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Hi my name is Link and Welcome to Jackass

Summary:

When Zora's domain comes under attack by a mysterious and ancient force, Prince Sidon of the Zora is not content to merely sit on the sidelines and wait for the demise of his beloved home. With his best friend Link, the Hylian champion of legend, bearer of the sword that seals the darkness, he will jump into the world of adventuring and cross Hyrule to save his home.

But...

Hyrule, and Link, might be more than he bargained for.

Chapter 1: The Present

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The height at the edge of Shatterback point is dizzying. It has to be at least two hundred meters, Link decides, peering cautiously over into Zora’s domain below. The water in the inlet that the domain is built into is a serene, deep blue, waters flowing gently out into the river that the reservoir feeds. There aren’t any rocks right under the surface, though with how high he is right now hitting the water after falling would be like hitting flagstones regardless.

He can hear the other champions talking as the princess drones on through the ceremony. Revali in particular isn’t making any effort to be quiet, and he hears their whole exchange before the memory fades out.

He unbuckles his shield.


Prince Sidon is having a wonderful day.

He’s taking a rare moment of tranquility to himself, submerged and letting the current take him downstream at a sluggish pace. A few moments ago, when he was still on the upper level directly below Zora’s Domain, he could see the repair crews flitting back and forth to assess the damage to the reservoir wall.

He’s in especially high spirits because Link just came through an hour ago to say hello and take care of the Lynel on Shatterback point. He’d turned down a reward of any kind. Sidon’s not a hundred percent certain why, because his Hylian friend is a man of few words, but Link had insisted the act was its own reward somehow. How generous his friend is! He understands now why Mipha chose him, despite the elders’ grousing.

Sidon’s thoughts are interrupted by movement above. He squints to see through the distorted surface and upwards. A dot is moving at the top of - no, off of Shatterback point. And getting bigger. No, getting closer, he realizes with a start. Somebody just jumped off of the cliffs, but no one would have been up there, because the Lynel -

The Lynel.

Link!?

Sidon’s blood runs ice cold.

One powerful pump of his legs shoots Sidon towards the surface.

He’s been injured and thrown off the edge, he thinks, in a panic. There’s something wrong with his paraglider, he’s -

“WhoooooOOOOOOOOF!”

Link hits the water a second after Sidon breaks the surface, long enough for the prince to register a jarringly un-terrified whoop of excitement before Link splashes down shield-first into the water.

He’s able to register several things as Link swerves to try and avoid him. The paraglider is out, though he had to have unfurled it mere moments before hitting the water. Link is, for lack of a better term, surfing on his shield. And lastly, despite the course correction, he’s about to bowl into Sidon.

They do in fact collide. The paraglider takes some of the oomph out of it, but Link’s hurried attempt to miss him results in his shield being pulled out from under him and his side hits the prince right in the chest. The next few seconds is a tangle of limbs and water.

Link eventually finds purchase to tread water, gasping for breath as Sidon holds him up by the shoulders. A wooden round shield of Necludan make bobs in the water nearby.

“Sidon,” he says, by way of greeting. He looks sheepish.

“You just about stopped my heart, Link!” Sidon exclaims. “What in Hyrule were you thinking?”

The Hylian considers for a moment, and Sidon feels his shoulders attempt to lift, despite their awkward position, into a shrug.

“Wanted to get down.”

Sidon stares at him incredulously.

“... Quickly,” Link amends weakly.

“That was quite a way to do it,” Sidon chides. “A fall like that could kill a Hylian. What if you’d mistimed?”

“I’ve got a fairy,” Link responds matter-of-factly, and paddles his way out of Sidon’s grip towards his discarded shield. He turns back to Sidon once he’s grabbed it, using it like a kickboard to keep himself steady in the water. He must note the way Sidon’s browridge is raised, because he shakes his head and flashes the prince a smile. “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. Sorry I hit you.”

Sidon hesitates, knowing firsthand the truth of it. His concern evaporates, replaced with a grin.

Most impressive!” he says, swimming over to clap Link on the back. “You’ll have to show me another time how the trick was supposed to go, yes?”

A bewildered look passes over Link’s face before he grins in return.

“Of course.”


As it turns out, a few days later, the trick was supposed to go like this:

Link jumps off of the top of the cliff and lets himself freefall a good third of the way to the bottom before unfurling his paraglider, which slows his downwards momentum and, because of the way he’s angled it, sends him sharply forward. He closes the glider as he hits the water with his shield at an angle and skims across the surface, just hitting the rocky wall to one side of the cliff as he’s slowed down.

Sidon claps as he approaches and Link laughs, a pleasing sound that Sidon doesn’t believe he’s had the chance to hear before.

A few minutes later they’re up on the cliff sides. Link is squeezing the water out of his bandana as they sit next to each other overlooking Zora’s Domain.

“Wherever did you learn such a skill?” Sidon asks, comfortable in the sunlight.

“Hebra,” Link says, unhooking the Sheikah Slate from his belt.

Sidon leans in to look at the little machine curiously. He’s never seen anything like it in his life. At Link’s touch, its surface moves through different states. He sees a series of pictograms, a map, and a rectangular grid of little images fly by before Link taps one of the latter and it scales up to fit the display. It’s a view from the top of a snowy peak, overlooking a series of cliffs that, when viewed from that exact angle, form the illusion of a giant white bird.

“What a wondrous device,” Sidon breathes, and turns to Link. Link, whose face is a little bit closer than he’d intended, but doesn’t seem overly bothered. “May I…?”

Link nods and hands the slate over. Very carefully, Sidon experiments with the controls and after a few seconds has gotten the hang of swiping through the pictures. There are many of them, from what Sidon can only surmise is all around Hyrule. Pictures of places, often views from high up, people, even monsters and unique landmarks. A few of them have short annotations attached at the top of the picture, like “Eighth Heroine’s Statue”. Thinking back to his diplomatic cultural lessons, that one is particularly startling.

“They’re incredibly lifelike,” he says, and Link huffs out a laugh and gestures for the Slate. Once it’s returned, he holds up the back of the slate at Sidon, leans back a little, and there’s a short sort of whirring click. He examines the result and then hands it back to Sidon.

It’s a picture of him, as he was a moment ago, curiously following Link’s movements.

“Ah! That’s amazing!” he says. “So all of these are captured like that?”

Link nods, and Sidon browses through the gallery, picking out a picture of a huge serpent in the sky over the profile of Mount Lanaryu at night. A campfire burns in the foreground, only enhancing the sense of scale.

“What is this?” he asks.

“Naydra,” Link says, leaning in to point at the dragon, “Over the Spring of Wisdom. Was at the Lanaryu Promenade.”

“It’s a beautiful picture,” he says. He’s a hundred percent sincere. A lot of them are, he thinks. They’re pleasing to look at, captured in such a way that he’s certain Link tried to capture the subject from the best angle.

“Had to take a few,” Link admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “He flies fast. Almost missed it.”

“What about this one?” he asks, paging over to the first page, which is entirely composed of images of scenery.

Link stills, a frown twitching its way onto his face.

“I didn’t take it,” he says, fidgeting with the hem on the bottom of his tunic. “... Was on there when I got it.”

“Ah,” Sidon says. Looking closer, there’s some kind of notation on some of them, as well, but they’re just a mix of standard Hylian and a language he doesn’t understand.

“Here,” Link says, beckoning for the slate back. “Wanna see magnesis?”


It’s not until later that week that Sidon sees Link again. It’s twilight, the reds and golds receding from the parts of the sky visible from the domain. He’s on his way to an evening meeting when he spies the Hylian’s short figure.

He’s in front of Mipha’s statue, looking up, face covered by a hood. Sidon considers leaving him alone for a moment, but something about the way the champion is standing says that he could use the company. He walks up beside him, looking up at his sister’s gentle expression.

“Do you miss her?” Link asks, after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes,” Sidon says, without hesitation. “Not as keenly as father, or the elders. I was very small. But, I do miss her terribly.”

Link doesn’t say anything else. He eventually gives Sidon a nod, and Sidon thinks it’s a grateful one. Then he starts to leave.

Sidon watches him go. He feels a part of himself tugged after him, and feels torn. Link clearly wants to be alone, but…

“Link,” he says, jogging a few steps to catch up with him. Link turns, blinking owlishly. “If you need to talk, I would be glad to listen.”

He sees the conflict roil in Link’s eyes at the offer. He opens his mouth, and then closes it again and shakes his head.

“...’nk you,” Link says quietly, before turning to go again. This time, Sidon doesn’t follow.


Plunk.

Link throws rocks down into the swamp below, perched on the edge of a ruined platform. Until a few days ago, when he solved the shrine’s puzzle, the whole area had been trapped under an unending thunderstorm.

He’s cursing himself. It would have been nice to talk to Sidon. Out of everyone he’s met since he awoke, Sidon is by far the most supportive and friendly. But given the chance to talk to him about this

Link sighs.

Plunk, plunk, plunk.

He’s going to go and try to make headway up Death Mountain. Maybe it’ll get his mind off of this.

Notes:

This is actually a fic I've been sitting on for a while, as a WIP - but screw it, I'm gonna finish it once Future Vision is done anyway, so I'll go ahead and post what I have done on a weekly basis until I hit the end of what I've got. My only regret is it's not quite as polished as my recent stuff, but I hope you enjoy anyway!