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The Singing Towers. How long had it been since she was here? Twenty four years ago with River? No. It must’ve been longer. It felt so distant, those memories. She never went here. Never alone at least. It brought back too many heart wrenching memories, but ones she held close to her hearts. Why was she here? Why did she come here? Why did she want to come here? Her fam was asleep in their rooms in the TARDIS but she couldn’t sleep. And how could she? She had just stopped an entire parallel universe from dragging her friends away by using fake projections of their lost loved ones. Love. Right. That’s why she was here. She still felt alone. Still felt this ongoing pain in her chest. She was the last of her kind after all. Everyone she loved was gone- well, not everyone if she counted Yasmin Khan but... She always fell in love with earth girls, it was a bad habit. But isn’t that what Missy and River would’ve wanted? For her to be happy? For her to move on? Yet moving on was mere impossible for her. That's why she always ran. The Doctor slouched against the balcony, looking up at the two towers and the light of the setting twin suns shining in between them. The song always reminded her of River. It kind of reminded her of Missy, though she didn't dare take Missy here. She doubted the rebel Timelady would've enjoyed something so soppy and romantic. The Doctor huffed. She missed seeing how Missy’s gaze would soften around her, watching her empathy grow during their conversations in The Vault. She missed River too. She missed her tricks, her sly remarks, her stubbornness... She missed her wives, her lovers. The only two people in the universe who truly understood her. “Looks like you’ve got a lot on your mind there.” A familiar Scottish drawl broke The Doctor out of her trance. She flipped her head over in the direction of the voice and she swore she felt her hearts stop. There was Missy, in a black Victorian blazer and matching skirt with a white brooch in the center of her neck. Her hair was in a more smoother up do, less frizzy than before. The TimeLady offered a soft smile to the blonde, who had completely forgotten how to breathe. “K-Koschei... y-you’re-“ “Not alive, not dead.” Missy soothed, walking up to The Doctor who lunged herself forward into her arms only to go right through her. “T-Telepathic hologram..” Missy nodded. "You can see me, but you can’t touch me.” Her smile shifted into a slight frown. The Doctor swallowed a lump in her throat. She could feel tears burning in her eyes and she squeezed them shut for a moment. "Why are you here.” “You were thinking about me.” Missy stated simply. “I was watching your whole journey today. Theta-“ “Don't call me that.” “Why not?" “Because it hurts!" The Doctor snapped. “It only hurts because you still run away from it. You have to face it.” Missy hushed, trying to form the correct sentence. “I know you miss me. And I miss you too. But I’m always with you, Doctor. I’m right here,” her hand ghosted over The Doctor’s temple, “and here,” her other hand ghosted over The Doctor’s chest. She swore she felt a bit of warmth in between her hearts. As if that warmth had been there all along. The Doctor felt her lip quiver. “Koschei...” she stepped back, a tear falling down her cheek. "I-I can’t do this. I can’t do this alone I need you back!" “But you’re not alone," another familiar voice made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up- a deep, english accent with a hint of authority. River. It was River Song. She stood next to Missy, dressed in a long sleeved black dress that formed a v around her neck, low enough to show her collarbones. Whatever composure The Doctor had left crumbled. She broke down, falling to her knees and burying her hands in her face. Too much. This was all too much. "River... R-River please. Don’t do this why are you doing this? Why are both of you doing this?" River knelt beside her. The Doctor tried to lean against her but again felt nothing. She let a sob of frustration escape her, her body begging to feel some sort of closure, some sort of contact but nothing was there. “This isn’t fair. You’re here but you aren’t and I can’t touch you!” “Doctor... do you remember what you told Erick back there in that alternate universe?” River asked. The Doctor slowly looked up at River, wiping tears away from her eyes. “You told him to move on...” “But I can’t-“ “There are other people out there that need you.” Missy murmured. “But I need you!” The Doctor whined. “Guide me, stay with me, anything please!” She hesitantly stood. “I-I’m lost. I’m so lost without you both..." ”But there’s someone else who can help you.” River gave her a half smile. “Who?" “She’s in your TARDIS.” Missy’s icy blue eyes gleamed in what looked like interest but something else The Doctor couldn’t quite make out. “She? Wait.. Y-you mean Yaz..?" River chuckled softly. “You're always so clueless sweetie. Ask her. She’d be more than willing to help you.” She put her hand out towards Missy who took it, glancing at River and then back at The Doctor. “But how? How do I ask her? Please enough hints I need an answer!” “She has the answer. You’ll be alright Theta.” Missy smirked. Before The Doctor could say another word, they were gone as quick as they had come. The Doctor hissed. Move on? Easier said than done. But what did they mean about other people? What did they mean about Yaz? Did Yaz love her like that? Guilt boiled in her stomach. She really was horrible at picking out social cues... The gentle singing of the twin towers brought her back into reality of where she was. She looked behind her, watching the twin suns light gleam through the two towers and smiled sadly, exhaling a long breath. She forced herself to drag her feet back towards her TARDIS, materializing as quickly as possible away from the Singing Towers and into orbit. She leaned against the console and looked at her reflection in the scanner. Back with the spiders when Yaz’s Mum asked if they were seeing each other... Yaz seemed... hopeful? And pretty let down when The Doctor said they weren’t. She was always by her side, always helping The Doctor and asking very important questions during their adventures. And she loved adventure. Loved the unknown. How her face lit up and how she smiled... and her eyes... The Doctor's lip curled into a soft smile. Yaz was beautiful. She was clever, open minded, brave, positive, daring, adventurous... her list could go on for ages. Yaz was perfect. Yaz was brilliant. Yaz was- “Doctor?” “Y-Yaz!” The Doctor jumped at the sound of her friends voice. She was wearing one of her rainbow striped t-shirts with a pair of joggers and The Doctor tried not to smile. Was that a hint? Was that a clue? “Are you okay?” Yaz asked, making her jump back into reality again. Her cheeks turned red and she looked away, clearing her throat. “Yeah I-I’m fine, er, what are you doing up this late?" “I thought I heard The TARDIS’ engines. Must’ve been dreaming I guess." She shrugged. "Do you... sleep at all?” “I've gone centuries without sleeping before." The Doctor murmured. “Insomnia is a lovely thing isn't it." “You sure it’s just insomnia?” Yaz pressed on. Her amber eyes shone with concern and- was that worry too? Did she care? The Doctor swallowed a lump in her throat. "I-I... no. It’s not.” “Why don’t we sit down.” She suggested. “We could talk in my room? Or yours, whichever you prefer. But change into some pajamas at least.” “But I don’t sleep.” The Doctor looked at her confused. “Just do it. I’ll make us some tea.” “Can you grab the biscuits?” Yaz rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, I’ll grab the biscuits... go get changed. Meet me back at my room." ——————————————————— “What kind of tea is this?” The Doctor asked, wrapping the warm mug around her palms. “Lavender. It’s a relaxation brew.” Yaz took a sip of hers. The two woman sat on Yaz’s purple bed sheets, a plate of biscuits in front of them. The crystal lights were dimmed above them, creating a soft golden glow in the room. The Doctor had changed into a pair of joggers and a black long sleeve shirt. “And you think the tea is going to help me sleep?” The Doctor raised a brow, taking a hesitant sip. “Yes, and no. I was hoping it would calm you at least. And I was also hoping to ease whatever's bothering you by just talking about it. But only if you’d like.” She added quickly. The Doctor shifted her jaw. "Erick’s wife and Grace reminded me of some of my past... spouses..." She murmured, grabbing a biscuit. “You were married?” A small smile crept up on Yaz’s face. “Twice. Two wives.” The Doctor said through a mouthful of biscuit. "What happened to them?” A wave of longing and grief washed over The Doctor’s face. She slowly swallowed her biscuit. “Both stories are very complicated and would take forever for me to explain but... they both died....” Yaz's smile faltered. "I’m sorry... Were they TimeLords?” “Oh yes they were. Clever, sly, sarcastic pains in the arse,” she chuckled, “but Gods were they lovely...” “Do you miss them?” Yaz asked softly “All the time...” The Doctor murmured. “It hurts. A lot. I-I...” her voice slowly trailed off. Yaz gently reached for The Doctor’s hand and The Doctor hesitantly took it, her cheeks turning red. She swallowed a lump in her throat. “Everything’s just more apparent after that alternate universe.” She tried to hide the emotion in her voice but Yaz knew it was there. She let go of The Doctor’s hand and The Doctor looked up at her with panic in her gaze at the loss of contact, but Yaz was simply moving the plate of biscuits onto her bedside table so she could move closer to The Doctor, holding both of her hands. She gave them a gentle squeeze, running her thumb over her knuckles. The Doctor’s gaze relaxed a bit at the gain of contact, her hazel eyes staring back into Yaz’s amber ones. “You feel alone even when you have new friends. Don’t you.” The Doctor tensed "I hate being alone-“ “But you’re not. You have Graham and Ryan. You have me.” A tear fell down the Doctor's cheek. Yaz let go of one of The Doctor’s hands to wipe it away with her thumb. She cupped The Doctor’s cheek in her palm and The Doctor hesitantly leaned into her touch. "Why do you isolate yourself?” Yaz asked softly. “You hate being alone but you don’t let us help you...” “Because I’m broken, Yaz. My version of broken is beyond repair. I’ve seen more than you humans can imagine, I’ve felt more than you could ever feel. And it hurts. It still hurts. It’ll always hurt....” “It will hurt, but it’ll hurt less if you don’t dwell on it. Please Doctor. Let me help you...” She leaned in, pressing her lips against The Doctor’s for a brief moment. A shudder rippled its way through the Timelord's body and she quickly pulled away. A pained look sculpted it's way onto Yaz's face. She cleared her throat. "Sorry I didn't-" "Do you love me?" The Doctor blurted. "I-I mean, do you really fancy me that much?" Yaz raised a brow. "Do best friends kiss each other on the lips?" "Dunno? Maybe? Possibly..? Humans are so weird with your whole, friends with benefits kind of thing- is that what we are?" Yaz laughed softly. "We can be if you want... You're really that clueless aren't you?" She grinned, draping her arms around The Doctor's neck. "N-not the first time I've heard that." The Doctor muttered though there was a soft smile on her lips. "But you still haven't answered my question..." Yaz's response was to pull The Doctor closer to her and lock their lips into a deeper kiss. The Doctor practically melted against her, a shudder crawling down her spine. It had been a long time since anyone had kissed her like this. She hadn't realized how much she needed this kind of contact, how much she craved it. She took the risk of opening her mouth to deepen the kiss and pulled Yaz closer to her- It was Yaz's turn to shudder against her. She slowly pulled back with a rather surprised expression. She smirked. "Wasn't expecting you to be bold so soon." "Oh shut it." The blonde muttered, nuzzling her head underneath Yaz's chin to hide her blush. Yaz grinned at the affection. "Did I answer your question at least?" She could feel The Doctor's shy smile against her neck in response. "Yeah, you did... and I-I think I answered my own question too." Yaz wrapped her arms around The Doctor's middle who leaned further into the other woman's touch. "I'm always here for you." She murmured. "Whether it's to talk or to cuddle, don't hesitate to ask." The Doctor's smile broadened. She pressed her lips gently against her chin. "I'll make sure I don't abuse that cuddling offer then." Yaz laughed softly through her nose. "You won't." She pressed a kiss onto The Doctor's forehead. "Trust me, you won't."