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English
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Published:
2011-03-14
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954
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1/1
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We Did Not Make Ourselves

Summary:

We are all God's creatures.

Work Text:

The first thing your parents tell you is: We are all God's creatures.

*
Before now, you've never had the same dream twice. It's probably a chip malfunction, collateral damage from the landing, from being thrown around the Betty like a marble in a tin can.

The dream replays over and over: the hybrid being sucked out of the airlock, limbs jerking wildly, trying to tear away. Skin and skeleton buckling as its insides empty into Space. In the dream you can't look away, and the hybrid's eyes stare back at you for an eternity before they drop to the floor, pulled down in a tangle of bone.

It shouldn't make you feel so sad.

*
You're setting up for that night's camp when Johner pulls you towards the cover of the trees. Ripley and Vriess are nowhere in sight, and Johner's breath is sour as he leans into you.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"What?"

He rolls his eyes before he looks at you again. "Look, I'm no fucking scientist, but isn't she one of them?"

You shake your head. "They took it out of her. There's nothing left."

It's not entirely true. They cut the alien out, you saw the scar, but Ripley still walks like she can see around corners.

"What about when we get to the city? Say they know she made it off that ship somehow? What if they come after us? It's bullshit, man."

"How would they know? Everyone who knew died on that ship."

He perks up for a second. "Maybe they'll be a reward?"

"Oh, fuck you." You start to walk away from him. "You'd sell your own child if the price was right."

"Hey!" You look back and he's grinning. "That's not fair, I love all my kids." He points to the sky with the gun in his hand, draws a wide circle. "Whoever and wherever they may be."

*
When you wake up this time, you're crying.

Johner and Vriess are asleep either side of the fire, still and solid, like sacks of sand. You sit up and swipe at your face with your sleeve. First chance you get you're getting your head examined.

You can see Ripley out of the corner of your eye, the long line of her back, the way her body meets the ground at odd angles.

"Ripley?" You say her name without thinking, and it falls out of you in a whisper.

Her whole body turns towards you, and as she moves you are reminded of a snake uncoiling. In the firelight her eyes appear to glow.

"What's the matter, kid?"

You swallow hard, feel suddenly ridiculous. "Do you dream, Ripley?"

She gives an odd laugh, and her teeth catch the light. For a second you wonder if you're still asleep.

"Yeah. Just not my own."

You don't go back to sleep that night. Instead you lie awake listening to the strange shallow way that Ripley breathes. You wait for things to come crawling out of the dark.

*
The first thing they tell you is that we are all God's creatures. Your hands are wire and skin, but press them together and they work like flesh and blood.

Let us pray

*
The closer you get to the city, the more time Johner spends talking to Vriess. You wonder if you should worry, maybe Johner's decided you'd fetch a nice price too.

Ripley keeps turning back to look at the two of them until finally she looks at you. "What's their deal?"

You shrug and keep on walking. "Asshole support group."

Ripley smiles, seems pleased, and you almost don't continue. Almost. "Maybe we should talk about what to do if they know you're still alive? We can't let them catch you again. We can't let it all happen again."

Ripley's stride breaks for a second, and out of the corner of your eye you see her turn her wrist upwards, see the tattooed '8' dark against her skin. Her hand comes up to rest against her gun.

"They won't get me again." Her voice has changed. You want to touch her, but don't.

*
Sometimes in the dream you look away and watch Ripley instead. Sometimes that's worse. That moment she walks towards the creature and you're not sure whose side she's on. You know for a second even Ripley can't tell, something awful in her face as her hands slide up to draw the hybrid to her.

Then afterwards, the way she buckles like all the breath has left her body. Like her heart has broken. Her fists clench and her mouth moves, and you always wake up before you can hear what she's trying to say.

*
You open your eyes to the pale cloudy sky, and Ripley is stretched out next to you, watching.

Her hand comes up to stroke your cheek. "It was just a dream." For a second you remember the feeling of those long fingers around your neck, squeezing.

"I know." It wasn't just a dream though. There's still a hole in the middle of you that hurts if you breathe in too fast.

Johner starts to stir and Ripley smiles at you before she moves away.

Your face feels hot where she touched it, acid on metal. She smells like skin and something else. You've never seen her sleeping.

*
You knew it even then: We are not all God's creatures. Some of us are accidents of science. Maybe little girls with clockwork hearts don't get to go to heaven.

*
Your gun is strapped to your back, the sun is hot on your neck, and every so often Ripley's strong arm snakes out to steady you across the terrain.

Maybe you all belong here anyway.