You Were There For Me Through Gifts

by N_Author

Chapter 22: Last Chapter

You Were There For Me Through Gifts:

 

Chapter 21:

 

A young man of twenty five, with red eyes and dark hair reaching his shoulder which sometimes tickled his neck, along with a face that could attract anybody reflected in the mirror he was gazing at. Tom didn’t want to sound vain but he was handsome and he knew how to use it too. But that didn’t mean he did not has a threatening aura which was what kept the mindless fools and stupid girls wanting to trap him in relationship from approaching him.

The ministry ball had lost its charm and excitement to Tom as he got used to it because he had attended many balls organized by his followers. When you get the hang of socializing and that too with a manipulative mind like his, the balls had started losing its excitement as he grew bored and even tired of the stupidity.

Even if he was bored or tired, he usually kept everything behind his blank, expressionless face and mingled with the group while pretending to enjoy the mind-numbing conversations. Only very few people surprised him with their intelligence whom all has become his followers in just few tries with his manipulation mixed with seduction and flattery.

But today he was not keeping his appearances and avoided the crowd with a glass of wine and even glared at Nott and Avery who tried to approach him. Because he was not in the mood today…

Tom looked away from the mirror not able to supress the thoughts rose in him like it usually happened whenever he looked at him in mirror.

It has been seven years… Seven fucking years that he could not look at himself in mirror more than a minute…

No matter how handsome he was, no matter how charming he was, the only person he ever wanted was not with him.

Green eyes full of anger and betrayal, glaring at him…

The red lips he used to kiss, suck and devour uttered such hateful words to him that day near the entrance of Salazar’s secret chamber echoed in his mind, driving him insane with pain whenever he was left alone even after many years.

Tom hadn’t spoken with Harry from that day not that Harry had given him any chance. Their final year at Hogwarts ended quickly with project works and NEWTs preparation. Tom did try to see Harry as they had two same classes but other than that, the moment Tom even took a step towards Harry, Harry used some sort of invisibility which Tom could not find out what kind of magic and escaped every damn time. Tom had given up on chasing Harry as he didn’t know what to talk about or should he even apologize?

Why should Tom apologize when Harry refused to speak like a matured teenager and avoided him at all cost?

Why should Tom be the one suffering?

Tom was now the only wizard who had gone further than any wizard in the quest of immortality. He had already made a Horcrux after he had graduated.

Tom didn’t dare to make more, wanting to observe himself before making another one as it warned in the book he read that his magic might take time to stabilize after splitting his soul. So Tom had travelled for a while before settling to the job in Borgin and Burkes for over two years where he had gained what he had been searching for, from a stupid old lady. All the while Tom recruited followers in secret under the guise of a poor assistant in Borgin and Burkes.

Tom then had made another Horcrux with the Hufflepuff cup, murdering without any reason for the first time. Granted, he had murdered his filthy muggle father, making the ring his first Horcrux but he was enraged that time because of how Riddle Sr. treated him when he visited him, yelling at him, calling him a monster… Tom had lost it that day but the next murder didn’t have any reason other than furthering his chances at immortality. Tom had wanted to make the locket into his second horcrux but thought against it and kept the locket away as it was too painful to even look at that, reminding him of the day Harry gave it back.

His hands trembled the second time he murdered someone that day…

The cup and ring safely hidden and he had resigned that job too, wanting to travel the world and learn all sort of magic.

That was why he was sulking today amidst hundreds of people in the ball.

Even though he was excited to travel the world, he felt reluctant as he had never left the country. That was why he was hesitating and being angry more than usual.

Yes, the anger… The anger in him had changed to an entirely new level, a side effect of splitting his soul two times. He got irritated easily and punished people for things he normally wouldn’t. But it was a price he was willing to pay for immortality.

In fact, he had hoped that, wanted a particular part of him to get erased…

But, no…

Even after making two horcruxes, Tom was still plagued with the memories of a certain green eyed person which never failed to leave his heart aching.

Tom frowned at the familiar feeling of his heart being squeezed rose in him.

Tom absolutely loathed this feeling but he could not do anything about it as his mind was assaulted with the images of Harry in an obsessive manner as like always.

Tom could still remember his seventh year, having no choice but to grit his teeth when Harry avoided him like plague, when Harry refused to even look at him, when he overheard how Malfoy, fucking bastard spent the days in Harry’s room in Ravenclaw with Harry. It had of course, made Tom to hex the next time he saw Malfoy which turned into a full serious duelling. It was interrupted by Harry, who knelt beside Malfoy, fussing over him, not even sparing him a glance and left with Malfoy to the infirmary.

That was what finally cracked Tom out of the delusion that Harry and he would get back one day. After that Tom had given up on Harry and the last time he saw Harry was on the graduation day.

Dressed in his Ravenclaw robes, amongst his family and friends who all had a proud look as Harry had the highest NEWTs score and also the first person to get first in academics for seven consecutive academic years of Hogwarts and refused to meet his eyes even while Tom had to stay beside him throughout the ceremony for getting second in academics.

But just before departing, just before reaching the apparition point with his family, Harry had turned back and looked at him straight in eye…

The look which haunted his mind in dreams and in his lonely times even now…

Green eyes pained with an expression of betrayal, grimacing at him before Harry turned away from him as if Tom was a lost cause…

Tom clenched his fingers, anger rising in him at the memory of his graduation day…

It was Tom who felt betrayed…

The one person Tom counted on,

The one person whom he trusted on some level,

The one person who was always there for him,

The one and only person Tom didn’t hate or want to use in the whole universe,

That one person, his H had left him… left him, threw him away, broke their relationship all because they didn’t agree on the topic. Harry should have spoken with him, heck should have at least convinced him or changed him but Tom even in his nightmare had never imagined Harry abandoning him.

It was the first time Tom felt truly betrayed…

But that was the last Tom had last seen of Harry…

Years had passed since seeing his green eyes, his silky hair, pouting lips, fingers that used to caresses Tom’s hair…

Tom missed it, missed Harry like how he felt after making the first Horcrux for months, missing his soul, feeling slightly emptier than ever.

It might be strange to hear that Tom hadn’t seen Harry for years. But it was true and yes, in fact Tom heard about Harry after pestering Avery who was somewhat was on speaking terms with Malfoy and have heard that Harry didn’t take any job and has been travelling the world with his father and some other relative. Tom did subtly try to read the mind of Malfoy when Tom saw him in ministry or in social balls just to catch a glimpse of anything about Harry but Malfoy’s occlumency was really very good. Fortunately or unfortunately, Malfoy didn’t join him as a follower, even went so far and stayed away from him. Tom did see Alex Potter on the Daily Prophet more often as he was one of the famous Quidditch players.

Tom won’t be pathetic enough to admit to anyone that he had gone to Alex Potter’s matches sometimes just so in case if Harry attended Alex’s matches.

But it was of no use…

Tom longed to catch a glimpse of Harry at least once before he leaves England for years.

Tom felt stupid as he grew into an adult that he had foolishly let go of his H… Merlin, he should have begged if necessary, should have convinced Harry to stay with him. Tom did send Owls to Harry but every owl he sent had returned with his letter unopened. And Tom threw himself in dark arts and ritual magic, becoming angered at Harry as the days passed.

Yet, he could not stop these stupid and irritating feelings he had for Harry… Even after years, he could not let go of H.

Tom gulped the wine in one go and lifted a hand so as to call the nearby elf with a tray of glasses. He aggressively grabbed a wine glass, watching the elf scurrying away with dark satisfaction.

He wanted to hurt everything Harry had loved, particularly the house elves. That’s why it had brought a dark feeling of something akin to content when he framed the elf for the murder of Hepzibah Smith…

Tom wanted to hurt Harry for how much Tom was hurting while Harry remained unreachable and unaffected so in his anger, all he could do was hurt the things Harry held dear to him. That was why every gift Harry had sent him had been locked in his Hogwarts trunk including Terror. That trunk hadn’t been opened after his graduation day.

Just like his reflection, Tom couldn’t stand to see those things. It brought guilt and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

Tom put the empty glass after drinking the wine on the nearby table and moved away from the crowd as the people were moving away from the centre of the hall when the music started to play. Tom watched his followers with their dates they brought to the centre to dance and he hid his irritation behind the blank mask and gazed at one of the enchanted windows to show the snowing outside.

Christmas would be tomorrow…

Tom grit his teeth at the emotions rose in him along with pain so deep at the thought of Christmas. Tom hadn’t celebrated Christmas after his last year in Hogwarts.

Because, in his last year, his seventh year at Hogwarts, there hasn’t been any gift from H. Tom had waited till the end of twelve during that night for anything from H…

That day had been beyond painful that Harry hadn’t sent anything to him… H had sent him gifts ever since he was a child and to not receive anything on his favourite day was something Tom hadn’t expected. Granted he and Harry was not on speaking terms but to not send him anything, at least a chocolate from Honeydukes should have been enough but Harry hadn’t bothered with him after that.

After that, every year Tom couldn’t help himself but wait for anything on every Christmas despite how hard he tried to stop waiting. Some part of Tom waited, even now for Harry to approach him, to give him a chance…

Yes, Tom still could not let go of his ambitions and it was too late anyway for how he had already made two horcruxes but if Harry came to him, give him a chance, Tom would treasure him beyond anyone or anything. Tom didn’t know why they could not be together as Tom liked Harry the way he was and never wanted Harry to change. Then why did Harry want Tom to change? Why couldn’t Harry accept Tom as he was? Heck, Tom didn’t even want Harry to accept him completely but wanted Harry to stay beside him while ignoring his darker sides.

He just wanted Harry by his side even if Harry didn’t accept all of Tom…

Tom sighed when he noticed footsteps approaching him, knowing who it was, he looked up, halting Greengrass with a glare and a slight shake of his head, indicating no. Greengrass bowed to him in acceptance and moved towards the crowd to gossip with a smile. That was what he had liked about her, accepting his every command unlike his other followers. That was why he brought her to these kinds of events as his date. She was the only one who didn’t scream when he marked her, smiling all the while even when she fainted afterwards due to the pain. She was absolutely obsessed with him and so completely loyal that Tom was lenient towards her in his punishment when he got easily irritated nowadays.

Tom ignored the whispers about the beautiful couples dancing marvellously and how handsome some of the males were and continuously gazed at the snow accusingly of what it once meant to him.

A longing stronger than ever rose in him for Harry, just to gaze at his eyes, just to hear his laugh…

But in Harry’s eyes Tomwass nothing more than a murderer which he clarified very well during their last conversation. Granted that Tom being a murderer was true but he would never hurt Harry, he would lay the world in front of Harry’s feet.

Tom was pulled out of his thoughts when the crowd before him started gossiping loudly, pointing fingers at a particular male and admiring shamelessly of how beautiful he was. Tom barely hid his rising irritation, making him to glance around the dancing couples at who all they were pointing at.

Tom didn’t know who they all were talking about as there were many people who attended this ball including families and friends of the ministry workers.

Tom stumbled ungracefully, steadying himself by placing a hand on the nearby pillar at the person now moving away from the centre of the ball, shying away as everyone’s attention was on him.

Tom just caught a glimpse of green eyes and nothing else but he could identify those eyes anywhere…

His breath quickened and he released his magic not able to control, making the crowd to part subconsciously and Tom moved towards the figure exiting the hall where the ball was held, moving towards the corridor outside, leading to a garden.

Tom was stopped by the bumbling fool Fudge, engaging him in a conversation. If looks could kill, Fudge would be dead now. Fudge backed away noticing Tom’s expression and Tom lost sight of Harry.

It definitely was Harry…

Harry…

Merlin, it has been years… The longing he felt before now felt nothing compared to what he was feeling now. Even though Fudge disturbed him from following Harry, the disturbance did awaken his logical mind.

He couldn’t just go and say hi… Who knew how Harry felt? What if Harry was still angry? Tom would then lose the only chance of seeing him after years. So without bothering about anything, Tom hid his presence with a spell he used to spy on his followers and walked the corridor Harry left.

With each step, his heart race did quicken, making him feel like a teenager all over again…

Tom bit his lip before the gasp escaped through his lips when he finally looked at Harry in the garden.

Beautiful…

Tom felt that even beautiful won’t cover of how Harry looked. Harry looked like some otherworldly being, an angel that was beyond the reach of humans.

Harry was taller than how he was during Hogwarts. His hair was longer, reaching past his shoulder. And the way Harry was smiling at the flowers just like how he was in Hogwarts, the green eyes alive more than he ever knew just by gazing at the flowers he was always fond of. Tom felt stupid to feel jealous of the flowers around the garden but he could not help it…

Tom obsessively took every little change in Harry and his hands moved up as if to reach Harry, forgetting that he was invisible and he didn’t know if Harry would be as happy as Tom was to see him after years.

Harry looked even more beautiful, even more innocent and angel like in the eyes of Tom. Tom didn’t know how he let a person like Harry to go away from him.

Tom almost let out a happy sigh when the wind blew Harry’s hair away, revealing the ear cuff he used to lick and tease…

Harry moved towards the fountain in the centre as the whole garden was magically shielded from the snow but the coldness lingered in the air. Harry looked like he came out of fairy tale Tom used to read in the muggle books.

Of course, this wasn’t a fairy tale nor it was some dream. As if to prove the harshness of reality, a figure hugged Harry from behind. Tom was ready to curse the person who dared to and he was shocked to find Harry smiling, accepting the arms around him.

Yes, Tom didn’t expect Harry to curse but some part of Tom did expect Harry to push away from the intimate touch but what he was seeing was enough to freeze him in place.

Tom averted his eyes from Harry’s smile that went straight to his cold heart and looked at who was hugging Harry so intimately, only to sneer…

Bastard… The nerve of this fucking bastard…

Malfoy…

Draco Malfoy whom he hadn’t seen in the past two years had grown even taller, perfect height to have Harry in his filthy arms…

The rage that consumed his mind now didn’t help in hearing what they were speaking and smiling about but he did control his emotions when he heard his name in their conversation.

“Why did you leave the ball Harry? Is… Is it because of Riddl...?”

Harry cut Malfoy’s sentence before he completed his name.

“You know that it doesn’t matter… He doesn’t matter… You know that…”

Tom didn’t know that it would still hurt after splitting his soul, locking away part of his human emotions. Tom didn’t know how Harry could say it like this?

How?

They shared a relationship for Merlin’s sake…

Tom was Harry’s first in everything and how could he not matter anymore to Harry? This has to be a nightmare, a fucking nightmare and nothing more but Tom knew that this was real and his own personal hell.

Even if it was painful, Tom couldn’t take his eyes of Harry whom he hadn’t seen for the past seven years. Tom didn’t care how Malfoy looked; all he could see was Harry and how beautiful he looked even while speaking about Tom as if he didn’t matter anymore. It hurt too much but Tom still could not look away from Harry, taking in every little detail, every minute change in Harry’s expressions, some sort of little tattoos in his arm also in his neck and how Harry still had a habit of biting his lip slightly…

“Relax Harry, I was just…”

Harry cut Malfoy again,

“I know you’re worried about me Draco. And I left that ball because of how everyone started whispering about me. You know how much I hate attention…” Harry smiled even more angelically at Malfoy.

And Tom hated it, hated that smile, hated that it wasn’t directed at him, hated that a Slytherin like Malfoy who was just as ruthless as him in Politics was deemed acceptable to stay with Harry while Tom was abandoned by Harry, hated that Malfoy still had his arms loosely around Harry, hated everything Malfoy even more than how much he hated his filthy muggle father.

“I am sorry Harry. I was the one to bring you here…”

“Even though I hate these kinds of things, I don’t regret coming here with you and you know in my fourth year, you asked for me to dance too…”

Regret….

The word Tom hated more than anything…

The last time Harry had spoken with him, the words still echoed in his ears sometimes,

~~~~I regret it Tom; I regret ever knowing you, ever sending you gifts as H. I regret being there for you all those years. I regret letting you in my heart, I regret everything~~~~

Tom shook his head to clear his already messed up mind,

“Yeah Harry, but still…”

“Stop worrying about little things Draco. And you should stop chasing after me like some school boy chasing his crush, following me whenever I am not in your sight… Oh wait, you already did that…”

“Harry…” Malfoy whined horribly and Harry laughed at Malfoy’s expression. Tom was suddenly stuck by a sudden nostalgia of how Harry used to banter and tease Tom like that.

“Ok, ok sorry Draco. But you did follow me around like a lost puppy…”

“Well, you were quite beautiful and amazing even then though you remained so oblivious about my painfully obvious feelings. Hell even Longbottom knew about that which is saying something…”

Harry’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink which Tom could see it even in the lightly lit garden with magical and fairy lights.

“Oh, shut it… I didn’t realize how important you were when you started ignoring me in our seventh year.”

“Important, huh?”

“Of course you were.”

“Were?”

“Well, now you're more than important.”

Malfoy’s fingers now started playing with Harry’s long hair which kept getting in Harry’s face because of the wind and Tom’s fingers itched for his wand…

What stopped him was the fact that Harry seemed so blissful when Malfoy played with his hair…

“Stop playing with my hair Draco…”

“I will when you stop looking so content every time I play with your hair.”

“Dragon…” Harry almost moaned, his voice filled with fondness and affection.

Tom was glad he had put his wand away else Malfoy would be under the Cruciatus curse Tom had taken a liking to in the recent years. Because he didn’t know how Harry would react if he cursed Malfoy. He didn’t want to meet Harry after so many years while casting an unforgivable on Malfoy in the ministry ball.

Dragon?

“Stop calling me that Harry…”

Harry opened his eyes and with a playful smirk, he retorted,

“Well, you weren’t complaining last night when I called you Dragon in the bed.”

Tom didn’t want to stay here; he didn’t want to hear anymore. After all these years longing to catch a glimpse of Harry, he now didn’t want to see Harry.

Tom has always been smart and he knew what they were talking about. Those words confirmed his denial about the conclusion he came as soon as Malfoy hugged Harry few minutes before that they were dating and in a relationship.

Images flooded his mind of the day when he seduced Harry into allowing Tom to touch Harry, green eyes were wide with lust, voice screaming Tom’s name, the nipples he used to obsess over…

Tom had sworn that day to never let anyone see Harry like this. And Tom wanted to deny the fact that he had never expected Harry to move on… But he did expect, Tom never thought Harry would move on from Tom, forget him like this, being happy with someone else while Tom was struggling like this…

Tom was suddenly glad for being made two of horcruxes already as he didn’t know how he would feel with his complete soul when he felt like hell even with his soul torn apart.

If he could convince himself somehow that those words Harry uttered about spending the night with Malfoy were nothing but his wild imagination, he could have done so if not for the tattoo of a small dragon circling Harry’s neck. At first he didn’t know what it meant and now after hearing how Harry called Malfoy as Dragon so fondly, he could not help but see the signs of affection between them…

If it wasn’t for that then, now Malfoy pulled Harry closer, one hand going around Harry’s waist and another moved towards Harry’s nape, a finger circling the dragon tattoo on Harry’s neck possessively before Malfoy claimed Harry’s lips…

Tom could feel his magic which he always took pride of for being in control all the time now was lashing out from his core to the surroundings, making some of the flowers around him to wilt as the magic kept to keep the plants always fresh was being destroyed by his magic fuelled with rage and anger along with sadness and pain laced with betrayal beyond words.

The spell he had cast himself faded away, taking away the safety of his invisibility so that he could not hide the raw emotions on his face.

What little logic mind he had, to control his magic, it vanished when Harry lifted his hand to pull Malfoy closer, making the ring on Harry’s finger visible clearly which had a Malfoy Crest on it. Of course, he had studied the symbols and traditions of each pureblood house which had helped him countless times in flattering a Pureblood to join him. But he wished he didn’t know anything about the symbols.

Tom knew, of course he heard that rumour that Malfoy was engaged in a private ceremony but he didn’t pay any attention to it and now looking at the Malfoy ring on Harry’s finger and the Potter ring on Malfoy’s finger was clear enough of what their relationship was.

For a moment, he could imagine it, no, he could see it clearly in his mind of how well they looked together and loathed to admit the love he could clearly see between them and the children with Malfoy’s hair and Harry’s eyes or with Harry’s features with Malfoy’s eyes they might give birth to, aging as the years passed together, loving each other even when they grew old, surrounded by family in their death bed…

Suddenly, his own immortality seemed too lonely…

Tom only realized that his spell faded away when those green eyes widened, staring straight at him after pulling away from Malfoy.

Malfoy turned to look at what Harry was staring at and drew his wand. Tom was too frozen in shock to draw his wand, praying for the first time in his life to let it be nothing but a nightmare.

“Bastard, you have some nerve Riddle…” Malfoy sneered at him in anger,

But of course, there was no spells cast as Harry stepped in, putting a hand over Malfoy’s wand hand, making Malfoy to turn away from Tom and to gaze solely at Harry’s eyes.

“Harry…”

Tom hated how his voice was unsteady and how his hands trembled…

Harry turned away from him and intertwined his fingers with Malfoy, kissing Malfoy’s cheek and pulled Malfoy towards the door that lead to the ball.

“Come on Draco, let’s go home…”

What hurt the most was not how the word home implied that wherever they both were staying together was home, no, what hurt the most was Harry didn’t ignore him nor did Harry was angry at seeing him, the fact that Harry didn’t care, that the presence of Tom didn’t matter and passed Tom like Tom was a stranger and an unknown person was what hurt Tom the most…

Tom didn’t know how long he stayed in the garden, staring at where Harry stood even after Harry left with Malfoy. Minutes, may be an hour…. But when finally everything settled in, Tom’s legs gave away and he slumped on the grass, trying to breathe because all of a sudden it felt as if there was not enough oxygen for him…

It was unusual behaviour for Tom to be like this, he should have cast the killing curse on Malfoy for the pain he caused and with two horcruxes, he was already unstable then why didn’t he do that?

Because it was Harry and Harry always brought the human emotions he deemed as weakness in him…

Tom now knew why that splitting his soul apart twice didn’t take the emotions and feelings he had for Harry away. Because no matter how many times he split his soul, Harry’s memories and his feelings would always be attached to him for if you take away the feelings and memories of Harry away from him then Tom was nothing… Yes, Tom was nothing without H’s gifts. He was not even sure if he would be even here without H’s gifts all those years…

And here he was… His H he had admired, obsessed over, frantically trying to impress, the same H he had vowed to make him his… The same H who took care of everything about Tom with each gift now doesn’t care about him anymore.

Tom could feel the wetness in his cheeks and it surprised him that he, a soulless monster could cry…

Merlin…

It hurt so much…

It shouldn’t hurt like this… It shouldn’t feel like this… It isn’t supposed to hurt like this even more than how much it hurt when he first split his soul…

Suddenly, Tom felt like he was five years old, before he had received his first gift, he felt like the boy all so alone in the whole world, looking out the other children playing out of the orphanage with envy….

Tom now realized he had lost something precious, so precious even more than his soul, even more than magic, even more than immortality…

~~~~~~Tom woke up with a scream and turned around wildly, searching for his wand near the bedside table and cast lumos, looking around the room wildly.

Tom gasped and moved towards the bathroom nearby and emptied what little he ate for dinner, too distorted to use magic to conjure something where he sat and instead heaved against the basin.

Tom washed his mouth and looked at the mirror; his face was too pale and dampened with sweat.

Tom washed his face and stumbled ungracefully out of the room, feeling too claustrophobic and descended the stairs, moving out towards the garden outside.

Tom’s breathes slowly evened out when he gazed at the garden which was even more beautiful under the moonlight and kept his wand aside, sitting near the garden, not caring about the dirt and rubbed his face…

It was too real….

The nightmare was too real…

Tom felt every thought, felt every emotion of the older him in the nightmare…

Tom touched the plant close by, its thorn pierced his finger, making him relieved that the present was the reality and it was just a nightmare.

It felt too real and the raw emotions he felt gripped his heart and Tom could admit the emotion he was feeling right now…

Fear…

Tom was scared of that nightmare.

It scared him like nothing ever did…

The emptiness he felt as the older him looked at Harry…

The loneliness the older him didn’t want to admit it to himself…

Tom had never felt this lonely ever since he had first received his gift from H in the orphanage.

Tom was suddenly glad that he wasn’t a seer or anything, feeling relieved that it was nothing but a nightmare.

There was no way in hell that was ever going to happen. Yes, Tom and Harry were not on speaking terms and was more than just a simple argument. But he was quite confident that he would compromise with Harry before the end of his seventh year.

Tom pushed his sweaty hair away from his face and muttered a freshening charm and sighed looking at the garden.

It was almost the end of July and in few days; it would be Harry’s birthday. He didn’t know if he could speak to Harry at all as Harry had refused to even look at him at the end of the their sixth year, making him angered and miserable. Then holidays came, cutting off every connection he had with Harry. And Tom was too prideful to send an owl.

Damn it… After this nightmare he had, Tom had a strong urge to see Harry.

Merlin, his Harry marrying Malfoy...

Tom’s chaotic mind slowly calmed down the more he gazed at the garden he had recently planted.

As soon as he had come to the home Harry had gifted after he got off Hogwarts train, the house filled him even more with guilt.

Every little thing in the house increased Tom’s guilt.

And those words Harry had uttered refused to leave him alone.

~~~~I regret it Tom; I regret ever knowing you, ever sending you gifts as H. I regret being there for you all those years. I regret letting you in my heart, I regret everything~~~~

Tom shuddered, pulling his knees to his chest, ignoring the dirt and gazed at the garden.

When he reached home, he was called to Gringotts and the Goblins informed him that head of the Gaunt family Marvolo Gaunt had passed away and with Morfin in Azkaban for the fourth time, the ministry had stripped him the rights of an ordinary wizard as he could not own anything anymore for the repeated misuse of magic in front of muggles, he had inherited the old shack and the land. Tom could not claim the name Gaunt as it wasn’t approved by the last head of the family but as the remaining descendent, he was eligible to inherit the land as he had a Gringotts account on his own.

Tom had sold everything along the land to the Goblins as it was where Slytherin’s descendants stayed for centuries, getting enough galleons after arguing with Goblins for a bit, not caring a bit about where Morfin would stay if he got out of the Azkaban.

Tom would have usually never sold something like this, had been proud of his origins. But that place haunted him with the reminder of what his stupid mother had done and the temptation of what he would do if he visited that place one more time, like murder his muggle father or something.

So with that money he had from selling that land, Tom hired magical painters and a decent herbologist to help him in the gardening.

Like he wanted, Tom filled the house with a garden of red roses. The land was not suitable at first but with the help of the herbologist and magic, it took weeks to make the growth fast, accelerating it with spells and magical fertilizers. Tom didn’t think about much and spent a lot of money in this garden, for example hiring other herbologists who came after the previous one finished rising the plants, to ward the plants off from bugs and such and to keep the flowers fresh so he could gaze at it all the time. The garden was still not complete but it was enough to calm his chaotic mind.

Tom despite being angry at Harry could not help but long for him…

And this garden looked magnificent, surrounded by the red roses, the smell reminding him of Harry, making Tom feel somewhat closer to Harry.

Tom usually spent the days, lazing about in front of the garden or else under the trees that was already present near the end of the fence. Tom had already finished his homework for seventh year and spent some of the time in adding new wards around the house, to keep intruders or muggles away. And for lunch, he went to one of his follower’s house and for dinner, he went to the inn nearby. Tom didn’t know how to cook and he was reluctant to buy an elf.

It was unusual for Tom to laze around like a normal teenager but he lacked the usual enthusiasm to plan his future plans or about horcruxes.

Tom had never been confused with his emotions like this in his entire life.

Tom was angry at Harry at the same time angry at himself,

Tom was disappointed at Harry at the same time disappointed with himself,

Tom wanted to keep his pride at the same time he wanted to go and speak with Harry,

Tom was angry, sad, feeling guilty, disappointed all at the same.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. It’s as if he was torn into half, his one side with Harry and the other side with his dream of being immortal.

He had been so sure of himself that nothing would stop him from being immortal.

And the nightmare he just had…

His H, His Harry smiling at Malfoy and engaged to him, ignored Tom as if he was nothing more than dirt…

Would it really be the price he had to pay if he chose immortality over Harry?

 

~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

Harry pushed the plate away, not tempted by the beautiful looking delicious cake like he usually did. He could see from the corner of his eyes where Tally popped away with a worried face.

Harry knew that Tally was the one responsible for the plates with food appearing in front of him out of nowhere. Harry would usually eat it at least to not worry Tally but he was not in the mood today.

Harry turned away from the food table and leaned against his chair, looking at the clearing nearby where the bonded couple was dancing among other couples.

Sirius and Remus looked beautiful and they deserved it after all they went through to reach where they were now…

Sirius and Remus decided to bond today of the august month and now they were dancing happily among other couples.

Potter Manor was livelier than he had ever seen as the bonding took place in the Potter Manor’s garden where his father married his mother too, as were the previous generations of Potters. Many of Sirius’s friends and auror colleagues along with Regulus’s family were invited; the wards around the Manor were altered to let the guest in just for today.

Remus looked happier than ever in his bonding robes, a dazzling smile, radiating his happiness which affected everyone around especially Sirius as the whipped look he had was obvious to everyone.

And Remus had every reason to be happy as the corrupted ministry did a courageous thing by lifting the ban on the werewolves from getting a job. Remus was ecstatic with the news as the law passed two months before and now with the bonding, he looked to be the happiest anyone had ever seen him.

Harry smiled along with George who sat across him at the wide eyed, slightly gaping Fred Weasley whose date was giving him a scowl when Fred put the fork in his cheeks instead of mouth, dazed enough to not notice the food trailing his cheeks, staining his clothes and was too busy gaping at Alice as if he had never seen her.

Harry shook his head, turning away from the Weasley twins to look at his sister…

Alice Potter…

With her hair in a messy bun and a full length red gown, matching her hair colour, she looked beautiful.

She had always been beautiful before too but she looked like a women instead of a girl, a very different aura around her. She was grinning at Kingsley while dancing around among the couples. Hell, even Harry hadn’t realized that she was not a girl anymore. She looked so beautiful.

Harry was of course not surprised at all to see James and Alex lingering around and he knew that Kingsley was too old for Alice and a family friend so that was why he was allowed to dance with her. No one younger was allowed near Alice by their father. That must be why the younger people remained in the food area instead of daring to ask her to a dance, least getting pranked by the marauders.

Alice and Alex had stopped to do everything to look alike as they were going to separate carrier choices what with Alice joining the joke shop and Alex having to cut his hair as it kept getting in his face while playing Quidditch and his new manager of the Quidditch team asked him to cut his hair.

Alex and Alice were sad at first but they both decided that it wass high time that they face the choices they had chosen for themselves. So when Alex had gone to cut his hair, Alice who had a mix of messy black and red hair, coloured her hair completely red with the help of hair potions.

When Harry looked at Alice dancing with Kingsley, a deep longing rose in him, startling Harry with its intensity.

Because Alice looked so much like Lily Potter with her new red hair…

Harry sometimes forgot all about the absence of his mother with how much affection Siri, James and Remus shower them all with but at times like this, Harry felt a longing for his mother whom he had never known except in his visions.

Today was a very happy day and no matter how hard he tried, Harry could not truly feel happy.

His heart was torn into pieces, worrying about various things that he could not feel happy.

A large part of him was drowning with the thought of what Tom had been trying to do.

Harry knew that Tom was not a very good person and he understood that Tom had never known kindness in his life and that’s why he put up with Tom’s cruelty and tried to show him the goodness of life. Harry knew some wounds on Tom’s heart were too deep and would always remain but that didn’t mean you can take it out on innocent people.

But Harry never expected him to make a Horcrux, never had he expected Tom to be evil enough to murder some innocent person.

Tom, Tom meant so much to Harry. Harry knew him personally with the visions he had seen and known little Tom in the orphanage and picked every gift very carefully, putting all his thoughts into every gift he had gifted Tom after knowing that Tom was the one his gifts went to in the past.

And it hurt to hurt Tom…

Harry knew he had said some harsh words and could have avoided saying it but Harry wanted, so desperately wanted to hurt Tom for hurting Harry.

Harry alone knew how he had stayed near that girl’s bathroom, hoping beyond hope that Tom would not come as he had witnessed in his vision. And to see him there, with an ecstatic expression, Harry had lost it.

Horcrux had always been a touchy subject and it affected Harry more as he had witnessed how it ruined Salazar and Godric’s life. Witnessing at how much it altered Salazar had disturbed him and that one time he felt everything as Godric had left him an impression on the horcruxes. And he could not even imagine Tom willingly wanting to split his soul and go through changes like Salazar did.

No matter how much he tried, no matter how he wanted to ignore it, at the end of the day, Tom would be nothing but a cold blood murderer and that hurt Harry more than anything.

It was like helping someone a child to grow into an adult and just to see them turning evil after all your efforts…

Harry gritted his teeth and tried to distract him from the thoughts of Tom, looking around the table for anything that he could stomach without it making him sick. Harry knew that he was not eating well and that was the main reason Tally was worried about him.

Just when Harry decided to at least eat his favourite treacle tart, he spotted Draco. As soon as he got up from his chair, Draco soon turned away from him and went towards the opposite direction.

Harry scowled at his favourite treacle tart and moved away from the food table, losing what little appetite he had.

Draco was obviously avoiding him and it bothered Harry constantly. Draco was the very first friend Harry made, granted he was his only friend but he was the best friend he always dreamt of. Draco never questioned Harry even when Harry disappeared suddenly if he could not keep the visions at bay. Draco sneaked food whenever Harry fainted in his fourth year because of his lack of control over his visions despite being scolded by Madam Pomfrey.

Draco did all sort of crazy things with him without questions. Hell, Draco scrubbed the cauldrons for getting in an argument with Professor Snape for treating Harry unfairly in their fourth year. And he had countless detentions for hexing everyone left and right for teasing Harry. To Harry, it was nothing new as he always kept his distance with his housemates and their house did have their own bullies just like other houses. Harry helped Luna if someone bullied her but ignored if someone taunted or said hurtful things about him but Draco never tolerated even a word against Harry. It never bothered Harry of what others said about him as he never wanted to get close to anyone but Draco never tolerated it despite Harry advising him to ignore them.

That was one of the reasons he spent his free time mostly in Gryffindor tower with his siblings and Draco, else Draco would curse everyone in Harry’s house.

Draco was an unofficial member of protect Harry Potter Squad with Sirius as its leader. Merlin, if they had their way, Harry would be wrapped in cotton and kept in a protected castle.

Draco had been the one who relentlessly tried to befriend him from Harry’s first year while everyone else gave up or ignored him. Draco was sort of stuck to him throughout everything.

And Harry bit his lip knowing he was the reason Draco was avoiding him…

Harry had sort of neglected and ignored Draco while he was busy spending his time with Tom last year. Harry hadn’t even realized he was hurting Draco. And now he was having the taste of it as Draco was ignoring him like he did.

Harry now looked at a scowling Alice who was angry at James and Alex for being so overprotective.

His family was sort of drifting apart too for Alice and Alex had moved out of the Manor after their graduation. Harry was not faulting them but it sort of depressed him as they all grew up together ever since he was a child.

Harry looked away from Alice when he heard a familiar bark like laughter. Sirius looked happy while twirling a happy Remus pretending to glare at Sirius…

Soon… Sirius would have his own family and own child…

Harry wouldn’t be his priority anymore…

Harry’s lips trembled and he moved away from the food table, leaving the garden. Harry didn’t want anyone to see him, not wanting to ruin anyone’s happiness, he walked aimlessly.

Shit…

He was not a child for Merlin’s sake…

He was not some needy child to get emotional over all this…

Maybe he had never got over his childhood when he had no one that it was affecting him…

It felt like everyone was abandoning him…

It felt like everything was falling apart…

Harry looked around to notice that he had walked to the Quidditch pitch in their backyard and he felt so small, standing near the hoop, thankful that the grass under his feet was dry…

He stood next to the hoop, gazing at the sky before he slumped against the hoop and pulled his knees, hugging himself as if he let go, he would fall apart.

He felt vulnerable like never before…

No, he felt this way before too. He had just forgotten it…

All of a sudden he felt like he was a five year old again when he felt no one in the world loved him, watching James adoring the twins when they pulled a prank on the portraits.

Too depressed he was that he failed to notice the hands pulling him in a tight hug. Harry was startled to find him being enveloped with warmth.

“Father…”

Harry whispered against his father’s chest and buried his face even more in his father’s embrace and stayed like that when his father slowly caressed his hair in a soothing manner.

No, he had been wrong…

He was not that kid anymore…

His father’s arms around him were proof enough and he reluctantly let go of his father when his legs hurt. Harry relaxed into a new position while his father sat near him, watching the sun set with an arm around Harry’s shoulder.

Harry leaned against his father, resting his head against James’s shoulder.

“You know, Sirius was a depressing mess when I got married, got drunk and bawled his eyes out and told anyone who listened about how his brother Prongs is leaving him all alone for a girl in a very dramatic way.”

Harry smiled, some of his tension leaving him as he could clearly picture it and he pitied his mother for having to put with the package of marauders that came along with his father.

“And what happened..?”

“Remus had to drag him away physically before Lily loses her cool by hexing him. It was really funny till your mother turned her glare to me for laughing. Sirius was being insecure, hiding it with dramas and pranks. He just didn’t have a great childhood and he gets insecure sometimes. But after marriage, I talked with him that he is still my best friend and he is always welcome at Potters. And before you know Lily and Sirius became best friends, teaming up against me most of the times and Lily even helped Sirius to prank me one time. Can you believe that?”

Harry chuckled at the mental image as he could very well imagine his mother getting back at his father with the help of Sirius.

“Alice, she looks so like mother, doesn’t she?”

Harry asked his father and was surprised when his father moved away from him, pulling his arm away to look at Harry.

“Yes, but not more than you Harry.”

Harry looked at James confusingly, making James smile at him fondly.

“Harry, you have your mother’s eyes and her kindness, also the ability to look at goodness in everyone. She was friends with Snape you know, she remained friends with him even though some of her friends didn’t like her being with a Slytherin. She was stubborn and amazing you know. And I see her in you too not just in the twins. You’re a very wonderful person Harry. Never doubt that.”

It felt overwhelming to hear it from his father. James had at one time, blamed him for his mother’s death. And to hear it from his father that he had some of her characters, it soothed something in him he hadn’t known it being there.

Harry got up along with his father, dusting the dirt off his robe and smiled at his father. It felt good to not fake a smile after weeks of doing that.

“Come here…”

Harry shook his head fondly when his father’s spread his arms in air, inviting him to a hug. Harry hugged him tightly, showing his gratitude silently. He had always been needy and so touchy feely which To-Riddle hated it whenever he was like that with others. But Harry as a child had starved for affection that he could not help but like the closeness and affection whenever he got.

“I love you son… Never doubt that.”

Harry nodded his head against his father’s chest when James continued,

“And I will never allow you to move out of Potter Manor. I allowed the twins as they were quite independent and never listen to me anyway but I am not letting you go. Hear that, if you have any plans like that after graduation, forget it, okay? You’re too innocent. What if someone broke into your flat or something, wanting to steal all your cuteness?”

Merlin, here we go again… Just when he thought his father and him were having a serious conversation…

“I have no plans to move out of Potter Manor anyway father”

Harry pulled away from his father to see him having a relieved look on his face.

“Come on Harry, let’s go before your godfather decided to leave the party thinking his precious godson has gone missing.”

Harry shuddered and started walking along with James knowing that Sirius would do just that.

For some reason, Sirius including Remus, James, Alex and Alice refuse to believe he was now legally off age after all he had celebrated his coming off age birthday already.

His father had a talk with him on the July, letting him know that he was already seventeen by the time previous year’s Halloween passed. Lily and James both decided to not celebrate his birthday on her death day, Halloween. As per pureblood tradition if the mother of the child died due to child’s birth, the relatives would use a ritual to choose another day to celebrate the child’s birthday till the age of seventeen so that child won’t suffer any bad luck from the spirits of the death.

His father had let him know that few days before, solving the questions Harry had when he was a child as of why his birthday was different from his mother’s death day but he assumed his mother had passed away after some weeks from his birth.

Harry would be eighteen in few weeks and his father had told him that it was up to his decision from now on to celebrate his birthday on Halloween but Harry declined as he didn’t want to celebrate it on his mother’s death day.

His father slung an arm around Harry’s shoulder with a mischievous glint in his eyes, cutting him off his wandering thoughts,

“Also, everything is going too smoothly for my taste. What do you say we go and prank Padfoot and Moony?”

When Harry nodded, knowing that he has no other choice to join his father in this, his father jumped in excitement while muttering, “Payback time Padfoot for the drama you created in my marriage. Merlin, I waited for years to prank you back and that too with the help of your precious godson.” His father let out what seemed to be an evil laugh, making Harry to smile at his antics.

With every step he took along with his father, he felt somehow lighter…

His family would always be with him and the relieved look Sirius had when he entered the ceremony area alongside his father only confirmed that more.

 

~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

Draco’s hands ached and he turned his head a little to glare at Blaise who was snickering in the background. Some Slytherins his housemates were, enjoying his misery.

But Draco deserved it, he deserved this and more.

Draco’s hands trembled when another book was added to the weight of books he was already carrying. And the snickering turned into laughter in the background. When he went to his common room after this, he would curse them left and right.

Draco didn’t know how could any student could study this many books when it was just barely the end of the September, the start of their seventh year.

Draco’s legs wobbled a little when another book was added. Every book weighed the combined weight of six normal sized books and he was carrying seven of them already before one was added.

This was it…

This was the day Draco Malfoy would be buried dead under the weight of books…

That would go down in Hogwarts history…

And his tormentor walked around the shelves again, not even glancing back at him and went back to the shelf they had been standing before, just to make Draco suffer more.

Draco could feel the books in his hands were going to fall if one more was added.

“Oh, I think I had read some of this already.”

Draco almost groaned, almost when he followed the person in front of him blindly to return the books back to the shelves.

“Oh no, this is not the correct shelf”

Merlin, he wondered why Madam Pince wasn’t saying anything about the snickering. And then remembered that the one student Madam Pince was fond of was the one taking pleasure in his suffering.

Well, you might ask why Draco was carrying all these books when he could make them float behind him or make them weightless but since this was his punishment from his Master, he had to endure it anyway and followed the figure in front of him a little blindly with the pile of book in his hands.

“Not this shelf too, it was the first one”

Draco did groan aloud this time and regretted it immediately when the figure in front of him stopped and asked,

“Did I hear something from you Slave?”

“Nothing Master”

Giggles erupted in the background and to his mortification he could hear the snapping sound of camera and whispers of wanting a copy of the photo taken.

Has the world come to an end? A Malfoy becoming a slave? And calling someone Master and that too in front of other people?

It all happened a week before, Harry stormed into his room in the Slytherin house and Draco didn’t even had any time to wonder how Harry passed through the entrance of Slytherin common room because the next blink of his eyes, Harry had punched him in the chest, not powerful enough yet the intention was to hurt him.

Draco was too bewildered when Harry leaned his head against Draco’s shoulder and started crying silently.

Draco should have known that Harry too was a human and not an angel of pureness. It was Draco’s fault too for avoiding Harry. Draco needed some time to deal with his unrequited love for Harry. And he was also confused with Alex’s sudden confession which left him in shock even now.

Draco had plenty of time to deal with his feelings. Honestly, Draco knew from the start that he had no chance and he was the one who decided to remain as a friend. Draco had always dealt with the pain of dealing with his love for Harry. But seeing Harry with someone else hurt Draco and even more than that Harry has been hiding it from him for Merlin knows how long.

Being away from Harry hurt him less and Draco stayed away from Harry.

But looking at Harry crying on his shoulder made him realize how stupid and selfish he had been. Harry had a break down that day in his room, spilling all his worries about how he had been stressed with feeling alone and also somewhat about his relationship with Riddle.

Harry had sniffled, looking at him with those green eyes that he had fallen for as a child and said,

“You're my only friend Draco…”

And those words were what pushed him to realize how childish he had been.

Draco was hurt over the fact Harry loved someone else but at the same time, he was also hurt assuming that he was not someone important to Harry anymore.

How could he had forgotten that Draco was as important as Riddle but in a different way?

How could he have forgotten all those times they secretly sneaked out in night time under Harry’s invisibility cloak to prank the students who said mean things to them in day time?

How could he have forgotten that Harry had never let anyone close or befriend him except Draco?

How could he have forgotten that Harry was the one who made him want to become a better person?

How could Draco let things become like this because of his love?

How could he not see what was important till now?

Harry might not love him the way he loved Riddle but he loved Draco nonetheless. He should have known that Harry was not doing well.

Draco knew Harry might be stressed out about James going on important mission despite switching to do a desk job and as Sirius too had gone on honeymoon with Remus and with Alice and Alex gone to their jobs, he must be lonely. It might not mean anything to others but Harry was a family person and he doesn’t even interact with anyone other than his family so he must be pretty lonely.

And from what he got from Harry’s ramblings, it seemed he was not speaking with Riddle. To top it all, Draco, the only person Harry could lean on had avoided him.

Draco wanted to curse himself looking at Harry’s green eyes which he had always wanted to shine with happiness was now filled with tears.

“I will never forgive you for this Draco…”

With that Harry stormed off from his room, leaving him stunned. Draco should have gone after him but knew that if he had gone that time, he would be under the mercy of Harry’s wand. Harry was usually calm but when angered, he would be merciless.

Draco should not have let his romantic feelings ruin his friendship with his Harry. Draco always kept it to himself, not wanting to ruin their friendship but look at what he had done thoughtlessly.

Because Draco loved Harry, all of him with his heart and if Harry could not return his love romantically then he was fine with their friendship. His love for Harry wasn’t that selfish that he could hurt him like this.

If it were not for Harry, Merlin he could have become a mini Lucius Malfoy. He loved his father dearly but they had their differences.

And the next day Draco went to Harry to apologize only to be ignored and that made him feel even guiltier while being at the receiving end of Harry’s avoiding. How Harry must have felt all those months of him avoiding him?

Draco had persisted though and had done everything so that Harry could forgive him for four days and Harry had finally, finally told him that he would consider Draco’s apology on one condition as Draco hadn’t completely told Harry about why he was avoiding Harry.

And that was what he was going through…

His punishment…

Harry wanted Draco to be his slave whenever he so wished and must do all the chores Draco was assigned to without the help of magic…

Here he was two days after the start of his punishment, carrying the books Harry might want to read.

Of course, the rumours spread around Hogwarts from Draco and Harry involved in a sexy bonding kink to how the Malfoy family sold Draco to Potter’s youngest heir because of some debt.

And the traitor friends of his followed him to library to relish in his suffering.

Draco massaged his hands when the last book was taken from his hands and went towards the shelf.

Here he was on Sunday, following Harry around like a Slave even though that was what the fact was but looking at Harry’s lips pressing together so as to not laugh at his misery was so worth it.

Draco might have to give up on his romantic feelings for Harry someday on the future and he knew he would be able to move on from those feelings one day but Draco could never give up his love for Harry and would always be friends with him.

Harry moved towards the next shelf with an order of,

“Follow me slave”

Draco shook his head and with a final glare towards Blaise and group, he followed Harry.

Draco breathed in relief finding that Harry had now took the book for Charms assignment instead of choosing some random heavy book just to make Draco suffer.

Harry turned towards him with a smile,

“You know Dragon, I almost forgave you seeing you suffering like this.”

Draco hugged Harry while Harry stood still because Harry forgiving him was what he had been aiming for while enduring all these. Draco let go of Harry and grabbed his shoulder, looking in Harry’s eyes,

“I swear Harry I will never ever do anything like that ever again.”

Harry smiled at him and he allowed Draco to push a strand of hair from Harry’s face and Draco almost cried in relief, being friendly with Harry again and being like this meant a lot to him now that he realized what he had been missing. He missed Harry, Merlin, he missed moments like this.

Harry patted his shoulder but soon his smile turned into an evil, evil smirk,

“I said almost forgave you Slave. Now go and get me something to eat while I get this book from library.”

Draco groaned at the fact that his punishment still hasn’t ended but he knew it was just a matter of time that Harry would forgive him. In fact Harry had already forgiven him and was only doing all this to get back at him for avoiding Harry.

When Malfoy moved towards his friends to stop them from snickering at his misery, Tom grabbed Harry’s hands to turn him around, just so Harry wouldn’t gaze at Malfoy fondly like that.

Tom hated this…

He absolutely hated Harry looking at Malfoy fondly….

And hated that pet name Dragon… Fucking Hell, he hated the entire dragon species because of that pet name…

It irritated him to no end seeing how they were getting closer more and more the days went by.

And with that nightmare still fresh in his mind, Tom could see them becoming like the way he witnessed in the nightmare.

Tom could see it, see it in the way they were becoming close with each other like they were attracted towards each other like magnet that they couldn’t help but get close to each other.

Even when Harry and Tom were together, Tom had been jealous of Malfoy because somehow he knew that Harry was very relaxed and happy in the presence of Malfoy and Malfoy knew and understood Harry on a level that Tom could not as they both grew up together in wizarding world.

With the ever present jealousy blinding him, along with the fact that Harry and Tom were not on speaking terms, made something dark rise inside him whenever he looked at them.

And now that those green eyes widened at the sight of Tom as if he had never been caught off guard changed into a glare when Harry realized it was Tom who had grabbed his hand.

With a surprising strength, Harry shook off Tom’s hold on his hand and with a glare that filled Tom’s entire being with a certain foreboding,

“Riddle, don’t touch me like that again or I will hex you with a painful curse next time.”

Riddle?

After waiting for months to hear something from Harry, these were the words directed at him.

Tom flinched away as he had been slapped and Harry moved away from the shelf, leaving the book he had taken and moved towards Malfoy who was arguing with his friends, grabbed Malfoy’s arms and exited the library all the while Malfoy followed Harry with a happy expression without even asking where Harry was dragging him to.

Tom’s insides boiled with uncontrolled rage and jealousy that he could feel himself tremble.

Harry could touch Malfoy yet Tom wasn’t allowed?

Harry could forgive whatever Malfoy did but Tom was unforgiveable?

Tom stormed off the library as he felt the rage in him boil that he could not think straight. Even amidst the rage, Tom could tell that he felt betrayed and that too by H of all people.

*******

Tom walked in a dark corridor, his little lumos spell helping him to not bump on anything. He ignored the portraits mutters in irritation. He knew this was well past curfew and he was not on a patrolling duty either but Tom couldn’t sleep.

He couldn’t do a lot of things nowadays anyway. Sleeping was just one of them. Like he couldn’t concentrate on classes or he couldn’t eat properly or the fact he couldn’t even muster up a fake smile.

He felt like a living corpse…

The month of October had brought nothing but misery and irritation in Tom’s life.

If it wasn’t miserable then witnessing Malfoy and Harry growing close together made him feel like being under Crucio. Tom didn’t know what to do anymore. He could have cursed Malfoy like he was tempted to if only he didn’t know that it would anger Harry more.

He had never been this confused in his life for he was always sure about what he wanted. Tom hadn’t touched the book about Horcruxes ever since the fight he had with Harry.

If he wanted to be with Harry in future, he has to give up on his horcruxes and if he wanted to live up his dream of ruling, he has to give up on Harry as he would never accept Tom’s ways.

Tom was torn…

And to depress him more, the rumours that spread around his house like fire about how Malfoy and Harry involved in some sort of kinky role play sex.

Tom for the first time in his life hated being in Hogwarts…

He wanted to curse everyone who spoke like that involving Harry and Malfoy. He could’ve handed detention to all of them if only he didn’t have to write details about the reasons he gave detention as a report to the headmaster.

Tom who hadn’t even saw Harry properly for more than few seconds was may be or probably involved with Malfoy and that hurt above all else. It shouldn’t hurt this much, it shouldn’t have hurt this much hearing Harry being with someone else.

Tom had chosen the horcruxes over Harry, then he should be happy with it right? Then why wasn’t he happy?

Why was he going to the classroom every night where H had healed him for the first time making Tom aware of how H was in Hogwarts?

Why did his eyes always look around wherever Tom was to just catch a single glimpse of Harry?

Why can’t he let go of these painful feelings and mind numbing jealousy?

Tom entered the room, cast a simple warding spell after locking the door and slumped against it, closing his eyes.

This was the room where H had healed him when he was injured after the duel. It had some sort of sentimental value to Tom.

He felt like he could breathe a little easily in this room yet when he left the room, his heart would feel heavier than before.

Why did Harry affect him so much?

When Tom opened his eyes and lit the room with a spell only to see a mirror in the corner of the room.

Tom has been visiting this room daily for over the past two weeks and he had never seen anything in this empty room till now.

The cloth lay on the floor in a heap beside the mirror as if someone had pulled it.

Tom looked at the large, ornate mirror curiously and his eyes widened at the realization.

The Mirror of Erised….

Tom had researched over various subjects other than what they taught at Hogwarts and he had been very interested in the magical artefacts and in fact reading various books about magical artefacts what led him to Horcrux even before he read it in the books from the chamber.

Tom had even sneered at people going mad while gazing at the mirror for days without caring about anything when he read about this mirror. Tom wouldn’t have given another glance at the mirror but now, with his confused state of mind, Tom couldn’t help but took slow steps towards that magical mirror.

What did he desire most?

What would the mirror show him?

Tom stood in front of the mirror and touched the glass of the mirror, glancing directly into it. At first, all Tom could see was his reflection. He was tall, handsome, and his Head Boy badge shone beneath the light from the spell he had cast.

Then a blurry outline appeared at his side. Tom could feel nervousness rising in him as, if it revealed what he feared then there would be no going back. Tom tried to focus on it through his nervousness and finally, it snapped into sharp clarity. It felt as if he was looking through a window, and that he stood on the other side of it with Harry.

There his reflection stood with Harry beside him and Tom could not take his eyes away from it. He now understood why people went mad while gazing at this mirror. He could look at Harry forever as the real Harry avoided him like plague.

Harry turned to face Tom's reflection without any hate or anger like he did in reality. Harry stood on his tiptoes and kissed Tom’s reflection and Tom's reflection circled Harry’s waist to pull him closer. When the passionate kiss ceased, Tom's reflection grinned happily with an expression Tom had never seen himself experiencing ever in his life and Harry’s eyes were alight with laughter and contentment.

When Tom looked closely he could see that there were people behind Tom and Harry.

And Tom took a step back from the reflection in shock…

He knew what this meant…

He not only wanted Harry…

But a family with him as he recognized Harry’s father in the reflection…

It left him speechless...

Tom at first thought he would see himself as a ruler of the world or someone powerful in the reflection, afraid that he would have to give up on Harry and what the mirror showed him left him stunned and Tom scrambled away from the mirror in shock only to collide with something..

Tom turned around in a hurry to see that it was just an old wardrobe.

But soon the wardrobe gave a sudden wobble, startling Tom.

What was it now?

The wardrobe wobbled more violently, making Tom realize that there was a boggart inside.

Tom was very suspicious as of who would want to make him face what his heart desired the most and what he feared the most. Someone meddlesome *cough* Dumbledore *cough* must have noted his visits to this room and had kept it here for what reason he didn’t know.

But Tom felt already torn enough of what he had seen in the mirror, he was not ready to face what his greatest fear was now of all time. He had a very strong suspicion that the boggart won’t turn into his dead body like it did in his fourth year.

But fate seemed to have other ideas as just when he was about to get the hell out of here, the wardrobe burst open without Tom doing anything and he took a step back when an older him appeared looking all menacing and powerful just like he wanted to be.

Tom was confused…

Why would this be his greatest fear? Tom looked at his older self with all those items he wanted to make as a horcrux was on him. And it looked so familiar as if he had seen his older self with the same expression already.

And then it dawned on him, the nightmare he had that day…

He now understood that Tom was immortal yet there was no Harry beside him and the boggart seemed to be shifting again…

Tom opened his mouth to spell Riddikulus but his voice died away when the boggart shifted again with a crack and Harry stood in front of him with a look that made Tom flinch.

Despite the situation Tom’s hands rose a little as if to touch Harry and he could not take his eyes off him. Tom hadn’t seen Harry after that library incident and he wanted to look at him even if it was a boggart,

“Tom, Tom…. Tom… My sweet Tom”

Harry’s voice was full of sarcasm and he didn’t want to see this anymore. His real Harry had been cruel enough to him but this was… this was on another level.

“So, why didn’t you continue making Horcrux Tom? It is fine as long as anyone can be murdered, right? It doesn’t have to be Myrtle, right? Why not kill me and make your first Horcrux? It will be quite meaningful too for you by sacrificing H, who was there for you throughout the years?”

Tom stumbled back as if slapped and was collided with the door and stared wide eyed at Harry who looked unforgiveable just like the real Harry,

~~~~Tom was five and staring at the playing children outside with barely concealed longing when his first ever gift arrived, the clothes that had kept him warm for many years had been gifted. Addressed only as from H and that made him feel happy for the first time ever since he could remember well~~~~

Tom clenched his fingers to stop the trembling and replied back even though he knew that was a boggart and useless but he could not help it,

“How? How could I even think like that Harry?”

“Why not Tom? Does it matter to you whether it is me or anyone? As long as you have your immortality it is fine, right? What more can you want?”

~~~~~Tom was six and waiting with worry whether he would be gifted by Santa again or did the Santa too thought of him as a freak? But his childish worries were erased from him for the gift of pillows and blanket arrived. For the first time, a sense of relief in his past self, feeling that someone was out there for him and he was not alone~~~

Tom tried to listen to what boggart Harry was saying, but his mind was being assaulted by the past memories refused to make it possible to listen what the boggart was saying to him.

~~~~~Tom was seven and for the first time very afraid of dying of some disease which the staffs didn’t care enough about him to cure. While everyone in the orphanage celebrated that he was going to die soon, the gifts of scarves, shoes and socks along with a vaccine came. The first person who taught him to trust and trust Tom did about H that he drank that bottle which was sent by an unknown person. The vaccine was not the only thing that saved him from that day. He was gifted a plush toy every child’s right which helped him to be sane even now~~~~

Tom didn’t know why this was happening. He was being overwhelmed with his memories of past. He could not control this. He tried to close his eyes to stop the panic rising in him but the boggart Harry was scolding him and he could not look away even if he wanted to,

“I thought you were a better person Tom; I thought you will learn to be a better person. But you shattered every hope I had for you”

~~~~Tom was eight and was restricted from going to school, not allowed education he valued so much for. The only thing he could shine and also a tool to a better future. Then H sent him number of books from fairytale books to a dictionary. H had given him a new path, to sharpen his mind with knowledge, a hope~~~~

The first person to give him hope and here H was even in a boggart form, saying that Tom had destroyed all hopes of him. The boggart continued on, not aware the turmoil and panic going inside him.

It felt real…

Too real…

Just like the nightmare he had…

“Tom, I don’t know how to feel that you didn’t even care about taking an innocents life away for your means? I wanted; I so wanted to believe in you Tom when you said that you will be mine and I will be yours. But was this how you’re going to keep your word? Do you want me to belong to a murderer?”

~~~~Tom was nine and for the first time was trying to suppress the panic attack rising in him because of how disgusting it felt to be touched but those filthy hands all over him. He was stared at, touched, leered and left vulnerable with no means to protect him when even his own secret power he treasured failed him. The gift came in the form of a pendant to protect him from those disgusting touches which he had never took off from his neck even now. The first time someone protected him in every way, making him feel possessive of H like never before. He wanted H to belong to him completely by whatever means necessary~~~~~

Tom couldn’t distinguish between what was real and what was the boggart anyway. His mind couldn’t help but think of the one in front of him as real Harry.

Here H was in front of him, saying that he was ashamed at the thought of belonging to Tom, a murderer. Yes, Tom was nothing but a murderer in Harry’s eyes.

“I wanted to give you a chance despite knowing how cruel you were to some students. I tried to accept you completely but here I am. The trust I had in you… Are you listening? Do you even care anymore of what I think about you? If you had, you wouldn’t have done this Tom.”

~~~~~Tom was ten and for the first time cared about what H thought of him. So he had stopped stealing and from that day he had never stole anything till now. As a reward, the gifts of all sort of pastries from variety of chocolates to cupcake was given to him by H. Tom for the first time cried over something silly as food but it meant so much more to him of what H thought of him. Tom, for the first time wanted to be someone better for H~~~~

Tom bit his lip, feeling like a child all over again and tried to raise his occlumency shield but it failed to stop the onslaught of memories now of all time when the boggart Harry was speaking to him about something.

~~~~~Tom was eleven with the newfound knowledge of magic, had his priorities straightened that as of to study well and Find H. He was saved from the embarrassing second-handed robes and trunks by H. H had saved him from the smallest of things~~~~

Tom didn’t know when his priorities changed. He had always from his childhood, tried to be a better person in H’s eyes. But here he was, wanting to murder someone and was angry at H for not understanding it.

~~~~Tom was twelve and he was healed of the wounds he had gained from the duelling that time and was even gifted with healing kit on that Christmas. H urged him to learn healing by sending him a healing book. It was the first time Tom came to a shocking realization of a simple thing that magic was not only used to be destructive but can also be used for healing. And he turned thirteen in few days. And for the first time in his life, someone was glad he was born and had sent him a handmade cake which was still his favourite no matter what tasty food he had tasted till now.~~~~

Tom shuddered against the door, feeling all over again like a vulnerable boy. His occlumency failed him now of all times.

“What are you doing Tom? Changing your name? Lord Voldemort? Since when did you feel not comfortable with your own name? Why do you want to gain the approval of purebloods and your Slytherin housemates who all bullied you, belittled you for your blood? Why do you care about them now?”

~~~~~It was Harry who gave him a potion to Tom so that he could find his blood status and when Tom was fifteen, Harry gave him the key to his own vault, giving him an equal standing with all those purebloods around him~~~~

Since when did blood and status matter more than H?

Since when did he think about making a life on his own when his entire life belonged to H?

~~~~It was Harry who had given him a home as a gift before he turned seventeen. The best gift anyone could offer him and had blown his mind with how much Harry thought of him before giving him anything. The house he cherished more than anything. Tom had never belonged anywhere from his childhood in the orphanage to the Slytherin house yet it was Harry who gave him a home, a place Tom could belong~~~~

“I regret meeting you Tom… I regret ever sending a gift to you”

The same words… It squeezed Tom’s heart with pain beyond imagination.

Tom had thrown away every act of kindness Harry had shown him by doing something Harry absolutely hated. Tom should have given up on anything if it meant it hurt Harry. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have been so blind?

“Do you think I will ever forgive you after this? You're a monster Tom.. Nothing but a monster... If I had known you're such a monster, I would’ve chosen Dragon even before..”

Tom could feel his magic rising in him as waves hearing the boggarts words and he could feel his legs wobble, his magic lashed out at the boggart, banishing it to the wardrobe and he tore open the door in a hurry and ran from the room, not caring about anyone catching him.

His greatest fear…

His greatest fear had always been his death…

When had it changed? How didn’t he realize it at all?

His greatest fear was… Harry choosing someone else other than him and calling Tom a monster just like every adult in his life called him even when he was a child…

And Tom had done nothing but hurt Harry. He probably deserved this.

Yes, Tom wanted immortality and wanted to create a horcrux but the horcrux paled in comparison to his Harry.

He owed his very being to H. How could he even for a moment chose Horcrux over H, the one person who had seen him as a human?

How could he?

He stumbled a little when he brushed past someone in his hurry and looked up to see that it was the headmaster who steadied him,

“Don’t lose your way my boy.”

The headmaster’s eyes were kind even though the words felt like advice to something else but he didn’t care about anything right now, he needed somewhere alone and with that he absentmindedly nodded his head and ran towards his head boy room.

Tom muttered the password and went inside hurriedly as tears trailed his cheeks.

Tom slumped on the floor, his legs giving in halfway before he reached towards the bed…

With that something in him broke and the great Tom Morvolo Riddle fell apart….

 

~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

Tom’s hands trembled with fear. A fear unlike anything he had ever felt.

The starting of November had never been this miserable even when he was a child in the orphanage. Because he had never felt like this, fear and horror of losing someone, he had never experienced this feeling.

This was new for Tom who had never cared about anyone else other than him, who always prioritised his own wishes was afraid of this new feeling…

The feeling of losing Harry…

Tom had for weeks, tried to speak with Harry, apologize to him and even if Harry didn’t give him a chance anymore, he at least wanted Harry to speak with him.

But Harry refused to even glance at him and the letters he sent via owls were being returned without opening. Tom had tried all sorts of tactics from ambushing him after class or to get in their common room but he could never catch Harry as he was always steps ahead of Tom in avoiding him. And there was this one time Tom had caught him after the end of runes class and apologized but Harry refused to listen and with a glare that went straight to Tom’s heart, he departed.

Ever since his episode with that boggart, he was not himself…

And also the journal he found in the chamber, not much of a journal but notes of Salazar Slytherin after making a horcrux terrified him enough to leave him shaken. He didn’t want to become a mindless man as Tom treasured his brains more than anything. His smartness alone helped him survive the orphanage and he could ot trade his sanity. His pride was shattered and left him with an empty feeling.

Tom Riddle was not himself and he knew that some of his classmates were wondering about the complete turn in his character as he was barely holding himself, not taking care of himself and unable to sleep for weeks. The dark circles were more than a clue to his fellow housemates that he was not well and if it weren’t for Avery who was making sure he had eaten and sometimes guided him towards his room so as to sleep.

Avery forced Tom to sleep in the dorm and in the room where Nott and Avery stayed as it was obvious he was suffering. Tom would have refused if he was in a right mind.

Nightmares plagued his nights…

The nightmare he had in his summer vacation was still very clear in his mind.

And now he was living that nightmare, watching Harry slowly drifting away from Tom. It pained him more than anything did.

Tom had of course given up on horcruxes slowly, reluctantly but he had given up on the idea of it. As the thought immortality still lured him in but it didn’t hold a candle at the idea of living in a world where Harry wasn’t in it.

Tom knew he could live even without horcruxes…

But he knew that living without Harry, his H was impossible…

He knew, of course Tom knew that just by giving up on horcruxes didn’t make him a saint in Harry’s eyes. In Harry’s eyes… Tom didn’t even want to imagine of how Harry viewed him as…

A murderer…?

No, No, he wasn’t a murderer… And he could not just give up on Harry like this no matter how many times he had to try and convince Harry that he would not give up on Harry for anything from now on. He has to properly apologize to him.

Tom cleared his throat and gritted his teeth and stood up from the Slytherin table, startling his fellow housemates. He could see most of the students in the great hall staring at him as he got up suddenly in the midst of dinner.

Tom doubted his own plan as it was too Gryffindor and brash.

It was not a much of a plan. He knew that the only way Harry wouldn’t avoid him was confront in the midst of great hall where he could not run away and Tom would swallow his pride if he has to kneel in front of everyone just so his Harry could listen.

He had waited for the day Harry would attend his meals as for the past few days Harry had skipped the one combined class with Slytherin, Ancient Runes as if he knew Tom would confront him in front of the whole class if necessary.

Tom liked control and power that he would never do anything this dramatic and humiliating but if it gave at least a small chance of Harry listening to him, he would take it. Let everything else be damned.

Just when Tom neared the Ravenclaw table, he could see Harry getting up from there and he was ready to call out Harry and kneel to apologize if it would stop Harry but was too stunned when Harry moved towards him, grabbing his hand, muttering,

“Let’s talk somewhere else.”

As if he knew what Tom had planned? Of course, this was Harry and he understood Tom on another level without Tom saying anything.

But Tom was reluctant, what if Harry disappeared just as soon they moved away from the great hall but Harry squeezed Tom’s hand in what could be presumed as reassurance.

“Come on Tom.”

With that Harry let go of his hand and moved towards the door.

Tom, not Riddle. Harry had called him Tom and it was enough to make him follow Harry, ignoring the students chatter.

If this too would have failed, Tom was ready to set a camp out of Ravenclaw tower. His image would have been damaged but he was desperate enough to do that. And thankfully, Harry was kind to him even now.

Harry turned towards him once they reached the corridor outside the great hall,

“Can we talk somewhere private Tom?”

Tom was taken aback and hesitantly answered,

“Yeah, there is my headboy room.”

“Lead the way then”

Tom’s legs started shaking and he moved towards his room, hoping that his legs won’t give out.

Because after knowing what he was going to do to Myrtle, he didn’t think Harry would ever want to be with him alone and the trust Harry had on him still staggered him speechless that he silently walked towards his room.

Tom muttered the password and moved inside, turning to see Harry had entered and the door closed with a thud, making Tom almost wince with how it sounded in the awkward silence around them.

Tom would have gasped if he had the energy because of how Harry looked. Some may think Harry was cruel to him in the past few weeks Tom had tried to speak with Harry even though Tom was at fault. But one close look at Harry told the story on other side.

Harry too looked worn out, dark circles even more visible with his pale skin, green eyes dull and the way he stood screamed that he would fall apart any minute.

It was proof that Harry got hurt with how much he hurt Tom. And if it didn’t squeeze his already aching heart…

Tom took a step towards him, rising his hand automatically to Harry’s cheeks but Harry flinched away from him as if Tom would hurt him again, freezing Tom’s movements with one action.

And Tom had sudden realization that Harry had the same problem as him. Tom thought he was the only one whom was forced to choose between Horcruxes and Harry but he could see clearly that how Harry who in nature a very pure hearted person he had ever seen in his life was forced to choose between Tom and his morals.

Tom’s legs finally gave out, startling Harry who looked down at his shaking form on the ground.

“Harry… Harry… I am sorry. I am so sorry. How could I… How could I possibly do this to us…?”

Tom heaved for breathes, feeling his chest constricted, making him unable to form sentences coherently. He had been barely holding himself for the past few days and it was no wonder his mask shattered in the presence of Harry. His arrogance and pride all gone leaving him with nothing but guilt. He was nothing but Tom now, the boy Harry used to send gifts.

Tom hugged his own body, trying to concentrate on what he wanted to say to Harry as he got the chance he had been waiting for to explain himself after trying for weeks.

Tom took comfort in the presence of Harry when Harry sat in front of him on the ground instead of running away from this room.

“You were right Harry. I… I shouldn’t have ever read anything related Horcrux. I shouldn’t have even thought about making one let alone planning seven. I was horrible to you too. I shouldn’t have made you force me to choose between you and horcruxes. I… And I… I am sorry for not realizing that you're the most important person in my life. I am so sorry Harry. Please… I know you will never forgive me for this but give me a chance… Please give me a chance to prove myself. Please…”

Tom bit his trembling lip at the silence and tears threatened to be spilled from his eyes and he could not take a look at Harry’s unforgiving face so he kept his eyes to the ground.

“I know… I don’t deserve this chance. But still please Harry… I know… I am a monster but…”

Tom whispered the last words aloud, the thought which had been plaguing his mind for weeks.

He had ignored the way others looked at him as a monster; hell he even enjoyed the look on some of their faces like Billy Stubbs, Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop during his childhood.

But being a monster in Harry’s eyes…

He didn’t even realize the tears trailing down his cheeks because he was too shocked when arms enveloped him, pressing his face against a hard chest.

It broke something in him that Tom let himself cry. He cried for all the times he hurt Harry who was still treating him gently even though he was undeserving of such kindness.

“Shush Tom…”

Harry rocked him back and forth like a child and Tom let himself sink in the goodness and warmth that was Harry.

After few minutes, Tom pulled back from Harry, rubbing his eyes and was surprised to find Harry conjuring a small cloth and wiped his cheeks with a gentle smile on his face.

“You are not a monster Tom.”

“No Harry, I did such terrible things…”

“No Tom, You planned to do terrible things but you stopped and that.. that matters Tom.”

Harry took his hand and guided him towards the bed and made him sit while Harry sat beside him. Tom wiped his face with the help of the cloth Harry conjured and kept it away while he took his shoes off, an excuse to not meet Harry’s eyes. Tom couldn’t meet Harry’s eyes with how he felt in front of Harry’s kindness.

“I am sorry Harry”

Harry put a finger under his chin, forcing Tom to look at him. Some unknown emotion welled up in him, overwhelming him when he looked at those green eyes.

Harry spread his arms wide as if telling him “come here” silently,

And Tom hugged Harry, holding him tightly, desperately, afraid that this was all some sort of illusion his magic came up with not able to take the mental stress he had been going through for weeks,

Harry’s hand caressed the back of his head while another hand patted Tom’s back,

“I know you are sorry. I know you feel guilty but I also know that you don’t regret anything about Myrtle but only regret that you had lost me.”

Tom’s hands tightened around Harry even more.

Of course, Harry knew. This was Harry, his H, the person who knew and understood Tom even more than himself. And he wouldn’t have him any other way.

Yes, he didn’t feel guilty about thinking about killing someone. He felt guilty of how Harry would view of him as. Tom doesn’t understand feelings like others. All he understood was anger, pain, possessiveness and fondness. That was why he failed to understand or feel guilty about these kinds of things.

Harry could see the darkest sides of him and Tom felt dirty to be in front of a very pure and amazing person like Harry.

“And I am so happy Tom…”

Tom pulled away from Harry and looked at him with wide eyes,

“I know, I know I must sound crazy to others but Tom you stopped, you know. Even though we fought and were not on speaking terms, you could have easily made a horcrux you know. Why didn’t you? What stopped you Tom?”

Tom hesitantly admitted the truth he had been avoiding even to himself,

“You…”

Because Tom was hesitant to admit that Harry had so much hold over him and was afraid what it meant.

“See Tom, you stopped and cared about my opinions. I knew you're changing and I was avoiding you even after knowing that because I wanted some time to come terms with how your character is. I just needed some time. I know you don’t feel like others normally and I understand that. I know, you stopped yourself from making a horcrux only because of me may not seem much to others but you stopped because of me means a lot to me Tom. And there is hope I see in you, that is more than enough for now… We will work together from here, ok?”

Tom nodded speechless with the realization that Harry was giving him a chance and he could feel his eyes sting,

Damn it, he was crying so easily but he could not help with how overwhelming he felt with various emotions assaulting him at the same time.

“But…”

Of course there was a but… Tom should be happy that Harry even talked with him after the stunt he pulled.

“I will stay with you and we will work this out together Tom but promise me Tom, you will never ever take someone else’s life for granted. It is not yours to take. I want to believe in you but promise me, promise me that you will not murder someone… Please Tom…”

Tom had already decided to give up anything if it meant he could have Harry, his H, who had given a new meaning in his life, who had looked after him all those years, who was there for him when everyone else had given up on him.

“I promise Harry. I will take an unbreakable vow if necessary. I will do anything, anything if it means you won’t leave me again. Being away from you, not speaking with you, being ignored by you was horrible. I will never ever do anything in my life that will make you hate me again…”

Harry caressed his cheek, looked at him with tear filled eyes,

“This is more than enough Tom and I could never hate you Tom…”

Harry pushed him back on the bed, moved towards the bedside table to put their shoes off and drank a glass of water before pulling his outer robe. He turned towards Tom with tired smile and laid beside him with his head on Tom’s chest, arms hugging Tom’s body.

“And I am also sorry Tom, sorry for saying hurtful things to you. I should have been there for you to help you instead I let my anger take control of me. I am sorry Tom…”

“Harry, you did nothing wrong, I was the one…”

“No Tom, I said some hurtful words… I said I regret ever sending you gifts. But that was not true Tom. I have never regretted meeting you. I am sorry Tom…”

“No, no Harry, I was the one in wrong. I hurt you. I should have tried to be a better person instead I disappointed you. You had every right to hurt me. I am sorry Harry”

“No Tom, I should have handled it better. I was avoiding you too even after knowing you wanted to apologize to me. I am sorry….”

“No, it’s my fault Harry”

“No, mine Tom.”

“No, I should be the one to say sorry”

“No, I should”

They both chuckled, feeling light hearted as if something was lifted.

Tom’s arms tightened around Harry, thanking whatever deity out there for giving him this chance because he felt that everything had righted in this world now that he has Harry in his arms.

The silence was a little awkward between them but it was much more welcoming than none at all,

“I know it will be hard to connect with each other right now. But things will get better, ok? I… We will figure things out together, ok?”

“Yeah, I… I like you more than anything in the world Harry”

Those were the words he could use to compare what he feels, not really knowing if this was how he felt.

“Oh Tom…”

Tom could feel the wetness against his robes,

“You know how hard it was to not speak with you. Don’t ever make a stupid decision like that ever again. I better hope you keep that promise. If you do anything like that again, I swear that will be the last time you will see me.”

“Never Harry. I will never do anything that will make you leave me. Please believe me.”

Tom knew that the coming days would be harder but he would make sure to do everything in him to make Harry believe that he was serious about this.

Harry moved his face from Tom’s chest and nuzzled his face against Tom’s neck and finally fell asleep like that as if he had not slept well without Tom by his side.

Tom’s trembling fingers gripped the back of Harry’s shirt tightly,

“I will do anything to have you with me Harry…”

Tom knew everything won’t go back to how it was but he knew one day it would be. It was just a matter of time. But for now, having Harry here in his arms was more than anything he had expected things to be…

Tom pulled Harry’s sleeping form against him, inhaled his neck, the perfume Harry used assaulted his senses, overwhelming him with the realization that he even missed Harry’s perfume.

This pure, this kind and unbelievable person had chosen him for reasons he didn’t know, even going so far as to forgive him for the evil magic he was going to perform.

And Tom would treasure him; would crucio himself before he hurt Harry ever in his life again like that. With that promise to himself, he slowly drifted to sleep as he spent countless nights having trouble sleeping not wanting to see his Harry become that bastard Malfoy’s in his nightmares

His nightmares may not seem much terrifying to people but to Tom, who had no one in his life except Harry, his H whom he had been thinking of as his all his life becoming someone else’s was terrifying.

Harry was in his arms now after everything they had to go through, they were together even after everything.

The last thought before he gave himself fully to sleep was,

He is mine now and I will keep it that way forever…

~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

Tom clenched his fingers strong enough to bleed so as to get some sense in him but his mind went back to how debauched Harry looked right now with just a kiss, his green eyes glazed with lust and cheeks tinted pink and Tom’s name as a moan.

Tom didn’t know how this situation turned from Harry making breakfast for him to Tom dragging Harry to the bedroom.

Now looking at Harry panting for breath as Harry’s legs gave out and slumped down on the bed, he could say it all somehow started because of Harry.

Today was his birthday and Harry came to his house to celebrate his birthday with a cake.

He had been ecstatic just like the first time he got a cake on his birthday and he was even happy with how much their relationship changed in the span of one month.

Tom was afraid after they started speaking about whether they were dating or not. But just after seven days from the time he apologized to Harry, Harry had initiated everything by slightly leaning in and giving him a kiss on the lips.

From there they slowly rebuilt their relationship, trying to understand each other, getting to know each other. Tom liked knowing little things about Harry, eager to know the person behind H façade. Tom had taken H for granted till the fight, thinking that just because Harry was H that he would always support Tom and failed to understand Harry’s likes and dislikes.

Tom hesitantly kissed him after Harry initiated their relationship and slowly touched him more and more, wanting Harry to be only his.

His desire for physical contact only increased as their relationship was still unsteady and with how some people turned their head towards Harry’s direction whenever he walked by, the desire grew stronger.

It was so frustrating, as Harry became even more alluring and beautiful. And Merlin, Harry was so oblivious to all that and so clueless that Tom didn’t know what to do

Harry didn’t object when Tom’s touches grew bold day by day.

And now with how they both decided to not stay in Hogwarts for Christmas leave, they parted ways from Hogwarts to their home. And the Christmas was filled with happiness too. Tom almost cried when Harry gifted him something as the nightmare he had on the summer was so painful, an older version of him spending Christmas all alone.

Harry had given him a book titled, ‘Ministry of Magic and Wizengamot’, a book full of laws and political stuff. Tom didn’t know how but Harry knew himself even before Tom even decided on a carrier.

And this Christmas had been very important as Tom had presented Harry with a promising ring, a promise that their relationship was permanent and that he wanted them to be bonded forever.

Tom had been nervous, so nervous because he had wanted to give Harry the Gaunt ring yet afraid whether Harry would accept it or not. Yes, they had moved past their fight but he was still afraid whether Harry had forgiven him completely or would leave him one day.

But Harry had accepted the ring, with a slightly teary eyes and a happy smile Tom was lucky enough to witness again in his life and had even accepted the locket again when Tom put him around his neck.

The desire to make Harry his has never been stronger and going all the way was all he could think about sometimes. Yet he held back,

Until today…

Tom had already felt full after eating the cake Harry brought for him yet he pouted, making Harry to cook some breakfast for him, wanting Harry to stay a little more. Tom always wanted to extend Harry’s stay to little more. Harry had warned him that he only knew how to bake and doesn’t cook much. But Tom would eat anything even burnt food if Harry made it.

Harry had just finished cooking, keeping it under a warming spell and came near Tom to look over the Daily Prophet he had been reading.

Harry noticed the little scratches on Tom’s neck and was so alarmed as why Tom hadn’t told him about this and why he hadn’t healed it with magic,

“Well, this is battle wound Harry”

“What? Tom, what happened? Did you fight someone?”

Tom mumbled the name aloud,

“Who did you fight with Tom? I don’t understand your mumbling.”

“It’s He-Hedwig”

“What?”

“Well, you know the first time you sent her to me two days before, it was the first time I saw her after we resolved our fight, she, Merlin she was so angry. I think she was angry for hurting you all those days when we fought. Man, she could hold a grudge.”

Tom glanced at the over protective owl on the window nearby the living room that glared at him as soon as he looked at her and he quickly averted his eyes.

Harry looked at that owl fondly and caressed his scratches gently,

“Why didn’t you heal it Tom? You could have…”

Tom cut him off, “It is a reminder to never hurt you Harry”

“Oh Tom, I already told you I had forgiven you.”

Harry moved away from him and stood beside Hedwig,

“And you Hedwig don’t pick fight with others like this.”

Hedwig turned her face away from Harry as if she didn’t hear anything.

Harry started petting her feathers,

“I am sorry Tom. Merlin, I always get overprotective people in my life and she is always this way you know, even towards Sirius…”

Harry was speaking about something but Tom couldn’t hear anything as all he could focus on was the expression Harry had, his eyes were sparkling with some kind of happiness, his hands gesturing adorably as he retold the fight between his godfather and Hedwig over who got to stay in Harry’s room when he was sick one day.

The paper in Tom’s hands slipped as he was stuck by Harry’s allure all of a sudden…

He wanted Harry to look like that too when he was talking about Tom.

He wanted Harry to always look at him with happiness…

He wanted all of Harry’s pureness, kindness and everything Harry was…

He wanted Harry who spent days to select a perfect gift for Tom on Christmas… He wanted Harry who was always thoughtful, so forgiving and baked a cake on Tom’s birthday, sneaked to Tom’s home to celebrate his birthday from Potter Manor even though Tom was not a child anymore.

He wanted Harry who always told him silly stories about his childhood, wanting Tom to have experience through his words…

He wanted Harry who was smarter than him, despite his appearance had won the duelling competition for the past four years, who beat Tom in many duels and know lots of subjects Tom wasn’t even aware of.

He wanted Harry who was funny, adorable most of the time and cute all the time with his green eyes that was too beautiful for anyone to look at.

He wanted Harry who was beautiful in body and soul, who made Tom a human instead of a monster and agreed to bond in future.

He wanted Harry who had saved him as a child and was still saving him from his own self even while getting hurt by Tom.

He wanted Harry…

He wanted this amazing wonderful and beautiful person to be his and his alone.

He didn’t know when he moved towards Harry and crashed their lips together. Tom didn’t even register the dazed look on Harry as he dragged him to upstairs, towards his bedroom where Hedwig could not enter and he barely registered locking the door before he pulled Harry towards him, a hand gripping and tugging Harry’s long hair to angle him the way he wanted while he kissed Harry like there was no tomorrow.

Tom nipped at Harry's lower lip roughly, and Tom rolled his hips a little, tongue delving deeper into Harry's mouth when it opened slightly wider to moan.

His free hand circled around Harry’s waist and pulled Harry close enough that there was no space between them.

Harry molded against his body as if he was made for Tom perfectly, making it so that Tom literally had a hard time choosing between continuing the kiss and breathing.

Merlin, if only his lungs could have held out longer…

When they pulled apart, Harry slumped down on the bed behind him, making Tom groan with desire. If only Harry could see himself in mirror for he couldn't see how mussed up his hair had become or the blush on Harry’s cheeks or the bruised, swollen lips that begged for more of Tom.

He wanted to wait, really wanted to wait for the day Harry would take the step but he had lost control.

Now you see, this was all Harry’s fault for looking like this…

He could feel his nails digging in his palms so the pain would somehow ground him.

Tom had in the past month had of course pulled Harry into many dark corridors to snog and there were times they had both gotten too close but never anything too intimate. Tom had been torturing himself with self-control for the past month.

Tom had desired Harry even before but never like this. There was some sort of urgency in him to make Harry his…

“Harry, I… I…”

Harry got up and pulled the lockets around his neck and put them aside on the side table and walked towards Tom and kissed him before pushing him down onto the bed, Tom’s body jumping a little from the springs and he was too shocked, Harry’s arms at the sides of his head and stared upward with wide eyes when Harry straddled him.

Harry was now sure of what he wanted unlike last year. They were now eighteen and an adult in every sense and Harry wanted Tom in every way possible.

“Tom, you want me and I want you just as much… So… Fuck me…”

Tom was too shocked for a moment as he never thought of Harry saying something like this. But it didn’t last long as it brought the desire back in him and he switched their positions in a second.

Tom swallowed Harry’s gasp with another kiss and now it was Tom who was straddling Harry.

Tom smirked at Harry as he started to unbutton Harry’s shirt, relishing in the flushed cheeks and those wide green eyes narrowing at him. Harry shuddered beneath him when Tom’s hand touched his bare chest after throwing Harry’s shirt to the ground. He wanted to take this slow but when Harry pushed him a little away and started undressing Tom had blown whatever control he had.

Harry smirked back at him when he boldly threw Tom’s shirt on the ground getting back at him as if telling that Harry wanted this just as much as Tom wanted this, vanquishing whatever doubt he had in his mind.

When Tom pulled off Harry’s pants, something snapped between them, making them impatient and soon Harry vanished both of their clothes with a snap of his fingers, making Tom to involuntarily gasp when their members brushed, and they both moaned at the direct contact.

Harry’s response and boldness despite his shyness did something to his heart, his eyes capturing every little expression, every minute change to be imprinted on his mind.

The week before the start of Christmas holiday, Tom had put Avery under awkward conversation of how to have sex between men. Of course, he knew it but he wanted to speak with someone who did it for real rather than what he learnt from the book. Avery had gaped at him for full minute and had stuttered out the words but his partner Nott, whom he had been dancing around with for years had explained him enthusiastically about his experience.

Harry leaned upward to pull him into a kiss again, pulling Tom’s hair with a harsh tug, making all thoughts to flee his mind when Harry sucked Tom’s lower lip arousing him even more.

Harry's torso arched against Tom's, both grinding them together harshly and forcing their kiss to break apart.

Tom’s free hand roamed over Harry’s torso before his hand stopping right below one of Harry’s nipples while they connected their lips again. His fingers circled around the nipple, not really touching and teased Harry slowly. When Harry bit Tom’s lower lip harshly in impatience, Tom finally touched Harry’s nipple with his fingers, twisting and pulling at the sensitive bud.

He broke the kiss for a second to look down at Harry’s expression and almost regretted it as Harry looked like an angel of pureness thoroughly debauched, arching in the touch of devil Tom.

Harry pushed his hips against him, making Tom shudder with the onslaught of pleasure the friction brought. His fingers retracted from the tangle of hair they were trapped in and Tom moved his head upwards to recapture Harry's lips, but Harry’s finger gripped on his hair a second before tightening again, sending light tingles down his spine and straight to his loins and stopping them from reconnecting.

Tom knew that Harry was trying to stop Tom from looking at him like that again and his shyness only spurred Tom on at the fact that he was the only one, first and would be the last one to touch this body writhing beneath him that he was the first one to see Harry like this, moaning in pleasure spurred him more.

He planted kisses along the delectable collarbone and neck before him, trailing up and down, before returning to the soft, kiss-swollen lips, wanting Harry to let himself enjoy this and not to shy away from Tom.

Harry may be bold in his actions but that doesn’t mean he mustn’t be afraid since this was the first time they were going all the way even though Tom had fingered him few times when they were snogging weeks before.

Tom parted from that swollen lips and took Harry’s hand from his hair and kissed the back of his hand gently as if to let Harry know silently that even though Tom may be a little rough, he would never hurt Harry and Tom would stop any moment if Harry wanted.

Seeing no protest from Harry, Tom let go of Harry’s hand but not before kissing the ring on Harry’s hand and he leaned down to place butterfly kisses all over Harry’s face, trying to get some sort of control so that he could take this slow. He never wanted to hurt Harry even a little would be unforgivable.

Tom started licking the length of his Harry's neck before nipping tentatively on his skin.

“Tom….”

Harry moaned his name aloud, all sort of controlling left his mind just like usual, it’s not as if he had any control to begin with anyway and sunk his teeth on the sensitive flesh of the other male, hard enough to erupt a loud groan from Harry.

Releasing that piece of flesh, Tom looked at red teeth mark painted on the pale skin. Tom licked his lips as he observed the panting mess Harry had become.

And just the thought that it was Tom who made him a panting mess woke the caged beast inside him and he lunged forward once again, biting one more time into his neck and pushing Harry into the bed even more with his weight.

Feeling the sensation of the Tom’s breath on his sensitive skin, the sharp pain of being bitten mixing with the ticklish pleasure of the sucking made Harry’s head spin. Harry could feel his mind which stayed awake even in his sleep sometimes going blank with pleasure.

Harry bit his lips to not let all those embarrassing sounds aloud but it was hard when Tom moved from his sensitive neck and started biting all around his nipple, teasing him with not directly touching his nipple again.

Harry pulled Tom again into a kiss frustrated that Tom was playing with him, wanting Harry to say aloud of where he wanted to touch properly.

Well, two can play the game…

Harry had easily submitted to Tom’s dominance when they kissed before and decided to teach Tom by sucking Tom’s lips lightly and nibbling his lower lip but never enough to deepen the kiss and Tom grew impatient with this, grabbed his face to angle the way he wanted before kissing him properly.

With Tom lingering on top of him, their quickened breaths mingling together, they continued tasting each other's mouth, sucking into each other's tongues, in an endless exchange of both caresses and saliva.

They parted for breath and Harry’s eyes grew wide when Tom panted above him with a look that screamed possessiveness. Harry had never seen Tom’s composure of blank face falling apart like this except whenever they get intimate. Harry didn’t know if Tom realized he was smiling at Harry with eyes full of love…

Love for Harry…

Tom teasingly licked one of the nipples with the tip of his tongue before he bit the nipple and softly pulled it with his teeth, relishing on the sounds that escaped from Harry’s mouth and the way Harry shuddered beneath him while Tom’s hand pinched and pulled his other nipple.

Harry could feel his mind shutting down when Tom played with the nipple in his mouth, switching between licking, biting and sucking on it. All Harry could do was dug his nails on Tom’s back in an attempt to ground him, to keep himself sane but it only brought Tom closer.

Harry could no longer keep the sounds in his mouth and started moaning and chanting Tom’s name. And all he could do was not come undone when Tom peered up at him with eyes that were almost ruby red that wanted to devour him completely.

Tom departed his mouth from the erect nipple, which was wet from Tom’s saliva and swollen due to all the sucking and nibbling Tom had done to it. Strangely, it only aroused him more.

He looked at Tom, who was now trying to control his raged breathing,

“Are you clean Harry…?”

Harry could feel his cheeks reddening because of course he had prepared himself. And saying that aloud would be so embarrassing. Tom would know that Harry came here with the thought of this but he had no choice anyway so Harry slightly averted his eyes and nodded. Tom’s breath hitched at the implication that Harry was ready for this in their relationship and came prepared.

Harry knew Tom for the past month had been very impatient and overly possessive and touched Harry whenever he could. Harry knew it stemmed from the insecurity and doubt of whether Harry would leave him in future. They both needed this, this connection as some sort of confirmation of their relationship.

Tom extended his hand towards the bedside table and the wand flew towards his hand, muttering a cleaning and lubrication charm in a breathy voice, putting the wand aside he looked at Harry as if asking permission.

Harry nodded with a little smile, encouraging Tom to touch him more.

Even though Tom had already cast a lubrication charm, his finger circled the entrance below slowly just like the number of times Tom had fingered him in the past month, wanting Harry to get used to it, not wanting to hurt Harry.

His insides were already loosened a little with the charm but Tom spread the lube with his finger and Harry gasped as he felt a wet, agile finger slip inside of him. Harry could feel his muscles contract, squeezing Tom’s finger.

Tom licked his already swollen nipple to distract Harry and moved his finger in and out, before he even knew a second finger was added. Tom moved them in and out when Harry didn’t tense. Harry was far from tense as he spread his legs reflexively as Tom moved his fingers, arched his head back and looked up at the ceiling, trying to deprive himself from staring at Tom's ministrations on his body.

After few seconds Tom’s third finger pressed its way in and Tom twisted his fingers around, scissoring, trying to widen the entrance. Harry closed his eyes when they brushed something deep inside that sent a shock of pleasure through him.

Harry fisted the sheets under him when he pushed himself in the hopes of repeating the friction, accidently shoving Tom’s fingers deeper inside him and clenched Tom’s fingers not able see past anything under the pleasure he experienced.

Harry opened his eyes only when Tom groaned above him,

“You should look at yourself Harry… So sexy fucking yourself on my fingers...”

Tom pressed his fingers against that same spot, knowing he had found the Harry’s prostate. Harry let out a silent scream, all thoughts fleeing his head with Tom’s touches and couldn’t help but want more and more of Tom. Harry didn’t even realize that he was in fact begging aloud for more.

Harry couldn’t help but let out a whimper in disapproval when Tom pulled out his fingers but soon Tom turned him around, making him to face the opposite side of Tom, pulling Harry’s hips higher in the air so it would be easy for Harry to take Tom in as it was his first time.

Harry felt vulnerable in this position but soon forgot everything as he felt Tom kneel on the bed beside him and lined his torso perfectly against Harry’s back and pushed Harry’s legs a little wider before he thrust the head of his erection and waited for Harry to adjust even though Tom spent minutes to stretch him.

Tom’s fingers rubbed soothing circles on the rune tattoo in Harry’s back to soothe any discomfort Harry might feel and trailed small bites down the runes in shape of snake on Harry’s back as it resembled Tom’s animagus form. Tom eased in another inch slowly and kept going deeper.

Harry clenched the sheets around him when Tom fully sheathed inside him, giving few seconds to get adjusted.

“You feel amazing Harry, fucking tight and hot…”

Tom muttered all sort of embarrassing things to him and started pressing gentle kisses against Harry’s sweaty shoulder while one of his hands reached around to pinch and pull his nipples.

Tom took his time pulling out and thrusting back in again slowly, not wanting to cause pain to Harry even now. Harry tried to push his hips back, not able to hold back from the pleasure of being full. On the third thrust, Tom angled himself the way his fingers had been, and on the torturously slow fourth thrust, Harry was arching up against Tom and then Tom set a much faster pace.

“Tell me… tell me you're mine…”

Harry felt a sudden spark of defiance in him to not give Tom the pleasure of hearing it quickly and moaned silently.

Tom bit his shoulder harshly and slowed his pace to slow, lazy thrusts, deciding to torture Harry by denying him pleasure.

“Tell me…”

His pace became even slower while his hand teased Harry’s sensitive nipple and Harry threw his head back in frustration.

“Tom, I… Aaah… I want to see you”

Even though Tom did it to ease any sort of pain by doing in this position, Harry wanted to gaze at those eyes that always gazed at him as if he wanted to eat Harry all up.

Tom groaned at his request but as always conceded, changing their positions slowly when Tom pulled out and Harry almost came when his erection brushed against the bed while changing positions.

Tom rammed his cock against Harry's prostate, eliciting something between a moan and a whimper as soon as they changed positions and Harry circled his arms around Tom’s neck, pulling him into a kiss.

But Tom pulled away and refused to touch his erection,

“Tell me… Tell me Harry”

Harry wrapped his legs tightly around Tom's waist in response, unintentionally pressing Tom even deeper, sending a shock of pleasure through them both.

And Harry couldn’t hold the words back when Tom’s fingers clenched firmly around his pale hips, lifting Harry up to improve his aim as it made Tom to hit his prostate directly.

“Yours… I am yours Tom”

Yes, this was why there was always some sort of urgency between them, wanting the other to belong to each other and to never let go ever.

Harry’s legs around Tom tightened and he clenched his inside making Tom to moan aloud. Harry tried to control both his raged breathing and moans when Tom picked his pace again, hitting Harry’s prostate with each thrust.

Tom's thrusts were quick and hard, hitting Harry's prostate directly every time while one hand of Tom teased Harry’s nipple while other hand cupped Harry’s erection and started pumping them in a sensual way.

Harry threw his head back in the pillow as each thrust made his body shudder and spasm in ecstasy.

“More… Tom… mo-more”

Tom moved his head to leave small bites all over Harry’s neck and Harry closed his eyes, tilting his head to give Tom better access and tears leaked through his half lidded eyes at the onslaught of pleasure from everywhere Tom touched.

“Mine Harry… Only Mine…”

Harry’s eyes rolled back and his legs pulling Tom even more close if possible and his insides clenched around Tom’s and with a scream that would hurt his throat later, Harry arched and came messily on his stomach.

Harry peered over at Tom in the haze of pleasure who was still thrusting in him with his eyes clenched and Harry was stuck by how beautiful Tom looked with his emotions so open to Harry.

Tom was his; no one else would be allowed to touch Tom other than Harry and no one would be able to see Tom like this other than him. Tom was his and only his.

Harry without any hesitancy said the words he always smothered within the deepest part of his heart, deciding to lay his heart bare open as he realized that there wasn’t any shame or competition in admitting,

“I love you Tom…”

Tom’s eyes flew open and widened impossibly…

Tom didn’t last much longer after hearing those words, coming in a series of hot spurts. He rode out his orgasm inside of Harry, biting down on Harry's shoulder juncture hard enough to draw blood and hid his face in the crook of Harry’s neck, not wanting to show his expression to Harry.

Love…

Love…

Tom had never understood the emotion like normal people did and he often sneered at the topic of love. Yet, he had sometimes longed for some sort of completion not knowing what it was he had been looking for…

And when Harry uttered those words, Tom didn’t know what came over him that he came undone with mere words.

Love…

Even though he never understood it, no one ever, ever in all his life loved him. No one had ever said these words to him and to think Harry, the amazing person who no one deserved to even look at loved him was something he never imagined in his life.

Tom could feel his eyes tearing up a little and cursed himself for getting emotional most of the time nowadays.

Tom slowly pulled himself out of Harry and looked at Harry beneath him who was smiling at Tom so beautifully that his heart clenched with unnamed emotion.

“Harry, I… I…”

Harry’s hand rose to caress Tom’s cheek tenderly as if Tom was too precious and it hurt something deep inside him. Tom couldn’t bring himself to say those words back when he doesn’t even understand it himself.

“It’s okay Tom… We will get there someday”

We… Not you…

Tom wound his arms around Harry, lifting him up to kiss him not able to look at those bright green eyes.

Harry understood Tom very well. Harry knew that Tom doesn’t understand anything about love and he was willing to wait for the day Tom did as they had all the time since they're together now. And Harry didn’t fault Tom either as he knew no one was kind enough to Tom or showered him with love in the orphanage but also Tom must have heard or pieced together the information of his mother using love potion and developed a deep hate towards anything related to love for so long.

Tom deepened the kiss, slithering his tongue inside and Harry responded back while his body shuddered at the remembrance of Tom thrusting inside him viciously minutes before.

Their tongues tangled within their mouths and Harry broke away to catch his breath.

Tom moved away from his body and laid beside Harry with an arm propped under his head to keep gazing at Harry as if Harry would disappear.

Running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, Harry finally took notice of the state of the room where the clothes scattered around on the ground along with the clothes he vanished impatiently before as he had lost control of the wandless spell long before.

It was intense… Merlin, he could feel himself blushing under Tom’s intense staring at him as if Harry was the most precious angel on earth.

Trying to change topic, so he could hide his embarrassment at what they had done minutes before Harry asked Tom,

“Shouldn’t we cast the safety charms?”

Harry too researched around spells about this shyly reaching towards the section of library only allowed after you reach seventh year and he had been so nervous while reading all about it. There were safety charms to cast after this that would prevent any sort of disease and as for females, there was a spell one more after this to prevent from getting pregnant.

“Well, we aren’t finished yet..”

“Eh….”

Tom smirked at him before he cast a spell on Harry to tie his hands to the headboard, making Harry to gasp in shock.

“Tom… ”

Tom trailed kisses on his torso, slowly inching towards his nipple. Merlin, they're already swollen and Harry was not sure he could handle the mind blowing pleasure again.

“Tom, are you listening to me?”

“Tom…. Aahhh”

~~~~``~~~~
Harry could feel his entire body throbbing. However, that wasn't the reason as to why he had woken up so early. He blinked his eyes tiredly, clearing his mind so that he could try to understand why he felt his body aching and the thoughts of what they did a few hours before came to his mind.

His cheeks turned pink in embarrassment and bit his lip to not let out a gasp when he looked at Tom sleeping beside him so peacefully with his mouth slightly open.

And memories of where all the mouth licked, bit and teased came to his mind, darkening the colour of his cheeks and Harry averted his eyes quickly away from Tom’s sleeping figure.

And looking down was even more embarrassing as that only made him more aware of their… situation. He was naked beside Tom who was also probably without clothes too.

It was all pervert Tom’s fault…

Wanting to go twice more…

And in which Tom had tied his hands to the headboard of the bed and Tom relished in the fact that Harry was under Tom’s control completely. Harry’s toes curled when he thought about how Tom gave him a blow job next time.

Harry ignored his aching and pulled the blanket slowly so as to not wake Tom up and put his trembling legs on the ground, grabbing the shirt nearby and put it on after muttering a wandlesss cleaning charm even though Tom had already cleaned him with tissues, mortifying Harry by not using magic…

Nope, not going there…

Shut up mind…

Harry looked up at the clock to find that it was thankfully noon as he had told Sirius that he would come back before evening and would not miss their traditional staying awake till midnight to celebrate new-year the Marauders way just like every year.

Harry grimaced at the pain in his hips with each step he took towards the window and leaned against the panel, resting his head against it with a happy smile.

His hands ached where Tom had tied him to the headboard when Tom wanted to go one more time,

Harry knew that it was not just a kink but Tom had been testing him. Tom was testing him subtly for some time now, checking that whether Harry would stay with him forever and whether Harry was dissatisfied with him…

The look on Tom’s face when Harry was completely under Tom’s mercy…

He knew Tom has been testing whether Harry would let himself be completely to Tom’s control. And Harry let him not that he was helpless as he could cast basic spells wandlessly. Not that it was needed as he knew that Tom would never hurt him. Tom’s hands were trembling and even though he was rough, he still took care in not hurting Harry.

Harry could only hope that Tom would accept the fact that Harry loved him and would never leave him alone. Tom may have not changed much but still he was changing and that was more than enough for now.

Tom might not know this but ever since Tom knew that he was H, he had sort of slowly gave up on the pureblood superiority thoughts. Tom might not have noticed but he had slowly changed his views as his H was a half-blood and Tom had avoided speaking anything about muggleborns as Harry’s mother was a very touchy topic after telling Tom how much it pained just the thought of that brave woman who had to die to give him birth. It must have been so scary to find that the child growing in your stomach was killing you. That was the last time Tom ever uttered the m-word and never again.

That little things Tom had did without even knowing was the reason he even agreed to date Tom even before this horcrux incident. Granted, Harry at first became fascinated with Tom because of the fact he was the one receiving gifts from him but Harry could not imagine a life without Tom. Harry loved Tom, even with all his dark sides and cruel attitude. Harry loved him and how could he not when Tom had given up on his precious dream just for Harry.

Now that he had said it aloud to Tom, it felt lighter somehow and these feelings made him so happy.

Tom had looked wide eyed with an unbelievable look when Harry told him that he loved Tom…

Harry chuckled, shaking his head and frowned looking down on his chest…

Harry stretched his hand to reach the locket on the bed side table and put it on along with the locket Sirius gave him when he was child. He felt something missing if he didn’t have them on his neck, feeling somehow vulnerable.

Harry looked at the ring in his finger and couldn’t help but smile like a loon…

Stupid Tom being all sappy with these jewels…

Harry knew how much Tom valued the Slytherin locket and the Gaunt’s heirloom ring. He knew Tom would have made them horcrux if Harry hadn’t stopped him. Tom had given Harry the objects Tom deemed worthy enough to put his soul in and if that didn’t show Tom’s dedication to him, he didn’t know what did. Still, they may have united physically and to have their heart too to connect completely, he knew that it would take some time but Harry has all the time to see Tom changing and trusting him. He didn’t fault Tom either as he knew that Tom had never in his life trusted anyone completely. That was why he hadn’t expressed his thoughts completely to Harry like with the Horcrux subject.

Harry felt grateful to his visions as it had allowed him to understand Tom completely. If he didn’t know about Tom’s orphanage days, he would have never understood Tom this much. Tom would never tell anyone about anything and he would have never known Tom like this and also he couldn’t have known and stopped Tom from making the biggest mistake of his life. So he was really grateful to his visions.

Harry opened the window glasses, enjoying the breeze as it was not snowing much and breathed deeply with content.

Speaking of content, Harry had to be now extra cautious and counterspell whenever his sister Alice might cast a chastity charm on him. His sister has to be a fool to think she could cast a spell on him without Harry knowing all those days when she was in Hogwarts.

He knew they would tell his family about their relationship in time but till then he wanted Tom alive and letting his sister to know about him sleeping with someone, she would kill Tom.

Harry could smell the roses from the garden down all the way as it was a very beautiful garden which Tom maintained well, warding it against even from snow.

Harry could feel himself blushing when he came to the house after resolving their fight to find Tom had planted it all because of him.

Tom… Merlin, he could be such a Hufflepuff sometimes.

Harry bit his lips so as to not laugh at that thought.

Tom was fond of the roses and said that it was because Harry smelled like that and in the duelling tournaments, Harry used to tie everyone up with roses and hell had made a crown of roses on Professor Snape’s head that one time when he made a comment about his godfather Siri. He used to practice a lot of that spell and altering them, experimenting on them, some rose petals always stuck to his robes and because of that he used to smell like that.

But Harry had given up on that style as Sirius and his father warned Harry that he was solely focusing on those spells, ignoring other things that could be used and win simply. So Harry used those spells only when to surprise the opponent when all else failed.

Harry had started using rose scented perfumes to tease Tom after knowing that Tom liked it. Tom had on some occasions asked him to teach the spell and the magic behind the spell he always favoured.

Harry smiled thinking if Tom knew who invented and used those spells…

Helga Hufflepuff was a very kind woman who hated violence and fights in general but when she had to duel, she floored Salazar and Godric, leaving them tied up with various kind of plants and that one time Salazar had to endure a whole day with a crown of some sort of bright flower (which Harry had used on Professor Snape too) was so funny as it was a punishment for insulting her students.

She had been an earth elemental and loved all sorts of plants that Harry couldn’t help but get drawn to her style of duelling.

If Tom knew that he had been pestering Harry about the spells Hufflepuff used, he would die of heart attack as Tom had more than one time gushed about how awesome that spells Harry used were because Tom took pride in his house, has been very serious about house rivalry and thought of Hufflepuff as cuddly things.

Said the man who wouldn’t go to sleep if he didn’t cuddle Harry or Terror…

Harry laughed at that thought and turned towards the bed when he heard Tom groaning…

Even while sleeping, Tom was subconsciously searching the side of bed with his hand where Harry slept…

And if it wasn’t cute, he didn’t know what was…

Soon finding Harry’s absence, Tom opened his eyes with alert, looking around and his posture relaxed only when he gazed at Harry. Harry could feel Tom’s eyes roaming his body and Harry wanted to put something on other than the shirt he picked up from the floor which to his dismay was Tom’s.

Tom smirked smugly… That… That smug bastard, smirking at Harry like he had won the whole world.

Tom pushed the blanket of him, yawning with an adorable expression and got up. Thankfully, he was still wearing a boxer unless Harry would have blushed, stroking Tom’s ego.

Harry took a step and soon regretted it, wincing at the sudden pain.

Tom was near him in an instant,

“Are you ok? Did I hurt you Harry?”

“I am just sore Tom. I will be fine after I had a shower.”

Harry’s eyes widened immediately when Tom lifted him and Harry’s arms circled Tom’s neck automatically.

“Come on Tom, I can walk you know and I am probably very heavy”

Tom walked towards the bathroom, ignoring his protests,

“Let me take care of you Harry. And also you weigh nothing. I used to lift all sorts of things in the orphanage.”

This was the first time Tom openly spoke about his childhood days and he could picture a child Tom lifting more than he could with an angry scowl.

He nuzzled Tom’s neck and kissed his adam’s apple,

“I love you Tom”

Harry hid his smile when Tom flattered in his steps, his breath hitching.

Well if Tom took pleasure in making Harry blush, he took pleasure in Tom’s.

“Harry, I had heard some of my housemates gossiping about how awesome bathroom sex is, why don’t we try it, huh?”

Harry’s smugness vanished and Harry tried, really tried to get off but Tom’s grip on him tightened and he gulped when the bathroom door shut with a thud. He already had to vanish the bruises on his pale skin before he go home but seeing the desire filled eyes of Tom made him doubt whether he could even escape from here.

“Tom… I…”

“It’s your fault being so sexy and adorable Harry… I think I will never be satisfied…”

“Come on Tom, I have to go back home… If we do that again, I won’t be able to walk straight…”

“All the more reason to let everyone know that you're taken”

“Tom, if my family knew I am taken, you won’t live past a day to be so smug, put me down this instant.”

Tom put him down gently while sulking with a pout. Harry’s happiness in winning over the argument only short lived as Harry was pushed against the tiles when Tom crowded him with an intense stare, trapping him with in his hands.

Harry could feel his brain slipping away when Tom nibbled where he bit already on his neck few hours before.

Tom smirked at the effect he had on Harry with a superior look while one hand caressed the tattoo like runes on his back, making him shudder while Tom’s other hand slid up Harry's ass and his mouth moved from Harry’s neck and bit his nipple over the shirt.

“Tom, you… you… smug perverted bastard”

“Oh, Am I…?”

“Tom, stop it…”

“Don’t pretend Harry. You're already hard.”

“Ahhh… Tom… Stop it…”

………

While Tom ravished Harry in the bathroom, Terror and Hedwig spent their time dozing off in the living room not knowing what their owners were doing upstairs that the sounds reached even downstairs.

~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

Harry fidgeted with his fingers after putting the tea cup away and looked up at the Headmaster.

They had just finished their discussions on one of the potion he had witnessed in his vision which helped improve the healing if added with other healing potions. Headmaster had said he had never heard of a potion like this and that it was not his best subject but would have a chat with Professor Slughorn or Snape about this.

Harry felt kind of sad looking at the familiar half-moon spectacles, those aged twinkling blue eyes looking at him in return.

This would be the last time he would visit the headmaster office as from tomorrow onwards his NEWTs would start and he had to leave this wonderful castle and also his visits with his headmaster would be no more.

Merlin, these days everything sort of made him into an emotional mess.

There would be no more discussion about which candy was the best or sharing secret historical events he witnessed in his vision while the whole world remained blind. The Headmaster did admit that he had hard time keeping a straight face while his staffs McGonagall and Snape fought about who was best between Godric and Salazar.

Harry smiled at that memory and looked around the office one last time; the sight of Fawkes brought a fresh wave of sadness, wiping the smile of his face.

The number of times Fawkes teamed up with him against Headmaster and the aged man’s childish sulking as the phoenix favoured Harry the most made him even sadder at never seeing them again.

Growing up was not all grand as others say…

It was really hard and he was trying to deal with the frightening thoughts of his future…

Talk about irony, a seer worrying about his own future..

“You’re always welcome here, my boy.”

“Of course I know Headmaster… It’s just I never really thought about leaving this castle, you know.”

Headmaster kindly smiled at him and he realized that the Headmaster parted with the students every year.

“You're one of the brilliant students I had in this school my boy. I know you will figure your future out.”

Harry frowned at Headmaster’s words as he still could not really figure out what he wanted to do in future.

Harry quickly clenched his fingers so that the Headmaster could not notice the trembling of his fingers.

“Are you alright Harry?”

Harry grimaced, knowing he could not hide in front of the wise man sitting in front of him.

He decided to go with half-truth,

“It’s just… Tom is going into politics”

“Did he tell you?”

“No, he didn’t tell me. But you and I as well know how ambitious he is. We may have stopped him from the path he was going to walk through but he will always be drawn to power. And I am not saying that is bad. But I… I wanted to avoid anything related to ministry and he is going straight into ministry.”

The Headmaster’s gentle smile was replaced with a frown on his face,

“You know you can ask him to…”

“No Headmaster, I cannot ask him, not because he won’t do it for me but because he will do everything now as guilt still lingers in him. I didn’t ask him because it will be cruel to stop him from his own ambitions and his desires just so I could feel safe.”

“You’re a very kind person Harry.”

Harry averted his eyes at the honest gaze, embarrassed at the compliment. And coming from the headmaster was an even higher praise.

“Aren’t you afraid about Tom’s future Harry?”

Harry looked again at the Headmaster, who had a curious expression, to which he grinned back,

“I know he is cruel and not a very nice person Headmaster but he is not an evil person either and I trust in him to never go from this path. I know getting into politics, gaining a lot of power will be tempting to him and might even change him even more. But I also know that in future you will become Supreme Mugwump and going against you will humble him. More than that I trust him and have faith in him.”

Headmaster looked at him with surprise and after a second, smiled with a proud expression in his face.

Harry knew that Tom would never ever turn towards Horcrux again. Tom had not entirely changed into what you call a good person but he had changed his opinion on killing and Horcrux. And Harry was proud of Tom, so proud of him knowing how difficult it was for Tom to change his opinion.

It might not seem much to anyone or people might think he was crazy to be with someone who had wanted to commit murder. But he knew personally of what Tom went through in his past and the side effects of being born under love potion.

The books he read said that that the child born under the usage of love potion would never understand love. Harry knew that Tom hadn’t uttered ‘I love you’ at least once but he could see it clearly that Tom loved him. The saddest part was Tom himself doesn’t know that he loved Harry let alone admit it to Harry.

Anyone might be upset if they were in his position for Tom hadn’t expressed his love openly but Harry was not. Harry understood Tom’s emotions and didn’t care much about words. Hell, Tom chose him over his life time obsession of immortality and what more proof could Harry want. Tom might not know how to love someone but Harry would shower him with his love and would show Tom that he was loved every day.

Harry was startled from his thoughts noticing where his Headmaster’s eyes kept getting distracted. Harry took his hands from the table, hiding the ring Tom had given him as a promising ring.

Tom might not know what the ring had but Harry knew the resurrection stone and its history behind it. And the visits he had with Headmaster after receiving the ring, he knew that the Headmaster was too afraid to ask every time but as it would be his last visit as a student, he knew the Headmaster was going to ask him about the ring.

“I don’t want you to become Cadmus Headmaster.”

Headmaster took his eyes from his hands and looked at him with widened eyes but soon his expression became resigned, realizing that Harry was a Seer and knew things no one might know.

“Don’t pity the dead Headmaster, pity the living.”

Headmaster chuckled as his advice was returned to him by his student.

Harry got up knowing that he has to get back to his room before curfew.

“I will miss our little chats my boy.”

“I too will miss your guidance Headmaster.”

Harry gave the headmaster a respectful bow to which he nodded back fondly.

“I know we will see in future but take care of yourself Headmaster.”

“You too my boy and thanks for the lemon drops.”

Harry smiled one last time and took his leave but not before petting Fawkes one more time. Harry couldn’t help himself from buying the headmaster lemon drops as he favoured them more than any other sweets as it would be the last time he saw the headmaster as a Hogwarts student.

Harry descended the spiral stairs and with one last caress to the gargoyle statue, he moved towards his Ravenclaw dorms.

His pleasant mood disappearing with every step he took towards his dorms.

His fear…

His fear he had hid from the Headmaster was something else.

Of course, he was worried about his future but not how the Headmaster thought.

Harry’s fingers started trembling.

His fear was getting to him and sometimes it was hard to control it.

His visions were getting stronger and were getting longer the more his magical core developed. And it was not even his main worry. It was about keeping his visions a secret from everyone especially Tom.

It was getting harder to say no to Tom’s looking like a kicked puppy whenever Harry refused to sleep beside him in Tom’s headboy room. But the last month was easy to say no as the NEWTs was coming up and they both had too much pride to get anything less than O in every subject.

Not that Harry was overly worried about his NEWTs but that was the excuse he had given Tom as it was much more believable, as Granger never failed to remind everyone of how important it was to prepare for your NEWTs beforehand.

Harry loved Tom with all his heart but this was a secret he had guarded ever since he was a child. Hell, he hadn’t even told Alex and Alice even now. Harry could not afford to let them know as not only they have zero skills in occlumency to hide this from anyone reading their mind. He had only let the Headmaster know as he knew that no one could take any information from Albus Dumbledore’s mind. Sirius and James took classes on another level to their occlumency studies more than what had learnt during their auror training to keep his secret.

Tom liked Leglimency more than Occlumency and it was not just that stopped Harry from letting him know. What stopped him even more was the fact that Tom would definitely be running for the highest position in Ministry in few years and politics meant manipulation and getting others’ secrets to use against them.

Harry has a perfect tool in his hands for that. And Harry was afraid…

Tom might have given up on Horcrux but never his ambitions. Tom’s thirst for power was a part of him as much as his heart was.

Harry might have forgiven Tom and even gotten back together. But there were still things, things that they kept secret from each other. It was not as if Harry loved Tom any less but the trust was the issue between them.

And it would take time to trust each other completely as Tom had never in his life trusted anyone and Harry might have forgiven Tom but could never forget the fact that he tried to kill an innocent girl.

Tom was changing… For the better and until then, he would wait…

Harry would wait…

But for now…

Harry turned the direction from where he was going towards his own dorm and decided to stay with Tom for a while as he had spent the morning for his visions behind the shield. He knew Tom was slightly nervous about the NEWTs not that he would ever admit.

Like two days before when he sneaked upon Tom’s room to give him a surprise under his invisibility cloak only to find Tom studying a complex rune while squeezing Mr Terror so tightly… When Tom saw Harry, Tom pushed poor Terror away as if the doll had burned him and Terror the teddy bear looked as if Tom had betrayed it.

It was cute… Tom’s attachment to Mr Terror was adorably cute…. Really cute even more than when he found out what Tom had named his teddy.

Tom would vehemently deny how cute he was becoming the last few months when he awkwardly asked (Yes, asked not demanded) him out on a date during one of their Hogsmeade visits. Hell, Tom even used a pick up line on one of the dates with an awkward laugh and Harry had to bit his lip so hard to not laugh.

Tom was trying, trying to be considerate, trying to value Harry’s choices and he even tried to understand from Harry’s point of view sometimes.

They didn’t have a perfect relationship now but they both were working together was more than enough for Harry…

And looking at the portrait guarding Tom’s room, Harry muttered the password with a blush,

Harry is Tom’s…

A terribly embarrassing password and Tom took delight in knowing that Harry had to say it if he had to enter.

Some things changed but some things never changed… Tom’s possessiveness was one of those things and he took pleasure whenever Harry visited him knowing Harry had to say it aloud.

Harry entered through the door, ignoring the portrait’s snicker and decided to scold Tom but he stopped in his tracks when Tom was sleeping on the bed with a frown on his face while the notes and books were scattered around the bed.

It could have been a normal scene to walk in but the fact that Tom was snuggling with Terror was what made this scene a special one.

Merlin, if that isn’t adorable…

Harry smiled at Tom. Harry put his shoes off after taking his outer robe and picked the notes and books to arrange them on the table in an order.

May be Granger was getting to him as she taunted him that he would not be the first in NEWTs this time as they both were tied in their OWL scores.

Harry almost, almost felt jealous of Terror who was in Tom’s arms but as soon as Tom opened his eyes at the sound of arranging things as he was a light sleeper, Tom pulled Harry into the bed with a happy smile on his tired face.

Harry pulled Tom tighter in his arms, embracing him and hummed a lullaby; wanting Tom to go back to sleep as tomorrow was the starting of their NEWTs.

Tom’s fingers clutched the back of his shirt so tightly, as like always in a desperate manner as if Harry would vanish in thin air the moment he let go and closed his eyes with a peaceful expression.

With a kiss on Tom’s forehead, Harry stuck his tongue at Terror, now lying alone far away from Tom.

Harry then snuggled closer to Tom and let himself to fall asleep as he would not have moments like this for a while once they leave the castle.

~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

Harry was pulled into a dark corridor before his lips were captured in a hungry kiss and Harry didn’t even wince when his back hit the wall.

Harry pulled the figure closer with his arms circling around the person’s neck, knowing that there was only one person in the whole world would dare to…

Harry moaned when Tom bit his lower lip roughly and Harry arched against Tom, relishing in their closeness.

The hand that cushioned Harry’s head from getting hurt while slamming him against the wall now tugged Harry’s long hair, making Harry to shudder with desire.

It had been months, yes months before he last saw Tom on their last day of their school. Tom was busy with making a political base for himself while Harry was busy with taking care of Sirius as he was carrying a child. While Alice and Alex stayed away, he was busy taking care of James too from not going into a depressed mode.

Tom pulled away from him for breath, resting his forehead against Harry’s,

“Fuck, I want you so much.”

Harry almost, almost tempted to find some abandoned classroom to make out but his mind kept some of his sense enough to remind him that the graduation ceremony was being held in the great hall.

Harry got separated from his family from the great hall which was transformed temporarily to hold a graduation ceremony every year with different tables and decorations. He had slipped off from them with an excuse to go see the castle one more time and catch up with his friends.

Harry looked at Tom’s handsome face (Merlin, he got worried with how handsome Tom got with each passing day) and raised his hand to caress Tom, feeling a rush of warmth when Tom leaned against his hand with a happy sigh like a touch starved cat.

“You know we have to go back before my family send a searching party, right?”

“Why do you always make sense?”

Tom glared at him to which Harry chuckled in response, pushing Tom a little away from him before he lost his resolve.

This was hard…

Harder than Harry thought and he didn’t know how his upcoming years would be as both Tom and Harry decided to pursue their own future and Tom wanted to become someone, someone whom Harry’s family would approve of when he wanted to ask their permission for bonding with Harry.

They both agreed to take time from each other and look into what they wanted to become in their life. And Harry had to travel with Aunt Cassiopeia to visit seers all over the world to learn control of his unstable visions and his father James had decided that he would travel along with Harry, after handing his resignation to auror office once Sirius was settled after the baby was born.

Harry didn’t object his father traveling with him as it would sooth James down and also give much needed privacy for Sirius and Remus with their child in the Potter Manor where elves could help them too.

And Harry had still haven’t told Tom about him being Seer, mostly not wanting Tom to get swayed from his path of ministry. Tom had after all been the first one to suggest that they take a break so that Tom could be someone worthy to stand with Harry which Harry told that was completely ridiculous but Tom had replied that, up until now Tom was where he was now because of the help of Harry’s gifts and Tom wanted to prove Harry that he would be worthy and rise to top independently.

Harry could have called him stupid and refused it but the fact that Aunt Cassiopeia had wanted to travel around which he knew was nothing but camping all around the places in search of other seers Aunt knew about. They were going to be basically camp around some place which might reduce the renting cost and scout the area for the seers that might live around that area as they all were super paranoid and might need bit persuading. In this quest, his father would be joining too not wanting Harry to be alone after Sirius settled down which might be due in a month and some more days.

Harry wanted to control the visions and it was getting more out of hand, making him feel afraid. And he wanted to be in control before getting bonded to Tom.

Harry leaned forward and rested his head against Tom’s chest, enjoying the closeness.

He knew for a fact that it would be at least two or three years before they get back together and he would miss Tom…

“What are you thinking about?”

Tom asked aloud, making Harry to lean away and look at Tom’s eyes.

“I am just wondering how we are going to be separated for two years…”

Tom’s one hand circled around Harry’s waist to pull him closer, growling oh so sexily,

“Don’t remind me Harry, I am already questioning my sanity of letting you travel around. I swear you're getting more and more beautiful with each passing day.”

Harry’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink,

Damn it, he was such a charmer and never failed to get smug at making Harry blush,

“Harry, don’t you dare blush at some foreigner like this. Merlin, why did I think it was such a good idea to spend some time apart?”

Harry shook his head in amusement,

“Well you were the one who wanted us to grow up a little and see the world, gain some experience, find our place in the world before getting bonded Tom.”

“Harry, why do you always make sense?”

Tom repeated those words again with fondness and the hand around Harry’s waist tightened when Harry smiled at him and Tom’s another hand rose to play with Harry’s hair.

“Don’t smile Harry, I am serious. You better not be clueless about someone flirting with you. Better flash that ring in your hand and if they didn’t back off, curse them to oblivion.”

It was already hard to explain to his family, hiding the fact it was a promising ring and lying that it was something he brought in the Diagon Alley to match it with Luna as she too had some necklace with the symbol of deathly hollows. They let it go after he told them it has some protective charms attached to it not that it wasn’t true as Tom had charmed the ring with various spells.

“And you Tom, you better not seduce someone just to get information or getting an advantage in politics. I promise you I will know and after that you will regret ever being born with male anatomy.”

Tom didn’t shy away from his threat but in fact was overly smug, making Harry to pout.

“I am serious Tom, if you so much as look at someone else…”

He couldn’t finish the threat as his lips was once again captured in a rough kiss, Tom’s lips playing with his, forcing him into submission as his mind always got completely blank whenever Tom kissed him like this, like to suck everything Harry was through the lips.

They broke apart and Tom moved to bit his ear, whispering,

“I am always yours and yours alone Harry just like you're mine.”

Fuck, Harry missed even these possessive words. And that was saying something about his sanity.

“And I love you too Tom”

Tom stiffened in their embrace and moved away from Harry, pulling his hands away. Harry smiled at Tom’s torn expression, knowing that Tom was beating himself around inside for not able to say those words back. Tom always looked like he didn’t deserve Harry whenever Harry said that he loved Tom. That was the main reason Tom wanted to be of someone worthy and decided to be someone worthy of Harry while being separated.

Harry found that stupid, as Tom was already enough for Harry with how he was but let it slide. For Harry knew the separation for two years was needed.

It would be hard to send owls to Tom from wherever Harry had to stay and speaking through mirror would only increase the longing. Of course, they loved each other a lot which was of no doubt but Harry knew at the same time they were sort of obsessed with each other and when they found in each other’s company, everything else faded away.

And Harry wanted Tom to grow up without Harry’s influence or sway in Tom’s decisions. He also wanted to see what kind of person Tom would change into without Harry for two or three years. And if Tom remained same, loved him the same and hadn’t for once pursued about horcrux during their separation, Harry would then tell Tom about everything about him being a seer.

They needed this time to take another step forward in their relationship…

“Come on Tom, let’s go already. I am sure Sirius with his new mood swings will be overdramatic about his cute, innocent godson missing in the big bad Hogwarts.”

With that Harry pulled him away from the corridor, walking towards the great hall.

Tom almost, almost shuddered, hearing about Harry’s godfather. He could very clearly see how protective Harry’s family was with the way Harry spoke about them. Usually, he would agree with them being protective of his Harry as he was the most precious thing in the whole world but remembering that he had to ask them to bond with Harry in coming years scared him. Almost scared him was the key word as he was Tom Marvolo Riddle and he didn’t get scared about these kind of things.

For Harry was his…

As Harry himself agreed that and a rush of desire rose in him at the memories of the times he made Harry scream Harry was Tom’s, refusing him orgasm in the throes of their passion.

But the fingers entwined with his anchored him to reality…

Tom was happy, happier than he could ever remember being. Tom hadn’t ever felt this complete. He had always felt somehow empty as if he was missing something other people had and felt things unlike normal people. But being with Harry completed him. It made him think he could almost create a patronus with just being near Harry.

And he didn’t regret ever giving up on Horcrux as he had never been this happy even while researching about Horcruxes. Being immortal appealed to him, he longed for it even now… But being immortal without Harry by his side didn’t appeal him the slightest and that startled him at first but now he knew that Harry would always be his priority even more than his desire to be immortal. And he made peace with that fact and didn’t regret it.

Tom should be glancing at the portraits and classes they crossed by as it would be the last time he roamed around Hogwarts, his home but he could not take his eyes away from the figure dragging him towards the great hall.

Hogwarts had been his home but his home had now changed, a warm house surrounded by a garden of red roses had become home to him now and he could only thank the person who now turned back to look at him with a smile, green eyes alight with what could people call as love…

Love…

A foreign concept…

And his heart filled with something akin to warmth every time Harry uttered that he loved Tom. Also it never failed to leave him with guilt as he could not say those words back and Harry never asked Tom to say it too.

He wanted to say it too…

And he knew he would say it one day when he knew what was love. After all now only he was learning what it was to be human.

Harry turned back from him to descend the stairs still holding his hand, almost dragging him along.

Tom knew Harry was hiding something from him. Of course, he had to be blind to not notice the guilty look Harry had on his face sometimes and how Harry knew about a lot of things even about Tom. Tom would usually demand or manipulate if it would have been any other person but as always this was Harry. And to be frank, Tom didn’t mind.

If Harry was the reincarnation of Merlin himself, Tom wouldn’t mind. Hell, Harry could be the demon king (of course, not possible with how pure his heart was) Tom wouldn’t give a fuck.

Harry accepted Tom along with his dark side and even forgave Tom when he was going to commit an act of evil. What more he could except from Harry?

Tom knew Harry would tell him and for that they both needed time… Two years was going to be long and hell Tom really wanted to rethink of this decision.

But they needed some time apart to learn to trust each other and believe in each other. And Tom had to become someone worthy, someone capable, someone powerful enough to protect Harry when they both bond with each other.

Harry had been there for him all these years and it was time he became someone who could be there for Harry from now on.

Harry abruptly stopped and released his hand, making Tom to frown and look around only to realize that just a turn around, they would be in great hall.

Tom could feel he happiness leaving him away as every second passed by. They had to go their separate ways.

Suddenly, Harry poked his frown lines with an adorable pout,

Harry was getting even more beautiful and Tom didn’t know what to do. And especially the green robes he wore to match his eyes made him even more alluring that Tom just wanted to eat him up.

Just wait for two years Harry; I will lock you somewhere only I have access to.

“Come on Tom, don’t be like that. After this ceremony, I will come with you, okay? We will have proper time for just two of us, okay?”

With a wink and a sexy smirk, Harry turned around the corner leaving Tom speechless.

Thank Merlin, Terror wasn’t here else Terror would tease him of how smitten he looked right now.

Tom’s happy expression morphed into a usual blank face like it usually did when Harry left his presence as soon as Tom entered the great hall. Tom moved ignoring the families of the students and walked towards where his table was.

The usual tables were absent and in replacement, there were many small round tables and chairs around it for a student and their family. And chairs magically appeared if the number of persons around a table increased, making it look so family oriented and mushy stuff.

Tom looked down at his chest to see the Prefect and Headboy badge attached to his robe which was given to him after getting the graduation scroll of Hogwarts from the headmaster who couldn’t look any more proud with his stupid twinkling eyes.

He had gotten his NEWTs result just three days before with perfect results. He looked around to see Harry sitting among with his family surrounded, chatting happily with each other.

His Harry, of course much to the fuming of Granger had different set of badges for the record he set in OWLs and NEWTs. Everyone was surprised to hear that Harry wasn’t interested in any jobs and instead was travelling around in search of studying different magic.

When he reached around the table where Avery sat, he was for the first time thankful towards someone other than Harry. When he arrived here this morning, he was a little depressed to find that he was the only one who was an orphan and didn’t even have relatives. It sort of sent a deep pang in him to which Avery and Nott left their family members to sit with him.

Tom watched them fighting over the remaining dessert and stopped arguing when they spotted him,

“Oh, how was visiting your favourite castle one more time Tom?”

“Or should we ask how it was with a certain green eyed person you…”

Avery shut up when Tom glared at him murderously. He still had a hold on them but they were getting quite friendly with him and the new habit of teasing him irritated Tom to no end.

Tom shook his head when they went straight back to who can have the last piece of dessert. With how much they argued, it was a miracle they still remained as a couple. Well, it was no wonder some pairs were like that and by hearing about Granger’s lecture on table manners to Ronald Weasley in the background proved it all the more.

Harry smiled at Draco who sat across him where Lucius Malfoy was going on and on about the importance of his future carrier and turned towards his family, who all had finished the food and decided to go home as the ceremony had ended an hour ago.

Harry glanced around to catch a glimpse of Tom, ignoring his family members moving outside along with the Malfoys. Harry reluctantly turned around and moved towards them,

“Father, you guys go, I will meet up with my friend and then come home.”

Sirius all of a sudden looked suspicious,

“Who is this friend you keep going to see Harry?”

“Siri, come on stop treating me like a baby.”

“But, but… you're my baby.”

Harry would have glared if not for the fact Sirius really did mean what he said, with teary eyes and a hand on his stomach.

Sirius was being overly emotional and with a month as a due for the child, he was behaving extra dramatically.

For example, sulking that he was carrying a baby on the day Harry graduated because Sirius had been planning on dropping off Harry with his flying motorcycle in a grand entry which Sirius admitted of planning years before. And Harry had to thank the baby that he was saved from that.

Remus moved to Sirius and put a hand on his shoulder.

“See Rem, My baby is all grown up now that he doesn’t want his godfather anymore.”

Harry groaned burying his face in his palms when Remus muttered sweet nothings to calm Sirius all the while moving towards one of the empty carriages and helping him to sit on it so they could go outside of the gate to apparate.

Harry too sat with them as he could wait outside for Tom so they could apparate and assured Sirius that he was just seeing his friends for a little while as he could not anymore while he travel around which brought another fresh set of tears from Sirius eyes as he was not happy with his godson going away for months.

Harry looked back at the beautiful castle one last time and he could almost see grinning Godric and smirking Salazar waving at him. Harry shook his head, not wanting to get depressed in this happy occasion.

Remus had a patience of a saint and he was extra soft and doting towards Sirius. Remus indulged almost every whim of Sirius, like that one time when he wanted to prank the ministry official which Harry and Remus would never go into detail ever.

But it was sort of nice to see them happy and in love. Soon the carriage reached the gate. They got off the carriage and Harry hugged Siri gently, minding the stomach but just as tightly.

Because it was not safe anymore to apparate but Sirius had decided to endure the train ride all the way and from there transport was arranged as it would be unsafe to apparate so Remus along with his family was one of the few decided to ride the Hogwarts train instead of apparating.

Sirius being here meant a lot to Harry, even going through all this meant a lot to Harry. Sirius made everything in his life better and he owed everything to Sirius even his life. Sirius looked so proud when Harry went to the stage to get his graduation scroll.

“Ok, ok, you go and meet that friend of yours and I go and settle in a compartment before your godson start his kicking session.”

And that meant even more to Harry that Sirius decided that Harry would be the child’s godfather. Man, today was getting over emotional.

Remus with a smile to them, escorted Sirius to the train and Narcissa who got from the carriage behind them helped Remus with a glare towards Lucius who silently followed her.

But of course, Harry Potter over protection squad remained with a suspicious look. Thankfully, Draco’s words made them ease up on him,

“Come on, Harry is nineteen for Merlin’s sake. He is going to travel around the world in few weeks. He wants to goof around some more in Hogsmeade with his friends or something. You guys were worse when you graduated so ease up on him.”

Alex and Alice remained suspicious and he could almost see Alice gaze shifting towards the ring on his finger. She was not easily convinced but he was not that easy either as he had countless times countered back whenever she cast the chastity spell on him. Merlin, they would skin Tom alive if they knew about their relationship. They both needed time and until then he would hide it from his family.

They both seemed still reluctant but one glare from their father, they both scurried off towards the train while Draco followed them after giving Harry a wink.

Merlin, Draco was the best friend anyone could ask for.

His father hugged him, kissing the top of his forehead, making Harry pout a little that even if he grew taller he was still smaller than his father.

“I am so proud Harry… so proud and I trust you to come home safe, ok?”

Harry could feel guilt rise in him but squashed it before he let everything out.

With a final pat on his hair, James moved to the train and Harry looked around the train station, walked aimlessly in search of Tom but soon he found a hand circling around his waist before he was apparated to a familiar house.

Harry let out a breath as he always hated travelling like this and whirled around to glare at Tom…

But soon his glare was replaced with smile when Tom smiled at him so genuinely and so openly.

“Come on, let’s celebrate… Just the two of us”

Harry allowed himself to be dragged in the path that was surrounded by red roses, the smell of it so familiar and comforting, doubling his happiness.

They might have to go their separate ways tomorrow in search of their future…

But today, he knew Tom would not let him out of sight even for a second once they went inside the house. Not that he complained…

It almost seemed to be an end but he knew that this was just an end of their school chapter as the next stage of life had already begun.

But the hand tugging towards the house reminded him that he was not alone in this and they would be together in whatever life threw their way.

 

********END*******

(But not ‘the end’ as I will be writing extra chapters about their future when I have time)

 

~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~

(A/N: Finally, I finished this somehow. And also a little information: the nightmare Tom had at the start of the chapter was alternative ending if Tom did choose horcruxes over Harry.

So, how was it? I hope I didn’t disappoint you all with the last chapter. Please do let me know with your comments.

And I am really sorry for all the grammatical and spelling mistakes I've made so far. I know that some of you must have been annoyed with my English. I tried my best and I do think that my English improved at least a little bit from how it was in Prologue to the last chapter.

Also, Thank you to all those who left kudos, comments this fic. The comments are what kept me going no matter how long and hard the chapters became to write. So, thank you to all those who followed this fic so far.

Another little information: the story was supposed to be a dark one as I first planned by making Sirius dead after he fell through the veil but I decided against it and this fic turned out to be fluffy as hell.

As I did say that this will not be the end. I had extras planned about their future. And I will post it when I have time to write the extra chapters if people wanted me to continue this.

Nice meeting you all…

It is not a good bye as I will see you all soon with Extras. Look forward to it…

Until then,

………Nandhu……..)