Chapter Text
Peter slowly realized as time went on after having been bitten, that he had gained more spider traits than just being able to stick to a wall or sense when danger was nearby (but was that even a spider trait? He didn't think spiders had the ability to sense impending apocolpyses like he could. Either way, it was useful).
For one, he was scarily strong now. That was okay though, and actually pretty useful, because those AP textbooks were nightmares and it was getting hard for him to carry them before. Now only his backpack was tearing and not his arm muscles. Yay.
His canines got a little sharper too, which he was a little iffy about, but Ned thought it was hilarious when he would bite down on things with them, and they weren't sharp enough to really look like noticeable fangs. He could live with it. Even though Ned insisted on referring to them as "baby fangs."
After that, things got a little… weird, though.
There were some things that he didn't even talk to Ned about. He was worried that after a certain point it officially became Weird and not Cool. Since he didn't talk to Ned about it, there was no way he was going to mention any of it to Aunt May. He could never let anyone find out about it.
That is, until he realized all of these weird abilities could definitely pass for some weird shit posts.
And Mr. Stark had finally let him make an official Spider-Man Twitter.
@HardcoreParkour: I have decided chewing is officially too much effort. From henceforth I shall release a venom that will melt all my food into a convenient liquid that I will drink out of a bendy straw.
Peter smiled after clicking “post” and set his phone down, sipping what used to be a bag of potato chips and sitting down to finish his Physics homework.
Eventually, after an hour of doing homework, he set his pencil down and got up to take a break.
Might as well check the retweets on that post, he thought, reaching for his phone.
He pulled up Twitter and went to check his notification, before nearly dropping his phone in horror.
He had just posted that on his personal account.
Shit.
This is exactly why Mr. Stark hadn't wanted him to make a Spider-Man page in the first place. He was going to kill him.
Scrolling through the retweets reluctantly, he realized the damage wasn't actually too bad. It seemed like it was going to end up his most popular tweet, with 347 retweets already, but most of the comments people added were just “mood” or “same,” with a very nice “what the fuck penis” from Flash mixed in. He could always count on him to keep it real.
Everyone seemed to only think it was a shit post. This was manageable.
He was just deciding what to tell Mr. Stark when he inevitably found about this when Ned texted him.
NedsDeclassified : Okay, #1, can you actually do that? Like, release venom and melt food? That's so cool
#2 you do know you posted that on your peter account right?
SpideyBoi : I can actually do that, but the people of Twitter don’t know that ;;)
SpideyBoi: I will become a shit post God with spider memes
NedsDeclassified: it was a total accident wasn't it
SpideyBoi: Yes oh my God mr. S is gonna kill me
NedsDeclassified: Nice knowing you
SpideyBoi: Betrayal
NedsDeclassified: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That wasn't helpful at all.
He was actually going to die.