Work Text:
It might not be all the way politically correct, but a part of me actually believes that no one can get all the way through medical school without going at least a little bit gay.
JD leaned on the counter at a nurse's station, halfway through flipping through a chart but temporarily distracted by a young male patient, a gown over his tight muscled frame, shuffling by. The back of the gown was wide open. Perfect bubble butt.
A helpful nurse twitched the gown closed. JD, grinning, went back to work.
Maybe it's just me. But something happened about halfway through med school. I stopped seeing gender and just started seeing Hot or Ugo. Interesting or Not Interesting.
Maybe it's because I spent so much time studying the human body in books. Very few of those diagrams were unattractive, male or female. So eventually--at least for me--bodies of both sexes stopped being anything but machines. And the thing about machines is that, sure, they all eventually break down. But when they work, there's pleasure to be had.
Carla arrived on the other side of the counter with a stack of files. She grinned at JD. "You know, Bambi, when you're happy to see a patient's bare ass, it's a pretty good sign you need to have a night out."
JD snickered, adopting a scholarly pose and looking up into the middle distance, "That or it's just one of those exquisite rare asses you see about once in a generation."
"Well that ass? is right here," Carla said with a motion to her own, "And it sure wasn't what you were drooling over a second ago, so get it together." She snapped her fingers.
JD groaned.
"Last sex, Bambi. Come on," Carla ordered.
"Carla," JD assumed a clutch-my-pearls attitude, "This is the workplace. So inappropriate!"
"I'm doing you a solid, Bambi. New doctors get so caught up. You neglect yourselves. First comes groping with your eyes, and then your words. Next thing you know you're actually using your hands and saying it's OK I'm a doctor . And you don't want to be that guy, Bambi, trust me."
JD did trust her. And what she said scared him. He sighed.
"How long has it been?" she asked again.
"I guess it's been a while," JD hedged.
"Not since MRI girl, am I right?"
Except I never slept with MRI girl. No one knew that--except maybe the creepy janitor--so the truth was, it'd been even longer than that.
"Not since," JD began and his eyes widened. "Crap."
Jordan .
Carla smirked. "Maybe now you'll pay attention to your needs. Hungry dogs gotta eat."
JD walked away from the nurses station, mind reeling. He couldn't believe it.
How was it possible that the last sex he had was a hospital bed quickie with the ex wife of his mentor who was at the time still a patient of this hospital?
Maybe Carla was right and I was on the fast track to being a creep. The last sex I'd had before Jordan was…
Is it bad I literally can't do the math because I don't know?
JD walked the halls, eyes tilted up toward the ceiling as he tried to count back the notches on his figurative bed post. Did wet dreams count? Because he had that whopper of a one about Elliot right after meeting her…
No, doesn't count…
Was it that quickie with the girl across the hall before finals when he finished way before she did? Wait, no, Nick Murdock went down on him in a cab after graduation… But that had been drunk and sloppy and hardly satisfying.
And come to think of it, that time with Jordan had been mostly painful and terrifying and immediately afterwards, he feared for his life and told a lie to Dr. Cox that could still at any minute come to light and result in his instant death.
So, not very relaxing.
Let's see. The last actually good sex I've had… .
JD stopped. Crestfallen.
Have I ever had good sex?
*
JD slammed things around in the locker room. After a hellishly long shift, he still couldn't come up with one single sexual encounter in his past to be proud of. Hell, he couldn't even come up with enough to use all his fingers when counting them. And even then he had to go all the way back to eighth grade and count the time he touched Cindy McClearlys bare thigh in gym class and came in his shorts.
26 year old bisexual. A joke in bed.
JD opened his locker door just for the satisfaction of slamming it closed again. This time was hard enough to rock the whole bank of lockers. A sharp whistle pierced the enclosed space of the locker room. JD jumped back, and his legs hit the bench. He barely saved himself from being brained on the opposite bank of lockers.
Dr. Cox came around the corner, arms crossed high and tight, eyes wild with anger, "What the hell are you trying to do, Betty? Level the hospital? I grant you it's a dump but for goodness sake, can you at least get the women and children out before you let the hulk smash?"
"Bruce Banner was the hulk," JD snapped, "Betty was his girlfriend."
Dr. Cox leaned on JD's locker, "I know that. So go on, girlfriend. What's got your panties in a bunch?"
Considering the delicate nature of the subject, JD considered not sharing. He really did. For all of three seconds.
"You ever had sex and it's like yes I'm having sex, hell yeah it's so good! but then, later, you look back at it? and it's? … Like?… Not all that great?"
Dr. Cox swiped at his nose, smirking a little, "Are you asking me if I've ever had nerdy pity sex and assumed it's good, only to later realize it was whimpering missionary sex that lasted all of two minutes?"
"Thanks for nothing," JD headed out, but Dr. Cox whistled again.
"It's this freaking job," JD exploded with no further provocation. He turned back to his mentor. "I mean, it took me ten years of so much focus and work that I didn't date all that much. I made that sacrifice just to get to here. Right now. And now--SURPRISE!" he laughed hysterically. "I'm so busy I don't even have anything to sacrifice! I truly don't know if I've ever even had good sex in my entire life. And this job isn't going to let up enough to allow me to focus on that any time soon!"
Dr. Cox blinked, mouth a little o.
"You don't know if you've had good sex?" Dr. Cox repeated. He looked like a boy on Christmas morning, lit up with joy from the inside. He let out a high almost girlish snort giggle and then descended into full chested laughter. "You don't know if... ?" he howled and howled and finally calmed with his fingers laced behind his head. He sighed. He was beaming, "Ah, hell, Newbie, you must have nothing but a string of truly pathetic sexual episodes under your belt if you don't know if it was good or not!"
Vulnerable, self conscious and filled with regret, JD crossed his arms, "How do you know for sure when it's good?"
Dr. Cox leveled him with a look that was one part his usual condescending scold and one part how you look at a confused puppy too precious to live. "Oh, honey bee, you'll just know."
"But how do you make time to know someone well enough to…" he made inelegant hand motions.
"Know them?" Dr. Cox's brows touched. "Who said anything about knowing them, Newbie?"
"It's just that of my experiences, the best times were with people I'd known a while beforehand. Really connected with."
Dr. Cox hung his head to one side, a truly pained expression, "For god's sake, Miss Lonely in Seattle. We're not looking for marriage. It's aaaaall about the sex. And only. The Sex. You can hate the very fiber of their being , but the sex can be just," he rushed out a breath, "extraordinary."
"Really?"
"Sure. Why else would I sometimes still throw a bone to the she-beast known as Jordan?"
JD frowned and shrugged, "Maybe you still love her deep down?"
Dr. Cox glared.
"Way deep down."
"Listen to me, JD. Love is not the goal. Love slows you down. The only thing you need is good sex, good friends, and your work."
"I'm not sure that's right."
He growled. Literally growled. "You take my word on everything else as gospel, newbie, why the hell are you challenging me now?"
I'll always remember this as the moment our relationship changed from mentor and mentee to something more.
"Because I think you want to be loved as much as anyone else. You just hide behind the macho stuff." JD held his breath, wide eyed, waiting to be gutted.
But Dr. Cox huffed and even smiled a little.
"Come on," he tilted his head toward the door. "Let's grab a beer."
*
Dr. Cox had volunteered to be my wingman. This could be the beginning of a long and glorious friendship. Helping each other get chicks. Swapping stories. I could not under any circumstances screw this up.
"I have sex with guys, too," JD blurted. Unfortunately he wasn't facing or even looking at Dr. Cox when the confession jumped out of him. He was facing the attractive male bartender, who was pouring their shots.
The guy--way out of JDs league--threw him a Fuck Off look and moved away. Blushing, JD turned toward his mentor. Dr. Cox was looking at him like he had two heads, shot glass poised an inch from his lips.
"Good god, Newbie, if that's how you hit on people, it's a wonder you've gotten your jollies off with anyone at all ever!"
"I wasn't hitting on him. That was meant for you."
Dr. Cox slammed down the shot glass. "Newbie, I swear to god if you're hitting on me--"
"No, no, not like that. I mean. I just thought you should know. You know, as my wing man." JD lifted his hands shoulder high, palms out, waved them half heartedly and softly sang, "FYI, I'm bi."
A nervous laugh tripped out of his lips.
Dr. Cox just rolled his eyes, and knocked back his shot.
"You're not surprised," JD observed.
"Of course not."
"So all the gay jokes and misgendering is what? Actual homophobia?"
"Get your head out of your ass," Dr. Cox snarled.
"So it's what? Your way of showing affection?"
It had been meant as a sarcastic return but the reaction it got made JD's eyes widen. He made a triumphant cry and laughed, "Oh my god. It is!"
"Go to hell," Dr. Cox said. He knocked back another shot and spoke next down into the empty glass, kind of gruffly, "It's not like anyone gets out of med school completely straight anyway."
JD, halfway through his first shot, choked it out all over the bar.
Dr. Cox lazily whacked him on the back a couple of times. Hard enough to whiplash. The bartender returned, dumped a bunch of napkins in front of JD with a scowl, and then went back to keeping his distance.
"You're bi, too?" JD wheezed, windpipe seizing up, words like razor blades through his tight throat.
Dr. Cox didn't dignify that with an actual answer. He did have a third shot, though.
"Slow down. Geeze," JD took the forth and last shot from his mentor and put it out of reach. "It's cool. I won't tell anyone."
"I'm not ashamed of who I am," Dr. Cox snapped. "And I'm def-hef-ently not afraid of a school girl like you telling tales about me to all your little girlfriends. What I'm trying to do is help you get out of your pathetic dry spell so that's gonna require me getting dra-hunk. I'm talking absolutely slobbered. So stinking soused I can actually endure being seen with the bar moron."
"Hey," JD said, wounded.
"What about her?" Dr. Cox discreetly motioned to a blond in the corner. JD looked. She was a bombshell. He very much approved.
He met Dr. Cox's eye, and they shared a smile of approval.
"You have good taste, sir."
Dr. Cox had gotten the shot glass back. He grinned, winked, "Go get em, tiger."
As I marched confidently up to a woman that was about a thousand miles out of my league, I realized I didn't care if I struck out or not. In fact, I almost wanted to strike out so I could go back to the bar for all of the Go Get Em, Tigers that Dr. Cox had to offer.
"Hi," JD said to her. She turned to him and looked him over head to toe. To his surprise, she didn't dismiss him but dropped her head to the side a little in that cute way girls do and grinned.
"Hi."
"I'm JD. John Dorian. A doctor. I'm a doctor."
She bit her lip and giggled, "Hi, Dr. JD. I'm Bella."
"Bella. That's pretty. You're pretty."
She giggled. JD looked over her shoulder back at the bar. Dr. Cox had twirled his barstool around and was watching. JD gave him a discreet thumbs up. He lifted his glass, a proud beaming smile.
That was the moment I knew Dr. Cox was going to be the best friend I ever had.
Bella put a hand on his shoulder, moving in close. His blood went up. Her eyes were so pretty.
"So," she said in a sexy voice. "I usually charge by the hour. But for a handsome doctor like you, I'll name a price that'll get you whatever you want for the entire night."
Record scratch.
"You're a prostitute?!" JD laughed nervously and stepped away.
Over at the bar. Dr. Cox howled, slapping the bar and laughing himself red in the face.
I hate him.
*
The next morning, JD walked into Sacred Heart, feeling like hammered shit.
After the prostitute debacle, Dr. Cox encouraged me to take a chance on a few more girls. I struck out on three but then the last one actually laughed at my jokes and when I asked if she was a prostitute, she said, "No but I'm sure only hookers have laughed at those jokes before me."
"So why laugh if you're not after my money?"
"I'm just a whore for puns like that."
We talked for about twenty minutes and then she asked me to take her home.
If only it had ended as well as it started.
The hospital was too crowded and loud for the hangover JD had. Of course, Turk danced through the front doors as energetic as ever. His tennis shoes glided effortlessly over the tacky tile floor. Legs and arms flowed and popped and locked. JD lifted an arm palm out and Turk slapped his palm into place.
"Somebody's having a good morning," JD chuckled through his headache.
"Dude," Turk was beaming. "This being in love thing is for real insane."
"In the good way I hope," JD smirked.
Turk leaned in, serious expression, "You know I never joke around about God and stuff right?" JD nodded. Turk's eyes glittered. "But I was with Carla all night. Dude, I think I actually saw my lord and Savior at one point and he was going like this," he threw his arms up like a cheerleader and then started doing cheerleading moves, "Let's go Christopher, let's go!" he clapped three times.
JD broke down into snorting giggles and offered another high five.
"What about you? How was your night?"
"Crazy weird," JD admitted. Elliot joined them, falling right into stride with a chirpy good morning. "I went out for drinks with Dr. Cox as my wing man."
"Wait what?" Elliot asked.
"Dr. Cox?" Turk asked. "You went drinking with that lunatic?"
"What's he like in the real world?" Elliot asked, breathless and eyes wide.
He's bisexual and three times as cruel. "Meaner," JD murmured.
They laughed. "Did he sabotage every chance you had with someone?"
"Well he encouraged me to hit on a prostitute."
They died laughing.
"What's so funny?" Carla approached. Turk caught her up. She snickered and laughed with them.
"Haha," JD sneered.
"But after that, did he help?" she asked.
JD shrugged. "He did introduce me to this one girl. Charlotte."
"And?"
"And I couldn't trust she was actually into me and kept asking her if she was a prostitute until she got mad and threw me out of the cab we were in to her place."
They all cracked up again.
"So he did sabotage you with the ladies," Turk said. "He got in your mind."
"Wait a minute what about with the fellas?" Carla asked.
Elliot snorted, "Come on, JD doesn't broadcast his preferences to that homophobe. He's not crazy."
Carla put a hand on her hip and jutted a finger at him. "Dr. Cox hasn't harassed you into some kind of closet has he? Because I swear I'll--"
"You'll what, Carla?" a deeper voice behind Carla and Turk made them both jump and whirl. Neither JD nor Elliot had seen Dr. Cox coming due to the extra large frame that Turk and Carla made when they glued themselves together like they did.
Dr. Cox wore dark shades in doors and had a to go cup of coffee in one hand. "Were you going to say that you'll personally grab me by the balls and haul me out of my own bisexual closet? Be-he-cause I've got news for YEW," he bent forward at the waste a little and stage whispered, "I don't give a crap if you do tell the world what I told you," he made quotations with his fingers, " hin confidence . Because you must know by now that when I took ya out and bought ya dinner and got all weepy as I told ya about it, I only asked you to keep it a secret as a means to make you feel like we had a super intimate bond and maybe that would help me get in your panties."
"You're gay?" Elliot asked bluntly and loudly.
Dr. Cox whistled loud and sharp and pointed at her without looking at her, "It's called bisexuality, sweetheart and if you don't understand what the word means maybe you can go back over your junior high diaries when you wrote all about how tingly you got when your best gal pal changed into her pajamas in front of you at the sleepover that one time."
Elliott rolled her lips and looked down. Eyes wide. She ran off.
Carla's nostrils flared, "I can't believe you pretended like it was some big secret! I haven't told anyone for three years! Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?"
"Aw, can it," Dr. Cox said, waggling his head back and forth. "Because I don't care."
"I--"
"Don't care!"
"You--"
"Don't care!"
Turk put his arm around her shoulders. "Let's just go, baby."
JD tried to slip away. But Dr. Cox cornered him. He really was huge when he wanted to be.
" Please ," he said and it actually sounded sincere, " Please tell me you nailed that brunette last night. You did, didn't you? Oh god don't tell me you fell so madly in love with her you decided to wait until the timing was just so right before you give her your flower? Because if you did, newbie, I swear I'm going to reach down your throat and rip your heart out with my bare hand."
I knew I had to tell him the truth or our burgeoning friendship was going to fail.
"We banged," JD lied. "We banged so hard and for so long I saw God and he was going like this," JD started doing cheerleader moves, "Way to go, JD! Way to go!" Clap clap clap.
Dr. Cox removed his sunglasses. His eyes were bloodshot and filled with hate. "Why are you lying to me?"
"You scare me," JD said in a small voice. That warranted a growl. Dr. Cox pinned him with a look that promised pain and walked away.
*
In the break room, JD took a few minutes to recline on the couch and rest his eyes. Some lunch and plenty of water had helped with the hangover. Work had distracted him from everything else.
He didn't hear anyone coming so startled when someone vaulted over the back of the couch and landed in a sitting position at his feet. Of course it was Dr. Cox.
"OK so I've been thinking," he said.
"Go away," JD plead.
"I expected too much out of ya to think ya could successfully hook up with a chick on the first date."
JD sighed and pulled himself upright.
Dr. Cox turned to face him more by putting a leg up under himself. "Women are complicated and most of them have standards. So here's what we're going to do. You're going to focus on men for a while. Practice casual sex with guy after guy until you have no doubt in your mind that you know what a mind blowing orgasm feels like."
"Ugh."
Dr. Cox blinked in surprise. "Wait just a minute, Helen. Guys want to have sex. Guys like to have sex. It's real easy to get a guy to take his pants off. If you haven't found that to be true, then maybe you're not actually into men at all! Maybe you're not even a man! Maybe your a lesbian in a freakish man boy body."
"I am into men. I've slept with men and I feel like I am a man on the inside of my normal man body, OK? I know guys with guys is easier in some ways. But… also… in other ways, it's not so easy."
"The hell is that supposed to mean, newbie? There is only one way to pick up a guy. You just look at them, and if they're into it, that's it! That's all you have to do!"
"Maybe for studs like you, but it's actually not that easy for guys like me. The only men who respond to me assume I'm gonna," he lowered his voice and raised his eyebrows, " Receive ."
Dr. Cox blinked, shortening his chin. Smile gone. His eyes swept over JD. "You don't bottom?"
"No," JD said defensively. His blood went up and it was either from that sweep of those eyes or from the infuriating topic of discussion. He threw his arms up, going a little hysterical, "I don't! Why does everyone assume that I do?"
"Beeee-cause you're a high voiced, swishy hipped, willowy, pale young man."
Swishy hipped?
JD supposed he did have a natural swish in his hips as he walked. A kind of sexy side to side swing that was most evident whenever he felt confident enough to strut around the hospital. Which was often enough these days.
"So, Rebecca, you're telling me that you are exclusively a Top?"
"Yes." the rest came out without his permission, "At least, I'd like to be. But like I said, in the past, all the guys I've been into made assumptions and... I just went with it."
Dr. Cox laughed outright. He looked like he had finally cracked the mysterious code. "No wonder you've always had bad sex!"
"Hey, could you keep it down?" JD hissed. But the break room was still empty.
"Tell me this, Lucy. When you're in the bedroom--with male or female--do you ever do anything you actually want to do?"
"Of course."
Dr. Cox raised his eyebrows.
"I mean… mostly… "
The eyebrows went even higher.
JD barely resisted the urge to stomp his foot. He did throw his arms down in a tantrum-like move. "How the hell am I supposed to just ask for stuff like that?"
Dr. Cox crossed his arms. "Stuff like what?"
"I don't know. Stuff."
"Newbie, under the category of Stuff, there is a very wide, very dark horizon filled with all manner of kinky or degrading acts. Be more specific. "
"I don't know… just… like… ok when we're going, it'd be nice if… if like… I don't know. If the other person would… Like…let me…"
Dr. Cox stared intently, waiting impatiently. Getting angrier. JD wished he knew what the hell he was trying to say.
"If it could all just be a bit more… if I could… It's all really about nuances isn't it?" he asked.
"Oh for Fuck sake, JD. What are you into? Strangling? Pretending to be a baby? Panties? What?"
"Control." JD blurted out. Because, geeze, it sounded way less weird coming after all those guesses.
Dr. Cox settled back into the couch cushions. Looking pleased, "Ah. Well that's easy enough, newbie. If you want control then just take it."
"No one wants to be controlled by prey. They want a predator."
"You're the prey?"
"Well yeah look at me. Willowy. Like you said."
"You're only a stereotype if you let the stereotype define you."
"Ok." JD said. He still felt lost.
"I've seen you take control in a medical emergency. You can command a room. Just do that."
"That's work. It's way different."
Dr. Cox smiled, "Good sex is just like work, newbie. It's more work than actual work is work. It's exhausting. When you're about to have sex, you need to be thinking of it as a job to do. A goal to meet." He began shaking his head, eyes wide in disbelief. "Or do you honestly think it's all about lazily smashing body parts together until something magically happens all on its own?"
"I know what sex is supposed to be like. But my problem isn't the physical stuff. It's people. I don't… I just don't have the, you know, the dominant personality. Usually."
"Alright. Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"Just shut up and follow."
*
As I followed Dr. Cox I thought about what he'd said about defying stereotypes and taking control without asking permission. It seemed simple, but I knew better from experience. Real life was never simple. People--not just women--were complicated. And for whatever reason, when it came to sex, my instinct was to be polite. And being polite meant the guest picked the games. And weren't sexual partners just guests in your pants?
JD didn't hesitate to follow his mentor into the on call room, but he did wonder what the plan was. Then Dr. Cox locked the door.
"What's happening?" JD asked. There were beds in here. They were alone. A part of him had an idea, but he didn't think it could be correct.
Dr. Cox, though, had him pinned with his eyes--a very different look in them than usual--as he shrugged out of his white coat. "You're exclusively a top, right? Well, what do ya know, I'm exclusively a bottom." He pulled off his t-shirt next. He was too gorgeous to be real. Sculpted muscle. Just the right amount of hair.
"You're in a dry spell. I'm in a dry spell. And I'm feeling generous. So let's just break each other off real quick so I can go home and drink until I forget this ever happened."
JD crossed his arms. "You really know how to make a guy feel wanted."
"JD," Dr. Cox had his warning voice on. "Your window to take control of this situation and make your fantasy come true is closing fast." He made a hinge out of his palms and started to close them together.
"OK!" JD said quickly. "Um." He made a grab and grip motion as if The Control was a physical object. "There! Haha! I have the control!"
Dr. Cox dropped his hands and rolled his head back. Looking pained. "Oh god, you're such a dork."
"Shut up," JD snapped, still holding his imaginary role up in the air.
To his surprise. Dr. Cox shut up. He even ever so slightly adopted more of an attentive stance.
JD wouldn't doubt it if this was all a joke. Were cameras hidden somewhere?
"You really are a bottom?" JD asked.
"Yes."
"Even with women?"
"Yes."
"How does that work?"
Dr. Cox snickered. "You don't know anything at all, do you? Being a top has nothing to do with having a penis, numb nuts. Tell me, are you actually just a virgin pretending to have more experience than she actually does?"
"If you're a bottom, prove it."
"Well, skipper, that's what I'm trying to do. But ya won't stop yappin."
Heart pounding, JD realized it would be extremely easy to have his way with his mentor. And hardly weird at all. He took two bold strides forward. Dr. Cox didn't move. They were practically chest to chest. JD took hold of the other man's face--and kissed him.
There was a beat, and then Dr. Cox kissed back. It was a good kiss. Firm and eager. Hands roamed. JD really liked the contrast of his clothed body against Dr. Cox's bare torso. Who had the power now?
JD wanted to dance a silly dance. Instead, he focused on his new job of having control and pushed Dr. Cox down onto one of the beds. The man landed--and smiled up at him. No anger. No blustering. Just a horny merriment to match JD's own.
Climbing into the bed over a reclined half naked Dr. Cox wasn't nearly as weird as JD would have thought.
*
So that really happened .
JD sat stunned in the floor against the side of the bed. Dr. Cox elbowed into his t shirt and stepped back into his scrub pants.
"Awesome," JD said, bringing up a knee to rest an elbow on and cradling his forehead between thumb and forefinger. "That was awesome."
"4 out of 10, Judith," Dr. Cox shrugged back into his white coat. For all the world he was the same mean jackass that terrorized the halls. Not the guy with his face in the pillow, slamming his hole back on JD's hard cock.
JD scrambled to his feet. He was dressed from the waist up. Just his boxer briefs from the waist down.
"What? You were just ass up and begging me a minute ago!"
"Yeah," Dr. Cox grumbled. He was pissed. "But were ya listenin' at all?"
"Yeah," JD smirked smugly at the memory. "It was hot stuff."
"Yet I ended up still having to do it all my damn self." He patted JD on the shoulder. "Room for improvement, Tiger."
The lock on the door turned over, and Dr. Cox was gone. JD hurried to find his pants and step into them.
What just happened?
*
An hour later, JD was just starting to think the whole thing was a weird wet dream. He was asleep on that break room couch, sporting a semi that others were crowding around to gawk at and snicker.
Had to be.
Elliot came scurrying into the patient room where JD was reviewing the chart of a coma patient with Carla taking vitals. She ducked and hid. JD started to ask questions, but she shushed him. A moment later, Dr. Cox stormed past the door, yelling at Doug for seemingly no other reason than breathing.
When he was gone, Elliot breathed out. "Dr. Cox has been on a rampage since lunch. Someone seriously pissed him off."
Carla giggled. "Jordan probably came by, fluffed him up, and then left him hanging. She used to do it all the time."
Elliot kind of groan sighed in a wistful regretful way. "Why can't I have that kind of power over men?"
"You're too eager to please, sweetie. Jordan is a selfish lover. She's all take. No give." Carla taped down the fresh IV in the coma patient's arm and smiled. "And I think she does a lot of it on purpose. She likes to torture him."
"So we all have to suffer?" Elliot squeaked. "I'm terrified to go out there."
JD frowned at Carla. "Hey, when were you going to tell me Dr. Cox is bisexual?"
"Never," the nurse shrugged. "I thought it was a big secret. The jerk."
"Oh yeah, how weird is that?" Elliot asked. "He seems so homophobic."
"Well it's possible he is homophobic," Carla said. "He is not exactly the kind of guy who actually likes himself."
"Do you think he's into men who are like Jordan?" Elliot tilted her head and looked pensive. "Powerful, domineering and super mean? Men who make him do as he's told until he's begging for it?"
Carla looked disturbed. "Ew, Elliot. Stop picturing it."
"I'm not!" she shrilled.
"You so are," Carla challenged.
"I have to go." JD left the patient's room.
*
OK, Dorian, if you want it, then just take it. Take control. Command the room. Defy the stereotype. You have a job to do. A goal to meet. So do it.
JD lectured himself all the way through to the end of his shift and then all the way home. Most of the way through his shower--he got a little distracted there--and then all the way through getting dressed and going back out. And straight to Dr. Cox's place.
When the door opened, Dr. Cox looked briefly surprised and then irritated. "Go away."
"I can do better than a 4. Let me in."
Dr. Cox glowered and then moved aside. JD stepped in, instantly removing his coat and stepping out of his shoes.
Dr. Cox walked straight for the liquor counter in the back of the room.
"No," JD said firmly. "I want you sober."
Dr. Cox turned and crossed his arms, chin up and a cruel grin. "Ya sure that's wise? Last time I had ya sober, it was so disappointing I wanted to kill you. Literally I wanted to strangle the life outta ya."
He was advancing, eyes fiery with his rage, hands miming the strangling action in mid air. "Do you have any idea what you did? I'm a bottom so desperate for a top that the minute I learned you weren't another bottom like me but were, in fact, a Top, I tossed you a bone. You of all people. A pathetic sniveling intern. And you--" he laughed, that wild man delirious laugh of his. "Ya got me halfway there and then just dropped the ball!"
"I'm sorry," JD said gently. "I didn't realize what exactly you needed out of me. That it was more than just. You know. The mechanics."
Dr. Cox covered his face and turned away with a laugh. "You are so hopeless, JD. I swear there is probably not another human being on earth that needs these things spelled out for them like this! Are you a sexual idiot? Is that even a thing? Because it seems like a thing. Because I know you're not an actual idiot. You're a pretty good doctor. Yet somehow when it comes to sex it's like--" he tossed his arms up in the air.
"I'm a fast learner," JD said. "I can make you proud."
"I'm just not sure, JD." Dr. Cox said with so much sass that JD temporarily got sidetracked wondering how it was he never realized what a bottom this man really truly was.
JD crossed the room, grabbed Dr. Cox --no, Perry. He'll be Perry when he's like this--grabbed Perry by the ears and kissed him. JD put all he had into the kiss, backing Perry up until they hit a wall and then he pressed in even more.
Perry kissed back with the same fervor as he had in the on call room. A bottom so desperate for a top.
You have a job to do, Dorian.
When their lips parted, Perry was absolutely breathless. JD smirked. "I've done a lot more kissing than fucking. So I know I'm good at that."
"That's something only a sexual idiot would say," Perry panted but he was smiling.
JD wrapped his fingers in Perry's curls. He kissed him, putting a little bite into it. Relishing the little hum it pulled out of the other man.
"Who's the bigger idiot?" JD asked against Perry's lips. "The sexual idiot or the guy sucking the sexual idiot's balls?"
Perry actually blushed. For real. JD figured if he could keep the blushes coming he'll know he's on the right track toward his goal. With the hand in Perry's hair, JD guided him down onto his knees.
He went down easily but as JD opened his jeans, Perry looked up and had sincere eyes. "Safe word's Red, skipper."
He said it so damn gently. So beautifully.
Literally, my heart hurt just looking at him in that moment, he was so amazingly different from the man I had so far known. He was Perry.
Just Perry.
"Uh. Yeah, Red. Got it." JD really didn't think he had it in him just yet to get all the way to needing a safe word. Not when it was obvious how experienced Perry was. But he appreciated the step of safety. The trust.
So much trust.
He stroked a thumb down the side of Perry's face. Perry leaned into the touch. A smile on his lips like a kid about to be given a candy feast. JD's chest was hurting enough now to make him temporarily afraid for his health.
Then Perry swallowed his cock, and he wasn't thinking of anything.
It would take me a while longer to realize that the pain in my chest was my heart breaking wide open with love.
JD pulled out of Perry's mouth before he lost the fingertip hold on control that he had. He directed Perry to get to his feet and get naked.
"Bedroom," he ordered and walked out of his jeans as he followed.
In the room, they climbed into the bed, but Perry reared back his head to stay out of kissing range. "You've got me all wound up, kid. If you fail again, there will be consequences."
A nervous laugh tripped out of JD's lips.
"Don't fucking ruin this for me, newbie."
JD whacked him in the back of the head, the same way he whacked JD every day in the hospital. "I'm not Newbie when we're like this, Perry. Get that through your pretty head right now."
Oooohhhh, who's the dominant one now?
Getting chills from his own sense of command, JD watched as Perry shut up and laid himself back across the bed covers. His eyes were different again. Dark pools of lust and--JD could see it now--trust.
"What do I call ya then, skipper?" he asked, voice as rough as gravel yet breathy too. JD could see Perry was rock hard though he hadn't touched himself yet.
"Skipper works," JD said. "I'm your captain."
Perry rolled his eyes. "You're ruining it again."
JD dropped over him and kissed him.
*
Sometimes there are moments in life when everything is right. When there are no troubles. No needs. No doubts. You're sated. Confident. Happy.
This is one of those moments .
Perry was asleep. An out of breath, drool and sweat covered mess mere minutes ago, he had murmured a slurred delirious sounding, "Good job, honey bee," and was now sound asleep.
JD was about to be asleep, too. Every muscle had been burning with the strain of getting Perry there, but now his whole body felt heavy. He fought the sex coma with all he had, though, wanting instead to soak in the moment. The glory.
Mind blowing orgasm, achieved.
You'll just know. Perry had said. Well, he was right. JD did just know. He knew there was nothing better. No greater heights. No sweeter drug than what just happened. And he didn't doubt for a second that Perry had gone blank and seen the angels, too.
Past orgasms had been mere shadows compared to this, little trickles from a spout. Small eruptions. Teetering tops wobbling across the tabletop. This was the sun that made the shadows. A damn geyser, tearing through his flesh. A volcano from deep in his bones shattering the crust of the earth with its power. They had been tops that had spun themselves straight up into the sky and on out into space.
JD hadn't been prepared for how much it would actually hurt. Pain mixed with pleasure in a way that left him breathless for more.
Dropping off to sleep with Perry beside him, JD vaguely wondered how much this was going to change things at work.
*
A whistle pierced the ward. Dr. Cox marched over, white coat tails trailing. Eyes like daggers.
"Charlice, WHY hasn't Mrs. Ramsey's blood been drawn for the tests yet?"
"I--"
"No-No. No-no. You don't talk back. You draw the blood. You scurry like the little rat that you are down to Mrs. Ramsey and you take her blood. Right now, Missy!" he whistled again and clapped at him like a dog.
JD hurried along.
Ok so not all that different, apparently .
*
Later, JD made himself a cup of coffee at the nurses station.
"Jordan must have came back for seconds and finished him off," Carla said to Turk. They were talking about Dr. Cox.
"No way," Elliot said. "He's still all over JD. Ripped him a new asshole in front of everyone an hour ago."
"Really?" Carla frowned. "He was whistling dixie this morning. Damn near skipping."
"Well," Elliot puffed a lock of hair out of her eyes, "He's gunning to kill JD. That's all I know."
"What'd you do, Bambi?"
The accusation scolded JD as effectively as if he'd spilled the brew in his cup. "Nothing!"
"Well you obviously did something," Elliot shrugged.
*
JD caught Dr. Cox in the break room.
“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, barely containing irritation.
“Yeah. You didn't get the blood I asked for.”
“But--”
“Hold the phone, did you think because I've seen ya naked I'll go easier on you or something?”
“Well--”
“Here's how it's gonna be, Tiffany. If I'm ever that desperate again, I'll give ya a call. Until then, you'll do your job or I'll shove my clipboard so far up your ass we'll all pinch your nose to get ya to open your mouth so we can read it. Capeesh?”
JD crossed his arms. “I gave you the best sex of your life.”
“No, newbie,” he dropped his head back into the cradle of his laced fingers. He actually looked a tiny bit fond though mostly annoyed. “You gave me the best sex of your life.”
"Did I at least do better than a 4?”
“Meh. 6.8.”
“That is a lie!” JD cried way too loudly for inside voices.
Shoving hands into his white coat pockets, Dr. Cox grinned. His eyes sparkled with mirth. Like he knew something JD didn't.
"Is it?" he asked. And, damn him, he knew JD couldn't give a confident answer.
"What's it you came here to yell at me for, Newbie? The sex was halfway decent so you, what? You thought I should no longer expect you to be good at your job?"
"I'd expect you to show me some respect." JD said, lifting his chin.
Big blue eyes blinked in surprise. "It's not my job to show you respect, Natalie. And seeing as how I'm not your Resident, it's not even my job to hold your hand and make sure you don't screw up." He laughed and put his hand on his chest, "Honest to god, that's something I've only been doing out of the goodness of my heart."
Where there had once been confidence, there was now ash, flame and screaming. JD was horrified that his eyes had began to prick. His voice was thick, "It's just that we had something good, and then you turn around and walk all over me like I don't matter."
"Get this through your head," Dr. Cox said stepping close and speaking lowly, "What we had was sex. That's all. Sex has nothing to do with feelings. Or even respect."
Ouch .
"The faster you realize that, the better off you'll be."
Don't let him get away with that. Take control.
JD side stepped into Dr. Cox's path and took hold of his lab coat. Their mouths were close as he said firmly, "And the faster you stop pretending you don't have a heart, the better off you'll be."
Dr. Cox took a beat, not breathing, a flicker through his eyes reminiscent of last night.
"I can beat a 6.8," JD said softly but confidently. "And I'll prove it tonight."
Perry looked back at him, seeming smaller. Unsure. JD thought that might be longing in those eyes. But it was only a second or two before the break room door opened.
Jumping apart, JD and Dr. Cox both remembered where they were and that professionalism was important. The moment was shattered so thoroughly that JD wasn't even sure it had happened.
The Todd strutted in, too caught up in his own dude bro world to recognize the gay scene he'd walked in on. He lifted a high five to Dr. Cox.
"Dr. Cox, heard you got some last night. Alright!"
Dr. Cox looked at JD, the assumption that JD had told all to his colleagues and a death threat both plain as day in his wild lunatic eyes.
"He's got the ex on his hook," JD chirped in his best dude bro voice. "She keeps crawling back for more. Amarite, sir?"
Dr. Cox growled and marched away.
JD couldn't leave the Todd hanging so he took the blunt force of the five.
Ow .
His beeper sounded off. He checked it. From Dr. Cox :
Tonight