More Inconvenient Truths about Propping Tony Stark

by Gibbs_yeah

Summary:

Saw Endgame, heard about Far From Home. Supremely unimpressed by RDJ and Tony Stark, who is up to his old tricks.

Notes:

Inspired by the prop-Tony folks who didn't bother to tag properly and put Team Cap-bashing stuff in my feed.

Chapter 1: Tony sealed his own fate

Dr. Strange confirmed that Tony's been a walking dead man for 5 years. Because once Thanos had the Time Stone, no one could do anything to stop him. And who decided delivering an Infinity Stone to Thanos was a good idea? The same person who refused to call Steve. So really, Tony can only blame himself. What if someone asked the question?

***

Peter Parker came up to Dr. Strange after the funeral. He asked, "Um, can I talk to you, Mister---I mean Doctor?"

Dr. Strange turned and looked Peter up and down. He said, "Yes."

Peter nodded and said, "Oh, good, cool. I-um-I was wondering if you could tell me---"

Dr. Strange rolled his eyes and said, "The answer to the question is yes."

Peter blinked and said, "Um...you know what I was going to ask?"

Dr. Strange huffed and said, "Young man, even if I weren't a master of the mystic arts, your question is so obvious even a fake palm reader could guess it. You want to know if Stark dying was really the only way to win. The answer is yes, because Stark didn't leave the universe any other choice."

Peter blinked again.

Before he could ask a follow-up question, Dr. Strange said, "The universe's---and Stark's---fates were sealed the moment we landed on Titan. Before Thanos had the Time Stone, many possibilities probably existed. But after the stone was within his grasp...then I could see only one path forward. The deaths we experienced on the journey were the price we paid for the victory."

Peter felt his shoulders relaxing. Now that he knew there was no other possibility (and that Mr. Stark pretty much screwed himself over), Peter could return to Queens and pick up his life as Spider-Man with a clear conscience.

Chapter 2: Tony still has zero empathy

Compassion is Steve's real superpower, and it was on display in Endgame. He was one of the few people who didn't show disdain for Scott or Thor, he checked in with teammates, and tried to help his support group members cope with loss. Steve even understood why Tony would hesitate to help with the time heist. Many others in Endgame also checked on and supported each other. The exception? Tony Stark, of course. He still doesn't bother to consider how anyone else feels. Let's look at Pepper's thoughts after her scene with Tony in the cabin.

***

Pepper pretended to go back to reading her book as she listened to Tony go up to bed. She'd overheard Tony earlier in the day when the others were here. The fact that he rejected even the possibility of helping all those people...

She knew who and what Tony was before she married him. But his selfishness still shocked her from time to time. It was disheartening in a way to know that even now, Tony was incapable of simply doing the right thing. He still had to get something out of the deal. Relief from guilt.

Lucky for the universe Tony sprayed water on the photo of Peter Parker, because otherwise he wouldn't have even bothered doing the time-travel research. She shook her head. Pepper pointing out the suffering of an entire universe wasn't even enough to motivate Tony. She had to actually suggest that Tony might be personally affected---be unable to rest knowing what he knew---to get him to actually do the right thing.

Pepper frowned and set the book aside. She would have to make sure Morgan had more exposure to other people, so her daughter could develop the compassion and empathy that Tony never had and probably never would.

Because the idea of two such selfish Starks in the world chilled her soul.

Chapter 3: Tony put his daughter in danger

The idea that Tony was ever Peter's "parent" or acted as a "parental figure" is laughable, especially when most of his actions toward Peter are abusive. And Tony may have loved Morgan, but Tony wasn't even a responsible parent toward his own daughter. Who leaves a 5-year-old unattended next to a body of water deep enough to drown in? Who leaves their weapons laying about where a kid can pick them up? (The gauntlet is a weapon. Ask Sam, Bucky, or Steve, who were shot by one while they were unarmed. And we saw from Homecoming and Far From Home how crappy Tony's security is, so I'm not assuming he's any more competent here.) Let's see how badly that little incident could have gone, and how Pepper would react coming upon that scene.

***

"Chow-time!" Tony called as he walked to the teepee set up next to the lake. He looked around before stopping in front of the structure. He wondered what Morgan had been up to. He hadn't meant to leave her alone for more than a moment, but of course he had an idea that needed to be recorded. And then the design needed tweaking...and now it was lunchtime.

"Morgoona. Morgan H. Stark. Want some lunch?" He frowned as he didn't hear any sounds in response to his calls.

"It sounds like I got here just in time," Pepper said as she walked up. She was still in her suit but had put away her briefcase and heels.

Tony looked nervously at his wife and then at the teepee. He said, "Morgan, that's enough. Get out here right this minute."

Pepper said, "Morgan, please come out. You're making Mommy nervous." She frowned as she looked around the area. She asked Tony, "Are you sure she's in there?"

Tony KNEW this was going to be bad. He said, "Well, I, uh, got a little distracted and---"

"MORGAN!" Pepper shouted as she rushed to the teepee and yanked the door open. She gasped and fell to her knees.

Tony could see Morgan inside, laying unmoving. She was wearing the Rescue helmet and a gauntlet. Which Morgan had taken from his obviously unlocked garage. He said, "She was just. I left her for just a SECOND, I swear---"

Pepper reached in and pulled off the helmet and glove. Morgan was still breathing. She sobbed in relief as she clutched her daughter to her.

Tony ran his hands through his hair. Likely Morgan had shot herself with the gauntlet. She would be okay. She had to be okay...she HAD to be.

When Pepper turned to stand, she glared at Tony and said, "This is the last straw, Tony. I trusted you when you said you could watch her and we didn't need anyone else out here. But you lied to me AGAIN."

She started walking toward her car. "I'm taking Morgan to the ER. And calling my lawyer. We won't be coming back."

As Tony watched Pepper strapping Morgan's limp form into the car seat, he knew that his life was over.

Chapter 4: Morgan Stark may be a target

Tony refused to consider changing anything in the last five years. That includes all of the people who died who weren't snapped---people who died in plane crashes when their pilots disappeared, people who committed suicide, children who died of starvation because their caregivers were gone. There's a chance some of those unSnapped people will "be upset." And like Tony when he gets upset, they will lash out without caring who their targets are or the truth of the situation. So Morgan Stark could end up being the one to pay for her father's thoughtlessness.

***

Pepper frowned at Clint and asked, "You really think it's the only way?"

Clint nodded and said, "This is the third attempt in a week. For everyone painting a monument to Stark for getting unsnapped, there's somebody burning his photo for insisting that the events of the last five years were unchanged. Those people are looking for someone to pay and..."

They both looked at Morgan. The girl was smiling as she listened to Steve tell a story while Wanda painted red shapes in the air to illustrate it.

Pepper shook her head and said, "And Morgan and I are the obvious targets. But to disappear completely..."

Maria Hill gave a single nod and said, "You can try living in seclusion and beefing up your security, but the only way to be truly safe is to stop being associated with Stark. T'Challa has graciously offered a place in Wakanda and funds to set up a new life so there will be no ties to your current one. We can fake your deaths, but understand there's no going back. It's up to you."

Pepper thought about all the angry rants online, all the grieving people who like Tony, didn't bother to think before they lashed out. Keeping Morgan safe was more important than keeping the Stark name alive. After a moment, Pepper nodded and said, "Let's do it."

Chapter 5: There are no "rogue Avengers"

It's funny how often prop-Tony stories call Team Cap "the rogue Avengers" or even just "the rogues." It's pure propaganda, as if I said "that selfish manchild" instead of "Tony" in my descriptions. Everyone on Team Cap retired from the Avengers rather than sign away their civil rights. There are only the official Avengers (Iron Man, Vision, and War Machine), the Unregistered Enhanced (Thor, Strange, Bruce, Spider-Man, Black Panther), and Team Cap. Let's see if someone else recognizes the blatant use of propaganda in this deliberate smear campaign.

***

Thaddeus Ross had been "discussing things" with Rhodey for half an hour. Because Rhodey was the only one left at the compound. Tony had flown off weeks ago to go back to his billionaire life with Pepper. Vision had disappeared and turned off the Accords-required tracker that recorded his movements.

The only consolation was that the U.N. panel (aka Ross) never called up the Avengers to send them out. And even that was a double-edged sword. Rhodey watched the news and flinched every time he saw a situation where they could have helped---where the Avengers WOULD have helped, before the Accords. So many deaths...

But not as many as there might have been. Sometimes good news popped up---People rescued from natural disasters who would have died without intervention. Terrorists captured and turned over to the authorities with evidence of their crimes. The criminals babbled about a team of ghosts disarming and confining them before they knew what was going on. And about alien weapons that were NOT recovered along with their bombs and guns. The Chitauri tech disappeared as mysteriously as the team that took out the bad guys.

Steve, Natasha, Sam, Wanda. "Team Cap." Some days Rhodey wished he could go back in time and reconsider his signing of the Accords. That he could be out there with them...

Ross interrupted Rhodey's train of thought as Ross said, "And of course all of your resources should be focused on arresting the Rogue Avengers and---"

"They're not rogues," Rhodey said for the first time, to Ross and to himself.

Ross paused in shock, then said, "Excuse me? Your former colleagues are disregarding the will of 117 countries and---"

And refusing to sign away their right to choose and civil rights, Rhodey thought but didn't say. Instead, he said, "They are ex-Avengers or former Avengers. They refused to sign so they retired. You didn't give them any other choice. So they're not Avengers."

And not rogues, Rhodey thought. Cap's team were the ones who were still standing up for the little guy and fighting the good fight. It was the rest of them who had gone rogue by signing the Accords and agreeing to be Ross's lapdogs. Useless lapdogs.

Rhodey sighed and said, "I'll get right on that, sir." But of course he wouldn't. Even if he was realizing that he may have betrayed himself by signing the Accords, he would never betray his friends and former teammates.

Chapter 6: May Parker is not dead - Tony is

It's disgusting how prop-Tony writers warp May's character. She's abusive, transphobic, homophobic---things TONY actually is in canon. Most often though, they just kill May off. All so "precious Peter Parker" can be "IronDad's spider son." Well, in canon Tony is dead to make the world a safer place, so May gets a chance to be Peter's REAL "parental figure." Let's see her advice for that horror known as EDITH. (This is an AU of Far From Home where Peter finds out about the drones right away instead of almost killing a bus full of students.)

***

May said, "Hey, these glasses are different."

Even Peter's reflexes weren't fast enough to stop May from picking up THE glasses and putting them on. She turned toward the mirror to ask, "How do you think these look on me?"

When she froze, Peter knew what she was seeing: Private info about everyone in the area with a cellphone. The ready status of the satellite full of drones waiting to kill anyone on the planet just because Peter wanted them dead.

"Peter..." May said as she slowly took them off and sat down next to him on the couch. She continued, "Peter what are these? Why do you have them?"

"I, uh, I got them from Mr. Stark---or, um, actually he left them to me. In his will or something," Peter said as he took the glasses back. He said, "They're for the next Iron Man, which I guess is kind of me."

Peter cringed at the horror on May's face as she said, "Peter, those glasses are--they SPY on people. On EVERYONE. Without a warrant or anything. And do they---do they really TARGET people?"

Peter swallowed and said quietly, "Yes, May. They're like, Mr. Stark's way of keeping the world safe now that he's gone."

May shook her head and said, "Peter, I know you looked up to Tony Stark. But this..."

She put her hand on his shoulder and continued, "Peter, you have to know that this technology is wrong. NOBODY should have that kind of power, and certainly nobody who wants to consider himself a hero."

May stood up and said, "I know you're growing up to be a good man, Peter, and you want to do the right thing. Please, really think about what that technology means. And that if THIS is what Tony Stark thinks a hero does, whether you really should be trying so hard to be like him."

Chapter 7: Tony exaggerates to prop himself

Someone online pointed out that Endgame gave us canon proof that Tony Stark exaggerates to prop himself---either to inspire pity or to make himself look better. In Infinity War, Thanos throws chunks of a moon at Tony. Tony says, "You throw another moon at me, I'm gonna lose it." Now, THAT may be one of his usual quips. But in Endgmane, Tony says, "Thanos wiped my face with a planet." So apparently rock chunks aren't big enough, a moon isn't big enough. Tony has to have lost a planet-sized battle. Makes you wonder just how accurate Tony's whining about Howard mentioning Steve "a thousand times" and Tony's complaints about Howard were. Because this does not seem to be new behavior. (And it doesn't really seem to be some kind of hunger-induced wild rant. Tony was very specific in the lies he told---he wanted to hurt Steve and he did so.) What if the other witness to events heard Tony's exaggeration?

***

Tony continued, "Thanos wiped my face with a planet."

Nebula stepped forward and said, "That is not correct."

The statement shocked Tony into silence until he sneered, "Thanks for the assist, Jet Blue."

Nebula frowned at the strange reference but continued, "Thanos threw chunks of a destroyed moon at you. They were not any larger than the pieces of rock we tried to bury him under. I do not understand your inaccuracy. Your brain showed no significant impairment from your wound or the journey here."

Tony looked down and muttered, "Way to steal my thunder." He didn't get to do his big dramatic shove at Cap to end his rant.

As Rhodey started assisting Tony out of the room, Natasha watched and then turned to the others. She said, "I hope you remember this little demonstration if you ever think about how he described his past. Apparently Tony likes to make things seem worse than they were."

Steve nodded slowly as if he was considering. Then he shrugged and said, "It's something to think about. But right now, let's focus on finding Thanos."

Chapter 8: Tony Stark is/was 53 years old

Prop-Tony folks talk about him as if he were some young, innocent boy when he is anything but. (Someone claimed Tony was "betrayed by his legal guardian" in Iron Man 1, when Tony was but a wee babe of 38 YEARS OLD.) He's written with the easily bruised ego of a 12-year-old, or treated as a baby who needs to be coddled. Even though he's one of the oldest or THE oldest Avenger, if you consider that Thor is the Asgardian equivalent of a 30-something. Let's see someone point out that Tony really is a middle-aged manchild.

***

Tony continued cursing his former teammates as he pounded at Cap's shield with the heaviest wrench he had. He got a petty, little thrill at each scratch on the battered surface. He said, "That'll show you, Captain High and MIghty. You traitor! i hope YOU ALL end up back on the Raft, because I can't wait to visit you and gloat. After everything I did for you---for all of you! You bunch of worthless ingrates! I'll show you! I'll make armor so great I don't NEED any help! Or a team of rejects---"

Vision walked through the wall and said, "I find your behavior very disturbing."

Tony lifted his head and stared at the android. He asked, "What?"

Vision frowned and answered, "Your violence toward Captain Rogers' equipment is highly irrational. And your attitude toward events seems extremely...immature, especially for one of your advanced years and alleged genius. The captain and his team made their choices based on the information available to them, as did we. They also believed there to be imminent danger to the world, so avoiding capture at the airport was simply logical. That you express a desire to see your former teammates in what seems to be inhumane conditions is, as I expressed, very disturbing. Your...rant sounds like something a displeased toddler would express."

Tony thought about what he just said and was embarrassed, but would NEVER admit it. He said, "Well, aren't you pissed at the Red Menace for putting you down a hole? Or at Birdbrain 2 for breaking Rhodey's damn back?"

Vision paused before answering quietly, "It was MY shot that injured Colonel Rhodes. Blaming Sam Wilson for moving out of the way of the shot does not compute. He was preserving his flight ability. And I will admit, perhaps his life. If my beam did that much damage to Colonel Rhodes' armor, how much worse would the harm have been to Wilson, who had no protection? As for Wanda..."

Vision paused again as he considered. Then he said, "I---WE had no right to confine Wanda to this compound. She had every right to free herself and protect her teammate. I hold no grudge."

He looked at Tony for another moment before saying, "I believe Captain Rogers' team will similarly set events aside and move forward, if and when we meet again. For THEY have not demonstrated such destructive and, I believe, 'childish' mindsets. I suggest you look to them for an example of how heroes---and adults---behave."

As Vision turned to leave, he paused to say, "Especially when you consider that the ONLY way to have possession of Captain Rogers' shield would be to meet him outside of U.S. borders, which would be a violation of the Accords you yourself signed and swore to uphold."

As Vision faded back to wherever, Tony stared at the shield and considered how Vision and ALL of Cap's Team were younger than Tony, but they were perhaps far wiser.

Chapter 9: Tony can't stand to lose

Tony behaves like a 50-year-old toddler a lot of times, and one way he demonstrates it is when he always has to be seen as the "big man in the room." He is always boasting, turns his charity into PR events, and mocks those who are not as technically accomplished or rich as him. He gloats when he believes he's "won something over" on someone else, like saying "I win" during the Accords discussion. He's even in competition with his own wife for their daughter's affections. How selfish and pathetic is that? Especially when Pepper is likely the one still doing all the work so Tony can stay in his little cabin and hide from the world's devastation. Let's look at Pepper's thoughts on Tony's "3000" comment.

***

Tony strode into the room and said, "Not that it's a competition, but she loves me 3000. You were somewhere on the low 6 to 900 range."

Pepper internally rolled her eyes. It had been more than a decade since Tony granted her "12 percent" of the credit for Stark Tower, and still he was lording his "accomplishments" over her. She didn't know whether she should be pleased or insulted that saving Tony's life, marrying him, giving birth to their daughter, and doing all the work of Stark Industries while Tony stayed in the cabin and pretended the world wasn't still reeling from the Snap let her make it to the 20- to 30-percent range in his estimations.

It was moments like this that Pepper wondered if Tony would ever bother to listen to himself and understand how hurtful his little cracks at other people's expense could be. But just like Tony's nicknames, these comments rolled out of his mouth with no filter of compassion or consideration for their effect.

Not that she gave Tony's words any weight these days. She knew Morgan loved them both. And Pepper would make sure that unlike Tony, Morgan knew that life wasn't a competition and there was no need to put other people down just because you could. And that Tony wasn't actually the best role model, for life or anything else.

Chapter 10: Tony's "son" didn't die in his arms---because Tony didn't care what happened to Vision

Peter was NEVER Tony's "son." All of the "IronDad/SpiderSon" behavior is based on head canon. Because on screen, Tony would have had his parental rights revoked and been thrown in jail for what he did to Peter. Extortion, kidnapping, emotional abuse, turning Peter into a child soldier, trying to turn him into a killer (a different truth)...none of these things is the action of a loving parent. Or even a distant one, which is the ONLY thing Howard is shown to be in canon. (All the Howard Stark A+ parenting tropes are head canon. Especially when Tony has been shown to lie about events and people to prop himself.) You know who actually COULD be considered Tony's "son"? VISION. He was built around the Jarvis AI, which was allegedly Tony's creation. (Although considering Jarvis is the only AI so far who hasn't tried to hurt someone who was not a threat, it seems as though Howard may have had a hand in the creation...or Jarvis himself.) But Tony's behavior toward his actual "son" was as bad as his treatment of Peter. Let's look at Vision getting the news of his "father's" lack of concern for him.

***

Shuri set the vibranium "gem" in Vision's forehead with a careful click. She looked at the assembled Avengers and said, "Remember, this is not the Mind Gem. But my replacement should give him back his life, even without all of his former powers."

Steve smiled and said, "We appreciate all of your efforts. And Scott and Bruce."

Wanda clutched his hand and nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

Scott finished the connections and Bruce pressed some switches on the power source hooked up to Vision. Bruce took a deep breath and said, "Here we go."

The monitor showed power slowly transferring to Vision's systems. After a few minutes, Clint said, "Come on, you can do it. You got people waiting for you here."

Suddenly Vision's eyes opened. He was still metallic gray, but the wonder on his face showed that he was back. He said, "I'm...alive."

Wanda gasped and moved forward to lay her hands on his shoulders. She said, "Hey Viz. How do you feel?"

He frowned and closed his eyes a moment. A covering like the Black Panther's suit traveled over him, making him look like he used to. Then he opened his eyes and slowly rose to sitting. He said, "Like myself...and not." He touched the gem in his forehead. He continued, "This...it 'speaks' to me of this world's communications, but not as it did."

Shuri stepped forward and said, "It's not the same gem...and you're not quite the same." She smiled as she nudged Wanda said, "But I hope you'll be as glad to be back as SOME folks are to see you."

Everyone laughed.

Vision then frowned and said, "I'm accessing data on the time I was...unconscious. I do not understand."

He looked at Steve and said, "The media reports you are dead, along with Stark and Romanoff. Yet you are standing here...much changed."

Steve nodded and said, "It's a long story. But the others...they're really gone."

Vision bowed his head a moment. Then he asked, "Please, tell me what happened."

So they each took a turn sharing their perspective on the events around the Infinity Stones. When they were done, Vision's expression was the saddest they had ever seen. He said, "I grieve for the loss of my teammate Natasha. And for all who suffered these last five years, and all who came back to find their family members died forever during the time of the Snap. But I am conflicted about...Stark."

He looked at Bruce. Bruce winced at the pain on the android's face. Vision asked, "Did Stark truly show no concern for me when Doctor Strange revealed I could be in danger?"

Vision felt a hollowness when he thought of Stark. He was Stark's creation, along with Bruce's and Helen Cho's. How could Stark express no concern for Vision's peril. Did Vision matter so little to him?

Bruce swallowed and said, "Yeah...he just kinda moved right past it. But if it's any consolation, Tony didn't even use the phone when he knew Thanos was coming to destroy half of all life in the universe. Apparently even THAT wasn't enough to get him to make the call."

Vision nodded and his face fell. Wanda and Steve pressed comforting hands to his back.

Suddenly Scott clapped and said, "Hey, who needs Stark anyway? I think doing my little bit to help these guys get your lights back on counts as adoption. And I can be the coolest foster dad EVER."

Clint nodded and said, "I think I get the cool uncle role, and I'll put you on the list to visit with Gramps here."

Shuri laughed and said, "I'm too young to be a mother, but I guess I'll get into contact with Helen Cho and let her know her 'son' is alive."

Bruce reached out and rested gentle fingertips on Vision's shoulder. He said, "And I'm still here."

Vision looked around at them all. He blinked back tears as he said, "Thank you."

Chapter 11: Tony was okay with killing everyone on Sokovia

Tony's demonstrated pretty clearly that if you're not personally important to him (or at least American), he doesn't care what happens to you. He's shown that multiple times in his appearances, but one telling scene was his casual willingness to kill everyone on the floating chunk of Sokovia the moment he figured out a solution. He didn't even pause for a second to consider getting non-Avengers off the rock. What if Tony just did what he wanted (which is what he usually does)? What would the fallout have been?

***

Silence reigned on the helicarrier. They watched as the dust that had once been a Sokovian city drifted through the air.

Rhodey and Thor landed on the deck. Thor's face was sad.

Rhodey's face was grim as he flipped up his faceplate and said, "No survivors. If they weren't off the rock when it blew, then..."

Vision landed and said, "I can confirm Ultron is no more. But no longer is anyone else, including Captain Rogers and Agents Barton and Romanov."

Nick Fury frowned and asked, "You're sure?"

Vision nodded. He had also looked for the twins who had assisted Ultron and then turned against him, but they too were victims of Ultron and...Tony Stark.

Thor swallowed and said, "Stark assured me immediate action was necessary, but I regret the loss of all lives, especially my shield brothers and sister."

All eyes turned to Stark, who sat in a corner staring into space. He'd been relieved of his suit and all tech. He looked up and said, "Cap and the others wouldn't listen. They wouldn't leave. We had to blow up that rock IMMEDIATELY."

Stark looked away and sulked. He said, "I couldn't know the cavalry was coming."

Fury shook his head and said, "You had time. Not much, but you didn't even THINK of alternatives. I'm not sure what to say about that. Or what the authorities are going to say about YOU. Your hands aren't clean in this, Stark. Not by a long shot."

The helicarrier turned to make its way back to New York. Missing all the people who MIGHT have been saved.

Chapter 12: Tony Stark is incredibly petty

Apparently there's a story out there claiming scenarios where people thought Tony was petty when he wasn't. (Then of course they have him BE petty without recognizing the irony, because that's what prop-Tony folks do.) They have obviously never seen a film Tony has been in (or been talked about in). He's INCREDIBLY petty. His quips and nicknames are designed to make people feel bad about themselves. He deliberately undermines characters' accomplishments (Pepper and Peter, for example), and he spitefully gets back at people who don't bow down to him (like he did to Clint in Civil War). What if someone called him out on his crap?

***

Pepper frowned as she walked into the Avengers compound. Though really, with Vision and Tony as the only heros (with air quotes around the word for Tony) available, it was more of a ghost town than anything.

She glanced down at her phone and re-read the email from Natasha. Part of her couldn't believe it, but most of Pepper knew this was EXACTLY what Tony was like.

Pepper stepped into the lounge area. Vision was hovering in a corner while Tony was seated on a couch, Rhodes in his wheelchair beside them. She stopped and crossed her arms, glaring at her FORMER lover. She asked, "Tony, HOW COULD YOU?"

Tony shifted in his seat and said, "I didn't! I swear." But his expression showed he KNEW what she was talking about.

Pepper shook her head angrily and said, "I know you're more spiteful than a thwarted toddler. But this...I never realized you're actually EVIL."

Rhodes and Vision looked at Pepper as Rhodes asked, "What did he do?"

Pepper took a deep breath and said, "I heard from Natasha. She did a little digging into the new superhero who suddenly joined your side. He's 14 YEARS OLD! And Tony THREATENED the child with exposure to make him help you."

Tony shrank into his seat and said, "I HAD to beat Cap---I had to prove that I was right!"

Vision shook his head and said, "Capturing our teammates did nothing to diminish their reasons for refusing to sign the Accords."

Rhodes put his face in his hands and said, "We were using a child soldier. Tony, you created a CHILD SOLDIER!"

Pepper stepped forward and said, "That's not the worst. After you turned the team over to Ross, they were held in an underwater prison with no due process or lawyers. They put Wanda in a strait jacket and SHOCK COLLAR. And Tony knew it. He did NOTHING to help them."

Tony shouted, "They deserved what they got. They BETRAYED me!"

Both Vision and Rhodes stared at Tony as if he was insane. Pepper thought maybe he was. She asked, "Is that why you told Thaddeus Ross about Clint's family?"

Rhodes leaned away from Tony and said quietly, "How could you do that? He risked the safety of his wife and children to hide you from Ultron. And you told THUNDERBOLT ROSS about a vulnerable woman and her children? Why, to get back at CLINT?"

Vision frowned and asked, "Did Ross get to them."

Pepper shook her head and said, "No, no thanks to Tony. Natasha was able to get them away before the shock troops arrived."

Rhodes maneuvered his wheelchair so his back was to Tony. He said, "You crossed too many lines, Tony. We're done."

As he started to wheel himself out, Vision nodded and said, "I, too, do not wish to associate with someone who would take such villainous actions out of spite."

Pepper said, "Don't call me, and I won't be calling you."

They left Tony alone with his pettiness, as he deserved.

Chapter 13: Tony isn't a jackass as a "defense mechanism"---he's just a jackass

A lot of prop-Tony folks make the claim that Tony is horrible to people as a "defense mechanism" to hand-wave away the insults, cruel taunts, and other inappropriate behavior. That doesn't work at all, because 1) He doesn't "defend," he ATTACKS and he attacks EVERYONE, 2) He's a bully. He attacks those who are no threat to him so there's nothing to "defend" against, and 3) As one person online noted, the ONLY things he could be "defending against" are needing to behave like an adult, show an ounce of compassion, or take responsibility for his crimes and wrong actions. Tony wasn't abused, deprived, or bullied growing up in canon. The ONLY thing he may lay claim to is Howard never told Tony he loved him (and even THAT is suspect because we have canon proof Tony lies about things to prop himself). And even if that's true, that is one person. Tony grew up with his mother, Jarvis, Stane (who doted on Tony apparently), and possibly Jarvis's wife Ana. So prop-Tony folks are saying that Tony gets to treat EVERYONE with disdain because one person was distant to him? No way. And the best evidence that this whole "defense mechanism" idea is crap is that Tony NEVER CHANGES. He finds out his dad did love him in IM2, he has Pepper in multiple films and Morgan in Endgame. So there's no longer a reason for a "defense mechanism," yet Tony STILL mocks people, uses inappropriate nicknames, and bullies those around him. What if someone noticed?

***

Happy winced as he watched Tony tearing into yet ANOTHER employee. This one had apparently committed the unpardonable crime of not being psychic and automatically knowing exactly how Tony wanted this research to go. So the poor guy got berated in front of everyone for his (apparent) lack of looks, lab skills, and smarts compared to Tony.

Happy shifted as he realized he'd be adding to his obsolete badges pile. He had a whole collection of IDs from people fired by Tony for not being rich enough to get the best education money could buy so they could be as smart as the son of a certified genius. Or people who left in tears or full of frustration after Tony took out his bad moods on them or Tony decided to mock them for not having his privileges just because he could. (And could afford to pay out any lawsuits.)

Tony claimed his "quirks" were a "defense mechanism," but Happy pretty much accepted that it was another lie Tony told himself instead of apologizing to the people he hurt or changing his ways.

After watching Tony for years, Happy was sad to say that Tony had a definite pattern. Tony NEVER "defended himself" against slim, pretty women. He ALWAYS "defended himself" against people who dared to question Tony's methods or ideas. Or, like now, Tony "defended himself" against people who didn't jump high enough or fast enough for Tony, or who didn't land exactly when, where, and how Tony wanted them to.

And Tony ALWAYS "defended himself" against people who couldn't afford to "defend themselves" in return.

Happy wondered what would happen if someday all these people Tony exercised his "defense mechanism" on figured out a way to pay Tony back. He could only hope Rhodes, Pepper, and himself didn't get caught in the crossfire. Or anyone else.

Chapter 14: Tony does not care about Wanda

There are some fics out there that pretend that post-Age of Ultron, Tony took Wanda "under his wing." It seems to be one of those instances where prop-Tony folks take actual positive behaviors of other characters (Team Cap in this case) and apply them to Tony because Tony. In canon, Tony has been the opposite of nurturing. Let's see Team Cap do the real nurturing, post-Civil War.

***

Steve paused in the hallway of the safehouse as Natasha exited a door. He asked, "How's Wanda doing?"

Natasha shrugged and said, "As well as can be expected, considering she's been in a shock collar and strait jacket since Stark turned them in to Ross."

Steve frowned and said, "This is on me. I shouldn't have left---"

Natasha shook her head and said, "You made the right call. As far as we knew, five Winter Soldiers were about to be unleashed. And Stark wasn't listening to anything except his own damn ego."

Steve sighed and said, "You're right. But it's hard to see her hurting like this. Is she up for another visitor?"

Natasha nodded and said, "Yes, if it's you. But keep in mind that Wanda's brushing OUR minds. She's got enough of a lock on it to keep it to surface thoughts, but she really needs to be sure of the people around her right now."

Steve said, "I talked to Sam about it as we started dinner."

Natasha said, "I told Clint and Lang before they went upstairs to make their check-in calls."

Steve frowned and asked, "Maria confirmed everyone's okay?"

Natasha nodded and said, "Yes, she got to the farm in time. I had a gut feeling Stark would pull a stunt like sending Ross after Clint's wife and kids."

Steve said, "Good thing you listened to it. I'm glad you're on our side."

Natasha smirked and said, "I always was."

Steve opened the door and stepped into the room assigned to Wanda. She was a small, pale lump on the bed, but she looked up when he walked in. He said, "Hey Wanda, how are you doing?"

Wanda straightened a little as Steve sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned back against the headboard next to her. She said, "Not so well, but I am getting better."

Steve said, "I'm sorry this happened to you. I swear, I knew nothing about the Raft."

Wanda nodded and said, "I know. I know none of you did."

Steve asked, "What do you need right now?"

Wanda smiled a little and said, "I have what I need with all of you here---letting me feel how much you care about me."

She tilted her head and continued, "But I wouldn't say no to a hug."

Steve chuckled and lifted his arm to gather Wanda by his side. He said, Maybe we can have a group hug after dinner."

Wanda nodded and said, "I think that would be good for everyone."

She paused, then said, "Vison told me that Stark wanted Viz to keep me on the compound to avoid another 'incident.' Stark tried to pretend he did it FOR me, rather than TO me, but I saw the truth in your mind during our rescue."

She shuddered and continued, "Stark called me a Weapon of Mass Destruction. A thing, not a person."

Steve sighed and said, "Yes, he did. But you know that's not the way WE see you, right?"

Wanda nodded and said, "I saw you said 'She's just a kid.' It made me feel protected, even as you were setting us free and making sure we all were safe."

Steve said, "We'll all try to keep each other safe. We're a team---we're MORE than a team."

Wanda nodded. She could feel it---they were a FAMILY.

Chapter 15: Tony is a villain by his own definition

It's funny to me how most (if not all) prop-Tony material is based on lies. Either outright lying about events (claiming Tony was bullied by the Avengers for example), lying about the other characters (pretending they'd prop Tony and/or they'd hate Steve), or lying about Tony himself (claiming Tony was right about anything or that Tony learns from his many mistakes). Nobody needs to twist facts to write material supporting Team Cap, because they're actually good people and were right about the Accords.

One big thing that prop-Tony materials ignore is that Tony Stark confirmed he is actually a villain in Far From Home. Tony signed the Accords, arrested Team Cap and abandoned them on the Raft, and hid his own violations so he wouldn't face the same consequences. But Far From Home showed Tony went beyond that to build a Hydra-like superweapon that threatens everyone on Earth. What if someone found out about it during the Snap and actually held Tony accountable? After all, the prop-Tony people are all about the consequences.

***

Tony smiled to himself as he put the finishing touches on the drone satellite design. Good thing Pepper and Morgan had left for the day to give him some time to work on his masterpiece. Soon he'd be ready to launch the whole system. Then he'd know EVERYTHING that was on every computer and phone in the world. He would be able to push a button and kill anyone, anytime.

Suddenly all of his alarms started blaring. SECURITY BREACH flickered across the screen before all of his systems went dark.

He heard a step behind him and turned around. For the first time in years, he saw his old teammates. They all looked different. Bruce was Hulk-green but wearing glasses and NOT smashing. Thor was doing a good imitation of Shamu the Whale. Hawkeye had gone punk with some weird Mohawk. Widow needed to touch up either her red roots or her blonde ends. Cap had gone back to being blond and beardless. None of them looked happy.

Neither did the bald, black chick in red armor gripping a spear like she wanted to launch it into Tony's throat.

And neither did...Rhodey? Tony frowned and asked, "Rhodey, what the hell? Are you the one who left the back door open?"

Rhodey shook his head and sadly said, "Tony, this isn't a time to joke. We're here to take you into custody."

Tony stood up and went to turn on his tech, but before he could do anything the new chick shrugged and said, "Nothing of YOURS in this building will work, but you are welcome to look stupid and try something."

Tony looked at all of the grim faces and asked, "So what's with the reunion?"

Rhodey looked at Tony and said, "I backed you over the Accords. I came to regret it, but I listened at the time and I remember what you said: 'We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys.' YOU said that, Tony."

Rhodey frowned and continued, "But like so many other times, it was just lip service, wasn't it?"

Widow shrugged and used a wrist device to project the schematics Tony was just looking at. She said, "Because you're apparently STILL building Weapons of Mass Destruction and hiding them from the world."

Bruce said, "Pepper already knows. She's talking to her lawyers right now. She said don't bother using your one phone call on her, because she already blocked you."

Thor hefted his oversized hatchet and said, "I suggest you go quietly. But I hope you don't."

Clint watched as Tony was stripped of ALL of his tech and put in cuffs that completely covered his hands. Clint said, "I wanted to use the strait jacket and shock collar they put on Wanda, but I was outvoted."

Tony passed by Cap as he was led away.

Cap said, "Turns out I was wrong all those years ago. You weren't just pretending to be a hero. By your own definition, you ARE a villain."

Rhodey nodded and said, "And a liar."

Chapter 16: "Tony half-dead in Siberia" stories make Tony the Stupidest Avenger

I've covered this ridiculous notion in the trope series, but it keeps popping up. And I noticed ALL of these stories have a few things in common, besides ignoring canon Tony alive and well with Rhodey in the actual film:
-X (a character who turns into a Tony prop) finds Tony half-dead/frozen/starving/lost among the snowdrifts
-X pities Tony (pitying Tony is a requirement for all prop characters it seems, whether Tony deserves it or not)
-X gets revenge on/lectures Team Cap for "abandoning" Tony in such "dire circumstances."

As mentioned in the trope version of this, Tony just tried to murder Bucky, and succeeded in both mutilating Bucky and severely beating (and shooting) Steve, who had trouble standing. Steve's priority should be getting the SEVERELY INJURED Bucky AWAY from Tony, the murderous attacker.

But another inadvertent (I assume) truth of all of these stories is that they make Tony look INCREDIBLY stupid. First off, the film shows that the moment the main reactor goes down, mini backup reactors kick on and start glowing. So Tony would not be "half-dead from cold" unless he was dumb enough not to include environmental controls in his suit. He apparently isn't smart enough to repair the comm system in his suit (assuming Friday is no longer accessible). He is also standing in a fully powered Hydra bunker complete with computers and other equipment. To suggest that Tony couldn't find or build a telephone out of all that tech means Tony's IQ has taken a severe nosedive since Iron Man 1. And of course, there's transportation readily available right outside the bunker doors. T'Challa is right there. So is Zemo's snowmobile. Yet somehow Tony failed to notice both forms of transportation right in front of his nose? DUMBEST AVENGER EVER. Let's see someone point out how stupid Tony is in this poor!woobie!Tony scenario.

***

Tony sat in the snow. His suit SHOULD have protected him from feeling it---from feeling the cold at all. But apparently he'd forgotten to connect the mini backup arc reactors built into his suit to any important systems, like environmental controls or comms or...anything, really. He'd have to check that when he got back. IF he ever got back. After all, he was stuck in the middle of the frozen tundra with NO WAY to contact anyone or to get home. All thanks to Cap, who apparently thought getting the potential murder victim away from the potential murderer was MORE IMPORTANT than making sure Tony was okay.

Tony swore when Vision suddenly floated before him. Vision said, "I do not understand your lack of action."

Tony glared and said, "Unless you have a steaming espresso hidden inside your cape, I don't want to hear it."

Vision frowned and said, "I received an anonymous communique with footage of you sitting here and coordinates. At first I suspected a prank, because the writer said you ignored the offer of a ride and the offer to make a phone call. But the writer also suggested viewing this area by satellite and to take action if you had not."

"I was left here to DIE by Cap. ABANDONED in the sub-zero freezing cold with no hope of rescue," Tony said as he pouted.

Vision looked around and lifted his hands as he asked, "How do you reach that conclusion? If you are cold---though I would note the temperatures are not sub-zero, you cannot even see your breath---why do you not take shelter that is literally open behind you?"

Vision didn't roll his eyes, but he looked like he wished he knew how to as he continued, "You are also literally surrounded by your suit, which contains a comm system. Why didn't you repair it? You are outside a fully powered military base. Did you not look for a telephone? Or pieces that you could turn into a telephone?"

Vision pointed over to a snowmobile left standing to the side. The lack of snow on the vehicle suggested it was recently operated. He asked, "If you were left to die, why not leave? You have transport right there? And at least according to the communique, you also ignored another ride offered by someone else in the area."

Vision shook his head and said, "I will take you back. Please stand."

Tony grumbled about having to get up when he was comfortable, but stood and held out his arms to be picked up by Vision. Tony said, "Let's go. I need a stiff drink and a hot meal before I go into my next round of self-pity."

Vision reached behind him and brought out a pair of super handcuffs. He clicked them on Tony's wrists and said, "I doubt the authorities will provide alcohol, so a warm beverage will have to do."

Tony tried to pull back but Vision secured him. Tony asked, "What are you talking about? We need to get out of here without raising alarms."

Vision ignored Tony and concentrated on the bunker. HIs eyes glowed in that weird way he got when he was accessing computer systems. Explosions soon rocked the ground as the underground base started to collapse. Vision slung Tony under one arm like an oversized duffle bag as he floated over the landscape. He said, "Like you, I signed the Accords. Unlike you, I actually followed them. So I am here with permission, as are the U.N. guards I will be turning you over to for Accords violations. However, rest assured I will be confiscating the Iron Man armor and returning it to Avengers base per Everett Ross. A lawyer has been contacted, but for now at least you will likely be incarcerated in a cell next to one Helmut Zemo, the true Vienna bomber."

As Tony realized how deep a hole he was about to be in, Vision shook his head and said, "I do not understand your lack of action. It seems your claim of being a genius was perhaps...overly optimistic."

Chapter 17: If Peter lived, Tony would never have helped save the Snapped people

Every Tony Stark appearance makes it clear that he only cares about an issue if it affects him directly. (For example, he didn't care about dead Sokovians, only the American whose mother laid a guilt trip on Tony.) Endgame was no different. Tony was perfectly fine with letting half the universe stay snapped as long as he got his perfect life. If he hadn't been guilted by the memory of Peter, he wouldn't have helped retrieve the Infinity Stones. Let's take a look what would happen if Peter survived the Snap.

***

Peter didn't intend to eavesdrop. Not really. He had actually snuck back into the cabin to talk to Tony about something disturbing he'd seen while he was gathering up research materials for his thesis work in the city. Tony confirming the positioning of a drone-filled satellite and its targeting system, which could spy on anyone with a computer or cell phone. And kill anyone in the world at the touch of a button.

It was horrifying, and it had taken Peter this long to come to understand that Tony Stark was no longer a hero. Maybe he never had been, even though he took Peter in when everyone around him had snapped to dust.

So Peter was in the perfect place--clinging to the ceiling in the living room--at the perfect time to overhear the trio of heroes seeking Tony's help.

Peter frowned as he listened to the guy who went from an ant to a giant in Germany, years ago. Ant Man said, "I know you got a lot on the line. You got a wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me. A lot of people did. And now, now we have a chance to bring her back. Bring everyone back. And you're telling me that won't even---"

Tony interrupted him as he said, "That's right, Scott, I won't even. I got a kid."

As Morgan ran onto the porch without seeing him, Peter blinked away tears. These people had a way to bring everyone back? And they were asking for Tony's help?

And Tony...Tony wouldn't. But now Peter wasn't even surprised.

He slipped away. He was wearing his suit (which he'd already taken the trackers out of), so he didn't have to go back to his own car. He wouldn't go back for his electronics, now that he knew Tony could hack into anything at a whim.

Part of Peter wanted to confront Tony about his lies and the weapon of mass destruction he'd apparently created. But Peter knew better now. He was pretty sure that if Tony knew that there was a chance of the heroes succeeding, Tony would turn those drones on THEM.

Peter crouched down by the heroes' car, out of sight from the cabin. When Captain America--well, the former Captain America--appeared, Peter said, "I'll help you. I want to bring everyone back. But you can't let Stark see me. He has a weapon that can kill anyone, anywhere, anytime."

Captain America's eyebrows rose as he asked, "Queens?"

Peter nodded, then crawled into the car. He snuck from the front seat to the back to crouch on the floor.

The Black Widow didn't turn to look as she asked, "You think he's become that dangerous?"

Captain America drove along the gravel road as he said, "That weapon, it sounds a lot like Project Insight. I say we don't take any chances."

Ant Man stared at Peter a long moment, then asked, "You really think you can help?"

Peter nodded and said, "I know I can."

Captain America turned onto the main road and said, "Knowing that Tony has a gun pointed at us changes things. We'll have to do it quietly, but I think we're going to have to get a bigger team. Starting with the biggest brain we know."

Chapter 18: Tony wasn't needed to fix the Snap

Let's face it: Tony wasn't actually needed for the Time Heist. There are other people in the MCU who could have helped out, and who wouldn't have blackmailed the others into keeping those five years where everyone BUT Tony suffered horribly.

Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis are confirmed as Un-Snapped. As far as I understand it, Erik Selvig was listed as Snapped, but he was actually in hiding helping Darcy and Jane. In this continuation of the scenario in the last chapter, Thor's trio of friends join Peter and others in bringing back the Snapped in a very different way. (Thor's belt was mentioned in a Spider-Man movie.)

***

As Valkyrie made the climb up to Thor's place, she said quietly, "I'm just saying, he's not the guy you knew."

Steve nodded. Then he remembered that Valkyrie couldn't see him in his Wakandan stealth suit and whispered, "I understand. None of us are the same."

He was hiding in plain sight, thanks to Okoye and M'Baku's contributions to Operation Un-Snap. They'd shared some of the Black Panther suits that Shuri had left behind. These models were able to block all detection, including making the wearer completely invisible. Steve had tested his out when he went to meet Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, and Erik Selvig. With Natasha's help, he'd smuggled them back to the compound. Now he and Natasha had split up to find Thor and Clint so they could join the plan to bring back all of the lives Thanos stole--and maybe prevent all the needless deaths that occurred after the Snap.

Valkyrie banged on the wooden door and yelled, "Open up, Thor! I know you're in there."

After a moment, Thor opened the door. He had gained weight, and his hair and beard were long. His mismatched eyes looked sad and angry as he said, "I told you to leave me alone."

Valkyrie pushed her way in, and Steve stayed close behind her as they stepped into a small room littered with food packages and bottles. After Thor closed the door, she said, "You have a visitor."

Steve pressed a button on his glove that would extend the sound and signal dampening of the suit. He pushed his helmet back and said, "Thor, we need your help."

Thor's jaw dropped as he stared. Then he reached a hand out and touched Steve's chest, even though it looked like he was touching thin air. He asked, "Steven?"

Steve gave a small smile and said, "It's been a while."

Valkyrie moved away to talk to a...rock man?

Steve laid a hand on Thor's shoulder and said, "We figured it out, Thor. A way to bring everybody back. But we need your help."

Thor turned away and grabbed a bottle. He drank it all down and tossed it into a bucket filled with them. He said, "Look at me. I'm no use to you or anyone. Don't you remember? I FAILED."

Steve said, "We all failed." He shook his head and continued, "I know how hard it's been, living with what happened. And we both know that no matter how much you drink, you aren't able to get away from all that you lost."

Thor nodded and turned back around. There were tears in his eyes. He reached out and Steve stepped into a hug. Both of their eyes turned red as they held each other. Thor said, "Tell me."

Steve said, "For five years there was nothing we could do to fix things. But a man named Scott Lang came back from a place called the Quantum Realm, and Jane Foster and Erik Selvig are working with him and Bruce to figure out a way to get the Stones back. It's a long shot, but for the first time we have a chance of fixing this. But we don't have much time. And we won't be able to do it without YOU."

Steve stepped back and said, "Please, help us, Thor."

Thor looked down at himself. He frowned and said, "I'm not sure...Jane...I'm not the man I was."

Steve shook his head and said, "You're still a good man, Thor. That's what's important."

Thor lifted his head and stared. Then he straightened up and said, "Yes. I will do this."

***

They were finally ready. Steve, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Rocket, Scott, Okoye, Nebula, and Peter stood on the platform. Everyone held weapons except for Scott and Peter. Peter's hands were empty, but he had a sack slung over his shoulder.

Rhodey, M'Baku, and Bruce stood with Jane, Darcy, and Erik. Jane asked, "So you all know what you have to do?"

Thor gripped Stormbreaker in one hand and Megingjord, his magic belt, in the other. He said, "When the Pym particles are ready, I will open a portal that bridges the past."

Okoye nodded and said, "We'll land in Wakanda in the moment the Destroyer has the Stones but before he can use them. Then we'll put our plan into action."

Jane nodded and said, "We'll keep the portal open on our end."

Bruce frowned and said, "And if necessary, we'll keep Tony away as well."

Peter frowned at that and nodded. He didn't like the thought of Tony attacking the facility, but he knew that it could happen. Peter had been able to hide what they were doing, but he couldn't sabotage Tony's drone-filled satellite without letting Tony know that Peter wasn't where he said he was going to be.

Rhodey said, "I hope it doesn't come to that, but we'll do what we have to."

Steve said, "Whatever it takes. Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost family... We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You have your mission: Stop Thanos from snapping, get the stones, put them in Thor's belt, and use them to rebuild the universe. We have one chance, so no mistakes. no do-overs. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we're gonna win. Good luck."

Everyone smiled and straightened up. Rocket said to Scott, "He's pretty good at that."

Scott replied, "Right? I know!"

Natasha smiled and said, "See you when we see you."

Jane and Erik began pushing buttons and pulling levers. When the power reached a specific point, Jane pulled a lever that sent Pym particles into the machine. She nodded at Thor, and Thor lifted StormBreaker and opened a portal, the edges glowing like a Rainbow Bridge. All of the heroes on the platform disappeared.

Erik said, "Target destination confirmed. The portal is stable and ready for the transfer."

At a beeping sound, Darcy walked over to a screen. She pressed a few buttons and said, "Wakandan shield deployed. We have incoming--drones and an Iron Man suit. Get ready to party."

M'Baku gripped the spear in his hand and looked to Rhodey. He said, "This man is your friend. Speak to him."

Rhodey sighed and said, "I'll try."

Suddenly Tony's amplified voice sounded all around them as bombs, lasers, and other weapons landed on the Wakandan shield. He said, "I don't know exactly what crazy plan you've cooked up, but give up before somebody gets hurt."

Rhodey tapped a button on his armor and said, "Tony, we have to do this. We can't leave half of all life dusted. You know how bad things have gotten here--it's probably even worse on some other planets. We have a way to fix the Snap."

Tony said, "James--or should I call you Judas? Of course you sided with Captain Destroy Everything. Whatever you're doing, shut it down now before I obliterate you. I'll burn that whole building to the ground before I let you ruin my perfect life!"

Bruce flipped a couple switches and said, "We're now on the Wakandan generators. He won't be able to shut off or hack any of our systems."

The sounds of the weapons outside grew louder as Tony increased his attack. Darcy said, "Shields are holding, but I'm not sure for how long."

M'Baku said, "Hopefully long enough to turn the last five years into nothing more than a bad dream from which we will finally wake."

***

Steve, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Rocket, Scott, Okoye, Nebula, and Peter landed in a clearing. The portal remained, even after Thor lowered StormBreaker.

Steve said, "Everyone focus. Remember what Jane said, that we may hear our past selves' thoughts and even be able to speak to them. But DON'T let that distract you. Go."

Scott shrank down and leapt onto Peter's shoulder. Peter pulled a flat hunk of vibranium from the bag and tossed the bag away, then webbed off. The others spread out, heading in the same direction.

Thor watched the lightning sent by his younger self strike Thanos and push the Titan into the dirt, then the other Thor throw StormBreaker. While Thanos raised his hand to deflect the other Thor's StormBreaker, Peter threw the piece of vibranium. Scott grew to regular size and slammed it into Thanos's open palm, holding it there while Peter webbed the rock in place. This prevented Thanos from closing his fist. Steve caught the other StormBreaker. Thor whispered, "I knew it."

Nebula and Rocket flung discs onto the ground. A forcefield grew around the team, protecting them from the Outriders and other creatures still attacking. Steve tossed the other StormBreaker back to the younger Thor just before the field closed.

Okoye stabbed her spear through the base of Thanos's skull, attempting to sever his spine. Clint fired arrows at where the nerve clusters would be in human shoulders, trying to paralyze Thanos's arms. Natasha slashed the backs of Thanos's knees, causing him to collapse.

Thor stepped forward with his StormBreaker. He raised it and looked the Titan in the eyes. Then he slammed the blade down, splitting Thanos's skull in two. He stepped back and said, "This time I went for the head."

Everyone paused to understand that as of this moment, in this universe, no one was Snapped. Then Steve said, "Come on, we have to hurry. We don't know what's happening on the other side."

Thor dropped StormBreaker and lifted his belt as Nebula, Rocket, Peter and Scott began using small tools to pry the stones from Thanos's gauntlet.

Thor looked at his younger self and thought, "I am sorry for the loss of our dear brother Loki, Heimdall, and all those who have already fallen. But understand this: You have now done ALL that you could."

As he lifted his magic belt of strength, he slid his hand into one of the gauntlets woven onto it. The others stepped forward and placed their hands in their assigned gloves as the Infinity Stones were laid into place on the belt. It glowed with power and linked Thor's thoughts to the others as they concentrated.

Scott, Okoye, and Clint focused on preserving this universe and sending encouragement to their counterparts.

Rocket and Peter reminded the Stones that they were preserving this WHOLE universe. Peter was also thinking very hard "TONY STARK IS DANGEROUS" across the universe to his counterpart on Titan. Hopefully the other young man would heed the warning.

Rocket told his counterpart that the Guardians were on Titan and that the humans should contact Nick Fury to send Captain Marvel to rescue them. Rocket also demanded the return of Gamora from the Soul Stone. Thor added his will to the Rabbit's in the hope that they could at least bring the brave woman back.

But most of Thor's focus joined with Nebula's. They reached across Wakanda and dissolved Thanos's minions, including the Titan's monstrous children. Then with the power of the Stones enhanced by the Megingjord belt, the two reached across the multiverse and dissolved all those who would seek out the Stones and use them to destroy, as Thanos did. Nebula was sending a single thought to her other self: "He is DEAD."

Natasha and Steven had the most difficult task, folding their original universe into this one. They willed all of the matter, energy, and potential to carry from their home universe through the portal to this one. It would enable this universe to become the prime universe rather than an alternate. And would again disperse the Stones to atoms so they could never be used again.

In a way, these two--and the brave souls on the other side of the portal--were dissolving the last five years. With one exception: The new beings who were born in those five years would be carried into this universe. Those children may not be born to the exact same people or the exact same circumstances, but they would all have a chance at life.

Natasha firmly told her counterpart that she could step up and take charge, but to remember to "get a life." Steve told his counterpart that he was never a perfect soldier, but still a good man. And that there were other ways to serve, including helping those who would have to deal with the losses that couldn't be undone. People like Wanda--and Thor.

Thor could feel the wave of potential coming through the portal as their universe dissolved and the Stones aligned with the reality being created by the nine of them linked through the belt.

Maybe because Thor was Asgardian, he could catch a glimpse of the future of this universe. Peter sighing as he read a TV headline about Tony Stark beginning a 30-year prison sentence. A woman--Tony's paramour, Pepper Potts--walking up to switch it off as a woman with long, dark hair carries in a young girl who holds her arms out to Pepper. They have a group hug.

Rhodes sitting in a chair in front of a glass wall, adjusting a visitor pass as he waited.

Okoye and M'Baku laughing with a trio of women as a man wearing a seal of office scowls.

Scott and Clint hugging children to them as the headline SOKOVIA ACCORDS ABOLISHED flashed on screens nearby.

Rabbit hugging Tree and the other Guardians, Nebula and Gamora clutching tight to each other.

Bruce--once more human-sized--deep in discussion with Jane and Erik while Darcy smirked at her army of interns.

Natasha sitting in a cafe with Steven's friend Samuel Wilson as they flipped through files of possible recruits. From the smiles on their faces they were enjoying the challenge--and the company.

Wanda, standing on a gray stone wall looking at the ocean, next to her a man with long brown hair and a metal arm. Below them, Steven and Thor himself sat on a familiar rocky shore, watching the sea. Behind them all, a sign reading New Asgard is hammered into place by Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek.

Thor blinked and he was back in Wakanda, gripping the belt with the others. If they did this, the nine of them would disappear along with the rest of their universe.

As one, the heroes Snapped.

Chapter 19: To be Pro-Accords is to be Pro-Peter imprisoned on the Raft

During Civil War, prop-Tony folks ranted about how Team Cap ignored the "sovereignty of nations" and that Team Cap were terrorists for operating in countries without the express permission of their governments. They also claimed that any true hero would sign the Accords, like Tony did. (Ignoring the fact that Tony never bothered to FOLLOW the Accords, making Tony both a hypocrite and an Accords-violating criminal by their own definition.) Their excuse for Peter not being registered was that he was not an Avenger and wasn't crossing international lines (except when Peter was extorted and kidnapped by Tony, of course).

Peter's both enhanced and wearing advanced tech, and according to Ant-Man and the Wasp, just the tech is enough to become subject to the Accords. So all of those people who villified Team Cap for crossing international lines and fighting villains without permission should be villifying Tony (and Peter in Far From Home) for the EXACT SAME ACTIONS, right? Otherwise it's a double standard that only exists "because Tony."

Vision had a locator chip in Infinity War, and Civil War, Infinity War, Agents of Shield, and Jessica Jones all confirmed that enhanced folks were denied their rights by the Accords, and that the Accords were never amended. So any pro-Accords folks should be insisting that Peter ALSO be forced to sign the Accords, reveal his identity, submit to retinal scans, DNA tests, and locator chips---and do NOTHING without the express permission of the U.N. panel and the leaders of the country he's operating in. Or that Peter be arrested and tossed on the Raft with no lawyers or constitutional rights, same as Team Cap.

Let's see what happens if Peter actually faces the consequences of his Accords violations. (This is set after Civil War, so Tony is still alive. Peter is arrested because he had no permission to cross international lines or operate in Germany as an unregistered enhanced.)

The comments on this ficlet inspired a story where Steve steals the Raft and Natasha makes him dress and behave like Jack Sparrow, but sadly suspiciouslyunalcoholicvodka took it down. It was at https://archiveofourown.org/works/24711688.

***

Tony paced as he listened to the flip phone ring. He said to himself, "Pick up, pick up, pick up."

Then the call connected and he heard Cap say, "I'm here."

He sank into a chair as he said, "You have to help me, Cap. The kid--he's--I can't--"

Cap interrupted to ask, "Tony, what's happened? What kid?"

Tony took a deep breath and admitted, "The spider kid in Germany. You have to get him out--he's only 15 years old."

Cap paused, then said incredulously, "You brought a MINOR to fight at the airport? Tony, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I WASN'T, all right?" Tony replied as he jumped up. He continued, "I know, I KNOW--I should never have approached him, never brought him to Germany. I just wanted to be sure I would win, I was going to make sure you left that airport in handcuffs. And now..."

Cap said, "Tony, just tell me what happened."

Tony shook his head but answered, "Ross has him--Peter Parker--on the Raft. Ross picked him up and gave him a choice: Register and operate on Ross's orders or else. The kid told him to go to hell, so Ross transported him to the Raft on Accords violations."

There was a lot Tony WASN'T saying. About how Ross contacted Tony to ask why Tony didn't register the "clearly enhanced individual" or get permission to include the kid in the airport op. Tony closed his eyes as he remembered Ross's pointed questions about the source of the kid's suit--and whether Tony had given advanced (Accords-violating) tech to that same unregistered enhanced.

Now Tony was being closely monitored to be sure he didn't have any more "creative interpretations" of the responsibilities--and limitations--laid out in the Accords. Or forget exactly what the consequences of violating the Accords would be. Tony couldn't shake the image of Peter in a shock collar and strait jacket. Just like Wanda had been when Tony turned his back on his former teammates and abandoned them to Ross's "care."

Unlike Cap, who'd broken his team out and kept them safe, at least so far.

Tony said, "Please, get the kid off the Raft. God knows what Ross is doing to him. You can't leave him there."

Cap could have said a LOT of things. About how Tony seemed okay with the others being left on the Raft to rot, or how Tony himself belonged there for going to Siberia without permission. But all Cap said was, "What kind of operation is this? Are you denouncing the Accords?"

Tony sat down again. He SHOULD. He knew he should tell the world that the Accords were a clusterfuck from the start. But he couldn't admit that, even to himself. He said, "No, I can't. I have too much to lose."

After a moment, Cap said, "Understood."

***

Five hours after Cap hung up, May Parker disappeared.

Less than 24 hours later, a text saying "Mission Accomplished" appeared on the burner phone. Hours later Ross called, ranting to Tony how the ENTIRE Raft had been stolen by that "damned traitor" Rogers and his crew.

Peter never came back or contacted Tony. Tony didn't really expect him to, not with the Accords in effect. Tony wasn't sure he WANTED to hear from Peter, now that Peter knew Tony had made Peter defend a document that stripped Peter of his human rights and denied him due process.

Tony's only consolation was that Peter was safe--and that Cap, at least, would make sure Peter stayed that way.

Chapter 20: Tony Stark has NEVER acted as "Peter Parker's Parental Figure"

There was a post online about how if Tony is Peter Parker's "parental figure," Tony is the most abusive one on the planet. He belittles Peter, makes fun of him, lies to him, uses Peter for Tony's own ends, then dumps Peter when Tony no longer needs him. What if someone pointed this out to Peter?

***

When Tony Stark threatened to tell Aunt May, Peter didn't think. He shot a web to tie Stark's hand to the doorknob and said, "Don't tell Aunt May."

Apparently Peter was going to Germany, whether he wanted to or not.

Suddenly, a figure blipped into Peter's room. When the helmet slid back, Peter was staring at an older version of himself. Peter said, "Whoa..."

Older Peter looked around and said, "Cool! I'm just in time."

Stark said, "What the--"

Older Peter slapped some tape over the Stark's mouth and webbed the middle-aged man's other hand to the door. Older Peter said, "You try anything and I'll kick your ass."

Peter gaped and said, "The hell is going on?"

Older Peter glared again at Stark, then sat down on Peter's bed. Older Peter said, "I'm from the future--like you already guessed."

Peter sat down as well as Older Peter continued, "Don't do it, kid."

Peter blinked and asked, "Don't do what?"

Older Peter answered, "Don't fall for this guy's bullshit. It doesn't go well for you--or the universe."

Peter leaned back against the headboard and said, "I don't understand."

Older Peter pointed at Stark and said, "We were so stupid. We thought Stark was great, that he was looking out for us, offering us money and a new suit, right?"

Peter nodded and said, "Right."

Older Peter nodded too and said, "And maybe we were thinking, well, you know it hasn't been that long since Ben--"

"Yeah, I get it," Peter interrupted. Then he said, "So why are we stupid?"

Older Peter frowned and said, "Because Stark is BAD NEWS. And we were too dumb to know it. Or really, I was too dumb. And things got bad...REALLY bad."

Older Peter looked at Peter and said, "So bad that now I'm going from universe to universe, trying to stop all the bad stuff from happening. And knocking some sense into my thick skull."

Peter frowned and said, "So where's your proof?"

Older Peter said, "The proof is already in this room. How did Stark get in here? By lying to Aunt May. Then Stark LOCKED HIMSELF in here with you--how creepy is that?"

Peter said, "Really creepy." He looked at the door and felt a little queasy, now that he thought about it.

Older Peter nodded and said, "And man, Stark just played you. All that talk about you dumpster-diving, and how crappy your suit is? Then followed up with an 'offer you can't refuse'? And you think this guy cares about you? Think about it--would May bribe and blackmail you like this? Would Ben?"

Peter's brows furrowed as he thought about it. He said, "So you're saying that Stark is--is just using me? Why?"

"Because we're the only ones dumb enough to believe him," Older Peter answered with a shrug. He continued, "And yeah, the suit you'd get was cool--after Ned disables the trackers and you manage not to instant-kill someone because of their police record."

"What!" Peter shouted. His eyes opened wide as he stared at Older Peter, then Stark.

Older Peter nodded and said, "Yeah, but there's more. Stark wants you to go to Germany because Captain America's team found out about five psycho assassins that might be unleashed and they're planning to stop them. Stark wants you to help arrest Team Cap so they won't be able to violate the Accords."

Peter frowned and said, "Psycho assassins? But why would anyone want to let psycho assassins loose on the world?"

Older Peter shrugged and said, "Stark. He doesn't care about that. He also doesn't care about US. You don't know it, but he's sending us to defend the Accords. And those Accords say it would be illegal to go stop the psycho assassins without the U.N. saying okay first."

As Peter's jaw dropped, Older Peter continued, "Plus, the Accords say enhanced people have to register with the government, give DNA samples, and wear trackers all the time. If they don't, they get sent someplace called the Raft. Wanda Maximoff--Scarlet Witch, we like her--she was put in a straight jacket and a SHOCK COLLAR. And they were all held without lawyers or even phone calls. If Cap hadn't broken them out, they'd still be there."

Peter frowned and asked, "And I helped Mr. Stark do that?"

Older Peter nodded and said, "Yep, and it gets worse. We still think he's cool, even after he ghosts us for months, then yells at us for making a mistake HE could have prevented. And Stark STILL disrespects us, even after WE save some wizard guy from being sucked into space. Then Stark's dumb plan means the evil guy wins and half the people in the universe turn to dust. And after all that crap about oversight and accountability with the Accords, Stark makes this superweapon that this one-eyed guy gives us with NO instructions and--and--"

Peter swallowed and asked, "And what?"

Older Peter looked away and said, "And we KILL all our friends because we don't know how the hell the thing works and because apparently Stark thought it was a good idea to build a superweapon and not care who ends up with it, so it goes to a teenager instead of say, an actual adult who knew what they were doing."

Older Peter grabbed Peter's shoulders and said, "You want to think Stark is your friend. Maybe your mentor or even--god, it's sick--some kind of dad replacement. But trust me, kid, NO PARENT would ever treat us like crap the way Stark does. Think about it. Would May EVER do anything like what I told you? Would Ben? THEY are your parental figures. And they act like it. Stark NEVER did."

Peter looked at Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark was looking shocked, but also guilty. Peter said, "I'm going to dissolve those webs. Get out and never come near me again."

***

After Stark left, Older Peter turned to Peter and said, "Don't worry about anything. A couple days from now, you're gonna get a bracelet of beads. They'll let you talk with a cool princess named Shuri. She's a tech goddess and she'll set you right up. And Cap will be in touch--but he'll demand you get an okay from May before doing anything. Because Cap KNOWS who your real parental figure is, and respects her."

Chapter 21: Tony mistreated his employees

It's funny how Far From Home puts the final nails in quite a few prop-Tony coffins: Tony confirms he is a complete hypocrite wanting everyone else to be under the Accords while building his own personal WMDs, he is very much in favor of the Surveillance State as long as he's the one watching the camera (and killing anyone he wants at the touch of a button), and he is very much like Hydra (with his own personal version of Project Insight). But one of the big ones is that Tony Stark was such a horrible boss that an entire crew of bitter ex-SI employees volunteered on a project to get back at Stark even after Stark was forced to kill himself. Imagine how horrible your experience of Stark must have been if even death is not sufficient payback. Tony demonstrates how horrible he is in his films: He sexually harasses Pepper and Natasha, mocks Happy, and pretends to out Rhodey while Don't Ask/Don't Tell is still in effect. (Tony also demonstrates he is homophobic and transphobic in the same charming scene.) And in Iron Man 2 and Far From Home he's shown as stealing credit for other people's work. So what if instead of becoming criminals, all of these disgruntled people used the tools available to get Tony put in jail/vilified in the press/stripped of money and power like he deserves?

Note that Tony's opinions of his friends are directly taken from a prop-Tony essay that claimed Tony was all alone and needed a hug. (Supposedly Rhodey and the others weren't actual friends or supportive because Tony bankrolled them.) Another brilliant attempt to woobify Tony that just makes him look like a jackass.

***

Tony paced the hallway in front of the courtroom. He said, "I can't believe they dug up 250 people for this lawsuit. What, did I spill coffee on someone's favorite mouse pad or something?"

Tony's lawyer shrugged and said, "Mister Stark, the particulars of the case were forwarded to you months ago. Did you not read them?" The lawyer could not say he was surprised.

Tony waved a hand and said, "I figured I'd throw enough money at it and it would go away. How could they not take the cash grab?"

The lawyer leaned back and said, "The plaintiffs want more than money. And I must remind you to prepare yourself, Mister Stark, because there is a very good chance they will get it."

Tony scowled and said, "That's because the press is having a field day pretending I'm some kind of monster. "Iron Jackass," "Iron Monster"? You've seen what I'm dealing with!"

The lawyer had also seen the depositions, and thought the names pretty accurate. But he wasn't paid to believe in his client's good qualities, especially when they were practically non-existent. So all he said was, "Yes, sir, I'm aware."

Tony stopped and waved when he saw Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy striding down the hallway. He said, "Finally the cavalry arrives! Took you long enough."

The trio looked at each other, then at the lawyer, who shrugged. Pepper said, "Tony, we're not here to save you. We're witnesses for the plaintiffs."

Tony dropped onto a chair and gaped as he said, "What the hell?"

Rhodey nodded and said, "We've seen too many incidents, Tones. You've gone too far, too often. You need to be put in check."

Happy said, "Sorry boss, but you're a mess."

Tony sneered at Happy and said, "How would you know? You don't lift your face out of your free Starkphone long enough to notice anything."

Then he shook a finger at Rhodey and said, "And you wouldn't be more than a lieutenant if it weren't for me. All those pretty medals and crap are because of me!"

Tony stood up and strode up to Pepper. He tried to loom over her, but of course he couldn't because she was taller and way cooler. He sneered, "Everything you are is because of me. If I hadn't boosted you, you'd still be a glorified personal assistant. Traitor!"

Pepper arched an eyebrow and said, "My record as CEO is far better than yours, especially because I don't get drunk, fire WMDs into a crowd at my own party, and ogle my staff. Or steal credit for others' ideas. All of which I will be testifying to in the hopes of you finally growing up and understanding that just because you are Tony Stark, you don't get to mistreat the people around you."

As the trio turned and made their way over to the lawyers for the other side, Tony sat back down and slumped. Maybe he should have actually viewed those HR "dos and don'ts for acceptable behavior in the office" videos back when he had the chance.

Chapter 22: Tony takes credit for Ultron (so stop blaming Wanda)

For YEARS prop-Tony folks lied about Ultron. They claimed Wanda "mindraped" Tony into building Ultron, ignoring the facts that 1) Tony worked on the flawed Ultron program months or years before Sokovia and 2) Wanda's influence is shown as a red mist in people's eyes when she's influencing them. Tony's eyes were clear from the moment he left the bunker. TONY is responsible for using the scepter to unleash Ultron on the Internet and the world, NOT Wanda. (Bruce was involved too, but he acknowledged his mistake right away.)

Now, we have proof that Tony takes CREDIT for Ultron. He's PROUD of it. So prop-Tony folks need to shut up about Wanda and acknowledge that Tony is responsible for unleashing Ultron on the world.

***

Carol Danvers watched as Rhodes dragged the demented troll down the hall. She looked over at the others and said, "Did that jackass actually sneer about our 'precious freedoms'?"

Romanoff glanced over and nodded. She said, "Yes, he's always had a somewhat shaky grasp on the idea that civil rights exist for everyone, not just him."

The Thor guy clenched his fists as he said, "I find it strange that Stark now boasts of his 'suit of armor around the world'. It's almost as though he no longer remembers the damage that Stark brought upon the world with his recklessness."

"He's not the one who suffered the consequences," Rogers said quietly.

Danvers looked to the others, who shrugged agreement. She said, "Now I'm kinda regretting I saved his ungrateful ass."

Chapter 23: Tony doesn't care about the world

It's really ironic: It seems like a lot of prop-Tony folks are "eat the rich" in real life, but give a fictional selfish multi-billionaire a pass for everything.

Tony showed many times he didn't care about the rest of the world as long as he and his got theirs. Not only in refusing to erase the collateral damage of five years after the Snap, but also there's no evidence he ever shared ANYTHING. No arc reactors in every hospital, no repulsors powering safe lifting equipment, no robot prosthetics. In fact, Tony didn't even bother to invent technology to help clear all the trash after the Snap. He only does things if it's for himself, his best friend, or to get paid (Damage Control).

What if someone pointed that out?

***

Tony swallowed and shifted in his chair. The two people holding guns on him didn't move, but one of the tech wizards currently digging deep into his systems glanced over and said, "I suggest you not fidget. It took a while to persuade them not to just kill you on sight."

"Eat the rich," said one of the gunmen. He was wearing coveralls, gloves, boots, a full face mask, and wraparound sunglasses, so Tony couldn't tell whether the guy was serious or mocking Tony. Maybe both.

Instead, Tony said, "You really think you're going to get away with this?"

The other techie nodded and said, "We're using so many servers and dummy corporations to distribute your blood-drenched billions that you'll never find any of it again. Plus our avatar convinced Pepper Potts that it's a legit change of heart. She's thrilled by the way. Said giving Stark Industries to the employees past and present makes up a little bit for how crappy you treated them."

The first techie said, "We're transferring the patents to a trust for that kid Ms. Potts is carrying. And transferred your remaining cash and assets to her because she's way more responsible than you. All of your parents' foundations and charities are fully funded, along with that one you created to get a publicity boost from MIT."

He continued, "And we've got your whole press release already recorded. Because of course Tony Stark wouldn't donate a dime if his name wasn't plastered on a building somewhere or in the latest news feed."

The gunman who'd been silent until now said, "The best part is if you try to claim this WASN'T your idea, no one will believe you. The security feeds and your AI will confirm you drafted this plan over the last few months, when you were alone. Like you are today."

The gunman continued, "Consider it making up for all the years you spent keeping life-saving, life-bettering technology for yourself and your buddies instead of helping the world, not to mention hoarding all the cash even after the Snap."

The first gunman said, "Just be thankful we're only taking your money."

As the floating bank account numbers continued to drop, Tony realized he was lucky they hadn't brought a guillotine.

Chapter 24: Howard Stark learned a lesson Tony never did

I've often said I much prefer Dominic Cooper's Howard Stark over RDJ's Tony Stark. Here's another reason. In the first season of Agent Carter, Howard's vault of "failed experiments" is broken into, and people die from his inventions. By the end of the season, Howard realized that just because he dreamed something up, that wasn't a good enough reason to build it. He learned that he's not infallible, and to listen to other people (especially Peggy).

Tony Stark never got the message. He proved this once and for all with EDITH. Tony assisted in the creation of Project Insight, unleashed Ultron onto the Internet, and delivered the Time Stone to Thanos. But Tony STILL thought it was a good idea to build a weapon of mass destruction, pair with privacy-violating software, and point that weapon at Earth. (Funny that he pointed it down, not up, if he was so concerned with an alien invasion.)

What do you think Howard would say to that?

***

Tony laughed to himself as he rubbed his hands with glee. His personal superweapon was ready to launch. Soon he would be able to find anyone, anywhere. And thanks to his super-hacker technology, he'd be able to know where EVERYONE was at every moment, and know EVERYTHING about their lives. The hundreds of weaponized drones ready to blast anyone in the world at a single command was just a super-cool bonus.

A bright flash of light and sonic boom knocked Tony to the ground. When he sat up, he saw a vaguely familiar-looking brunette holding a gun on him. He said, "How the hell did you get in here, sweetcheeks?"

The woman ignored him and said, "Howard, is it what we suspected?"

Tony's jaw dropped as he saw his own father. Howard Stark was young enough to be Tony's son. Howard looked up from where he was attaching a device to Tony's console. Howard said, "It's worse. No safeguards whatsoever."

Howard's face turned grim as he continued, "Just looking at it, you'd think it's a Hydra device. You sure he's my son?"

Tony shrank back under the two angry glares. He said, "I had to do it! I have to protect the world! We could be invaded at any time!"

The brunette arched an eyebrow and asked, "Then why does your planned orbital path point this device at the people on THIS planet?"

Howard nodded and asked, "And why does it need the ability to spy on anyone with technology? Do you think Martians are hiding in Chicago?"

The device on the console beeped. Howard removed it and looked at Tony with disappointment on his face. Howard said, "I couldn't believe it when Peggy brought this to me."

Tony looked at the woman again and realized she was a young Peggy Carter. She was gorgeous in person, but she didn't look impressed with Tony. More like disgusted.

Howard was shaking his head as he said, "I thought, no, my son could NEVER create something so destructive. Not after seeing how much I screwed up. But no, you have me beat. You almost put a floating superweapon in space."

Tony frowned and asked, "Almost?"

Peggy smirked and said, "Oh yes. There was no way we'd let you get away with this villainy. So Howard just had your satellite blow itself up. He's also sent evidence of your illegal actions to the appropriate authorities of this universe. I predict you're going to experience a severe restriction on your future activities. In fact, you may want to practice living without any modern technology. That's how they made sure that hacker in this universe wasn't able to cause any more trouble. I bet his sentence will look like a slap on the wrist compared to yours."

Howard collected his device and stepped up next to Peggy. Howard said, "I read what you've done in this universe. You never figured it out, did you? You make TERRIBLE decisions. You can't be trusted with technology because you think you have the right to do anything you want. I guess that's partly my fault, that you never learned to take responsibility or to understand the consequences of your actions. Maybe now you will. Because if the people of this world are smart, you're going to be living in a cave away from anyone else you could hurt or exploit for the rest of your life."

Another flash and the two were gone. As Tony's systems started a complete shutdown, he could hear sirens approaching.

Chapter 25: Sam Wilson thinks for himself (and would never prop Tony)

It's pretty obvious that when a character suddenly props Tony, the prop-Tony writer never bothered to learn about that character. This is true of Sam Wilson. In a lot of prop-Tony stories Sam suddenly "sees the light," signs the Accords, and starts bashing Steve and propping Tony. This ignores the fact that Sam has always been his own man. Sam volunteers to stop Project Insight and rejects the Accords FIRST. According to Anthony Mackie, Sam is still pissed at Tony in Infinity War for Tony's actions in Civil War. So Sam would NEVER prop Tony.

***

Sam hid his frown as he sat at the table in the conference room at the compound and listened to Stark drone on and on (and on) about how wrong and awful Steve was and how the Accords were just fine and sure they would get them amended soon just sign now and forget about it. Sam could see through all of Stark's boasting and lies, and behind it was Stark's enormous ego. Stark was apparently desperate to win some twisted competition with Steve that Steve probably never even noticed going on.

Sam had volunteered to be the distraction for this operation, but he was seriously regretting it. Sam was starting to think someone actually COULD be bored to death.

Stark seemed to be finishing up his combination rant-threat-bribe and shoved a piece of paper across the table at Sam. Stark said, "So you just need to sign the Accords and you'll be out of trouble and back on the winning side."

Sam shifted forward to look at the signing page. It basically said he couldn't do ANYTHING without the UN's say-so. Funny how this single sheet didn't mention all the crap the Accords did to screw over enhanced people: The mandatory registration, tracking, and DNA and fingerprint collection.

Stark sat down and leaned back with a satisfied expression. Like Sam had already caved and left Team Cap for Team Iron Crap.

Sam felt a pulse of warmth at his ankle. It was the signal that the rest of the team had hacked into the systems. They now could take control of everything---including all the systems Stark had illegally hacked into---at the push of a button. If they ever needed to.

Sam stood up and stretched. He said, "Yeah, no. From the start I thought this was a bad deal, and it doesn't sound any better coming from you than it did from Ross. I listened because I figured I owed it to Rhodes, but I'm gonna pass." He of course didn't mention that Rhodes was only part of the reason Sam was here.

As he turned to leave, Sam heard one of Stark's repulsors power up. Sam didn't bother to look at Stark as he said, "I already knew you make a habit of shooting people who aren't armed or a threat to you. And now you've confirmed that Steve was telling the truth: You DO shoot people in the back."

A shot fired, but a red mist caught the burst of energy and sent it back at Stark, knocking Stark to the ground. As Sam reached the door, he glanced over at Stark and said with disgust, "The thing that gets me, is after EVERYTHING you did---bringing that kid to the airport fight, exposing Clint's family to Ross, violating the Accords after ARRESTING us for doing the same damn thing, leaving us to rot on the Raft, and practically killing Steve and Barnes---you somehow STILL think you're a hero. And somehow you think I'M the one who doesn't think for himself or understand what's going on."

Sam shook his head and walked out. A ladder dropped down in front of him. He grinned as he climbed up into the invisible quinjet. His team---the REAL HEROES---were waiting for him.

Chapter 26: Ultron would have done nothing to stop Thanos

Quite a few people pointed this out: Ultron would have done NOTHING against Thanos's forces. The Avengers were able to smash up Tony's robots, so why would Tony be dumb enough to think Thanos's army would be affected by them?

Tony expected Ultron to replace the Avengers. So he was going to put "a suit of armor around the world" (whether the countries of the world wanted it or not) and go home. Some hero.

***

The empty compound was so quiet that Natasha could hear the electricity humming in a console as she approached the tactical center. She wasn't surprised to find Steve running scenarios on the 4-D viewer. She asked, "You do know that every word Tony spewed was a crap-filled lie, right?"

Steve looked over and said, "Yes, but now I'm sure. Look at this." He reset the timeline and ran the incident in New York and the battle of Wakanda. Natasha shuddered at the Ultron robots added to the scene. She still remembered how Ultron was convinced he was doing the right thing even as he wreaked havoc.

Like father, like son.

Natasha looked at the battles. The robots didn't even slow things down. The weird guy in New York waved them away and they exploded. Thanos used his half-filled gauntlet to warp them into puzzle pieces.

Steve said, "Tony wanted Ultron to replace the Avengers. That scenario is even worse."

Natasha stepped forward and pressed the Pause button. She asked, "Are you going to tell Tony?" That was assuming Tony was done sulking. He'd left as soon as he was healthy and had ignored them ever since. Apparently Tony Stark couldn't be bothered to help the world recover.

She couldn't say she was surprised at Tony going off and leaving an entire planet to suffer, but she WAS disappointed.

Steve shrugged and asked, "What do you think? We all failed. I don't really want to kick someone when they're down."

Natasha nodded and said, "You're a better person than me, Rogers. If Tony had tried to lie about ME that way after being the one who took the Time Stone right to Thanos, I might've smacked him into the wall, IV or not."

Steve turned off the machine and put an arm around Natasha's shoulders, steering her toward the kitchen. He said, "I'm hungry, for the first time since...I'll make some sandwiches."

As they walked down the hall, Natasha felt the beginnings of a smile. It was the first one since IT happened.

The world might never be the same, but they would make it.

Chapter 27: Tony would be horrified if someone did to 14-year-old Morgan what Tony did to 14-year-old Peter

Someone online pointed out that many prop-Tony folks ignore the "grooming" and "blackmail" parts of Tony's conversation with Peter (and the fact that Tony LOCKED himself in a room with a 14-year-old) because Tom Holland isn't 14. But also because he's male. So they recreated the scene with still photos of a 14-year-old girl in Peter's place. It really shows how creepy Tony is in the recruitment scene. What if he had to watch the same thing he did to Peter happen to a 14-year-old Morgan?

***

In the moment of his Snap, Tony saw glimpses of the past. He winced as he watched himself mock people's trauma and lash out without thinking of the consequences.

Then he watched glimpses of the possible futures. Pepper gracefully growing older as Morgan grew up.

He froze as he watched a scene unfold before him. An older and grayer Happy was surrounded by a group of suits as he explained to them the importance of badges in tracking visitors at SI. He didn't notice as one middle-aged man broke off and slipped down a hallway.

The man reached a lab door and slipped inside. Tony froze as he saw Morgan. She was 14, judging by the birthday cards on a lab table. She was still on the small side and lean like her mom, her hair in a long ponytail.

She looked up and asked, "Who are you?"

The man smiled as he locked the door. He said, "My name is John Ivins. You may have heard of IvinsCorp?"

Morgan's eyes widened as she said, "You make those totally cool biobots! I have one that's a snake."

Ivins nodded and came closer. He said, "Always good to meet a fan. Especially one as talented as you."

Morgan fiddled with the tablet in front of her as she said, "I haven't been doing much."

Tony frowned as Ivins moved closer to the teen as Ivins said, "You don't need to be so modest with me, Morgan. I've seen your work and it's VERY impressive."

As Morgan looked up, Ivins was standing right beside her. She asked nervously, "Wha-what do you mean?"

Ivins pulled out his phone and projected a video of a couple of small armored figures zipping around a bus accident. One kept the bus from falling off the edge of a parking garage while the other lasered open the busted door in the back and started moving people out. Ivins asked, "That is you, isn't it? Or should I say your 'bots?"

Part of Tony felt pride at his daughter's technical genius, but another part gasped in horror as Ivins put a "friendly" hand on Morgan's shoulder and said, "That's why I have a mission for you."

Morgan bit her lip, then asked, "What is it?"

Ivins answered, "I'm getting a small team together for an important project. There is a mutant menace known as the X-Men, and we need some firepower to protect the good men and women who will be risking their lives to capture them. They could really use your 'bots on their side. With you at the control panel, of course. The mutants are in New England, so you won't even need a passport."

Morgan stepped back and said, "I---I can't. I've got homework and projects and---"

Tony felt a strange deja vu as Ivins shrugged and said, "That's too bad. Maybe we should check with your mom or Mister Hogan? They do know what you've been building in your SECRET lab, right?"

Morgan grabbed Ivin's arm. She said, "No---no, you can't tell them. They'd just worry but I need to HELP. And I don't have to get THAT close to direct the 'bots. I'm getting really good. I can hide a half a block away, just so I can get the distances and perspectives. So I'm not REALLY in danger and they would just worry and you CAN'T say anything."

Ivins smiled at the hand on his arm and said, "Then I guess I should welcome you, Iron Mistress, and your Iron Knights to the cause."

Tony could only pray that this future NEVER HAPPENED to his little girl.

As Tony felt the stones burn him from the inside out, he knew it wasn't any worse than the burn of shame. He wondered if he looked as victorious when HE'D successfully blackmailed 14-year-old Peter.

His last thought as the Snap ended was, "God, I hope not."

Chapter 28: Tony had a nanny his whole life

It's ironic that Tony said it was weird he still had a nanny at age 14. Apparently he didn't notice that he had nannies until the day he died. Some of them he even made himself: His AIs filled a lot of the same functions: Took care of his chores, cleaned up his messes, and generally looked after him. The only difference was that the AI versions had no choice in the matter, and also did the fun jobs of hacking into private databases and shooting and killing on command.

Set at the end of Iron Man 3.

***

Bruce shook his head as Tony ignored Bruce's statement that Bruce wasn't that kind of doctor. Tony never did bother to listen to anyone who disagreed with him. Not because Tony was right---just because Tony couldn't seem to acknowledge when he was wrong.

Tony said, "I'm 14 years old, I still have a nanny. That was weird."

Bruce snorted.

Tony looked over and asked, "What was that for?"

Bruce debated letting it slide, but figured what the hell. He said, "You're 43 years old, and you still have a nanny. I just find it funny."

Tony sat up and glared as he asked, "What the hell does that mean?"

Bruce stood up and walked to the window, then said, "What do you think it means, Tony? You're still doing whatever you want and expecting other people to pick up after you. Think about your life. Who does all the chores? Who has to soothe the outraged stockholders and government officials? Who gets stuck with the drudgery of the day-to-day responsibilities that most people recognize are part of being an adult? Not you. Jarvis, Pepper, Happy, even Rhodey. They all have to clean up your messes. Somehow you've managed to reach middle age but never grow up."

Tony's jaw dropped but he didn't say anything. Probably because there wasn't anything TO say.

Bruce headed for the exit. He figured he may as well pack a bag and give the others a call.

He was either going to get the silent treatment or an eviction notice. It depended on whether Tony decided on a sulk or a tantrum when his brain came back online.

Too bad that Tony admitting the truth of the situation and getting actual help wasn't even a possibility. That would be the adult thing to do.

Chapter 29: Tony is the only Avenger who holds a grudge

This is interesting, that Tony is the only Avenger who holds grudges. Tony has done far more to hurt the world and the other Avengers than anything that was ever done to Tony, yet they forgive Tony quickly. (Too quickly, in my opinion.) It's kind of amazing how petty Tony is. He had years to grow up and acknowledge his responsibilities and his role in many of the problems of the MCU, but never did. He was so petty he refused to make a phone call even when the fate of the universe hung in the balance. He really is a middle-aged manchild.

Note: Morgan's rant is what actual prop-Tony stories do to Team Cap. This is what prop-Tony folks consider appropriate punishment for Team Cap disagreeing with Tony about the Accords. It's rather disturbing.

*****

Tony hid behind a bush as he eavesdropped on the women in his life.

Morgan sat in the grass and viciously ripped a leaf into pieces as she said, "I hate him. I hate him and I never want to see him again, EVER."

Pepper nodded beside her daughter and said, "You sound really mad at Daddy."

Morgan pounded a fist on the ground and said, "I want him to DIE. I want him to be locked away in a dark prison FOREVER. I want to take away everything of his and throw it in a FIRE. I will never never NEVER talk to him again."

Pepper said, "Well, there's no denying you're a Stark. It's been two weeks since Daddy took your robot apart."

Morgan stood up and said, "I wasn't FINISHED. It was MINE. And he took it for his stupid suit."

Pepper knelt up and gently hugged her daughter. Pepper said, "I know you're angry, Morgan. And I won't tell you what to do or how to feel. But I want you to think about this: We all do things that make other people upset. You can stay as mad as you want for as long as you want, but think about how awful it's making you feel. And how awful it would be if something bad happened because you still held a grudge and wouldn't talk to your daddy. I've seen it happen. It caused a lot of pain for a lot of people."

Tony jammed his hands into his pockets. He froze, thinking of a time years ago when his pocket held an olive branch in the shape of a flip-phone.

He slowly sat down as he looked to where Pepper was still hugging his daughter. He thought about how none of the Avengers held Ultron against him after deciding to work together to defeat the AI. And he thought about how even when Thanos was coming, Tony wouldn't call Cap. Not even to warn Cap about the danger Vision was in.

If only Tony had grown up and manned up enough to be as generous with the others as they'd been to him. How different things might have been...

Chapter 30: If Tony "worked ahead of time to make the Accords better," he's okay with stripping people of their rights

Someone claimed recently that in Civil War we see that "Tony has both read and campaigned for the Accords to be better, hence why he practically begs for the team's support" and "Tony is seen in Civil War distressed and pleading with the Avengers to work with him to help make the Accords into something that can work," which are both completely nonexistent in the films. (Then again, this person claims that Tony's reputation was ruined by the events of Age of Ultron because Wanda's part in it was suppressed, when it's obvious from the films that TONY'S actions are suppressed. He'd be in jail otherwise.)

But it got me thinking. We know from Civil War that the Accords allow people to be shot on sight and denied legal representation and due process (Bucky) and that the Accords allow people to be held in conditions that violate the Geneva Conventions indefinitely (Team Cap). Infinity War and all the other MCU films are the Accords as usual, so we know NO AMENDMENTS were made. Infinity War also showed that Sam was right---enhanced folks like Vision are "Lojacked like criminals."

So if this person's claim was true, that Tony campaigned for the Accords to be better (and accepted what the Accords were actually shown to be), this theory actually makes Tony WORSE. Because that means not only did Tony not care at all about the rights of others (which we know from Civil War because he supports the Accords even after seeing them in action and violating them himself), but it also shows that Tony believes stripping people of their rights is an acceptable compromise. And what could Tony possibly have gained by accepting this compromise? Well, this person's theory makes the rumored "prosthetics clause" (which treats the Iron Man suits as prosthetics and prevents Tony from losing his suits) much more likely.

What if someone found out about those alleged secret negotiations?

***

Ned Leeds was a good kid. He looked out for his friends, tried to do the right thing. So when he realized how easy it was to break into Tony Stark's systems, he figured he would keep digging until he tripped an alarm or something. Then Iron Man would show up, Ned would say he was Spider-Man's "guy in the chair" and explain the holes in Stark's security. And maybe get an invite to Stark Tower.

His brow furrowed as he said, "I don't understand." He thought it would be fun, looking at Iron Man armor schematics and finding out Tony Stark's favorite websites. But this...

Peter rolled over from where he was sprawled on a tarp dissecting an old VCR. He asked, "Did you break something Ned? Mister Stark won't like that we---"

"No!" Ned interrupted him by shoving the laptop so Peter can read the screen. Ned continued, "Look at these emails from SecStateTRoss at .gov. They're about the Sokovia Accords, but weeks before anybody even heard about them."

Both boys frowned as they read Tony Stark's claims that his suits were "prostheses" and shouldn't be regulated under the Accords.

Peter shook his head and said, "This makes it sound like Mister Stark wants the Accords to apply to people like me, but not him."

Ned nodded and said, "And look at what Stark's agreeing to. People who are enhanced have to register, and wear trackers, and give DNA. And they can be locked up indefinitely---that sounds like a really long time. They don't get lawyers or trials or ANYTHING."

Peter looked frozen as he stared at the evidence that Tony Stark didn't care what happened to anyone else as long as Mister Stark himself wouldn't be affected.

Ned sat back and looked at Peter as he asked, "Did you know about all this? I mean, you kind of fought for these Accords when you were in Germany, right? But it doesn't sound like they're actually a good thing."

Peter shook his head and said, "Yeah, you're right. This is AWFUL." He looked at Ned and asked, "What are we gonna do? We've got to do SOMETHING."

Ned frowned and looked at the screen. He replied, "People need to know about this."

Peter nodded and said, "We have to tell them. Like Wikileaks or something?"

Ned pulled the laptop back toward himself and started typing. He said, "But first, we gotta make sure nobody finds out it was US who leaked it."

He looked at Peter and said, "We CAN'T let this Ross guy catch you. Because Mister Stark sounds perfectly okay with letting Ross do some really horrible things."

Chapter 31: Steve would never choose Tony over Natasha

Apparently there are some stories out there where Steve dumps Natasha for Tony, and Natasha is treated like a shrew because she gets upset about it. You can tell it's a prop-Tony story because both Steve and Natasha are unrecognizable. Steve would NEVER treat anyone that way, and there's no way he would forsake his deep, meaningful relationship with Natasha for whatever prop-Tony folks think Tony offers. And secondly, Steve is one of the most empathetic characters in the MCU. There's no way he'd let Natasha be bashed for very valid feelings over a break-up. It's just another example of the horrible ways prop-Tony writers warp the characters. (And makes me wish prop-Tony writers would just leave Team Cap out of their stories completely.)

Note: I know Natasha wouldn't actually fall for Tony's lies. :)

***

Steve was smiling as he came through the door. He'd had a surprisingly easy day at work, so he left early to buy fresh cherries and champagne along with their usual groceries. He'd surprise Natasha with some cherry vareniki. Steve had FINALLY learned how to crimp the ends so the little dumplings didn't fall apart when cooked.

Hopefully a successful recipe would help him get up the nerve to ask Natasha to marry him and break open the champagne IF she said yes. He was lucky and in love and wanted to make sure Natasha knew how much she meant to him.

A sound from the living room made him drop the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and move into the rest of the apartment. He stopped when he saw Natasha digging a knife into the book Steve had left on the coffee table. Steve rushed forward as he asked, "Natasha, what's wrong? What happened?"

Natasha looked up, then glared as she said, "You have the nerve to ask me what's wrong? And to just walk in here like I don't know EVERYTHING?"

Steve stopped and frowned in confusion as he asked, "What are you talking about?"

Natasha sneered and replied, "Don't play dumb. Or are you surprised that Tony told me about your plans?"

Steve frowned and said, "But I haven't told Tony anything." That didn't make any sense. Steve HAD talked to a few people, but Tony wasn't one of them. They weren't that close. Although Steve HAD talked to Clint at the Tower the other day after sparring. But the gym was empty and Tony wouldn't eavesdrop on private conversations...would he?

Natasha crossed her arms and asked, "Oh, so no pillow talk with Tony? You didn't discuss how you decided to have your LOVER 'let me down easy' by telling me you were dumping me to live with Stark in the Tower?"

Steve's jaw dropped. Then he recovered and said, "Natasha, I don't know what Tony told you, but you are the only lover I've had since getting out of the ice."

Natasha's brow furrowed as she said, "But Tony told me...he said you were tired of your boring life and were ready for something bigger and better."

Steve asked, "And Tony thought that HE was the bigger and better?"

Natasha shook her head and said, "He told me you two had stopped dancing around each other and were together."

Then Natasha tilted her head and continued, "He also said I should get away before you got home, not hang around like a clingy ex who couldn't get the message it was over."

Steve hugged Natasha and said, "Thank God you didn't listen. I'd have gone crazy if I came home to find you gone. I swear to you, I have NEVER been interested in Tony. And even if I had been, I would NEVER go behind someone's back like that."

He looked at Natasha and continued, "I LOVE you. Please believe me. I am NOT planning to break up with you. I-I came home early to work up the nerve to ask you to MARRY me."

Natasha's brows rose as she asked, "Really?"

Steve nodded and said, "I was going to woo you with cherry vareniki."

Natasha hugged Steve again and said, "I can't believe I fell for Tony's lies. I'm sorry I was such a bitch when you came in."

Steve shook his head and said, "I don't think you were a bitch, just hurt."

Natasha smiled as she took Steve's hand and pulled him to the kitchen. She said, "All right, then. Make me my dumplings while we figure out what the hell Tony was thinking and what we're going to do about it."

Steve thought Tony was going to regret his attempt to break up Steve and Natasha. But Steve was grateful for one thing: Steve was now sure he would be able to ask Natasha that very important question.

As long as the dumplings turned out.

Chapter 32: For prop-Tony folks, it's okay to blackmail Peter Parker into being a child soldier if it's Tony doing it

I got another comment hand-waving away Tony's crimes against Peter. It occurred to me that it shows how prop-Tony folks are okay with horrible things if Tony's doing them. For example, if Thaddeus Ross stalked Peter online, lied to May Parker to get access to Peter, locked himself in a room with a 14-year-old, mocked Peter's lack of resources to bribe the teen with new tech, ignored Peter's repeated refusals to leave the country, and finally threatened to tell May Parker about Spider-Man to force Peter to do what Ross wanted, I think even prop-Tony folks would have a problem with it. And if they have a problem with Ross doing it, they should have a problem with anyone else doing it--including Tony.

I think even Tony would be uncomfortable in this scenario.

***

Tony was about to get out of the car at the Parker building when Friday said, "The kid just walked in, but he's already got company."

Tony frowned and said, "Show me."

A screen opened up in the air showing the kid--Peter--looking at his unexpectedly hot aunt on the sofa with Thaddeus Ross.

Tony's frowned deepened as he listened to Ross give the aunt some line that got Ross alone in the kid's bedroom. Tony shifted uneasily as he watched Thaddeus Ross lock the door.

The drone had audio as well as video. Tony paled as he watched and listened to Ross using similar tactics and lines to the ones Tony planned on to get Parker to do what Ross wanted. Ross kept ignoring Peter's refusals.

Finally Ross threatened to tell May Parker about Spider-Man. The exact same thing Tony was planning to do if he didn't get his way. As Peter webbed Ross's hand and agreed to do what Ross wanted, Tony cringed inside.

If he'd been here a few minutes earlier, TONY would have been the one lying to May Parker and locking himself in a room with Peter. TONY would have been the one making fun of the poor kid so Peter would feel like he had to have Stark tech to measure up.

And TONY would have been the one blackmailing a child.

Tony leaned back in his seat, thinking about his plan to get the kid to attack Cap, Barnes, and Wilson. Pitting a CHILD against dangerous and possibly desperate men. What the hell had he been thinking?

Friday interrupted Tony's thoughts as she said, "Incoming call, boss. It's Secretary Ross."

Tony gestured to let the call come through. Before he could speak, Ross said, "This is Ross. I hear you're back in the city. Good. I've got a package for you to pick up."

Ross continued, "Don't bother asking any questions. This is need-to-know basis and all you need to know is I'm loaning you a new asset to help take down Rogers and Barnes. Don't screw it up, Stark."

As Tony heard Ross hang up, Tony realized how screwed-up his whole plan was. And wondered how he could even begin to fix it.

Chapter 33: Steve never punched a conscientious objector, but Tony shot an unarmed medic

In a comment from PikWik on a request for a story where a real-life WW2 hero bashes Steve, PikWik said, "In Captain America's First Avenger, Steve Roger hit a guy in the movies for being (possibly) a conscientious objector." Is the "possible conscientious objector" quietly suggesting that war is not the answer, or that they could never take a life? No, the "conscientious objections" are disrespectful comments. Here they are:

Commercial Announcer: "War continues to ravage Europe. But help is on the way. Every able-bodied young man is lining up to serve his country. Even little Timmy is doing his part collecting scrap metal. Nice work, Timmy!"

The "possibly conscientious objector": Who cares? Play the movie already!"

Commercial Announcer: Meanwhile, overseas, our brave boys are showing the Axis powers that the price freedom is never too high.

The "possibly conscientious objector": "Let’s go! Get on with it! Hey, just start the cartoon!"

Sound like a "possibly conscientious objector" to you?

These "conscientious objections" are making the families of servicemen and women cry, so Steve told the man to show some respect. This bully turned it into a fight. Also note that the "possible conscientious objector" beat Steve (Steve is on the ground with a bloody mouth), but Steve never actually hit him.

What's also in the films? Tony Stark shooting an unarmed Sam, who's a trained paramedic and coming to help Rhodey after trying to catch Rhodey after Vision shoots Rhodey's arc reactor. Ever wonder what Rhodey would think about that?

***

Rhodey was sitting in his wheelchair next to Tony at the compound, flipping through channels when he saw footage of Leipzig. He froze as he watched himself falling, with Tony and Sam diving after him.

Tony shifted on the couch and said, "You shouldn't really watch that."

Rhodey ignored him. He appreciated the lack of sound with the clip when his body hit the ground. He watched Tony rip away Rhodey's faceplate.

He smiled as he saw Sam approaching. Of course their team medic would be coming to assess Rhodey's condition.

Then Rhodey's jaw dropped as he watched Tony lift his gauntlet and fire at an unarmed Sam. Sam flipped over completely and landed on his neck.

Rhodey clicked off the TV and turned to stare at Tony. He asked, "What the hell?"

Tony crossed his arms and said, "I was upset."

Rhodey maneuvered the wheelchair and said, "What the HELL is that supposed to mean? Sam was UNARMED. Sam is a goddamn MEDIC who was coming to help me. And you shot him--Sam fell on his NECK. You could have PARALYZED him. You could have KILLED him."

Tony snapped, "He's fine."

Rhodey shook his head and said, "I can't believe you. Sam was home free and instead turned back to try and save me. And that's how you thank him? And since when is it okay to shoot defenseless people? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Rhodey maneuvered himself out of the room. He couldn't be near Tony right now. And he wasn't sure how long it would be until he would want to be in the same room with him again.

Chapter 34: Tony wouldn't be forced to house Team Cap--and Team Cap wouldn't force their way onto Tony's property

It's amusing to me the lengths prop-Tony folks go to when they're trying to pretend Tony is a helpless woobie. This is one of the most obvious ploys: That "the Rogues" are pardoned and Tony is "forced" to house them at the compound, or in the Tower.

The story goes one of two ways:
1.) Tony hides away in fear, so characters turned into Tony props have to save him. One gem even has members of Team Cap attempting assault.
2.) Tony humiliates Team Cap by withholding resources, informing them of restrictions, or (suprise!) having characters turned into props bashing Team Cap.

None of it makes any sense. Who exactly would be able to force Tony to do anything? Canon shows he gets away with actual felonies with no consequences. It's laughable that Team Cap would re-enter the U.S. without dictating their own terms for returning. If Tony or his props started disrespecting Team Cap, Team Cap would shrug and go somewhere else. And no member of Team Cap has ever been shown forcing their presence on anyone. There's no reason to think they'd behave any differently if they were sharing space with Tony or his props. Team Cap have each other and their allies. They'd probably be happy to let Tony pout in his corner as long as he wants.

***

Tony spun in his chair. He smirked as he thought about what Team Crap would find when they went to their assigned rooms: Dorm rooms that were pretty much prison cells. Hard beds, leaky pipes, unreliable HVAC (including strange smells).

After they'd been sufficiently humiliated, MAYBE he'd upgrade their accommodations and bring their personal belongings out of storage.

He couldn't wait for the groveling to begin. Tony wondered how long they'd try getting around Friday's lockouts before they finally begged for Tony's attention.

***

Four hours later, Tony got tired of waiting. He frowned and asked, "Friday, where is Captain Stuck-Up and the Suck band?"

Friday said, "Their current locations are unknown, boss. They disabled all surveillance and tracking before they left."

Tony's jaw dropped. He shouted, "They left? When?"

Friday replied, "Two hours ago, boss. Barton found the dead skunk you put in their vents. They requested a meeting or call, but I refused them per your orders. They waited another hour and asked again, then packed up and left."

Tony asked, "Packed up WHAT?" He hadn't given them anything yet. Not even towels or sheets for the hard beds.

"Vision and Colonel Rhodes led them to where you'd hidden their personal effects," Friday replied. She continued, "The team took only a few items apiece--those with great personal value."

Tony scowled and said, "They weren't allowed to leave."

Friday replied, "That's not what the agreement says, boss. They're free to make their own living arrangements. As a courtesy, they did supply emergency contact information to Colonel Rhodes and Vision in case the team was needed."

After a moment, Tony asked, "Did they say anything before they left?"

Friday answered, "Captain Rogers left a note for you with Colonel Rhodes."

***

Tony strode into the room and said, "So what did the Star-Spangled Stiff have to say?"

Rhodey looked up from his book and said, "Not what I would have. What were you thinking, Tony? It wasn't that long ago Wanda, Sam, Clint, and Scott were in prison on the Raft. You thought it was funny to try and trigger them? And a dead skunk? What the hell? I have to breathe that air too, you know."

He held out an envelope he was using as a bookmark. Rhodey said, "Here. Steve wanted to talk to you in person, but apparently you weren't receiving visitors so he left you a note before they headed out."

Tony frowned but took the letter. He opened it and read:
Tony, I'm not sure why you were so insistent on us staying here, but it clearly isn't going to work out. Everyone has been through so much, it would be irresponsible of me to ask them to stay in conditions that might hinder their recovery. I wish you had simply said you didn't want us here. We're not going far. Rhodes and Vision have our contact information. If you ever want to talk or meet, the door is open.

P.S.: Barton said that he's giving you one star on HeroHousing. I did watch him dispose of the skunk (and made sure it was still in the trash when we left).

Chapter 35: If Nick Fury knew what happened in Siberia, it's not Steve he would be angry at

I touched on this in an earlier series, with Nick pointing out that Tony makes a habit of shooting unarmed people when he's "upset." But now there's a strange story out there that claims "Uncle" Nick Fury would be so angry at Steve for stopping Tony's attempted murder of Bucky that Nick would not only yell at Steve, he would also sucker-punch him. This prop-Tony writer's "logic"? That "civilian" Tony could be easily stopped without violence. They're ignoring the basic facts of the fight: 1) Tony fired first; 2) Tony was wearing a flying tank; 3) Tony was using his entire arsenal (including missiles and lasers) to cold-bloodedly murder an innocent man; 4) Tony faced no consequences for violating the Accords and did nothing to help the folks on the Raft; and especially 5) Nick is no more Tony's "uncle" than Peggy is Tony's godmother or aunt.

So if Nick saw the Siberia footage, who would Nick REALLY be mad at?

Note: This is an AU where Nick gets involved with Team Cap before Infinity War.

***

Tony was working in his lab when he heard Nick Fury say, "Well, Stark, you haven't changed a bit. And that's not a compliment."

When Tony whirled around, Nick pressed his phone. Everything around them went dark, including Tony's Iron Man equipment. Nick said, "Now we won't be interrupted."

Tony frowned and asked, "What brings you here, Popeye?"

Nick leaned against a wall and said, "I came across some footage and thought we should have a little chat about it."

He pressed his phone again, and a hologram displayed of the fight in Siberia.

"Wait!" Tony shouted. When Nick paused the feed, Tony said, "Cap should have stopped me. I was a civilian who had just been upset. Cap should have de-escalated the situation."

Nick scoffed and asked, "How exactly was Cap supposed to accomplish this miracle? You ignored everything he said to you. And every time he pushed you back to give you a moment to breathe and THINK, you just attacked AGAIN."

With a push of a button Nick started the footage again and said, "Let's check the tape."

Tony watched himself shooting missiles and lasers at Barnes and Cap. Tony saw himself punching so hard that when Tony missed, he put a crater in solid concrete.

Tony also saw how Cap was not attacking Tony, only disabling pieces of the suit. And Cap getting in between Tony and Barnes so Tony couldn't make the killing blow.

Tony knew his amputation of Barnes' arm was coming up. He turned his face away and said, "Turn it off."

Nick paused the film again and said, "Don't want to watch your crowning achievements? Mutilating an innocent man, then shooting him in the back? That was all you, every single second of it."

Tony turned to Nick with a snarl and asked, "Why are you really here?"

Nick folded his arms and said, "Your little road trip to Siberia was definitely NOT sanctioned by the U.N. Or Secretary Ross. I wonder if HE would be interested in your recent activities?"

Tony swallowed and asked, "What do you want?"

Nick smiled.

***

No one would realize how fortunate they were, but this Earth had a much better outcome in the Infinity War. Nick placing a bug on Tony and having access to Tony's computer systems and resources in exchange for his silence made all the difference.

The moment Nick heard Bruce talk about the Stones, he warned Team Cap and called the Shield agents stationed in New York. The agents were able to sneak up on Ebony Maw and disable him before he could get near Doctor Strange. Peter was never involved. Wong and Strange sent the Black Order ship through a portal into the sun.

As Corvus Glaive and Proxima Midnight snuck up on Vision and Wanda, a sudden flash of metal was the only warning before Steve's traditional vibranium shield clocked them both in the head. During this distraction, Sam kicked Glaive's weapon away and threw a high-tech vibranium mesh around Glaive, pinning him to the sidewalk. Natasha took out Proxima Midnight with her batons and some well-placed kicks, then tied up Midnight with the same technology. She set a forcefield around the two just before some quinjets showed up to destroy the Black Order ship.

Wanda and Vision were relieved the plan worked. Vision said, "I do not enjoy being bait."

Wanda placed her hand on his arm and said, "But it was worth it to keep you safe."

Steve nodded and said into his comm, "Thanks for the heads-up, Nick. We're on our way to Wakanda."

He looked at the team and said, "Now we'll have to do our best to keep the universe safe."

After a conference call with Steve and Nick, Rhodey told Thaddeus Ross he was withdrawing from the Accords. He tried to persuade Tony to join the team on the Wakandan battlefield, but Tony refused to have anything to do with "Team Crap."

Even though Thanos had four stones, he didn't know what hit him. Steve's strategy, the Wakandans' defenses, and the heroes' skills all combined to keep Thanos's army outside the forcefield.

And when Thor arrived and slammed his axe into Thanos, Nick was there to fire a laser point-blank into Thanos's skull.

Nick toed the headless corpse and said to Thor, "You shoulda gone for the head."

Chapter 36: The characters from Asterix and Obelix would have a problem with Tony, not Team Cap

The crossover characters brought in to bash Team-Cap in prop-Tony fics are getting even stranger. This time Team Cap encounter characters from Asterix and Obelix, a French comic about Gauls who have powers thanks to a magic potion.

First this series claims Tony turns down Nick's offer to be on the Avengers, which is the opposite of what happened--Tony was rejected as unsuitable. Secondly, this prop-Tony writer claims that Steve doesn't control his strength because Steve's destroying old punching bags after coming out of the ice. Personally, I think Steve's destroying broken-down gym equipment when he's upset is preferable to Tony's "coping method" when Tony's upset--shooting unarmed people (Iron Man 2, Age of Ultron, Civil War). The Gauls in the comic keep people safe, same as Team Cap. (Unlike Tony, who has to be cajoled or guilted into lifting a finger.) So how would this meeting really go?

***

Tony cackled as he waited for footage from the satellite he hacked. Soon he would see Team Crap being handed their asses.

He knew his cunning plan had worked when Nick Fury called to ask if Tony had ever traveled to a particular area in France. Tony had claimed ignorance, but he did in fact have a memorable encounter with some weird Frenchies there a few decades ago when he was in college. He'd wandered into a crappy little village for some wine, women, and sex, but had gotten tossed out on his ear by some tiny dude with a mustache and a winged helmet. Apparently those frogs didn't know a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist when they saw one.

He'd given the place a second chance on one of his trips back from "privatizing world peace" after becoming Iron Man, but those hicks STILL didn't acknowledge Tony's sheer awesomeness. This time some dumb giant with red braids chucked Tony out of town like the guy was tossing a rock, after Tony kicked at some little dog yapping and nipping at Tony's armor.

So Tony had carefully leaked some rumors about terrorists hiding in the French countryside. When the ex-Avengers showed up, those weird Frenchies would give Team Crap the pounding they deserved for refusing to sign away their human rights so Tony wouldn't feel guilty anymore and could get Pepper back. It's exactly what they deserved.

Tony's jaw dropped when the satellite image clicked on. Instead of blood and broken bones, it was all laughter and wine. Most of the "rogues" were sitting at a long table in a courtyard with a bunch of villagers. The yapping dog was sitting in Wanda's lap as some tall chick pointed out a platter piled with pastries. Big Red and Cap were smiling as they tossed a boulder back and forth on the village green, while Wilson and the now-blonde Black Widow nodded at something the tiny dude was saying as he gestured to their surroundings.

Suddenly Nick Fury was in the room. He asked, "Did you really think anybody would fall for that stupid story you posted? A nuclear weapons cache hidden under a village bistro?"

Tony scowled and said, "Then why did you pretend to need information from me?"

Nick shrugged and said, "I wanted to see your face when you got a look at a real heroes' welcome. Apparently these folks aren't so out of touch with the world that they don't know who's working to keep people safe and who's sitting on his ass sulking."

Tony frowned, but he didn't have a response for that. He may be an official Avenger, but he hadn't done crap to save anybody. Not that the U.N. Accords panel was interested in anything except the status quo.

As Nick turned to leave, he said, "By the way, I got a message for you. If you ever show up again, Asterix said they'll see if Obelix can actually toss Iron Man into orbit."

Chapter 37: Team Cap already "faced the consequences for their actions"--it's TONY who never did

I'm not sure if prop-Tony folks are unable or unwilling to recognize irony. Another crop of stories are claiming to make Team Cap "face the consequences of their actions." Maybe these folks don't bother to watch the films, because it's obvious that Team Cap ALREADY HAS. Do these people not notice Team Cap sitting on the Raft? Sam being bruised by either his captors or Tony's shooting an unarmed Sam and flipping Sam so hard he knocked Sam out completely (and could have broken Sam's neck)? Were they napping when Tony saw Wanda in a straight jacket and shock collar and said NOTHING, or when Tony exposed Clint's innocent family to Ross? Or when Tony lasered off Bucky's arm, then shot Bucky in the back? Or when Tony fired a laser at Steve that burned through his uniform? Or did they somehow miss the fact that all of Team Cap (including Natasha) were either on house arrest or international fugitives? Inquiring minds want to know.

They also don't seem to recognize that if Tony gets kidnapped by Hydra, turned into a child, taken ill, or anything else, that it has NOTHING to do with Team Cap. Why would any of them have reason to feel guilty? Tony got back fine from Siberia. He had a way to call for help and NEVER bothered to use it. So whatever happens to Tony is on Tony. Team Cap is not responsible for cleaning up another one of his messes. (Though they probably would, because THEY are real heroes.)

But the most ironic thing, is that these prop-Tony folks somehow miss the fact that it's TONY who has never faced any consequences since Afghanistan, for any of his crimes.

***

Clint shook his head and crossed his arms as he stood on his porch. He said, "No way, Stark. You can handle this by yourself." He lifted his leg to show his ankle monitor and continued, "I'm on house arrest, remember? I'm 'facing the consequences of my actions'."

As Tony frowned and turned away, Clint said grimly, "You're lucky I don't make YOU face my fist for exposing my wife and kids to a villain like Thaddeus Ross."

***

Scott Lang frowned as he stood in his doorway. He said, "Look, Stark, usually I'm first in line with the hey-it's-time-to-be-a-hero thing. But you seem to have forgotten that I still have a few months on my sentence. Maybe check back when I'm done 'facing the consequences of my actions'." He smirked as he closed the screen door in Tony's face.

***

Sam just looked at him. And kept looking at him, until Tony frowned and asked, "So?"

Sam shook his head and stood up from the cafe table. He said, "So your head is really still shoved so far up your ass you think I'd help you with THIS? After you put Clint's family in danger? And you put a 14-YEAR-OLD in a battle he had no business in fighting? Did you forget I'm busy being an international fugitive, 'facing the consequences of my actions'? Get lost, man."

Tony was about to call the cops to get Sam locked up for dissing him when he felt a hard grip on his shoulder that pretty much paralyzed him. Natasha leaned in to say, "I got your text. The answer is no."

She leaned up and said, "Well, the answer really is we're all spending our time 'facing the consequences of our actions.' But I know you, so I'm telling you right now that I'm NEVER too busy to kick your ass if you even THINK of trying to get back at any of us for saying No to you."

***

Tony knew better than to ask Wanda. He shuddered as he remembered her sitting so still in her cell. Looking almost dead as she "faced the consequences of her actions."

No, he could never ask her.

***

Tony frowned at Cap's hologram message and asked Friday, "You really have no idea where he is?"

"No, boss," Friday replied, then continued, "I traced the signal right back here."

Tony shrugged and started the message. Cap said, "I heard about your situation, Tony. You probably don't want me to be involved with this. As I help everyone else 'face the consequences of their actions,' I notice that you haven't faced any. Even for bringing a child across international borders to fight superpowered beings. And I would feel compelled to point that out. Good luck."

***

Pepper looked up as Tony walked into her office. She asked, "Well?"

Tony frowned and said, "It's not fair."

Pepper raised an eyebrow and said, "All I asked was for you to find one adult--who is not being bribed or otherwise on the Stark Industries payroll like Happy or Rhodey--who thinks you're a great person and it's a good idea for us to get back together."

Tony pouted and crossed his arms as he said, "You KNEW none of Team Crap would vouch for me."

Pepper leaned back in her chair and said, "I guess we're still on a break, then. Consider it a small way of 'facing the consequences of your actions'."

Pepper's smirk looked a lot like Scott's as she turned back to her computer and ignored him.

Chapter 38: Tony bears responsibility for his bombs, Sokovia, and Ultron

To give credit where it is due, the story that inspired this is one of the few that acknowledges the twins thought they were working for Shield. (Instead of bashing Wanda the author makes her a Tony-prop, so she isn't a "Mind-raping Nazi bitch" like in so many other prop-Tony stories.) Unfortunately, that little glimmer of truth didn't extend to Tony. The sheer number of lies told in the first chapter to pretend he is a blameless baby boggles the mind. Even the first line lies, claiming the Avengers treated Tony in an "antagonistic way" after Age of Ultron. Apparently the author missed the fact that the Avengers got past their anger at Tony's betrayal before they even got to Sokovia. They also ignore the last scene of the film, where Thor, Steve, and Tony banter as they bid farewell to Thor--and Tony drove off and abandoned the team as he went to be the "active-duty non-combatant" he was in Civil War.

Note: Wanda's age is never explicitly shown or stated, but the belief is that she and Pietro were at most 16 in Winter Soldier. That makes her 10 years old in the 2000s. Tony took over Stark Industries when he was 21 or 22, in the early 90s (he was born in 1970 according to his Shield file). Also, Sokovia is supposedly based on the Balkan states, which were actually bombed by NATO. Terrorists don't usually drop bombs on buildings, they are usually wreaking havoc on the ground.

***

Tony eagerly awaited the Witch's arrival. She would be the first pawn in his plan to alienate Cap by making all of the Avengers turn against Cap. Why? Tony shrugged. He needed everyone to see Tony as a poor blameless baby.

Wanda walked in and sat on one of the stools in the lab. She said, "It is good that you called me. I have been talking with Natasha and Steve about boundaries and my powers. We are going to focus on my physical abilities and save my mental ones for extreme situations. I wanted to apologize for--"

Tony interrupted by saying, "Them! Have you heard how they always scold me like I'm a toddler?" He was a little annoyed that he didn't get to show her the errors of her ways about the visions. Figures Widow and Cap would beat him to the punch.

Wanda blinked and said, "No, I have not. You are rarely here, and everyone seems fine with each other. Can you give me an example?"

Tony frowned. He couldn't, of course, because the others actually never spoke to him that way. They only got frustrated with him when he pulled stupid crap, and he never stuck around long enough now to do that. He needed to change tactics. "You do understand that Ultron wasn't just me, right? It was Banner, me, and YOU."

Wanda shook her head and said, "I was not in this country when Ultron was created. How could I have had any part in it? All we wanted was for you to take the scepter and use it to give yourself powers the way Baron von Strucker did with Pietro and myself. We wanted it to kill you like it did all of the others in the experiments. How were we to know you would use it to upload Ultron?"

Tony replied, "Ultron wasn't my fault! We were building an interface, like an ATM screen. It wasn't supposed to be ALIVE."

Wanda said, "This does not make sense. Ultron was quoting YOU. You called yourself his father, his old man. So he was more than an interface. He was a program like your Friday."

Tony said, "The Mind Stone corrupted Ultron!"

Wanda shook her head and said, "The Mind Stone is not corrupt. Vision has the Mind Stone and he is a wonderful person. But he was based on a different program...Jarvis, yes? So perhaps it is that your Ultron was bad from the beginning."

Tony crossed his arms and said, "No, if it wasn't the Mind Stone then it was the scepter."

Wanda replied, "And you knew the scepter did evil things--it hurt Clint. Why would you use something you knew was evil to upload your program? And if it was all as innocent as you claim, why did you not tell the others you were using the scepter to build this interface? Why keep it a secret?"

Tony looked away as he grumbled, "Because they would have said No."

Wanda said, "I have read how you do whatever you want your whole life. You do not care who else it hurts. Like your bomb that killed my parents and put Pietro and I on the streets at 10 years old. We were trapped for two days waiting for another Stark bomb to kill us."

Tony could see his plan unraveling before his eyes. He jumped up and said, "No, no, you got it all wrong. A Stark weapon would NEVER not blow up. Just because I say so--ignore the fact that it's statistically impossible to be true. Because, because--because my father had me building bombs before kindergarten. No really, he did!"

Wanda looked skeptical as she said, "You were building ROBOTS as a child, not bombs. There are articles with you and your father in them."

He ignored Wanda's reply as he continued, "So it couldn't have been MY bomb--it must have been somebody else making bombs and painting the Stark name on them. Yeah, yeah that's it! It must have been a bomb built EXACTLY like mine by--by Justin Hammer! Never mind that Justin Hammer wanted to make a name for HIMSELF. He did it! Not me!"

Wanda said, "This also makes no sense. There is no record of criminal activity by Justin Hammer until 2010. I believe the reports said it was being humiliated by YOU that drove him to it."

Tony sat back down and said, "You really HAVE read up on everything. So, the bomb, uh, it wasn't me because--because it was OBIE! Yeah, Obediah Stane. He, he ran the company until I came of age. He was selling bombs to terrorists under the table for YEARS." Tony decided not to mention that Obie was able to sell those weapons WHILE Tony was in charge, because Tony never bothered with things like accountability or keeping track of where his weapons were going.

Wanda snorted and asked, "Do you think we do not have arithmetic in Sokovia?"

Tony blinked. This didn't sound good.

Wanda stood up and said, "You are 45 YEARS OLD. You have been head of your company about as long as I have been ALIVE. YOU were in charge when Pietro and I were 10 and went through hell."

She took a step closer and said, "Do not blame others for your actions. YOU used the scepter in secret to upload Ultron, despite knowing nothing about the alien technology. YOU ignored the responsibilities that came with owning a weapons company. And YOU designed and built the bombs that were dropped on my country by the U.S. military and NATO."

Tears filled her eyes as she said, "You made those bombs to destroy lives. You made them for DECADES. And you only stopped when you became one of your own victims."

Wanda ran out to find Natasha and Steve.

Tony sat in silence as he thought about his actions, his plans to get revenge for imagined slights, and the real damage he had caused Wanda, Sokovia, and the world.

Chapter 39: Dr. Strange wouldn't attack or insult anyone if he was dating Tony

I feel sorry for fans of all of the characters stuck in relationships with Tony so the characters will bash Team Cap. It's pretty obvious the prop-Tony writers don't care about these other characters at all. Some recent examples were people online having Stephen Strange insult the way the other characters look. One of those gems included Strange telling Steve to wear a mask, not for Covid protection but because Steve is ugly. Strange sounded like a 12-year-old Mean Girl, instead of a fortysomething surgeon and superhero. Apparently because that's what Dr. Strange as a Tony-prop would do. Even if Dr. Strange was so out of character to date someone he considers a douchebag, he'd never behave so immaturely. (Sad to say Tony probably would.)

Note: I'm using a generic "infectious" for this. It's a Covid-free MCU. And this is an AU where Tony and Strange meet before Civil War.

***

Stephen felt like a parent being dragged by a toddler as Tony pulled him toward a closed door. Tony said, "I can't wait to watch you roast these losers."

Stephen glanced over at his boyfriend and asked, "What do you mean?"

Tony paused before opening the door and said, "Well, you're with me now. And you've got that whole dry sarcasm subtle insult thing going on. So you can cut these folks down to size for refusing to date--for being mean to me. Especially say something about Cap's face--like how he should be wearing a mask or something. Not because he's infectious, just because he's ugly."

Stephen wasn't sure what to think as they entered the room. There were people sitting on couches and chairs who looked up and smiled.

As the others shook Stephen's hand and offered greetings, Stephen could see Tony fidgeting. Likely waiting for the moment Stephen would "roast these losers."

Stephen had no idea what Tony's problem was. The others seemed genuinely happy for him and Tony. Stephen also thought they might all look a little bit relieved--perhaps that Tony would no longer ask THEM for dates?

He didn't see any reason to insult the superheros. Honestly, what could he say? They were all very attractive, it seemed both inside and out.

Stephen stared into Steve Rogers' face as Rogers asked Stephen how he met Tony. The idea of telling this man that he should be covered up was truly ridiculous. Especially because the only reason to be so insulting was because TONY didn't appreciate Rogers' looks. Or more likely, Tony didn't appreciate Rogers' turning down the offer of a date.

Stephen decided then and there that he would NOT be sinking to Tony's level. He smiled at Rogers as he answered the question.

Stephen could feel Tony's glare. Maybe they'd be breaking up soon. And maybe HE would ask Rogers for a date...

Chapter 40: The Avengers never revealed that Tony caused Ultron (though they probably should have)

It's really amusing to me how prop-Tony fics have to lie and twist characters and events in order to make Tony look pitiable. I'm pretty sure none of these authors can actually follow canon, because then they'd have to acknowledge just how wrong almost all of Tony's actions were. In this scenario, Steve blurts out that Tony paid off someone to cover up Tony's involvement in Ultron, and that Tony is still as greedy as ever. As usual, the prop-Tony author doesn't recognize the irony: Their summary is completely correct. Homecoming and Far From Home showed how Tony and Stark Industries are still squashing the little guy to get more money and acclaim, and Age of Ultron showed that Tony DID in fact "make that murder bot." Tony wrote the Ultron program, Tony convinced Bruce to join Tony in plugging unknown alien technology into the internet, Tony decided to lie to Thor and the rest of the team about what they were doing. The funny thing is, Steve and the others kept the secret, but they SHOULD have hung Tony out to dry. As all the prop-Tony folks say when they bash Team Cap, "actions have consequences," and Tony should face his.

Note: Though not explicitly stated as bribery, the Iron Man films showed Tony using extortion when Nick Fury asked for help, so bribery is certainly likely something Tony would use. Really, how else could Tony have been left in charge of his company (and out of jail) after being revealed as incompetent or negligent for 17 years in Iron Man 1 and attacking party guests in Iron Man 2?

***

Super hacker Skye (aka Shield agent Daisy Johnson) frowned as she continued to follow the traces of the Ultron bots' movements around the globe. According to the gossip from the helicarrier that went to Sokovia, the Ultron AI had nearly destroyed the world. And only the new Avenger Vision was powerful enough to contain Ultron long enough to be destroyed.

Skye shuddered as she imagined Ultron still lurking in a corner of the internet. She had to find out who let the AI out into the world. Because AIs are not born, but made...so there had to be a programmer behind everything.

She frowned as she read the alerts from New York City the night it all started. The reports had been erased from public access--like someone wanted to scrub the history of the event from view. Especially the fact that the epicenter was Stark Tower.

Skye cracked her knuckles and continued digging. She had several backdoors into the Stark Industries servers, left from her days of proving herself by hacking into all of the big systems. Stark Industries' security had been surprisingly easy to break into, but that made sense after she learned how little Tony Stark seemed to care about managing his own company. Once inside the SI system, she discovered that SI was restoring files that were apparently recently wiped from WITHIN the servers.

She sat back and stared. Ultron had been in the Stark Industries servers. There was a good chance THAT was where Ultron originated.

Skye wondered what to do with the information. She looked at the guest list for the party the night Ultron appeared. All of the Avengers were there. Skye shook her head as she considered contacting Steve Rogers. Though Coulson would say no one was better during a crisis than Captain America, Skye had her own ideas about the appropriate Avenger to contact.

***

Skye sat on the rooftop of the building she'd chosen for the meet. She made sure there was nothing up there big enough for someone to hide behind, and she'd swept the area for bugs and drones.

There wasn't even a crunch of gravel to announce the Black Widow. Natasha Romanov landed in front of Skye with a gun pointed at Skye's face. Romanov said, "You wanted to talk, so talk."

Skye said, "I know Tony Stark created Ultron. His stupid 'suit of armor around the world' nearly got us all killed."

Romanov holstered her weapon and dropped to sit. She asked, "And?"

Skye leaned forward and said, "And why isn't Stark in jail? Why haven't the Avengers put out a statement saying who was responsible and what they were doing to make sure it would never happen again?"

The Black Widow frowned and looked away. She said, "Because Stark wouldn't be the only one punished. He persuaded Bruce Banner to help, and Bruce...Thaddeus Ross hunted him down like a dog. Ross doesn't need another reason to go after the Hulk."

Skye thought about it, then said, "And Stark wouldn't really be punished at all, would he? He'd use his money and influence to keep HIMSELF out of jail and drag things out until the next century."

Romanov nodded and said, "Bottom line is that Stark can buy his way out of almost anything. Including facing consequences for Ultron."

Skye said, "No, he won't be able to buy his way out of THAT. But I'll make sure Ross--and Dr. Banner--are kept out of it."

The Black Widow nodded, then stood. She said, "You could have gone public with this. Thanks for asking first."

***

Tony smiled as he checked his bank balance. It had cost nothing to have Friday delete all the evidence of Ultron's creation and make the stories about Sokovia fall off the newsfeeds. Some members of Congress had been making noises about inquiries, but the contributions to their campaigns were a small price to pay. When you were a multi-billionaire, hush money was pocket change.

Suddenly everything went dark in his lab. Then a photo of a smiling woman appeared on one screen. A voice said, "Maryana Stein. Thirty-six, married, two children. Dead in Sokovia because Tony Stark decided to put a suit of armor around the world." The voice continued to list information about Maryana, occasionally repeating "Dead in Sokovia because Tony Stark decided to put a suit of armor around the world."

Tony frowned and said, "Friday, turn that off."

Friday didn't respond. In the following months Tony realized wherever, wherever he was alone, he would be haunted again as the systems shut down and another victim would be profiled.

Some days he wondered if he would have been better off in prison.

Chapter 41: If the Infinity Stones were choosing guardians, Tony wouldn't be on the list

Poor Daisy Johnson got dragged into another prop-Tony story. (I wonder why she's such a popular Tony prop all of a sudden?) In this gem, two of the Infinity Stones choose guardians from Earth: Daisy and Tony. So Daisy is stuck being Tony's soulmate, dragged into conducting "pure revenge" against the people who "wronged" Tony by refusing to sign away their human rights. As if stones with great powers would choose Tony, someone who's taken so little responsibility for his actions and their consequences. Let's see if we can find a more suitable candidate for the Space Stone.

Note: This is an AU where the Tesseract never left Earth, and the timelines are shifted a bit.

***

They were All and Together, but They were also Each and One. Reality and Soul burned Red and Orange. Space and Time flowed Blue and Green. Power and Mind shone Purple and Yellow. When They were Themselves, the Stones. But Reality-Red had drifted as Aether. Time-Green rested inside the Eye. Mind-Yellow curled inside the Vision. And Space-Blue slept in the Tesseract.

Time-Green was the first to Choose a Guardian. They granted powers to the one called Sorcerer Supreme--the One Who Is Ancient--and set Their Guardian the task of protecting Them from any and all who would call upon Their power for ill. Time-Green was content within the grasp of Their Guardian.

Mind-Yellow did not call Their Guardian, did not Choose, but They were content within the grasp of the one called Vision.

Power-Purple also worked Their will. They Felt Their Kin--the Stones--scattered across the universe. But Three were Together. Time-Green, Mind-Yellow, and Space-Blue had found Their place on a planet called Earth. Power-Purple Sensed the Earth and Found Their Chosen. The One who would be the Guardian of Power-Purple. Skye-Hacker-Agent-Johnson-Daisy-Quake would be Their Guardian. Would be gifted with the powers of a goddess as she protected Them.

Power-Purple Called the one whose blood sang of Earth and Stars--Quill-Son-Thief-Peter-Starlord. They Called upon his crew to turn toward Earth. As the others watched, the maker of things--Racoon-Experiment-Technician-Thief-Rocket kept repeating, "I don't know why, I just have to do it," as he set Power-Purple into a fingerless gauntlet, then made a matching one.

When They reached Earth, They were given to Their Chosen and she became Their Guardian. Power-Purple was content within the grasp of Their Guardian.

Space-Blue Sensed the Guardians of Time-Green, Mind-Yellow, and Power-Purple and Sensed that they were good. That They--the Stones--were content within the grasp of Their Guardians. Space-Blue Called the one whose hands reeked of metal and recklessness--Iron Man, Stark, Tony, Merchant of Death, Billionaire, Genius, Playboy, Philanthropist, one-time Hero--to carry Them from the vault that was Their resting place. They Called him to bring Them out of the vault and into the sun- and air-filled space of Earth.

They Felt Stark's desire to possess Their shell, the Tesseract. To use Them--Their shell--to build weapon-suits and gadgets. For himself, ever for his own enrichment. They allowed Themselves to be brought to his lab. Then They Called upon one and another and a third to secretly carry Them and the symbol of Their Chosen from the lab to Earth's great maker of things--Genius, Sister, Princess, Daughter, Shuri. There in the sun- and air-filled space of Wakanda, They Called her to craft for Their Chosen a bracelet of vibranium. To free Them from the Tesseract and set Them to rest within the bracelet, and to transform the symbol of Their Chosen into a form that could be stored in and brought forth from the bracelet, so Their Chosen Guardian would always carry Them and his symbol of protection.

Then Space-Blue Called Their Chosen. They Felt when he came--Steve, Punk, Rogers, Cap, Nomad, Hero--and They were given to Their Chosen and he became Their Guardian. Space-Blue was content within the grasp of Their Guardian.

But Their Guardian was not content. He knew that They--the Stones--would be endangered. So he asked his friend--T'Challa, King, Warrior, Black Panther--to join him in a great meeting of those who would protect Earth. He called his friends and fellow heroes to join him in this meeting. Then Their Guardian asked that Space-Blue Call all of Their--the Stones'--Guardians to this meeting.

The one named Stark did not come when called. Space-Blue had Sensed the moment Stark saw the empty spaces in his lab and knew that They--Space-Blue--would be forever out of his reach. That he would never be Their Chosen, nor Their Guardian. Would never be worthy of the power of a god. The power They granted freely to Their Guardian.

As the great gathering commenced, They--all the Stones of Earth--rested within the grasp of Their Guardians. They were content.

Chapter 42: If a character from Naruto wanted someone to "burn in hell" for being homophobic, it would be Tony, not Steve

Here's a made-up 3,000-year-old Naruto-based character (along with actual character Kakashi) turned into a Tony prop, from yet ANOTHER prop-Tony writer who doesn't understand irony. This story has anoriginal male character attack Steve for being homophobic, yet it is TONY who is the trifecta of misogynistic, transphobic, and homophobic in canon. Why would the OMC attack someone who grew up in a 1930s gayborhood in Brooklyn and never made a single remark insulting someone's gender, designation, or sexual preferences? This writer also has a story where the OMC attacks Steve for being "entitled and self-righteous" while the OMC props a self-absorbed multi-billionaire who thinks the rules don't apply to him. I feel sorry for Naruto fans...

Note: Set during Civil War. According to the Map of Marvel's Manhattan, Steve Rogers apparently lived in one of the neighborhoods of Brooklyn known for its lively gay culture in the pre-WW2 era.

***

Dasoka blinked as he leaned back and finished reading the Accords. He carefully put the book down onto the table and looked at the assembled Avengers. He and his boyfriend Kakashi had not been with the Avengers long, but he had already decided he enjoyed working with Falcon, Widow, War Machine, Scarlet Witch, and Vision. And of course, Captain America.

Dasoka had learned a lot about everyone as he and Kakashi shared their own history. He felt a special kinship with Steve Rogers, who was also older than he looked and a fellow student of history. They had interesting discussions about how the world and people had changed--and not changed--over the centuries. Depression-era New York sounded like an exciting and dangerous place, especially where Steve grew up. Living with what were sometimes considered society's "undesirables" had likely helped Steve become so empathetic and accepting of other people. That, and Sarah Rogers seemed to have been a fine woman and role model.

So Dasoka was not surprised when Steve joined Sam Wilson in raising problems about these Accords. He shuddered as he thought about what could happen to enhanced people under this document, which would strip people of their basic rights and turn them into attack dogs.

He looked over as Steve abruptly left after receiving a text message. He hoped everything was all right.

Dasoka frowned as Tony Stark said, "So it's settled. The AVENGERS are signing the Accords. You get to decide whether or not you're still an Avenger."

Dasoka placed his clenched fists on the table as he said, "I don't think this is settled at all. You didn't answer Steve's questions. What happens if the U.N. panel sends us somewhere we don't want to go, or prevents us from helping when we know we should?"

He looked over at Kakashi as his boyfriend moved his chair against Dasoka's so they were pressed together. Kakashi wrapped one arm around Dasoka's shoulders as he put his other hand over Dasoka's fist, helping Dasoka relax.

Stark eyed them as he replied, "We'll figure it out later. The important thing is to sign now."

Dasoka started to protest, but Stark cut him off by saying, "Why don't you and your little 'friend' take the discussion elsewhere? Some of us don't want to see...that."

Dasoka's jaw dropped in shock. Rhodey frowned and said, "Tony, I've warned you before about those kinds of comments. They aren't any more appropriate than your 'jokes' about ladies named Ivan."

Natasha stood up and said, "I think I've changed my mind."

Stark frowned at her and said, "Because of one little comment?"

Dasoka also stood and said, "Maybe also because YOU are not going to be affected by these Accords, yet you are pushing them on us. You won't have to wear a tracker, give up your DNA, or have your movements approved by a U.N. panel. You just go back to your tower and live your privileged life. You chastised your teammates over the death of one American, yet the deaths of the Sokovians caused by the AI YOU allowed on the internet seem to not matter to you at ALL--even the death of Wanda's brother."

Wanda and Sam nodded, while Vision looked troubled. More troubled than Tony Stark, who merely looked annoyed at being told No.

Dasoka moved away from the table and said, "If you are what the Avengers are meant to be, then I no longer want to be an Avenger."

He knew Kakashi would come with him, but he was surprised to see everyone else but Stark follow him out of the room and onto the stairway.

They found Steve hunched over in what turned out to be grief. It wasn't hard for everyone to decide to go with Steve to Peggy Carter's funeral instead of Vienna to sign the Accords.

It worked out better for this world. The team's press release about the problems with the Accords and the reasons no one but Iron Man would sign them made the U.N. postpone the hasty ratification. Zemo's plans were foiled with no one being hurt, and he was eventually caught with his explosives and sent to prison.

Dasoka knew that whatever happened, he and Kakashi would have their friends to keep them safe from the Accords--and people like Stark.

Chapter 43: It's not "Team Decency" if Tony's on it

I'm not sure if "Team Decency" is deliberate propaganda or just another example of how prop-Tony folks don't recognize irony. How can you name "Team Decency" a group that contains a man who is a canon transphobic, homophobic, mysogynistic, child-exploiting, hypocritical, money-hoarding war profiteer who makes rape jokes? Especially when Tony Stark committed those acts as a fully grown adult? I find it very strange that the "indecent" traumatized teens Wanda and Pietro are still bashed to this day by prop-Tony folks for less than a week of poor and reckless choices, but "Team Decency" member Tony Stark has his literal DECADES of indecent behavior hand-waved away.

The lastest "Team Decency" story has Nick Fury being a rabid attack dog (and lying about the actual damage caused in Civil War, who did it, and Pepper's and Rhodey's opinions of the Avengers). I think Nick has way too much class and self-awareness for that...

***

Pepper and Rhodey looked at the phone on the coffee table, then at Nick Fury and Tony sitting on the sofa, then at Vision standing in the far corner of the room, then at each other. Pepper asked, "Why are we here?"

Tony waved a hand between Rhodey and Pepper and said, "You're convincing Jolly Old St. Nick here that 'Team Decency' is a go."

Rhodey asked very slowly, "What does that mean?"

Tony leaned back and said, "It's obvious, bro. You, me, and Laser Brains over there are the only Avengers who are still supporting the Accords. So even though the Accords are shown to strip enhanced people of their rights and will put a tracker on Viz, and even though I'm still hoarding billions and my tech advancements all to myself, and even though I make rape jokes and clearly disrespect women, trans people, gay people, and probably a lot of other folks, I'm calling us 'Team Decency'. Pep here can be our cheerleader and manage PR. And Nick can go rip Team Crap a new one and punish them for 'betraying' me by thinking for themselves and refusing to sign away their rights."

Pepper frowned and asked, "And what exactly is the purpose of 'Team Decency'?"

Tony smirked and said, "That's simple. Team Decency is going to lie about what happened in Bucharest and Leipzig to try and make my actions look less awful than they are. We're going to WAY overstate the damage--like we'll pretend the whole tunnel collapsed even though you can clearly see cars still driving through it with no problem. And we'll pretend somebody was paralyzed there even though nobody said anything like that happened to ANYONE--"

Tony stopped and realized he'd stuck his stupid foot in his stupid mouth. He blinked and said, "Except, uh, yeah. But we can blame THAT on Team Crap as well!"

As Vision moved toward the group Tony looked at Nick and said, "So what do you say? Let's get to it--go Team Decency!"

Nick looked at Tony and said, "Short answer: No. Long answer: No way in hell."

Nick shook his head and said, "Do you even know what the word 'decency' means? I suggest you look it up before slapping that label on yourself--a guy who only faces the damage he's caused by his fool actions when it's shoved in his face."

Vision stopped next to Nick and said to him, "It is even worse than you assume. Stark has willfully cyberstalked a 14-year-old child for weeks, then blackmailed him into coming to Germany to fight Steve's team in violation of the Accords. Then Stark violated the Accords again by flying to Siberia without authorization."

"Fourteen years old?" Rhodey asked as his jaw dropped. He continued, "That guy at the airport was FOURTEEN years old? We had a CHILD SOLDIER on our team?"

Pepper almost growled as she said, "How could you? That-that-there are no words." She stood up and walked to the side of the room.

Nick grabbed the phone and stood up. He flipped it open, checked the number, closed the phone and put it back down on the table. He said, "Whatever happened between you and Rogers, the man sent you a phone. A way to get help if you need it. THAT'S decency. What you're planning to do, what you want me to do...is not."

No one spoke as Nick strode out of the room.

Chapter 44: Tony never adopted anyone

Prop-Tony folks have some weird obsession with Tony adopting people--especially people who already have families (Harley, Peter, Shuri) or are fully grown adults (Daisy Johnson/Quake, Nebula). Some stories have Tony adopting all of the orphans created by the Snap. They even go outside the MCU to find people for Tony to adopt.

But the truth is...Tony never adopted anyone. He is never even shown mentoring anyone. What he DOES do is use people and then drop them. Harley and Peter are never shown being mentored by Tony after he's done using them. (Unless you count Tony calling Harley a pussy or Tony berating Peter for making a decision Tony didn't like because Tony didn't share info.) After Tony steps off the exit ramp in Endgame, he never looks at or talks to Nebula again.

So adoption seems to be another lie that folks tell to prop Tony and pretend he is more than a self-centered hoarder of wealth.

***

Meredith shook her head as she once more checked Tony Stark's changes to the personal tax return he'd received from the accounting firm she worked for. She should have known her promotion came with a roster of "challenging" clients.

Sometimes she wished she'd stayed with the IRS.

After waiting in Stark's personal conference room for an hour (and reflecting on how little Tony Stark seemed to value anyone's time but his own), the man swaggered in. He plopped into a chair across from Meredith and asked, "What?"

Meredith kept her professional smile in place as she said, "As I mentioned in my email, Mister Stark, I'm here to discuss the changes you made to your tax return."

Tony grinned and said, "It's great, isn't it? I get to stick it to the government and save more of my multi-billions at the same time."

Her smile wobbled but stayed as Meredith asked, "You do understand the definition of dependent, correct?"

Tony snorted and replied, "Did you miss the genius part of genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist?"

Meredith had her own opinions about the genius part, along with the philanthropist part, but she kept them to herself. Instead she said, "So you realize that you can't claim someone as a dependent unless they're actually dependent on you."

Pointing to the screen, Meredith said, "As far as I'm aware, none of the people you listed as dependents for the purpose of gaining tax credits have ever actually recognized you as a legal guardian. Because they HAVE family and/or legal guardians, or are adults themselves."

She shook her head and continued, "Nor have you given them food, shelter, or material goods outside of an established labor agreement or specific, temporary circumstance."

Tony frowned and said, "What about that suit I gave to--"

Meredith said, "A minor child in a situation that was NOT approved by the minor child's ACTUAL legal guardian?"

She didn't mention how sick to the stomach that little deduction about the fight at Leipzig had made her.

Tony pouted and said, "I adopt EVERYONE. So many people say so. They even kill off the actual legal guardians--and family--so I can adopt them!"

Meredith shook her head and asked, "So you insist upon filing this return with dozens of invalid dependents?"

Tony nodded firmly and said, "Nobody deserves my money more than I do. And that includes taxes."

Meredith nodded and said, "We suspected you might have this attitude."

She stood up and said, "You have 24 hours to rescind the changes to your return and accept the form we completed for you. If you do not comply within that time frame, we will be emailing and sending by messenger a formal termination of our contract with you. We will also be making clear to the IRS that we are not complicit with your attempted fraud."

As she turned to leave, Meredith said, "Face it, Mister Stark: You never adopted anyone, anywhere, anytime. Except in your imagination."

Chapter 45: If Natasha could have gone back in time, she'd be getting Tony out of the way, not getting help from him

There's a story right now that has Natasha going back in time to fix the universe. The prop-Tony fic bashes her for thinking Tony Stark would be a hindrance rather than a help. The funny thing is, Natasha is EXACTLY RIGHT. Natasha would be very smart indeed to take Tony out of the equation before he can get his hands on Loki's scepter. None of the problems of Civil War or Infinity War would have happened, and the universe would be a happier place. So let's see how that would really play out.

***

Natasha felt the fall from the cliff on Vormir, but not the landing. When she awakened, she knew she was no longer on that strange planet.

She kept breathing deeply and steadily as opened her eyes to slits. She recognized her room at the Barton farmhouse. Had Clint carried her here after she fell? What happened with the Infinity Stones? Was everyone still snapped?

The patter of children's feet and their giggles answered that question. Natasha sat up as her door burst open and Cooper and Lila flung themselves on her bed with shouts of "Auntie Nat!"

Natasha's eyes widened in shock. Lila and Cooper were YOUNG. More than the five years they missed with the Snap. Lila was still an excited child, not the tall teenager she was the last time Natasha saw her, so long ago.

She blinked back tears as she clutched them both in her arms and whispered, "I've missed you SO MUCH."

Both children laughed and hugged back.

Natasha looked up at heavier footsteps and her mouth dropped open in shock. Laura was PREGNANT. Something was very wrong here, or very wonderful.

Natasha swallowed, then asked, "What's the date?"

Laura leaned on the doorframe and replied, "In real time, or baby time? Because when there's eight pounds sitting on your bladder, you only count the minutes between needing to pee and the days until your due date."

Lila looked over and said, "It's April 2, 2015."

Natasha looked down and said, "Спасибо, солнышко." She cleared her throat and repeated in English, "Thank you, sunshine."

Laura raised her eyebrows at Natasha in a question. Natasha shook her head in reply.

Laura nodded and said to the kids, "Come on, you need to set the table and Auntie Nat needs to finish waking up."

As the trio left, Natasha took a long breath and considered. Either she was dead and somehow not in Hell, dead and stuck in a weird fantasy world, alive and stuck in a weird fantasy world--or alive and back in time. Just before Sokovia, and Ultron, and all of the problems and misery that came after.

She tilted her head and weighed her choices. With a nod, she stood and gathered her things to shower and dress.

The mission to retrieve Loki's scepter hadn't happened yet. Whether this was real or not, Natasha was going to make sure things went better this time--for everyone.

***

On the quinjet on the way to Strucker's bunker, Natasha nodded to Clint. At the signal, Clint stepped into the cockpit to keep Tony occupied. Clint and Laura had listened to her crazy tale of psychic twins, genocidal AIs, broken up Avengers, underwater prisons, alien madmen, and universal devastation. Then they'd looked at each other. After Laura nodded, Clint shrugged and asked Natasha what she wanted to do about it.

They'd all decided that this was too important to take chances. Tony would be urged to leave the scepter alone, but he would also never be allowed alone with it.

Natasha pulled Thor aside first and whispered, "Listen to me, Thor. I know this won't make any sense, but you have to believe me. DO NOT give Tony and Bruce permission to study the scepter. They're going to lie to you, to all of us. They won't study it, they'll use it to bring Tony's Ultron program to life--and that will not go well for anyone."

Thor stared at her for a long moment, then said, "You have the look of someone who has seen too much and lost too much. I believe you, and will do as you ask."

Bruce was next. Natasha sat down beside him and said, "You know something? You are a really good guy, and I know you just want to do the right thing and keep people safe."

Bruce tilted his head and asked, "What did I do?"

Natasha smiled and said, "Nothing--yet. But you could. So I wanted to remind you that you're your own man. Just because someone thinks it's okay to do something in secret, doesn't mean it's really okay, okay?"

Bruce shrugged and said, "I don't understand a word you're saying, but okay."

Natasha nodded and stood. She didn't have to pull Steve aside, because he came to her. As they moved into a quiet corner, he asked, "What's going on?"

She trusted Steve, both his mind and his heart. She whispered the whole story to him and then asked, "I think we'll have the scepter covered, but what should we do about the twins?"

As he outlined a plan, Natasha reminded herself to let Steve know where Bucky was--when the time was right.

***

Strucker and his minions were captured. The twins were with Steve after he'd followed them back to the city to show them how they'd been manipulated by Hydra into believing they'd joined Shield. Natasha was saddened that Vision would never be born, but glad that Pietro wouldn't have to die far too soon.

She could already somehow feel the possibility of events following a new path. She had taken Tony aside after they'd found the scepter and warned him that it was too dangerous to mess with. He'd scoffed at her and complained when Thor denied Bruce and Tony access to it.

Instead, Thor had locked it in a case in his room, then gone off to visit Jane.

Natasha heard the door open from her hiding place in Thor's room. She watched Tony use the light from an Iron Man gauntlet to find the case sitting on a side table.

He strode up to it, but stopped when he saw that Mjolnir was sitting on top of the case holding the scepter. Tony snorted and said, "Does Point Break really think his little hammer can stop Iron Man?"

She saw Bruce hovering in the doorway. Bruce said, "This doesn't feel right, Tony. Thor said not to touch the scepter."

Tony shrugged and replied, "Thor doesn't get how vulnerable Earth is. We NEED Ultron. And to upload Ultron to the internet, I need that scepter."

Natasha grinned as Tony reached out to grab Thor's hammer. Of course it didn't move. Tony cursed as he used the jets on his glove to try and shift it with no luck.

Tony turned to Bruce and said, "Come on, go green and get over here. Hulk needs to do some smashing."

Bruce paused, then stared at Tony and said, "No. I wasn't sure about this whole plan to go behind everyone's backs. But now I know I don't want any part of it--or your Ultron program."

As Bruce turned and left, Tony stepped back and pointed his gauntlet at the table. He said, "If the hammer won't get off the mountain, blow away the mountain."

Natasha stepped out of her hiding place and pointed her gun at Tony. She said, "Don't. Stand down now or this is going to get messy."

Tony shifted to aim at her and said, "I should have known you'd be lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike. I trusted you."

Natasha said, "We trusted YOU. Thor told you No. I said Don't mess with it. Yet here you are, trying to steal the scepter when everyone's back is turned."

Tony said, "I need it. Don't you understand? Ultron could save us all!"

Natasha stepped closer and said, "YOU don't understand. Ultron doesn't save ANYONE. Ultron only kills and destroys. YOU destroy everything because you WON'T LISTEN."

Clint stepped up behind Tony and stuck him with one of Natasha's Widow's Bites. Clint caught Tony as he slumped and stuck him in a chair. Then Clint tugged at Mjolnir, which didn't move. He asked, "Now what?"

Natasha sighed and said, "Now we either lock Tony up for the duration, call Thor back early, or call Steve and get him to hide the scepter until Thor gets back."

She could feel the universe shifting onto a different track. One that would have a brighter future for everyone.

Clint gave her a skeptical look as he gestured at the hammer and said, "You think Cap's strong enough to move that thing?"

Natasha smiled and said, "Definitely."

Chapter 46: If you're changing/renegotiating/ignoring the bad parts of the Accords, you're actually Team Cap

Just like Tony Stark, prop-Tony folks pretend that things that don't directly affect them don't exist. Case in point: The truth of the Accords. The 117 countries who signed the Accords WANT to strip enhanced people of their rights, put trackers on them, lock them in underwater prisons with no due process or legal representation, and to have the ONLY say in what any hero does. THAT is what the Accords are in canon. Those 117 countries have no reason to change the terms they specifically created. It's a lie to pretend that anything would change just because Tony Stark claimed they would be amended. "Infinity War" showed that there were NO changes, and the Marvel series showed that the Accords are even WORSE than the movies portrayed.

But prop-Tony folks hand-wave away those facts and pretend that the Accords actually weren't that bad, or that they were immediately changed to be "oversight, with safeguards." Oversight with safeguards is what STEVE ROGERS wanted. Tony couldn't care less what happened to anyone under the Accords if he wasn't personally affected, as he showed with his lack of care about how Team Cap was being treated on the Raft, and his lack of action to protest the Accords even after seeing them in action.

So if someone is claiming the Accords are renegotiated, they're just lying. And pretending that Tony Stark gives a damn when he again showed he is only interested in himself.

Note: The Infinity War prelude comic showed that Tony Stark did NOTHING to help the world after Civil War. All he did was build himself new suits. Sam, Natasha, and Steve were the ones still protecting the world in secret.

***

On the screen in Tony Stark's lab, Christine Everhart said, "In other news, one year ago today the Sokovia Accords were ratified. The document that claimed control over the Avengers and other enhanced people has resulted in the disappearance of an increasing number of citizens in this country and around the world. What it has NOT done is made the world any safer. In fact, the world has been left to survive mostly on its own as the U.N. Accords panel refuses permission for heroic intervention in crises around the world. Tony Stark, Colonel James Rhodes, and the android Vision have been conspicuously absent as people have died and homes been destroyed by natural and man-made disasters."

Scenes of devastation showed on the screen as Christine Everhart continued, "Ironically, the few bright spots of heroic activity have come thanks to heroes who rejected the Accords. Our sources can confirm that in particular, Chitauri weapons were confiscated from terrorists by heroes who risked their lives and safety to keep these dangerous alien weapons from being used to cause more damage to an already battered world."

Christine Everhart's grim face reappeared as she concluded, "With no amendment process in place for the Accords and no ratifying countries of the U.N. even willing to consider changes, it seems the world's only hope is to rely on those who refuse to be government lapdogs. This reporter, like many others, has to wonder how the three remaining Avengers feel after a year of inactivity and tied hands."

Tony barely glanced up from the gauntlet he was making as the screen suddenly went dark. He looked over to see Vision standing at the door. Vision said, "There will not be any amendments to the Accords, will there?"

Tony just shrugged. He'd gotten Pepper back and passed his responsibilities off on someone else. As far as he was concerned, the Accords were a great success.

Vision stepped farther into the room and continued, "There are no appointments, meetings, or even policy reviews scheduled for the Accords. You knew this would be the case when you signed them, did you not?"

Tony leaned back and replied, "It seemed pretty obvious, even if you're not a genius. If you've got everything the way you want it, why bother to change it?"

Vision nodded, then said, "I signed in good faith. I even accepted that you hid your own violations of the Accords, because revealing them would weaken the position I supported. But I was wrong. I believed the Accords would be what Captain Rogers said he wanted, oversight with safeguards. They are not. They never have been and never will be, because no one plans to change them and give up the power they have gained over enhanced beings and those with advanced technology."

Tony finally looked up, simply because Vision was now looming over him. He froze at the anger he could see on the android's face.

Vision said, "Ms. Everhart is right. We are nothing more than lapdogs for Secretary Ross, who has shown he does not care about anything except his own power. And you, who claimed you could get the Accords amended, do not care for anything except your own comfort. I should have trusted Steve Rogers when he warned us we would be giving up our right to choose. But now I am taking it back."

The android pivoted and glided away from Tony. Tony stood up and said, "You can't abandon me! We're a team."

Vision didn't even pause.

Tony snarled and said, "You won't get very far, Fido. You're microchipped. You're forgetting that transponder you were injected with."

Vision turned in the doorway and said, "YOU are forgetting exactly what I can do. I deactivated the transponder and instructed Friday to not track me, and to continue ignoring any signs of any member of Captain Rogers' team. I will no longer be a government lapdog. Instead I will be my own person, and reclaim the rights stripped from me by the Accords."

As Vision left, his parting words were, "Enjoy your existence on the end of Secretary Ross's leash."

Chapter 47: If there was a "team done right," Tony wouldn't be on it

This is another one that makes me laugh. Do prop-Tony folks really believe that EVERYONE ELSE is the problem in the Avengers, not Tony? (Hint: If you've got to be "not friendly" to nearly every other character to prop your fave, your fave IS the problem.) This one brings in DC characters, so I'll do the same.

Let's see what would really happen if Shield had access to DC heroes during the events of "The Avengers."

Note: This uses a lot of dialogue from the film. I mostly stuck to the scenes that would be different with DC characters in them. Updated to add a Batman cameo.

***

Phil Coulson sat in Bruce Wayne's office as he waited for his appointment to begin. He stood and turned when he heard the door opening. He said, "Mr. Fox, Mr. Wayne, thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

Bruce Wayne lifted an eyebrow as he sat behind his desk. Lucius Fox sat in the other visitor chair next to Coulson. Bruce Wayne said, "I wasn't actually on the request, so thank you for letting me sit in."

Phil nodded and said, "Of course, Mr. Wayne. I can understand how you would be concerned about Shield's interest in your head of R&D. And I trust that you understand the need for discretion."

Phil turned to Lucius and said, "Mr. Fox, Shield needs you. The world is in grave danger. A unique power source was stolen by an alien with the ability to warp men's minds. We need your help to find the power source before the alien--the Asgardian god Loki--can use it to do more damage."

Lucius frowned and said, "Sounds like serious business."

Phil nodded and said, "Deadly. Eighty people have already lost their lives."

Lucius looked at Bruce Wayne. Wayne said to Phil, "I thought Tony Stark was Shield's go-to tech guy."

Phil shook his head and said, "Tony Stark may be be a genius, but he was evaluated and...not recommended."

Lucius shrugged and said, "Aliens with potential superweapons? Seems like a good reason to take a leave of absence."

Phil said, "I have all of the information with me, Mr. Fox. You can review the material on the way to the lab."

As the men stood, Phil turned to Bruce Wayne and said, "Mr. Wayne, I'm not sure that Gotham will be a target, but you may want to consider...countermeasures."

As the two other men left, Bruce wondered just how much Coulson--and Shield--actually knew.

***

Lucius Fox greeted Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanov, and Steve Rogers as they all came aboard the helicarrier. Lucius shook Steve Rogers' hand and said, "My father was at Azzano. Thank you for saving him."

Rogers nodded and said, "I'm glad I was able to help your dad make it home."

Lucius grinned and said, "But just for the record, Jacques Dernier is my favorite Howling Commando."

The two men shared a grin as they followed the others inside the helicarrier.

***

As Natasha watched Steve fight Loki in Stuttgard, she waited for a moment when she could safely shoot the Asgardian. She said to herself, "This guy's all over the place."

Suddenly a voice sounded on her comm. A man said, "Agent Romanov, do not shoot. I'm here by request from Nick Fury."

Superman swooped down, red cape billowing. He landed before Loki and let his eyes glow with a deadly laser light as he said, "Stand down, or suffer the consequences."

No one was relieved when Loki surrendered.

***

As Loki sat bound and quiet, Superman and Captain America evaluated the situation.

Steve frowned and said, "I don't like it."

Superman nodded and said, "Someone with that much power usually doesn't surrender so easily. We'll have to stay on our guard."

Suddenly thunder and lightning raged outside the jet. Loki looked nervous as he stared outside.

Steve asked Loki, "What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?"

Loki frowned and said, "I'm not overly fond of what follows."

Suddenly Thor yanked open the jet, grabbed Loki, and flew out before anyone could stop him.

Steve looked at Superman and asked, "Think the guy's a friendly?"

Superman answered, "Doesn't matter. If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract is lost."

As Superman moved to leave, Steve said, "Wait! we need a plan of attack!"

Superman shook his head and said, "No time. Come with me. We can plan on the way."

Steve jumped onto Superman's back as Superman flew them both into the night.

Natasha shook her head and hoped heroes were as strong as gods.

***

Steve jumped to the ground just before Superman landed between Loki and Thor.

Superman said, "We cannot let you take Loki."

Thor frowned and said, "You have no idea what you're dealing with."

Steve stepped forward and asked, "What's your plan?"

Thor gripped his hammer and replied, "I've come here to put an end to Loki's schemes!"

Steve nodded and said, "I believe you. I saw a report of what you did in New Mexico. Believe me, we want the same things--Loki stopped and the Tesseract safe."

Superman added, "We're better working together than against each other."

Steve said, "If it helps convince you, we're working with Phil Coulson."

Thor lowered his hammer and said, "You are with the son of Coul? Why didn't you say so?"

***

After the briefing on Loki, Bruce Banner looked up from his place next to Lucius at the back of the room and said, "Loki really grows on you, doesn't he?"

Steve frowned from where he sat at the table and said, "Loki's gonna drag this out. Thor, what's his play?"

Thor replied, "He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth in return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

Lucius raised his brows and asked, "An army? From outer space?"

Bruce looked at his fellow scientist and said, "So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for."

Thor straightened and asked, "Selvig?"

Bruce said, "He's an astrophysicist."

Thor frowned and said, "He's a friend."

Natasha said, "Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours."

Steve's brows lowered as he said, "I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here."

Superman nodded to Steve as Bruce said, "I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him."

Thor frowned and said, "Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother."

Natasha looked straight at Thor and said, "He killed 80 people in two days."

Thor looked away and said, "He's adopted."

Bruce said, "I think it's about the mechanics. Iridium, what did they need the iridium for?"

After a moment, Lucius snapped his fingers and replied, "It's a stabilizing agent! It means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at Shield."

He walked toward the table as he said, "From what I've heard about your missing agent, Barton can get his hands on the rest of the raw materials. The only major component he still needs is a power source. High energy density, so he can to kick-start the cube."

Superman crossed his arms and said, "The only power source I know of that would work has been secured." He didn't mention it was in his Fortress of Solitude. No one had ever found the place, and none of the technology Loki had access to was likely to pick up on it.

Steve nodded at Superman and then asked the scientists, "Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?"

Bruce said, "He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier."

Lucius pointed out, "Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect."

Bruce considered that, then replied, "Well, if he could do that he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet."

Nick Fury joined the conversation as he said, "Now that you've figured out what Loki will do with the cube, I hope that means we'll have a means of tracking it."

Steve said, "Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon."

Nick said, "I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys."

Thor's brow furrowed as he said, "Monkeys? I do not understand."

Steve straightened as he said, "I do! I understood that reference."

The others in the room hid fond smiles at the young captain's relief at hearing something familiar.

Lucius gestured to the door and said, "Shall we get started, Dr. Banner?"

Bruce smiled and said, "After you, Mr. Fox."

***

While Lucius and Bruce worked on the search program, they discussed their progress.

Bruce said, "The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process."

Lucius shook his head and said, "If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops."

Bruce shook his head and said, "All I packed was a tooth brush."

Lucius looked over and said, "It was a real loss to the scientific community when you dropped out of sight. You would be an asset at any university in the world. And if you want to go the private route, you should visit Gotham. I can guarantee a tour of Wayne Enterprises."

He smiled and continued, "I know the head of R&D."

Bruce replied, "Thanks, but the last time I was in a big city it was New York, and I kind of broke Harlem."

Lucius shook his head and said, "That was years ago. Seems like no one's seen the Hulk since then."

As Superman and Steve walked in, Lucius asked Bruce, "Do you think you're still dangerous?"

Bruce said, "I don't want to take any chances. Especially since I'm not so sure about what's going on."

Superman frowned and asked, "You think there's more going on than we know?"

Bruce said, "Why did Fury call us and why now? What isn't he telling us?"

Steve asked, "You think Fury's hiding something?"

Lucius shrugged and said, "Call my boss paranoid, but he ALWAYS thinks somebody's hiding something. And it seems like even our crazy guest downstairs knows it."

Bruce nodded and said, "A warm light for all mankind--that was Loki's jab at Fury about the cube."

Steve nodded and said, "We heard it."

Bruce said, "Well, I think that was meant for someone who isn't here--Tony Stark."

Steve asked, "Howard's son? The guy who built Stark Tower? That big, ugly building in New York?"

Bruce nodded and said, "That building is powered by arc reactors, a self-sustaining energy source. According to the press release, that building will run itself for like, a year?"

Lucius nodded and said, "And that's just the prototype. Stark is the biggest name in clean energy right now, even if it's only for his own private use."

Superman frowned and asked, "Then why didn't Shield bring him in on the Tesseract project?"

Steve thought a moment, then said, "I don't know much about the world as it is now, but the last time I saw the Tesseract, it wasn't being used for clean energy. It was used to power weapons."

He looked at the others and asked, "IS Shield in the energy business?"

The others shrugged and looked troubled.

Steve nodded and said to the scientists, "I don't think you two can waste any more time speculating about Shield. Whatever Loki's plan, he's way ahead of us. Better focus on finding the Tesseract."

He looked at Superman and said, "We'll find out what Shield is hiding."

***

As the two heroes left, Lucius said, "My family drank a toast to Captain America's memory every Veteran's Day. I kind of can't believe I actually met him. He's as good a guy as my dad said."

Bruce nodded and said, "And he's not wrong about Loki. Thor's brother may be crazy, but he does have the jump on us."

Lucius nodded and said, "We'd better do what we can to even the odds, before all you heroes have to suit up for whatever comes next."

Bruce shook his head and said, "No way. I don't have a suit. I'm exposed, like a nerve. It's a nightmare."

After a moment, Lucius said, "I know something about power. It can be a terrible privilege. But it also gives a person the chance to do something good, even great."

Bruce snorted and said, "Nothing good has come from what happened to me."

Lucius looked at Bruce and said, "I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you."

Bruce said, "And I wish it had. Because now I don't get a choice in the matter."

Lucius asked, "What do you mean?"

Bruce answered, "I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out."

Lucius said, "Sounds like the Hulk is looking out for you."

Bruce paced the room as he said, "So you're saying that the Hulk--the other guy--saved my life? That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?"

Lucius replied, "I don't know. Maybe something good, something great. Looks like we'll find out."

As the two turned back to their work, Bruce said, "You might not like that."

Lucius smiled and said, "You just might."

***

Steve and Superman stepped into a corridor on a lower deck of the helicarrier. As they walked, Superman said, "It must be so strange for you, to wake up in a world that moved on without you."

Steve swallowed and nodded. He said, "It's only been two weeks--I wake up still thinking I'm somewhere else. In my bed at home, wondering if I'll be well enough to go to school. In a ditch in Europe, catching a few hours' sleep before the next mission. On leave, actually having a real bed and starting the day with a shower and a hot breakfast with my friends..."

Superman paused them by resting a hand on Steve's shoulder. He said, "I'm not a soldier, but I do know what it's like to feel different and out of place. If you ever need a friend..."

Steve said, "Thanks, I may take you up on it. I always wanted to see Metropolis."

Superman smiled and said, "Call me Kal-El."

Steve smiled in return and said, "Steve."

Then he pointed to a nearby door and said, "This one, I think."

Kal-El tilted his head and asked, "Why this one?"

Steve said, "The schematics suggested that this section had the thickest walls and the most security measures, so it's likely for storing the most dangerous items."

He nodded back down the corridor, where the four guards they'd secured with the guards' own belts sat against the wall and continued, "Plus it's the only area Shield has tried to keep us out of."

Kal-El smiled and shoved the door open as he said, "Makes sense."

As Steve walked toward the first load of crates, Kal-El touched Steve's arm and said, "Allow me."

Kal-El used his X-Ray vision to scan the crates. He nodded and walked over to one, then tore off the lid and flung it to the side. He reached in and pulled out what was definitely a weapon.

Steve's shoulders slumped as he said, "Not clean energy at all."

Kal-El nodded grimly in agreement.

***

Nick Fury walked into the lab and then stopped in surprise. Neither scientist was working. He asked, "Shouldn't you be busy finding the Tesseract?"

Bruce shrugged and said, "We are. The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile."

Lucius nodded and said, "And you'll get your cube back. So now that we've done our part, how about you stop lying to us about what's really going on?"

Nick asked, "What do you mean? I'm not--"

Steve and Superman walked in and tossed Shield weapons onto the lab table. Superman said, "You don't need X-Ray vision to see the real truth here."

Nick looked at the four men and said, "We gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're--"

Steve stepped forward and said, "We're on a flying battleship. Are you really going to try and pretend Shield is a clean-energy company?"

Steve frowned and continued, "I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit."

Thor and Natasha walked into the lab after Natasha discovered Loki's plan to trigger the Hulk.

Bruce looked at Natasha and asked, "Did you know about this?"

Natasha said, "You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor?"

Bruce replied, "I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed."

Natasha said, "You heard me earlier. You're the key to Loki's plan here. Thor's brother is manipulating you."

Bruce asked, "And you've been doing what exactly?"

Natasha frowned and said, "You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you."

Bruce nodded and said, "Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I'd like to know why Shield is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction."

Nick pointed at Thor and said, "Because of him."

Thor looked around and asked, "Me?"

Nick answered, "Last year Earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned."

Thor protested, "My people want nothing but peace with your planet."

Nick shook his head and said, "But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, that can't be controlled."

Steve frowned and said, "Like you controlled the cube?"

Thor pointed out, "Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the Earth is ready for a higher form of war."

Steve asked, "A higher form?"

Nick said, "You forced our hand. We had to come up with something."

Lucius said, "You and I both grew up with the nuclear arms race. Are you really telling me THIS was your only option?"

Nick said, "You think anybody else on this planet has a better plan? Or any plan at all?"

Thor sneered and said, "I thought humans were more evolved than this."

Nick replied, "Excuse me, did WE come to YOUR planet and blow stuff up?"

Thor asked, "Do you always give your champions such mistrust?"

Natasha asked, "Are you really that naive? Shield monitors potential threats."

Bruce asked, "Captain America is on a watch list?"

Natasha replied, "We all are."

Superman straightened and frowned at that, but stayed out of the growing argument as Steve nudged his shoulder and pointed at the scepter, which had started to glow.

Steve looked at Superman and said, "Kal-El, this doesn't feel right. Can you take a look around and see if anything's going on?"

Superman nodded and used his X-Ray vision to look around and outside the helicarrier. He said, "There's a plane en route."

He focused more and recognized the face of one of the men aboard the jet from the earlier briefings. Superman shouted, "Incoming! Agent Barton is coming right toward us."

That seemed to snap everyone out of the strange spell the scepter had cast over them. Lucius looked over at Bruce, who was MUCH closer to the scepter than he had been. Lucius reached out and gently pulled the other scientist to the other side of the room, saying, "Hey, I know you got this." He was relieved to see the faint tinge of green disappear from Bruce's eyes.

Natasha immediately activated her comm and said, "Alert! That incoming jet is full of Loki's people, including Clint."

An alarm started as Maria Hill's voice came over the speakers. She said, "All defenses online, but we'd really like to neutralize them before they get in range to do real damage."

Steve thought a moment, then said, "Thor, Kal-El, try and secure the jet without killing anyone on board. We don't know who's there voluntarily and who's under Loki's spell."

He continued, "Lucius and Bruce, lock yourselves in and keep monitoring the search for the Tesseract."

Steve knew Nick would have his own plans, so Steve looked at Natasha and said, "We'd better check on Loki."

As they all ran out, Natasha grabbed Steve's shield and tossed it to him as they headed down the corridor.

***

Thor had to admit that at least one Earth hero was as mighty as an Asgardian as he watched Superman use his eye lasers and his own body to stop everything that the jet fired toward the helicarrier. Thor landed on top of the jet, ripped a hatch open and jumped inside. A bolt of lightning shorted out the controls and the jet started to fall from the sky.

The sudden jolt caused most of the men aboard to smash against the walls and ceiling and fall unconscious. Except for Barton, who braced himself to fire a bunch of arrows at the Asgardian.

Thor used his hammer to knock away the arrows coming at him and shouted, "Barton, Loki's plot has failed! Cease your attack and surrender!"

His words had no effect. When Barton ran out of arrows, he grabbed for one of the guns littered on the floor.

Thor leaped forward and brought his hammer down, remembering at the last moment that this was not an enemy, but a warrior twisted by Loki into a slave.

He frowned as Barton joined the pile of men on the floor. As he felt Superman lift the jet and fly toward the helicarrier, Thor hoped all would be well.

***

In the control center, Maria Hill continued to coordinate the security measures and scan for other attacks as Nick Fury watched Thor and Superman deal with the jet. Although they'd definitely destroyed Loki's ride, Nick couldn't help feeling that the world was still in danger.

***

Phil joined Natasha and Steve as they entered the room containing Loki's cell. All of them froze at the empty container in the middle of the room.

Loki appeared at the far side of the room, out of his cell. He looked at them, then moved toward one of the exits as he said, "I lingered for a last farewell with my dear brother, and all I get are you puny mortals. Oh, well."

As the Asgardian moved closer toward the exit, Steve flung his shield and embedded it in the wall to block easy access to the door controls.

Phil rushed toward the podium with the cell's controls while Steve and Natasha split up to approach Loki from either side. Phil said, "I'll get the cell prepped again! Drive him toward the cell door!"

As Phil reached for the controls, Natasha shouted, "Don't!"

Phil froze.

Steve looked at Natasha, who tilted her head toward the cell. Steve nodded and straightened. Neither hero bothered to stop Loki as he once more moved toward the exit.

Phil looked from one hero to the other and asked, "What did I miss?"

Natasha gestured toward the cell and said, "From what we can tell, without the scepter, Loki only has illusions. He won't get out unless we open the door for him."

Phil smirked as the Loki near the exit dissolved.

Then Phil walked over to a different section of the wall, opened a compartment, and pushed a button. A faint hiss of escaping air sounded. A few moments later, Loki appeared in the cell and landed hard on the floor.

Steve walked over and pulled his shield out of the wall, then asked, "Was that some kind of knockout gas?"

Phil nodded and said, "Yep. Enough to put the Hulk down for a solid twelve hours--we THINK."

Natasha looked at the unconscious Asgardian and said, "Hope you packed some extra canisters."

***

Controlled by the Tesseract and Loki's spell, Erik Selvig continued to set up his glorious machine. He didn't hear the sounds of struggle below as the other men Barton had dropped off with Erik fought with the owner of the Tower, Tony Stark.

Erik was almost done. The mechanism was already self-sustaining, so it did not matter when the building's power source suddenly cut off. All that was needed now was to insert the Tesseract into its holding chamber.

He carefully used a clamp to lift the cube into position. Just a few more centimeters...

Suddenly an armored arm appeared in front of Erik's face as Iron Man snatched the cube from Erik's grip. Iron Man said, "Not so fast, grandpa."

Neither man spoke as they stared at the glowing cube in Iron Man's palm. But then the cube glowed brighter as waves of blue light shot from it to fill the air. The sky above them changed into an unfamiliar starscape.

Iron Man shouted as he realized he'd couldn't drop the Tesseract. Soon he began to dissolve--fingers first, then his palm, wrist, arm, and then his entire body. Iron Man seemed to melt into a beam of light that shot straight into the starscape.

When he was gone, the Tesseract dropped to the roof of the building. Erik quickly used another tool to lift the Tesseract into position. As the Tesseract clicked into place and the machine began to do its work, Erik stepped back and waited for what the Tesseract wished to reveal.

***

Lucius and Bruce kept watch on their program and on the monitors showing different areas of the helicarrier. They waited in silence to find out if Loki's plans were truly stopped.

Then a screen lit up with a location for the Tesseract: Stark Tower, New York.

Lucius and Bruce looked at each other, then raced to unlock the door.

***

Natasha waited in Clint's room as Clint washed up. She hoped that she was able to make him understand that he was more than the things he was forced to do, just as he had once helped her to understand.

She looked up as Steve walked in. Steve said, "Time to go."

Natasha asked, "Go where?"

Steve replied, "I'll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of those jets?"

Clint walked out of the room and said, "I can."

Steve looked at Natasha. When she nodded her head, he nodded too and asked Clint, "You got a suit?"

Clint straightened, relieved that he was on the team, and said, "Yeah."

Steve replied, "Then suit up."

***

Thor and Superman landed on the roof of Stark Tower. Superman shot his eye lasers at the device, but the beam hit an energy shield and bounced back.

Erik shouted, "It's too late! It can't stop now. It wants to show us something! A new universe."

Thor scowled and lifted his hammer, trying to bash the shield. A wave pulsed all around, flinging Erik against a nearby structure on the roof. Erik fell to the ground unconscious.

Superman said, "This barrier seems to be pure energy."

Both men looked up as an alien army began to spill from the portal.

***

Natasha and Clint flew the quinjet, working with the other ships from the helicarrier in taking out as many Chitauri soldiers as they could. Lucius, Steve, and Bruce held on in the back as they strategized.

Steve said, "All we know right now is whatever shield is on that device, neither Thor nor Kal-El could put a dent in it."

Lucius said, "This is one time when I am NOT excited about learning new technology."

Bruce snorted and said, "This all seems terrible."

Then they were jolted as the quinjet took a fatal hit. Clint shouted, "Brace yourself! We're going down!"

The jet landed hard. Lucius looked over at Bruce, glad the man was still Bruce. Lucius said, "You really got a hold on it."

Bruce just nodded as they tumbled out of the jet into chaos.

***

Each hero did their best to stop the alien soldiers surrounding them. Thor and Superman landed next to the group of heroes as a shadow fell over them. Everyone looked up at the alien Leviathans that started sailing out of the portal.

Clint swallowed and asked, "What the hell do we do about this?"

Lucius looked at Bruce and said, "Something good, maybe even something great. I'll take care of the portal."

Steve nodded and said, "The Other Guy may make the difference here. Dr. Banner, now might be a really good time for you to get angry."

Bruce said, "That's my secret, Captain. I'm always angry." The others watched in awe as Bruce turned into the Hulk and roared.

Thor looked at their group and said, "Lead us, Captain."

Steve straightened his shoulders and said, "All right, listen up. Until we can close that portal up there, we're gonna use containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Kal-El, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or your turn it to ash."

Clint glanced at Superman and said, "Wanna give me a lift?"

Superman grinned and said, "Of course. Welcome to the team."

The two quickly flew away.

Steve continued, "Thor, you've gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow them down. You've got the lightning. Light the bastards up."

He looked at Lucius and Natasha and said, "You two, get to the roof and find a way to take out that portal. I'll stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here."

Steve looked at the Hulk and said, "And Hulk--Smash."

The Hulk grinned and jumped away to join the fight with a roar.

***

As the team disbanded to fulfill their missions, Natasha tugged Lucius toward the downed jet. She said, "Wait, we need more ammunition."

Lucius stepped with her into the jet. He opened lockers until he found a machine gun as Natasha ran into the damaged cockpit.

When she came back, Lucius saw she was carrying Loki's scepter. She said, "I thought this might come in handy."

As they came back out on the street, they could see how many Chitauri were rampaging. Lucius shook his head and said, "You can't waste time babysitting me."

Natasha shook her head and said, "The scepter will be a target. We've got to get out of this fight as fast as we can."

Lucius caught the scepter as Natasha tossed it to him as she ran toward Steve. He watched in shock as Steve and Natasha performed a boost with the Captain America shield to get Natasha on one of the alien scooters. After Natasha quickly took out the soldiers, she managed to get the vehicle under control and brought it back to them.

She grinned and said, "All aboard!"

Lucius jumped on. As they flew to the top of Stark Tower, dodging aliens and their weapons, he thought they might just have a chance.

***

Kal-El was shocked when Nick Fury warned them of an incoming nuclear missile. How could anyone think firing a nuke on New York was a good idea? But as he looked up at the portal, he knew what he had to do.

He heard Lucius say, "Selvig and I got through the shield using Loki's scepter. I can close down the portal!"

Kal-El immediately shouted, "Don't! Or New York is doomed."

He continued, "Thor, stop firing at the portal. I'm going to need a clear flight path."

Flying quickly, Kal-El caught the missile and directed it toward the portal. When he tried to loosen his grip, the missile started to auto-correct back to New York. He was going to have to take it all the way in.

He flew through the portal into an unfamiliar starscape. The second he crossed the threshold, away from Earth's yellow sun, he could feel himself start to weaken. But he powered on until he knew the missile could not turn back.

Then HE turned, and used the last of his fading strength to fly back toward the only home he'd ever known.

***

On the comms, Lucius heard the others mutter versions of, "Come on, Superman" and "Where the hell is he?"

Lucius could feel the thrum of energy all around him as he held Loki's scepter over the Tesseract. The two blue glows inside the shield worried him, but not as much as the portal above him. He said, "That missile could blow any second. The explosion and the fallout could come right back through the portal."

After another few agonizing seconds, he heard Steve say, "Close it."

Lucius did. And hoped Superman would return before their teammate was lost forever.

***

Kal-El was unconscious as he fell through the final small gap in the portal. He didn't know how the others watched in horror as he plummeted to the ground. Or how with a sudden roar, the Hulk leaped up and saved him.

He didn't know he wasn't breathing, but he suddenly snapped awake--and back to life--at the touch of a warm hand against his cheek as Steve said, "Kal-El?"

Kal-El smiled up at his new friend, at New York, and the warm, yellow sun of Earth shining in the blue sky. He said, "I'm here."

He heard Thor say, "I'm hungry."

As they all chuckled, Steve said, "I know just the place."

Which is how the new team ended up in the Peter Luger Steakhouse, a Brooklyn landmark since 1887. They didn't have any cash on them, so the family who owned the place graciously let them set up one of the in-restaurant payment plans, same as 90,000 other New Yorkers.

Eating with his new friends in a place he never dreamed of being able to afford, Steve thought he might just make it in this new century.

***

Near the end of the meal, the heroes were surprised when a tray of desserts came out. When asked about the sweets they didn't order, the server pointed to a man stepping forward with a very distinctive silhouette.

Lucius was the only one not surprised when Batman stepped forward and said, "Sorry I was too late for the party, but I figured I was just in time for the congratulations."

Of course the heroes invited Batman to sit down. As everyone shuffled to make space for another chair, Batman and Lucius shared a nod.

Lucius wondered if maybe Batman would discover the benefits of teamwork. And maybe make some new friends.

***

This "team done right" had a very different universe. After waking up as his own man, Loki shared what he knew about Thanos and his plans. Jarvis confirmed what happened on the roof, and Tony Stark was declared dead. Stark Industries ended up going to Pepper, though she resented Tony bequeathing to the Boy Scouts the art collection she'd spent years putting together. Lucius Fox took another leave of absence and joined Bruce Banner to help Pepper reorganize the company and secure Jarvis and the Iron Man tech. Until a young engineer named Riri Williams took up the mantle as Iron Heart. After the fall of Shield (bringing with it the addition of Sam and the rescue and rehabilitation of Bucky Barnes), Pepper used part of the multi-billions she was gradually redistributing to give the heroes a training base and funding, with no strings attached.

Lucius Fox didn't have the kind of ego that made him think he could use alien technology for his own ends without consulting the team. And Kal-El understood that while he was disturbed by what he had seen in the portal, all of the heroes were aware of the threats to Earth and he could discuss his concerns with them instead of hiding his plans. So the "Sokovian Incident" was limited to Strucker's bunker and a brief skirmish with the twins. The Maximoffs soon came to understand that Strucker had lied to them for years and the heroes were not the fascists, Hydra was.

When the heroes came across Ulysses Klaue's stolen vibranium, Steve and the others met the Black Panther. This led to Wakanda stepping forward as another source of funding as more enhanced people needed help and training to protect the Earth. Without the disaster at Sokovia, the world was able to view the "Lagos Incident" for what it was--Wanda Maximoff doing her best to stop Crossbones' plan to blow up a marketplace full of people. When certain shady members of governments tried to register enhanced beings and deny them basic rights with the Lagos Accords, no hero signed on. They stood united as a team to help craft the "oversight with safeguards" that Steve wanted. The Ancient One stepped forward to reveal the Mind Stone in Loki's scepter. That stone was entrusted to Wanda, and the Ancient One trained Wanda to explore her full powers as the Scarlet Witch.

The team always stood united, and that team was more than a match for Thanos. Especially because no one went to Titan, so the Time Stone stayed safely on Earth out of Thanos's hands.

Because the Snap never happened, none of the heroes ever went to Vormir. But if they ever HAD made it to Vormir, they'd have found two guardians of the Soul Stone: The former Red Skull, and the former Iron Man, who spent eternity together wondering what the heck happened.

Chapter 48: Tony is a horrible friend

Have you noticed that for prop-Tony folks, friendship is a one-way street? They bash Pepper, Rhodey, and even Happy for "abandoning" Tony, but ignore how horribly Tony treats the people he calls his friends. It's like everyone EXCEPT Tony is responsible for his poor decisions. Like they have to be Tony's eternal nanny, no matter how spoiled he behaves or how many tantrums he pulls. As if Tony isn't actually a fortysomething adult who is responsible for HIMSELF. They claim Tony is THEIR doormat, and ignore how Tony tried to force Pepper to kiss him and made her chase after him when he's supposed to be doing his job. How Tony kept Rhodey (and the Air Force) waiting while Tony wasted time and then made a homophobic, transphobic joke that could have cost Rhodey his career. And when Tony made fun of Happy and set him up to be embarrassed for Tony's own amusement. What if Tony's friends stopped letting Tony walk all over THEM?

Note: Set some time after Iron Man 3.

***

Tony finally got around to showing up at the brunch about 90 minutes late. Adjusting the clasps on the leg armor of his fourth back-up suit was IMPORTANT, okay? And he knew the others would wait for him. That's what friends did. Or what his friends had to do. They were used to it - he'd kept them waiting on him for years.

As he walked into the restaurant, he was shocked to see it completely empty. Except for one table in the back, where Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper were chatting. Only water glasses and coffee cups were left on the table, except for an unused place setting in front of an empty seat.

Tony walked over and sat in the chair. He gave a lazy wave and said, "So, what's good? I'm kind of hungry. Apparently none of you brought me food or reminded me to eat."

As all three looked at Tony, he realized that this was NOT a casual brunch among friends. He asked, "What's going on?"

The three looked at each other, then Pepper said, "We're staging an intervention, Tony. We're drawing a line: Start behaving like an adult, or find someone else to be your nanny. We're done."

Happy nodded and said, "We can't take it anymore. Do you KNOW what your fans say and write about us? It's too much."

Rhodey gestured and said, "Those people online, they - Tony, I read the scripts for the next few films and the fan reactions. They tried to make MY paralysis all about you. As if me losing the use of MY legs was an example of YOU 'facing consequences'."

Pepper nodded and said, "YOU almost murdered me in my bed, and they get on MY case because I'm not 'supportive enough' and I don't 'make you get help for your PTSD'. As if ANYONE can make you do ANYTHING."

She frowned and continued, "As if I didn't have my own PTSD to deal with thanks to being around YOU. I had to KILL for you, Tony. More than once. What about MY PTSD? What about my right to feel safe in my own home? But no, they just call me ungrateful bitch and gold digger."

Happy nodded and said, "I get accused of not 'standing by you'. How many times am I supposed to be the butt of your jokes or pranks before somebody feels sorry for ME?"

Rhodey said, "And we're not even going into the REAL problematic stuff, like the homophobia, transphobia, the way you treat women and anybody who works for you or who you just don't feel is your intellectual equal..."

Tony shrugged and said, "It's MY world. You guys just live in it. You're lucky I let you do anything at all, and I DO make sure you get a hero moment now and again."

The others looked at each other, then Pepper said, "That's not good enough anymore. Have you seen 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier'? Steve supports his friends and gives EVERYBODY a chance to shine. They have character arcs, moral dilemmas, real discussions about real issues..."

Happy said, "And NOBODY is the butt of any jokes or pranks."

Rhodey clasped his hands on the table and said, "Look, Tones, we care about you and we've stood by you while you pulled A TON of crap, but enough is enough. Cap's crew are VERY welcoming, so we could switch over in a heartbeat."

Pepper said, "You are almost FIFTY years old, Tony. Grow up already. Get help for your PTSD from the right kind of doctor, like Bruce told you to. Stop being a sexist creep. And STAY AWAY from children."

Tony frowned and said, "How did you know about Par-"

Happy said, "Do NOT say the kid's name. Geez."

As the three got up from the table, Pepper said, "Think about it, Tony. Let us know what you decide to do."

While the were getting ready to leave, Happy said, "And get your AI nanny to tell you when to eat."

As they left, someone muttered about Tony making the robots cut up and pre-chew Tony's food for him too.

Tony frowned down at the table. How DARE they claim he didn't treat them well? And about such LITTLE stuff. He only risked Rhodey's career, almost killed Pepper with strawberries, set up Happy to be trounced in the boxing ring by a girl. After all he'd done for them...

As Tony continued to sit alone, he tried to remember exactly what he HAD done for them. But he also starting thinking about everything he'd done TO them.

Maybe he did owe them a few apologies. And a promise to try to be as good a friend to them as they'd been to him.

Chapter 49: Ultron wasn't an exception - Tony's AIs are killers

Someone pointed out online that ALL of Tony's AIs are willing to kill on command, so Ultron having no problem in killing the entire population of Earth could be based on TONY's lack of care when designing his AIs. It makes sense, because while Jarvis occasionally made a mild suggestion to try more peaceful means, Friday, Karen, and Edith will kill anyone without even a token protest, even children.

Note: Set during Spider-Man Homecoming, between Peter stopping Vulture and Tony's offer to join the Avengers/give back the suit.

***

Tony yelped as he walked into his private lab to see Nasty Natasha standing with some bald black chick, Pepper, the Spider-Kid, and some tubby Asian kid. Then Tony asked, "Did someone schedule a school trip and didn't bother to tell me? I can't say I think much of the choice of chaperones."

Natasha and the bald chick ignored him. Suddenly a young woman's voice sounded from INSIDE one of the computer banks. The new chick said, "I can definitely confirm that the 'Instant Kill' setting is part of the suit's base programming."

Spider-Kid nodded and said, "It wanted to activate 'Instant Kill' based on someone's POLICE RECORD. Who does that?"

The other kid shrugged and said, "Tony Stark, apparently."

The voice continued, "ALL of these AIs have the same coding. I guess you could call it a 'killer mindset.' There are no protocols for confirming the target or even a pause before firing on ANYONE, even-even a busload of children."

Suddenly a young black woman walked out from around the computer bank. She held a small device in her hand. The chick said, "There are also some really shady schematics in there. Some kind of killer drones around the world setup."

The bald chick, Pepper, and Natasha looked grim. Tony frowned and said to the new chick, "Who the hell are you and why are you putting your nose where it DEFINITELY does not belong."

The new chick shrugged and said, "Princess Shuri of Wakanda. And I was invited."

Tony frowned and said, "What?"

Pepper gestured at the others in the room and said, "I invited her, along with the others."

Tony asked, "What the HELL?"

Spider-Kid said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. I know you took the suit back, but I was telling Ned about what happened and when I mentioned the 'Instant Kill' mode--"

The tubby kid said, "Yeah, it's cool but really NOT COOL, you know?"

Spider-Kid continued, "He said maybe I should talk with you about it, even if I never got the suit back. So I called and called, but this time I didn't even get voice mail. So I called, um, Ms. Potts. I figured she would know about your stuff and could, um, talk to you about things?"

Pepper nodded and said, "Tony, I didn't want to believe it--but then I remembered waking up in my own bed to one of your suits pointing a repulsor at me. So I had to make sure."

Natasha said, "I was surprised to hear from Pepper, but I can't say I was surprised by what she was telling me. So I made a few calls and brought in a consultant."

Tony scoffed and said, "This KID? You think this 'Princess' has any idea what she's talking about?"

He stepped toward the princess to get in her face, but before he got anywhere near the bald chick was between them. She put three fingers on his chest and calmly pushed him back, sliding Tony across the floor. He may have squeaked. The bald chick was STRONG.

The princess chick said, "I not only know what I'm talking about, I know how to gather incriminating evidence on all your little projects. And where to put the proof so YOU won't be able to destroy or erase any of it."

Pepper said, "Tony, if ANY of this gets out--including you bringing a 14-YEAR-OLD to Europe to fight SUPER-POWERED adults--you could be in a lot of trouble."

The princess said, "So you'd better be careful about what you want to work on. We'll all be watching."

As the Legion of Tony's Doom turned to leave, the princess said to the Spider-Kid, "You need a suit? Because I make the BEST suits. And it would be so cool to work with someone with an entirely different skill set..."

Natasha and Pepper were last. Natasha said, "You know, Tony, I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. That Ultron going genocidal wasn't your programming, but something else. But after seeing what Shuri found in ALL of your AIs..."

Natasha and Pepper shook their heads and walked out.

Tony had a feeling he and Pepper were NOT getting back together any time soon. Or maybe at all.

Chapter 50: If you're okay with Tony trying to murder Bucky, you're okay with John Walker actually succeeding in killing Nico

There was an article online that suggested John Walker is actually a mirror to Iron Man. Not in being a billionaire or tech genius (and not even in being the jackass that Tony Stark is), but in his approach to power and how he uses it. John Walker buys into his own sense of power and privilege, his "I am Captain America" mirroring Tony's "I am Iron Man." And when each man had a choice to recognize that power comes with responsibility, they each chose to commit (or attempt to commit) murder of a person who was not directly responsible for their grief. In one way John Walker is different: Because he is not a multi-billionaire, he had to face SOME consequences for his actions. But John Walker's privilege (this time being a super-soldier) does make his punishment less than it might have been. Most importantly, the same excuses are used to justify Walker's and Tony's actions. So if you were okay with one, you have to be okay with the other. (Or admit it's a "because it's Tony" situation.) Let's explore how Tony's excuses are used in Walker's situation.

***

Darcy Lewis and Christine Everhart smiled at the camera as Christine said, "Welcome to the latest edition of 'Because Tony'. What's on tap for today, Darcy?"

Darcy said, "We're going to look at how some people are saying that it was okay for Tony Stark to try to murder Bucky Barnes, but not okay for John Walker to succeed in murdering the Flag-Smasher Nico. It's pretty ridiculous."

Christine nodded and said, "I have to agree. They're claiming that Tony's act was 'pure passion' while John Walker's was 'corrupt passion'. Can you believe it?"

Darcy said, "We're not going to roll tape, because in both cases it's pretty gruesome. But let's recap: Tony Stark acknowledges that Bucky Barnes is NOT the Winter Soldier, because Tony calls Bucky 'Manchurian Candidate,' referencing a film where a soldier was brainwashed into becoming an assassin. Tony sees a clip of Barnes killing Howard Stark--"

Christine said, "NOT Maria Stark, remember, that's Bucky recalling the event. The camera didn't show that side of the car."

Darcy nodded and said, "And this 25-year-old crime was in prop-Tony folks' minds justification for cold-blooded murder. The comments were 'Tony has PTSD...', 'The poor baby is under so much stress,' 'he's just been reminded of a traumatic event,' and let's not forget that gem, 'I would straight-up murder Bucky too'."

Christine shuddered and said, "Makes you wonder about people, doesn't it? So we can apply those VERY SAME excuses to John Walker. He's a combat veteran, he's just taken the super-soldier serum, he WITNESSED a traumatic event. His friend was just killed in front of him. Is it okay for John Walker to attack and decapitate someone? Especially someone who was NOT directly responsible for his friend's death? The only difference between Tony Stark and John Walker is that John Walker didn't have Steve Rogers to step in and save him from becoming a murderer."

Darcy said, "There is another difference: Nico's death was truly a crime of passion, while Tony Stark was cold-bloodedly trying to murder Bucky NOT to avenge his parents but to punish Steve. That's on the DVD commentary, and in the film where Tony says he doesn't care that Bucky isn't responsible, he's going to kill Bucky anyway."

Christine nodded and said, "Now let's make it clear that Tony Stark and John Walker - and T'Challa, too - had every right to FEEL whatever grief and rage they did at events. That's perfectly okay. What's NOT okay is using your power and privilege to get revenge. The ACTIONS of all three men were wrong. And if you're justifying Tony trying to murder Bucky, then you can't condemn Walker for actually succeeding in his attempt to murder Nico. It's hypocritical and excusing Tony's actions 'because Tony'."

Darcy said, "There's one other difference: John Walker was forced to face consequences for his actions. Tony Stark hid ALL of his crimes in Civil War, so Tony NEVER accepted responsibility for his actions or apologized to ANYONE he hurt and betrayed during the film."

Christine said, "That's very true. I don't think Tony ever apologized to ANY of the Avengers for ANYTHING he did to them or the world. Which makes the world very lucky that Tony Stark is dead and can't do any more harm."

Darcy crossed her fingers and said, "Let's just hope he stays that way."

Chapter 51: No honest judge would award custody of a child to Tony Stark

Now Tony Stark is adopting Kamala Khan, in addition to Shuri, Peter, MJ, Nebula, Riri, and Harley. (Notice how Ned is never included. It can't be because Ned already has parental figures, because everyone else does as well. Maybe because he can crack Tony Stark's security with a regular laptop?) It's ridiculous to think any judge with good judgement would let Tony Stark have custody of ANYONE.

So what's more likely: May Parker abuses Peter, or Tony "I want one" Stark abuses his privilege to get what he wants?

Note: This is not how custody hearings work as far as I know, but the prop-Tony fics ignore reality, so this does too. :)

***

Pepper was repeating herself AGAIN. She said on the phone, "Tony, I really don't think this is a good idea. You have no child-care experience, no relationship to this Peter Parker, and no clearance from the state to be a foster parent. You're setting yourself up for disappointment."

Tony said, "Listen Pep, I got it all planned out. Just make sure the jungle gym is delivered to the Tower on time, all right?"

Tony cut off the conversation, then rubbed his hands together as he rode in the back of the limo. His plan to get the Spider-Kid was almost complete. All it took was a little hacking to change drink receipts, and some "incriminating" photos pulled from perfectly innocent videos. That of course he only had access to because FRIDAY was everywhere and didn't bother with silly things like rules and regulations about people's privacy.

Not when Tony Stark wanted something. He couldn't wait until his new "SpiderSon" started calling him "IronDad."

Honestly, May Parker was lucky Tony went with the smear campaign. Civilians could die so easily, in car accidents, bus and train accidents, slips and falls, faulty wiring in the bathroom, random break-ins gone wrong...

Tony said to FRIDAY, "Is Aunt Hottie still counting on Blind Justice and Company to make her case?"

FRIDAY replied, "Yes, boss, there are no changes filed. Your army of lawyers are already setting up in the courtroom."

***

Tony thought it was a nice touch that his lawyers spoke a description of each damning photo into the record for the benefit of Matt Murdock, Parker's blind attorney. Even though Nelson, the other half of the firm, probably already let his partner know how awful they made May Parker look. But the judge - some old bat with a grey mop of hair and a chain on her glasses - certainly looked uneasy about them.

He smiled at Peter, who was sitting with some other kids at the back of the room. Tony made a mental note to see if any of them were worth "adopting," too.

Then Murdock stood and said, "We call Tony Stark to the stand."

Tony frowned, but his lawyers let him know being Tony Stark didn't let him get out of it. After Tony was sworn in, Murdock asked, "Mr. Stark, where and how did you acquire the photos of May Parker presented at this hearing?"

Tony shifted in his seat. He couldn't actually tell the court that FRIDAY had "acquired" them off stolen video feeds. He said, "Uh, a concerned citizen dropped them off. In, uh, the mailroom of the Tower. We don't know who."

Murdock said, "It seems odd that ANYONE could get into Stark Tower without being noticed, but we'll set that aside for now. Mr. Stark, do you notice anything odd about the photos?"

Nelson spread the photos on the edge of the stand. Tony looked at the moments of May Parker goofily laughing, lifting drinks, and that perfect moment when she tripped and stumbled into a stranger. Tony said, "They look pretty straightforward to me."

Murdock leaned against the table and said, "The angle, Mr. Stark. The bar where these photos were taken is a single story building. No person with a camera or cell phone could be so high up. The photos are from the bar's surveillance cameras."

Tony shrugged and asked, "So?"

This time Nelson spoke up. "So, Mr. Stark, did you do any research into these photos before you used them to infringe upon the custodial relationship between May Parker and her nephew, Peter Parker?"

Tony glanced at his lawyers, who were starting to sweat. Tony replied, "Uh, no. Of course not. The photos speak for themselves."

Nelson nodded and looked at the people gathered in the courtroom. Murdock also nodded and said, "For the record, the video these photos were taken from mysteriously disappeared from the bar's online server."

Tony smirked.

Murdock continued, "Fortunately, the bar owner kept a local backup that was NOT on the internet."

Tony frowned and looked at his lawyers again. They were all focused on their table.

Murdock turned toward the judge and said, "Your Honor, we are prepared to play the full video of May Parker's visit to the bar in question on the night in question. We also will call the bar owner, who discovered discrepancies in his online receipts of the night in question. AND we will call Mr. Jonas Cord, who is the man pictured in several of the photos. He will testify that May Parker fell into him because on her way out of the building, she slipped on a coaster that had fallen to the floor. AND that she was NOT intoxicated at the time of the incident."

Tony started to sweat.

Nelson said, "In addition, Your Honor, we have evidence why Tony Stark is not fit to be ANY child's custodian. This evidence includes being drunk and disorderly on multiple occasions, including at least one occasion that involved Mr. Stark firing weapons into a crowded room. We also have affadavits from multiple Stark Industry employees on Mr. Stark's demeaning and disrespectful manner."

Murdock said, "We also have a report from the ward in question, Your Honor. Peter Parker is ready to testify to several frankly disturbing encounters with Mr. Stark. Including Mr. Stark locking himself in a room with Mr. Parker when Mr. Parker was only 14 years old. We are requesting a summary dismissal and the granting of a restraining order against Mr. Stark to eliminate all possibility of further contact with the Parkers."

Everyone looked at Tony. Tony shifted in his seat.

The judge said, "Mr. Murdock and Mr. Nelson, I will certainly confirm all of the evidence you say you can provide. But I am ready to make a provisional ruling now."

She turned to look at Tony with a severe frown, then said, "Mr. Stark, I am dismissing your attempt to claim guardianship of the minor in question. I also grant the restraining order - do not go near May Parker or Peter Parker, or contact them in any way. Further, I recommend that a full investigation be initiated to determine EXACTLY how your 'evidence' came into this courtroom."

The judge shook her head and said, "I suggest you add some criminal attorneys to your stable, Mr. Stark. It seems you may need them."

She banged her gavel and said, "Case dismissed."

As Tony left the stand, he frowned at the kids jumping all around May Parker and her lawyers, and all the hugs.

Then the kids started making rude hand gestures and sticking their tongues out at HIM. How rude.

He didn't want a Spider-Kid anyway.

Chapter 52: Tony sexually assaults people, not the other Avengers

There's a creepy story out there that the Avengers raped a drunk Tony. Why would any of the Avengers be interested in Tony? He makes fun of their traumas, talks down to them, and disrespects them. Plus the rest of the Avengers are attractive, nice people, so they would have no problem finding friends or lovers. And Tony is the only one who makes rape jokes and tried to force himself on Pepper. So the whole idea is just bizarre.

Note: Set after the first Avengers film.

***

Tony peeked through the open door and watched as the others chatted around the conference table. So friendly and happy without him there.

How dare they? After what they did?

Tony banged the doors open as he announced, "Enjoy your freedom while it lasts."

The Avengers gave him confused looks. Were they all in denial?

Tony walked up to the table and said, "Better get your stories straight, because I'm calling the police."

Captain Righteous looked over and asked, "What's happened, Tony? Why do we need the police?"

Tony sneered at Cap and said, "You're going to play dumb? Nobody's that blond."

Rhodey stood up and said, "What are you talking about? Cap has been here all day."

Tony said, "Well where was he last night? I'll tell you--in the back of my limo with the rest of them. Taking advantage of me."

Widow leaned back and said, "Last night you were the only one in the back of your limo. We poured you into it after you drank an entire pitcher of whatever that blue concoction you ordered was."

Tony stopped and stared. He said, "That's impossible. I remember exactly what happened. He--you--ALL of you--"

Thor stood and said, "Stark, I know nothing of this tale. We all met last evening and shared both food and drink I had never tasted before. But we parted from you before the night was far gone."

Banner nodded and said, "Tony, whatever you think you remember, none of us were there for it."

He took off his glasses and said, "I have to tell you, you are one obnoxious drunk. After you cursed us all out for not wanting to live in your tower, we sent you home with your driver--Happy?--and spent the night at Steve's."

Barton nodded, looked at Cap, and said, "Have to say, Cap, that's the lumpiest couch I've ever crashed on."

Cap ducked his head and said, "I wasn't expecting guests."

Tony sank into a chair and said, "It happened...I know it happened."

Rhodey frowned and said, "Okay, Tony, let's find out what happened. Jarvis, do you have footage of Tony's evening?"

The AI's voice came from the ceiling. He said, "Yes, Colonel Rhodes. Sir was placed into his limo by Thor, Captain Rogers, and Mr. Hogan. The he was driven home and put to bed by Mr. Hogan. Sir had a restless night and called out several times."

Widow said, "Then...no assault happened?"

Jarvis replied, "There are no gaps in my surveillance."

Cap leaned forward and said, "It sounds like you may have had a nightmare. I know guys in my unit who had them. So vivid--they can seem so real you think it's a memory."

Tony stood up and said, "You're all lying." He walked over to a console and began typing. He said, "I'll show you--Jarvis, do you have any records of inappropriate behavior?"

Jarvis said, "Yes, sir, but--"

Tony snapped, "Then show them. NOW."

Jarvis said, "Very well, sir." The screen at the end of the room lit up and showed a series of clips.

Tony crossed his arms and glared at the others. But then he realized all of the clips were about TONY being inappropriate with others. Including Pepper. Tony winced as he watched his past self trying to force himself on her multiple times in their acquaintance. It was amazing she still wanted anything to do with him.

As the screen darkened, Tony realized that NONE of the clips were about the Avengers--except Tony's own crass remarks about "Natalie Rushman."

Rhodey walked over and took Tony's arm. As he steered Tony out of the room, Rhodey said, "Tony, I keep telling you to lay off the booze. Especially the hard stuff. I'm glad that you didn't actually get attacked, but that is just messed up, man. You need some serious therapy."

Tony nodded as he mumbled an apology and left the room. Maybe he really did need some professional help.

Chapter 53: Steve is never jealous of Tony, but Tony is always jealous of Steve

There are so many stories that warp Steve and others to prop Tony. One of the weirdest is this idea that Steve is jealous of Tony, for his wealth, success, sexual conquests or something. It's bizarre, because Steve is a genuinely nice guy whose first thought in Civil War is that Tony and Pepper are expecting and is happy for them. And Steve has never looked impressed with any of Tony's trappings of wealth--he considers Stark Tower the big, ugly building it is. And as a survivor of the Great Depression and World War 2, Steve knows that people's actions and character are far more important than the trappings of wealth and success. Tony seems incredibly jealous of Steve, though.

Note: I realized that Star Trek's Q in this scene reminds me of how ridiculous Tony's jealousy is.

***

Tony walked into the common area of the compound. He actually didn't bother to visit often after the Ultron mess. Usually he only stopped by on days like this, when he had important news.

He frowned as he saw Cap and Widow laughing together as they entered from the gym area, tank tops sweaty and towels around their necks. He said, "Taking the business casual extra casual today?"

As the two stopped laughing and turned to him, Tony felt the usual burn of envy in his gut. Cap was shining under the lights, perfect and golden with that beautiful smile that didn't need years of braces and veneers. And Widow never stood that close to TONY or shared smiles and laughs like that. As if she had to bask in all of the EVERYTHING that Cap was putting out.

Well, Tony would show HIM. Tony said, "Just dropping off another award for my trophy room."

He'd had a room specially built, with cases for his plaques and trophies. The shelves all lit up when anyone walked by. The room was the hub for a few important corridors, so a LOT of people walked by and gazed on all of Tony Stark's greatness.

Cap said, "That's great, Tony. Glad to hear things are going so well for you."

Tony gritted his teeth at Captain Sincerity's perfect blinding smile. Tony said, "Yeah, there was a banquet. In Paris. At the Eiffel Tower." He didn't mention that he'd paid for the change of venue himself because he wanted an appropriate setting for his latest moment of glory.

"That must have been a great view," Cap said as he poured two glasses of water and passed one to Widow.

Widow took the drink but kept her gaze on Tony. Tony swore she was laughing at him behind that blank stare. Tony said, "I got Pepper an original Vera Wang for the occasion. Can't let my girlfriend show up in last week's fashions."

Cap took a few swallows, then said, "I'm sure she looked amazing--and enjoyed visiting the City of Lights."

Tony clenched his fists and said, "It was no problem jetting over for the evening--the stock jumped a few points last week so I've got a few extra million laying around." Of course he didn't share a dime with any of the Avengers. He wouldn't be able to write that off the way he could the expenses for the compound.

Cap set his empty glass down and said, "I guess your employees are doing a really great job. I hope they know how much you appreciate their efforts."

Tony spun on his heel and fled Captain Perfect Gentleman and Widow Wipe that Smirk Off Your Face. He knew they were laughing at him behind his back.

At least, Widow was. Mr. Rogers probably just said Bye Neighbor and got on with his stupid routine with his stupid friends and stupid teammates who looked up to him like he wasn't just...stupid.

Chapter 54: Tony approved of (and probably pirated) Project Insight

Let's face it: Tony never cared about anyone's right to privacy. (Except his own, of course. He always hides his crimes and hypocrisy.) He hacks whoever he wants, whenever he wants. His crowning achievement is EDITH, which spies on everyone, everywhere and fires missiles at children.

So it's no surprise that Tony approved of Project Insight. After all, EDITH is his own private version of it.

What if someone noticed?

Note: Cameron Klein is the Shield tech who refused to launch Project Insight even with a gun to his head, per "Captain's orders." Set before Age of Ultron.

***

The aftermath of finding Hydra in Shield wasn't pretty. Even months later, there was still a LOT of cleanup to do. Cameron Klein was part of the team going through the Project Insight files, trying to figure out when and how Hydra got control.

He frowned as he read through the meeting agendas and notes. Apparently Tony Stark had been a consultant on Project Insight. It had taken several visits for Stark to get the information he needed to convert the propeller system to giant repulsors.

Cam knew about Stark's hacking of the Shield helicarrier before the Chitauri invasion a few years ago. A bunch of techs got their asses chewed out by Fury himself. Everything was supposed to be tightened up then.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to check. Cam pulled up the surveillance and system integrity files for the days of Stark's visits.

What he saw were some very suspicious gaps. Cam frowned and pulled up a friend's secret watchdog program. He sighed as he waited for the results, remembering how many of his colleagues died during the Strike Team's rampage.

Apparently this little program didn't have any gaps in the timeline. Cam stared as he watched Tony Stark stand on Fury's blind side to place a mini-device like they'd later found on the original helicarrier. A few days later, Cam watched footage of an enormous file being copied during Stark's visit.

Cam felt sick as he read the contents--Stark had hacked the spying software and location algorithm. Iron Man had stolen Project Insight, and could probably load the program on any of his own drones, robots, or satellites.

He sat back and wondered what to do. What Captain Rogers would do. Then he quickly downloaded the evidence before running a purge that would hopefully make sure Stark was completely gone from the system.

***

Sharon Carter frowned as she put down the tablet Cam had handed her. She asked, "Is this for real?"

Cam nodded and said, "Every second of it. We both know how close we came to a massacre that day in DC. And now Tony Stark has hold of Insight. Who knows what he'll do with it."

As Sharon nodded, Cam ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't know what to do. Normally I'd report this to Fury, but he's..."

Sharon said, "Yeah. But everybody knew that if Fury wasn't around, go straight to Hill."

As she leaned back in her chair with a grin, she continued, "And guess where SHE landed."

***

Cam, Sharon, and Maria Hill took a little stroll through Tony's files. They weren't able to remove them--they were able to hide small changes from an overworked JARVIS, but outright deletions would have definitely set off alarms. It would be enough to prevent Tony Stark from creating semi-autonomous robots, and created a failsafe that would lock Stark's AI into its own systems if necessary. And provide proof of Stark's theft and use of the Project Insight program.

When Tony started converting Project Insight into Ultron, the failsafes kicked in. When he and Bruce tried to use the scepter to upload the Ultron program, what they got instead was locked into their lab, the internet completely cut off, and all their screens displaying Tony's hacking of Shield and his duplication of Project Insight.

The Avengers assembled with Maria Hill, Nick Fury, and a resurrected Phil Coulson to block Tony from ever working on any projects like that again.

Maria made sure Sharon and Cam were there as Tony was quietly carted away to be held without bail--and technology--for some very serious crimes.

Cam didn't know that he'd prevented Ultron, the Sokovia Accords, the split of the Avengers, or any of Tony's crimes. But Cam was actually a hero who set this universe on a much safer--and less destructive--path.

At least he got a sincere thank you and handshake from Steve Rogers. Who was even more impressive than Captain America.

Chapter 55: Rhodey is more than Tony's clone or prop

In America, it's Black History Month. So it seems in really poor taste for someone to be posting a story where Rhodey is nothing more than a prop to "avenge" Tony for the "betrayals he suffered" in Civil War. (The prelude even references a Sidney Poitier film, where Poitier's character has to struggle with a lack of respect. Talk about not recognizing irony or hypocrisy.)

Rhodey is in his 50s. He's always been more mature and serious than Tony, and at times has resented his babysitter role. He has struggles of his own and opinions of his own. He wouldn't parrot everything Tony says, does, or believes. The idea that Rhodey would learn Spider-Man is a child and say nothing about it to Tony, but also mouth off to Thaddeus Ross in a flippant way that is pure Tony, is a disservice to Rhodey's character. Then the series has Rhodey spend his time gathering a group of people who would NEVER sign the Accords or be Team Iron Man to willingly harm his former teammates. Rhodey had no problem welcoming Team Cap back to the compound and eventually rejected the Accords. Why not treat Rhodey with the respect he deserves?

Note: The characters in the meeting are some of the ones mentioned in the original prop-Tony story.

***

Rhodey watched as the strange assortment of people started entering the safehouse. It was kind of...gratifying, to know these people trusted him enough to come just on his promise that Tony and Ross wouldn't know anything about it.

He still wasn't sure how to feel about Vision being the one who helped him make the arrangements. He was still dealing with how to be in the same room as the android. But this was a good first step to some kind of closure.

Ben Grimm settled his rocky form against a wall, careful not to knock against anyone or anything. Wolverine, Jessica Jones, and Yelena Belova also stayed on their feet as they looked warily around the room.

Everyone else found seats. It made Rhodey proud to see the strong women from Wakanda--Princess Shuri and the warriors Okoye and Ayo. He'd been shocked to learn that their tech far outstripped anything Tony had come up with. Professor X looked satisfied with whatever he was hearing in the room, but Betty Ross looked unsure of her welcome.

Then he saw the Spider Kid slip in and hang from the ceiling. God, Spider CHILD. Finding out that Tony had created a child soldier--an unregistered enhanced, no less--had been the last straw. Tony told Rhodey that if Ross found out about the kid, Rhodey could just tell Ross the Spider wasn't going to be part of the Accords.

Maybe Tony Stark could get away with that, but Colonel James Rhodes could not. It would have cost him his military career, and maybe landed him in trouble with the Accords.

That possibility had made Rhodey read the Accords more carefully. And realize what could really happen to people in a worst-case scenario.

When everyone settled in, Rhodey said, "Thank you for coming today. I know it was odd to hear from a complete stranger asking you to come to a secret meeting."

Yelena Belova shrugged and said, "Not complete stranger. You are on the news and the Youtube, standing next to the capitalist poser Stark."

Jessica Jones crossed her arms and said, "Have to say, I was expecting to be jumped. Aren't you and your good buddy in love with the Sokovia Accords? Because they are as horrible as everyone says. People disappear--and they never come back."

She looked straight and Rhodey and continued, "So I came for the fight--or to find out what changed your mind."

Rhodey glanced at the Spider Kid, then said, "When something goes south, I look at how and why. And when I'm wrong, I admit it. I thought the Accords would prevent damage and harm, but it looks like they just let people like Ross pursue their own agendas."

He glanced at Betty Ross. She nodded and said, "My father is obsessed with power and control. He's already ruined enough lives. I don't want to see him use the Accords to ruin more."

Ayo asked, "So what do you propose we do about it?"

Rhodey took a deep breath and said, "I'm thinking covert op, all the way. With a dual mission: Keep the world as safe as we can, and keep enhanced beings safe from the Accords."

He leaned forward and said, "I have some phone numbers for all of you. Vision is going to prevent anyone from noticing them if your phones get hacked, but please be as careful as you can. Everyone on the list is at risk, one way or another."

Then Rhodey looked at Betty Ross and said, "I hate to ask you this, but we need someone on the inside. Is there any chance you could let things thaw between your father and you? You may happen to hear something that could be important."

Betty grimaced, but said, "I think I can pretend my father is not a pile of slime for a few hours a month."

Professor X said, "Although I dislike the necessity, I am also willing to keep an ear open for certain kinds of talk."

Princess Shuri said, "I think Wakanda can be a lot of help too. We have ways of finding things out, and keeping things hidden."

Ben Grimm said, "Some of us could really use that kind of help."

Wolverine stepped forward and asked, "What about Stark?"

Okoye nodded regally and said, "I am also concerned--your loyalties have always been to Stark and your government. Where do they now rest?"

Rhodey looked down at his lap. The braces Tony made for him hummed with a quiet power. He was sad that he'd had to have Vision sweep the devices for trackers and bugs--and found some.

He said, "Tony is still my friend. And I still believe that some kind of oversight may help. But I've seen first-hand how the people in charge are willing to ignore the rules. And use the Sokovia Accords to achieve their own ends."

With a last glance at the Spider Kid, Rhodey concluded, "I will never tell Tony about any of this--or any of you."

***

This universe had a strong, united front against the Black Order and Thanos. The Snap never happened. And that united front also helped abolish the Sokovia Accords and expose Ross's criminal actions.

Unfortunately, they exposed Tony's criminal actions as well. Rhodey stood by his friend and visited him in prison, but couldn't help thinking that Tony finally got what he deserved.

Chapter 56: Tony designed the sound weapons used against Hulk at Culver University

According to the MCU wiki, Tony provided the weapons used to torment and capture the Hulk in the Hulk film. And apparently there are no safeguards on the devices, because they can be set to a beam focused enough to knock the Hulk off his feet. Imagine what that would do if used for "crowd control." What if Bruce found out?

Note: Set at the end of Iron Man 3.

***

Tony finished his tale of woe--Pepper being upset at TONY when she woke up to find a suit aiming a repulsor at her. That Maya chick not looking like she wanted another round in the sheets with Tony. The Mandarin being SO MEAN as to take out the building Tony goaded the villain into attacking. The pussy kid having only a TUNA SALAD SANDWICH to offer for dinner. Rhodey and Pepper being the ones to save the day and hog the glory. Really, Tony was barely able to comfort himself with his multi-billions and being free of the arc reactor.

He looked over to see how weepy Bruce would be, hearing all that Tony suffered. Tony frowned as he saw Bruce sitting very still in a chair, fists clenched and a hint of green in his eyes.

Tony said, "Uh, got a problem there, Kermit?"

Bruce took a deep breath and said, "Yeah. Before you invited yourself in here to steal my couch and my time, I was waiting to talk to you."

He stood up and moved over to Tony. With Tony laying down, Bruce's shadow felt as big as the Hulk's as Bruce said, "While I was doing some research, I found some interesting notes about a Stark Industries product. A sonic cannon. Maybe you've heard of it? Seeing how you designed it and sold it to THADDEUS ROSS."

Tony sat up and said, "Whoa, Big Guy--that was not my fault! I didn't know Ross was going to try to use my SuperSoaker Sound Wave Maker on the not-so-jolly green giant!"

Bruce seemed to grow bigger as he snarled, "That's not the point! You DESIGNED that thing to deliver a blast so powerful it knocked the Other Guy off his feet. Why the hell would you put a setting like that--with no safeguards at all--into a device marketed for CROWD CONTROL?"

He took another deep breath and asked, "Do you not understand how much damage that could cause? Or do you just not care because it will never be pointed at YOU?"

Tony stood up as he watched Bruce take quick steps toward the door. As Tony started to follow, he froze as Bruce turned and said, "Do NOT come near me. Do NOT contact me. I can't believe I ever thought we were more than colleagues. We have NOTHING in common."

***

Later, Tony used a surveillance camera to watch Widow pull up to the building in a VERY nice sports car. Bruce tossed his bag in the tiny trunk, then buckled himself into the seat with a grim look. But whatever Widow said to Bruce made the guy smile wider than Tony had ever seen.

As the pair roared off down the road, Tony wondered if he'd ever see his Science Bro again.

He didn't. Or any of the other Avengers either. Ingrates.

Chapter 57: May Parker never knew Peter left the country

A lot of prop-Tony folks try to claim that May thinking Peter had a Stark internship equals May agreeing to Peter being smuggled into Germany to be Tony's child soldier. But that's impossible, because May didn't know Peter was going overseas. Peter didn't have a passport, so the trip wasn't legal. Tony said he'd tell "Aunt Hottie" he was taking Peter on a "field trip"--nothing about overseas travel (or turning Peter into a child soldier). And when May notices Peter's injury, Peter says he got it figting with Steve from Brooklyn. May would have found that strange if May knew Peter was overseas.

What would happen if May figured it out?

Note: Set between Civil War and Homecoming.

***

Tony should have known from the disappointed look on Pepper's face when she called him into her office. Then again, Pepper ALWAYS looked disappointed in him.

He said, "Finally come to your senses, Pep? I won't make you grovel too long, even though I know how good you look on your knees."

As he walked up to the desk, he froze when he saw Aunt Hottie sitting on the sofa on the far side of the room. He said, "Oh, uh, hey there."

Pepper stood up and walked over to Aunt Hottie. As she sat down on a chair, she said, "I believe you've already met?"

Tony started to sweat as he sat in the other chair. He said, "Yeah, we met at--while I--during the thing..."

Both Pepper and Aunt Hottie lifted an eyebrow. Geez, they looked like twins.

Pepper said, "You mean, during the thing where you lied to Ms. Parker?"

When Tony didn't reply, Pepper continued, "Ms. Parker was considerate enough to request a meeting with me before filing her lawsuit against Stark Industries."

Tony sat up and said, "Lawsuit? What the hell."

Aunt Hottie glared at Tony and said, "My nephew came home INJURED. How did Peter get injured on a Stark Industries 'field trip' with you?"

Tony shifted in his seat. He couldn't even ask Friday to play back the recording of what these two had already talked about. He said, "He, um, we just spent some time in the lab. He must have bumped into something."

Pepper asked, "And when exactly was that, Tony? Given that you were in Germany, and then completely off the radar for a significant amount of time. You definitely weren't in ANY of your labs."

Tony's mind blanked. He just stared at them, until finally Aunt Hottie said, "Until I saw Peter was injured, I never thought to question where this field trip was. I figured it was somewhere in your company."

Then she glared as she continued, "I never guessed you could have taken Peter to Germany. Because Peter doesn't have a passport. Because he is a 14-year-old CHILD."

Pepper folded her hands and said, "You've exposed Stark Industries to serious liability, Tony. There's no record of Peter applying for anything at SI, much less an internship program. He wouldn't even be eligible to apply until he was 16."

Tony folded his arms and said to Aunt Hottie, "Sounds like you figured everything out. So you must have figured out that you should keep your mouth shut. Because you saying ANYTHING means exposing the Spider Kid to some serious consequences--including the Sokovia Accords."

The gasp above Tony made him look up. To see the Spider Kid hanging from the ceiling, then swinging down to the floor.

The kid turned his back on Tony. Instead the kid said, "May, Ms. Potts, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. I never thought--well, maybe I did a little, after Mr. Stark just dumped me and didn't answer ANY of my phone calls."

Then the kid turned and said to Tony, "But I NEVER thought he'd throw me under the bus to save his own skin. Or maybe it's just his billions he's afraid of losing."

Pepper looked at Tony and said, "There's a confidential agreement on my desk that you're going to sign. It gives Spider-Man sole ownership of the suit he's wearing and its technology. It forbids you from ANY contact with either Jane or John Doe here. Violation of this agreement is going to result in some serious charges against you, Tony. And a major lawsuit against your personal assets, after I prove that you lied about the internship and Stark Industries' involvement in your crimes."

Suddenly the Karen AI said, "This suit is bugged and has a tracker on it. Just so you know."

Now Tony was getting disappointed looks from three people. Of course, he couldn't see the Spider-Kid's face, but Tony thought that was probably a good thing.

***

Peter wanted nothing to do with Tony, so when Dr. Strange was rescued, Peter was very vocal about how believing Mr. Stark was ALWAYS a bad idea. So Dr. Strange, the Time Stone, and Spider-Man stayed on Earth. THAT was a good idea.

Chapter 58: Olivia Benson would want nothing to do with Tony Stark

Wow, the prop-Tony pairings just keep getting weirder. This time Olivia Benson from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is stuck being Tony's secret wife. As if a woman who spent her career helping victims of sexual predators would have any interest in a man who makes multiple rape jokes and tries to force himself on his employees.

This one also makes Peter Parker Tony's biological child, and has Tony form a new team out of the Defenders, Nebula, Dr. Strange, Yelena Belova, and other heroes who would want nothing to do with Tony OR the Accords.

How would Olivia Benson REALLY react to Tony?

Note: Set after Avengers 1.

***

Detective Olivia Benson adjusted her shawl and sighed as she took another sip of her wine. She said, "It's kind of disappointing how the Chardonnay at a Tony Stark event seems to be the same brand the NYPD uses for their fundraisers."

Captain Donald Cragen said, "I heard the Scotch is half-decent, if that's any consolation."

Olivia chuckled and said, "Now he tells me."

Cragen shrugged and said, "Thanks for coming. I feel out of place here. SVU didn't really have much to do with saving New York from the Chitauri."

Olivia replied, "I guess the Avengers didn't want anyone to feel left out."

Cragen nodded and said, "I'm going to get a refill. How about you?"

Olivia shook her head and said, "No thanks, I'm fine."

As Olivia watched the crowd, she suddenly had the sense of being watched. She turned and saw Tony Stark himself eyeing her from a few feet away.

When he approached, she pasted on the polite smile that she always used with the brass. She said, "Hello, Mr. Stark. Nice party."

Stark smirked at her and replied, "Nice dress, at least what I can see of it."

He leaned closer and said, "A little bird told me you aren't impressed with the wine? I'm disappointed, because you're the kind of woman I always like to impress."

Olivia moved so she wasn't being crowded by Stark. She held her glass in front of her to provide some distance. She said, "Do you read lips? I didn't know we were that loud."

Stark shrugged and said, "I know EVERYTHING that happens around me. It's one of the benefits of being me."

He shifted closer again and said, "So...Detective Benson, or can I call you Olivia? What do you say to finding something far more satisfying upstairs in my suite? I'm slumming here at the hotel for a few days while supervising repairs to my tower."

Olivia frowned. She wanted to ask where and how Stark got her name, but instead she decided to just try to get away as soon as possible. She asked, "I thought you and your CEO were an item?"

Stark wiggled his fingers and eyebrows at her and said, "No strings on me. Pep dropped in for a day or two and then abandoned me for her business meetings. I figured you could console me in my hour of need."

Reminding herself this was a work function and Stark wasn't a suspect YET, Olivia shook her head and said, "Thank you for the offer, Mr. Stark, but I have other plans."

The other plans were to go home and take a shower, but that wasn't any of Stark's business.

Stark gave a disappointed look and said, "Maybe another time."

As he turned away to head toward another woman, he looked back at Olivia and said, "I'll be in touch!"

***

The next day, Olivia mentioned to her team what a creep Stark was. So none of them were surprised when a short time later, they heard rumors of payouts to avoid lawsuits and how quite a few employees were leaving Stark Industries because of unwanted attention from its owner.

Olivia and Alexandra Cabot unofficially consulted for the civil suit that cost Stark quite a lot of money. Between the lawsuit and Pepper Potts ending her relationship with Stark, Olivia hoped Stark learned his lesson on how to respect women.

But she doubted it.

Chapter 59: No one ever told Tony he's useless outside of the suit

Prompts like this make me wonder how immature some prop-Tony writers are. Tony "gets fed up of being told how he's useless outside of the suit." It's like something you'd hear on a playground. When exactly was that supposed to happen? When Steve and Natasha were off working for Shield? When the team was successfully taking down Hydra bases? When Bruce and Thor were on some other planet? After Tony retired the first time? During Civil War? When Tony retired the second time while the world was in chaos? And which Avenger would even bother thinking that much about Tony? It's pretty obvious the Avengers all have better things to do.

Note: Set after Ultron.

***

Rhodey, Vision, Sam, Steve, Wanda, and Natasha were chatting in the lounge of the compound when Tony burst through the doors. Tony shouted, "I know what you're all saying about me!"

Everyone looked at each other. Then Steve said, "Hi Tony. We weren't expecting you."

Natasha said, "And we have no idea what you're talking about."

Tony crossed his arms and glared at them. He said, "You all think I'm just a gearhead. That I'm useless outside of the suit."

After another round of confused looks, Steve said, "You were asked to work with Bruce to help find Loki's scepter. In the lab. Why would anyone say you had no use outside the suit?"

Rhodey asked, "Tony, who do you think said that?"

Tony shifted and said, "Well, I, uh...it's like this..."

Sam leaned forward and asked, "And how would you have heard about it? I've never even seen you here before."

Wanda looked upset as she asked, "Are you spying on us?"

She turned to Vision and asked, "Viz, are YOU spying on us for him?"

Vision answered, "No, I do not monitor conversations I am not engaged in."

Steve said, "Tony, we're going to review privacy requirements. But right now, we'd like to know why you're accusing us of talking about you behind your back."

Tony said, "I told you. I KNOW."

Vision asked, "Friday, are your systems recording or monitoring conversations on the comms or at the compound?"

Friday replied, "Audio and visual monitoring settings are at default. All activity is recorded. Any mention of Tony, Stark, or Iron Man is reported."

Natasha stood up and said, "Play the most recent mentions."

Suddenly there was a sound of banging and swearing. Then Tony's voice saying, "How DARE they. I know they're all talking about me, behind my back. Saying Tony Stark is nothing without the Iron Man suit. Well I'll show THEM."

Everyone listened as Friday played five recordings. All of them were Tony...talking about himself to himself.

Tony glared at everyone and said, "You're all against me."

Rhodey stood up and said, "Tony, I think maybe we should call Pepper."

As he led Tony away, Wanda frowned and said, "I don't know if I want to stay anymore. I am no longer comfortable--it no longer feels like home."

Steve stood up and said, "Maybe a change of scenery would do us all some good."

Natasha nodded and said, "I'll call Clint and Laura. I'm sure they'll exchange room and board for babysitting and help with the farm."

Vision said, "I will confirm Friday's settings. Nothing is supposed to be recorded that is not official business."

Wanda held Vision's hand and said, "AFTER we get back. You're coming on the road trip too."

***

The road trip and other outings brought this team closer together. When the Sokovia Accords were presented, the Avengers agreed to retire until there was a document they could sign. With no heroes signing, the U.N. was forced to scrap the Sokovia Accords and negotiate a new agreement that focused on oversight, not control, and respected the rights of all beings.

Fortunately, Tony was still under psychological care and media blackout. By the time he was better, Bucky Barnes had been safely brought in and Zemo's plans foiled.

Thanos was no match for this completely united team.

Chapter 60: Tony left Rhodey unprotected in Iron Man 3

Tony had dozens of suits available in the final battle. Yet he didn't spare even one to guard Rhodey's back. Instead, a drone drops Rhodey off and goes to fly around aimlessly it seems. So Rhodey has to face a bunch of Extremis Soldiers with zero support. And is hanging onto some compromised structures during combat, where he could have easily lost his one-handed grip.

***

Rhodey stood at a railing in Stark Tower. He was still recovering from the battle with the Extremis Soldiers. And he was exhausted mentally as well as physically.

He looked over to see Tony stop beside him. Tony said, "Hey Platypus."

Rhodey frowned at the nickname, but he asked, "How is Pepper?"

He wondered how Pepper was dealing with the fact that she'd had to kill again to protect Tony after Tony put her in danger.

Tony shrugged and said, "She'll be fine."

Rhodey asked, "How are you?"

Tony shrugged again and said, "I'll be fine."

Rhodey nodded and said, "I'm not sure I will be."

When Tony frowned and looked over, Rhodey asked, "Just how many suits did you have in that battle? 20? 40?"

Tony looked away and said, "Uh, something like that."

Rhodey shook his head and said, "Yeah, you had dozens of suits flying around. DOZENS. And yet you couldn't spare even one to guard my back?"

He crossed his arms as he continued, "You didn't even think for one second, hey, it's kind of dangerous here with all the shooting and fire and all. Let me send ONE of my armored flying weapons to maybe protect my friend who's stuck by me for YEARS even though I'm a jackass to him more than half the time."

Tony didn't look at Rhodey. He also didn't answer.

Rhodey shook his head and walked away. Right now, he wasn't sure how long it would be before he spoke to Tony again. Or how long it would take before he even wanted to.

Chapter 61: There is no "Tony defense squad" angry at what happened in Siberia because Tony hid his crimes

The fic that inspired this had so little logic to it I felt sorry for the prop-Tony writer. Apparently Tony is a whimpering, shattered wreck who had to be rescued from Siberia. Harley is Tony's adopted son and a member of Peter's crew, the Barton kids moved in with Tony, and everyone stages a media campaign to make the world hate Team Cap.

The writer is so focused on propping Tony they apparently forgot that if Tony actually told anyone that he was even IN Siberia, they'd know he was a lying, criminal hypocrite who doesn't hold himself accountable for his Accords violations after preaching about accountability. (Plus they ignore that Tony was fine after Siberia, making lewd remarks about May Parker and being appropriately called "Tony Stank." And that Tony put the Barton kids in danger.)

What would happen if this "defense squad" actually found out about Tony's crimes?

***

Harley Keener looked around the Stark Tower conference room. He'd never been to New York before. He hadn't even heard from Stark since he'd blasted out of Harley's life years ago.

There were some other teens in the room. Two guys--Peter and Ned--and a girl named MJ.

After a quick talk they realized the only one who knew Stark was Peter, and he wouldn't answer any questions.

Then a door opened and Colonel James "War Machine" Rhodes walked in with the Vision, Pepper Potts, and some balding guy with glasses and a briefcase.

All of the adults looked confused, which made Harley feel better.

Suddenly the doors flung open and Tony Stark came in. He looked around and said, "Too bad the Barton kids couldn't make it so I could be their beloved Uncle Tony. But I guess they're in hiding after I exposed Birdbrain's family to Thaddeus Ross or something."

He rubbed his hands and said, "Welcome to the Tony Stark Defense Squad."

Everyone looked at each other. Pepper Potts asked, "What exactly are we defending you against, Tony?"

Tony looked offended as he said, "The Rogue Avengers, of course. The president is a Cap fanboy so he's going to pardon all of them and invite them back to live on MY property using MY funds. It will cause me to fall into an emotional spiral that YOU must all save me from."

Everyone looked at each other again. Colonel Rhodes asked, "Why should it bother you if Cap and the others come back? We could be a team again."

Tony waved his arms dramatically and said, "Because I am physically and emotionally SCARRED from Siberia. Even though I was wearing the Iron Man suit--which has been hit by missiles and not even dented--Cap punching me a few times and destroying the arc reactor has INJURED me severely. And then that jerk and his robo-buddy ABANDONED me in Siberia. Left me to die, surrounded by working Hydra technology, a snowmobile, and maybe T'Challa's jet. I could have DIED!"

The Peter kid asked, "When did this happen? Because you seemed fine when we shared a limo the day after the trip to...uh, somewhere."

Rhodes said, "You were working on my braces before the bruises from the airport even started to fade. What's the timeline here?"

Stark looked shifty as he said, "Uh, between the airport and the limo and braces."

The guy in glasses said, "I want to make sure I understand. You apparently flew to Siberia without U.N. approval of a mission, in violation of multiple countries' airspace AND the terms and conditions of the Sokovia Accords? The Accords YOU voluntarily signed and agreed to abide by?"

Vision frowned and said, "These events make you seem very hypocritical. You claimed we needed to be put in check, and that you were for oversight whatever form it came in. And you signed the Accords. Yet you also violated the Accords, then did not reveal that you had done so. If historical records are correct, when Steve Rogers violated Army orders to rescue the POWs at Azzano, he later submitted himself for discipline. HE took accountability for his actions. Why didn't you?"

Stark shrugged and said, "Because Ross would have arrested me, of course."

MJ clenched her fists and said, "Parker, I like you and all but I will NOT help this capitalist loser hide his crimes."

Ned nodded and said, "Sorry Peter, I'm with MJ on this."

Peter looked sad as he said, "I looked up to you, Mr. Stark. I guess I didn't know what you were really like."

Harley said to Peter, "I know what you mean. I'm new in town. My bus doesn't leave for a few hours. Maybe want to show me around before I go home?"

The kids all nodded. Harley said, "Cool." Then he turned to Stark and said, "Don't call me again."

As they turned to leave, Harley heard the Accords guy say, "Representatives will be here shortly to arrest you, Mr. Stark. I suggest you don't try to escape."

Vision said, "I will keep him here to face the consequences of his actions."

As he left the building, Harley wondered if the president really WAS a Cap fanboy.

Chapter 62: Tony dumped Nebula after he was done with her

Tony seems to have a pattern. He needs help, gets help from someone who's not an employee, and then dumps that person after he's gotten what he wanted. He did it with Harley and Peter. And he did it with Nebula. After all the head canons about how Tony adopted Nebula (a fully grown adult), the reality is that after Tony stepped off the Guardians' ship, he didn't talk to or about Nebula again. And Nebula seemed to have a much deeper connection with Rhodey than Tony.

***

After Tony Stark's funeral, Nebula spent time with Rocket, Groot, and the other Guardians. Now she sat by the lake and watched the sun go down. It was a pretty world.

The familiar hum of machinery warned her of Rhodes' approach. He sat down beside her and said, "It's nice here, isn't it?"

Nebula nodded and said, "It is pleasing, but the lack of mechanical structures is disturbing."

Rhodes nodded and said, "I can see why you might think that."

Nebula looked at the man who accompanied her on the mission to retrieve the Orb. She said, "I have a question."

Rhodes shifted on his seat to look at her and waited.

Nebula frowned and said, "For a long time, I did not feel. Or, I tried not to feel. That made it easier to survive."

She continued, "When I reconnected--or maybe, connected for the first time--with my sister, it was strange for me. Then I came to know the others on her ship."

Rhodes said, "Sounds like that was good, but scary."

Nebula nodded and said, "Yes. And when my fath--when Thanos snapped, I grieved the loss of Quill and the others. On the journey from Titan, I thought perhaps I had formed a connection with Stark. I made sure he had nourishment and hydration, and that his wounds were tended. We played a game with a folded paper."

She frowned and said, "And after Captain Marvel saved us, I was grateful because that meant Stark would not also die. Because I thought Stark and I were connected. But it seems he did not agree."

Rhodes reached up a hand, then let it drop. He stayed silent.

Nebula continued, "He walked away from the ship...and me. He did not ask if I recovered or how I was. He did not ask for a means to stay in contact, as Natasha and Steve did. And Stark did not once speak to me while we were all together."

She looked at Rhodes and said, "When you and I were on our mission, I again felt a connection. But much deeper than that with Stark, despite the small amount of time we spent together."

Nebula shifted to look directly at Rhodes and said, "I grieve the loss of Natasha. We also lost Stark, but I do not grieve. And I do not know what that means."

Rhodes sighed and said, "I understand how you feel. Tony...kind of checked out, after the Snap. He went off and did his thing, focused on Pepper and Morgan. He...used to forget what he didn't focus on."

Nebula reached out and laid a hand on Rhodes. She said, "If you had been lost in this battle I would have grieved you as well."

Rhodes shifted a little closer and said, "Make sure you tell me how to keep in contact, before you guys blast off on your new adventures. I'll want to hear about them."

The two sat together by the lake until the moon rose.

Chapter 63: Clint would never turn on Team Cap

The way prop-Tony writers treat the Bartons is sad. They are victims of Tony's pettiness, but prop-Tony writers pretend Laura had no clue what Clint was doing and would divorce him. Or worse, that Clint would suddenly side with the man who betrayed Clint's trust by exposing the family kept secret from everyone in Shield except Nick and Natasha.

Note: Clint's remark in Civil War about breaking backs is crude. It may have been in reaction to seeing Tony shoot an unarmed Sam so hard that Tony flipped Sam onto his neck. Sam could have ended up paralyzed as well, but Tony would have done it deliberately. Or because Clint was upset. You know, like Tony is when he gets excused for attempted murder.

***

When Clint heard Natasha's plan, he laughed out loud. Then he said, "THAT'S your cunning plan? There's no way Tony's going to fall for it."

Natasha shrugged and said, "According to Vision, Tony already has. He thinks you've seen the light and now understand that Tony was correct all along."

Clint said, "So Tony thinks I now agree it's okay to lock people up without lawyers or trials in an underwater prison? Did he SEE what they did to Wanda?"

Natasha frowned and said, "Yes, he did. He didn't think it was a big deal."

Clint shook his head and said, "And Tony really believes that I would just forget that he exposed Laura and the kids to Thaddeus Ross? After we stuck our necks out to give you guys a place to hide from Ultron?"

Natasha said, "I think Tony's so focused on 'winning' against Steve that he would believe anything that would make that happen."

The archer looked around the safehouse and asked, "What do I get out of it?"

Natasha put her hand on Clint's shoulder and said, "Two years of house arrest. At the farm. You'll all be safe."

Clint thought about it, then asked, "And the others?"

Natasha replied, "Lang will make the same deal. I'll feed both of you some false information that Vision will confirm, so Ross and Tony will THINK they are on our trail."

Then Natasha frowned and said, "Sam, Wanda, Steve, and I--we're going to stay in the wind. There's no way we can let Ross and Tony get their hands on Wanda again."

Clint sighed and said, "I'll talk about it with Laura. She and I will both need to practice not ripping Tony's face off if he comes near. Because you know I'll do it in a heartbeat."

Natasha grinned and said, "I know--and Laura would do even worse."

Chapter 64: Tony was never without a family

This claim is bizarre: Tony allowed himself to be betrayed because he never had a family. Tony's had more family than most of the characters of the MCU. He had his parents for 21 years, had Jarvis growing up, never lost Rhodey or Happy, and had Pepper and Morgan. Not to mention the Avengers were always nicer to Tony than he ever was to them.

The other strange thing is this idea that Tony allowed himself to be betrayed. What does that even mean? Tony ignored his responsibilites as a weapons manufacturer and CEO not because he didn't want to lose Obadiah Stane, but because Tony didn't care. Nobody else actually betrayed Tony. Refusing to sign away one's rights or defending an innocent man from cold-blooded murder are not betrayals.

***

Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey greeted Tony as he entered the office.

Tony plopped himself on the sofa and asked, "So what's the emergency?"

Pepper looked at the others and said, "It's not an emergency so much as a situation."

Happy nodded and said, "We'd really like to clear this up."

Rhodey sat next to Tony and said, "There has been a really weird rumor floating around, and we'd like to get your take on it."

Tony sat back and said, "Okay, shoot."

Happy frowned and said, "Well, it's like this. You did some pretty stupid stuff in a lot of situations. You know, ignoring your job as CEO for 20 years..."

Rhodey said, "Firing weapons into a crowded room..."

Pepper said, "Not telling anyone about using a piece of alien technology to upload your Ultron program to the internet."

Rhodey nodded and said, "Not telling anyone you decided to bring a kid into a superhero battle, or signing the Accords and then breaking them the very next day."

Tony crossed his arms and said, "What exactly is this all about?"

Pepper said, "Some folks don't like to admit that sometimes you do stupid or reckless things. So they're trying to excuse you by saying you allow yourself to be betrayed because you never had a family."

Tony blinked and said, "What?"

Rhodey nodded and said, "Yeah, it doesn't make sense to us either. I mean, you actually your parents until you were 21, and Jarvis for at least part of that time. Maybe his wife Ana too."

Happy nodded and said, "And the Colonel and me, we've been with you the whole time--as much as you let anyone be with you, of course."

Pepper sighed and said, "And I've stuck around for a lot longer than I reasonably should have, given how many times I've had to kill or almost died because of you. And the Avengers forgave you for a lot of things even I wouldn't have."

Rhodey said, "But apparently none of that counts. And none of us matter. So Tony, do you really think you're some poor little orphan who never has anyone in your corner? And do you really think anyone other than Obadiah has actually 'betrayed' you? 'Cause I was in the Accords discussion, and the only way you can see someone not signing as a betrayal is if you actual wrote the damn things. And considering all the human rights violations in them, that is not a good look for you."

Tony groaned and looked at the ceiling. Then he looked at his friends and said, "I have no clue what they are talking about. If actual blood relations and people who've killed and almost died for you don't count, then nobody on the planet has family."

He stood up and said, "Come on, guys. Let's go get dinner and use the friends and family discount."

Chapter 65: Tony was never the 1st Avenger

I really don't understand why some prop-Tony folks are so insistent that Tony was the first Avenger. His movie came out first, but Hollywood isn't the actual canon universe. Steve was first chronologically (followed by Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel). Wanda or Captain Marvel is probably the strongest. Shuri is the smartest. About the only time Tony wins first place is if we're ranking who's the most problematic...

***

Tony frowned as the same old man dropped off another delivery for "Tony Stank." He hadn't ordered anything.

Then he opened the box and found a trophy that had #1 on the front. He set it on the table and called Rhodey in.

When Rhodey walked in, Tony gestured at the trophy and said, "Look. Someone has recognized my perfection."

Rhodey was looking in the box that the trophy came in. He fished out an envelope and opened it. As he read, he looked surprised. Then he folded it up and said, "They definitely have your number."

Tony frowned at Rhodey's odd tone. He snatched up the letter and opened it. It had AVENGER AWARDS across the top. Tony smirked and said, "I KNEW I'd beat Cap."

Then Tony's jaw dropped as he read the categories he'd "won":

First Place - MOST ANNOYING AVENGER
First Place - MOST ARROGANT AVENGER
First Place - MOST INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS
First Place - MOST RECKLESS ACTIONS
First Place - MOST LIKELY TO LIE TO AVOID THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS
First Place - MOST LIKELY TO EXPLOIT A MINOR
First Place - MOST DAMAGE CAUSED
First Place - MOST DEATHS CAUSED
First Place - MOST MONEY HOARDED
First Place - MOST LIKELY TO REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER

Tony frowned and asked, "Did you know anything about this?"

Rhodey shrugged and said, "Voting is anonymous and confidential."

Chapter 66: Tony doesn't have the ability to grant pardons

Some prop-Tony fics go beyond the U.N. pardoning "the Rogues." They have TONY pardon them. It's just bizarre, because Tony can't even get Thaddeus Ross to listen to him. Why would anyone think Tony has power over the entire U.N.?

***

Tony strode into the common room of the compound and announced, "I've decided to issue an official pardon."

Rhodey looked up from his tablet and said, "Hey Tony, nice to see you. It's been a while. What the hell are you talking about?"

Tony sat down and said, "I've decided that there were mistakes on both sides. And there's nothing to be gained by holding a grudge. So Cap and his buddies can come back and rejoin the team."

Rhodey asked, "How did you get Secretary Ross to call off the manhunt?"

Tony shifted and said, "Well, I, uh, didn't."

Rhodey frowned and asked, "So you got the U.N. to amend the Accords and dismiss the Accords violations against the team?"

Tony shrugged.

Rhodey sighed and asked, "Tony, do you actually think you can grant pardons? Like you're a government entity or something?"

Tony said, "Well, I SHOULD be. After all, I'm a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist."

Rhodey stared for a moment, then said, "I'm glad you decided to let bygones be bygones, Tony. But you pardoning Cap and the others doesn't make it any safer for them to come back."

As Tony sulked, Rhodey said quietly, "I wish it did..."

Chapter 67: Tony never "opened up to Steve and trusted him"

Apparently some prop-Tony folks think the way to make it okay that Tony tried to commit cold-blooded murder is to suggest that Tony was betrayed by his "best friend" Steve after Tony "opened up to Steve and trusted him." Even if Tony really does seem very self-centered and would probably talk about himself a LOT, the fact is Tony and Steve never spent that much time together. Steve and Natasha were with Avengers 2.0 while Tony was retired. As people have pointed out, Tony and Steve were work acquaintances more than anything else. (And even if it was true they were good buddies, that doesn't excuse Tony from trying to murder Bucky.)

Note: Set in an AU where Tony opens up the package with the phone in front of Rhodey.

***

Tony flung himself into a chair next to Rhodey at the compound. He said, "I can't believe the nerve of that Star Spangled Pain in the Ass."

Rhodey frowned and said, "What do you mean?"

Tony crossed his arms and said, "After all I did for him. After I bared my SOUL to Cap. Opened up and trusted him with my deepest thoughts and secrets."

Rhodey side-eyed Tony. While he could believe Tony would talk about himself to anyone and everyone, the logistics just didn't work. He asked, "When exactly did that happen? Because Steve told me he worked for Shield after you guys captured Loki. And you were pretty much just showing up for Hydra raids after the whole Triskelion thing. And Steve was here and you were at the Tower after you retired."

Tony shrugged and said, "I don't know. We bonded. We had to. It's the only way I can be so BETRAYED by my VERY GOOD FRIEND."

Rhodey asked, "Uh, Tony, you're not making any sense. How exactly did Steve betray you? He told you straight out why he wasn't signing the Accords. And YOU'RE the one who started the fight at the airport. What exactly has got your shorts in a knot?"

Tony jumped up and said, "Cap KNEW Hydra killed my parents! And it turns out his good buddy Bucky was the one who did it. And so of COURSE I was gonna do something about it. But Cap kept getting in the way--he wouldn't stand down!"

Rhodey frowned and asked, "When exactly did all this happen? And WHERE? Because according to Ross the Avengers have been grounded since Germany."

Tony waved an arm and said, "Uh, we, uh, met up, and, uh--don't you get it? Cap BETRAYED me. I'm looking for a little support here."

Rhodey crossed his arms and said, "I'm looking for a little TRUTH here, Tony. Spill it."

***

As Tony ranted for hours, Rhodey realized just how little Tony knew--or knew about--Steve Rogers. All Tony seemed to know was Cap and how Tony's own jealousy had warped things.

Rhodey did some investigating. He found Steve's letter and the number in the phone. He also found out how young the Spider Kid was, and watched some chilling footage of Tony trying to kill James Barnes.

He reached out to Steve and kept in contact, feeding the team information about situations that Thaddeus Ross didn't think the Avengers should be called in on. Rhodey noticed Ross never called the Avengers for ANYTHING. Vision and Rhodey reconciled before Vision left to be with Wanda.

Rhodey had Vision keep a close eye on Tony through Vision's connection with the internet. So when the Black Order arrived, Vision was able to contact Steve immediately. There was plenty of time to keep Vision safe. Rhodey and Steve coordinated much earlier and Vision wasn't injured, so Bruce and Shuri were able to safely extract the Mind Stone and Wanda was able to destroy it. With Wanda in the field immediately and Vision still able to fight, Thanos never got a chance to use the Time Stone before he was killed.

When Tony finally came back to Earth with Dr. Strange and the Spider Kid, Rhodey found himself withdrawing from the Accords, leaving Tony as the lone Avenger. Of course Tony ranted about how Rhodey BETRAYED Tony, but Rhodey found he no longer cared. He was happy to be reunited with the team that actually knew and cared about each other.

The Accords were abolished and the extended Team Cap lived happily ever after.

Chapter 68: If Loki showed up in Siberia, it’s not Tony he’d be rescuing

It's sort of bizarre that prop-Tony folks think everyone would see Tony firing lasers and rockets and Bucky's face, cutting off Bucky's arm, shooting Bucky in the back, and think TONY is the underdog in that fight. Loki already dislikes Tony Stark, so why would he rescue Tony in Siberia? He'd be more likely to laugh in Tony's face.

Set in an AU where Odin never went to sleep, so Loki was free to wander.

***

Loki often found himself like this, hiding in the shadows watching the good Captain do his captainly things.

It was disgustingly heroic or civic-minded most of the time, as Steve Rogers fought terrorists or visited hospitals.

But the last few days had been much more interesting. Rogers had gone rogue, first refusing to sign the Sokovia Accords. (Which surprised Loki. He had not credited the captain with having the spine to reject the attempts to reduce him to Midgard's attack dog.)

Then the captain had fought his own teammates. To save the world, of course, but rebellion is still rebellion. And honestly very attractive.

So Loki had secretly tagged along when Rogers and his friend "Bucky" traveled to this frozen wasteland.

Loki expected Stark to fall into the villain's trap. Of course the Iron Man abandoned all sense and attacked his own team again. This time with violence that surprised even Loki.

He almost stepped in when Stark lasered off Bucky's arm and shot the man in the back. But then the Captain seemed to finally realize Stark needed to be put down like a mad dog.

Loki did NOT lick his lips as he watched Rogers vanquish the Iron Man with a single blow of his shield.

Then Loki found himself surprised again when Rogers shrugged and dropped that same shield rather than engage with Stark's pettiness.

Loki listened as Rogers made arrangements with the Panther King and watched as the two soldiers entered their jet.

He waited until Rogers had given Bucky some basic medical attention and programmed coordinates into the jet. Then he made his appearance beside the captain's chair. Loki said, "Captain, you've had a most interesting day."

Rogers tensed, but then turned to look at Loki with tired eyes. Rogers said, "Are you here to make it more interesting?"

Loki considered. If he wanted to cause mischief, this was a perfect opportunity. But he preferred a more pleasant interaction. He shook his head and said, "No, at least not in the way you suspect. I merely find myself at loose ends, and my wanderings led to you."

Rogers took off his helmet. With his blond hair in tufts, he looked much younger. Rogers said, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave. T'Challa is offering Bucky sanctuary and help, but he hasn't granted you access to Wakanda."

Before Loki could reply, Rogers raised a hand and said, "But if you're really not here to cause trouble, maybe we could meet up after Bucky's settled and I've gotten my team out of...according to T'Challa, they're locked up in a pretty awful place. And the Accords mean they're not getting out of there--or even seeing a lawyer--anytime soon."

Loki had occasionally looked in on the Avengers. He'd felt some twinges of conscience about the archer, and was interested in the witch's powers because they were so different from his own. He could admit he did not like the thought of anyone being imprisoned. He said, "Perhaps I could provide some assistance."

The shock on Rogers' face morphed to skepticism, and then to consideration. He said, "We could talk about it after I get Bucky the care he needs. If you want."

Loki found he did want that. And in the weeks and months after "Team Cap" was liberated, he found he wanted more with the ex-captain.

***

Loki got wind of Thanos's plans before the Black Order even got to Nowhere. The Midgardians, Asgardians, and other heroes joined to stop Thanos before he had more than a single Infinity Stone.

The only hero missing from the gathering was Iron Man. While Vision and Rhodey came to realize how wrong the Accords were, Stark never could admit even to himself that he'd chosen poorly.

Loki had many thoughts of ways to punish Stark for his actions in Siberia, but Rogers--Steven--proved to be as good a man as Loki had always suspected and forgave Stark. Loki did, however, retrieve the shield as a token of his love for his renegade captain.

Chapter 69: If Peter got PTSD from watching a video of Siberia, it would be from seeing Tony Stark as a cold-blooded killer

This is just ridiculous. Peter gets PTSD after watching the Siberia footage, then punches Steve and yells at him for "abandoning his team, not trying to talk, leaving Mr. Stark to die, and blaming Mr. Stark when it's Steve's fault." Peter then claims Stark is 10 times the guy Steve is. The prop-Tony writer obviously didn't think things through. The only footage of Siberia would be from Tony's point-of-view. So Peter got PTSD from watching Tony Stark fire lasers and rockets at Bucky's face, shooting Bucky in the back, and kicking Bucky's head when Bucky was down on the floor. Plus Tony had to have lied to Peter if Peter thought all those things he yelled. And Peter would NEVER punch someone who wasn't actively causing harm to another person--that's what TONY does, not Peter.

Note: This is an AU where there wasn't a press conference planned at the end of Homecoming, so Peter has time to make a decision.

***

Peter paced the grounds around the Avengers Compound. He KNEW he shouldn't have done it. But when Mr. Stark started making all the snide comments about the other Avengers, Peter realized that he didn't actually have a clue about everything that happened after Mr. Stark threatened to tell Aunt May about Spider-Man.

He couldn't settle down. Not after everything he'd seen. Peter was a little shocked at how bad Mr. Stark's security was. With a little remote help from Ned, Peter had been deep into Mr. Stark's files. That's where he saw...everything.

First, an actual copy of the Sokovia Accords. Peter had gone cold when he read about being tagged and tracked by the U.N.--AND that he had to wait for a panel to give permission before he could save someone. He also didn't like the mention of no lawyers and that he could be imprisoned forever if somebody wanted. It made Peter wonder what happened to the members of Captain America's team who'd been arrested at the airport.

Then Peter found out WHY Captain America was at the airport. He saw the footage from Iron Man's camera. How Mr. Stark met up with Captain America and the metal-armed guy from the airport. The Winter Soldiers in some tubes. The guy with the accent talking about losing everything. The video of the metal-arm guy killing some old guy.

And then Mr. Stark...losing it. Peter watched as Mr. Stark attacked Captain America and the metal-arm guy. He flinched as he saw Iron Man shooting lasers that cut through concrete. And firing right into the metal-arm guy's FACE. Every time Captain America got a hit in that pushed Mr. Stark back, Peter started to relax thinking Mr. Stark would come to his senses.

He didn't.

When Mr. Stark fired at the top of the silo when the metal-arm guy was running away, Peter started to realize that maybe Iron Man wasn't such a great hero after all.

And when Mr. Stark cut off the guy's arm, THEN shot the guy in the back and THEN kicked the guy in the head, Peter had started shaking. It was like HE was doing all that damage. HE shot someone in the back. Like Peter was--was--a VILLAIN.

Like Mr. Stark was a villian.

Peter had hugged himself in relief when Captain America finally made Iron Man STOP. Peter knew Mr. Stark hadn't been hurt by Cap because Mr. Stark was fine in the limo when they got back from Germany.

Peter had also found a phone. With one contact in it.

He pushed the Call button.

A familiar voice on the other end said, "Tony, what's happened?"

Peter cleared his throat and said, "It's um, I found this and, um, it's..."

Captain America said, "Queens, is that you? Are you okay?"

Peter replied, "Yes, there's no danger but no, I'm not. I'm here, at--at Avengers Compound. But most of the Avengers are gone. And--and I saw--I just wanted to understand--but I SAW and--"

Cap said, "Okay, breathe with me Queens. In, and out. Then start again."

Peter breathed with Cap and then said, "I SAW what Mr. Stark did. And I read the Accords. They're AWFUL. Mr. Stark, he told me that you thought you were right but you were wrong. But you WERE right. And Mr. Stark was wrong. He was SO wrong. He--he shot--he cut--he kicked--"

Cap said, "Okay Queens, you need to breathe with me again." After they breathed a couple times, Cap continued, "What you saw, it got pretty bad. I just...I don't know what to say. Yes, Tony was upset and had every right to be. But what he DID...it crossed a line."

Peter nodded, then said, "Yeah. Mr. Stark, he asked me to be an Avenger. But I don't think I can. Not with what I know, about him and the Accords. I don't want to be tracked or have to wait for somebody else to tell me what I can do, and...you know."

Cap said, "It's good to know what you don't want. But what DO you want?"

Peter thought about it, then said, "I want to help the little guy. I want to be the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man."

Cap said, "Then that's what you should do."

Peter said, "But the other question is, do I just say No and go home? I kind of want to tell Mr. Stark off for lying to me and being--he's not really a hero to me anymore. I almost want to punch him for what he's done."

Cap replied, "I can't tell you what to do, but I do think you may want to wait a while before you decide about that. Right now you're feeling a lot. And you may say or do something you regret later."

Peter thought about it, then said, "Yeah, okay. I think I should get my ride home before I do anything. I guess I should put the phone back."

He really didn't want to.

Cap said, "Please do. Tony needs it, just in case. But we can get you another phone. Can you get to Coney Island?"

Peter said, "Yeah, I hang out there sometimes."

Cap said, "Okay. Look for something attached to the top of the Cyclone framework in three days."

***

Peter found a burner phone. And a brand-new, super-cool suit.

He gave Mr. Stark's suit back and told Mr. Stark not to call him again. When Mr. Stark asked why, Peter said, "I still have nightmares about what I saw you do in Siberia."

That shut Mr. Stark up pretty quickly.

PETER warned Team Cap about the Black Order. And got Dr. Strange to the compound to join the team trip to Wakanda.

You'd think after defeating Thanos, Peter would have nightmares about THAT. But the few times he had bad dreams, it was always about him being Iron Man and killing Bucky Barnes.

But Peter knew he could call any of Team Cap--HIS team--to talk about it. And that helped a lot.

When the Accords were abolished, Team Cap became the Defenders. And they promised Peter a spot on that team if he wanted it...when he was old enough.

Chapter 70: Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Natasha, and Steve ALL considered the impact of the HYDRA info dump

It's so funny to me how prop-Tony writers lie about the info dump in Winter Soldier. They claim Tony was rushing around saving undercover Shield agents, despite Agents of Shield showing there WEREN'T any undercover operations to be affected. And Civil War showed us that Tony couldn't be bothered to look up his own last name (or wasn't able to decrypt the files), so the idea that Tony did ANYTHING is just not believable. But one prop-Tony story after another claims that "Steve and Natasha's info dump" shows they "are dangerous, didn't show any kind of remorse, and didn't think about the consequences for a second." Ignoring that Nick and Maria were involved and that HYDRA files are the ones that were dumped. Do the prop-Tony writers think Nick and Maria forgot they had agents? Or that they didn't care how those agents would be affected?

***

Maria Hill found the idea of running Avengers 2.0 a little...anticlimactic, after working with Nick Fury coordinating Shield operations for years. She would have to bite her lip whenever someone made a remark about the loss of Shield. And especially when someone mentioned Phil or Nick.

She was keeping SO many secrets.

Maria was chatting with Pepper when the conference room door opened and Tony Stark strolled in.

Without even greeting her, Stark said, "I hear Pepper's given you the thumbs-up on coordinating the Avengers. But I'M not convinced we should have someone so stupid on the team, much less THREE idiots."

Maria didn't respond, just stared. Eventually Pepper asked in a weary voice, "What are you talking about, Tony?"

Tony waved his arms and said, "Cap and Widow's info dump, of course. THINK of all the undercover Shield agents who were compromised by that idiotic act."

He pointed at Maria and said, "And SHE agreed to it!"

Maria looked at Pepper, who rolled her eyes and said, "Tell me, Tony, have you bothered to check the news since the helicarriers fell?"

Tony shrugged.

Pepper said, "If you HAD, you'd have noticed that the only news is the arrest of HYDRA operatives. HYDRA files were released. Have YOU bothered to check any of them?"

Tony shrugged and said, "Uh, they were encrypted."

Pepper said, "YES, they are."

Maria looked at Tony and said, "I KNOW you haven't looked at anything because you're assuming Shield was some kind of police operation. We're not. We don't really HAVE long-term undercover operations. We get in, get the info, and get out. The only exceptions are protection or assessment details, and those agents wouldn't be in danger even if they were exposed--which they were not."

She sighed and continued, "Steve, Natasha, Nick, Sam, and I all agreed to the plan. NICK is the one who provided the authorization to release the files. Do you really think Nick Fury would put his agents' lives at risk? Do you think I would?"

Maria stood up and said to Pepper, "Please let me know what you decide."

She didn't even look at Tony as she walked out, but she could hear Pepper's furious whisper as she closed the door.

It wasn't even an hour later she got a call from Pepper saying she got the job.

But Maria never did get an apology from Tony. She wasn't surprised.

Chapter 71: Bucky would never think Steve was a bully

Maybe it's because Tony doesn't have any connections that are all that deep--but for whatever reason, some prop-Tony folks are obsessed with having Bucky turn on Steve and prop Tony. In the inspiration for this one, Bucky said he thought Steve was a bully who should've died before he got the serum and deserved to get beat up all the time. The first time we see Steve in The First Avenger, he's standing up to a bully who was making insensitive remarks in a theater full of people crying about their missing loved ones. Every time we see Tony, he's mocking people's traumas or trying to get something from them they don't want to give. It's pretty obvious who the bully is, and it's NOT Steve.

Note: Set in an AU where Bucky came in from the cold after Age of Ultron. Bruce didn't leave.

***

The Winter Soldier had a thousand-yard stare. Bucky Barnes didn't.

But he sure as hell wished he did as he listened to Tony Stark's rant about Steve's "bullying." Apparently it consisted of Steve telling Tony not to poke Bruce Banner with an electric prod, telling Tony that Steve knew guys that were worth 10 of Tony, and telling Tony he shouldn't have messed with Loki's scepter and unleashed a murderbot.

Bucky didn't see anything wrong or bullying in anything Steve said. After all, Bucky knew the Howling Commandos too, and he'd trade Tony for any one of them in a heartbeat. Those guys might not have had all the money and tech that Tony Stark did, but they had good hearts and a LOT less ego. Plus, only an idiot would try to bring out the Hulk, especially when Bruce himself didn't want that. And as for the Ultron business...Bucky wondered if Tony Stark just TOLD everyone he was a genius. Because Bucky wasn't seeing too much evidence of it.

A genius wouldn't be spouting off the way Tony was. But Tony was saying, "Seriously, Bucksicle, Rogers needs to be taken down a HUNDRED pegs. I can't believe you put up with him back then, instead of knocking him on his scrawny ass every time he gave you lip."

Bucky tilted his head and asked, "What did you say?"

Tony waved his arms and said, "I'd pay good money--I mean real money, like a million dollars in cash--to see you tell Steve Rogers to his face that he's a bully and deserved every punch he ever got back in the day. I'd throw in another million to hear you tell him he should have died before he ever got the serum."

The sound of metal had both Bucky and Tony looking at Bucky's metal arm, which apparently locked into death-punch mode without Bucky even thinking about it.

When Bucky looked back at Tony, the billionaire was eyeing Bucky's arm a little nervously.

Bucky stood up and said, "I really don't know what your problem is. I don't really want to know. But you may want to get some therapy or something. Because it sounds like you're projecting YOUR bullying onto Steve. Who last I checked DOESN'T make rape jokes, DOESN'T call people nicknames that make fun of people's trauma, or try to provoke Bruce Banner into turning into the Other Guy just to see if it would happen. And Steve DEFINITELY didn't create Ultron and then laugh about it."

With a last shake of the head, Bucky walked off to find Steve. Remembering with a fond smile all the times he'd seen Steve--before and after the serum--stand up to bullies.

Chapter 72: Team Cap did just fine without Tony

So many prop-Tony stories involve Team Cap suffering without Tony's financial backing (Usually after they've been dramatically kicked out of Wakanda, even though canon only has Bucky and Steve visiting there.) One story has the team assuming it's only a matter of time before they're welcomed back, which again is not anything like canon. Especially because the Accords were never amended--WHY would Team Cap come back to a situation they rejected? This prop-Tony gem has Grant Ward being hunted and Carol Danvers showing up to be a Tony prop. It just doesn't make any sense, especially after Hawkeye showed that Clint had no problem making his own weapons and Infinity War showed Steve being an effective fighter with and without a shield.

Note: Set in an AU where Infinity War didn't happen. I haven't seen Captain Marvel, so Carol may be out of character.

***

Carol Danvers was PISSED. Somehow Tony Stark had gotten hold of the pager she'd given to Nick Fury. She'd shown up to find instead of her old friend, the billionaire who'd been known for his sexism as much as his weapons.

Stark was showing her around a nearly empty compound. He said, "And of course I'll be needing to take your measurements. I'm sure you're doing the best you can in that outfit, but you seriously need a head-to-toe upgrade."

Carol blinked and said, "You'll be measuring the width of my fist on your face if you try to lay a hand on me."

Stark frowned and said, "Better watch your attitude, Blondie. If you can't be a team player, you can go find out the hard way how difficult it is to survive out there without my support. Just like Captain Crap and his team."

Carol's eyes narrowed as she asked, "Who are you talking about?"

Stark shrugged and said, "The ex-Avengers I'm replacing you with. They've been off the grid for months. I'm sure they'll come crawling back soon enough. After all, I'm there only source of money and equipment."

Carol asked, "Why are they ex-Avengers?"

Stark crossed his arms and said, "They wouldn't sign the Sokovia Accords. I'll be needing your John Hancock on the paperwork before you get your signing bonus."

Carol moved toward the door and said, "I think I need to do some reconnaissance."

***

She found Nick pretty quickly. He filled her in on everything that happened, including the fact that "Team Cap" was still in action. Carol asked for a meeting.

Carol was impressed with living legend Steve Rogers and more modern heroes Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson, and Wanda Maximoff.

As they were discussing a request from Nick to take down Hydra agent Grant Ward, Carol asked, "So Stark seemed pretty insistent that you guys would be desperate to get back in his good graces because you couldn't survive without his money and tech. What's the real story?"

Wanda snorted and flicked her fingers. Red mist danced in the air. She said, "I come with my own equipment."

Wilson shrugged and said, "I still have my wings from Stark, but I figure I earned those free and clear when he shot me while I was unarmed."

Carol's eyes widened at that. She glanced at Natasha and Steve.

Those two looked at each other. Then Natasha said, "I was trained to make or acquire my own equipment, or complete the mission without it."

Steve shrugged and said, "I've been doing fine without anything except myself, but I have an open invitation from a friend of ours to spend the weekend at a Renaissance Faire. He said he could set me up with any kind of weapon in no time."

Carol leaned back and said, "That settles it. Stark is just blowing smoke. Can't say I'm surprised, but I'm relieved I don't need to bother with him again."

Nick asked, "So you're sticking around?"

Carol nodded and said, "At least long enough to help you get this Grant Ward. At least we can take one loudmouth jerk out of action before I head back."

Chapter 73: Tony didn’t bother to do anything to make things right

Lots of prop-Tony fics claim Tony is emotionally a wreck after Civil War, starving himself, indulging in alcohol, working day and night to amend the Accords and get pardons for Team Cap. Some have him revealing how Ross treated Bruce – ignoring that Tony should really be acknowledging his own crimes against Peter and the Barton kids. The funny thing is, this “deep dive into Tony’s emotional state” is a mirage. Tony DIDN’T express a single sentence of guilt or regret for ANYTHING. He continued to support the Accords, verbally and emotionally abuse Peter, hide his crimes, and arrogantly decide taking a wizard, a teenager, himself, and the TIME STONE to Thanos was a good idea. (And specifically said Ultron was worth people losing their “precious freedoms.”) These prop-Tony folks should just admit they don’t like Tony at all, just somebody they made up in their heads. But the best bit is that in none of these fics does Tony actually reflect on what he does wrong. Instead it’s paragraph after paragraph about why people should feel sorry for Tony as he warps events to pretend HE is the victim of everything. What would a truly repentant Tony Stark be like?

***

The instant Tony snapped, he found himself in a gray wasteland. There were throngs of people all around him, but no one near where he was standing.

Suddenly a tall, cloaked figure started to approach. Tony shuddered at the scythe the figure was carrying. When the figure stood before Tony, Tony could see NOTHING beneath the cloak's hood. He swallowed and asked, "What's going on?"

Death seemed to stare at Tony a moment, then said, "Anthony Edward Stark, your victims await you."

Tony's jaw dropped as he stared around him. There were more than millions...maybe more than billions. He asked, "How...?"

Death said, "Are you really surprised, Stark? Think of your life, your choices, your actions. From the first weapon you designed without care who it killed to your refusal to rescue those who died in the wake of the Snap, you have taken the path of selfishness, of arrogance. This is the result."

Tony protested, "I flew the nuke into the wormhole! I just snapped to stop Thanos!"

Death gave a slow nod and said, "Yes, you have. Those you saved from those actions are NOT here. That wipes a drop of red from your ledger."

Tony looked around again and asked, "What's going to happen?"

Death repled, "What SHOULD happen is the just punishment: As you destroyed your victims' lives, your victims tear you apart, moment after moment, day after day, forever. What WILL happen...remains to be seen."

***

Tony opened his eyes and groaned. He was hungover...again. He rubbed his forehead and sat up to find himself in his bedroom in the Tower, alone.

He blinked and looked around. He hadn't owned the Tower in years. He held his breath a moment, hoping. Then he said, "Date and time."

Jarvis's voice answered with a date even before Afghanistan. And it was 9am. No wonder Tony felt like he hadn't slept--Past Him probably hadn't.

Tony put his face in his hands. All his choices passed before his eyes, ending with the legion of dead awaiting him.

He took a deep breath and stood. This time WOULD be different. Because Tony would be different.

***

This time around, Tony had a very different life. He paid attention to his business and was able to get Obadiah arrested before Afghanistan ever happened. He miniaturized the arc reactor at home in his lab. He contacted Vanko and made sure his father was credited and compensated for his part in creating the original.

Without Stane's involvement, Gulmira wasn't overrun with terrorists and Yo Hinsen and his family were safe.

Tony became a mentor to Hammer and Killian, keeping them from going bad.

When Natasha slipped in to observe him, Tony treated her like he treated all of his employees--respectfully. He ended up with an invitation to be an Avenger.

When Loki and the Chitauri arrived, Tony was NOT a jackass. He actually looked at Steve and Bruce and realized how they'd survived so much already and didn't need Tony's taunts and disrespect.

It was amazing how differently things went, because Barton was able to be stopped before damaging the Helicarrier. Coulson survived and Loki remained in custody.

A different future flowed from the changes Tony made. Thanos never stood a chance, so no one was ever snapped.

Decades later, when Tony was an old, old man, he knew he was about to die. He didn't know if this whole life was just a dream in the moment he snapped, but he didn't care. This time, he knew he'd made the right choices.

Chapter 74: They had to torture Bucky for decades to get him to kill people, but they had to torture Tony to get him to stop

I don't remember where I saw this online, but it is so true. If Tony hadn't ended up being a prisoner in Afghanistan, he would probably have never bothered to do anything but build bigger and more dangerous weapons. While ignoring who they were used on. While the Winter Soldier showed that Hydra had to erase Bucky's entire personality to get him to kill on command.

Note: Set during Falcon & the Winter Soldier, which I have not seen.

***

Sam shook his head as yet another Iron Man mural was announced online. He said, "Seriously? It's like the world forgot anybody else was involved with stopping Thanos."

He cleared his throat as he continued, "Like Natasha. Or even Bruce, who actually brought us all back."

Bucky shrugged and took a sip of his beer. He said, "Rumor is that Stark's money is funding it behind the scenes. Don't know how true it is, though."

Sam took a drink and said, "I can believe it. Five years of chaos and that guy STILL had billions."

He frowned and continued, "It's kind of disappointing, that Stark didn't step up. There's so much he could have done."

Bucky shrugged and said, "You know Steve was a little too Pollyanna sometimes, the way he DIDN'T complain. But I know he was disappointed in Stark too."

He felt a twinge, a ghost feeling in his left arm. He still remembered the feel of Stark's laser slicing through the metal arm that had been part of him for decades. And the shock of being shot in the back, and the way Stark's boot almost split Bucky's skull.

Bucky said, "You know, I knew Stark's dad. Howard. He was a good guy. Kept the Commandos supplied during the war."

He cleared his throat and admitted, "I killed him."

Sam shifted in his seat to look at Bucky. He said, "Hydra MADE you kill him. Seriously, I looked into your blank dead eyes more than once when you were in Winter Soldier mode. That wasn't you, man."

Sam sat back and said, "You know, it's kind of strange when you think about it. I was stationed in quite a few war zones during my time in service. I've seen Stark weapons up close--and what was left of the people they killed. And Stark was proud of that. Spent decades making his weapons bigger and badder."

He continued, "And Steve told me about your history. How the Winter Soldier had been a ghost story for 50 years. But Hydra had you for 70."

Sam paused for a long moment, then looked at Bucky again. He said, "It took 20 years for Hydra to break you down, suck you dry. They had to torture you for decades to get you to kill for them. But when you think about it, Tony Stark was gleefully building weapons all that time that he KNEW would kill people. And he never cared who they were used on. So in a way, it took Hydra torturing you to make you a killer. And it took Tony being tortured to get him to STOP."

Bucky stared. He'd never thought about that. That Hydra had to do so much to stop him from being a good man. So maybe deep down inside, he still was.

Bucky nodded at Sam. Then he said, "You know, we can't paint the Black Widow on every building in the world. But maybe we can get a mural for Natasha somewhere. She deserves it."

Sam said, "Damn straight." And clinked his bottle against Bucky's.

Bucky clinked back and thought it was good to have a reason to smile.

Chapter 75: Peter would never kill anyone for Tony

The original for this one has Peter be so furious at Steve protecting an innocent man from being butchered by Tony that PETER butchers Team Cap. The commenter wondered if maybe the prop-Tony writer was overcompensating because Tony is not as lovable or even likable as the other characters. (That does explain all the prop-Tony fics that lie about characters and events so you'll feel sorry for Tony.)

***

May Parker knocked softly on Peter's door. She said, "Hey kiddo, you're missing dinner."

When Peter didn't respond, May said, "Coming in," and opened the door.

When she saw Peter huddled on his bed, she rushed over. May sat down beside Peter and asked, "What's wrong?"

It had been a while since Peter decided he was too old to be babied, but right now he pressed into her side and said, "I've got to tell you something. It won't make sense otherwise."

May listened in shock as Peter revealed that he'd bitten by a radioactive spider, gained powers, and now lived a dual life as Spider-Man.

Peter then told her that Tony Stark had found out about Peter's secret, and threatened to tell Aunt May unless Peter went to Germany to help Mr. Stark stop Captain America.

Peter took a shuddering breath and said, "And now...now Mr. Stark wants me to KILL them. Black Widow, Falcon, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, the metal-arm guy, small and big guy, and Captain America. Mr. Stark--he said I should WANT to kill them. For Mr. Stark. Because they were so mean to him."

May was heartbroken as Peter looked at her and asked, "How can Mr. Stark say that? How can he WANT that? How can he think I would DO that? I just, I just--"

She hugged Peter as Peter started sniffling. She said, "Peter, you've had a lot happen in the last few months. You've had to do some growing up, and I'm so sorry you felt like you had to do it alone."

After a moment, May sat up and turned so she could look into Peter's eyes. She said, "In your life, you'll meet a lot of people who want you to think and act like they do. But you have to decide for yourself what YOU think and what YOU do."

Peter asked, "How will I know the right thing to do?"

May replied, "What did Uncle Ben always say?"

Peter swallowed and said, "With great power comes great responsibility."

May nodded and said, "That's a pretty good guide, and a way to judge a person's character. What happens when you think about that saying and Tony Stark?"

Peter shifted and said, "Mr. Stark has a LOT of power, as Iron Man and as himself. But expecting me to kill for him, wanting people killed for the reason he gave, that shows he DOESN'T act responsibly."

May said, "And getting you involved at ALL was very wrong of him, Peter. I could get him arrested, but that would mean a lot of trouble for you. And you've been through enough."

She asked, "What do YOU want to do?"

Peter thought for a moment. Then he straightened and said, "I want to be the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Who looks out for the little guy and DOESN'T think people deserve to die because I don't like the way they treated me. I want to be THAT kind of hero."

May smiled and hugged Peter again. She said, "I'm kind of terrified FOR you and what you'll be doing, but I'm also very proud OF you. And I think Ben would be, too."

Chapter 76: Janet Van Dyne would never prop Tony

Honestly, it's like prop-Tony writers just randomly pick people to worship Tony. There's no reason for Janet Van Dyne to prop Tony. And if we go by the MCU, she'd be furious at him for supporting the Sokovia Accords that sent armed agents after her husband and daughter.

Note: Set in an AU with no Infinity War and no need for the Pyms to go on the run. They did get Janet back and help Ava Starr.

***

Janet's first reaction to a strange man in her living room was to throw the mug of hot coffee in her hand right at the intruder's face.

She restrained herself when she recognized Tony Stark, whom she did NOT invite in. She pushed the emergency button on her phone. She knew that it would enable the cameras and recording devices Hank had set up as well as text Hope, Scott, and Hank that Janet wanted some help.

Janet leaned against the entryway to the room and asked, "Why did you break in to my house?"

Stark shrugged and said, "Technically, my AI broke in. I just entered."

Janet frowned and said, "And you entered uninvited...why?"

Stark sat down on a stool and waved a hand. He said, "Well, the thing is, the Avengers--you know the band broke up?"

She nodded, but didn't say anything. Hank had told her a lot about what happened while she'd been away. He'd been furious about the Accords and Scott bringing attention to Hank's technology. It had taken some discreet payments to certain government officials to keep everything quiet.

Janet simply stared at Stark until he finally said, "Right. So, Cap is being completely unreasonable about the whole Accords thing, so I'm getting a new gang together. I figured the Wasp would fit right in."

She asked, "Why?"

Stark blinked. Then he asked, "Why...why would you...uh, because Dad said you were smart and a lot more practical than your better half. Or other half, I guess, if you're better...uh...yeah."

Janet just stared some more, until she heard the car pull in.

She waited until Hank, Scott, and Hope entered. Then they all stared at Stark.

Finally, Janet said, "For the record, I did not invite you in this house at any time. Neither did anyone else. You are trespassing and breaking and entering."

She put the coffee mug down on her way over to Stark. She said as coldly as she possibly could, "Also for the record, I would NEVER be involved in any project that includes you. Get out, and NEVER contact any of us again."

Janet pictured reaching in on the quantum level and crushing Stark's brain from the inside out. At least some of her loathing must have shown on her face, because Stark nearly fell on the floor getting away from her and out of the house.

As she turned and went back to her coffee, she smiled.

Chapter 77: The Avenger most likely to touch something they shouldn't is Tony

The original prop-Tony gem has an OC archaeologist who warns Clint not to touch a bow that was found on a Hydra base. As if CLINT is the one known for handling and using technology he knows nothing about. If there WAS an artifact lying around, who REALLY would be the most likely to put his grubby hands on it?

***

Shellee watched Stark start to dig through the boxes retrieved from Strucker's bunker. She couldn't believe the idiot was STILL treating the unknown artifacts and alien tech like junk on a garage sale table. She said, "Maybe you should leave those for the experts."

She didn't include "THIS time." But she definitely wanted to. You'd have thought creating a murderbot would have taught Stark a lesson. But then Shellee remembered that the first thing Stark did was try to jump-start a second AI, one with alien tech embedded in its forehead.

Stark looked up at her and sneered. He said, "Whose lab is this, hmmm? Who's the certified genius in the room? Oh wait, ME. Why don't you go back to your little catalog or something?"

Shellee gritted her teeth and focused on her own box, which had some very interesting antique books, along with some ancient scrolls. She was handling everything with gloves, gathering just enough information to classify each artifact for later study.

There was a muffled bang from across the room. When Shellee lifted her head, Stark was gone.

She stood up and quickly walked over to where she'd last seen Stark. As she approached, she saw a large toad sitting on the floor.

The toad glared at her. Shellee shrugged and said, "I warned you."

***

It took months to restore Stark to his human form. Shellee wondered if the rest of the team had slacked off on their research as much as she did.

The quiet--except for Stark's occasional croak--was certainly a welcome change from Stark's usual combination of insults and bragging.

As she came in to work the day after they finally broke the spell, Shellee wondered if Stark had finally learned his lesson.

When she saw the others looking at a snake hissing at everyone from the corner, she had her answer.

Chapter 78: Bruce Banner would never be pro-Accords

Some prop-Tony stories have the Hulk be pro-Accords, others Bruce Banner. Neither persona would want anything to do with a document that puts him at the mercy of Thaddeus Ross, or would grant power to someone like Thaddeus Ross. Some prop-Tony folks say Bruce would accept Ross in order for the Hulk to be kept in check, but Bruce's avoided being seen by Ross in Infinity War. No way Bruce would let himself be under Ross's control, or any other kind of government control.

***

After the Ultron fiasco, Bruce decided to lay low. When Tony turned on Bruce after Bruce acknowledged that he and Tony made a mistake, Bruce realized that being Tony's science bro wasn't any kind of protection. And as much as he felt drawn to Natasha, he realized that saving others--clearing more red from her ledger--would always come first. And he just couldn't deal with that.

He followed the adventures of the Avengers via the local newspaper wherever he was currently staying. He felt a bit of pride seeing the good that Vision did, but also remembered all the harm Tony and Bruce did in uploading Ultron.

If he could do it again, he'd tell Tony to go to hell.

When he saw what happened in Lagos and part of him felt sorry for the Scarlet Witch, he realized that at some point he must have forgiven Wanda for triggering the Hulk.

When Bruce read about the Sokovia Accords, he shivered at how the document turned people into assets under government control.

And when he saw that Natasha and Tony were signing them...he had a hard time keeping the Other Guy from expressing an opinion.

A few days later, he also felt a lot of sympathy for James Barnes, who was being hunted by the world.

Bruce happened to be in Berlin. He'd also had a LOT of experience of hiding his presence and movements. So it wasn't that hard to let himself into Tony's suite.

***

Tony flicked on the light and screamed. Yelped. He was startled, okay.

Bruce said, "Hello, Tony."

Tony walked over to the bar and said, "Long time, no see."

Bruce nodded and replied, "I figured taking a break was better for my health."

Tony poured a drink, then moved to another chair. He said, "I'm in transit here. My jet's being fueled--heading to NYC for some back-up. So what brings you to my door?"

Bruce frowned and said, "The Sokovia Accords--as if you didn't know."

Tony said, "So you're here to sign?"

Bruce shook his head and said, "I'm hear to find out why you signed."

He tried to keep the growl out of his voice as he said, "I'm kind of surprised you'd have anything to do with Thaddeus Ross."

He almost reminded Tony of the hell Ross put him through. But he figured Tony knew...and it didn't matter.

Tony leaned back and said, "We have to be put in check. And Ross...he's not in the military anymore. You'll be safe."

Bruce said, "Prove it."

Tony frowned and asked, "How?"

Bruce shifted forward and said, "Call Ross. Tell him you heard a rumor...about me. And see what he says."

Tony shrugged and pulled out his phone. He said, "Friday, reach out and touch the Secretary of State."

Ross's voice sounded as he said, "What do you want, Stark?"

Tony looked at Bruce and said, "Just checking to see if you'd heard anything about a mutual acquaintance. And I don't mean Kermit the Frog."

After a moment of silence, Ross said, "If you have a line on Banner, drop everything and get after it."

Tony frowned and said, "I told you I'd bring in Cap and his merry band of fugitives."

Ross snorted and said, "And I'm telling you that you have new orders: Bring in Banner. Wherever, however you have to."

Tony said slowly, "All right. Word on the street is that he's in Sri Lanka. So I'm going to need some paperwork to make it happen."

Ross said, "Leave it to me." He hung up.

Bruce said, "I don't think I'm safe."

Tony nodded and said, "You're right."

He stood and said, "Looks like I'm going to miss the surprise party for Cap."

Bruce also stood and said, "Thanks."

As Bruce passed him to leave, Tony said, "Take care of yourself."

Bruce nodded and slipped out the door. He was already planning his next step.

***

Without Tony at the airport to start the fight, the remaining heroes were able to agree that stopping the five Winter Soldiers was the top priority.

Natasha, Rhodey, Vision, and T'Challa were persuaded to revoke their support of the Accords.

Even more surprising was when Tony backed out of them as well.

The Accords were abolished so the team was united when Thanos arrived. Neither Bruce nor Peter Parker were involved in the New York fight, but Steve, Natasha, and Sam were able to prevent Dr. Strange from being abducted, while Rhodey, Wanda, and Vision creamed the Obsidian Order members who tried to attack Vision at the compound. Even without Bruce or Tony, Thanos was defeated in Wakanda.

After the battles, Bruce visited the compound to congratulate the heroes. He and Natasha realized they'd be better off as friends, but both were glad to be friends again, in a universe without Thanos or the Accords.

Chapter 79: If Tony is kidnapped and tortured by Ross, that doesn't mean Team Cap was wrong about the Sokovia Accords

There's a really weird disconnect in prop-Tony writers' thinking. They have bad things happen to Tony, then have Team Cap feel guilty and think they should have just signed the Accords. It doesn't make any sense. While Team Cap may have empathy for Tony (because unlike Tony, other characters do actually care what happens to people), there's zero reason for any of those characters to feel guilty and even less to think they should have signed the Accords. That Tony gets kidnapped, tortured, or even killed does NOT make Tony right about anything.

***

Happy looked at the heroes gathered in the waiting room of the funeral home and said, "I guess you realize now how wrong you all were."

He pointed at the closed coffin and said, "Thaddeus Ross KIDNAPPED Tony! And now Tony's dead--thanks to all of you."

Pepper and Rhodey shook their heads. Rhodey said, "Man, we've been over this."

Vision said, "I understand that you want someone to blame, Mr. Hogan. But the only responsible parties were Secretary Ross for his actions while Tony was in custody. And Tony, for committing the Accords violations that caused him to be ARRESTED--not kidnapped--in the first place."

The others didn't say anything until after Pepper led Happy to another room to calm down. Before Rhodey followed them, he said to the others, "Things got bad from the day Ross and Tony showed up at the compound to announce the Sokovia Accords, but I never expect it to end up like this."

Natasha nodded and said, "At least Secretary Ross has been arrested and the human-rights violations on the Raft are being investigated."

No one mentioned how Secretary Ross's abuses of power demonstrated that they were correct NOT to sign away their rights by supporting the Sokovia Accords.

After Rhodey left, Sam said, "I wanted Tony to understand just how wrong he was all down the line, but I would never have wished this on him."

Wanda nodded and said, "I am torn. On the one hand, I feel Stark finally faced some consequences for his actions. I am grateful that Secretary Ross, the Raft, and the problems of the Accords have been exposed. On the other, I am sorry Stark suffered during his captivity, and that his friends must mourn him."

Steve said, "It's hard to lose a teammate, even after that teammate turns on you. We'll have to focus on the future, and make sure no one ever has the chance to gain--or misuse--that kind of power again."

Chapter 80: Tony thinks he is above the law

I do think Tony has every reason to think he'll never face legal consequences for his actions, because he never has. He was negligent for almost 20 years, yet he's still in charge of his company until he decides he doesn't even want to pretend to bother. He fires weapons into a crowded room--nothing. He hacks into Shield--nothing. He unleashes Ultron--nothing. He blackmails Peter--nothing. He violates the Accords--nothing. He creates a private Project Insight--nothing. He's definitely got more plot armor than most characters, who DO suffer even when they didn't do anything wrong. Which is why anyone who puts "facing consequences" or "being held accountable" on a prop-Tony story is either incredibly oblivious--or a complete hypocrite.

Note: This is paraphrased from a story that includes similar ridiculous lines to prop Tony. Set during the Accords discussion scene in Civil War.

***

Tony stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the compound conference room and said, "You should just sign the Accords, Cap."

He shrugged and continued, "You don't get it. Just because I'm going to sign the Accords doesn't mean I'm going to follow all of the rules. If there were people that needed to be saved, but the Accords aren't letting me go, I would do it anyway. I thought that you of all people would know that."

Vision frowned and said, "That is dishonest."

Wanda frowned and asked, "So you're saying the rules do not apply to you?"

Rhodey frowned and said, "That's not right, Tony. What's the point of signing and saying you agree with the Accords if you're just going to ignore them? And what makes you think you'll get away with it?"

Natasha shrugged from her seat and said, "Because he's already gotten away with EVERY crime he's ever committed. This is America, and Tony is white, heterosexual, older, rich, and cozy with the military-industrial complex. It doesn't matter what he does because he can buy his way out of it."

She leaned back and continued, "But that's HIM. None of US can buy our way out of trouble if we sign and then violate the terms."

Sam frowned and said, "And some of us can expect more trouble than others."

Steve frowned and said, "More importantly, signing the Accords is agreeing to the terms. Giving our word. It's obvious that's never meant anything to YOU, Tony. But for some of us...we don't sign a document we don't agree with. And I for one do NOT agree with the terms of the Sokovia Accords."

He looked at the others and continued, "Especially when they were written behind our backs and presented without enough time for a thorough review. And no time at all to make changes."

After more discussion, the Avengers (except Tony) voted NOT to sign anything that they couldn't all agree with. So Tony went off to sulk, refusing to admit he was blinded by his own privilege.

Chapter 81: No Spider-Man would let himself be adopted by Tony

Apparently prop-Tony writers watched "No Way Home" and decided that Tony would adopt all three Spider-Men, even though the first two Peter Parkers are adults who would NEVER prop a hypocritical, money-hoarding war profiteer. Even the naive latest version wouldn't have abandoned Aunt May.

What if Tony actually attempted it?

Note: Set in an AU where the rifts happen (for a different reason) after Civil War.

***

The three Spider-Men high-fived each other as the last of the villains were defeated.

Suddenly Iron Man touched down. The faceplate flipped up to reveal Tony Stark.

Stark said, "I didn't realize we had more than one Spider-Man on the block. I'll have to duplicate the adoption papers. Just send me your details and you'll be Avengers in no time."

This universe's Peter--Peter3--said, "Mr. Stark, I haven't heard from you in months. Now you're adopting us?"

The oldest Spider-Man--Peter1--looked Stark up and down. He said, "I'm in my forties. Are you high?"

Peter2 asked Peter3, "Is this universe's Iron Man the same douche I have? War profiteer, didn't care who his bombs killed, keeps all his billions for himself?"

Peter3 bit his lip, then nodded.

Peter2 made a disgusted face and said to Stark, "You couldn't pay me enough to be on your team, much less on your family and friends phone plan."

Peter1 said to Peter3, "What I don't understand is why Iron Man is here at all. Do you really have no one else?"

Peter3 said, "Well, yeah, but Mr. Stark asked for my help captur--in a crisis."

Peter2 asked, "And did Stark know exactly how old you were before he dragged you into his mess?"

Stark said, "Hey, wait a minute! Are you telling me there's a world where Iron Man gets no respect?"

Peter1 said, "There's at least two."

The two older Spider-Men grabbed Peter3 and webbed away before Stark could say anything else.

***

After making sure they weren't followed, the three Spider-Men landed at the spot they were planning to say good-bye.

Peter2 put his hand on Peter3's shoulder and said, "Look Peter, I don't know what's going on here, but seriously, think about your choices."

Peter1 nodded and said, "Especially if what you said is true--that Stark only shows up when he wants something from you."

Peter3 hugged his fellow heroes, then waved good-bye as they stepped into their portals.

He had a lot to think about.

Chapter 82: Rhodey is too good for Tony

While it's a shame that Rhodey is ignored as a pairing in favor of people Tony has never even met, it's easy to see why Rhodey would NOT be in a relationship with Tony. Tony treats Rhodey like a servant, wasting Rhodey's time and making fun of Rhodey's more responsible personality. So if Tony ever decided to hit on Rhodey, how might Rhodey react?

Note: Set after Iron Man 2.

***

Tony spun around in his chair. He was so BORED. He'd bedded everyone in the area and drunk all the booze.

As his spin showed him the room, he suddenly spotted Rhodey standing by the bar, pouring himself a soda. Tony jumped up and said, "Platypus! Come give me a hug."

Rhodey eyed Tony and said, "I'm good here, thanks."

Tony moved over and threw his arms around Rhodey. He said, "Thank GOD you're here. I'm so bored with everything."

Rhodey moved away to sit on a stool. He said, "Well maybe you can work on those upgrades you promised me. Or write an apology to the recruits Iron Man was supposed to visit with War Machine today."

Tony frowned and said, "Did I have an appointment today? Jarvis, did I have an appointment today?"

Jarvis replied, "Yes, sir. I told you this morning, then at noon, 1pm, 2pm, 2:30pm, 2:45pm, and at 3pm, which is when you were supposed to be at the venue."

Tony asked, "Why don't I remember that?"

Jarvis replied, "Probably because you were still feeling the effects of overindulgence. Sir."

Rhodey nodded and said, "You told me to stuff my pistol someplace very uncomfortable. I like to think you wouldn't say that if you were completely sober."

Tony shrugged and said, "I'll send a check. Jarvis, send a check."

He draped himself on Rhodey and said, "But I'm here now, and so are you. And I'm so BORED."

Tony sniffed and said, "You smell nice."

Rhodey pushed him off and said, "I'm not in the mood, Tony."

Tony came forward again and said, "No really, you smell delicious. And now that I think about it, you're looking pretty good as well."

He pulled at Rhodey's uniform tie and said, "I so do love a man in uniform."

Rhodey asked, "Since when?"

Tony replied, "Since right now. So what do you say? Save me from my boring evening."

Rhodey put down his drink and pulled Tony's wandering hands off his body. He said, "No thanks."

Tony frowned and said, "I KNOW you had a thing for me, back in the day. Now's your chance."

Rhodey nodded and said, "Yeah, I did. For a little while. I thought that it might be fun to get caught up in your crazy. Then I grew up and you didn't."

He moved toward the door.

Tony shouted after him, "You better play nice. You KNOW how much pull I still have with the brass."

Rhodey looked back and said, "I know."

Tony didn't know what to feel as the door closed quietly.

Chapter 83: If Tony was a mutant raised by Professor X and Magneto, he wouldn't be Tony Stark

This is one of those things that makes me think prop-Tony folks don't actually like Tony. Because if Tony was a mutant living with Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr, and going to school with Peter, Harley, Cassie, and the Barton kids, would he really be Tony Stark? I'm pretty sure Charles and Erik would NOT tolerate Tony's arrogance, bullying, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, or irresponsibility. So really, this is just a random character with Tony Stark's name.

Note: Set in an AU where the original Avengers visit an X-Men version of Earth.

***

Tony snuck away from the SO BORING meeting of the Avengers with the heroes of this world.

It hadn't been so boring until he'd struck out with every single hot chick on the X-Men team. Apparently the women on this world couldn't take a joke--or appreciate how awesome Iron Man was.

So he'd go find his own fun.

As he rounded the corner, he heard a bunch of kids talking. One or two sounded vaguely familiar.

Boy1 said, "I guess he's a hero or something, sure, but the guy was a real creep. I could tell Storm wanted to shoot some lightning at his head or something."

Girl1 said, "He was REALLY rude. Rogue looked upset when he made that crack about her not needing to cover up her assets."

Boy2 said, "Yeah, I felt like I should go punch him in the nose."

Girl2 said, "I could fire an arrow into his butt. THAT would teach him."

Boy1 said, "But of course Professor X would know you did it."

Girl2 said, "Yeah, I guess."

A third boy suddenly said, "I still can't believe that he's me."

Boy1 said, "It's true! The jerk said his name and everything. He's you--but OLD."

There was a scoffing sound, then Boy3 said, "As if. Dad or Papa would NEVER let me talk to anyone that way, even when I'm grown up."

Girl1 said, "What I don't get is why anyone would WANT to. I'm glad you don't want to act that way, T. I couldn't be friends with you anymore."

Boy3 said, "I promise. Even if I DO end up becoming Iron Man, I won't EVER become a jerk like that."

As the other kids all agreed and moved away, Tony turned to go back to the meeting.

Maybe he would keep his mouth shut this time.

Chapter 84: None of the Avengers tried to hurt Tony during Age of Ultron

There's a prop-Tony story claiming Tony was almost killed during Age of Ultron. First the genius claims Steve tried to use his shield to kill Tony. Then they claim that Thor was choking Tony when Thor got upset and lifted him. Apparently Tony desperately needs some pity points...

***

Tony smirked as he finished being sworn in. He waved to all the reporters in the gallery. He'd finished his testimony yesterday, telling the world how Captain America had almost KILLED Tony with his iconic shield. And how actual Asgardian god Thor had nearly throttled Tony to death by lifting him up by the neck.

Now he just had to get through the cross-examination and victory would be his.

A lawyer who Tony called Doughnut in his head stood up and said, "Mr. Stark, you've given us your version of the events of the last few weeks. I'd like to walk you through the highlights again--"

Tony groaned and said, "Seriously? Just read the transcript."

The guy cleared his throat and continued, "But this time, comparing it to the video record."

Tony frowned. He thought he'd destroyed all of the evidence.

Doughnut rolled over a video screen so it was visible to Tony as well as the judge and jury. He said, "We'll start with your encounter with the Asgardian Thor. Please watch this footage and confirm whether it accurately depicts events."

Tony watched as Thor stormed in, briefly lifted Tony, and set him back down. Tony said, "Yeah, that's the instant replay."

Doughnut then called Thor to stand next to Doughnut. When Thor did, Doughnut asked Thor to lift him up the same as he did to Tony.

Thor did. Tony was kind of envious that Thor wasn't even breathing hard. Life wasn't fair.

Tony's lawyer Tune jumped up and said, "Objection! We can't be sure it's exactly the same hold."

Doughnut said, "But we can be sure that I reacted the same as Mr. Stark did in the recording. He did not show any signs of respiratory or other distress."

He looked at Tony and asked, "Mr. Stark, are you claiming you were in physical distress during the incident? Because we will also be submitting your watch's data for your heartrate, blood pressure, and other indicators that were near baseline during and after the incident. AND we will also be submitting evidence that the hold Mr. Thor used is comparable to one used by aerial silk artists and other acrobats."

Tony frowned and looked at Tune. She gave a tiny shrug. He crossed his arms and said, "No, I was not in physical distress."

Doughnut thanked Tony and asked Thor to sit down. He then pressed some buttons on the remote and said, "Now we'd like to address the allegations against Captain Rogers. You claimed that he attacked you with his shield during the final steps in creating the being known as Vision, correct?"

Tony said, "Yes, he tried to take my head off with it!" He put his hand up with a tiny space between his thumb and forefinger and continued, "Cap came THAT CLOSE to killing me."

Doughnut said, "Let's compare your testimony to the footage."

The scene was chaotic, with Pietro Maximoff unplugging the computers and everyone shouting. Tony on the screen said, "I'm rerouting the upload."

Tony watched along with everyone else as Cap slung his mighty shield...at the COMPUTERS. None of the shots came near Tony.

Then everyone saw Tony put on a gauntlet and fire directly at Cap--while Cap had no protection other than his uniform.

Doughnut stopped the recording and said, "Mr. Stark, you're under oath. I ask you again, did Captain Rogers actually attack you?"

Tony gritted his teeth as he answered, "No."

Doughnut asked, "Mr. Stark, having reviewed the recording of events, do you believe that there is ANY merit to the accusations you've made against your former teammates?"

Tony crossed his arms and stayed silent.

Doughnut looked at the judge.

The judge said, "The witness will answer or be held in contempt."

Tony spat out, "No."

Doughnut said, "No more questions."

***

Tony trashed three computers, four TVs, and six other screens when the unanimous Not Guilty verdicts were handed down after 15 minutes of deliberation.

Chapter 85: If Peggy was Tony's mom, Tony Stark would be nothing like MCU!Tony

The originals for this prove that prop-Tony writers don't care about any other character being in character AND they don't really like Tony Stark, because in these stories he behaves NOTHING like Tony. (He's got all of the positive qualities that actually belong to other characters.)

How would Mom Peggy Stark and HER son react to the release of the Hydra files?

Note: Some of the prop-Tony works trot out the already-debunked lies about the HYDRA file dump that was approved by MARIA HILL and NICK FURY. The originals include the Fantastic Four, Dr. Strange, and Captain Marvel, so this one does too.

***

Peggy Carter and Howard Stark had both loved Steve Rogers. (Peggy suspected Sergeant Barnes had been a member of that club as well.)

With Steve gone, both Peggy and Howard moved on with other people. Both of them ended getting divorced.

Peggy didn't plan to have Howard's son. She and Howard had met with the Howlies on an anniversary of Steve's death. It was a mix of nostalgia, longing, and alcohol.

But when Peggy reported her condition, Howard had immediately popped the question. Anthony Carter Stark was born the next year.

Peggy laid down the law from the start: No son of hers was going to be an over-privileged wanker. Howard agreed. He focused on making the arc reactor a success instead of building more and more elaborate weapons. Obadiah Stane left the company in a huff, but Anton Vanko was persuaded to stick with the project instead of selling out. Ivan and Anthony grew up together.

Howard, Peggy, and Chester Phillips made a good team for Shield. But they weren't without their blind spots. Arnim Zola fooled them into thinking he was Johann Schmidt's helpless pawn instead of a true member of Hydra.

Both Howard and Peggy agreed that Anthony needed to become his own man before they would burden him with Shield. They cultivated relationships with other heroes, including the Fantastic Four and the Ancient One.

Peggy persuaded Howard to abandon the pursuit of the super soldier serum. So the Winter Soldier was never sent after the Starks.

Nick Fury recruited Captain Marvel, who often visited her home planet.

***

Anthony Carter Stark was nothing like the prime universe's Tony Stark. Anthony grew up knowing that women were just as capable as men and deserved respect--as did all of his employees and other people that he met, even if they weren't as smart as him. He also grew up appreciating his parents' wartime service and the contributions of Steve Rogers, James Buchanan Barnes, and the other Howling Commandos.

In the same way Anthony was very different from Tony, the creation of the Iron Man armor was very different. Anthony designed the armor for assisting in disaster areas. So he associated with people like Sam Wilson rather than Ulysses Klaue. Anthony still made friends with Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey, but he always treated them as equals and not people who existed to make his life easier.

When Anthony's parents saw his suit and what it was capable of, they told him about Shield and introduced him to Nick Fury.

The Avengers came together in a similar way, but Anthony was polite instead of insulting to his new teammates. He was especially kind to Steve Rogers, because Anthony knew how much both his parents loved Steve.

Steve was reunited with Howard and Peggy. Anthony found he wasn't jealous, but instead relieved that Steve still had a few friends from his previous life.

Ironically, Anthony was the one who realized something was up when he was asked to upgrade the helicarriers. He was horrified by the Project Insight program and secretly let Steve and his parents know about it. Peggy and Howard confirmed Natasha, Nick Fury, and Maria Hill were safe and told them the situation. Nick Fury called on Captain Marvel, the Invisible Woman, and the new Sorcerer Supreme--Stephen Strange--to secretly investigate the history of the program. They discovered Hydra in Shield right when Nick Fury was attacked.

Anthony was in New York when the footage of the Winter Soldier showed up on the news. He called his parents. Both Howard and Peggy were shocked to see the Howling Commando so many decades after he was lost in the mountains.

He was honored when both Howard and Peggy asked for him to help with the POW--IF Barnes could be safely brought in.

***

Anthony wasn't able to reach D.C. before the helicarriers launched. But he was able to use his armor to locate Steve by the riverbank--and secretly keep tabs on Barnes when he disappeared. So after Steve recovered, Anthony helped him make contact with Barnes and bring Barnes home.

Anthony cried a little as he watched the reunion of Howard, Peggy, Steve, and Bucky. And he was honored when they opened their arms and brought him into the hug.

In the course of his life, Anthony often took a moment to thank the powers that be for making him the son of Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. This was one of them.

Chapter 86: The Avengers WERE a family--Tony just didn’t choose to join

SO many prop-Tony stories have Tony suddenly thinking "the Avengers were never a family," and then using that to make people feel sorry for Tony or to justify him doing horrible things to his former teammates.

The hilarious thing is, the Avengers WERE a family. Thor and Bruce had a real relationship. Sam respected Scott and Scott treated everyone as friends. Steve and Nat were ride or die for each other for years. Clint and Wanda had a father-daughter connection, while Vision and Wanda actually fell in love. And the Avengers 2.0 gathering at the end of Age of Ultron made it easy to understand how Vision had no hard feelings for Wanda doing what she had to to gain her freedom from the compound and how Rhodey easily welcomed back Team Cap. Even T'Challa and Steve and Peter and Steve formed a connection.

TONY is the one who was treating the others as if they were beneath him. And equating friendship and family with doing everything Tony says.

Note: Set in an AU where Tony pulls his head out of his ass and realizes HE is the problem.

***

Tony didn't know why he came. Sure, he was always on the list, but after ignoring the invitations for a full year, he doubted anyone would expect him.

Especially since this was NOT a happy occasion. The anniversary of the death of the other Maximoff kid.

When he reached the living area, he was surprised to see it transformed. There was a TV screen showing images of the kid, along with a few shots of his sister and parents. Interspersed were photos of other people and Novi Grad in better times, along with a scroll of names.

Tony had to look away. He focused instead on Barton's wife talking to the brats in one corner. Then he stared at a small replica of the Sokovian memorial to Novi Grad on a table, along with unlit candles and a few other items that looked like they came from the same area of the world.

The Maximoff girl was seated on the couch a few steps away. Romanov was on one side, Barton on the other. Vision was sitting on the ottoman and holding hands with Maximoff. Rhodey was holding the tablet that controlled the compound's systems. A few taps, and quiet music began to play.

Tony yearned in that moment. To be part of this circle. With the quiet conversations and soft smiles, Tony could almost feel the connections flowing between this team that he'd walked away from.

He heard quiet voices behind him. With no chance to hide, he turned to see Wilson and Rogers walking down the hall. Rogers was holding a barbecue lighter, while Wilson had a single chime and a small mallet.

Both men stopped when they saw him.

Rogers said, "Hey, Tony. Long time, no see."

Tony wiped his hands on his pants and said, "Yeah, I just--I felt like dropping by. Timing sucks, though."

Wilson shook his head and said, "Nah, you're not too late. We're about to start."

Tony looked toward the room and then toward the front door.

Rogers said, "No pressure. You're welcome to join us. Or you're welcome to come back tomorrow. Whatever works for you."

The two men stepped past him and into the room, where they were welcomed with smiles and soft words. They joined Rhodey in giving brief hugs to Wanda. Then Rogers and Wilson went to the table, where Rogers began lighting the candles.

When Rogers reached the last few, Tony finally gathered his courage and stepped into the room.

Of course everyone stopped and looked at him. Before Tony could flee, Wanda walked up to him.

He held his breath until she dipped her head a little and said, "Thank you for coming."

Then she took his hand and drew him into the conversation and the Avengers family circle.

Chapter 87: If there was an accident involving vibranium, it would't involve Wakanda or Team Cap

It's kind of horrible how prop-Tony writers warp Wakanda and its inhabitants to prop Tony. Maybe because Shuri is considered smarter than Tony, she gets dumbed down. She not only gives Team Cap some vibranium for reasons, she doesn't make sure that the material is stored or handled properly. So Team Cap somehow gets their vibranium to absorb too much energy and it explodes near someone else's vibranium, completely destroying Wakanda. Tony swoops in to save the handful of survivors.

Now who is more likely to mishandle vibranium? Shuri, who is extremely capable and well aware of vibranium's properties? Team Cap, who have been shown as careful and focused on their missions? Or Tony Stark, who experimented with his suit--while he was wearing it--in ways that could have easily killed him and plugged alien technology into the internet?

***

When you're a multi-billionaire, you can buy anything. So it cost Tony a BIG chunk of change, but he was now the proud owner of some illegally imported vibranium.

The...contact...who finally provided the material had included some impressive anti-tracking devices AND a boatload of cautions and instructions. All of which Tony tossed out after telling Friday to read them.

Tony rubbed his hands as he contemplated what he could do with this much vibranium. He'd been close to melting down Cap's shield to get his hands on any, but now he had more than enough for several Iron Man suits.

Now he just had to get to work.

***

The day had finally come for Tony to test his brand new vibranium armor. He smirked to himself as he thought about how he'd totally kick Cap's ass if they ever met again. Tony set himself in front of one of his remote armors and said, "Friday, start blasting. Use sequence Number 10."

Friday said, "Boss, we don't know how the vibranium is going to react. Maybe you should observe from a distance?"

Tony frowned and said, "Yeah, there hasn't been a set pattern of responses, but none of them have been DANGEROUS. Just do it."

Friday said, "Yes boss." Then Friday had the drone start firing various energy and conventional weapons at the vibranium armor. Tony eagerly watched the armor absorb the energy, the way his armor did when Thor struck him with lightning so many years ago.

Tony said, "Keep going--I want to see how much this suit can take."

It was the last thing he ever said.

***

Shuri and Okoye stood beside the crater where Tony Stark blew himself up. Rhodey and Pepper were across the hole from them.

Princess Shuri had complained loud and long to T'Challa how stupid colonizers should NEVER have access to vibranium. Especially when they think the cautions and warnings are just guidelines. But here she was diplomatic. She said, "The readings indicate a large quantity of vibranium was involved in the explosion."

She paused, then said, "When it reacted, he would have died instantly. I'm sorry for your loss."

Rhodey shook his head, while Pepper closed her eyes for a long moment. Then she opened her eyes, stood straighter, and said, "I'm aware that no one in Wakanda gave Tony vibranium, so he got it illegally. I can only apologize on behalf of Stark Industries, and welcome you to check for any more vibranium on any of our properties."

Okoye nodded and said, "Your cooperation makes our jobs much easier."

When Pepper turned away, Shuri gestured for Rhodey to stay behind a moment.

When she reached him, Shuri slapped a set of kimoyo beads into his hand and said, "If you ever need to contact your former captain, squeeze the blue bead and say his full name."

She was relieved when Rhodes immediately slipped on the bracelet and said, "Thank you."

As she and Okoye started scanning to find any more stray vibranium, Shuri didn't know that she'd just saved the universe. Because Rhodey would immediately contact Steve the second Dr. Strange contacted Rhodey about Bruce Banner's sudden return to Earth.

All she did know was that Stark's death shouldn't have happened. And that he should have left vibranium to the Wakandans.

Chapter 88: A “sapient virus” has no reason to prop Tony

This is a weird one. Apparently a "sapient virus" from a meteor takes over an original character to prop Tony. Why it would be a good thing for a virus to prop Tony, I have no idea. And what in the universe would make it prop Tony? If it's sapient, you'd think it would be doing the opposite.

Note: Tony had a bruise on his eye after the airport fight.

***

Gryx had been clinging to this meteor a long time. It was a tiny fragment of its home planet, which was destroyed from within by a force too great for anyone or anything to stop. But the situation was not helped by certain factions on its planet. How Gryx survived, it did not know. But it was tired of the endless vacuum of space and its loneliness.

Eventually, change came. Gryx was caught in the gravitational pull of a planet and plunged into its atmosphere. It feared burning up in the entry, but that did not happen.

Gryx sat on its meteorite--much smaller than the meteor he started out on--and waited. It had few means of exploring its surroundings, but it knew there was a strong gravitational force and a full atmosphere. It had not experienced this in a long time.

Suddenly Gryx felt the warmth and texture of a hand lifting his meteorite. It immediately flowed into this new being, silently using the being's sensory apparatus to acquire more information on its new world.

The new being looked upon Gryx's meteorite and said, "Whoa, THIS is what caused that crater?"

Another being said, "Darcy, don't touch that! You don't know where it's been."

Gryx's being--Darcy--suddenly turned its gaze upon the second speaker. Darcy said, "I thought fire killed everything?"

The second being was what Gryx would identify as female, slender, dark-haired, and glaring. Not-Darcy said, "Not everything. Put it in the case and go sanitize your hands. Please."

Gryx farewelled his meteorite and experienced Darcy putting a sharp-smelling, clear liquid on her hands and rubbing vigorously.

Seeing Not-Darcy carrying the case to what Gryx knew was a vehicle, Gryx thought at his new companion, "Greetings, Darcy. I am called Gryx. I mean no harm. What planet is this?"

Darcy screamed and ran for the vehicle. She opened the door and said, "I've gone insane or I'm about to do a one-woman show of Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Not-Darcy2 was a male figure whose hair held no pigment. He turned to face Darcy and said, "I don't understand."

Not-Darcy1 gently gripped Darcy's upper limbs and said, "Take a deep breath, Darce. Whatever this is, we'll figure it out."

Darcy breathed and said, "I heard a voice. In my head. Gryx. It says it doesn't mean harm but has no clue where it is."

The Not-Darcys looked at each other. Then Not-Darcy1 guided Darcy to a seat while Not-Darcy2 poured water into a clear vessel and handed it to Darcy.

Darcy looked at it and said, "I'd rather have vodka."

Gryx asked Darcy, "What is vodka?"

Darcy yelped and said, "It doesn't know what vodka is...maybe we should let it find out."

Not-Darcy1 said, "Maybe later, Darcy. First, we need to confirm that you're okay. Can we take some vitals?"

Darcy said, "Sure Jane. Whatever helps get this whatever out of my head."

Gryx thought, "I regret your feelings of upset. I have minimal sensory input without the help of a complex biological construct such as yourself."

Darcy said, "Huh. Doc, Jane--Gryx just apologized. Says he can't sense things without help. I'm not sure it counts for anything if it won't exit voluntarily, but that's more than I get from some people."

The one called Doc leaned forward and said, "Perhaps it can move to me?"

Jane said, "That's NOT how we science, Erik."

Doc-Erik frowned and said, "Yes, you are correct. Apologies, Darcy. Let us confirm that you are suffering no harm being Gryx's host."

Gryx waited as the two Not-Darcys worked together to perform non-invasive tests and declared Darcy healthy--so far.

It thought, "Darcy, I am glad you are not harmed."

Darcy said, "Does being freaked out count as harm?"

Then she said, "Okay, you're using my senses and apparently sharing my brain. What do you bring to the table?"

Gryx said, "On my home planet, my species provided health and longevity in exchange for a place to reside within our partner."

Darcy said, "If you can cure my allergies, I'll count it a good deal."

***

Gryx answered questions from Jane, Doc-Erik, and Darcy for several days, while Darcy showed Gryx the "Earth" using a screen that opened windows into different areas of the world.

One day, all three beings--and Gryx--watched events unfolding in a place called Europe. Jane said, "I don't like the look of this. James Buchanan Barnes was a hero. And a Prisoner of War. The Winter Soldier...I wonder if he truly had a choice in his actions."

Doc-Erik frowned and said, "I can make some calls."

Darcy explained to Gryx who the people involved were and how Jane and Doc-Erik knew them.

When Doc-Erik came back, Darcy muttered, "Uh-oh, this does not look good."

Doc-Erik said quietly, "We have missed quite a bit. The Sokovia Accords say the Avengers cannot do anything without United Nations approval. They also say enhanced beings have to wear trackers. And..."

Gryx wanted to prod Doc-Erik, but Darcy is the one who said, "And what?"

Doc-Erik frowned and said, "There was a battle at Liepzig airport. Clint and the others were arrested--and have disappeared."

Jane looked at the screen and said, "Tony Stark hasn't."

Darcy asked, "You think he knows where they are and what's going on?"

When Jane nodded, Doc-Erik asked, "What can we do? I doubt Stark will unburden himself to us."

Gryx said, "Perhaps I may be of assistance."

Darcy said, "OMG, why didn't we think of it?"

Jane asked, "Darcy, you have an idea?"

Darcy nodded, then shook her head. She said, "Gryx does. Maybe we can get him onboard Tony Stark. It would be like an undetectable bug."

***

Darcy missed Gryx when it was gone. It wasn't hard to make the transfer--apparently just strolling through the lobby of Stark Tower in a flattering outfit got Darcy a kiss on the hand and an invitation to dinner. Stark assured her that he was free of entanglements--apparently Pepper and he were on a break. Up close, she could smell facepowder and see the faint mark of a bruise around his eye.

Darcy barely managed to make it through dinner--holding off Stark when he was in a mood was definitely exhausting. But at least Stark putting his hands where they didn't belong transferred Gryx back to her. When she was sure Gryx was secure, she mentioned the Sokovia Accords and her opposition to them. That got her hustled out the door so quick Darcy barely stayed in her shoes.

When Darcy made a roundabout way to the motor park they'd decided to use as their base of operations in NYC, she fell onto the couch with Erik and Jane and asked Gryx, "What's going on?"

Gryx thought and Darcy translated by saying, "I am deeply disturbed. Stark viewed a recording of himself crossing a long distance and meeting with Barnes and another male who wore a blue outfit and carried a round protective device."

Jane said, "I'll bet that's Steve Rogers."

Gryx continued, "Stark at first spoke with them, but then attacked them. Stark would not stop. Finally the one you call Steve destroyed Stark's power device. Steve took his friend but left behind his protective device."

Doc-Erik asked, "Any word on where Clint or the others are?"

Gryx answered, "They are being held in a dark dungeon. Most in cells, but there was a female wearing a most restrictive outfit. It also disturbed me."

Jane asked, "So what do we do?"

Gryx thought to Darcy, "I have the methods to show you Stark's recordings. Perhaps those may be of assistance?"

***

Darcy called some of her friends in IT and asked them to release all of the material Stark had on the Sokovia Accords and his own violations of them.

Team Cap had a much easier time getting the Accords abolished. Scott and Clint didn't even have house arrest.

Tony Stark, however, had to deal with multiple charges as he was forced to face the consequences of his actions.

When everything was settled, Gryx offered to move elsewhere. But Darcy decided she enjoyed having a built-in buddy. Even if Gryx didn't understand that coffee was the pinnacle of human development.

Chapter 89: If Tony lost everything, the others wouldn't kick him when he was down

The original for this suggests that Tony faced some real consequences after Age of Ultron and Civil War and lost everything. Then Team Cap and Vision treat him horribly. We're also supposed to feel sorry for Tony because he's now poor and unliked. The funny thing is, Tony DESERVES all the punishment he gets. But Team Cap is just too nice to behave like this.

Note: The original pretends Tony was in a coma for two weeks after Siberia and that Rhodey died in Liepzig. I don't bother with either bit of nonsense.

***

Tony sulked for two weeks after T'Challa turned him over to the authorities for Accords violations. He ignored Pepper, Happy, and the lawyers' attempts to explain the status of the criminal and civil cases against him. He even ignored Rhodey when he showed up.

Tony was shipped back to the compound and restricted to particular areas. He had read-only access to the internet on a voice-activated computer behind a glass screen, a stripped-down workshop, and no Friday.

Pepper stood next to Tony and said, "This is the best we could hope for. House arrest for five years, no access to AIs or components to make one--or any weapons."

Tony frowned and said, "THIS is the best? How is it even good?"

Pepper replied, "You're not in an underwater jail, Tony. Or in a Siberian prison. Stark Industries is still operating, even if your personal assets are frozen until all the lawsuits against you are settled."

Tony gestured around and said, "This is worse than solitary. What am I supposed to do with myself?"

Pepper said, "Some therapy wouldn't hurt."

***

Tony had banged around for about an hour before his screen rang. He accepted the incoming call even though he didn't recognize the number.

He was shocked to see Clint Barton on the other end. Tony asked, "Uh, how's everything...the family?"

Barton leaned back and said, "They're okay, no thanks to you."

Tony nodded. He asked, "So why did you reach out and touch me today?"

Barton replied, "Lang and I are also on house arrest. Figured I'd share my number in case one day I'm not so angry I want to rip your head off and shove it into the neck of your suit."

Tony said, "Doesn't sound like it will be anytime soon."

Barton shrugged and said, "I also wanted to give you some of your own perspective: We knew the rules, Tony. We broke them. This is the price we pay."

Tony sighed and said, "Considering everything, the price could have been much higher. Okay, Barton."

It was another hour when he got a second call. This time the squirrely guy from the Raft showed up and said, "Yo."

Tony frowned and asked, "Who ARE you?"

The guy said, "Scott Lang, Ant-Man. Well, I guess formerly Ant-Man. For the next few years."

Tony crossed his arms and asked, "So how did you get my contact info?"

Lang smiled and said, "Clint and I were talking about everything. He thought maybe I can help you adjust, given my previous experience with even more restrictive incarceration."

Tony's brows raised.

Before he could reply, Lang continued, "I have a bunch of ideas. Like, we could do a remote D&D adventure. Or maybe all learn the same skill and have a contest--I bet I'd rock the magic kit. Rock--yeah!--I'm thinking of taking up the drums. Maybe a band?"

Tony waved his hand and said, "Okay, I'll think about it."

***

Tony was working on Rhodey's braces--under the watchful eye of multiple guards--when an elderly deliveryman showed up at the door. The man said, "Package for Tony Stank?"

While Rhodey chuckled, the package was opened, examined, and then passed to Tony.

Tony carefully opened what looked like a book but instead was a box. Inside he found a small bouquet--made of metal.

Rhodey looked over and said, "Daffodils and daisies. New beginnings."

Tony picked up the small card tucked inside. It read, "Just an idea."

He'd bet they were created with hand tools--the kind Tony would be restricted to for the next few years.

Tony glanced at Rhodey and said quietly, "When you sneak off to talk to our former teammates, tell them...thanks."

Chapter 90: By Infinity War, Rhodey was NOT pro-Accords or angry at Team Cap

This is a weird one. Ignoring Rhodey's actual character and personality, the original has Rhodey angry that Team Cap returned to the compound. He also blames THEM for "not handling the Accords situation well" and also blames them for Thanos. Even though it was Tony who didn't bother to call Steve and warn that Vision was in danger until it was too late. And TONY was the one who decided to take the Time Stone to Thanos, even though a wizard, a suit of armor, and a teenager are no match for a Titan armed with Infinity Stones.

What might Rhodey REALLY be thinking?

***

Rhodey couldn't believe the stupidity coming out of Tony's mouth. Yeah, Tony had been through a lot, but did that really excuse spouting ideas that you'd hear at a neo-Nazi rally?

He winced when he heard Tony blame Steve for not being there. That made no sense at all. Rhodey now knew about the letter and the phone. He also knew that Steve had handled the Sokovia Accords the best he could. Steve didn't try to force anyone to sign. He succeeded in preventing his friend from being executed for a crime he didn't commit. And Steve was upfront about the dangers of the Winter Soldiers when the teams met at the airport.

Rhodey couldn't help wonder how different it would have been if he'd stopped Tony from attacking Steve's team. Maybe they ALL could have walked away safely.

He shook his head. Tony was the one who blasted off to another planet. Steve and his team were all here, joining forces with everyone available to try to save the Earth and the universe.

Everyone in Wakanda did their best. It definitely wasn't THEIR fault Thanos had the Time Stone and could rewind events.

That was on Tony.

As Rhodey shuffled Tony away, he realized that he would have done so much different if he'd known. He would have been with Steve's group from the start.

Too bad Sam Wilson wasn't around. Rhodey wouldn't have minded Sam's smug grin and "Told you so."

He missed it.

Chapter 91: Toni Stark would never be allowed in the Justice League

This is a strange one that claims Toni Stark is "true friends and allies" with the Justice League. It also claims that Toni cleaned up the info dump of "Shield" data (which was actually Hydra data). Funny Toni never noticed the Stark name in any of the files. This also has Bucky Barnes coming under the League's protection and falling in love with Toni. I'm trying to think of any member of the Justice League that would welcome a transphobic, homophobic, self-centered war profiteer. No one comes to mind.

Note: Set after Winter Soldier in an AU with both the Avengers and the Justice League. Tony (or Toni in this case) didn't do anything to help after Shield fell, just like canon.

***

The Hall of Justice was buzzing with the news of the fall of Shield. Batman finished giving a report on what they knew so far.

Wonder Woman said, "It's an unfortunate loss of life. I'm surprised that Captain Rogers survived."

Superman said, "I'm glad he did. Do we need to provide any assistance?"

Batman shook his head and said, "I don't think so. The unencrypted Hydra files are already providing evidence leading to multiple arrests. It will take some time to decrypt the other files."

He frowned and said, "I've been digging into them myself. You'd think Toni Stark--Iron Maiden--would be interested, but there's no activity indicating she's getting involved in this at all."

Superman said, "All right. Please keep us informed."

***

It wasn't THAT unusual for Clark Kent to travel to another location for a story. It WAS unusual to leave Lois behind and pretend he was actually on vacation.

He didn't know what compelled him to visit Captain Rogers. But here he was.

***

Diana spent a lot of time at the Smithsonian for her job, of course. But recent events caused her to join the throngs of visitors at the Captain America exhibit. She marveled at the change Steve Rogers underwent and admired his determination to do what was right, even when it cost him his life.

She was standing in front of the James Barnes display when a man paused beside her. At a glance she knew it was James Barnes himself.

When he left, she followed him out onto the streets of D.C. After tailing him for several blocks, he ducked down an alley. When she followed, she moved carefully and kept her hands empty and down. At the mouth of the alley, she said, "I mean you no harm."

Barnes stepped out of the shadows and said, "Seems like you should be worried that I want to hurt you."

Diana looked into his confused eyes and said, "I don't think you do."

Barnes shrugged.

Diana asked, "Do you have somewhere to stay? Or to go?"

He asked suspiciously, "Why do you care?"

She shrugged and said, "You look like you could use some help. I'd like to offer it."

Barnes asked, "Why should I trust you?"

Diana stepped forward and decided to trust her instincts. She showed him the edge of her bracelet and said, "Because I know what it's like to have to live in the shadows."

His eyes widened and he stared at her face. Finally, he gave a small nod.

When she turned to exit the alley, Barnes followed her.

***

Bruce Wayne shook his head as he viewed Toni Stark's recent internet activity. He was kind of surprised it was so easy to view this information--Stark was lucky she hadn't been hacked.

He looked at Lucius Fox and asked, "She's REALLY not doing anything about this?"

Fox shrugged and said, "Her AI isn't, at least."

He leaned back and asked, "So what do you want me to do? Start decrypting?"

Bruce frowned and said, "I guess so. I wonder how much more corruption we'll uncover."

***

Clark FINALLY caught up with Captain Rogers on his way out of the hospital. Clark said, "Hi, I'm Clark Kent. I know you don't know me--"

Rogers stopped and said, "Clark Kent? Of course I know you--well, I know your work. Daily Planet, right?"

Clark felt a little flustered at the captain's admiring look. He said, "Yes, yes, that's me. I was wondering if I could talk to you?"

Rogers tilted his head and asked, "You want to interview me?"

Clark shook his head and said, "I just...I thought you might like to talk this over with someone who wasn't involved."

Rogers looked at Clark for a few moments, then put out his hand and said, "I think I would. I'm Steve. Steve Rogers."

***

When the three heroes next met, Superman and Wonder Woman were smiling, while Batman frowned.

Wonder Woman and Superman both said, "I have news."

Batman said, "So have I. There are a few Hydra bases left, and what they're doing doesn't look good."

Wonder Woman said, "I also have information about Hydra, courtesy of James Buchanan Barnes, the POW who was forced to act as the Winter Soldier."

Batman asked, "How can you be sure he's not a plant?"

Wonder Woman said, "I found him. And he had no problem being questioned while wrapped in the Lasso of Truth. In a way, I think it helped him find his true self."

Superman said, "That's wonderful! I'm sure Ste--Captain Rogers will be thrilled to learn his friend is safe."

The other two heroes both looked at Superman. Superman blushed.

He said, "My news is, uh, Rogers and I have gotten to know each other. As Clark and Steve, not Superman and Captain America."

Wonder Woman asked gently, "Do you plan to tell him about Kal-El?"

Superman smiled and said, "In time."

***

The three members of the Justice League teamed up with the Avengers. Superman found the scepter. Even though he had a horrible vision of losing everyone, he didn't think that made it a good idea to use the scepter. With Thor's permission, Superman hid the scepter in the Fortress of Solitude.

Toni never got her hands on it. When Toni protested Wanda and Pietro joining the Avengers--refusing to believe that like Toni, they thought they volunteered for Shield--the other Avengers defected to the Justice League. Their combined powers easily stopped Thanos when the time came.

Toni wasn't able to find anyone else willing to be on the Avengers, so she retired from superheroing to sulk full time.

Chapter 92: If there was an investigation into Ultron, it would NOT go well for Tony

The obliviousness of this prop-Tony writer made me laugh. Apparently they don't seem to realize that if there was an investigation into Ultron, Tony would be in SERIOUS trouble.

Note: Let's have Pietro survive and Thor delay his exit from Earth. Some of the lines paraphrase the actual ridiculousness in the original. (This is not how courts work, but the original ignored proper procedure so this does too.)

***

Tony was leaned back in his chair. His chair was set apart from the other Avengers in the courtroom. He'd insisted on disassociating himself from "those people" as soon as the Maximoff twins were offered a place with the Avengers.

He'd also started subtly greasing the wheels to start an investigation into the TRUE cause of Ultron and who was really to blame. Those traitors would soon learn that they were not exempt from the law as they were forced to explain themselves.

And Tony had a front-row seat.

The presiding judge shifted through some papers and said, "As far as I understand it, Ultron was an individual bent on global destruction. With that in mind, I am dismissing any charges against the Avengers for their actions to stop Ultron from carrying out his plan. The damage and deaths of Novi Grad were caused by Ultron's plan, NOT by the Avengers' actions to prevent that plan from being carried out."

The judge took off his glasses and said, "The being said, we are left with the question of who is responsible for allowing Ultron the opportunity to conceive and attempt to carry out that genocidal plan."

Tony frowned at his lawyers, who were the only ones in the room NOT looking at Tony. Tony sat up and said, "It wasn't my fault!"

The prosecutor--an older chick who was not hot AT ALL--quickly called Tony to the stand. Tony repeated, "The interface wasn't ready. It wasn't my fault."

She said, "Let's determine that. Tell me, Mr. Stark, what was Ultron before it was an independent being?"

Tony shifted and said, "It was a program that was supposed to make the Avengers obsolete."

The lawyer asked, "What kind of program?"

Tony answered, "A security system."

She asked, "For Stark Industries? For New York? Or..."

Tony said, "It was supposed to be a global system, running the Iron Legion."

The prosecutor looked surprised as she asked, "And who would have control of that system?"

Tony replied, "Me, of course."

The prosecutor walked over to the stand to ask, "So Mr. Stark, let's recap. YOU are the creator of the Ultron application, running a global security force under your personal control. And you were planning to deploy Ultron without the knowledge or approval of ANY country on the planet, even your own. Is that correct?"

Tony started to sweat as he said, "Uh, yeah, but--but the witch made me do it!"

The lawyer followed Tony's pointing figure to where Wanda Maximoff sat at a table with the other Avengers. The lawyer turned back to Tony and asked, "Are you claiming you were under duress?"

Tony frowned and said, "Well..."

She said, "Before you answer, be aware that we have evidence that when Ms. Maximoff exerted influence over others, a red mist is present or a red coloring to the victim's eyes. We also have color footage of you during the time period in question."

After glaring, Tony admitted, "No, I was not under duress. But she showed me a vision! It was horrible."

The lawyer said, "I'm sure it was very distressing, Mr. Stark. The question is did it compel you to misuse alien technology. Was it a compulsion to attempt uploading your Ultron program? Or did you make a choice to upload it?"

Tony crossed his arms. After prodding from the judge, he answered, "Choice."

The lawyer nodded and asked, "Did you hear the testimony of the Asgardian Thor?"

Tony nodded and said, "Yes."

The lawyer said, "Then you are aware that Thor testified he gave you permission to STUDY the scepter originally in the possession of the Asgardian Loki, correct?"

Tony said, "Yes."

She walked back toward her table. She leaned on it and said, "Please tell the court, Mr. Stark, how does the activity of 'study' include uploading your unapproved Ultron application?"

Tony looked around the court. Everyone was staring.

After a few moments, the lawyer said, "Let's try an easier question. How long did you work on using the scepter to upload Ultron?"

Tony said, "A few days."

She asked, "And in that time, did you ever consult with Thor or ANY government authority on whether you should continue this course of action?"

Tony said, "No."

The lawyer nodded and asked, "Did you discuss telling your team of your actions?"

Tony started to shake his head, but the lawyer said, "Be aware, Mr. Stark, we do have a recording of a relevant conversation. Does the phrase 'man wasn't meant to meddle medley' ring a bell?"

He gritted his teeth and said, "No, the rest of the team was out of the loop."

The prosecutor asked, "Why?"

Tony practically growled, "Because none of them would have gone for it."

He stood up and said, "You don't get it--none of you get it. We NEEDED Ultron. It was the only option."

***

In the face of Tony's own testimony, there wasn't much Tony's lawyers could do. He quickly realized that the others had been careful to minimize Bruce's presence, probably to keep people's attention off the Hulk.

He sat alone in his Tower. He knew Rogers and the others were standing by the twins, testifying how the evidence they found pointed to the twins believing they were working for Shield and being indoctrinated to think the Avengers were the enemy.

The witch actually admitted to triggering the Hulk in the shipyard. She testified that she figured the Hulk would respond by going into a coma-like state, similar to everyone else she'd practiced on. HER defense also pointed out how far the Hulk traveled before going into a rampage. Tony winced at the analysis of how his own actions caused Hulk to stay enraged AND in a populated area.

It was small consolation that the witch was probably facing charges, because they were so much less than the ones the court was likely to lay on HIM.

Tony didn't ask Friday what his sentence was likely to be, or where he would likely be serving it. He didn't ask whether he was trending or about public opinion.

Instead he just sat in his chair with a brandy and wondered where the hell it all went so wrong.

Chapter 93: Peter Parker would never attack Howard Stark

I just don't understand the prop-Tony writer trend of turning Peter into a pit bull who attacks people he's never met (or barely met) over Tony Stark. Even if MCU Peter IS incredibly naive not to have noticed he's being exploited and lied to by Tony, he would NEVER attack strangers, especially when they are simply standing there doing nothing to anyone. And if Peter had the power of time travel, I think there are other, far more important people he'd visit.

Note: Set in an AU where Peter needs to time travel to WW2.

***

Peter had a few years of being Spider-Man under his belt by the time Dr. Strange contacted him again. This time it was a mission into the past to retrieve an object hidden there by someone planning to create an alternate universe by blowing up Captain America during WW2.

He didn't quite understand why HE was selected to go, but Peter was determined to do his best.

Peter looked around what seemed to be an Army base, from all the people in green. He moved toward a set of brick buildings, trying to look like he belonged there and hoping his uniform looked right.

He moved through the empty barracks, soon finding the device he was looking for. Carefully following Dr. Strange's instructions, he disarmed it. He was about to signal he was ready to leave when he saw a slight blond man walk in. He froze as he saw it was Rogers himself, the way he looked in the single pre-serum picture of him.

Rogers stepped forward and said, "Were you looking for some peace and quiet? I think you're new around here."

Peter could only give a jerky nod. Steve walked over and said, "Listen, I'm going to crawl out of my skin soon. If you're not busy, would you like to take a walk?"

Peter nodded again and said, "P--Peter."

Rogers' smile lit up his face. He replied, "Steve." He gestured for Peter to follow as he walked out of the barracks. Steve looked over his shoulder and said, "We little guys should stick together."

Peter was in a daze as he followed Rog--Steve--into a workshop of some kind.

Steve settled at the edge of the lab tables full of equipment. He said, "As long as you don't get in the way, Howard doesn't mind if you watch him work."

Peter looked at the men in lab coats working at different tasks. Off to the side was Howard Stark himself in a shirt and suspenders. Peter gaped at one of his heroes, seeing how Howard was around the same age as the picture hanging on the wall of his school. "Oh my god," he whispered.

Steve nodded and said, "Impressive, right?"

Peter nodded as he watched Howard Stark work. Mr. Stark--Tony Stark--sometimes complained about his dad. Peter didn't know how to feel about it, because he missed his own dad and Uncle Ben so much. He knew sometimes Mr. Stark wanted to punch his dad, but Peter just didn't feel the same. Especially when this Howard wasn't even a dad yet.

Then Peter looked over at Steve. Mr. Stark had said he wanted to punch Steve Rogers, too. In the teeth. Peter shook his head. He really didn't understand Mr. Stark.

Looking back at Howard, Peter watched as Howard discussed his ideas with his colleagues WITHOUT being rude or insulting. Knowing how much damage Tony Stark did to the world, part of Peter was tempted to change this universe's fate. Maybe he could mention condoms to Howard. Or let him know that maybe he should get to know Steve Rogers a little better.

Eventually, Steve touched Peter's arm and said, "Hey, I've got to get back. Take care of yourself, Peter."

Peter shook Steve's hand and watched him walk away. Then he sneaked into a closet and called Dr. Strange.

It wasn't the most exciting mission, but Peter was glad he'd had a chance to see two of his heroes.

Chapter 94: Deadpool would NOT prop Tony Stark

I can't believe prop-Tony writers think Deadpool would be on Tony's side. Based on what? As far as I can tell, Deadpool is an agent of chaos who would never let the U.N. order him around. And considering Tony's "humor" involves mocking other people's traumas, I don't think Deadpool would be a fan of Tony on a personal level either.

Note: I haven't seen Deadpool so he may be out of character.

***

Tony was getting desperate. NO ONE wanted to be an Avenger under the Sokovia Accords. Vision had disappeared. Rhodey was on and off at the compound but mostly doing his Air Force Colonel thing.

There were WAY too many articles asking if the Avengers were as good as dead and whether the Sokovia Accords were a good idea if most of the heroes rejected them.

Tony needed a win.

He'd heard about a motormouth mercenary with some special skills. Tony had to pay out some serious cash to arrange a meeting, but now he was waiting for Deadpool to show up.

Suddenly Deadpool landed in a crouch on the table in front of Tony, dressed in a skin-tight red-and-black outfit with the hilts of swords sticking up past his shoulders. Deadpool reached forward and pinched Tony's cheek and pulled. He said, "It's the real deal. No mask, no makeup. Tony Stark, in the flesh. You could knock me over with a feather."

Tony pushed Deadpool off and watched him roll over and off the table.

Deadpool's head popped up and he said, "A bit rough for a first date."

He climbed back on the table and sat cross-legged. He asked, "So what's up?"

Tony leaned back and frowned at the unexpected closeness. He said, "The Avengers have a few openings on their roster. This is an invitation to fill one."

Deadpool laughed, then looked at Tony and stopped. He said, "You're serious? Really? Little old me?"

At Tony's nod, Deadpool clasped his hands under his chin and said, "I'd like to thank the Academy for this honor and recognition of my work."

Then he crossed his arms and said, "No way in hell."

Tony frowned and said, "The world needs you--your country needs you."

Deadpool laughed, jumped up, did a somersault, and landed back in the same position. He said, "I know what the world AND MY country need, honey, and it's NOT Deadpool on the end of Thaddeus Ross's leash - though collars make such a fashion statement, don't they?"

He got in Tony's face to continue, "And I know what I don't need. I do NOT need to have your toxic aftershave stinking up my neighborhood. And I DEFINITELY do not need to be part of the Avengers. When my man Cap was on there, or Widow or Falcon? I'd have been honored, pleased, humbled, DELIGHTED for the invitation."

Deadpool stood up on the table so he was looming over Tony. He said, "But your sad little clique? I'd rather volunteer for a bikini wax."

Tony glared and said, "You're enhanced--you're subject to the Sokovia Accords. So you'd better reconsider."

Deadpool jumped off the table to land at Tony's side. He said, "And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is Tony Stark in a nutshell."

He quickly leaned forward, slapped Tony's cheek and said, "Tag--you're it. Close your eyes and count to one billion."

Before Tony could react, Deadpool skipped away.

Chapter 95: Sam would never be involved with Tony

Yet another pairing of Tony with one of his victims. There aren't a lot of Sam/Tony stories, but they're generally pretty awful. Sam is basically a prop who showers poor woobie Tony with forgiveness and unconditional love while ignoring all of the harm Tony caused to Sam and others.

Note: Set in an AU where the Sokovia Accords were quickly abolished and Team Cap exonerated.

***

Sam wandered outside during the break in discussions about what should replace the Sokovia Accords. He stood and watched the clouds, wishing he was flying up there than stuck listening to the debate down here.

But it was important work. And Steve had told him privately how much he appreciated Sam's steady presence by his side.

Sam was smiling at the memory of his friend's hand over his when suddenly the air was filled with WAY too much cologne.

As he was trying not to cough, someone said, "Looks like the little birdie has flown the coop."

Sam turned to see Tony Stark leaning against the wall, leering at Sam.

Sam didn't reply, so eventually Stark stood up and walked over. He leaned into Sam's space and said, "I've got the perfectly little love nest. Want to check it out?"

Sam didn't even bother hiding his disgust. He moved upwind and asked, "Why in the hell would you think I'd be interested in a man who shoots unarmed people? Sees someone in pain and does nothing to help them? Sees injustice and does nothing to make things right?"

He brushed off his sleeve as if trying to get the Stark stench off his clothes. Sam said, "I've got a list of people I'd be happy to date. You definitely aren't on it."

***

Sam had to thank Stark for one thing: Giving Sam the courage to walk into the conference room, draw Steve aside, and ask for a date. The way Steve's face lit up as he said yes was one of Sam's most treasured memories, but it was nothing to Steve's smile as they met in front of their friends to say their wedding vows two years later.

Chapter 96: Pepper and Rhodey would NOT attack Team Cap

I truly don't understand why prop-Tony writers portray Pepper and Rhodey as bulldogs whose only purpose is "when the Rogues return, to make sure the ex-Avengers won't hurt their friend again." There are a LOT of problems with this scenario. First, neither Pepper nor Rhodey has ever acted as gatekeeper or guard dog for Tony. On the contrary, they help people get access to him (such as Avengers 1 scene with Phil). Also, it suggests that Team Cap aren't also their friends, which seems unlikely especially for Rhodey. Third, Rhodey had a change of heart about the Accords, so it doesn't make sense that he'd attack people who share the same opinion. And last, Tony would have had to admit he violated the Accords (and lied about what actually happened) in order to have Pepper and Rhodey take that attitude--how likely is that?

Note: Set in an AU where the Sokovia Accords were quickly abolished.

***

Pepper and Rhodey finished their tour of the Avengers' quarters. They'd made sure everyone's personal effects were still in place and their rooms freshened.

Pepper had added fresh flowers to all the rooms. She'd missed the Avengers team, especially Natasha and Steve. She'd bonded with them over the years, especially sharing her love of art with Steve.

As Rhodey and Pepper sat with coffee and tea in the common area, Pepper asked, "Do you think they'll stay?"

Rhodey shrugged. He said, "I don't know. They're still pretty upset about the Raft. Wanda's in some intensive therapy."

He shifted and continued, "I think they feel like it could happen again--their rights being stripped, being taken with no contact with the outside world. Staying here could make them feel like easy targets."

Pepper nodded. She said, "Tony...didn't mention anything about the Raft. Do you think he knew?"

Rhodey sighed and said, "He was there, Pepper. He saw it with his own eyes."

Pepper bit her lip and said, "Something Vision and Friday said...makes me think Tony did more than visit the Raft."

She shifted her cup and continued, "I think he...I think Tony went somewhere he wasn't supposed to."

Rhodey asked, "You mean he violated the Accords?"

Pepper nodded.

Rhodey sat back and said, "Huh. That explains something Sam said, about Tony betraying them."

Pepper's brows drew together. She asked, "What do you mean?"

Rhodey replied, "Well for Wanda, Tony saw her and didn't do anything to help or even protest her treatment. Clint is furious because Tony let Ross know about Clint's wife and kids. The Ant Guy--Scott--he said something about bringing children on a battlefield. Sam said he should have kept his mouth shut and not trusted Tony."

He sighed and continued, "I asked Natasha and Steve about it. Natasha said if Tony can't control himself then he shouldn't have access to the armor. Steve said he could understand being upset, but shooting an unarmed man in the back isn't something a hero does. Then they said to ask Tony for his side of things before they shared theirs."

Before Pepper could say anything, Tony stomped in and asked, "Why can't I get in to the traitors' rooms? I want to add a little something personal to welcome them back to the U.S.--like paint bombs."

Pepper and Rhodey looked at each other. Then Pepper said, "I don't understand the hostility, Tony. They disagreed with you about the Sokovia Accords. It was their right to do so. They left instead of put you in an awkward situation. What's the problem?"

Rhodey said, "The Accords are done and dusted. So what's the hang-up? Unless there's something you're not telling us..."

Tony stared at them a moment, then muttered, "Traitors," turned, and blasted off.

Chapter 97: Peter was devastated by Aunt May's death, not Tony's

Apparently two of the writers of "No Way Home" confirmed that Peter has not suffered a loss like he did before May's death. That makes sense, because Peter spent hardly any time with Tony and it seemed every single encounter involved Tony belittling Peter or exploiting him.

***

Peter sat on the park bench and wondered what came next. He had felt a lot of things when his parents died--anger, grief, uncertainty. He felt the same when Uncle Ben died, along with a LOT of guilt. When he felt only guilt at Mr. Stark's death, Peter thought he was getting better with loss.

But he was wrong. An emptiness filled him whenever he thought about Aunt May. How she would no longer be there to stroke his hair from forehead, or give him a hug. How she always believed in him but was willing to call him on his crap. She was there for him for almost all of his life.

He was trying not to sob too loudly when someone sat next to him. He glanced over to see an older man who looked vaguely familiar.

Peter turned away to hid his tears.

The man said, "My dad, he died before I was even born. Never met him, but I knew him because my ma told me about him."

The man shifted and continued, "My ma...she was...she believed in me. Even when the world told me I was less than nothing, she did all she could to support me. And she expected a lot of me. I spent most of my life hoping she'd be proud of me...and missing her so much."

Peter didn't know the man, or how the man knew what happened. But when Peter turned, he turned all the way until he was being gathered in to a gentle embrace. He cried as the old man rocked him. He was glad the stranger didn't lie and say everything would be all right.

It wasn't. Peter wasn't sure when it would be.

He sniffled and said, "I miss her so much."

The old man nodded and hugged Peter a little tighter.

Eventually Peter ran out of tears (and snot). He sat back and took the handkerchief held out to him. After wiping his eyes and blowing his nose, he asked, "How did you know?"

The old man smiled a little and said, "I know a little bit about needing to start over. A mutual friend let me know you might need a shoulder."

The man then pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Peter. He said, "There are some folks on there who will help you if you need it--no questions asked. I put my name on there too, in case you ever want to talk about strong women and what it's like to lose them."

As the man got up and walked away, Peter opened the paper. At the bottom of the printout, he saw a hand-written number and a name: Steve Rogers.

Chapter 98: Wanda didn't claim to be the strongest magic user on Earth

The lies prop-Tony writers tell are usually bizarre--and out of character for everyone, including Tony. This gem has Wanda declaring she's the strongest magic user on Earth after Civil War, then has Dr. Strange and Loki "schooling" her. Funny thing is, from what I have found Loki isn't very high on the list of Marvel magic users, while Dr. Strange is usually one slot behind Wanda. So Wanda probably IS one of the strongest magic users--she just didn't boast about it.

Note: Set in an AU where Civil War and Thor: Ragnarok never happened.

***

It was always a little awkward when Tony showed up. The 2.0 team--Steve, Natasha, Sam, Vision, Wanda, Clint and Rhodey--had really come together. They clicked and became good friends over the months since Thor left, Bruce disappeared, and Tony retired.

But Tony still dropped in, usually to boast of some achievement or "tease" Steve or one of the others with cutting comments. Usually they congratulated Tony, or rolled their eyes and changed the topic.

He had something special planned this time.

Tony strutted in to the common area and pointed at Wanda. He said, "So you just THINK you're the strongest magic-user around."

Wanda looked bewildered and said, "What? I never even thought about it."

Tony said, "Don't deny it--you're ALWAYS getting in people's heads and giving them bad thoughts. The rest of these clowns may be fooled, but I'M not. And I've found the perfect couple of guys to school you on exactly who's the most powerful around here."

Suddenly a portal opened and two men stepped out. One was a stranger in a cloak, while the other was Loki.

Clint was up and tackling the Asgardian before anyone else could react.

Loki let him. He said, "Peace, Barton. I've reformed."

Steve looked at the stranger and asked, "Who are you?"

The man straightened his cloak and said, "I'm Dr. Strange. I heard there was a menace here that needed to be stopped."

He looked around and said, "It appears I was misinformed."

Clint pulled Loki up and asked, "And what kind of trouble are YOU here to cause?"

Loki said, "Dr. Strange contacted me and said he needed help dealing with a powerful magic user on Earth. So I came to HELP."

Clint narrowed his eyes at the Asgardian, then let him go. He said, "There's no problem here."

He crossed his arms and said, "And since that mind-bending gem is safe with Vision, I'd bet on Wanda if it came down to a fight."

Dr. Strange made a gesture at Wanda. Whatever he saw made him say, "I would too. Even if I was the one in the fight."

Tony stomped his feet and said, "You're supposed to PUNISH her. She's been putting bad thoughts in my head! She has to be."

Everyone looked at Tony. Sam said, "Maybe you and I can get some fresh air and talk about these thoughts you're having."

Steve looked at Clint. When Clint nodded, Steve turned to the two men and said, "You're welcome to stay. I'm sure Wanda would appreciate getting to know others with her kind of abilities. And Loki, maybe you have an update on Thor?"

The Avengers made two new friends that day, and Tony was convinced to go into therapy.

Chapter 99: Tony makes teams dysfunctional

There's a trend in some prop-Tony fics that "the team falls apart w/out Tony." Ironically, someone did a comparison of Marvel functional and dysfunctional teams, pointing out that adding Tony makes the teams dysfunctional. Too bad nobody noticed it sooner.

Note: Set before Avengers 1.

***

Nick Fury and Maria Hill were evaluating their options now that both an Asgardian god and a defrosted supersoldier were available. They had a potential roster of folks to call if something Earth-threatening occurred.

Maria picked up Tony Stark's folder. She said, "So Tony Stark still isn't recommended?"

Nick shook his head and said, "I want to like him, if for no other reason than Howard saved our bacon plenty of times through the years. But Tony Stark...I think Romanov's report says it all."

Maria glanced over at Nick and asked, "Are we really taking Stark completely off the table? He's a genius who can fly while blasting something."

Nick shrugged and said, "We need an actual TEAM. One that can work together and hit the ground running. So yeah, instead of a multitool that breaks everything it touches, I'd prefer a couple extra wrenches and screwdrivers. Makes the tool belt a little heavier, but I'm more likely to get the job done."

Maria nodded and said, "I'll make some calls."

***

Phil brought Leo Fritz, Jemma Simmons, and Colonel James Rhodes to the helicarrier in place of Tony Stark. Nick Fury was right: Without all the distraction of Tony Stark's ego and "humor," the team stayed calm and focused. They were able to prevent Clint's attack on the helicarrier and figured out that Loki was likely to use Stark Tower to open the portal.

Tony Stark suffered some blast marks to his tower and a massive blow to his ego when he realized he wasn't invited to the Avengers party.

Chapter 100: Howard’s disappointment in Tony had nothing to do with Steve

It's interesting that so many prop-Tony writers blame Tony's harsh treatment of Steve on Howard. They blow the single line "the guy my dad kept going on about" into this weird pity party where Howard viewed Steve as a perfect son (ignoring Howard was younger than Tony when Steve knew Howard) and constantly told Tony to be like Steve.

What a crock. Civil War showed exactly what Howard thought of Tony--disrespectful, lazy, negligent--and still he had hope for Tony. None of that had to do with Steve, just Tony's many shortcomings. What if someone pointed that out?

Note: Set during the "should have left him in the ice" scene of Avengers 1.

***

Tony sneered at the walking American flag as Cap left the lab. Then he decided he had more to say, so he followed Cap out into the corridor.

Suddenly he was shoved into an office. He stared at Phil Coulson and said, "What the hell?"

Coulson looked at Tony for a long moment, then said, quietly, "Steve Rogers has lost almost every person and place important to him. He was on a battlefield two weeks ago, and now he's about to participate in a brand new type of war. Can't you give the man any slack?"

Tony moved away from Coulson and said, "I suffered all my life because of Rogers. My dad compared me to Rogers every damn day of my life. I could never measure up."

Coulson leaned back and crossed his arms. He asked, "Is that what you tell yourself? That Rogers was the problem?"

Tony's eyes narrowed as he asked, "What do you mean?"

Coulson said, "Shield has a lot of footage of Howard Stark, along with his journals and conversations. He did complain about you throughout the 80s until right before he died. But it was all about YOU. Your lack of respect for other people's time and talents. The way you didn't bother to listen to anyone but yourself. And the way you didn't seem to acknowledge just how easy you always had it. None of it was about comparing you to anyone except the man your father believed you could become--if you got your head out of your ass. THAT'S what disappointed him."

He moved to the door, as he stepped into the corridor, Coulson looked back and said, "And even if Howard HAD compared you to Rogers, what does that have to do with Rogers himself? He was never there."

As Coulson left, Tony gritted his teeth at Agent's presumption. But some small part of him acknowledged that his dad had plenty to be disappointed about when it came to Tony.

And maybe still did.

Chapter 101: Steve is an effective commander

It's bizarre to me that so many prop-Tony writers ignore that Steve led a highly effective unit in World War 2. Or worse, they pretend that Steve had nothing to do with the group's success. In one of these gems, Rumlow and Tony trash Steve's record as if THEY were somehow in WW2. And as if Steve's plans didn't work in the modern day--HIS team would have won in Wakanda if Tony hadn't been dumb enough to take the Time Stone to Titan. And Steve's assignments for the team in Avengers 1 and his orders to Wanda and Pietro in Korea in Avengers 2 were successes. The funny thing is, I think one story had Rumlow duping Tony into helping Hydra. Which is actually more likely, because Tony has played the fool before.

Note: Paraphrasing some of the actual ridiculousness of the originals. Set before Winter Soldier.

***

Rhodey wondered if it was luck or fate that caused him to be in the right place at the right time. He was behind Tony's bar after they'd finished lunch together. Tony thought Rhodey had left, but Rhodey realized his engraved pen was missing and thought it might have fallen out when he was digging in the mini-fridge.

He heard an unfamiliar voice say, "Brock Rumlow, Shield Alpha Strike Team. Thanks for seeing me."

Tony replied, "No problem. Got to admit I'm a little peeved Nick sent an errand boy instead of coming himself."

Rhodey muffled a snort. He wondered just what Tony thought the Shield Director did with his time.

Rumlow said, "Well, I volunteered for this mission. I really wanted to meet Iron Man."

Rhodey rolled his eyes.

Tony said, "Well then, have a seat. I'm kind of surprised that I'm your superhero crush, considering you've got Hawkeye, Black Widow, and the Star Spangled Man on your roster."

There were sounds of leather creaking as the men sat down. Rhodey thought about mentioning he was still here, but instead he sat down on the tiles and continued listening.

Rumlow laughed and said, "Oh sure, they're all pretty to look at. But they don't hold a candle to Tony Stark."

He continued, "I know that YOU'RE the one who really tries to help people. Fury knows as well. Hawkeye and Widow are just following orders. And Cap...well, you know his problems."

Rhodey blinked and wondered if Tony was actually buying this crap.

Tony said, "Enlighten me."

Rumlow settled into his seat and said, "First off, Captain America didn't actually LEAD most of those missions he got the credit for. The Howling Commandos did the work. Cap walked into the middle of danger and the others just charged into the kill zone right after him because he'd rescued them. It was luck and the combo of personalities and skills the Howlies had that saved their bacon."

Rhodey actually turned to look over his shoulder to see how Rumlow was keeping a straight face, but of course he only saw the bar cabinets. He couldn't believe that Rumlow actually believed what he was saying. Steve Rogers' ability to put the right people at the right place at the right time to make a plan succeed was legendary. Especially for the troops out in the field. How could Tony not know that?

Tony said, "Sounds like you're not a fan of your teammate."

Rumlow said, "It's frustrating, seeing the awed faces. I mean, yeah, Cap's got the looks and the charisma, but that doesn't mean he's the right guy for the job. He should be in the Delta Squad with the other losers. Not in Alpha Strike. We're all about discipline and security. Structure and roles and following orders. Especially when the RIGHT person is giving orders."

Tony asked, "And what job does the One-Eyed Wonder think I'm the right guy for?"

Rumlow replied, "It's big. And also secret--Hawkeye, Widow, Cap, they're all in the dark. It's called Project Insight."

***

Part of Rhodey loved the idea of taking out the bad guys before they could do more damage. But Rumlow's obvious lies about Rogers and Rumlow's sucking up to Tony made Rhodey VERY suspicious. So he took action.

So in this universe, Nick Fury knew he might be targeted. Which meant he wasn't actually injured when they faked his death. Rhodey and Sam joined Steve, Natasha, Nick, and Maria to prevent the helicarriers from even being launched.

Bucky didn't break the Winter Soldier programming until after he tried to attack Steve at a safehouse. Fortunately, it took a lot less damage before he snapped back to himself. He was able to provide the locations and identities of the surviving Hydra members, so the cleanup was complete.

Tony sulked that he wasn't included in the takedown. Rhodey pointed out that Tony had been fooled into helping with a weapon that was programmed to kill him. And that Steve was more than a figurehead, because Steve's plan to save the day worked--again.

Chapter 102: Phil Coulson always respected Steve

There's a bizarre prop-Tony story where Phil suddenly decides he hates Steve because Steve didn't support the Sokovia Accords (and didn't let himself be ordered around by Tony). Another one has Phil babysitting some de-aged Avengers and makes Steve think he has to apologize for "being mean," as if STEVE was shooting unarmed people and mutilating a man he knew was innocent. As far as I'm aware Phil in all his forms liked and respected Steve Rogers.

Note: Set after Civil War. Rhodey and Scott are elsewhere.

***

Phil knew that there would be hell to pay when the Avengers all grew up again. But his team was the best bet to keep the Avengers safe until then.

He was amazed at how different some of them were. Sam was shyer than he expected, while Wanda was louder. Romanov and Barton were still pals, giggling together in a way Phil was sure they'd rarely been able to in their real childhoods.

Phil frowned as he saw Tony pushing at Steve. Steve had his head up and jaw firm, but there were tears in his eyes.

As Phil came closer, he heard Tony saying, "And it's all YOUR fault. You could have just signed and everything would have been just fine. But no, you had to do what you want and dragged everyone into a big mess. You're SO MEAN!"

Phil asked, "What do you think you're talking about, Tony?"

Tony blinked up at Phil and suddenly looked shifty. He said, "I, uh, I was doing some research."

Phil said, "We asked you not to do that until we could make sure the computers were secure."

He shook his head and signaled his team. They would have to move out now and hope no one was able to trace the signal to the safehouse. Phil also asked Daisy to make sure Tony was locked out of everything--apparently even at this age he couldn't be trusted.

When Tony stomped off to sulk, Phil got down on one knee so he could be on Steve's level. He was astounded such a fragile-looking boy managed to survive to adulthood, much less make it through boot camp.

Steve blinked a few times, then quietly asked, "Is Tony telling the truth? Is it all my fault?"

Phil sighed and let one hand rest gently on the boy's shoulder. He said, "No Steve. Tony is...Tony doesn't bother to see anything except himself. He didn't like a choice you and the others made. That doesn't mean it was the wrong choice."

Steve's brow furrowed as he thought about it. Then he said, "So I didn't drag everyone into things?"

Phil remembered the recordings of events around the Accords fiasco. He shook his head and said, "No, just the opposite. You told everyone that they had to make their own choices. And you respected their decisions, even when you didn't agree with them."

He straightened a little and said, "I've read a lot about you, Steve. And I can tell you this: You've always had my respect. You still do."

Steve looked away and blushed. Then he turned back, took a deep breath, and said, "Thank you. That helps--a LOT. I--I respect you too."

As Steve ran off to play with Wanda and Sam, Phil couldn't help smiling.

Chapter 103: Tony never treated the Avengers like close friends

Sooooo many fics claim Tony was betrayed by his "close friends" the Avengers and/or his "best friend" Steve. I can't understand what they're basing their impressions on, because nearly every interaction with Tony Stark is unpleasant for all involved, and there's no evidence the Avengers spent much time together outside missions. (Considering how Tony treats his ACTUAL friends, honestly friendship doesn't seem to mean much to Tony anyway.)

What if Tony actually tried to make that claim?

Note: Set after Civil War.

***

Tony was in the Widow's room at the compound, tossing items that belonged to her into a cart. He'd clear out ALL of the traitors' rooms and turn the pile of trinkets into a bonfire. He was planning to use one of his gauntlets to light it up, right in the middle of the yard.

Or maybe he'd use Cap's shield to strike some sparks--it had to be good for something.

Suddenly Vision phased through a wall. Tony did NOT squeak.

Vision asked, "What are you doing?"

Tony sneered as he said, "The rats are gone. I'm burning their nest."

Vision frowned and said, "I do not understand why your demeanor is so hostile. You were not a determining factor in the choices made by the others."

Tony crossed his arms and said, "I treated them like close friends--like FAMILY. And they stabbed me right in the heart with their betrayal."

Vision frowned as he seemed to be reviewing information. Then he asked, "I do not have any evidence of your assertion."

Tony frowned and asked, "What?"

Vision replied, "I possess the memories of the Jarvis program as well as my own experiences. I do not find any incidents that provide evidence of 'close friends' or 'family' involving you."

He continued, "There are no moments where you listened to someone's troubles or offered aid in overcoming same. During missions, your method of interactions seems to consist of misnaming teammates and referring to their experiences in a sarcastic matter. Other than the consumption of shwarma and the retrieval of the scepter and subsequent 'revels,' the amount of time spent in the company of the former Avengers outside of missions measures in single digits, with the except of Dr. Banner, who left before the Sokovia Accords were drafted."

Vision spread his hands and said, "I compare these experiences to my time with the Avengers after your retirement. Conversation did NOT involve mocking experiences, or in my case, lack of experience. Activities unrelated to missions were varied and engaged some or all members in conversation, laughter, and non-sexual touching. Time together measured in the thousands."

He then regarded Tony closely and said, "I do not believe you have supported your assertion."

With a large step forward, Vision took control of the cart. He said, "The destruction of personal items belonging to others is not legal. I will guard my friends' possessions until I can arrange for their safe removal from this facility."

As Vision pushed the cart away, he paused and said, "I will inform Colonel Rhodes of your plan, and my prevention of it."

Tony winced as he realized exactly how his rant was going to sound to Rhodey. And Pepper. And Happy.

Maybe he'd go abroad for awhile. There was that invitation to a wedding in India...

Chapter 104: Tony and Bucky weren't "just working their issues out" when Steve "interfered and beat Tony up"

To suggest Tony beating and mutilating Bucky was just "working their issues out" is just ridiculous. Bucky's only issue with Tony was that Tony was trying to KILL Bucky. And to do anything except applaud Steve for interfering with Tony's murder attempt--which took destroying the arc reactor to stop--just shows that prop-Tony folks really think murder is okay if Tony does it, and that Tony was some poor baby in a diaper instead of a cold-blooded attacker wearing a flying tank.

What if TONY tried to give the prop-Tony version of events?

***

Pepper had warned him not to go on this talk show, but she was keeping them "on a break" so he ignored her.

After some chit-chat, the nerdy-looking host said, "Now, we've talked about the big picture of the Sokovia Accords and your support of them. But now I'd like us to get really personal. We've got some footage here that suggests that Iron Man went mano-a-mano with Captain America. I'd like to get some context."

Tony's gut tightened as the host gestured to a screen. On it the fight in the bunker played out. Tony frowned at how brutal it looked. He was relieved they stopped before Barnes' arm got cut off.

The host folded his hands and asked, "So what exactly is going on here?"

Tony looked around the silent studio. With all the people around he wasn't able to order Friday to scrub their servers and destroy the interview footage. He cleared his throat, leaned back, and said, "Well, you have to understand that this was an emotional moment. I was in shock, and did you know I have untreated PTSD? Right, well..."

He sat forward and continued, "This wasn't really between me and Cap. Not at all. The Winter Soldier and I were just--we were just working out some issues. Yeah, and Cap stuck his patriotic nose where it didn't belong."

Tony nodded to himself and said, "He should have just stayed out of it."

The host glanced over to someone else--probably a producer or a network suit. At that person's nod, the host said, "Well, Mr. Stark, I'm going to need you to explain that a little more. Because as far as I can see, what you call 'working out some issues' is more one-sided than that. More that you're the attacker. And your victim isn't the Winter Soldier, but James Buchanan Barnes--the WW2 veteran and POW. He spends most of his time trying to run away."

Tony's jaw set but he didn't reply.

The host continued, "As for the accusation of meddling, it would seem more that Steve Rogers is preventing you from committing grievous assault and quite probably outright murder. Are you suggesting that Captain Rogers should NOT have tried to prevent the murder you were attempting to commit? If so, what should he have done instead?"

Tony said, "You don't understand the severe shock--what I'd just witnessed."

The host replied, "We do have the whole event, Mr. Stark. While the footage you were shown was indeed distressing, that does not seem to justify the level of violence and damage YOU inflicted on Sergeant Barnes."

Tony leaned forward and said, "What about the damage inflicted on ME? My arc reactor was smashed!"

The host said, "ONLY your arc reactor, Mr. Stark. Unless you are claiming injuries that were not evident in the footage or your later activities. We have ALL of your actions on tape, Mr. Stark."

The host shrugged and asked, "Should we roll it?"

Tony frowned and looked around again. Then he stood up and walked out of the studio, wondering when and where else the footage of his murder attempt would be playing. And what would happen when Pepper and the others saw it.

Chapter 105: There is no "Iron Family"

Quite a few IronDad fics talk about a post-Endgame "Peter Stark" being accepted into Tony's family. There is ZERO evidence of that. It's funny how Tony had time to record his farewell speech, but didn't take a second to consider what could happen to Peter (or anyone else) if they did bring back the Snapped. Peter was stuck finding his own lawyer, and from what I can tell Tony didn't leave Peter a dime and Pepper didn't step in to help. Worse, some fics claim the "Iron Family" includes the Barton kids and Harley as well. As if Tony actually cared for any of them either.

***

Foggy shook his head as the last group left the conference room. He said to Matt, "We're not going to make a penny on this case, are we?"

Matt sighed and nodded. He said, "Maybe they can spare a little something, but both Keener and the Parkers seem pretty hard up."

Foggy said, "It's funny, all those murals to Stark and all those people singing his praises...I mean, I'm glad people are back, but..."

Matt asked, "But?"

Foggy put his papers down and said, "The guy was worth BILLIONS. Even after everything that happened. And at least according to those two kids, Stark supposedly cared about them."

Matt said, "Well that may be what they were TOLD to believe, but actions do speak louder than words. And Stark's LACK of action when it came to including those two in his will or final testament pretty much says everything."

Foggy nodded and said, "Yeah. I know SO many people who didn't change their wills, or made sure they handled the "what if folks come back" scenario. But this supposed genius didn't leave ANY money to those kids..."

Matt said, "Well, maybe we can get them SOMETHING from the estate. Even if it is a long shot. Tony Stark should pay SOMETHING. And if we couldn't get him to face his responsibilities in life...maybe we can force his estate to in death."

Foggy said, "Maybe somebody could paint over some of those murals with the truth of Stark's selfishness."

Matt tilted his head. It was an interesting idea.

Chapter 106: Tony is NOT the grandfather of Wanda and Vision’s kids

This is really creepy. Tony interned Wanda, saw her in inhumane conditions on the Raft and did NOTHING to protest it, and referred to her as a WMD. Tony cared so little about Vision that he didn't bother to warn Vision that the Mind Stone may be targeted. Yet some prop-Tony "genius" thinks Tony is the grandfather of their kids. Yikes.

Note: Set in an AU where Vison, Natasha, and Tony were restored in Endgame and Wanda and Vision's kids were not a result of the hex, but some other magical event.

***

Tony had already made SO many plans. The two buns in the Witch's oven would NOT call him Granddad, Gramps, Pop-Pop or anything else that showed Tony's age. They could call him Pops.

He had already built a suite for them in all of his houses. With their new playroom close to his lab so he could have time with the grandkids without having to deal with the parents. He still had issues with the way the Witch and Vision betrayed him.

Tony was sure he could keep his sarcastic comments about traitors to a minimum. Kids don't notice things like that anyway.

He was expecting an invitation to the shower any day now. Maybe even a request to be a godparent as well as a grandparent.

***

Instead of an invitation, Tony gets a visit. From Vision alone.

Tony sat in a chair and said, "Run that by me again."

Vision cleared his throat and said, "Wanda found out about your...presumption of a relationship with our offspring. She and I concur that while you may have created the Jarvis program, that does not provide you with any rights. At this time, we do not welcome your presence at any of the events surrounding the twins' arrival. I have removed all surveillance by Friday as well. Stalking is illegal, as is trespassing."

He stood to leave and said, "I suspect the punishments for those crimes would be far easier than what Wanda will do if you attempt to spy on us or force an association between you and our children."

Vision stepped close to Tony and said, "And that does not even take into account what I am capable of doing."

With a nod, Vision pivoted and walked out the door.

Chapter 107: Tony should blame Team Iron Man for Rhodey's injury, not Sam or Team Cap

It's amazing to me how prop-Tony folks justify Tony shooting an unarmed Sam. They also blame Team Cap for Rhodey's injury by ignoring that Rhodey ordered the shot, Vision fired it, and Tony shot the medic who was coming (unarmed) to help. Some people suggest Tony made Rhodey's injury worse by moving him.

***

Rhodey didn't actually think about the airport in the first months of his recovery. He was focused on healing and regaining as much of his life as he could.

Tony was focused on that as well--for a while. Then he started focusing on something else.

Maybe it was more someone else: "Team Crap." At least, that's what Tony called them. He ranted for hours about Wanda, Sam, Natasha, Clint, Ant-Guy, Barnes...but especially Steve.

Rhodey put up with hearing about how much they'd all "betrayed" Tony by not signing the Sokovia Accords. He ignored it every time Tony claimed they'd all come crawling back to Tony as soon as they ran out of money.

Personally, Rhodey doubted it. He'd heard too much about how some of them grew up to believe they couldn't handle equipping and supplying themselves.

But one day Tony went too far. He said, "They deserve to rot in prison for what they did to you."

Rhodey actually paused the movie he was watching and asked "What are you talking about?"

Tony gestured at the wheelchair and said, "Isn't it obvious?"

Rhodey said, "No, so you'd better explain it."

Tony stood up and said, "It's all CAP'S fault you're in that chair."

Rhodey frowned and asked, "How do you figure that? VISION shot me. In case you didn't notice, he was on YOUR team, Tony."

He was even honest enough with himself to admit HE was the one who ordered Vision to take the shot. Given what happened to the War Machine suit, Rhodey was glad the beam hadn't hit Sam. Rhodey wasn't sure Sam would have survived long enough to hit the dirt. And Sam had no armor on...

Tony said, "Wilson should have gone down."

He crossed his arms and continued, "At least the jerk STAYED down after I--"

Rhodey's eyes narrowed when Tony cut himself off. He asked, "After you what?"

Tony got up and said, "Forget it." He left the room.

Rhodey said, "Friday, show me footage of the fight at Liepzig."

He winced at the fight between Steve and the Panther. And wondered about who the Spider-Guy was--the person in the suit sounded really young.

It was strange to watch himself as he told Vision to take the shot, Sam dodged, and Rhodey himself got hit. He saw Sam turn back and try his best to catch Rhodey.

Rhodey almost ended the recording when he saw his body hit the dirt, but he kept going. He watched Sam land and approach with open hands. His jaw dropped as he saw Tony say something and then shoot Sam. Sam flipped and landed in the dirt.

Seeing Sam unconscious on the ground made Rhodey realize that Sam could have ended up in a wheelchair himself that day.

Rhodey also watched Tony move Rhodey's body. He couldn't know if that shift did any more damage, but he wondered...

It was a good thing Tony was leaving the country for some event in India. Rhodey needed time to decide what he would say the next time they met.

Chapter 108: Loki would never kill all of Team Cap as a gift for Tony

A prior prop-Tony writer had Loki kill Bucky in his cryotube to punish Steve for his "crimes" against Tony. This one went even further and had Loki kill all of Team Cap as a token of his love for Tony. Makes you wonder about people...

Note: Set in an AU where neither Ragnarok nor Infinity War happened.

***

Loki was bored. He thought making Stark break up with his girlfriend to lavish gifts upon Loki would be worth the tedium of spending time with the mortal.

He was wrong. It was time to break up with Stark and move on to something less awful, like getting a tooth pulled.

Loki laid on the uncomfortable couch in Stark's penthouse and pondered a last prank for Stark to remember him by.

***

Tony was grinning ear to ear. He looked up at Loki and said, "You killed all of them, for me?"

Loki set the small orb down and said, "And recorded it--just for you."

Tony stared at the images flickering in the air, of Team Cap dead on a cave floor. Each face was twisted into a scream of horror. He said, "I'll treasure this. FINALLY, Cap and his crew get exactly what they deserve."

Loki rolled his eyes as Stark began another diatribe about how he'd been "betrayed" and "abandoned." He said, "Anyway, consider it a parting gift." Then he waved his hand and disappeared.

But Loki also made sure "Team Cap" saw EXACTLY what kind of reaction Stark had to their "deaths." He hoped the orb was nearby when Stark found out it was all an illusion so it would record Stark's reaction.

That would be something to see.

Chapter 109: Tony’s guilty feelings mean nothing--his actions show he never reforms

“I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts”--John Locke

There's a theory that this quote shows how Tony's feelings of guilt or remorse are lip service, because his actions show otherwise. It seems to be true, because most of the time it's prop-Tony folks CLAIMING Tony is wracked by guilt. Often he doesn't even SAY he feels guilty--and he certainly doesn't DO anything after privatizing his weapon-making in Iron Man 1. (Obviously his signing the Sokovia Accords were a sham, given how he broke them before the ink was dry.) He stopped selling weapons, but he did not stop making them, and he didn't suffer any consequences for his negligence--he didn't lose his company or his billions, and he certainly didn't give away his money to make reparations to the people who were hurt by his two decades of negligence. We know that he didn't apologize to ANYONE for any of his actions in Age of Ultron, Civil War, or Infinity War. What would happen if someone realized Tony's insincerity early on?

***

Natasha waited until after the new team had gotten settled in at the compound. She and Steve had agreed that they would have to help Vision and Wanda especially, as he got used to...everything, and she dealt with the loss of her brother and her home.

Both she and Steve knew what it was like to start your life again with nothing.

Now Natasha sat with Steve sat on the couch and talked about the future over a cup of tea. Part of Natasha wanted to keep quiet--she knew how easy it was to for things to go wrong. But a bigger part of her wanted to keep her family safe.

Natasha turned her cup around in her hands. Then she looked up at Steve. As soon as he caught her glance, he sat up and focused. He knew she had something important on her mind.

She said, "In the Red Room, we studied Western culture. It was a good way to blend in."

Steve nodded.

She continued, "There's a quote from a philosopher--John Locke--that I've always remembered: I have always thought the actions of men are best interpreters of their thoughts. From the way I saw men smile at their wives before leering at me, I would have to agree."

Natasha leaned forward and put her mug on the table. She turned to Steve and said, "I don't think I can ever trust Tony again."

Steve set his mug down as well. He turned more fully to her and asked, "What do you mean?"

She replied, "I don't like what his actions are telling me. I've known him for quite a while. I don't think we can assume he's going to do the right thing--or even know what that is."

Steve leaned forward and said, "I trust your judgment--and I agree. Tony didn't even acknowledge that he made the wrong call with lying to us and uploading Ultron."

He shook his head and said, "But part of me wonders if I'm judging Tony too harshly because I knew--and trusted--Howard. What are you suggesting we do?"

Natasha shrugged and said, "Nothing--for now. I just know that it's true that actions speak louder than words, so we keep an eye on his actions and see what they tell us."

Steve nodded, then leaned back and smiled. He said, "Thanks. Somehow I feel better about the future."

***

Two years later, both of them remembered that conversation when they saw Tony standing next to Thaddeus Ross and demanding that THEY needed to be put in check. With Steve and Natasha both realizing Tony was again giving lip service instead of taking responsibility, they were determined to convince the others that it would be better to stand united against the Sokovia Accords. In this universe, they got a happy ending.

Chapter 110: Tony was on the wrong side of history

Boy this is definitely true for a LOT of reasons. Not just for the Sokovia accords, but for pretty much everything his character does. One of the later Marvel directors pointed out that the Iron Man films wouldn’t be made today. Tony Stark’s a relic of the past and should have been called out years ago instead of being allowed to sail through every film after Iron Man 1 without consequences.

***

Christine Everhart smiled at the camer and said, “Thanks for tuning in. Well, it’s official. The Sokovia Accords have finally been repealed.”

Darcy nodded and said, “It’s about time. I'm pretty sure every enhanced person on the planet is breathing a sigh of relief. Now they can rest knowing that they won't be dragged from their beds and thrown into a secret underwater prison simply for existing.”

Christine nodded and said, “Looking back, it’s obvious that most of ‘Team Iron Man’ dumped their allegiance to the Accords. Natasha Romanov rejected them at the airport in Liepzig the same day, while Vision left some time later. James Rhodes told off Thaddeus Ross before joining Team Captain America at the Battle of Wakanda.”

Darcy nodded and said, “The way I heard it, Romanov told Stark that they had ‘played it wrong’. Spider-man, from what we've discovered, that hero was actually Stark’s CHILD soldier. The poor kid didn't even KNOW about the Sokovia Accords, much less be able to consent to them.”

Christine said, “As for T’Challa, he violated the Accords the same time Tony Stark did by flying unauthorized to Siberia. He also hid his crimes and didn’t denounce the Accords, but we will give him points for helping a severly injured Bucky Barnes escape from Tony Stark. And for opening his country to Team Cap when they were trying to protect Vision and the Mind Stone from Thanos.”

Darcy said, “But Stark’s wrong-headedness was obvious from the start.”

Christine glanced at Darcy and said, “Tell me about it. I can tell you about how he treated women from his first outing until almost his last.”

Darcy said, “Not to mention the rape jokes.”

She shuddered and continued, “Plus he spent an entire lifetime not caring about who his weapons hurt. Not just for the 20 years he was selling missiles, but also his AIs that spy on everyone and blow anyone away.”

Christine frowned and said, “Plus we now know about what REALLY happened when the Snap became the Blip. There’s already folks wiping out the Iron Man murals and pulling down the statues. Turns out Bruce Banner, also known as Dr. Hulk, brought everyone back. Tony Stark was the one who made sure we have all of the shortages and overcrowding we’re now experiencing--and still have all the trauma and deaths in the wake of the Snap.”

Darcy shook her head and said, “The history books are already being updated. Natasha Romanov had it right years ago. Tony Stark was not recommended. And now we know exactly why.”

Chapter 111: Tony is the one who ruined the plan on Titan

This is another one where the prop-Tony folks don't recognize irony. It's bizarre to me that Tony is yelling at or blaming Peter Quill for ruining the plan to stop Thanos, when it’s TONY who left his post to go yell at Quill instead of holding open the gauntlet. (Or Tony who failed to use his “nano blade” to slice Thanos’s arm off, or does Tony only do that to traumatized POWs?) If Tony had just left things alone (AGAIN), the Snap wouldn't have happened. And why condemn Quill for reacting to finding out about Gamora but excuse Tony for overreacting to finding out the cause of the deaths of his parents, which he had decades to deal with?

Note: Set in an AU where Tony doesn’t get a chance to make his Hydra rant about “precious freedoms.”

***

As Rocket looked over Nebula for injuries, he asked, “What the hell happened out there?”

Tony immediately said, “It wasn't my fault! I had the perfect plan, but that reject ‘Star’ Lord screwed it up. I get that his girlfriend bit the dust. But that was NO reason for him to screw up everything. It's all HIS fault.”

Nebula shook her head. She said, “That’s not what happened. Yes, Quill was upset. But we had Thanos under control. We almost had the gauntlet off. Until YOU left your post to lecture Quill.”

She frowned and continued, “If you had simply done your job we would've succeeded. Maybe...maybe we could have even got Gamora back somehow.”

Nebula gestured to Tony’s injury and said, “Or you could have used your blade to cut off Thanos’ hand. Instead you ruined everything and your weapon was used against you.”

Tony glared and said, “Traitor.” Then he stomped out of the room.

Chapter 112: Steve chose Bucky over Tony--and that's a good thing

Well, duh. On the one hand you have an innocent man who’s been brainwashed and tortured for 70 years--and whom you've known your whole life. On the other you have a reckless multibillionaire who is casually cruel to everyone and has stated he DOESN’T care that the victim of his misplaced rage is innocent. And the jerk WILL NOT STOP ATTACKING. It’s pretty clear who should be saved. (And pretty pathetic that prop-Tony folks pretend there's a problem with that--that it’s CAP’S and BUCKY’S fault Tony tries to commit cold-blooded murder...)

***

Tony paced around the living room of his penthouse. Every so often he'd start muttering again. Rhodey and Pepper looked at each other as Tony circled them again. This time they could hear him saying, “How dare he! How dare he! He chose that cyborg over me.”

Peppers stepped into Tony's path and asked, “What are you talking about?”

Tony threw up his hands and said, “That ingrate! How dare he! After all I’ve done, Cap chose that--that TERMINATOR over me.”

Rhodey leaned back in his wheelchair and asked, “What? The airport? Cap had a mission. It had nothing to do with choosing Barnes or anyone.”

Tony waved his arms and said, “No no no not then, later. That jerk didn’t tell me that his frozen friend killed my parents. And THEN he stopped me getting my revenge--if Cap had just chosen ME and let me do what I wanted, then everything would be fine now. But noooooo, Captain Righteous had to pick his brainwashed buddy.”

Rhodey and Pepper looked at each other again and frowned. Pepper crossed her arms and asked, “When exactly this happen Tony? And where exactly?”

Rhodey said, “We had NO mission orders after Liepzig, Tony. So yeah, I think we need to know when and where this meetup happened. And where and when you violated the Sokovia Accords.”

Tony suddenly looked shifty. He backed away and said, “The point is that Cap chose the Winter Soldier--over ME!”

Rhodey shook his head and said, “What I don't understand is why you think that Cap should ever have chosen you. Exactly how much time did you spend with him or any of the others these last few years, and exactly how much of that time were you NOT making fun of him? I'm shocked that you think there's a universe in which Steve Rogers would EVER choose you.”

Pepper and said, “Think about it. How much time have you even spent with US rather than your suits and your robots. Especially without bragging about yourself or making fun of us? I can't figure out why anyone would choose you. I don't know why I did all those years. So let’s make that break-up permanent.” She turned around and left.

After a moment, Rhodey folded his arms and said, “So...back to business. Where and when exactly did all this go down?”

Chapter 113: Without Afghanistan, Tony would never have changed

This makes sense. Tony spent almost 20 years in the same pattern of partying and ignoring his responsibilities, even when he was almost 40 years old. He didn't even innovate very much from what I've read, he was doing the bare minimum to stay ahead of the competition. And he certainly never gave a damn about anybody except himself until forced to by his experiences in Afghanistan. (Even that was temporary. By the next film, he's back to being selfish and reckless. The pattern continues throughout his appearances.)

***

Stephen Strange, Wong, and Jennifer Walters were with Bruce at his bar, discussing the multi-verse. Jennifer said, “So the places you went, they were almost exactly like our world, right?”

Bruce nodded and said, “At least for the mission to get the stones, we were just tweaking one little thing by landing there for a few moments and then in their view, putting the stones right back.”

Jennifer propped her chin on her hands and said, “But there are other versions of Earth that WEREN’T so similar. That just blows my mind.”

Stephen nodded and said, “What I’ve seen--things can go very differently, good and bad. A lesson in unintended consequences.”

Wong asked Stephen, “Did you get a chance to get an impression of any of the other universes? Because I had a quick moment in a very interesting one.”

Strange shook his head and gestured for Wong to continue.

Wong said, “Apparently there's at least one universe where Tony Stark never went to Afghanistan.”

Bruce said, “So no Iron Man?”

Wong nodded and replied, “That's the way it looked. Stark was just a party boy until he died of liver failure sometime in his 40s.”

Jennifer said, “I can’t imagine it--what was that world like?”

Wong said, “Certainly a lot pleasanter than this one--they seemed to have had a much easier time of it."

Bruce nodded and said, "I'm sorry to say it, but Tony didn't really change even WITH Afghanistan. He still thought he had the only answer and that he shouldn't have to answer to--or even consider--anybody else. So it makes sense that the world would be better off if he never became Iron Man. No Ultron, no Sokovia Accords--”

Wong glared at Stephen and said very pointedly, “No taking the Time Stone right to the bad guy.”

He looked back at the others and continued, “So therefore no Snap. And it seems like people were just a lot nicer to each other. The Avengers for certain were happier. I think everybody was.”

Jennifer sighed and said, “That sounds really nice. If only…”

Chapter 114: Tony doesn't understand (or care about) the difference between justice and vengeance

This is definitely something that prop-Tony folks also ignore. Seeking justice is something a hero does. Seeking vengeance is NOT something a hero should do. Tony was very wrong to attack Sam, Steve, and Bucky. Especially when he knew Bucky was brainwashed. But also because Tony KNEW that he wasn't even getting vengeance on the right people. It's kind of like shooting the owner of a stolen car that was used in the getaway of a bank robbery.

***

Tony stopped as he saw Nick Fury sitting behind his desk.

Fury said, “I saw it, and I still can't believe it. I don't WANT to believe it.”

Tony frowned and asked, “What are you talking about?”

Fury made a gesture that caused the images on his tablet to hover in the air.

Tony winced as he saw the Siberia fight. The whole thing was there so he said, “You saw that tape of Barnes killing my father. And he killed my mother. I had to punish him--he deserved to die.”

Fury shook his head and said, “Bullshit. You KNEW that Barnes wasn’t actually in charge when he was the Winter Soldier.”

He waved and showed the images of Barnes trying to escape his jail cell--then turning blank as the Winter Soldier. Including the Soldier's encounter with Tony. Fury said, “You saw Barton under Loki’s spell. You also saw Barnes. You KNOW Barnes was also a puppet and someone else held the strings.”

Tony clenched his fists and said, “My parents deserve justice.”

Fury nodded and said, “Yep. So why the hell were you wasting your time attacking the WRONG person?”

Tony snapped, “Because he was the only one there.”

Fury said, “THAT’S your excuse?” He sat up and continued, “Yeah, you’re grounded.”

Tony glared and said, “What are you talking about?”

Fury stood up and said, “You used a WMD to attack a man you KNEW wasn’t responsible. You need to be put on a leash. One that has one of those collars that keep bad dogs in line.”

As he passed Tony on the way out, Fury paused and pulled the phone from Rogers out of Tony's pocket. Then Fury said, “Monitors are now all over the place. I suggest you don’t touch them--unless you'd like me to alert Secretary Ross about your recent activities…”

***

With Tony grounded and Nick Fury and Maria Hill taking an active role in behind the scenes, Dr. Strange contacted THEM when Bruce showed up during the Black Order's visit to New York. Nick IMMEDIATELY warned Steve about Vision. With Peter's help, the group managed to prevent the Time Stone and Strange from being kidnapped. None of them were stupid enough to take the Time Stone off the planet. Of course Thanos was defeated in Wakanda. It was a happy ending for everyone.

Except Tony, wasn’t able to work on Edith or any other projects. Pepper dumped him when she got tired of his endless sulking.

Chapter 115: Steve never tried to kill Tony, but Tony tried to kill Bucky

This is pretty obvious. If Steve had wanted to kill Tony, Tony would be dead. Steve was obviously attacking the suit. He destroyed some of the equipment each time he engaged with Tony. At no time was Steve deliberately trying to injure the man within the suit. In contrast, Tony held down all four of Bucky's limbs, then fired directly at Bucky’s face. He used lasers that cut through concrete, and punched both Steve and Bucky hard enough to dent concrete. Yet prop-Tony folks claim Tony was "holding back," and wail and moan about Tony’s imaginary injuries while ignoring the serious damage Tony did to both Steve and Bucky.

***

Tony pointed at the images and said, “See! Right there! Look at that! Cap was OBVIOUSLY trying to kill me. Anything I did was defending myself.”

Rhodey just laughed and said, “Is that what you tell yourself? If Cap wanted to kill you, you'd be dead. Your dumb ass threw your hands over your face because YOU thought Cap was on the same crazy murder train you were. Do you really think Cap’s aim is so bad that instead of taking your head taking off, he somehow missed and hit your chest by accident?”

He shook his head, then ordered Friday to start from the beginning. Rhodey froze the images at Tony holding down Bucky's arms and legs and then firing at Barnes' head. Rhodey had flinched when Barnes barely jerked his head away in time. Rhodey's voice was quiet as he said, "See, right there. Look at THAT. You were OBVIOUSLY trying to kill Barnes. And you never stopped. Anything Steve and Barnes did was defending themselves against YOU."

Rhodey turned his chair around and said, “I really can't with you anymore. Whatever dreamworld you’re living in, just keep me out of it.”

***

After seeing Tony's true nature, Rhodey made sure that Pepper knew exactly what she was getting into. Pepper revealed an earlier incident involving Tony's armor almost killing Pepper in her bed.

Pepper decided not to go back with Tony. Rhodey withdrew from the Sokovia Accords. He was secretly contacted by the others and ended up getting some help--and a new walking and fighting suit--from Shuri. And a phone of his own from Steve.

Tony tried to whine to the Parker kid about Siberia, but Peter saw the same thing everyone else did--Tony attempting murder and being stopped. Peter decided to ghost Tony.

After Vision left, Tony was the only Accords-approved Avenger. When Bruce landed back on Earth, Doctor Strange quickly explained the Accords, along with Tony working with Thaddeus Ross. Bruce agreed that Doctor Strange should contact Rhodey instead. Rhodey called the others immediately and DIDN'T think it made sense to take the Time Stone to an unknown planet, so Vision was saved, the heroes united in Wakanda, and Thanos was defeated.

Tony was still sulking at home when the Sokovia Accords were abolished and the ex-Avengers returned home in triumph.

Chapter 116: Tony had knowledge, never wisdom

The source for this is an analysis of Tony’s character: Tony needs to feel like he’s saving the world more than he actually needs to save it. He needs to think he's in control of the uncontrollable and won’t allow anyone else to contradict him. He also never notices that his solutions are as much if not more damaging than the things he's trying to prevent--Ultron, Karen, and Edith are prime examples. Tony may be considered smart, but he’s also INCREDIBLY dumb and self-absorbed, showing how knowledge and wisdom are different things.

Have to agree. Tony hasn't shown wisdom in ANY of his activities in the MCU. His self-centeredness and arrogance cause him to think only he can have the solution. He doesn't seek consensus. Tony created Ultron, THEN creates Karen and Edith, still with zero safeguards. He goes off on his own despite signing the Sokovia accords in Civil War, then refuses to call Steve and goes off to Titan with just Dr. Strange and Spider-Man. He was so sure that his armor tech would save the day, yet he in fact was the one hurt by it. And Tony never ever ever learned to be an actual member of the team--he was still dictating things.

***

Tony stood before the pearly gates. He rubbed his hands together and imagined stepping through them and gaining his wings. Sure, dying sucked. But at least he would be able to watch over Pepper and Morgan as he waited for them to join him.

He knew that the guy with the white hair dressed in a white suit with the white wings was an angel. But the guy in the black suit with red hair and sunglasses and black wings, well…

The two guys looked at Tony and looked at each other. Then the angel asked Tony, “What did you learn in this little go around on Earth, Mister Stark?”

Tony frowned and replied, “I learned a lot. I’m a genius. I’m Iron Man. Invented lots of stuff. Got Pepper to marry me and we had a kid. Did I mention I'm a genius?”

Rusty shook his head and said, “Told you.”

Angel sighed and said, “Oh dear, this is awkward. We usually don't let souls get this far if they're not actually getting this far.”

Tony frowned and asked, “What the hell does that mean?”

Rusty chuckled and said, “Fortunately for you, not that either.”

Angel lifted his arms and said, “It’s like this: you were born with brains and ample means to nurture that intellect.”

Rusty shrugged and said, “But having brains isn’t the same as being smart.”

Angel nodded and said, “I’m afraid that is very much true in your case. While you acquired vast knowledge, you’ve shown no signs of wisdom. It seems as though life offered you the same lesson again and again--“

“And AGAIN,” Rusty interrupted.

Angel continued, “But your later actions showed that you never learned. Not even enough to acknowledge your own responsibilities, how your actions affected others, the gravity of the situations that you found yourself in, or a shred of remorse.”

Suddenly a scroll appeared in Rusty’s hand. The two...guys?...seemed to be having a silent debate that looked like a serious staring contest.

Finally they turned back to Tony.

Angel said, “Well. It seems that despite your being a ‘genius,’ we’re putting you into the remedial program. Perhaps this time as you climb your way up the chain, you will learn the difference between knowledge and wisdom.”

Rusty said, “Or the difference between being a decent guy and a bullying jackass.”

Tony frowned and asked, “What does that mean?”

Angel replied, “The good news is you get another chance at life.”

Rusty smirked and said, “Bad news is that you'll be starting out as a slug.”

As Tony felt himself falling back to earth and shrinking down, he thought he heard Angel say, “I must give credit where due: slug is absolutely perfect.”

Chapter 117: The Avengers should've trusted Tony less and not forgiven him so quickly

Boy, this is the truth. If the Avengers had held Tony accountable for his actions in Age of Ultron, the universe would be VERY different.

Note: Set in a universe where Peggy doesn't die during the Accords discussion.

***

Tony had never bothered much with the team since the Sokovia blowup. But he figured they were fine with him walking away after the Ultron fiasco. So when he strolled in with Secretary Ross, he was a little surprised at the cool reception. He lay down on the couch in the back and let Ross give his pitch.

After Ross was gone, Tony listened to the others debate. As the conversation went on, he frowned when no one even bothered looking toward him. He sat up and said, “Well I think--”

Widow cut him off by saying, “I'm not sure what you think actually matters, Tony. I know I don’t care to hear your thoughts on the Accords--or anything else.”

Tony gasped in shock and said, “Excuse me?”

Cap turned to face him and said, “You’re not on the team anymore, remember Tony? You haven’t given a damn about anything we’ve done in YEARS. So we have to wonder exactly why you’re here.”

Widow nodded and asked, “What’s in it for you?”

Tony crossed his arms and ignored the question. He said, “I'm still Iron Man and I think that the Accords need to be signed. After what you people pulled in Lagos--”

The Witch interrupted this time. She said, “They are called the SOKOVIA Accords. That means they are in response to what YOUR Ultron did. Like destroying MY country and killing MY brother.”

Tony glared as he realized he wouldn’t be able to bring up Charlie Spencer to guilt the others into supporting his plan to keep Pepper AND his armor.

Wilson’s eyes narrowed as he said, “The rest of us are active duty, but I don’t even think all of the CURRENT team should get an equal say in this thing.”

He looked at Rhodey and Widow and said, “We’re not enhanced. Same as Stark here. If we sign and don’t like what happens, we can just take off our equipment and walk away. Vision, Wanda, and Steve--they CAN’T do that. And those Accords are saying all of them can be Lojacked like criminals, or locked away with no lawyers or due process. Just because they are who they are.”

Wilson crossed his arms and said, “That's a double standard that sounds too much like recent history for me to EVER agree to.”

Tony frowned as the others looked to be considering Wilson's words.

He shook his head and said, “Look, you don’t get it. If we don’t agree with this now, it'll be done to us later. Just sign the damn thing. We can fix it up with amendments after everyone calms down.”

Cap scoffed and said, “I know I wasn’t around for a lot, but did you ever actually pay attention in history class, Tony? Just look at the U.S. How many YEARS did it take for women, people of color, and other fringe groups to even be acknowledged, must less guaranteed their rights and standing? The Sokovia Accords want to strip enhanced people of the most basic rights, and you want us to AGREE to that in the HOPE that someday the United Nations will change their minds and give them back? Because YOU say so?”

Widow leaned on an elbow and said to Tony, “Considering your promise to Thor that you were only going to STUDY Loki’s scepter, you do understand why you have a credibility problem, right?”

Cap shook his head and stood up. He said, “Any organization that would make these kind of demands is NOT one I want to be part of--or more accurately, completely controlled by.”

Tony frowned and said, “So what are you saying?”

Steve shrugged and said, “The choice was sign or retire. So I guess I'm retired.”

The others stood up one at a time. Even Rhodey.

Tony glared and said, “Even you, Judas?”

Rhodey sighed and said, “Tony, my decision isn’t about you. NONE of that is about you. To ME--To THEM, it matters that you’ve done NOTHING since Sokovia. While we’ve been busting our asses training and keeping the world safe. It also matters to THEM that you lied to get control of the scepter, to get what you wanted. So I don’t blame them for thinking you’re lying AGAIN about the Accords. To get what you want.”

Vision nodded and said, “In analyzing all of the evidence, I would be surprised if anyone ever took your word for anything.”

They left Tony alone in the room, so no one saw him kick the sofa. No one saw him smash up his lab a few hours later when the Avengers (except Iron Man) rejected the Sokovia Accords and called for a public discussion of why the United Nations spent years crafting a secret document stripping rights from enhanced beings, then only gave the world three days to react to it.

The uproar against the Sokovia Accords caused the United Nations to cancel the ratification ceremony. Nobody was there to see Tony flip a desk.

Chapter 118: Tony was never worthy

This started with a prop-Tony person claiming that if ANYONE should be able to lift Mjolnir, it should be Tony. Because he’s “grown SO MUCH and made sacrifice after sacrifice and has been the literal glue keeping the universe together.”

I had to laugh. I don’t know what they were thinking of, but it wasn’t MCU canon. Tony DID do a heroic thing by flying the nuke into the wormhole in the First Avengers, but one act doesn’t make someone worthy. Tony’s arrogance, selfishness, casual cruelty, and recklessness showed time and again he was one of the least-worthy people in the MCU.

According to Jason Aaron (one of the writers of Thor), the measurement or worthiness is how much effort you put in to justify all the faith others put in you. As someone online pointed out, Tony Stark already thinks he’s the savior and the one whose opinion matters most (or is the only one that matters at all). He shows that in both words and actions. What if Tony tried to pick up Mjolnir while fighting Thanos?

***

Things weren’t going well for Tony in the battle against Thanos2. Most of his systems were destroyed or damaged, so he was reduced to bashing at the Titan with his metal fists. Suddenly he noticed Thor’s hammer laying nearby.

He could use some extra firepower right now. So Tony maneuvered the fight toward the hammer, even though he had the feeling Thanos2 was just toying with him.

When the time was right, Tony lunged for Thor’s weapon. Of COURSE Tony was worthy NOW. He was the genius who had saved the day. Well, Lang came up with the idea of using the quantum realm and Banner created the platform to sync their travels. But Tony had come up with the time GPS. He’d sacrificed SO MUCH--telling the others about it after Pepper guilted him into it. So what if Tony had insisted they not change anything about the last five years. He had every right to keep his perfect life. He deserved it.

He was worth it. Just like he was worthy of wielding Thor’s hammer.

Tony made the grab. When Thor’s hammer remained on the ground, Tony’s momentum knocked him so hard into the ground that he knocked himself out. So he didn’t feel Thanos crush him to death a moment later.

Fortunately, Steve was worthy and was able to use Thor’s hammer to save Thor and keep Thanos2 from winning long enough for the portals to open. Nebula and Drax were able to use the gauntlet together to snap Thanos2 and his minions out of existence.

Chapter 119: Tony would not “do absolutely anything” to get Peter back

There are quite a few stories that claim Tony will do ANYTHING to get Peter back--including making a deal with the Devil. A lot of them have Bucky, Yelena, or Dr. Strange dragged along as Tony’s arm candy. None of it is true. Tony never did anything to help until SCOTT figured out a way to get copies of the stones. And even then, Tony had to be guilted into letting the others know he figured out the time GPS. Hardly desperation on Tony's part. But in character, because Tony never seemed to care too much how Peter felt or how he was doing.

Note: Set in an AU where Bucky Barnes was not Snapped. Tony has been inviting Bucky over when Pepper and Morgan are away, trying to persuade Bucky into an affair.

***

Bucky confirmed Stark was in his lab at his cabin. Then he turned on the Wakandan device that put a fake image and location for Stark’s “hidden” cameras and a recording of Bucky sipping and turning pages for the bugs Tony planted. Then he cloaked himself and walked away from his breakfast nook to leave the building.

As he walked by his building, he could see an image of himself in the window reading and drinking coffee.

He wished he was escaping his fake life as Tony Stark’s “partner in waiting” completely. After all, what sane person actually WANTED to spend time with someone who violently attacked you because he was “upset”?

Bucky quickly walked to a closed cafe a few doors away and snuck in the back door. He smiled as he saw the people gathered in the kitchen. Natasha and Steve were chatting as they cooked, while Rocket, Nebula, Scott, and Bruce were going over something on a laptop. Thor was perched on a chair with his head and arms resting on the table, possibly asleep.

Steve looked over and said, “Great to see you, Buck. It’s been too long.”

Bucky smiled and said, “Nice to see you guys, too.”

Natasha smirked and asked, “How are things at the Casa Stark?”

Bucky groaned and said, “PLEASE tell me this will be over soon.”

He pulled out a Wakandan device, put it on the table, and pushed it toward the trio. Bucky said, “I think this is it. Tony was very smug yesterday and saying things like ‘Well of course it took genus like me to solve it’.”

Rocket plugged it in and the science folks started reviewing the info. Rocket nodded and said, “Yeah, Stark did the heavy lifting for us. We should be able to start production on these today.”

Steve and Natasha brought food to the table as he asked, “So how do we want to play this if Tony mentions his prototype to us?”

Bucky frowned and said, “I don't think it's likely. He hasn't even told Pepper, as far as I can tell. If he does come to you, there will be strings attached. He's already certain he's not going to want to reverse time. He doesn’t want his family life to change, or lose his little piece on the side.”

He shuddered as he continued, “I am so tired of feeling like I need to be steam-cleaned or bleached or something.”

Natasha stood up and came over to give him a hug. She said, “I know how that feels. But I'm sure it was worth it.”

Steve said, “It won't be too much longer. As soon as the equipment is ready, we can get you out of there and get on with the mission.”

For Bucky, tomorrow couldn’t be soon enough.

Chapter 120: Clint's family wasn’t affected by the Hydra data dump

The original story for this is so dumb. The team dumped HYDRA files, not Shield files. That’s how Zemo could find a HYDRA mission report on the Starks. Even if Shield files had been dumped, it wouldn’t matter to Clint’s family because they weren’t IN the Shield database. Clint's family was perfectly safe until TONY exposed them in Civil War.
Note: Set between Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron.

***

Of course Tony never bothered looking at the data dump. If he had, he might have decrypted a few files and seen his own last name. But that would've taken up two minutes of his workshop time to order Jarvis to do the work.

But when Jarvis’s usual hacking turned up in an interesting tidbit about one Clinton Francis Barton, Tony had the perfect opportunity to stick it to Captain Crap and the Widow.

He waited until he and Hawkeye were alone to say, “I guess you were pretty mad at Cap and Widow dropping all those files on the internet a few years ago.”

Barton barely looked up from his slice of pizza to say, “Why do you say that?”

Tony shrugged and said, “Well, you never know what was in there. Maybe there’s something about a house on a little farm with a little wife and two or three kids...”

Before Tony could take another breath, Barton wasn’t holding the pizza anymore, because one arm was braced across Tony’s throat while the other held a knife to Tony’s side.

Barton said quietly, “WHERE exactly were you snooping, because that WASN’T in any Hydra or Shield file ANYWHERE.”

Tony could still breathe enough to say, “Jarvis.”

Barton stepped back and said, “I suggest you have Jarvis scrub EVERYTHING you ever learned about ANY of the team. If you want your systems and your hide to stay intact.”

***

Tony didn't realize it, but his little slip saved this universe. Hawkeye kept a much closer eye on Tony after that. When the scepter was captured, he made sure that Thor knew how untrustworthy Tony was. Tony never got to “study” the scepter and Ultron was never unleashed.

Plus Natasha and Clint made sure they had a backdoor monitoring system and a way to block information from Tony and shut down of ALL of Tony’s suits and systems. After all, if Tony wanted to hack other people, then he had no right to complain about being hacked himself.

Chapter 121: Tony was NOT a “physical wreck” after Siberia

This one had Natasha not being smart enough to remove trackers from her outfits, so you can tell the quality of the original gem. It was hysterical just how much Tony had suffered, so I had to paraphrase it.

***

Tony woke up in a hospital bed. He looked around and flexed his limbs. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the bunker floor in Siberia. Staring at the arm and the shield.

He looked around for a sign--to check the local language. He hoped he wasn't in Russia, because he doubted that the people there would be happy to find out Iron Man had completely ignored the Sokovia Accords and international protocols to go on his little illegal jaunt.

Suddenly the door opened and Pepper walked in with Helen Cho. Both looked grim.

Tony asked, “So what's the damage?”

Cho asked, “Damage?”

Tony said, “Yeah--I’m shocked I’m still alive after Cap slammed his shield into my chest. How long was the surgery? I figure he caved in my chest cavity--probably broke my artificial sternum into pieces, not to mention all my ribs. And maybe I even lost my spleen, part of my liver, and a kidney. I’m shocked I didn’t lose ENTIRE LIMBS to frostbite--you probably had to shoot me up with Extremis after Captain Crap left me there alone and comatose to DIE.”

Cho had an odd look on her face as she said, “Your vital signs are stable. You had a few bumps, bruises, and scrapes. Most of them from the fight in Leipzig. The backup reactors in your suit kept your limbs safe until you could be picked up. You fell asleep waiting for your ride.”

Tony blinked. He said, “That can’t be right.”

Cho replied, “If you’d had even a tenth of the damage you described, you would have been dead. I’ll get your discharge papers ready.”

She shared a look with Pepper, then left.

Pepper said, “We viewed the footage from your suit. I have some questions.”

She didn’t give Tony a chance to reply before she shouted, “What the hell were you thinking?”

Her fists clenched as she said, “You signed the Sokovia Accords. You said Iron Man would only go out when the United Nations or Ross called the Avengers. And instead I find out YOU decided YOU could go to Siberia without telling ANYONE--including the countries whose airspace you violated.”

Tony sank back on the pillow. He said, “Bring Cho back. I don’t feel so good.”

Pepper frowned and said, “You probably are going to feel A LOT worse. Ross is waiting outside--along with some VERY angry ambassadors.”

She was right.

Chapter 122: Sam would never say that Steve punches people without considering who he’s hurting

In this prop-Tony gem, Tony and Sam get together and Sam claims that both Howard and Steve punch people without considering who they’re hurting. Considering Tony's the one who shot an unarmed SAM, this is just absurd. Another one had Sam thinking he wished Howard was alive so Sam could point out what a great man Howard’s son became. As if.

Note: Set in an AU where the Accords were quickly abolished.

***

Now that the Accords were repealed and everyone was back in the States, Tony had been dropping subtle hints that Wilson should be Team Stark. Now he was going to try the direct approach. Cap’s sidekick was a handsome man, and sometimes Tony thought Cap was more than a little interested in Wilson.

But TONY would get there first.

He leaned against the bar next to Wilson and said, “You know, Cap has a LOT in common with my father.”

Wilson looked over and said, “You mean beyond growing up poor in New York?”

Tony frowned and said, “YES. Cap has a short fuse--he just starts punching when he feels like it. He doesn’t think about who he might hurt or what kind of damage he’ll do. Dear old dad was the same way.”

He couldn’t read Wilson’s expression as Wilson put down his drink and turned to face Tony.

Wilson said, “Now I don’t know much of anything about your dad. If he really was like that, then that’s a shame. But I DO know Steve, so I also know at least for him, you’re just plain lying.”

He ignored Tony’s gasp and continued, “I’ve seen Steve--unless the situation is urgent, he tries to talk before fighting.”

Wilson looked right at Tony and said, “Unlike YOU, who shot me when I was no threat to you or anybody.”

He moved away, but then turned around to say, “So if not caring who you hurt was your father’s way of doing things, I’d say you’re a chip off the old block.”

Tony scowled as Wilson walked right over to Cap and slid an arm around Cap’s waist.

He didn’t bother to watch as Cap smiled and the two kissed.

At least, he didn’t watch for long.

Chapter 123: Tony was NEVER part of “the team that abides by the rules”

Wow, this is another one that makes me wonder whether prop-Tony folks actually watched the films. Besides the lie that Tony “abides by the rules,” he also allegedly “chose to take responsibility for his actions, chose to work with the people and not dominate over them, accepted the choices [of] 117 countries and valued people over personal agendas.” When did Tony EVER do ANY of that? He may have given lip service to the Sokovia Accords, but actions always speak louder than words.

What if Tony actually DID what this deluded prop-Tony writer claimed?

***

Tony walked up to the podium and looked past the rows of reporters to the back of the room. Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy stood with confused faces.

He cleared his throat and said, “When I first announced I was Iron Man, I never thought I’d be up here again making a confession. But it’s come to my attention that some people who admire me, are telling lies about me. I will NOT be taking questions, but I’d like to set the record straight.”

After a pause, Tony said, “It’s been said that I am someone who follows the rules and takes full responsibility for my actions. That hasn’t been true, ever. I’ve avoided admitting my mistakes--and crimes, really--to avoid consequences. That was true for the almost 20 years I didn’t bother running the company I owned even when I was CEO. And it was true when I decided to use Loki’s scepter to upload my global security program...Ultron.”

The gasps and whispers filled the room, but quickly stopped when Tony continued, “It’s been said I don’t dominate people but instead work with them in harmony. That did NOT happen with Ultron--I lied to Thor and the other Avengers. I told them I wanted to study the scepter, but really I wanted time to use it to upload my program. You all know the results.”

Tony could feel the sweat beading on his forehead as he took a deep breath. He said, “But I didn’t take responsibility for that. If I had, you’d know that it was Tony Stark who unleashed Ultron into the world. Instead, I retired. Then I got bored. So when the Sokovia Accords were presented, I decided that they were the best thing since my last invention.”

He looked directly at Pepper and said, “The Accords were a way to keep being Iron Man and to get back to being the partner of Pepper Potts. Win-win, for me. I’m telling you this because it’s also been said that I valued the will of the people--specifically the 117 countries who ratified the Sokovia Accords--over my personal preferences. But the truth is that I signed the Accords because they would get me something I wanted. And I broke the Accords as soon as I felt like it.”

The room erupted into louder comments and conversation, but Tony raised a hand to quiet them down. He was now avoiding looking at the back of the room as he admitted, “So instead of working with the Avengers--or acknowledging their valid problems with the Sokovia Accords--I tried to bribe or guilt them into signing away their right to choose. And for some of them, their basic civil rights.”

Tony looked at his possibly former friends as he finished, “I’m not going to go into details, but suffice to say that after signing the Sokovia Accords, I did NOT play by those rules. Or even the rules of fair play or common decency, like not shooting unarmed people and not making kids fight your battles for you. But right here, right now, I AM taking responsibility.”

He stood as tall as he could as he announced, “I am Iron Man, and I am withdrawing from the Sokovia Accords.”

As Tony stepped down from the podium, he sagged in relief as Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy hugged him and walked him out of the room. He quietly passed the flip phone to Rhodey--just in case.

He didn’t know what consequences he would have to face for his actions, but this time he WOULD take full responsibility--and accept those consequences.

Chapter 124: Nick Fury would never be angry with Steve for not signing the Sokovia Accords

I don't understand where this prop-Tony “genius” got their theory from. Nobody in the actual Shield was in favor of the Accords, so why would ex-Shield Nick (or Maria) yell at Steve for not signing them?

Note: Set in an AU where Nick and Maria show up during the Accords discussion.

***

Tony was laying on the couch while the others discussed the Accords.

Suddenly he heard Cap say, “Nick, Maria--what are you doing here?”

Tony sat up to see the former Shield officials joining the others. He rubbed his hands together as he said, “It should be obvious. They’re here to tell you to sign the Accords.”

He stood up and walked over as he continued, “It’s obvious--there was always someone else in charge when you were working for Shield, so now they’re here to say how FURIOUS they are that you’re not signing on to let the United Nations be in charge.”

Fury and Hill stared at Tony, then looked at each other.

After a moment, Fury sighed and said to Tony, “Sometimes I wonder if YOU’RE the one who started calling yourself a genius. It should be obvious to you that the Accords are bad news.”

Hill nodded and said, “They’re the SOKOVIA Accords, so some secret group has been drafting them for years without telling you. Then they give you three days to sign or retire--and no chance to make changes, because the ratification ceremony is already set up and the final version is already printed.”

Wilson said, “Exactly! It’s pretty damn shady if you ask me.”

Rhodey tilted his head and said, “You really think this is some kind of plot?”

Widow nodded and said, “Considering Zola implied that Hydra was in WORLD governments, there’s reason to think there may be more behind this than we think.”

The Witch nodded and said, "Pietro and I thought Von Strucker and Liszt were Shield. But you have said they were Hydra."

Cap sat forward and said, “Especially when a group is trying to strip us of our right to choose--AND strip some of us of our civil rights.”

Vision frowned and said, “At first I was ready to follow orders. But you have made me doubt whether we should trust the people who would give those orders.”

As the others began to discuss options and strategies, Tony stomped out of the room.

***

Tony was so angry at no one wanting to sign the Accords that he didn’t bother to go to Germany, so Peter stayed out of his clutches.

Nick and Maria had jets available, so an expanded Team Cap had no problem dealing with Zemo. (Or later, Thanos.)

Chapter 125: It's ridiculous to attack Steve for not offering alternatives to the Sokovia Accords

Steve and the others found out about the Sokovia Accords THREE days before ratification. There was no time to organize a response to the Accords, much less an alternative to them. (Other than "oversight with safeguards," which Steve said he'd consider.) Plus the document had already been printed, so there was no likelihood of changes. If the United Nations were interested in the Avengers’ ideas and opinions, they would have involved them years ago when the SOKOVIA Accords were being written. Plus Peggy died the same day Steve received the document. Of course his focus is on losing a major link to his past.
Note: A variation on the pen conversation.

***

Tony said, “Give me a break! It’s not like YOU are taking charge here. I thought you were a leader.”

Steve frowned and asked, “What are you talking about?”

Tony crossed his arms and said, “117 countries want us to be put in check. They came up with the Sokovia Accords. What have you come up with?”

He shoved a finger into Steve’s chest and continued, “Where’s your bright idea for an alternative, huh? I thought you were the man with the plan.”

Steve moved Tony’s hand away from him and replied, “Until three days ago, none of us even knew about the SOKOVIA Accords, Tony. That some secret United Nations panel spent YEARS drafting.”

He took a few steps away, turned, and continued, “We were given three DAYS to read hundreds of pages of protocols and restrictions. We had zero input in ANY of them. You say you’re a genius, Tony. If I quiz you on what the Accords contain, can you tell me? Do you actually know what’s in them?”

Tony said, “What does that matter? We can get them changed later. AFTER you sign.”

Steve shook his head and said, “No, I’m not going to sign something I don’t agree with. And of course I don’t have an alternative. I’ve gone over the document that we’ve been given NO TIME to make changes to, and mourned the death of someone I cared about very much. The idea that I’m supposed to be fixing the fallout of the SOKOVIAN mess YOU’RE responsible for instead of mourning Peggy is ridiculous.”

Steve headed for the door and said, “I’m not obligated to come up with an alternative on demand, Tony. Especially when the United Nations are obviously not interested in anyone’s opinions but their own. But I would recommend oversight with safeguards. Safeguards for people’s rights and choices--they don’t exist AT ALL in the Sokovia Accords. The fact that you’re willing to sign...well, I can’t say that I’m surprised.”

Tony snarled and said, “You better watch your step, Cap. Or you could be locked up like the Witch.”

Steve frowned and asked, “What are you talking about?”

Tony leaned back and said, “The Accords are on shaky ground. Another incident involving an enhanced would be bad news. So Vision is keeping Maximoff safe at the compound.”

Steve shot back, “You mean locked up at the compound.”

Tony said, “It has a swimming pool and a tennis court. There are worse places to stay.”

Steve shook his head and said, “Yeah, like an internment camp. I don’t know why I thought you’d changed, Tony.”

He crossed his arms and asked, “What’s in it for you, signing the Accords?”

Tony stayed silent.

Steve said, “Maybe I should ask Rhodey or Pepper.”

Tony said, “Pepper broke up with me because of Iron Man. But she can’t complain if I’m being told to go on missions.”

Steve said slowly, “And if something goes wrong, you can say you were just following orders. Now why does that sound so familiar?”

It was very quiet when Steve left the room.

***

Steve told Natasha about Wanda’s internment and the real reason Tony was backing the Accords. When the breakout happened, Natasha told the team about the jet in Leipzig, but sent Tony and the others somewhere else so there was no battle. The team easily captured Zemo and proved to the world that Bucky Barnes was not responsible for the bombing in Vienna. T’Challa withdrew Wakanda from the Accords, and many other countries followed. They were soon abolished.

Iron Man officially retired. Pepper still made the break-up permanent.

Chapter 126: Steve wouldn't be fooled by an interrogator

It’s always funny to me how much prop-Tony authors need to warp Team Cap. In this gem, Steve doesn’t recognize he’s being played by an “expert” interrogator. We all know from the films that Steve clocked what was happening in the elevator in Winter Soldier before anyone threw a punch and knew that Tony had already decided to sign the Sokovia Accords before Tony opened his mouth. Let’s see how the questioning would actually go.

Note: Paraphrasing the ridiculousness of the original. The prop-Tony writer (who ignores all of the deaths and damage caused by Tony) lies about a lot of things, as usual. This story uses canon.

***

Steve was taking a nap, facing the wall of his cell. He’d had a long day stopping a kill squad from executing an innocent Bucky, stopping a triggered Bucky from doing more damage, escaping the trap at Leipzig to stop Zemo from unleashing the awakened Winter Soldiers, and stopping Tony from murdering a man Tony knew was an innocent, brainwashed POW. And he still had one more mission to complete.

He was awakened by conversation outside the cell’s two-way mirror.

“So, what’s your plan, Vicki?” A man with a husky voice asked.

Vicki sounded younger. She was also a stranger, but had an arrogance in her voice that sounded all too familiar as she replied, “Director Hansen, here for the show? I’m going to send in a couple of goons with me. I’ll dismiss them to show I believe in his cause. I’ll let him rant about how heroic he is.”

Steve rolled his closed eyes, keeping himself from smirking even though his back was to the camera in the room.

Vicki continued, “I’ll manipulate him into revealing his true self--that American hero will behave like a toddler having a tantrum.”

Hansen said, “You do know that’s Steve Rogers, not Tony Stark, right? It’s Stark who’s known for getting upset and doing things like insulting people--and shooting at them when they’re unarmed.”

Vicki snorted and said, “Rogers is delusional. He hasn’t asked for a lawyer, has he?”

Hansen replied, “No...which makes me wonder what he’s up to.”

Vicki scoffed and said, “Probably thinks he doesn’t need one because he’s right. Just like he thinks he’s actually a captain.”

Steve almost smiled again as Hansen replied slowly, “You did read Rogers’ file, right? Or took an American history class at some point? Rogers led a commando squad for years in World War 2 and saved millions of lives with his sacrifice. He’d be a general now if he wanted to use his actual rank.”

Vicki didn’t reply, just said, “Showtime.”

Steve pretended to jerk awake and turned over as the door opened, revealing a skinny woman with dark hair and eyes. She was accompanied by two muscular agents.

He sat up, ran his hand through his hair, and said, “Sorry, I’m not set up for hosting guests.”

Vicki’s smile didn’t reach her eyes as she said, “My name is Vicki, and it’s such an honor to be meeting Captain America, a REAL hero.”

Steve dutifully shook her hand, which was like flopping a limp, cold fish. He said, “If your bosses know you feel that way, I’m surprised you got this assignment.”

Vicki paused and frowned, but quickly recovered. She said, “Oh, everyone in my division is a fan, so they really didn’t have much choice.”

She gestured at the guards and continued, “But the higher-ups don’t trust you. They insisted on making sure I’m protected. THEY think you’ll hurt me. I’ll just get rid of them--”

Steve interrupted by saying, “No need. I wouldn’t like you to get into trouble.”

Vicki frowned again, then sat at the table in the room and opened a folder. She said, “We all know your history, so let’s make sure we check all the boxes on this form.”

Steve sat in the other chair and confirmed his name, birthday, enlistment, and service in World War 2.

Vicki gave another fake smile and said, “It must have been so lonely for you when you woke up in this century. Until Shield gave you a new purpose--something to fight for.”

Steve didn’t respond beyond a shrug.

Vicki’s tone turned sorrowful as she continued, “But then you had to destroy it. It's such a shame you were responsible for so many Shield agents' deaths...”

Steve leaned back and asked, “How do you figure that?”

Vicki blinked and said, “Well, the leak of all the Shield files endangered all the agents under deep cover--”

Steve shook his head and said, “What makes you think that Shield had agents under deep cover? You do know how Shield operates, right? Hydra already knew about ALL of the Shield agents. So the release of encrypted HYDRA files--which are what Nick and Natasha leaked--wouldn't have made any difference."

Vicki’s jaw clenched, but after a moment she straightened and said, “Let’s move on. You learned Sergeant Barnes was still alive during that incident, correct?”

Steve nodded and replied, “Yes, we found out he was held prisoner for 70 years. Tortured and brainwashed by Hydra.”

The guards looked disturbed at that reminder.

Vicki nodded eagerly and said, “So that’s why you had to save him in Romania, when the cops came after him?”

Steve frowned and said, “They weren’t cops, they were a German kill squad with orders to shoot on sight. They never announced themselves or gave Bucky a chance to surrender. I was glad I was there to bring him in--I don’t think he would have made it out alive otherwise.”

Vicki scoffed, then tried to cover it as a cough. She asked, “Do you really claim you weren’t there to save him, no matter how many lives were lost?”

Steve glanced at the guards. They shared his confused look. He said, “Of course I was there to save him from being illegally executed. And to save whoever was after him if Bucky really had been triggered. And for the record, no one was killed or badly injured in Romania.”

He shrugged and continued, “If there had been any casualties or serious injuries, Tony would have used that as ammunition to try to force Sam and me into signing the Sokovia Accords. It didn’t happen. The reports back that up--no one was really harmed until Zemo triggered Bucky.”

Steve shook his head and looked toward the mirror. He said, “Which is what made it so crazy that Tony refused to listen when I warned him about the five Winter Soldiers Zemo was planning to revive--at least, we thought so at the time.”

Vicki glanced back and saw the guards look at each other. She gritted her teeth and asked, “When did you find out about the murder of Howard Stark?”

Steve rested his hands on the edge of the table and said, "Natasha and I heard a rumor from Armin Zola during the fall of Shield that Hydra was behind the Starks' deaths."

Vicki said, "So you KNEW that Barnes was responsible but didn't tell the authorities?"

This time Steve rolled his eyes and said, "No, Zola hinted that Hydra was responsible. And considering that we would have reported it to Shield and Shield was imploding at the time, why would that be a priority? Not to mention the source. Zola was Hydra, admitted he was saying anything he could to stall us so we could be killed by the missile he launched, and we were a little busy at the time saving the world. So no, I never mentioned it. Neither did anyone else who knew."

Steve hid a smile at the guards nodding to themselves while Vicki clenched her folder.

She flung it at Steve and said, "I'm done with pretending to be your fan. This is the list of crimes you're going to be accused of--treason, murder--"

Steve laughed as he paged through. He asked, "Seriously? Treason is an attempt to overthrow a government. Which regime was I supposed to be toppling? And murder is premeditated killing."

He looked at the mirror and said, "If you want to pin THAT charge on someone, it would be Tony Stark. Along with violating the Sokovia Accords and international boundaries."

Vicki's jaw dropped. She said, "NO--Tony didn't--Mr. Stark wouldn't do something like that."

Steve realized how Vicki had gotten this job. He said, "Tony did exactly that. After signing the Sokovia Accords and assaulting an unarmed Sam Wilson at Leipzig, Tony flew through multiple countries' airspace on an unauthorized mission to Siberia. While there, he attacked Sergeant James Barnes multiple times without cause, including severing Bucky's prosthetic arm. And after that, Tony shot him in the back."

Vicki said, "Why would anyone believe YOU? You're a criminal."

Steve heard the lock on the door flip and saw the camera light go out. He put the folder down, shrugged, and said, "You don't have to believe me. The evidence is now uploaded to your file systems."

He didn't mention that Natasha had also downloaded information about the Raft.

With a quick flip over the table he shoved the guards aside, exited, and locked the the guards and Vicki in the cell.

Through the observation window, he got a nod and a quick salute from the guards and heard Vicki ranting in the background as she began ripping up her folder.

Natasha waved good-bye to Hansen, who was leaning against the wall chuckling at Vicki.

As Natasha and Steve fell into step, Steve asked, "Mission accomplished?"

Natasha grinned and said, "We'll have to hurry if we want the team off the Raft before Tony gets there. I think some COMPETENT interrogators are already drawing up a warrant."

Chapter 127: Tony doesn't get to decide who's on the Avengers, Thaddeus Ross does

It's always funny to see Tony getting a new team together, because most of the time none of the people involved would follow Tony or sign the Accords. And because ALL of the time, Tony has no say in who gets to be on the team. The Sokovia Accords say the U.N. panel members decide when and where (and IF) the Avengers will act. So they also get to decide who has permission to act. I can believe that Tony Stark didn't think about that. He's in for a rude awakening.

Note: Set before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Vision has already left.

***

As Pepper sat in the compound's conference room, she rubbed her temples to get rid of her headache. Getting rid of Tony would likely work better. She repeated, "Tony, you signed the Sokovia Accords without consulting me or ANYONE in Legal. If you didn't bother to read it before you signed, you don't get to complain about what you agreed to. Ignorance is no excuse."

Tony frowned and said, "But I have PLANS. I'm going to show Captain Crap that the New Avengers will be 1,000 times better than those traitors."

Pepper glanced at Rhodey and asked, "You found someone actually willing to sign the Accords?"

Rhodey shook his head and replied, "Nah. People know about them now. Nobody wants anything to do with them or us."

He looked at Tony and continued, "Except for maybe that web guy from Leipzig, but Tony keeps saying we don't need him."

Pepper said, "It sounds like you do."

Tony waved his hand and said, "NO. It's MY team and I say he's not on it."

Suddenly a voice said, "That's not your call, Stark."

All three of them turned to see Secretary Ross in the doorway.

He walked in and continued, "As Ms. Potts explained, the Sokovia Accords put the United Nations in charge of the Registration and Deployment of Enhanced Individuals. It says it right on the cover. And that means I decide where and when the U.S.-based teams deploy--and who the team members are."

Pepper frowned. She had a bad feeling about this.

Ross leaned against the conference table and said, "So I'm going to need that list of folks who turned you down--INCLUDING that web guy Rhodes referred to."

Tony and Rhodey frowned and looked away. Pepper wondered if the people on that list had gone into hiding to keep from being targeted.

She hoped so.

Ross turned toward the doorway and waved someone in.

A troop of heavily armed men and women marched in. In the middle of them were two men in restraints and shock collars--one Pepper didn't know, but the other she recognized immediately.

Ross smiled and said, "We'll be putting up your new team here. Some...adjustments will need to be made to make the compound more secure. I'm sure you understand why."

He gestured for the troops to step aside, fully revealing the prisoners. Ross said, "I present to you, the New Avengers. I'm sure you remember Ivan Vanko, calls himself Whiplash. And this is Emil Blonsky, the Abomination."

Pepper stood up and backed away. She was NOT staying to get acquainted. Or ever coming back here.

Tony stood up and said, "I am NOT working with that hack! And what are you thinking, bringing that--that ABOMINATION into my compound!"

Ross straightened and looked grim. He said, "What I'm thinking, Stark, is that I am in charge. And you'd better get used to it."

Then he smiled and said, "I'll be expecting that list in my inbox by tomorrow. Enjoy your team bonding!"

As Ross walked out of the room, Pepper rushed to exit before the doors closed. She hoped things would go okay with the new team members, but she wasn't going to stick around to find out.

There was a reason she broke up with Tony. And this confirmed that they were NEVER going to get back together.

Chapter 128: If Tony was actually a mentor or father figure, he'd tell Peter the truth

It's amazing to me how so many prop-Tony writers turn Peter into Tony's attack dog. Peter simply isn't like that, but it's even worse that Peter goes after Team Cap because of lies. If Tony actually cared about Peter, he would have told Peter the truth about the Sokovia Accords, how illegal Tony's own actions were, and what really happened in Siberia. But even in stories that pretend Tony is regretful, Tony still hides the truth and lets Peter assume that the others are at fault for Tony's actions.

***

Tony watched the kid watching the city as they drove back to Peter's neighborhood after everything that went down in Germany. He was glad Peter wasn't looking at Tony, because Tony didn't know what his face was doing.

Inside, he was still trying to figure out when and how things went to hell. He had a feeling he was still figuring it out because the answer would turn out to be that it was mostly Tony's fault.

He kept seeing Wanda in the shock collar and straightjacket, then looking at Peter and seeing him the same way. What if Happy hadn't gotten Peter out of Leipzig fast enough? What if Ross had caught the unregistered enhanced CHILD who was illegally smuggled into a foreign country?

What if May Parker found out just how little Tony had cared what would happen to PETER?

Tony should tell the kid--be careful, or you'll end up in a black hole that no one can get you out of.

But he could already hear the questions that would start--Why? Wait, what did Mr. Stark mean that the Accords stripped people of their rights? How could Mr. Stark agree to ANYTHING like that?

Tony would get off easy, though. Because the kid was too dazzled by Iron Man's interest to think about how Tony lied to May Parker. Or to ask where Tony went after Leipzig.

Tony rubbed his hands down his face and frowned. He KNEW the right thing to do. But could he do it? He wasn't planning on letting the world know how many crimes he'd committed in the last few days--he didn't think the lighting on the Raft would suit him. Even though it was the right thing to do. Tony had signed the Sokovia Accords, and then he'd broken them. And a lot of other laws as well.

But avoiding consequences was Tony's mission in life.

Tony sat back and dropped his hands. He'd keep his mouth shut. He couldn't lose that look of adoration on the kid's face.

But he had the sneaking suspicion that ANY of the others would do better by Peter than Tony did.

He glanced over and saw the kid filming. He reached out for the camera and said, "What are you doing, a little video diary?"

Chapter 129: No one owes Tony anything

I never understand why prop-Tony folks act as though Tony is owed anything, much less everything. People are supposed to wave off all of his harsh treatment of people who they claim are his friends, his transphobia and homophobia, his murderous rages. All because Tony "has had it soooo hard" or "is upset."

Everyone is supposed to take his side because Tony. And the prop-Tony stories act as though every decision every character makes for themselves is somehow a betrayal of Tony, often when it has nothing to do with him. Or they act as though OF COURSE everyone else must forgive Tony everything, but they never forgive any other character for much less serious decisions.

One example is the claim that Steve HAD to tell Tony about Zola's rumor that Hydra killed the Starks. They act as though it was a great betrayal and that Tony was "owed" the truth. Partly because they claim that Steve was using Tony's resources to find Bucky, which doesn't make sense and has no support in canon. (Also notice that when it comes to the creation of Ultron, or blackmail of Peter, or creation of Edith...apparently Tony Stark doesn't owe anyone anything.) What if someone pointed that out?

***

Tony was in his workshop, ranting and raving about the team's BETRAYALS and ABANDONMENT, when suddenly a voice said, "Nobody owes you squat."

Tony whirled to see Nick Fury leaning against a cabinet. He was wearing jeans and a short dark jacket instead of his signature trenchcoat. He wasn't wearning an eyepatch, so his scarred, blind eye seemed to be judging Tony just as harshly as the other one.

Tony frowned and said, "Cap KNEW. He knew about his buddy Barnes killing my mother and didn't tell me. He BETRAYED me! Then ran off with his psycho buddy after using me for YEARS."

Nick tilted his head and said, "Wow, you really do live in your own little world, don't you?"

Then he lifted a hand and counted off, saying, "One - Romanov and Rogers clued me in on what ACTUALLY happened. Arnim Zola managed to get himself turned into a computer program and was taunting them to keep them in place long enough to be blown up. They had a RUMOR about how Hydra may have been involved in your parents' deaths. That's it."

Nick shook his head, then continued, "TWO - Know what he showed them? A silhouette of a sniper - NOT a full-frontal shot of Bucky Barnes. Then a newspaper headline about your dad's CAR accident. THREE - Know what Zola said? 'Accidents happen.' FOUR - Know what info Romanov got as a follow-up? How they MADE the Winter Soldier. You know how they did that? SEVENTY YEARS of brainwashing and torture."

He shrugged and concluded, "So no, Rogers didn't KNOW anything about what happened. Why would you expect Rogers or Romanov--or ME--to automatically believe anything spewed by a program that was trying to kill them?"

Tony came up into Nick's face and shouted, "He should have TOLD me. He OWES me the truth."

Nick scoffed and asked, "Why?"

Tony stumbled back a step, then clenched his fists and said, "Because Cap used MY resources to track down his psycho buddy."

Nick leaned back, crossed his arms, and said, "Really? You got any proof of that? Because I know for a FACT that the none of the Avengers ever got a DIME from you. And Romanov was giving Rogers the leads he asked WILSON to follow up. You trying to pretend Wilson was flying a quinjet instead of going business class?"

Tony said, "I was OWED the truth."

Now Nick got in TONY's face and said, "Like the world was owed the truth about how you 'ran' your company for 20 years? Or about how YOU lied to Thor about the scepter you were 'studying'? Or maybe how YOU and Banner were the ones who let Ultron out to play? Or how about how May Parker is owed the truth about what you did with her KID."

Nick leaned back and said, "Or how about your little jaunt to Siberia--who's owed the truth about that? Thaddeus Ross, I think."

Tony paled but said nothing.

Nick shrugged and continued, "Nobody owed you a damn thing. I doubt Rogers actually processed what he heard after everything that happened. But if he did, he made the same decision Romanov, Hill, and I did--you can't be trusted. Just because we know something doesn't mean we have to tell you, Stark. You aren't OWED anything. And considering what you did to Wilson and Barnes while they were UNARMED, it was definitely the right call."

Tony said, "We were a TEAM. Barnes may have been Cap's friend, but so was I."

Nick shook his head and said, "You sure about that? Because you didn't act like it. Think about the way you treated Rogers or any of the rest of them. And if what you say is true, why didn't you tell them the truths YOU owed THEM? At least Rogers had a good reason--yours was that you didn't want to be told No."

As Nick turned and sauntered out, Tony asked, "Wait, why are you here?"

Nick just smirked over his shoulder, put on a pair of sunglasses, and said, "You don't get to know that."

He disappeared around a corner.

By the time Tony got there, Nick was gone.

Chapter 130: Morally speaking, lying about misusing alien technology is much worse than lying about your address

This prop-Tony "genius" used software and created charts and graphics to analyze lying in the MCU. The statistics showed Steve's lying was good, while Tony's lies were disastrous. But the author didn't like that result, so they tried to "prove" Steve lying to enlist was worse than Tony lying about using Loki's scepter to upload Ultron. The author also fudged the data by not even addressing Tony's biggest lie, which was that he was doing his job as CEO of Stark Industries for 17 YEARS while he really spent it drunk and partying.

Note: I couldn't get the graphics to display, so I'm basing this on the text. Paraphrasing the ridiculousness of the original.

***

Destiny gestured grandly at the posterboards with charts and graphics on them. They declared, "And that concludes my presentation about lying and omitting important information and the moral/immoral divide in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. To sum it up, EVERYONE is against Tony. The cards are stacked against him so HE is wrong and bad things happen when he lies. And NO ONE cares about lying to Tony."

They snapped their fingers and continued, "Oh, and I decided that even though people died, a country was destroyed, and the entire planet was almost incinerated, Tony lying about using Loki's scepter isn't anywhere NEAR as bad as Steve Rogers selfishly lying on his enlistment papers to serve in World War II. Because Rogers would have given those brave soldiers tuberculosis and gotten them KILLED because he was so weak and useless in the field. But of COURSE things went his way, because HE benefits from protagonist-centered morality."

Without pausing to take a breath they ranted, "Steve Rogers told the VERY SAME falsehood to the VERY SAME group FOUR times! He LIED and was PROVED a liar. FOUR times!"

Destiny crossed their arms and said, "The 'beacons of goodness' in the Avengers--Natasha and Steve, of course--lie more than Tony, but somehow Tony is the bad guy. My conclusion? The Marvel Cinematic Universe put a target on Tony Stark's back that he does NOT deserve."

The professor waited a moment to see if Destiny was done, then said, "That was...something."

She then turned to the students in the class and said, "We don't have time to go over every piece of flawed data and analysis, but we can hit the highlights. Any volunteers?"

A curly-haired young man in the middle of the room said, "I don't understand why the many lies in the Iron Man films weren't part of the analysis."

The gal next to him tossed her braids over her shoulder and said, "Exactly! That man LIED about being CEO of Stark Industries. For decades he pretended he was in charge and doing his job, but we know he didn't do squat except make weapons that tear human beings to shreds. And didn't even bother keeping track of them. So that's what, 4 speeches a year as CEO over 17 years? That adds 68 points to his score."

The guy nodded and said, "Not to mention he told Rhodey to lie about the incident where Iron Man buzzed some jets and a pilot almost died. And in Iron Man 2 Tony lied about his health for months while he was still allegedly in charge of the company. If Steve Rogers' health is an issue, so is Tony Stark's."

A redheaded gal in the front row said, "That definitely raises Stark's percentage of lying. I also take issue with saying Steve Rogers lied during his enlistment attempts. He acknowledged all of his health issues--there were some that would never have been on the form unless he mentioned them--and asked the reviewing physician to give him a chance. Which Abraham Erskine did. So all Rogers did was lie about his address."

A student in the back whose straight black hair was painted with yellow to form a Pikachu on one side straightened his glasses and added, "The presentation also contained a fraudulent attempt to excuse Tony Stark by downplaying his actions, blaming outside influence, and giving him motives that are NOT supported by canon while exaggerating Steve Rogers' effect on the narrative."

Destiny glared when the professor picked up the printed version of the presentation and asked, "Is this what you mean? I quote, 'In Age of Ultron, Tony was concerned about other people's wellbeing if he was prevented from doing what he wanted to do--plus he thought of course he would succeed and that he controlled the risks. And he was being driven by outside supernatural influence. But in Captain America 1, Steve Rogers had a selfish desire to make his mark even though he should have realized he wouldn't do any good in the world by lying. He didn't care one bit that soldiers would be concerned about the asthma-riddled tuberculosis carrier next to them on the front lines. But of course the heavens--aka the MCU leadership--determined that Steve would save the world while Tony would almost destroy it."

The student nodded and said, "First off, Tony's focus was ACTUALLY his own self-importance and arrogance. He lied to Thor and the others about 'studying' the scepter because he didn't want to hear the 'man wasn't meant to meddle medley' and didn't have time for a 'town hall debate'. But there would have been plenty of time if Tony had simply told the truth. If he'd managed to persuade Thor, Thor would have waited a few more days before leaving. But Tony knew no one else would think his personal Project Insight was a good idea."

He shrugged and continued, "As for the 'supernatural influence,' it disappeared the moment the red mist left his eyes. He'd already admitted he was planning to lie and upload Ultron using the scepter the moment he entered the bunker, so Wanda had nothing to do with it. And don't even get me started on the claim of 'controlled risks'. Stark uploaded an untested program to the internet using alien technology that had NEVER 'done any good in the world'."

The redhead raised her hand and said, "As for Steve endangering troops on the front lines, the author seems to ignore the fact that there is zero evidence of Steve Rogers having tuberculosis or being a carrier. Exposure isn't infection. There's even a suggestion that when he was exposed to his mother Sarah, she had the non-lung infection, so she was not actively contagious."

The curly-haired student added, "The dismissal of Steve's possible contributions is also an insult to every soldier who is not a perfect specimen. As Steve showed with the flagpole and his military studies, he had strategic skills even before the serum that would have been an asset. And there's always the possibility he could have served behind the front lines."

The professor nodded. Then she turned to Destiny and said, "You had one nugget of wisdom in this piece. 'Most often, the story proves Steve Rogers was right to lie. When Tony lies he's proven wrong most of the time. Also, when people lie to Steve to stop him it's bad news, but when people lie to stop Tony it's usually a good idea. One possible conclusion is simply that Steve’s right and Tony’s wrong."

She shrugged and continued, "You should have stopped right there instead of trying to twist things around to claim Tony is being victimized. Tony has been proven wrong, not because 'the fates' dictate it, but because with only one or two exceptions, Tony's choices and lies are selfish, reckless, and irresponsible. Instead you try to use the comparison of Steve's enlistment and Tony's creation of Ultron to suggest Steve is worse. If you'd like to save your grade, I suggest you do some extra credit and analyze exactly how lying about your address is NOT worse than unleashing a murderbot. And how Tony Stark is THE classic example of protagonist-centered morality, given the lack of consequences he suffers for any of his criminal and immoral acts."

As Destiny stomped off, the professor said, "Class dismissed."

Chapter 131: There's no reason for Tony to "be terrified" of Steve thinking of Tony the way Howard did

The prompt for this is a bizarre blend of everybody being "so mean" to "poor Tony," Tony getting de-aged, and Bucky being the "only one who understands".

Everyone is completely out of character. (After Tony is transformed, Steve leaves the 7-year-old in a Hydra base with Thor and Rhodey. Pretty much so Steve can be yelled at.) The biggest head-scratcher is that Tony gets de-aged and is in terror of Captain America. Because he thinks Captain America will view him as Howard did.

Which is funny, because we KNOW how Howard viewed Tony. In Iron Man 2, we see a clip of him viewing young Tony as Howard's "greatest creation." And in Civil War, Howard sees Tony as someone who ignored the responsibilities that came with the privileges he was handed. Also as someone who was wasting his potential and being incredibly immature for a 21-year-old "genius." And Howard was right, because Tony was STILL a drunk, irresponsible partyboy at 38. (And a selfish, irresponsible hypocrite until the day he died.)

So what would really happen with a de-aged Tony?

Note: The original is post-Ultron and somehow post-Civil War but no Sokovia Accords. (Hand-waving away all of the harm Tony caused, of course.) This version is pre-Ultron so Tony can learn his lesson before destroying an entire country with his arrogance.

***

Tony didn't know where he was. It was a lab, but not one of his dad's--this place was dark and creepy.

He squeaked as he heard someone come into the room. He turned around and his jaw dropped. He pointed and said, "You--you're--my dad has--you're dead!"

CAPTAIN AMERICA--it HAD to be him, even if his outfit was different--looked around the room and then looked at Tony. Then he put his glove near his face and said, "I found him. But something is definitely not right here. Bruce and Thor, meet me in the Level 4 lab. Somehow Tony is a kid."

Tony's eyes went wide as he asked, "You know my name?"

Then Captain America pulled off his helmet and crouched down to Tony's level with a smile. He said, "Yes, I know who you are--Tony Stark. But how old are you?"

Tony puffed up his chest and said, "I'm seven."

Captain America nodded and said, "Practically grown up."

Then two more people came into the room. A short, curly-haired man and a GIANT blond guy wearing a cape and carrying a cool hammer.

Captain America glanced over his shoulder, then turned back to Tony and said, "These are my friends, Dr. Bruce and Thor. Tony, can you tell us how you got here?"

Tony frowned. He thought and thought, but...nothing. He said, "I don't know. I went to bed, but now I'm here."

Captain America gestured toward the corner and said to the others, "The suit's here, so it looks like To--Iron Man stepped out to take a closer look at something."

Dr. Bruce sighed and said, "And probably touched it, but what?"

Captain America asked, "How is this even possible? Is it science, or magic?"

The Thor guy looked around and said, "Nothing here is familiar to me, but I do not know the artifacts of other realms."

Dr. Bruce looked around at the items on all of the lab counters. Then he walked over to the suit and said, "Jarvis, can you tell us what happened here?"

Tony gasped when a voice said, "I can show you."

Suddenly the shiny suit that looked like a cool armor lit up and projected a video. Tony watched as a guy stepped out of the armor and walked over to a cabinet, opened it up, and took a fancy metal box out. When he opened it, there was a flash and--

Tony looked down at himself. He was wearing the same clothes as the guy in the video. He trembled as he said, "What--how--he...he's ME?"

Captain America slowly reached out to put a hand on Tony's shoulder. He said, "Yes, that was you. Tony Stark."

Tony frowned and said, "But he's OLD."

All of the adults laughed.

Tony didn't. He shivered and moved closer to Captain America, who wrapped an arm around him.

Captain America was warm. Tony leaned in and wished he was home in bed.

Thor stepped forward and asked, "What are we to do? The device disappeared with our Tony."

Dr. Bruce looked around and said, "Nothing in the lab looks like it's related. I don't think we'll find the answers here."

Captain America said, "Can we seal the place and leave the suit to monitor the room in case our Tony...comes back?"

Thor nodded and said, "If you can give me an image of the device, perhaps someone on Asgard will recognize it."

Captain America looked at Tony and asked, "Is that okay Tony, you coming with us? You'll be safe, and we'll do everything we can to help you. I promise."

Tony thought about his dad's stories of Captain America. How true, strong, and brave he was. He straightened his shoulders and said, "Okay."

***

Tony KNEW he wasn't supposed to be out of his room. He had spent the day with the AVENGERS. (What a cool name!) He met Natasha, Sam, Bucky, Rhodey, and Clint. They all made sure he had someone with him all day, taking him for a swim, showing him HIS lab (but not letting him touch anything), and making his favorite foods.

And the voice from the armor was here too, giving updates and asking questions.

So Tony SHOULD be tired. And in bed where Cap--STEVE, Tony got to call him STEVE--tucked Tony in after reading him some stories.

But Tony HAD to know what was going on. So he broke into the vents and started crawling around.

And MAYBE he brought along the stuffed bear with a blue jacket and a mask that Bucky lent him. But so what--Tony didn't want the little guy to get lost.

He carefully crawled in the direction of voices.

When he peered through the grate, he could see all of the adults sitting around with computers. None of them looked happy.

Clint leaned back in his chair and said, "I know we decided to look over Tony's files for suspects just in case someone was targeting him. But now I'm more afraid of Tony."

Tony gasped and quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.

Steve said, "These plans are disturbing, Clint. But Tony hasn't made any progress on uploading this 'Ultron.' I think we're safe."

Sam shook his head and said, "For now. It looks like Stark has plans to put his robots all over the world. I don't think most of the world wants Stark Tech in their airspace without permission."

Bucky turned to Rhodey and asked, "He doesn't have permission, right?"

Rhodey frowned and said, "No general I know would sign off on Ultron."

Natasha looked at Dr. Bruce and asked, "Did you know about this?"

Dr. Bruce bit his lip, then said, "Tony has talked about a suit of armor around the world. But I never thought he could actually do it."

Steve said quietly, "But he WOULD, if he got the chance. At least that's what I get from these notes. And he had no plans to discuss it with anyone first."

Sam asked, "What are we going to do?"

Steve looked at everyone in the room, then said, "Lock it down. Tony CAN'T be allowed to complete the project. Imagine the chaos it would cause."

Natasha nodded and said, "It looks like we're going to have to keep a closer eye on things. This could have been a disaster."

Clint sat up and said, "While we're digging in Tony's stuff, can we also remove his nicknames from our files and call signs and stuff?"

Natasha nodded and said, "Let's do that. They're not funny."

Steve said sadly, "I asked him to stop calling me Capsicle. He started doing it MORE. And making jokes about my cold heart."

Sam shook his head and said, "It's amazing to me that you guys haven't turned on him in all this time--or kicked him out."

Tony clutched the bear tighter. Unfortunately, that shifted his weight in the vent and it creaked.

He froze.

Clint quickly climbed a cabinet and opened the grate. He said, "Busted."

Tony slid out and into Clint's arms. As soon as they were back on the ground, he ran to Steve and said, "I'm not BAD, am I? I don't want to be bad."

Steve picked Tony up and helped him sit on the table. He looked Tony in the eye and said, "No, Tony, you're not bad. But some of the things you DID in the past were bad. And you want to keep everyone safe, but the way it looks like you want to do it could be REALLY bad for the planet."

Tony bit his lip and asked, "Does this mean you don't like me anymore?"

Steve shook his head and said, "No, Tony, that's not what it means at all. We just need you to tell us what you're planning. So we can all decide if it's the best way to do things."

Natasha reached out to put a hand on Tony's arm. She asked, "Does that make sense to you?"

Tony nodded and said, "Yeah, it sounds like maybe I messed up. But I can do better."

Dr. Bruce said, "We can ALL do better at talking about what's going on, Tony. And we will."

Sam said, "And maybe a certain young man and his bear can get back to bed?"

Tony smiled and let Sam carry him back to bed. Maybe he can bargain for more stories before lights out.

***

Tony woke up in the Hydra lab. As he stood up, Jarvis said, "The team has been alerted about your return, sir. They are en route."

After checking his suit was fine and how much time had passed, Tony sat on a stool and thought about everything mini-him had learned.

He WOULD do better. Starting with being more open about his plans--including being more open to hearing other people's opinions of them.

And maybe he should start calling people by their names, or nicknames they actually LIKED. Starting with Steve.

***

The Ancient One closed the portal showing her Tony Stark. With a nod, she gave the Eye of Agamotto a little pat. Sometimes looking through the eyes of the past could save the future. At least for this universe.

Chapter 132: Pepper would never punish Steve for surviving Endgame

The difference between prop-Tony writers and the fans of other characters is interesting. I'm not sure I've ever seen Steve fans, or Natasha fans, or the fans of any member of Team Cap gleefully write stories where Tony Stark is tortured, raped, falsely imprisoned, or murdered. If such stories exist, they're rare. Tony fans? They seem to think anything Tony (or his prop) does--including torture, rape, false imprisonment, and murder--are perfectly fine because Tony. It's chilling.

This prop-Tony gem has Pepper deciding to literally dehumanize Steve because he survived Endgame.

Note: Paraphrasing the absurdity of the original. But I'm not having Friday call Pepper Mommy--that's too creepy.

***

Pepper Potts was NOT having a good night. Tony would NOT shut up.

He stomped in front of their bed and shouted, "How DARE he live! Go back in time and find his OWN happiness!"

Pepper wanted to say that Steve was due for a happy ending, but Tony kept ranting.

He threw up his hands and said, "That bastard KILLED me! He FORCED me to work on that time device. He PROMISED that it would all be okay!"

Again, she tried to point out that the Infinity Stones killed Tony. That Steve never promised anything, and that no one even knew Tony was working on the time device--including Pepper--until Tony had finished it.

But Tony lunged toward her and she shrank back. He loomed over the bed and shouted in her face, "How can you just SIT THERE!"

Then Tony was pacing again as he ranted, "Sure, maybe things are okay for Rogers and the universe."

He spun back toward her and pointed as he said, "But this is awful for YOU. And poor sweet baby Morgan."

Tony rubbed his hands together and said darkly, "HE doesn't get to have a future anywhere or anytime. Rogers has to PAY! He committed FRAUD by using MY tech and cash to find Barnes while CLAIMING he was on legit missions--"

Pepper said, "What are you talking about? Natasha and Sam were helping Steve and Steve has his own money--"

Tony ignored her as he said, "AND Rogers killed Widow!"

Pepper shook her head as she thought about how Tony never even bothered to check how his former teammates were doing. So why did he suddenly care about Natasha's death?

Tony roared, "STEVE. ROGERS. MUST. SUUUUUUFFFFFFEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!"

He lunged toward the bed again, spit flying from his mouth as he outlined his plan. He said, "You can replicate Pym's nanobots and go on a revenge quest to the past. First you can go back to 1940 to Carter's house, right before that beefy blond virgin loser shows up to get his cherry popped."

Pepper wondered if Tony had dropped acid or something. Pearl Harbor didn't even happen until December 1941. Why did Tony pick a date before America even joined the war? That didn't make any sense at all.

Tony rubbed his hands together and continued, "You take Carter hostage to make Rogers surrender and you put nanobots in him to give him blinding pain. Then you force a potion down Carter's throat to give her dementia so she doesn't remember anything. And THEN you drag Rogers back here and put him in a machine that wipes out EVERY SPECK of his humanity. WIPE HIM EMPTY HIM DESTROY HIM!!!!!"

Tony suddenly came closer and growled, "And I will tell you what you are going to tell him as you're erasing every single atom of his memory and personality. As you burn out ANY TRACE of Rogers' free will before you turn him into a mind-controlled slave. A Stark weapon that will be NOTHING except Morgan's bodyguard for the rest of ITS life."

Pepper couldn't escape as Tony shoved his face even closer and continued, "You tell him that EVERY SECOND of his life he's been selfish. That he LIED his way into the military knowing he could infect EVERYONE with TUBERCULOSIS! That Rogers judged me--judged TONY--for things I--Tony actually did and said. How DARE he! And Rogers BRAINWASHED me--TONY into thinking he had to sacrifice EVERYTHING! When ROGERS sacrificed NOTHING! Him losing his whole world and decades of life was nothing but a weekend trip to Vegas. And Rogers committed FRAUD! With my--my HUSBAND's money! To find the person who killed my--my HUSBAND's parents! So what if Barnes was electrocuted and tortured for 70 years? And so what if I--TONY hid the secret of unleashing Ultron using Loki's scepter and turning some kid into a child soldier and signing and then violating the Sokovia Accords, Rogers' secret was so much WORSE!"

Tony leaned back and said, "And speaking of the Sokovia Accords, you tell Rogers that he is some kind of DICTATOR for not giving the Accords a chance. So what if there was no compromise--it was sign your human rights away or else. And he rejected the Accords based on the opinion of some Hydra agent. Oh, sure, the Scarlet Witch wasn't even on the continent when I--TONY let slip Vision had the Witch interned, but that doesn't matter. It's HER fault! And it doesn't matter that she didn't know she and her dim bulb brother were working with Hydra--just like I didn't know when I worked on the helicarriers. That doesn't matter--it's just Rogers' bias against me--against TONY!"

Pepper really wanted to call for help, but she didn't think Tony would let Friday do anything. But Pepper was leaving the house with Morgan as soon as she could get out of this room--no matter what.

Tony had started pacing again as he continued, "And you tell Rogers the biggest sin he committed was browbeating and coercing me--coercing TONY into inventing time travel. Into ABANDONING his daughter like that deadbeat Barton. NOT to save the universe. But for Rogers' OWN happy ending."

Pepper shivered in fear as Tony's smile turned more chilling. He said, "And after you've wiped Rogers out of existence, you order the brand new Stark 5000 weapon to pretend to be an old man and give the shield to Wilson. To tell Wilson he had a happy life--but NO details--so no one will be around to realize exactly how you made Rogers pay."

As Tony's smile grew wider and he reached out to touch her cheek, Pepper screamed--

And woke up in her Manhattan apartment. In a bedroom that Tony had never even seen.

Pepper rubbed her hands over her arms to get rid of the goosebumps.

But the most frightening thing was, she would be lying if she tried to claim that Tony would never do that.

Chapter 133: Jennifer Walters would never try to clear Tony of "any involvement" with Ultron

I truly don't think Jennifer Walters would be stupid enough to 1) Think Tony had "no involvement" with creating Ultron, 2) Insist on representing Tony as he makes that claim, and 3) Get into a relationship with Tony while he is with Pepper.

What if Tony actually tried this tactic after "Age of Ultron"?

Note: I don't know when Jennifer Walters started her law career, but the original story assumed she passed the bar by 2013.

***

Jennifer sat up, dropped her pen on the desk, picked up her iced coffee, spun her chair around, and looked out the window. Sure, she had work to do, but there was coffee to drink and people to watch.

Suddenly the door banged open. Jennifer immediately spun around and threw her cup at the intruder.

It landed smack in the middle of Tony Stark's forehead.

She gasped and stared in shock as cream and coffee slid down his beard. She asked, "What the HELL do you think you're doing?"

Stark wiped at his face and said, "What is your problem? That's assault with a cold beverage."

Jennifer frowned and said, "That door was locked. You didn't knock and I DEFINITELY did not invite you in. I could claim the Castle Defense. Get out."

Stark leered at Jennifer and said, "You're super hot when you're angry."

Then he sat in one of her visitor's chairs, picked up the tissue box, and started pulling tissues to wipe his face. He said, "I need you to clean up a little legal mess."

He shrugged and said, "The pay is good, and I am DEFINITELY interested in putting you on retainer."

Jennifer said, "I'm not interested in a new client." She wasn't interested in STARK as a client. She didn't like the way Stark treated her cousin. Bruce may not have noticed how his stories about Stark sounded to someone who actually CARED about Bruce. But she certainly did.

Stark smirked and said, "Your bank account says otherwise. Hear me out, and I won't send you the bill for replacing my ruined T-shirt. This is vintage Aerosmith--that doesn't come cheap."

Jennifer just glared.

Stark leaned back and said, "I assume you heard about Sokovia?"

Jennifer tilted her head and asked, "You mean the devastation of an entire city and how close we came to global disaster? Who hasn't?"

Stark said, "I wasn't involved--not really. And I need you to prove that and clear my name. IF my name is ever involved."

Jennifer's eyes narrowed as she said, "Involved in as in...the creator of Ultron?"

Stark tossed the soggy tissues on the desk and said, "Exactly! There were extenuating circumstances!"

Jennifer leaned an elbow on the desk, put her chin in her hand, and said, "Such as?"

"Such as that WITCH cast a spell on me!" Stark said. He waved his hands and continued, "She MADE me create Ultron--"

"Hold it right there," Jennifer said, standing up. She said, "I don't have time for your bs."

She walked in the front of her desk and leaned on it. She crossed her arms and got right in Stark's face as she said, "I would NEVER help you, especially with this. Bruce told me everything."

Stark gulped.

Jennifer nodded and said, "I'll give you some free legal advice--pray that your 'involvement' never gets out. Because you ARE responsible for Ultron. YOU wrote the Ultron program. It quotes you, treats people like dirt exactly as you do, and calls you Daddy."

She straightened and continued, "YOU told Bruce as soon as you saw Baron Von Strucker's lab you knew you could use the scepter to upload Ultron. Then YOU lied to Thor about 'studying the scepter' instead of telling Thor EXACTLY what you planned to do with it. And why? Because YOU didn't want anyone to stop you. So YOU used alien technology to launch your own version of Project Insight."

Stark paled and whispered, "He really did tell you everything."

Jennifer nodded and said, "Yes."

She pointed toward the door and said, "Get out of my office. And I better not hear about you trying this crap with any other lawyer."

As Stark left a lot more quietly than he banged in, Jennifer put her head in her hands and sighed. She didn't know where Bruce was. He hadn't called back after the team headed to Sokovia.

Part of her was glad Bruce was out of sight. But she hoped wherever he was, her cousin was safe.

Chapter 134: Tony chooses to treat people badly

I'm paraphrasing something I saw online about a real family. (I think it was reddit, but I didn't get the URL.) It was about a person whose sister was always excused for her actions because she was "involuntarily inconsiderate." Until a therapist pointed out to the person that someone who is over 40 and aware their words and actions hurt others is making a choice to continue those hurtful words and actions. (The original post also said that saying sorry means nothing if you just do the same things again. You know your actions are wrong and hurtful, but you just don't care.)

What if someone pointed that out to Tony?

***

Tony strutted into the conference room. He stopped short when the only person he saw there was Nick Fury.

He said, "I thought you didn't want Iron Man as a solo act."

Fury replied, "That's not my call."

Tony's eyes narrowed, but then he sat and put his sneakers on the table. He asked, "So where's my backup band?"

Fury folded his hands and said, "They didn't agree with the terms of the project."

Tony chuckled and said, "What, budget not big enough to keep them in Spandex?"

Fury shook his head and said, "No, the problem was with the working conditions. More specifically...a coworker."

Tony's legs dropped to the floor. He said, "No way."

Fury said, "It was you or them. You've been voted off the island."

Tony stood and started stomping around the room. He said, "How DARE they! I am Iron Man!"

Fury asked, "What did you expect, Stark? These people aren't on your payroll. They get to speak their minds. And they find your 'humor' hurtful. And kind of ridiculous from a guy who's already pushed past 40."

Tony said, "I can't help it! I'm--I'm involuntarily inconsiderate. It's practically genetic."

Fury leaned back and said, "A mistake is made once. After that, it's a choice. And you've been choosing to act this way for years. Nobody on the team wants to deal with someone whose hobbies are joking about other people's trauma and making up insulting nicknames. And they don't have a reason to put up with it."

Tony crossed his arms and said, "There is a HUGE reason. You have to force them to let me back in the club because there IS no club without me."

Fury shrugged and said, "We've got Rhodes pinch-hitting for firepower and Hank Pym is willing to work with Banner, Selvig, and Foster for tech and science. You said it yourself, I want a team, not a solo act."

He stood and continued, "But if you're willing to apologize and do better, they'll consider adding you back to the roster. Your choice."

As Fury left the room, Tony sat back down. Looking around the empty room.

Chapter 135: Tony can't use a "crime of passion" or "temporary insanity" defense for his attacks on others

A lot of prop-Tony folks try to shrug away Tony's attacks on Sam, Steve, and Bucky with "crime of passion" and "temporary insanity" defenses--basically poor!baby!Tony was upset and couldn't help himself. (Or they even suggest that Tony wasn't really trying to hurt Bucky, much less kill him. Ha!) A few folks actually looked at the evidence and did the research. They outlined why Tony could NOT use either of those defenses. And that he was, in fact, aiming to kill. There is a screenshot in an MCU book of the film that reads:

Tony's Revenge

Once Tony realizes that the Winter Soldier murdered his parents, Barnes' innocence in the Vienna bombing no longer matters to him. Capturing Bucky is out of the question - Tony means to kill him.

So how would it really play out if Tony was going to trial?

Note: I am paraphrasing the original discussion and examples.

***

Tony stayed in his lab as he listened in on the conversation in the conference room upstairs. The lawyers were in HIS tower, working on HIS defense. They should NOT have an expectation of privacy.

He didn't bother to research--or name--any of the legal eagles. So he didn't know the deep-voiced man who was speaking when he heard, "I don't know where or how they got the footage, but it's been validated. It doesn't look good."

Tony sat up as Lawyer#1 continued, "We need to figure out a strategy. And an action plan if any of the video leaks."

Tony crossed his arms as Lawyer#2--sounded like a young chick--said slowly, "Well, we can point to a few times when Stark could have killed Rogers or Barnes, but didn't."

Lawyer#3 sounded like he was just added to firm, saying, "Yeah! Stark shot that--what do you call it--the roof door of the silo rather than Barnes when Barnes was trying to escape."

Tony figured Lawyer#2 was nodding as she said, "And Stark vaporized the metal arm. Maybe we can say Stark could have shot Barnes in the chest instead?"

Lawyer#3 sounded triumphant as he said, "We can say that Stark was holding back--NOT trying to murder Barnes."

Lawyer#1 said, "Strike the word murder from your vocabulary. Our client was overcome by emotion. He temporarily lost control of his faculties and reasoning. We are talking about a crime of passion."

Suddenly an older woman spoke--Lawyer#4. She said, "You're ignoring the evidence. Trust me, the prosecution won't."

A chair creaked and then footsteps crossed the room. #4 said, "Of course Stark was trying to kill. Look at this clip here. Barnes is immobilized--Stark STOMPS on the metal arm to hold it down and grabs Barnes' other arm. And Iron Man is KNEELING on Barnes' chest. Watch--Stark powers up his gauntlet and fires at Barnes' FACE. Barnes was lucky he could jerk his head to the side, otherwise he'd have no more face."

Tony swallowed as he heard #4 continue, "You really want to get in front of a judge and jury and argue that was not intended to be a LETHAL blast?"

#3 grunted and said, "Yeah, okay, maybe Stark STARTED with murderous--LETHAL--intent. But what about the blast from the arc reactor, later in the fight? Can't we argue that Stark could have hit Barnes in the chest--game over? And what about that roof-door thing?"

#2 replied, "You mean hatch. And that won't work. Stark's targeting system had been damaged by Rogers. You can clearly see Stark lining up on Barnes, realizing he can't hit the moving target, and shift to the hatch. He even says something about eyeballing it to his AI. Action was dictated by circumstance, not a change of heart."

#4 added, "Same with the arm. Stark blasted what was in front of him, which was the arm. If Barnes had been a few inches over, his side would have been turned to vapor as well."

#1 sighed and said, "So we can't claim that it was a squabble that got out of hand. But we CAN claim Stark can't be held responsible. It was an emotionally fraught situation. Stark had just WITNESSED the brutal murder of his father and mother. Of course he went a little crazy. It seems crime of passion/temporary insanity is the best line of defense."

Tony had just started to relax when someone cleared their throat.

#2 hesitantly said, "I don't think crime of passion will work, sir. Stark doesn't meet the legal requirements. Stark was never provoked by the victim."

#1 said, "THE VICTIM is the Winter Soldier--"

#4 cut in to say, "Not voluntarily. Which the prosecution can prove--and with the 'Manchurian Candidate' crack, they can also prove Stark knew it BEFORE Siberia. The victim provided no provocation."

A chair scraped as #3 said, "What do you call that video Stark saw? You think you would stand there calmly as your parents were MURDERED right in front of your face?"

#2 said, "No one asked or expected Stark to stand there calmly. Do you really want to argue that the ONLY possible reaction was lethal force?"

#3 shot back, "So you're saying you WOULDN'T want to kill Barnes?"

#2 said, "Wanting and doing are two different things. Even if I WANTED Barnes dead--because somehow I forgot that the Winter Soldier was a brainwashed POW, as much a victim as my parents--I would hope I would blast a wall rather than a man's face."

#2's voice was firmer as she continued, "Have you read the relevant cases? The standard analogy is someone walking in to a bedroom to see their spouse in their marriage bed with someone else. A physical confrontation leads to the cheating spouse or their paramour being killed."

The shift of cloth on expensive faux leather sounded as #2 continued, "That is NOT what happened here. Stark was shown a 25-year-old recording of his spouse cheating while the spouse was being forced to participate against her will with no agency of her own--a loss of bodily control which Stark both knew of and WITNESSED beforehand. This led Stark to attempt to murder his spouse because that spouse was in proximity when he viewed the recording."

#2 paused, then said, "Do you really think you will be able to justify that?"

#4 added, "Not to mention that the crime of passion defense does NOT apply to someone killing--or attempting to kill--for revenge. Stark is on tape saying he 'doesn't care, he--meaning Barnes--killed his mom'."

#1 said glumly, "So we're down to temporary insanity."

#4 replied, "With what evidence? We see someone enraged, not deranged. Stark was using precision in his attacks, not scattershooting or launching his whole arsenal at once. His actions were methodical."

Steps sounded as #4 continued, "Look at the recording. Stark attacks, Rogers damages a piece of the armor and TEMPORARILY stops Stark. Who after a moment launches another, different attack. Those pauses and shifts in tactics demonstrate that Stark was fully in control of his faculties. Not insane, temporarily or otherwise."

There was the creak of a chair shifting. Then #2 said, "There is also a...pattern of behavior. It's part of the discovery material provided by the prosecution. Stark did the same thing to Wilson in Leipzig and to Rogers in New York, in 2015. He eyes up a situation, activates and raises his gauntlet, and CALMLY aims and fires at unarmed persons. Not out of overwhelm or fear for safety, but as a deliberate expression of...discontent."

Another chair creaked. Footsteps sounded as #1 said, "You've done an excellent job of making the PROSECUTION'S case. What is our line of defense?"

Silence.

Tony's hands closed into fists. He could not BELIEVE these people. What was he paying them for?

Then #3 hesitantly said, "Plea deal?"

#1 replied, "I concur, unfortunately. Other than delaying tactics, there doesn't seem to be much to counter the prosecution. They have a strong, maybe even iron-clad case."

Tony winced at the phrasing.

#1 continued, "What kind of outcome can we negotiate?"

#2 replied, "They are not open to negotiation. You can see why. Their offer is Stark pleads guilty to all charges, serves the maximum and pays significant damages, and none of this becomes public knowledge."

#4 added, "If there's a trial, EVERYTHING will come out. Do you think there could be more, something that wasn't part of discovery?"

Tony nodded to himself. There was Ultron and Tony's creation of the program. He shifted toward his laptop--he knew he had a list of countries without extradition treaties somewhere...

Tony didn't get very far with his plans before Friday said, "Marshals just entered the conference room, boss. The building is surrounded and a team is waiting outside the door. The prosecution's request for remand until the trial was granted. Apparently you're considered a flight risk."

As Tony froze, he heard #1 say, "This looks in order. I'll accompany Stark as he's taken into custody. I will lay out our recommended...option."

#3 said, "Good thing we're paid by the hour and not based on the outcome."

Notes:

Rec list updated September 17, 2020!

Visit the Team Cap rec list for a list of fics that DON'T bash Team Cap!

If you know of a fic you'd like to see on the rec list, mention it in a comment on this fic and I'll add it.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Inconvenient Truths