Work Text:
Ayin sat in the Hunter dorms, picking at a loose thread in her mentor’s sheets. She cast another glance around the room, counting the number of people. Luckily, almost everyone was out and about. It was too late for them to be taking afternoon naps but too early for everyone to be back from a night on the town. She'd have nearly the entire dorm to herself. That would hopefully make it easier.
She noticed the sound of the door cracking open and spurs clinking as someone walked across the common room floor. Cayde opened the door directly to the room. He noticed her right away and cracked a smile.
She scooted to the side as he moved to sit down next to her.
"What can I do for my favorite hunter?" He asked, winking. "Need more bounties? A new bunk assignment?"
"I want to talk." Ayin swallowed.
"Well, what's up?" He turned to face her.
"I don't think I came back right." She pulled her knees closer to her face. "I think something's wrong."
He looked confused. "I haven't seen anything. You fight ok, you walk and talk and move ok. What's been acting up?"
"I don't think my emotions work properly." She turned away. She didn't want to see his face, to see his reaction. She didn't want to know if he'd think she was a monster.
"Oh?" He asked softly. "What makes you think that?"
"Everyone else has been talking about crimson days and partners and crimson doubles and dating. It made me think about how I've been alive for a while now, right?" Here she paused to glance at Cayde. He just nodded.
"And I don't feel that way. About anyone. And I haven't yet." She looked back down. "I think I came back broken. I don't think I can fall in love."
There. She was done. Now all she could do was pray they wouldn't kick her out, tell her that she'd be a bad guardian or that she wasn't really human.
Instead, Cayde reached around her shoulder and squeezed. "First off, you're perfectly fine. Romantic love isn't the only kind of love. You clearly love your friends, your allies, hell you even love your plants more than I think is healthy." He poked her side.
"But aren't people supposed to have romantic relationships?" She asked.
"Not necessarily." Cayde looked at her. "A long time ago, I felt a similar way to how you did. I said basically the same thing to a good friend, and he told me about aromanticism and asexuality."
"What?" It was Ayin's turn to be confused.
"Some people don't feel any sexual attraction. Those people call themselves asexual. Some people don't feel any romantic attraction. Those people call themselves aromantic." He said. "Of course there are shades of grey in there and I can find you somebody to explain it better."
She blinked at him. "Really?"
"Yep." He smiled.
“Can you be both?” She asked.
“Yes.” He leaned back. “Or just one.”
Ayin readjusted her legs. “I think I’m both.”
“See? You’re just fine.” He smiled one last time.
She picked herself up and readjusted her cloak before slipping out the door. Behind her she could hear Cayde settling down for the evening. She was going out to her garden. Sleep wasn’t coming for a while.