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There is no God, for She has left us.

Summary:

"Why does this exist?" you may be asking yourself. Well, I can explain.

I was playing Tomodachi Life, and Matt had a crush on Beelzebub. I said go for it. I used the line. It worked.

Then, I decided to write this fic.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Gabriel had no fondness for demons. He was not smitten by one, nor did he want to court one. He was an archangel - demons simply disgusted him.

Despite his distaste for the evil basta- creatures, he still spoke to a certain prince of Hell. He'd claim it was all a part of Her Great Plan (of which would not come about due to two utter disgraces), but in reality Beezlebub was a demon worth chatting to.

None the less, it did not matter when Gabriel walked into a cafe (they'd decided to meet in human places - no judgement from either of their sides. This cafe was on a small island with a couple of inhabitants) and found a weird man chatting to the Fly Lord themself. His goatee was immaculate, as was his outfit of choice. He looked somewhat tired, however.

Beezlebub seemed to be laughing along - they had chosen to wear a less formal outfit in favour of a... human-acquired taste.

Gabriel walked towards the table, then stopped. He could hear their conversation perfectly.

"And what do you do for a living, Matt?" Beezlebub had asked.

"Well... I guess you could say I box."

That explained his physical frame.

"That'szzz nice."

Gabriel had waited until this Matt left, then began conversation with the demon.

 

The next time they met, the same thing occurred.

And the next.

They seemed to be good friends, thought Gabriel. Until he overheard Matt whisper to Beezlebub, Prince of Hell, Lord of the Flies:

"Buzz on my knob. No homo though."

Gabriel was disgusted once more. How forward! Not only that, but Beezlebub was clearly non-binary and the author had put no thought into that fact before writing that line!

What disgusted him more, was Beezlebub's response:

"Szzure."

Gabriel fled. He never talked to Beezlebub after that encounter. Once, he'd discovered humans had created a new entertainment form - something called 'We Sports'. Stupid creatures, why make a virtual sport when you could go outside?

The strange thing is, that final boss in the boxing game seemed super familiar.

Notes:

I'm so sorry.