Chapter Text
“Are you fucking kidding me.”
They’re drunk. No surprise. Erwin and Mike are in the midst of a disagreement – an incredibly rare occurrence, as rare as snow in the middle of Vancouver, but still not completely unheard of – and Levi’s sleeping on Erwin’s couch, courtesy of losing another job and then losing his apartment. They were bound to end up here, with their twelve-pack demolished, and a bottle of vodka sitting on the table, and Erwin lying with his head on Levi’s knee. The couch isn’t that comfortable, and Erwin’s stupidly long legs are hanging over the side, but they’re making do.
“’m serious. You like making things clean.”
It’s more than a bit slurred, and Levi snorts and flicks Erwin in the nose, grinning a bit when Erwin tries halfheartedly to bite his finger. They’re grown-ass adults and they still act like idiots, which... god, it’s a wonder either of them are able to function in society at all. Though given that Levi’s jobless and that Erwin’s the manager of an entire office, maybe only one of them is all that functional.
“You want me to clean toilets for you.”
“I want you in a job that doesn’t require being nice to people.”
“So you want me to clean shit.”
“Don’t you get sick of my couch?”
And – yeah, alright, Levi does. It’s comfortable enough, and he’s slept on it for months at a time because Erwin is a saint and Levi owes him more than he’s comfortable with – but he does like having his own bed. Maybe even a door that locks; and he grinds his teeth a bit and twists his fingers around some of Erwin’s stupidly perfect blonde hair. Wonders how long it’s going to take for Erwin and Mike to make up. They always do - shit, Levi can't even start to imagine them without each other, at this point - and it’s always a relief. Erwin might be a stubborn bastard, but Levi knows him well, after all this time; and Erwin’s a wreck whenever Mike isn’t around.
“So you want me to come be your custodian while you run the whole fucking office.”
“At least you wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.”
Levi thinks about being able to clean without having to make nice with anyone. Without having to stand behind a counter and fake happy for jackasses all day long. Closes his eyes, and then opens them again as the room starts spinning; and then he's giving Erwin’s hair a tug when he realizes that Erwin is grinning again, where he’s lying against Levi’s knee; but he’s right. Levi’s degree has been worse than useless, and his stuff is in a box at foot of Erwin’s couch. It’s not like he has much choice.
“Fine. But I’m not wearing some stupid uniform.”
Erwin’s continued grin isn’t reassuring, and Levi closes his eyes again, the room still spinning a bit around him.
He’s just agreed to scrub toilets for a living. Talk about living the fucking dream.
- - -
He makes it through one day of training – before the head custodian deems him ready to work on his own, and says that Levi won’t be seeing him after this; which Levi is just fucking fine with – and one whole hour of solitary work before he marches into Erwin’s office and tells him that he’s quitting; and Erwin, the bastard, laughs right in his face, before putting Hanje in temporary command, and helping Levi to figure out what the fuck to do about the toilet that some douchebag had decided to fill with paper for fun. Manager of the whole fucking office, and Erwin’s down on his knees with his hands wrapped in layers of gloves, fishing paper out of the damn toilet; and Levi grits his teeth and doesn’t say anything else about quitting. Not yet, at least. This isn’t the first time Erwin’s taken a chance on him – but, maybe, this time Levi won’t completely fuck it up.
- - -
It takes Levi all of day to realize that this is the gayest office he’s ever worked in.
He spends his entire day going out of his way to not meet people, but Hanje’s a monster who insists on at least pointing to people and naming them, even if – thankfully – they know better than to try to actually introduce him; and Levi’s brain starts matching up names and faces without him really trying. It’s pretty much impossible for him to not notice things, as he wanders around the entire office; and by the end of the day, Jean and Marco have spent their lunch break snuggled up on a couch, their fingers laced the entire time; Mikasa’s fed potato salad to Sasha off a spoon; Ymir's kissed Historia on the cheek so many times it’s a wonder they’ve gotten any work done; Bertolt's looked like he was about to blush himself to pieces when Reiner and Annie had sidled up on either side, with a hand on each leg – and that’s not even mentioning the fact that Erwin and Mike are stupidly in love, for all that Levi knows that Erwin has kept that secret from the rest of the office. Hell, the only people whose names he learns who don’t seem stupidly smitten with someone are Hanje – Levi’s never seen them fall for anyone, but he’s pretty sure it’d be a sight to see – and someone named Connie; and while the office has a staff of about fifty other people, Levi’s pretty sure he hasn’t been in an environment this queer-friendly since his university days. It's a thought that's still with him as he finishes wiping the cafeteria tables and goes to lean up against Erwin’s door.
“This is the gayest office I’ve ever worked in.”
Erwin doesn’t even look up from his paperwork, smirking down at it instead.
“I advertised at a local queer youth home. Promised a safe work environment.”
“Of course you –”
“Most of these kids are runaways. Figured it might do them some good.”
Erwin fucking Smith, savior of missing kittens and lost humans everywhere. Levi very carefully ignores the way it makes something warm bloom in his chest.
“Ever the hero.”
“Lucky for you.”
“You can go suck a fucking lemon.”
Erwin’s barely finished grinning at him before there’s a knock from behind Levi, and he turns to find – christ. That’s one beautiful teenager. Shit. Shitshitshit – he grinds his teeth as the kid stares at him, and then manages a smile that looks a bit pained, and – Levi needs to stop staring. Clasps his hands behind him – christ, the kid’s hair; it’s like fucking anime hair – and moves aside as the gorgeous guy in front of him steps into the office, his gaze going almost apologetically to Erwin.
“I – sorry to interrupt. I just –”
“No, no – come on in, Eren. Levi’s got some toilets to scrub, anyway. Don’t you, Levi?”
Levi can’t think of anything to say. Doesn’t have a comeback. Settles for glaring at Erwin before he turns and leaves the office as fast as his legs will carry him, and – fuck. Levi does not need this.
- - -
By the time Levi re-emerges from his supply room – and, no, he wasn’t hiding while his dick calmed down; he was just rearranging all the cleaning supplies so that they made more sense – the situation has gotten worse; because the gorgeous kid is sitting in the cafeteria passing an ice cream cone back and forth between himself and a second guy his age, who has blond hair and big blue eyes; and Levi promptly beelines it for his little custodial closet and shoves his forehead against the wall, locking the door and wondering how the fuck this shitshow ever became his life.
- - -
Levi gets through the first week by sheer will power.
Somewhere around Wednesday afternoon, Erwin and Mike make up – Levi knows, because Erwin unceremoniously banishes him to the Starbucks around the corner; and Levi would complain about it, but he’s still sleeping on Erwin’s couch and eating Erwin’s food, so he doesn’t have much ground to stand on. Instead, he spends the early part of the evening on his laptop, before going for a long walk down by the river, and then crawling back onto Erwin’s couch around midnight, when he’s decided that he’s given them enough time to have all the loud make-up sex they want. Spends the next day dragging his exhausted ass around the office and glaring at anyone who comes too close – other than Hanje, who merely smirks at him when he tells them to piss off – and reaches Friday afternoon with his box of latex gloves already almost empty and his back aching from mopping the goddamn floors every day; and he ignores everyone until he reaches his last break, two hours before his shift ends – and then slips out the back custodial exit and runs straight into the stupidly attractive teenager with the big green eyes, who blinks at him for a second before he – smiles? The kid is smiling at him. Which is weird, because Levi knows that he’s glaring.
“Levi, right?”
Something is wrong with Levi’s voice. Which is fucking stupid, because the kid’s not that hot – except he really kind of is. And Levi's maybe been watching him around the office. Watching him smile at everyone and share his food with his little blonde boyfriend and help everyone with their work and – alright, so maybe Levi has a bit of thing for the kid. Maybe he was smitten the minute he watched Eren catch a spider and let it outside, smiling down at the little creature like it was the cutest thing he's ever seen. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s probably half Levi’s age.
“And you are?”
“Eren. Nice to meet you.”
Eren sticks his hand out, still smiling, and Levi tries to ignore the fact that Eren knows his name. Tries to ignore how soft Eren’s palm is. Fucking call agents. He’s still not sure whether he’s got the better job or not. The whole situation feels like hell. He just takes his hand back and doesn’t say anything else. Eren’ll get it, quick enough. Levi doesn’t have the energy for verbal gymnastics with an adorable little twerp who has a boyfriend and a gorgeous smile. And his back is fucking aching, jesus.
“Erwin get you a job here?”
Christ. The kid does want to talk. Levi just shrugs, and hopes that that does it. The last thing he needs is anything that will feed into this crush. And his break’s almost over, and he’s tired, and he wants to be alone; and he ends up girtting his teeth when Eren frowns at him, but in a way that looks more quizzical than anything else. Opens his mouth – and then seems to think better of it, as he closes it again, before giving Levi another little smile that really shouldn’t be making Levi’s stomach all achy.
“Anywho, I should bring Mikasa some tea. See you around?”
“Sure.”
It’s not the correct response at all, but Eren grins at him and slips past him, brushes up against his sleeve as he opens the door and goes back inside; and Levi closes his eyes. This is so stupid.
- - -
And the thing is – Levi really isn’t good with people.
Erwin, the psychoanalytical bastard, has used words like ‘trust issues’ and ‘past trauma’ and 'anxiety', whereas Levi – who’s pretty sure he knows himself better than Erwin does; though after their many years together, and all the shit they’ve been through, it might be a close call – prefers to think of it as just not having enough energy to deal with other human beings. It’s not that he can’t have a conversation – he can talk circles around people, when he chooses to – it’s that he doesn’t want to. People are cruel, and people are idiots. Time and again – starting with his adoptive father, and continuing with every person who’d ever kicked him when he’d already been down – he’s had that truth drilled into him. Erwin and Mike and Hanji have been the very few exceptions to that. Levi had been twenty-eight and jobless and homeless and just about ready to consider turning tricks for a living when Erwin had swerved to avoid a drunk pedestrian and ended up crushing Levi’s bicycle instead, where it had been chained up against a fence; and, three hours later, when Levi had arrived, Erwin had still been waiting there to apologize and offer to buy him a new one. All it had taken was Levi asking for just the money instead – along with a crack about how Erwin’s shitty driving would let him eat for a week – and Erwin had flat-out offered him a couch to sleep on.
Seven years later, and he’s still sleeping on a damn couch, though Levi's managed to cling to his own apartments, at times, living with strangers and trying to not go out of his mind; and Erwin's moved since they first met, too. Worked his way up the call center ladder and moved into downtown Vancouver, into a one-bedroom apartment that looks over the Georgia Strait – and Levi is pretty sure he doesn’t actually want to leave, no matter how uncomfortable the couch is. Tries to not think about the way he's crashed here and then tried to get back up on three separate occasions, at this point. Thinks back to when he was in his twenties and getting his oh-so-useful visual arts degree on his older boyfriend’s dime – the only thing the mean bastard had been good for, and the only reason Levi had put up with his bullshit for his four long years of studies – and wonders, for a moment, how he ever ended up here, instead.
“You’re brooding.”
“Can smell that, too, can you?”
He doesn’t have to turn around and look at Mike to know that he’s grinning. Waits until he can hear the big blonde giant opening the fridge and the cupboards before he sucks it up and turns away from the window – god, the view of the river and the mountains is fucking spectacular – and goes to join him. Ends up eating cheerios while Mike and Erwin sit there in their stupid fluffy housecoats looking so fucking domestic Levi wants to bang his head against the table, his chin coming to rest in his hand when Erwin pours Mike’s orange juice for him – no pulp, just the way Mike likes it.
“You two are disgusting.”
“You just wish you were as cute as us.”
“I really don’t.”
Erwin’s smiling, though, so Levi counts it a win. Finishes his cereal and decides to get out of their hair. It’s his first day off in five, and, as exhausted as he is, he’s going to actually go outside today. It’s the least he can do, considering his current living arrangements. He’s already mooching off Erwin – again. The last thing he needs to do is be a cock-blocking bastard on top of that.
- - -
Levi spends his Saturday – his one day off until fucking Thursday – sitting down by the river and drawing the incoming float planes. Ends up managing a few things that he’s happy with, and then crumples up the rest and throws it into the recycling. Goes for a walk – trying to ignore all the happy couples that seem to be everywhere – and eventually buys himself a six-pack with the little bit of money he still has saved, before he wanders back to Erwin’s apartment and curls up on the couch with his beer and his laptop. The apartment is empty and completely silent, which means that Erwin must be over at Mike and Hanje’s, though a quick check of his phone reveals a message from each of them inviting him to join them; and he wavers, for a moment, but he’s already got beer and he’s too comfortable to move, and he has to clean toilets first thing in the morning. God, his life is stupid.
The thought hurts a bit, and he grits his teeth and cracks his beer and logs into Erwin’s Netflix account, looking for something that will distract him until his stupid non-stop brain finally lets him fall asleep for the night.
- - -
It takes one sweep of the office the next morning for Levi to realize that someone’s helping him out.
All the chairs in the cafeteria are pushed in. The sink is clear of dishes. None of the bathrooms have any toilet paper on the floor. And someone’s already taken the mat out of the lobby and put it outside, which is the first thing Levi does every morning. It’s enough to leave him blinking in shock, and then he swallows a growl and considers bee-lining it for Erwin’s office, before remembering that Erwin’s in some big important meeting with Pixis all day; and it's enough to make Levi decide to just suck it up and get to work. If someone’s doing this to screw with him, he’ll figure it out soon enough.
- - -
Of course, it just so happens to be a day that Eren’s working; and while the kid might not be a team leader like Mike or Hanje, he damn near acts like one. It’s about the time that Levi watches Eren comfort a call agent who looks like he’s close to tears – probably over some jerk on the other end of the line – that he realizes that he’s probably been watching Eren a little too closely since about day one. Goes back to sweeping the kitchen and tries to ignore the way Eren and his boyfriend and a swarm of their friends spend their break sitting on the curb, drawing on the sidewalk with fucking chalk. It does nothing to make Levi feel any less old; and by the time the day’s over and he’s walking down the sidewalk – Erwin’s not yet free to drive him, and the closest bus stop that Levi knows of is decent distance away – he’s aching down to his bones. He’d considered himself in pretty good shape before this – he likes the way he looks, at least – but a week of mopping floors and hauling garbage bags has absolved him of that particular notion; and everything hurts. He hurts and he’s tired and he just wants to lie down.
"Done for the evening?”
Levi doesn’t realize that it’s directed at him until he almost walks into Eren. Looks up from his feet and stares at him. The kid is leaning up against a lamppost, his hands at his sides; and Levi tries to ignore how long his legs are. Tries to forget the fact that Eren had spent his lunch break helping one of the younger call agents with what looked like honest-to-god high school math homework, because Eren seems to be a saint of a person who does his best to help out everyone around him; and Levi's just barely opened his mouth before he closing it again as Eren smiles at him, straightening up against the lamppost.
“Fancy a cup of coffee?”
“I – what?”
Eren just shrugs, still smiling, and – what the hell is going on here? How did Eren even find him?
“Where did you even come from?”
“Heading for the same bus stop you are, probably. Caffeine sounds mighty good, though.”
“And you figured you’d just invite the janitor along?”
“Well, given that I think the janitor in question is really damn cute – yeah, I guess I did.”
His lips twitch, as he says it; and Levi’s legs feel like lead, and something is swooping low in his stomach, and – Eren’s still smiling at him, and Levi’s mouth has gone dry, and – Erwin’s going to fucking kill him if he says yes. Hell, Eren’s boyfriend might try to kill him, too. Unless Levi’s been an idiot about that.
“You’re not with blondie?”
“Armin. And you wouldn’t be the first to think so.”
“Must be pretty damn good friends, then.”
“Says you. I’m still not sure I haven’t just asked out my boss’ boyfriend.”
The idea’s only ludicrous because Levi’s been right there for the last seven years, watching as Erwin had slowly fallen ever more in love with the blonde giant who's always managed to make Erwin smile in a way that nobody else can. From the outside, though, Levi knows what he and Erwin look like. Shakes his head, and watches as Eren’s smile pulls higher.
“Then – coffee? Unless you’re not interested, or you’re straight, or taken, or whatever. And then I’d still be happy to go on a friendship date, in that case. Whatever you’d –”
“You’re pretty fucking sure of yourself for a kid.”
“And you’re pretty fucking snarky for a guy who just got offered free caffeine.”
“I want a doughnut, too. And a croissant.”
“Shall I piggyback his highness there, too?”
Levi’s heart is slamming. His chest hurts. His palms might actually be sweating. This – doesn’t happen. This is why he doesn’t talk to people. Once he actually starts talking, his sharp tongue and his real personality and his snark start coming out; and most people scowl at him and piss off. Most people don’t give as good as he does. No one gives at good as he does. And yet Eren is – smirking at him. Looking like he could do this all night. And Levi’s finding it hard to breathe.
“Doubt... doubt you could even carry me.”
“Shall we test that?”
“And end up with me on my ass?”
“I wouldn’t drop you.”
“No fucking –”
“Would make for a hell of a first date memory, though. Trust me?”
“Trust – I don’t even know –”
“I’d offer to let you carry me, but I doubt you could, so – there’s that.”
There’s a blatant sweep of his body, at that, and Eren’s still smirking at him; and Levi’s heart is going to slam out of his chest. He straightens and grinds his teeth. He’ll figure out the kid’s age later.
“Climb on, then, you jerk.”
“Oh, so he can be goaded.”
“You’re a little –”
Eren steps forward, and Levi bites his tongue. Sucks in a breath as Eren stares at him – Levi’s stomach does something painful – and then Eren glances around and climbs up on a bench, and... this is actually happening. Levi couldn’t give a fuck what the people around them think; but, somehow, he’s surprised that Eren doesn’t, either. Ends up staring up at him as Eren beams down at him like an idiot.
“You’re actually serious.”
“Am I gonna just have to stand here all day?”
The people around them are staring, now, and Levi hasn’t felt this good in – a long time. Doesn’t miss the flash of – surprise, maybe? – on Eren’s face when Levi turns, putting his back to him, which... maybe he thought Levi wouldn’t do it? Whatever the case, Levi swallows and just barely stops himself from jumping when a hand settles on each of his shoulders.
“Ready?”
Levi nods, and then staggers when Eren just jumps right up on him. The kid’s heavier than he looks, and Levi ends up teetering when Eren damn near tries to climb him, legs scrabbling for purchase as his sides, and –
“Legs – shit. Legs around me, you little –”
There are legs around his waist, suddenly, crossed in front of him, and Levi’s got his arms hooked underneath Eren’s knees, holding him in place, and Eren’s got his arms around his neck, and he's - laughing. Laughing right into his ear, laughing so hard it’s vibrating through Levi’s entire body; and Levi’s barely breathing, and Eren’s warm and solid, and Levi really shouldn’t be doing this.
“Figured you’d chicken out.”
It’s panted against his ear, and he can hear Eren grinning, and the people around them are very determinedly not looking at them; and Levi feels lighter, suddenly, than he has in a long time. Tightens his grip on Eren and steps forward, affection lancing through him when Eren squeaks and scrabbles for better purchase, still laughing against his neck and Levi shouldn’t be doing this – but he doesn’t care. He just hoists Eren up a bit higher, and swallows when Eren latches on even tighter.
“Figured wrong, kid. Now hold on while I try to not kill us.”
“I’m all yours.”
It’s low breath against his neck, and Levi takes another step, sudden apprehension flashing through him, because he’s possibly getting in over his head here, but – he’s piggybacking a beautiful boy down Main Street in broad fucking daylight. For now, the consequences can go fuck themselves.
- - -
They sit at Tim Hortons until midnight.
Fucking midnight.
Eren orders him his coffee and croissant and his stupid doughnut, and then proceeds to sit there and drink his tea with just a little bit of milk, please, all night; and Levi thinks back to his university days of drinking nothing but straight black tea. Wonders when the fuck he became so coffee dependant. Spends the entire evening staring at Eren’s stupid beautiful face. Learns that Eren and Armin and Mikasa had met long before they all ended up at the youth home that most of Erwin’s employees have come from. Learns that Eren’s mother has passed away, and that his father left. Learns that Mikasa is like a sister to him, and that Armin is like a brother to him, and that the three of them spend a lot of time making trips out to the ocean, renting a car and traveling to the furthest corners of Vancouver Island. Learns that Eren doesn’t have an artistic bone in his body, but that it doesn’t stop him from singing, no matter how much it drives everyone around him crazy. Learns that Eren spends his free time volunteering at an animal shelter, whenever he’s not at work.
For six hours, they sit there and eat crap food and put far too much caffeine into their bodies, and the kid just sits there and tells him his life. Doesn’t seem to care that Levi barely gives him anything back. Needles for details, but doesn’t seem upset when he doesn’t get a lot. Snarks right back at him when Levi starts it, and then gives him little smiles that make Levi’s bones ache, and... Levi is too old for this. He doesn’t dare to ask Eren’s age, either. He’s living at a damn youth shelter. That’s more than telling enough - and this is going to be a one-time thing. They are going to spend one night loitering at Timmies like a couple of delinquents, and then Levi is going to go back to Erwin’s and smother himself with a pillow for a bit, and then that’s going to be the end of it. This is not going to happen again.
Eren walks him home in the rain.
Neither of them has an umbrella, and they’re both soaked by the time they reach Erwin’s apartment, and... Eren doesn’t try to kiss him. Just stares down at him in the rain – his soaking hair plastered to his stupidly attractive face – and keeps his hands to himself. Thanks him for the night, gives him another little smile, and – when Levi doesn’t say anything – turns and walks off.
Levi stands there, freezing, in the rain. Then, he goes inside, leaves his boots at the door, and goes straight into the bathroom. The apartment is silent, and he drops his soaked clothes on the floor, turns the shower up as hot as he can stand it, and takes a moment to hate himself before he gets a hand around himself, leaning his forehead against the cool wall, and trying desperately to keep on breathing. His stomach is fluttering, though, and his heart is hammering, and every vein in his body feels like it's been lit up, arousal and something that feels horribly overwhelmed all shattering through him all at once; and he ends up stands there under the scalding spray until he comes so hard he has to cling to the slippery shower wall, his skin burning all over and his stomach tied in knots, and his heart hammering at the memory of Eren's ridiculously kind smile.