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It all started, as most entertaining things at the Agency did, with a bet.
When Naomi wondered what it would take to make Dazai react to something (genuinely react, not do his goofball act), it didn't take long for all of the younger members of the Agency to get involved, but despite the many attempts, no one managed to get the man to do more than slowly blink at them.
(It didn't help that Dazai knew what they were trying to do, but they didn't know that.)
When Chuuya came to meet Dazai for their date night, it was to find the teenagers huddling together and whispering fiercely.
"What the hell?" he asked, bemused.
"They're trying to make Dazai drop his poker face." Ranpo muttered, more focused on the snacks in front of them than anything else.
"That's it?" Chuuya raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "It's not all that difficult."
"Maybe not for you." Yosano snickered.
Chuuya snorted in agreement, pulling out his cell phone and quickly typing something out, watching as Dazai glanced at the incoming message.
"I don't want to know." Ranpo said immediately.
"It wasn't anything inappropriate." the redheaded mafioso huffed. "Just something I know will get a reaction."
"He doesn't look very affected." Atsushi narrowed his eyes at his mentor consideringly.
"Oh, he is." Chuuya snorted quietly. "Watch this."
He used his Ability to sneak up on his boyfriend silently before reaching out a hand to gently brush Dazai's hair back behind his ear, revealing that the skin there was pink, and it only got pinker at the motion.
"Chuuya!" Dazai yelped in protest when he realized that his boyfriend had arrived and, more importantly, that he'd helped his younger coworkers in their little game.
"Don't mind me, I'm just showing everyone that just because you can keep a straight face doesn't mean you don't still have tells like everyone else." the redhead grinned, earning a huff from the other.
"Ruin all my hard work, why don't you." Dazai muttered petulantly, pouting at his computer screen.
And after that, well, it became a sort of game between them to get the other to react to the other's flirting.
They tried to be more serious about it at first, but it quickly devolved into a war of puns and cheesy lines, because despite their reputations, they were both massive dorks.
Dazai tried to stop himself from grinning as he and Chuuya seamlessly moved with each other to put away the groceries they'd just bought, not having to look at each other to anticipate the other's movements.
It was hardly a new level of synchronization for the two of them, but to have it happen off the battle field and in such a domestic situation was new, and Dazai was glad that they had the opportunity to experience it.
"Hey, Chuuya~!" he sang, smiling as he pulled out one of the vegetables Chuuya had insisted they buy. "You're a cute-cumber!"
Chuuya turned to stare at him, glancing down at the offered vegetable.
"That was horrible." the redhead informed him.
Dazai pouted as the other turned around, but not even ten seconds later a block of cheese entered his field of vision.
"This might be a little cheesy, but I think you're pretty grate." Chuuya mumbled with an embarrassed flush before yelping as Dazai turned around and smothered him in hugs and kisses at the other's willingness to offer up his own punny lines.
And so it began.
"I knew you were beautiful, but I hadn't realized it was to this extent." Dazai smiled slightly as he gently plucked a leaf from Chuuya's hair. "Look, even the leaves are falling for you."
Chuuya gave him a slow blink as he processed the line before flushing slightly and gently elbowing Dazai in the side.
Still, he wasn't one to just let things go.
"Your hand looks a little heavy, let me hold it for you." he returned, sneaking his hand into Dazai's and intertwining their fingers.
"What on Earth?" Chuuya blinked down at his partner, having felt a yank on their connected hands, only to see him sprawled out on the icy road, eyes wide open in surprise.
"Ah." Dazai's cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment at the uncharacteristic lack of grace. "I must be a snowflake, because I seem to have fallen for you."
"Cute." Chuuya snorted, helping him up.
Still, once they were back at their shared apartment and cuddled up under the kotatsu, Chuuya toed off his socks.
"Chuuya!" Dazai yelped at the feeling of his boyfriend's frozen appendages against his leg.
"Sorry my feet are a bit cold, you knocked my socks off earlier."
"Eh?" Dazai protested, trying to escape the cold toes. "Chuuya, that's not fair! If I have the power to take your clothes off without meaning to, why couldn't it have been your pants?!"
Chuuya gaped in shock for a moment before launching into a tickle attack with his equally cold fingers.
"We'd look pretty cute on a wedding cake together, don't you think?" Chuuya hummed, flipping through a magazine.
Dazai's eyes widened as he froze in place, trying harder than usual not to let a blush creep onto his face.
"I can't imagine a situation where you don't look cute." Dazai managed after a moment.
"That's true." Chuuya smirked, still not looking at his boyfriend.
"Though since you brought it up," Dazai started, a slight tinge of nervousness creeping into his voice despite his best efforts as he reached into his coat pocket and brought out a velvet box, one that he'd avoided jumping into any rivers in fear of losing. "I've always thought that the only thing I would ever really want to change about you is your name."
And his hat, of course, but saying so didn't exactly fit the moment.
This time Chuuya was the one to react, breath hitching and eyes widening slightly as he turned towards Dazai, only for the magazine to fall through his suddenly slack hands as he saw the black box and, more importantly, the ring inside it.
"And if I think I'd prefer you to be the one to change their name?" Chuuya breathed out the question, unable to look away.
A physical sign that despite everything they two of them had been through, Dazai had already planned to ask him to marry him, even though Chuuya himself had only been testing the waters with his question, since he hadn't known that Dazai was apparently one step ahead of him. As usual. But in this case, he couldn't bring himself to mind.
"I suppose I can live with that." Chuuya looked up to see an honest to god twinkle in his almost fiancé's eyes. "After all, I'm already yours, that would just make it more obvious to others."
The redhead considered that, the wonderful idea that their names would be a sign of their relationship to anyone who tried to flirt with either of them.
"We can hyphenate." he decided, leaning in to kiss his future husband.