Work Text:
It starts with the purchase of this stupid yellow bike.
He buys it over the weekend when he sees it for pretty cheap at a yard sale in his neighborhood. Buck thinks it’ll be a nice way to get more exercise, and he’ll save on gas if he rides it to work. It’s a win win.
Except that the first time he rides it to work, he gets hit by a car and tossed like a rag doll into the middle of the street. Because why not.
“This is the bike lane you asshole!” he yells out when the car barely slows down after the collision. He winces when he manages to get up. He’s got a few scratches on his elbows and knees from the fall but otherwise he seems to be fine. With the exception of being very sore and kind of embarrassed at all the people who just saw him wipe out.
The bike is totaled though, so he ends up leaving it propped against a street sign. Whoever needs bike parts can scavenge it if they please; Buck isn’t dragging the damn thing all the way to work to get made fun of.
He takes the bus the rest of the way, his helmet in his hands. Guess he doesn’t need this anymore either, he sighs.
Because of the stupid bike and the stupid driver who wasn’t paying any attention to the road, Buck is late to work by a good chunk of time, and he’s got his excuse on his tongue ready to go, but Bobby is not in the mood to hear it. Which is understandable. Buck knows what today is.
“If you don’t feel like showing up on time, don’t bother showing up at all next time, we clear?” he reprimands, in front of everyone. Buck swallows and nods, head down. “Good, now get your gear, we’re heading out.” he orders, shaking his head.
Buck is clumsy getting his suit on, in a rush to catch up with his teammates. Eddie gives him a look of sympathy and helps him. “Thanks.”
Eddie nods. He’s been late a handful of times before, usually something to do with Christopher, and the Captain is normally very understanding. He’s surprised by Bobby’s response to Buck’s tardiness.
The sirens give Buck a splitting headache, and he can barely hear Bobby talk over them. Clipped by a car, bike destroyed, late to work, boss mad at him, and now a migraine.
Could this day get any worse?
Buck is dumb. He’s so dumb for asking, because the world replies with a resounding “You have no idea.”
Their first call of the day ends up being in a high rise that’s collapsed due to poor the foundation structure. There are people trapped inside that need rescuing and quick.
They split into different teams and prioritize efficiently.
Everything is going surprisingly well. Civilian injuries are minor and they’ve succeeded in getting nearly everyone out when Buck almost drops the person he’s carrying up from a downed elevator.
“Hey, watch it!” the man shouts. “What the hell kind of rescue operation is this?”
Buck apologizes as they’re brought up from the elevator. The migraine has only gotten worse and worse in the last couple of hours, and this guy’s yelling isn’t helping.
Bobby notices and marches over. “Sir, are you alright?”
The man shakes his head. “This so-called firefighter almost killed me!” the man accuses, glaring daggers at Buck.
After soothing the angry man, Bobby turns to Buck and practically drags him to the other side of the elevator, letting the rest of his team to work on saving the last two civilians.
Buck sways in place, blinking hazily. Bobby’s mouth hangs open in shock. “Buck, are you drunk right now?” he whispers harshly, grabbing him by the folds of his jacket.
Now that he recalls, Buck had looked a little flushed this morning and hadn’t been entirely steady, needing Eddie’s help to get his gear on, after coming in late. The Captain is beyond livid.
Buck shakes his head in vehement denial, but when he speaks, he slurs his words. “M’not drunk Cap.”
Bobby stares at him in awe. “I can’t believe you right now. I expected better from you Evan; I am so disappointed. You’re going to get into the truck and you’re going to sit there until we’re done here and when we get to the station I will decide what to do with you then.”
Buck watches the Captain turn away from him with confusion. Why is Bobby mad at him? And worse yet, disappointed . Maybe if he follows orders and behaves Bobby will be nice to him again. He stumbles past his teammates and out of the building, and somehow makes it up into the truck, though he does fall backwards the first time he tries, much to his embarrassment.
“Are you sure he was drunk?” Hen asks for the millionth time, after they’ve rescued everyone and evacuated the building.
“If not drunk, he was very hungover, Hen, you saw him with your own two eyes, he was stumbling over his own two feet on his way out of here.” Bobby sighs, angry.
They make their way to the engine and if Hen had doubts before, they’re gone now. Buck is soundly asleep inside the truck. He’s definitely not sober. In any other case Buck would be waiting for them outside the truck, pacing anxiously and wondering how to make it up to the Captain or defend himself against these false claims.
“Wake. Up.” Bobby slams his helmet down, only a little guilty when Buck winces at the noise and startles awake. “You have some nerve deciding to take a damn nap while we’re out there risking our asses one man down because of you.”
Buck starts to say something, but covers his mouth quickly the next second. He pitches over, barely just opening the door and throws up chunks of his breakfast over the side of the truck.
Chim thinks Bobby might actually have an aneurysm, the way that little vein on his head is throbbing. Buck hasn’t done something this dumb and careless since he first started at the 118. Chim can’t think of why he would backtrack all of his progress like this. He can only chalk it up to youthful stupidity. And perhaps one too many tequila shots…
When he’s finally done expelling every last thing in his stomach, Bobby roughly pulls him back inside, by the collar of his uniform. “You are done , when we get to the station, do you understand me? Done.” Bobby can’t believe the kids’ audacity. After being given a second chance, no less.
Buck, for his part, doesn’t try to defend himself or change the Captains’ mind. He leans back against his seat, covers his face with one hand and tries to breathe through the nausea the rest of the ride back.
Eddie scoots over so that he’s closer to Buck. “You ok?” he half-whispers, aware of his very pissed off Captain sitting in the front.
Buck gulps. “Head hurts.” he’s still concealing his face; the darkness helps, but not by much, it feels like someone is drilling a hole into the back of his skull. And he has no clue as to why they’re suddenly moving, to top it all off.
Eddie rubs his shoulder in sympathy. He agrees with the Captain, that coming to work--specifically their type of job--drunk or hungover is unprofessional, but he also remembers being in his twenties and going a little too hard with his pals some nights. He hopes the Captains’ sour mood improves by even half a margin by the time they get to the station, or he doubts Buck is getting out of this one unscathed.
Chim grimaces. “You really screwed the pooch this time man.” Unlike Eddie, who’s a pretty optimistic guy, Chim likes to think himself a realist. And the reality of the situation is that Buck is fucked.
Hen sighs. “He’s right Buck, you know today is definitely not the day to screw up, and here you are coming in drunk? What the hell were you thinking?” Today is the anniversary of the tragic night Bobby’s family perished in that fire. It’s not common knowledge, but out of everyone here, she and Buck are aware of todays’ significance. “You need to stop acting like a jackass and apologize.”
Buck moans, leaning against Eddie’s chest now. If he tries to sit up, he's going to fall over or throw up again, or both. Why is the room moving? Are they in a car? God, he feels awful. “Think’m’dyin’.” he slurs incoherently. It sounds like the most of his team is angry at him. One part of him wants to figure out why, what did he do? And how can he fix it? The other part is too busy trying to figure out how to stop the pain. He wonders if he can amputate his own head just to get it to stop already.
“This is why you should always stick to beer, Buckaroo.” Chimney chimes in.
They come to a stop a few minutes later and Eddie has to help Buck out of the fire engine before he can attempt to get down by himself and ends up face planting it on the floor.
“In my office Buckley, five minutes.”
Eddie tries to see it as a good sign that at least the Captain is giving Buck a few minutes to take off all his heavy gear. “Buck, what the hell did you drink last night? Moon shine?” Eddie questions, as he supports him on his way up the stairs to the Captains’ office, after he’s helped him with his uniform in the locker room.
Buck looks at him for a second, eyes unfocused. “What? M’not drunk.”
Eddie pauses. “What?”
Bobby meets them at the top of the stairs. “I got it from here, thank you Eddie.” he hauls Buck into his office and slams the door shut before the other firefighter can say anything.
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
Buck glances around the room before spotting a chair.
“I don’t care how hungover you are or how shitty you feel right now,” Bobby shoves the chair he’s eyeing out of the way. “I don’t care that you’re uncomfortable or nauseous or tired from your night of partying.
“What I care about, is that you endangered the public with your reckless and stupid decisions last night. You knew you had to get up for a shift this morning for a job that requires you to be alert, one hundred percent of the time, or people die, Buck. Do you not get that yet?
“You risked lives today. You risked civilian lives, you risked our lives, your teams lives. And if none of that concerns you, at least give a damn about your own life, because you risked that too, coming in here drunk or hungover or, I don’t even know what you are right now.” Bobby shakes his head. “You have really let me down, Evan.”
The Captains’ words sting. Buck has always aimed to please Captain Nash. He’s the father figure Buck made do without, growing up. Buck has no idea why he’s saying these things, all he knows is that they hurt.
Bobby is expecting Buck to fight back, defend himself, or start begging for his job. What he’s not expecting is the strangled sob that comes out of his mouth.
“I-I’m sorry.” he cries, “I d-d-don’t know wha’ I did. Why are you yelling?” he lets out another pitiful sob, his shoulders shaking with each hitched breathe. He looks miserable and discomposed.
Someone might as well throw a bucket of ice cold water over his head, because that’s how Bobby feels the moment he realizes his assumptions have been dead wrong this entire time. “Evan, shit, c’mere sit, sit down. Jesus .” He leads Buck to the chair he’d denied him earlier and makes him sit down. “Buck, look at me, did you hit your head today or last night?”
Buck shudders, tears still falling. “What?” He’s so lost.
Bobby curses. How could he have been so blind? He rushes over to his door and calls out for the team. “Something’s wrong!” he yells, panicked.
Hen is the first one up there, shocked at the sight of their youngest member. He’s trembling all over, sobbing openly, like a child. And the poor thing looks disoriented as all hell on top of everything.
“I think he has a concussion.” Bobby tells them, simultaneously worried and terrified.
Eddie beats himself up for not having voiced his concerns earlier. He knew this was too out of character for Buck, and the way he’d been acting was more out of sorts than straight up hungover or drunk.
Chim gently checks his head for any cuts or bruises and at the very back, he finds a nasty lump. Buckley cringes away, “Stop, stop, I’m s-sorry.” he cries, as though he’s being punished.
Chim snatches his hand back as if he’s been burned, horrified. “ No , no, Buck, buddy, I’m not trying to hurt you, I swear, I just needed to see if you hit your head. I won’t do that again, I’m sorry.”
“We need to get him to a hospital. I think this might be a grade 3 concussion. He was passed out in the truck, for god knows how long before we got there, he can barely walk, he’s confused, and he already vomited once. This is bad.” Eddie looks down at Buck, who’s shaking and crying softly now, silent tears streaming down his face. He wants to scoop him up and never let go, but that can wait until later. Until they know that he’s going to be alright.
While Chim and Hen rush to get the ambulance ready for transport, Eddie and Bobby assist in getting Buck up. Buck falls forward the second he’s standing. Bobby is there to catch him, holding him up against his chest, with Eddie’s help.
“Bobby,” Buck whines. “Don’feel good.” he rests his forehead on the older mans’ shoulder and tries to breathe through the pain.
“I know buddy, I know, I’m so sorry, we’re gonna’ getcha to a hospital, you’re gonna be ok.” Bobby wraps his arm around the kid and squeezes. “I got you.”
He’s agitated by the time they strap him onto the gurney, moaning in agony and confusion, trying to escape his bonds.
“Buck I know you’re scared and you don’t know what’s going on, but I promise you we’re helping. You need to stay still.” Eddie tries.
But Buck is inconsolable, “Get off!” he cries, flailing and kicking at Chimney when he adjusts a strap to keep him in place, so that he doesn’t hurt himself.
The hospital is only minutes away. Or it would be, if life were that easy. Instead, the ambulance comes to a jarring halt.
“Hen, what’s going on? Why are we stopped?” Bobby asks, alarmed.
There’s no answer from the front. A second later the doors open and Hen is standing there with a look on her face that doesn't bode well for anyone. “We’ve got a problem.” she announces. “The road is blocked and there’s no way we can turn back around at this rate. We’re going to have to wait for rescue.”
Bobby gets out of the ambulance and sees exactly why the road is inaccessible. Several cars--up to maybe twenty, at least--have collided in the middle of the highway. The road is a complete and utter disaster. There are cars piled atop each other, some of them toppled sideways, and people are outside of their vehicles, some injured, some not, but all of them yelling and complaining and calling 9-1-1 for help.
“That side of the road is closed off pending construction--I don’t think any of these drivers got the notice. That must have been how this whole mess started.” Hen infers. “There’s no way we’re getting through here.” Behind them other cars have come to a grinding stop as well. They’re surrounded on all sides, and they’re not getting out until another ambulance can come through on the other side of either pileup, or Noah himself parts the sea of cars in their path.
“Dammit!” Bobby curses, clenching and unclenching his fists. He radios for help but dispatch informs him that there’s been another accident taking up priority on the other side of town right now, and they’re going to have to make due until that’s cleared up.
Bobby breathes out his frustration. It won’t do him any good to get angry. “Ok, listen up, Hen, Chim, Eddie, I need you three to grab as much gear as you can and spread out on the scene. Keep your radios with you. Look for people who need serious help and help . I’ll stay in the ambulance with Buck and try to keep him calm until someone can come through to get us. Understood?”
They all look hesitant to leave their friend, especially in his current state, but ultimately, they trust their Captain to look after him.
Since they’re stuck for the time being, Bobby takes the straps off Buck and lets him sit up, albeit precariously.
“Where’re we?” Buck asks, having calmed down substantially, now that he’s free.
Bobby frowns. “In the back of an ambulance, Buck, remember? You have a concussion.”
Buck mutters something.
“What was that?” Bobby leans in.
“Bike.” he repeats. “Got hit by a car on my way to work. First day riding that stupid bike.” he mumbles in a moment of clarity that doesn't last too long.
Bobby’s eyes go wide. “You got hit by a car? Damn it Buck, why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
Buck pulls back. “You were mad. Don’t like it.”
Bobby forces himself to calm down. “Kid, I’m sorry, I overreacted this morning. I should’ve known something was wrong.” he gently takes Bucks’ face in his hands.
Buck leans into the touch. “Hurts.” he complains softly.
“I know, c’mere, lay back down.”
Buck shakes his head, wincing. “No.” he doesn’t want to be strapped back into the gurney. It’s scary. “Wanna’ stay with you.”
Bobby helps him move to the bench next to him and lets Buck lay his head on his shoulder. “I’m gonna’ put ice on the back of your head to help with the swelling.” he warns. It’s really his only option at the moment.
Buck whines pitifully when the Captain lays an ice pack over the lump on his head, but doesn’t try to move away, for which he’s grateful. “Shh, shh, I know, I know, I’m sorry, this will help, I promise.”
Buck’s breath hitches. “You still mad at me?”
Bobby swallows hard. “No, Buck, I shouldn’t have been mad at you in the first place. The moment you told me you weren’t drunk, that should have been my first clue. I should have taken you straight to the ER then. I'm an idiot for not having taken you at your word.”
Buck sniffs. “That mean you’re not disappointed? Don’t wanna’ let you down, Bobby.”
With the hand not holding the ice pack, Bobby squeezes the kid close. “You do me proud every single day Buck.”
Buck scrunches his eyes closed in pain and burrows further into the Captains’ warmth. His head is killing him. “Bobby, make it stop.” he begs.
The only thing he can do is set Buck up with an anti-inflammatory IV to try and help ease the pain. Chim and Eddie had tried earlier but Buck hadn’t been in the right state of mind for it, fighting them the whole way.
“Buck, I need to let you go for a minute, and then I need you to lean against here for me, ok?”
Buck’s eyes shoot open. “No!” he grabs onto Bobbys’ shirt frantically, refusing to let go.
“Buck, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be right here, I just need to get you some medicine.” Bobby reassures him, but even with that, Buck holds on, whining when the Captain is forced to extract himself from the younger mans’ grasp.
He's fast about it, and sets up the IV, warning Buck that he might feel a pinch just before he inserts the needle.
Buck tries to pull his arm away but he's weak and his struggling is all for naught. "I know," Bobby says, "but this should help with the pain. C'mere." After he's done Bobby sits beside him again and tucks Buck against his side, running a soothing hand up and down his flank.
The Captain knows he needs to keep the kid awake with a concussion of this severity, so he starts up a conversation, even if Buck isn't one hundred percent capable of participating in one at the moment.
"Buck, stay with me buddy. How's Maddie doing?"
"Hmm? She's ok. Busy."
"Yeah? That's good. Athena wants to have you all over for dinner this upcoming weekend. Any preferences on the menu?"
"Mashed potatoes."
Bobby lets out a soft chuckle. He knew the answer before even asking. Buck loves Bobby's cooking, but especially his mashed potatoes recipe. "Was that your favorite as a kid, too?" He wonders out loud.
Buck makes a face. "No. Ate 'lot of frozen pizza. I really like your food. Never had home cooked stuff before I met you." He's slurring his words again but Bobby gets the gist of what he's saying.
"Really?" Bobby looks down at the kid, curious. He'd never really given much thought to Buck's past before. He's a kind, sensitive, if impulsive, optimistic young man, so Bobby's never had any reason to wonder at how he might have been raised. Meeting his sister Maddie had only made Bobby double down on the sentiment. They're both such good and loving people, that he had to assume they grew up in a happy home. But he's not stupid. He knows that's not always the case, and looks can often be deceiving.
"Yeah," Buck replies, closing his eyes.
"Hey, hey, stay with me Buck."
"Tired." He whines.
"I need you to stay awake Buck, just until help arrives, ok? And then I promise you can rest." Bobby assures him. "Keep talking to me. Was my food really your first homemade meal?"
"Mhmm. I tried to cook when I was six but, burned my hand so bad had to go to the ER. Mom was pissed."
Bobby raises his eyebrows. There's a scar, faded now, on one of Buck's palms. He's never asked about it, writing it off as some childhood mishap. "That's how you got that scar. Why didn't anyone try to stop you?" Surely if someone saw a six year old near a hot stove they'd do something about it.
"Home alone." Buck closes his eyes again. He's so so tired .
"Why?"
"Mom worked late. Maddie was in after school."
"And your father?"
"He left. Don't remember him."
Bobby gulps. In retrospect it makes sense. The way Buck looked at him sometimes, like a longing he couldn't quite hide. He remembers a nervous Buck asking him for help with his tie on his big date with Abby. Bobby had been more than happy to assist.
Looking back Bobby wants to kick himself for not having noticed earlier. The kid had practically been beaming at him when he'd shown him how to properly knot a tie.
"I'm sorry, that sounds lonely."
"S'ok. I'm ok now." Buck sighs, adjusting his position so that his head is further up on Bobby's shoulder. His head is still pounding but it's not a roaring pain anymore. "Wanna sleep."
Bobby squeezes his arm, gently shaking him awake. "None of that, you gotta stay up for me, Buck." He feels bad when when his youngest firefighter huffs in obvious displeasure. All the poor kid wants to do right now is to get some sleep, he's so exhausted. "How are you and Eddie?" He asks.
Buck looks up at him through his long lashes. "Wha'?"
"You know? Aren't you two together?" Bobby isn't blind. He's seen the way those two look at each other and knows that the bond they've developed over the last few months is strong. Surely they can't still be dancing around their feelings for the other.
Buck shakes his head, wincing when it aggravates his injury. "Just friends."
Bobby gives him a look. "I only thought, since I know you two spend so much time together outside of work. Especially with Christopher. Didn't you guys go to the aquarium this past weekend? Athena showed me the photos on Instagram."
Buck looks flushed now, and Bobby's pretty sure it has nothing to do with the concussion. "You think he likes me?"
Bobby smiles. "Oh absolutely. What's not to like?"
Buck buries his head into the Captain's shoulder, hiding his face. "Think I love him, Bobby." He admits.
"You should tell him that, when you're better. You two are good together, Buck."
Buck leans further into the warmth that is Bobby. "Can I sleep yet?" He's been fighting to keep his eyes open for a long time now, and it's taking its toll on him.
"Stay with me, Buck, just a little longer, please." Bobby begs, but he feels Bucks head loll to one side as he finally gives in and passes out completely.
He tries shaking him again but Buck is knocked out for good and unresponsive. "Shit." He tries his radio again and for the first time that day it seems luck is actually on their side, because the operator informs him that help is less than a minute away.
Hours later when the sun has set on the day from hell Buck awakes to a painfully bright light being shone in his face.
"Stop." He turns the other way, eyes scrunched up.
"Evan, can you open your eyes for me?"
He does, but only because he doesn't recognize that voice. It's a doctor. She greets him with a smile. "Hi Evan, my name is Iesha Green, I'll be your doctor for the remainder of your stay. Do you remember what happened?"
Buck goes to shake his head no but groans in pain at the movement.
Dr. Green grimaces. "Yeah, I don't recommend doing that again. Evan, you have a concussion. Your boss told me you were hit by a vehicle this morning? Do you recall?"
"Um, kind of. Where's Bobby?"
"I needed to do a check up so he and the rest of your team are waiting outside at the moment. It's a pretty severe concussion from what I saw on your x-rays. Do you remember getting the x-rays done?"
Buck blinks. "No. Just. I was with Bobby in an ambulance I think. That's the last thing I remember."
She nods and writes something down. "Ok, that's good. This is the first time you've spoken in full coherent sentences since you were brought in. Do you know what day it is?"
"Uh, Monday?"
"That a guess?"
Buck sighs. "Kinda. I remember getting hit on my bike Monday in the morning. I don't know how much time has passed since then."
Dr. Green nods again. "That's fine. And for the record, yes it is still Monday. Just a few more questions and I'll let you rest and your co-workers can come back in here if you'd like, alright?"
She asks him all the standard questions one would ask of someone with a concussion and nods in approval and before leaving she lets him know a nurse will be back to wake him every few hours with the same questions throughout the night, as a precaution.
As soon as she's out the door the team file in anxiously. "Buck?" Bobby is the first at his bedside, brows furrowed in worry.
"Hey Cap." Buck is relieved to see him but would love nothing more in the moment than to go back to sleep for the next 24 hours. He is absolutely worn out. "Hey guys."
"How're you feeling man?" Howie takes hold of one of his hands and squeezes lightly.
"Tired." He replies honestly. He's too knackered to lie and tell them he's fine.
"Get some sleep, Buck. We're not going anywhere." Eddie says, his eyes conveying more emotion than Buck wants to analyze right this minute.
Beside him, Hen nods in agreement.
Buck clears his throat. "Actually, I'd rather be alone, if you guys don't mind. The doctor said I'll be in and out of sleep anyway. No point in you all staying here." He looks away, not making eye contact with anyone.
"Oh, um, yeah no, of course. I should probably get home to Christopher anyway." Eddie makes a hasty exit that surprises everyone. Hen thought he'd be the first to argue against that idea.
"If that's what you want," she says, frowning. "Call us if you need anything hon."
Chim nods, "Maddies stuck at work but she knows what's going on so she'll be here as soon as she can."
They both leave after that but Bobby stays.
"Are you sure you don't want at least one of us to stay with you? At the very least until your sister can get here. I'll be quiet as a mouse, won't even notice I'm here." He promises.
Buck still won't look up. He fiddles with the white sheet over him and bites his bottom lip. "I don't really remember a lot to be honest, but um, I definitely remember you telling me what a huge let down I am. So I'm good. You can go. I'll be fine by myself. Thanks."
Bobby swallows, hard. "Buck, I--"
"It's cool, I mean, not right this minute it's not. But I'll get over it." Buck shrugs. "I would just really prefer to be alone right now. Please."
Bobby wants to say he's not going anywhere, that he almost lost him today and can't bare the thought of leaving him now, when he's finally awake. But Bobby also doesn't want to intrude any further at this point. The kid is clearly upset with him and if he stays he doubts Buck will get any restful sleep.
Bobby nods respectfully. "If you need anything--"
"Yeah, heard Hen the first time. I'm fine."
"Ok." He wants to say more but what else is there? Instead he walks away, crestfallen.
As exhausted as he is, after that confrontation his dumb brain won't let him sleep.
Buck covers his eyes with his arm, breathing through the pain. They've got him on some light pain killers but his head is still so sore. Any little movement makes him nauseous.
An hour later Maddie rushes into his room, looking like she ran all the way from her car. "Oh god Ev," she hugs him tight. "Chim told me everything. I'm so sorry I couldn't get here any earlier."
He hugs her back. "It's ok Maddie, I'll be fine. Just a hell of a headache for the next couple of weeks."
Maddie looks around. "Where's everyone else?"
"I sent them home."
"What, why? And how ?" She doubts any of them would have left without a fight.
Buck shrugs, pursing his lips. "I um, I kinda kicked them out."
Maddie frowns. "What happened?"
Buck sighs. "It's stupid. You'll think it's stupid."
Maddie grabs a hold of his hand. "C'mon. It's me. You can tell me anything. And even if it is stupid I promise to be nice about it since you're in the hospital with a concussion. But only this one time."
Buck gives in after some cajoling. "Did they tell you how I got the concussion?"
She nods. "Some jerk hit you with a car?"
"Yeah. He knocked me right off my bike this morning. It sucked. I was late to work and Bobby was in a bad mood so he reamed me out without letting me explain." Buck thinks back, trying to piece everything together. "I don't remember everything that happened after that. But I know Bobby pulled me aside at some point and accused me of being drunk. I told him I wasn't but he didn't believe me. Instead he yelled at me and…" he pauses, recalling all the things the Captain had said to him. "He said I was a disappointment and that I was done. And then everybody else just took his side. How could they do that? How could they think I would ever come into work drunk ?" Buck clenches his sheets, knuckles turning white. Is that how they still see him? Even after all this time? Some dumb ass irresponsible kid who doesn't care about anyone but himself?
Maddie, thankfully, doesn't think it's stupid at all. She hugs him again, this time holding him in her arms. "Buck, that's terrible. I'm sorry. They shouldn't have done that." She's surprised that of all people Bobby would lead that crusade. She's met the man and she can tell he really cares for Buck. Certainly more than their own father ever had.
"You should talk to them, Buck. Tell them what's bothering you."
"I did. Well. Sort of. Cap wanted to stay and I told him I remembered what he said to me and, well, he tried to say something but I didn't really wanna hear it." Buck sighs, holding his head in his hands. "M'so tired Maddie, just wanna go to sleep." He whines. Concussions suck.
Maddie calls a nurse to see if they can do anything more for the pain so her little brother can get some rest but the nurse says they don't want to give him too much of anything with a concussion this bad.
As a former nurse herself Maddie understands, but it's still frustrating to sit beside her brother and watch him suffer without being able to actively do anything to help.
Eventually, after a lot of tossing and turning Buck finally passes out.
Unfortunately less than an hour later a nurse is forced to wake him up to ask him all the same questions his doctor asked earlier.
The rest of the night is a blur of pain and the same questions over and over and by the time morning comes around it feels like he hasn't gotten even a wink of sleep.
There's a gentle knock on the door and Maddie turns to see Eddie and Christopher there. "Oh hey guys!" She gets up and greets them both with hugs. "Great timing, I was just about to head down to the cafeteria for some coffee. You guys want anything?"
Eddie shakes his head. "We're ok, thank you though."
"Bucky!" Christopher smiles at the sight of one of his two favorite people.
"Hey buddy," Buck, despite feeling awful, still finds it in him to smile at the kid.
Eddie helps his son sit on the edge of Buck's bed. "Sorry, I know you wanted some alone time but Christopher was really worried after hearing about what happened to you yesterday."
Buck purposely doesn't look at him. "It's ok. Christopher's always welcome."
Eddie's face does something weird, some emotion Buck can't really figure out, before schooling his expression into a neutral one.
Buck asks Christopher about school and friends and Christopher happily shares his latest adventures from the day before. "I told Xavier about the tiger shark we saw at the aquarium on Saturday!"
"That's awesome, what did he think?"
They continue with the conversation until Maddie returns and tells Christopher she saw a vending machine with his name on it out in the corridor if he wanted to join her. She gently corrals Christopher with her before either Buck or Eddie can say anything, not so sneakily leaving the men alone together.
"I'm so sorry Buck."
Buck starts at the abrupt apology. "You don't have to--"
"No, please, let me say this. And then if you want me to leave I will. I shouldn't have gone along with the Captains assumptions. I'm an idiot. I know you're not the kind of person who would ever do something like that, and I should have said something earlier. Especially when you specifically told me you weren't drunk. I don't know what the hell I was thinking and I feel terrible. We could have lost you yesterday. God, I just keep thinking what if we'd let you go home and you fell asleep and never woke up and…" Eddie chokes up. He can't even say it. "Buck I'm so so sorry. I thought when you and Bobby talked the first time that you'd told him you were drunk and that that was how he came to that conclusion. I had no idea, not until you told me yourself, and even then I didn't do anything. I just let you go into the wolfs den. You have no idea how fucking sorry I am, if I could go back I…" he sighs, "but I can't. I'm sorry."
Buck gulps. "I get it. I know you've heard the stories from before you started, about what a fuck up I was. What a hot head and all the dumb ass stunts I pulled. How Bobby gave me all those chances. It's fine."
Eddie shakes his head. "No. It's not. Buck you're my best friend. I should have known better than to just assume the worst like that. I don't give two shits about that gossip or the past, Buck. I care about you. And I didn't show that at all yesterday."
Buck looks up for the first time. "You mean that?"
"Always."
"Thank you. That helps. I remembered a little more throughout the night. Even though you thought I was drunk or hungover or whatever you still helped me, even at the risk of Caps fury."
"It's literally the least I could have done." Eddie sighs. "We all messed up big Buck. Hen and Chim are coming over later to grovel for forgiveness."
Buck nods. "Um, I went off on Bobby yesterday. Did he say anything?"
Eddie frowns. "No, sorry, I haven't had a chance to talk to him. Hen said we should give him some space."
"There's really no one more than Bobby who I've given reason to believe I'd do something that dumb in the first place. I shouldn't have gotten mad at him." Buck groans.
"No, we were being dicks Buck. No excuses. You have a right to be upset. You could have died because we all had our heads up out assess."
"That's a bad word!" Christopher gasps. Maddies behind him looking sheepish for having walked in too early.
Buck laughs, even though it hurts his head. "That's a dollar in the swear jar."
Eddie smirks. "Right you are. Listen, I should get going. I need to drop Christopher off at school soon." He bites his lip nervously. "Um, can I come visit again later?"
Buck nods. "I'd like that." It feels good not to be at odds with his best friend anymore.
Later in the day as Eddie predicted Chimney and Hen come to visit and apologize profusely. Chimney also gets it good from Maddie, who it turns out is a giant momma bear when it comes to her baby brother.
Buck is still sore about it but he tentatively forgives them.
He jokes that if they agree to do his chores at the station for a month he'd be more than happy to wholeheartedly forgive them, and is surprised at the fighting that starts between the two for who gets to do the most grueling of the chores for him.
"Guys, I'm kidding ." He says, wide eyed.
"Buck we're family and you know we'd do anything for you, but yesterday we let you down big time. You can feel free to lord this over our heads for as long as you like. We feel like compete heels for thinking of you in that way." Hen reiterates, face apologetic.
Chimney nods. "Yeah, I think back to all the stupid little jokes I made and literally want to be sick. Buck, we got really lucky this didn't turn out way worse than it did. We love you, man."
Buck looks down, flushed red. “I love you guys too.”
It’s nearly two days later when he hears a familiar voice at the doorway. “Hey, can I come in?”
Buck looks up from his jello. It’s Bobby. He looks awful, bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept since the incident. “Sure.”
He looks at the time. Eddie and Christopher were due to visit in less than an hour.
“How are you feeling?”
Buck shrugs. “Ok.”
Bobby takes the seat beside his bed and sighs. “Want to try that again?”
Buck looks away. “Headache, but Dr. Green says that’s normal with a type four concussion.”
Bobby does a double take. “Type four ?”
“Yeah, that’s why she’s keeping me here until Friday, for observation. She says I should be better in another three weeks if I take it easy. I’m not allowed to use my phone, since looking at the screen might make the headache worse, so I had Maddie send you an email for the time off so I can recover.”
Bobby nods. “I got the email.”
They sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, neither acknowledging the elephant in the room.
At long last, Bobby breaks some of the tension. “I really fucked up.”
Buck tilts his head, nonplussed. Bobby rarely curses.
“I’m supposed to be your captain, and I let my emotions get the best of me that day. I let my own situation cloud my vision, and you ended up suffering for it, Buck.” he shakes his head. “I know the kind of man you are, and I’m proud of that person.”
Buck stares. “Are you?”
Bobby cringes at the accusation in his tone. “I am, Buck, so proud. I was projecting onto you, but you’re not me, you haven’t made my mistakes. I should have never lashed out at you like that. If I’d just,” he pauses, taking a breathe. “If I had just let you talk that morning, instead of going at you like I did, we could’ve gotten you the help you needed sooner. You seized on the way to the hospital. When you woke up the first time, they tried to get you to lie still for an x-ray and you were so scared you cried out for me. For me .” Bobby looks like he might cry. “Buck, I am never going to forgive myself for what I made you go through that day. You deserved better. I should have been better. I don’t expect you to forgive me, either, I don’t--”
Buck interrupts. “You can’t really expect me to forgive you until you actually, you know, apologize.”
“ I am so sorry, Buck .” Bobby quickly swipes away the tear on his cheek. This isn’t about him, he doesn’t want Buck to have to comfort him. Not when all of this mess is his fault.
“Ok,” Buck says, very serious. “You’re forgiven, but only on one condition.”
“Anything.”
“I want your mashed potatoes recipe in writing.”
Bobby blinks. “What?”
Buck gives him a half-smile. “Deal?”
Bobby wipes another stray tear. “Buck, you don’t have to--”
“I know. But I honestly can’t stand being mad at you, Cap.” Buck looks down, frowning. “I um, I think I told you in the ambulance, but I’m not really sure. I grew up without a dad, and my mom worked all the time to feed us and keep a roof over our heads, and Maddie’s older, so she had her own life.
“For a really long time it felt like it was just me. And then I joined the 118 and that changed so drastically. You guys went from coworkers to friends to being my family .” Buck clears his throat. “I know you feel really bad about what happened--everyone does--can we just, I don’t know, hug it out already?”
Bobby has him fully engulfed in his arms within moments.
“I didn’t mean it literally.” Buck says, but he tightens his hold around the Captain as he says it.
“I’m really truly sorry, Buck.” Bobby mutters into his hospital gown.
It’s a long while later when they let go of each other.
Bobby sits back down and says, “So, I don’t know if I can go around giving out mashed potatoes recipes all willy nilly, but I’ll fill you in on a little secret, so long as you promise not to tell anyone else at the station.”
Buck chuckles. “Pinky promise.”
Bobby leans in real close, looks around as though the rest of the crew could be hiding behind the get well balloons in the corner of the room, and smiles affectionately. “You’re my favorite.”
Buck turns fire red, much like their engine and looks away.
At the doorway, Eddie, Christopher, Chim and Hen are standing, watching the duo.
Hen laughs. “Oh, that’s no secret.”
Chim nods. “Parents aren’t supposed to play favorites.” he jokes.
Hen shrugs. “He’s the baby, of course he’s the favorite.”
Christopher looks up. “I’m my dads’ favorite.”
Eddie doesn’t have the heart to tell him that’s a given, considering he’s an only child.
Buck rolls over in his bed away from everyone, covering himself with his blanket, cheeks still red. “You guys are the worst.”
Bobby rests a comforting hand on his shoulder and turns to the rest of the team, a playful smirk on his face. “Leave my kid alone or you’re all on gutter duty for the next month.”
Buck hides his smile under the covers.
But by god does he love his little family.