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1.
The first time Rafael saw it, he stopped mid-sentence and stared, mouth slightly agape. They were going over a victim’s statement; Olivia was reading it, Carisi was taking notes, and Rafael was asking his usual questions and arguing in favor of going to trial soon.
But while he was trying to sooth Olivia’s worries about the victim’s originally shaky disclosure, he saw it. And suddenly he was questioning everything.
Was this new? Had he just never noticed before? No, he was sure that if it had happened before, he would have seen it then. Because he always kept an eye on Carisi, and there was no way he would have missed this.
It was subtle, the sheen on the high points of the Detective’s cheekbones. Rafael probably wouldn’t have noticed it if Carisi hadn’t lowered his head and tilted it just so as he hunched over his notepad.
However, there was more. The champagne toned highlighter was tasteful, classy, and complimented Carisi’s skin beautifully. But it was the mascara on the other man’s eyelashes that had made him stutter in his speech.
The way Carisi’s head was angled now enhanced the current length of his lashes, and Rafael could see the way it fluttered over his cheeks when he blinked. He could bet it tickled, but in a nice way.
Suddenly, Rafael craved to feel it flutter against his own cheeks.
That realization was as surprising as the sight of Detective Carisi wearing makeup.
“Barba?,” came Olivia’s confused voice. “You were saying?”
Olivia’s quip made Carisi look up, and Rafael could see the way the dark mascara contoured his sparkling blue eyes even better now, he could see how it was enhancing them. It was almost artful.
“Apologies,” Rafael said, sounding surprisingly hoarse. He cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I’ll need some more caffeine if we intend on keep going for much longer.”
Olivia sighed, then closed her files. “No, we’ve been going over this for hours, it’s late, I have a child waiting for me,” she checked her watch. “Although I’ve already missed story time.”
“Go, Sarge,” Carisi said with an understanding nod. “I’ll tidy this up and take it back with me.”
“You sure?,” Olivia asked, but she was already up, collecting her coat and bag. Carisi nodded, and she squeezed his shoulder in thanks. “You two better leave, too. We’ll need to start over early tomorrow.”
Rafael’s response was a long-suffering grunt, to which both replied with amused chuckles.
“You need a ride home, Counselor?,” Carisi offered as he tried to separate the files he needed to take from the ones that Rafael would have to keep. “I’ve got the squad car just across the street.”
The ADA was distracted, once again, by the way the highlight reflected from his cheeks as he moved around the conference table. It looked like a frosty champagne color, but he saw some pink in there too. The color was very flattering to Carisi’s skin.
“I like your highlighter,” Rafael said, catching both Carisi and himself by surprise. He wasn’t one to blurt things out, but then again he never imagined the Detective would be one to wear makeup to work.
Carisi had always been full of surprises, though. Great surprises.
“Uh,” Carisi blinked, and suddenly the highlight was met with the natural flush of his cheeks as he blushed. “Thank you.”
Rafael smiled. “No problem,” he stood up. “And to answer your question, yes I’d appreciate a ride. At this hour, God knows how long an Uber would take to come.”
Carisi chuckled. “Glad to know I’m the better alternative.”
“Free, too,” he smirked.
2.
The second time he saw it, Rafael almost didn’t notice. He had grown used to seeing Carisi in highlighter and mascara, so when the Detective strutted into the ADA’s office with a healthy flush and his trademark pout, Rafael wasn’t surprised to see him in his signature look.
However, the additions took a moment to process, given how natural they were. Thanks to Carisi’s complexion, he blushed fairly easily. If it was hot out, if he was on a rush. Whenever Rafael teased him, when Rafael flirted. The pink tinge came up fast, and Rafael had become addicted to the sight of it.
So when he stopped in front of Rafael with his wide stance, the ADA thought, for a minute, that Carisi ran into the building, and that was why he looked so flushed. But then it dawned on him. The Detective was wearing blush. Pastel pink blush, on the apple of his cheeks.
“Trying a new look?,” Rafael asked with a friendly smile, handing Carisi the warrant he came for.
“Yeah,” Carisi beamed. “I watched this in-depth tutorial about where to place blush to look like a natural flush. What do you think?”
“I think you did great,” he offered, leaning back into his chair to watch as the Detective turned his face from one side to the other. “I’d even swear under oath that you ran over here and that’s why you’re flushing.”
Carisi chuckled, then waved a hand at him. “No need to perjure yourself, Counselor.”
He pouted, then, as he often did after a witty remark, and Rafael narrowed his eyes at him. Carisi’s lips always looked pink, and with time the ADA had learned that it was a natural blessing, no need for lipstick or tint. But looking at him now, it looked poutier . Softer, more inviting.
“Are you wearing lipgloss?,” Rafael asked, feeling triumphant once he figured it out.
“Bella’s gift,” Carisi shrugged. “It’s all the hype, this brand called Fenty. You know Rihanna?”
“The singer?”
He nodded. “She’s got a makeup line, great quality, you know. I’m not sure how I feel about gloss, though. Kinda sticky.”
Rafael hummed, staring at the Detective’s mouth in somewhat of a trance, trying to picture what the gloss would feel like on Carisi’s lips. He absentmindedly licked his own lips, hating that it felt dry while Carisi’s looked so soft and wet.
“Counselor?,” Carisi called softly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his beautifully glossy lips.
“Yes,” he shook himself back into reality. “Well, it looks good.”
“Thank you,” the Detective beamed. “You know, you’re the only one who’s always complimenting my makeup.”
Rafael frowned. “What, is anyone giving you a hard time?”
“Nah,” Carisi shook his head. “People either don’t notice it, or choose not to say anything about it. I don’t mind. But thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he smiled.
3.
The third time Rafael saw it, he felt his stomach lurch forward so fast he almost doubled over with the sudden tension in his body.
He had just walked into the 16th precinct. Olivia had called him to say they busted an underage prostitution ring, but it hadn’t been easy. Listening to Olivia recount the hostage situation they’d had to negotiate had been stressful enough, but when he walked in and saw Carisi, it got worse.
He was at his desk, a makeup bag open in front of him, with a big pot of color-correcting concealer on his hand. Rafael approached him in quick steps as the Detective carefully patted concealer over the purple skin around his eyes and winced in pain.
“What happened to you?,” he asked urgently, and the Detective grimaced.
“I’m sorry, Counselor,” Carisi sagged into his chair. “I know this isn’t the look you wanted for my testimony later today, but one of the johns tried to make a run for it. I think I can cover most of the bruise, though.”
“Never mind that, Carisi,” he huffed. “You need some ice, it’s only going to swell.”
Carisi pouted. “But my mascara would run.”
“Seriously?,” Rafael rolled his eyes and opened up his briefcase, pulling out a packet of makeup remover wipes.
“What?,” he chuckled. “Since when do you have makeup wipes on you?”
“Since the day you smudged lipgloss all over your cheek right before the defense called to cross you, two weeks ago,” he tutted. “Honestly, you should have some on you at all times.”
“You’re probably right,” Carisi said meekly, accepting the wipes to remove his mascara and the small patch of concealer he’d half-managed to apply.
“I often am,” Rafael replied smugly. “Now, put some ice on that bruise, don’t apply any concealer on it. I’ll explain it to the judge, if she doesn’t think it’s prejudicial, we’ll go as usual. It’ll be fine.”
“You got it, Counselor,” he smiled, rubbing the wipe on his eyes. It was an unusual sight, Carisi with no mascara, highlighter or blush. He was still annoyingly pretty, though. “How do I look?”
Rafael hummed. “Regular.”
“Hate that,” Carisi joked.
“I bet. Now go and get some ice, I need to talk to Olivia,” he said. “Good job today, Carisi.”
“Thanks,” he winked. “Hey, Counselor, before you go… I was wondering if you’d like to grab a drink sometime? Maybe when half of my face isn’t purple and I can go all out on my favorite highlighter?”
Rafael couldn’t help but laugh lightly. “All out, uh?,” he smirked. “Sure, sounds great.”
“Good,” Carisi beamed, nodding. “Here’s to hoping for a speedy recovery, then.”
“You and me both.”
4.
The fourth and fifth times Rafael saw it happened on the same day, and he felt very overwhelmed.
It was Friday, and that very morning Rafael had walked into a Sephora store to buy Fenty’s new gloss. Sonny had become addicted to them, despite his initial reservations, and apparently there was a new one out that had a pinky tone which Rafael was convinced would look perfect on him.
And now there he was, waiting for Sonny to come by his office, the Sephora bag on display on his desk, containing not only the Fenty gloss, but also the newest highlighting shade and a metallic liquid eyeshadow.
When the door opened, Rafael quickly busied himself with emails on his phone, pretending to be very distracted, but all the while aware of Sonny’s eyes catching the bag, then his tentative steps towards it.
“Hey, Raf,” he greeted softly.
Rafael looked up, pretending to be surprised by the Detective’s presence. “Sonny,” he gestured to the chair across from him. It was hard not to laugh as he watched Sonny take a seat without ever taking his eyes away from the bag. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”
“No problem,” Sonny smiled, looking at Rafael then. “Everything okay?”
“Yes, yes,” he waved a dismissive hand. “Everything’s fine.”
“Yeah?,” Sonny nodded, then looked at the bag again. “You went shopping?”
Rafael hummed, feigning disinterest. “Someone told me about this new Fenty gloss that was coming out…”
Sonny’s eyes widened. “You didn’t.”
Rafael smiled wickedly, then he leaned forward to pick up the bag and handed it to Sonny. He practically snatched it out of Rafael’s hand and opened it like a child on Christmas morning, his face splitting into a huge smile as he pulled out the products and looked everything over.
The pure glee was almost too much to bear as it was, but then Sonny opened the box for the gloss and pulled out his phone, using the camera app as a mirror as he applied it.
Suddenly it was as if Rafael had tunnel vision, and all he could see was the pink glitter coating Sonny’s soft lips in a fair layer of wet-looking gloss. It was beautiful to watch, the way Sonny parted his lips, then pouted at himself, turning his head just right to see the way it caught the light.
“Raf, it’s so beautiful,” he said, still looking at himself. “I think this one looks better than the one Bella gave me. What do you think?”
He lowered his phone to give Rafael an unobstructed view, and God he looked so beautiful . It almost caught him off guard, the way Sonny had had an obvious boost of confidence with the lipgloss on now. His eyes looked brighter, his smile was infectious, and his lips looked good enough to bite into.
“You look stunning,” Rafael told him sincerely, and Sonny beamed.
“Yeah?,” Sonny smiled teasingly. “You think it looks nice?”
Rafael let out a shaky breath. “I do.”
Sonny rubbed his lips together. “It feels really good.”
Rafael felt like his entire body was on fire, and when Sonny stood up, came closer to him, and kissed him, he was sure he was going to explode. It did feel nice, and soft, and a little sticky, but it was Sonny, and that was more than nice, it was perfect .
Sonny pulled back and looked down at Rafael’s lips, smiling wickedly. “It looks great on you too, Counselor.”
5.
Later that same day, Rafael was in a booth at Forlini’s waiting for Sonny to come meet him for dinner. It was their fourth date, and their relationship was growing steadily. Rafael had never seen this coming, and suddenly he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.
Especially not when Sonny walked in wearing the bronze eyeshadow Rafael had bought him, and dark red lipstick.
He froze with his glass of scotch halfway to his lips, watching with his mouth agape as Sonny sat across from him and smiled.
Rafael blinked rapidly, then remembered to close his mouth, and swallowed hard. “Wow,” he breathed. “Sonny, you look gorgeous.”
Sonny ducked his head, grinning in a way that made the dimple on his cheek deepen. “Thanks. I’m wearing the eyeshadow you bought me,” he said eagerly, closing his eyes so Rafael could see.
“It looks amazing on you,” he said, satisfied with his choice. “But you know you don’t have to change your makeup for me, right?”
“Yeah,” Sonny shrugged. “But I wanted to look nice for our date.”
Rafael felt himself melt, then reached over for Sonny’s hand. “You always look amazing. But I definitely appreciate it, especially because I made a great choice with that eyeshadow.”
Sonny chuckled. “Feeling smug, uh?,” he smirked. “You did, though. And it’s super easy to blend, too. Was it too expensive?”
Rafael shrugged, then took a sip of his drink. “Are you hungry?”
“Nice deflection,” he laughed. “You know I can just look it up on the Sephora website, right?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter, Sonny,” Rafael scoffed. “It makes you happy, and I get to see you wear it. That’s more than enough for me.”
Sonny looked up at him with doe eyes and squeezed his hand. “The last boyfriend I had broke up with me when I started wearing makeup. He said that if he were into that he’d be dating a woman.”
Rafael scowled. “Isn’t that just incredibly sexist, gender-constrictive and ignorant.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “He was an idiot, but I guess he hit a nerve, because I stopped wearing it for a while after that.”
Rafael was really close to asking for this individual’s name just so he could hunt him down and make his life complete hell.
“Then Bella gave me that lipgloss, and I had it sitting on my dresser for weeks, itching to try it out but feeling ashamed,” Sonny sighed, seemingly disappointed in himself.
“What changed?,” Rafael asked lightly, still holding on to Sonny’s hand.
“My feelings for you,” he said with no hesitation whatsoever, smiling. “I knew I wanted to get closer to you, get to know you. But I wouldn’t, not before you knew who I really was. I didn’t want to risk another rejection if you found out later.”
Rafael shook his head. “Sonny, I wouldn’t—“
“I know, I know,” Sonny chuckled. “But I had to make sure, so I started wearing makeup to work. And you were so nice and appreciative, I knew it would be okay. And now here we are.”
“Here we are,” Rafael smiled. “Well, I’m glad your ex’s loss is my great gain.”
Sonny beamed. “Mine, too.”
+1
The sixth time (and all the other times after that) Rafael saw it, he was standing beside Sonny in front of his bathroom mirror. They were going through their morning routine, one which Rafael felt honored to share, because being privy to Sonny’s beauty ritual was truly the highest honor. It was mesmerizing to see the way Sonny applied his favorite products, smiling at himself in the mirror, turning his face this way and that way, his confidence growing by the second.
As Rafael was tying his tie, Sonny was fanning highlighter on the high points of his cheekbones. He watched, transfixed, as Sonny applied a coat of dark mascara on his lashes. It was remarkable how his beautifully blue eyes simply popped immediately after the very first swipe. Then he topped it off with a nice layer of gloss on his lips, which looked criminally plump and kissable.
When their eyes met in the mirror, Rafael turned to grab his boyfriend by the tie and pull him into an extra wet and sticky kiss.
Sonny never minded that too much. He did have to reapply his gloss afterwards, though, and that meant he went through them much quicker now. Rafael, always willing to make a favorable deal, promised to keep him well stocked if Sonny promised he'd never deny him a kiss. Sonny’s response was another long, loud kiss.
Rafael felt his heart grow. It grew full of love for the freedom in Sonny’s movement, for his unapologetic nature, for his eagerness and enthusiasm. As Sonny smacked his lips together one last time after reaplying his lipgloss, Rafael felt in awe of him and how honest he was in everything he did, in who he was.
“I’m ready,” Sonny announced with a pout as he made his way out of the bathroom. “Would you like more coffee? I bought an extra travel mug for you.”
Rafael threw him a look. “My answer to that question will never be no.”
Sonny laughed, and Rafael went after the sound in light steps, smiling. Nothing had ever seemed this natural, not even Sonny’s beautifully placed pastel pink blush.