Chapter Text
Lan Xichen rubbed wearily at the spot between his eyes, smothering his sigh of disbelief.
His companion had no compunction in reacting in his usual, more outspoken manner.
“What the fuck-!” Jiang Wanyin, Sect Leader of the Yunmeng Jiang sect exclaimed, and the loud noise made both of their immediate problems stir.
The two child-like figures curled up sleeping in piles of robes, black and white, that looked to have been discarded, but in truth, just didn’t fit the bodies wearing them anymore.
“Is that really-?” Jiang Wanyin demanded as a pair of light amber eyes and a pair of darker grey eyes blinked sleepily at them both.
“I’m afraid so, Sect Leader Jiang.” Lan Xichen moved forward and sank to his haunches beside Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian who had, inexplicably, been turned into four year old children!
“Xichen-ge,” a soft sweet voice whined, surprisingly Wei Wuxian who held his arms up indicating he wanted to be picked up.
Lan Xichen blinked, and smiled gently down at the young boy, cheeks adorably flushed from sleep. Unable to resist, Lan Xichen scooped the child up, robes and all, making sure he was bundled up warmly in the overlarge folds, and set the child against his shoulder. Wei Wuxian laid his head on said shoulder, caught a handful of hair in his sturdy little hand, and closed his eyes again.
Lan Xichen glanced across at Jiang Wanyin, who wore a complicated expression while he looked at the small boy in Lan Xichen’s arms.
“Perhaps the first thing to do would be to take them to safety,” Lan Xichen suggested. “Then we can worry about the how and what to do about it.”
“Fine.” Jiang Wanyin went to pick up Lan Xichen’s (now much) younger brother, but he exclaimed and snatched his hand back, “You little shit!” the tone was disbelieving. Lan Wangji had sunk his teeth into Jiang Wanyin’s arm.
And then Lan Wangji hissed at him.
Jiang Wanyin threw an utterly surprised look at Lan Xichen, who was equally as confused.
“Wangji!” Lan Xichen admonished sternly, which seemed to settle the stubborn set of Lan Wangji’s deceivingly soft young face a little.
It was that moment that a horde of snake-demons burst into the clearing.
Jiang Wanyin drew Sandu, scooped up Lan Wangji with his free arm and began to fight off the demons so they could retreat, all as Lan Xichen swapped Wei Wuxian to his left arm so he could draw Shuoyue and do the same.
The safety of the helpless youngsters was their first responsibility.
***
Later, having joined their respective disciples at the nearest town’s inn, they could begin to deal with the odd situation they’d found themselves in.
Lan Xichen had asked a shocked Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi to buy clothes that would fit their charges while the Jiang Sect’s physician examined Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.
They currently sat on the edge of a bed in Jiang Wanyin’s rooms, holding each other’s hand and Lan Wangji whispered something behind his free hand into Wei Wuxian’s ear while the adults talked.
The physician could do nothing but report that there didn’t appear to be a problem, except the visually obvious one. Both were healthy and whole and hadn’t suffered a qi deviation as far as he could tell.
“That probably leaves some kind of poison or plant cause,” Jiang Wanyin said, considering, “is there anything with known or similar properties?”
“I have heard some tribes of the snake-demons have a poison that can cause unusual effects on the body, especially when it comes into contact with other demonic techniques,” the physician mused, and Jiang Wanyin looked over at Lan Xichen.
“Snake-demons,” Jiang Wanyin’s fist clenched as he played with the ring that held Zidian in agitation. “We were attacked by snake-demons shortly after finding them,” he informed the physician.
“Then we seem to have a reason, if not a solution,” Lan Xichen mused. “Wei Wuxian must have used Chenqing when they encountered a pack of those demons prior to our arrival, defeating them but causing them to change.”
Wanyin turned to the physician again, “What can we do to reverse the effect?”
“I would think the same as any poison, flush it from the bloodstream. Qi circulation and taking some certain herbs should do it, if slowly. I might be able to develop something to speed the process up if we managed to get some of the venom glands to test.”
“I’ll assign disciples to clear some nests,” Jiang Wanyin said, arms folding over his chest as his agitation faded.
Lan Xichen bent and scooped up a Lan Wangji who had tried to sneak past him to exit the room and held his struggling form securely against his chest, “Thank you Sect Leader Jiang.”
***
The rest of the afternoon and evening was taken up in beginning the process of cleansing the poison from the youngsters, having the evening meal and bath and bed routines.
It wasn’t long after he’d set his head down in his own bed that Jiang Cheng heard the commotion that started from the rooms next to their own.
He glanced over at the second bed to check on the young Wei Wuxian, who was just beginning to stir from sleep.
There was the muffled sound of a door slamming open, and a strident, small voice began to yell “I want Wei Ying! I want Wei Ying!”
It came closer and closer down the corridor, and Jiang Cheng could hear the rest of the inn begin to stir at the unholy racket.
That Lan brat. He really had become a little monster.
He heard Lan Xichen admonishing his brother outside Jiang Cheng’s door, heard the small hands begin to bang on the wood before the sound was cut off. But that only began the shouts for “Wei Ying!” again.
He jumped out of bed and hurried across to pull open the doors, the shouts of “Quiet down!” and “Shut that child up!” ringing out from the other guests of the inn.
Lan Xichen held a squirming Lan Wangji in his arms, both of them only dressed in their inner sleeping robes, the latter’s face flushed from his tantrum.
“Wangji!” Lan Xichen exclaimed with the closest tone to exasperation Jiang Cheng had ever heard the Lan Sect Leader use. “Sect Leader Jiang, my apologies, but perhaps we could let them stay together to ensure everyone else in the inn may sleep?” he held his brother out like a sacrificial offering to Jiang Cheng, who eyed the child like we was being handed a viper.
Why did Jiang Cheng feel like he himself was the sacrifice, offered up for the greater good?
He snorted his annoyance, because if he was to be the sacrificial lamb then everyone else had to know what an inconvenience this was, that was just Jiang Cheng’s personality, much as he didn’t like it about himself.
But he still reached out and grabbed Lan Wangji by the armpits, having learned his lesson earlier not bringing him within reach of his own body; the little brat could kick and bite like an animal.
Lan Xichen smiled his thanks while readjusting the collar of his inner robe, which had become slightly skewed during his tussle with the mini whirlwind that was Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng tried so hard not to notice that flash of elegant collarbone, of luminous, unblemished skin. Lan Xichen was indeed the first jade of Lan.
He dragged his eyes back to the little monster swinging free in his grasp. Lan Wangji bared his teeth at him, and Jiang Cheng felt the flare of his temper, having to fight the urge to just toss him back at Lan Xichen, close the door in their faces, and leave them to it.
Perhaps sensing this, Lan Xichen smiled again, murmured a: “Goodnight, Sect Leader Jiang,” which sounded more like a: “Good luck, Sect Leader Jiang,” tugged the door closed from the outside and retreated.
“I want Wei Ying!” there was such bad temper in the voice of the child he held Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“Yes, we all heard you, repeatedly. Causing such a fuss. So much for the elegant, refined Hanguang-jun,” he scoffed, then realised that verbally bullying a small child, even one who hadn’t been a small child yesterday, was perhaps too mean even for him.
He let out a heavy sigh and carried the youngest jade of Lan over to the second bed in the room and plonked him down.
Wei Wuxian moved over and made room for him, and Lan Wangji reached out to grab his hand immediately.
Wei Wuxian patted the other’s hair soothingly with his free hand, “Lan Zhan, you’re so noisy” he told his friend, who had the effrontery to look abashed only when told off by this mini Yiling Patriarch, the wild, untamed demonic cultivator of legend now packaged into a small, sweet, obedient little boy.
The world was upside down. Jiang Cheng threw his arms up in despair.
“Go to sleep. Both of you. If I hear one more sound out of either of you before dawn tomorrow I’ll break your legs.” He didn’t examine what a bad person threatening two four year olds with broken legs made him seem; in reality he meant the threat as little as he did when using it on Jin Ling.
He returned to his own bed but not before noting both of them lay down and burrow into the blankets, back to back and finally blessedly quiet in the case of Lan Wangji.