Chapter Text
ONE
Yu Xi Gu never cooked.
It’s not that he doesn’t know how, just that with all the studying that he needs to do in preparation for college, he doesn’t have the time nor enough money to do so. For him to actually spare a moment in the morning before school to prepare a special home-cooked meal to share with his boyfriend is something that’s way out of the ordinary.
There really isn’t anything special about today. Yu Xi Gu simply wants to surprise Xiang Hao Ting, and to let him know that two can play at this ‘caring for their lover’ game. Ever since they have started dating, it’s always been Hao Ting who makes an effort to make him feel special. Now it’s high time that he returns the favor.
Just this once, he can’t wait for their History class to be over so that he can rush over to his boyfriend, and show him his own version of the beef stew with carrots. He hopes Hao Ting remembers the significance of this as it was the first meal that they shared at the school rooftop, back when Xi Gu was still wary of his intentions. He cannot help letting out a soft chuckle and a smile at the memory.
“Xi Gu, are you okay?” Xia De whispers to him in concern. Thankfully, Xi Gu still has some level of awareness of where he is so his laughter hasn’t been too loud enough for the professor to notice. “You seem a little bit… distracted.”
“I’m fine, Xia De.” Xi Gu reassures his friend, and thereby putting off any thoughts about lunch, choosing to focus on the lecture slides being flashed on the board instead. “Just remembered something funny.”
Xia De smiles fondly at him. Judging from the way the soft upturned lips of Xi Gu hasn’t vanished at all, he can only guess that this memory involves a certain friend of theirs called Xiang Hao Ting. It’s true, Xia De may have been too late to act up on his feelings for the other boy, but he’s glad that Xi Gu has someone now to care for him and make him happy like this. And he couldn’t have found a much more worthy person of that role than Hao Ting. Right now, he’s more than happy taking a backseat and be a supportive friend to both of them instead.
Just then, the buzzing of his phone snaps Xia De away from his own daydreaming. He sneakily glances at his phone to see what it is, and finds out that Hao Ting has sent him a LINE message. He looks up to the boy opposite him, immersed again with the History lecture, before opening the text from Hao Ting.
“Please take Xi Gu to the gang during break. Have lunch with him. Make sure he eats! I’ll be out on an errand today :( Thanks!”
Xia De blinks twice before trying to reread the message. Did he read that right? Seeing as the second reading of the text hasn’t actually changed anything, he types in a reply.
“Okay.”
The couple has been inseparable since they have started going out, whether it’s official or unofficial by Hao Ting’s parents’ standards doesn’t really matter. And this is the first time that Hao Ting will be missing out on lunch with Xi Gu, save for the time that he has been sick and unable to go to school. What errand could be so important that he won’t be able to do it with Xi Gu?
“Great! Thanks! I’ll owe you guys some meat skewers for this.”
He doesn’t have time to take in this last response from Hao Ting because as soon as he receives it, the bell rings, and the person sitting opposite him shoots up like a mushroom out of nowhere.
“I’ll go ahead and meet Hao Ting.” Xi Gu tells him excitedly. “I’ll see you in class after lunch.”
“Err… Xi Gu?” Xia De holds the other boy back. “He’s running an errand during break. Didn’t he tell you?”
He sees the way Xi Gu’s excited expression morph into that of confusion and dare he interpret it, hurt.
“No, he didn’t. In fact, I haven’t received a LINE message from him this morning.” Xi Gu takes out his phone to check his messages. Xiang Hao Ting has never been this unresponsive… except for that one time when… “Is he sick again? I have to go.”
“N-no. He’s in school.” Xia De can’t bear seeing the worried look on Xi Gu’s face. Xiang Hao Ting should owe him more than just meat skewers for this. “Just that he’s busy with something…”
“But what could he be busy about? He didn’t even tell me…” Xi Gu looks so dejected.
“I’m sure he’ll explain everything to you.” Xia De tries to reassure the other, tapping him on the shoulder. That’s when he belatedly notices the lunchbox Xi Gu is carrying with his hands. “Did you prepare that lunchbox for him today?”
Xi Gu nods his head. He is obviously unhappy, judging by the pout of his lips.
“Can you ask Xia En to give this to him?” Xi Gu places the lunchbox to Xia De’s hands. “I don’t think I’m in the mood to eat today.”
“Oh… are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Xia De offers, recalling the favor that Hao Ting has asked him via LINE. “I think he knew you’d be lonely, so he asked us to take you in for lunch.”
“Thank you. But it’s okay.” Xi Gu smiles at him, appreciative of the effort to appease his upset emotions. “It’s not that I don’t want to eat with you guys, but you know, I was just really looking forward to surprise Hao Ting with this meal. Him not being there… I think I won’t be able to eat anyway.”
“Where will you be going, then?” Xia De asks. He does have to tell Hao Ting what’s going on.
“I’ll maybe catch up on some sleep at the clinic.” Xi Gu wonders. “I did wake up pretty early to prepare the lunchbox…”
“O-okay…” Xia De accepts the lunchbox finally. “See you back in class.”
“See you…” Xi Gu waves at him before he steps out of the room.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Yu Xi Gu does try to sleep it off at the clinic. He truly does.
But his mind is so actively thinking about Xiang Hao Ting at that moment that he just couldn’t relax and let sleep take over him.
Ever since he’s accepted that Xiang Hao Ting is chasing after him, the man has been a constant presence in his life. Even in the least expected of moments, he pops out like an unrepentant stalker. Every morning when Xi Gu sets out to leave his apartment, Hao Ting is already there waiting for him. He stands by outside Xi Gu’s last class before lunch so that they could eat together. He even stays behind after school to study with Xi Gu until the guard asks them to go home by 9PM. And even after he gets off work at the bar way past midnight, Xiang Hao Ting will still be there, eagerly waiting for him to come home.
That is why… the absence of Xiang Hao Ting today is just a little bit too jarring for Yu Xi Gu. It unsettles him, and he can’t sleep with an overly hyperactive thought process.
He abandons all attempts at catching some snooze, and instead, decides to do some advance studies at the library.
When he gets there, he immediately heads to the Physics section, with it being the course he wishes to take upon entering university. He is looking through the rows of various physics books, trying to see if there is one that he hasn’t read yet, when he hears a boisterous laugh coming from one of the nearby tables.
That laugh…
It’s familiar. It sounds like his… Xiang Hao Ting?
He decides to peek through a gap between the books in a shelf, and there, in all his high school glory, is Xiang Hao Ting. He seems to be engaged in conversation with someone sitting opposite him, but since he’s unspeakably tall, Xi Gu has no visibility of the other person and he couldn’t quite figure out who it is.
“Wow! That’s brilliant! You’re amazing Li Si Yu!” He hears Hao Ting speak excitedly. He moves and leans a little bit forward, granting the snooping Xi Gu a tiny view of the girl.
“We’ve been together for quite some time, and this is the only time I’m hearing this?” Si Yu laughs softly.
“Impossible! I’m pretty sure I’d have called you amazing before.” Hao Ting reaches out for her hand. “You’re amazing, Li Si Yu!”
Something unpleasant settles in the pit of Xi Gu’s stomach at the sight, and he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it is. All he knows is that if he stays here a little more, he’s going to be sick. He turns around and quietly rushes out of the library, silent tears already flowing out of his eyes.
Before he realizes it, his feet have apparently brought him to the observatory, where they also sometimes hang out whenever they want to be alone. He sits down by the stairs and rubs at his face rather harshly to dry off the wetness that have trickled down his cheeks.
He’s acting irrationally, he decides. He only found them talking to each other, nothing extreme like kissing or worse, something similar to what he has witnessed at the clinic all those months ago. But they did hold hands, and Hao Ting called her amazing…
Yu Xi Gu shakes his head in attempt to drive away those thoughts.
He can’t just assume things. He’ll simply have to clarify with Hao Ting later after class.
But what if there’s really something more going on between Hao Ting and Si Yu? What would he do? Si Yu is pretty, confident, and much more well-off than Xi Gu will ever be. If Hao Ting were to decide between them, surely, he’d choose the one who’d be far less trouble for him. Xi Gu doesn’t even know how he deserves to be loved by someone like Hao Ting in the first place. It all seems surreal for someone as grief-stricken and unfortunate as him.
He heaves a deep sigh.
No use thinking about it for now. He’ll hear Hao Ting’s explanations later on.
When classes have resumed after class, Xi Gu received a LINE message from Hao Ting, his first for the day.
“Got the lunchbox you prepared. My Xi Gu is so sweet! And your cooking is amazing! <3 Sorry I couldn’t spend lunchbreak with you. :’( “
Yu Xi Gu doesn’t know how to take that in. On one side, he feels a fluttery feeling in his chest for being called sweet. But on the other hand, getting described as amazing makes him queasy, recalling how Hao Ting profusely used the word to describe Li Si Yu earlier on.
“That’s okay. Heard you were busy.” He replies, not really intending to fish out the truth of why Hao Ting was unavailable earlier.
“Yeah… I was in a meeting with few friends. :( I’ll prepare lunch for you next time! :D” Hao Ting’s response is immediate.
Friends? But there was clearly only Li Si Yu at the library with him.
“Okay…” He doesn’t want to overthink it anymore. Hao Ting will explain everything later, for sure.
“Just okay? Baby are you still mad? :O“
“Yu Xi Gu? Baby? Why are you not answering?”
“Okay. Maybe your lecture has started. But please answer me as soon as you’re able.”
“Baby, are you mad? :O “
“Xi Gu, baby! Please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry T_T”
These, among many other subsequent messages have been left unread until the end of the period as Yu Xi Gu determinedly decides to focus on the lecture instead.