Acts of Consequence

by Apocrypha

Summary:

The time loop gives Jack a consequence-free opportunity to ask some questions.

Notes:

• Translation into Português brasileiro available: Atos de Consequência by Rosetta (Melime)

 

<<<<< ===========

Jack stood in front of Daniel's office door, gathering his courage. He knew Daniel was inside; the time loop had been going long enough for him to know the positions of the entire SGC staff by heart. He knew why he was here, but even the promise of 'no consequences' wasn't enough to keep him from hesitating. Finally, Jack took a deep breath and knocked.

Daniel answered by calling "Come in," and Jack opened the door.

Seated at his desk, Daniel was surrounded by books, tablets, papers, rocks, and artifacts of every kind. He looked up from his work and smiled at Jack. Then he looked back down.

"I'm kinda busy here, Jack. Whatcha need?"

"Just wanted to talk for a while, Daniel. Don't worry about the work."

Daniel looked up from the tablet he was bent over, the glow from his computer screen casting a blue light over his face. He smiled again. "Well, I do have to worry about it. It's my job." He frowned a little, taking in Jack's serious look. "You need to talk?" Those were words Jack O'Neill didn't say very often, though it'd taken a moment for them to register on Daniel's consciousness.

"Yeah. Seriously, don't worry about the work. You'll just be doing it all over again tomorrow."

"Um... what?"

"Well, not tomorrow. Not exactly." Jack sat down, then leaned forward to pick a pencil off of Daniel's desk and began fiddling with it. "I'm in a time loop. Living the same piece of time over and over."

"Really?" Daniel looked at him carefully. Jack couldn't believe how easily Daniel took to this. Jack knew how he'd react if Daniel came into his office one day and made the same announcement.

"Yeah. I can prove it. Do you remember yesterday how I came in here and annoyed you all afternoon so you couldn't get any work done?"

"Um, no, Jack. Yesterday was a very quiet day. I got a lot done." Daniel was beginning to look a little worried.

"Yeah, for you it was. But my yesterday was today. I hate this part." Jack tossed the pencil aside. "You told me a story. When you were 12 your foster parents had a Dalmatian named 'Spot.'   It chewed up one of your journals and bit you when you tried to get the journal back. You had to get stitches. Remember telling me that?"

Daniel looked shocked. He hated that story and was certain he'd never told it to anyone at the SGC. "No, I don't remember. I'm sure I didn't tell you that."

"You said you'd say that. Did I mention I was in a time loop?"

Blue eyes wide now, Daniel stared at his friend. "Ooookay. You said you wanted to talk. About the time loop? How do we get you out-is it...."

"No," Jack interrupted.   "Not about the time loop. About consequences."

"Consequences?"

"Yep. Consequences."

"Sorry, Jack. I don't get it." Daniel leaned forward in his chair, studying Jack.

"Consequences." Jack stood up, and gestured widely with his arms. "You wouldn't believe the freedom in this. I can do anything -there's literally no tomorrow for me. None. No consequences. Actually, you were even the one that pointed that out to me."

Realization dawned across Daniel's features. "Ah... I see." He grinned. "So what have you done?"

Jack grinned back. "Little of this, little of that. I couldn't believe it at first. Played golf in the gateroom, kissed Sam, smarted off to Hammond - I mean, even more than..." He trailed off at the look on Daniel's face, which had gone from 'co-conspirator' to 'closed' in the blink of an eye. Uh-oh.   Dammit, and he had so not meant to have this particular conversation.

"Really? Been having fun, then?" Daniel said in a neutral voice that spoke volumes more than any emotion would have.

"Uh, look, Daniel, that wasn't what I wanted to talk about."

"Really?"

Oh, sheesh. They were on 'really'. It was the Daniel equivalent of 'Yes, dear.' It could sometimes take days to knock Daniel out of this mood. Jack didn't have days, though. Or rather, he did, but he didn't want to waste them trying to get the determined set out of Daniel's jawline. Jack considered walking out and trying again the next loop, but it had taken him most of the last couple to acknowledge the gnawing feeling in his heart and work up the guts to try this. He did not want to get side-tracked.

"Okay, Daniel, look. Yes, I kissed Carter. Wanted to see...I don't know, really. Just thought it was something I should do." He got up and walked around to the other side of Daniel's desk. "It was okay. Not great. Okay. That's not what I came here to talk about. Don't make me have to start from scratch on my next go-around."

Daniel tilted his head and his face softened a little. He sighed, turned his chair to face Jack, and leaned back. "Okay, Jack, what are you here for?"

Suddenly Jack froze. He forgot each and every single thing he'd thought he'd say. All of it. He stared at Daniel.

Daniel, for his part, was more than a little shocked to see Jack, veteran of the Special Forces, looking for all the world like a deer in the headlights. He couldn't help but smile a little. "Um... what, Jack? Were you planning on kissing me, too?" He was surprised to realize he was still a little annoyed at the thought of Jack kissing Sam, and the words he'd meant as a joke came out a little stilted and harsh to his own ears. Jack turned a deep shade of red and stared at the floor. Daniel, stunned at seeing Jack blush, found it was his turn to stare. Then he realized what that blush had to mean.

"Uh, Jack? Jack?" He bent forward, looking up to catch his friend's eyes. Jack avoided the look, shuffled backwards, and turned to head to the door.

"Never mind, Daniel."

Getting up in a flash, Daniel moved across the room and put a hand on Jack's shoulder, turning the man around gently. "Jack, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have teased you." He waited until Jack met his eyes, then asked, "Why are you here?"

Jack hesitated and the moment drew out.

"I...I'm not sure, Daniel. I thought I knew what I wanted to say, but maybe I don't." He shrugged, and looked down at his feet. "I'm not good at this, consequences or no."

"Jack?" Daniel waited until Jack had looked back up. It took a moment. "You really did come in here to kiss me, didn't you?"

The question hung in the air between them. Finally, Jack spoke. "Not...not exactly. I came in here to see if you wanted to kiss me."

"Playing at semantics now?" Daniel smiled softly. "That isn't like you."

"Semantics? No - I... I just wanted to know if...if you felt this, too. If you ever thought about..." He trailed off, took a breath, and started again. "Sometimes I see you looking at me, from the corner of your eyes, and you're smiling, and I wonder what you're thinking. Sometimes I think you're flirting with me, and I wanted to know..." suddenly out of breath and words, Jack stopped.

"The answer is yes. Yes, I've thought about kissing you. Yes, I've flirted with you. Yes, I've noticed that you're more protective of me than you are of the others. Yes, I've thought about it." Daniel laughed at himself. "Yes, I was jealous earlier when you said you'd kissed Sam." He stopped, grinning at Jack. "Um, Jack? If I let you kiss me, will you go and try to kiss Teal'c tomorrow? Maybe Hammond, the day after?"

"Oh, very funny, Daniel. Yeah, I'm working my way through the SGC, floor by floor. Can hardly wait 'til I get to Frasier."

The two looked at each other then, as the humor left as quickly as it'd come, replaced by questions and hesitation. It was Daniel who broke the silence.

"So...what happens now? Do you want to kiss me?"

"I..." Jack seemed to be having a difficult time forming words. "What happens if I hate it? What happens if..." once again out of breath he let the sentence hang.

"No consequences, remember? Besides, I think the bigger question is, what if you don't hate it? What if we decide this is as good as we thought it would be? That's the real danger, isn't it?"

Wordlessly, Jack nodded. Yes, that was indeed the real danger. That would mean they'd have to have this conversation again, or one like it, when Daniel would remember it. When there would be consequences. And they'd have to decide if they could live with those consequences. Or, on the other side, Jack would have to live with knowing what he could have, and not having it.

The air between the two of them was becoming charged. Jack was suddenly aware of the heightened pulse at the base of Daniel's throat. He swallowed. Daniel reached up and removed his glasses. He set them down on a table nearby and turned back to Jack. The air almost shimmered now, almost visible with heat and anticipation. Jack licked his lips, then reached out and placed a callused hand softly on Daniel's jaw.

The effect was spellbinding. Daniel's eyes fluttered shut, and his lips parted. There was the slightest exhalation of breath - a prayer of a sound in the space of heartbeat. Jack was mesmerized, drawn into the composition of still passion painted under his fingertips. He was pausing now, not from fear, but from the unwillingness to lose the sight before him. Finally, he leaned in, captured Daniel's mouth with his, and began the kiss.

Jack would remember later that it was slow, in the beginning. Exquisite and warm and softer than he'd ever imagined. He would remember, later, realizing with a flash of clarity that no one he'd ever kissed knew him as well as this man did---no one was privy to so many of his secrets and so much of his soul. No one ever had been. He would remember, later, thinking that it must be that intimacy driving him down into Daniel's mouth, into Daniel's arms. He would not be able to remember though, when the kiss had gone from gentle into a fury of passion, or when the possessiveness claimed him and made him want to scream with fierce joy at his victory. He would have felt badly about the strength he'd used, about the way he'd gripped Daniel's short hair in his hand, or bruised the younger man's lips, but even in the haze of passion he had been aware of Daniel's own strength holding him, possessing him in turn.

How had they managed to avoid this? Unbidden, the memory of Daniel's flirtation with Kyra came back to him - the feelings of jealousy he'd had watching Daniel flirt, the feeling of, yes, relief to learn she was who she was because it meant she could never stay. Now, here they were, and Daniel was his and Jack could hear his soul singing. How could he have been afraid this wouldn't feel good? How he could not spend the rest of his life here?

Suddenly, Daniel was gone, pulling away from him, leaving Jack to groan in protest. It was two steps to the door, and there was click of a lock, then one step back into Jack's space, and ...and Daniel was shrugging his jacket to the floor, and starting to pull at his t-shirt. Jack reached out to stop the busy, determined hands.

"Daniel, don't." No response; Daniel was working around Jack's hands, his face full of concentration and desire. "Stop. Daniel, stop." The words got through at last, and Daniel looked up. His eyes were dark with lust, his swollen lips pulling back into a smile that was feral and passionate. It was a Daniel Jack thought he'd never see, a Daniel he hadn't known existed. Jack took in the new expression like sandstone soaking up water until Daniel laughed and moved to strip off his t-shirt. "No, Daniel. Stop."

Daniel faltered, his instincts at war with themselves. "Jack?" Confusion was seeping in around the edges of his blue eyes. "You...you didn't like that? I ...thought..." he was hesitant now, and concerned, but his hands were still entwined in the hem of his shirt.

"Are you kidding? Yeah, Daniel, I 'liked' it. I liked it a lot. I'd like more"

The certainty and aggression came back into Daniel's eyes like a blast furnace re-ignited. He let go of his t-shirt, however, and took the second step back into Jack's personal space, pushing him this time, until Jack was pinned against the edge of the desk.

"Good. Great, in fact." He smiled that wild, passionate smile at Jack, and Jack felt the world shift in some imperceptible but deeply important way. He had never guessed Daniel would be this way: sure and aggressive and direct. He had never guessed he'd like it this much. Jack suddenly realized that Daniel had never done anything half-way in his entire life. There was a seemingly inexhaustible well of concentration the man could pull on, and now Jack saw the full force of it was aimed at him. The thought of it made him dizzy. Daniel bent in, nipped at Jack's neck, then stayed to suckle for a moment before biting, hard. Jack yelped. Daniel chuckled. "Start taking your clothes off, or I'll bite harder," he said with a grin, looking up at Jack through his lashes.

"Daniel. You have to stop." It was getting harder and harder for Jack to keep in mind why stopping was important. And it was important. If Daniel would just let him talk...

"No consequences, right, Jack? I've wanted you for a long time. You can't tell me after a kiss like that..." Daniel's hands were moving again. It was vitally important that they be stopped, so Jack stopped them, though every brain cell he had left was protesting.

"Yes, Daniel, it was ... a great kiss." His lips were brushing Daniel's ear. He couldn't help but let them go for a moment, and Daniel tilted his head, and leaned into the contact. "I'll remember it for the rest of my life." One last feather-light touch on Daniel's ear, then he pulled back. "And you won't. And that's why we have to stop."

A moment of stillness, then Daniel pulled back, looking into Jack's eyes, his reason still clouded with desire. "What?"

"No consequences, right? You won't remember this, Daniel. I want you to remember. I don't want to ... rob you of any more. I want you to tell me weeks later how fantastic it was." He grinned. "Call it vanity."

Blinking, Daniel fell back. There was a chair a step away. He grabbed it, pulled it closer, and fell into it. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He struggled to think. Jack watched the transformation, watched his almost-lover settle back into being his best friend. It was ...it was something that made his heart ache. And that was the point where Jack O'Neill truly realized the stakes he was playing with and for.

Daniel looked up, blinked again, studied Jack as Jack was studying him. "So ... you really didn't just come in here for a quick lay?"

 Jack frowned. He tried to speak without the sarcasm, but didn't manage it. "I don't know what part about that bothers me more, Daniel. Do you think I couldn't get a quick lay on this base with less hassle than this, or do you think I care that little for you?"

The sarcasm was ignored and with long years of practice Daniel extracted the compliment from the sentence.   "I don't know what to think, Jack." He paused, frowning up at Jack with his look of intense concentration. His I'll-figure-this-out-if-it-kills-me-look. "Why did you come in here? Why did you kiss me?"

Jack grabbed another chair, pulling it up next to Daniel's, and sank into it. "I had to know. I had to know if I was imagining things. I had to know if I kissed you if it would be ... awful. I had this nightmare that I'd finally work up the nerve and it would suck, and we'd be stuck with it."

There was a chuckle from Daniel. "It didn't suck, did it?"

"No." It was Jack's turn to chuckle. "No, it didn't. But I didn't work out what I'd do if I got to this point. What... what are we going to do?" He stood up enough to turn his chair to face Daniel more directly. "Daniel, you love your job. You're not going to find another one like this. I don't want to be the one responsible for getting you fired."

"And you're pretty happy with your job...."

"Yeah. I pretty much am. And unless I piss off someone else at the Pentagon, there's a good chance I'll inherit Hammond's job when he retires. I'd be pretty happy with that, too. But men that are known to have other men as lovers don't make General. That's pretty much not one of the options. Not like, oh, say, court-martial, or dishonorable discharge, or getting re-assigned to a desk job in France, or something else equally glamorous."

"Well, then that's that." Daniel sighed and a look of sadness and loss washed over him, deeply and completely before being shuttered away. It broke Jack's heart. "Why did you come in here, then? Why even bother if the risk isn't worth it? Why say it matters what I remember when it doesn't?"

"It does matter, Daniel. I..." it was hard for Jack to finish the thought, still hard for him to vocalize what he was feeling when the feelings were so newly acknowledged. "I care about you, Daniel. A lot. And I liked that kiss. A lot. I'd like more of them. I just... I need to think about this, Daniel. I came in here not knowing if this..." he gestured broadly, "was something worth fighting for. I think it is.   I think, at least, that the fight's worth considering. I think...I think I need to assess the battleground a little more."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'll spend most of my next loop talking to the people who matter and gauging their reactions."

"Talking? To people? Wow, I'm touched. You really do care." Daniel laughed at the face Jack made, then asked, "What people?"

"Well, Hammond, to begin with. He has the biggest potential to bring it all down."

"Hammond? George? He's practically adopted you."

"No, Daniel, he's practically adopted you. Which is why he has the greatest potential to be very, very disappointed in us. And if it's something that really repulses him, he has the most ability to cause harm."

"Okay." Daniel didn't like it, but couldn't fault the logic. "Who else? Oh, Sam and Teal'c."

Jack considered the question for a moment. "They're around us the most; they're the most likely to see something if we slip. Teal'c's a problem, though, he's in the loop with me."

"Oh?"

"Yep."

"Hmm. Well, I don't think he'll be a problem, anyway. He's said a few things to me about the warrior caste culture of Chulak. I think he was trying to drop hints that I could talk to him about you if I wanted. I didn't, at the time." Daniel paused, thinking, then added, "Oh, don't forget Janet."

"Frasier?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Why? You're kidding, right?" Jack just stared.. "She's our doctor, Jack. And she's a very thorough doctor. And she's a very good doctor.   And she goes over us with a fine-tooth comb after every mission to see if we have any ... unusual 'marks.' Janet has to know. We can fool Sam, Teal'c and Hammond a lot longer than we can fool Janet."

"Ah." Jack was nodding in understanding. "Okay, good point. I guess I so worried about Hammond I didn't think of Janet."

There was silence then for a few moments as the two men contemplated their future.

"Jack?" Jack looked up. Daniel stood, drawing Jack up as well. "If you decide ...the fight's not worth having, maybe you could spend a day in here finishing what we started? I know I won't remember, but I've always liked to think...oh." Daniel changed his mind mid-sentence. "Oh, no. Never mind. Forget I asked. You would remember. You'd have to live with me being clueless." There was a quick pause for a self-depreciating grin. "More clueless than you already think I am, I mean."

"Daniel, don't do that." Jack reached out, cupped the side of Daniel's head in his hand and tried to put as much feeling into the words as he could. "I don't think you're clueless. I think you're brilliant. I appreciate you being on my team and in my life." Daniel looked up, surprised and pleased. "I'm sorry I've never told you that, Daniel. I promise, no matter what else happens, I'll tell you that as soon as you can know I've said it. Okay?"

Daniel nodded, still shocked. Apparently, a recently kissed Jack was a more communicative Jack. 'More's the pity,' Daniel thought. He shook off the regret and smiled. "Yeah, it's a deal. I'd like to hear that again for the first time. Um...there's something else before you go." He licked his lips, suddenly a little scared. He never really expected to say what he was about to say. He reached out, and ran a long finger down the edge of Jack's jaw, then over his throat, and finally placed his hand over Jack's heart. "Remember this: I do love you, Jack. Whatever you decide, I can live with, but either way, that doesn't change. Remember that."

Choking down a sudden urge to cry and shout at the same time, Jack put a hand on the back of Daniel's neck and drew him in for a strong hug. After he felt he could speak, Jack whispered. "I love you, too, Daniel. I'm sorry you won't remember I said so."

Daniel didn't move, didn't pull away or shrug it off; he let the words wash over and sink into him until they'd permeated his subconscious. 'Maybe I can keep them there,' he thought.

Finally, Jack pulled back, and glanced at his watch. "We don't have a lot of time left. I spent most of this loop wandering around and then standing in the hallway earlier trying to work up the guts to come in. I'll get an earlier start tomorrow."

"Um...you could kiss me until it's over." Daniel grinned.

"You've really got a one-track-at-a-time mind, don't you, Danny?"

"Oh, you've no idea."

Jack couldn't think of a reason to say no, and didn't want one, anyway.

 

<<<<< ==========

 

"Come." The voice was clipped and business-like. Jack walked into the General's office to find him bent over paperwork. "Yes, Colonel?"

"General Hammond, I have a, um, personal kind of question to ask you. Got a minute?" The General nodded, and Jack settled into a chair. Hammond waited while Jack spent a moment more than necessary making himself comfortable, and waited longer while Jack stared fixedly at the statue on the desk. Finally, the older man cleared his throat.

"Jack? You had something to say?"

"Um, yeah. I did. I do. Do have something to say. Well, to ask, really." He sighed and faced his CO. "So, okay. Here it is. General, what would you do if you found out that a couple of men under your command were having an affair? I mean, let's say they'd been careful, but you found out about it. What would you do?"

Hammond frowned. "Who are we talking about, Colonel?"

Jack hesitated. "Let's say for the moment it's a hypothetical."

"Hypothetical? Hypothetically it would depend on the men involved. Whether the relationship interfered with their abilities to perform their duties. It would depend on the circumstances under which I'd found out, after all, it isn't just my opinion, here. If it were something the entire base was aware of, I wouldn't have a choice. I'd have to act, no matter who it was, or if I thought it were an issue or not."

"So you're saying if it were something you could overlook, you would? You don't have any personal feelings about the subject that would compel you to bring down the boom?"

"Jack, who are we talking about?"

Jack hesitated again, and thought 'no consequences' one more time. This was the worst, though - worse even than that horrible conversation with Daniel before the kiss. "We're talking about Daniel, sir."

Hammond raised his eyebrows. "Dr. Jackson and whom?"

"Um, me, actually." Jack wondered if he was blushing again, and wondered if it were some sort of medical condition he could get Janet to treat. God, but he hated heart-to-heart talks. Daniel had been right: it was a sign of how much this meant that he was sitting here enduring this. Wasn't there some place he could go and be tortured instead?

Across the room, Major General George Hammond had finished working his mouth wordlessly, and was now reaching for the bottle of very old Scotch and the two tumblers he kept in his cabinet. He poured the two glasses, pushed one across the desk, and took a drink of his before he spoke. "Jack, what in God's name possessed you to come in here and tell me that?"

Oh, goody. Jack sighed. "I'm in a time loop, sir."

"A time loop. Son, have you lost your mind?"

They had the 'I'm in a time loop' discussion. The General was less inclined to believe him than Daniel had been, but in the end he was willing to believe that Jack believed it, and even that was more than Jack needed. It was just a matter of time, after all, and the whole thing would be over, even if Jack had to spend the rest of the afternoon in a cell 'for his own good.'

It took every effort of will Jack possessed to bring Hammond's attention back to the relevant subject: the consequences of any discovery on Hammond's part of a relationship between Jack and his team archaeologist. George very much didn't want to discuss the subject, any more than Jack did, and he didn't have Jack's motivation. Eventually, however, he relented.

"Jack, if you're asking my permission, you don't get it. This isn't a personal decision on my part, it's a professional one." He sighed and shook his head. "I know you and Dr. Jackson have both been through hell, and I believe the two of you have every right to be happy. But I can't condone this. It could ruin your career, which we both know has had nothing short of a miraculous resurrection due to the success of this program. And where is Daniel going to work if he's not working here? Where's he going to go that will give him one tenth of the challenge he has now? You're playing with fire, son."

Jack could only stare at the floor in front of his feet. "I know, sir."

"Besides, Jack - you know as well as I do that there are very good reasons for not being involved...ah, romantically with a member of your team. It makes for bad field decisions. You know that."

"Yes, sir. I do." He looked up. "But that's not really an issue. I care about him, General. I've cared about him for a long time. That won't change either way. That doesn't get 'fixed.' And it isn't something I would fix. And it isn't something that's going to cause any harm to SG-1. It's something that strengthens it."

The General was as surprised by the quiet honesty in Jack's voice as he had been with anything that had yet been said. So that's the way it was, then, and the way it had been, apparently. George could look back over conversations now, and see the way the two of them looked at each other, the way they instinctively called out for each other when either was injured, the way they tended to stand near to one another. He shook his head. On the other side of the desk, Jack finished his last swallow of the expensive alcohol, set the glass down, and stood.

"Thanks for your time, sir."

The door closed, and Hammond poured himself another glass of Scotch, and spoke to an empty room.

"Good luck, son."

 

<<<<< ==========

 

In a back corner of the cafeteria, Jack and Janet watched conspiratorially as Daniel wove his way through people and trays while never taking his eyes off his notebook.

"How does he do that?" Janet wondered out loud.

"He doesn't. He runs into walls. And tables. And statues. And ..., well, let's just say the list is almost endless. See? He only missed Gomez because Gomez saw him and swerved." Jack sighed. "No situational awareness. None."

"And he doesn't know, right now?"

"Nope."         

Janet laughed. Having collected a tray of food, Daniel had pulled his eyes from his notebook, and was now scanning the room, looking for a table. He saw them, and began heading over.

"Hey, Daniel."

"Hi Jack. Janet." He looked back and forth at their identical grins for a moment, then looked down at himself, and back at his companions. "Um...yes? Am I wearing a 'Kick Me' sign, or something?"

"Nope." Jack's grin got a little wider. "Well, no sign anyway. 'Or something' has yet to be ruled out."

"Oh, great. I get to be the punch line and I don't get the joke?"

"It's kind of a long joke, Daniel, and I need to go see Sam." Jack pushed the remains of his lunch away and stood. He ruffled Daniel's hair as he walked away. "And don't worry, Daniel. I'll tell you later."

 Daniel humphed and took a bite of his sandwich. Then he stared at Janet. "You're still here. You can tell me."

Sadly, Janet shook her head. "If I did, the Colonel would kill me." Finally, she took pity on his expression and leaned forward. "He's planning a surprise for you. That's all I can say." Her eyes were dancing.

Rolling his eyes, Daniel took another bite of his sandwich. Jack's sense of humor was always a two-edged sword. He hoped he didn't feel the need to strangle his friend when the surprise unfolded. "And you know what this surprise is, Janet?"

She nodded.

"And am I going to like it?"

"Oh, yes. I think you will."

 

<<<<< ==========

 

Jack took a moment to admire the view from the Cheyenne Mountain before he unrolled the bedroll, unpacked his lunch, and ate. He'd come to this spot many times over the years, and it always helped him think clearly. The clouds moved in lazy patterns overhead as he made sure about his decisions.

  

<<<<< ===========

 

The 'I'm in a time-loop' conversation was getting more stream-lined, for which Jack was grateful. And Daniel was always so amazingly willing to believe and accept and move on.

"You kissed me?"

"And you kissed me back. It was quite the kiss."

"Dammit." Daniel considered the word, decided that it didn't quite convey the depth of his feeling at having missed the event. He selected a few others from various languages and was vocalizing them when a solution occurred to him. "Well, then, you owe me a kiss. A first-kiss kind of kiss." He smiled sweetly and moved around the desk.

"Nope, not going to happen. Sorry."

"Sorry?" The sweet smile stayed in place, but turned dangerous. "What do you mean, 'sorry'?"

"I mean, sorry, but I'm not going to let you kiss me. You can be far, far too distracting and we have things to talk about."

Daniel frowned. "That's not fair."

"Nope. Not in the slightest. And don't pout at me, I've made up my mind."

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes, you are pouting, and, as cute as it is, it isn't going to work, so put the lip away."

Daniel pouted a moment longer, took in the fact that Jack had just called him 'cute', made an assessment about the serious look in Jack's eyes, sighed and fell into a chair. "Fine. I don't get to kiss you. Tease. So what are we 'discussing', then?"

Jack handed Daniel a cup of coffee, good coffee he'd stolen from Sam's private stash and brewed while she was busy elsewhere. Daniel sniffed it experimentally, made a surprised face, and took a sip. Jack pulled up a chair made himself comfortable. "We're going to talk about our careers."

"Oh, yeah, that does sound better than my getting the kiss you owe me. Now I see how you made it to Colonel."

"I made it to Colonel by single-mindedly pursuing goals and being willing to take risks. I screwed up my life by underestimating how much I need people around me that I can care about and take care of. What's important to you, Daniel?"

"You are." Daniel paused. "Or, Jack O'Neill is." He tilted his head. "Are you sure you're Jack O'Neill?"

"Don't make me tell you the Dalmatian story again, Daniel."

"I'm sorry, Jack, this is just, um, a little much. Can you give me a minute?"

"Love to. Can't. I've been talking to people for what feels like years now. I'm beginning to look forward to being captured by a snakehead again. But if I don't do this now, it may not get done. So do you want to talk or not?"

Daniel seriously doubted he'd ever hear those words again. He used some coffee to help him swallow his surprise, then he met Jack's eyes.

"Okay, Jack. Let's talk."

 

<<<<< ==========

 

The SF's were a little surprised to see Colonel O'Neill whistling as he walked down the corridors, but went about their business. Jack knocked once on Daniel's door, and entered before there was an answer. Daniel looked up from the complicated text on a tablet to take in the image of Jack, grinning like he'd just eaten a canary. The grin was infectious, and Daniel grinned back.

"Somebody just kill Apophis?"

"Nah. Better."

"Better than a dead Apophis? Really?"

"Well... maybe not. Close. Come with me." Jack gestured towards the door, and waited for Daniel to get up. Daniel did not get up. Daniel, in fact, stayed quite still. "What?"

"Jack, I have a lot of work to do."

"Daniel, technically, I'm your boss, right?"

"Um, technically, yes."

"Well, you're off work, as of now. Come on."

Daniel was struggling. "Can you at least tell me what this is about?"

"Sure. Time loops. Consequences. Dalmatians. Come on."

"Dalmatians?" Daniel was frowning. "You didn't get me a dog, did you?"

"For cryin' out loud, Daniel. Just for one minute can you not be the most stubborn man on the planet? Just this once can you do something without me explaining why?"

"Oh, I need you explaining why? Me? When was the last time you took me at my word? Did you buy me a dog?"

"No. I promise. No dog, Dalmatian or otherwise. Come on."

"Okay. Fine. But you get to explain to the General why I don't have the translation done for SG-7."

"Done."

Jack knew he was going to have to catch Daniel up to speed, but he couldn't help but just enjoy the moment for a while. It had taken him a surprisingly short amount of time to sabotage the camera wiring to one of the guestrooms and make the excuses that would keep the two of them undisturbed for the afternoon. The time-loop-and-Dalmatian part of the day's entertainment was over before the elevator ride was done, and now the rest of his time stretched out before Jack like a buffet. This had been a really good idea, and after days and days of talking and thinking, it looked even better. Daniel had settled down after the time loop conversation, and was now content to be surprised. Perfect.

The door to the guestroom swung open, then closed behind them, and Jack clicked the lock into place. On a side table was a bottle of very old Scotch and two glasses. Jack opened it, poured and handed one to Daniel.

"I know, I know. Just try it; it's good."

Daniel took a careful sip, and his eyes widened. "This is good. And old. Where'd you get it?"

"Stole it from Hammond's office." Jack's eyes sparkled. "Been a good morning so far. Rest of the day's looking pretty good, too." He was grinning again. Daniel was grinning back at him, though he still didn't know why.

So there was grinning and joking until the glasses were empty, and then there was Daniel, looking curious.

"So, what are we celebrating?"

"We're celebrating being alive."

"We are?"

"Yep. Something Frasier said to me. Be alive. Celebrate being alive."

"Janet said that?"

"Yep. Did you know why she and her husband got divorced?"

"Um... she wanted to join the Air Force?"

"Nope. That's not why." Jack was grinning again.

"Are you going to tell me why?"

"Let's just say Janet's not as interested in men as her husband thought she ought to be."

"Janet?"

"Yep."

"Uh, wow." Daniel chuckled. "Well, I guess I'm not entirely surprised. But why'd she tell you?"

"We were having a conversation. It came up."

"That must have been some conversation."

"Oh, you wouldn't believe the conversations I've been having."

"No?"

"No. Well, maybe. Actually, I'm kinda hoping you will." The grin was back. "The best conversations have been with you, though."

"Me?"

"Yep."

"So, uh... what have we been conversing about?"

"Us."

"Us?"

"Yep."

Daniel blinked a few times, and looked a little wary. "Us. Um...what exactly did we discuss about us?"

"Oh, how about I just kiss you again?"

Daniel sputtered and choked. When he was finished doing that, he looked back to his Scotch glass, but it was empty. He looked back at Jack, who was grinning, and this time it was his best, most dazzling, most charming grin. Daniel knew he had no chance of withstanding it, and had no intention of trying. He set down the empty tumbler and took off his glasses.

"Does that mean you're over being shocked, Daniel?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Jack." Jack's heart started beating faster at the sight of Daniel's eyes lighting up in passion. Daniel took a step forward and frowned at the hand Jack was extending to stop him. "Why aren't you kissing me yet?"

"One thing, Daniel. This is important."

"Important. Got it. What?"

"More important than that. Try again."

Daniel blinked, shook his head, and looked Jack very pointedly in the eyes. "Okay, Jack. I'm listening."

"Good." Jack cupped his hand tenderly under Daniel's chin. "I need you to promise me something, Daniel."

"Okay, what?"

"We're not having sex. Not today. Not here. You have to help me with that. You have to not be so ... persuasive. Okay?"

Daniel very deliberately looked around Jack's shoulder at the large bed behind them. "And you brought us here, why?"

"Because I wanted to be comfortable."

"Comfortable while we're doing what?"

"Kissing."

"Kissing?"

"Kissing."

"Just kissing?"

"Just kissing."

"And why are we just kissing?"

"Do you remember the last time I kissed you, Daniel?"

"Jack, I don't remember the first time you kissed me."

Jack nodded. "And that, Daniel, is why we're just kissing."

Daniel thought about that for a moment, and nodded slowly. "Okay, I get it."

"Promise me then." Jack stroked his thumb along Daniel's jaw line, watching with delight and awe as Daniel trembled. Was the man always this sensitive? "Promise me you'll help keep this under control. I'm not sure I'll be able to stop if you're not helping me."

With wonder Daniel stared at the coffee-colored eyes in front of him. He didn't remember a single kiss, but Jack obviously seemed to have great belief in Daniel's powers of seduction. With a shaky voice, Daniel asked, "I excite you that much?"

Jack nodded, and the grin came back. "Who would have guessed?"

"Not me." Daniel trembled again as Jack's thumb made its way over his cheek and jaw. "I promise Jack. No sex." Somewhere along the line, his eyes had closed. He opened them, and looked at Jack. "I promise. Now will you shut up and kiss me?"

So Jack did. There was no quiet exploration this time; no getting-to-know-you moment. Jack slid his arm around Daniel's waist to pull him in, while the other hand tightened its grip on Daniel's jaw and held him in place. Then their mouths met, hard, as hard as Jack already was, as hard as Daniel was against him. Jack thrilled again to the feel of claiming this man he'd come to realize he loved, thrilled to feel Daniel claiming him back, just as desperately. When he finally let Daniel go, the other man collapsed against him.

Jack could barely hear the quiet words Daniel ground out against the curve of his neck. "I'm already regretting that promise, Jack."

"Too bad," Jack growled back.

Daniel sighed, and kissed Jack's neck, and then pushed him hard so Jack fell onto the bed. While Jack recovered from the surprise, Daniel was already pulling off his own t-shirt.

"Daniel!" Jack's voice carried a warning, but Daniel cut him off.

"I want your hands on my skin. I'm not negotiating this." Daniel's smile was sweet and evil. "This skin or other skin. Pick your battles, Colonel."

"Fine, get over here."

Of course Daniel crawled over Jack onto the bed, and Jack was wondering how much his own promise meant to him when Daniel's mouth was on his own again and he stopped wondering much of anything. His hands, though, wondered what Daniel's skin did feel like, so that had to be investigated. It turned out to feel wonderful.

Time passed, swept along by moans and measured out by gasps. Finally Daniel threw himself off of Jack and towards the other side of the bed. Slowly, he worked out, "I'm going to shoot you with your own gun for making me make that promise."

"No one's guns are going off, Daniel. That was the nature of the promise, remember?"

"Bastard."

Jack just laughed. "All those languages and that's the best you can come up with?"

Daniel rolled over and propped himself up on an elbow. "The purpose of language is to communicate, Jack. I can curse you in Abydonian, but you wouldn't understand, and I would have failed to communicate. Where's the point in that?"

Jack chuckled. He was frustrated, as he'd known he would be, but oddly content. He looked at Daniel, and couldn't help but smile. He knew it was a dopey smile. Ah well. "So we're taking a break, then?"

"We are if you don't want any bullets fired, yes."

"You sound so grumpy," Jack kidded. "You know I'm doing this for you, right?"

Daniel's face softened and a bottomless look came into his eyes. "Yes. I do know that. I ... I still can't believe it, but yes. I can't believe you even thought of it. It's ... it's very, um, sweet of you."

"Hey! Why do you sound so surprised? I can do sweet!" Jack looked a little outraged.

Daniel smiled at him. "Yes, I know you can. I didn't mean it that way. I just... never expected you be this kind of sweet to me."

"Oh. Well, okay. To tell the truth, I didn't either. Fair's fair. So," Jack rolled to face Daniel, propping himself up on an elbow as well. "How does one seduce a linguist, anyway?"

"Oh, I think you've been doing a fine job."

"No, really, I mean it."

"Mean what?"

"What's your idea of the perfect seduction scene?"

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not."

"Really?"

"Really."

Daniel floundered for a moment, then gave up. "I don't know. Honest, Jack, you don't need a lot of props. You're pretty much the main ingredient."

Jack sighed. "Sometimes you're impossible, Daniel. Fine, we'll do it the hard way." He studied the face before him for a moment, smiling softly. "Well, we know beer and hockey are out."

"Um, yeah. Nothing about either does anything for me."

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

"So why do you always watch hockey games with me?"

"That isn't obvious by now?"

Jack thought about that a moment. "You really don't like hockey at all?"

Daniel smiled. "Hockey's okay. I wouldn't go out of my way for it. I would, though, go out of my way for you. And do. Frequently."

"It isn't like I don't go out of my way for you, Daniel."

Daniel's smile widened. "I know. I see." He gestured to include the room. "And it's very sweet."

"Alright. So no beer or hockey. Wine?"

"Wine can be good. What kind?"

"You tell me."

"Red. Cabernet Sauvignon. Properly aged."

"Ah. I'm beginning to understand. You're an expensive date."

"I," Daniel spread a hand against his chest, "am a date worth spending money on."

Jack grinned wickedly. "You know, I believe that."

"If you don't now, you will," Daniel promised.

Then the menu was discussed, and then, Jack's wardrobe, and Daniel's favorite items in it. Jack was surprised and gratified that Daniel even had favorites already. There were other points to work out: fire or no fire, candles or no candles, music?, yes, but which kind? When Jack moved onto questions about the first kiss yet to come - and what would happen after-- Daniel got strangely quiet. Jack wondered why in between asking and trying out Daniel's preference for various approaches, when Jack realized Daniel was very, very near to losing control and was begging for Jack to pull away. Jack did so immediately, and stared down in surprise. Daniel hadn't been difficult to arouse to begin with, but now he was strung tight as a piano wire, trembling uncontrollably and gasping for air.

Jack couldn't help but smile. It almost sounded like a joke: How do you seduce a linguist?

Talk dirty to him.

 

<<<<< ==========

 

Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to do a repeat. They'd barely gotten stopped in time, several times, and Jack was still keyed up and therefore at a disadvantage. He just couldn't resist, though, and so he found himself in Daniel's office, having the time loop and Dalmatian talk. That being done, Jack had gone behind the desk, leaned over and placed his hands onto it, pinning the other man in place. After he was finished whispering in Daniel's ear, the triple Ph.D. was speechless and helpless, and more than willing to follow Jack to the guest quarters, or the briefing room, or anywhere else Jack wanted.

Hours later, Daniel was threatening to shoot him again, and Jack was beginning to think that even the idea of a cold shower was arousing.

"Okay, that's it. I'll never make it through another one of these sessions."

"How else are you planning on spending your time, Jack? Going to take up pottery?"

 

========== >>>>>

 

The music was Bach, the wine was Anderson's Conn Valley Vineyards, and the menu was Bourbon steak with asparagus tips and baby potatoes. There was a fire, but no candles, and the windows were open for the breeze and to keep the fire from making the room stuffy. Jack was wearing his steel gray cotton shirt and an old pair of soft-as-butter jeans that were just a tad too tight to wear in public anymore.

"You can identify my jeans?" Jack was incredulous.

"And you know my favorite over-the-counter allergy medicine. Don't be smug, Jack. I look at you. You shop for me." There was a slightly smug smile which accompanied the words, and Jack had to laugh.

The doorbell rang, as Jack was grinning from his memory. It was going to be good night.

He opened the door with a flourish, and Daniel stepped in, carrying a cheesecake.

"Cheesecake?"

"I thought I'd bring desert. You always forget desert."

Actually, Jack hadn't, this time, but he let it go. "Great. Come on in."

Dinner was fun and Daniel could tell Jack was in a very good mood, though he couldn't figure out why. The conversation coasted easily through sports and politics, movies and music, and settled into a discussion of work when Daniel brought up the time loop.

"You must have been bored to tears, Jack. I'm surprised you were in such a good mood when it all ended."

"Oh, I found things to do to amuse myself," Jack said with an enigmatic grin.

"Yeah? Like what?"

Jack described some of the things he'd found to do around the base, but not being one to make the same mistake twice, he carefully and completely avoided mentioning the kiss with Sam. Daniel laughed pleasantly at the stories of Jack and Teal'c playing keep away with Sam's lab equipment and having water pistol fights in the SGC's hallways. He could tell something important was up, though, when Jack lightly tossed out, "...and I got a chance to talk to some people about some things."

"Talk? To people? You?" Daniel grinned, but his eyes narrowed, and his face settled into concentration.

"Oh, you know, this and that. Talked to you, for one."

"Really? About what?"

Jack raised his wineglass. "Well, for one thing, you told me your favorite kind of wine."

Daniel's mind was very quick, and he had a fine eye for detail. Jack watched him scan the room, contemplate his dinner partner, and form conclusions. Still, it was a big leap. Jack couldn't help but inwardly grin at the questions lurking in Daniel's eyes.

Daniel raised the wineglass slightly. "It's not just my favorite wine, is it, Jack?" His eyes swept over the room again. "That's my favorite sonata, and this is my favorite 'Jack's doing the cooking' meal, and those are my favorite..." his free hand had gestured towards Jack, but he stopped himself right on the verge of saying 'my favorite jeans.' His eyes narrowed as Jack couldn't keep the grin back.

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Never mind." He leaned back, his eyes still narrowed. Jack watched Daniel make the decision to not let himself get baited. Clearly, Jack was playing at something; Daniel had decided to let it play out without any help from him. Good, that means he's done arguing with me.

"Well, if you're sure." Jack stood and went to the counter to fetch the wine bottle. He leaned forward a little farther than was absolutely necessary to get to it. Besides the fit, these were Daniel's favorite jeans because the tightness meant Jack always wore them without underwear. He could feel Daniel's eyes on him the entire time his back was turned. This was even better than he had thought it would be. And they were hardly started.

Returning to the table, Jack divided the last of the wine between their glasses, and gestured towards the stairs. "C'mon up to the balcony. There's something I want to show you."

Daniel smiled a little, shrugged and stood up. It was hard to resist Jack when he was being this charming, and obviously working so hard to please. "Balcony, huh? That's really not my favorite room." He let the last bit go with a casual air, and Jack chuckled.

"Really? Well, I'll try and do better."

Daniel shook his head, still at a loss as to the exact nature of the game, but not really minding. He was having a very good time, anyway.

The night air was cool, as it always was at 6,000 feet. Jack led the two of them to his telescope, then sat down at it, adjusting the angle and the lens. Standing, he motioned for Daniel to sit down. Daniel finished his last drink of the expensive wine, and took the seat.

"There - see it? Mars is as close to the Earth as it's going to be for the next 143 years. You can make out the canyons."

Daniel gave a soft, low whistle. "That's incredible." He glanced up at Jack before looking back into the scope. "Amazing, isn't it? We travel all around the galaxy, but there's something about looking at the planets this way that really brings out the wonder of it all."

"Yeah, it does."

They stayed there for a while sharing each other's company. Daniel asked Jack what constellations had risen lately and Jack pointed out other interstellar sights. Somewhere along the line, Daniel changed his mind: maybe the balcony was his favorite room. At any rate, he loved this kind of time with Jack, the sharing and easy, quiet companionship. He loved the way Jack's voice changed when he talked about the hobby he enjoyed so deeply. The night had gotten even better, and Daniel had almost forgotten his suspicions about the other man being up to something.

They were leaning against the balcony rail when Jack pointed at the Seven Sisters constellation in the East, barely visible above the tree line. In the process of doing so, he had raised his right hand to the back of Daniel's neck. The night air was cool, but Jack's hand was warm, and Daniel closed his eyes briefly in the dark, tuning out Jack's quiet words to enjoy the touch of skin on skin. Jack was so close; Daniel could feel the front of the man's right thigh lightly touching the back of his own left leg. This was the point, Daniel knew, when he needed to watch himself, but here under the dark and star-lit sky there didn't seem to be a reason to struggle. He'd spent years being careful, and would keep doing so, but the truth was that Jack's touches always sent violent, passionate sparks racing through him. Enjoying the moment, Daniel realized Jack had quit talking, and may even have asked him a question.

"Uh, ... I'm sorry, Jack. My mind wandered. What did you say?"

"Wandered? Really? Where to?" Jack had leaned in, and he was so close now, Daniel could feel the breath on his ear. Daniel fought to suppress a tremble, and covered it with a soft shrug when he failed.

"I, uh, I guess I don't know. Thinking about...stars, and ... distances." Daniel was beginning to wish desperately that Jack would move, and yet couldn't bring himself to be the one to break the contact. So close.

"Distances?" Jack chuckled. He shifted his weight and Daniel could feel the full length of the other man's leg pressed into his own. Jack's mouth was a centimeter away from his ear, and Daniel's own breath was coming fast and shallow. He wondered if Jack could feel his heart beating, wondered if Jack could feel the heat rising off his skin. Daniel opened his mouth to speak, but failed. Should he move? No, Jack was initiating this, keeping him this close. Daniel hadn't given anything away. But his blood was beginning to rearrange his anatomy and something was going to give soon.

"You asked me what we talked about. I never did say."

Words came at last, though they were rough and quiet. "No, you didn't."

"We talked about a lot of things, Daniel. Said a lot we need to say again. Important stuff." He laughed again, the breath sending fire into Daniel. "Meaning of life stuff. We'll go over it again. I promise we will. Promise. First things first, though. You're going to be proud of me, Daniel. I've been such a good boy. And I was so tempted not to be good."

Jack moved again, lined his body up more carefully against Daniel's, and this time Daniel couldn't mistake Jack's intentions. His own body responded immediately and painfully, and he started to turn, but was stopped.   Jack had wrapped his left arm around Daniel's and then behind Daniel's back without him noticing. It was a lightly maintained hold, but secure, and the fingertips of the right hand that had been on Daniel's neck was now resting softly on his lips.

"Relax, Daniel, hold still." Jack's lips were moving against the soft skin of Daniel's ear, actually touching him now, and Daniel couldn't help but struggle for a moment, wanting so badly to turn and embrace the man setting his body on fire. The fight was short lived, though, and soon he sagged with a sigh against Jack, who lightly kissed his ear. "That's it. Breathe. We've got all night, got the rest of our lives, and I'm not done yet." At the end of the sentence quiet reassurance gave way to an evil edge, and it made Daniel shiver in the cool air.

"Damn right you're not done yet. Let go of me and we'll start talking 'done,' Jack."

Jack laughed. Gods, but that was doing Daniel in. He reeled, shuddered, gasped for air.

"You're hard to slow down once I hit the 'On' button, Daniel, but I've had practice in this. And I'm not done talking."

"Talking?" Daniel's voice was almost a squeak. "Now you want to talk? I'm going to kill you..."

"Probably. I do find it a little...concerning that you always bring up violence at about this point," Jack was grinning, and Daniel could hear it in his tone. Then the words sunk in.

"How... how many times have we done this, Jack? What did...?"

"Shhh..." Fingertips stroked Daniel's cheek. "I told you, I've been good. Better than I ever would have thought I could be. Nothing happened, though there were times..." Jack let his voice trail off. "I had to keep telling you I was serious, that I'd be back, but you never really believed me. Wanted me to fuck you at least once, but I didn't." Daniel had started at the word, shuddered and groaned. Jack thought of his private joke: how do you arouse a linguist? Oh, no, he wasn't done yet. He placed a soft kiss on Daniel's ear, then held him until his breathing had slowed a bit. Jack could tell Daniel was going to try and use the breath for speaking, so he let his fingers drift back to Daniel's lips, and began speaking first.

"We didn't do anything but kiss, Daniel, for hours and hours. I had to fight you off a few times, though. Keep forgetting how strong you are. But I wanted you to remember it, remember us. Years from now, I'll say, 'Remember our first time?' and you will. You'll remember the first time I undressed you, the first time I sucked you, the first time I buried myself in you."

Daniel was moaning now, whimpering. Jack had come to learn that a Daniel a little or a lot turned on was a force of nature, but a Daniel well and truly aroused was completely helpless. Which meant he could let the restraint up now, and he did, slipping both his arms around Daniel's waist and running his hands up the broad chest trembling below them. Jack let his fingers trace patterns over the cotton shirt and the muscles below it as he started up a string of words guaranteed to keep Daniel weak and quiet.

Jack had waited for this for weeks, imaging what it would be like to not have to hold back, to know that the dance would go to its proper conclusion. It was better than he'd imagined, though, and easier. Knowing they were almost there meant he had all the time in the world; more than enough time to make it perfect. He kept the soft-spoken descriptions following into Daniel's ears as his hands continued to work. His fingertips and nails played lightly with nipples as the language got more and more explicit. Daniel couldn't stop whimpering by the time Jack's hands slid under his shirt, and bonelessly raised his arms when the shirt was lifted off him

The temperature had dropped past cool and into cold, but Daniel's skin was over-heated and the goose-bumps had been raised a long time ago. The soft litany of Jack's speech blended with Daniel's wordless entreaties to form a quiet song of lust and need. The stars danced to the tune; Daniel's entire body thrummed with it. Finally, pushed to his endurance, Daniel found the strength to form words. One word.

"Please, please. Please. pleasepleaseplease..."

"Okay, Daniel. Shhh." Once again, Jack held Daniel firmly and quietly until the shuddering stopped. Then he stepped back. Bereft of Jack's warmth, Daniel shivered, and, finally, turned around. Jack was holding out his hand, and Daniel took it, letting himself be pulled back into the house. The bedroom, specifically, since that was the room that led to the balcony. It was hot inside after the cold night air, and Daniel felt himself start to sweat... or perhaps it wasn't the temperature. He stopped in the middle of the room and turned to watch Jack closing the French doors behind them.

There was something unreal about it all. Daniel could still see the light of the stars above them, could still hear Jack's words flowing into his ears even though the room was completely silent. Moonlight and shadows followed Jack as he crossed the room and took Daniel into his arms. He brushed his fingers lightly across Daniel's cheeks, then carefully slid off Daniel's glasses and put them on a table. Coming back to Daniel's arms, he framed the face before him in strong hands, and leaned in and to cover it lightly with a dozen soft kisses. Daniel had closed his eyes, thrown his head back, given himself entirely over to the moment. Jack took a deep breath, and leaned in to give what Daniel would remember as their first kiss.

Too much; it was too much. Too much teasing for too long for Jack to give the soft kiss he'd meant to. Besides, even at the beginning he hadn't ever really been all that successful at keeping it as gentle as he intended. With a rush of sensation flooding his brain, Jack heard his mind screaming once again that shout of joy and victory it had the very first time. He felt the possessiveness sweep over him like a tsunami, drowning him and leaving nothing soft in it's wake. He gave himself over to it, letting his passions dictate his strength, knowing Daniel wouldn't object.

Under Jack's hands and mouth Daniel was under the force of his own feelings, holding on with a strength that never failed to surprise. Daniel was so much different than anything Jack had felt before. When the kiss was done, they clung to each other still, their heads resting on each other's shoulders, reclaiming air and thought.

"My... God. Jack." Daniel's voice was husky and weak.

Jack laughed, pulling his face away from Daniel's neck. "Sweet of you to say so, but there's plenty of time left for you to call me a God. I mean," his eyes twinkled in the dark room, "I know you've got a big vocabulary, but we've still got all night. You need to pace yourself."

Daniel wanted to give a clever response, he really did, but he was just too content with reality as a whole to muster a proper one. Finally he worked out, "You're annoying when you're this pleased with yourself." He sighed. He hadn't managed to sound even a little put out. Kissing Jack was going to prove to be hard on his arguing skills. And Jack was right, they did still have all night.

Jack stepped back, framed Daniel's face again in his hands, and spent a few more moments taking in the sight before him. He would never get tired of this. He took another step back, and raised his hands to still Daniel's protests.

"Clothes, Daniel."

"Oh, well, yeah. That's okay, then." Daniel smiled and started undoing his pants, but was stopped by Jack slapping his hands away.

"No. Mine."

"Well, hurry, then."

Jack laughed. "Stop rushing things. What - are you afraid you'll wake up?"

An embarrassed grin, then a soft admission. "Yes."

"Quit obsessing." Jack's soft smile kept the words from being harsh. "I mean it." He reached out and took Daniel's jaw in his hand, and locked his eyes into the blue ones before him. "I'm not leaving. This isn't a one-night stand. We have all the time in the world." He frowned a little, watching disbelief, hope, and desire chase each other across Daniel's face. He waited for a moment, knowing the silence would give his next words the weight he wanted them to have. "I love you, Daniel."

Daniel's eyes went shut, then he opened them, blinking furiously. His voice shook when he answered, "I love you, too, Jack."

Jack smiled, and rather impulsively gave Daniel a fierce bear hug. Daniel returned it, clinging to Jack's shoulders as though his life depended on it. Finally they released each other, and smiling like an idiot, Jack knelt down to unfasten Daniel's belt and pants. He kissed and caressed as he went, teasing Daniel and enjoying the moment himself. Then he pointed towards the bed. "Go. Sit."

Daniel went, and sat. Jack walked to Daniel's side, then knelt again and slipped off Daniel's shoes and socks. The pants followed after and Jack slipped off his own shirt and shoes, then settled into the floor at Daniel's feet.

"How come I get teased within an inch of my life, but you get to pull your own clothes off without ceremony?"

"Because you've been teasing me for weeks and it's my turn. Now hush." Jack turned his attention to the thighs and cotton-covered groin in front of him, moving his hands over the skin and material in a slow exploration. Above him, he heard Daniel begin to speak, and cut him off with a few vulgar, but highly descriptive words. Silent, Daniel leaned back on his elbows and let Jack work uninterrupted.

Jack let himself savor the moment, drawing it out until it was time to let it go. Then he slid his fingertips under the edge of the briefs. Daniel raised his hips, and they slid off. Then it was Jack's fingertips on sensitive, bare skin, and Daniel groaned and shuddered. Continuing to take his time, Jack moved his hands slowly over the exposed flesh, drinking in the sight. He'd been silent for some time, and looked up when he realized he was being watched. Jack smiled up at Daniel.

"You're not cut."

Daniel smiled. "No, mutilating male children is a Western custom. I wasn't born here."

"Mutilating?" Jack actually did look a little offended, and Daniel couldn't help but chuckle.

"It isn't unattractive, Jack. Just barbaric." Jack still looked miffed and Daniel laughed and ran a finger over Jack's cheek. "It wasn't a personal criticism, just a cultural one. Are you going to keep going? I'm getting old over here."

"Great. Now, on top of penis criticism, he's making age jokes." But Daniel's soft laugh died in his throat when Jack's face brushed the side of his hard shaft. Jack's hand followed, grasping and giving the first hard, genuine stroke.

"Oh, yes. God, yes. More."

Jack gave a few more strokes before letting the shaft go and kissing a trail up its length. He followed that up with a long stroke from his tongue, then moved his mouth up to the head. He explored the folds of skin with his tongue, pushing the covering back and licking areas unrevealed. Daniel was moaning various words of encouragement, and brushing his fingers through Jack's hair. One swipe with his tongue at the drop of pre-cum glistening on the head, then another strong stroke up and down the shaft with his hand, and Jack paused on the verge of taking the shaft fully into his mouth.

Unbidden, memories came to him, surprising him with their lack of potency. He'd expected this, but now that he was here, the demons that had haunted him had proven to be vapor. Apparently, however, he'd paused a moment too long, because Daniel stirred above him.

"Jack?" The worried voice. Jack looked up and saw the worried frown that matched the worried voice. "Jack, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I really ... I really don't want you to if...."

"No." Jack interrupted with force. "No, I do want to." He meant it, too, even after remembering the airplane flight home from Iraq. He'd sat there, staring out at the clouds, promising himself he'd go the rest of his life without having another man's dick in his mouth, no matter who he had to kill -- even if it was himself. He'd meant the promise at the time; now it was irrelevant.

"It's okay, Daniel. I want to taste you." And it was. And he did.

Jack leaned in, gave the head one last lick and then gathered it into his mouth. Daniel drew a quick breath and groaned.

"That's...God, Jack, that's so good ... don't ... don't rush..." clearly the advice was given for Jack's benefit, and not any desire on Daniel's. He'd clenched his hand a few times in the air to the side of Jack's head, then forcibly buried it in the bedcovers, which he was holding with a death grip. Jack understood that Daniel assumed his hesitancy was due to inexperience, which was an illusion Daniel could be divested of. Jack slid another inch into his mouth, oh so slowly, working the head with his tongue, made a few last strokes on the most sensitive spot, and then without warning swallowed the shaft to the root.

Daniel gave a strangled scream, and bucked, hard. Jack was expecting it, and let the motion come and go. He would have grinned if he could have; Daniel had nailed it earlier - he was insufferably pleased with himself, and due to get more so. He let the muscles in his throat work on the head while he used his tongue as best as he could. Daniel was too gone to talk, but was making noises that indicated he was highly pleased. The shaft was not especially wide, but longer than average, and it was likely Daniel's partners usually couldn't take him like this. Jack contemplated that while his ego glowed with happiness.

How insane was it that every lousy thing that had ever happened to him had brought him to this moment? A hundred things he would have avoided if he could have, and any one of them would have steered him away from the SGC and away from Daniel. How insane was it that after this many years he could be this pleased about his long-gone gag reflex? Jack had had only had two doubts: how hard would be to open his mouth that first time, and how hard would it be to keep the pace slow instead of at a get-it-over-with speed. Neither had proven to be difficult after all -- listening to Daniel make those outrageously happy noises was something he could do all night.

Reaching out with his left hand, Jack found Daniel's right, still clutched in the blanket. Jack pried the fingers loose, and put the hand into his hair. He wanted to let Daniel set the pace, wanted to show him it was okay. There was the smallest bit of a hesitation, then Daniel made more happy noises and buried his fingers in Jack's short, gray hair. Having made the leap that Jack could handle whatever he was given, Daniel began to set a rhythm that was hard and fast. Jack was a little out of practice, but he'd never had this much motivation.

Daniel was building quickly to orgasm. Just a little more ... Jack slid his fingers firmly across the perineum, slick with saliva and sweat, then further down and into the opening below. Given how close Daniel was now, and the utter lack of patience he'd been demonstrating for weeks, Jack made a decision and slid two fingers in without spending a lot of effort on being gentle. His guess had been correct, and Daniel screamed again and began to come.

It took some doing to pull his head back with Daniel's fist in his hair, but Jack managed enough that he was able to keep some of the semen out of the back of his throat. He hadn't been lying; he wanted to taste Daniel. It was as bitter and salty as he remembered, but it was Daniel, and Jack loved it.

Slowly, letting the last tremors die away, Jack sucked Daniel clean, and sat up. Daniel was lying back on the bed, an arm over his face, utterly still. Jack licked his lips clean and went to get a towel from the bathroom. Grinning like a fiend, Jack unbuttoned and slipped off his jeans, rearranged a mostly-incoherent Daniel around on the bed, and cleaned him off.

Comfortable, and still grinning, Jack stretched out beside his lover, and gathered the man up into an embrace. I'll take 'How Do You Get A Linguist To Be Quiet?' for $500, Alex.

Oh, the gloating had just begun.

Daniel groaned, wiggled into Jack, and groaned again.

"Am I dead?"

"Not yet, Daniel. Wanna call me 'God', again?" It was Jack's smug voice.

"Oh... oh. Uh-oh." Daniel covered his face with a pillow.

"Don't even think about suffocating yourself. Not yet anyway. Besides the fact that I have gloating to do, you've been teasing me for weeks, as I may have mentioned, and I was explicitly promised that you'd be worth the cost of the wine."

Daniel looked balefully up. "I am, when I'm not dead. You cheated."

"Cheated? Me? Cheated?" Jack gave his best look of mock outrage. "No, no, Daniel. You assumed. Not my fault."

"Jack, could you stop gloating for long enough to kiss me?"

Jack's face went immediately gentle. "Yeah. Yeah, I can do that." And he did, deep and long. Jack pulled back after a time, and nuzzled his face into Daniel's throat. He was feeling himself fall, watching with disinterest as the control he'd maintained all night slid away from him like sand and was replaced with need. He groaned at the same time Daniel did, and realized he'd been thrusting slowly up against the other man, grinding his cock into the hard muscles of Daniel's thigh. They were both trembling.

"Jack, I really want you inside of me."

Jack wanted it to, which surprised him. He hadn't really thought about this moment, not even as he was buying the lube - which he retrieved from the nightstand - hadn't thought about it in all the time he'd spent thinking about this night. Had he been scared? He didn't feel scared now, only felt the burning desire washing away layer after layer of useless misconceptions. He spread the lube over his fingers and moved to pierce Daniel again.

Daniel groaned, thrust against him, groaned again. Jack had started with two fingers, he used them to spread the lube around, and flirted with Daniel's prostate a moment, causing another deep groan. Slowly he moved his hand back and forth, and Daniel gave another thrust. Jack pulled back, and Daniel growled in frustration.

"Jack?" He looked up, meeting Daniel's eyes, black in the moonlit room. He waited for Daniel to speak. Daniel was flushed, licking his lips and looking... beautiful. Jack smiled. Daniel gathered breath and coherency, and Jack saw that wild, assertive passion flare back in his lover's eyes. "Jack, I want you to know while I appreciate all this 'slow & gentle' stuff you've been working so hard on, we're done with it now. Stop playing around. I've been ready for years. Fuck me, already."

How could Jack refuse? Daniel was already moving his legs over Jack's arms, making himself comfortable and looking impatient. Jack brought his lube-covered hand to his stiff cock, and coated it. That act alone almost made him come, and he wasn't sure he was going to last for anything else. Have to try, though, or Daniel might actually resort to the violence he kept threatening.

Jack finished moving himself into place and put the tip of his cock against Daniel, who groaned his approval, and shifted the angle to better accommodate. Jack took a deep breath, and slid the head in past the first resistance of muscles. Oh, God, it was tight. Frozen more by a sudden lack of air and blood than by a desire to be gentle, Jack panted, trying to acclimate to the rush of sensation. Daniel waited patiently for a second, maybe two, then drove himself onto Jack with all the force his position would allow.

Both men cried out. Jack put everything he had into forcing back the orgasm that threatened to overcome him. Daniel was panting, growling, grasping Jack's leg, and thrusting still in small, tight motions. Jack concentrated on breathing and hockey scores, and bit by bit regained control. When he opened his eyes Daniel was watching him, triumphant and hedonic and so, so achingly beautiful.

"Back with me, Jack?"

"More or less. Don't threaten to kill me."

Daniel laughed, rich and warm, a laugh full of lust and emotion. "Hadn't crossed my mind."

"Liar." Experimentally, he took a stroke, slow and steady, almost all the way out, then fully back in. Daniel's eyes flashed.

"Faster."

His eyes locked with Daniel's and he matched Daniel's hot smile. Out. In. Once again, faster. Heat spread from the soles of Jack's feet up his legs. Oh, this was...perfect. Another stroke. Another. A little more force, a little more speed. None of the awkwardness both had expected, just rhythm and skin and heat and need.

Daniel was alternating between screaming Jack's name, 'yes', and various deific appellations, though Jack was far too gone himself to be amused. Only dimly did Jack realize Daniel was stroking himself to their rhythm, and was about to fall over the edge. Knowing he'd never last past the constrictions when Daniel came, Jack stepped up the pace even more, giving himself over entirely to the lust. They pounded together again and again, building, screaming, both bodies taut and hard and utterly focused. Daniel came first, screaming his throat raw, and as he'd guessed, Jack didn't make it through to Daniel's finish before he came as well.

Sagging like a puppet with cut strings, it was all Jack could do to keep his weight off the prone man beneath him. With a supreme effort, he withdrew, and rolled off to lie beside Daniel, who seemed out again, or close to it. Jack closed his eyes and let himself drift as well, his body and heart heavy with deep satisfaction.

"You're going to make more God jokes, aren't you?" Daniel mumbled against Jack's chest.

"Nah. Done for now. Busy breathing. Get back to me on that." Daniel started to sit up, but was stopped by Jack's arms tightening. "Nope. Stay." Self-indulgently, Jack enjoyed every minute of the afterglow that weeks of being patient had bought him. Finally, he sighed a happy, contented sigh and opened his eyes. Daniel had felt him stir, and pulled back a little to look up at him.

Jack grabbed the towel and wiped the two of them off, then brushed fingers lightly over Daniel's face. Daniel tilted his head and closed his eyes. Then he smiled and looked at his lover.

"That was perfect."

"Nope. Close. I wanted to watch you come, but I got ... distracted. We'll have to try again."

"Damn." Daniel laughed. Jack wondered if he'd ever heard Daniel laugh as much as he had since the time loop started. He desperately hoped it was a permanent change. "That really was incredible, Jack." He pulled himself up and leaned on his elbow and shook his head in wonder. "I had no idea. None. Do you even have a gag reflex?"

Jack heard the words forming in his head and furiously tried to stop them from slipping out. Shut up! he screamed at himself, but he spoke anyway. "Nah. Had it beat out of me in Iraq."

It took Daniel's quick mind less than a second to digest the full meaning of the sentence, assign context and begin painting lurid, horrible pictures. Jack watched it happen in Daniel's transparent eyes and berated himself for his carelessness.

"Daniel, it's okay. It's over. Done. Don't... don't do this." He pulled Daniel back down into his arms, and although there was some resistance at first, Daniel let himself be pulled.

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's not your fault, Daniel."

"I ... I shouldn't have ...." Daniel pulled back away, dark emotions fighting for supremacy on his face.

"Daniel, listen to me. I said I wanted you. I meant it. All of it. You didn't talk me into anything here, I put a lot of thought into this. Do you trust me?"

"Yes." Yes, he always had.

Jack rolled up onto his side and reached out to draw Daniel in. Daniel came easier this time, letting himself be comforted, but feeling guilty for not being the one to be doing the comforting, rather than accepting it. Jack held him for awhile, and when he spoke his voice was soft, but a little strained.

"Daniel, you don't get it. I'm ... not sure I get it myself. I don't understand why or how, but ... that first mission. To Abydos. You know I went there to die. I spent ... god, years with psych doctors and months more after ... after Charlie, and I was done. Just ... done. And you ... you touched me. Touched ... something inside me. And you fixed it. And I came home and it all started to heal. Not just scar over. Heal. It still hurts like hell some days, but the longer I'm with you, the easier it is. Does that make any sense?"

Daniel nodded, not wanting to break the moment, but he had to speak. "I didn't know. I didn't know you felt that way. I thought ... ah, I've always felt ... indebted to you -- the way you took care of me after Shau'rai was taken." He tilted his head up to meet Jack's eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for telling me that. I know it wasn't easy." No, it hadn't been, that was clear. Daniel could feel the tension in Jack's arms and see it stretched around Jack's eyes. He pulled himself up and cupped Jack's jaw with his hand. "You can say more, if you want, but it's okay. You don't have to push. We have the rest of our lives, you said. It's okay."

Jack drew a shaky breath. It was easier for him to talk in the dark, easier for him to let go after sex. Sara had known and had tried to use it after Charlie's death, to get Jack to say something, anything that would let her back in. And Jack had felt her using the tactic, and felt both betrayed and even more defensive. Neither reaction was fair, perhaps, but eventually he avoided the problem by avoiding sex with her. It was probably the final blow to their marriage.

Laying here with Daniel, he'd said what he knew he needed to say, for his benefit, and for Daniel's, but his alarms had started sounding from the beginning and it had been all he could do to get the words out.

But Daniel ... Daniel always knew what to say. They could argue about everything under the sun, all the suns, argue with passion and genuine irritation, but when it came down to the important things, Daniel always knew what to say. Daniel knew him, far better than Sara had, much as she had loved him. How was that possible, in so short a time?

Jack felt the tension flowing back out of him as though someone had pulled a plug. Oh, yes, someone had. Daniel.

"I love you, Daniel. And you're not indebted to me. I owe you my life. My sanity. I wasn't attached to either at the time, but ... well, I'm pretty happy with them now."

Daniel smiled softly. "Let's call it even, then, 'kay?"

"M'kay. I love you, Danny. You know that, right?"

Daniel shook his head a little. "You keep saying it, but I'm not sure it's sunk in. Ask me again later."

"I love you, Daniel."

"I love you, too, Jack."

"Oh, I almost forgot. I made you a promise -- I promised I'd tell you something. Again."

"You look serious, Jack. How many more revelations can you make in one evening?" Humor, just the right amount at just the right time. Jack grinned and returned it.

"Not many, so be quiet." He let the grin fade and was surprised at how relaxed he was - it wasn't like pushing, wasn't like forcing the words out through gritted teeth. Good. Daniel needed to hear this, and needed to hear it said the right way. "I think you're brilliant, Daniel, and I respect the job you do. I appreciate having you on my team and in my life. Not just 'cuz you keep pulling my ass out of the fire. But because I like having you around. Because I love you."

Daniel struggled with that a while, wanting to brush it off, but knowing too well it was said in truth. In the end he settled for moving in and capturing Jack's mouth in a long, steamy kiss. When he pulled back, Daniel was looking contemplative. Too much so for Jack's tastes.

"Yeah? What?"

"I just happened to think ... you know, as long as we're being so honest...."

"Oh, dear Lord." Jack ran a hand over his face. "Okay, I'm braced. What?"

Daniel grinned, then the grin faded.

"I haven't missed the effort you went to on my behalf. I appreciate you waiting...to, ah, for tonight. I'm sure talking me into waiting was something of a task..." Jack snorted. "...and I want to make sure you know that I understand. That was... really, really sweet. I always forget how ... really thoughtful you can be when you want to, and I never expected ... never thought you'd ..." Daniel's head bowed. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Not a problem. But really, this was about my ego. 'What first time?' just isn't on my list of compliments."

"Smart-ass."

As a response, Jack reached out and pulled Daniel into another kiss. When it ended Daniel cuddled into Jack's arms with a happy sigh that ended in a yawn.

"We wear you out, Daniel?"

"Don't start sounding smug again, Jack. Tomorrow we're going to wear you out."

"Deal. And at some point we need to have all those important discussions about the base and the people we work with."

"Oh, God. Do we have to?"

"You're asking me that? Yes. We have to. We have a monthly physical scheduled for Monday."

"Wha... oh, Janet."

"Yep. But that's for tomorrow. Don't worry, Daniel, most of it's fine, and what isn't we can work around. We've talked this out before."

"We did? You did that much talking? For me? God, you do love me."

"That's the conclusion, yes. Yes, I do. Love you." He dropped a kiss into Daniel's hair. "As for the rest, well, we can deal with the consequences tomorrow. Okay?"

"'kay." It was a sleepy, happy voice, and it made Jack's heart lurch. He knew he'd made the right decision. Tomorrow would take care of itself.

 

***fin***