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Tim sighs tiredly and resists the urge to scream long and loud and hear it echo against the waterfalls’. It was a tiring night and Damian had only made it much more exhausting by defying every single rule he had set out. The rules weren’t meant to baby him - as he believed - but to protect him. Because despite all the training the kid had been put through, he wasn’t ready for this world.
Damian had been isolated, taught to fight men and cut them down. He had been taught to fight people who didn’t hold back and yet their intent wasn’t to kill. It was to train. No one wanted to face the wrath of Talia and Ra’s Al Ghul after all if they ever did hurt Damian enough to see the brink of death.
That world Damian was hidden away in wasn’t like this one in the slightest.
This world crumbles and fights. These people won’t hesitate to kill you, no mercy or stopping just before the inch of death. They hunt you down, torment you and wreck you and watch you break. Sure, there are petty thefts, criminals who piss their pants at the sight of them but they had to work for that, had to install that fear so they had a chance at fighting back. Believing yourself invincible and superior to them can and will get you killed if you’re not careful.
“You won’t be patrolling for a week,’’ Tim finally tells the boy, taking off his cowl and cape, unfastening the belts strapped to his chest in the process. The reaction isn’t at all that surprising in the least.
“You can’t do that!” Damian roars, his shout scaring the bats and clashing against the damp walls of the underground.
Tim sighs softly, placing his suit in the hanger and running a hand through his hair tiredly. “I can,” he states simply, walking past a fuming Damian and settling down at the main computer. He needed to send the report to Bruce. “Bruce told you that I’ll be in charge while he and Dick are investigating the sex trafficking ring in Washington DC, and I’m sorry Damian, but you are not patrolling.”
The huff is cut short by a growl and Tim pays no mind to the heavy stomps that halt abruptly behind his back. He simply opens another case file and begins his typing. It wasn’t the worst case they have had and there will be ones much horrible after, but the report still needed to be completed. It was simple enough; Clay Face had managed to escape again after years of being jailed and contained in a prison that kept him in his liquefied form. It was nearly nostalgic seeing the villain from his own Robin days. It would’ve been nicer if he wasn’t trying to murder them and attempting to hide inside some unsuspecting civilians.
“They’ll be back in a week!” Damian counters, words biting and angry. The familiar sound of a mask being ripped off as the glue sticks to the skin fills the cave briefly before its being thrown onto the floor. Its shortly followed by another stamp against the cold stone beneath their feet.
“Well that’s too bad,” Tim replies drily, resisting the urge to pinch his nose. How did Dick deal with him? He didn’t give enough credit to him sometimes and it was showing now. He had far more patience when it dealt with emotions than the others were capable of.
“I didn’t even do anything wrong!” Damian explodes and Tim does sigh this time. Damian doesn’t stop however, he keeps on going, frustrated and angry, blinded by his rage and confusion. “Why am I being punished? What? You don’t think I’m competent enough to do my job! I’m Robin now, I was chosen! Clearly you don’t want to deal with me so just say it!”
The chair scrapes against stone and Damian stumbles back. Tim hair whips into his eyes but he couldn’t care less, something unpleasant and heated boiling under his skin and on the tip of his tongue. “I have no such problems Damian,” Tim manages to say calmly, “but I won’t tolerate you disobeying the rules I set out for you, its for your own protection.”
Damian seems to raise on his hackles at that, going stiff straight and growling deep in his chest. “For my protection?! I don’t need any protection coming from you Drake, in any form! I’m perfectly capable of handling myself!”
Tim releases a breath, shaking his head and scratching at his scalp. “That’s wat they all say,” he mutters and shakes his head again tiredly. He looks Damian in the eye again. “And if you can’t handle it one time? What then? I know Clayface, better than anyone of else. He wouldn’t have hesitated to drown you Damian, from the inside out. That’s why we have plans, rules to follow and backup always at the ready. We trust each other and that’s how teams work, that is how this family works.”
Damian turns his head around and crosses his arms, a scowl that’s a little to soft and resigned to really be angry. Tim eyes him warily, the slight anger and annoyance sliding away into worry. He hadn’t gotten hurt so why was he like this?
“This family is all about trust and nothing else, am I really apart of it then?” it’s a mumble and I’m one hundred percent sure he wasn’t surpassed to hear it but he’s talking before he can shut his mouth and thing things over.
“What are you talking about?” Tim asks and he’s honestly and genuinely confused. Damian was apart of this family the day Bruce met him? Didn’t he understand that? “Of course you’re apart if this family, your Bruce’s son.”
Damian shakes at that, his whole body is trembling in fact. His hands grip at his bangs and he tugs, eyes closed tight and Tim has never felt so shocked and worried before because this wasn’t right.
“That’s exactly it!” Damian cries, stumbling back as Tim takes a tentative step forward. “This whole damn family is about trust and the only one who actually seems to trust me is Grayson! Not you, not Todd, not even my own father!” he spits it out like he can’t stop and Tim is frozen in place in pure shock. He can’t really believe that can he?”
“Damian,” Tim tries again, stepping closer to the child. Green eyes snap open wide and Damian shakes his head and stumbles back. Tim watches the child desperately, not believing the words escaping his mouth. How had no one realised this is how he feels? How had no one noticed hoe insecure this child was?
“I hate this! I hate this family!” Damian spits out and Tim flinches because Damian had never said that before. Sure, they fought and argued but those words have never been uttered and yet, now they were being screamed. “I’ve always thought you incompetent, but you have my fathers trust! You have this whole damn families trust and loyalty, but I just can’t seem to get it no matter what I do! All I have to this family is the blood in my veins and the Robin title that I stole! Its not fair and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!”
Tim is helpless as tears of frustration and pent up emotions spill down from red eyes and tracks down round cheeks. Damian closes his eyes again, chest heaving under his suit and rattling from his throat.
“Oh Damian,” Tim sighs, shaking his head. “You’re right, Bruce didn’t ask for you.” Damian’s whole body flinches and Tim smiles sadly, striding forward and capturing the boy into his chest. Damian struggles and fists smack against his stomach but he continues none the less. “but if you think he doesn’t love you with his whole being and want you, then you don’t know Bruce at all.”
Damian sags and Tim soothes the hair at the back of his neck comfortingly. “Everyone says this family is about trust and loyalty,” he mumbles, breath hitching between stuttered words.
Tim shakes his head slightly and pulls Damian’s head into the crooks of his neck. He instantly feels the warm tears sinking through his suit and scrubs his hand gently through Damian’s sculp. “it is,” he agrees softly as Damian trembles in his hold, “but its also about love. And Bruce may not show it but he loved you from the day he met you, maybe you didn’t have his trust just yet but you had his love and that’s what makes you apart of this family.”
“then why doesn’t he trust me!” Damian cries and the ears start up again. Tim sighs softly, hating seeing Damian like this. No child should ever doubt their families love, let alone their trust in them.
Carefully he manoeuvres them back to the chair, pulling Damian on his lap and letting the boy curl against him to bury his face into his shoulder. Tim rubs his side soothingly. “It takes a while to earn Bruce’s trust,” Tim admits quietly, “and he never tells you when you have it. But you do Damian, he trusts you to be Robin and to be his son. He just isn’t good at praises or compliments and that sometimes makes it seems like you are always doing something wrong and you can’t do anything right but trust me Dami, he loves you. Just like the rest of us. You understand that, right?”
Tim doesn’t get a verbal response, and he doesn’t really expect one as Damian rubs his nose into his shoulder and sniffles. He internally cringes at that but smiles as Damian nods against his shoulder blade and the sniffles die down. Good.
“Why does it hurt so much?” Damian mumbles quietly and Tim chuckles wryly at that. He tussles Damian’s hair gently, smiling as he receives a small jab in response and a tiny but genuine smile.
“I’m not sure,” Tim hums, “but you know its family when it hurts so much. You know its family when you care too much. It hurts but that’s okay, that is normal.”
Damian hums into his shoulder, scrubbing at his eyes and Tim smiles gently. It seems they weren’t moving for a while and that’s okay. His legs may have gone numb five minutes ago but that was fine, he doubts it would be the last time someone refuses to move off him. It definitely isn’t the first time