True Colors

by WandaRavenBlack

Summary:

Dean and Cas get Sam out of the Cage. Four months later, he is still not doing much better. He sees colors around people, speaks only enochian and has extreme trust issues. It's up to Dean and Cas to help him get better.

Chapter 1: Bar

Dean leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. On his bed, Sam looked up from the book he was reading. Seeing his worried eyes, Dean smiled at him. 

“It’s alright, Sammy.” 

His brother frowned, and Dean waited patiently. Sam’s english was still nonexistent. Even now, after four months, the only word he had managed was ‘Dean’. And even then, the name sounded wrong, since Sam was clearly more used to the enochian pronunciation of words. He could still understand english, which Dean was grateful for, and could even read it, even though it took him about half an hour to get through one page, but speaking was completely gone. After Dean had figured this out, he bought a dictionary and gave it to Sam, his brother using it to communicate with him. Dean had also picked up a few words in enochian. He couldn’t pronounce them to save his life, but he understood what they meant when Sam said them. He stayed in his chair as Sam reached out for the dictionary and flipped through it. His frown deepened for a few seconds, before he nodded and turned the book around, towards Dean. Making sure that his movements were slow and calm, Dean stood up and walked closer to the bed, stopping when he saw that Sam tensed up slightly. It wasn’t much, but it was there and Dean didn’t want to push his brother too much. He looked at the pages and frowned when he saw the word Sam was pointing at. ‘Bar’. 

“I don’t understand, Sammy. What about the bar?”

Sam seemed frustrated at not getting his point across, and started to flip through the book again. Almost an entire minute later, he turned the book towards Dean again. ‘Go’. 

“You.” 

Dean recognized the sound. You. He tried to put it together in his head. Bar, go, you. Realization hit him. 

“You want me to go to the bar?” 

Sam nodded. 

“Sammy, I don’t mind staying here with you.” 

For a moment, Sam seemed to hesitate. Then he flipped through the book again. Very slowly, Dean went a bit closer and, seeing that Sam didn’t tense up any further, sat down on the edge of the bed. Sam looked at him with big eyes, before turning back to the book. He seemed relieved when he found what he was looking for. ‘Tired’.

“You.” 

Dean frowned. 

“I’m not tired of staying with you, Sammy. Don’t worry about that.” 

Sam seemed slightly agitated when he started flipping through the dictionary again. ‘Pointless’. 

“What’s pointless?” 

‘Hovering’. ‘Sacrifice’. Dean took a deep breath.

“Alright. Let me see if I understand this. You want me to go to the bar, because you think that me hovering here is pointless. You don’t want me to sacrifice my time to stay here and do nothing. Did I get it right?” 

Sam nodded. For a few seconds, Dean thought about it. For the last four months, he had only left the motel room to go to the grocery store. And he had always made sure to be back in approximately fifteen minutes. Except for the first two times, Sam had been alright with being left alone. He had stayed on the bed, reading. But that had been only fifteen minutes. The bar was ten minutes away from the motel. That meant 20 minutes for the road alone. But Sam was right on one point. Hovering in the motel room wouldn’t change anything. After he had gotten Sam back, Dean had told both Cas and Bobby to not come visit. He knew it hurt them, especially Bobby, but he didn’t want to expose Sam to people so soon. Not after what happened that one time he had taken him on a short walk. He shook his head, not wanting to even think about that incident. It had been almost impossible to get Sam back to their room. But now there was no way Bobby or Cas would show up. Dean had even forbidden them from calling, since Sam seemed to be agitated by phones and televisions. Computers were fine, but phones and tvs were out of question. The two had accepted Dean’s ban on any contact, so that meant Sam wouldn’t get any unexpected visitors. And with all the wardings they had, if he locked the door, nobody would be able to come inside. And maybe Sam needed this. Some time alone. Dean was still unsure about what had happened in the Cage, but he knew that Sam wasn’t comfortable with him being too close. Maybe it would do him good to stay alone for some time. Making a quick decision, he nodded and stood up, Sam tensing up at his sudden movement. He gave him a calming smile, and then walked over to the table to close his computer and pick up his keys. 

“Alright. I’ll go. I will be back in an hour. Not longer. I’ll lock the door after me. All the wardings are in place, so nothing will be able to get in. You don’t leave this room, unless it’s on fire. I know you don’t like phones, but if you need me to come back earlier for any reason, use the stationary phone over there and call my number. I’ll come back immediately. If something manages to get through the wardings, and I’m not sure how that would happen, you pray to Cas. He’ll come help you. Do you understand all that?” 

Sam nodded, looking slightly relaxed. 

“Alright. I’ll see you later, Sammy.” 

And he left, before he could come up with any excuse to stay. Sam needed this. Needed to be left alone sometimes. He locked the door and walked to the Impala. As he drove, he thought about Sam. He had been so happy when Cas had showed up with him. Dean, Cas and Bobby had been trying everything to get him out, but nothing had worked. They were ready to give up the more traditional ways, when Cas said that he wanted to try something. He had zapped Dean to a motel room and told him to wait. Two hours later, he had come back with an unconscious Sam. When Dean asked him how he had managed that, the angel had shrugged and said that he had simply broken into the Cage, grabbed Sam and flew away. But he had used so much of his powers to get away that he was almost completely drained. Dean had told him to go back to Bobby’s to recover, and then started taking care of his little brother. Sam had no visible wounds, most probably thanks to Cas, but he still looked beaten. Dean remembered the complete panic in Sam’s eyes when he finally woke up. He had scrambled to the other side of the room, muttering in what Dean had recognized as enochian. Every time he tried to approach him, Sam would panic even more, so Dean did the only thing he could come up with. He sat down on the floor and started talking. He told Sam about everything. Their old schools, hunts, weekends at Bobby’s, Ellen and Jo, their dad, their mom. After five hours, his voice was tired, but he kept talking, because Sam had finally stopped shaking. He exhausted every topic he could think of that was connected to their past, and started talking about the Impala. He talked about her mechanics, about every little repair he had ever done on her. After eight hours, he was hoarse and had to stop talking. He sat there in silence, just looking at Sam. And then, at the nine hour mark, his brother had finally moved. He had crawled out of the corner, his movement slow and cautious, almost as if he was expecting to get punished for moving without permission. Dean sat perfectly still as Sam crawled over to him and stretched his hand out. But, instead of touching him, Sam seemed to stroke his hand over something that was just inches away from Dean’s body. And all the time he kept muttering the same words, over and over again. This had confused him at the time. Now he understood it. After he came back from the Cage, Sam could see colours around people. It had taken them several hours with the dictionary, but Dean had gotten a pretty good outline of what had happened. Sam had been exposed to the true form of an archangel and the devil for so long, that his eyes had started seeing things differently. He could see colours around people. And every person had a different shade. Lucifer had been ‘sun orange-red’. Michael had been ‘blinding snow white’. Dean was ‘grass green’. The colours could not be replicated or changed. That was what had finally convinced Sam that Dean was real. The colour around him. He pulled into the parking lot in front of the bar and got out of the car. The bar was oddly calm and quiet. He walked up to the counter and gave the young woman behind it a smile. 

“A beer.”

She gave it to him and seemed to study him for a few seconds. She was pretty. Dean gave her another smile, making sure to not seem too inviting. There was no way he was going to try taking her back to the motel. Not with Sam in the state he was in. The woman frowned slightly. 

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping any boundaries, but you look troubled. Is everything alright?” 

Dean tilted his head. 

“Excuse me?” 

The woman seemed slightly embarrassed for a few seconds, before shrugging. 

“You have that look on your face. Like you’ve hit the wall and don’t know how to go forward anymore. Like you don’t know what to do.” 

Dean considered her for a few seconds. She seemed to be genuinely curious and wanting to help. He wondered what colour she would have around her. Maybe, once Sam was good enough, he could bring him here and ask him. 

“Something like that.” 

“Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I could help.” 

Dean hesitated, before nodding. Maybe this was what he needed. Someone from the outside, taking a look at their situation. 

“It’s about my brother. He was in a very bad place, and when he came back, he wasn’t himself. He still isn’t, and I don’t know how to help him.” 

The woman nodded with understanding filling her eyes. 

“I understand your situation. My sister, she… She was in the military. Did a few tours to Afghanistan and Iraq. When she finally came back, she was changed. It was like I couldn’t reach her. She refused to talk, barely ate. I didn’t know what to do. So I prayed. And she came back to me. She was still messed up, but she was getting better.” 

Dean frowned at her. 

“You’re saying I should pray?” 

She smiled. 

“Yes. Maybe an angel is what you need right now.” 

He was going to answer, when her words finally registered in his brain. An angel. He hadn’t wanted to get Cas involved, in case Sam reacted badly to someone other than Dean coming close to him. But Cas was an angel. An angel who spoke enochian. He cursed under his breath, pulled out some money and put it on the counter. 

“Keep the change. And thank you.” 

And he rushed out of the bar. As soon as he was in the car again, he closed his eyes. 

“Cas. I know you’re helping Bobby out with his cases, but I could use your help right now. I’m outside a bar called Blue Heaven.” 

He opened his eyes and looked around. Cas wasn’t there. He sighed. Him and Bobby must be in the middle of a case. He pulled out of the parking lot and started heading towards the motel, when a voice from the backseat almost made him swerve into the ditch. 

“Hello Dean.”

Chapter 2: Warm

With a curse, Dean managed to keep the Impala on the road. He glared backwards to where Cas was sitting. Through the time they had been looking for a way to get Sam out of the Cage, Cas had taken to sitting in the backseat, even though the front seat was always empty. When Dean had asked him about that, the angel had said that it was Sam’s place and that it wouldn’t feel right to sit there. Both Dean and Bobby had been slightly shocked at the answer. Especially since Cas and Sam never seemed close. Seeing that, Cas had simply shrugged and said that his opinions weren’t the same as before. Both hunters had accepted that answer without any further comments. 

“Damn it, Cas! Don’t do that!” 

The angel frowned slightly. 

“You asked me to come.” 

“Yeah. But not scare the crap out of me.” 

Cas nodded. 

“My apologies. Is everything alright? How is Sam?” 

Dean smiled slightly when he heard real concern in his voice. 

“He’s getting slightly better. We’re making progress, but it’s very slow.” 

He pulled over to the side of the road, stopped and turned to Cas. 

“You and Bobby are alright? Sam hasn’t been good with phones, that’s why I didn’t call.” 

Cas nodded again. 

“I understand. Bobby has kept us busy with cases. He said I’m a good researcher. But why did you call? Is something wrong?” 

Dean sighed, making the angel look at him with slight worry. They sat in silence for a few seconds, until Dean started talking again. 

“I have to ask you about something. Can angels see auras?” 

Cas frowned. 

“That’s not exactly how that works. Things like auras aren’t real. What we can see is a colour that the soul emits. It’s individual to everyone and cannot be replicated by shapeshifters or anything else that can change its form. And we don’t see it all the time. We can turn it on and off at will, just like we can choose to make our wings visible.” 

“What colour do you have?” 

The angel shrugged. 

“None of us can see our own colours. Only the colours of others. I haven’t looked at many colours. It’s never been important. I saw your soul when I pulled you out of Hell, but I haven’t looked at others. Your soul is the colour of freshly grown grass on a sunny morning, with small shining droplets of rain.” 

Dean stared at him for a moment, before shaking his head. 

“Yeah, that would have taken him a few hours to explain.” 

Cas tilted his head, so he explained. 

“Sam. He managed to explain that seeing their true forms down in the Cage, made him see everyone’s colours. He called me grass green. But with the way we have been communicating, explaining what you just said would have taken hours.” 

Once again, Cas frowned. 

“That does make sense, actually. I didn’t expect it, but it’s not unlikely. But what do you mean by the way you have been communicating?” 

“Sam speaks only enochian. He understands english, but can’t speak it.” 

The angel’s eyes widened in horror. Seeing that Dean gave him a hard stare. 

“What?” 

Cas hesitated slightly, seemingly not knowing how to say what he was thinking. But, seeing Dean’s glare, he spoke with almost forced calmness. 

“A human’s vocal cords are not meant to produce the sounds that enochian requires. If Sam really speaks enochian, I would guess that it didn’t happen quickly. And it would most probably not be painless.” 

Dean paled. Sam didn’t seem to mind talking in enochian. It didn’t seem to bring him pain. English on the other hand had seemed to be impossible for him to pronounce. 

“Why did you call me, Dean? What’s going on?” 

The hunter was pulled out of his thoughts by Cas’ hand on his shoulder. 

“Dean?” 

“I want you to come back to the motel with me and meet Sam. The only thing I’m worried about is what colour you are. I took Sam outside the motel only once and he freaked out when he saw someone who was orange.” 

Cas was visibly surprised, before he nodded. 

“I will be careful and will get out of there if Sam starts to get uncomfortable.” 

With a nod, Dean pulled out on the road again and drove to the motel. He parked outside and hesitated. 

“Um. Let me go in first.” 

“Of course.” 

Cas followed him to the door, where he stopped and waited while Dean unlocked it. Before opening it, Dean leaned a bit closer to the door and said in a calm voice. 

“It’s me, Sammy.” 

Then he opened it and stepped inside. Sam was still on the bed, a book in his lap. He was looking at Dean with wide eyes, seemingly calming down slightly when he saw that it was really his brother. Dean didn’t close the door behind him as he took a step to the side. 

“I have someone here who wants to see you, Sammy.” 

Very slowly, Cas stepped inside the room, smiling gently. Sam’s eyes widened again when he saw the angel. 

“Hello, Sam.” 

Dean noticed how Sam’s eyes quickly scanned the area around Cas, before moving out to his sides. Cas frowned slightly at that, before a look of shock crossed his face.

“Sam. Can you see my wings?” 

Sam’s eyes snapped back to him when he heard the sound of enochian. 

“Yes. I can see them. I didn’t know they were beige.” 

Cas smiled at him. 

“It is a slightly unusual colour. But what about the other colour? Dean told me that you can see it.” 

“Blue. Crackling blue lightning. Electric. You don’t look like either of them. They…” 

He stopped himself, a look of dread appearing on his face. Dean reacted immediately. He moved closer to the bed Sam was sitting on. 

“Sammy? What’s wrong?” 

Then he turned to Cas. 

“What did he say?” 

“It seems that Sam sees not only the colour of our souls. He can see my wings as well. He told me that my colour is blue lightning. And that I don’t look like either of them.” 

Dean sighed, realizing immediately what was wrong. As slowly as he could, he walked over to Sam’s bed and sat down on the edge. 

“Sammy. It’s alright. Neither of them will ever hurt you again. Neither of them will get you anymore. You’re here, with me and Cas. You’re safe. We won’t let them hurt you ever again. Do you understand that?” 

“Yes.” 

Dean understood the sound. 

“Do you believe me?” 

This time, Sam hesitated for a few seconds. He glanced between the two of them, before nodding. 

“Yes.” 

“Good. Now. We are running low on food, so I’m going to the store. Is that alright with you?” 

Sam glanced over to Cas.

“Cas will stay here with you if that’s fine with you.” 

Again, Sam hesitated. His eyes swept around Cas, and then he nodded with determination. Dean smiled. 

“Great. I’ll be back in 15 minutes. No more. Cas, if anything happens, you call me. Understood?” 

The angel nodded. 

“I understand.” 

Dean gave Sam another smile, before standing up and walking out of the motel room. He locked the door behind him and got into the Impala. He was worried about leaving Sam with Cas, but kept telling himself that it was the right thing to do. Cas understood enochian and could therefore get Sam to open up a bit. And his brother hadn’t seemed too scared of the angel. As he drove to the store, he hoped everything would be alright. He did not want to lose any of the progress he had made with Sam over the time they had been in the motel. All he hoped for was that Cas really took it easy. Sam was still in a bad place. 

 

*****

 

Back at the motel, Cas was standing awkwardly next to the door. Sam glanced at his wings again and he could see that the human seemed calmed by the sight of them. He pointed towards Sam’s bed. 

“May I sit down?” 

Sam hesitated for a few seconds, before nodding. 

“Yes.” 

Something in his voice made Cas stay where he was. 

“Are you sure you’re alright with that?” 

Once again, Sam hesitated. Cas tilted his head. 

“Sam? What’s wrong? You can tell me if you don’t want me to sit close to you.” 

Sam shook all over. 

“I can’t. I’m not allowed… I can’t. Please. He will punish me if I say it. I’m not allowed to say it.” 

Understanding appeared in Cas’ eyes.

“He didn’t allow you to say ‘no’?” 

Sam nodded. 

“Alright.” 

He walked over to Sam’s bed and sat down on the edge as far away from him as possible. He didn’t want to sit down on Dean’s bed and accidentally stab himself on a knife again. For a moment he thought about continuing the topic of the word ‘no’, but realized quickly that Sam wouldn’t change his mind about that. 

“Sam. Human vocal cords are not made to be able to speak enochian. Not as clearly and beautifully as you can. How is this possible?” 

This time, Sam’s answer came immediately.

“He didn’t want me to speak in english. Every time I did, he would rip my vocal cords out and feed them to me. So I started picking up on words that they said when they talked. At first I couldn’t do it. But then I figured out that I could train myself to do it if I waited until he destroyed and restored my vocal cords again. So I did it. Just like when children learn to speak. I was rewarded every time I got something right by a day free of torture. One wrong word, and he would rip my vocal cords out again. I don’t know how long it took, but I learned. When I tried to speak english after that, I just couldn’t. It’s like I can’t form the words anymore.” 

Cas nodded. He had been expecting something like that. As he had said before, humans weren’t supposed to speak enochian. 

“You were allowed to speak?” 

Sam shrugged. 

“Most times. He wanted to hear me. But there were those really bad days, when he wanted me to stay quiet. So I did. Whatever he did. I had to stay quiet. Just let him do what he wanted. Just…” 

Noticing that he was getting panicked, Cas quickly interrupted him. 

“What happened to your hair?” 

The question made Sam stop in mid word and frown. He lifted his hand to his hair and then let it fall before it touched it. 

“I don’t want to touch it. He used to hold it, rip it out. He loved it.” 

Cas looked at Sam’s hair. It had grown down to his shoulders and was visibly dirty and tangled. 

“Would you be alright with me touching it? I will not hurt you, Sam.” 

Sam tilted his head slightly, visibly thinking about it. Cas was sitting perfectly still. He wouldn’t push. This had to be on Sam’s terms. After almost two minutes, the young man nodded. 

“We can try.” 

Slowly, he slid down from the bed to kneel next to the bed but, as soon as his knees hit the floor, he froze. Panic appeared in his eyes and he looked up at Cas with tears in his eyes. Immediately, the angel sunk down onto the floor as well, making sure that he was on Sam’s level again. 

“Sam. I will not hurt you.” 

He waited until Sam calmed down a bit, before standing up, grabbing the comforter and pillows from Dean’t bed and making a nest on the floor. He pointed at it with a small smile. 

“You can sit there. It will be more comfortable.” 

He waited until Sam was comfortable with his back against the bed, before sitting down behind him. He noticed that Sam tensed up, but didn’t comment on it. 

“Sam. I might have to use my grace to untangle some of the knots. Is that alright?” 

He regretted the question as soon as it came out of his mouth. Sam wouldn’t say ‘no’. Even if he wanted to. Sam turned his head slightly to look up at him. His eyes swept over his wings, and he managed to relax slightly again. He looked forward and Cas gently reached out to touch his hair. In the last second, he spread his grace along his hand. As soon as his hand met Sam’s hair, the man let out a sigh and melted into his touch. 

“Warm. Your grace. It’s warm. He was always so cold. Freezing cold.” 

Cas let his fingers card through the long hair, his grace undoing the knots that had formed. 

“Would you feel comfortable with me cutting your hair as well? I will only use my grace.” 

Sam nodded, relaxing even further against the bed and Cas’ legs. Cas saw it for what it was. A show of trust. 

“Thank you, Sammy.” 

A small smile appeared on his face when Sam didn’t correct him or protest against the nickname.

Chapter 3: Green and Blue

Dean grabbed the two bags with groceries from the back seat and walked over to the door to their motel room. He had to fiddle around a bit, but managed to get it unlocked and step inside, closing it behind him with his foot. But he almost dropped the bags when he saw Sam and Cas. Sam was sitting on a small nest of duvet and pillows, his back resting against the bed. His eyes had opened when he heard Dean come inside, but he looked completely relaxed. Cas was on the bed, his fingers carding through Sam’s hair. Sam’s short hair. Dean was taken aback by it. Sam’s hair, which had been long and tangled just 20 minutes ago, now looked almost identical to how it had been shortly after Sam had left Stamford, bangs and all. Another thing that shocked him was that Cas was touching Sam. Ever since he came back, Sam was against any human touch at all. Especially when it came to his hair. Hearing him come inside, Cas looked up. 

“Hallo, Dean.” 

Collecting himself, Dean carried the shopping bags into the kitchen and put the food into the fridge. Then he grabbed a beer for himself and avocado smoothie for Sam. Very slowly, he sat down on his own bed and stretched the smoothie over to Sam. His brother hesitated, before grabbing it and clearly relaxing when he noticed the color. Dean smiled slightly when Sam started drinking. Food and drinks had been a difficult thing to figure out in the beginning. Drinks couldn’t be white, yellow or red. Foods couldn’t be red, pink, yellow or brown. After figuring it out, Dean had felt sick. He could guess what it all meant. What Sam could have been forced to eat and drink in the cage. Orange was a risky color too. Green and blue were the only safe options. Which meant that no meat could be introduced into Sam’s diet. During the time since Sam was brought back, Dean had become an expert on vegetarian diets and how to make sure Sam got all the nutrients he needed on a blue and green diet. From time to time, he resorted to food coloring. Green, cooked chicken was extremely popular, although Dean had managed to get Sam to eat normal chicken as well. He just had to make sure that the meat was white when it was done. White food seemed to be alright on certain days. He tilted his head. 

“Nice hairstyle, Sammy.” 

Sam smiled slightly. 

“Thank you.” 

He leaned further back, resting against Cas’ legs. The angel nodded. 

“We decided that the long hair wasn’t fitting.” 

Then he frowned. 

“Bobby has been worried about you two.” 

Dean nodded. 

“I know. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to travel right now.” 

Sam tilted his head. 

“Is it because of me?” 

Dean looked at him with a questioning gaze. Seeing that, Cas quickly translated. 

“Sam is wondering if you don’t want to travel because of him. 

With a heavy sigh, Dean slid down from the bed and sat down on the floor. 

“Sammy, you remember what happened the last time you left this room. I’m just trying to make sure you’re safe and comfortable. And if it means I have to live here, then so be it.” 

Sam frowned, clearly thinking about something very hard. Then he stretched his hand out towards where the dictionary was on the bed. Seeing that, Cas grabbed it and passed it over to him. Sam started to flip through the book, stopping at the right word. ‘Missing.’ Dean frowned. 

“Missing? What am I missing?” 

Sam looked frustrated. He pointed at himself and then the word again. Dean hesitated, before understanding appeared in his eyes. 

“You miss Bobby?” 

Sam nodded. Dean looked up at Cas, and the angel nodded slowly. 

“It’s dark outside, so we should be able to get out of here without running into anyone.” 

“Alright then. Cas, there is a cooler in the Impala. Go get it and grab some food from the fridge. Sammy, get your books and put them on the table. I’ll pack out clothes and weapons.” 

With a nod, Sam stood up and started collecting his books, while Cas went outside to get the cooler. He came back inside a few seconds later and frowned slightly when he noticed how many of the foods and drinks were blue and green. Seeing that, Dean walked over to him. 

“Pack as much green and blue as possible. I doubt Bobby will have those colors in the fridge.” 

Cas’ frown deepened. 

“I’ll explain later. Just do it and stay close to Sam. I’ll start carrying the things out to the car.” 

Without a word, Cas nodded and started putting food into the cooler, while Dean started carrying the bags and books out to the car. They were done ten minutes later, and Dean turned to Sam. 

“You ready, Sammy?” 

Very slowly, Sam nodded and moved a bit closer to Cas. The angel put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. 

“Don’t worry, Sam. Everything will be alright.” 

He nodded again and they followed Dean out of the room. Dean opened the door to the passenger seat and Sam quickly got in. Cas got into the back seat, while Dean sat down behind the wheel. As soon as all doors were closed, Sam’s body relaxed and he leaned against the window. With a glance at him, Dean pulled out of the parking lot and drove out onto the road. They were around six hours from Bobby’s. Looking down at the dash, he almost cursed. They would have to stop somewhere to refill fuel. Which meant having Sam in the same place as other people. Unless he managed to find a gas station while it was still dark. They drove in almost silence, Cas sometimes humming some tune. From time to time, Sam would tilt his head and hum along, before seemingly catching himself and getting quiet again, just looking out the window. Three hours later, Dean pulled into a gas station. 

“I need to refill her. Sammy, you need to use the bathroom?” 

Sam hesitated, clearly thinking it through. Then he nodded. Dean pointed towards the portable bathrooms. 

“Alright. There is a bathroom over there. Will you be alright going alone? There are no people here and I’ll be able to see the door all the time.” 

Once again, Sam thought it through. This time, he took even longer. Then he nodded again, and walked off. Dean waited until he was inside the bathroom and had closed the door, before starting to fill up the fuel. Once it was done, he looked at the bathroom door. It was still closed. 

“Cas. I need to go pay for the gas. Can you keep an eye on Sam?” 

Cas nodded and stepped out of the car. 

“Of course.” 

He leaned against the side of the car, his eyes turned to the starry sky above them. Giving the bathroom a last glance, Dean hurried inside. When he came out again, a few minutes later, he was holding a salad and blueberry juice for Sam. But, as soon as he came outside, he noticed that something was wrong. Sam had just gotten out of the bathroom and was watching a girl, his eyes wide open. The girl, who couldn’t be more than 16 years old, was standing in front of him, her head tilted to the side. Next to the car, Cas seemed frozen. Moving quickly, Dean started walking towards Sam, only to stop when Cas suddenly appeared next to him and put his hand on his shoulder. 

“Dean. Stop. She speaks enochian.” 

He tilted his head and listened, while Sam spoke up. 

“He says that she is a golden fire. Like fire, but made of liquid gold.” 

“What is she?” 

Cas shrugged. 

“I have no idea. She is extremely powerful, I can feel it. But I have no idea who or what she is.” 

They watched as the girl moved closer to Sam and gently put her hand on his elbow. With gentle movements, she steered him back to the car and smiled at Dean and Cas. 

“Hallo. My name is Elle.” 

She turned to Sam, her smile never faltering. 

“Do not worry, Sam. Everything will be alright.” 

Then she turned to Dean again. 

“I hope you can make things better, Dean. If you ever need help, with anything, just call out my name. I will hear you.” 

Dean frowned. 

“What the hell are you?” 

Her smile turned sad. 

“I’m something that should not exist.” 

Then she turned around, took three steps and disappeared. Dean looked at the spot she had been in for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath. 

“What the hell was that?” 

Sam tilted his head. 

“She is a friend. I like her.” 

Cas smiled. 

“Sam likes her.” 

“Well, I don’t like not knowing what we’re dealing with.” 

He passed the salad and juice over to Sam and then pointed at the car. 

“Let’s get going.” 

As soon as Sam got inside and closed the door, Dean grabbed Cas’ arm. 

“Will you know if she follows us?” 

Cas nodded. 

“I think so. She is incredibly powerful.” 

“Good. Keep an eye out for her. I don’t like how easily she got through to Sam.” 

Then he got in the car, waited until Cas was in the back seat and drove off, glancing in the rearview mirror from time to time. He made sure to drive fast. The sooner they got to Bobby’s house, the better. Not many things could get through all of Bobby’s wards.

Chapter 4: Rusty Orange

The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Sam, most probably noticing the tenseness in Dean, stayed very still in his seat, keeping his eyes mostly on his hands. They pulled up outside Bobby’s house and Dean felt some of the tension float away. Bobby’s was safe. Whoever that girl had been, he doubted even she could get through all of Bobby’s wards. He turned off the car and turned to Sam. 

“You ready for this, Sammy?” 

Sam looked extremely nervous, but still nodded. Not wanting to push him too much, Dean just smiled at him and stepped out of the car. On the other side, Cas had already gotten out and was opening Sam’s door. After a few seconds of hesitation, he stepped out, looking around with wide eyes. Cas smiled and put his hand on Sam’s elbow, making sure to spread his grace along it. He had noticed before that it kept him calm. 

“Let’s go. Bobby has missed you.” 

Sam gave him a nervous smile and let himself be led towards the house, when the door suddenly opened and Bobby stepped out onto the porch. His eyes were wide with shock. 

“Sam?” 

Before anyone could answer, Sam suddenly screamed and wrenched himself away from Cas with so much strength that he stumbled backwards and fell onto the ground. Both Dean and Cas started towards him, only to stop when he began crawling backwards, his eyes glued to Bobby. Then, all of the sudden, he muttered something in enochian, flew up to his feet and ran into the night. Dean was going to run after him, but was stopped by Cas’ hand on his shoulder. 

“Rusty orange. Must’ve been close enough to HIS color. I’ll go after him. I can see in the dark and move faster than you.” 

Dean hesitated only for a split second, before nodding. With a tight smile, Cas took off in the same direction that Sam had disappeared into. With a heavy sigh, Dean walked up to Booby. The old man was looking at him with shock and concern. 

“What’s wrong? What are you doing here? I thought you were going to stay where Sam feels comfortable.” 

Dean nodded. 

“Yeah, well. There’s been a change in plans. After Cas showed up, Sam seemed more relaxed, and even said that he misses you.” 

He huffed out a frustrated breath.  

“Damn it! Of all the colors.” 

Bobby’s frown deepened. 

“What?” 

“Sam. He’s been exposed to their true forms down in the cage. It makes him see colours around people. Something to do with their souls. I’ll let Cas explain it all to you. He can also see Cas’ wings. The color he sees around you seems to be similar to L’s.” 

Bobby looked like he wanted to ask about it, but then stopped himself and nodded, accepting that he would have to wait for Cas to come back and explain everything. 

“L? You mean Lu…” 

“Don’t!” 

The old man almost jumped at Dean’s sharp voice. Dean took a calming breath. 

“Sorry. It’s just that Sam reacts extremely violently when he hears his name. The same with M’s. I’ve taught myself to not say them. I don’t know if he wasn’t allowed to call them by their names, or if using their names was too personal, but he doesn’t do it. And don’t talk badly about them. Especially L. It makes Sam scared. Don’t use phones around him, and don’t turn on the TV. Don’t give him food that isn’t blue or green.” 

Bobby shook his head. 

“What happened to him down there?” 

Dean turned away from him, looking out into the night. 

“I don’t think we want to know.” 

Right then, they heard footsteps approaching. Dean quickly hurried down the stairs when he recognized Sam’s silhouette. He reached them in seconds, and stopped in shock when he noticed Sam’s appearance. He was extremely pale, his eyes bloodshot like he had been crying. He was shivering all over and Dean glared at Cas. 

“What the hell happened?” 

“He ran into the pond. I’ve dried him off, but I think the cold water triggered some kind of flashback. I haven’t been able to get him to respond, either to english or enochian.” 

Dean wanted to reach out and grab his brother, but knew that touching him now wouldn’t be wise. On the porch Bobby spoke quietly, almost like he didn’t want to draw Sam’s attention to himself. 

“I’ll put the heater on in the living room and get some blankets.” 

Dean nodded and looked to where Cas was holding onto Sam’s elbow. 

“Can you get him inside?” 

The angel frowned slightly. 

“I’ll try.” 

He leaned a bit closer to Sam and shifted his shoulders. Dean almost frowned at that, but then realized that Cas was most probably shifting his wings around, making sure Sam paid attention to him. It didn’t snap the man out of his shaken state, but he let himself be led towards the house, so Dean didn’t say anything. Cas led him inside and to the living room, where he gently pushed him down onto the couch and pulled two thick blankets around him. Dean moved the heater so that it was blowing directly at Sam, but his brother just continued shaking.

“Cas, can’t you do something?” 

The angel shook his head, a sad look appearing on his face. 

“I’ve already tried. But however much grace I put behind it, I can’t get him to snap out of the flashback. And I don’t dare put him to sleep, in case he has nightmares and it makes it worse.” 

Dean paced around in frustration, before turning to him again. 

“What about the girl? Elle?” 

Cas frowned. 

“You think calling her here and asking her for help is wise?” 

Dean huffed out an irritated breath. 

“I think that she could have easily killed us all back there, but she didn’t. You said it yourself, Sam likes her. And he barely trusts me anymore. If he feels alright around her, after everything he went through, I’m willing to try it.” 

After a few seconds, Cas nodded. 

“I’ll stay with Sam.” 

Dean gave him a grateful smile and the angel walked over to the couch again. He sat down next to Sam and started to speak calmly in enochian. Not seeing any responses from his brother, Dean pulled out his gun and marched outside, right past a stunned Bobby. There was no time to explain. 

“Elle! We need your help!” 

“You don’t have to shout.” 

He whipped around to where the voice was coming from. Elle was sitting on one of the old cars, her long black hair looking slightly ruffled, almost like she had been lying down before she got there. Her eyes, which Dean had thought were brown in the dark gas station, now looked more amber with the lights around Bobby’s house shining on her. She was tan, her dark skin making her eyes stand out even more. Dressed in black jeans and a green jacket, she vaguely reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t quite think of who. 

“What’s the problem. Oh, and by the way, that gun you think I don’t see, will only put holes in my clothes. So please don’t.” 

He twitched slightly, taking the gun out from where he had been holding it behind his back. 

“What are you?” 

Her smile fell slightly. 

“I told you already.” 

“Something that shouldn’t exist. Yeah. I heard that. But what exactly? Which side are you on?” 

She tilted her head and, half a second later, she was standing on the ground, leaning against the car. 

“I don’t stand on any side.” 

“Then why offer your help to us?” 

At that, she seemed to hesitate, clearly not knowing how much she wanted to say. When she started speaking again, her voice was careful. 

“My father wasn’t a very nice person. He… He had a chance to help you during the Apocalypse, but he didn’t. He had a chance to get me and my brother involved in the fight, but chose to put my brother under a sleeping curse. He knew I wouldn’t leave my brother’s side, and that it would keep me away from the fight. The curse disappeared when my father died. My brother woke up and managed to convince me to not get involved. I listened to him. We stayed in hiding, waiting for you to win so that we could go on with our lives. But when I found out what happened to Sam, I couldn’t just do nothing anymore. I tried to get to the cage but couldn’t figure out a way to get inside and leave with just Sam. I’m ashamed to say that I gave up way too quickly. I went back to my brother, but tried to keep an eye on you.” 

Then she smiled. 

“Haven’t you wondered why there were never any cases of supernatural origin around the motel you and Sam were staying in?” 

Dean frowned. 

“Wait, so you mean…” 

“Yes. I’ve been making sure they didn’t get close to you two.” 

Very slowly, the hunter put his gun away. If she had really been watching them for so long, and hadn’t killed them yet, then he didn’t see any reason to be overly hostile towards her. Especially if he wanted her to help them. 

“But why?” 

Elle looked away for a few seconds, a flash of pain going across her face. When she looked back at him, her expression was once again calm. 

“My father changed. At the end. He died for your cause. Trying to stop what was happening. He gave his life to try to stop the Apocalypse, and me and my brother decided to crawl into a corner and do nothing, while the world suffered. The day I heard about what you and Sam did to save the world, I swore to never stand aside when I could help.” 

Dean considered her words. Her father had been on their side. He had died on their side. Had they known him? Was he a human? 

“That doesn’t explain what you are. What? A demon? Angel? Some crazy hybrid?” 

She was in front of him in a second. 

“Don’t you ever presume to know what I am. Understood?” 

Her amber eyes were glaring at him, and Dean got a sudden flashback to when Gabriel had said those same words to him. But he didn’t get to think about it for too long, because she had stepped away quickly, her head shaking. 

“I’m sorry. What I am is not something easy to understand. Now. You called for help. What do you need?” 

Dean snapped out of it, suddenly reminded of why he had called her in the first place. 

“It’s Sam. He’s in the middle of a flashback and seems to be freezing. Cas tried to warm him up, but didn’t manage. He said that you are powerful, so I thought maybe you could do it.” 

She frowned. 

“Warming him up. I’m not sure. My heat isn’t as strong as my brothers. He’s the one taking after our mother. I was always more like our father. But I will do my best.” 

And with that, she went inside the house, not even slightly bothered by the salt line, the iron handle or the devil’s trap. Dean’s eyes followed her, from her tan skin, to her dark hair and proud posture. He remembered her amber eyes, eyes that he was sure he had seen before. She had talked about her brother taking after their mother and her taking after their father. Which meant that both their parents were powerful. And then another memory hit him. A memory of something someone once said to him. ‘We… uh… had a thing.’ His eyes widened when he realized the truth and he hurried inside. This had to be impossible.

Chapter 5: Memory

Notes:

Hi everyone!
I'm back! I'm sorry for just disappearing like that. There's been a lot happening in my life and, to be honest, I couldn't bring myself to post what I've been writing. But now I'm on my feet again and I've decided to come back here. This story is finished on my computer and will be updated on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays until it's all posted.
Thank you for your patience and I hope you'll enjoy!
Wanda

When Dean walked into the living room, Elle was already crouched down in front of the couch, her hands resting on Sam’s knees. She was speaking calmly in enochian, before turning her head towards Dean. 

“He’s trapped in a memory. I can go in and fix it if that’s alright with you.” 

“Can I go with you?” 

The girl frowned. 

“I don’t think what I’m about to see will be pretty.”

With a determined expression, Dean walked slightly closer to her. Knowing what she most probably was, he felt both relieved and slightly concerned. 

“Elle. I’ve been taking care of Sam pretty much since he was born. And I’ve always known what to do. Now, I have no idea how to help him. Let me do this.” 

The girl smiled slightly. 

“Alright. Castiel. I’m guessing you’re coming as well.” 

The angel nodded seriously. Elle took a deep breath and pointed towards the other couch. 

“Sit down. I trust you can keep an eye on everything while we’re gone, Mr Singer.” 

Bobby nodded and grabbed a shotgun, leaning against the wall next to the door. Elle gave him a smile and glanced to where Cas and Dean were sitting on the couch. 

“Wherever we end up, whatever happens, both of you have to remember that you can’t touch anything. It’s important that you remember that. You are not allowed to touch ANYTHING.” 

She waited until they both nodded, before turning back to Sam. He was still shaking, his eyes clearly unable to focus on anything. Gently, Elle put her hand on his cheek and his eyes closed. As he started falling to the side, Elle guided him down into a lying position. Then she moved her hand slightly so her fingers were against his temple. Seconds later, Dean felt a pull in his chest and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was standing in the middle of a hallway. It seemed to stretch for miles, since he couldn’t see the end of it. The walls were gray and they were full of white doors. Some of the doors were closed, other were slightly open. He turned to where Cas and Elle were looking around the hallway. 

“What’s all this?” 

The girl gave him a sad smile. 

“This is Sam’s mind. Behind every door is a memory. The ones behind us are from his time before the cage. The ones in front of us are from the cage.” 

Dean’s eyes widened. 

“What? There are hundreds of doors here. Sam was in the cage for around six months. A month up here is 10 years down there. So sixty years. How could it be that many memories from that time?” 

He noticed that Elle suddenly looked uneasy and quickly walked closer to her. 

“Elle? What aren’t you telling?” 

She glanced towards Cas, but the angel was looking at her with as much confusion as Dean. 

“I thought you knew.” 

“Knew what?” 

She hesitated, before looking him straight in the eyes. 

“Time moves different in the cage. While the rest of hell is the way you said, one month up here is 10 years down there, the cage was made to punish even more. A day up here is 10 years down there. Sam was in the cage around 1800 years.” 

Dean staggered back and would have fallen over if Cas hadn’t grabbed his arm to steady him. 1800 years. He wanted to turn away and run. He wanted to scream. He wanted to shoot something. But he forced himself to stay calm. 

“What now?” 

Elle considered him for a few seconds, and then nodded. 

“We need to get to the right room and fix the memory.” 

Most probably noticing that Dean was still shaken, Cas took over. 

“Will you know which one is right?” 

Elle nodded. 

“Yes. But remember that, whatever we see in the other rooms, we can’t interfere. I don’t have enough power to interfere with too many of them. If I was pure-bred I could have, but my blood isn’t pure. My powers aren’t pure.” 

And, without another word, she started walking down the hallway. After exchanging a look, Cas and Dean followed her. After passing around 20 doors, Dean stopped looking inside the open rooms. The scenes of torture inside of them were too heartbreaking for him to witness. Just as he was going to ask how much farther they were going, Cas suddenly stopped and put his hand on Elle’s shoulder. His eyes were wide open as he looked inside one of the rooms. Against better judgement, Dean looked up from the ground and turned towards the open room, and almost threw up when he realized what the scene inside was indicating. Sam was completely naked, kneeling in the middle of the bare room. His hands were behind his back, but he wasn’t tied up. There was a pool of blood under him and small white puddles all  around him. His hair was messy and looked like someone had held onto it not long ago. From where they were standing, Dean could only see a part of Sam’s face, but he could see more white liquid on his face, especially around his mouth. He felt even more sick when he realized what the white liquid most probably was. He was pulled out of his horror by Cas asking Elle something in enochian. He felt a sudden surge of anger at not being able to understand them and latched onto it, deciding that it would be easier than thinking about what had happened to Sam. Elle glanced towards him and waved her hand slightly. 

“There. You understand now?”  

Dean was going to snap at her, when he suddenly realized what had happened. Elle’s mouth movements didn’t match up with the words he was hearing. He nodded. 

“Since Sam can understand english, I made sure you will be able to understand enochian.” 

Then she turned back to Cas. 

“As I said, I don’t think I have enough power to change too much. But this one. Yeah. I’ll do my best. Stay out here. Don’t touch anything.” 

And she walked inside the room. As soon as she stepped inside the room, Sam’s back straightened and he let out a small whimper. She walked around him and crouched down in front of him. 

“Sam. Can you look at me?” 

He looked up at her, a small tremor going through his body. 

“You… You don’t look like him.” 

“I’m not him. I’m here to help you.”  

Moving very slowly, she stretched her hand out and put her fingers on Sam’s temple. Gold light appeared where their skin met and Dean felt something in him calm slightly when the white liquid disappeared from Sam’s face. Seeing that he was clean, Elle pulled away from him and put her other hand up in the air. She snapped her fingers and clothes appeared on Sam’s body. A pair of sweatpants and a big hoodie. She snapped again and the room was suddenly clean. A bed appeared and even Cas seemed surprised at its appearance. It was taking up half the room and looked extremely fluffy. The sides that were touching the walls were full of pillows. There were blankets strewn all over it and even a few stuffed animals. Dean felt shocked when he realized that it was stuffed animals Sam had owned as a child. On the other side of the room was a tv playing a Disney movie. Very slowly, Elle stood up and pulled Sam up with her. He was still shaking and looked terrified, but let himself be led to the bed and pushed back so he was sitting on the edge. 

“Go on, Sam. You’re safe here. He won’t come after you anymore.”  

Sam looked up at her. 

“He’s dangerous.” 

“So am I. And I know someone more powerful than him. Trust me, Sam. You’re safe.”  

After a few seconds, Sam pulled himself further up the bed until he was sitting against the pillows. With careful movements, he grabbed two of the blankets and pulled them over himself. Seeing that he wasn’t hurt for doing that, he scrambled to get even more blankets, piling them around himself to create a barrier between himself and the rest of the room. With a smile, Elle left the room and closed the door behind herself, putting her hand against it for a few seconds. When she lifted her hand again, there was a glowing golden circle on it. 

“There. This should fix something.” 

As she started walking away from there, Dean quickly sided up to her, Cas coming up on her other side. 

“Will he forget that?” 

Elle shook her head. 

“No. I could make him forget, but that would be too dangerous. Too much of a risk that the memories crash back and cause even more damage than they do now. But I gave him a safe place to hide when the memory becomes too much.” 

Cas tilted his head. 

“Are you going to do it to the other memories as well?” 

The girl nodded. 

“I can’t do it all at the same time but, with time, I should be able to go through all the memories and give him at least some peace.” 

“And that someone more powerful than L?” 

Dean had by now decided that thinking too much about what that memory meant was too much, so he concentrated instead on the other things that had been said. 

“My brother. Even though we are twins, our powers developed differently. Mom used to day that we were complimenting each other. I’m a healer and protector, he is a ruthless fighter. Even with our mixed blood, he would be able to beat L. I have trouble imagining someone he couldn’t beat.” 

She stopped again and walked over to another door. This one was closed, but she seemed sure about what she was doing, so Cas and Dean just stood back. She opened the door and the two men were shocked by what they saw. The entire room was one enormous lake. In the middle of it was Sam. He was desperately trying to swim to the edge of the room but all he did was flail in one place. His clothes and hair were wet and there were what seemed to be burn marks on his skin. Elle shook her head and glanced back at Dean and Cas. 

“Remember the rules. Do not touch anything.” 

She waited until they both nodded, before snapping her fingers. A small boat appeared and she stepped into it, making sure to not touch the water. With a small wave, she made the boat float forward. It stopped next to Sam and, when he stopped moving and just looked up at her, Elle bent down and stretched her hand out towards him. 

“Come on, Sam. Let’s get you warm.” 

He visibly hesitated, before quickly reaching his hand out and grabbing onto Elle’s wrist. She winced, but didn’t move away. Instead she pulled her arm up and dragged Sam into the boat. Another snap and Sam was dry, the burns on his skin gone. Elle looked around and, with a deep sigh, snapped again. A big island appeared in the middle of the lake, a small house standing in the middle of it. The boat floated over to it and Elle helped Sam get out of it and led him over to the house. With gentle movements, she made him sit on the porch and pointed out towards the small woods on the other side of the island. 

“Look, Sam.” 

Sam turned to where she was pointing to, a gasp escaping him when a Golden Retriever came bounding out from between the trees and ran over to the house. 

“You’re safe here.” 

Seeing how Sam’s entire concentration was on the dog, she walked over to the edge of the water and put her hands up. A golden glow enveloped the water and, when it disappeared, it looked slightly lighter. With another smile towards where Sam was cuddling with the dog, she suddenly disappeared, only to reappear next to Cas just seconds later. Even this time, she closed the door and made a glowing circle on it. Then she turned to the two men and smiled tiredly. 

“Let’s get back.”

Chapter 6: Ce

When Dean opened his eyes, he was back in Bobby’s living room. He glanced over to where Sam was sleeping comfortably and then stood up and marched over to the desk. He grabbed the bottle of whisky that was there and poured himself a glass, immediately knocking it back. He did it two more times, cursing silently the fact that he couldn’t get drunk off of just this. When he turned back to Bobby, he saw the man’s concerned expression. 

“That bad?” 

Dean nodded and took a deep breath. He needed to calm down. He needed to focus on something other than what he had seen, or he would destroy something. His eyes landed on Elle, who was still crouching next to the couch, and he zeroed in on her. 

“Your parents. Gabriel and Kali, right?”

Both Bobby and Cas quickly turned towards her, shock clear on their faces. With slow, graceful movements, the girl stood up and rolled her shoulders. 

“How did you figure that out?” 

“You’re more like your father than you think.” 

She nodded, a small smile appearing on her face. Meanwhile, Cas was frowning. 

“How is that possible?” 

The girl glanced back at him. 

“I’m not sure. From what mother has told us, it shouldn’t be possible. But it happened. Me and my brother are both more powerful than anything else around, and not as powerful as we could have been if our blood wasn’t tainted by that of a pagan. Or rather I am. My brother…” 

She raised her hand to wave some hair away from her face and Cas stepped forward when he noticed something. Her wrist looked like it had been burned, the skin red and inflamed. 

“What’s that?” 

She glanced down at her wrist and winced. 

“That’s why I told you to not touch anything in Sam’s memories. While just going in to see memories can’t do anything to you, we went in to change them and interact with them. Which also meant that they can interact with us. That lake Sam was in was pure acid. He accidentally burned me when he grabbed my wrist.” 

Without a word, Cas stretched his hand out and put it over her wrist. When he removed it again, the burn was gone. Elle smiled. 

“Thank you.” 

They all turned to Bobby, clearly ready to start explaining things to him, when Cas suddenly tilted his head and frowned. Seeing his expression, Dean put his glass away and stepped closer to the couch, instinctively moving closer to Sam in case he would need to protect him. Cas stood still for a few seconds, before jerking a bit. 

“Cas? What’s wrong?” 

“The angel radio. The angels know we moved Sam. In their eyes, he is a part of hell and shouldn’t be up here anymore. They are coming to kill him.” 

Elle groaned. 

“Damn it. I forgot to put the shields back up.” 

Everyone turned to her. 

“When you and Sam were in that motel room, I put up shields to keep anyone and anything away from you. That means angels too. The shields fell when you left the motel, and I forgot to put them up again here.” 

Bobby, who had relaxed slightly, now tightened his grip on the shotgun. 

“Do you know how many, Cas?” 

The angel shrugged. 

“Not sure, but somewhere around 15-16.” 

Dean felt dread fill him. 15-16 angels. Sam in a state that could make him run off and do something stupid while they were fighting. They wouldn’t make it. Elle sighed and waved her hand around the room. 

“Stay here. Don’t leave the house. I’ll deal with this.” 

Dean shook his head. 

“Even with all your power, I don’t think you’ll be able to take them.” 

Elle shrugged. 

“I don’t need to beat them. I just need to put myself in danger. Stay here.” 

And she marched out of the house. Immediately, the three of them hurried over to the windows to see her, Dean positioning himself so he could still see Sam out of the corner of his eye. Elle walked to the front of the house and stopped, rolling her shoulders again. Seconds later, 17 angels landed in front of her in a half-circle. They looked at her with disgusted looks and, on a signal that only they could hear, all fired their powers at her. Elle’s hands flew up, a golden barrier appearing between the angels and her. To everyone’s shock, a pair of white wings appeared behind her, spreading out as she was pushed back a bit. Her arms shook, but the barrier held. 

“She won’t make it.” 

Right as Dean and Cas were ready to rush outside, a roar stopped them. It was a terrifying roar, one that made even Cas’ blood run cold. A black blur was seen falling from the sky, before it impacted the ground so hard that everything inside the house shook. A boy, looking to be the  same age as Elle, was standing next to the girl. He had shoulder-long black hair and his black jeans and t-shirt were both distressed in several places. His nails were long talons and, when he glanced back towards the house, Dean noticed that he had animalistic fangs in his mouth and glowing red eyes. Even he had wings, but his looked like a dragons, with talons on the top bones. He glared at the angels, opened his mouth and let out a roar, his wings flaring out behind him. A blast of energy went out of him and blasted all the angels back at once. They fell onto the ground, writhing and screaming in pain. Seconds later, they stilled and burst into flames. Not even a minute after he had arrived, all the angels were disintegrated, only outlines of their wings left. Elle put the barrier down, her wings disappearing into thin air. She turned to the boy and smiled. 

“I knew you would come.” 

“You said you would stay away from them.” 

His voice was underlined by a growl and his appearance didn’t shift. Elle rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not going to turn away from people who need me, Ce.” 

Then she tilted her head towards the house. 

“Come on inside.” 

The boy growled, showing his fangs. Elle raised her eyebrows at that. 

“Please.” 

He growled again, but still nodded and followed her inside. As they walked inside the room where everyone else was, Dean and Cas moved closer to the couch where Sam was still sleeping. Elle smiled tiredly. 

“Everyone, this is my brother. Ce.” 

She glanced at him and frowned. 

“Change. Sam might react badly if he sees you like this.” 

Ce looked ready to protest, but then he noticed his sister's glare and sighed heavily. His wings draped across his shoulders and shifted into a long leather coat. His fangs and talons retracted into looking more human-like, and his eyes turned dark brown. 

“Happy?” 

Elle smiled. 

“Thank you.” 

Then she turned to Cas.

“Anything on the angel radio?” 

The angel tilted his head and seemed to listen for a few seconds, before a frown appeared on his face. 

“This group managed to send out a message to the rest. They realized what you are through your power, but they don’t know what to do about that. So we are safe for now.” 

Dean nodded at that and concentrated on the twins. 

“Alright. Mind telling us a bit more about yourselves? Because, if I’m quite honest, I don’t know how to feel about you two.” 

Ce growled, his voice slightly more human now that he was shifted. 

“You mean you don’t know how to feel about me.” 

Dean just glared at him and the boy looked ready to snap, his fangs starting to appear again. But he visibly calmed down when Elle put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Ce. You would have been the same way if it was me on that couch.” 

That made him sigh heavily and flop down onto one of the chairs. 

“Alright. What do you want to know, human?” 

“Why are you two so different? And how did you kill all those angels so easily?” 

Before Elle could answer, Ce was already talking. 

“Elle is taking after out father. That angel gave her healing powers and the protection ability. I took after our mother. The Destroyer.” 

Bobby, who had been standing in silence and just listening, now stepped closer to them. 

“You’re not fond of your father, are you?” 

Ce snorted. 

“He left when he found out that mom was pregnant. He never showed up when we were children. Mom brought us to him and left us with him when we were five, telling him that we were his responsibility too. We stayed with him for a month, before he flew us to a temple of Kali and just dumped us there. Mom didn’t find out until years later and, by that point, we had practically raised ourselves. He showed up during the Apocalypse, put me under a sleeping curse, and left Elle out there alone. So no, I’m not fond of him.” 

Just as he was going to continue, Cas put his hand up. 

“The angels are talking again.” 

Everyone stilled in silence, even Ce waiting for what was going to be said. After a few seconds, Cas turned to look straight at the twins. 

“The orders have changed. Getting to Sam is secondary. They want to kill you two first.” 

Elle nodded. 

“I suspected that. Me and Ce will lead them away from here and take care of the threat. You don’t have to…” 

“We will?” 

Everyone turned to Ce. He was staring at his sister, red coming through in his eyes again. 

“I came here because you were in danger. I don’t care what happens to the humans or the angel. For all I care, they can all die.” 

“Fine. You want to go. Go. But I’m staying. I’m done turning away from people I can help.” 

Ce growled, showing his fangs. 

“You’re not going to give me a choice, are you?” 

“I just did. Help me lead the angels away, or leave. That’s the choice I’m giving you.” 

The boy kept glaring at her, before the coat unfurled into wings again, and his appearance shifted fully. 

“I’ll wait for you outside. I’m not  doing it for them, but I guess I won’t mind killing some of the winged monkeys.” 

And he walked out, almost knocking a shelf over with his wings. Elle rolled her eyes and turned back to Dean. 

“I’ll be back. I promise. I’ll help you with Sam’s mind.”

Then she hurried outside, where they saw her grab Ce’s hand. Her wings appeared and, seconds later, the two were gone, just a gold-black streak left after them. Cas, who was still listening to the angel radio, nodded after a few seconds. 

“They went after them. We’re safe.”

Chapter 7: I Need To See Him

Dean was about to comment on that, when he noticed that Sam was stirring on the couch behind him. Immediately, he crouched down in front of him. On the other side of the room, Bobby stepped to the side to make sure that Sam would have to fully turn around to see him. It took a while but, after several minutes, Sam’s eyes opened and he slowly sat up. His eyes swept over Cas, clearly making sure that his color and wings hadn’t changed, and then turned to Dean. 

“Elle?” 

Dean smiled. 

“She left with her brother. But they will be back. How are you feeling?” 

Sam looked around, looking for the dictionary, but turned back to him when Dean shook his head. 

“You can just talk. Elle did something and now I can understand enochian.” 

“Oh. I’m fine. Tired. But it’s warmer now. Not like I’m drowning. He… He liked it when I drowned. Said that he liked to see the desperation.” 

He shook all over once, before leaning back against the back of the couch. 

“It wasn’t him, was it?” 

Cas shook his head and walked closer to the couch, sitting down on it as far away from Sam as he could. Seeing how Sam frowned at that, he slowly moved closer, still keeping some distance between them. 

“No. It wasn’t him. Bobby has a similar color, but it’s not the same one. You understand that, right?” 

“It looks like him. He… He would make himself look like all of you. You, Bobby, Jody. Ellen and Jo once or twice. He turned into Gabriel once, but couldn’t keep the illusion the entire time. He said it was too painful for him. His favorite was Dean. He would turn into Dean and… He liked Dean. He knew it hurt most when it was Dean. But he was always red. Like the sun setting.” 

Cas nodded in understanding. 

“So, seeing Bobby with red around him made you think that it was an illusion.” 

“Yes.” 

“But there were differences between them, right? Bobby is more rusty red.” 

Slowly, Sam nodded. 

“Yes. He’s different. I just… He would sometimes leave me in an illusion for months. Let me believe I was free. That I was saved.” 

Hearing that, Dean moved closer to him. 

“You are saved, Sammy. You’re free. Safe. We won’t let him come anywhere near you again. You know that, right?” 

When Sam hesitated, Cas turned fully towards him, his expression turning even more serious than usual. When he spoke, he had switched to enochian and made sure that his voice was soft. 

“Sam. I know that this might be hard for you to do, after all he did to you, but I want you to know that you can say ‘no’. We want you to be honest with us. No one here will get mad at you or punish you for saying no. On the contrary, we will be happy if you say what you mean and what you want. Do you understand?” 

Sam nodded slowly, his eyes wide open. 

“I realize it will not be easy for you, but we still want you to try.” 

He waited until Sam nodded again, and then looked up at Bobby. With one hand, he waved at him and, stepping slowly and calmly, the old man walked around the couch to the other side of the room. As soon as he saw him, Sam froze and tensed up. Dean immediately moved  a bit to the side to be able to stop Sam in case he bolted again. Once Bobby was standing still, Cas grabbed Sam’s elbow and stood up. 

“Come on.” 

Sam’s eyes snapped over to him. Seeing how shocked and worried he was, Cas switched to enochian. 

“He was cold, right? Always cold.” 

Sam nodded. 

“Come on then, Sammy. Let me show you that this isn’t him.” 

Very slowly, Sam stood up and, even slower, allowed Cas to lead him closer to Bobby. The old man was standing completely still, breathing as calmly as he could. Cas and Sam stopped right in front of him and Cas grabbed Sam’s hand, lifting it up towards Bobby’s shoulder. He put it there, Sam flinching slightly at the contact. But then his eyes widened and his hand started moving around on Bobby’s shoulder. 

“Warm. Human.” 

Cas nodded. 

“Yes. He is human.” 

After a few seconds, Sam stepped back and walked back to the couch, sitting down on the ground in front of it and turning towards Dean, sudden clarity visible in his eyes. 

“Do you hate me?” 

Dean’s eyes widened. 

“What? Of course not. Why would I hate you, Sammy?” 

“You saw what he did.” 

“You were tortured, Sammy. I still don’t know how that would make me hate you.” 

“I didn’t fight back. I let him do it. I… I asked him to do it. He was always nicer after.”

Dean sighed. 

“Listen to me very closely, Sam. What happened to you is not your fault. You did what you could to not get hurt, and that’s not wrong. It’s normal. Natural. No one in their right mind would blame you for that. Especially not me. Understand?” 

Very slowly, Sam nodded. 

“Good.” 

He moved so he was sitting with his back against the couch next to Sam and turned to Bobby. 

“How have you guys been?” 

Bobby sat down in an armchair while Cas flopped down on the ground in front of the fireplace. 

“We’ve been fine. Some of the hunters have taken it upon themselves to travel around a bit more, cover some of the ground you three used to cover. Cas is great at researching, so he has been helping me out here. We’re doing good. We…” 

He stopped when there was a knock on the door. Sam, who had been fully focused on something he saw on the carpet, looked up with a frown. 

“Elle?” 

Bobby shook his head as he stood up. 

“I doubt she would knock.” 

And he walked out of the room. Just seconds later, they heard his frantic voice coming towards the living room. 

“Just listen to me. This is not what you…” 

“Don’t try, Bobby. I know that car. I need to see him.” 

Before they could react, Jody burst into the room, her eyes immediately landing on Sam. With one swift move, Dean went from sitting to crouching, putting himself between the woman and his brother. 

“Jody. Don’t come closer.” 

He heard Cas stand up and walk closer to Sam, but didn’t take his eyes off the woman. Jody had stopped a few steps inside the room, while Bobby was standing in the doorway. 

“Sammy? Do you remember Jody?” 

He heard a rustle as Sam moved a bit to look over Dean’s shoulder. 

“She’s beautiful.” 

His voice was almost full of wonder and Dean chanced a glance back to him. Sam was staring at Jody, but there was no fear on his face. 

“What color do you see?” 

“Lavender. Newly bloomed lavender on a sunny morning. I have never seen this color before. She’s beautiful.” 

“You alright with Jody coming closer?” 

This time, Sam hesitated. His eyes flitted over to Cas and the angel smiled. 

“You can tell us if you don’t want that.” 

“I… I’m not sure.” 

Dean nodded. 

“Alright. Jody. Sit down on that armchair. Don’t get too close to us.” 

Then he sat back against the couch again. The day was going way differently than he thought it would be. Jody did as she had been told, Bobby sitting down in the other armchair. 

“What are you doing here, Jody?” 

“I need your help. I have a case that I think is a ghost, but I’m not sure. I thought Bobby could help me out. It’s just half an hour away from here.” 

Before anyone could ask her anything about the case, Sam turned to Dean, determination appearing on his face. 

“You should go.” 

Dean frowned. 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re restless. You need to hunt.” 

“I don’t mind staying here with you, Sammy. You know that.” 

“But you need to hunt. It’s the family business. You like to hunt.” 

Dean considered him carefully, and then shook his head. 

“It’s fine. Bobby can go. I don’t mind…” 

He stopped when Sam lowered his head and, in a voice that wasn’t very much above a whisper, said:

“No.” 

As both him and Cas stilled, Sam glanced up from behind his hair, his eyes widening when he saw the shocked look on Dean’s face. Seeing his fear, Dean quickly smiled. 

“Good job, Sammy. Um. Alright. If you’re sure, I’ll go.” 

Sam nodded quickly, his eyes holding a slightly fearful look in them even after being told that he did good. It was clear that he wasn’t going to speak anymore and Dean was violently reminded that, even though he had seemed more relaxed, Sam was still deeply traumatized. The thought about 1800 years flitted through his head, and he quickly pushed it to the side. Maybe Sam was right. He had gotten quite restless without hunting. This could be his chance to get rid of some of his energy and anger without scaring his brother. 

“Alright. I’ll be back in a few hours. You stay with Cas and Bobby. Anything happens, you send Cas to get me, alright?” 

Sam nodded again, flinching slightly when Jody stood up. She froze, before slowly walking out of the room, making sure to not make any too violent movements. Dean stood up as well and smiled down at Sam. 

“Don’t get into any trouble while I’m away, Sammy.” 

And, after getting another nod, he left the room as well, heading towards the front door where Jody was waiting for him. As soon as he had gotten to her, he saw the deep worry on her face. 

“Dean. What’s going on with Sam? When Bobby told me Cas had gotten him out, I thought he had fixed him too.” 

Dean smiled sadly. 

“I wish there was a way to just 'fix him’. Cas could only heal the physical wounds. The psychological are the real issue.” 

Then he nodded towards the door. 

“Come on. I’ll tell you on the way there.” 

And, with another glance back towards the living room, he left the house.

Chapter 8: The Hole

The first two hours after Dean had left had gone by calmly. Bobby had told Sam about a few cases he had been on but, when the young man was just kept his eyes on the carpet, he had exchanged a look with Cas and then left the room to go do some research. Cas had grabbed a book in enochian that Bobby had found about a month into his stay with him, and sat down on an armchair, starting to read out loud. Sam had stayed on the floor next to the couch, his eyes not moving from a small bullet hole in the carpet. Cas would look up from time to time but never commented on Sam’s position or silence. Then, shortly after the two hour mark, Sam whimpered suddenly. Cas’ head snapped up to him, his voice cutting out in the middle of a word. Sam was shaking slightly as he still stared at the bullet hole. Very slowly, Cas put the book to the side and leaned forward. 

“Sam?” 

The man’s head turned to him, his eyes widening slightly. 

“How are you doing this?” 

Cas tilted his head. 

“Doing what?” 

“How did you change your color?” 

The angel’s eyes widened when he realized who Sam thought he was. 

“Sam, I’m not him. It’s me. Castiel.” 

Sam shook his head, his eyes returning to the hole. 

“Don’t lie to me. I’m not stupid. Just… Just tell me what you want me to do. I’m tired.” 

Cas stood up and walked closer to Sam, stopping when the man flinched. 

“It’s me, Sammy. Cas. You’re safe. This is Bobby’s home.” 

Sam looked up at him with slight annoyance. 

“Don’t lie to me, Michael. I know that, out of the two of you, you would be the one to figure out how to change your color. Just go ahead and do whatever you want. But don’t do any permanent damage. He doesn’t like his toys marked up by someone else. You know that. He’ll be mad if you hurt me. And he’ll take it out on me.” 

Before Cas could get over his shock on it being Michael Sam thought he was, Bobby suddenly walked into the room with a glass of water in his hand. 

“Sam, do you…” 

He stopped when Sam whimpered loudly and threw himself backwards. 

“He didn’t touch me. I swear. He didn’t touch me. Please. Please I didn’t do anything.” 

Moving as quickly as he could, Cas spread his wings out to block Sam’s view of Bobby and waved his hand towards the old man. Thankfully, he understood and left the room again, while Cas crouched down in front of Sam. 

“Sammy, calm down. It’s me. I promise. You’re safe. We got you out.”  

But there was no getting through to the panicked man. Sam just crawled backwards until he had backed himself into the corner. He was curled up, his arms hugging his knees close to his chest. After a few seconds of hesitation, Cas stood up and walked out of the room as well. He went to the kitchen where Bobby was standing with his hands on the table, his fingers white from how hard he was clutching it. 

“I’ll try tracking down Jody to get to Dean. He should be able to get through to Sam. Make sure he doesn’t leave the house.” 

Bobby nodded and, with one last worried glance towards him, Cas flew off. He sped over the fields and forests, zeroing in on Jody. Seconds later, he landed next to her in the middle of the park. The woman jumped and screamed quietly, before looking around with worry. It was still early, so there weren’t many people there, and the few that were weren’t paying them any attention. 

“Cas. What are…” 

“No time. Where is Dean?” 

“Um. The old warehouse at the edge of the town. He told me to follow…” 

Without waiting to hear what else she had to say, Cas took off again. He burst into the warehouse and, with one hand movement, set the bones in the corner of it on fire. Dean jumped back from them with a gasp, turning around quickly, his gun pointed at Cas. 

“Cas? What are you…?” 

“Hold on.” 

He grabbed Dean and started flying again, spreading his grace out towards the man to make sure he wouldn’t get sick. He landed back in the kitchen, where Bobby was still leaning over the table. Dean swayed slightly when they landed and turned to glare at Cas. 

“What the hell?” 

Instead of answering, Cas grabbed his elbow and pulled him to the opening to the living room. 

“We can’t get through to him.” 

Almost by instinct, Dean’s eyes found Sam where he was still curled up in the corner. He dragged in a sharp breath and slowly walked into the room, putting his gun in his pocket. 

“Sammy?” 

Sam’s head snapped up to him, his eyes widening. 

“Green.” 

Dean forced himself to smile. 

“Yeah, buddy. Green. It’s me.” 

Sam shook his head. 

“Dean doesn’t know enochian.” 

“Elle made sure I understand it. Remember Elle?” 

The younger man seemed to think hard for a moment, before some clarity appeared in his eyes. 

“Gabriel’s daughter? Golden fire?” 

Dean nodded, his smile turning less forced. He walked closer to Sam and sat down with his back against the wall. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” 

“I… The hole. Michael took me from him once, and he got so mad. No one was supposed to touch his toys. He was very possessive. When he found us, he was furious. Michael had left so many scars on me that day, but the fact that he took me to bed was the worst thing. When he found us, he decided that it was too mild to just stab Michael with a blade. He wanted to do it more demeaningly. He shot him full of bullets. One of them missed and hit the floor. He… He had me on his knees in that room for days after that, while he killed Michael over and over again. I… After some time, I didn’t want to look anymore, so I concentrated on the hole in the floor. When I saw the hole in the carpet I thought…” 

Taking a chance, Dean reached out and put his arm around Sam’s shoulders. His brother tensed up for a few seconds, before melting into his side and starting to cry. 

“Please don’t hate me.” 

Dean hugged him a bit closer. 

“I don’t hate you, Sammy. I could never hate you.” 

He looked around the room and his eyes landed on the couch. 

“You wanna move to the couch?” 

After slight hesitation, Sam shook his head and pressed himself closer to Dean. 

“Alright, buddy. We can stay here.” 

He shifted a bit so that they were more comfortable and started to quietly hum whatever songs came to mind. 

 

******

 

Half an hour later, they all heard the Impala pull into the lot and, shortly after, Jody entered the house. Bobby met her in the hallway and, after explaining everything, he led her to the living room where Dean and Sam were still sitting against the wall. Cas had moved back to the armchair and was reading the enochian book out loud again. Bobby sat down in the other armchair, while Jody took the couch. 

“The case is closed now. Thank you.” 

Dean nodded towards Cas, who had quieted when the woman entered. 

“Thank Cas.” 

“Thank you.” 

She leaned back on the couch and seemed to want to ask about something, but then stopped herself and tilted her head. 

“Are any of you hungry? I wouldn’t mind doing some food for everyone.” 

Dean’s head snapped over to Cas. 

“The fridge. We forgot the fridge in the car.” 

Without a word, the angel stood up and left the room. He came back a few minutes later, a troubled look on his face. Dean frowned at him. 

“What?” 

Sam, who had been dozing off against Dean’s side, looked up at the change in his brother’s voice. 

“The food. It’s all rotten. Like it has been there for a few months.” 

He sat down heavily on the couch. 

“I don’t understand it. I’m the one who packed the food. It wasn’t bad.” 

Dean frowned, thinking hard about what could have happened. The food had been fresh. He knew that himself. A sudden thought struck him. 

“Ce. The Impala was in the path of his energy burst. If it killed the angels, could it have spoiled the food?” 

Cas tilted his head slightly. 

“It’s not impossible. But something like that would require corrupted grace.” 

“He’s part pagan.” 

“Even with this, even Lu… L has a purer grace. Something like this would mean grace that has been corrupted by darkness so deeply, that there is no way back. Pure chaos and hate and darkness. Pure evil.” 

Bobby huffed out a heavy sigh. 

“Makes you happy he’s on our side.” 

“He’s not. He’s on Elle’s side. I have no doubt that he would kill us all if it wasn’t for her.” 

Dean, who had been more focused on Sam than the fact that Ce was the most dangerous thing around, shook his head. 

“What are we doing about food? I can’t go shopping. None of you know what to buy.” 

Jody moved forward a bit on the couch. 

“What about Jenny’s Diner? It’s ten minutes away from here. And, this early in the morning, there won’t be many guests there.” 

Dean’s instinct told him that this was a bad idea, but he also knew that Sam needed to eat and that leaving his brother was a bad idea. He turned his head towards Sam and was met with wide brown eyes. 

“What do you think, Sammy?” 

“You’ll come with us?” 

He smiled. 

“Of course. I’m not leaving you.” 

Sam nodded. 

“Alright. We can go.”

Chapter 9: Everything's Golden

As the waitress walked away with their orders, Dean kept his eyes on Sam. He was sitting on the edge of the bench, giving him an easy way to run away. In hindsight, this was a bad idea but, now that they were sitting, it didn’t seem right to have him switch. His eyes were going from flying over the three other customers and waitress, to just staring at the table. Even though he was shaking from time to time, he seemed fairly calm, so they tried to ignore it. When the waitress had looked at him with worry and concern, before turning her suspicious eyes to Dean, he had just smiled sadly and said:

“My brother has PTSD.” 

The suspicion had disappeared almost immediately, and she just looked sad and understanding. 

“I’m sorry. Um. Thank you for your service.” 

With how soft her voice had gotten, Dean didn’t have the heart to correct her. And, when he considered it, they should be thanking Sam. The whole world should be on their knees, thanking him for what he did. For what he went through. As she walked away, he turned to Sam. He was sitting opposite of him since they all silently agreed to let Cas sit next to the younger man. 

“What colors do you see, Sammy?” 

His brother looked up from the table and glanced around, before concentrating on Dean again. 

“The man in the corner is dark honey. The woman next to him is light gray. Like a light thundercloud. That big truck driver next to the door is light pink. Like those flowers that grew behind the Roadhouse.” 

“And the waitress?” 

“Algae green. Very calm.” 

The door behind Dean opened and he glanced back. Another man came inside, clearly a trucker by the way he was dressed. He looked tired, and Dean guessed that he must’ve been driving the whole night. Before he could think more about the man, Sam whimpered and curled in on himself, his breathing picking up speed. 

“Red. Red. Red.” 

He kept muttering that over and over again, and Dean was seconds away from telling Cas to take Sam back to the house, when the door opened again. As soon as it did, and Sam’s eyes landed on whoever was walking inside, the young man stilled, his eyes wide open. Seeing his reaction, Dean quickly turned around to look at the newcomer. He was tall, taller than Dean but not quite as tall as Sam. He had black, shoulder-long hair and amber eyes. Dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, he kinda reminded Dean of Ce. The man’s eyes swept over the room, stopping on their table. Behind Dean, Cas gasped quietly, and the man smiled as he steered his steps towards them. Before Dean could even think about standing up, the man had come all the way to their table and leaned forward a bit. 

“Hi, kiddo. You look awful.” 

Sam, whose eyes had never left the man’s face, now looked out to the sides of him, before concentrating back on his face. 

“You.” 

The man seemed surprised for a second, before effortlessly switching to enochian. 

“Yeah. From the look you just gave me, I’m guessing you can see my wings?” 

Sam nodded, and the man smiled. 

“You speak Enochian as well?” 

“He wouldn’t let me speak anything else.” 

A sad look appeared on the man’s face and that was enough for Dean. 

“Wait a second. Who the hell are you?” 

Before the man could answer, Cas breathed out a surprised: 

“Gabriel.” 

Bobby and Jody, who didn’t understand enochian and were therefore left in the dark up until now, both gasped. Dean shook his head. 

“No. You died.” 

Gabriel nodded. 

“Yeah. I did. Look. Why don’t we go back to Bobby’s, I get you all some food, and we can talk without anyone overhearing.” 

And, without waiting for their answer, he snapped his fingers. When the usual vertigo of traveling with an angel left, Dean immediately turned to where Sam was whimpering on the floor. He was already heading towards him, when Gabriel crouched down next to Sam and put his hands on his shoulders. 

“Sam. Look at me. Come on. Look at me. I don’t look like him, right? I’m not like him. There you go. Deep breaths. Here.” 

He shifted his shoulders a bit, clearly moving his wings, and Sam’s eyes widened as he looked around. 

“That better?” 

“You’re beautiful. It’s… Everything’s golden.” 

Gabriel smiled and, very slowly, helped Sam up onto the couch, before sitting down next to him. Seeing that Sam was much calmer now, Dean flopped down onto the other couch with Cas next to him, while Bobby and Jody took the armchairs. He didn’t understand what was happening, but guessed it had something to do with the angel and his family since it had been just as easy for Elle to calm Sam down. 

“Alright. Mind telling us what’s going on? How are you alive?”

“First of all, does Sam understand english?” 

“Yes. I do.” 

“Alright. To start from the beginning, I did die in that motel. I don't know what happened to me after I died. All I know is that I woke up a few months ago in a field without any explanation. I found a town, checked the news and figured out how long had passed. I don’t know how I came back, but something in my mind kept telling me that I needed to find Sam. Since I can’t track either him or Dean, I zeroed in on Cas. But, since I wasn’t sure what was happening, I thought it would be safer to stay out of his sight in the beginning. I walked away for some time to see if I could figure out why I was brought back but, when I couldn’t find anything, I tracked Cas down to that diner I found you all in.” 

As Dean tried to figure out how to deal with all of this, Bobby gave Gabriel a sharp look. 

“Why do you look different than you did back then?” 

Gabriel just gave him a small grin. 

“I was under witness protection. Had to change my appearance to make sure the other pagans believed that I was Loki. Whoever brought me back, brought me back in my original vessel. This is how I really look.”

“Ce looks almost exactly like you.” 

As Gabriel’s eyes widened, Bobby’s look got even more sharp, the man more or less glaring at the angel.  

“You… What… How do you know about Ce?”

“Him and Elle helped us.”

At that, Gabriel shook his head. 

“Ce? Ce helped HUMANS? He wouldn’t do that. He’s too corrupted.” 

Bobby’s glare intensified. 

“Maybe if you had taken the time to get to know them, you would know better.” 

His voice had gotten angry and, next to Gabriel, Sam whimpered slightly. The man calmed down immediately, taking a deep breath. 

“Sorry, Sam. It’s not you I’m mad at.” 

Right then, a phone started to ring somewhere in the house. Sam’s eyes widened and he flew up to his feet, looking around wildly. Then he put both his hands against his stomach and doubled over, crying out. Dean immediately stood up, managing to take two steps towards Sam, before Gabriel suddenly appeared in front of the young man and put his hands on his shoulders again. Sam whimpered in fear, but quieted when Gabriel forced him upright and, with a hand on his chin, turned his face towards himself. As soon as he saw him, Sam fell forwards, only being supported by the angel. He was fully concentrated on Gabriel and, after a few seconds, started talking more calmly. 

“You better now, kiddo?” 

Sam nodded slowly. 

“Yes.” 

Gabriel helped him sit down again and sat down next to him. Bobby, who had hurried out of the room to answer the phone, now came back into the room. Seeing his face, Dean frowned. 

“What’s going on?” 

“An old acquaintance of mine called. He has a ghost problem and needs help with it. It turned out to be harder than he thought it would be. I’ll have to go.” 

Dean glanced over to where Sam was incredibly calm next to Gabriel, and tilted his head. 

“Sammy?” 

His brother looked over to him. 

“Would you be alright with me going with Bobby?” 

Sam gave him a small nod. 

“You’ll come back, right?” 

Dean stood up, walked over to Sam and  crouched down in front of him. 

“Of course I will. I would never leave you, Sammy. You know what?” 

He reached up to his neck and pulled his amulet off. He had found it in Sam’s bag after his brother had jumped into the Cage. With it was a letter that told him that even if he didn’t believe anymore, Sam still believed in him and he wanted Dean to have the amulet back. With shaking hands, he had put it on, before leaving Bobby’s house and thrashing at least five different cars in the lot. Seeing him take the amulet off made Sam’s eyes widen, but he stayed calm so, as slowly as he could, Dean reached forward and put the leather string over Sam’s head, patting the amulet slightly. 

“I’ll be back for this.” 

Sam’s nod seemed more secure now, so he smiled and stood up. 

“Send Cas if something happens.” 

It was addressed to Sam, but Dean’s eyes were on Cas. The angel nodded with seriousness. 

“Of course.” 

Dean then turned to Gabriel, a glare appearing on his face. 

“Hurt him, and I will kill you. Archangel or not.” 

“I won’t. Don’t worry.” 

Dean kept his glare on him for a few more seconds, before nodding and leaving the room with Bobby and Jody, the woman mentioning that she had to head back to the station.

Chapter 10: Dripping In Blood

Dean pulled up in front of Bobby’s house and slowly got out. Bobby stepped out of the car as well, groaning as his bones popped. 

“Yeah. I’m not used to sitting in a car this long.” 

Dean grinned. 

“Getting old, huh?” 

Bobby rolled his eyes. 

“Just wait, boy. It waits you too.” 

Dean laughed quietly and locked the car, before following the older man into the house.

“I’m gonna hit the shower.” 

He nodded and, once Bobby had left for the shower, he headed towards the living room. When he got to the doorway, he almost smiled. Sam was laying on the couch, sleeping. There were a few plates with food rests on the ground next to Gabriel who was sitting with his back against the couch. The angel had one of his hands on Sam’s head, stroking his hair while his position and the way he was leaning towards the couch told Dean that he was keeping one of his wings over Sam’s body. Cas was sitting on the floor as well, resting against the armchair, his head tilted back so it was resting on the seat and he was looking at the ceiling. 

“But that would require an act of violence and terror.” 

Gabriel shrugged, making sure that the side where he was holding the wing over Sam was staying still, and answered silently:

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“But I still don’t think she would let him.” 

“Just because he cares about her, doesn’t mean he listens to her. There’s something wrong with him.” 

Their voices weren’t much louder than a whisper and, when Dean entered the room and sat down on the floor as well, he kept his voice quiet as well. 

“Everything alright?” 

Cas raised his head and nodded. 

“Yes. Sam stayed calm, ate and drank what Gabriel got him, and then laid down to rest. He fell asleep around an hour ago.” 

The worry that Dean had been feeling through the entire hunt finally lessened. He also felt better after getting to beat something up. He was calmer. 

“What were you two talking about?” 

“Ce. I asked Gabriel how it was possible that Ce’s grace is so corrupted. Something like what he explains would be impossible.” 

“Yeah. I think we’d all know if a demon like monster caused a World War style massacre.” 

“What about blasphemy?” 

The two angels turned to him with raised eyebrows. 

“He’s half pagan. Grace is something angels got from God, right? So what if he used the grace he has but to use it like pagan powers. He gave into his pagan side, instead of the angel one.” 

Cas nodded slowly. 

“It’s possible.” 

Seeing that the conversation was most likely finished, Dean glanced to where Sam was sleeping calmly. 

“How are you keeping him so calm?” 

Gabriel shrugged again. 

“I’m not sure. I’m not even sure why I feel like I should take care of him, protect him. As I said, when I woke up in that field all I fully knew was that I had to get to Sam. I don’t know why.” 

He stopped for a moment as Bobby walked into the room and handed Dean a beer. He considered the floor for a moment, before shaking his head and sitting down on an armchair. 

“I’m beat. I haven’t…” 

He quieted when Cas suddenly put his hand up, a frown appearing on his face. At the same time, Gabriel tilted his head and closed his eyes. They sat like that for almost two minutes, before Gabriel’s eyes snapped open and Cas shot up to his feet. Dean, who had been tense while the silence lasted, shot up to his feet as well. 

“What?” 

“The angels. They lost track of Elle and Ce, so they are on their way back. They want to get to Sam before following them again.” 

Immediately, Dean turned to Gabriel. 

“Take him away from here. If they are on the way here, that means Elle and Ce are too. We just need to hold them off before they arrive. But I’m not risking Sam’s life. You know how to hide from people. Take Sam and Cas and leave. Hide somewhere and protect him.” 

“What if Elle and Ce don’t show up?” 

Bobby gave Gabriel a glare. 

“They will.” 

Dean sighed. 

“Just go, Gabriel. Cas. Take care of Sam.” 

“You don’t have to tell me that.” 

Him and Gabriel moved closer to the couch and, seconds later, they were gone along with the sleeping Sam and the entire couch. With a deep breath, Dean pulled his gun out and turned to Bobby. 

“You ready?” 

Bobby nodded and stood up with a groan. He grabbed a shotgun, made sure it was loaded and then followed Dean out of the house. The sun was standing high in the sky and Dean had to squint to look around. It was quiet and still and, had he not trusted Cas so much, he would have thought that the angel was wrong. But this wasn’t something Cas would joke about and, just moments later, it was proven he had been right when around 30 angels landed in front of the house in a half circle around the two hunters. Dean squeezed the handle of his gun and took a small step forwards. 

“What do you want?” 

One of the angels, a woman with brown hair and cold eyes, stepped forward to put herself in front of the group. 

“We want those three abominations.” 

“Or what?” 

She smiled cruelly. 

“Or we’ll smite you and that pet angel of yours.” 

Before Dean could answer, a black blur hit the ground in front of him and Ce spread his wings out for a few seconds. Then he tucked them in behind his back and just stood there, staring at the angels. Seconds later, Elle landed next to him, her white wings laying neatly against her back. The angels clearly hesitated, glancing at each other. Elle took a deep breath. 

“Leave now, and we will spare you.”

Ce growled. 

“Please don’t leave. I’m starting to really have fun.” 

The angel at the front shook her head. 

“Abominations like you are not going to order the armies of heaven. You have no power over us. Now give us the demon boy, and surrender yourselves.” 

Dean huffed angrily. 

“Yeah. I’ve heard enough. Ce. Kill them.” 

The boy glanced back at him with a grin, before turning back to the angels and roaring. The energy blast hit the angels and, seconds later, they were just piles of ash on the ground. As soon as they were gone, Elle’s wings disappeared. 

“You two alright?” 

She nodded towards Dean, while Ce was watching him with a frown. Then he shifted back, his shoulders relaxing. 

“We’re fine.” 

“Then come on inside. You two need to rest.” 

The boy turned to Bobby. 

“I don’t need to rest.” 

“But you can come inside, right?” 

He smirked with amusement. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can.” 

They all walked inside the house and headed immediately to the living room. Elle frowned when she saw that it was empty. 

“Where are Sam and Castiel?” 

“They are with… Um… I’ll ask Cas to come back. Right. Cas? You guys can come back. It’s safe now.” 

Not even five seconds later, the couch reappeared. Sam was still sleeping calmly on it, with Cas standing close to his head. Next to Cas was Gabriel. As soon as he saw him, Ce, who had flopped down onto the armchair, flew up to his feet, shifting automatically. 

“You.” 

Gabriel smiled. 

“Hi, kid. How are you?” 

Ce growled. 

“How am I?! How dare you ask that?! How dare you show up here?!” 

He glanced down to Sam’s sleeping form and his red eyes seemed to start glowing. 

“Get away from him.” 

The archangel frowned. 

“What?” 

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” 

And, with a great roar, he sent Gabriel flying into the wall, the archangel crashing into it and slipping down onto the floor, a pained gasp leaving him. Before anyone could react to that, a whimper was heard from the couch. As everyone turned there, they noticed Sam’s terrified eyes looking at Ce. 

“Blood. You’re dripping in blood.” 

Everyone turned to where Ce was standing in complete stillness.

Chapter 11: I'm Sorry

“So much blood.” 

Ce seemed to snap out of it and shifted back to his human form, stepping back a bit. 

“I’m not here to hurt you.” 

Even though Dean could still understand what was being said, by the odd tone to it, as well as the looks both Cas and Gabriel gave Ce, he guessed it wasn’t enochian. Sam shivered. 

“You sound like THEM.” 

Ce nodded. 

“I can’t speak enochian. Just this demonic dialect of it. The wrong one. I can understand you though. I know you heard them all around the cage. But I’m not like them. I won’t hurt you, I won’t taunt you. If you let me, I will protect you.” 

Sam tilted his head, his breathing having evened out a bit and his shoulders relaxing. 

“Protect me? From what?” 

“Angels are hunting you. I’ve stopped them twice, and I won’t hesitate to do it again. And I will protect you from the golden one.” 

Sam glanced to where Gabriel was watching them from the floor. 

“Why from him? I trust him.” 

Ce nodded. 

“So did I.” 

They looked at each other for a few seconds, before Sam tilted his head. 

“Can you shift?” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to scare you again.” 

“You said you’d protect me. So I can’t be scared of you.” 

The boy nodded and shifted, this time more slowly. First his wings appeared. Then the talons and fangs. His eyes shifted last, the red in them not glowing as it had before. Sam looked at them for a few seconds, his eyes flying around him, before nodding. 

“You’re fine.” 

Ce nodded too and then shifted back. Then he turned to Gabriel, most probably noticing that the angel had stood up. Seeing the way he was ready to fight, Bobby quickly stepped in. 

“Alright. Elle, Dean. You two go shopping for food. Cas. I left a book on the table in the kitchen. Take it and give it to Jody. She has been researching a case not far from here for some time now. Come on. Move.” 

Seeing his expression, Elle quickly grabbed Dean and disappeared. Seconds later, Cas disappeared as well. 

“Good. Ce. You’re with me. Gabriel. You stay with Sam.” 

It looked like the boy was going to protest but the glare he got from Bobby made him smirk and nod. 

“Fine.” 

Then he glanced at Gabriel. 

“If you hurt him, I won’t hesitate to kill you. And I’ll make sure it’s permanent.” 

And he walked out of the room, heading towards the kitchen. Bobby sighed. 

“I don’t know what he told you, but you need to talk to him.” 

And, without another word, he walked away. He headed to the kitchen where Ce was sitting on the edge of the table. There was a challenge in his eyes, but Bobby just shook his head. 

“If you wanna piss me off, you’d have to do better than that. Sam and Dean used to sit on the table until they outgrew it.” 

He put on the coffee and leaned against the counter. 

“You good with talking?” 

Ce considered him, before nodding slowly. 

“You’re something different, human.” 

Bobby gave him a small glare. 

“You’ve gotta stop talking like that.” 

At that, the boy suddenly tensed up. Bobby just smirked. 

“Not telling you what to do. It’s a suggestion to help you out. Humans don’t like to be reminded that they are just human.” 

“I don’t care about what they think.” 

“What do you care about? Except for Elle?” 

Almost immediately, the boy answered:

“Nothing.” 

“Nothing? I get your father. If he abandoned you, you wouldn’t feel any closeness to him. What about your mother?” 

Ce snorted. 

“She abandoned us as well. First when she left us with the angel, and then after he left us in that temple. She had every chance in the world to come and get us. She didn’t. She didn’t care about us, why would I care about her?” 

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, before Bobby nodded towards the sink. 

“Wash the dishes.” 

Ce jumped off the table. 

“I’d rather fly a few laps around the house.” 

Bobby’s eyebrows rose. 

“Fly around the house? Or hover over Gabriel and Sam?” 

And, when the boy glared at him, he shook his head. 

“Don’t try with me, boy. I’ve had to deal with Sam’s anger issues when he was a kid, and then his sulking and constant defiance when he was a teen, as well as Dean’s inability to fully express what he was feeling unless he was destroying something while doing it. I can see right through all that bullshit of yours. Life treated you unfairly so you’re lashing out. Your sister is treating you with kid gloves, trying to deal with you with kindness. I’m guessing the people in the temple treated you like a deity, doing all you told them to and worshipping the ground you walked on. But that’s not what you want, right? You don’t want anyone to coddle you. You need orders. You need to be put in line and kept there. You need the stability that comes with it. That’s why you stayed. You killed those last angels and could have left after. Elle wouldn’t have stopped you. Sam was safe and that’s what she wanted. But you stayed, because you saw something in Dean that you crave, didn’t you? Someone who wouldn’t be scared to tell you to do something. Someone who wouldn’t shy away from the violence you were used to. Someone who would tell you to kill. Did I get it wrong anywhere?” 

Ce’s eyes were glowing red, but he hadn’t moved from his place next to the table. He was completely tense, his hands balled into fists. Bobby nodded slowly. 

“If you stay, I’ll talk with Dean for you.” 

The boy growled, but still stayed where he was. 

“As I thought. Now wash the dishes.” 

There was another growl, before Ce suddenly turned away from Bobby and marched over to the sink. As he started filling it with water and sorting the dishes, his movements stayed angry. Behind his back, Bobby gave him a sad smile and then started making coffee. 

 

*****

 

“Why does he hate you so much?” 

Gabriel, who was sitting with his back against the armchair, looked up at Sam. The young man was sitting cross-legged on the couch, his head tilted. 

“I left him.” 

“Why? Don’t you care about him?” 

The angel shook his head quickly. 

“Of course I care about him. He’s my son. But… I don’t know how to reach him. Even then, when he was so young, there was something wrong with him. I could never put my finger on it, but there was something dark in him. I didn’t know what to do, so I left him.” 

Silence fell over the room, before Sam suddenly slipped off the couch and, very slowly, crawled closer to Gabriel. Seeing his movements, Gabriel stilled. Sam sat down next to him, his eyes fixed on his wings. 

“He couldn’t change into you. He did it once. But he couldn't keep the illusion up. He said that it hurt him. He was so sad that day. He tied me to the bed and was almost gentle with me. He was nice. The next day, he was furious and strung me up and kept breaking my bones, forcing me to count how many he had broken. He got to almost all of them. Then he mended them and did it twice more, before he let me sleep in the bed. He said that I had done a good job.” 

His voice held an almost proud tone when he said the last sentence, and Gabriel looked at him with sadness. 

“I’m sorry, Sam.” 

Sam’s head tilted. 

“Why? He was always nice to me when he was thinking about you.” 

“I’m sorry I ever put it in your head to throw him down there. If I hadn’t told you anything, you would never have ended up in the cage.” 

After a few seconds of just watching him, Sam sighed and put a hand on his elbow. 

“Nick was a weak vessel. He was burning up. He would have come up with something to get me instead. And I wouldn’t know what to do. The world would go under. You made sure it didn’t. And you came back, you’re here to help us now. You’re here.” 

They heard a flutter of wings and Cas sat down next to Gabriel on the floor. Sam tensed up for a split second, before relaxing again. 

“Jody says ‘hi’. She’ll come by when she can get some time.”

Chapter 12: I Saw What Happened

Elle and Dean landed in the kitchen, making Bobby jump slightly at the sudden intrusion. Dean grinned at him and put a few bags on the counter. Then he glanced over to where Ce was still angrily washing the last of the dishes, soft growls escaping him from time to time. Before Dean could say anything, Bobby grabbed his shoulder and pulled him out of the kitchen. 

“I’ll explain everything later. Go back in there and tell him to put the groceries away.” 

Dean frowned at him, but then nodded and walked back into the kitchen. 

“Ce.” 

The boy turned his head towards him, his fangs showing as he growled. Ignoring the unease he felt at that, Dean raised his eyebrows. 

“Put the groceries away. Then you can finish washing the dishes.” 

There was another growl, but Ce still dried his hands off and walked over to the bags to start taking the food out. 

“And keep yourself under control. Last time you used your power you spoiled all the food we had.” 

The growl quieted a bit, going over to a soft rumble. Elle was just watching the scene with wide eyes, clearly shocked that her brother was listening to a human. It looked like she wanted to say something, but stopped herself and walked out of the kitchen, muttering something about checking on Sam. Bobby looked at the boy for a few seconds, before grabbing Dean’s elbow and pulling him out of the kitchen again. This time, he pulled him all the way out of the house onto the porch. As soon as they stopped, Dean frowned at him. 

“What’s going on? Everything alright with Sam?” 

Bobby nodded. 

“Yeah. Sam’s just fine. Gabriel and Cas have kept him occupied, he seems a bit more alert and… well, HERE, since Gabriel came back. We need to talk about Ce.” 

He sat down heavily in the chair and looked up at Dean, who had leaned against the railing of the porch. 

“Do you remember Jason?” 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up at the sudden change of subject. Still, he nodded. 

“Yeah. Old Jay. Everyone in town was scared of him.” 

“And do you know why?” 

Dean shrugged. 

“He was angry and volatile. Could snap any second. I remember one time when Buck accidentally shot an airgun next to him and Old Jay beat him up so bad that Buck ended up in a coma for a week. I’ve seen quite a few monsters by then, but none of them scared me as much as Jay did that day. It took five cops to finally get him under control and get him away from there.” 

“Ever thought about why he was like that?” 

“He had anger issues.” 

Bobby shook his head, a sad look appearing on his face. 

“Jason was an army vet. He had been in the middle of heavy combat several times. Things like that stick with you. He would sometimes slip back to a time when he was in the military. He would get violent, because he would believe he was among enemies. PTSD. If you remember, Keith was the only one who wasn’t afraid to come near him when he was angry. Keith had been in the military as well. A captain. Outranked Jason. Was the only one who could get through to him. All  it took was him barking out a few orders, and Jason would calm down. Because that was what he needed. He didn’t need the calm of everyday life. He needed orders. He needed the war.” 

After a few seconds, Dean frowned. 

“Sam has PTSD. That’s clear. But what does this have to do with Ce?” 

“Dean. We don’t know how old they are. For all we know, the twins could be hundreds of years old. And I’m willing to bet all I have on Ce going through something bad. He won’t answer well to kindness, but he seems to answer to orders. Especially from you.” 

“Why me?” 

“You told him to kill. You didn’t hesitate to tell him to kill. You’re not scared of him. He needs that. Needs someone who can deal with him.” 

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Dean thinking it all through. In the end, he nodded. 

“Alright. I’ll deal with Ce. What about Gabriel?” 

This time it was Bobby’s time to frown. 

“What about him? He’s good with Sam.” 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that he was suddenly brought back out of nowhere and just happened to find us now that his kids have too? And why is he so good with Sam?” 

Bobby sighed. 

“Dean. I know you are worried, but this is something good. Sam is comfortable with him. Why look more into it than we need to?” 

Dean tilted his head. 

“You know, I don’t often call you out. But don’t you think it’s a bit of hypocrisy? You trust Gabriel, who has screwed us over before, over Ce, who has protected us several times now.” 

The old man stood up, a curious expression on his face. 

“You can’t tell me you actually TRUST Ce.” 

“Yeah, I can!” 

Dean’s voice rose and Bobby’s eyes widened a bit. 

“I can, because I see where he’s coming from. I understand holding so much anger and hate inside yourself that you don’t care what you have to do to let it out. Don’t care who gets hurt in the process. I get what it’s like to feel abandoned, alone, unable to do ANYTHING! I know what it’s like to want to hurt, and kill, and torture, just to get some relief from the anger. I understand him. So yeah. I’m gonna trust him over a deadbeat father who left his kids and didn’t give a shit about what happened to them.” 

And, with that, he marched back into the house. In the kitchen he was met with Ce’s shocked stare. His eyes were brown again and the fangs were gone. It looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself when Dean just went past him and into the living room. There he stopped. Sam was on the ground, pushed into the corner. He was shaking and whimpering, his words so mashed up that Dean couldn’t understand what he was saying. Gabriel was sitting next to Sam, rubbing his shoulder. Elle was crouching in front of him, holding onto his struggling hands. Cas was standing a few steps away from them and, when he noticed Dean entering the room, turned to him. 

“Sam heard you yelling and got scared. Elle is too drained to get into his head. Gabriel doesn’t know if he’d be able to without hurting him more.” 

The angel’s voice was full of helplessness and Dean understood him. As he stared at his shaking and crying brother, he felt helpless as well. For his entire life, he had taken care of Sam. He had always known what to do. How to help him. How to keep him safe. Now, he couldn’t do anything. Bobby slowly entered the living room, he too stopping when he noticed the state of Sam. Before he could say anything, Ce pushed past them, fully shifted. With one small blast he sent Gabriel flying away from Sam, the angel landing on the other side of the room. A gentle push made Elle stand up and back away, before Ce crouched down in front of the young man. He grabbed his wrists and squeezed them. 

“Sam. Look at me.” 

Sam just whimpered pitifully and tried to curl up even more. With a sigh, Ce transferred both his wrist into one hand and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up. Dean noticed that, even though his movements were rough, he made sure his talons didn’t hurt Sam. As soon as their eyes met, Sam flinched. Ce just held onto him. 

“What do you see?” 

When Sam didn’t answer, he squeezed his wrists, this time pricking him with the talons. That made Sam finally answer. 

“Demon.” 

To Dean’s shock, Ce nodded. 

“Yes. Demon. Where?” 

“The Cage.” 

This time, Ce shook his head. 

“But he wouldn’t let them in, would he? He wouldn’t let them hurt you. You were his. His to hurt, his to torture, his to fuck. You were his and he wouldn’t let the demons into the Cage. He would blast all the ones that came too close. They could stay outside, they could taunt you and watch, but they would never be allowed to come inside. He'd make sure of that. Right?” 

Sam, whose eyes were wide open, nodded slowly. 

“Yes. His. I’m his. His to do with as he pleases.” 

“Exactly. Now. Look at me. What do you see?” 

“Demon.” 

“Where?” 

Sam’s eyes swept over the other people in the room and he shook all over. 

“Cage. He… He promised to not look like Dean anymore. He promised. He…” 

Ce cut him off sharply. 

“He lied. You know that. But there was one thing he never lied about. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch you. You were his. His to play with. He would kill anyone who tried to touch you. Come on, Sam. You’re smart. He would never let them into the Cage. This doesn’t make sense. Not even to you, and you know that. So tell me the truth. What do you see?” 

“Demon.” 

There was a bit more clarity in his voice and eyes now, and Ce nodded slowly. 

“Where?” 

“Bobby’s house.” 

With a sigh, Ce finally let go of Sam’s chin and his shoulders slumped a bit. 

“Good.” 

He let go of Sam’s wrists and stood up, shifting and turning to Elle. 

“Heal him.” 

Then he marched out of the room and they heard the front door open and close. Seeing the way Sam would glance to him and then quickly look away, Dean decided to leave his brother to the archangel and nephilim who had moved closer to him as soon as Ce had left. It wasn’t like he could do so much here. With another shot of anger at how little he could help his brother, he turned to Cas and tilted his head towards Bobby. Thankfully, the angel understood immediately and put his hand on Bobby’s shoulder. 

“Jody had a few more questions about the research you sent her.” 

Bobby nodded, he too understanding that it would be best to leave Sam alone. As soon as they were gone, Dean left as well, walking out of the house. His legs steered him towards the backyard, where he was fully prepared to trash a few cars, but stopped himself when he noticed Ce sitting on top of one of them. He was fully shifted, but his wings were hanging limply behind him, the tips of them touching the ground. Dean walked over to him and leaned against the car. There was something that had been bothering him after what had just happened. Something Ce had said. 

“How do you know what happened around and in the Cage?” 

Ce didn’t look at him or even acknowledge that he had spoken for a few minutes. Then he sighed and shook his head. 

“I’m older than I look. Older than Elle, even.” 

Dean frowned. 

“Aren’t you twins?” 

He nodded. 

“We are. But she spent her entire life on earth. I spent quite some time in hell. I saw what happened to Sam in hell.”

Chapter 13: I Stopped Caring

Dean’s head snapped up to him but, noticing the way the boy was staring straight ahead, he turned away from him again, facing the same direction he was. They stared at the sky for a few seconds, before Dean felt calm enough to ask:

“Why didn’t you do anything?” 

“Because I had stopped caring by that point. I… Singer is wrong. It’s not that I need someone to keep me in line. Orders are what I’m used to, but I can live without them. I’m just tired of… I was born in 375.” 

Dean felt his eyes widening at that but, not wanting to discourage the boy he just kept quiet, keeping his eyes on the sky. 

“After the angel left us in that temple, I decided to embrace what I was. A monster. The people in the temple treated me like a god, and I went with it. Elle chose to look human. To live among them. I stayed at the temple. Ruled the people there with fear and threats of violence. I accepted sacrifices. I killed the ones who opposed me. Until I had enough of it. I left. I traveled the world, wreaking havoc wherever I could. Lived many years with the vikings. Fought their wars and followed their kings. Until 1208. I met a young mongol then. A man with goals and conviction beyond anything I’ve ever seen before. Well except for… But that doesn’t matter. As I said, I met a young mongol.” 

This time, Dean couldn’t stop himself. 

“Wait. You’re not talking about Genghis Khan, are you?” 

Ce let out a huff of amusement. 

“Yeah. Him. He was brilliant. Where many others have always shied away from me in the past, fallen at my feet, he was different. He wasn’t scared of me. He forced me onto my knees, made me bow and humiliate myself before him. And I let him. Anyone else, I would have killed. But there was something about him that made me obey him. I stayed by his side for years. He rewarded my loyalty and punished disobedience. Then, one day, he sent me away. Told me to leave. He had a feeling that something was coming and he said he didn’t want me to be caught up in it. A few days later, I found out he was dead. I never looked into how he died. I never went back to get revenge for him.  But he had gotten me addicted to the feeling of winning. He made me fall in love with the war, the violence, the blood. I wandered around after that, until I ended up in France. They were fighting a war and I missed my life in Mongolia. For the next 100 years, I fought for them. A demon out on the fields of battle. I didn’t use my powers. I didn’t shift. I liked just letting my talons out and ripping into the bodies around me. It reminded me of Him. The great Khan. After the war was over, I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. So, after making sure Elle was fine, I went to hell. Spent the first few years among the demons, torturing and fighting, until I found myself close to the Cage. And that was when he noticed me. The devil. He said he could see what I was. He started teaching me how to better torture. How to be an even bigger monster than before. I took it all in. The wars had damaged me, sure, but it was my time in the Cage that corrupted my grace. It wasn’t until he asked me to bust him out of the Cage that I realized he had been using me. I wanted to kill him then and there, but I stopped myself and just left. I wanted to stay in hell and find Khan, but I forced myself to leave. I had stayed in the Cage for so long that I thought eternities would have passed on earth. But, when I came back it was just 1778. The American Revolution pulled me towards it, so I found my violence and carnage there. Then I flew around again, just staying in motion until I met another young man with ambitions that rivaled Khan’s. Napoleon Bonaparte.” 

Dean, who had been fully engrossed in the story, twitched slightly. 

“Napoleon. Next you’ll tell me you met Hitler.” 

Ce huffed out another amused breath. 

“That was years later. In hell.” 

As Dean was forcing himself to stay still and not look up at the young man, not break the calm that had fallen over them in spite of the terrors Ce was talking about, he started to wonder how the boy was still so mentally stable. 

“I helped Napoleon as much as I could, until he failed. Then I moved on. The Civil War wasn’t much fun for me. I liked the carnage, don’t get me wrong. But having a small child come up to you and ask if you were a dark angel, and if you were there to take her away because her white owners had told her that if she didn’t obey them a demon would come for her was too much. Even for me. I didn’t even think about who was on what side. I just slaughtered every white person I came into contact with. I didn’t give a damn about who they were. I just couldn’t get the image of that girl out of my mind. After that, I went back to hell. I found Khan. He let me stay with him for some time. Torture and maim for him again. Then he told me to leave. Said I didn’t belong there. That there was more for me than the endless pain there. So I left. Just in time for the first World War. It was hell on earth and I was in my element. I joined a small group of soldiers and enjoyed their company. And then they were all blown up right in front of me. So I stopped trying to find the comradery I had with Khan. I started killing and slaughtering without any thought about which side people were on. I had so much blood on my hands after that war that I didn’t think I could ever wash it off. And then I met her.” 

Something in his voice changed and Dean chanced a glance up at him. The boy was staring straight ahead, but his eyes were slightly glazed over and there was a soft smile on his face. 

“Ironically, her name was Grace. She was a young nurse who had ended up in France after the war. She was beautiful. Golden hair and bright blue eyes. She looked like an angel should. She told me one day that she wanted to go home. Back to England. I transformed in front of her and told her I could take her there. I expected screaming, tears, maybe fainting. But she just grabbed my hand and told me that I was still me. That she still loved me. I took her back to England. We settled down. I told her everything about me, and she accepted it. She didn’t use me for my powers like Khan or Napoleon had done. She didn’t try to manipulate me. She just accepted me and loved me for who I was. And then the war came. She said that she wanted to help. She wanted to do some good. I took her to France, then Italy, then Spain. And then she found out about the Camps. And she said that she wouldn’t be able to rest until she had helped those people get free. So we went to Poland. There was a group of people, they had this crazy idea to take over the camp from the inside. They just needed someone on the inside to give them information. I told them I would do it. They said ‘no’. I didn’t look the part. With her blonde hair and blue eyes, Grace was perfect. I begged her not to do it. She said she had to. That I would let her go if I really loved her. She went in as a German officer. She was supposed to be back that night or the next morning. That night, I couldn’t take it anymore. I transformed and flew over the Camp. I heard screams from there, but that wasn’t anything new. The next morning, when she didn’t come back, I flew over the Camp again. I saw her body laying in the pile of the others, ready to be burned. I flew down and grabbed her. I didn’t care about the others, I didn’t care about the mission, I didn’t care about the dead around me. All I cared about was that she was gone. That, with all the power I had, I couldn’t bring her back. I flew away. I took her home. Back to England. Her brother buried her, and then told me to get the hell away from their family. I understood. I went back to check on Elle, before fully letting go. Korea, Vietnam, any other war or fight I could find. I went there and raised hell. But then, one day, I stopped. I had enough of the violence. I had enough of fighting someone else’s fights. Of fighting war after war. And then I heard about the Apocalypse and got back to Elle. The angel found us and put me to sleep before I could even think about killing him. When I woke up again, I convinced Elle to stay out of the fight. Told her that this wasn’t our war.” 

He snorted. 

“Coming from someone who had never cared if the war he fought in was his, it was kinda hypocritical. But the important thing was that she listened. After the Apocalypse was over, I left Elle and went down to hell again. Spent some years with Khan. Tried to figure out why I didn’t feel any joy when I hurt others anymore. Why I was so numb. Then I went closer to the Cage. I made sure they didn’t see me, but I saw all that happened. I saw what he did to your brother. And I didn’t care. Back in the day I would have. Just like I had with Rag… with Khan and his children, that little black girl, Napoleon’s Josephine. But after Grace, something died in me. When I saw Elle enter hell, I put up barriers around the Cage. Made sure she couldn’t get into it. I spent hundreds of years listening to Sam’s screams, begging, crying. And I didn’t care. Khan found me shortly before Castiel came down to get Sam. He told me to leave. To go back to the living. I didn’t want to but, deep down, I was still that stupid fool who had followed him like a dog. So I left. Came back to earth. And now I have to live with all of this again and I’m so fucking tired.” 

“Tired of what?” 

“Of everything reminding me of the past. I look at that angel, and I think of how he left us. I look at Singer, and I see all those commanders who thought they could control me. I look at Castiel, and I see all those people who desperately tried to hold onto the hope in the middle of a battlefield. I look at your brother, and I see thousands of soldiers shaking around me because of the hell they had seen. I look at you, and I see a young Khan. The one I wanted to kneel before. The one I would have done anything for. I see the drive and ambition. The desperate need to protect the ones you care for. I see the family you have here and I’m reminded of Ra… Of someone I once knew. Of his family. ” 

Choosing to ignore the troubling comparison, Dean glanced up at him. 

“What about Grace? You ever see her?” 

Ce closed his eyes, his voice lowering into a whisper. 

“All the time. Everywhere. She never leaves.” 

“Well, you helped us. You’ve protected us several times now. You helped Sam today when no one else could. Maybe you’re not as bad as you think you are. Just don’t listen to Bobby. As smart as he is, he doesn’t understand this.” 

He pushed off of the car and started heading inside, the anger he had felt before now being completely gone. He felt exhausted, and he had only been standing there, listening. A few steps away from the car, he stopped and turned back to Ce. 

“And Ce?” 

The young man turned around slightly, his expression still oddly vulnerable. 

“I know it might not mean much coming from me. And I know you might not believe it yourself. But you’re capable of a change. You are changing. The fact that you left the wars proves it. And Grace would have been proud of who you are today.” 

And, without another word, he headed back into the house. Bobby and Elle were in the kitchen, cooking. The girl gave him a sad smile as he passed and he nodded at her. 

“He’s fine. Give him some time.” 

Elle’s head lowered and she went back to cutting vegetables. He continued on to the library, where Gabriel and Cas were leaning over an old book. Cas glanced up at him and nodded towards the living room. 

“Sam’s reading. He wanted us to leave him.” 

With a sigh, Dean walked past them and into the living room. Sam was curled up on the floor with his back against the couch and a book in his lap. He glanced up at Dean when he entered and most probably noticed his exhausted expression because he inched a bit to the side. Taking the invitation, Dean flopped down next to him and leaned his head on the seat, closing his eyes. 

“Where did we go so wrong, Sammy? What the hell happened?” 

After a few seconds, he felt Sam scoot closer to him and then felt his head resting on his shoulder. Sam sat like that for a moment, before moving  even closer to him. 

“He used to say that it was because we stopped them. That if we didn’t, we would both be in heaven right now.” 

“Somehow, that doesn’t sound that appealing.” 

“At least we have each other.” 

He was surprised at the clarity in Sam’s voice, but didn’t have the strength to open his eyes and look at him. 

“Yeah. At least we have each other.”

Chapter 14: I WON'T LET YOU!

When Dean woke up, he was laying on the couch. The house was silent and, except for a small lamp in the corner of the room, completely dark. Even outside the windows was dark and Dean frowned. 

“You’ve been asleep for a few hours.” 

He turned to where Elle had pushed one of the armchairs closer to the lamp and had a book open in her lap. 

“Where is Sam?” 

She gave him a calming smile. 

“He is asleep upstairs. We were worried that you two would get uncomfortable so dad carried Sam to a bedroom upstairs and is staying in his room in case he has nightmares. Bobby went to sleep an hour after that. Cas is in the kitchen and Ce is patrolling outside.” 

She smiled softly. 

“Thank you, Dean.” 

Slowly, Dean sat up and tilted his head. 

“For what?” 

“Ce. He acts like he’s well but, in reality, he’s broken. Has been ever since dad left us. And it’s not just the wars, because I fully believe he would have dealt with those without any trauma. But it’s how quickly he had to grow up. He had to step up and take care of me, even though he is just a few minutes older than me. He has been broken since he was a child.” 

She shook her head. 

“Thank you for not judging him too hastily. Thank you for giving him a chance.” 

Dean smiled. 

“Well, if we’re doing this now, I wanted to thank you as well. For keeping us safe in that motel. And for helping Sam.” 

“I would like to try fixing a few more of his memories tomorrow. Dad healed Sam, so I had a chance to fully recharge. If you’re up to it, that is.” 

Dean nodded. 

“Yeah. If we can help him in any way, I’m in.” 

“After breakfast then. Go to sleep, Dean. With Ce outside, we are safe.” 

“I know.” 

Then he laid down again and closed his eyes. Before he could fall asleep, he heard Elle singing softly. With his eyes closed, he laid there and listened to her singing about, from what he guessed, her brother. 

“I know a man from a fallen place

Who still walks in a field of graves

His hands are stained 

His eyes are open

He’s a shell of a different man

Looking down on a boy

Already broken.”

He felt slight sadness, as well as anger towards Gabriel. If he hadn’t left his children, Ce’s life would have been different.

“There’s a ticking underneath his feet

There’s a trench where his soul should be

And in the night

He hears explosions

He cuts deals with the devil all day

Running far from the boy 

Already broken.”  

He heard soft steps and, without opening his eyes, realized that Ce had came inside the living room and stopped near the doorway. 

“They say no noose can hang him

They say no grave can hold him

He’s like a storm

On a still ocean

With every gun at his head

He never fears his own death

Can’t break a man 

Already broken.” 

And maybe that was why Ce was so good at protecting them. Because he wasn’t scared of anything. He couldn’t be intimidated. He was broken. 

“In between this life and death

Is a razor-wire fence

That’s where he’s been 

And were he’s going

He’s a ghost of a desolate land

He’s a wandering man

Already broken.”

He heard Ce moving a bit closer to them, stopping somewhere near the other armchair. 

“There’s a ticking underneath his feet

There’s a war always on his street

His hands are stained

In crimes unspoken

He cuts deals with blood-stained hand

He’s a lawless man

Already broken.”

Ce sat down on the armchair and, from the creaking of it, Dean decided the young man must’ve leant back. 

“They say no noose can hang him

They say no grave can hold him

He’s like a storm

On a still ocean

With every gun at his head

He never fears his own death

Can’t break a man 

Already broken.” 

An amused snort came from Ce, and Dean got suddenly curious if it was even possible to kill the twins, especially the young man. As Elle continued, her voice got slightly softer. 

“They say he felt a moment of Grace

For an hour in a different place

And like a ghost

Her eyes were open

And he felt like a different man

When she sang to the boy

Already broken.” 

Silence stretched over the room, before Ce asked silently:

“Are you angry at me?” 

“No. I’m proud of you.” 

Without another sound, Ce stood up and left. As Elle started humming softly, Dean let sleep take him away again. 

 

*****

 

When he woke up again, it was late morning. Elle was still in her chair, still reading. Sam and a human Ce were sitting on the floor, playing chess in silence. From the kitchen, he heard Bobby, Cas and Gabriel talking. As he sat up, Sam glanced back at him and smiled slightly. He seemed to feel better, his eyes clearer than they had been the day before. It was something Dean had been noticing more and more. Whenever Sam was feeling better, his eyes would get this clear and sharp look, as if he had been thinking hard about something. When the flashbacks took over, his eyes would get a more cloudy look. 

“Who’s winning?” 

Ce, who had a frown on his face, growled softly. Dean felt slightly calmer when Sam didn’t react to it. 

“Him. I can’t get the hang of this.” 

Sam gave him a slight smile. 

“You’re getting better.” 

That earned him another soft growl that Sam seemed to be amused by. Dean glanced over to Elle. He made sure they had eye-contact and then jerked his head towards Sam, while raising his eyebrows at the same time. Her smile fell immediately and she shook her head. With a heavy sigh, Dean slipped down from the couch and sat down next to his brother. 

“Ce. Could you give us a moment?” 

The boy must’ve noticed something in his expression, because he nodded immediately, stood up and left. Sam turned to Dean and tilted his head. 

“Is something wrong? Did I do something? What…?” 

“No, Sammy. You did nothing wrong. I just wanted to talk.” 

He waited until his brother nodded, and then continued. 

“Do you remember what Elle did to help you through the flashback you had? The one about the water?” 

He did his best to keep his voice calm so as to not trigger any new flashbacks. Sam flinched slightly, before nodding. 

“Yes. I remember. You went in and saw.” 

Dean gave him a smile. 

“Yeah. We saw what happened. But Elle was also able to do something to help you deal with the memory, right?” 

After slight hesitation, Sam nodded again. 

“We would like to do it again. Elle will put you to sleep, and then we’ll go in and try to help you a bit more.” 

He stopped when he noticed that Sam’s breathing was getting more and more panicked. 

“Sammy?” 

“I don’t want you to see. You can’t see more. You CAN’T! I WON’T LET YOU! YOU CAN’T!” 

Dean leaned back, shocked. Ever since Sam had came back, he had never raised his voice like that. The pure fury that was there was underlined with fear and he didn’t know what to do. He had learned how to deal with a scared and quiet Sam. This sudden outburst left him not knowing what to do. Before he could figure it out, he heard soft steps approaching and Gabriel crouched down in front of Sam. 

“Sam. Look at me.” 

He waited until Sam’s eyes met his and then he smiled. 

“I get why you are scared. I get why you wouldn’t want Dean and Cas to see more of your memories. But, whatever happened down there, I can assure you that they will not hate you. I doubt Dean could ever hate you. They just want to help. Can you let them?” 

Sam was looking at him with his eyes wide open, before leaning forward, putting his forehead against Gabriel’s shoulder. 

“I’m scared.” 

“I know, kiddo. But you’re safe now. No one will hurt you anymore. They would have to go through all of us in this house, as well as that beast flying around outside. And trust me when I say that no one would get through him. You’re safe here. You’re protected. You’re home.” 

After a few seconds, in which Dean just stared at Gabriel in pure shock, Sam glanced up at the angel. 

“Why did you come back now?” 

Gabriel bumped their foreheads together. 

“Why don’t you let Dean and Elle help, and then we can sit down somewhere and talk about it.” 

Sam looked like he wanted to roll his eyes, but he stopped himself and turned to Dean again. 

“Alright.”

Chapter 15: I'm Not A Memory

Sam was laying on the couch, his eyes closed and his breathing even. Everyone else was standing around the room, looking at Elle. 

“Alright. We can try to go through more of Sam’s memories this time. Last time we did it, I had to use too much energy on not letting myself get swept up in his mind. This time, I have a tether on the outside, so I can put all my energy into healing.” 

Ce frowned. 

“Earlier you asked me to patrol the grounds and fight off anyone who might try attacking. Now you want me to be your tether as well? Aren’t you asking for too much?” 

“We both know that it won’t even take a fraction of your powers.”

He nodded slowly, a smirk appearing on his face. 

“Just wondering if you really trust me not to betray all of you.” 

“You won’t betray us.” 

Red eyes turned towards Dean. 

“What makes you so sure?” 

“You said I remind you of HIM. And you would never betray him, right?” 

After a few seconds, Ce snorted with amusement. 

“Playing dirty I see. I like you more and more, Winchester.” 

And, with that, he left the house. Elle looked between the door and Dean, before taking charge once again. 

“Alright. Dad. I will need you to keep him in this dreamless sleep all the time. He might start fighting it once we go in, but it’s very important that he doesn’t wake up. If he does, he could do damage both to us and himself. Mr. Singer. You just keep an eye on everything in the room. I doubt anything could get through my brother but, for safety reasons, keep your gun ready.” 

Once everyone had nodded, she pointed towards the other couch and Dean and Cas sat down on it. Then she sat down next to Sam’s couch and put her hand on his temple. Dean watched the way her eyes started shining gold, before everything went black. When he opened his eyes again, he was back in the long corridor. He looked around at the doors, before turning to where Cas and Elle were standing next to each other. 

“Where do we go now?” 

Cas tilted his head, glancing around. Seeing that, Elle smiled sadly. 

“You can feel it too, right?” 

Dean looked between them with confusion. 

“Feel what?” 

“Sadness and pain. Some doors are so full of it.” 

There was a sadness in Cas’ voice that Dean had never heard before. The angel took a deep breath and then walked a bit ahead of them, before stopping again and nodding towards the door he was standing in front of. 

“I think we should start here.” 

Elle and Dean joined him and, after one last glance at the other two, Elle opened the door. As soon as he saw what was inside, Dean almost threw up. Sam was naked, on his hands and knees. In front of him was a metal bowl, full of some brown and red sludge that Dean didn’t even want to consider what it could be. Behind him the wall was covered with sharp spikes in various lengths that were digging painfully into Sam’s feet and backside. They all watched in horror as Sam slowly lowered his head and put his face directly over the bowl. He closed his eyes and then lowered even more, until his mouth was touching the sludge and he could slurp some of the sludge inside. As soon as he did that, the wall seemed to move back a bit and the spikes left his body. Right as he swallowed, a small gagging noise building in the back of his throat, the wall moved back in place and he whimpered, his body shaking all over. 

“Stay here.” 

Without any hesitation, Elle marched into the room and, as she walked over to Sam, the wall seemed to move back again, the spikes shrinking in her presence. Sam, who had looked up when he heard her steps, now tilted his head. 

“You don’t look like him.” 

“I’m not him. I’m here to help.” 

She waved her hand and the spiked wall turned into a cushioned one. A sofa appeared in the corner of the room and on it were a couple of books. Then she reached out and put a hand on Sam’s cheek. Immediately, all the wounds disappeared and he was suddenly dressed in comfortable clothes. He looked up, his eyes wide in both surprise and fear. 

“He’ll be angry when he sees this.” 

Elle tilted her head a bit. 

“Sam. You know you’re not there anymore, right?” 

“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be? He would never let me leave.” 

With a sad smile, Elle straightened up and nodded towards the couch. 

“You’re safe in here, Sam. I promise you that.” 

And, without waiting for his answer, she walked out of the room and closed the door. After marking it with the golden circle, she finally looked at Dean and Cas. 

“This memory was from just around 30 or 40 years into his stay in the Cage. He wouldn’t believe me if I tried explaining more.” 

She gave the door one last glance and then started walking away from it. Dean and Cas exchanged a look before following her. They walked in silence for a few minutes, before Cas stopped with a frown. Dean immediately stepped closer to him. 

“What?” 

The angel turned towards one of the doors, his frown deepening. 

“I don’t understand. Every other door we’ve passed has a feeling of pain and sadness around it. Not this one. It holds calmness.” 

Elle, who had been watching the door as well, now shrugged and walked over to it. 

“Only one way to find out.” 

And she opened the door. They were met with the sight of what looked like a motel room. Sam was sitting on one of the beds, his nose buried in a book. When they opened the door, he glanced around, but then went back to his book. Dean glanced to Elle and Cas, but the two beings seemed just as confused as him. Suddenly what looked like a black shape stepped through one of the walls and materialized into the devil. Sam looked up at him immediately, worry clear in his eyes. 

“Do I have to leave?” 

“No, Sam. Not yet. You’ve been good lately, so you can stay a few more days. I was just making sure my brother hadn’t gotten to you.” 

He walked over to him and Sam immediately tilted his head back, baring his neck. 

“Not today, Sam. As much as I love it when you offer yourself to me, I don’t want your body today. Why don’t you read for me.” 

A small smile appeared on Sam’s face and he nodded, making himself more comfortable on the bed and starting to read out loud. Before either Cas or Dean could say anything, Elle stepped back and closed the door again. 

“I will not alter this memory. It brings him no pain.” 

“Is it wise to let him stay in a memory with L?” 

Elle nodded slightly. 

“It is. He isn’t scared of him in this one. It’s good if he remembers that he doesn’t have to be scared.” 

And she walked away. Cas put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. 

“Dean?” 

“This is what he was afraid of. Us seeing him actually being relaxed and almost happy in the Cage, and hating him for it.” 

“He had no choice. In the situation he was in, any kind of kindness would have made him agree to anything. Especially with how long he stayed there.” 

“You don’t have to explain it to me, Cas.” 

There was irritation in Dean’s voice, but he calmed down when he noticed the way the angel seemed genuinely worried. 

“I know this isn’t his fault. I understand that. I just wish he would understand that I don’t blame him for anything.” 

Before Cas could answer, Elle’s voice came from somewhere up ahead. 

“Guys. Something’s wrong with this one.” 

They both turned to where she was standing with her head slightly tilted, her eyes glued to a black door. As quickly as they could, they walked over there, Cas almost flinching when he stopped next to her. Elle glanced at him. 

“You feel it too, right?” 

He nodded. 

“Yes. It’s anger and darkness. And cold.” 

“Can we go in there?” 

The girl turned to Dean and shrugged slightly. 

“Honestly? I don’t know. This feels different than what the other doors feel like. But let’s try.” 

She stepped closer to the door and grabbed the handle. When nothing happened, she twisted it and opened the door. They were all shocked by what they saw inside. The room looked nice. There was a beautiful armchair standing in front of an open fire. Next to it was a low table with a glass of wine on it. There was a thick rug on the floor and even a window, covered in heavy curtains. In the chair, sat Lucifer. When the door opened, he looked up and grinned towards it. Dean glanced at Elle. 

“Can he see us?” 

“Of course I can. I’m not a memory, after all.” 

Dean’s hand went to where he normally had his gun, but realized quickly that he didn’t have it. Elle looked like she wanted to say something, before Lucifer raised his hand and moved it quickly. All of the sudden, the three of them felt themselves pulled inside the room, the door slamming shut behind them. Immediately, Dean noticed that the air inside the room seemed different, almost charged. He also felt a slight pressure on his chest and throat, making it slightly more difficult to breathe. He wasn’t choking, but it felt like the air was too thick to breathe. 

“How are you doing this?” 

Elle’s voice sounded slightly worried, and that in turn made Dean feel fear. If the girl was worried, then something was really wrong. Lucifer smirked. 

“Did you really think that getting Sam out would be that easy? That you could just get into the Cage, grab him and leave?” 

Cas frowned. 

“What do you mean?” 

“There were only two ways this could have ended. Either his body left and his soul stayed in the Cage, or you managed to get him all out, but something followed him out. I knew that the Beast’s sister had tried getting down there before, and there was a risk that he would get involved if he saw that Sam’s soul was left behind. So I decided to not interfere with Castiel’s attempts to get him back and instead let my consciousness follow with him. Admittedly, I don’t have enough power to take over his body. Yet, at least. But here, in his mind, I’m in charge.”

He snapped his fingers and a black tar seemed to seal off the door behind them. 

“And I won’t let you leave. I like his mind like this. Fractured and scared.” 

Dean had a split second to see Elle’s scared expression, before the girl grabbed his and Cas’ arms and looked upwards. 

“Ce. Get us out.” 

There was a flash of darkness and, when Dean could see again, he was back in Bobby’s living room. Immediately, he sprung to his feet and turned to where Sam was still asleep on the couch. As soon as he was sure his brother was alright, he turned to where Ce was checking over Elle. Her nose was bleeding and she was shaking, barely being able to stay on her feet. 

“What the hell was that?” 

The girl tilted her head towards Gabriel, her brother stepping away as the angel healed her, and then turned to Dean. 

“He had more power in Sam’s mind than he would ever have out in the real world. He is being fuelled by Sam. By his life force and energy. His fear. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t get rid of him. I couldn’t get him out.” 

Cas put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. 

“It wasn’t your fault. If anything, I should have been more careful when I got Sam out of hell.” 

“Neither of you are at fault for what happened.” 

Ce’s voice was full of hate and, after giving his sister one more look, he marched out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Dean’s eyes followed him, a sudden plan formulating in his head. Maybe there was something he could do for Sam. Maybe he wasn’t as useless as he thought he was. 

“I need some air.” 

He started heading towards the door, but stopped when he heard Cas’ voice. 

“Are you alright?” 

Turning back to the angel, he noticed the worry in his eyes and just shrugged. 

“After what we saw? I’m not sure. I need some air.” 

And he left the house, making sure to close the door behind himself. They didn’t have to know what he was planning. Especially since there was a big chance they would try to stop him. As he rounded the house, he almost smiled when he saw Ce sitting on the same car as before. He walked over to him and leaned against the car, looking up at the boy. 

“I have a plan.”

Chapter 16: I Should Be Dead

Notes:

Hi everyone!
I've noticed that I missed the Saturday uploads in the past two weeks so, as an apology, there will be en additional upload tomorrow, Tuesday.
Have a nice read.

Ce glanced down at him. Dean met his red stare without a flinch. 

“You’ve been to hell before, right? Several times.” 

The boy nodded. 

“And, correct me if I’m wrong, there are no limits to your powers.” 

This time, a small smile appeared on Ce’s face, his fangs peaking out for a few seconds. 

“I knew you were smarter than you look. Yeah. It’s true. I have yet to find a limit to what I can do. Being a tether to someone else, while also keeping a shield around this place and then going into Sam’s mind and past Lucifer should have drained me. It didn’t. Just looking like this.” 

He gestured towards his body, which looked human except for his red eyes and fangs. 

“This is a glamor. Mom said I was a nightmare to give birth to, wings, talons and all. I’m constantly using my powers to keep the glamor. It should make me weaker. But it doesn’t. Nothing does.” 

Dean nodded. 

“Good. You and I are going on a trip. Before the others notice we left.” 

Ce tilted his head. 

“A secret trip? I’m interested.” 

After making sure that none of the others had left the house, Dean moved closer to Ce and lowered his voice. 

“You and I are going to hell where, after I talk to them, you’re going to destroy the Cage and everyone in it.” 

The boy’s eyebrows shot up. 

“I know I said that my powers have no limits, but this could be too much.” 

Dean frowned. 

“You sound worried. I didn’t know you were capable of that.” 

“Look. I know I can go down to the Cage and back without any trouble. But the Cage is much older than me. Even if I can do this, which I think I can, I could need some time to recharge. That would mean you having to stay in hell until I can move you.”

“You saw what happened in Sam’s mind. The only way I see of getting him free from Lucifer is to get rid of him. And, as far as I know, you’re the only one around here who can do that.” 

After a few seconds, Ce sighed. 

“How did you know?” 

“Huh?” 

“How did you know that my powers don’t have limits?” 

“Because you’re still alive after everything you went through.” 

Ce took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Alright. Close your eyes, and keep them closed. I’m not sure how you will react to the flight and, even though I don’t mind gore, I would rather not have you throw up all over me.” 

Remembering the slight nausea that always stuck with him after being zapped around by Cas, Dean nodded and closed his eyes. He heard Ce shift fully and then felt the boy’s arms around his waist. 

“Hold on now.” 

And they took off. It felt different than flying with Cas. He never felt that he was being moved by the angel until after they had arrived. With Ce, he felt that he was flying at top speed and, after a few seconds, he realized that he couldn’t breathe. After a few gasps, he felt one of Ce’s hands move up to his head and turn it around so that his face was pressed against the boy’s shoulder. This way, the air wasn’t rushing around him the same way and he could pull in shallow breaths, thinking briefly that the boy smelled of fire. After what felt like several minutes he noticed that the air around them got warmer and dryer. Then Ce landed and let go of Dean, keeping a hand on his shoulder to make sure that he was steady. When the man nodded, he stepped back and looked around. 

“We have to walk from here. If I were to fly us all the way to the cage, we would get attacked both by the demons guarding it, as well as the protective fields around it. I wouldn’t have trouble getting through them, but I can’t promise that you would survive it. Come on. Let’s go before someone notices us.” 

Right then, a big swarm of black shadows came towards them. Immediately, Dean felt himself pulled in behind Ce, the boy’s big wings pulling back to shield him from the sides. Acting on instinct won from years of hunting, Dean turned around and pulled his gun out at the same time, making sure that Ce’s back was covered, even though he doubted any of these demons could hurt him. 

“Stay close to me.” 

Dean immediately took a step back to stand back to back with the boy and then he heard the roar. The one the boy had used on the angels. The one that made him feel like he was in danger and had to fight or run. The wings pulled closer to him, creating a cocoon around him with only a small gap in front of him where they didn’t quite touch each other. He saw a shadow try to get in through it and quickly shot, not expecting anything to happen. As he thought, the bullet didn’t seem to do anything, but the shock of someone shooting at it was enough to push it back. The roar intensified a bit, before a man’s voice could be heard. 

“Enough! Leave them!” 

The demons flew off with screeches and Ce’s roar stopped abruptly. His wings fell and Dean immediately turned to where a man in his twenties was coming towards them. His long black hair, dark eyes and distinct armor, as well as the way Ce was smiling at the man, told Dean who this was. Almost as if wanting to confirm it for him, Ce turned a bit to be able to see both men and gave Dean a grin. 

“Dean, this is the Great Khan. Khan, this is Dean Winchester.”

The mongol gave him an odd look, before concentrating back on Ce. 

“It’s been a while. How has my beloved Chaos been doing?” 

Ce let his wings turn into the coat again, but his talons, fangs and eyes remained. 

“Not much worse than the last time I saw you. Your English has improved.” 

Khan nodded. 

“I’ve been practicing since the last time. What are you doing here with HIM?” 

At that, Dean noticed how Ce’s shoulders tensed a bit, but the boy’s voice stayed calm and emotionless when he spoke. 

“From your tone I take it you know him?” 

“Everyone in hell knows of him. Alistair’s best student.” 

As Dean felt a mix of fear and fury fill him, Ce growled quietly. 

“Something’s changed.” 

Khan tilted his head. 

“What would have changed?” 

“The only reason I fought back against them is because I knew they weren’t yours. So why did they answer to you?” 

The mongol seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, before a big grin appeared on his face.

“After the last time you left, I started thinking. You told me that, had I let you, you would have given me the entire world, even if you had to drench it all in blood first. You told me how much more important I would have been than I already am. And, once that boy was taken out of the Cage, the angel left a small crack behind. Enough for Lucifer to control some of the boy’s mind. Enough for everyone in hell to get into a frenzy. So I stepped up. Took control. Once you kill the devil for me, I’ll conquer all of hell. Then you’ll bring me back to life, just like you did to my daughter and, with you by my side, I’ll conquer all of earth. And then, when I unite hell and earth, we’ll march on heaven and I’ll be forever remembered as the ruler of all.” 

As Dean was left speechless, Ce seemed to keep his calm. 

“The only reason I was able to bring your daughter back, was because you brought her to me a few minutes after she died. You’ve been dead for too long. And, I’m not here to kill the devil for you. I’m here for Sam.” 

Dean looked at him with shock and therefore missed the look that had appeared on Khan’s face. 

“Very well.” 

And he swung, a big scythe appearing in his hand. It was too late to do anything. If Ce had jumped back, he would have jumped right into Dean, most probably hurting the man. If he jumped to the side, the scythe would have hit Dean. And so, without any other options, he stood still as the scythe buried itself in his chest, right where his heart was. Dean watched with wide eyes as the boy swayed, his wings appearing and twitching uncontrollably. And then he just took a step back, letting the blade come out of his body. Khan shook his head. 

“Impossible.” 

Ce looked up at him, took a deep breath and then said sadly:

“I’m sorry.” 

And then he roared. Almost immediately, Khan turned to shadow and disappeared with a shriek. As soon as he was gone, Dean stepped around Ce and looked worriedly at him. The boy took another deep breath. 

“It’s fine. I destroyed him. He doesn’t exist anymore.” 

Dean shook his head with slight irritation. 

“Not what I’m worried about now. Are you alright?” 

Ce looked past him, to where the scythe was laying. 

“I… I should be dead.” 

Hearing that, Dean raised his eyebrows. 

“What?” 

“I’m pretty much invincible. For all the angel blades and other weapons I’ve been hurt with, nothing has ever been able to hurt me. But this… You don’t know what this is, do you?” 

Dean shook his head. 

“This is Death’s scythe. Not the one he uses to reap humans. No. This is the original one. The one God gave him to kill everything else. The one that could kill him in case anything happened. The one that could kill Death himself. For all of my invincibility, this should have killed me. I should be dead.” 

He walked slowly closer to the scythe and, after collecting himself and squaring his shoulders, he roared again. The scythe seemed to vibrate for a few seconds, before bursting on fire and then turning to dust. Ce looked surprised for a few seconds, before standing up straight and flaring his wings out, his face turning expressionless. 

“Let’s go. It’s not good for you to be down here too long.” 

And he started walking again, Dean having no choice but to follow him.

Chapter 17: Family

Notes:

There is an appearance of the Vikings characters in this chapter. They are important to Ce but will not play any part in the future chapters and were only needed to further this plot and Ce's backstory. If you don't know the characters and haven't seen the show it's fine. They will not appear in any of the other chapters.

After a few minutes of walking, Dean almost stumbled when he saw their way blocked by bars stretching from the ground far up into the air. It also stretched out to the sides so far that he couldn’t see the end of it. This was the Cage. This was where Sam had been tortured for so long. Ce stopped a few meters away from the bars and put his hand out to stop Dean as well. 

“Wait.” 

They stood in silence for a few seconds, before there was a sudden sound of rushing air, and Lucifer appeared in the Cage, leaning against the bars. 

“Would you look at that. My favorite nephew and my pet’s brother. Should I feel honored?” 

Ce tilted his head slightly, before taking a step back and nodding to Dean. 

“Go ahead. I’ll keep watch.” 

And he turned away from the Cage, letting his wings spread out so that they were shielding Dean a bit. Seeing that, Lucifer smirked. 

“So, you tamed the monster.” 

“We’re not here to talk about that. I need you to tell me what happened to Sam.” 

Lucifer tilted his head. 

“Doesn’t that girl, my lovely niece, show you everything?” 

“I don’t want to wait for the next time I can go in and see things for myself. You’re going to tell me what Michael did to him.” 

There was a sudden shift in energy at the mention of that name but, since Ce didn’t even twitch at that, Dean chose to ignore it as well. Lucifer shook his head. 

“While me playing with what is rightfully mine is just right, my brother took what Sam did more personally. I suspect he was also jealous of what me and dear Sammy had.” 

“What you had?! You tortured and abused him.” 

“So what? He is mine. My vessel, my pet, my whore.” 

Dean glanced back to Ce. 

“Ce. Can you hurt him without getting him out of the Cage?” 

Without a word, the boy turned around and raised his hand towards the Cage. Lucifer frowned. 

“You won’t do this if you know what’s best for you, little monster.” 

Ce smirked and twisted his hand a bit. Immediately, Lucifer fell down screaming. Dean glanced at Ce, almost flinching when he saw a slightly sadistic glint in his eyes. After a few seconds, he nodded. 

“That’s enough.” 

The boy’s hand fell immediately. Dean looked down at the fallen angel and, if he was honest, couldn’t even bring himself to enjoy him getting punished for what he did. 

“Kill them.” 

Two pairs of red eyes met, before Ce roared, both his hands raising towards the Cage. Immediately, the bars rattled. Seconds later, Dean raised his gun when he heard a chorus of furious wails coming towards them. Ce looked around with annoyance. 

“They won’t allow this.” 

Dean glanced at him. 

“You said you can do this.” 

“Yeah. I can. ME. ALONE. Don’t you get it, Winchester? I can’t be killed. YOU can.” 

For the first time, Dean detected slight worry in the boy’s voice. 

“Your gun is useless here. So is that knife of yours.” 

As they saw a swarm of black shadows appear, Ce suddenly spread his wings out to the sides, before grabbing Dean and forcing him to crouch. Then he crouched down next to him, his wings enveloping them both and creating a dome around them. Seconds later, Dean heard the sound of the demons crashing into the barrier of wings around them. Ce winced, but didn’t otherwise show that he was affected. 

“Can you get us out of here? Forget the Cage. Just fly out of here?” 

The boy shook his head. 

“I can’t. The Cage was damaged before, from when my sister attacked it and then Castiel. Those cracks that allowed him to further torment Sam got bigger after my attack. If I don’t finish this, he will have even more power over Sam’s mind. And I won’t allow it. I won’t…!” 

He hesitated, before shaking his head and lowering his voice. 

“Grace wasn’t the one who taught me love. Khan wasn’t the first person to give me comradery. I had a family before that. A family I loved. A family I failed. The father dead in a foreign land. The oldest son killed by the youngest. The second son leaving for a land where he died far from his home. The third son finding peace in a church and condemning himself to never see his family again. The fourth son killed by the youngest. And the youngest killed in a battle that I should have helped him with. The first wife killing the second, and then dying in the arms of one of the sons. I loved them all. And I failed them. I refuse to fail another family.” 

Dean stopped himself from flinching as another force hit Ce’s wings. 

“What about Elle? Gabriel? Cas? Can’t they help?” 

Red eyes glared at him. 

“I’m not bringing my sister here! Not now. It’s too dangerous for her.” 

“Well then what the hell are we supposed to do? If you haven’t noticed we’re…” 

“CHARGE!” 

Dean’s head snapped up at the roaring voice, while Ce’s eyes widened. 

“Impossible.” 

They heard the demons screeching and, a few seconds later, the sound of a fight. Ce seemed to hesitate, before standing up suddenly, his wings spreading out. Dean flew up to his feet as well and watched with shock the people who were in the middle of the fray, fighting the demons, their weapons clearly doing damage. They were dressed like vikings, every one of them fighting with fury. There was a woman with long blonde hair, another with brown hair, two young men with long blonde ponytails, one with red hair and another woman with blonde braids. Before he could comprehend that he was seeing real vikings, two more men appeared, fighting their way through the fray. One had his face painted with black symbols and the other had a blonde ponytail. When he looked at them, Dean was struck by how blue his eyes were. Another shout was heard from the side and two more men appeared, throwing themselves into the fight. One with his hair only on the top of his head and the other with tattoos all over his face. The blue-eyed man moved through the fight to be closer to them and nodded towards the Cage. 

“Finish what you started! We’ll keep them off!” 

And, as Ce turned back to the Cage where Lucifer was now watching the scene with fear, the blue-eyed man glanced from Dean to the sword and axe he was holding. He frowned, before holding the axe out towards Dean. 

“You know how to use this?” 

Dean grabbed it and shrugged. 

“I’ll figure it out.” 

“Good. Have his back.” 

And, with that, he threw himself back into the battle. Dean gave Ce one more look and, seeing how concentrated the boy was, he took a more steady grip on the axe and started swinging is as soon as the demons came closer to them. Behind him, Lucifer started screaming inhumanly as the sound of bending metal was heard. They fought for a few minutes, before another screech was heard and Dean saw another swarm of demons coming towards them. Seconds later, he heard the sound of horse hooves and wheels. A black horse appeared, it’s rider charging into the battle with his sword raised high and, to Dean’s shock, a cross hanging around his neck. Next to him was a chariot drawn by another black horse. The man steering the chariot had eyes as brightly blue as the one who had given Dean the axe. Holding onto the side of the chariot, riding it with wild war-cries, was a brown-haired man. As soon as they reached them, the man on the chariot jumped off and started fighting like a wild animal, giving out happy cries as he killed the demons around him. The other man steered his chariot closer to Dean and Ce, blocking the demons from coming closer to them. He grabbed a bow and arrows from the side of the chariot and started firing. The man with the cross jumped off his horse and came to a stop next to Dean. As they fought side by side, Dean heard a big crash behind him and, when he glanced back, he noticed the entire Cage turning to dust, the charred remains of Lucifer and Michael laying on the ground. Ce turned towards the fight, his eyes blazing.

“Down!” 

As all the vikings threw themselves to the ground, the man with the cross jumped over to the chariot, grabbed the man there and pulled him down onto the ground as well. The tall, brown-haired woman, who had ended up fighting close to Dean, grabbed him around the shoulders and threw them both to the ground, covering Dean’s head with her own body. Blind because of that, all he could hear was a great roar and then silence. As the woman moved off of him and helped him to his feet, he looked around the entire place. Except for the vikings, who were now picking themselves up from the ground, everyone else was gone. It was almost eerily quiet. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to the woman next to him. 

“Are you alright?” 

He nodded, and then concentrated on Ce. The boy was standing with his wings hanging limply behind his back. The blue-eyed man walked over to them with calm steps and a small smile on his face. Before anyone could react, he reached out and pulled Ce into a hug. Seconds later, he pushed him away a bit and gave him a slap on his head. 

“Just because you left, doesn’t mean you’re not still family. You’re family. We love you.” 

Ce hesitated, before pulling the man into another hug. 

“It’s so good to see you again, Ragnar.” 

Once they pulled apart, the blonde woman immediately pulled him into a hug. 

“You should have came back, you fool. No one blamed you for anything. Until that stupid mongol started to taunt us about how well you served him, we thought you had died.” 

“I’m sorry, Lagertha. I didn’t realize… I thought I couldn’t come back.” 

As they pulled apart, Ce looked to where the man with the cross and the man who had fought most wildly were helping the man from the chariot, who Dean first now realized was a cripple, sit on the floor of it. 

“Heahmund? Hvitserk? How are you two here? And what are you doing with Ivar, priest?” 

The man with the cross leaned against the side of the chariot and shrugged. 

“I guess fighting with heathens, having a fling with a heathen AND killing a priest was enough to damn me beyond salvation. After I got here, I found Ragnar and we waited. By the time Ivar was here, I had made my mind up. He had trusted me, I turned my back on him. That wasn't who I was. We talked and resumed our friendship.” 

Ce turned to Hvitserk. 

“And you? Last time I checked up on you, you had converted.” 

“Yeah. And then when Ivar’s killer came to me to ask my forgiveness, I kinda snapped. I slaughtered him in the middle of a church and then died with the names of Ivar and Odin on my lips. So I ended up here and we were reunited.” 

Ivar smirked from his seat in the chariot, but didn’t say anything. Ce returned his smirk, and then turned to Dean. There was something calm and relaxed in his stance, and he seemed overall happier. 

“Dean, this is my family. Ragnar Lothbrok, his wife Lagertha and his best friend Floki. These are his sons, Bjorn, Ubbe, Sigurd, Hvitserk and Ivar. Ubbe’s wife Torvi and Bjorn’s wife Gunhild. That’s Harald and Halfdan, family friends. And Heahmund. A christian bishop who spent quite some time fighting for us.” 

Then he turned to Ragnar, a slight frown on his face. 

“Athelstan?” 

Ragnar shook his head, deep sadness appearing in his eyes. 

“No. He isn’t here.” 

He looked towards the charred corpses and then put a hand on Ce’s shoulder. 

“You did what you came for. Go back home, now. You have a chance to have a family up there. Don’t lose it. And remember you’ll always have a family here, with us.” 

And, after giving him another hug, he turned around and started walking away. Sigurd, Lagertha, Bjorn, Gunhild and Floki followed him. Ubbe and Torvi gave Ce hugs as well, before disappearing in another direction. Harald and Halfdan left quickly after that, both laughing and talking in old norse. Heahmund and Hvitserk helped Ivar onto the seat of his chariot, before Hvitserk jumped in next to him and Heahmund mounted the horse that had appeared out of nowhere. Ivar glanced back to Ce and tilted his head. 

“If you ever visit heaven, find Igor, Katja and Dimitri and tell them I love them.” 

Ce frowned. 

“Dimitri?” 

“My son. Katja raised him christian, so he didn’t end up here. I could keep an eye on him while he was on earth, but I lost sight of him after he died.” 

The boy nodded. 

“I will.” 

With a small smile, Ivar made a clicking sound and the horse immediately started moving. Heahmund glanced down at Ce and frowned. 

“I know we haven’t had that many interactions but, if you go to heaven do something for me as well. Tell Athelstan that Ragnar misses him, and then come back here and tell Ragnar that Athelstan still remembers him. Hearing that man talk about how much his christian must hate him, and seeing the way he watches me, Ivar and Hvitserk is maddening.” 

After Ce nodded, he quickly rode off, following the chariot. As soon as he was out of sight, Ce turned to Dean. 

“I don’t even feel drained.” 

The man frowned. 

“Did you expect to?” 

At that, the young man seemed slightly irritated. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t always been like this. I remember when I was younger, I would get hurt all the time. One day, I fell down a cliff and had scrapes and bruises all over. A year later, I fell down the same cliff and didn’t have a single wound.” 

Dean’s frown deepened. 

“What changed between those times?” 

“I killed a few people who were sacrificed in my mother’s temple. I let myself turn into a monster.” 

He glanced back at the broken Cage and shook his head, before turning back to Dean. 

“Ready to go back?” 

Dean just nodded. He let the ax fall to the ground and closed his eyes as Ce grabbed him and started flying up.

Chapter 18: Guardian Angels

As they landed outside of Bobby’s house, Dean immediately headed inside. As soon as he entered the living room, he was met with worried looks. 

“What? Sam?” 

Elle shook her head, nodding slightly to where Sam was still asleep, and then went back to staring at Dean. He heard Ce entering the house after him, the boy walking over to the armchair and sitting down. 

“You know where we went, don’t you?” 

Elle nodded slowly. 

“You called my name. And dad’s and Cas’. We could sense where you were but didn’t know how to get there.” 

Cas frowned. 

“What were you doing down in hell?” 

Dean smiled slightly. 

“Ce destroyed the Cage and everyone in it. Sam is free.” 

As the supernatural beings all stared at the boy in shock, Bobby concentrated on Dean. 

“Does that mean Sam will be alright now?” 

To everyone’s surprise, it was Ce who answered. 

“No. He will still see everyone’s colors. He will still be worried about food and cold water. He has still been tortured for around 1800 years. But this might help him heal at least a little bit. Give him some peace of mind, now that his torturer can’t harm him anymore.” 

Then he turned towards Gabriel, his red eyes glaring. 

“I was stabbed with Death’s scythe down there. Nothing happened. So tell me, father, what the hell am I?” 

Gabriel sighed heavily. 

“I don’t know. After you were born, your mother told me she wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. She said that you would have more power than anyone else in the world. I don’t know what she did. I don’t know anything. All I know is that I had to use some of the blood magic she uses to put you to sleep, and even then keeping the spell activated was taking more out of me than I would have liked it to do.” 

Ce nodded at that and closed his eyes for a few seconds, before suddenly standing up again. 

“I’m going outside. I need to stretch my wings.” 

And he left the room. Moments later, Sam started to stir on the couch. Most probably noticing the way Dean was immediately concentrated on him, Elle grabbed Gabriel’s hand and squeezed it. 

“Come on, dad. Let’s leave them for a moment.” 

They left the room, Bobby and Cas following not long after. Moving slowly, Dean walked over to the empty couch and sat down on the ground with his back against it and just waited. After a few minutes, Sam finally sat up, his eyes looking around with fear until they landed on Dean. He seemed to hesitate, before slowly slipping off the couch and crawling over to sit down next to his brother. 

“How are you feeling, Sammy?” 

“I… I don’t know. He… Is he really gone?” 

Dean nodded. 

“Yeah. He’s gone. They both are. They can’t hurt you ever again.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Dean feeling calm again now that he had Sam safe in his sight. The atmosphere in the room became so calm and quiet that he almost startled when Sam started speaking again. 

“Do you know why the colors are so important?” 

Dean shook his head. 

“They symbolize your soul. What your soul feels most connected to. He… He said that he used to love sunsets. That they were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. M… Mi… He loved everything pure. So he was white. Gabriel is someone who doesn’t particularly care about the pure things, but he is pure. He is golden. Elle is golden like her father, but also burning like I’m guessing her mother does. Cas is electric blue, because that’s what he is. He is thunder and lightning, but also a calm blue. Bobby has rusted through the years, after so much loss and pain. Ce… Ce is a monster, so he is drenched in blood.” 

Once again, Dean shook his head. 

“Ce isn’t a monster. He’s just broken.” 

“So he fits here. With us.” 

“Yeah. He does.” 

Then, wanting to pull his brother’s mind away from what happened in hell, he leaned back and smirked. 

“You won’t believe who I met down there. Real vikings.” 

Sam’s eyes widened. 

“You met…” 

He stopped, a frown appearing on his face. When Dean made a questioning sound, he shrugged. 

“I don’t know how to say VIKINGS in enochian.” 

His pronunciation of vikings was so rough and distorted that it took Dean a few seconds to realize what his brother had said. 

“It’s vikings. I guess my brother wouldn’t have any reason to use that word around you.” 

Both brothers turned to where Gabriel was coming inside the room. The angel sat down on the floor as well and sighed. 

“You better, Sammy?” 

Sam nodded. 

“Yes. It feels… calmer now. Quieter.” 

Gabriel nodded, before switching to english. 

“There is something you two have to know. Something I guess is connected to why I was brought back.” 

And, seeing that he had both brothers' attention, he continued. 

“Back when everything was created, when humans started to reproduce themselves, dad thought that it would be a good idea to assign certain angels to certain humans. Guardian angels, you could say. Even though I had left heaven by that point, he still assigned humans to me. I was never good with making decisions about them. Kain, Khan and Ivar I abandoned, and that didn’t turn out well. Kain killed his brother. Ivar died in battle. Khan was a tyrant. I tried to stay with Hitler and he survived that encounter with that one soldier that could have killed him, although all of heaven and anyone associated with it abandoned him shortly after that. I guess I did alright with Doss, but that too was only on that ridge. Everything else in his life he had to do alone. So, when I was tasked with another soul, I decided to stay away as well. Stepped in once and just caused him more pain, so I left him alone. Until I realized Kali knew what I was. Until I realized she knew exactly what our children are. And I realized that, if pushed, she wouldn’t hesitate to use what they were to win this war. I realized how wrong I had been about everything I thought I knew. And, with me having put Ce in a coma not long before, I realized just how much I have been failing everyone around me. So I took a stand. I took a stand and I died. And then, when I was dead, I suddenly felt a pull. The next thing I knew, I was alive again. So, when I realized that I really was alive, I decided to go to the person I was still guardian over. I decided to stop running from my responsibilities.” 

He turned to Sam, and the man slowly tilted his head. 

“You’re my guardian, right?” 

Gabriel nodded. 

“Yeah, kiddo. I’m sorry for everything you had to go through.” 

“Wasn’t your fault.” 

Suddenly there was a shrill ringing in the house and Sam screamed, grabbing his stomach and curling up. The ringing stopped just seconds later, but the damage was done. Sam was on the floor, shaking and rocking back and forth. When Dean reached out to him, he just shrieked again, curling up even more. Cas, Elle and Bobby rushed inside, stopping in the doorway, at the same time that the back door slammed open and Ce appeared next to his sister seconds later. He was glaring at Gabriel. 

“What the hell did you do?!” 

“Ce! Cut it out.” 

At Dean’s sharp voice, the boy huffed angrily but calmed down. Meanwhile, Elle had hurried over to Sam and had her fingers on his temples. 

“It’s a memory, but I don’t have enough power to put him under or go in again.” 

With a heavy sigh, Ce walked over to them and shifted fully. 

“Stay out here. I’ll go in.” 

His sister looked at him with shock. 

“You? Ce, your powers destroy. You can’t…” 

“I KNOW!” 

He took a calming breath and nodded. 

“I know. Which is why HE is going in with us.” 

And, before anyone could say anything more, Dean’s entire world went black.

Chapter 19: Maybe I Did Something Good For Once

When it came back into focus, he was standing in the hallway. Ce was next to him, his wings tucked close to his body. A few steps away from them was Gabriel, the angel looking shocked and slightly winded. 

“Follow me.” 

And the boy started walking down the hallway. Dean and Gabriel exchanged a glance, before following him. After a few seconds, Dean suddenly stumbled when everything around him shook. Immediately, Ce was next to him, his wings spread out to keep his balance better. He grabbed Dean’s arm, before sending out a pulse of power. Everything calmed down and he relaxed slightly. 

“I can’t put Sam out the same way Elle can. All I can do is keep his mind paralyzed, and that won’t help much, so let’s move.” 

And he started walking again, this time holding onto Dean’s arm. Gabriel followed them in silence, until they reached a door that was almost shaking. Stopping in front of it, Ce turned to Gabriel. 

“Your turn. Don’t screw this up, or I’ll kill you.” 

The angel gave him a slightly confused look, before reaching out and opening the door. Inside, Sam was sitting in the corner of a bare room completely naked, his hands pressed to his stomach. Lucifer was standing against the wall, holding a phone in his hand. Dean glanced over to Ce, but the boy shook his head. 

“He’s a memory.” 

Inside the room, Lucifer pressed a button on the phone he was holding. Immediately, a shrill ringing sounded out in the room. As Sam whimpered, Dean suddenly realized that the ringing was coming from Sam’s stomach where he could see the phone glowing through Sam’s skin. Before he could say or do anything, Sam started to count the rings. 

“One, two, three, four, fi.” 

Before he could finish the ‘five’, a loud bang was heard and Sam’s hands on his stomach were the only thing holding his intestines in place as the phone exploded. Ce growled, before putting his hand on Gabriel’s back and pushing the angel inside the room. After regaining his balance, Gabriel quickly turned to Lucifer and snapped his fingers, the man disappearing immediately. Then he walked over to where Sam was and put his fingers against his temple. A golden shimmer enveloped him and, when it disappeared, Sam’s stomach was healed and he was dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. 

“Sam? Can you look at me?” 

Sam’s head snapped up and his eyes widened. 

“You? How… I don’t… You died. He… He was so mad.” 

Gabriel smiled sadly. 

“I know. But I’m back now kiddo. I’m back, and I’m not leaving again. I promise. I’m here to help you. Just trust me.” 

“Why? You hurt me. You killed Dean so many times. The only reason you helped us in the end was because you cared about Kali.” 

“Yes. You’re right. I helped you because of Kali. But I also helped you because I decided to stop running. I was going to take a stand, even if it killed me. I was going to make sure you were safe. I know it might not mean that much to you, but I’m here to protect you, kiddo. I won’t let you get hurt again. I promise.” 

Seconds later, he had his arms full of a crying Sam. He started rocking back and forth, making calming sounds. After a moment of just looking at the angel and his brother, Dean glanced at Ce. The boy was watching his father with an unreadable expression and, when he noticed Dean watching him, he just raised his eyebrows. But neither of them got to say anything, since Gabriel had walked over to them and nodded. Behind him, Sam was sleeping curled up in the corner. They took a few steps back to let him exit the room and, as soon as the door was closed, he made the same golden sign on it that Elle had on the others. 

“Let’s go back.” 

His voice was unusually soft and he looked sad. Ce seemed to hesitate, before his face got an angry look and he growled again. Seconds later, everything went black. When Dean opened his eyes, he was back in the living room. Immediately, he turned to Sam and, just like in the memory, Sam threw himself forwards into a hug, this time hugging Dean instead of Gabriel. After giving his father another glare, Ce stormed out of the room, the front door slamming shut after him. Over Sam’s head, Dean made eye-contact with Gabriel and sighed. 

“Go after him, you idiot.” 

That seemed to snap the angel out of it, since he immediately stood up and followed his son. As soon as he was gone, Elle pulled Bobby to the kitchen, while Cas walked over to Sam and Dean and sat down on the floor next to them. He made a surprised sound when Sam pulled him into the hug as well, but then moved a bit closer to them and, by the sudden warmth around them, Dean realized that the angel had put his wings around them. 

 

*****

 

Outside, Gabriel came to a stop in the middle of the yard and looked up to the sky where Ce was just a black blur. 

“Ce. Can we talk?” 

After a few seconds, Ce landed heavily on a car, putting a big dent in the roof. 

“What?” 

“I wanted to… Why do you hate me so much?” 

Ce tilted his head. 

“Where do you want me to start? With you abandoning mom? Abandoning us? Putting me to sleep and leaving Elle alone during an apocalypse!” 

A windshield in one of the cars exploded and Ce took a calming breath. Gabriel nodded. 

“I understand. I haven’t been a good father. But your sister doesn’t hate me as much as you.” 

“You’ve never seen her as a monster.” 

“Is that it? That I saw you as a monster?” 

Ce huffed and sat down on the roof of the car, absentmindedly running his fingers across it and fixing the dent in the process. 

“A bit. I don’t really care about that part anymore. I’m a monster and I’ve accepted it. But you’ve screwed me over so many times. I know you were Ivar's guardian. And Khan's. And yet you left them. It was because of me, right? Because something was wrong with ME.” 

The angel lowered his head a bit, a sad look crossing his face. When he looked up, it almost seemed like he was finally feeling the weight of all his years on his shoulders. 

“Yes. That’s why I left them. When your mother dropped you and Elle off with me, I didn’t know what to do, but I was going to do my very best to be a good father. But then I looked in your eyes, and I saw so much darkness and evil in them, that I just couldn’t do it. Through the years, I kept an eye on you, but always stayed out of sight. If I’m honest, I was scared of what you could become if you were raised the wrong way and, with the way the people in the temple were treating you, I figured it was already too late to change you. So I left. The next time I saw you, was when Ivar was born and I went to see who I was going to be a guardian for. When I noticed how close you were with those vikings, I decided to just stick around and watch. I saw how Ragnar treated you like one of his own sons, and how those boys saw you as their brother. I saw how Ragnar succeeded in what I thought was impossible. Making you a good person. When I saw that, I left. I was worried that my presence would somehow make you flip. The next time I saw you, you were with Khan. And you were a beast. So I left again. I saw you a few times after that, and every time you were this wild beast I had been scared you would become. So I left you alone.”

“And when did you start hating me?” 

At that, Gabriel shook his head. 

“I never hated you, Ce. I was worried about you. About what you could do. I was scared of you when I saw what you became under Khan’s rule. But I never hated you. I don’t think I could. You’re my son. My family. If I can’t bring myself to hate my brothers after all they did to Sam, I don’t think I could hate you for anything you do.” 

With a heavy sigh, Ce slipped off the car. 

“You’ve changed. I can see it now. You care about Sam. You’re his guardian.” 

Gabriel nodded. 

“Yes. I care about him.” 

“So maybe I did something good for once.” 

The words were mumbled but, thanks to being an angel, Gabriel still heard them clearly. 

“What do you mean?” 

Ce seemed to hesitate, before giving Gabriel an odd look. 

“You know, Khan’s favorite daughter died as a child. He brought her to me, asking if I could do anything. I brought her back to life.” 

The angel looked confused for a few seconds, before his eyes suddenly widened. 

“You brought me back.” 

Ce nodded. 

“To be honest, I didn’t know who I was bringing back. I saw Elle trying to get into hell to get Sam out and decided that I needed to bring someone into this, because then maybe she would back off. I was tired of putting up shields around the Cage just to keep her from coming back. So I concentrated on bringing Sam’s guardian angel back. I didn’t know it was going to be you.” 

“But… You were in hell during that time. You brought me back from the Empty, while you were in hell, keeping a shield up around the Cage strong enough to keep your sister out. And you don’t seem any weaker than you’ve always been.” 

The boy shrugged. 

“I told you. There is something odd about me. Death’s scythe should have killed me. Instead, I destroyed it.” 

Then he turned away from him and looked up to the heaven. 

“Maybe I could…” 

Then he glanced back at Gabriel. 

“I’m going away for some time now. I should be back by the morning tomorrow. Keep them safe. I may understand you a bit more now, but if something happens to anyone in that house while I’m gone, I WILL KILL YOU.” 

And without waiting for his father to answer he shot up into the sky, leaving a black blur behind him. Gabriel sighed deeply and turned towards the house, startling slightly when he noticed Elle standing in the doorway. She smiled at him. 

“Sam is asking for you.”

Chapter 20: She did WHAT?

As Ce was flying up at top speed, he suddenly felt pressure all around him, white light starting to flash. With a roar, he gave himself a boost with his powers, breaking through the light, black smoke enveloping him. Another flash of light hit him, dissolving the smoke around him, but still not touching him. With another growl, he suddenly stopped in the middle of the air, almost getting blinded by the light around him. He tried to orient himself but the light was getting brighter and brighter. Then, suddenly, he saw the shape of a person in the middle of the light. The shape was light as well, but its light was slightly darker than the others. Seeing this as his beacon, Ce turned around in the air and, after sending a pulse of energy around him to give himself a bit more space to move, he put his wings back along his body and went into a dive, straight towards the silhouette. Some of the lights around him tried to stop him but he just shot through them, violently breaking through the barrier. The force he had broken through it with sent him tumbling on the ground. He rolled a few times, before suddenly finding himself in the air again, falling. After regaining his wits, he managed to reopen his wings, arresting his fall just seconds before he crashed into the clear water beneath him. He took a calming breath, only to almost lose it again when he realized where he was. He was in a fjord. The air was cold and harsh, almost biting. He was back in the north. Back home. Back in the place he swore to never go back to after Ivar had died and Hvitserk had decided to stay in England. Very slowly, he lowered himself a bit and turned in the air to be able to put his hand in the water. It was freezing cold and he almost laughed. Then he looked up to where a man was standing on the edge of the side of the cliff. After moving his hand in the water one more time, he slowly flew back up to the cliff he had fallen off of. When he landed next to the man, he saw that he was smiling. 

“I have to say that, out of all the places people have thought the Garden or Heaven looks like, this is one of the most beautiful.” 

Ce nodded, looking around again. 

“Yeah. This is beautiful.” 

Then he turned to the man. 

“Who are you?” 

“My name is Joshua.” 

“Why did you help me?” 

“I’m curious about what you would do once you got here and wouldn’t have to fight. So far, you’re completely opposite of what I’ve heard.” 

At that the boy raised his eyebrows causing Joshua to smile. 

“I admit to being worried when the news about you being born reached me but, as per my orders, I have left you alone and just watched your progress. After a while, you became too strong for me to deal with alone so, even when I had my worries about your future, I could not do anything. And, seeing where you are now, I’m happy I couldn’t. Although I have to ask why you are here?” 

“I’m here for some souls.” 

Joshua looked at him with slight surprise. 

“Souls? Haven’t you done enough for now? You’ve destroyed the Cage, killed two archangels and brought another back to life. You’ve got into heaven although, with the darkness in you, you should never have managed to do it. How did you know that you could do this?"

Ce shrugged. 

"So far, I haven't found any limits to my powers."

Joshua seemed to hesitate for a moment, before nodding slightly. 

"Walk with me." 

As they started walking along the cliff, the man sighed. 

"Your mother wanted to make sure that at least one of her children survived. She didn't know what would become of you, considering that there has never been any children of an angel and a pagan god or goddess. And so she did what she did best. Blood magic. It was always her specialty. She made a special spell as well as a wish. A wish that someone somewhere heard. A wish someone granted. She wished that her daughter would resemble Gabriel, have an angel's kindness and good heart. For her son, she wished invincibility and power. She wished for him to never be hurt. That with every drop of blood he spilled and every life he ended, his powers would grow, until no one could ever hurt him."

Ce stopped in shock. 

"She did WHAT? So all those wars, all the people, monsters, demons and angels I've killed, they all made me like this? I mean, my killcount is in the hundreds of thousands." 

"And you are unbeatable, right?"

As Ce just stared ahead, Joshua gave him another smile. 

"The ones you're looking for are here. Just be careful when you bring them back. Make sure you get all of them. You do not want the body to just arrive on the earth without a soul. Or, worse even, fracture it."

Ce finally pulled himself out of his shocked state and shrugged. 

"I brought an archangel out of the Empty without fracturing him. I think I can get a few souls out of heaven." 

"Very well. Good luck, Chaos." 

And he suddenly disappeared into a white mist. Ce sighed heavily, before turning away from where the angel had been, only to frown when he saw a man going towards him. 

"I didn't expect to ever see you up here." 

Ce, who had by now recovered his balance, smirked. 

"Honestly, I didn't expect to ever come here. And I'm not here for you. I might be powerful, but I'm not sure even I could damn you from heaven to hell. Just know that Ragnar misses you."

The man sighed heavily and nodded. 

"I was afraid of that. If you ever see him, tell him I will always be his friend." 

Then he pointed towards the water below them. 

"Go through the water and you'll get where you need to go. But be careful. Living souls are allowed here, but not there. Don’t lose someone on the way.”

After giving the man a nod and a small smile, Ce walked over to the edge of the cliff and looked down at the water below. Then he glanced back at the man. 

“Will you be here when I come back?” 

The man shook his head. 

“I can’t. I’m not sure why they let me come here in the first place, but I already feel them pull me away.” 

He put a hand on Ce’s shoulder. 

“Be careful, and tell Ragnar I’m not mad at him.”

And, with a soft sigh, he disappeared in a gray mist. Ce looked around one last time, before walking over to the very edge of the cliff, his toes sticking out into the air, and looking down into the water. After pulling in a deep breath he dove straight down, putting his wings tight to his body. The water he hit was ice cold and he had to force himself to not gasp. Just because he couldn’t drown, didn’t mean that water in the lungs wouldn’t hurt. He used small bursts of power to propel himself forwards and, just as he was starting to question if he hadn’t made a mistake in trusting Joshua and Athelstan, he suddenly felt everything shift and then broke through the water, shooting up into the air. Immediately, he stretched his wings out, stopping in mid-air, and looking out over the land in front of him he stopped in surprise. The land he was looking at seemed gray, almost dead. There were a few houses there, but most of them looked more like bunkers  than homes. Very slowly, he flew closer to the cluster of houses, only to be met with a barrage of bullets coming towards him. Moving quickly, he pulled his wings around him and went into a dive. Seconds before he hit the ground, he spread his wings and flew at high speed right along the ground, one of his feet even dragging on the ground for a few seconds. Just as he reached the first bunker, he forced himself back again into a standing position, his feet slightly off the ground. 

“Don’t shoot! It won’t do you any good.” 

After a few seconds, a door opened somewhere to his right and a woman stepped out, her gun pointing at him. 

“Who are you? You don’t look like an angel.”

Ce frowned as he glanced around at the bunkers. 

“You’re fortifying against angels?”

“They aren’t very happy with the people who were close to the Winchesters.” 

He nodded, a smirk appearing on his face. 

“I can imagine. Now. Get everyone who was close to the Winchesters. You have ten minutes tops. They will come for me very soon.” 

“Who are you? And what…?”

“Look. I’m here because I want to help Sam. Now move. Every second we talk here, they get close. So hurry.” 

And he flew back up into the air. It was charged and he could see white light coming towards the bunkers. With a sigh, he shot towards the lights, a growl building in the back of his throat. He needed to get their attention away from the humans, if he wanted this to work out.