Work Text:
It is almost 2 in the morning and Seungkwan finds himself unable to sleep. The curtains are shut close, an apple and cinnamon candle from Bath and Body Works burns in one corner, hidden far away so the faint flickering of the flames won't wake him up. An instrumental version of Don't Know Why has been playing on loop for a good part of the night. The bedsheets are freshly laundered and he made sure to get his fluffed pillows sprayed with lavender and fir scented mist. On top of that, he has said his prayers and done his daily 10 minute recollection.
All in all, Seungkwan has set himself up for a successful sleep. But alas, sleep doesn't come to him.
The night light setting of his phone as he lazily scrolls through Twitter doesn't help him inch deeper into somnolence. He can feel his eyes being weighed down with strain and the day's stresses, but his body does not succumb easily.
Seungkwan finds himself hovering over the green WhatsApp icon.
boo 1:17 AM
augh, sol, I can't fucking sleep.
sol is typing…
sol 1:18 am
Errr, have you tried NOT being on your phone.
boo 1:18 am
B O R I N G
L A M E
H A N S O L
S E U N G K W A N
H A T E R
C O N F I R M E D
sol 1:19 am
lmao you only have yourself to blame kwannie
Plus, did you really type the spaces 1 by 1
boo 1:19 am
don’t think theres any other way 2 type dis
ANY.WAY.
I CANNOT SLEEP
U SHOULD REMEDY THIS
sol 1:20 am
mate , seeing that i am also up at the crack of dawn
we are in the same boat
Unfortunately :(
boo 1:20 am
T H E
BOAT
IS MOTHERFCKING
SINKING HANSOL
WE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT
AS MY FRIEND
u should save me.TT_TT
sol 1:20 am
are you really going titanic on me
and a boat?
boo 1:21 am
u dun understand sollie :(
i am losing sleep
y r u not doing anything to help me
U DUN LUB ME ANYMOAR
TToTT
sol 1:21 am
sorry kwannie
want me to come over?
Seungkwan’s eyes widen and the grip on his phone slacks. If not for his quick sense, he would have dropped the phone on his face as he read Hansol’s last message.It’s the first time that Hansol has ever initiated going over to Seungkwan’s flat. In their arrangement of almost three years, it’s Hansol that’s usually reserved. Hansol has never invited himself over, at least, not at the dead of the night and not for suspect and less than innocent reasons; and somehow Seungkwan doesn’t mind that. After all, Seungkwan would rather have every off-the-records visit be under his terms.
It's his Capricorn sun getting all control freak, he thinks, nodding to himself. His phone buzzes again and a small notification pops up breaking his musings. It's a singular question mark from Hansol.
boo is typing…
boo 1:22 am
btch u A.L.M.O.S.T made me drop the phone on my face
sol 1:22 am
just almost?
hehe
boo 1:23 am
come over
and
bring ur paint by numbers book
And text, don’t ring the bell
sol 1:24 am
yeet <3
When Seungkwan opens the door, he finds Hansol, clad in a neon green hoodie and bright orange, jersey shorts clashing with Hansol’s now silver hair, black socks with cherry pattern print and black Nike slides. Seungkwan can’t help but snort at his outfit. A lesser friend would think Hansol just threw this outfit together at the last minute, but Seungkwan, being Hansol’s best friend for almost a decade now, knows that the whole spectacle is premeditated.
“Nice socks.”
Hansol smiles toothily at Seungkwan and raises up two meditation coloring books, both Harry Potter themed. He was about to retort something along the lines of Seungkwan knowing it,as always, but he gets pulled inside quickly and shoved against the door jamb of the adjacent powder room and the door locks automatically with a quiet click.
The next thing he knows is that Seungkwan’s lips are on his and they are kissing each other gingerly. Maybe it was the time, or maybe it was something else, but neither of them deepens the kiss. Both are content, at least for the time being.
It's not long until Seungkwan has his hands fisted around Hansol's hoodie and Hansol's grip on the coloring books slacken in response. His left hand scrambling for Seungkwan's hips in order to pull him closer and he cheers internally when Seungkwan crowds his space. The door is slowly becoming uncomfortable behind Hansol but he doesn't mind it one bit.
Seungkwan nips lightly on Hansol’s lips and his tongue slides in when Hansol grants him access. Hansol's eyes close, savouring the feel of Seungkwan inside his mouth and this moment of affection. They separate a bit, breathing in each other's air and when Seungkwan looks up at Hansol with blown eyes, Hansol captures his mouth again.
Seungkwan hums into the deeper kiss, recalling and memorizing tastes and textures. The kiss is familiar and tastes so distinctly Hansol but with a strong peppermint influence, and something sweet that Seungkwan can’t place his finger on. He pulls back a bit and Hansol chases at him. With a hand on Hansol’s chest, he goes back to kissing him, licking and sucking on Hansol’s reddened lips, but his mind was elsewhere. He pulls back again and this time Hansol whines in protest.
“Licorice?” Seungkwan asks, his hand forcefully stopping Hansol from kissing him again until he finds out what that unidentified taste was.
Hansol looks at him, half dazed and half annoyed. “What?”
“Did you have licorice right after you brushed your teeth?” Seungkwan presses.
“Uh, yeah? Just gotta chew something on my way here,” Hansol confirms and finally, he’s able to fight against Seungkwan’s forceful hold and successfully lands a smooch on Seungkwan’s mouth.
Seungkwan scrunches his nose up at him.
“Eww,” he grouses as he playfully bats at Hansol’s chest.
Hansol only chuckles at him before he pulls Seungkwan towards him. He buries his face in Seungkwan’s neck and inhales the intoxicating scent of the multiple, expensive creams that Seungkwan uses. He noses around Seungkwan’s jawline, hand gripping his hips tightly as he plants soft kisses near Seungkwan’s mouth.
“I thought we were coloring tonight,” Hansol breathes against Seungkwan’s lips.
Seungkwan shivers deliciously at that, but he finds his resolve and nods as if to reassure himself. He smirks haughtily while his hands slowly snake down Hansol’s chest. Seungkwan's hands find their way down to the hand gripping the coloring books loosely and he takes the books from Hansol, stepping back and grinning cheekily.
“Of course, we’re coloring, what else do you think we should be doing?”
Hansol winks at him exaggeratedly and Seungkwan rolls his eyes. He grabs Hansol’s now empty hands and leads him through the familiar hallway to his room, careful not to knock anything over lest he wakes up any of his flatmates.
The scent of apples and cinnamon greets Hansol as soon as Seungkwan opens the door to his room. With the lights turned off, the room is blanketed in a combination of silver moonlight and city lights coming from the balcony door. A thick, navy blue and white, paisley patterned duvet is bunched in the middle of the queen sized bed, surrounded by various grey and black pillows against light grey sheets.
There is a haunting piano and humming melody playing on Seungkwan’s bluetooth speakers which Hansol recognises as the start of his current favorite song, Hozier’s Work Song. He remembers recommending Hozier to Seungkwan in one of their late night-slash-early dawn snapchat exchanges. Hansol had the song Sedated playing in the background of one of his video snaps and Seungkwan ended up asking about it. It evolved into them streaming Hozier's entire discography on Skype and if it turned into a steamy, jerk off session with Dinner & Diatribes playing in the background, no one will ever know.
Hansol stares unabashedly at Seungkwan, it's the first time that he's actually taken him in tonight and he thinks Seungkwan looks so endearing dressed in a thin dark blue shirt and matching silk bottoms. Seungkwan's naturally black hair appears freshly washed and Hansol reminds himself to figure out Seungkwan's shampoo later as he sees the long, curling bangs cover Seungkwan's eyes.
His eyes follow Seungkwan moving to a standing lamp to switch it on and a warm, yellow light fills the room. Seungkwan rummages in his desk drawer for coloring pens and Hansol walks up to Seungkwan’s desk, snatching the lit candle. He reads the label and places it gingerly back on the desk.
“You didn’t tell me that you’ve run out of the Rituals candle,” Hansol says as he turns around to jump on Seungkwan’s bed. The bed smells of Christmas, the scent of fir momentarily overpowering everything else in the room.
"Oh that, yeah," Seungkwan responds absentmindedly as he fishes out the coloring pens. He joins Hansol on his bed and nudges Hansol away a bit so he can drop the books and the supplies in between them. "I totally forgot to text you about it. I've been coming home from work late and I've been keeping it lit until the morning."
"Next time, tell me," Hansol urges as he pulls one book closer to him and then tries to select four colors to work with. "This candle smells nice though."
"Yeah it is, but it's not the same."
"That's why you should tell me when you're close to running out."
Seungkwan huffs at him. "I don't understand why you just don't tell me where you order it. I mean, you even take off the label!"
Hansol ends up selecting a bright pink, orange, cyan and purple pencils. He flips his coloring book open and chooses the image of Fawkes and gets ready to color in the Phoenix. "Huh, I figured you'd have looked it up by now."
Seungkwan takes the remaining colored pens, eyeing Hansol's selection furtively. He takes the other book and opens a page at random. "I did look it up. I know the brand but it doesn't even deliver here in Korea! Plus the website is all in English and I saw the prices! Forty thousand won?! For a candle, Sol!"
Hansol looks up from his coloring, purple pencil poised to color in Fawkes' beak and stares at him accusingly. "You said you liked the smell!"
"I do like the smell, but at least tell me where you get it. I can't always get you to buy me this candle just coz it's good for my stress management."
Hansol waves him away. "It's no big deal. Plus I get them on discount anyway coz I bulk buy stuff for Mom and Gyeol."
"Oh, ok," Seungkwan finally surrenders. " I was gonna say you're being an idiot, but knowing that you buy it for your mom and sister makes everything slightly less dumb."
Hansol laughs delightedly, and then feints being hurt. "Seungkwan-ssi, why do you injure me so?" He asks, cutely pouting at Seungkwan who only sniffs at him.
"Pfft, it's called tough love," Seungkwan says dismissively and he returns to focusing on his coloring. He doesn't notice Hansol peering at him with an odd look in his eyes.
Hansol stills fleetingly, mind stuck on the love part. He gazes at Seungkwan, now deep into coloring and barely suppressed a sigh. It's just an expression, he reminds himself.
About five songs into Seungkwan’s sleeping playlist, Hansol finds himself squinting at his page. There's a heaviness in his eyes and they feel watery and dry at the same time. He blinks the sleepiness away and tries to refocus on colouring. His left arm feels numb now because he's been resting his head on it for the past thirty or so minutes so he lifts his head up and chances a look at Seungkwan.
Seungkwan is asleep on top of his own coloring book. Pens forgotten, and mouth open a bit, Seungkwan looks absolutely tired. Hansol takes his phone out to check the time. It's 2:45 in the morning, and then like the mischievous kid that he is, he quickly snaps a picture of Seungkwan sleeping. He then makes the executive decision to stop coloring in Fawkes and closes the colouring book. He collects the coloured pens scattered on the bed and gently slides away the book that is currently being drooled over by Seungkwan. Seungkwan shifts a bit, but sleeps on despite his uncomfortable position of having his legs hanging out of the edge of the bed.
Hansol takes all the colouring paraphernalia and places them in the drawer desk that Seungkwan took them from. He switches off the standing lamp and blows out the candle. The room is plunged into darkness and it's only then that he notices that the music has changed to some instrumental jazz pieces.
He gets back to Seungkwan who hasn't moved an inch. A soft pat to Seungkwan's cheek and a low call of his name has Seungkwan sleepily opening his eyes.
"Hansol?" Seungkwan murmurs, voice ladened with slumber.
"It's alright, Kwan, let's just move you a bit so you can be comfortable."
Seungkwan nods once and lazily gets up to shift over to the left side of the bed, pulling the duvet over his entire body. Instead of turning to face the balcony, Seungkwan faces Hansol instead, eyes sleepy but expectant as he pats the side of the bed next to him, inviting Hansol to lay down.
Hansol sits and makes a quick work of his hoodie. Once it is off, he is left bare chested and he places the hoodie on the bedside table next to him. He puts his feet up and places them under the duvet and he finally relaxes.
Seungkwan immediately clings to him. His black hair tickles Hansol's neck and Hansol recognises the menthol scent from Seungkwan's shampoo. Seungkwan has his arms wrapped securely around Hansol's biceps and legs tangled together.
Seungkwan looks at Hansol, dark eyes round and weary. "Good night, Sol."
Hansol turns his head to face him, an easy smile gracing his lips at the sight of a sleep mussed Seungkwan. He ducks down quickly and steals a quick kiss.
"Night, Boo."
Seungkwan snuggles in closer and soon even Hansol can't deny the exhaustion he feels and they slip into slumber.
Hansol must be having a fever dream. He feels overheated. His chest feels bare and light, but his insides are burning. There's a rubbing sensation near his thighs that threatens to go deeper inside. A few seconds of relentless inner thigh massage pass and he can't help but think of how stupid it is that he's experiencing that kind of dream right now. There's an unbearable heat that is starting to build up in his lower belly and Hansol wishes that he is in a dream he can control because right now, his thighs are done with attention.
It seems that there is indeed a way to control his dreaming because the hand that was previously running over his inner thighs has now grazed his slowly hardening cock. The touch was gentle and teasing over his jersey shorts and he wants nothing more but to grab those hands and have them grip him tighter.
In his dream, the imaginary guy is none other than Seungkwan who is palming him and teasingly traces his fingers up and down his growing cock. There has been an abundance of dreams like this, even before his arrangement with his best friend started, but this dream felt different. It felt more visceral, somehow realer.
Fingers lift up the band of his shorts and the cold breeze of the airconditioning caresses him. A hand slips inside and makes its way painfully slow to his stiffening member. The hand grasps him firmly and starts to shift up and down, and Hansol cannot help but let out small utterances.
"Hmm, Kwannie, that feels good,” his dry lips move, but he can’t hear himself say it.
And then there’s a shushing sound and a light fingertip on his lips. “Sollie, let’s not be loud okay?”
Hansol nods and the Seungkwan of his dreams must be satisfied with his response because he starts pumping Hansol vigorously. Grip tightening and releasing at a pattern that easily drives Hansol crazy.
“Seungkwan,” he gasps as dream Seungkwan pulls just a bit harder and presses a thumb on the tip of his member.
“Open your eyes Sol,” dream Seungkwan commands and of course Hansol follows.
Hansol awakens to a grey-tinged image of real-life Seungkwan hovering above him. He’s confused and his head is muddled with thoughts of an interrupted delicious dream but a quick squeeze to his hardness clears the clouds away. He blinks again and he sees Seungkwan a little clearer. Seungkwan looks positively devilish with a smirk on his lips and his bangs covering his eyes and Hansol swears that if he could go any harder he definitely would.
Seungkwan grins at him and Hansol feels his lips stretch in a smile. Seungkwan descends upon him like a blessing and kisses him softly on the lips and with a murmur, greets him a good morning.
“Morning to you too, Kwannie,” Hansol returns breathlessly.
Seungkwan adjusts himself to straddle Hansol’s thighs and brings a hand down to grab the hard cock again and pumps lazily as he lays his head down on Hansol's chest. He watches Hansol close his eyes in pleasure and decides to slow down more. He plays with him so delicately that he has Hansol huffing out every time he swipes his hands up.
“It’s been a long time since we’ve done this,” Seungkwan whispers and Hansol barely gurgles a response.
“I’ve missed you,” Seungkwan says and this time, his lips trail up and down Hansol’s neck. He delights in the shiver that runs through Hansol. He finds Hansol’s lips again and this time he is much more controlling. A quick twist of his wrist has Hansol gasping which he immediately takes advantage of.
Tongue slipping in a waltz with Hansol’s, Seungkwan is lost in the taste and warmth of his best friend. He doesn’t know when he has closed his eyes, but he revels in the heat of their bodies seeping through his shirt and he can feel himself getting just as hard; undulating his hips against Hansol’s hipbone to find a bit of relief.
Hansol groans into their kiss as soon as he feels Seungkwan move against him. The smoothness of Seungkwan's silky bottoms contrasts against the stickiness of his palm and Hansol is just about ready to do anything to get more skin against skin. And then Seungkwan starts trailing hot, wet kisses down his neck, chest, and laps at his nipples. Before he can urge him to go back up and continue making out, Seungkwan crawls down.
With a start, Hansol opens his eyes and sees Seungkwan staring intently at his embarrassingly red and swollen cock. “Well?” Hansol voices out unsurely.
Seungkwan shoots him a mischievous smile and Hansol’s throat feels like a drought.
“I missed this,” Seungkwan repeats. “I missed you.”
Before Hansol can even respond, Seungkwan has him in his mouth. He diligently bobs up and down Hansol’s length, chin dripping with saliva and Hansol is a hundred-percent sure that he has never seen a more erotic sight. Each single time that Hansol spends with Seungkwan is akin to a refresher course. Familiar, forgotten with time, but very promising. No one time with Seungkwan is ever the same.
“Kwannie, fuck,” Hansol curses as Seungkwan expertly handles him. It must have been a loud curse because Seungkwan pops off him with a glare and a harsh shh.
“Quiet, Sollie,” Seungkwan reminds him before going back to his ministrations. He can feel Hansol getting close and a part of him wants Hansol to let loose and explode in his mouth, but Seungkwan remembers his promise. He pops off again and moves to slip off his bottoms.
“What?” Hansol disappointedly asks as he watches Seungkwan remove his bottoms and then climb over him. Seungkwan is on all-fours, navy blue shirt still on, but Hansol can see the curve of his bare ass.
“I promised it will be me next time,” Seungkwan says as he leans down to face Hansol. He lowers his hips down on Hansol, ass teasingly grazing Hansol’s hardness.
Hansol has to bite his lips so he can control himself. The last time they did this, their roles were reversed. Hansol doesn’t have a preference, but Seungkwan has always been the more controlling and dominating of the two so it was usually him against the bed. The last time they did this though, Seungkwan had Hansol sitting on him and Seungkwan promised that it would be his turn next time. Hansol didn’t realise that next time would come this soon.
“Are you sure?” Hansol asks.
“Yes Sollie,” Seungkwan reassures him softly with a wiggle of his butt, and from there Hansol can feel the telling gel texture of lube. “I’m going to ride you, Sollie.”
Seungkwan gets a hold of Hansol and positions him against his lubed up entrance and Hansol has to swallow a gasp when he finally gets through Seungkwan’s tightness. And oh god, Hansol is right, this feels like the first time all over again. He moves slowly, driving his hips up ever so gently so Seungkwan can adjust to the feeling of him.
“Kwannie, you feel so good,” Hansol breathes into Seungkwan’s collarbone.
“Shit, Sollie,” Seungkwan hisses, eyes closing in pain as he feels Hansol settle into him deeply. He opens his eyes and finds Hansol gazing at him with warmth and understanding. He breathes, and wonders if there’s anyone else in the world that can make him feel the same way Hansol does every damn time. He closes his eyes again, burying his face in Hansol’s neck. He grounds his hips harder against Hansol and tries not to think of anything else but the two of them.
“Kwan?” Hansol raises a finger to lift his chin up.
The second Seungkwan looks up, Hansol captures his mouth in a searing kiss, and like a flame lit within, Seungkwan moves faster. Hansol stutters with every rough movement and Seungkwan knows just how loud Hansol can be when he is nearing release so he tries his best to swallow every groan that Hansol lets out.
Hansol can feel himself getting closer. His hands tighten on Seungkwan’s hips, but all he can think about is Seungkwan's hardness rubbing against his belly. His right hand slips away to wrap around Seungkwan and pumps him with determination. Everything in this moment is just Seungkwan. There’s nothing else but him.
Hansol’s efforts pay off, soon Seungkwan is released. Thick strips of white, hot cum paint both his belly and Seungkwan’s navy blue shirt as Seungkwan spasms tightly all around him. Seungkwan sinks onto his chest, humming satedly; Hansol takes it as a sign and chases his own release. In a few or more thrusts, he finds himself emptying into Seungkwan, panting his best friend’s name out as he finishes.
They wake up again; entangled in each other, bottoms bare, legs cold, and duvet divested off them to the screech of Seungkwan’s alarm clock. Seungkwan, used to the screeching of his alarm clock, detaches himself from Hansol's embrace and immediately turns it off. Hansol must have felt him moving because he sits up, scratches his neck and looks at Seungkwan blearily.
"Morning," Seungkwan pecks Hansol on the cheek.
"Morning, what time is it?" Hansol croaks out.
"It's 7:30," Seungkwan responds as he moves out of the bed. He stands up and it is only then that he notices a stiff texture on his shirt and the dried, flaky remains of his and Hansol's adventures on his lower belly, inner thighs and presumably, his butt cheeks. "Eww, did we forget to wash up?"
Hansol stares at him owlishly, it seems that he is awake but not fully human yet. "What?"
"I've got dried cum," Seungkwan sniffs and Hansol watches him rush to the ensuite amused.
"What time is it again?" Hansol calls out with a yawn. Water starts running within the bathroom and Hansol can hear Seungkwan brush his teeth.
"It's 7:30," Seungkwan repeats after spitting the toothpaste out.
As if he was zapped, Hansol straightens up, gets out of bed and hurriedly follows Seungkwan into the ensuite.
Seungkwan was gargling his mouthwash when Hansol came in. He raises an eyebrow at Hansol's harried reflection on the mirror. He rinses and turns around to face Hansol. "What's got you in a rush?"
"I gotta be at the office by 8:30," Hansol explains, eyes wide and voice deceptively calm but Seungkwan can recognise his anxious tells. "I don't think I can make it in time if I still have to go back into my flat."
Seungkwan closes the distance between them and lays his hands on Hansol's shoulders and proceeds to knead them, hoping to relieve Hansol of some tension. "Hey, you don't have to go back to your flat. I'll lend you clothes, just shower here."
“Will your clothes fit me?” Hansol asks him, eyes widening comically.
“Are you saying I am fat, Mr. Chwe?” Seungkwan says with a playful smack to Hansol’s bare chest. If he didn’t know Hansol for such a long time, he would have been offended. Hansol pulls back, clearly acting that the hit hurt so Seungkwan pushes him in annoyance. “You’re so annoying, just get your ass in the shower and I’ll get clothes out.”
“Aye! Aye Captain Boo!” Hansol responds with a grin as he weaves around Seungkwan to get into the shower.
Seungkwan only rolls his eyes at him and leaves the bathroom. He takes off his soiled shirt, picks up his silk pyjama bottoms and balls them up to throw into the laundry basket. Facing his wardrobe, he thinks of how he should dress Hansol. Knowing his best friend, he imagines that Hansol probably just rolls into office in dark denim pants and some hoodie thrown under a coat jacket so that he can skirt around the formal dressing rules. He’s always wanted to dress Hansol up, and he thinks it’ll be fun if they somehow make it like a biannual thing where they can switch styles up.
He looks at his wardrobe full of neutral colors, blues, and classic patterns and wonders which one he should pick for Hansol when a specific shirt catches his eyes. It’s a dark blue button up with cartoon cacti pattern in various shades of green, blue and yellow on it. It’s a shirt he rarely wears, but he bought it on a whim since Hansol dared him to own a fun print. At the time, he found the shirt cute, though not his style, but now he realises it is completely his best friend's style. Satisfied with his choice, he then pulls out a pair of grey, cropped jeans that he’s outgrown and a red-and-white colorblocked cardigan. He raises the set of clothes and eyes them critically. Colorful? Check, it has reds, whites, and various shades of green and blue. Fun? Check, it has color blocking plus quirky patterns. All in all, it’s how Hansol would dress if he were a bit more refined. Giving himself a mental pat on the back, he places his selection on his bed and heads for the door.
Today is going to be good.
Seungkwan looks through the cupboard under the sink, moving packets and pouches aside so he can find his hidden stash of coffee beans that Hansol's mom gifted him after a few months stay in New York. When he finally finds it, he starts the kettle and proceeds to grind the beans coarsely. Tiny, light taps sound off the tiles and suddenly Seokmin's chocolate poodle, Coco jumps up at him.
"Morning, Coco," he says in a baby voice, as he bends down to play with the little cutie, lifting the poodle up to give her a smooch. He is hit with memories of his own dog, Bookkeu and he prays his bonus comes next month so he can finally fly Bookeu over.
"Coco, where are you?"
In walks the owner. Seokmin looks decidedly rougher than usual and Seungkwan immediately releases Coco from his hug and shoots Seokmin a smile that the man promptly ignores.
Suengkwan is undeterred though, he greets Seokmin cheerfully regardless. "Morning, hyung! Did you sleep well? You went to bed early last night…"
The way Seokmin stared at Seungkwan could freeze a lesser man but Seungkwan is no lesser man.
"Aish, this kid," Seokmin grumpily grumbles. "Yah, did you really have to have sex with someoone at 5 in the morning?"
Seungkwan's eyes widen at his hyung's question and he can feel a flush of warmth slowly rising up his neck and cheeks. Fuck, was Hansol that loud?
"Coco wasn't supposed to be up this early but he kept hearing you guys and he's been restless ever since! And I was supposed to be on my annual leave too! I spent the night online shopping and thought I could sleep in," Seokmin continues and quickly snatches the bag of coffee beans in Seungkwan's hands. Seungkwan relents easily, it's not like he can do anything else when Seokmin is fuming and sleep deprived.
Seokmin opens the bag of coffee beans, it seems as if all his grouchiness has been forgotten because he smiles brightly and eagerly scoops up a spoonful of beans, dumping them into the grinder. He turns victoriously towards Seungkwan. "And now I get a cup of your precious coffee!"
“Oh hyung!” Seungkwan chides him playfully, leading Seokmin to the dining table. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee! And a toast too, come on sit down, you don’t have to do anything for breakfast.”
Seokmin narrows his eyes at him but lets himself be led and seated down, Coco climbing up the table to placate her grumpy owner. Seungkwan busies himself with grinding the three cups worth of coffee beans and for the moment, the unique soundscape of the coffee grinder, Coco’s yips and Seokmin’s cooing fills the early morning.
The ambience is inevitably ruined when Soonyoung comes into the kitchen with his daily ritual.
“Good morning Mr. Lee, Mr. Boo and Madam Coco!” Soonyoung bellows enthusiastically as he takes the seat next to Seokmin, immediately urging Coco to flee her owner and come to him instead.
“Morning, hyung,” Seungkwan greets him without turning away from the task of brewing the coffee.
This greeting alone shocks Soonyoung. “Oh, what is this? Seungkwan being personable before his cup of coffee? Have I died and entered an alternate universe? ”
Seokmin snorts in response, while Seungkwan tries his best not to sass his hyungs. Seungkwan finally finishes his brewing and starts pouring a portion of the coffee into a thermos when a knock resounds on the kitchen door which sets Coco barking. The three flatmates turn to look at the knocker.
It’s Hansol, freshly showered and sharply dressed, standing in cherry patterned socks.
“Oh hey, good morning Seokmin, Soonyoung hyungs,” Hansol greets them sheepishly, while still remaining at the door. He takes in the sight of the three and the dog. Seungkwan is smiling at him, Seokmin is eyeing him suspiciously, Soonyoung is outright gawking at him and the dog, which he assumes to be Coco from Seungkwan’s stories, finally starts to quiet down.
Before anyone else can say anything, Seungkwan immediately rushes towards Hansol with the thermos in one hand, and hands it over to Hansol. “Here. Also, if you need shoes, just take the black Nike ones.”
“Thanks Kwannie,” Hansol says with a sweet smile. “I owe you a lot.”
“Psh,” Seungkwan waves him off, completely ignoring the muttering of his housemates. He watches Hansol take the shoes and slip it on, putting his Gucci slides in the bag where Seungkwan put last night’s clothes in. “Just have a good day at work.”
“Aye, aye Captain!” Hansol holds a thumb up and then playfully salutes him before pulling Seungkwan close, dropping a chaste peck on his lips.
Seungkwan is frozen. Sure they have kissed and done a lot worse the night prior, but they’ve never actually done something like this in front of their friends. His lips tingle and feel a lot warmer, and he’s pretty sure he looks stupid touching his lips while standing at the entrance of the kitchen, but he cannot take his eyes off Hansol who keeps grinning stupidly.
And then Hansol winks at him, takes his hand off his mouth and squeezes it tightly.
“And you too Boo, have a great day at work,” Hansol says cheerily, and then he turns back to Seungkwan’s flatmates and bows at them. “See ya around, hyungs, hope you all have a good day! I have to go now, work is calling. Please take care of Boo for me!”
Time felt surreal in that moment, because all three flatmates are in a completely unfamiliar situation. For Seungkwan, he is still shell-shocked at the kiss. For Seokmin, it is just mind-blowing once he’s connnected the dots that it was Hansol that Seungkwan has been having sex with this morning. And for Soonyoung, it is the surprise at the confirmation that Seungwan and Hansol are indeed dating and that Hansol even spent the night.
It was Seokmin who was the first to break the spell, probably in a desperate attempt to stop thinking about Seungkwan and Hansol and sex.
“O-ok, Hansol. Have a good day,” Seokmin stutters back to the retreating figure of Hansol which was headed to the main door.
Soonyoung recovers soon after. “Good luck to you too, Hansol! Come around whenever,” he calls out unsurely with a wave of his hand.
With the closing and locking of the door comes the confirmation of Hansol’s departure and yet Seungkwan is still standing frozen in the kitchen doorway, still seemingly caught in the spell of the moment.
And of course it was Soonyoung who hoots unnecessarily that brings Seungkwan out of his state. Seungkwan glares at Soonyoung while walking back into the kitchen, daring his hyung to comment on what just happened.
But, oh, Soonyoung just smirks back at him, because Soonyoung completely dares. Oh, he dares to speak on just about anything, because he’s Kwon Soonyoung and he knows no fear as a full-fledged Gemini. In fact, Kwon Soonyoung is confident that he himself is fear defined.
“Mr. Boo Seungkwan,” Soonyoung sing-songs.
Seungkwan swears that he never thought that Soonyoung’s eyes could get any smaller and any more slanted. He braces himself for the inevitable.
“Would you like to share something with the class?” Soonyoung urges, grease dripping from his voice.
At that, Seokmin cackles out loudly. Seungkwan can feel the heat rise from his neck to his scalp and he’s betting he’s as red as Coco’s wagging tongue now. He turns his back at his two annoying flatmates and vows to never promise Seokmin or Soonyoung a cup of coffee and a plate of toast in exchange for silence because he’s pretty sure he will never hear the end of it anyway.
Hansol walks into the flat in high spirits, crouching down and whistling while he arranges his shoes on the rack and makes a mental note to return Seungkwan’s shoes when he gets the chance. He is completely unaware of a giant shadow looming over him so he jolts when someone speaks.
“Where'd you sleep last night?” It was no other than Mingyu, and Aji, judging by the low sound of growling.
Hansol stands up and sighs exasperatedly at his nosy hyung. Mingyu was standing behind him, Aji comically nestled in one arm. "Wow, hello, hi Hansol. How are you? Did you have dinner yet? No, mom, I meant Gyu hyung."
Mingyu tsks at him and Aji growls even louder. At this point, Hansol is completely puzzled at Aji’s behaviour. Aji has always been a playful dog with him, though a bit of a shithead when it comes to his actual owner.
“Don't sass me Sol, Aji was looking for you. He was waiting by your door!”
Hansol goggles at him and Aji. Seriously? That may actually explain the growling. So he reaches out a hand to Aji and grabs the puny dog by the scruff and scratches him. Aji stops growling and they start walking towards the kitchen, leaving Mingyu behind. “Right, I am not Aji's dad though?”
Mingyu hurries after them and immediately takes back Aji. “You're not but you're in Aji's pack and he needs to know where you were.”
Hansol rolls his eyes at Mingyu. “Does Aji really wanna know or is it you?”
Mingyu beams at him, canine teeth flashing and Aji starts fussing again. Hansol swears that if dogs can communicate with their eyes, the way Aji is looking at him now is totally pleading.
“I was with Boo.”
Mingyu oohs, and proceeds to whisper into Aji's ears. Whisper what, Hansol wasn't really willing to find out and he doesn’t even get the chance to ask Mingyu about it anyway because the two walk out of the kitchen leaving Hansol behind. He shrugs at the weirdness of it all and heads for the refrigerator in search for a drink.
"Is Gyu hyung still doing the dog whispering thing with Aji?" Chan asks.
Hansol hits his head on the freezer box, jumping in surprise at the sudden question and the sudden appearance of his other roommate. He curses sharply, rubbing at the back of his head before he turns to face his roommate who was looking at him like one would at an unknown person slipping on a banana peel, with poorly disguised amusement and clear judgment of intellect. “Yeah.”
"It's weird, he's been doing it since last night, you know when you didn't come home," Chan muses at him, false innocence dripping in his tone.
Hansol ignores the thinly veiled accusation. "Where'd he watch that anyway? I'm sure he picked it up somewhere. Can't be something he just thought of randomly."
Chan hums at him pointedly, seemingly waiting for something else to be said but doesn't really offer up any explanation. On the other hand, Hansol finally finds the juice he's been looking for. He looks at Chan and raises his eyebrows. "What?"
"Nothing," Chan answers in a sing-song manner, but Hansol thinks it couldn't be just nothing.
Hansol takes a sip of the cranberry juice and shrugs. He really feels thirsty and he's been craving something tarty the whole day so he chugs almost half the bottle down.
"By the way, Seokmin hyung told me that you really get loud when moaning," Chan offers nonchalantly and at that moment in time, Hansol finds out it is indeed possible to choke on air.
Chan smirks to himself and decides that Hansol will not die from choking on nothing so he leaves the kitchen and whistles on his way out. It was a nice night to wreak havoc in the studio.
Hansol watches Chan walk out smugly while thumping his chest to get it back into working order. Once he stops sputtering and he’s sure that he is fine, he takes out his phone and shoots his partner-in-crime a message.
Han Solo 6:15 pm
seungkwan-ssi
we are buying your flatmates noise cancelling shit.
Boo-Ti-Peul is typing…
Boo-Ti-Peul 6:15 pm
Ok.
When?
Why?
Where
what the fuck for?
why am I also spending money?
???
Han Solo 6:16 pm
Chan just told me I moan really loudly. :/
Boo-Ti-Peul 6:16 pm
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF SOL NO WAY
Damn, Chan really be outing ya
to be fair,
He’s totally right though
And how the hell did he find out anyway?
Han Solo is typing…
Han Solo 6:18 pm
Idk, didn’t ask much. I almost died choking and he left me before I could ask.
Thats not it tho Kwannie. :(
Boo-Ti-Peul 6:18 pm
Oh no the sad face
Why the sad face hansoloo
Han Solo 6:19 pm
It's Chan! He's like a baby Yoda. Baby yodas. Don't come up to you asking if you scream during sex.
That’s just completely wrong on so many levels.
Boo-Ti-Peul 6:22 pm
Oh seriously,
HAHAHAHAHAH You’re too cute Hansoluwu
Also you need some facts…
One, Chan is devil incarnate….
Two, Chan didn't ask if you screamed during sex…
he said you were loud during sex.
Han Solo 6:23 pm
Same difference. It's still traumatizing. :(
Boo-Ti-Peul 6:23 pm
Aww, is my baby Hansolie embarrassed about being loud?
Han Solo 6:23 pm
Shut up Boo. >:(
Boo-Ti-Peul 6:23 pm
Fine, fine I'll look shit up online.
You’re such a baby
I love u
Han Solo 6:24 pm
I love u too, Kwannie
uwu
A week after the hereby dubbed Revelries at the House of Boo, Seungkwan finishes work unusually early. A typical workday ends at around 6:30 pm for him, but lately, deadlines on top of deadlines have him going home as late as 8 or 9. His flatmates, and even Hansol, would always remind him that life does not solely revolve around making a living and he knows that, but it’s not like he’s drowning at work.
It is now 6 in the evening and he is sure that Hansol is home. He sends him a brief text, a warning that he will drop by as he leaves the office. He gets a “Cool” with a smiley emoji of sunglasses in response, and it makes him smile a bit. Things are finally looking up, his project at work is in the handover stages and he finally has a bit of time to get back into his hobbies.
Seungkwan reaches Hansol’s flat at approximately 6:30. It only takes a ring of the doorbell for Hansol to show up, grinning wildly and ushering him in excitedly. Hansol explains that his flatmates aren’t home yet and that both Mingyu and Chan had plans tonight. He giddily reveals that he thought it’d be a lonely night for him, but now that Seungkwan is here, it’ll be like their university days and Seungkwan is just not quick enough to stop him from ordering chicken and beer.
And of course, they fall back into bed again. In between shared stories of their days, chicken wings and opened cans of beer.
Because they are two, healthy, young males with a normal amount of sexual drive and sex is a human necessity that they can provide to each other, it is only expected that they gravitate around each other like the moon and the earth.
If Seungkwan thinks about it, this has always been inevitable. Back when they were in school where all they knew were uncertainties, they started growing up and getting closer. Despite friends and companions frequently pointing out how different they are, they are still strikingly similar. Midnight walks where they pour their senseless thoughts over convenient store bought ice creams do that to people.
When Seungkwan had the shocking realization over his sexuality and Hansol told him how it was alright and that he’d be there for him unconditionally, Seungkwan swore from then on that he would extend the same courtesy. So when Hansol’s own sexual crisis came into being, Seungkwan held him, giving him the same stability and security that he was afforded months ago.
They knew each other well enough, and as teenagers with hormones running rampant, they both decided to know each other, in and out. Back then they’ve come to an important conclusion that as best friends who are both interested in the not so fairer sex, they can do things together so that they can learn and not be scared.
In learning, they find their firsts.
Their first kiss was in Hansol’s room, frustrated over a lab report where their results clearly contradict their hypothesis. Seungkwan was so close to pulling his hair out and he kept on complaining about the lab conditions when Hansol had the brilliant idea to shut him up by innocently pecking him on the lips. Seungkwan remembers shutting up for a good minute while Hansol laughs at him. Then onwards, they start to hug each other, their fingers linger on each other’s skin when they touch, and sweet, shy kisses become common when they are left alone. To Seungkwan, to touch is to comfort. To Hansol, to kiss is to assure.
At some point, they talk about their bodies and curiosities.
Their first tumble into bed was in Seungkwan’s dorm room. His roommate was out and they were sharing weird dreams. Eventually, they veer into sexual territory, and this time, it’s Seungkwan who becomes cheeky, deliberately touching Hansol while his best friend describes a particularly vivid wet dream which started out humorous but is slowly turning into reality.
And then, Seungkwan looks up at Hansol confessing that he’s seen videos of guys on their knees, using their mouths to explore and pleasure. He remembers Hansol nodding, shyly offering himself up as a solution to his curiosity, and well, Seungkwan would have never refused such an offer. Unfortunately, that night is also the first time he learns just how difficult it is to have blue balls and have an overly friendly but endearingly intrusive roommate like Soonyoung.
Seungkwan’s reminiscing is broken when Hansol collapses bonelessly into his clavicles. Despite the sweltering heat, he wraps his arms around the boy tightly. Hansol’s short puffs of breath refresh his soaked skin and tickle him at the same time. He brings up a hand to Hansol’s cropped, silver hair and threads his fingers through, hearing Hansol sigh against him.
“Sol,” reminiscing has lit a curiosity in Seungkwan. “Has anyone ever asked you out?”
Hansol smushes his face into Seungkwan’s chest before lifting himself up and looking at him with a brow comically raised. “Huh?”
“I think the last time I was asked out was when we were in university,” Seungkwan tries to remember if there was a time after their graduation that he was asked out; but he comes up blank. So far, there has only been one guy he can remember that clearly invited him to do something that is outside their quite extensive friend group.
Hansol hums in understanding. “Oh yeah, Moonbinie. Did you go out with him? I remember you would always ask me to go along with you.”
“Oh, I can’t believe I am only realizing now that he asked me out as a date,” Seungkwan confesses, while he did remember being asked out, he never thought it to be romantic.
Hansol bursts into unbridled laughter, clearly enjoying the realization that Seungkwan is going through.
“Really! Now that I think about it, those could have been dates! But you were with me! Did you know those were dates the whole time? It’s not funny, Sol!” Seungkwan exclaims with an accompanying hit to Hansol’s bare shoulder.
Hansol stops laughing, wiping away the tears on his eyes, he shrugs. “Well, I knew he was wanting it to be a date, but you’ve always been adamant at dragging me along to your outings.”
“I can’t believe it,” Seungkwan goggles at him. There is the memory of Hansol assisting Seungkwan in throwing a bowling ball while Moonbin booed at them playing in the forefront of his mind. “I could have been dating Moobinnie the whole time!”
“You were really dumb,” Hansol offers it in such a deadpan manner but Seungkwan can tell that he is itching to laugh at him.
“I’m not the only idiot!” Seungkwan exclaims defensively, recalling that Hansol also had his fair share of idiocy in university. “If I remember correctly, we still slept and had sex together.”
“Well yeah we’d have sex. You’ve never said no to me,” Hansol retorts smugly with a playful finger tracing down the middle of Seungkwan’s chest.
Seungkwan ignores the teasing and resists the urge to agree, after all Hansol has always been his go to for a lot of things, sex included. “Be that as it may, it still doesn’t answer my question of whether you’ve been asked out?”
Hansol pauses in his ministrations and finally, answers thoughtfully. “Hmmm, I honestly don't know. Maybe it’s the same for me? I might not have known I was being asked out.”
“So, we are indeed gay idiots,” Seungkwan says it with such surrender that has Vernon giggling into him. And like children who just stumbled into the brilliance of a well timed pun, they descend into laughter while they hold onto each other.
“My lungs,” Seungkwan laments, slightly out of breath due to excessive laughter. “We are idiots. We could have been dating the whole time!”
Hansol peels himself away from the embrace, shifting to lay on his front and resting his chin in his hands; he considers Seungkwan. “Maybe we are.”
His quiet question is a sharp difference from their giggling fit. In three words, Seungkwan sobers up immediately. “What?”
Seungkwan looks at Hansol with confusion in his eyes, and for the first time in their friendship, Hansol feels misunderstood. “Maybe,” Hansol closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing. “Maybe, it’s us. Maybe, it’s us who have been dating all along?”
Seungkwan neither moves nor responds, he watches Hansol sit up and his discarded clothes. There’s a rush to Hansol’s movements which he cannot understand. Before Hansol can even stand up from his own bed, his hand shoots up. Seungkwan holds Hansol closely. Hansol turns back around and assesses him. “Sol, we’re best friends, right?”
Hansol nods once. “Of course we are,” he says with that gummy smile of his, but Seungkwan knows Hansol. Seungkwan sees that his smile does not reach his eyes so he tightens his grip on Hansol’s wrist.
“We’re best friends, Boo,” Hansol reassures him, and finally Seungkwan lets go of him
Seungkwan watches Hansol turn away from him and head to the bathroom. If Hansol says it’s fine, then it’s fine, but somehow, he can’t help but think that something wrong has been said.
Seungkwan finds himself taking off his shoes and leaving them on the rack at 10 in the evening. He can hear Seokmin and Soonyoung talking loudly in the kitchen and he follows the noise, suspecting that the two are probably enjoying a late night snack. What greets him is Seokmin and Soonyoung and Chan having a boisterous dinner together. In the middle of the kitchen table was their portable stove and a huge pan of pork cuts.
“Oh, Chan? What are you doing here?” Seungkwan says as he approaches them. He sits on the sole, empty chair at the table, and eagerly gets himself chopsticks. Despite having dinner at Hansol’s, he believes that it would always be bad form to ignore samgyupsal whenever there was one cooking.
“Hi Seungkwan hyung, nothing, just dropped by with Soonyoung hyung,” Chan turns to him and looks at him questioningly. “I thought you were at our flat? Hansol hyung was pretty excited to have you over!”
Soonyoung immediately latches on to this and he looks over Seungkwan with some degree of approval. “Oh, so that’s where you were, huh Kwan?”
Before Seungkwan could even ask what was up with him, Seokmin chimes in. “And here I thought you’ve been unnecessarily staying back at work again.”
“Yeah, well, I did come from Hansol’s. I finished work early and wanted to hang out with him again,” he says, if he sounded a bit defensive, it was only because Soonyoung and Chan were looking at him weirdly.
“Hang out?! Sure, Kwan,” Soonyoung says with an unbecoming sneer. “Pass me the meat, Seok, I think the grill is ready.
Seokmin hands over the plate dutifully. “I guess hang out is what they call it these days.”
“Don’t they call it netflix and chill?” Chan chimes in, helping Soonyoung on arranging the meat slices on the grill while completely ignoring the daggers that Seungkwan has been glaring at the three of them.
Seungkwan is reminded of the frustration that Hansol felt with Chan’s teasing a few days back and this time he completely understands where it came from. “Seriously, you three need to get lives of your own. I pray for the day you three get real best friends of your own so you don’t get to make fun of me like this.”
Seokmin whips to face him and it makes Seungkwan feel a bit dazed. “Wait, what did you say?”
At the same time, Soonyong pauses his cooking and points his chopstick at him. “Did you say best friends?”
Seungkwan rolls his eyes at them, clearly, they are being over dramatic. “Yes, I mean, aren’t Hansol and I, the best of friends?”
Best friends who fuck, yes, but they do not need to know that tiny bit. At least not from him, yet.
“Oh wow ,this is worse than I thought,” Chan looks at him like he’s judging if his brain is completely fine.
“Wow is right, Chan,” Soonyoung agrees, popping a slice of cooked pork in his mouth. “Give me your plates, let’s cut this up.”
Soonyoung cuts up the grilled slivers of meat and divides them equally among the four of them. Seungkwan accepts his part gracefully despite the irritation he feels at being the topic of discussion. He thinks it would have been much better if he had gone straight to bed instead. When everything has been divided up, they dig into their plates, trading spices, kimchi, leaves, roasted garlic, and lettuce.
“I don’t get it,” Seokmin mumbles after swallowing a mouthful of samgyupsal. “Aren’t we your best friends?”
Seungkwan stares at his flatmates hard. He can’t believe these two are on their jealous best friend campaign again. “You guys are my best friends, but Hansol is my BEST best friend.”
“No that’s not what I don’t understand,” Seokmin hurriedly explains. “What I don’t understand is why you think you and Hansol are just best friends.”
“That’s right,” Soonyoung nods earnestly. “You text each other “I love you”’s. We’re your friends and you’ve never said “I love you” to us.”
Seungkwan sputters at Soonyoung’s nonchalant explanation. “You know what, I can’t let it go, how do you even know that?”
“I look over your shoulder when you text him during our movie nights,” Soonyoung reveals. “It’s distracting to be sat next to you during a horror movie and then your screen lights up and I see it.”
“And that’s why you don’t really get “I love you” texts from me, you, sSonyoung hyung are inherently unlovable,” Seungkwan retorts. “Plus, you don’t have to sit with me! Sit with Seokmin hyung if it bothers you so much!”
“You wound me so,” Soonyoung says with a shrug.
“Regardless of Soonyoung hyung's questionable behaviours, the fact remains that it is only Hansol that you text “I love you” to. You really only include sweet texts in your messages to us when we do you a favor.” Seokmin says, eyeing him critically.
“We recognize and acknowledge this blatant favoritism, by the way,” Soonyoung needlessly backs up Seokmin.
In the middle of the dramatics of the two hyungs, Seungkwan throws a glance at Chan who was quietly stealing some of the cooked pieces in Soonyoung’s second round of grilling.
“I don’t really care,” Chan suddenly speaks out, he probably felt the stare that Seungkwan was laying on him. “I’m pretty sure, Hansol hyung has me as his favorite dongsaeng.”
“You’re not,” Seungkwan quickly dashes Chan’s hopes. “That goes to Hangyeol.”
“She doesn’t count, hyung. She’s a blood relative, I’m not,” Chan confidently proclaims.
Seungkwan snorts in response and joins Chan in pilfering meat, ignoring the Soonyoung’s slanted gaze, boring into Seungkwan’s entirety.
Seokmin’s chopsticks smite theirs. “You two, stop eating all the meat, let it cook first!”
Soonyoung doesn’t seem to mind the thievery because he turns to face Seungkwan instead of minding the grill. Seungkwan readies himself for another intrusive line of questioning; during these times , he seriously wonders why he still decided to stick with Soonyoung as a flatmate when years of sharing a dormitory in university has proven to him time and time again that Soonyoung just does not let things go.
“But, seriously Seungkwan,” Soonyoung starts in a hyung voice. He doesn’t use it much, but it’s the voice that Seungkwan has come to associate with crossed lines. “After all these years, you and Hansol?”
Seungkwan grits his teeth. “I really don’t know what you’re trying to say here.”
“Hey, no need to get defensive about anything,” Soonyoung raises his hands up. “I’m just asking because I am just curious. I mean, everyone knows in our group what you guys are up to, but I really just want to know if you know you’re dating or not.”
And there it is, Soonyoung truly is the brave one among his friends, Seungkwan thinks. “Why do you want to know?”
Soonyoung does not cower. “As a friend, I’m just concerned about you two. Blurred lines are always difficult to navigate.”
“We are best friends,” Seungkwan repeats for the nth time. He ignored the quip about blurred lines, what do they know anyway?
Soonyoung examines him, as if he was an investigator looking for holes in his alibi. “Ok, if you say so.”
The intensity of his stare is making him itch. And it does not help that his weird conversation with Hansol earlier is still fresh in his brain. Seungkwan does not care if he comes across as rude at this point. “Hyung, it’s really not your business.”
There’s a coldness in Seungkwan’s voice that makes Seokmin hurriedly take over the grill, and makes Chan shrink back in his seat. As for Soonyoung, he leans back but he does not go back to grilling.
Seungkwan looks at the pointed expression on Soonyoung’s face and finds himself drying up. He wishes he drank more beer at Hansol’s if he knew that he was going to go home to this kind of talk; and then he clears his throat, trying to swallow down the bitter anger he feels. “Is there soju? You guys, having samgyupsal without soju is basically illegal.”
It is Seokmin who answers him and gestures to the refrigerator. “We’ve stocked up.”
“I’ll pay for my share then, thanks,” Seungkwan smiles at him. He stands up to leave the table and look for the soju . After successfully locating a bottle with a soft aha, he opens it and drinks straight from it.
He drinks with unsated thirst, gulp after gulp of slicing alcohol until he had basically emptied one bottle. He puts the empty bottle on the counter and takes another one to the table. His flatmates, plus Chan, all look at him in shock as he opens his second bottle. He raises an eyebrow at them, whatever, it’s not like he’ll be drinking their entire stash of soju anyway.
Seungkwan can never call himself a good drinker. Sure he has never had bad episodes while drinking but that is more due to the fact that he does not overindulge in alcohol and he knows his limits well enough, not because he has a high alcohol tolerance. Finishing two bottles of soju completely on his own and knowing that he could still drink more if he wanted has always been a point of pride for himself.
He has already had a few cans of beer and the two bottles of soju is more than enough to have him sated and yet he still wants; but tonight, he stops at two bottles. Although his brain tells him he could and would be able to stomach drinking more, he halts, the want feels different in him tonight. It’s an itching that craves from the pit of his stomach to the skin under his fingernails.
Seungkwan is left alone. Chan has left the flat despite their urging for him to stay over for his safety. Soonyoung and Seokmin have taken it upon themselves to accompany Chan downstairs, hoping to flag a cab safe enough for their youngest.
Sitting on his own on the kitchen table, surrounded by the evidence of a messy dinner, Seungkwan sighs and decides to clean up. He throws away the empty bottles of soju and the plastic wrappings of meat and veggies. After that, he gathered the empty plates, used chopsticks and the grilling plate, walking with hands full towards the sink.
The water flows heavy during this time, probably because it is already 12:45 in the morning and the pipes must have finally gotten a reprieve from the dinner rush; and now they are operating with a vengeance, aggressively pouring on the dirtied items. He takes a sponge and pumps dish soap on it sparingly. Squeezing the sponge, the soap bubbles and suds fly up; Seungkwan starts scrubbing.
Meditating over washing dishes, Seungkwan’s thoughts meander over to Hansol. He wonders if Hansol is asleep now and thinks, quite confidently, that it is unlikely that Hansol would not be asleep. They have just had mindblowing sex, good food and a decent amount of beer, anyone would be at the prime condition to sleep after that. In fact, if Seungkwan had not chanced upon his flatmates having dinner, he would have been asleep by now too.
He finishes rinsing the dishes and gets around to setting them on the drying rack. Then he wipes the counter and the table down. Once he’s satisfied with the cleanliness of the kitchen, he switches the lights off and heads to his own room. The main hallway is shrouded in darkness; he realizes that Soonyoung must have left the lights off, thinking that lights on the kitchen would still be on by the time the two came back, so Seungkwan switches the hallway pin lights.
Entering his room, Seungkwan is greeted by his pristine bed awash in moonlight coming from the balcony doors. It’s inviting, but he is struck at how awake he feels in this moment. It must be the soju, he thinks as he takes off his jacket, pants and dress shirt. He is left in nothing but his boxer shorts and undershirt and he contemplates lighting a candle but decides to switch on his dock and listen to music. Melodic guitar riffs blare out of his speakers, and he makes a beeline for the balcony with Hunger Strike playing in the background.
Seoul glitters at 1 in the morning. In the downtown area, from his vantage point, one would think that Korea never sleeps. There are bright lights abound and in the distance, punching through the darkness of buildings and silhouetting them at the same time. There is a calm in the frenetic movement in the city that would typically lull Seungkwan to sleep but tonight he is alert and restless.
He looks at the nightscape and takes his phone out, angles it so and captures it. He forwards the snapshot to Hansol, not really expecting any response, when his phone lights up immediately.
sol 1:12 am
woah
Fuck it, he thinks as he presses the video call button. Before Hansol can even pick up the call, he switches the camera to show the view instead of his face. It rings a little more until Hansol finally picks up and Seungkwan is assaulted with the view of Hansol’s sleepy face, resting atop mismatched deep blue and bright red patterned pillows.
“Boo? Where are you?” Hansol asks, on screen, his eyes look around frantically for clues of where Seungkwan could be, despite obviously fighting off a yawn.
Seungkwan finds it adorable, he tries his best not to giggle at Hansol lest Hansol takes it wrongly, so instead he turns to the nagging route. “Yah! Why’d you pick up! Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
Hansol shakes his head at him and chortles, the sound of it accompanies the soft EDM that plays on Seungkwan’s end. The question is ignored between them, it’s not really important. Hansol knows that Seungkwan likes to be contrary sometimes just because he could. “I always pick up when you call.”
Seungkwan huffs at him. It’s true, he would do the same for Hansol. He’s never set his phone to silent for three people in his life: his mom, his dad, and Hansol.
From the balcony, Seungkwan hears his playlist clearly, and he briefly wonders if Hansol hears what is playing. He makes a 90 degree turn, showing off the view of his little corner of Seoul while humming along to the english lyrics that he can’t quite catch. His unasked question gets answered when Hansol starts humming along with him. The song is one of Hansol’s favorites, something he’s added to their shared playlist. And suddenly, he is treated to Hansol’s own concert, Hansol belts out comically, his deep vocals replaced by an unnatural falsetto.
“I wanna testify, scream in the holy light, you bring me back to life, and it’s all in the name of love! In the name of love.”
Seungkwan does not even hear the original singer. It’s just Hansol and the name of love.
When people write about realizing that they have fallen in love, it always ends up being a quiet consummation. It manifests softly in the person, a whisper of an “Oh!” is the only outward indication that something changed. They always talk about how it was an imperceptible shift, that feels like it’s always been there all along and they were too stupid to realise it.
But for Seungkwan, the realization comes as a punch to his guts. He can admit to feeling a bit drunk and tipsy earlier, but this actualization of love is vaporizing the alcohol in his stomach. It wasn’t the soju that kept him awake, it was the constant churning in his chest which sublimates every instance of sexual encounter and each single affectionate touch between them into esse, set off by Hansol’s innocent suggestion of whether they have been dating all along. Realizing he loves Hansol is watching him headbang aggressively and lose himself to the music after the beat drops, and the fulfillment of this love is like the high trill of the synths, piercing and punctuated.
Seungkwan smiles at the image of Hansol on-screen. Hansol had his eyes closed, head swaying to the beat, teeth biting lips in obvious satisfaction. When the song ends, he sorts himself out, sheepishly pulling back after his impromptu performance that has brought Seungkwan back to life.
“Boo?”
“I’m here, Sol, nice concert!” Seungkwan teases him, because Seungkwan’s first instinct after a tectonic shift is making everything into a joke. It’s the entertainer in him.
Thankfully, Hansol does not take Seungkwan’s jeering to heart which is very much an Aquarius trait, they’ve always been so receptive of people they find joy in, or so that’s what Seungkwan thinks. “Yeah, just felt like it. You know how that’s one of my favorite songs.”
“I know, I’m playing our shared playlist,” Seungkwan confesses. “Wanna guess what the next song is?”
“If it’s not on shuffle I’m pretty sure it would be Human.”
“It’s on shuffle.”
“Ah that’s just hard, Kwannie! What do I even get if I get it right?”
“My unfailing devotion,” Seungkwan immediately answers.
“Don’t I already have that?” Hansol returns cheekily.
Seungkwan audibly gasps, not at the audacity of Hansol but at the stray thought that he caught and that is the belief that regardless of the answer, the devotion is there, ready for the taking should Hansol desire it. He doesn’t say it though. “Yah, you’re shameless! Just guess.”
“Hmmm, ok, It’s Starlight. Starlight by Taeyeon and Dean.”
As if on cue, Taeyeon’s voice drifts out of the speakers proclaiming that love is amazing.
“Oh my! You’re right!” Seungkwan thrusts his phone towards his room so that Hansol can hear it louder. “Really, that’s fucking unreal.”
Hansol grins at him. “Love is amazing indeed. And since I already have your unceasing devotion, I demand my prize to be your selfie cam!”
“Nope,” Seungkwan says petulantly. “And you don’t have my devotion, yet.”
“Come on, let me see you,” Hansol urges and this time he says it with a pout. “I love the view but I’d rather look at you now.”
Seungkwan is convinced, because ultimately, he’s always been weak for Hansol and he only acts contrary because he can; he switches the front camera on and on the screen he sees himself flushed, hair in disarray and wonders if Hansol can tell he’s in love, or that he’s drunk. Either way, Hansol is smiling so sweetly at him, so it cannot be that bad.
“There you are,” Hansol says in that low voice of his, looking at Seungkwan as if he was the arrival of Halley’s Comet; elusive, anticipated and awe-inducing. It’s that look that has Seungkwan shifting away quickly in embarrassment. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
The question returns, hanging in their midst.
Seungkwan licks his lips, it’s too early to dump his revelations. “I couldn’t sleep, I was thinking.”
Hansol hums and shifts positions on his bed. He’s now on his front and he has his head rested on a Spiderman stuffed toy. “You always did like thinking.”
Sometimes Hansol has a way of ruffling Seungkwan’s feathers that Seungkwan falls into perfectly with hackles raised. “Naturally! People should like thinking more! We could all use thinking as a hobby.”
Hansol grins at him with a shake of his head. He doesn’t let Seungkwan stay too long on his thinking rant, it’s a rant that’s always touched up on and Hansol knows that Seungkwan uses it as a diversionary tactic. “No, seriously, Kwannie, what’s up?”
It’s now or never it seems. Seungkwan takes a deep breath and closes his eyes momentarily. When he opens them, Hansol is patiently staring at him and he is comforted a bit. It will be alright, he has to brave this, because Hansol did it earlier and now the ball was irrevocably on his side of the court. He would not defer, his mother did not raise him as a quitter.
“I was thinking about us,” Hansol starts to open his mouth in response but Seungkwan is quick; he raises a hand to stop whatever it is that Hansol might want to say. “I have been thinking about us, for the past week now, maybe. I don’t know. You know what’s crazy, it’s not even Valentine’s or White Day, but it’s like I see couples everywhere. And you’re right, I love thinking. So of course, it set me on a course of questioning things.
“And then, I asked myself why the hell do I see so many people pairing up. What is up with that? Is it a delay in cuffing season? And to be honest, I felt like I was missing out. FOMO and all that shit,” Seungkwan swallows for a bit, there is just no stopping the word vomit is there? “And then every time I think I am missing out, I remember you.”
“Me?” Hansol’s eyes widen and he even points at himself, as if there was another “You” that Seungkwan was referring to.
“Yeah, you. I remember the night you said you’ll come over around this time.”
It is clear to Seungkwan that Hansol has questions, but Hansol does not dare to interrupt, he nods at Seungkwan to continue.
“To be honest, I don’t even know what I was thinking of that time,” Seungkwan says, his eyes trained at a red light in the distance, anything to avoid looking at the screen where he can feel Hansol’s eyes follow him religiously. “Were we going to have sex? We’ve always done it at your place ever since we’ve moved out of the dorms. And then when you left for work, Soonyoung hyung and Seokmin hyung kept teasing me.”
Seungkwan pauses. Hansol is silent on the screen, intent on listening to him, and he decides that he cannot bear the intensity of Hansol’s stare right now so he turns off the video call. It felt like he had said too much.
Hansol calls, predictably, because he knows Seungkwan best; he knows when to push and pull. Seungkwan slides the call button to the voice only option and lifts it to his ear.
“Kwan, I’m here, I’ll listen, please just talk.”
There’s a pleading in Hansol’s voice that makes Seungkwan surrender.
“I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole tonight, or this morning, and maybe last night too. I swear, I’m just so embarrassed, and I couldn’t handle the way you were looking at me so. I guess thanks for calling me.”
“You’re not an asshole, come on Kwan, just let it off your chest,” Hansol says soothingly. Now, instead of seeing him, Seungkwan is free to imagine him instead, there’s less pressure in his visualization of Hansol.
Seungkwan gathers his wit and tries again. “So yeah, I said I had FOMO for a relationship, I guess. Maybe it’s been there a long time ago, but I see us in all the couple scenarios. When the hyungs started pointing it out, and teasing me about it, at first I was uncomfortable because they didn’t know how long we had been sleeping together and I was irritated. They have no right to assume things about us based on one night. And then you told me about Chan, and did you know Chan was here for dinner?”
“Yeah,” Hansol says. “He sent a text to me and Mingyu hyung, and Seokmin hyung texted me when he got in a cab. I heard him come in before you sent me the picture.”
The picture feels like ages ago to Seungkwan. This call is officially set in a different era and dimension. “Oh, ok, that’s good, I hope he texted Seokmin and Soonyoung hyung.”
“He probably did.” Hansol clears his throat. “So…”
Seungkwan takes the bait. “And then you told me about Chan. How he has probably assumed the same things that the hyung assumed about us. You were flustered about Chan and I thought, we felt the same way. It’s embarrassing isn’t it?”
When Seungkwan doesn’t say anything else, Hansol ventures out. “What’s embarrassing?”
“It’s embarrassing to act in an unfamiliar play that everyone knows the ending to but yourself.”
There is silence, and Seungkwan wonders if things make sense to Hansol, because if he’s honestly speaking, he has been putting off saying what he really wants to say. His tongue is stringing and tangling his words together. He hears Hansol sigh on the other side and he braces himself.
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Hansol breathes out. “Is that why you asked me if I was ever asked out?”
Seungkwan chews on his lips before answering. “I guess. I’m not lonely, Hansol. And like I said earlier, I thought I was missing out on dating, on being with someone. I thought I was alone the whole time, but then, there’s you and you’re always with me and I am always with you. I’ve never been lonely, not when you’re here.”
There is a sharp intake of breath and Seungkwan hopes, for the sake of his stuttering heart, that Hansol would say something to ease the nerves.
“We are best friends, Seungkwan.”
“We are best friends who say I love you to each other,” Seungkwan cannot help but chide in return. He felt like hurling. Forget about realizing that he’s in love. Those were drunk imaginations, and this anchor in his stomach is the punishment for drinking beer and soju, eating both chicken and samgyupsal in one night alone.
“That’s true,” Hansol concedes. Seungkwan is disappointed, is that all he has to say? He feels cheated, all the time he spent considering things that Hansol brings up in him is for nought.
A hush descends upon them. Seungkwan is tempted to cut off the call. He has obviously misunderstood things. It feels like being in Hansol’s room again, but now, instead of Seungkwan saying something wrong, it was him hearing something wrong.
Hansol breaks the quiet. “Do you want to go for ice cream?”
Seungkwan almost gets a whiplash at the unexpected question. “Ice cream? At 1:30 AM?”
“We’ve always done it before,” Hansol reasons out. “Should I meet you halfway?”
“Why? I mean, why are you doing this?”
“Because I know you’re freaking out, and I need to see you. So ice cream in 15?”
Well, if Hansol put it that way, Seungkwan has no reason to refuse so he agrees, ends the call, and books a Kakao Taxi to their usual convenience store.
Hansol sees Seungkwan first, because in the dark of the night, Seungkwan stands out thanks to his larger than life personality and his screaming, pink jacket. He approaches Seungkwan with a huge smile, holding out a hand for him to take. When Seungkwan lifts his hand up, he immediately grabs it and stuffs it in the pocket of his oversized black hoodie. The action closes the distance between them and they walk into the convenience store, hands held together and hidden.
The cashier does not even bat an eye at them, too busy answering a crossword puzzle. The convenience store is completely still, save for the humming of the airconditioning and refrigeration. There is an old KPOP song playing in the background and Hansol snorts at the way the universe works. The Reason Why Opposites Attract sung by G.O.D is on full blast, and he swears that life has a sick kind of humor that people rarely recognise or appreciate.
Hansol squeezes Seungkwan’s hand in his as they make their way to the freezers which makes Seungkwan turn to him questioningly. He immediately lifts a pointer finger up in response. “Listen to the song.”
Seungkwan purses his lips at him and turns a peculiar shade of pink as soon as he figures out the song and which lyrics they are hearing now. Hansol playfully nudges him and Seungkwan rolls his eyes at him, trying to pull away from his hold but he is not letting go so Seungkwan ignores him instead, in favour of ice creams.
Seugkwan grabs a mint-choco ice cream while Hansol picks a cookie and cream ice cream sandwich, then they head towards the drinks section and grab a liter of water. They go back to the cashier who doesn’t even lift his eyes off his crossword while scanning their products. They ended up leaving the bills for their goods, not even bothering to collect their change and soon enough they stepped out of the store.
In this area, there is a park with a small playground that has a swing installed. The park is only a few minutes from the convenience store and they trace the steps familiar to them as they have done so many times before. Despite their awkward and tensed phone conversation earlier, they walk comfortably in the middle of the night. The crunching of the pavement under their feet is their only accompaniment.
That is until Hansol decides to stage an encore. “It seems like we can be in love.”
“What?” Seungkwan asks, bewildered at the sudden singing.
Hansol raises a brow at him, and then repeats what he sung, slowly. “It seems like we can be in love.”
Recognition dawns on Seungkwan’s face and Hansol gets to enjoy the flaming of his cheeks again. There’s a shit eating grin on Hansol’s face and he thinks it’s a good thing that there is no one around because Hansol’s joke singing is a tad mortifying.
“Come on, Kwannie, I know you know the song,” Hansol cajoles. “It seems like we can be in love. Even though we are so different from each other, love is so mysterious. We live and we wonder if it will come or not, that’s love.”
Seungkwan picks up from where he left off, encouraged by Hansol’s incessant nudging and bright smile. “We seem close, it’s not just in my dreams. We make each other laugh. I think I’m happy whenever I’m with you. It seems like it is love.”
They repeat the song, louder at each rendition. They look like idiots belting out a classic in the middle of the street. Hansol wonders if they could be classified as delinquents with all the ruckus they’re causing now, but seeing Seungkwan with cheeks flushed, singing ridiculously despite his God-given talent of a great voice and singing prowess is worth a misdemeanour.
They continue looping the chorus until they reach the park. With the playground in view, Hansol lets go of Seungkwan’s hand and like old times, they make a mad dash for the sole swing.
Seungkwan wins and plops his butt down on the swing immediately. “I win! Hansol, push me!”
Hansol shakes his head at him, usually he’d argue with Seungkwan for the swing, but tonight is for Kwan, so he agrees. He gives the plastic bag containing their ice cream and water bottle to Seungkwan, and pulls the swing back as far as he can. Then he lets go and he savours Seungkwan indulging his inner child. Between pushing and pulling, Seungkwan manages to unwrap his ice cream sandwich and hand it over to him. They continue swinging and eating their ice creams in silence. They don’t talk, and somehow, Hansol thinks it’s better this way, this way, they can just enjoy each other’s company with no strings attached.
After some rounds, Seungkwan hasn’t given up his claim to the swing. Hansol has finished his ice cream; exhaustion and lack of sleep finally catches up to him so he stops pushing Seungkwan on the swing. He sets himself down on the sand, right in front of Seungkwan’s knees.
Hansol looks up at Seungkwan who was finishing his own ice cream. The moon is bright behind Seungkwan, despite that, he can clearly make out the features of his face even under the shadow of the moon. He brings his hands up to hold onto the chains of the swings and stops it from moving. Seungkwan tilts his face and pouts at him, the ice cream stick hanging out his lips.
He pulls the swing closer to him, and lays his chin down on Seungkwan’s knees. Like a thought unbidden, the last line of the song comes back to him and he can’t help but repeat it. “So why is everything so good whenever they’re together?”
“It is good, right?” Seungkwan says, removing the ice cream stick from his mouth and pocketing it.
“Right, we are good together,” Hansol smiles at the gesture, Seungkwan was a diligent rule follower, he would never litter and Hansol bets that he’ll forget to throw the stick later on. “Don’t you think we have been dating all this time?”
Hansol watches Seungkwan bite his lips. There it is, the vulnerability that Boo Seungkwan tries his best to hide from people, surfaces and only Hansol has the privilege of seeing it in its full glory. “Are we? Do you want us to be?”
It is just so typical of Seungkwan to return his question with another question. He understands that Seungkwan has a lot on his head and that he gets paralyzed in his own thoughts that Seungkwan would rather live with the uncertainty, and go along with the push and pull. But this time, Hansol cannot let it pass. Not with what happened tonight in his flat, during the call and now this. He owes it to Seungkwan.
“I will go first, but promise me Seungkwan, that when I tell you my answer, you will also tell me yours. No more swinging and playing. I think we’re both adults now and we owe each other some honesty.”
Seungkwan nods after a stretch. “Alright.”
Hansol takes a deep breath, he locks his eyes on Seungkwan’s in a silent plea for him to see him. “At first, I think we were stupid, we rushed into sex and kept doing it over and over again, and then it became comfortable, and I didn’t mind not being asked out or dating others because I had you. I don’t know about you, but the first few times we were together, I was so afraid I’d lose you as a friend, because even if I didn’t know it before, I knew we were good together, whatever form or shape, we were good for each other and with each other.
“Boo, we’re best friends. We’re best friends who say “I love you” to each other so many times, I think we forgot to mean it. But the truth is, I want to mean it. The past few weeks, I’ve been saying I love you and that’s because I realised I actually do.”
And there it goes, the leaves of the trees rustle with the release of his confession, as if his truth had that kind of power to move nature, when all he wants is to move the boy he is sitting in front of.
Seungkwan tears up, mouth open in shock. It should make Hansol’s heart break at the sheer confusion that Seungkwan paints on his face, but it only gives him relief; the tension that Hansol feels that has been holding him for so long eases up. He brings a hand up to Seungkwan’s face and catches a tear that’s threatening to fall with his thumb and then scoots closer and sits up straighter. His other hand finds its way to Seungkwan’s nape and he gently pulls him down; searching Seungkwan’s sad eyes for a denial and finding none, he leans up to plant a soft kiss on his lips.
Seungkwan is immobile and his eyes are wide.
Hansol is frozen and his eyes are closed.
Just like in the dramas that they would often watch together and criticize, the two of them are preserved in the closing credits, a dreamlike sequence stored in a snapshot. Hansol imagines that the whistling wind is showering them in multicoloured alyssums and a symphony of strings plays a romantic melody around them that promises sweet anticipation.There would be fairy lights around them, and Hansol thinks Seungkwan would look so handsome under the combination of yellow flickering lights and moonlight.
But they are not in a drama, so there are no flowers, no strings and no fairy lights. It’s just them in the middle of a deserted playground; with a rusting swing, damp sand and distant sounds of patrolling sirens. When Seungkwan shifts and Hansol tastes some saltiness on his lips, he prepares to step back; what if Seungkwan is crying because he doesn’t feel the same way? What if Hansol has inadvertently taken advantage of his best friend?
Then Hansol feels Seungkwan’s lips part against his, the hot breath is welcome balm to his rapidly spiraling thoughts on consent and rejection. He can immediately smell the sweetness of the ice cream in the air. A hand caresses his cheeks and coaxes his jaw gently and he submits to the silent request.
Seungkwan feels cold and tastes fresh and sweet at the same time. There’s a stickiness in their kiss lent by the ice cream they’ve finished and it makes Hansol want for more. It’s as if the sweetness of their dessert has made him parched and Seungkwan is the only source of refreshment. When Seungkwan leans back, Hansol follows hungrily, mouth running after him and never letting go.
Kissing Seungkwan now feels foreign. It’s the same lips, the same tongue, the same mouth that Hansol explores, but the motivation is different. The kiss is suffused with a need and a want that goes beyond fulfilling sex, or providing comfort.
Suddenly, Hansol feels like chasing his own breath, so he reluctantly breaks it off. He is on his knees now, leaving him and Seungkwan at the same height. He leans his forehead against Seungkwan’s, finding the need for support in the face of an unbearable intensity of the kiss that has him feeling dizzy. He can feel Seungkwan nod lightly and then proceed to rub his nose against his. Their breaths intermingle and all Hansol can hear is the drumming of his heart in his ears as Seungkwan peppers kisses across his cheeks and eyelids.
Hansol leans back, opening his eyes as he grazes Seungkwans’s face with his knuckles. He sees Seungkwan with closed eyes and a small smile; his cheeks feel moist but at least he isn’t tearing up anymore. “I love you, Boo Seungkwan.”
Seungkwan’s face scrunches up like he’s about to cry again so Hansol shushes him gently. The pad of his thumb flits over Seungkwan’s swollen and wet lips, serving as a reassurance. “And I know you love me too, Boo. You don’t have to be afraid. We don’t have to be scared anymore, ok?”
Seungkwan nods fervently in his hand and turns his head to leave a kiss on the inside of his palm; as if all the physical cues are what he only has to confirm Hansol’s statement. Hansol clutches at Seungkwan’s cheeks with a promise of understanding. His grip stabilizes Seungkwan and lets him know , that no, Hansol doesn’t mind his silence at all, because the confirmation alone that they do actually love each other is more than enough for him.
“I don’t know how you do it,” Seungkwan mutters. The moon is at a lower point now, a sure sign that it’s absolutely too late for the night, or too early for the next day. He wonders if they would even get any sleep at all.
They are still in the playground, but this time, they have relocated to the slide and left the swings. The slide was a bit wider than normal and its landing was also bigger. Hansol reclines against the slide with Seungkwan laying on top of him, sitting caged between his legs. He hugs Seungkwan loosely as they lay on the surface facing the sky. Hansol has his eyes closed, chest rumbling with deep breaths and Seungkwan thinks that maybe, Hansol has finally fallen asleep. It is pretty late after all.
“Do what?” Hansol answers softly. His voice sounds rough, a contrast to the sweetness he had earlier when he was confessing.
Seungkwan adjusts himself to peek at him. Hansol had one eye open, looking at him quizzically. “Did I wake you?”
“Ah, I don’t think I’ve ever slept with you around.” Hansol comments offhandedly, closing his eyes again in an attempt to tease. “I think we should break up, Kwannie.”
Seungkwan thumps him on the chest, narrowing his eyes. “Liar, you slept fine at mine and you were even snoring.”
Hansol guffaws and squeezes him in return. “Boyfriend Abuse! Help! I just got into a relationship with an abusive man!”
“You are an idiot,” Seungkwan turns back and digs himself further into Hansol’s now laughing chest.
Hansol starts playing with Seungkwan’s arms, fingers tracing lightly on the pink expanse of his jacket. “But, seriously, Boo. What is it that you’re saying I know how to do?”
“I’m just wondering, it seemed like you knew way before I did that we’re, you know, in love?” Seungkwan began strongly, but he putters out in the middle, and finishes with a whisper, as if a louder mention of love would make it run away in fright.
“Ah, that,” Hansol hums and Seungkwan eagerly anticipates his explanation. “I guess it’s just the inevitable revelation that I am the smarter one out of the two of us despite you having higher grades in university.”
Seungkwan rolls his eyes, oh if he only knew loving Hansol was infuriating, he would have done nothing, because Hansol’s humor is a non-negotiable, essential part of his best friend. But, he can still complain. “Hansol…”
“Fine, fine. It’s just the Aquarius in me. Apparently, in Aquarius-Capricorn pairings, the Aquarius ones are the people best attuned to their emotions, while Capricorns boil in their emotion stews.”
Seungkwan sits up and turns around to face the still reclining Hansol. Hansol never fails to surprise him, even after all these years. “You, I can’t believe you.”
Hansol regards him with a barely suppressed smirk, he’s serious about the astrological take yet he can’t help but take the mickey out of it. He stares at Seungkwan, wondering what has got him keyed up now.
Seungkwan points a finger at him and then pokes his chest. “I can’t believe you, you actually listen to my astrology rants!”
Then in a flash, Seungkwan crashes down on him. It’s 2:30 am, Seungkwan curls up on top of Hansol with arms circling around his chest. The morning is cold, and even through the layers that they’re wearing, they can feel the biting wind, but the snug hug is warming every bit of Hansol. They’re facing each other, cheeks flushed and lips stretched in silly grins. It’s an uncomfortably tight fit to be cuddling on top of a metal slide, but that is the least of their concern. In fact, at this moment, their concerns are forgotten. All that is left is this playground, the moon above and a dawn hotter than their days.
“I love you too, Chwe Hansol.”