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What stands out the most is how warm Hoseok is under Yoongi.
There he is - all soft, golden skin and swollen lips. Yoongi’s mouth goes dry just by looking at him. Hoseok’s hair is damp near the roots, bangs sticking to his forehead while a bead of sweat trails down his right temple. His pretty mouth is red, shiny with spit, bottom lip jutting out just so. Yoongi can’t help but lean down and kiss him, tugging on Hoseok’s pout just to hear him whine.
Yoongi’s missed this so much.
“Hyung,” Hoseok gasps, voice fucked up from before, from when Yoongi opened his mouth and fucked it all the way down to his throat. The sound alone makes Yoongi grunt, moving from Hoseok’s lips to his jaw, sucking a bruise right under his sensitive ear.
Yoongi hums, tugging gently at Hoseok’s lobe and thrusts his hips once more. Hoseok’s legs are wrapped tightly around his waist, Yoongi buried deep inside of him.
Hoseok fists Yoongi’s hair, whining when Yoongi doesn’t bulge from his spot on Hoseok’s jaw. “Fuck— stop teasing and fuck me,” he rasps, but his spine arches anyway, calves tensing against Yoongi’s back.
Yoongi smirks before nosing Hoseok’s cheek, pressing a gentle kiss and fucking into him slowly. It drives Hoseok insane, Yoongi knows. Hoseok hyperventilates easily, makes a mess of himself even easier, all hot blooded and so, so human, while Yoongi doesn’t even break a sweat, can fuck him to overstimulation without getting tired.
“I thought I was already fucking you,” Yoongi says, one hand pulling Hoseok’s leg higher, closer to his chest, so that Yoongi can bend and kiss the muscle just above his ankle.
Hoseok lets out a frustrated noise, clenches around Yoongi and Yoongi groans, sinking himself deeper. Maybe Yoongi could go without getting tired, but he sure as fuck couldn’t go without coming apart, not when Hoseok is a panting, flushed mess, eyes rolling back every time that Yoongi presses himself inside.
“You know what I— fuck, you know what I mean,” Hoseok pants. Yoongi experiments with snapping his hips harder this time, sinking into Hoseok’s heat. “Yeah, yeah, like that — like that, but, but faster.”
It’s choked out, really, because Yoongi has been teasing Hoseok from the minute he got home and Hoseok has been hard from even before that, texting him filthy shit all day. It would be cruel if Yoongi didn’t know how much Hoseok craved it - needed to follow the familiar pattern of tensing before releasing. Right now, Hoseok is pent-up, muscles taut and back arched like a bowstring.
Yoongi stops moving once again and Hoseok sobs, one hand fisting the sheets and the other coming to grab Yoongi’s shoulder, digging his nails into the skin. Yoongi hisses but still doesn’t move, pressing his thumb against the corner of Hoseok’s lips, turning Hoseok’s head until he has no choice but to look up.
Hoseok’s eyes are dark, half lidded, lashes curving sweetly. It’s the same look that always fucks Yoongi up. Yoongi drags him up into a messy, open-mouthed kiss, feels how Hoseok melts under him. “Yeah, okay sweetheart — I’ll give you what you need.”
That’s all it takes for Yoongi to start fucking Hoseok in earnest, to grab both of Hoseok’s wrists and pin them over his head. Hoseok writhes and moans as Yoongi gives it to him, as hard as he wants, as hard as he needs. Their lips are still close, Yoongi allowing for Hoseok pant into mouth without closing the gap as he detangles Hoseok’s legs from his back, lowering them in the bed.
Hoseok gets the point, plants his heels on the mattress and opens his body for Yoongi to take even more from him, hips rising to meet Yoongi’s thrusts. Hoseok lets out little mewling sounds that get more broken every time that Yoongi increases his speed, until Hoseok’s body is shaking hard under him. It feels good, it feels so good that Yoongi starts to lose himself a little, trying to pull himself back from his own lust so that Hoseok can have it; trying to keep himself in control so Hoseok won’t need to.
It gets harder to focus when Hoseok starts pulling him down, craving skin contact, craving Yoongi. Yoongi groans, hands framing Hoseok’s hips so he can thrust in deep and find what he is looking for. He knows he did it when Hoseok lets a choked, weak moan escape his lips. Those sounds — Hoseok’s soft gasps and moans, those are the ones that drive Yoongi up a wall. It makes Yoogi press harder against Hoseok’s body, his cock brushing Hoseok’s prostate with every push.
Hoseok’s thighs start trembling, hands fumbling around and that’s how Yoongi knows he’s close. Yoongi loves it, loves seeing Hoseok like that because of him, loves making Hoseok feel good. Hoseok is so warm, so soft, so tight, Yoongi begins to feel himself teetering over the edge too.
“Baby,” Hoseok gasps, fingers twisting on Yoongi’s hair, bringing his head down for a kiss. Yoongi lets him, opens Hoseok’s mouth with his tongue before Hoseok turns his head away, arching his neck. “I need— Yoongi-yah, I need—”
“I know, sweetheart,” Yoongi breathes against Hoseok’s cheek, fucking into him. Yoongi’s so close now, the pleasure of teasing and edging Hoseok for so long taking its toll on him and transforming itself into a hard pressure between his legs, inciting him to grope at Hoseok’s ass and thrust in and out, over and over.
“No— I need,” Hoseok tries, whimpering as Yoongi noses his jaw. “I need—”
Yoongi’s in a haze, his mind unable to comprehend anything but Hoseok right now. He frowns, confused, still fucking Hoseok, trying to milk Hoseok’s orgasm out the way he knows Hoseok needs.
“What—” he raps, but he’s so close, and can feel that Hoseok is too, Hoseok’s hand fumbling through his hair, pushing his head down. Yoongi is so close he doesn’t understand, doesn’t know what Hoseok needs other than this until Hoseok forces Yoongi’s nose against his neck and—
Shit.
Hoseok’s not only warm, he also smells so good, all sweet and vanilla, his sweat only bringing that scent closer to the surface. Under all that, the compelling smell of blood pumping under his glistening skin.
For the first time in forever Yoongi feels his fangs come out without his consent, so, so close to Hoseok’s throat. A chill goes down Yoongi’s spine as he tries to still his hips but Hoseok presses against him, fucking himself on Yoongi’s cock, pressing Yoongi’s mouth agaisnt the soft spot above his collarbone.
“Please, Yoongi-yah, please, can you just,” Hoseok rambles and no, fuck, Yoongi can’t, Yoongi shouldn’t, but his mind is too full of Hoseok for him to be able to think. He knows he should clear his head, should push Hoseok away from him but he can hear it - the steady blood flow thrumming right under Hoseok’s skin.
There’s a reason why Yoongi doesn’t kiss Hoseok’s neck anymore.
“Please—” Hoseok tries again, fingers leaving Yoongi’s hair to dig against Yoongi’s back, sharp nails dragging down hard, hard enough to draw blood.
Something inside Yoongi breaks. He instinctively sinks his teeth down on Hoseok’s delicate throat.
That’s all it takes for Hoseok to wail and come, hips bucking off the bed, ass clenching around Yoongi’s cock and fuck, it’s too much. Hot blood immediately floods his mouth and it’s too fucking much, Hoseok tight around him and Hoseok’s blood is on his tongue. Yoongi’s pace increases even more as he loses any sense of control, as he fucks Hoseok into oversensitivity and chases his own release.
Yoongi only has time to adjust his bite in order to deepen it, Hoseok sobbing under him, before he comes too, hips snapping forward, emptying himself inside Hoseok’s body. Yoongi’s skin feels like it’s on fire - definitely a distinct feeling when compared to how perpetually cold he’s cursed to be. It feels better than anything should.
The cloud of bliss follows him until his hips can no longer keep moving, body collapsing on top of Hoseok. Hoseok whines softly.
Hoseok — shit.
Yoongi feels like he’s suddenly been doused with a bucket of ice cold water. He detaches his mouth from Hoseok’s neck, a bubbling wave of panic forming behind his heart as he presses one of his palms against the wound, not willing to let another drop of blood leave Hoseok’s body.
Hoseok’s pliant, eyes closed, lips upturned into what looks like euphoria. His face is pale, clammy hands no longer holding onto Yoongi but stretched out limply on the sheets. Yoongi feels blood trickling down his chin and wants to throw up.
His unoccupied hand goes to move Hoseok’s jaw, pulling Hoseok’s face towards him. “Hoseok, look at me,” Yoongi says, fingers stroking Hoseok’s cheekbone. “Hoseok, baby, please, please look at me.”
Hoseok lets out a soft noise, maybe annoyed at being bothered during what had probably turned out to be a three minute long orgasm. Yoongi doesn’t care, though, not when he lost control so fucking bad that he bit Hoseok, drank so much from him that Hoseok’s white as sheet. Yoongi feels disgusted towards himself, hates that even now Hoseok’s blood tastes so good on his tongue.
“Hoseok,” Yoongi demands again, but it’s more stern this time, a small demonstration of the panic growing inside him now. “Open your eyes, talk to me.” Yoongi’s commanding tone works as well as it should. He lets out a shaky breath as Hoseok’s eyes flutter open. “Baby, hey, are you okay?”
It’s a stupid question because no, Hoseok isn’t okay, he has a deep wound on his neck and not enough blood on his veins because Yoongi was stupid and selfish enough to steal that from him. The worst, though, is how he knows Hoseok’s answer before any words can come out. He knows it just by looking at the dull ecstasy reflected on Hoseok’s dilated pupils.
Hoseok smiles softly at him, mouth slack. “Feels good,” he whispers before closing his eyes again. Yoongi wants to punch himself. He grits his teeth in frustration before tentatively removing his hand from Hoseok’s neck.
The bleeding appears to have stopped, but his hand is still smeared red. Yoongi feels sick. He tries to detangle himself from Hoseok but Hoseok frowns, clumsy arms trying to reach for him again. It’s a weak thing, but still a better sight than his limp body spread on the bed.
Yoongi sighs, presses a kiss to Hoseok’s forehead - not for him, he doesn’t deserve it, but Hoseok needs it now. Fucking Hoseok, biting him and leaving him cold would be a cruelty that Yoongi would never be capable to do. Not to Hoseok, anyway.
“I’ll be right back.” Yoongi says. Hoseok makes grabby hands at him, eyes still closed, body soft. Yoongi can’t resist laying a kiss on each of Hoseok’s knuckles before getting up. Hoseok will miss Yoongi’s warmth, but he’s still too blissed out to actually care.
Yoongi stands on stiff legs, looks at Hoseok sprawled on the sheets, face passive. The bite on his neck is no longer bleeding but it still stands out. It’s an ugly thing, doomed to become red and purple, staining Hoseok’s otherwise perfect body.
Yoongi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and feels sick. He allows himself one final look at Hoseok before heading towards the bathroom to grab everything he will need to bandage Hoseok’s neck. It won’t make him feel any less shitty, but might make him feel less like a monster.
~
Hoseok wakes up to the feeling of fingers softly combing through his hair. He blinks his eyes open before closing them shut again, brightness assaulting his vision.
“It’s still light outside,” Hoseok mumbles, tongue heavy in his mouth. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
It’s not much of a complaint, though, not when Hoseok nuzzles his head against Yoongi’s palm. His insides feel warm, his heart feels like it's glowing, there’s contentment written all over him and he basks on it.
The fingers on his hair stop and Hoseok whines.
“Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi calls. Hoseok doesn’t want to, but he manages to open his eyes again and forces himself to keep them that way. It becomes an easier task once he gets to face Yoongi’s features, closed off and unreadable, a stark contrast against his gentle fingers on Hoseok’s hair just a second before. “Tell me how you’re feeling.”
It’s not a request as much as it’s a demand. Hoseok’s throat feels tight all of sudden as memories from before flood his mind. Yeah - shit. He tries to sit up but his head protests it right away. He lets himself fall back down on the pillows. Yoongi sucks in an audible breath and Hoseok shudders, still trying to hold Yoongi’s gaze without faltering despite feeling so lightheaded.
“I’m okay,” he says, voice as steady as possible, but it still sounds weak, even to his ears. Yoongi’s jaw is clenched, looks like it has been that way for god knows how long and Hoseok knows he’s fucked. Yoongi’s wearing one of his old oversized shirts, and Hoseok fists its hem, not willing to let Yoongi pull away anytime soon. “Really, hyung, I feel good.”
Yoongi’s eyes keep locked on his until he sighs and looks away, towards the window where light is coming through, making miniscule particles of dust visible against the glass. Yoongi drags one hand down his face, clearly frustrated, but his fingers resumes its ministrations on Hoseok’s strands.
It would be confusing if Hoseok didn’t know better. He tries to sit up again, ordering his back muscles to cooperate. He brings Yoongi closer by his shirt and rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “I swear I’m okay,” he whispers. When Yoongi doesn’t reply he starts to get anxious, begins fiddling with the hem of Yoongi’s shirt. “Please say something.”
Yoongi traces the shell of Hoseok’s ear with a finger before he speaks. Hoseok hates how it feels like the calm before a storm. “I’m sorry.”
Hoseok pulls his face from the crook of Yoongi’s neck to look at him, grabs one of Yoongi’s hands and squeezes. Yoongi’s face is still unreadable, but Hoseok can finally see glimpses of guilt there.
“You know you have nothing to be sorry about,” Hoseok reassures, squeezing Yoongi’s hand again when Yoongi’s expression doesn’t change. “Hyung— you know. You know I like it.”
It’s not a confession, not when it’s an established truth. Yoongi’s hand stills in Hoseok’s hair. “I know,” he says. “And that's why I should also know better than to let you trick me.”
Ah.
Yoongi sounds distant. His touches are gentle, but his tone of voice is aloof. It makes Hoseok’s blood run cold. He knew from the moment he’d woken up that Yoongi wouldn’t be happy, but it’s still hard to face.
“Baby,” Hoseok murmurs, tries to reach for Yoongi’s cheeks only to have his wrists encircled in a strong grip. “Baby— I didn’t…”
“Yes, you did.” Yoongi’s voice cuts and Hoseok shallows, tries to get his wrists free so that he can touch Yoongi but Yoongi won’t allow that, not now. “I fucked up, it’s my fault, I know that but— you still did it.”
Hoseok closes his eyes, unable to face Yoongi anymore. He can try to defend himself all he wants, he can sit and explain to Yoongi how he feels and why he has done it, like they have a million times before, but that won’t change anything. Won’t change the fact that Hoseok tricked Yoongi into this.
It was easy when Hoseok wanted it so bad, when Yoongi did too, but it was still a shitty move, Hoseok knows that. He decides to own up to it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. The room no longer feels warm and bright, all the glowing from before gone. He wants to lie down and let Yoongi spoon him; his body would still be feeling so very good from the afterglow if it wasn’t for this. “You didn’t fuck up, you never do— I wanted it, I asked for it and you gave it to me.”
Yoongi lets out a frustrated noise and moves away, away from Hoseok’s reach and it hurts to feel the cold against his bare arms. “Shit, Hoseok-ah. We’ve talked about this before. So many times.”
They have, at least a hundred times in the last month. It always gets old and they always come back to it. “I am sorry,” Hoseok repeats, voice small. “You shouldn’t feel guilty, though, not when you finally gave me what I’ve been asking for.”
Yoongi snorts and stands up. He’s no longer facing Hoseok. “How can I not feel guilty? Have you taken a look at you?” he messes up his own hair, irritated, disappointment now written all over his face. Hoseok doesn’t know if he’s disappointed at Hoseok or at himself. Probably at both. “Have you taken a look at your neck?”
Hoseok hasn’t. His fingertips brush against his throat, finding a soft gauze there. “You’ve bandaged me up,” he whispers.
That makes Yoongi stare at him, a piercing gaze, and Hoseok almost wishes he hadn’t said anything. Yoongi’s no longer unreadable, now he’s openly distressed, upset, unhappy. There’s a frown between his eyebrows that makes Hoseok wish he could gently massage it away.
“Sure I’ve bandaged you up, Hoseok-ah. Thought that was the least a vampire could do after sucking the life out of his boyfriend's veins.”
And that’s - that’s the worst part of it. Hoseok can handle Yoongi’s cool anger, even Yoongi’s disappointment, but he can’t deal with Yoongi’s guilt, not when it makes his own stomach sink to his feet. “But I feel fine! Listen, hyung, please,” Hoseok tries again, aware of how his voice is getting higher. “It’s not your fault— ”
“Like hell it’s not,” Yoongi grits out. He goes to stand near the window but makes no move to open it, just gazes past it, jaw tight, shoulders hunched up around his ears. “At this point I should know better than to give in to your addiction.”
Hoseok flinches at that word. He feels his blood begin to boil. That again. He gets up on shaky legs and crosses the short distance between them, forcing Yoongi to face him. “I’m not an addict,” he hisses.
He’s not and he doesn’t get why this is always so difficult, why Yoongi keeps denying him the bites. It makes Hoseok feel good. He knows it makes Yoongi feel good too, if the way Yoongi gets hard just from thinking about it is any sort of giveaway. It’s mutual - it’s amazing and Hoseok craves it a little, sure, but he doesn’t depend on it to keep living. He doesn’t.
Yoongi sighs. “Do we have to go through this again?”
“Yes!” Hoseok exclaims. “Because I still don’t get why you make such a huge deal out of this. I got off, I got you off, isn’t that enough?”
They’re face to face now, only a small amount of space between them that somehow feels too much and too little at the same time. They breathe the same air before Yoongi grabs Hoseok by the shoulder and pushes him against the wall. It’s not rough, but it’s assertive.
“It’s a big deal when you bleed into the sheets and it’s my fucking fault,” Yoongi snaps. “It’s a big deal when we haven’t fucked for two weeks and you use that to get me worked up all day before asking me to— to hurt you.” He seethes, making a bit of guilt flare inside Hoseok’s chest again. It’s an infinite circle, Yoongi’s guilt igniting Hoseok’s own. Now they are both guilty, and angry, and upset. “How long have you been planning it?”
Hoseok doesn’t want to be called an addict again, but he also doesn’t want to lie, not when he’s not entirely in the wrong. Yoongi’s so close to him, hands still gripping his shoulders and the wall feels like ice against Hoseok’s back. “For a few days, when I realized we would both get wound up soon enough,” he admits. “It doesn’t change the fact that we haven’t done it in months and I was doing just fine— ”
“You weren’t fine,” Yoongi interrupts, taking Hoseok’s words as a flimsy excuse. He unclenches his hands from Hoseok’s shoulders and steps back. “I didn’t bite you for one month and a half and we basically didn’t have sex during that time, because it’s never enough for you. Not when I don’t bite you.”
Hoseok feels it again, all the jumble of feelings that press against his ribcage everytime he and Yoongi engage in this discussion, time after time. It always brings the worst in them, so many ugly feelings thrown around. Embarrassingly, he feels the corners of his eyes prickling with tears.
“It’s not my fault we didn’t fuck,” he sniffles, voice shaking. His cheeks feel warm and he knows his skin is probably blotched by now. It’s humiliating considering how Yoongi’s standing perfect in front of him, immortalized in his young glory. It always fucks Hoseok up that he’ll break down over and over again and Yoongi will still look pretty next to him. “It just happened. And it’s not my fault that I eventually got horny and asked for you to bite me after we didn’t do it for so fucking long.”
A part of that is bullshit, and some part of Hoseok knows it. His mind wanders back to what was considered to be their last straw. Yoongi had bit him hard enough to stain the sheets and get Hoseok nearly passed out on top of their bedding. He had woken up to the guiltiest expression he had ever seen on Yoongi’s face, but somehow, among all the fucked up things they had done, that weirdly wasn’t their worst. No, that place got reserved for the following moment, for when Hoseok smiled at him, so thankful and still drugged up, mouth slack and neck red. That’s what made Yoongi absolutely lose it.
Hoseok gets it - he does. It probably wasn’t a pretty sight to behold, a loved one with a wounded throat and a blissed out face, but. They both lose themselves on it a little, and that’s what makes it so good. Yoongi gets to taste Hoseok’s blood, to let the taste he craves so much caress his tongue, and Hoseok gets the best high of his life. Maybe it wasn’t their best habit, but it’s also not as bad as Yoongi tries to convince him it is.
Hoseok got so mad last time when Yoongi firmly told him that he would never bite him again. It felt shitty, getting that taken away from him, and he was like a zombie for weeks. They clashed constantly those first days and it was tiring. They fought and yelled and slammed doors.
Hoseok didn’t know why he felt so worn down all the time and Yoongi pointed out that it was because he was addicted to the bite, to the feeling of it, to the point that it fucked his happy brain cells or something. Hoseok didn’t buy it. He was fucked up because he and Yoongi went from blissed highs to nothing at all and that was it.
Admittedly, it only really got better once Hoseok realized that he could get what he wanted - what they both wanted - as soon as Yoongi got tired of his moralizing tirade. Not because Hoseok was an addict, but because it was such a huge part of their relationship, always had been, and being without it felt lacking.
Now, though - now Yoongi’s looking at him with something that Hoseok can only interpret as pity. Hoseok’s eyes burn and he feels the tears finally spill from the corners as he launches himself against Yoongi. To do what he isn’t sure - maybe to push him away, or maybe to haul him closer. “Don’t fucking pity me, asshole,” he punches closed fists on Yoongi’s chest, but there’s no real force behind it. “I’m not a fucking addict!”
To Hoseok’s surprise Yoongi encircles him in his arms, holding him closer. He can feel Yoongi’s chest rising and falling quicker than normal. Yoongi doesn’t need to breathe, but he never lost the habit. Hoseok likes it, it’s one of the only ways he gets to tell if Yoongi’s distressed or not - by the instinct of letting his breathing get ragged.
Yoongi’s gentle thumbs come to rub the tears away from his cheeks. “This won’t happen again, Hoseok,” he says. It’s inflexible, an uncompromising sentence and Hoseok sobs against Yoongi’s chest.
“You’re mean,” he whispers. His neck is so close to Yoongi’s mouth right now, with the way they’re tangled together, Hoseok’s tears soaking the front of Yoongi’s shirt. Hoseok would give a limb for a bite right now, for that glorious high to take him out of the bad feelings clogging his brain. “You’re so cruel to me when you want to.”
Yoongi doesn't flinch, but Hoseok didn’t expect him to. His palms cup Hoseok’s jaw, forcing him to stare at his face with tear rimmed eyes. “I don’t pity you, Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi says, and he sounds way more composed than he did so little time ago. It’s unfair - all of this, it’s so unfair. “I know you’re smart and get that this is wrong, deep down. If it takes you thinking I’m cruel for you to realize it, then so be it.”
And Hoseok. Hoseok just feels worn out again, feels so small against Yoongi’s chest and hates how the feeling is still somehow comforting. He did get Yoongi to cave in this time, but a bubbling fear inside of him tells him that this Yoongi hugging him right now is even more determined than the Yoongi of less than two months ago.
Yoongi won’t bite him anytime soon. The thought of it alone has Hoseok wailing, Yoongi’s fingers still caressing his wet cheeks. “This is so fucking unfair,” he sobs. His face is nestled between Yoongi’s chin and he feels so much distress boiling right behind his heart. He’d woken up feeling so good and Yoongi had taken that away from him.
He doesn’t think before angling his mouth and biting down on Yoongi’s shoulder, hard but not enough to break skin. Yoongi hisses and Hoseok wants nothing more than for Yoongi to grab him by the hair and fuck him senseless until they can forget all this. He thinks he might get what he wants when Yoongi grabs him by the underside of his thighs, hauling him up and dropping him into the bed. Hoseok’s breath catches a little as he bounces and Yoongi crawls over him.
Hoseok opens his mouth, wanting a kiss, needing it. His face is still hot with tears as Yoongi’s hands find his hips and flip him, not on his stomach but on his side. Hoseok tries to prop himself on an elbow, confused, but before he can Yoongi rearranges their bodies until his back is pressed flush against Yoongi’s front.
“Yoongi—”
“Stop,” Yoongi says and Hoseok’s jaw snaps shut. “Just stop it. We’re not fucking it out, you lost a huge amount of blood and you’re not fine, so you’ll sleep more until you feel better.”
Hoseok’s heart is beating hard against his ribcage, but at least the tears have stopped. “Let go of me,” he tries, voice wobbly and uncertain. He doesn’t move to get away from Yoongi’s arms.
It’s unnerving how Hoseok will get so mad at Yoongi and still crave his affection at the same time. It’s the conflicted feeling of pure need, of sensing that Yoongi’s hurting him and still needing for Yoongi to soothe the pain he’s caused.
“No, Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi says, and he sounds tired now. His lips press against the top of Hoseok’s spine but it’s not a kiss, not really. Somehow it’s still reassuring and somehow Hoseok hates it, hates how he leans into it. “We’ll work it out, okay? But it’s enough for today, it’s not even night yet. You should rest a little more.”
Hoseok wants to protest, he really does, but Yoongi can be inflexible when he wants to. Yoongi won’t give in, not now at least. Hoseok still feels sated from the bite, but he knows that glow won’t last forever. He shudders remembering that first week, almost two months ago, after his high had finally endended. He felt so, so terrible, body shaking all the time and emotions so bottled up that they exploded anytime Yoongi got near him.
Yoongi could’ve made it go away, could have laid him down and bitten sweetly at his neck. But he didn’t, didn’t let himself go until recently and Hoseok’s hands tremble from thinking that he will stop doing it again. That he might never do it again.
Hoseok whimpers weakly. Yoongi presses him close and shushes him. Yoongi’s body is tense behind him and Hoseok knows this whole ordeal is taking a toll on both of them. On their relationship. He brings his fist to his mouth and bites it, eyes closing shut to stop any tears that might decide to come back. Luckily, they don’t.
Yoongi rubs soothing patterns on Hoseok’s hip. Hoseok clutches the sheets and tries to calm down his breathing, inhaling and exhaling again and again. It takes a while, but eventually he manages to fall asleep, Yoongi’s breath hot against his neck.
~
The next time Hoseok wakes up there are no soft fingers threading through his hair. There isn’t a firm chest pressed to his back. He’s alone on the bed and it’s finally dark outside. He sits up and crosses his ankles, rubs the sleep away from his eyes.
He can hear clattering in the kitchen, which probably means that Yoongi’s cooking him something. Maybe breakfast, maybe lunch, he’s not sure. He has no idea what time it is, just that he doesn’t feel as weak anymore and that his head is solid once again instead of filled with air. From where he’s standing he can see there’s a full moon hanging high in the sky. If it was any other day he would make sure to tease Yoongi with multiple kinds of werewolf jokes. The nostalgic thought makes Hoseok wrap his arms around himself. He misses just being with Yoongi without them both standing on uncertain grounds regarding each other.
It never used to feel that way before. Yoongi was his safe place, his rock, and Hoseok was Yoongi’s. He supposes they still are, deep down, but their peaceful (happy, light, gleeful) everyday feels like it’s slipping from his very own fingers.
He knows Yoongi’s heard him wake up, shaperned hearing able to detect every single of Hoseok’s moves. Yoongi was never loud about it, often pretended it didn’t happen, that he wasn’t different enough to have non human senses. It really wasn’t a turn off for Hoseok, though. Quite the contrary, really. He didn’t mind when Yoongi aimed for normalcy, but that wasn’t them, never was and would never be. They were Hoseok, human, dancer, and Yoongi, vampire, composer, pianist and much more, because apparently immortality can get really boring after a while and Yoongi’s been trying hard to blend in.
They were Hoseok playing hip-hop songs to Yoongi and Yoongi listening to it awestruck before trying to spit a few bars himself, Hoseok laughing his ass off before realizing that Yoongi was actually pretty fucking good at it.
They were Hoseok arriving home, sweaty, muscles sore and Yoongi picking him up, delicious supernatural strenght in display, fucking him sweetly on their bed, on their couch, on their kitchen table. They were Hoseok presenting his neck and Yoongi breaking the skin.
The thought makes Hoseok’s heart ache. He constantly yearns for Yoongi in a way he never thought possible. It was so new to him at first that he got concerned, thinking it was the initial bloom of some sort of obsession. It took Jimin slapping the back of his head and whispering 'the word you are looking for is love, hyung' for Hoseok to go ‘oh’. Oh.
He decides to go for a shower, maybe chickening out a little at the prospect of facing Yoongi so soon. When he stares at his own face in the mirror he’s pleased to see that he does look fine, no bags under his eyes, no pale skin. It’s his neck, though. His neck will be a problem, purple bruises extending beyond the reach of the bandage set just above his collarbones. He peels it away and is relieved to see that the worst are indeed the bruises and that the bite itself is nothing but two little dots.
Usually there are almost no marks left behind from a careful vampire bite. Ever since Hoseok met Yoongi he had been the most careful, never pressing hard enough to actually tear skin. It appears that the combination of almost two months with nothing besides blood bags and a squirming Hoseok under him was enough to make meticulous Yoongi lose his prized control.
It’s fucked up, the way pride swells up in Hoseok’s chest.
Hoseok caresses the wound with the tip of his fingertips, warmth flushing his cheeks. Yoongi did that. Yoongi couldn’t resist doing that. Maybe it really was sick the way Hoseok loved it so much.
He showers, allowing the steam to relax his muscles for a while. It feels good, after everything, and his heart is not so heavy anymore when he steps out of the stall. Yoongi often makes mixed emotions conflict inside his chest, but more than anything Hoseok craves him.
He dresses quickly, borrowing one of Yoongi’s huge shirts, pulling the collar up a bit so that he can smell Yoongi’s faint smell in them. Alongside that, the smell of something spicy and good reaches his nose. Right, Yoongi’s cooking for him. Yoongi, a vampire that doesn’t need to eat food, is cooking for him, because he’s perfect in a way Hoseok didn’t know someone could be. Hoseok craves him so bad it’s ridiculous.
He sighs and decides to get it over with.
He puts on fluffy socks and pads across the floor towards the kitchen. Sure enough, Yoongi’s back is turned away from him as he delicately stirs something on a frying pan. It smells like meat, which makes Hoseok’s stomach rumble loudly. He presses a hand down on it and frowns, embarrassed. Yoongi turns to look at him.
He looks good, he always looks good, although his dark hair is messier than usual. Hoseok wonders how long Yoongi stayed behind him in bed, quietly listening to his snores. The way Yoongi often lies with him despite not needing sleep never fails to make butterflies flutter in his gut. It’s just so caring, caring in the same way Yoongi’s now cooking for him and looking at him with love in his eyes despite Hoseok being such a fuck up sometimes.
“Hey,” Yoongi says. He’s barefoot, sweats hanging low on his hips. It always made Hoseok feel powerful, the way one of the night’s most feared creatures gets so domestic for him. Right now, it just makes him feel very warm inside.
“Hi,” Hoseok says, voice quiet. He wants Yoongi to kiss him but doesn’t know how to ask for it, so he curls his toes on the cold tile. “Smells good.”
Yoongi smiles at him, lips curving slightly. “I thought you might be hungry. You slept for over twelve hours.”
Hoseok jolts in surprise. “Really?”
That does explain why he feels so well-rested.
“Yeah, it’s lunchtime now.” Yoongi says and then pauses. His gaze falls to Hoseok’s neck and his smile slowly falters. Hoseok wants to reach for his cheek and smooth his fingers against the corners of his lips just to make them upturn again. “You need something to sustain you after… What happened.”
And there it is. Hoseok ignores the lurching in his stomach and opts to sit down on the closest chair next to him. “Thank you for cooking for me,” is what he says. “You didn’t have to.”
And to that Yoongi could answer a million things. I do, because you lost so much blood or I do, because I hurt you. They could start the whole discussion all over again. They will argue once more and it would be exactly like last time.
Yoongi doesn’t say any of those things, though.
Yoongi’s snort is so unexpected that Hoseok startles. “I would rather cook you something than let you set the kitchen on fire again.”
Yoongi grins at him before turning away to flip some vegetables by gently sliding a spatula under them. Hoseok’s so grateful for Yoongi providing them both with a way out of the inevitable discussion that he feels an urge to get up and kiss him senseless. So he does get up, corners Yoongi from behind and nuzzles under his jaw before pressing a wet kiss there.
“That was one time, okay?”
Yoongi’s chuckle is so much more than he had hoped for when he woke up this morning. It makes some of the glowing feelings return to his chest.
~
Hoseok thinks things will get better from there.
Since it’s Monday and Hoseok works on weekends, it’s all too easy to laze around all day. Or all night, really, considering their peculiarities. After Yoongi makes sure he eats, one step too close to feeding Hoseok himself for Hoseok’s liking, things calm down between them. Yoongi refuses to look at Hoseok’s neck and Hoseok pretends not to notice. It’s fine.
They stay inside, neither particularly keen on going out. Maybe they were both worn down, maybe they were tired, but maybe- maybe they just didn’t want to leave each other’s side. Yoongi opts for sharing his time between writing stuff down and watching anime on their couch.
Their apartment is big, even though it’s still only a small sample from Yoongi’s accumulated money. They could stay very much apart if they wished to, which is why it feels kind of important when Hoseok plops down next to Yoongi, winding an arm around his waist and peering through his shoulders to take a look at the multiple words messily written on a notepad.
“Writing me a song?” Hoseok lilts. Yoongi grunts but turns to press a kiss to his temple.
“I’ve written you at least a hundred songs already,” he points out.
Hoseok pouts. “I wouldn’t mind upping that number, though.”
Yoongi smiles. Hoseok can’t see it but he knows, recognises that head shake and shoulder lift. “You’re such a brat. If you were born at the same time as me people wouldn’t have been so patient.”
Hoseok rolls his eyes, still clinging to Yoongi’s torso. He notices that the anime playing in front of them involves giant beings and a lot of massacre. Hoseok doesn’t even like anime in general, but Yoongi has the worst picks possible.
“If I was born at the same time as you, you wouldn’t have had the chance to cuddle with me on this couch and watch the atrocity that’s in front of my eyes right now,” he counters. One of the huge beings crouches down, picks up a woman and swallows her whole. Hoseok grimaces. “Geez, that’s like, super violent.”
Hoseok sees Yoongi turn to look at him from his peripheral vision, amusement written all over the brown pools of his eyes. “You literally bed a vampire.”
Hoseok shrugs, still paying attention to the screen in front of him. The same giant being picks up another person and snaps its jaw on their stomach. It’s honest to god terrifying. “Okay but like— look at this shit. There’s so much blood. Christ—”
Yoongi tenses next to him. Hoseok stops talking immediately. He doesn’t need to turn around to know that Yoongi is likely thinking of him bleeding onto the sheets. There’s so much blood. Shit, Hoseok really needs to learn how to filter his words better, but it doesn’t help the way they keep tiptoeing around each other. What was once an easy relationship to navigate feels now like a minefield and Hoseok has just stepped on an explosive.
Yoongi recovers quickly enough, but he doesn’t say anything, jaw’s muscles strained, and quietly returns his attention to the notepad. Hoseok notices how his grip on the pen has just become ten times stronger, thick veins in display. And - just like that. Just like that things are awkward again.
Hoseok was right. Things did get better, up to the very point they got worse.
~
He’s tending the bar the next following night, a silky scarf wrapped snugly against his neck. It’s not the busiest of nights - thank fuck, but there’s still a crowd. Right now, Hoseok kind of really hates young adults that decide it’s a good idea to get plastered on a working Tuesday, though he supposes he kind of owes them for providing him with a job.
He voices that to Jungkook, who is wiping down some wet spots from the counter, tongue poking out from the corner of his lips in a look of concentration. He looks up at Hoseok and snorts.
“You only hate them because you’re jealous you can’t drink half a beer without passing out,” he says. Hoseok steals the rag away from him, tightens the fabric into a ball and attempts to throw it at Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook catches it easily. “Damn, hyung, you’re high-strung today.”
Hoseok huffs. If he’s being honest he does feel a little on edge, but that’s only to be expected after yesterday. And the day before that. Fuck, it’s all a mess really, and Hoseok feels a dull ache behind his eyes sockets. The pub’s lights are too bright and it feels like small pins are stabbing his corneas. It’s unpleasant, to say the least.
“I can drink just fine, thank you very much.”
Jungkook pins him down with a pointed stare. “Yoongi-hyung had to carry you - a bridal carry, mind you - from the club just last month. Because you passed out. From not being able to drink at all.”
That was unfortunately true, although Jungkook doesn’t know the specifics of that night. Hoseok was at a breaking point then, missing both Yoongi and Yoongi’s bites, and decided to drag Jungkook and Jimin with him on one of the only free Fridays the three of them had that month. It took a bit of tinkering around with their agendas, but the younger ones complied, probably because Hoseok never asked anyone for anything and back then he was almost begging.
He had wanted to dance, to move until his feet hurt and he could barely stand due to exhaustion. Had wanted to down shots until there was no ego left, only the bubbly shell of the version he turns into after enough alcohol goes into his system. He had wanted to laugh with two of his best friends because he definitely wasn’t laughing around Yoongi any longer.
Hoseok remembers some of that night, but not much. He does know that probably his lowest point was throwing up on Yoongi’s shirt while Yoongi carried him to his car, though. A sober, unyielding Yoongi, carrying his shit faced, fuck up of a boyfriend. What a sight that must have been. He doesn’t remember Yoongi’s expression from back then, but remembers how they didn’t talk for the entire following day.
Jungkook had been the one to call Yoongi, partly because he didn’t know the whole story of how badly they were fighting and trusted Yoongi to care for Hoseok, but mainly because he too was smashed to the point of being unable to do shit but call someone more responsible for help. If it was anyone else Hoseok might have resented them, but it was Jungkook and Jungkook always looked after him the best way he could.
That night, his best shot had been to call Yoongi. If Yoongi’s stance was hard and inflexible as he cradled Hoseok in his arms, that wasn’t Jungkook’s fault.
Hoseok tries very hard to shake the memory away from his mind.
“I’m surprised you even saw that,” he says. “Considering how busy you were with shoving your tongue in Jiminie’s mouth.”
Jungkook bristles with indignation and Hoseok shakes his head before flicking his forehead. “Get back to work, punk.”
Jungkook keeps mumbling under his breath for quite awhile but Hoseok chooses to happily ignore him. Jungkook is good for him, a friend he relies on; the only one who knows about Yoongi, about Namjoon too. That’s how he met Jimin, after all. Hoseok would often tease him about how he owed Hoseok his life - and frequent orgasms - for introducing him to the sweetest vampire ass in town, but the truth is that Jungkook doesn’t owe Hoseok shit, not when Hoseok owes him even more.
When things got rough with Yoongi, Jungkook was always there to listen. He even let Hoseok hug him sometimes. For the last couple of months he was the one that held Hoseok’s hands when things got tough - which was all the time - even when Hoseok wouldn’t tell him what was going on.
Hoseok hopes it won’t come to that again but the tension headache settling on his shoulders begs to differ. To put it plainly, he’s feeling so shitty he wants to cry and yet, somehow, it keeps getting worse with every passing second. Now, not only he’s in emotional pain regarding Yoongi, but his body is betraying him, too.
He knows he can’t share that with anyone as Yoongi would take it only as hard proof of Hoseok’s supposed ‘addiction’. Of course, Hoseok knows he’s not addicted to shit, but the pain does keep getting worse, just like it did last time. He wants to come back home and curl around Yoongi, let Yoongi pet his hair, maybe even let Yoongi fuck him so that the pain will go away, at least for a while. More than that, he wants Yoongi to kiss his neck and press his teeth down, giving way for all those good feelings to be released inside Hoseok’s brain. That would surely make everything so much better.
Hoseok sighs, the wound on his neck tingling. He surely wants a lot of things he won’t be able to get.
The hours seem to drag by, pain shooting down his spine more often than not. He tries to press his palms against his eyes until he sees stars but it does nothing to help. He works to distract himself and jokes around with Jungkook as much as he can, trying to make his smiles wider when he notices Jungkook’s slightly worried expression.
It’s only at the end of their shift that Hoseok begins to really feel rather than see Jungkook’s gaze lingering on him. Jungkook has always been an observant little thing, always too aware. It’s how he found out about Yoongi too, even if a bartender dating a pale nocturnal guy wasn’t exactly breaking news for anyone; as people who work strictly at night their dates often ended up being pale nocturnal guys and that was fine.
Jungkook, though - Jungkook understood it all from the very start, even threatened to kick Yoongi’s ass if he as much bared his teeth to Hoseok. And Jungkook was strong, sure, but it didn’t come close to Yoongi’s supernatural strength, although he compensated it with so much bite behind his words that Yoongi himself was impressed. They eventually bonded over being protective of Hoseok and Hoseok didn’t mind that bit at all because he was also so, so fond of them both.
He’s expecting it when Jungkook nudges him with a gentle bump of his shoulder.
“You know— you know I’m here for you, right?” Jungkook aks quietly. Hoseok is already sensitive and Jungkook’s tone is so genuine it makes him want to cry, the pain in his eyes and shoulders not helping by tearing through his nerves. “Even if it gets bad, I’m here.”
Hoseok lowers his eyes to watch Jungkook’s fingers toy with the fringes hanging from his scarf. Jungkook has never been good with words and has always been good at making that unimportant. Hoseok grasps Jungkook’s hands between his and rubs warmth into them. There’s still some noise around them but Hoseok can’t hear it anymore.
For a second it feels like it’s just Jungkook and him. Before Yoongi and Jimin it used to be just them, way back, when their shifts would end and they would walk around the city for a bit before reaching Jungkook’s old building, Jungkook sometimes pretending to be Batman and Hoseok laughing his ass off at every gruff imitation.
Jungkook squeezes Hoseok’s hand, eyes wide and honest. He probably knew that something was wrong the minute Hoseok walked in with his chin burrowed in a scarf. He still was perceptive enough to not ask and Hoseok is grateful for it.
“Kook-ah,” Hoseok finally says, and if the words come out a little choked off, they don’t comment on it. “Sometimes knowing that is the only thing that gives me enough energy to drag my sorry ass out of bed.”
Jungkook smiles at him and it’s so sweet it hurts. It makes his heart ache with some sort of blend of sadness and nostalgia, something that he can’t quite put his finger on. He takes in the look on Jungkook’s face and snaps a mental picture of it, storing it in that elusive, bittersweet place that everyone’s got inside of them, dedicated to nothing but love.
Before his tear ducts can betray him again, Hoseok decides they both deserve a little normalcy, which prompts him to tilt his head to press a very wet kiss to Jungkook’s cheek.
He knows he’s succeeded when Jungkook yelps and makes a show of wiping it clean while complaining loudly. Hoseok cackles before kissing his forehead too, just because he can. The pain inside his skull is still throbbing, but Jungkook’s eyes are soft on him and somehow that makes it a little more bearable.
~
Hoseok’s headaches get worse. He doesn’t remember it being so bad last time, not like this. It sometimes feels like a hammering thud right behind his eyelids and sometimes it feels like strings of electric shock shooting down his spine. He pops Advill pills so much he considers joking about being addicted to it, just to see if that would stirr Yoongi’s anger.
And that’s the thing, Hoseok has become snappy too. Angry and annoyed at everything. Bright light hurts his eyes and loud noises rattle through his eardrums painfully. He keeps himself in check during work because his position depends on him being at least a little likeable. Plus, many regulars had taken a liking to him, drawn to his easy smile. Now he doesn’t feel like smiling all that much anymore.
He also draws the line at snapping at Jungkook - Jungkook doesn’t deserve that, which comes to mean that Hoseok will snap at someone else eventually. And that someone always ends up being Yoongi.
Hoseok knows Yoongi deserves it as much as Jungkook, which is not at all, but it’s a truth he finds hard to face when he’s hurting so much and Yoongi is adamant on not helping him. Because Yoongi’s the only one who could really help now, with a caring bite to Hoseok’s neck - although at this point Hoseok really wouldn’t mind if Yoongi treated him like a midnight snack and bit his wrists, ankles, thighs.
At first he didn’t know if it was a coincidence or not the fact that Yoongi’s now always at home at the same time as him. Hoseok can’t remember the last time he arrived to an empty apartment or to a cute note with scribbled writing that said went to the store or at namjoon’s don’t wait up. He catches Yoongi facetiming Namjoon sometimes, which is a stark red sign considering Namjoon lives close by and Yoongi was always fond of visiting him at his home. It’s unsettling because it means that Yoongi’s making sure to keep careful eyes on Hoseok as much as possible.
Hoseok doesn’t know why Yoongi even bothers considering they barely talk. Anytime they try to Hoseok explodes and the aftermatch is consisted of them scrambling to pick pieces of their hearts from the cold floor. Hoseok’s stricken with guilt at any given time, too, but that doesn’t stop his mood swings from causing chaos.
Hoseok misses Yoongi even when they are in the same room. He wonders if Yoongi longs for him too, or if Hoseok’s finally succeeded in ruining their relationship. Hoseok wonders how long Yoongi can go without breaking, wonders to each need he’ll cave in to first, to Hoseok’s or to his own.
Sometimes it gets so rough that Hoseok truly loses it, screams and cries and raises hell. He sobs, pulls at his hair to try to distract himself from the pain and cries harder when that doesn’t work. Yoongi’s the one to stop his hands, to wipe the tears away from his face. Hoseok doesn’t know what’s worse, the fact that he’s so angry all the time or the fact that Yoongi doesn’t get angry at him.
Yoongi doesn’t sleep beside him anymore and that hurts. The bed always feels too big and cold without another body on it. It’s roughly one week after their last biting incident that Hoseok finds himself curled up against a pillow, sweat-damp clothes sticking to his skin. It’s not warm outside but his body is still protesting against something he doesn’t recognize, cursing him with hot flares that make his limbs tremble.
Daydreams of being bit flood his mind and it’s more troubling than pleasant. He craves it so bad it makes his stomach churn uncomfortably. And under all that, there’s a mental picture of Yoongi. The force that Hoseok uses to push Yoongi away is equivalent to the force that Hoseok wishes he could muster to pull Yoongi close.
Hot flashes raise goosebumps on his skin and Hoseok shivers, clenches his eyes shut even tighter. He feels alone and hurt and part of that it is his fault. He tosses and turns a few times before giving up on sleep completely, lifting his gaze to stare at the ceiling, tears pricking his eyes due to sheer frustration. He raises one hand to brush sweaty bangs away from his forehead before gritting his teeth and getting up.
The floor is icy beneath his feet but he pays no attention to it, letting his body move on instinct, leading to where he knows the solution to his problem lies. Hoseok doesn’t bother to lighten his steps as he strides towards Yoongi’s studio, where he’s been holed up a lot lately. Hoseok doesn’t bother knocking, swinging the door open and sliding in.
Yoongi surely heard him coming but his face still holds a trace of surprise as he peers up to Hoseok from his chair. Hoseok wobbles a bit on the balls of his feet, feels sweat dripping down his temples. Yoongi must realize that Hoseok’s lucidity is questionable right now because he quickly slides his laptop shut and opens his mouth to speak.
“I feel like shit,” Hoseok spits, words coming out in a rush, before Yoongi can say anything. “I feel so fucking terrible right now you have no idea.”
Yoongi’s fingers flex before closing shut in a fist, but he doesn't interrupt Hoseok, knowing that’s not all he’s got to say. Hoseok sucks in a ragged breath before continuing.
“I can’t sleep, I feel hot all over and— and it’s unfair knowing you have the power to stop it and won’t.” Hoseok is playing dirty but right now he doesn’t care, doesn’t care for anything besides the pain assaulting his body. “Weren’t you supposed to love me— shit, shouldn’t you be trying to make me happy?”
Hoseok bites his lips, eyes watering again. He feels weak and hates himself for faltering under Yoongi’s hot gaze. Yoongi stands up so fast that Hoseok almost yelps, has no time to adjust his vision before Yoongi’s grasping at his jaw with one hand. It’s not violent, but it’s firm.
“All I’m doing right now, Hoseok... All I’m doing is because I’m trying to make you happy,” he says, voice raspy and more emotional than Hoseok thought it would be.
“Bullshit,” Hoseok says, voice cracking around the last words. Their noses are almost brushing and Yoongi’s breath is warm against his lips, so, so close.
Yoongi presses one hand on the back of Hoseok’s neck to pull him forward until their foreheads are pressed together. Hoseok feels hot all over, he’s all pent up and Yoongi’s close enough for Hoseok to kiss him.
“I’ll repeat it until you understand, even if it takes a million times,” Yoongi says slowly, enunciating every word carefully. “My intent is to make you the happiest for the rest of your life,” Hoseok’s hand fist Yoongi’s shirt and he lets his eyes fall shut, yielding under Yoongi’s gaze. “And that means I’m never, ever, biting you again.”
Hoseok’s heart shatters. He lets out a small sob.
Yoongi wraps his arms around Hoseok’s waist and Hoseok lets himself be held, angst bubbling inside his gut. Being without Yoongi’s bite is agonizing, but being without Yoongi is so much worse. He wishes he could stop suffering for even a little while so that he could focus on how Yoongi is suffering because of this, too.
They haven’t been physically close lately, Yoongi only touching Hoseok to stop Hoseok from hurting himself. Now, pressed together, Hoseok realizes how much he’s been aching for it without even being aware. Yoongi’s hand rubs soothing circles between Hoseok’s shoulder blades and Hoseok can’t help the wet little sigh that escapes his lips.
Hoseok tilts his head so that he can nuzzle his nose against Yoongi’s neck and Yoongi’s breath hitches, a small, almost imperceptible sound. But Hoseok notices it; makes his guilt flare up again when he realizes the last time he’s shown Yoongi any sort of affection was a long time ago. He lets out another sigh, pushing away a little so that he can lock his eyes with Yoongi’s. There’s vulnerability there that he hasn’t seen in what seems like forever.
He can’t help it, the way he pulls Yoongi from the grip he has on Yoongi’s shirt and kisses his mouth. Yoongi’s lips are soft under his, a little cold but that’s not unusual. Hoseok swings forward and Yoongi grunts, right thumb pressing against that sensitive spot on Hoseok’s jaw, urging him to open his mouth so that Yoongi can slip his tongue inside.
Yoongi controls the kiss, licks a wet strip at Hoseok’s bottom lip before nipping gently, fangs hidden. Hoseok whimpers, melts when Yoongi sucks on his tongue. They haven’t kissed in so long and it feels good, of course it feels good. Hoseok slips his hands under Yoongi’s shirt and pulls him closer until there isn’t a single inch of space left between them. Hoseok’s hands are a warm contrast against Yoongi’s cool back muscles. Hoseok pants as Yoongi shudders.
Hoseok pulls away a little so that he can take in Yoongi’s features, his half-lidded eyes and blown pupils. It never took much to work Yoongi up, at least not when it was Hoseok doing it. Hoseok had always loved that Yoongi’s control would falter when fucking him, or even when kissing him; there was something about it that was immensely satisfactory. It was probably the only reason he got Yoongi to bite him last time, too, because Hoseok was under him, legs wrapped around his legs and neck arched on display.
Hoseok's hands tremble at the memory and he digs his nails on Yoongi’s back.
A pleased noise leaves Yoongi’s mouth and he tilts Hoseok’s chin up, starts to press kisses along the underside of his jaw, not daring to go even half an inch further. It frustrates Hoseok to no end, but he also feels hot all over, easily complying when Yoongi tugs at his shirt and pulls it off in one fluid motion. Yoongi’s cool hands feel so good against his overheated body that it makes Hoseok moan.
“I’ve missed this,” Yoongi whispers close to Hoseok’s ear, tugs Hoseok’s lobe between his teeth. “I’ve missed you.”
It makes something clench inside of Hoseok’s chest. There are so many sorrys on the tip of his tongue but he still feels unable to let them out. “Let me do something for you,” is what he says instead.
Yoongi allows Hoseok to push him until his tailbone hits the table behind him. Hoseok brings their chests together, shuddering at their temperature difference. Yoongi’s fingers tangle in Hoseok’s hair and pull a bit so that his neck is arched, giving him no option but to look at Yoongi’s eyes. They share a heated gaze, Yoongi’s lips now spit-slick. Not for the first time Hoseok feels warmth pooling low in his gut just by taking in Yoongi’s inflamed expression. Yoongi is usually unbearably attractive, but right now, red mouth and dark eyes, Hoseok feels his leg tremble just from facing him.
He drops to his knees, peers up from his lashes. “Wanna blow you,” he says sweetly, hands already fumbling with the buttons of Yoongi’s jeans.
“Fuck, Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi murmurs, fingers running down Hoseok’s cheek. He presses one thumb against Hoseok’s bottom lip, pulling it down. “Open up.”
Hoseok does, tucking Yoongi’s cock out of his briefs. He wastes no time, licking a long stripe from base to tip. He kisses the thick veins standing out from one side, mouths at it a little before sucking the head into his mouth. Yoongi groans and fists Hoseok’s hair, controlling how much Hoseok is allowed to take him in. Hoseok’s moans are muffled when Yoongi presses his hips forward until he’s hitting the back of Hoseok’s throat. He slowly pulls out before thrusting again, cock warm and heavy on top of Hoseok’s tongue.
“Can I fuck your mouth?” he asks, grip so tight on Hoseok’s hair it hurts. Hoseok is too hard now, cock straining against his sweats. He looks up at Yoongi, takes in Yoongi’s lazy eyes and the sheer want written all over his face. Hoseok blinks at him, swirls his tongue against the head of his cock. It’s enough of an answer, apparently. Yoongi holds Hoseok’s head in place and slams in.
He sets a brutal pace, wet sounds leaving Hoseok’s mouth as spit leaks from the corner of his lips. Hoseok closes his eyes and lets Yoongi fuck in, finally sensing some sort of anger directing Yoongi’s thrusts. Hoseok appreciates it, it’s harder to fight when he’s the one doing all the fighting. Now though, now Yoongi is fucking into his mouth with a punishing pace, Hoseok holding onto Yoongi’s thighs for dear life. It feels right.
Hoseok’s so hard it’s uncomfortable, cock twitching at every groan that escapes Yoongi’s mouth. It’s pleasing to feel the familiar weight of Yoongi’s cock against his tongue, to feel Yoongi’s hands on his hair. It’s exactly what they both needed.
Yoongi’s hips jerk forward deep and fast, barely giving Hoseok any chance to breathe. Hoseok’s throat spasms against Yoongi and it’s all so good that Hoseok feels precome dampening the soft material of his pants. He’s completely untouched, wonders if he could come like this, just from sucking Yoongi off.
Yoongi’s rhythm starts to falter and that’s how Hoseok knows he’s close. He tries to relax his throat as much as possible, allowing Yoongi to slide in and out. Yoongi’s panting, breath harsh and fast as he pushes in one last time and comes down Hoseok’s throat, hips undulating as he rides out the orgasm. His grip on Hoseok’s hair softens and he pulls out, thumb coming to wipe away spit from the corner of Hoseok’s mouth.
Hoseok swallows, humming around the taste, and tries to slow his breathing as Yoongi comes down from his high. He rests his forehead against Yoongi’s hips. His jaw feels abused, his cock still hard and his heart threatening to leap out of his chest. It takes only a few moments before Yoongi’s yanking Hoseok to his feet and pulling him into a messy kiss. Hoseok melts, legs as steady as jelly.
Yoongi seems to sense it as he places one of his thighs between Hoseok’s legs, supporting him with strong hands curled around his waist. Hoseok whines, rubs his cheek against Yoongi’s chest as he instinctively starts riding Yoongi’s thigh. One of Yoongi’s hands leave Hoseok’s hip to thumb at a nipple and Hoseok keens, already so close to release.
“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Yoongi whispers, breathless. “Take whatever you need.”
Hoseok does, dry humps Yoongi’s legs until he’s shaking, until Yoongi’s pinching his nipples and Hoseok’s coming hard, gasping and shaking and falling apart. Yoongi gentles him through it, whispering praise words in Hoseok’s ears.
“So good for me,” he mutters as Hoseok clings to him, face tucked into the crook of his neck. It’s way too gentle considering what they have just done, but it’s part of the reason why they have always worked so well together. Hoseok loves falling apart and Yoongi loves putting him back together.
Yoongi quietly tucks himself in. Hoseok’s legs tremble so badly he has a hard time standing, so Yoongi hauls him up like he weighs nothing. Then again, to Yoongi he probably doesn’t. It’s a sweet, intimate position, Hoseok’s legs wrapped tightly around Yoongi’s waist. His sweats are sticky and gross but he doesn’t pay it any mind. His body still feels hot but it’s not as bad as it was half an hour ago and there’s a low thrumming of pleasure running through his veins. It’s the best he has felt in days.
Yoongi gently rubs Hoseok’s hips with his thumbs as he carries him to their bedroom. Hoseok’s mind is hazy, a sense of relief washing through his body as he realizes there’s no pain inside his skull. He nuzzles Yoongi’s neck again.
“I love you,” he sighs against Yoongi’s collarbones. It’s not as good as an apology, but it’s something.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything as he places Hoseok on the bed. He helps Hoseok out of his sweats before walking to the bathroom, only to return with a warm cloth to wipe Hoseok down. He cleans Hoseok gently until Hoseok’s so comfortable he can barely keep his eyes open. He feels sleepy for the first time in forever, muscles tired and mind exhausted.
“Lie with me for a bit?” Hoseok asks, but it sounds more like a plea. Some part of him thinks he doesn’t deserve it, and that part is probably right. It’s a relief when Yoongi complies anyway, adjusting them so that Hoseok is curled up on his chest, head resting on top of where his heart should be beating.
It’s not weird for Hoseok, not hearing a heartbeat. If anything, it’s comforting, because a heartbeat would mean it’s someone else other than Yoongi and Hoseok doesn’t want that. He wants Yoongi, has wanted Yoongi for the second Hoseok laid eyes on him.
“I love you,” he repeats.
A quiet moment passes between them before,
“I love you too,” Yoongi finally says.
~
They fuck a lot after that; Hoseok riding Yoongi until his thighs quiver from effort. Yoongi fingering Hoseok so that he will shudder from a prostate orgasm. Hoseok distracting Yoongi from his work by sucking him off under the table. They fuck so they won’t fight, they fuck so Hoseok won’t be in a pain all day.
It starts to dawn on Hoseok that this time is so much more difficult than the last because Yoongi’s stance is absolute. Before he was certain Yoongi would change his mind - or that he would persuade Yoongi to do so. It worked, to a certain extent. He got what he wanted when Yoongi bit him, and also got everything he didn’t want after that as a bonus.
Now Yoongi’s unwavering, resolute. There isn’t a crack in sight for Hoseok to explore and he has to slowly come to terms with the fact that Yoongi might very much not bite him ever again. It’s troubling how much that thought distresses him.
Hoseok’s headaches are no longer so terrifying, but the hot flashes still assault his body periodically. He asks Yoongi to fuck him through it more often than not. It’s fine, it’s good, but it’s not enough. As much as he’s getting fucked six ways to Sunday they only really stay close during those times, Yoongi probably too afraid to push Hoseok till he breaks again. Even so, it’s touching how Yoongi always made sure to cook a lot of food at least once a day so that Hoseok can heat it later in the microwave if he wishes to. It's sweet how Yoongi keeps leaving glasses of water and little painkiller pills on the nightstand next to Hoseok’s side of the bed.
Hoseok basks in Yoongi’s affection after sex. It’s the moment when they are the most vulnerable and things tend to turn sweet and tender. Sometimes Yoongi will run his fingers delicately through Hoseok’s sweat damp bangs until Hoseok falls asleep or gently thumb the crease between his eyebrows so it softens. Hoseok will sigh and lean into it, will let himself whisper I love yous into Yoongi’s chest.
When he wakes up and Yoongi’s not beside him, it stings.
Hoseok tries to keep himself in line and control his mood swings as much as he can. He’d hoped it would be easier once the pain went away, but it’s not, because the pain was quickly replaced by cravings. It gets bad to the point that he can barely sleep anymore and not even Yoongi giving him two, three, fours orgasms is able to change that.
He becomes fidgety and it starts to affect his work life. Jungkook keeps asking him to hang out but Hoseok knows that accepting it would be a mistake. While distracting himself seems like a good idea, the possibility of worrying - or worse, hurting - Jungkook is enough to stop him from taking on the younger boy’s invitations. Hoseok doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He also doesn’t want to keep hurting.
The cravings turn into obsessive thinking. Being without Yoongi hurts the most, but being with Yoongi hurts too, because Yoongi has fangs and Hoseok can’t seem to forget that for a second.
He makes it for a couple of days before it starts to drive him insane. Asking Yoongi for a bite - pleading, begging - would do more harm than good. Yoongi wouldn’t give him what he wanted even if he threw himself at his feet. Hoseok’s anxiety sky-rockets because of that, mind refusing to accept the loss he’s being forced to endure.
He’s torn between ressenting Yoongi for ever biting him in the place and ressenting himself for being the one who started to fuck everything up by perhaps liking it a bit too much. One thing he’s certain of, though: an impending insanity will rumpage his head, body and soul if nothing changes soon.
It’s only when he’s walking to work from home that a repressed thought begins to resurface in his mind. Fuck, he thinks dazedly. He feels cheap just from thinking about it but with each step he takes the more that ‘cheap’ and ‘impure’ idea morphs into ‘possible solution’. It’s surely not ideal, but Hoseok is fully aware of ugly life can be. He doesn’t know why his should be an exception.
His hands feel heavy, fingers stiff as he pulls his phone from his back pocket. Yoongi’s smiling at him from his wallpaper, all teeth and pouty lips. The picture is enough to make Hoseok stop and stare at it for several seconds, guilt gnawing at the marrow of his bones.
Fow a while he considers how Yoongi never did a single thing to deserve this - to deserve handling Hoseok’s lows as they keep getting lower. Hoseok bites down hard on his bottom lip, the pain helping him get out of the haze of bad thoughts that had begun to overcome him. He scrubs a hand through his hair and exhales slowly.
His heart feels heavy in his chest as he opens his texts and clicks on Jimin’s name. After this, there’ll be no coming back. He starts to type anyway.
hoseok: hey jiminah
hoseok: you there?
It doesn’t surprise him when Jimin answers fast, considering he’s probably already on the phone texting Jungkook as much as he can before Jungkook and Hoseok’s shift starts.
jimin: hyungie yes i am
jimin: everything ok?
hoseok: yeah all good tho i do have a favor to ask
jimin: shoot it
hoseok: you know that place where joon used to take you when you were still a baby vamp
hoseok: could you maybe send me the address please
jimin: yeah sure
jimin: you going with yoongi-hyung? if so kook and i want to come
hoseok: not this time sorry lol private date time
jimin: i’m pouting really hard rn
hoseok: lucky for me i can’t see it
hoseok: don’t wanna fall prey to your charms
hoseok: *again
Hoseok feels himself smile a little as Jimin complains and proceeds to send numerous cute texts. He hasn’t seen Jimin since the passing-out-from-booze incident and his life feels lacking without his friends. He misses being with Jungkook, even though they see each other nearly every day. He also misses Taehyung, one of the only remnants of normalcy he has in his life, the one friend he could rely on being completely unaware of the supernatural surrounding them.
With Jungkook dating Jimin and falling deep into the same world as Hoseok, Taehyung is really the only thing left from Hoseok’s regular life as a human. Right now, he wishes he could call Taehyung just to hear his voice but - it’s night and Taehyung is a normal person with normal working hours. He doesn’t want to interrupt what might be the only free hours Taehyung has to himself before he goes to sleep.
For the first time he understands how badly he has been isolating himself during the past two months. The realization sits heavy in his gut. He clutches the phone in his hand as it vibrates with another text from Jimin. It’s the address.
Hoseok’s heartbeat begins to race as he comes to terms with what he’s going to do. There’s still a chance of backing out, but he knows he won’t. He’s too deep into his self destruction streak now for him to turn away and run from himself.
Hoseok quietly tucks his phone into his pocket and resumes walking.
~
Hoseok’s next free Friday is only due in two weeks but the pain inside him aims for anything sooner. He makes it work by switching shifts with Jungkook and wasn’t surprised when Jungkook had finally asked questions.
“I need some quality time with Yoongi-hyung,” Hoseok had explained (lied), gut heavy with guilt.
Jungkook had just looked at him with an odd expression before nodding and letting it go. Not for the first time Hoseok had wondered just how long he could keep deceiving and hurting everyone in his life.
Thanks to that, though, Friday comes a week sooner and Hoseok had only to wait a couple of days. Still, every single one of them was filled with such a profound type of self-loathing that he was barely able to function, guilt welling up on him with every move he made.
He catches himself staring at the address Jimin’s sent him. It’s not that close by, that much he knows. The thought of going there alone makes a cold weight set on his shoulders. He tries to face Yoongi as little as possible because he knows there’s only one thing that could stop him now, and that thing is Yoongi. Yoongi’s disappointment, Yoongi’s rage or worse, Yoongi’s compassion and love. At this point, Hoseok’s sure if he even deserves the last two. He thinks that maybe not, and the thought makes the hole inside his chest gape wider. Loneliness is harder to face when you’re the only one to blame for it.
His heart feels heavy when he enters the cab Friday night. Of course, he makes sure to walk a bit from home before doing so. He’s still not sure how much Yoongi’s paying attention, but surely taking a cab to work would raise genuine questions and he doesn’t want to be asked anything. He just wants the pain to be gone.
The cab driver barely blinks when he reads the address out loud. Hoseok supposes there’s no reason for anyone human to suspect it to be a shady place, even though Hoseok knows better by now. Before they started dating Hoseok had absolutely no idea that a supernatural world existed, much less that supernatural neighborhoods were a thing. It was a little unbelievable to him at first, that entire streets and places would be dominated by vampires.
(“So it’s like in Harry Potter?” Hoseok had asked, which sent Yoongi straight into a laughing fit.
“Lucky for you I have in fact seen those movies,” Yoongi snorted. “I suppose it’s a bit similar, but there’s no magical barrier to stop humans from getting in. You would know that— you ended up in one of those yourself.”
Well, Hoseok really had. Young and human and cluess. He shrugged before a slow grin creeped into his face.
“So... Did Namjoonie force you to watch Harry Potter?”
Yoongi’s face was somber and serious when he glanced at Hoseok. “All eight of them, Hoseokie. In one night.”)
Now, though, now there’s no Yoongi next to him to help guide his steps. He’s walking in blind again. Maybe not as clueless as his first time, but more desperate, which he supposes might be even worse. He won’t get another gentle vampire to ease his way into it; won’t bump into another Yoongi because there won’t ever be another Yoongi.
Yoongi’s a one in a lifetime gift and Hoseok knows he won’t stumble into someone like him ever again. It’s oddly comforting how much Hoseok doesn’t want that, either. There’s a before Yoongi, but there won’t ever be an after.
The memories sit heavy on top of his ribcage as he thanks the driver and steps out, sparing the building in front of him only a few glances before squaring his shoulders and waking in. He knows that if he actually stops, if he lets his mind stop its racing, he’ll lose the courage.
Some small voice deep inside of him tells him that it would be better to do so. To turn away and return home and lie just one last time upon arrival, complain about some sort of stomach bug before tucking himself safely into bed. He would eventually wake up and things would be the same, Yoongi would be there and he wouldn’t have a heavy conscience in the morning. Not as heavy as his is now, anyway.
The shaking in his hands stops him from backing down. It’s unsettling, knowing that cravings outweigh guilt by so much.
Hoseok curls his hand around the handle and swings the door open. It’s not such an exclusive place that humans aren’t able to get in - many vampires take human lovers, after all - but the key difference is that the probability of a lost naive person getting in is what makes things more interesting for apex predators. Hoseok knows damn well that most vampires aren’t interested in taking a human under their wings like Yoongi did. He’s aware that he’s not unlike a sheep walking into a lion’s den.
His fingers gently graze what’s left from the two puncture wounds on his neck. The recollection from that very last high - and how he felt so good afterwards - is what provides him with the last push he needs to make fists with his hands and march inside.
If he wasn’t so distressed by now he would’ve let a huff of amusement upon walking in. The place he met Yoongi for the first time might have been filled with vampires, but at least it looked normal. This right now, though - Hoseok shakes his head, a small smile playing with the corner of his lips.
Vampires are lucky humans don’t tend to immediately think of the supernatural, because really… The room is packed, as Hoseok had assumed it would be, but the ambience is surreal: all soft red glowing lights mixed with black furniture. It’s so hot inside that Hoseok already feels sticky under his sweater. Yoongi would probably love it since bright lights hurt his eyes and he’s so cold all the time he’s barely able to sweat. Hoseok is a warm blooded person, though, and the whole vibe of the place is utterly unappealing to him.
It makes sense that it’s popular among younglings and Hoseok can see what Jimin liked about it. The dance floor is shiny and inviting, the music has a deep bass underlining that screams creature of the night. Hoseok wishes he could have the chance to tease both Jimin and Namjoon about it later.
Hoseok takes furtive glances around as he strolls towards the bar. It’s a circle right in the middle of the place with comfortable seats around it. The bar might be tacky, but it sure is expensive. All chairs look like they’re made for lounging instead of sitting and the tables appear to be untainted, meticulously clean.
He feels eyes burning holes on the back of his neck as he sits on one of the fancy stools, its stuffing soft and warm under him. Normally Hoseok would love it, would bask on the attention of heads turning to take a better look at him. Right now he feels like a piece of meat. He’s wearing regular street clothes, a sweater and ripped jeans, but it does nothing to deter the unsettling realization of being watched and desired.
A pretty, chubby bartender walks over, swinging her hips, and smiles at him. Her hands slip him a menu. “Hi sweetie,” she says. Her voice is syrup sweet, honey dripping on the edges of her words. “New here?”
Hoseok ponders his options, considers how he wants to play this, before deciding to beam at her from his seat. “I guess you could say that.”
He knows that by now his cheeks are probably already flushed from the heat, and also knows how attractive that would probably look to her. He’d rather have her being charmed by him than anything else. The best would be for her to find him cute enough to be on his side but not appealing enough to want any extra interactions.
He knows it will be an easy task when he catches the glint in her eyes. “Then make sure to order something good and I’ll give you the best we have, okay?”
He giggles and ducks his head, playing coy. “No need for that, I’ll just have two soju shots, please.”
“A determined man, uh?” she laughs, a pretty candencial sound. “Won't you even take a look at our other options?”
Hoseok doesn’t need to. He’s aware she wouldn’t hand him anything with blood options on it. As far as any of them is concerned, the menu in front of Hoseok is a regular one. He rests his head on his palm and bats his eyelashes playfully at her.
“Maybe later,” he concedes, taking in the satisfied look at her face and how her cheeks dimple when her smile widens.
“Sure thing, sir,” she replies.
She returns with his shots a minute later and Hoseok wastes no time, reaching forwards to picking one of them up. He circles the glass with the pad of his pointer finger before downing it, grimacing at the burn.
Hoseok’s really not into drinking and, as much as it pains him to admit it, Jungkook is right when he states that Hoseok can’t handle his booze. But he also desperately needs something to help him loosen up, enough to make his ears buzz a little but not enough to turn him into a helpless mess. He’s very aware that he needs to keep some sort of composure here and getting drunk to the point of being reckless would be not only dangerous but life-threatening.
Hoseok is ogling the second glass when someone quietly sits on the stool next to him.
Fucking finally.
He doesn’t look up until a smooth voice calls for his attention.
“Aren’t you hot under such a heavy sweater?” a man asks. Hoseok almost snorts, but opts to turn towards him, a polite smile already plastered on his face.
The guy is so clearly non-human it's ridiculous. He’s handsome, of course he’s handsome, because all vampires are, in some way or another, but unlike the ones in Hoseok’s life this guy is clearly not into blending in all that much. He doesn’t stand out like a sore thumb, but his clothing style is still very much unusual, a skinny neckerchief wrapped around his neck. His hands are long and bony and one of them is wrapped around a wine glass, swirling it around lazily. His lips are stained red. Hoseok doesn’t need to taste it to know that it’s not wine.
Hoseok would laugh, if it was any other day - if Yoongi was beside him, maybe - but the gravity of the situation stops him. His legs bounce up and down as an ugly anxiety creeps deep into his belly: things are always so much easier in theory. Hoseok refuses to let his smile falter as he checks the guy out from head to toe before saying,
“Well, aren’t you?”
The man laughs, clearly delighted that Hoseok’s decided to play along. His fangs are not out, but everything about him screams predatory. Hoseok hates it, almost as much as he hates that he’s actually doing this.
“I don’t feel hot very often. However, you look very much like you do,” he drawls, one finger pointing to Hoseok’s temple where sweat is beginning to condensate against his skin.
“Oh, I’m used to it,” Hoseok teases, waving a dismissive hand around. He smiles all pretty before adding, “I do date a vampire, after all.”
The words are only loud enough for them to hear because Hoseok doesn’t want to call attention to himself, not regarding this. It clearly takes the man by surprise, if the way his bottom lip falls open is any indication. It only takes a moment before he recovers, eyes glimmering with amusement.
“And does your vampire boyfriend know you’re here all by yourself?” he asks.
The question sits massive in Hoseok’s gut, because he’s not used to lying to Yoongi. He’s not good at it and hates the position it puts them both in. He’s always been so open and honest and always hoped Yoongi would be the same. Thinking about Yoongi triggers some sort of despair inside of him, touches on that special place that only Yoongi’s allowed in. He decides to get this over with as quickly as he can, the thought of returning to Yoongi’s arms becoming more tempting with every passing second.
“My vampire boyfriend doesn’t control me,” Hoseok says. He takes a deep breath, adjusting his facial expression as much as he can. “But he also doesn’t bite me.”
Again his words clearly take the man by surprise. Hoseok doesn’t care, he wants to be as blunt as possible here. He wants to feel good and he wants to leave soon after. This man is a good shot of achieving that, but Hoseok doesn’t feel like dragging the whole situation on.
The man throws his head back and laughs. Hoseok tries not to wince.
“Oh, you’re definitely not what I expected,” he says, eyebrows quirked in delight. “May I ask if that’s your choice or his, mister…?”
“Hoseok,” Hoseok concedes, only because he’s sure he won’t concede anything else. “And it’s definitely not my choice,” he continues, looks up at the man and tries to stop the bouncing of his right leg. “That’s the only reason why I’m here, really.”
The man’s face lightens up so much it makes Hoseok’s nausea return, allowing for a bitter taste to sit on his tongue. He tries to focus on the man’s mouth; he knows it will make him more open and attractive, but his reasons couldn’t be more distant than desiring the man’s lips or his kisses. Hoseok would never. What he wants is inside, sitting pretty and hidden now, but definitely not for the entire night. He focuses on the man’s fangs so he won’t have to focus on anything else.
“I don’t think your boyfriend would be too pleased to hear that,” the man chides, but his voice is rich with amusement. His eyes are half-lidded as he looks at Hoseok as if he’s a christmas present that has arrived early. It’s gross enough for Hoseok to know he’s already won this game.
He decides to stop beating around the bush.
“That doesn’t matter now,” Hoseok smiles, strained, trying to calm the churning in his belly. “What matters is if you’re up to helping me or not.”
The man lets out a breath as he watches Hoseok reach for his glass and down his second - and hopefully last - shot. Hoseok doesn’t miss how the man’s gaze lingers on his neck. The tension is palpable, the man’s expression dark and wanting.
“How do you want to do it?” the man finally asks. It’s better than Hoseok had expected - he was ready to deny any invitations that might result in actions he surely wouldn’t want to do. He expected resistance, to be asked to go home with the guy, or to be demanded something creepy, but this. How do you want to do it. It’s perfect. Hoseok smiles to himself.
“We do it in the bathroom, not in your house or in an alley somewhere,” he says before pointing to the bartender, whose back is turned to them. “Also, I’ll let her know I’ll be returning shortly so you won’t be tempted to… Go overboard.”
The man grins slowly and then nods. “You’ve clearly thought this through, haven’t you, Hoseok-ssi?”
Hoseok doesn’t allow himself to grimace. He’s too close, too invested, to let this all go to waste. He ignores the man’s comment.
“There’s another thing,” he adds, watching the man’s finger tapping idly on dark wood. “You won’t go near my neck, it’s my wrist or nothing.”
A flash of annoyance passes by the guy’s face before he scolds his expression into a nonchalante one. Hoseok shallows around what feels like a rock lodged into his throat.
“That takes a lot of the fun from it,” the man says, voice casual, but it still sends a shiver down Hoseok’s spine.
“It’s that or nothing,” Hoseok repeats, tries to make himself sound assertive instead of scared.
The man shakes his head with a chuckle, dark hair falling into his eyes, acting as if Hoseok is a mystery puzzle he’s interested in solving. When he looks up at Hoseok again he’s got a smirk on his face. “Very well, Hoseok-ssi. I accept your terms.”
Hoseok didn’t know a person could feel anxiety and relief at the same time but apparently his body is very much capable of doing so. His legs feel weak beneath him, so he stands up carefully, leaning into the bar for support. He gives no warning, just raises his eyebrows before calling for the bartender, smiling at her as she approaches him.
“I’m leaving for a bit, but I’ll be right back, okay?” Hoseok tells her, tilts his head and points at the man next to him. “Make sure to notice it if I don’t.”
His tone is light and he says it jokingly, a pout resting on his lips, but hopefully that will do the trick. The man snorts as she glances at them both and grins, wide and knowing. “Of course, sweetie.”
And that’s it.
Hoseok leads without glancing behind, his heart hammering inside his chest. He’s the one that opens the bathroom door and, soon after, shoves them inside the stall farthest from the door and locks it behind them. It’s big enough that they fit inside comfortably. He forces himself to be the one to do it all because he needs to have control over this, needs to be the one responsible for it. It’s his fault, his sin, and his alone, the man being a mere pawn in his fucked up game.
His head feels light and his ears stuffed as he presses his back against the wall and looks up at the man - the vampire - and realizes that this… This is really happening. He both wants out and wants to get it over with. He wants it done quickly, wants to feel good as soon as possible so that he can leave satisfied. Hoseok wants to walk on clouds again and this is the only way he knows how.
The man is tall, towers over him, gaze dark. Hoseok bites his lip before rolling his right sleeve and presenting his wrist. It’s unmarked, golden skin glowing under the dim bathroom light.
“When I say stop you stop,” he says, trying to make it a firm statement and failing. Thankfully, the man only nods before reaching for Hoseok’s wrist, caressing the bone with his fingers. “Don’t try anything further,” Hoseok warns. “Just bite me.”
What’s probably a second feels like forever, the man taking one final look at Hoseok before ducking his head, opening his lips, warm breath ghosting over Hoseok’s thin, blue veins. Hoseok feels his heartbeats speed so quickly he’s afraid his heart will burst out of his chest. Any time now. Any time now this will be over. The man’s fangs finally protrude and Hoseok gasps and—
There’s a noise so loud Hoseok yelps and jumps, banging his head against the wall in the process. He has no time to register the pain before he’s being pulled by the back of his sweater. A wave of terror hits him as he’s dragged out of the stall, feet stumbling under his weight. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, senses too overwhelmed to comprehend anything besides the panic bubbling inside of him.
“Get the fuck away from him,” a deep, rough voice says behind him.
Hoseok’s knees buckle as he turns and sees Yoongi, face contorted in so much anger that his eyes are small slits under deeply furrowed brows. He’s snarling, fangs long and mouth open. His grip on the back of Hoseok’s neck is so tight it hurts. Never - not once - has Hoseok seen Yoongi like this, this predatorial, dangerous version of him.
Hoseok almost vomits right then and there. His head hurts from the whiplash of what had just happened. It dawns on him the fact that he has fucked up many, many times, but this one. Shit, this one takes the cake. Yoongi’s here, hauling him by the collar of his shirt, because Hoseok was inside some bar’s stall, with some random vampire, offering him his wrist. Mortification spreads through his chest as bile rises up his throat and he’s sure he could die right there if nature wanted him to.
“Hey,” he hears a voice say but it sounds distant, like his ears and brain can’t register much anymore. His vision is fogged, his thoughts hazy. “He asked me, okay? Begged me for it.”
A hand holds Hoseok’s belly and he realizes he’s being pressed against Yoongi’s chest, Yoongi’s arms claiming a protective and possessive stance around him. Yoongi growls, so close to his ear that Hoseok winces.
“Shut up,” Yoongi snaps, voice hard and aggressive. “Shut the fuck up and leave this place right now before I rip your head off.”
Hoseok’s eyes fall closed just after the man lifts his hands up and slowly, carefully, leaves their sight. He can feel the fast rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest pressed against him. Hoseok himself isn’t sure if he’s doing the same or if he’s stopped breathing all together. Every ragged breath that escapes Yoongi’s mouth sounds thunderous against the quiet around them. Hoseok doesn't know if they are alone or not, all he knows is that his senses are in overdrive and it’s like his lungs have turned to dust. Breathing has never been so hard before.
Because he didn’t make a mistake, no. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad he can hardly believe it; he was so, so close to letting some random dude bite into his skin just so he could get high on it. God, what the fuck. What the fuck. Hoseok had been anxious from the minute he conjured the scenario inside his head, had been panicky from the moment he stepped foot into this bar, but now. Now there’s a monster clawing at his chest and he feels himself break down, piece by piece.
He sags against Yoongi’s chest, body limp, as tears fill his eyes and roll down his cheeks. Yoongi adjusts their position so that Hoseok’s arm is around his shoulder and his own are encircling Hoseok’s waist, possessive hands on his hips. He doesn’t say anything as he drags Hoseok out of the bathroom, Hoseok’s legs completely uncooperative beneath thim.
He has only enough courage to look up at Yoongi, to take in the hard set of his jaw, the blazing rage burning deep in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Hoseok croaks. His vision is blurry from tears and the words barely come out, throat too constricted to work properly. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
And there it is, after so long, his overdue apologies. The words that should have left his lips two weeks ago come out now, when it’s too late. Hoseok feels a wave of dread washing over him as Yoongi doesn’t bother to spare him a glance.
“Don’t talk to me right now,” Yoongi grits out.
And it’s - it’s deserved. Hoseok knows it, but it doesn’t stop him from sobbing anyway. He has no idea if they caused a scene on their way out but he’s pretty sure there was no way around it. He doesn’t care though, can’t give a single shit about anything other than how he fucked up to such an extent that he’s not sure Yoongi will ever forgive him.
Yoongi’s hands are curled tight around his hips. Hoseok’s forehead is damp with sweat and his face is sticky with tears. He closes his eyes again, clamps his mouth shut so he won’t vomit, and lets himself be pulled away from the bathroom, from the bar, from the glowing red lights.
Before all this he was sure that withdrawal was the most painful thing his body could ever go through. Only now he realizes just how wrong he was.
~
The ride home is a quiet one, only disturbed by Hoseok’s gasps and sobs. He tries to muffle them with his hands as much as possible but they still ring loud in such a silent, small space. Hoseok avoids looking at Yoongi and chooses to stare ahead with blurry eyes. Yoongi’s hands are curled tight against the steering wheel, knuckles white.
At this point Hoseok doesn’t know if Yoongi’s more disappointed or angry at him. He supposes it’s only fair; there’s even the chance Yoongi won’t want to keep the relationship anymore. Hoseok is honestly surprised he has even endured it for so long, has no idea why Yoongi’s put up with his bulshit for months and months. Hoseok aches when he realizes he has nothing left to give, isn’t sure he ever had anything in the first place.
The tears keep flowing easily, staining his face. He’s such a mess, runny nose and puffy, red eyes. He’s probably still sweating, body hot contrasting against his cold and clammy hands. Hoseok doesn’t dare to open his mouth, and Yoongi doesn’t seem too keen on doing it either. Hoseok thinks that maybe they won’t ever speak to each other again, and Yoongi will just pack and leave in the morning.
It’s utterly surprising when Yoongi’s low voice jolts him out of his self imposed misery.
“Explain yourself,” Yoongi demands.
Hoseok has a hard time processing the words, blinks at Yoongi from his seat. Yoongi isn’t looking at him, but his jaw is set in determination. A minute goes by before Hoseok can find his voice again.
“I’m sorry—”
“Not like that,” Yoongi snaps, interrupting him. It’s completely unfamiliar, hearing that tone of voice directed at him. Hoseok shudders, shame rising to his cheeks as he lets his gaze fall back to his lap. When Yoongi’s voice rings again, it’s slightly gentler. “Explain yourself.”
Hoseok keeps his eyes trained on his lap. He bites down on his tongue to stop himself from letting more unwanted apologies slip past his mouth. He tries to wrap his brain around everything that has happened tonight and before that, all of his and Yoongi’s struggles. He would wonder when his life went to shit, but the truth is that he already knows the answer to that.
“I’m an addict,” he finally admits.
Unlike what he thought was going to happen, the ground doesn’t actually open up and swallow him whole. The world doesn’t stop spinning because of it. The word spoken out loud is still just a word, and it feels good to let it out for the first time. He half expects Yoongi to slam his hands on the wheel, to scream and seethe, but Yoongi doesn’t. Hoseok knows he’s deep into self hatred and masochism when he realizes that he’d rather have Yoongi yelling at him because he feels so bad like he deserves it. He’d rather have that than the reality, which is Yoongi turning to him slowly, eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
“You hurt me,” Yoongi says and Hoseok’s heart sinks six feet, so fast it gets him dizzy. “You’ve been hurting me for the past months, but— Hoseok-ah— do you realize it?” Hoseok bites his lip, tries to stop his crying for at least a second. “Do you realize that you’re the one who’s hurting the most?”
It hits him hard. He sobs as he rests his head on his hands, both elbows positioned on his knees. There’s a monster of grief inside of him, but he isn’t sure what he’s grieving.
“I don’t— I don’t know what to do anymore,” he says, voice small and hoarse. It’s a confession, coming deep from places inside him that he keeps closed at all times. Opening them hurts more than he thought possible. “Yoongi-yah,” he pleads, desperation creeping into his tone. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
He watches a tear slip down Yoongi’s cheek and supposes that being stabbed would probably feel better than watching it happen and know it’s his fault. They stop at a red light, soft street lights reflecting on the car’s windows and forming shadows that dance on Yoongi’s cheekbones.
“I don’t care about hurting myself,” Hoseok says, finally accepting it as an universal truth. “But I can’t— I can’t keep going on like this, not when it hurts you so much,” he tries to breathe but it turns into a small gasp. He closes his eyes. “You should fucking leave me.”
He’s almost at peace with how much he means it. Yoongi’s always been too much for him, too good, too selfless. Hoseok doesn’t deserve it. He comes to the realization that by dating Yoongi he bit way more than he could chew. He’s always been too much of a liability.
“Hoseok,” Yoongi’s voice filters through Hoseok's haze. He forces his eyes to flutter open because he owes Yoongi that at the very least. Yoongi’s dark hair has strings of golden light reflected on them and he opts to focus on that rather than on the expression on Yoongi’s face, if only because he can’t read it. “Hoseok, look at me,” Yoongi demands. Hoseok hesitates before complying. There’s an edge of anguish hidden in Yoongi's gaze that takes him by surprise. “Don’t ever say that again.”
The lights turn green and Yoongi almost falters for a beat before returning his attention to the road. “Don’t ever say that again,” he repeats. “I’m not leaving you.”
Somehow it hurts even more, knowing he’s receiving love he doesn’t deserve. “You should,” he whispers.
Yoongi’s hands clench on the steering well before he stretches them open, forcing his muscles to relax. “I won’t,” he says. It’s an affirmation.
Some of the knots sitting on Hoseok’s gut soften. Somehow, it always feels like Hoseok’s twisting his emotions into terrible, tight balls of shame, and Yoongi’s the one who’s responsible for coaxing them out of him.
Hoseok considers replying, but his throat is too constricted to allow any words to pass by.
It gets worse when they get home because it’s their home. It’s the perfect, balanced mix of his and Yoongi’s personalities, a stark reminder of how well their differences blend together. He feels so completely unworthy of it.
Hoseok stumbles inside and makes a beeline for their bed. His whole body aches as he drops onto it. He remembers of all the times Yoongi chose to lie beside him just because Hoseok enjoyed having him close. It breaks his heart into a million pieces. It hurts more to face his past actions when he’s inside a place based solely on love and affection. He finds his eyes wandering before setting focus on the bed lamp sitting on the nightstand next to Yoongi’s side of the bed.
It’s a silly, ridiculous thing Hoseok had bought Yoongi when they first moved in together. They never turn it on anymore because it’s too creepy to see the lights coming out of the plastic wolf’s eyes, but he clearly remembers how hard Yoongi had cracked up when Hoseok handed him the gift. 'It’s a wolf because at night we all need to handle our demons, hyung'. The memories twinge painfully inside his belly, reminiscent from healthier, happier times.
Hoseok all but wails into Yoongi’s pillow, Yoongi’s faint scent only spurring him on. He cries so hard he bawls, tears flowing full of regret, shame, anger and, hidden all under that - longing. He screams himself hoarse for what feels like forever, body shivering under its own intensity.
Hoseok doesn’t hear Yoongi get in, but of course he would eventually. Yoongi’s too caring to let Hoseok languish alone in bed. There’s a cool hand against his heated forehead pushing sticky bangs away from his eyes. Hoseok’s vision is blurry but it makes no difference when Yoongi’s supporting his upper body, helping him sit up straight.
He feels as limp as a doll as Yoongi sits on the bed himself, legs apart and back against the headboard, Hoseok’s back flush against his chest. Hoseok sags against him, some sort of melancholic love swelling deep inside his chest, under all the overwhelming heartache. He isn’t sure he would be able to say anything even if Yoongi asked him to, but Yoongi doesn’t, just lightly presses a gatorade bottle against his lips.
“Can you drink a little for me, sweetheart?” Yoongi asks, voice soothing. Hoseok doesn’t reply but lets his bottom lip fall open. Yoongi strokes his throat as Hoseok drinks, fingers soft and caring.
Hoseok pushes the bottle away with weak hands when he can’t take it anymore and Yoongi places it at the nightstand. Both of his arms encircle Hoseok’s waist as Hoseok curls himself into a ball against Yoongi’s chest. He still feels deeply undeserving of it but it’s so very good to be cared for right now. He’s sure that if it were anyone else, anyone but Yoongi, he would push them away. But it is Yoongi, and despite Hoseok’s many flaws he’s always been devoted to Yoongi in a way he never has been to anyone.
“I really am sorry,” Hoseok manages to croak after a while. Yoongi doesn’t stop gently rocking him. “It was never my intention to hurt you.”
Yoongi hums, cards his fingers through Hoseok’s hair. “I know,” he sighs. “But it hurts me when you try to hurt yourself.”
The words sting because they are so honest.
Hoseok also realizes for the first time that he’s been so caught up in his own feelings that he hasn’t been able to suffer through cravings for the last hours. He wonders when they will return and it surprises him how the thought is not as frightening anymore. It’s like he hit a rock bottom so low that any follow-up challenges seem more manageable. Realizing that as he’s curled so close to Yoongi’s chest brings a wave of relief he didn’t know he was still capable of feeling. It’s oddly comforting.
“I will get better,” Hoseok whispers and it sounds like a promise, like he’s compromising for the first time in over two months. It feels important when he says it, like he’s finally ready to start a new, clean chapter.
Hoseok all but melts when Yoongi presses a sweet kiss to the top of his head.
“I know you will.”
~
Hoseok wakes with pain settled right on the top of his stomach. He runs a hand down his face as he welcomes the pangs back, realizing there’s no getting away from them. It’s an endurance game now.
He tries sinking himself fully clothed into a cold shower. It doesn’t do much besides leave him trembling, legs numb and cold from where they are touching the tile. The cravings are hurting deep inside of him, muscles cramping from pain.
The door to the bathroom opens and Yoongi finds him like that, knees up to his chest and hands wrapped around them, head under icy cascates of water. Hoseok closes his eyes as Yoongi approaches him, hears his steady breathing and avoids looking at the concern that must certainly be coloring his features.
The water stops flowing but before Hoseok can begin shivering a fluffy towel is wrapped around his shoulders. The act itself is so caring that Hoseok almost feels bile rising through his throat from how much he still feels unworthy of it.
“Why do you keep doing it?” Hoseok blurts out, unable to face Yoongi.
Yoongi lifts Hoseok’s chin with one finger. Hoseok’s eyes flutter open, beads of tears stuck in between his eyelashes.
“Because I love you,” Yoongi says, dark eyes sweet and honest, words unwavering.
“But why?” Hoseok asks and then laughs, a wet choked sound. Before he knows it the words are flowing out of his mouth, unfiltered. “Why do you even bother? You’re immortal, you can have anything— anyone you want. You’re perfect, even with all your flaws you’re— you’re just perfect. Anyone would be lucky to have you, so why do you bother with the biggest fuck up on Earth?”
Yoongi waits a beat before answering. The silence is deafening as Yoongi sits down in front of him, right on top of the wet splashes that immediately soak through his jeans. He reaches out to rub his thumbs across Hoseok’s ankle, his hand large next to Hoseok’s delicate bone.
“Do you remember when we met?” Yoongi asks, his voice a low rumble. When Hoseok quietly nods, he goes on. “Back then I was ready to risk everything— anything, really, to feel happy again.”
Hoseok peers at him through his lashes as Yoongi’s fingers keep on massaging Hoseok’s ankle. “Immortality is a curse once you recognize that life is only happy when shared— friends, family, lovers. I had to watch everyone I love die, one after the other.” Yoongi’s lips curl into a rueful smile and Hoseok feels his heart clenching again. “It got better eventually when I met other people like me, Namjoon, Seokjin. Later on, Jimin. Still—”
Yoongi takes a deep breath. Hoseok reaches to lace their fingers together, not bearing to feel distant from Yoongi a second longer. He’s used to his own hurting, is unfazed by it, but to see the person he loves the most in pain… It’s almost agonizing.
“There was a piece missing and I didn’t know what that was. I dated around, fucked around, thought I had fallen in love a couple of times and— nothing. That is, until you.” Yoongi’s previous bittersweet expression transforms into a genuine soft smile.
Hoseok feels tears slip down his cheek, hot against his cooled skin. He doesn’t think he has ever cried so much before in his entire life. He would be worried of ending up hollow and dry after all of this is over if he wasn’t so sure Yoongi would breathe life into him.
How ironic, the undead breathing life into the living.
“You walked into a vampire bar without even knowing and just took on dancing like you didn’t have a single worry in life,” Yoongi continues, grins at him and Hoseok is surprised when he feels a lopsided smile tuck at the corners of his own lips. “Everyone was watching you grind against Taehyung and you didn’t give a fuck. I think by then each and every vampire in that room was ready to take you home - one way or another. So you can imagine my surprise when you approached my table, took in Seokjin and me and demanded me buy you a drink because mine looked tasty.”
Hoseok snorts, the sound so unexpected it startles him. He remembers that night very well, it’s one of his most treasured memories. He shrugs with one shoulder, pretending to act nonchalant but feeling far from it. “I was drunk, you were the prettiest person I’d ever seen. It was a match.”
Yoongi chuckles. Hoseok wishes he was able to store its vibrations inside of a small jar somewhere only he could reach. “You were in a bar full of vampires, there were many guys hotter than me. You could have chosen anyone.”
Hoseok shakes his head, fingertips coming up to sweep his wet bangs out of his eyes. “I didn’t want anyone— I was... Drawn to you from the moment I felt your gaze on me.”
It was true. Something about Yoongi’s eerie pale skin and bored yet heated eyes had left him intrigued, interested. No one else in the room - or anywhere - had the same aura as him. The fact that Yoongi’s sitting on top of wet tiles, holding his hand as Hoseok goes through the hardest challenge he’s ever faced is but a mere comprovation that while Hoseok’s often wrong about so many things, he was right about Yoongi.
Yoongi smiles before rolling his eyes. It’s soft, it’s banter. It’s what they used to be with so much ease before all this. “I suppose that was enough reason for you to corner me at my own booth, then.”
Hoseok returns his grin, the first true one they share in weeks. “Not before sneakily grabbing your drink and taking a sip, though,” Hoseok giggles. “I still don’t know how I was so bold back then, but it sure was a weird way to taste blood for the first time.”
Yoongi laughs too, a full body laugh, eyes crinkling and turning into small crescents on his face. Hoseok feels love blooming inside his chest at the sight, feels warm despite the cold water clinging to his clothes.
“I panicked,” Yoongi confesses. “I panicked hard— had to drag you out of there without causing so much fuss, but of course, fuss was caused anyway.”
Hoseok hides his amusement in the back of his hands. It’s good to be laughing again, it’s good to be laughing around Yoongi. With Yoongi.
“I still can’t believe that was the night I found everything I was looking for,” Yoongi admits. “I was in love in less than two days. I didn’t know feeling like that was even possible,” his eyes are kind as he looks at Hoseok as if Hoseok’s the most treasurable person in the universe. Hoseok feels like he’s glowing, spoiled with kindness. “Sometimes I still can’t believe it.”
Hoseok bites his lip, a few tears still managing to spring free. His smile is probably wobbly but he doesn’t care. Yoongi doesn't either, not when Hoseok launches himself into his arms, kissing his pretty mouth. Yoongi sighes, content, and holds Hoseok close to him. They are both wet, Hoseok still dripping, their clothes damp.
Time seems to stop as Hoseok makes sure to pepper Yoongi’s skin, mouth and hair with kisses. A wave of intense affection floods his veins and he feels so in love he can barely handle the butterflies’ wings flapping wildly against his stomach. It’s a little unbelievable, how after everything Yoongi’s still here, Hoseok on his lap, their mouths pressed together in a soft kiss.
Listening to Yoongi speak about him in that way, sharing confessions of how much Hoseok had meant to him—
Makes him feel a little less like a burden maybe.
When they finally get up Hoseok doesn’t let Yoongi carry him back to their room as he decides to stand on his own two feet, even if they are unsteady. As much as he’s grateful he can’t allow Yoongi to fight all of his battles for him - even though he knows Yoongi would do it in a heartbeat.
Hoseok does lean into Yoongi’s support as he helps Hoseok change into dry clothes, though. His hands never leave Hoseok’s hips as they guide him towards their bed. The sheets are warm, still too warm for Hoseok’s protesting body, but Yoongi is cool next to him.
“I called your boss,” Yoongi says. “You could take the whole week to rest and heal, if you want to.”
Hoseok sighs, presses himself closer to Yoongi. “I think I want to.”
~
It’s only after he’s rested more and popped a few Advills that Hoseok feels slightly better. The cravings are still there but there’s nothing he can do about that.
Yoongi’s at his studio when Hoseok knocks at the door, a glass filled to the brim with blood in his hand. Yoongi smiles at him from where he’s sitting, probably working on another personal music project from his laptop.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi,” Hoseok smiles back. He raises the glass in his hand. “You’ve been here for a while. Thought you might be hungry.”
It’s almost weird, the peace that has settled among them, and borderline surreal that Hoseok’s handing Yoongi a glass of blood without being triggered by it. It feels more like the Yoongi and Hoseok from before, even though Hoseok knows there’s no going back, not really, because their current versions are the result of both their rights and wrongs. Dismissing that would be dismissing their story and Hoseok’s way too tired of living in denial.
Yoongi accepts the cup and Hoseok presses a kiss to his hair, Yoongi almost purring under him. “Thank you,” he murmurs.
Hoseok shakes his head, an honest smile curving his lips. “No, hyung,” he corrects. “Thank you.”
~
Hoseok’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, bowl of tteokbokki on his hands as he slurps around a rice cake. He stirs some of it with his chopsticks and works on chewing and swallowing the bite already inside his mouth.
Yoongi’s on the couch, one leg stretched and the other bent, knees spread. He shifts his feet every so often, kneading Hoseok's thigh with his toes. Eminem’s casually rapping on the TV in front of them.
“This might be getting a little ridiculous,” Hoseok says, peeking at Yoongi from his seat on the carpet.
Yoongi’s lips twitch but his eyes are still focused on the music clip. “What do you mean? It’s a classic.”
Hoseok huffs a laugh and pinches Yoongi’s calf. Yoongi yelps, a cute sound that makes Hoseok smile. “I mean, yeah, but— ‘Recovery’, really?”
Yoongi’s still not looking at him, eyes watching intently as Eminem constantly disses his own self for fucking up so bad, the Not Afraid lyrics easily recognizable to Hoseok. Hoseok finds it incredibly relatable alright, but the fact that Yoongi chose that song for them to listen while Hoseok’s having dinner is absurd.
Yoongi’s twitching lips finally grow into a broad grin.
“They say music is healing, Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi laughs and then promptly yelps again when Hoseok gives his calf one more pinch. He tries to scramble away from Hoseok’s hold on his leg but Hoseok holds him close so that he can press a kiss to the muscle above Yoongi’s ankle.
Yoongi sighs and lets himself fall sideways while propping his head on the arms rest. His toes continue to poke Hoseok’s thighs but Hoseok doesn’t mind. They are quiet for a while as Hoseok finishes his bowl, licking the sauce from his lips in satisfaction. He tries to gaze sideways at Yoongi without making it too obvious that he’s staring.
Yoongi looks so peaceful and calm, content, that Hoseok really doesn’t want to interrupt, but he can’t help but to keep getting distressed by something that’s been gnawing at him for a while now. He musters up the courage to ask before he chickens out. He’s got the right to know.
“So,” he says, fingers playing with the chopsticks, gaze lowered to his lap. He waits from Yoongi’s distracted hum before continuing. “Was Jimin the one who snitched on me?”
Hoseok tries to keep his voice casual but there’s no denying the hurt that creeps on its edges. They haven’t been ignoring the topic but it’s clear that the both of them are still shaken up by that night. Yoongi visibly tenses, toes stilling. Hoseok squeezes his calf, rests his cheek against Yoongi’s knee.
“I need to know, hyung,” he whispers.
Yoongi sighs, lets his gaze drop to Hoseok’s face. “He didn’t,” Yoongi says at last. Hoseok lets out a breath. He didn’t realize how much that was weighing on him but it’s like a boulder has been lifted from his shoulders. He closes his eyes, grateful.
“Then how?” he asks, voice small. He already has his suspicions but needs to get them confirmed, if only to bring him inner peace.
Yoongi hesitates for a beat before answering. “Jimin mentioned it to Namjoon and Namjoon told me about it,” Yoongi says, voice a little strained. Hoseok doesn’t open his eyes. “Jimin teased him about how they are getting old— mentally, anyway. He wanted to tag along next time, to bring back the times when he and Namjoon used to go there, maybe.”
Hoseok lets his eyes flutter open only to see Yoongi’s earnest gaze already set on him. He squeezes Yoongi’s leg once again to let Yoongi know that it’s okay, he’s listening, and it’s okay. Yoongi takes a breath before continuing.
“Namjoon called me because he thought it was odd. He knew I wasn’t leaving the house and that something was going on between us and for him to hear of us suddenly going out like that... He had good intentions, really, but— even so it took him a while to tell me, too afraid to meddle,” Yoongi’s face hardens before he adds, “I almost didn’t get there in time.”
Eminem’s songs are still playing in the background but Hoseok can’t hear much over his heartbeat. He’s relieved Jimin wasn’t the one to tell Yoongi, even if Jimin shouldn’t have been aware there was a problem in the first place. Hoseok supposes a part of him was terrified of the possibility of Yoongi placing all the vampires in his life on guard duty, all ready to keep watchful eyes on him. He’s truly glad that wasn’t the case.
“Does Namjoon know?” Hoseok asks. His tone is soft and his cheek is still pillowed on Yoongi’s leg, refusing to move away. He needs to know all of this, but he also needs for him and Yoongi to continue being okay.
“No,” Yoongi replies. He hesitates for a second before reaching to tuck a loose strand behind Hoseok’s ears. “But he’s smart, you know that. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s some of it figured out.”
Hoseok breathes slowly through his nose before nodding slightly. He’s not mad at Namjoon and he feels much lighter now that he knows Jimin didn’t stab him in the back. Although he supposes that wouldn’t have been a betrayal, not really. Perhaps the real betrayal would have been for Jimin to turn a blind eye knowing Hoseok was blowing his life apart like that. Hoseok curls his fingers around Yoongi’s ankle before nosing at his thigh.
“I’m glad Namjoon told you,” Hoseok confesses. Yoongi’s eyes soften into warm pools of brown. “I’m glad you got there in time.”
Yoongi’s hand reaches to cup Hoseok’s cheek in his palms. “Me too,” Yoongi breathes. He bends to press a kiss to Hoseok’s mouth, his lips soft and plump. “Me too.”
~
Hoseok’s cravings become a part of him and there’s no getting used to it. He still manages to ignore them as much as he can, and takes great pride in it. Yoongi helps, but most of the time the battle is fought alone and he accepts that. There’s no telling how much it will take from them to go away because it’s not like there’s medical research on vampire bite addiction. Eventually, Hoseok grants Yoongi permission to tell Namjoon about it, hoping Namjoon will be able to get deep into researching the subject. The chances are slim, but if Namjoon finds anything on the topic at all it will already be a win.
Hoseok also wants for Yoongi to be able to get honest with Namjoon, to explain what’s been going on and why they’ve both been so weird. He supposes Yoongi owes his best friend that at least. Admittedly, the thought only surfaces after he realizes how much he owes - and misses - his own best friend right now.
Jungkook has been steadily texting him ever since Hoseok failed to show up at work. Instead of lying, Hoseok told him he has been sick a lot, which had prompted Jungkook to send him supportive messages everyday. Every single time his phone buzzes and he sees Jungkook’s picture on it, warmth blooms behind his breastbone. He’s getting each day more tired of lying - to Yoongi, to Jungkook, to himself. He’s already so tired, all the time, and pushing the people he loves away only makes that worse.
He tells Yoongi, explains how he misses being with Jungkook - with his friends. Yoongi’s understanding and, after a moment, suggests Hoseok should invite Jungkook over. He doesn’t hesitate before saying he’ll go to Namjoon’s. Hoseok knows it’s because he misses going out, too, but mainly because he wants to give Hoseok some privacy. It’s important, a sign of faith. Yoongi isn’t watching Hoseok like a hawk anymore and it feels like Hoseok has finally regained some of his trust.
Which leaves him where he’s now, sprawled on the couch, PS4 controller on his hand and Jungkook’s shoulder brushing his.
“Shit,” Hoseok whines as his character dies another tragic death, killed by Jungkook’s own. “How are you so good at this?”
Jungkook grins and bumps Hoseok’s side with his elbow. “I’m good at everything,” he proclaims. Hoseok snorts but knows it’s true. It’s infuriating.
Jungkook keeps annihilating Hoseok’s ninja with no mercy in sight. Hoseok grumbles under his breath a lot, tries pressing as many buttons as possible but it does nothing to help his case. The truth is: he’s not that upset about it. Every once in a while he’ll catch Jungkook’s gaze lingering on him, eyes soft around the edges and somehow it doesn’t bother Hoseok in the slightest.
He told Jungkook all about it before they started playing, words carefully muffled through mouthfuls of pizza. He avoided looking at Jungkook’s eyes, perhaps a bit afraid of judgment. What he didn’t expect was for Jungkook to grab his arm and pull him into a crushing hug, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. Not at all. Jungkook had sighed against his hair before whispering,
“Thank you for telling me the truth.”
And Hoseok has to admit that being here with Jungkook, the younger boy grinning and punching Hoseok’s character mercilessly - it means everything to him. Once Jungkook’s done with embarrassing Hoseok into defeat, he sighs and puts the controller down. He reaches for the pizza cardboard before grabbing a piece and stuffing it into his mouth. Even though it must be cold, Jungkook still moans around it.
Hoseok shoves at Jungkook’s shoulder. “Ew,” he complains. “Don’t be gross.”
Jungkook just grins at him, cheeks puffed out from how much food he has stuffed in his mouth. It’s horrifying, sure, but not really, because Hoseok can’t help feeling fond all the same. He pokes at Jungkook’s cheek, smiling as Jungkook tries to bat his hand away.
“I’m really glad you’re here, kid,” Hoseok admits. “Even though you’re annoying.”
Jungkook shallows another bite before rolling his eyes. “You wouldn’t last a day without me.”
“Maybe not,” Hoseok concedes. He reaches for a pizza slice himself, removing every olive from its top before biting into it and chewing slowly.
Jungkook grins before moaning around a bite again. Hoseok places the rest of the slice on the cardboard so that his hands are free to be used to relentlessly tickle Jungkook’s ribs. Jungkook tries to squirm away, balancing the pizza on one hand and using the other to cover his lips, trying not to spit anything in his haste. Hoseok gives him one last tickle before drawing his fingers away and allowing for his body to fall against the cushions, a lazy smile on his face.
Jungkook shallows loudly and grimaces at him. Hoseok takes in his offended look and laughs, and Jungkook slaps his hand on Hoseok’s thigh. Before he can say anything, though, he notices Jungkook’s ears get pink. Jungkook averts his gaze, eyes turning towards the floor.
“It’s a good thing you don’t have to,” Jungkook says, cheeks flushed. “Live without me, I mean.”
Hoseok feels affection spreading through his chest. Not for the first time Hoseok’s struck by how lucky he really is. He thinks saying that outloud might be too much, though, so he reaches to ruffle Jungkook’s hair.
“You’re the sweetest thing in the world,” Hoseok coos while Jungkook slaps his hand away.
“Ugh, shut up,” Jungkook grumbles, but his ears are still pink and the corners of his mouth are twitching.
~
Hoseok has always loved bathing, but now showers are pretty much his safe space. There’s just something about standing under hot water, the pressure massaging his perpetually sore muscles— it relaxes him more than anything else could.
Hoseok ducks his head under the stream and allows for his body to unwind, bit by bit. He bites his lips as he roams his hands along the entirety of his skin, leaving soap trails behind his palms. It’s all so comforting that when he notices his cock filling up, it doesn’t take him by surprise.
It’s not like Hoseok has been touch starved, not by a long shot, but having Yoongi snuggle with him is different from being pounded into bed until he screams. He knows Yoongi is respecting his time, his recovery, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss Yoongi behind him, under him, over him.
A simmering heat begins to coil tight in Hoseok’s belly. He sighs, content, as he lets his fingers brush down his body until they find the swell of his ass, soft and wet skin under his fingertips. He hums as he pulls one cheek apart, slowly edging one finger inside.
He feels a flush spreading through his body as he works the digit in and out, before carefully trying to add another. The stretch is too much without lubrication, so he removes his fingers slowly and steps out of the stall, body still dripping, to open a drawer and reach for the lube stacked in there. He coats his fingers enough to drip with it and places the small vial besides his shampoo bottle.
He reaches down again, pressing his fingers inside, groaning as his body relaxes progressively, allowing for a better slide. He can’t get a good angle, not like this, but it’s still more than he’s had in weeks. It feels good.
When Hoseok presses a third finger in he moans, a muffled thing against his other palm. He’s more than half-hard now, his thoughts getting hazy as he becomes light-headed due to the hot steam surrounding him. It’s not before he pumps his fingers in again and lets another moan out that he realizes Yoongi is probably listening to him.
The thought turns him on more than it should. He pictures Yoongi inside his studio, one hand wrapped around a pen, another clenched in his jeans as he listens to the show Hoseok wasn’t even aware he was putting on. He lets his fingers slip free and braces himself with one palm against the wall. The other one trails down his flat stomach, down the little soft patch of hair below his belly button, and grazes his cock.
“Yoongi-yah,” Hoseok gasps. He tugs at his cock, stroking it to full hardness and shuddering. “Yoongi-yah,” he tries again, a pleading tone coloring the edges around Yoongi’s name.
It takes a moment, but Hoseok sighs in satisfaction when he finally sees the doorknob turn. The door opens quietly, just enough for Yoongi to step inside and close it behind him. He rests his back against the wood and Hoseok bites his lower lip, keeping his hand into a slow, steady rhythm. Yoongi’s gaze is hot, his eyes half-lidded as he lets them wander down Hoseok’s body.
Hoseok is comfortable with his body, wouldn’t change it even if he could, but it’s the way Yoongi looks at him that makes him shiver despite being surrounded by hot steam. He notices Yoongi’s already got a semi, a visible hard-on tenting his jeans. Hoseok huffs out a low laugh, more breath than laugh.
“I see you have been listening,” he says. He’d meant for it to sound teasing, but there’s too much want creeping into his tone for it to be anything casual. Yoongi tilts his head to let it rest against the door, eyes still admiring Hoseok, and gives him a lazy smile. Hoseok’s heart stops beating for a small second before returning to its usual pace.
“Can you blame me?” he asks. Hoseok feels a chill roll down his spine as he runs the flat of his palm over the head of his dick. Yoongi keeps on watching.
“And you’re gonna just stand there?” Hoseok retorts, breath hitching when he sees Yoongi bring down a hand to palm at his own clothed cock.
“I like the view,” Yoongi shrugs, voice low, fingers massaging his dick through his trousers. Hoseok’s cock twitches under his hand and his cheeks feel heated. His whole body is brimming with pleasure and heat and the need for Yoongi to get inside him as quickly as possible.
“Sorry,” Hoseok says. He presses his thumb against the slit, another shaky moan leaving his lips. Yoongi’s eyes darken and Hoseok lets out another breathless laugh. “That’s not gonna work for me,” he turns around, one hand propped against the slippery tile and ass on display, warm water falling against his bare neck. “I need you here, Yoongi-yah.”
He only has enough time to hear a small groan before Yoongi’s pressed against him, his already bare chest sticking to Hoseok’s wet back. “Shit,” Hoseok’s head spins, his cock hard and flushed against his belly. “The super speed always fucks me up.”
Yoongi doesn’t bother to dignify that with a response, choosing to run his tongue from the side of Hoseok’s neck to his jaw, pressing a kiss against the bone. Fuck. Hoseok’s eyes roll back as a broken moan escapes his lips.
Hoseok thought he had the upper hand for a second there, but any reminiscence of that is immediately lost as his knees almost give under his weight, surprise and arousal bubbling inside of him so fast he gets dizzy. “Shit—” he repeats. “You— Shit— you touched my neck.”
Yoongi presses another kiss under Hoseok’s ear. “Is that okay?” he asks, his voice a low rumble that goes straight to Hoseok’s dick. Yoongi’s hands find his waist, thumbs rubbing slowly against his hip bones. “You used to ask for it, even after I stopped biting you.”
While there’s no uncertainty in Yoongi’s tone, Hoseok knows Yoongi is giving him time to back out if he wants to. Hoseok doesn’t. He lowers his hand so he can tangle his fingers with Yoongi’s. “It’s okay,” he manages, pressing himself against Yoongi’s chest. “I just— I didn’t think you would do it anytime soon.”
Yoongi hums and slides his hand up Hoseok’s abdomen, trailing a finger around Hoseok’s nipple, the small nub hardening under his touches. “I think I've learned my limits,” he whispers against Hoseok’s skin.
Yoongi pinches Hoseok’s nipple and Hoseok shudders. He presses his lips against Hoseok’s neck again, sucking a bruise on it. Hoseok sags against Yoongi, one of Yoongi’s arms encircling his waist to help keep him upright. It feels so good Hoseok wants to cry. It’s almost overwhelming, all of his nerves so sensitive under Yoongi’s touches. His neck has become such a forbidden topic - such a forbidden area - that feeling Yoongi’s lips trail kisses down his throat—
“Yoongi-yah,” Hoseok whines, trying to turn around, to kiss Yoongi’s mouth, but Yoongi’s hands keep him pinned in place. Yoongi’s hard, Hoseok can feel it, so he presses his ass against Yoongi’s crotch. Yoongi groans.
“You’re so hot,” Yoongi murmurs. One of his hands releases Hoseok’s hip to massage his ass, hands flexing against Hoseok’s soft skin. There’s another firm pressure of tongue against Hoseok’s neck and Hoseok reaches back with his hand to fist Yoongi’s hair, fingers twisting against silky strands.
Hoseok’s lips fall open when Yoongi’s thumb runs from Hoseok’s tailbone to his hole, catching at his rim. Yoongi rubs it with the pads of his fingers but doesn’t press inside. Hoseok’s eyes fall shut, hand clenching in Yoongi’s hair. “I want you to fuck me,” Hoseok mutters.
He can almost feel Yoongi’s smile. “I know you do,” Yoongi says, fingers trailing teasingly over Hoseok’s hole before he removes them completely. Hoseok’s body trembles as his heartbeat spikes.
“Yoongi-yah,” he whispers, lips quivering. Yoongi shushes him and runs a soothing hand down Hoseok’s spine.
“I’m getting the lube,” Yoongi explains, pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s hair. Before Hoseok can complain, Yoongi’s already spreading his cheeks with a hand. Now, when his fingers rub against Hoseok’s hole, they are slick. Slowly, Yoongi presses a finger inside, pausing halfway so that Hoseok can adjust.
Hoseok’s breath catches when Yoongi’s finger slides into his body completely. Yoongi pumps his digit in and out before a second finger joins the first, stretching Hoseok open. Hoseok lets his head fall forward, damp bangs clinging to his forehead. The third finger comes soon after, Yoongi stopping every so often to let Hoseok’s body accommodate.
Yoongi’s fingers are thicker than Hoseok’s, and the feeling of having three of them inside him makes Hoseok shudder. He bites back a moan as Yoongi starts to fuck him, gently at first, but increasing the speed with each thrust. Hoseok can’t focus on anything besides the easy slide of Yoongi’s fingers inside of him, filling him better than Hoseok’s ever could.
It doesn’t take long before Yoongi’s fingertips find his prostate and Hoseok lets out a drawn out moan as Yoongi lets his fingertips press against it. “Fuck,” Hoseok whimpers, hips jerking forward. “I’m ready—” he tries, but Yoongi’s fingers graze his prostate again, fucking into him a little faster, pressing into with purpose, again and again, and Hoseok sobs. “Yoongi-yah, if you don’t stop I’m gonna— Fuck—”
Yoongi slips his fingers free all at once and Hoseok cries out, the sudden emptiness making him shudder. “It’s okay,” Yoongi murmurs against the back of his neck. “I’m here.”
“Let me see you,” Hoseok pleads, trying to twist around. This time Yoongi doesn’t stop him, adjusting his grip on Hoseok’s hips so that Hoseok’s back is pressed against the shower wall, Yoongi’s nose almost brushing his.
Yoongi’s wet, small droplets of water running down his hair and face, pooling low in the duvets of his collarbones. His eyes are dark, long lashes lowered and Hoseok feels a shiver raise goosebumps on his arms. Hoseok reaches to grab the back of Yoongi’s neck and pulls him into a kiss. Yoongi’s lips part immediately, tongue wet and warm and soft. Yoongi grunts, one hand reaching down to curl underneath Hoseok’s knee before hitching his thigh up.
Hoseok moans and nibbles at Yoongi’s bottom lip. Yoongi grunts as Hoseok soothes the sting with his tongue, back arching when Yoongi reaches for his hips, pulling Hoseok up until he’s pinned against the shower wall and Yoongi’s body. He curls his legs around Yoongi’s waist, pleasure blushing his chest when Yoongi rolls his hips and presses, very slowly, into Hoseok’s body.
Yoongi only stops once he’s fully settled inside, panting against Hoseok’s mouth. The water is still running, steam fogging the glass around them. Hoseok digs his nails into Yoongi’s shoulders and Yoongi moans, thrusting his hips upwards. They both gasp as Yoongi slips a bit further down, before slamming himself inside again.
Hoseok lets his head fall against the crook of Yoongi’s shoulder, peppering the skin with open mouthed kisses. Yoongi adjusts his grip on Hoseok’s waist, distributing his weight more easily, before thrusting again, this time harder. A moan escapes both of their lips as Yoongi starts rolling his hips, building up a rhythm. His fingers are curled so tight around Hoseok’s bones that Hoseok's sure he’ll wake up with bruises in the morning.
Hoseok tangles one hand in Yoongi’s hair, pulling it sharply. Yoongi groans, snaps his hips upwards. He’s fucking Hoseok so hard they are both panting, the head of Yoongi’s cock brushing his prostate over and over again, sending shivers down his spine. He tilts his head to lick at Yoongi’s throat, tasting the salty undertaste of his skin, pleased to hear Yoongi’s breath hitching, the slap of their wet bodies almost obscene against the steady sound of flowing water.
“Yoongi-yah—” he calls, voice broken. “My neck—”
He doesn’t have to say anything else as Yoongi’s lips immediately drop to his throat, pressing a kiss there before sucking a bruise. Hoseok gasps and Yoongi pushes his mouth further down, kissing the entire column of Hoseok’s neck. Hoseok lets his eyelids flutter closed, bouncing easily on Yoongi’s cock, Yoongi’s hip slamming against his ass. There’s so much pleasure building inside of him, Yoongi filling him up and fucking him and kissing his neck and—
Hoseok comes with a sharp cry, untouched, orgasm ripping from deep inside of him, his fingernails digging into Yoongi’s back hard enough to mark.
Yoongi groans, Hoseok’s muscles clamping down on his cock, and he fucks Hoseok through his orgasm right into oversensitivity. Hoseok’s eyes roll back when Yoongi snaps his hips forward one last time, burying himself inside, as he comes with a broken moan. Hoseok’s thighs quiver around Yoongi’s waist, heart thumping loudly in his ears. He nuzzles his nose against Yoongi’s jaw as they both come down from it.
Hoseok runs his fingertips gently down Yoongi’s back, feeling the scratches he left there. Yoongi shudders before pressing his forehead against Hoseok’s. Time seems to stop by while they gaze at each other, Yoongi uncurling Hoseok’s legs from his waist and lowering them slowly. Hoseok closes his eyes and presses another kiss to Yoongi’s lips, smiling when he feels the corners of Yoongi’s mouth lifting.
“So—” Hoseok says, peering at Yoongi from under his lashes with a shaky smile on his face. “That was good.”
Yoongi laughs and tilts his head to kiss Hoseok again. He brushes the hair off Hoseok’s forehead with trembling fingers. “Yeah,” he agrees. The water is still running hot behind them. “That was good.”
~
Hoseok’s eyelashes flutter as he sleeps, one hand tangled in Yoongi’s shirt. His grip is loose, fingers twitching every once in a while. His cheeks are pink and his pretty mouth hangs open, bottom lip sticking out in a small pout. It’s endearing, it’s cute, it’s domestic.
Yoongi’s heart hasn’t felt a beat for over ninety years, but this - Hoseok curled against his chest, snoring softly, a sigh sometimes escaping his lips- it makes Yoongi’s heart soar. His heart can’t pump blood anymore, but it can feel heavy or light, can feel constricted or free. Right now it feels full.
Yoongi reaches to card his fingers through Hoseok’s hair, his touch gentle. Yoongi doesn’t want to wake him, not when Hoseok looks so peaceful, not when he’s finally begun sleeping through the night again - or, in their case, day. His smiles have become brighter and the stars have returned to his eyes. He still has bad dreams, bad days, so he goes out to dance more often now, only to return home sweaty and tired and content. Yoongi’s heart doesn’t beat anymore, but looking at Hoseok it feels like it might burst at any given second.
Yoongi’s so deep into his own thoughts that he almost misses the corners of Hoseok’s lips quirking into a smile.
“You’re such a creep,” Hoseok mumbles, voice scratchy from sleep. He cracks his eyelids open, gaze still heavy and eyes puffy. “I could almost feel you staring at me,” he laughs, a soft breathless thing. Yoongi smiles back, brushes his knuckles against Hoseok’s pink cheeks. “Have you been reading too much Twilight again, hyung?”
Yoongi hums, runs the pad of his thumb over Hoseok’s bottom lip. It’s a little chapped, but still soft. “Maybe,” he says. They smile at each other. “I’ve been trying to learn the glow in the sun trick for a while now.”
Hoseok makes a show of rolling his eyes, but he’s still laughing. His delicate hands tug at Yoongi’s shirt, trying to bring them closer, so Yoongi leans forward to press a kiss to Hoseok’s heated cheek. Hoseok lets out a soft exhale.
“I knew it,” Hoseok laments, nuzzling his nose against Yoongi’s jaw. “Always knew I’d end up being Bella somehow.”
Yoongi snorts. He brushes his fingertips down the side of Hoseok’s body, grazing gently at the slope of his waist. “You’d prefer to be Edward?”
Hoseok grins before biting his lip. He looks so beautiful under the warm orange glow of the sunrise. Yoongi’s heart can’t beat and his lungs can’t breathe, but his chest thunders and his breath hitches all the same.
“Nah,” Hoseok answers, tone light. “That’s your role.”
Yoongi ducks his head to press a kiss to Hoseok’s mouth while Hoseok giggles. Yoongi runs his hand over Hoseok’s ribs, letting his nails graze the soft spot that always makes Hoseok squirm. “Then don’t complain when I get creepy and decide to watch you sleep,” he says, whispering against the skin of Hoseok’s neck.
He can feel Hoseok’s pulse point flutter underneath the surface. Even without trying, Yoongi hears the quiet, steady flow of blood inside his veins. It’s futile to try to distract himself from it, to stop thinking of it as tantalizing, so Yoongi doesn’t. He welcomes Hoseok’s body as it is - taut muscles and golden shimmer, thin hands and long neck - and under all that, warm, red blood. Hoseok’s blood will always be a consistent part of him and Yoongi accepts that it belongs to Hoseok and Hoseok alone. It belongs inside his body, where it helps keep him alive and healthy.
The faint urge to bite is still there sometimes, fueled by want and habit, but it’s easy to not give into it anymore. Yoongi doesn’t bite Hoseok and Hoseok doesn’t ask for it. Yoongi knows this is a journey they need to walk together; as much as this is Hoseok’s recovery, it’s also maybe a little of Yoongi’s redemption arc, his way of making things right. While neither of them knew it was possible for vampire bites to cause addiction, Yoongi still took part in it. His fangs were the ones that breached Hoseok’s skin, over and over.
Now, he keeps them carefully retracted, sitting on top of his canines, far from Hoseok, far from causing any harm. It shifts their relationship dynamics, but it’s not for the worse. They hurt, they change, they grow. They keep on walking together.
Hoseok huffs and pushes at Yoongi’s shoulder until Yoongi’s lying flat on his back, Hoseok scrambling to get on top of him. Hoseok’s thighs feel warm pressed against his hips, Hoseok’s forearms resting on his chest as he peers at Yoongi from his dark lashes. Yoongi looks up at him, a smile sitting on his lips.
“Being Edward doesn’t give you a free pass to be a creep,” Hoseok complains, but his eyes are shining. Yoongi wants to kiss him, so he does, lifts his head and chases Hoseok’s mouth. Hoseok sighs against his lips. “You can’t end every argument by kissing me either, you know.”
Yoongi grins, bringing his hands to rest on Hoseok’s hips. “Then stop arguing with me so much.”
Hoseok sticks his tongue at him, childish and sweet and cute. All at the same time. “I still have a couple weeks left before arguing with you is completely off the table,” he says, a teasing look on his face. “After that I’ll behave, I promise.” Yoongi gives him a pointed stare before pinching his sides. Hoseok yelps and Yoongi laughs.
A couple more weeks. That’s what Namjoon had told them after stumbling into a century old story of a mistress that lost her mind after her allegedly vampire boyfriend left her. According to Namjoon, the lady’s case was filed under the schizophrenic tab, but the doctors had been surprised by her actual physical signs of withdrawal. Of course, she wasn’t properly treated for it, but according to the documents it took a little over two months for her ‘hysteric illness’ to stop. After that, she still claimed that her lover was a vampire, but wasn’t plagued by constant pain as much.
The story appears to be legit considering how Hoseok only got better and better, up to the point where he was fully functional again. Since so little is known about it they aren’t sure if the cravings will ever fully stop or if, like a smoker that still feasts on cigarette’s smoke, Hoseok will always feel a bit unsteady upon gazing at Yoongi’s fangs. It’s unknown territory for everyone, but it doesn’t feel like such a burden anymore. Not when they face it together, side by side.
Yoongi looks up at Hoseok, fondness swelling up inside him. He sits up, fingers still curled around Hoseok’s waist as if to keep him in place. Hoseok doesn’t try to move away, just rests his arms on Yoongi’s shoulder.
“I don’t mind you being annoying, you know,” Yoongi says. Before Hoseok can scowl or complain, Yoongi leans in and kisses him again. “As long as you’re happy,” he continues, feeling how Hoseok melts under him. Yoongi gathers up courage before adding, “Are you happy, Hoseok-ah?”
And Hoseok - Hoseok beams at him. His gaze is soft, cheeks still flushed from sleep. Not for the first time Yoongi’s struck by how lucky he really is. Pure adoration ripples inside his chest, steady waves of unadulterated love.
“Hyung,” Hoseok pulls back just enough to meet his gaze, eyes wide and so very honest. He ducks his head to press another sweet kiss to Yoongi’s mouth, smiling against his lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”