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Wow it’s been a while hasn’t it? First of all, I wanna thank the people that have commented and reached out to me even after all these years! I thought I had lost access to this account, and simultaneously I was so depressed I couldn’t keep posting anymore, so I figured it was best to unofficially abandon this fic. I know most of you were able to tell this fic was 100% me projecting my emotions and trauma in Keith, honestly, I just made him become me. I started writing this when I was 14/15, and I had just went through my first psych ward hospitalization, I wrote most of it in a journal I kept with me and then I continued it once I got discharged; I was in a really bad place back then, as you were probably able to tell. Writing and posting was therapeutic and cathartic for me. But during and after the pandemic I felt even hopeless than ever. Going through isolation both in the psych ward and then quarantine hit me hard. I lost all will to live and didn’t see the point of continuing posting (and living) anymore. However! Time has passed. I’m 21 years old now (almost 22!) and I’m doing so much better. I’ve recently started college (I’m an annoying film student yayyy), I’ve quit medication and I’m doing therapy only twice a month. I am as healthy as I can be. Will to live was hard to find but I finally got it!!! This fic has been sitting completed in my notes app for years. And the fact it’s still here haunts me a bit lol. But I've always appreciated knowing people liked it and related to it, as twisted as my thoughts were, I was able to find comfort in releasing these emotions and sharing them in what is, even in the year of our lord 2025, a safe space for dark unhealthy twisted thoughts, for and by the people. I will not continue posting the remaining chapters, matter of fact I’m deleting them from my phone as I type this, since not only could be triggering for me but most importantly, I reread it and I can proudly say I don’t relate to it anymore. That's not me anymore and consequently not how I see Keith in my head. I never stopped loving Keith and I have never and will probably never let him go. We’ve been growing and healing together since I started watching VLD in 2018, and he’s part of me and one of the many reasons why I made it this far. But I’m choosing to let go of this past that we share together. And I choose to move on with more healthy projects that will absolutely include him lol. You can go to my fan account of him on ig if you want @keithmhijo. I will be deleting the data of this account if a few days, so if you wanna reach out for whatever reason dm me there. I wish all of you the very best. - With love, Alex.