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Fists clenched tightly in his lap. Hopefully, Mr. Gavin wouldn’t be able to see them. He always scolded Apollo for showing weakness, especially when Apollo was standing as his co-counsel.
God, I shouldn’t be here. But he was. Apollo, more than anyone else, knew that closure was bullshit, but that hadn’t stopped him from showing up at the prison twenty minutes after getting a call from Mr. Gavin. His first call, in fact, since Mr. Gavin had gone to prison all those months ago. Apollo knew perfectly well that Mr. Gavin was angry with him after that second betrayal at Vera’s trial, but he was just so used to doing whatever Mr. Gavin said that he couldn’t help himself.
Idiot.
He wondered briefly whether he was more or less stupid for recognizing how idiotic his actions were while still going through with them, but a soft voice spoke before he could decide.
“Justice?”
Apollo jolted up, jerking his vision from his lap to the all too calm face before him. Shit.
“Yes?” He had to bite down the “sir” that rose to his mouth all too naturally. If Mr. Gavin hadn’t been in jail, if everything was normal, then Mr. Gavin would have reminded him of his manners, but instead he just chuckled softly at the way Apollo had to cut himself off.
“No need to be so nervous, Justice.” Mr. Gavin offered a kind smile, one that he had seen countless times. Was he faking it on my birthday? When I passed the bar? “I’m not mad at you for your actions during those trials. You were simply finding the truth, just like I taught you. Good job, Justice.”
Apollo hated the way he had to push away a smile and a grateful “thank you!” He nodded silently instead.
“Now then, I called you here because there are some things I think you should know.” Mr. Gavin leaned back in his chair, simply watching the way Apollo’s ears perked up at the idea of new information. “Before I get into that, though, do you recognize the name ‘Thalassa Gramarye?’” His voice had taken on that quizzical tone, that one he used when testing Apollo before a trial, the one that told Apollo that he couldn’t let himself fail.
“That’s Trucy’s mom, right?” Apollo answered automatically.
“Correct.” Mr. Gavin nodded to him. “Now, a small request. Please, look up a picture of her. I’ve instructed the guards not to take your phone away. I’d show you a picture I have of her myself, but I’m sure you would just think I forged it.” He laughed to himself as the joke sent chills down Apollo’s spine.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. When he first came in, he hadn’t even noticed how strange it was that he was allowed to keep it with him, but suddenly that was all he could think about. How much power does he have here? His nervous shivering was cut short as he tapped on the first picture of Thalassa Gramarye and his eyes zeroed in on her wrist.
No way.
Sitting there on both of her wrists were two bracelets, gold and chunky with a strange design on them. A very familiar design. His eyes darted from the screen to his own bracelet and back again, hoping to find some sort of difference between them.
It can’t be.
His thoughts seemed to freeze entirely, until the silence was interrupted by Mr. Gavin’s composed voice. “You know, Justice, there’s a rumor that Thalassa Gramarye had another child, but she lost him when he was very young. No one knew what had happened to him for a long while.”
Apollo could feel his mouth hanging open, and some part of him, speaking in Mr. Gavin’s voice, told him That’s not very dignified, now, is it?
“When I first met you, I honestly wanted to do a blood test, but I couldn’t get access to her body. She died in Europe, you know.” Mr. Gavin locked eyes with Apollo, who couldn’t bring himself to look away.“Your mother is dead, Justice.”
Apollo now knew that Thalassa Gramarye was his mom. And he knew that Thalassa Gramarye was dead. But still, those two facts didn’t seem to connect until Mr. Gavin said them aloud, and something in Apollo broke. All of a sudden, he was aware of everything in his body. The way his hands were clenched so tightly that his fingers painfully dug into his palms. The sound of his heartbeat echoing throughout his head. Every muscle in his arms and legs tensed. He could feel all of it, but it all faded away when he realized how widely Mr. Gavin was smiling at his shock. Apollo wanted nothing more than to be swallowed up by the earth, and Mr. Gavin was beaming at him.
Fuck you. Apollo couldn’t force the words out, too busy trying to think of some words that would express the shock, the rage, the- the everything that he felt.
“Don’t look at me like that, Justice.” Despite all of Apollo’s fury, Mr Gavin’s smile didn’t waver in the slightest. In fact, he leaned forward, and Apollo could just imagine launching forward at him, shattering the glass, but he wasn’t sure what would come next. Preferably, something that would cause him as much damage as possible. “I have more to tell you.”
Apollo wanted to run. One look at Mr. Gavin’s face told him that whatever he was about to say was the truth, because he knew that a painful truth would always hurt more than a painful lie. Whatever it was, Apollo didn’t want to hear it. I can’t hear it.
But his traitorous legs were locked in place, and his hands were frozen in his lap, so he couldn’t even clamp them around his ears. Nothing was left to protect him from Kristoph’s words.
“Wright knew about it all along.”
Apollo softly exhaled. That wasn’t quite as bad as he thought. Mr. Wright constantly seemed to be keeping secrets from him. What’s one more to add to the pile?
Of course, though, that couldn’t be all. “This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Why else would Wright hire you? You didn’t exactly prove anything at that trial. He practically defended himself.” Apollo’s throat dried, but Mr. Gavin kept speaking. “For that matter, have you ever wondered why I hired you? I was the most successful defense attorney of the decade. I never lost a case. Haven’t you ever wondered why I chose such an unrefined, poorly educated, slow student? You were a liability in most trials, always letting information slip to the witnesses, or showing your emotions so clearly that any prosecutor could call our bluff. But still, I kept you.”
That, strangely enough, was when Apollo’s throat began to close up, as though he might cry. He’d always had a constant fear that he just wasn’t cut out to be an attorney, that he’d never be good enough to be an attorney, and hearing it from his mentor made him realize just how many times he had blundered up in cases, even as recently as last week.
“No,” he managed to gasp out, intent on arguing somehow. “I fou- I still found the truth in all- in all my trials.”
Mr. Gavin raised a single eyebrow. “You know as well as I do that you wouldn’t have gotten nearly that far without the help of my useless brother or Wright, or even that girl. I’ve seen all of your trials. I’ve seen how useless you are.”
At that very moment, Apollo was so full of hatred. He hated Mr. Gavin for telling him that. He hated Mr. Gavin’s claims for being true. But most of all, he hated himself.
“Ah, don’t look so down, Justice.” Doesn’t he ever shut up? Can’t I be miserable for one second? “You have improved a lot these past couple months.” Shut up. “You’ve learnt quite a bit from Wright and that girl, haven’t you? And you’ve become rather close to them as well.” Just get to the damn point. “If something were to happen to you, it would probably greatly impact the two of them.”
For the fourth time in the past hour, Apollo felt like he was falling, yet his voice was incredibly still when he spoke, and didn’t betray a hint of emotion. “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t hire you for the novelty of employing Thalassa Gramarye’s illegitimate son. And I managed to go seven long, painful years without harming a hair on either of the Wrights’ heads. Surely you understand what I’m saying.”
No.
“Wright may have been able to protect that daughter of his, but he couldn’t hover around you every moment of the day.”
There’s no way.
“And you know what that girl wanted more than anything in the world? A family. Of course, she had Wright, but she thought she lost everyone else.”
He couldn’t have really…
Mr. Gavin cleared his throat, drawing Apollo’s attention to him, as that simple action always did. “And you more than anyone else, except perhaps Wright, know what I managed to do to Drew Misham.”
Apollo froze.
“I’d watch out if I were you, Justice. You wouldn’t want to upset Trucy, now, would you?”