Chapter Text
To be wanted. To be so desired you’re claimed by those who’re interested in you. Like an object.
“I want you.”
Jimin’s all too familiar with being wanted.
Wanted but not loved.
Sungwoon wanted him. He wanted him so much, he dare not let anyone else near Jimin. Jimin doesn’t like to think about those times; the phone calls, emails, voicemails, and roses that would randomly appear at his office. The memories crawl beneath his skin like ants, biting away at the softest and sweetest parts of him.
Jimin doesn’t want to be wanted. He wants what Jeongguk said days ago, he wants “more than that.” Jeongguk made him feel “more than that”, that night at the gala. Jimin could feel it in his hesitant actions and gentle way of speaking. He was completely different compared to the person Jimin initially met. That night at the gala, Jimin felt his heart move for the first time in a long time.
“…ark. Mr. Park?”
Jimin snaps out of his daze and smiles back at the lawyer handling his case. “Sorry…what were you saying?”
The lawyer, Lee Joon Young repeats, “Your restraining order against Mr. Ha is ending soon.”
Jimin’s expression falls and bitterness fills his chest. “Right…”
“We can discuss any further legal actions if you’d like to take any.”
Jimin shakes his head as he gathers his belongings, “That won’t be necessary.”
Joon Young gazes questionably across the table. “You don’t want to pursue anything else?”
“No…it’s bothersome.” He smiles meekly as he heads for the door. “Thanks, I’ll see you again.”
“Mr. Park—”
Jimin holds up a hand to stop him from saying anything further. “Thank you.”
Joon Young bites his tongue and bows as Jimin sees himself out. The door clicks shut behind him and he leans against it to gather his thoughts. Even though it’s been nearly three years since Sungwoon, the memories remain as vivid as those first days. Of course, Jimin hasn’t seen him around, but there’s echoes of him in the places they went to together. Echoes of him on the intimate places of Jimin’s body.
With a deep breath, Jimin shakes off those bitter emotions and walks down the long hallway. He passes several familiar faces and they look his way with a smile. Jimin’s frequented the Lee Law Firm often, so he’s friendly with quite a few lawyers and prosecutors. There’s a particular prosecutor Jimin is fond of; he’s quick-witted, wise with a touch arrogance and coldness that attracts many. Jimin especially likes his low and thoughtful way of speaking—it’s how he wins all his cases.
“Is that Park Jimin I see?” a voice bellows from down the hall.
Jimin follows the voice and his gaze lands on the prosecutor in question. “Yoongi!” Jimin exclaims as he bounds happily towards him.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen your face around here.” Yoongi says, pulling Jimin in for an awkward side hug.
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Jimin asks with a wide smile.
Yoongi agrees as he takes a step back to give Jimin a once over. “Looks like Glitz is treating you well.”
“As well as ever since I’ve taken on a rather difficult client.”
“Jeon Jeongguk, right?”
“Unfortunately.”
Yoongi squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. “Let me know if he gives you any trouble.”
Jimin smiles warmly, recalling the memories he has with Yoongi. He was around when Jimin first pressed charges against Sungwoon. He was a mentor of sorts, helping Jimin with the legal stuff and finding a suitable lawyer that would win the case. They grew even closer after Yoongi treated Jimin to drinks and they talked for hours about nothingness. That was when Jimin received a full lesson on alcoholic beverages from Yoongi.
“He’s just a little insistent.” Jimin murmurs.
“In what way?”
“Ways typical of an idol….” Jimin keeps it vague, not wanting to share the gritty details of his interactions with Jeongguk. But Yoongi is quick to catch on.
“I’ll walk you out.” Yoongi gestures for Jimin to walk ahead of him and Jimin quickly realizes he’s not getting out of this one. So, he falls into step beside Yoongi.
When explaining his business relationship with Jeongguk, he skips over how Jeongguk makes him feel when he smiles or how he couldn’t get Jeongguk out of his after the gala. Jimin isn’t emotionally ready to confront such feelings on his own, much less with a close friend.
“So, what I’m getting…is that he’s a bit of an ass but not as bad you thought he was?” Yoongi concludes as they round another corner.
“Yeah,” Jimin glances towards Yoongi, hoping he sounds convincing enough. “I actually almost told him about Sungwoon.”
Yoongi’s expression shifts with surprise.
“But I stopped myself, thinking, what’s the point?”
“Then why did you get close to telling him in the first place?” Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to ask.
Jimin comes to a halt in front of the entrance as Yoongi’s question settles on his mind. “I mean…it just happened that way. I was a little tipsy, it was late and we…danced.”
“You danced?” Yoongi’s tone rises incredulously.
“It was a heat of the moment type thing. Don’t read into it.” Jimin yanks the entrance door open and steps out into the sunlight.
Yoongi follows behind him, thinking that Jimin’s words sound more like he’s convincing himself not to read into it. He watches as Jimin fumbles for his car keys and waits for him to clasp them before speaking. “You okay?”
Jimin lifts his head with a short nod, “Yeah. Fine.”
“Jimin…”
Jimin runs a hand through his hair and continues smiling. “Don’t worry, hyung. It’s not like before. I’m positive.”
Yoongi squints for a moment before deciding to back off. He knows when to give Jimin his space and Jimin’s grown emotionally since then, but he can’t help but to worry. It’s not Jimin he’s necessarily concerned about, but the men who approach him. They’re usually after one thing and it’s the rush they get after messing with a confident man like Jimin, breaking him down and savoring the torment they put him through.
“I gotta go, so I’ll catch you later!” Jimin calls as he hurries to his car. He wastes no time ducking inside and starting the engine. Jimin usually doesn’t run away from such conversations, but it’s not on his schedule for the day. He doesn’t want to think about Sungwoon right now, much less talk about him. So, he’s escaping while he can. He waves to Yoongi before driving out of the parking lot. While he’s driving, he sees Sungwoon’s villainous face in the rearview mirror.
“Fucking ghost.” Jimin grumbles as he angrily switches on the radio.
*
Looking around Jimin’s office proves to be a decent way to pass the time while he waits. Jeongguk stops in front of Jimin’s bookshelf boasting his awards, accomplishments, and photos with celebrities. He’s smiling in a lot of the photos, but his eyes are empty. Jeongguk notices that there’s one photo tucked away between a couple books. He peers at it for a moment, then glances over his shoulder before looking back at the hidden photo. He reaches for it and gently tugs it out of its hiding place.
There’s a date written on the back that reads: January 2017. Jeongguk flips it over and sees Jimin and Sungwoon with their arms around each other. Jimin’s smiling, but this time his eyes are shaped like a crescent moon. He’s happy. Genuinely. Jeongguk spends quite some time staring at this photo, taking in the little details such as the way Jimin looks so small in the sweater he’s wearing and how his eyes shine through the stillness of the photo. The longer he stares at the photo, the more Jeongguk’s yearning to know more about Jimin grows. Sex is no longer the only thing on his mind, and he’s terrified yet intrigued by this fact as his high-school memories resurface.
“Snooping around now, huh?” Jimin’s voice appears suddenly and Jeongguk turns around so fast, he gives himself whiplash. It’s quite funny to see; his wide eyes and gradually reddening cheeks. Jimin laughs, closing the door shut behind him and walking to his desk. He drops his coat and bag atop it before melting into his seat.
“I was bored.” Jeongguk mutters as he turns to place the photo back.
Jimin grins, “What you should say is sorry.”
“Sorry.” Jeongguk’s reply is immediate and when he turns around, Jimin notices he’s nibbling on his lip.
“Sorry, Mr. Park.” Jimin adds just to tease him because he needs to get his mind off Sungwoon and Jeongguk’s the perfect opportunity.
Jeongguk picks up on the teasing nature of Jimin’s tone and says lowly, “I apologize, Mr. Park.”
Jimin beams, “Now take a seat.”
Jeongguk does as he’s told, sitting in the chair opposite Jimin’s desk. “Did we really have to meet today?”
“Did you have plans?” Jimin asks, flipping open his laptop and eyeing Jeongguk.
“I always have plans.”
Jimin snorts and says under his breath, “Course you do.”
“What about you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”
Jimin comes to a halt, his gaze narrowing in on Jeongguk who’s leaning back with his arms crossed. Jeongguk tilts his head with an eyebrow raise, urging Jimin to speak and break the tense silence building around them.
“I’m not trying to be an ass, okay?” Jeongguk mutters. “I’m just asking because I can meet with you later.”
Not bothering to reply, Jimin starts typing away at his laptop.
“If you need some space, I can give you that.” Jeongguk insists in a softer tone.
His tone throws Jimin off and after a second of thinking, he slams his laptop shut and stares straight into Jeongguk’s eyes. “Are you like this with all your publicists? Is this why they quit?”
Jeongguk blinks confusedly.
“Stop trying to get close to me.”
“Shouldn’t I at least know something about you since you know everything about me?”
Jimin scoffs with a shake of his head, “That’s not how this works.”
“Then how does this work, Jimin?” Jeongguk challenges, leaning forward until he’s in Jimin’s space. “Hm?”
“It doesn’t.” Jimin responds. “It just doesn’t.”
Jeongguk baffles at this and his heart plummets as Jimin’s words strike up bitter memories of his high-school years.
“You think it’s so simple, don’t you? You figured if you told me how much you wanted me, I would give in.” Jimin looks away from Jeongguk as an amused grin tugs at his lips. “I hoped that you’d be different, but you’re just like him.”
Jimin’s last words sting because that’s exactly what Jeongguk didn’t want to hear, but he hasn’t been acting in such a way for Jimin to think otherwise.
“We’re not talking about this anymore. Put on your fucking big boy pants and get over it.” Jimin bites and the venom in his words pulse through Jeongguk’s veins.
Jeongguk sits silently as Jimin opens his laptop and begins typing again. He’s silent as Jimin files through his paperwork and remains silent as Jimin tucks his hair behind his ear and focuses on everything that isn’t Jeongguk. He doesn’t want to deal with this right now; Jeongguk’s sad eyes, the nauseating feeling building in his chest or how Jimin knows Jeongguk isn’t like Sungwoon. He can see it in Jeongguk’s eyes, but Sungwoon’s buried himself in Jimin’s heart and he emerges every time Jimin tries to be happy.
“Why did you hope I was different?” Jeongguk asks softly.
Because I probably—mostly likely—am attracted to you, Jimin thinks this, but instead he says, “I hoped you were a decent human being that didn’t abuse their power, that’s all.” Jimin tugs at the shoulder of his shirt, revealing more of his collarbones.
“Is that what he did?”
Jimin tugs at his shirt again.
“Jimin?”
“Yes, okay! He hurt me in ways you’d never understand,” Jimin bursts like fireworks, his words popping into the air with the hurt from those years. “Sungwoon was a monster, Jeongguk. He was a beast that waltzed around like any sane human being.”
Jeongguk immediately replies, “I’m not a beast.”
“Are you really?” Jimin glowers his way as the question barely slips past his lips. “You act like you’re entitled to everything, approached me for sex. Sex!? Simply because you wanted me.”
Jeongguk’s gaze drops as he recalls that conversation. He shouldn’t have approached Jimin that way. Honestly, he shouldn’t have approached him at all. If Jimin wanted to deepen their relationship, he would’ve. It’s his choice and Jeongguk realizes he was wrong for trying to push anything onto Jimin. More than want Jimin sexually, he should’ve expressed his desire to see Jimin genuinely happy like in the photo with Sungwoon. An apology isn’t what Jimin wants, he wants Jeongguk to stop and that’s exactly what Jeongguk’s going to do.
“Okay…” Jeongguk murmurs.
“Okay?”
“I’ll stop everything,”
Jimin eyes him skeptically.
“Everything.” Jeongguk reiterates.
True to his word, the conversation ends there, and they begin to discuss Jeongguk’s fan meet and the numerous magazine interviews lined up for the week. There’s a few magazine companies Jeongguk isn’t too fond of, so Jimin makes a mental note to call them and let them know that his client is no longer interested.
“Everything sound good?” Jimin asks, organizing the papers on his desk so he doesn’t have to look Jeongguk in the eye.
“Yeah,”
“Great then our meeting is over.” Jimin keeps it short as he gestures to the door.
Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate this time, instead he rises from his seat, thanks Jimin for his time and sees himself out. The second the door clicks shut, Jimin groans and leans back in his seat. Is this happening? Am I allowing this to happen? He drapes an arm over his face and sucks on his bottom lip. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before calling up to Seokjin’s office.
“Jiminie! My King! What can I do for you?” Seokjin answers jovially.
“Dinner.” Jimin deadpans. “I want dinner and an expensive bottle of wine.”
“I won’t ask why, but you got it.”
“Great,” Jimin drags a hand down his face. “Invite the newbie.”
“Roger. I’ll see you tonight then.”
*
There’s a hidden gem in Seoul Jimin likes to frequent after a stressful day at work called Kimlee’s which is a play on their surnames and the word ‘family’ since it’s owned by a family of five. Jimin appreciates the comfort in the décor and the freshness that can be tasted in each dish. He discovered such a gem thanks to Sungwoon—the only good thing that came out of their relationship.
“You got us the best seat in the house!” Seokjin declares, startling the hostess that directed him to his seat. She bows before scurrying off.
Jimin shakes his head with a grin, “Every seat here is the best.”
“I’ve never heard of this place.” Taehyung comments as he looks around. His eyes are sparkling and Jimin finds that endearing.
Jimin gestures for them to have a seat and Taehyung fumbles for the seat directly beside Jimin. He seems eager, but Jimin doesn’t comment on it. Instead he flicks open the menu and orders what he always orders: their signature kimchi stew, a plate of samgyeopsal and a bottle of soju.
“I thought you wanted wine?” Seokjin pipes.
Jimin waves a hand, “I’m getting completely wasted tonight. Soju, wine, beer—bring them all!”
Taehyung’s eyes widen adorably, but Jimin isn’t drunk enough to gush about how cute the newbie looks. Like a kid or baby, a very handsome baby, but still a baby.
“What’s gotten into you?” Seokjin asks.
“Jeongguk.” Jimin answers but immediately regrets it when Seokjin smirks devilishly. “Don’t.” Jimin warns.
“I said nothing.” Seokjin raises his hands in surrender.
After placing their orders, Taehyung is quick to pick up the conversation. The topic being the one and only, Jeon Jeongguk. It’s always Jeongguk. Seems like everyone around Jimin wants to know about him.
That’s because he’s your fucking client, Jimin’s brain supplies, ‘course they’re interested.
“I’m surprised though. You’re nearly going on a month with him and there hasn’t been a scandal.” Seokjin says. “What’d you do to the man?”
“Nothing…” Jimin mumbles as he stuffs his mouth with lettuce and pork. He chews, swallows, and asks belatedly, “A month already?”
Seokjin nods, “It’s been what—two weeks?”
“Three.”
Seokjin leans back and claps exaggeratedly. “I’m proud of you.”
“Teach me your ways, sunbaenim.” Taehyung hiccups.
Jimin looks his way and notices Taehyung’s cheeks are slightly flushed even though he’s barely touched the soju in front of him. Jimin releases an endeared breath, reaching over and poking Taehyung’s cheek. “You a light weight?”
Taehyung raises a hand, “A little bit…I don’t drink much.”
“I can tell.”
Seokjin leans back with a proud sigh and boasts, “Look at how well my subordinates get along.” He shakes his head with a laugh. “Ha, ha, ha. I always choose the best.”
Without a word, Jimin pours Seokjin a glass of wine, silently urging him to “shut up and drink.”
The night wears on and Jimin laughs the hardest he’s laughed in a long time. Taehyung comes to life when he’s tipsy, making jokes and suggesting they dance in the middle of the restaurant. Seokjin watches everything unfold with a broad smile and orders another bottle of wine for them. They eat enough for a large family and Seokjin struggles to pay as he holds a drunk Jimin in his arms. He has one of his drivers take Jimin home.
Jimin stumbles into his apartment and he laughs at the shadows on the walls before plummeting to his bed. He flops around for a bit before pulling his phone out of his coat pocket. It’s the alcohol that gets to his head and encourages him to send Jeongguk a single message.
Jimin
11:46pm
thAnkaas
Jimin kicks off his shoes and nearly falls off the bed when his phone dings.
The Asshóle
11:46pm
Are you…drunk?
Jimin
11:47pm
Nope
Jimin stares at Jeongguk’s contact name and snorts. He thought he was pretty funny when he came up with that nickname: The Asshóle with an accent because Jeongguk’s not just any asshole. He’s as good as they get—a luxury item in the line of assholes.
The Asshóle
11:47pm
You are, you never text me this late. You don’t even text me.
The Asshóle
11:47pm
Are you home? Please tell me you took a taxi.
Jimin
11:48pm
Seokjinie-hyung had hsiss drievr bring me hooome
Jimin bounces to a sitting position with his phone still clutched between his hands. He stares down at the screen as the tipsiness begins to wear off. He reads over Jeongguk’s last message and bites his bottom lip in thought. He begins to type a message, erases it and starts over. He does this several times before pressing send.
Jimin
11:53pm
Thanks for respecting me…earlier
Jimin
11:55pm
I really appreciated that
The Asshóle
11:58pm
Oh, so you’re sober now??
Jimin
11:58pm
NooOO i’m still drunk af : (
Jimin
11:58pm
YES I’M SOBER
Jimin stares at his phone, eagerly awaiting Jeongguk’s reply when suddenly his phone lights up with Jeongguk’s contact name. Jimin hesitates, he takes a deep breath and answers.
“Hey,” Jeongguk’s voice crackles on the line and it sounds deeper than usual. “Thanks for talking some sense into me.”
Jimin tries not to fluster as Jeongguk’s voice fills his ears. Do like Jaime Foxx and blame it on the alcohol, Jimin reasons with himself.
“You there?”
“Y-yeah,” Jimin clears his throat.
Jeongguk laughs and Jimin’s heart gives a squeeze. “Good, good, so uhm…I guess I should hang up then.”
Jimin’s eyes bug, “That’s all you wanted to say?”
“Uh…yeah?”
“You could’ve just texted me.” Jimin says incredulously.
“And miss out on hearing your voice when you’re tipsy? Nah.” Jeongguk answers smugly.
“You’re unbelievable.”
Jeongguk laughs again, deeper than before like he’s battling with sleep. “I’ll see you.”
“Yeah,” Jimin murmurs. “have a goodnight.”
“You too.”
Jeongguk hangs up first and Jimin’s left sitting with his phone pressed to his ear. He isn’t sure how to process what just happened, so he’ll save that for the morning.
Jeongguk on the other hand, lies comfortably on his bed as he places his phone down with a smile. Just last week he mistakenly restarted his progress with Jimin and tonight, he’s finally put things back where they should be.
“Take it slow.”
When Jeongguk rolls out of bed, he’s in a good mood. An extremely good mood. When he drives down to the company to meet with the stage directors for the fan meet, Eunwoo can’t help but to comment on his amiable demeanor.
“What’s gotten into you?” Eunwoo whispers as the directors discuss.
Jeongguk shrugs, “Nothing really.”
“Really?” Eunwoo leans back to get a better look at his face. “You’re scaring me.”
Jeongguk chuckles, “I’m good, don’t worry.”
Eunwoo gawks at him as if he’s looking at some strange creature. Jeongguk reassures him with a squeeze to his thigh, but Eunwoo shudders and turns away from the stranger beside him. The meeting progresses smoothly and Jeongguk’s happy with the theme of his fan meet which pertains to blue. ‘Open the Blue Doors with Jeongguk this September!’ The Blue Doors are meant to symbolize Jeongguk’s faith and trust in his fans, and the path they’ve walked with him. However, blue represents so much more.
Blue means high school, first loves and messy kisses.
Blue means falling, scraping his knees, and crying into the dirt because the guy he grew up with and loved for years just rejected him. It’s hard for Jeongguk to forget the look of disgust on his face or how he’d sneer each time their gazes met in the halls.
Blue means protecting himself from the pain by becoming someone else.
Blue means hiding.
Blue is everything Jeongguk wishes to forget yet is ingrained in every part of him.
Jeongguk manages to get through the meeting and on their way out, the directors part ways, shooting each other confused looks. Jeongguk hasn’t stopped smiling. Not once. Which is probably why they’re confused (and terrified). Jeongguk doesn’t even stop smiling when Eunwoo tells him his next schedule—a commercial shoot.
The only thing he can think about is when he’ll see Jimin again. Did he get a hangover from drinking? Is he at the office? I hope he’s happy right now.
“Can you tilt your head a bit, Jeongguk?” the photographer requests.
Jeongguk angles his head so his hair falls into his eyes.
“Perfect!”
He’s dragged from schedule to schedule but gets through it with a smile as he thinks about seeing Jimin the next day.
Jimin
5:45pm
Interview tomorrow. I’ve attached some notes
Jimin
5:45pm
Read them or I’ll burn your balls : )
The Asshóle
5:46pm
Oooh, I kinda like the sound of that ; )
Jimin
5:46pm
🖕
Jeongguk laughs as he ducks into the backseat of the black Escalade and Eunwoo peers at him from the rearview mirror with a knowing look.
“Are you crushing on someone?” He teases.
Jeongguk clicks his seatbelt into place. “You could say that.”
“Ooh, who’s the lucky girl?”
Jeongguk’s body stiffens and he stares at Eunwoo. Right, he doesn’t know and of course he doesn’t know…I set things up to be that way.
“It’s nothing, uhm…is that all for today?” he asks, trying his best not to show his discomfort on his face.
Eunwoo seems to buy it as he drives out of the parking lot. “Nope, you’re done nice and early.”
“Can you drop me off at Jimin’s office?”
“Why do you want to go there? Aren’t you meeting tomorrow?”
“I just…want to see him.” Jeongguk says softly.
Eunwoo’s quiet for a heartbeat before shrugging. “Can do.”
“Oh! But before that, you know the bakery across from XS?”
“Yep,”
“Let’s stop there first.”
They stop at the bakery and Jeongguk orders enough cookies and sweets for the employees on Jimin’s floor. It’s a grand gesture, but one Jeongguk doesn’t think is enough to make up for all the times he’s treated Jimin (and other publicists) like shit.
His appearance shocks Jimin’s who’s seated in the office with the red head from gala night. What was his name again? Taesung? Taejoon? Taehyung! Jeongguk’s bad with names.
“Am I…interrupting?” Jeongguk asks.
Jimin blinks in surprise, looking to Jeongguk then to Taehyung then back to Jeongguk. “No…we were just—why’re you here?”
Jeongguk closes the door with his foot, “I brought cookies.”
“You brought…cookies?” Jimin echoes.
“Yeah…” his gaze flicks to Taehyung.
Taehyung looks between the two and he’s quite perceptive because he’s on his feet in seconds. He excuses himself with a square smile, slipping out the door while humming Yiruma’s Kiss the Rain.
“Ignore him.” Jimin mutters, pointing to the box in Jeongguk’s hand. “What kind?”
“A peace offering.”
Jimin chokes, “A what?”
“The peace offering kind.” Jeongguk steps closer. “I thought I’d let you know that I’m not the type to expose how someone behaves when they’re drunk.”
It takes Jimin a second to make sense of what he just said, but once he does, he picks up a paperweight and flings it at Jeongguk. Luckily, he’s able to dodge it and it lands on the floor.
“You’re fast.” Jeongguk whistles.
“Why’re you here? We’re not meeting till tomorrow.”
Jeongguk plops into the leather seat. “Just wanted to talk.”
“About?”
Jeongguk shrugs, placing the box of cookies onto Jimin’s desk. “Anything.”
“I’m a busy man, Jeongguk.”
“I know. If you don’t want to talk, just pretend I’m not here and continue working.”
Jimin squints, “You’re freaking me out.”
“I’ve heard that a lot today.”
Jimin continues to eye him, his pretty eyes turning into slits of skepticism.
Jeongguk chuckles, “I’m trying to be your friend, hyung.”
Jimin’s eyes go so wide, Jeongguk fears they may pop out. “What the fuck?”
“No? Calling you hyung is a no?” Jeongguk asks sweetly, eyes round like a deer.
“The fuck?” Jimin jumps from his seat and begins pacing behind his desk. Not once does he look away from Jeongguk. After a moment of pacing, he snaps his fingers and points excitedly to Jeongguk. “You did something didn’t you? What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything, I swear.”
“Did someone write an article? No, that can’t be, I would’ve known.” Jimin mutters to himself.
Jeongguk watches him amusedly, eyes shining with adoration.
“You fucked something up. I know it.”
“Hyun—”
“Don’t!” Jimin practically shrieks. “Don’t fucking call me that.”
“Why?” Jeongguk asks with a grin, noticing the way Jimin’s cheeks are flushed.
“Just don’t. Oh my god.” Jimin shakes head.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk teases as he rises from his seat and he repeats it until he’s standing in front of Jimin. “Jimin-hyung.”
Jimin glares as Jeongguk inches closer into his space and he doesn’t stop glaring until Jeongguk has him pinned against the window. “Is this who you really are?”
Jeongguk smiles, “Maybe.” He resists the urge to look at Jimin’s lips because he doesn’t want to give him the wrong impression. He doesn’t even touch him, instead he stares steadily into Jimin’s eyes. He’s so fucking beautiful.
“You’re too close,” Jimin whispers.
“Sorry,” but Jeongguk doesn’t budge.
“Do anything stupid and I’ll knee you in your dick.”
Jeongguk laughs, leaning forward and burying his face in Jimin’s shoulder. “Trust me, hyung. I’m not here to do anything. I really just want to talk.”
“And trust me, I took taekwondo in high school and self-defense in college. Haven’t been able to flex my skills in a while.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to be more surprised by: Jimin’s self-defense history or his use of ‘flex.’ He sighs defeatedly, a smile threatening to break free as he basks in the vanilla scent emitting from Jimin. “You’re adorab—”
Suddenly the door opens and Taehyung steps inside, “I heard screaming, so I came ba…” he trails off as he takes in the scene before him. Jeongguk in Jimin’s arms and Jimin’s flushed cheeks.
Jimin reacts quickly, pushing Jeongguk away and rushing up to Taehyung. He yanks him inside and slams the door shut.
“What…” Taehyung begins as his gaze drifts to Jeongguk.
“You saw nothing, got it.” Jimin states sternly.
Taehyung’s gaze snaps back to Jimin’s face and the truth becomes so apparent in Jimin’s panicked eyes.
“Not a word about this.”
Taehyung nods, “I understand.”
Jimin relaxes before turning to Jeongguk. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jeongguk stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Yeah…”
“And thanks for the cookies.”
They part ways on a rather awkward note, but they’re able to joke about it the next day. The gradual change in their relationship doesn’t go unnoticed by those around them; how they smile when they’re together and joke around. Jimin also picks up on the way Jeongguk begins apologizing with his actions. He’s careful to stay out of trouble and he goes out of his way to respect Jimin’s space. It’s a welcome surprise.
Two months into their contract and they’ve developed a friendship that teeters on the edge of being something more. They’re spending more time together with the excuse being related to Jeongguk’s fan meet preparations. When Jimin’s not cooped up in his office making calls and generating exposure, he’s meeting with Jeongguk to talk. Jeongguk hasn’t mentioned Sungwoon since that day in Jimin’s office and Jimin appreciates it.
They talk about meaningless things to get their mind off their hectic schedules and Jimin falls for Jeongguk’s lisp that appears whenever he’s excited about something. There’s things about Jeongguk, Jimin would’ve never considered possible given their first encounter, but Jeongguk’s a complete nerd. When he’s not being Idol or Asshole Jeongguk, he’s an utter softie (Jimin might’ve heard a thing or two from Dahye). He gets shy whenever Jimin’s too close or he says things that don’t make sense when Jimin teases him for the fun of it.
Unfortunately, within these two months, Jimin’s restraining order against Sungwoon has expired. Since its expiration, Jimin hasn’t allowed Sungwoon to control his happiness or his life. He won’t think about what he’s doing or if he’ll randomly appear. Jimin wants to live his life and move on. It’s what he deserves.
According to Seokjin, two months of no scandals calls for a celebration. Hence why they’ve all gathered at a popular bar a few blocks from Glitz.
Dahye raises her glass of beer for an impromptu cheer. “To success!” she clinks glasses with Namjoon who’s seated to her right and he turns to Seokjin with a sheepish grin.
Jimin looks knowingly between the two but hides his smile with his glass.
“To success!” Taehyung echoes, leaning over and knocking his can of Coke with Hoseok. Hoseok laughs brightly, hitting a hand to his knee and pointing to Taehyung’s Coke can.
“You don’t drink?” Hoseok inquires.
Taehyung shakes his head, “I’m a lightweight but a fan of red wines.”
And as smooth as silk, Hoseok suggests, “We should go drinking sometime. I know a good wine place
Jimin places his glass down, shooting Hoseok a knowing look. He’s all too familiar with flirty-Hoseok. Seems like he’s laid eyes on Taehyung and Jimin’s more than okay with that. Taehyung’s a sweetheart and Hoseok deserves someone just as sweet as himself.
“To success,” Jeongguk says softly beside Jimin, raising his glass with a tender gaze.
Jimin clinks his glass to Jeongguk’s and they share a sweet look.
Dahye’s quick to catch on, “Okay,” she slams her glass to the table and points between them. “when did you two get so buddy-buddy?”
Jimin and Jeongguk exchange a look.
Jeongguk clears his throat, “It kinda just happened that way.”
“You don’t have any…dirt on him that none of us at this table know about?” Dahye inquires.
Jimin smirks, “Publicists always have dirt.” he winks her way.
Dahye squeals, careening backwards but Namjoon is quick to catch her. “Did you hear what he said?” she giggles. “Publicists always have dirt!” she tries to imitate his tone, but her words come out slurred.
Namjoon gazes softly at her as he helps her sit up. Seokjin watches the exchange with warm eyes before clearing his throat and directing his attention to Jimin.
“My King!” He begins dramatically. “Don’t you have an announcement to make?”
Jimin blinks, processing what Seokjin just said before releasing a gasp. “That?”
“Yes, that.”
Everyone at the table freezes and their gazes zero in on Jimin who laughs. He wasn’t planning on announcing it tonight or at all since this isn’t the first time he’s been on the front cover of a magazine.
“I’m going to be on Forbes.” Jimin responds. “They’re going to do a full story on me.”
Dahye is the first to cheer and her voice startles several guests in the bar. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you.”
Congratulations and praises pour out for Jimin and another round of drinks is ordered courtesy of Seokjin. As the night progresses, Jimin finds himself leaning into Jeongguk more and touching him. Each time he laughs, Jeongguk is there to catch him and Jimin doesn’t miss the tender way in which Jeongguk gazes at him or how his body burns in the places Jeongguk touched. No one else seems to notice the exchanges between them or if they do, they’re careful not to comment on it because of Taehyung’s and Seokjin’s presence.
Namjoon gestures to Jimin when he suggests that Jimin should write a book. “I’m sure it would be an instant bestseller.”
Jimin laughs, “You have high hopes for me.”
“We all do.” Taehyung joins.
It’s nice to know that he has people in his life who genuinely care about his success. It’s thanks to such a support system that he’s gotten to where he is now. Honestly, he could’ve hidden after things broke out with Sungwoon, but he took it in stride and held his head high.
“Thank you,” he looks around the table, meeting eyes with each one of them. “I mean it.”
Hoseok teases Jimin about being a softie and they all joke around. Jeongguk remains silent as he gazes at Jimin and his cheeks flush when Jimin suddenly turns to him with a smile. They don’t speak as the chatters tunes out into silence and Jeongguk briefly wonders if this is what it feels like when someone has finally allowed him into their universe.
A few rounds later, they all walk out of bar, their laughter echoing into the night.
“Do you need a ride?” Hoseok offers as the others go separate ways.
Taehyung idles around with his hands in his pockets and his head low so his hair hangs in his eyes.
“I rode with Jeongguk,” Jimin jabs a thumb in Taehyung’s direction. “besides…it looks like you have company.”
Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows. “Then I’ll see you.”
Jimin salutes and watches as Hoseok skips off with a smiling Taehyung. They’d go good together; Hoseok’s dated numerous men and women, but none of them ever lasted past two months. The longest was two and a half.
“How long do you think it’ll take until they’re official?” Jeongguk asks once Jimin falls into step beside him.
“If Hoseok really likes him and if Taehyung’s into guys, then…a week or two?”
Jeongguk hums in approval, “I’m bad at judging things like that.”
“Is that why you’re still single?”
Jeongguk glances his way, saying softly, “Nah, I freak out when things are going too well.”
“Why?”
“Highschool memories.” Jeongguk replies lightly.
“Oh…”
This is unchartered territory for Jimin; Jeongguk’s never talked about his reason for not coming out publicly or the times the conversation steered in that direction, he’d change the subject. That’s his prerogative and all, but Jimin knows it’s not an easy path to take, having to be someone you’re not. It wears on a person.
“You’re not as slick as you think you are.” Jimin says suddenly as they walk in the dark to Jeongguk’s car. He decides it’d be best to change the topic given Jeongguk’s downcast expression.
Jeongguk grins and his eyes light up, “Oh really?”
“Suddenly behaving, listening to me and not giving me any hassle.” Jimin lists off. “I know what you’re doing. Apparently everyone in our friend group knows.”
“Good,” Jeongguk drops his tone to a gentle whisper. “I want you to know.”
And unexpectedly, like all things that have happened between them, Jimin asks something that catches them both by surprise.
“Do you…want to come over?”
Jeongguk freezes, his hand going still as he reaches for the car door. Jimin remains on the passenger side and not once does he tear his gaze away from Jeongguk’s shocked face. A late-night bus drives by and fills the silence between them with its loud engine.
The implications of Jimin’s words don’t fall on deaf ears and Jeongguk wonders what his intentions are. Jimin’s perplexing to say the least, but Jeongguk’s drawn to that and the hope that maybe tonight, Jimin will finally let him into his heart.
With a small smile, Jeongguk tugs open the car door and says, “Sure.” And he doesn’t think about this being a mistake or what they’ll do once they’re at Jimin’s apartment. He doesn’t want to think about it or give Jimin the wrong impression.
*
Jimin’s apartment reflects his put together nature. The walls are painted a creamy white along with the furniture that neatly lines the living room. However, the more Jeongguk looks around, the more he realizes the white walls almost seem as if they’re screaming to be painted a bolder color. Screaming to finally be set free.
“Would you like anything to drink? Water? Coffee?” Jimin asks coming up behind Jeongguk.
“I’m good, thanks.”
Jimin brushes past him, shrugging off his coat and draping it across the back of the couch. Jeongguk’s eyes linger on the beige couch before sliding towards the painting above the TV. It’s an abstract painting in reds and pinks, and whites—a melting flower.
“I didn’t take you as an art connoisseur.” Jeongguk comments.
Jimin laughs shortly, “I’m not. It was a gift from one of my clients.”
“Nice.”
Jimin smiles to himself as he disappears into the kitchen. He busies himself by making coffee because he doesn’t want to think about his intentions for asking Jeongguk to come over. He hurriedly pops a pod into his Nespresso and tucks a mug beneath the spout.
“You invited me over for coffee?” Sungwoon asks smugly as he fights back a laugh.
Jimin fiddles with the mug handle unable to meet Sungwoon’s gaze.
“I know that’s a joke.”
“I…just wanted to talk.” Jimin replies as he finally looks into Sungwoon’s eyes.
Sungwoon steps closer, invading Jimin’s space and pulling him close by the waist. “Don’t lie to me.”
But he was telling the truth. Jimin didn’t want sex from Sungwoon. That was the last thing he wanted from him. He just... he wanted to be important to someone and to learn more about Sungwoon’s celebrity friends and—
“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, suddenly appearing behind Jimin.
Jimin startles, snatching up the mug and spinning to Jeongguk with a smile. “Fine.”
“You’re totally not,” Jeongguk walks up to him and gently plucks the mug from his fingers. “you were holding this so tightly, your knuckles turned white.”
Jimin’s eyes flutter when Jeongguk leans around him to place the mug back on the counter. He smells like cinnamon spice and wood. Jimin’s eyes slowly scan Jeongguk’s body and it’s hard to ignore how well-built Jeongguk is. His chest, his arms, and his neck. Jimin bites his bottom lip.
It’s rather difficult working alongside someone who is insanely attractive. To top it all off, ever since Jeongguk’s stopped being an asshole, he’s become 100 times hotter. Jimin might’ve imagined Jeongguk’s arms doing a thing or two to his body, and it doesn’t help that he’s near Jeongguk almost daily.
Jimin feels like a tea kettle seconds away from bursting.
Jeongguk pulls back and says softly, “You should get some rest. I’ll go.” But his actions are opposite to his words. His gaze lingers on Jimin’s face and his eyes shake as he tries not to look at Jimin’s lips.
When’d we get so close? Jeongguk thinks as he notices the way Jimin’s looking at him. Does he know I want this? I hope he knows that it runs so much deeper than want.
“Jeongguk,” Jimin’s voice fills the silence with its huskiness.
Jeongguk fights back a shudder as his gaze becomes more hooded. “I should reall—”
“Stay.”
Jeongguk knows he should go. He knows neither of them are ready for the possible consequences that will come tomorrow. He knows there’s personal emotions he and Jimin should take care of before deepening their relationship, he knows yet…
“Okay,”
…he makes a choice.
Jimin smiles as he takes Jeongguk by the hand, walking him to the living room and pushing him onto the couch. Jeongguk falls into it with a loud thump and Jimin doesn’t waste any time as he climbs onto Jeongguk’s lap.
Jeongguk doesn’t know where to look as everything around him suddenly becomes Jimin, Jimin and more Jimin.
“Take off your shirt,” Jimin commands as he does the same.
Jeongguk waits a moment, wanting to see Jimin strip. The flash of skin he sees has him hard in seconds. Jeongguk hurries out of his shirt, tossing aside the expensive Gucci Dahye fawned over earlier this evening.
Jimin smiles down at Jeongguk as he grips Jeongguk’s full chest. “You’re a wet dream.” He slides a hand across Jeongguk’s abs, savoring each flex and ridge.
“No, no you’re fucking unreal.” Jeongguk hums as he soaks in Jimin’s toned stomach and the thighs he’s drooled over on numerous occasions. “Holy shit.”
Jimin begins working at Jeongguk’s jeans, “Well, thank you.”
“No, thank you.” Jeongguk hooks a finger to Jimin’s chin, beckoning him for a kiss, but Jimin slips out of it.
Instead he kisses the mole at the center of Jeongguk’s chest. “I like when my ass is groped.” Jimin whispers.
Baffled by Jimin’s actions and statement, Jeongguk blinks. “Come again?”
Jimin smirks, “You can touch me.” He grabs Jeongguk’s hands and maneuvers them to his back. “Touch me here.”
Jeongguk hesitates, studying Jimin’s face before slowly inching his hands down Jimin’s back.
“Keep going,” Jimin murmurs as he moves to suck on Jeongguk’s earlobe.
Eventually Jeongguk’s hands follow the curve of Jimin’s ass and he squeezes. Jimin has an ass sculpted by the Gods. Such a perfect ass and Jeongguk can’t help the thoughts that fill his mind. Too bad Jimin’s slacks are in the way.
Jimin breathes harshly into Jeongguk’s ear, “Harder.”
“Fuck me.” Jeongguk says lowly, cock fully erect and pressing against Jimin’s who slowly begins to move his hips. Jeongguk uses his hands on Jimin’s ass as leverage and pushes Jimin closer.
“You’re so hard for me, sweetheart.” Jimin sighs when their erections press together. He continues grinding against Jeongguk, rolling his hips fluidly until Jeongguk’s grunting in his ear.
“I’ll cum if you keep doing that.”
Jimin laughs, “We can’t have that, now can we?”
“No, we can’t.” Jeongguk drops his hands from Jimin’s ass and watches as Jimin climbs off his lap.
“Give me a second.” Jimin says as he leaves to retrieve a condom and bottle of lube from his bedroom.
Jeongguk sits on the couch with a hand over his flushed face and his dick painfully hard. He drops a hand to his jeans and begins to mindlessly rub himself over the zipper. His eyes flutter and his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.
“Jimin,”
“Impatient much?” Jimin teases as he walks up to Jeongguk. Having undressed in his bedroom, he now stands naked in front of Jeongguk,
“What the fuck,” Jeongguk gives his cock a hard squeeze, almost choking at the sudden sight. “Jimin, you…” He tries looking everywhere at once, starting at Jimin’s face and all the way down to his long legs.
“Take off your jeans, wrap this around your dick and watch me.” Jimin says in a single breath, tossing Jeongguk the condom.
He manages to catch it despite the arousal fogging his mind. However, he doesn’t get a second to process anything else because Jimin’s back to straddling him. This time he grips one of Jeongguk’s shoulders and uses it to steady himself as he dips two fingers into the lube.
Jeongguk’s breath catches as he watches Jimin’s hand disappear behind him. He stops breathing altogether when he hears the squelch of Jimin’s fingers slipping inside himself.
“Shit,” Jeongguk exhales.
Jimin chuckles, grimacing slightly as he spreads himself open. He glances down at Jeongguk’s dick and groans in frustration because he’s going to have work himself open to fit Jeongguk comfortably.
Jeongguk swallows thickly as he listens to Jimin’s soft whimpers.
“Status?” Jimin questions since this is something they should both know about each other. He’s also hoping they’ll have another chance to do this, so it’s best to know now.
It’s an expected question, so Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to answer, “Clean. I actually…it’s been a while.”
Jimin smirks, “I can tell.” A second later he adds. “I am too.”
Jeongguk smiles, tearing open the condom and keeping his eyes on Jimin as he slides it onto his cock.
Sex with Jimin isn’t really …sex. It’s a show (a show involving Jeongguk’s dick), but a show, nonetheless. Jimin takes the reigns, telling Jeongguk how to lay and hold him. Jeongguk doesn’t mind it as the head between his legs does the thinking. He likes how Jimin feels in his arms; hot, sweaty, and so close. He wants to kiss him, but every time he makes a move to do that, Jimin turns away.
“Thrust into me.” Jimin whispers as he grips Jeongguk’s shoulders.
Jeongguk does as he’s told, delivering a sharp thrust into Jimin and then another in quick succession.
Jimin’s lips twitch against Jeongguk’s earlobe as his knees sink deeper into the couch. “Sl-slower,” Jimin huffs.
“Slower?”
“Uh-huh,” Jimin’s voice shakes as Jeongguk stretches him. “want to feel you inside me.”
Jeongguk’s stomach flips with arousal and his grip tightens on Jimin’s hips. He really wants to flip Jimin over and fuck him into the couch, grip his hips and kiss the dip of his back, but he’s certain Jimin would put an end to this. Whatever the hell this is. So, he gives it to Jimin slow. His cock slides in and out of Jimin and Jeongguk can’t look away from the obscene sight—wants to sear it into his memory.
The couch creaks beneath their weight and their gasps fill the silence. Jimin’s vocal and Jeongguk loves it. Every time he brushes his prostate, Jimin whimpers, digging his nails into Jeongguk’s shoulders.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk grunts when his cock slides even deeper into Jimin. The slide is so slick and tight, Jeongguk shudders and prays to whatever god there is that he doesn’t cum. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonn—hey.”
“Sssh,” Jimin shushes, sucking at the side of Jeongguk’s neck. “don’t speak.”
Jeongguk bites his bottom lip, groaning when Jimin purposefully clenches around him. I’m going to die with my dick up his ass.
Jimin pauses for a moment, sitting on Jeongguk’s lap and breathing heavily before bouncing up and down. “Yes, yes,” Jimin moans.
He’s such a fucking sight to see. Silver hair matted to his forehead; neck, and chest red and nipples erect. Jeongguk wants to bite them, mark him up all nice and pretty, but Jimin won’t grant him the luxury.
“Jeongguk,” Jimin whines. “Oh my go—Gguk.”
The lovely yet lewd way Jimin moans his name causes Jeongguk’s restraint to crumble. He snaps, slamming up into Jimin, taking him to the hilt. Their bodies meet with a resounding slap and Jimin cries as his back arches.
Jeongguk doesn’t let up, repeatedly thrusting into Jimin. His thighs tense and his cock swells, and his body is on fire, but the burn feels so good. However, the pleasure is abruptly cut short when there’s a sudden, sharp nip to his neck.
“Ouch, what the hell?”
Jimin leans back to finally peer into his eyes. “Behave.” He hisses, pushing his silver locks out of his face.
The motion causes Jeongguk’s breath to catch, “What do you want me to do?” he asks breathlessly.
“Sit there and let me ride you, it’s easy.” Jimin grins wickedly. “Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”
Jeongguk nods eagerly, wanting to be good for Jimin—good to him.
Jimin caresses Jeongguk’s damp cheek and smiles. “Good.”
Jeongguk watches this time, watches the way Jimin bites his lip to keep from moaning, the way his cock bounces with each roll of his hips.
“You feel amazing.” Jimin mumbles when Jeongguk grazes his prostate. “So good for me.”
“How good?” Jeongguk asks and he’s surprised by how shaky his voice sounds.
“So, so good.”
Their eyes meet, but only briefly before Jimin’s looking away and speeding things up. Every time their bodies meet, Jeongguk sees stars and his body buzzes. He hasn’t felt this good in so long and the pleasure is making him a bit delirious. Short, desperate grunts escape him each time Jimin sinks down on him.
Jeongguk slides his hands along Jimin’s sides, feeling along the curve of his hips and then up to Jimin’s chest. He doesn’t waste time as he brushes a thumb across Jimin’s hardened nipples.
“Pinch them,” Jimin orders as he looks at Jeongguk through glazed eyes.
Jeongguk hesitates before taking a nub between his fingers and slightly twisting. He doesn’t tear his gaze away from Jimin, etching in each flutter of his lashes and twitch of his plush lips.
“Wanna kiss you.”
Jimin shakes his head, gripping Jeongguk’s bicep. “N-no,”
“Why not?”
Jimin looks into his eyes again and shakes his head assertively. “Just because.”
Kissing is intimate and Jimin isn’t ready for such intimacy, he just wants to get off and feel good and make Jeongguk feel good. He doesn’t want to face what’s so obviously in front of him or risk losing what this is with Jeongguk.
There’s hurt in Jeongguk’s eyes, but it flickers out and turns into something darker. He wraps an arm around Jimin’s waist and pulls Jimin close until they’re sitting chest to chest. Jimin’s cock presses against Jeongguk’s lower stomach and he breathes harshly into Jeongguk’s ear.
Words become meaningless as their bodies do the talking. It’s a desperate mess as the creaking of the couch grows louder and the passion between them intensifies. Their bodies meet with a lewd slap that arouses Jeongguk and causes goosebumps to prick along his arms. He thrusts up sharply, his cock meeting Jimin’s prostate dead-on and causing Jimin to see sparks behind his lids. There’s nowhere to run as Jeongguk holds him tight, fucking into him until Jimin can no longer think.
“Gguk,” Jimin chokes, voice shaking with each thrust into his body. “Jeongguk, I can’t.”
Jimin’s basically been edging himself since he settled onto Jeongguk’s lap. It started when he first eased Jeongguk’s cock inside of himself. Jimin hasn’t had it this good in so long. He almost came from the initial burn of Jeongguk slipping inside. Not to mention the way Jeongguk’s voice sounds when he’s turned on; low and scratchy yet so sweet.
Jeongguk buries his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck, “You can.”
“No,” Jimin shudders as he feels the first warm flick of Jeongguk’s tongue on his neck. His neck is sensitive; he likes it the most when his lovers suck on his collarbones. Sungwoon had a habit of kissing the mole on his right collarbone.
“Do you know how tight you are? How h-hard it is to…hold back?” Jeongguk kisses his words into Jimin’s neck.
Jimin’s cock twitches, leaking precome onto Jeongguk’s tensed abs.
“Hyung,” He sounds so desperate, so fucking desperate and it gets to Jimin’s head. Makes him realize how badly Jeongguk’s waited for this—waited to touch him and see him this way.
“Jimin,” he claws at Jeongguk’s bicep as heat coils low in his stomach. “call me Jimin.”
Jeongguk huffs as his hands frantically trace along Jimin’s body. He strokes and grips Jimin, searing the warmth of his body onto his hands. “Jimin,”
“Mhm, sweetheart, perfect.” Jimin whispers and his voice spills like honey into Jeongguk’s ears; sweet and thick. He meets Jeongguk’s thrust with a bounce and their bodies sing.
Jeongguk buries himself inside of Jimin as his orgasm threatens to end their shared pleasure. He’s so close. Everything feels so good.
“Fuck, hyu—Jimin. I’m close.”
Jimin smiles, wrapping a hand around his cock to jerk himself off. “Okay, okay. Together.”
Jeongguk nods frantically, pupils blown as he watches Jimin lose himself to the pleasure. Jimin’s body glistens with sweat and his head swings back when Jeongguk hits his prostate again. He begins to jerk himself off in tempo to Jeongguk’s thrusts.
“N-next time I’ll let you fuck me how you want.” Jimin whispers when he feels Jeongguk twitch inside of him. “Bet you’d like that, sweetheart, putting me in my pla—ah.”
Jeongguk shuts Jimin up the only way he knows how by replacing Jimin’s hand on his cock with his own.
“I’d love that,” Jeongguk replies, jerking Jimin off. “but more than anything I’d love to kiss you and push into you slowly.”
Jimin pictures it; tastes Jeongguk’s lips, feels his hands and his warmth.
“I want to love you like you deserve to be loved, Jimin.” Jeongguk rocks up into Jimin as he says this. “You deserve everything.”
Jimin comes hard and it takes him by surprise. He intended to reach his climax with Jeongguk, but those last words touched a part of Jimin’s heart and body he forgot existed. His hips stutters against Jeongguk’s as his cum runs down Jeongguk’s slender fingers.
“You came…” Jeongguk says in awe.
Jimin’s body tingles and he still feels so full as Jeongguk continues thrusting into him.
“Sorry, I’m almost—almost there.” Jeongguk’s words come out stilted as his orgasm builds. “Almost.”
“It’s okay,” Jimin peppers kisses along Jeongguk’s shoulder and then down to his chest. “It’s okay…”
Jeongguk’s head falls back into the sofa cushion as he mindlessly plays with the hairs on Jimin’s neck. “Fuck…your ass feels so good.”
“Keep going just like that.” Jimin softly encourages.
“O-okay,” Jeongguk grunts, “you’re so tight and h-hot—swallowing me up.”
Jimin kisses the dip of Jeongguk’s shoulder, murmuring, “Cum for me, sweetheart.”
Jeongguk drawls Jimin’s name, hips thrusting up one last time.
Jimin moans softly when he feels the condom fill with Jeongguk’s release. “There you go.”
Jeongguk continues rolling his hips to ride out his orgasm. His forehead shines with sweat and his lips remain parted as short, uncontrollable moans drift from him. Jimin slumps against Jeongguk’s chest, not bothering to move even as Jeongguk softens inside of him.
Once Jeongguk’s recovered from arguably one of the best orgasms in his life, he kisses the top of Jimin’s head, rubbing gentle circles into Jimin’s back. “I’m not Sungwoon,” he says tenderly. “I’m not like him.”
This is when the realization of what they had just done hits Jimin like a bullet, shattering his shielded heart. His mask begins to crack and those horrid memories from years ago, flood Jimin’s mind. He scrambles off Jeongguk’s lap and his legs nearly give out, but he needs to get away.
“Sorry,” Jimin begins to gather Jeongguk’s clothes from the floor. “you should go.”
Jeongguk clutches Jimin’s wrist and looks pleadingly into his eyes. “Let me stay…please.”
Jimin stares in horror at Jeongguk’s naked body and desperate eyes. That’s my cum on his stomach, those are my bite marks, those eyes are because of me. He’s holding onto me.
“Please don’t tell me that we shouldn’t be doing this.” Jeongguk looks like he could break at any moment. “Please.”
“What happens if you stay?”
“We talk.” Jeongguk drops his hand and tugs off the condom that’s becoming uncomfortable.
He came because of me, Jimin thinks as his gaze follows Jeongguk’s movements. “There’s a bin in the bathroom…” Jimin mutters. “Toss it and put some clothes on.”
“Jimi—”
“Do that first…then we’ll talk.”
Jeongguk gawks at Jimin before scrambling off the couch and to the bathroom down the hall. He backtracks to take his clothes from Jimin then he’s gone again. Jimin sighs as he walks slowly to his room. He plucks up the silk robe on his bed and slips into it, tying it tightly around his waist.
Here goes nothing.
Later, once they’ve both cleaned themselves, they sit together on the living room carpet. Questions weigh heavily in the air and Jimin doesn’t know where to start. He’s never done this before. Any of this. At least not with someone he cares about. He cares about Jeongguk which is why they’re both sitting on the carpet like punished toddlers, the tainted couch in their peripheral.
Jeongguk breaks the silence with a question, “What was that about? I mean I know, but at the same time…I don’t.”
His tone conveys no emotion, so Jimin isn’t sure how he should respond. “What?”
“What we just did…the sex.”
“Oh,” Jimin’s gaze drops. “I…”
“Tell me.” This time Jeongguk’s tone conveys kindness and patience.
Jimin gnaws on his bottom lip, “I needed to feel in control.”
“Why?”
“If I’m in control, I won’t risk the hurt or the pain or the fucking misery of letting someone have control over me.” Jimin answers as suppressed rage brings tears to his eyes. “And…I wanted to do that with you. I don’t regret it.”
The words spill from Jimin and he tries not to shake as Jeongguk gazes at him. He’s afraid yet hopeful as Jeongguk’s words from earlier echo in his mind. He’s not like Sungwoon. He’s not Sungwoon.
Jeongguk reaches forward to lightly touch Jimin’s thigh, “I should also apologize.”
“For what?” Jimin questions as his eyebrows furrow.
Jeongguk averts his gaze. “I should’ve declined your offer and explained myself. I should’ve given you that space and asked the more serious questions.”
“Serious questions?”
Jeongguk nods, “Are you sure? Are you ready? Are you okay?” He looks back into Jimin’s eyes. “Inviting someone to your house is like inviting them into your heart.”
That’s exactly what Jimin did with Sungwoon all those years ago. He invited him inside and he destroyed everything, but Jeongguk is different. He’s so different and kind and loving.
So, this is what it feels like?
“I’m so sorry, Jimin.” Guilt drips from Jeongguk’s words and he can’t even meet Jimin’s eyes. “Sorry.”
This is the difference between wanting someone and…loving them.
Jimin places a hand over Jeongguk’s and says, “I’ll tell you.”
Jeongguk looks up.
“I’ll tell you everything that happened with Sungwoon.”