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Arthur was a very observant individual. Trained from a very young age to see things no one else could and make deductions from the evidence. Therefore, it was very obvious to Arthur that Merlin hated being without a tunic.
Merlin refused to swim unless he could keep his tunic on.
Merlin refused to wash the wine stains out of his clothes unless he could change first.
Merlin refused to dress unless he could lock himself in a room.
This was not a hard observation to make.
The reason behind Merlin's hatred of having a bare chest was more complicated.
Of course, Arthur first teased him for being shy about his girlish figure.
However, Merlin was not in the least bit shy of anything and had far too quick a reply about Arthur lusting after women for this to be the true reason.
Arthur’s tease then became about his lack of chest hair.
This was also untrue because if the cut was low enough and Merlin removed his neckerchief, Arthur could see Merlin did have chest hairs curling under his tunic.
Things became much more concerning when Arthur realized not even Gaius was allowed to see what was under Merlin’s tunic.
When being treated for a cut on his shoulder, Merlin rolled his tunic up high enough but refused to take it off. Arthur may or may not have been eavesdropping on the two when he saw the interaction.
Princes did not eavesdrop. They gathered intelligence.
As a physician, Gaius could handle seeing things like horrible birthmarks, warts, or third nipples.
This led Arthur to believe abuse. However, after sending Lancelot to tail Merlin for nearly a month and knowing how honorable and trustworthy Lancelot was, no one could possibly be abusing Merlin. Everyone loved him.
Therefore, Arthur was at quite the loss when it came to what Merlin hid beneath his tunic.
Then, Uther grew paranoid about the Druids. The Druids were peaceful peoples but they were still magic users. They would come to Camelot to trade their wares and sometimes those wares were magical. Uther wanted a stop put to that immediately. He suspected there was an insider supporting the Druid trades and needed that person found. He demanded everyone in the citadel be searched for the Druid mark.
Gaius was away. Lord Abbot was ill and needed the care of an experienced physician. Uther needed Abbot to return to good health as quickly as possible. There were whispers of groups imposing on the southeast and Abbot led their greatest defense. Abbot’s son had died from the winter. Without the man himself, there would be no leader.
Merlin was charged as journeyman physician to inspect all male servants for any sign of the druid mark. Gwen, as the highest ranking woman servant in the household, was tasked with the women. Gwen was checked by another trusted member of staff. Gaius would check the nobles on his return.
That left Merlin.
Merlin tried to hide away as soon as he heard Arthur coming.
Arthur chased Merlin into his small room and made sure the guards were at Gaius’ door. Arthur knew he was going to put up a fight about this.
“Can’t Gwen do it?” Merlin complained, arms crossed over his chest.
“No lady should have to see a man bare,” Arthur said.
"Then how do you plan to get an heir?" Merlin's face crinkled. "Please tell me someone had that talk with you. Really, I'm barely a physician. Not qualified for that speech. Though, I guess that would make me nobility so-"
"You do not qualify for nobility," Arthur huffed. "And if I have to hear your version of that talk I'm guaranteed to have bleeding eardrums."
"Great, so Gwen-"
"Gwen is not carrying your child, nor will she ever see you disrobed. I'd rather her eyes did not bleed as well as my ears."
Merlin shoved his body as far away as possible. He pressed himself into the wall near the window, as if he could make himself small enough to disappear outside of it. His voice whined, “Why can’t we wait for Gaius?”
There was the niggling possibility that Merlin could have a Druid mark. Of course, Merlin was incapable of aiding and abetting sorcery. If that boy had so much as uttered a spell in his life Arthur was sure the entire castle would be in flames. However, there was Will. Merlin’s best friend with magic. Young boys did stupid things. Perhaps Merlin saw Will’s mark and wanted one of his own. It would explain why Merlin kept his shirt on at all times, including hiding his skin away from Gaius. It was a dangerous mark to carry within Camelot’s walls.
Arthur sometimes hated how smart he was, figuring these things out and having to take the responsibility of the people around him when they were too stupid to do it themselves. Merlin was probably doing the best he could by begging for Gaius. Gaius used to be a magic sympathizer and loved his ward. Perhaps he would forgive the boy his young folly and love him enough to commit treason by lying to the king. With only Gaius as a witness and no others having seen Merlin’s bare chest, Uther would believe Gaius’ word.
Unfortunately, this was not something Merlin could handle alone.
“If I tell my father we are waiting for Gaius he will start to suspect you.”
Arthur was unsure if he should tell Merlin he had no plans to turn him in. For all he knew his deduction was incorrect. Perhaps it really was a disgusting wart with a third nipple growing on it and Merlin was seriously that self conscious. If Arthur made promises about Druid symbols he was not sure existed, he would be showing too much of his hand. Honestly, he was unsure why he was willing to cover for Merlin anyway. Clearly the boy did not trust him enough to tell him of the mistake he made when ten years old. He could reveal no cards until he had all the facts. For that, he needed to see for himself.
“Merlin,” Arthur tried again, holding up his hands in the most placating way he possibly could.
Merlin twitched like a rat caught in the dungeon.
Arthur shook his head. “It’s only me. I am fully prepared to see whatever mole it is that could make the likes of Gaius blush. Honestly, you must look like a toad.”
The look Merlin gave him was almost comical. His brow was furrowed, his mouth hung down, and he actually lost the ability to speak.
Arthur waited for his brain to spark back to life.
“A mole?” Merlin asked, scandalized.
Arthur sighed louder. “Merlin. You don’t have a choice. It’s either me or my father, and I-”
“Uther,” Merlin said suddenly. “I choose Uther.”
Arthur’s brain lacked life now. “Are you- Are you serious?”
“Yes,” Merlin said with no hesitation. He even pushed off his wall and made towards the door. “I’ll go to him now, shall I?”
Arthur thrust out an arm to stop him in his tracks. The room was so small he did not have to go far. “You would let my father see you bare chested before me?” He choked on his own words, too flabbergasted to form proper thoughts.
Merlin simply looked at him as if he were being the idiot.
If Merlin was willing to let Uther see, then that meant it was not a Druid mark after all. For surely he would know Uther would kill him without question. A public and violent display.
If it was not a magical mark, then what was it?
“Why?” Arthur demanded. “That makes no sense.”
Merlin shrugged a shoulder up. “You asked, I answered.” He pointed towards the doorway. “I’m leaving.” His gaze narrowed. “Or should I say, hopping?”
Arthur shoved a hand over Merlin’s chest and pressed down hard. He hoped it was a bunch of warts and that they were painful. “You can’t seriously think my father is checking the common folk for marks?”
Merlin took a step back and scoffed. “The common folk? I’ll have you know I’ve been looking at all sorts of folk all day today. I’ve seen everything.” His tone dropped to a dramatic whisper. ”And I mean everything.” He thrust out his hands. “Your father can live to see a bit of skin. It’s not like he has to see Old Man Ladner. Let me tell you. As men, our future is terrifying. The wrinkles. What your father must look like is-”
“My father is not an option,” Arthur growled. “I was being obtuse on purpose.”
“Oh, on purpose?” Merlin crossed his arms over his chest and raised a skeptical brow. “Is that going to be your excuse from now on?”
Dealing with the common folk was easy. Merlin was not common. He was a weird little wart ridden farm boy with a tongue just as dangerous as any reptile. It was a miracle the idiot had not yet been killed. A miracle more if he lasted the duration of this witch hunt.
“I don’t like this any more than you do.” Arthur rolled his eyes back and took a moment to breathe. There had to be some way to get through to him. “I understand this is…” He gestured vaguely at Merlin’s wardrobe and then at his chest. “Difficult for you.”
Merlin looked positively stricken at that.
Perhaps it was fair to say Arthur had never been very understanding with Merlin's preference to keep his clothes on. Surely Merlin knew it was in jest! Then again, it was Merlin and Merlin was a moron when it came to man things. He never had a father to teach him what good a bit of roughhousing could do. Arthur had Uther and the older knights for that.
Arthur lowered his arms and let the attitude drop. Merlin would understand one day, it would simply take a different approach. Arthur was patient.
“I don’t know why you don’t want anyone to see,” Arthur said steadily. “Whatever it is, know it will stay between us. I promise I’ll be quick.”
Well, there went the premise that Arthur would ever turn Merlin in for a Druid mark. Of course, Merlin would probably make a mistake that would force Arthur to banish him. Sneak him out to go back to his mother. But Arthur would never turn him in. Hopefully, Merlin did not realize how much truth Arthur just shared.
Merlin’s gaze fell to the floor. His eyes scanned the wood, as if they could reveal some sort of response. His jaw twitched. “Can you just....” His breathing quickened suddenly. He met Arthur’s eyes hopefully. He tried to throw in a sarcastic smirk but it missed the mark. “Can you not and say you did?”
Merlin's arms were crossing and he was shrinking himself again. It seemed so unlike him. He was usually loud and open and in the way far too much.
Arthur spun towards the door and clicked it shut. Now there was an entire empty room between them and the next living person. Just him and Merlin in a small safe space.
“No,” Arthur said, knowing Merlin knew his answer. Merlin would think it was the lying to his father. True. Lying was not honorable. Yet Arthur was willing to do it for Merlin anyway. Without the boy ever knowing. Honorable for a different reason. “I cannot not and say I did.”
Merlin swallowed thickly. He held himself in a hug and tucked himself into the corner. There was a slight tremble in his fingers. “Alright.”
Arthur nodded once sharply and took a step forward. “Alright.”
Merlin quickly held up a hand. “On one condition.”
Arthur was a patient man but Merlin really tested him. “There are no conditions. You do this or die, Merlin. That is it.”
Merlin’s hand quivered in the space between them. His last barrier.
They both knew Arthur could force him, one way or another. Dragging Merlin to the dungeons only to string him up and derobe him was the very last thing he wanted to be doing. If it saved the boy’s life though, he would not hesitate. Even if Merlin hated him for it.
Their eyes met.
Arthur tried to convey as much understanding, but promise, in his gaze.
Merlin could always read him. His eyes softened. His plea was quiet. “Ask no questions.”
There was no chance Arthur could keep that promise. Whatever this was, it was something Arthur needed to know about. Did he not? Merlin was his manservant. Clearly this was important. Arthur needed to know important things. Innocent questions asked over the next few months and deductive reasoning would get him the answers.
“Alright,” Arthur agreed.
“Alright?” Merlin asked again.
If it was personal though, Arthur supposed he could let his mind do the guessing. Either way, he could hold his questions. For now. It was not the most honest he could be, but it was all he could do.
Merlin held his breath.
“Alright,” Arthur agreed.
Merlin’s trembling hands reached for the bottom of his tunic. His fingers brushed the seams. His eyes flashed upwards.
Arthur nodded him on and turned away, affording him a momentary privacy that would be moot in a matter of seconds.
Another moment passed.
Merlin huffed. “I can’t do it.”
Arthur spun around. “Are you joking?”
Merlin shook his head mutley. His fingers still traced the edge of his clothing.
“Yes, you can,” Arthur said sternly. “Just take it off.”
Merlin’s throat bobbed. His fingers gripped and slipped from the fabric. “I can’t.”
Arthur ground his teeth. “Merlin-”
“I can’t!” Merlin protested, dropping his hands completely.
Arthur took a step forward and gestured purposefully at the tunic. “Take it off!”
Merlin wrapped his arms around his body in a self-hug and squeezed. “No!”
“Merlin-” Arthur took another step.
Merlin shoved his body back and slammed against the wall behind him. His lips trembled. His eyes glistened.
Arthur paused and leaned away. “Can you not?”
Merlin looked to the floor. His features glazed pink with shame. “No.”
It was not hard to remove a bit of cloth. Merlin helped him in and out of his clothes nearly every day. He knew how. A spot of toad chest was not worth this.
Arthur looked to the closed door and back again. “Would it help if I took mine off?”
Merlin smiled at that. “I’ve seen your bare chest plenty. It never made me want to disrobe before.”
“Then what?” Arthur threw out his hands helplessly.
“Can you…” Merlin trailed off. His face contorted in disgust. “Order me?”
Arthur raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I order you to disrobe.”
Merlin sucked in a sharp breath and latched his fingers onto his tunic, only to huff out all his air and glower at the ceiling. “Yup. That didn’t work.”
“Honestly, how do you get dressed in the morning?” Arthur asked.
Merlin’s voice creaked. “Without you!”
The shaking was still a problem but at least Merlin’s breathing had slowed down.
“Shall I leave and come back at your earliest convenience?” Arthur asked sarcastically.
“The convenience would be never,” Merlin muttered.
Arthur heaved in a breath to argue but ended up leaving the room in a puff. He waited a few moments before peeking his head back in.
Merlin had not moved.
“Why must you be so difficult?” Arthur asked.
“I’m not trying to be!”
This was not a situation Arthur was going to lose. It was a bit of fabric. Easily torn away. Whatever psychosis Merlin was going through would have to be snuffed quickly. If they took too long, someone would call for the prince and Merlin would be in trouble.
“You are not ripping my clothes off,” Merlin warned, as if he could read his mind. He clutched at his tunic desperately. Like a woman poised to faint. “I only have two good ones left. My last one could only be salvaged for this-” He tugged on the neckerchief around his neck.
Arthur quickly reached forward and yanked on the neckerchief. The tie was loose so it came off quite easily.
“What are you doing?!” Merlin yelped and crossed his arms over his chest. As if Arthur would literally rip off the rest.
Arthur folded the neckerchief over itself and reached for Merlin’s head. He tucked the fabric over Merlin’s giant ears and re-tied it in the back. “If you can’t see what’s happening, does that help?”
Merlin waited until Arthur was done and then prodded at the fabric covering his eyes. “Um. Maybe.” He reached out and jabbed Arthur’s shoulder with a finger. Harder than he needed to. “I still know you’re here.”
“I’ll just-” Arthur grabbed the bottom of Merlin’s tunic.
“Hey-” Merlin slapped his hand away. “I’m not you. I can do it myself.”
Arthur made the most obnoxiously disbelieving face he could muster. It was one way to test the blindfold. “No, apparently, you cannot.”
“I-” Merlin started and then realized he had no argument to make. “Fine.”
Slowly, Merlin’s arms fell from his body. They swung by his side with fists. His breathing picked up again. His jaw kept twitching.
Right. Arthur was going to make this quick.
Arthur grabbed the bottom of Merlin’s tunic with both hands and pulled the fabric up fast. Merlin’s arms were a bit of an obstacle but Arthur yanked harshly so they were forced to move up and away. He tossed the tunic to the bed and turned to Merlin.
Arthur froze.
“Oh my gods,” Arthur whispered aloud. “Who-”
Merlin’s mouth rolled. His arms crossed up to cover his bare chest. “You said you wouldn’t ask any questions.”
Every inch of Merlin’s chest was littered with scars.
The first and most obvious was a blotch of bubbling tissue clustered around his chest. Burn.
There were countless jagged lines varying in size and shape.
A sword had pierced his side at one point. A dagger his shoulder.
Deliberate marks swirled around his navel and beneath his trousers. Sharp and precise.
Arthur’s hand hovered and then landed on the burn in the middle of it all. His fingers were the ones quaking now as they traced the scars down Merlin's middle. It was uneven. Rough in some parts but smooth in others. Gooseflesh rose on parts untouched by violence but there was so little of it. His wrist bumped Merlin's crossed arms.
Arthur nudged Merlin’s side. He was reluctant to turn but eventually did, dropping his head against the wall and curling over his hands.
The back was the same. No marks of fire but the scars were everywhere.
One long and angry line looked black at the base of his neck.
Another crossed triple over his sensitive spine. Intentional and painful.
These were the marks of a warrior who walked through a Hell of fire and blades and agony. They were mixed. Old and new. They were everywhere.
Now that Arthur knew to look, he could see more. On his arms, curling and joining the cut Merlin received on his bicep. The only one Arthur knew the origin of. The ceiling collapse.
It was a miracle none touched his face.
“Trousers,” Arthur said. It was barely a whisper.
Merlin flicked his trousers down and shoved them to the side. “Why anyone would have a Druid mark placed on their arse is beyond me.”
The humour of it all fell flat.
The legs were spared more than his chest but they were still marred.
Arthur's thumb rubbed against what must have been a deep gash along Merlin's rib. His other hand lifted and palmed the dip in his shoulders.
Merlin’s breath left him in a shaky exhale.
Arthur stroked his palm over the lines of torture.
Merlin choked on a swallow.
Arthur used both hands to gently turn him around.
Merlin’s head dropped. His hands fell limp. He did not even try to hide his dignity.
There was no Druid mark. It was all marks.
Arthur’s hands slipped up to the burn at the center of it all.
Merlin curled down. His blindfold twitched.
Arthur stepped forward. It was as if he could feel the heat of the flames that burned him. A piercing sharp flash of fire that billowed beneath his hand.
There were so many questions he needed to ask.
Merlin's breath caught and a whine escaped. Hapless and excruciating.
Arthur slowly slipped his palms around Merlin's sides, dancing over the uneven surface. He tucked Merlin’s head onto his shoulder and grabbed him as tight as he could.
Merlin lost the hold on his tears. His hands gripped at Arthur’s tunic as his body trembled. His knees gave out but Arthur kept him upright. The handkerchief slipped down his face and he buried his eyes into Arthur’s neck.
“I’m sorry,” Arthur whispered.
For making him do this. For everything that happened to him. For assuming everything wrong. For needing to know. For everything.
Merlin's cry was deep and broken.
They clung to one another until Merlin’s body wracking sobs stopped.
Merlin breathed hot and wet against Arthur’s neck.
Arthur stared at the black line at the base of Merlin’s neck while his unruly hair tickled his cheek. His fingers circled endless lines. Trying to find the origins of stories he did not know.
They drifted in the silence.
Warmth rose between them, fighting back the chill of the truth. They breathed as one, without haste.
Arthur traced the bumps of Merlin’s spine.
Merlin shivered and curled his hand around Arthur’s back.
Rays of the setting sun poured through the small window and glistened against bare skin.
Time moved too quick.
A guard called from Gaius’ shop, voice carrying through the empty room, “Sire?”
Their refuge was undone.
They broke apart.
Arthur moved to the door in an instant and blocked it from opening, calling through the cracks, “Another minute!”
Merlin quickly shoved his clothes back on. He dabbed at his eyes with the handkerchief still wrapped in its folds.
Arthur opened his mouth without quite knowing what to say.
The golden rays of sun glinted along the tears running down Merlin's unmarked eyes.
Arthur closed his mouth again.
Merlin looked up. Eyes puffy and red rimmed. Tired.
Arthur nodded to the bed.
Merlin smiled. Small but genuine.
Arthur left.
The fool was a warrior. The warrior was a fool.
Ask no questions? An impossible task.
Deductive reasoning told Arthur he was going to break his promise. Soon. Starting with the simplest of questions.
Are you alright?