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"Please Don't Squish the Hokage"

Summary:

A weight dropped on top of Kakashi and he let out an indignant squawk, struggling to roll over as his hitai-ate fell down over his eyes. “Ow, Naruto—”

“Wait!” Naruto screeched. “Gai-sensei—"

Kakashi’s heart sank as Gai’s raucous laughter filled the air. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself.

A second body slammed down on top of Kakashi, and he let out a grunt as all the air was driven from his lungs. Pinned and completely blinded by his forehead protector, Kakashi felt his two assailants flail about. In the midst of the chaos, an elbow found Kakashi’s ribs, and he let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a groan. 

“Now, now, please don’t squish the Hokage.” Iruka’s voice sounded light, and Kakashi turned his head in the chunin Headmaster's direction, scrunching his nose. 

Notes:

Written for KakaIru-Fest’s “KakaIru Week 2020”! The prompt is "Kakashi’s birthday!"

This work has not been beta-read, so please be kind to me!

I hope you enjoy! 💖

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

It was twilight in Konoha, and the sky was filled with red, orange, and violet splashes of color cast from the distant, glowing horizon. 

From the Hokage office, Kakashi could not see the beauty of the sunset as he slogged his way through mission reports. 

Every part of Kakashi wanted to go back to his shared residence and get the day over with. He’d been working for hours now without reset, and still had hours more to go. 

 

Groaning slightly, Kakashi leaned back and stretched in his seat, joints cracking and popping as he moved. Jostled by the armrest on his seat, the white Hokage robe slipped off the side of the large desk and spilled to the floor in a soft swish of fabric. 

Kakashi was in the process of retrieving the garment when the double doors to his office creaked open. Moments later, Shikamaru’s chakra signature lit up his senses like a beacon. 

Straightening up, Kakashi offered the aide a lazy salute. “Yo.”

 

Shikamaru nodded in acknowledgement and folded his arms, the green uniform rustling slightly as he leaned against one of the spare desks in the office. 

“You’re still here?” Shikamaru’s eyebrows raised slightly, “go home, Kakashi-san, the mission reports can wait.” 

Kakashi huffed slightly. “It’s honestly not a big deal, besides if I don’t finish now, I won’t be able to get to the Academy forms tomor—”

“—Kakashi.” The aide gave him a deadpan look. “ I’ll do them, and I can pull someone from the mission desk later to help. We’re not expecting much traffic there anyway.” 

The exhausted part of Kakashi was already agreeing with the jounin, but he stood his ground nonetheless. 

“You’ve already been working overtime this past week, Shikamaru.”  

“With due respect, Hokage-sama, we all have—but you’ve been shouldering far more than any of the staff here, myself included.”

Kakashi tsked and let himself fall back into his chair. “How many times do I have to tell you, just call me Kakashi.” 

“Fine then, Kakashi -san, go get some rest. Shizune already has half a mind to get Iruka—.” 

Kakashi sat bolt upright, eyes wide, “she wouldn’t.”

Shikamaru raised his hands, “look, it’s all her, not me. Just thought I’d warn you not to overwork yourself again.” 

Scowling, Kakashi glared at the Nara aide for a moment before finally shaking his head in defeat.  

Shikamaru, much to Kakashi’s relief, did not bask in victory, but rather moved around the spare desk and grabbed the nearest stack of mission reports. Only when Kakashi moved past, on his way to the door, did the aide look up from the papers, smiling. 

“Have a good night, Kakashi-san.” 

 

 


 

 

Fatigue hit Kakashi in full force the moment he left the building, and each step seemed to bring him closer to keeling over out of sheer exhaustion; the feeling only grew as he finally hauled himself up the steps to his and Iruka’s apartment. 

After sleepily lowering the wards around the door, Kakashi let himself in, eyes already adjusting to the darkened interior. 

Iruka wasn’t home—but that was expected. The Academy Headmaster had board meetings until very late nearly every day. Kakashi estimated that the man wouldn’t be back for at least another hour or so. 

Roughly kicking off his shoes, Kakashi drifted over to the couch and let himself fall face-first onto the cushions. 

It didn’t matter that he was still in full uniform, that his feet were comically sticking in the air, or that the hitae-ate dug painfully into his forehead. He was just too tired. 

Kakashi let his eyes fall shut, and slowly his body began to relax for the first time all day. 

Fuck it , Kakashi thought blearlily, I’m taking a nap right here. Iruka will kill me later, but...

Whether he actually fell asleep or not, Kakashi never knew, because the next thing that he registered was a wall of pure noise. 

 

“KAKASHI-SENESEIII!”

 

A weight dropped on top of Kakashi and he let out an indignant squawk, struggling to roll over as his hitai-ate fell down over his eyes. 

“Naruto? How the hell did you get in here?” Kakashi wheezed, “what—”

He hissed slightly as something connected painfully with his shin, and tried to push the overenthusiastic jinchuriki off of him. “Ow, Naruto—”

 

Suddenly the apartment seemed to be full of life.

Wait!” Naruto screeched. “Gai-sensei—"

Kakashi’s heart sank as Gai’s raucous laughter filled the air. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself. 

 

A second body slammed down on top of Kakashi, and he let out a grunt as all the air was driven from his lungs. Pinned and completely blinded by his forehead protector, Kakashi felt his two assailants flail about. In the midst of the chaos, an elbow found Kakashi’s ribs, and he let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a groan. 

Other people were laughing, the sound of their mirth a strangely warm and welcoming sound to Kakashi’s ears. 

“Now, now, please don’t squish the Hokage.” Iruka’s voice sounded light, and Kakashi turned his head in the Headmaster’s direction, scrunching his nose. 

 

Pushing chakra into his arms and legs, Kakashi heaved himself over onto his side. This was followed by a series of loud thuds and the sound of Naruto loudly complaining.

Finally able to remove the hitai-ate, Kakashi half-glared at the small crowd of shinobi now occupying his living room; Naruto, Gai, Sakura, Hinata, Yamato, and Iruka all stared back at him, faces flushed slightly, smiling. 

Whatever frustration he’d been withholding evaporated the moment Kakashi saw the cake sitting on the low table, a small cluster of burning candles in its center. 

Naruto, still sitting on the floor beside the couch, folded his arms and grinned at Kakashi. “Couldn’t get enough candles for your age, old man.”

It was his birthday .

The thought dawned on Kakashi and he felt his jaw go slack beneath the mask. He'd been so busy with his Hokage duties that it had completely slipped his mind.  

Shikamaru, you bastard, Kakashi thought, you were in on this all along.

 

Iruka gently lifted the cake from the table and brought it closer to Kakashi, smiling at the utter shock reflected on the Rokudaime’s face. 

“Well, go on, sensei!” Sakura cheered from where she sat next to Hinata. 

The chunin Headmaster smiled as Kakashi blew out the candles. “Happy birthday, Kakashi.” 

 

The room filled with cheers. 




Notes:

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