Pacification

by Baird Crevan (Baird)

Summary:

Something goes terribly wrong during an interrogation and Starscream is left with the choice of either submitting to memory erasure or face termination. He decides to allow his memory to be wiped, and the war continues on without him, but not without repercussions. Starscream-centric. Some SkyStar and some eventual ShockStar and triney bits.

Notes:

Another plot bunny! Hope you enjoy <3 Love to hear your comments! :D

Chapter 1: Peace Be With You

It was quiet now.

Quiet was not something he expected in the Ark. The Nemesis was always loud with fights and terrible whispers in the dark. Parts of the ship had been relegated to disuse over time, and there was no limit to the nooks and crannies that it held; that it could hold.

Starscream missed it.

He was tired. Interrogations were always tiresome. They had been playing this game for millions of years at this point, and occasionally one of them got caught by the opposing side, roughed them up for information and then let them go. Starscream supposed he was one of the higher-ranking officers to get captured in a long time, but it was not his first time by any means. Maybe it was the first time on Earth.

They had dosed him with something. He felt it like a blanket on his logic processor, trying to make him more suggestible. They needn’t have bothered; he had always been a suggestible mech, even without pharmacological aide. That didn’t mean he would give info up easily; no, it just meant he was open to whatever they had to offer.

This time, there were no offers. Which was odd.

Like no, “if you tell us where Megatron is we will let you go,” or “give us some intel on Cybertron,” or “what are you plotting, you disgusting bot fragging son of a Cessna?” No, he didn’t get any questions yet. Just waiting.

Primus he was bored. There were no other captives right now for him to make fun of, and no audience meant no showboating. Just him and… Jazz.

Jazz. That fragging “spymaster.” Walking in with a flash of smile and just sitting there, watching him. Saying nothing, asking nothing, providing nothing. Just a smile and a watchful gaze.

Clearly, he was trying a new tactic. Hoping Starscream would crack under the pressure. Start talking and just give everything away. Mech was so fragging stupid. 

Had they increased the temperature? Frag it was hot. His fans were whirring near maximum, and the heat made his processor lag. He felt sick.

He put his helm on the table, trying to cool his cheekplate.

Slag, he felt drunk.

Oh wait.

“Why am I drunk,” he said into the side of the table.

“We’re celebrating, Starscream. We won the battle and we got you. Congrats.”

Starscream huffed his vents and turned his red optics to train on Jazz. “Would think that there’d be more confetti,” he said irritably.

“It’s on backorder. Confetti that would be appropriately sized for Cybertronians is hard to come by. The small human stuff gets clogged in our vents. Trust me, I’d know.”

Starscream huffed his vents. “This is a strange interrogation,” Starscream said offlining his optics, feeling a swash of heat rip over his processor. He felt awfully lightheaded.

“Who says we’re interrogating you?”

Starscream onlined his optics to see Jazz smiling with a tilt of his head. Starscream slowly pulled back, lifting his helm off the table, but holding his servo up to his helm. He was wincing, and his mouthplate was in a deep frown.

Starscream sighed. “I’m bored with this already, you’ve kept me longer than usual. What are you after, this time?”

Jazz said nothing.

Starscream tilted his helm to meet the saboteur’s optics behind the visor. Jazz was just watching and smiling.

Dimly something registered in his processor that this was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong- but Primus he felt lightheaded. Untethered. Undone.

“How are you feeling?”

That question was dangerous. Always had been for him. He felt loss, betrayal, sparkbreak, but also just annoyance and irritation at almost everything. He felt disappointed when Megatron hit him, and sadder still when his schemes failed to materialize-

Oh. He had meant physically. Of course.

Starscream held up his other servo to his helm, grimacing. “This idiocy is giving me a helmache.” With a small spurt of fear, he realized he was not in stasis cuffs. He was not bound at all. He could stand up and do whatever he wanted, even attack-

“Oh, Primus,” he said as his helm erupted in fiery-hot pain.

“Hmm, some pain? Dizziness? Nausea?”

Starscream stared at the Autobot for a moment. He looked to his servos, looked to the room, looked to the Autobot again. Fear started to creep around his spark.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

“What did you do to me?” he whispered.

Jazz smiled. “How are you sure we did do something?”

“Because I feel…” he stopped. He couldn’t form the words.

“You feel what?” Jazz asked, barely concealing his excitement.

Starscream blinked and stood from the chair, backing away. “What did you DO?”

“Don’t be frightened, this is only temporary. We’re testing to see if it works,” Jazz said standing.

Starscream backed up until he hit the wall behind him. He sank to the floor and folded his arms across himself. Tears sprung to his optics. He couldn’t help it.

“I… I don’t understand.”

“It will fade, don’t worry. We just needed to see if it worked on a Decepticon. But before that, let’s test it, shall we?”

Starscream turned his helm to stare at the saboteur. Jazz came to him, bent over and lifted a servo under his chin. Then Jazz kissed him. It was platonic, and less than a peck, but it was still shocking.

Starscream’s eyes burst wide but felt himself do nothing to stop him.

“Oh it definitely appears to be working. Let’s try hitting you.” He slapped him across the faceplate. More tears were now flowing, and even a little energon dripped out of his now split lip, but still Starscream did nothing. “Sorry about that,” Jazz said, wiping the energon from the seeker’s lip. “We’ll get that fixed for ya.”

“What did you do to me?” he asked again, whispering.

Jazz finally relented, his optics softening. “Pacification. We found a way to remove violence from you.”

Starscream sat dumbly on the ground, letting the words “pacification” sting in his audios. He’d heard the word before, used in this context. He felt a deep-seated dread coil in his tanks.

“How long does it last?” he breathed out.

Jazz was seated on the ground next to him now, rapidly typing away at a datapad. He looked up and saw the pain in the seeker’s optics, and it looked like he had just a tiny crack in his resolve. He swallowed and shook of the feeling, his perfect mask of affability back on. “It should last about a cycle in total from the dose we gave you,” he said. “Tell me, what does it feel like?”

Starscream stared at the mech and frowned. “This is a new low, Autobot.”

Jazz nodded. “It is a little extreme for our usual methods,” then he tilted his helm. “But this is not anything the Decepticons wouldn’t do, hmm? Shockwave’s experiments? The reprogramming of the Constructicons against their will? Nothing beyond the precedent you all have already set.”

“So you aren’t any better than the Decepticons, then. Glad that’s been established,” Starscream said hatefully, his vocalizer pained.

“The faster you tell me what I need to know, the less likely I’ll have to give you another dose.”

Starscream offlined his optics and sighed. “It feels… like you opened my processor, got overenergized, and purged all over it.”

Jazz pursed his lips. “Hmm. Vivid. How about your desire to hurt me?”

Starscream sighed, leaning his helm against the wall again, looking levelly at the Autobot. “Nonexistent.”

“Do you feel like you could fight me if your life depended on it?”

Starscream hesitated and felt more cleaning fluid well in his optics. “N-no,” he said his faceplate twisting.

“Hmm,” Jazz hummed. “No capacity for self-preservation?” He leaned forward, his field brushing up against Starscream’s. In it, he only found fear and anger, but not an ounce of murderous intent. 

“Any helmaches?”

Starscream nodded.

“Dizziness? Nausea? High-temperature?”

Starscream looked at him. “Yes,” he said simply. 

“How do you feel about Megatron?”

Starscream deigned not to answer but felt it in his spark. He no longer wanted to kill him. That... was disturbing. “How long did you say this lasted?”

Jazz checked his chronometer. “Ah, should be wearing off shortly.” He pulled out some stasis cuffs, and gently clicked them onto the seeker’s delicate wrists. “Thank you for your participation.”

Starscream narrowed his optics. “You didn’t give me a choice slagger,” he said angrily. “When I get back, I’m going to make sure we cook up something… something…” He trailed off, his optics becoming unfocused. His glossa swelled in his mouth, or at least it felt like it. 

Jazz looked at him and stood. “Interesting. Works even with threats or thoughts of violence.”

Starscream suddenly looked very, very frightened. “Where… where did you get this formula? This drug?”

Jazz waved a finger at the seeker on the ground. “Ah-ah-ah, Starscream. Trade secret.”

“No, please, Jazz? Please. I’m begging you.”

Jazz frowned and was unnerved by the sincerity. “Why?”

“It’s not… it’s not wearing off.”

Jazz’s frown deepened.

 

Chapter 2: Quiet Bird

Notes:

Small warning: referenced self-harm for this chapter.

Jazz and Prowl were speaking in quickly whispered tones in the hallway. Skyfire was helping to move some equipment for Wheeljack when he passed by the pair. It had just happened that he heard the words “tacere-avem” and “seeker” and he dropped his equipment, its components breaking and pieces of it rolling across the ground.

He slowly turned around to see the pair looking at him with more than a little surprise. “Tell me I didn’t just hear you say that.”

“Say what?” Jazz said, defensively. Prowl put a servo on his shoulder.

“What do you know about it?” Prowl asked levelly.

Skyfire felt a rage bloom inside him as neither of them denied it. “Is… is there a seeker in there?” he asked, his frame trembling. “Did you drug him with… tacere-avem?!”

Both of the mechs pulled back at his change in demeanor. He didn’t blame them. He was usually so mild-mannered. They also didn’t deny anything. “Open the door.”

“Now wait just a minute-” Jazz said, angrily shaking his finger at the shuttle.

“OPEN IT!”

Prowl moved in front of Jazz to open the door. He pushed it open and stood to the side, watching Skyfire very carefully. The shuttle ducked to enter the room, and then felt his shoulders sag.

Of course it was him.

The seeker’s frightened optics flashed in recognition. Skyfire felt his faceplate turn grim as he walked over to Starscream and knelt beside him. “Are you… alright?” he said, noticing the split lip and the tear streaks on his faceplate.

Starscream’s optics were wide now. “No,” he whispered. “What the frag do you want?”

Skyfire sighed. “Did they tell you what they gave you?”

Starscream’s optics closed. “N-no…”

“They used tacere-avem,” Skyfire said. But as soon as Skyfire had named the drug, Starscream lost it.

“No, no, NO, NO-“ he started to shout as he covered up his audios, as awkward as it was with cuffed wrists. Skyfire grimaced and then pulled the seeker into a crushing hug. The seeker should be thrashing, should be hitting him, but nothing happened. He was still yelling, but his cries were becoming quieter and more plaintive. 

Eventually he pulled away and commed Ratchet. The medic was confused by the immediacy of the request from him of all mechs, but Skyfire just repeated the request saying that more details would be forthcoming. He bent down and scooped up Starscream, still so small in his arms even after all this time. The seeker did not resist, just stilled with listless optics.

Prowl and Jazz followed the shuttle and their prisoner, giving each other strange looks as they walked together to the med bay. When they arrived, Skyfire gently deposited Starscream on a berth. The seeker’s optics watched him as they gradually became more unfocused and lost.

He turned on the enforcer and the spymaster. Ratchet had also appeared but was watching the proceedings warily.

“Where did you even find tacere-avem?” Skyfire started, his voice a deep rumble. Ratchet’s optics immediately widened and then looked to the seeker and he deflated. He walked over to him and began pulling out medical equipment and scanners to do a full sweep.

Jazz folded his arms across his chassis. Prowl however flicked his optics to the various mechs around the room, calculating his next response. “We found reference to a pacification program in Teletraan-1 and we attempted to recreate the formula.”

“Did you not,” Skyfire began, squeezing his servo into a fist, “notice that it had been ruled illegal by every known authority since its conception?”

Jazz took a step towards Skyfire. “It had been declassified and used in clinical trials to help with PTSD,” Jazz said angrily. “I tested it on myself before I was going to use it on anyone else. I was fine after a few cycles.”

Skyfire turned his optics to the ceiling. “It was ruled illegal because of how it affects flightframes, Jazz. It’s permanent.”

Jazz looked like he had been stricken and took a step back. “What? No… it’s not permanent. It wears off.”

Prowl’s face paled.

“It was initially developed as an option to quell unruly flightframes. It takes away all desire and capacity for violence. Permanently. It doesn’t effect other frame-types the same way,” he said, finishing quietly.

Prowl waited a few kliks. “None of that was in the report about it.”

“No, I suppose not. It was likely scrubbed of that information when Vos fell.”

Jazz looked despondent. “We honestly… didn’t know.”

“I’ll be sure to pass that on to Unicron when I offline,” Starscream ground out from the berth.

Skyfire turned and looked at him. “You’re not going to offline-“

“What do you think is going to happen to me the second Megatron finds out not only did I get captured but now I’m broken?!” he said, his voice rising in crescendo to a shriek. “I am worthless now!”

“It can’t be permanent,” Jazz repeated, still in denial. “Processor reboot or even a rebuild could fix it.”

“Ah, no,” Ratchet said, shaking his helm. “This stuff is… nasty in how in integrates. His violent tendencies aren’t suppressed, they are just… gone.”

“Then we can put them back,” Prowl said. “Like a battle computer?”

“You don’t get it,” Skyfire said, still barely suppressing his rage. “This is permanent. Plenty of smarter researchers before us have tried and failed to fix this.”

Prowl looked like he was still calculating something. “Why have we never met a flightframe that was permanently pacified, then?”

Skyfire sighed. “They all died. They can’t protect themselves, Prowl. They can’t fight back under any circumstances. They were glorified slaves during the darker times of the Golden Age.”

Starscream moaned pathetically. “You idiots have killed me! And not even on purpose.” Jazz looked at the seeker with an expression between remorse and surprise. Prowl was looking at the floor, still trying to calculate.

Ratchet pulled back some of his scans with a tight look on his faceplate. He glanced sideways at the seeker who met his optics and saw the look. He crumpled further into his berth, now silent.

“I’ll go… alert Prime,” he said.

Optimus Prime sat at his desk staring at the datapads in front of him, describing the incident, and no less than 15 ways to deal with the situation from Prowl. There were also formal resignations from both Prowl and Jazz on his desk, both of which he knew had no intention of accepting, but at least it meant they understood the gravity of what had transpired.

Starscream sat across the desk from him and had not made a single sound since Ratchet and Skyfire had escorted him in and set him down. Skyfire was likely still keeping guard at the door. 

Prime sighed. “A great injustice has been done to you,” he said. 

“Is that what we’re calling this.”

Prime shifted in his seat. Of all the mechs for this to happen to, Starscream was going to make it the most uncomfortable.

“I believe the next steps are deciding what you want to do. Your safety would be our top priority-“

“That’s rich.”

“-and if that means you would stay here, we could arrange that.”

Starscream actually seemed shocked into silence for a moment. Then he sneered. “You would… ‘keep’ me here? What, like some kind of guilty conscience trophy? Forever to walk the halls moaning about the injustice of your officers?”

“I believe what has been done to you requires that we accept responsibility. What that looks like can be up to you.”

Starscream pulled back at that, somewhat surprised. “… and all of your soldiers are okay with this?”

Optimus hesitated, and he knew Starscream had noticed. The seeker was shaking his helm, even as Optimus tried to answer the question. “The Autobots would honor-“

“You don’t even believe it; how do you expect me to?”

The Prime sighed. “Then your other option is we return you to the Decepticons.”

Starscream froze and his optics widened slightly. If fear could be a palpable, tangible thing, Starscream was grasping it and shoving it in the Prime’s faceplate.

“They’ll kill me,” he said, quietly.

Prime was discomfited again. “They wouldn’t-“

“Megatron will.”

Optimus frowned beneath his faceplate. “Megatron would not kill one of his own wounded soldiers. Why would he have a medic if he did?”

Starscream smiled bitterly. “You know him so well, do you?” Starscream’s face darkened. “He only allows repairs to mechs that are worth repairing, Prime. As in soldiers that can fight another day. What will I be except a berthwarmer or shareware?”

If Starscream wanted Prime unnerved, he had achieved it. “Starscream-“

“That’s what this program was designed for anyway,” he said, his voice tremulous. “I’m surprised that you haven’t already brought it up for your own pleasure. Who wouldn’t want a helpless seeker to share their berth?”

Optimus exvented. He realized that his comments were not only Starscream attempts to get under the Prime’s plating, but also allowing his own anxieties being voiced. Starscream was terrified and apparently none of the options he had been presented instilled him with any measure of peace. 

“What do you want then, Starscream?”

The seeker shivered. “I want my processor back.”

“Would that I could give that to you,” Optimus said sadly. “Ratchet tells me the program has run its course. It is permanent. You should know though that the program has been stricken from our records and the formation of it has been erased from Prowl’s and Jazz’s memories. They will also be facing disciplinary action.”

“So they get a slap on the servo, and you take my entire life away. Fair trade, Prime. Thank you for that.”

Optimus realized that the seeker wanted him to get angry. To what end, he wasn’t sure yet.

“I have to tell Megatron about what has occurred. I would like to know what you want to do before I do that.”

Starscream’s wings were practically vibrating in fear. For the first time, he turned his optics away from the Prime’s as if contemplating something. Then the seeker leaned forward in the chair, putting his elbows on his knees, calming himself.

“I would like to be returned to the Decepticons.”

Prime was a little surprised. “Are you sure? I’m sure Skyfire would protect you if you stayed here-“

“Skyfire doesn’t get a say in my well-being,” Starscream said distantly. “I am certain.”

Optimus nodded. “I will contact Megatron then.”

“Sick of him already then,” Megatron said on the communication screen.

Optimus sighed. “Is this line secure?”

Megatron’s optic-ridges furrowed. “Unlike you Autobots, our lines are only monitored by Soundwave-“

“Fine, fine,” Prime interrupted, much to the surprise of the Decepticon warlord.

Megatron looked amused then. “It seems you have something to say to me, Prime. Something you are reluctant to talk about.”

Optimus fixed his blue optics on Megatron. “During our interrogation of Starscream, an accident occurred.”

Megatron almost started laughing. “Wringing your servos over it like a nursemaid, Primus! Starscream is nothing but resilient, unfortunately-“

“This particular tactic was done without my knowledge or approval, but of course we accept full responsibility.”

Megatron’s mirth slowly evaporated. “Get to the point.”

“He was dosed with tacere-avem. It’s permanent.”

Megatron at first didn’t react. But then his faceplate started to fall into confusion, rage, confusion again, denial, and then it was carefully, neutrally blank. “You… pacified him.”

“Yes.”

Megatron frowned deeply. “This…” he started. “This is a fate worse than death. You would have been kinder if you had just killed him.”

Optimus struggled with this next part. “We offered him refuge here, but he is requesting to be returned to you.”

Megatron just stared, but then a small flicker of recognition came across his faceplate. “And you would just return him, with no trade?”

“I wouldn’t ask anything of you, no.”

Megatron looked forward and then nodded. “I would speak to him.”

Optimus nodded, flicking his servo at the door to the communications relay where Ironhide escorted Starscream into the room. 

Starscream wanly looked at the monitor, seeing Megatron’s faceplate. Optimus nodded and vacated the seat, leaving the room with Ironhide.

“Fine mess you got yourself into,” Megatron said exasperatedly. His optics were jumping as if searching for something in the seeker’s sculpted face but saw nothing.

Starscream was tired. He flicked his optics down to the floor with his wings sagging. “Yes, and I just want out of it.”

Megatron sighed. “That’s why you want to come back? You want me to kill you?”

Starscream shivered. “Is there another option?”

Megatron glowered. “If that is what you want then don’t be a coward, do it yourself-“

“I CAN’T,” Starscream shouted, hoarse. “I literally… can’t.”

Megatron watched him through the monitor. Starscream likely made a pathetic sight. He’d been repaired after the battle as he was unconscious when they had dragged him back to the Ark, but he still had paint missing. He felt wretched. His helm and processor ached from the recent changes that had been made to his very core, and it likely showed on his faceplate. He also had lost something part of him; the fire, the feeling of being in control and unstoppable.

Megatron sighed. “I will give you two options, should you still decide to return to the Decepticon ranks. You are right to fear me, Starscream. I have no use for a soldier who cannot fight, any more than I can for a weapon that cannot shoot.” Starscream shivered. “And despite your other possible assets, there would be no point as you cannot defend yourself and you hold too much knowledge. You are an ambling liability.” Starscream bit back a whimper.

“I will allow you a choice. You can return to the Decepticons, but you must submit to a memory erasure. Completely. Your other choice is termination.”

Starscream stared at Megatron’s optics weighing his options. “I would be no better than a blank sparkling.”

“Yes. But you would have no knowledge that would be worth torturing you for. Pacification also means you cannot prevent someone from accessing your mind or even your spark. It is the definition of vulnerable, Starscream. It will not be an easy existence, but you also would not know any differently.”

Starscream frowned, confused. “You would… care for me? I mean. Primus, I don’t know what I’m asking,” he said pulling his servos over his face. 

Megatron’s face was inscrutable as ever. “There are few noble reasons for this war anymore, but one of them was slag like this. They don’t get to take away a mech’s ability to fight just because it doesn’t suit them. You would be protected. You and I might have a tempestuous relationship, but you are also my soldier.”

Starscream nodded, his face twisting as he felt his optics prick with hot tears. “That might be the closest you ever got to saying you liked me,” he said laughing sadly.

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Megatron said, the ghost of a smile approaching the corner of his lips. “We will prepare for your retrieval.”

“… affirmative.”

The line cut out and Starscream stared at the dark screen. He would be alive, and he would be protected. He would just lose everything. 

He had already lost everything.

 

Notes:

tacere-avem: Latin-ish for quiet bird.

I feel like other languages have the word for where this story is going, but English is woefully without a word for the feeling: sad and happy at the same time? Bittersweet is kind of it, but not really.

Chapter 3: Two Berths

Eventually Optimus Prime and Ironhide came back in to collect him.  He explained that he would still be returning to the Decepticons, as if they didn’t already know. They still seemed disappointed somehow but had nodded and escorted him back to the brig.

He sat down in the cell and stared at the wall, finally alone with his thoughts.

The past day had been grossly unfair.  It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this could have happened to anyone, but it just so happened to happen to him.  He hadn’t been captured in eons, what had made this time any worse?  He could blame Megatron, as easy as that was, but they had actually been on relatively good terms lately.  Just a few friendly assassination attempts between old friends.  Nothing major.

It had been the Lamborghini twins who had officially grounded him, he remembered.  Can’t really blame them either, they had actually been good this past battle, he thought begrudgingly.  Can’t really blame his own people either: Skywarp and Thundercracker had obeyed his orders to retreat, and they hadn’t realized he was in danger.  Everyone had done their part; he had just been unlucky.

He supposed some anger could be reserved for Jazz and Prowl for cooking up this scheme in the first place.  But even that felt forced.  They had tested it on themselves and did not understand the historic implications of the drug.

He wrinkled his noseplate.  He knew that pacification was a program that removed the desire for violence and the ability to do so, but there had been rumors that it also made you just generally more agreeable.  He supposed it wasn’t enough that he lacked the ability to defend himself, he had also be happy about it.  Starscream felt that he should be rancorously angry, but in place of that emotion was just huffy annoyance.  That can’t be right. 

Maybe forgetting what he used to be wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

He suddenly didn’t want to be alone.

“I would make one request of you,” he said to the empty brig, but knew that there was a camera observing him intently.  “Can you let me talk to Skyfire one more time?”

The shuttle was quickly produced.

“Starscream.  I am… sorry,” he said slowly.  Skyfire sat on a chair just outside the bars, looking carefully at the seeker.

Starscream nodded.  “Yes.  It is unfortunate what your friends did to me.”

Skyfire frowned.  “I know you are hurting, but I had hoped-“

“I… I’m sorry.” Starscream said.  “For shooting you.  At least twice.”  He waited for Skyfire to say something in return, but the shuttle had just closed up his mouth.  Starscream sighed.  “I… don’t even have time to tell you what a fragging piece of slag you are,” he said laughing bitterly.  “My memory will be erased when I arrive back at the Decepticons. I won’t remember you.”

Skyfire looked bereft.  “Wait. Wait, what? No.”

Starscream watched the shuttle, almost feeling touched.  He looked genuinely surprised.  Apparently the Autobots had not seen fit to tell him.  Just as well, he supposed.  “It makes sense.  I can’t be forced to divulge information if I don’t know anything.  I’m somewhat surprised your Autobots haven’t already tried to get something off me now.  Must be their idiotic sense of honor holding them back.”

Skyfire stood and started pacing around the room.

“We could… run away.”

Starscream furrowed his brow.  “What?”

“We could.  We could just leave, find a planet somewhere.  Exile.  Leave this slagging war behind us.”

Starscream was amused.  “How would we refuel?”

“Oh, we could build energon converters!  It’d be just the two of us, and it’d take a while, but we could do it.  Trade with some alien races or something.”

“And what about our shelter?” Starscream said, tilting his helm back against the wall, allowing the fantasy to play out in his mind. 

Skyfire nodded.  “We’d build a tower.  Something tall and big enough to land on, like the eyries of Vos.  Something ridiculously fancy and shiny, just how you like it.”

Starscream smirked and offlined his optics.  “And what would we do all day?”  He realized again that he was being agreeable instead of yelling at Skyfire like he thought he wanted to. Was this from the tacere-avem? Or was it more because of the clock clicking down on the life as he knew it?

“There would be so much to do! Studying the local flora and fauna or we could be inventing ways to make our homestead better.  We could add on to the tower, make it more like a mansion or a palace.  We could invent new energy sources. And… well, get to know each other.  Again.”

Starscream’s smirk broadened as he looked at the shuttle again.  Skyfire’s face was lit up with hope and maybe a touch of desire.  “You’ve clearly thought about this a lot.”  He saw the characteristic blush that he would get when he was being remotely romantic.  “Two berths or one?” Starscream said, his ruby optics dancing in the dim lighting of the brig.

“Two,” Skyfire said, smirking.  “One for us and one for the sparkling.”

Starscream felt his smile pinch and then his mood shifted immediately.  His wings sagged and he turned away from Skyfire. 

“I wish we could.  But someone would find us.  Find me,” he said after some time.  “Megatron is right, I have a lot of knowledge that would be… damaging.  At least with memory erasure, I won’t know what I’m forgetting about,” he said lowly.  “I’m sorry you will still remember.”

Skyfire stared at him, deciding something.  Then he quickly looked up at the camera in the brig and walked over to it, reaching up and crushing it in his servo.

“What are you doing?” Starscream said, confused.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” the shuttle said quickly. 

---

Skyfire stepped back and smiled one more time as the door to the brig was busted open by Ironhide and Red Alert who were both angrily yelling at him for destroying the camera.  Skyfire just kept smiling and nodding when they told him he would need to be court marshaled and gave a final wave to Starscream who waved back, biting back a smirk himself at the stupid shuttle.  Ironhide pulled him out of the room, angrily yelling curses about how big and foolish the shuttle was.

Red Alert looked back at the seeker, demanding answers as to what happened.  Starscream shrugged.  “I don’t kiss and tell,” he said with a waggle of his optic-ridge.  The Security Specialist seemed to go into anaphylactic shock, sputtering with surprise and blushing.  Starscream thought that might be the end of that conversation.

Already he could feel the last few minutes of time was receding from his mind.  Whatever had just occurred, he didn’t quite remember, but he was left with a feeling of trust and maybe a twinge of hope.

Eventually they all left him alone with his thoughts.  Things were still grim, but there was a little bit of that fire back in his spark.

---

The exchange went over quickly.  Despite his behavior just a few cycles before, they had to use Skyfire to help ferry them all to the predetermined site where Starscream would be handed back over to Decepticon care.  Starscream smirked at the shuttle despite the situation and could almost feel Skyfire smirk back.

They had not cuffed him because there was no point.  He merely sighed and walked back over to the Decepticons waiting for him, being Megatron, Soundwave and his trine.  Skywarp and Thundercracker looked beyond incensed and twitched with the desire to fire on the Autobots but held still after a glare from Megatron.

The gunformer gave Starscream an appraising look from head to toe and then gruffly told them to take to the skies. 

Starscream felt the itch to flee.  He could fly off, and attempt to outrun them.  But he also knew that he would then be alone and without anyone to help him.  Megatron had been right.  Even an organic fleshling was more equipped than he was, and despite hating the thought that he would lose his memories, he also knew that surviving was better. 

They returned back to the base without comment.

He had expected jeers, taunts, and other unsavory quips, but his walk to the repair bay was like a parade of the damned.  He saw much of the Decepticon army as he was escorted, mechs he had fought with and against all these years.  Their faceplates were arranged in a strange kind of mute respect or maybe it was pity?  Starscream wasn’t sure.  At this point all he felt was numbness.

When they reached the repair bay, Starscream paused at the threshold and looked to Megatron.  “Do… we have to do this now?” he asked quietly and without meeting Megatron’s optics.

He could feel Megatron’s gaze on him.  “Yes.  We will do this now.”  He opened the door to the repair bay and lightly pushed Starscream inside.

 Hook and the other Constructicons immediately swarmed him, subjecting him to various tests and questions as they guided him to the berth.  Starscream normally would have physically attacked them for how close they were to him, and how they were not respecting his usual bubble of personal space, but of course he could not do this now.  He merely felt annoyed and exhausted.

They asked him a lot of questions about the interrogation itself with Jazz; what he had felt and when.  He described it in detail and without embellishment, which he knew was odd for him.  But he also felt like there wasn’t much point anymore.  They explained they needed to know what to look for in the future and he aided them as best he could.  Hanging in the back of the repair bay listening to his tale was Megatron, Soundwave, and his trine, watching mutely.  He also noticed a few other helms poking around the corner of the door, looking into the room.

“I highly doubt it was an accident,” Scrapper said as he pulled out another scanner.  They were treating him with such concern and gentleness, he had a moment of confusion.  Did he actually come back to the right faction?

“They seemed genuinely surprised that it was permanent, as they had tested it out on themselves first, or so they said.  Something about how it had been altered in their computer and the references to its effect on flightframes was removed,” Starscream recalled, looking at the scanners as they showed no difference in his usual biometrics.  He was the same, just… declawed.

“When did you know something was wrong?” Hook asked, looking over a scan of his processor on the screen.  Starscream felt a little exposed with the map of his processor on the screen for everyone to see but didn’t comment on it.

“I had heard of the program before,” he said.  “And that the idea that it wasn’t just physical but mental as well.  He, uhm, got very physically close to me and I couldn’t move to stop him.”

That seemed to spur his trine up out of their seats.  “What did he do?” Thundercracker said defensively. 

“We will absolutely destroy them,” Skywarp said, with heat blooms coming off his null-rays as he let his temper flare.

Not for the first time since he had discovered his condition, he felt touched.  He had been wounded before, severely damaged, but never before had he seen such a desire to avenge him as he did now.  He felt his optics soften.  “It was merely a peck on the lips and a slap to the faceplate.  Nothing more.”

“But you can’t get revenge back on him now.  Or… you don’t even want to,” Skywarp said sullenly.  “That’s on a new level of disgusting,” he said.

Thundercracker looked to Megatron as he added, “It’s one thing to take a hit at us, it’s another knowing that the mech can’t return the favor later.”

Starscream’s optics glanced to Megatron who was glaring off into nothing, while Soundwave watched him carefully.  Everyone was behaving oddly today.

The Constructicons finished their final scans.  “We will be monitoring you through and after your procedure,” Scrapper said. 

Starscream nodded once indicating he understood.  They vacated the room and closed the doors behind them.  Thundercracker and Skywarp walked up to him and it seemed they could not stop themselves from giving him a hug.  “You will always be trine,” Skywarp said.  “Even if you can’t fight with us nomore.”

Thundercracker nodded.  “We will make sure you are safe.  All the seekers will.  This was an affront to all of us.”

Starscream felt himself taken with emotions he didn’t realize he had.  It was with some bitterness that he realized he had now the respect and admiration he had always wanted, but he was destined to lose it all.

“Thank you,” was about all he could muster as he hugged his trine back.  Reluctantly, they removed themselves and left him with Soundwave and Megatron.

Starscream felt his anxiety ratchet up a few levels but tried to force himself to relax as they approached him.  Still, he felt bold enough to try.  “Are you sure this is the only way?” Starscream asked plaintively.  “It appears I actually have a lot to lose, I just didn’t realize it,” he said tilting his helm back against the berth.

Megatron looked at him and sighed.  “It would be for your own safety,” he said.  “The Autobots are not the only ones who would attempt to do you harm for the knowledge you possess.  Even the humans would not be above hurting you, and you would be powerless to stop them.”  Then he allowed a small smile to creep into the corner of his lips.  “It will certainly be quieter around here.”

Starscream stifled a chuckle.  “I’ll still find ways to annoy you.”

“I’ll see you on the other side, Starscream,” Megatron said, giving a signal to the Constructicons that it was time to start.

Starscream felt a tug on his mind as Soundwave knocked gently with his telepathy.  His field was strongly sending calming emotions as Starscream started to panic.  “Will this hurt?” he asked quietly.

“Affirmative,” Soundwave replied.  “However, we will attempt to block pain receptors for you.  It will be unpleasant, but not terrible.”

Starscream exvented, feeling terrified.  But then he started to feel drowsy.  He looked at Soundwave who nodded, and Starscream surrendered to the emotions that Soundwave imposed upon him.

He felt them insert the cortical patch into the back of his helm, his limbs feeling heavy.  Soundwave was likely enforcing this sedate mood on him, he thought.  He had not realized the telepath had this ability.  Eventually the Constructions gave him additional sedative that did not fully put him out but did relax him further. 

It was good that he was relaxed for this.  Usually a cortical connection of this kind was done under very strict rules and parameters, where encryptions and passwords and firewalls prevented any unauthorized access.  Starscream realized that he had none of these protections anymore.  Someone could just walk up and view or alter his memories as they saw fit.  He worried distantly about anti-virals and his ability to fight off hacking attempts.  Likely with the same ineffectuality.

He felt the process begin, starting with his most recent memories.  They unspooled in his mind, spinning out like an unseated hard drive.  He watched them as they whited-out batches of memories, and entire battles and events were erased from his mind.  There was a monitor nearby where they spot-checked every once in a while, knowing how far they had gone back.  Eventually entire mechs disappeared from his mind.

That was when things started to hurt.

He hissed as everything from Earth had disappeared into blankness, and then they started to pick through the war.  These memories were older and more heavily carved into his databanks, so they required more effort to scrub them from his mind.  The early war had a lot of formative pieces to it, and it was dragged out of his processor with more than a little pain.  He distantly thought that this process was happening faster than he had expected, but then he realized he didn’t understand what was happening and why this was occurring in the first place.

He actually whimpered when Megatron was completely erased from his mind.

Then there was his trine, their antics, their faces.  It was ripped out of him and he felt his breathing come out in ragged, terrible gasps.

He wanted to ask them to stop, but he didn’t remember who they were anymore or what they were doing.  He didn’t know where he was or why they were hurting him, just that he was in pain.

“Just a little more,” said one of the mechs, patting his servo.  That was oddly comforting, but he didn’t know why.

Then there was Skyfire and losing him in the ice.  That memory was blessedly let go, but then there were others of him at the academy and meeting Skyfire for the first time.  Now his optics started to overflow with cleaning fluid.

Then there was not much left.

Then there was nothing.

 

Notes:

God I'm sorry, this does get happier (I feel like it anyway) YIKES

Chapter 4: Afraid I Wouldn't Know

“Easy there, don’t push it.  There’s no rush,” came a voice. 

He felt himself sit up, and wince as his helm was ringing with pain.  He slowly opened his optics and saw a bunch of things pop up on his HUD, mostly tutorials and explanations of what all the various gauges and indicators meant.

“Wow,” he said.  “There’s uh, a lot of things on here.”

The voice beside him chuckled.  “Do you know how to dismiss them?” he asked. 

“No, I do not.  Do you?”

“Yes,” said the voice, with some amusement. “You move your optics to the upper right corner and think of mentally pushing the little X you see there.  That will get rid of them so that you can see.”

He did just that.  “Oh!” he said.  “That worked.  Thank you.”  He methodically worked through all of the windows on his screen and slowly the room came into focus.  He was also able to see the mech attached the voice.  He had a white face with a red visor, framed by a black helm.  He was also purple and green.  Not the best color scheme, he thought distantly.

“Where am I?” he asked, his optics sweeping around the room.  There were a lot of berths, a lot of medical and repair equipment, lights blinking in and out.  He understood the names of all these things but had no association as to what they were for.

“You are in a repair bay.  You were in an accident and damaged.  What is the last thing you remember?”  said the mech. 

He thought about the question for a moment.  “I… remember asking you how to dismiss the notifications.”

A slight huff of the vents.  “Yes, and before that.”

“You told me there was no rush.”

“Anything before that,” the mech said, sounding a little irritated.

He thought hard about it but couldn’t find anything.  He felt his face frown.  “No, I’m sorry, there’s nothing there.”

The mech sighed and nodded.  “My name is Hook.  Do you know your name?”

“Oh, yes, I’m… hmm.  That’s odd.  Why don’t I know my name?”

“You were in an accident, and you lost your memories.  Your name is Starscream.”  The mech was watching him carefully. 

Starscream, he mouthed.  “Oh.  Right.  The accident you mentioned.  I was damaged.”

Hook watched him carefully with almost a smirk on this faceplate.  “Are you experiencing any pain, Starscream?”  It almost felt like he was being… patronized?  Of course, he didn’t really know either way.

Starscream thought about it and nodded.  “Yes, my helm does hurt quite a bit, actually.  Is that why I have memory loss, Hook?”

Hook nodded.  “Yes, that is why.  We’ll get you a pain patch for that.”  Starscream watched with rapt attention as Hook pulled a drawer out from a cabinet next to the berth and found a pain patch.  He coated the back in adhesive nanite gel and applied it to the cortical node at the base of Starscream’s neck.  Hook noticed Starscream watching his every move with curiosity and smiled. “You’ve always been an inquisitive mech, haven’t you?”

“Afraid I wouldn’t know, Hook!” Starscream smiled and tilted his head as the pain dulled. 

Hook almost started laughing.  “Fair enough.  Alright, I’m going to need to take you to... Megatron.  Our leader.  You will need to be respectful.  Do you understand what that means?”

Starscream nodded slowly, looking surprised.  “Have I been… disrespectful to you Hook?”

“No… but you might want to add some ‘sirs’ at the end of your statements, just to be safe.”

“Understood, sir.”

Hook smiled again and stood, indicating that Starscream should follow him.  He walked down the hallways following a few steps behind his friend Hook.  Other mechs almost froze where they were when they saw the pair walking by but Starscream just thought to smile and wave and keep walking behind Hook.  The mechs almost looked stricken and didn’t say anything back.

When they arrived, Starscream noticed there was a big grey silver mech sitting in a throne chair.  He didn’t look happy, Starscream thought.

“Lord Megatron, the procedure was successful,” Hook said.  Starscream felt contemplative at the word “procedure” but didn’t say anything.

The silver mech watched them carefully.  “Any complications?”

Hook glanced sideways at Starscream but shook his head.  “No, my lord.  He does not remember anything. Do you Starscream?”

Starscream almost jumped at being directly addressed.  “N-no, sir.”

Megatron watched them for another moment, and Starscream flicked his optics between Hook and Megatron.  Was this normal?  This kind of palpable tension and long dramatic pauses?  Finally, Megatron said, “Hook, you are dismissed.”

“Yes, milord.”

His only friend in the world turned and left without giving him a second glance.  He watched the receding back with some sadness.

“Are you sure this isn’t a farce?” Megatron said abruptly, standing from his large chair and advancing on Starscream.  Starscream looked at Megatron quizzically, wondering how best to reply to that question.

“Affirmative, Lord Megatron.  Memory loss is genuine,” came a monotonous voice from the shadows.  Starscream then noticed a dark blue mech with a red visor and mouthplate looking at him from the corner.  Ah.  That was whom Megatron was addressing.

That was kind of rude, wasn’t it?

“Oh, uh, hello. Didn’t see you there…” Starscream said indicating the new mech.

“Mechs often don’t see Soundwave,” Megatron said as if that explained everything.  He was looking at the blue mech with amusement.  Starscream felt a small throb of pain in his helm from trying to process the situation.

“Ah, Soundwave.  Pleasure to meet you… sir.”

Megatron’s optics snapped back to Starscream, and he felt himself startled at the look Megatron was giving him.  The silver mech was eyeing him carefully as if he had said something offensive.  Starscream searched the faceplate of this “leader,” feeling very out of place, tired, and confused.  He decided to take a small risk because clearly these mechs weren’t going to spell it out for him.

“Milord,” he said carefully, trying out the new honorific.  It felt oddly familiar on his glossa. “I-I have questions.”

“You do?” Megatron replied, his arms crossing in front of his chassis.

Starscream felt like his processor kept trying to access references on how to interpret the mech’s behavior, but nothing came up.  So far, the only mechs he knew in the universe were Hook, Megatron, and Soundwave, and he had barely known them for a cycle.  He was completely lost.  “If I… may,” he said finally.

Megatron waved a servo in front of him.  “Please.  I will answer if I can.”

Starscream swallowed, not sure why he felt nervous.  “I suppose I would like to know… who I am? Sir… my lord.”

The silver mech nodded and looked like he was weighing his next words carefully.  “Before the accident you were a warrior. A soldier.”

“Hmm.  Are you sure?”

“…why do you ask?”

Starscream crossed his own arms in front of his chassis, mirroring the posture of the silver mech.  “I don’t feel any like I could fight anyone.  I can’t even… fathom it, sir.”

“Hmm. Yes, your accident significantly changed you. So.  You are a flier.  Even more specifically, you are known as a seeker,” Megatron said pointing to the wings on Starscream’s back.

In truth, he had felt them, but had not really understood the significance before Megatron filled in the blanks for him.  He twitched his wings experimentally.  “Hmm. That tracks,” he said nodding.

Megatron sighed.  “Seekers were originally energon seekers, combing the universe looking for energy or fuel sources for our kind: Cybertronians from the planet Cybertron.  But now that you are recovered and… changed, I’m not sure what to do with you.  Is there anything you want to do?”

Starscream stood there dumbly for what felt like many, many kliks.  That was a lot of information in a simple couple of sentences, but it did seem to line up with his internal lexicon and reference material.  But also, he was being asked what he wanted to do, and in truth he didn’t even know what the options would be, and he didn’t want to sound foolish.  “I would like to be of use?  I know I can’t be a warrior anymore, but there are other things I could do… perhaps?  I’m afraid my experience is lacking in… everything.  I don’t seem to know anything, milord.”

Megatron watched him as he spoke, scrutinizing every word.  “There are certain things the accident did not take from you.  Reaction times, frame memory, proclivity to inventing and science.  Even without the knowledge you amassed over your former life, these things might come naturally to you.”  Megatron paused again and gave him one last searching look, then turned around and walked back to his throne.  “Why don’t we talk about this after some time?  I’m sure things are confusing for you and maybe in time things will become clearer.”

There was a long pause as Starscream just stared at Megatron. 

“Are you alright?” Megatron asked, with a hint of something bordering on concern.

“Yes,” Starscream rasped out, and then he swallowed thickly. “I have uhm- I have some processes that running that are making me… feel odd. Sir.”

“Odd?” Megatron said. 

Starscream took a big invent.  “I don’t want to be rude, but it appears I have feelings that I should be wary of trusting everyone.  But I have no reason not to trust anyone.  So, I am… concerned, sir.”

Megatron’s optics glittered in the dim throne room.  Starscream couldn’t be sure it was amusement, anger, or some other emotion he had yet to experience.  His social programs were basic at best and were not helpful in interpreting this enigmatic mech.  “Hmm. It is good to have healthy skepticism,” Megatron said wistfully.  “You are a member of the Decepticons: the name of my army.  We are at war with the Autobots.  Trust does not come easily to our ranks. By our very nature we have had to struggle for what is ours,” Megatron said thoughtfully.  “But. There are some mechs you can trust implicitly.”  He turned and nodded to Soundwave.

Two new mechs came through the door behind him.  Starscream noticed they too had wings and looked very similar to him.  Or so he thought.  He had yet to see what he fully looked like yet.  The black one looked like he was trying to hold himself back with something close to excitement.  The blue one looked more reserved.

“These are your trinemates:  Thundercracker and Skywarp.  They will look after you for now.  We will chat again soon.”

“Thank you, sir.” 

Megatron gave him one final inscrutable look.  “As long as you are here, you will be protected,” he said cryptically.  He then then waved a servo.  “You’re dismissed.”

Starscream nodded and then turned around mouthing the word “trinemates” before following the other two mechs out of the room.

Chapter 5: The Wise One

Notes:

FLUFFY BITS lol Thank you all so much for reading, commenting and kudo-ing :D

Once they had exited, the mech called Skywarp was immediately on him, giving him a hug.  Then he pulled back and immediately looked bereft at Starscream’s surprised expression.

“Oh Primus, sorry!” he said woefully.  “TC said to take this slow and not overwhelm you.”

Starscream felt his face soften.  “Uh, I was just surprised.  I don’t think I actually mind.”  He thought for a moment as he looked at the black seeker’s faceplate.  Skywarp had a smile of such hope and relief, Starscream felt his spark flutter. 

“I mean, I don’t mind, I just think I need… to sit down,” he said, feeling a rush of lightheadedness. 

Thundercracker gently took his arm to steady him.  “You have been through a lot today.”  His vocalizer was deep and rumbling.  “Let’s go back to our quarters and refuel there before we run into anyone else and risk more overwhelming.”

“How far away is that?” Starscream asked, feeling dizzy.

Thundercracker just smiled and glanced at Skywarp.  The black seeker winked at him and touched them both on the arm.

Suddenly they were in another room.

Starscream felt his intakes lurch.  Despite how disoriented his processor said he should be, he found his frame was very much okay with being in one place at one time, and a completely new place seconds later. 

“Uhm,” he said with his optics wide.

Skywarp laughed and guided him to a chair, gently setting him down.  “Yeah, I’m pretty fragging amazing,” he said smirking.

He wanted to ask for elaboration, but he was distracted by the new room.  The room was smaller than the throne room, but still comfortable.  Starscream wasn’t sure why the size of the room mattered, but he’d have to figure that out later.  There was a small table that he sat at with three chairs and some other furniture for sitting and relaxing.  For some reason, the three chairs felt… good.  Comforting.

This seemed to be some kind of common room.  There were four other rooms attached to this one.  Three of them were clearly berthrooms and one led to a what looked like a washroom of some kind.

Thundercracker sat down in a chair close to Starscream.  “I’m sure this is a lot for you,” he said with gentle optics.  “We were quite upset to hear about your accident and your memory loss.”

Starscream nodded carefully.  “This is a lot, but I’m also eager to get my footing.  I feel more than a little out of my depth here,” he said carefully, still not sure how to proceed with these friendly mechs.

“Does it… bother you?  The not-knowing?” Skywarp asked, sitting down next to him in a chair.

“Hmm,” he said, and gave a nervous laugh.  “Yes. It’s disturbing.”  He set his elbow on the table and then leaned his forehead into his servo.  “My chronometer says I’m over 4 million years old.  That’s a long time to have… nothing.”

He noticed the small glance between the other two seekers.  They then fixed their optics back on him with a look.

“Yes.  Yes, it is a long time” Thundercracker said quietly.

Starscream felt himself get frustrated, but it felt muted, somehow.  He sighed.  “Why does everyone look at me like that?”

“Like what?” Skywarp said.

“Like that,” Starscream said, throwing a servo at Skywarp’s face.  “I don’t know what it is or what it means.  Everyone’s doing it.  Except… Megatron, come to think of it.”  He remembered the silver mech as being intimidating and almost unapproachable.  But he didn’t give him this look. 

“Starscream,” Thundercracker said gently.  “You were injured.  We were just worried about you.”

Starscream wanted to be placated, but something still didn’t feel right.  “I also have this nagging feeling in the back of my processor that I shouldn’t be trusting everyone.  I asked Megatron who I should trust, and he said I could trust you two?  But he didn’t include himself in that.  Why didn’t he include himself?  Should I not trust Megatron?”

The two seekers just stared at him for a few moments.  Then Skywarp whistled and put his servos up in a kind of surrendered motion.  “I’ll… go pour some energon,” he said standing and walking away.  Starscream watched after him, feeling even more desolate.

Thundercracker sighed.  “Starscream, you will need to be careful about who you trust from now on.  But you can trust Skywarp and myself implicitly.  We are trine.  Megatron said he will protect you, and the whole base here has declared that they will help you as well.  You can trust in these pledges.”

Starscream searched Thundercracker’s optics.  In them, he didn’t sense deception, but then again, what did that even look like?  He had no frame of reference.  There were a lot of other questions rolling in his processor, chiefly being… was he someone important?  Why did they all care about his well-being?  Or was that how things were around here?  And there was something else…

“I understand the lexicon definition of a trine, but can you explain that more to me?  You are my trinemates?  What does that mean in practice?”

Skywarp looked shocked as he returned to the table with cubes of energon. He turned his optics to Thundercracker who sighed.  “It is a terrible thing that you have lost this heritage, but we will happily guide you through it,” Thundercrakcer said.  “We are seekers, and seekers are drawn together in groups of three, also known as a trine.  We function like a family unit.  We fly together, we work together, we protect each other.”

Starscream frowned slightly.  “Did they tell you the… details of my accident?”  Were they going to push him out of the trine?  He did not think he could protect them anymore as was apparently his duty.  Especially during a war.

That look again.  This time, Skywarp answered.  “Yes, we know about how you can’t fight anymore.  That’s why we’re going to protect you.”

Starscream felt his helm pang with some pain and he winced. 

“Are you alright?!” his trinemates said in unison.

Starscream felt… comforted by that.  He nodded weakly.  “I’m alright, just… tired.”

“Drink this, you will feel better,” Skywarp said nudging the cube closer to him.

Starscream grabbed the cube, drinking it.  He felt a little better, but he was still exhausted.  The taste was familiar, even though it wasn’t amazingly palatable.  Still, his frame recognized it as fuel, and he saw his gauge go up.

Starscream smiled weakly at Skywarp.  “Thank you,” he said.

The black seeker looked concerned and put the back of a servo on Starscream’s forehead.  “You’re running really hot,” he said looking to Thundercracker.  Starscream dimmed his optics and leaned into the servo that felt cool and comforting.  Skywarp’s optics softened.

“You get him into his berth, I’ll comm Hook,” Thundercracker said.

Skywarp stood and slowly pulled the unresisting Starscream out of his chair, guiding him to the far berthroom near the washracks.  Starscream leaned on his trinemate, who gladly took the weight. They entered the new room, and Starscream assumed it was his own quarters, but nothing seemed familiar.  Skywarp gently set him down on the berth and leaned him back. 

Thundercracker came in with a coolant pack in his hand.  “Hook says to just keep an eye on him.  The full effects of the accident might still be running through his systems.  This should help,” he said, gently applying the cooling pack to Starscream’s forehead.  Starscream made a small sigh of relief and closed his optics.

He heard them talking about him, but he couldn’t quite make out the words.  He felt a servo wrap around his and give it a squeeze before the pressure on the berth lessened and he heard them leave.

Suddenly faced the with prospect of being alone, he slowly sat up catching the cooling pack as it slid off his helm.  “Wait,” he said, his vocalization very weak.

Two pairs of red optics peered at him from the doorway. 

“Please… don’t leave,” he said, kind of hating how pathetic he sounded, but also not sure he could really do anything about it.  He was pathetic.

Through slightly hazy vision, he saw Skywarp’s faceplate brighten as he turned back into the common room with a squeak of excitement.  Thundercracker gave Starscream a soft look and came in to slowly guide him out of the berth.  “You have no idea how happy you just made him.”  Starscream was confused until he was back out in the common room, and Skywarp was adjusting the couch.  By pushing some hidden button, the three-seater couch expanded into a large, round berth.  It was at least three-times the size of Starscream’s original berth.

“We haven’t used this in centuries,” Skywarp said, smiling.  He bounded into his own berthroom and came out holding a multitude of blankets and pillows.

“I hope at least it’s more comfortable than something that hasn’t been used in centuries,” Thundercracker teased as Skywarp made up the berth.

“Hey!  This is a state-of-the-art expanding berth.  From Cybertron. Super high-end; stole it from some noble’s penthouse.  It’s probably one of the last ones in existence.”

“There might be a reason for that,” Thundercracker said in Starscream’s audio.  Despite his exhaustion, Starscream snorted.  Thundercracker’s optics glittered and he slowly helped Starscream into the middle of the berth.  Once the seeker had settled, laying his helm down against the pillows, Skywarp and Thundercracker crawled in on either side of him.  Thundercracker then gently reapplied the cooling pack to Starscream’s forehead, and the seeker melted in relief.

“Why haven’t we slept here in centuries?” he asked.  But his optics were already closed and he was in recharge almost instantly.

Thundercracker frowned sadly and met Skywarp’s optics over the sleeping frame of their trineleader.  Or… was he still the trineleader?  They were really in unknown territory now.

Skywarp was leaning over Starscream, caressing the side of his helm while watching him recharge.  “I’ve missed him so much,” Skywarp said softly.

Thundercracker was going to ask what he meant, because to anyone else, it would seem like they had actually just lost Starscream, not gotten him back.  But then Thundercracker felt Starscream shift and push closer into the touch of Skywarp, and he knew what he meant.

“He’s just… so adorable like this,” Skywarp said.  “I never thought I’d see him like this again.”

Thundercracker sighed.  “We will do our best to do right by him this time.”

Skywarp nodded and laid down his helm next to Starscream and closed his optics for recharge. 

Thundercracker turned so that he wings were flared out behind him, and faced the sleeping form of Starscream as well, seeing him recharge peacefully and in full trust of his trinemates.  This was a silver lining here, and he hoped they could grasp it.

But the thought that Starscream would never again be able to fly with them into battle still left a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.

---

Skywarp woke in the middle of the night, surprised that the sleeping form facing him was not the pale face of Thundercracker, but the darker one of Starscream.  He pulled back in fear for a moment, expecting to be yelled at, scratched, harassed, berated-

But then he remembered.

Starscream seemed to rouse a little at Skywarp’s movement, and blearily opened one optic and looked at his trinemate.  “Sky…warp?” he said sleepily.

“Hey there, Star,” the black seeker said quietly, smiling and laying his helm down again. His nose was practically touching Starscream’s and he could feel the light warm breath of his intakes.

“…’Star’?” Starscream repeated, with a small smile.

“Is it okay to call you that?”  Skywarp asked, bringing up a servo to stroke the side of Starscream’s helm.  When the red and white seeker didn’t object, Skywarp smiled bigger.  “We sometimes called you ‘Screamer too, but you never liked that nickname.”

“…because of my voice?” he said, bringing a servo up to his throat.  “No one else sounds like me,” he observed thoughtfully.

Your speaking voice was part of it, Skywarp thought wryly.  “We just like to shorten names I guess.  I get called ‘Warp,’ and Thundercracker is also ‘TC.’”

Starscream smiled softly.  “I’m fine with whatever you’d like to call me,” he said. 

Skywarp felt a small fluttering in his spark and felt magnetically pulled to the seeker in front of him.  It had been a long, long time since Starscream had allowed himself to be so vulnerable in front of his trinemates, and even longer since they were this close in a berth.  Skywarp knew he was more of a physical mech and touching and proximity were the ways he showed affection.  And he definitely was feeling affectionate.

He stopped petting Starscream’s helm and looked at him.  “Are you… happy?  With us?  I know to you we just met, but… have we made a good impression?”

Starscream furrowed his brow a little.  “When I woke up, I wasn’t sure I had anyone that cared about me.  I thought Hook did, but I realize now he’s just a medic.  And Megatron and Soundwave were… distant.  I was afraid of what my life was going to be like.  But then I learned I had you two,” Starscream said, pushing his forehead into Skywarp’s while closing his optics.  “And well, I don’t know why you care for me so much, but I’m happy you do.”

Skywarp felt like his spark was going to burst in his chest.

Starscream noticed his words were affecting Skywarp, but his optics showed doubt.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ he started, clearly misinterpreting Skywarp’s reaction.

Skywarp pushed forward his lips to Starscream’s in a kiss. 

Starscream froze and his optics widened slightly.  Skywarp drank in Starscream, and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around the pretty seeker beside him.  He had always been so attracted to the colorful seeker, and he had been so happy when he had agreed to trine with him and Thundercracker.  It had honestly been one of the best days of his life. 

It had been clear that Starscream had some demons, but they had loved him anyway.  They were a great trine, and nothing could stand in their way.  They quickly rose through the Decepticon ranks together and felt unstoppable.  But slowly, they began to fight more.  It was easy to blame Starscream for the change in their dynamic since he changed the most.  He became paranoid, ambitious, arrogant, and honestly mean.  But Skywarp and Thundercracker had also pulled back from the bristling trineleader, offering no support or affection, and practically built their own relationship together away from him.

They had participated in much of the cruelty their second-in-command had endured throughout the years though Starscream often made it easy for them to get over any guilt they might have had by being a glitch.

Still, Skywarp had always hoped they could bridge things, fix things.  He still wanted Starscream in his life after all this time.  Being an emotionally broken trine was hard on all three of them.

He kissed Starscream deeper, wanting him and wanting to show him how much he still loved him.  He opened his optics to see Starscream’s blushing faceplate and half lidded optics, but his optics looked… unsure.

Starscream had never been indecisive before.

In a rare show of restraint, Skywarp pulled out of the kiss. He moved lips up to Starscream’s forehead as he cycled his vents to cool himself down.  Starscream said nothing, but his vents also cycled loudly.

“I’m… stupid,” Skywarp said into Starscream’s forehead.  “I should have waited until you were sure you wanted this.”

Starscream still was not moving, and still holding his intakes.  “I’m… not entirely convinced I don’t want this either.”

Skywarp smiled and pulled back to look down at his trinemate.  “Even so, it’s too soon.  You need more… time.  More information.  Thundercracker told me to wait, and I should have listened.”

Starscream finally exvented, relaxing in his hold.  “You two are the best thing that has happened to me since I woke up.  I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Skywarp squeezed Starscream’s frame then untangled from the embrace.  “The truth is, Star, that’s the nature of relationships.  We will disappoint each other at some point.”

Starscream smiled despite the nature of his statement.  “So, you’re the wise one of our trine.”

Skywarp snorted.  “I promise you I’m not.  I probably just used up my entire lifetime’s worth of brilliance with that line.”  In fact, he was pretty sure he was misquoting the old Starscream saying something hateful.

“But I’m really trying to impress you so that’s probably why I sound so great.” 

Starscream’s embarrassed smile was adorable but he tried to hide it by nuzzling into Skywarp’s chassis.  “I look forward to getting to know you better,” he said.  “Oh, wise one.”

Skywarp chuckled and curled around his trinemate, thinking that he was going to get so much slag if Star ever called him that in front of anyone else.  But he also didn’t really care.

At the edge of the berth, facing away from them was TC, who smiled softly in the darkness.

 

Notes:

<3

Small plug for a SkyStar Pairing Secret Santa Exchange I'm participating in! We'll be exhanging fics or art, and you can request up to 3 prompts :) If you are an artist or a writer, we'd love to have you! <3

https://skystar-secret-santa.tumblr.com/post/630451867912110080/skystar-secret-santa-2020

Chapter 6: The Mech Formerly Known as the Air Commander

When Starscream woke, Skywarp was gone.  Thundercracker was still in the berth beside him, sitting up and reading a data pad, sipping some energon.

“Good afternoon,” Thundercracker said with a smile.  “I hope you are feeling better.”

Starscream slowly sat up and stretched.  “I am, thank you.  It seems the berth was more comfortable than we thought,” he said with a smirk.

Thundercracker handed Starscream his cube.  “Quite… comfortable it seems,” he said raising an optic-ridge.

Starscream’s servo faltered as he took the cube, managing to grab it right at the last second before spilling it.  He blushed and quickly sipped the energon to try and hide it.

“Star, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” TC said gently.  “I just wanted to make sure you had the chance to ask questions… if you wanted to.”

Starscream was incredibly embarrassed anyway.  “I mean I’m barely a day old now, so I guess it’s about time I start kissing mechs,” he said nervously.  He looked down.  Thundercracker had the decency not to laugh at his stupid joke.

Starscream swallowed.  “I guess I want to know…  Hm.  I guess I’m getting some conflicting information,” he started, rising his optics to look at Thundercracker.  The blue seeker looked concerned.  “We haven’t slept in the same berth in centuries, but Skywarp is clearly… interested in me.”

“You’re afraid he’s taking advantage of you and your lack of memories.”

Starscream was stricken by the statement, but with some reluctance he could admit that the thought had crossed his mind.  “How close were we?  Recently?”

Thundercracker sighed.  “We used to be closer.  I think you took more to being the most ambitious mech in the army, and we might have been… rivals to you.  We were civil… most of the time.”

“Civil,” Starscream repeated, perplexed and… saddened.

“I know… Skywarp wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.  And I wanted that too.  But I’m sorry, Starscream, I don’t know what you wanted regarding us.  If we had known, we would have tried to give it to you.”

Starscream considered this for a moment.  “As I told Skywarp last night… I don’t know what I want yet.  But I enjoy your company.  Maybe we can just see how things go?”

Thundercracker smiled.  “I think we would both like that very much.  But… we need to be open with communication.  Things can happen fast.” Thundercracker scrunched up his faceplate, like he was having trouble with the words.  “Eh, Star, you are going to have to be careful with this kind of stuff with others in the future.  You are going to have to be sure you trust them… I mean you are going to need to get to know if they are good… eugh that’s not right either,” he said frowning. 

Starscream was a little amused.  His trinemate was quite cute when he was trying to self-edit his statements.  TC seemed to dip into the caregiver role naturally, and though it did come of as patronizing it also rang of truth in his audios.

“TC,” Starscream said gently.  “I know I may have the knowledge of a sparkling, but I am actually not one,” he said raising his optic ridges in jest.  “I’m not going to go around trying to sleep with every mech I find.”

Thundercracker sighed, now embarrassed himself.  “I know. I… I realize that.  It’s just now… Star.  You can’t fight back.”

Starscream tilted his helm.  “Why would I want to?”

Thundercracker looked… shocked as his lips parted.  “If you were suddenly in a situation where you wanted to stop, you might not be able to overpower the… aggressor.”

“Why would I need to overpower them? I would just tell them I wanted to stop.”

Thundercracker looked extremely uncomfortable.  “But what if they don’t want to stop and don’t care how you feel about it?”

Starscream frowned.  “How can I possibly trust anyone then, if that’s the way things are?”

Thundercracker looked so sad… but also had the annoying smack of pity on his faceplate.  He was about to say more when Skywarp suddenly appeared in the room.

“Wow, both of you still in the berth?  And they call me lazy!” Skywarp joked.

The awkwardness of their conversation seemed to hang in the air, but Starscream didn’t feel like dwelling on it.  “I suppose I was more tired than I thought.  Where were you?”

“Monitor duty,” Skywarp said, wrinkling his nose.  “Boring as Pit, especially since the Autobots have barely left their base at all.”

“Is that… abnormal?” Starscream asked, looking back and forth between his trinemates.

“Perhaps a little.  Don’t really mind the down time though,” Skywarp said with a smirk.  “Speaking of which.  You up to meeting a few more mechs today?  Got cornered while on duty and couldn’t really say no.”

“Who?” Thundercracker said with thinly-veiled suspicion.

Skywarp smirked.  “Coneheads and the Constructicons.”

Thundercracker narrowed his optics.  “That’s an odd mix,” he said.

Skywarp shrugged.  “Look, more seekers for him to talk to: not a bad thing.  And it sounds like it was mostly Hook, but the others wanted to say hi too.”

“Hook wants to see me?” Starscream said, barely able to keep the excitement out of his voice.  Hook was… his first acquaintance since he had woken.  He couldn’t help but have some kind associations with the mech.

Skywarp grinned and held out his servo to Starscream.  “Let me get you set up in the washracks so that you look your best.  Not that it’s hard for you to look good,” Skywarp said, raising an optic ridge.

Starscream took the servo, giving the seeker a wry smile.  He allowed himself to be led into the other room.

Skywarp returned to the common room and tried to avoid TC’s gaze.  “I’m trying,” he said quietly.

Thundercrakcer bristled.  “Try harder, Skywarp.  Honestly, he’s worried you might be taking advantage of him.”

Skywarp looked horrified and then threw himself facedown on the berth in shame.  “I don’t remember liking him this much when we first trined.  It’s hard.”

“He’s your perfect type now.  Naïve but extremely curious.  Plus, it’s new.  Just rein in the flirting and late-night groping, or I will kick you out of our quarters so that you can’t corrupt him.”

“You just want him for yourself,” Skywarp said, half-joking, half-not.  He flinched at the pillow that was pelted at his head, but he knew he deserved it.

Thundercracker moved closer to Skywarp.  “We also have to be careful, because he doesn’t understand yet how he’s… pacified.  The memory wipe was hard enough, but the new coding has made him more vulnerable than I thought.”

Skywarp turned on his side to look up at his handsome trinemate.  “No one here is going to hurt him,” Skywarp said.

“Not on purpose,” Thundercracker said, giving the black and purple seeker a hard, knowing stare.

Skywarp winced a little.  “You win, TC, I get it.  I won’t rush anything.”

Thundercracker flicked his trinemate on the audio affectionately.  “Glad to hear it, oh wise one.”

Skywarp groaned.

---

They left a little early to explore the base, and his trinemates were taking care to try and avoid other Decepticons where they could.  They were relatively successful, with just a few mechs attempting curious conversation only to be sternly glared at by the blue seeker or even forcibly warped away in the case of Blitzwing.

They managed to get into the seeker’s private command center, where Ramjet, Dirge, Thrust and the Constructicons were waiting.  They all turned and looked at Starscream oddly when he arrived, but he swallowed the nervousness and forced on a smile.  “Well.  Pleasure to meet you all.  Again.”

This actually earned some light chuckling from the mechs, and it helped ease the tension the room had.  Starscream knew that there wasn’t likely to be a manual on how to approach this situation, but he thought that he was probably doing well.  Conversations were struck up with the Coneheads and his trine, and Hook made sure to come up to him, much to his delight. 

“Hook!  Good to see you,” he said warmly.

The mech gave him a confused but warm smile.  “Starscream, it is good to see you as well,” he said haltingly.  He turned to the other mechs around him.  “These are the rest of my gestalt: Scavenger, Long Haul, Mixmaster, Bonecrusher and Scrapper, our leader.”  Starscream inclined his helm in a little bow to greet them. 

“How have you been feeling?” Scrapper asked, tilting his helm.

“Oh, well, some helmaches.  Today is much better than yesterday,” he said, smiling warmly.

Hook frowned a little.  “Starscream,” he started, moving closer and lowering his voice.  “We wanted you to know that if you ever need anything- anything at all- we would assist you.  Please consider us your allies.”

Starscream couldn’t quite hide the confusion on his faceplate.  “…I appreciate the sentiment.  But we’re all allies here, right?”  He glanced around at each mech’s faceplate.  That look again.  He bit back a small flare of anger and frustration.

Hook nodded.  “Yes, you’re right.  I think a lot of mechs feel the same way as we do now after your accident.  We just felt compelled to tell you this personally because we have gone through something similar to you.”

Starscream looked at them with surprise.  “You also lost your memories?”

Hook looked confused again and was about to say more when Thundercracker arrived, handing Starscream a cube.  “Ramjet is going to blow a gasket unless you go over and talk to him,” the blue seeker said.  “He’s a little… much.  Don’t take it personally,” TC said conspiratorially.  Starscream smiled and walked away towards the strange grey and white seeker Thundercracker had indicated.

Hook looked at Thundercracker with concern.  “Does he not understand his… vulnerability?  His reprogramming?”

The blue seeker frowned.  “I have been trying to explain it to him, but he doesn’t understand.  He doesn’t have a frame of reference, so telling him he can’t defend himself doesn’t sound like something he should be afraid of.”

Hook matched the seeker’s frown.  “That might have been an unintended consequence to this.”

“Ah if it isn’t the disabled Air Commander,” Ramjet said, his armor fluffed out in what Starscream perceived a dominance display. 

Sure.  Fine. 

“Ah, I doubt I’m still a Commander in the army,” Starscream said with a smile.  “Fighting isn’t something I can really accomplish anymore, is it?”

This seemed to surprise the dark grey and white seeker, who clearly had a retort lined up but died on his tongue.  “You’d just… give it up?  Just like that?”

Starscream shrugged.  “Not sure I really have a choice, do I?” he said with a small smile.  “Do you mind me asking: did we know each other really well?”

Ramjet seemed taken aback by both the response and the question.  “I mean… yeah we knew each other.  Well.  Actually.  Not really,” he decided wrinkling his noseplate.  “You were our commander, not really our… friend.”

“That’s fine, I suppose,” Starscream said, waving his servo, though silently stowing away some sadness at that.  “I think what I’m really asking is: who was I closest to here?  Who knew me really well?”  Starscream might be taking a risk somehow asking a complete stranger for this information.

Ramjet folded his arms across his chassis and tilted his helm as if he hadn’t quite heard.  He seemed thrown off during this entire conversation, and Starscream thought that he had inadvertently made the right decision in how to interact with his mech.

“Erm well, honestly?  Probably Megatron?” Ramjet said with a shrug.  “And of course, your trine.  You also were oddly around Rumble a lot too, now to think about it.  But I eh, don’t think they are the ones you are looking for,” Ramjet said slowly watching Starscream’s faceplate. 

Starscream’s face fell a little at the explanation.  While he was happy about the confirmation about his trine… Megatron?  Really?  And who the slag was Rumble?

“Oh,” he said with disappointment.  “Well thanks anyway, Ramjet.”

The Conehead seeker frowned.  “You really have changed, haven’t you?” he said incredulously.  “I thought it was all an act.  Slag, ‘Screamer, I’m sorry.”

Starscream remembered Skywarp telling him he apparently didn’t like that name before, but now he didn’t really care.  “Was I so different before?”

Ramjet opened his mouth but then shut it like he had changed his mind about answering.  He shrugged instead.  “I guess you’re pretty tolerable now,” he said with a half-smile.

Skywarp slunk in next to Starscream, bumping his shoulder against his trinemate.  “You okay?  He say anything particularly stupid?” the black and purple seeker said with an appraising look at the Conehead trineleader.

Starscream leaned into his trinemate slightly, taking comfort at the contact and gave a grin.  “Not at all; Ramjet has been great.  Thanks for the chat,” he said.

Starscream turned around and walked back towards the rest of the crowd that was slowly getting louder as more high-grade was passed around.  He introduced himself to the other two seekers Dirge and Thrust and chatted with them.

Ramjet stepped up to stand next to Skywarp.  “I’m uh.  Sorry this happened to him,” he said.

Skywarp glanced at the usually insufferable seeker next to him and then shifted his gaze to his trinemate.  “I think we just have to make the best of it.”

The makeshift party continued for a couple of hours but was abruptly cut short by the arrival of three mechs: Megatron, Soundwave, and to everyone’s surprise, a big purple mech with a single optic and no other discernable facial features.

Starscream noticed the shift in the tone of the room as everyone stood straighter and quieted their conversations.

“Apologies, mechs,” Megatron said.  “I hope we are not interrupting.”

No one spoke for a moment, and Starscream got the impression that they might actually have wanted him to say something.  But then Scrapper intervened.  “No, my lord, just allowing Starscream to get to know us again while we had time off-duty.  We were about finished anyway.”

The new purple mech he didn’t know moved his optic to Starscream.  The seeker felt scrutinized.

“Ah, I see.  Well, we do have some official business with the elite trine,” he said, his optics running over the seekers in question.

The rest of the Decepticons bowed and left quickly out the door, leaving the three mechs and the three seekers staring at each other. 

“It has been decided that Starscream will be demoted from Air Commander and second-in-command of the Decepticon Army to become a Lieutenant.” 

Both Thundercracker and Skywarp snapped their helms to look at Starscream standing behind them, searching him for a reaction.  Starscream was surprised.  Starscream met their optics but then inclined his helm at Megatron.  “Acknowledged, my lord.”

This answer seemed to please the Decepticon leader.  “I am allowing him to keep a rank in the army in an honorary fashion, that he may still reap the benefits of being part of the Decepticon army,” Megatron said, his optics fixed on Starscream.  The seeker’s wings twitch at the attention.  “He still needs to be evaluated for what his possible duties could be.

“Thundercracker, you will be made Air Commander of the Decepticon Army.  Soundwave will become my second-in-command, and you will be my third.”

The blue seeker stiffened but managed to say, “Acknowledged, my lord.”

“Excellent.  In addition, Shockwave is here to help us evaluate the extent of Starscream’s condition.  He will need to report to the labs tomorrow morning at the beginning of first watch.”

Thundercracker and Skywarp dipped their heads and Starscream followed their lead after a moment of hesitation.

The three commanders turned and left without another word.

Starscream immediately put his hand on Thundercracker’s shoulder.  The blue seeker tensed a little until he saw Starscream’s face. 

“Congratulations, TC, this is wonderful for you!”

Thundercracker gave him the look but it melted into a smile.  He reached out and hugged the tri-colored seeker.  “It should be you, Star, you have to know that,” he said quietly and sadly.  “But thank you.  I will do you proud.”

Skywarp came up behind them and wrapped around the three of them in a gentle hug.

---

 

The next morning, TC escorted Starscream to the labs.  On the way there, the blue seeker listed off a litany of things to look out for around the purple gunformer.

“He’s very obsessed with logic, so he’s going to come off as rude,” Thundercracker said.  “And he tends to overstep in the name of science so if you are uncomfortable, just comm ‘Warp and he’ll be there.  We asked to be able to stay and observe, but Shockwave said it would throw off the experiment.”

Starscream listened intently.  There was always an undercurrent of worry to Thundercracker, and Starscream wanted to wrap his arms around his reserved trinemate and hold him until he let his anxiety go.  He found that now that the blue seeker had been announced as the new Air Commander, he carried a lot more weight on his already tired shoulders.  Even ‘Warp had taken on a little bit more of a responsible edge, and they both seemed exhausted when they came back to their shared quarters.

It seemed the responsibilities of a trine were being foisted upon two seekers, while one was practically worthless.

They arrived and TC and Starscream walked through the lab doors.  Shockwave had his back to them and was typing away on a console.  They stood there for a few moments until TC cleared his vocalizer.  Still, Shockwave did not acknowledge them.

It seemed that there were quite a few rude mechs in the Decepticon ranks, Starscream thought wryly.

“Sir, I’ve arrived for testing,” Starscream said, sneaking a small smile to his trinemate.

Shockwave still didn’t turn around, and just waved a servo in the air.  “You my leave, Air Commander,” he said clipped.

Thundercracker sighed and gave Starscream a quick squeeze of the shoulder as he turned and left the room.

Shockwave continued to ignore him for more than a few kliks.  Starscream began to suspect this was some kind of strange, theatrical display, making him wait on purpose.

Well, he didn’t have anything better to do.  His time wasn’t precious.

He observed the lab instead.  Megatron had said that he had proclivity to science and inventing, and he did find himself drawn to the various machines and equipment in the room.  He was curious as to what they did and what they were for.  Some things he could identify, but he knew he only had the most basic of lexicons installed. 

Finally, the purple mech had apparently tired of testing his patience, and his optic roved over the seeker’s frame with… an emotion.

Starscream realized he couldn’t read this mech at all.  He thought Megatron was difficult to interpret.

“You are here for us to test the exact limits of your condition, as apparently no one is quite sure about your boundaries,” he said.  “Most of what we know about your condition is based on legend, rumor, and hearsay, and not based in any form of reputable data.  So, we will have to start with the basics.”

Starscream knit his brow in confusion.  “Other mechs have had my condition before?  I thought it was an accident, and I was… changed?”

Shockwave’s optic did not waver.  “There have been others who had your condition before.  Let’s begin,” he said stiffly.

That wasn’t an answer to everything, but it would have to do.

“On the table is a blaster.  I need you to fire it at the target on the wall over there,” he said, turning to the console to start writing notes.

Starscream looked at the blaster, then at the target.  He wrinkled his brow.  “But that will mark the wall,” he said.

Shockwave stopped typing to slowly look at the seeker.  “Yes.  It will mark the wall.  But I am giving you an order.”  Starscream looked at the optic watching him carefully and sighed.  Then picked up the blaster and lined his vision down the sight; something that felt… familiar.

And then he felt overwhelming nausea.

He slowly set the blaster down and leaned on the table in front of him to steady his swaying pedes.  He could feel Shockwave watching him with keen interest.  “I apologize, sir,” he said weakly.  “I cannot comply with that order.”

Shockwave was beside him in an instant and was hooking up diodes to his frame and his helm that attached to a medical-looking scanner in his servo.  Starscream was unnerved by the mech now so close, but he also was trying to focus and force himself not to purge his tanks.

“Explain to me why you are disobeying the order,” he said, not angry, just curious.  He kept looking at his scanner, and it was beeping annoyingly.

“I… don’t have any desire to mar the wall.  It feels wrong somehow.”

“Even if it is a direct order?  What if I told you that your trinemates will be punished for your insubordination?”

Starscream blanched, unsure if this was a hypothetical threat or an actual threat.  His servo trembled and he went to try and grip the blaster again, but then stopped, his servo falling back to his side.  “No,” he said somewhat mournfully.  “I still cannot comply.”  He didn’t want his trinemates to be punished, but somehow marking the wall was worse.

That… can’t be right.

He looked to Shockwave who was quickly typing notes in a datapad.  “Highly illogical,” he muttered.

“Why can’t I obey the order?” he heard himself ask, hearing his vocalizer crack.

Shockwave said nothing and then grabbed his wrist and was pulling him along to sit in a chair.

Starscream landed in the chair roughly, feeling his frame smart a little at being thrown around.  But his processor was still reeling from the fact he was so damned obsessed with not hurting the wall that he didn’t really begrudge the treatment.

On the table in front of him was a little square, metal cube.  Shockwave indicated it.  “Lift this from the table,” he said, watching him with that incessant optic.

Starscream reached out and lifted it, feeling that it was stuck.  He gave it a little more force and then was able to pull it off, but it apparently had been glued to the table with some kind of sticky adhesive.  It took some of the paint with the table.

“Oh,” he said with surprise.  He had inadvertently damaged the table.

“Now put the cube down and lift it back up again.”

Starscream slowly put the cube back down, and tried to lift it, but noticed that the cube would likely damage the table again given the resistance he was feeling.

“I… I can’t,” he said with surprise.  He felt the overwhelming feeling to just not do what Shockwave asked.

Shockwave hummed thoughtfully.  He sat down at the table and stared at Starscream for a few kliks.  “Did anyone tell you about the history of your condition?” he said conversationally.

Starscream was more than a little confused, not only because of the turn of the conversation, but also the new, almost friendly behavior from the purple mech.  “No,” he finally said, shrugging.

Shockwave’s optic danced back and forth as he looked into each of Starscream’s optics, like he was searching for something.  “Your frame type has often been considered to be unruly,” he said turning his attention to the table.  “Based on my research, some of this was a deserved reputation, but not any more than any other frame type.  Some of it might have been from jealousy.  If things got bad enough on our home planet, your frame type could just fly away and leave.  You didn’t have to stay on the ground and deal with the problems that were developing.”

Shockwave turned his optic back to Starscream.  “Occasionally there would be edicts to try and bring fliers in-line, like imposing restrictions of where and when you could fly.  Then came the idea that you were just naturally violent and if that was taken away, you might actually be able to find a purpose that benefited Cybertronian society.” 

“Then came tacere-avem.  An insidious program that routes out any and all capacity for violence and makes you docile.  I had thought it was just violence towards sentient creatures, but apparently it is towards inanimate objects as well.”

Starscream felt like he had been slapped.  “…this… this was not an accident?”

Shockwave tilted his helm.  “My understanding is that the mechs who pacified you did not understand that it was be permanent.  But that does not matter now.”

Starscream despaired.

“We need to try a few more experiments,” Shockwave said.  “It will help us determine more boundaries.”

Starscream suddenly wanted to do anything other than find out more about his boundaries, but he also knew he didn’t have a choice.

Suddenly, Shockwave’s left servo, which was clearly a gun, was pushing against the cables in his throat.

Starscream did not move though he held his intakes.  His optics were trained on the yellow optic that was observing him carefully as Shockwave moved closer and stood over Starscream in a dominating presence.  The seeker was oddly calm looking up at the mech who held his life at the edge of a gun.

Though it was only a flicker, Starscream thought he caught something in Shockwave’s optic.  It was more than just curiosity that was making him move closer to Starscream.

This was the first time since he started his new life that he was completely vulnerable and at someone else’s mercy.  Thundercracker’s earlier words of warning were echoing in his processor.

Shockwave was cycling the gun up, and Starscream felt it warm against his neck.  Still, he remained where he was, looking at the optic with resignation.  There would be no stopping this, if this is what Shockwave wanted to do.

The gun lowered from his neck, and their optics remained fixed on one-another, even as Starscream went to rub is neck absentmindedly with his servo and released his held ex-vent.

“You would have let me kill you,” Shockwave said, more amused than surprised.  “What were you thinking in that moment?”

Starscream clenched his jaw a little, breaking optic-contact finally by looking down at the table.  “Nothing, beyond wondering why you are so cruel.”

“Ah,” Shockwave said, sitting down.  “That sounded like the Starscream I used to know.”

“Most people say I am an improvement,” he said bitterly.

Shockwave tilted his helm to the side.  “Hm.  Maybe.”  The purple mech then scooted his chair closer to Starscream, who now was drawing back a little.  He was experiencing some distressed emotions for the first time, and he didn’t particularly like it.  “One last experiment, and then we will just do routine tests,” he said, almost sensing Starscream’s reluctance to continue.  Maybe even conceding that this had been the most stressful twenty minutes of his life.

Starscream sighed.

“I want you to slap me,” Shockwave said. 

Starscream wondered what it would be like to be a mech that just accepted that violence was a course of action like that.  He couldn’t understand it.

“I have no desire to do that,” he said.  “Even if you might deserve it.”

The optic danced merrily.  He reached down and lightly picked up Starscream’s left servo and placed it on the side of his helm, his own servo keeping it in place.  Starscream felt the warmth of the mech’s plating and could feel the subtle vibrations of the components whirring away beneath it, but he also felt the gentle pressure of the servo on top of his.  “I threatened your life for a measly experiment, Starscream.  I do deserve to be slapped.  Perhaps you could oblige me?”

Starscream frowned.  He didn’t understand the tone that accompanied Shockwave’s words, but for some reason it quickened the energon in his lines.  “I… can’t,” he said after a klik.  He couldn’t muster the desire or the ability to slap the mech in front of him.  Instead, it felt like he was being forced to caress the gunformer.  He felt his digits twitch.

The light-colored servo pulled back his servo from the helm.  “This might hurt,” he said in the only way of warning.

With some quick force, Shockwave pushed Starscream’s servo into the side of the purple mech’s helm, as if Starscream was slapping him with aide.

Starscream felt his vision go white and he whimpered in agony as a terrible, tingling sensation flowed from his servo all the way up his arm.  It hurt.

Shockwave didn’t release his servo but had pulled it down and was stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“So inadvertent damage against the insentient is permissible, but some inadvertent damage against something sentient is not.  Who came up with this program?” he said with derision.

Starscream felt strangely comforted by the stroke of the thumb.  It eased some of the painful tingling by giving himself something else to concentrate on. 

“Unfortunately, trying to find a loophole will likely hurt you more, and I didn’t enjoy that as much as I thought I would,” the purple mech said quietly.

Starscream lowered his optics.  “You… wanted to hurt me?”

Shockwave stopped rubbing his servo and stared at him for a few moments.  “I suppose… hurt isn’t quite the word I really meant,” he replied.  He stood and went to his console to type in a few more things into the console in silence.

Starscream pulled back his servo and rubbed it trying to ease the sensations still running up and down his left arm.  The seeker sat there staring off into the middle-distance, thinking about everything he had just learned about himself and feeling exhausted about the whole thing.

Eventually, Shockwave called Skywarp to come and collect his sullen trinemate, and Starscream only spared the yellow optic watching him carefully a short final glance over his shoulder.

 

Notes:

I have so many friends reading this going- REALLY? You're going ShockStar? REALLY? And honestly once I started going trine I considered just playing with the trine the whole fic and no ShockStar. But I'm choosing the best of both worlds- it'll be cute. You trust me, right? >.>

I promise there will be a lot more trine, I love these cute close birbs too much and they are fun to write.

And much love to my friend JustawayNinja for listening to me ramble on about this fic- kinda like a beta idea tester? I've got PLANS.

Thank you so much for your support, your comments and kudos mean the world to me <3

Chapter 7: Heavy and Unwanted

Both Skywarp and Thundercracker had pestered him about what had happened with Shockwave, and he told them the details dispassionately.  He explained what they had discovered that inadvertent damage to objects was okay, but not when it came to sentience.  He left out the part about his accident though, feeling emotionally and physically drained after the whole ordeal. 

Starscream wasn’t quite ready to have the conversation asking his trine as to why he hadn’t been fully informed about the nature of anything yet, given Shockwave was telling the truth.  Something told Starscream that the enigmatic purple mech had not been lying.

“Your wings are drooping,” Skywarp observed with a frown.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Starscream looked to his wings as if they had betrayed him.  “I’m really just tired, ‘Warp.  It’ll pass.”

Thundercracker sat next to him on the berth, pulling the tired seeker next to him in the crook of his arm.  Starscream felt a little bit of a blush flare up his neck at the sudden proximity to his attractive trinemate and could feel the blue seeker’s warm plating and whirring components deep within.  Thundercracker’s arm was draped around Starscream’s back, just below his wings.

“I’m proud of you,” he murmured, settling in to get comfortable with his trinemate.  “You’ve been through a lot, and you are trying to stay positive.  That is difficult.”

Starscream considered this for a moment and then leaned his cheek down so that it was resting on TC’s shoulder.  “I feel like I can only get through it because of you two,” he said.  He looked to Skywarp and held out his servos, inviting the third seeker into their pile of cuddling arms and wings.  He definitely didn’t need to be asked twice.

They lay there, talking quietly about nothing in particular, just enjoying each other’s company.  Starscream slipped into recharge quietly and drooped against Thundercracker’s frame.

“Do you want to talk to Shockwave, or should I?” TC whispered, his face dark.

“Or do we go straight to Megatron?”

“Not yet,” TC replied.  “Not until we know for sure.  Starscream is holding something back, and we can’t let him do that.  We need to find out what it is first.”

Skywarp chuckled lowly.  “He used to be so good at lying,” he said with a fond smile.

“Apparently, that was from practice,” TC said leaning down to kiss the forehead of his sleeping trinemate as he pet Skywarp’s helm in his lap.

---

Over the next couple of days, Starscream and his trine fell into a rhythm of sorts.  Starscream would wake and one of the other seekers would be out on some kind of duty, and the other one would be there, reading a data pad or watching something on their display with the volume turned down.  They would refuel and relax until the other trinemate appeared.  Then they would go to the flier training barracks where the other seekers, triple changers, and other flying types would run through drills with them.

Starscream watched from the sidelines with rapt attention, not only to the tactics but also to how Thundercracker led the drills.  It seemed he was pretty good at it, but it also seemed like the other fliers were giving him a lot of leeway.  Starscream had actually begun to notice when Thundercracker made a mistake in a command and began to take a datapad with him to write down notes.  He wasn’t sure he would ever show Thundercracker the notes, as he felt that it was not his place.  But it felt like it was going to overflow out of his processor if he didn’t try.

He threw the pad into subspace after training was done for the day.  Ramjet appeared beside him on the bench and threw an arm over his shoulder. 

“Ah, our little observer! What’d you think of my performance today?” Ramjet said boisterously.

Starscream smiled.  “Hmm, a tad slow today, don’t you think?  Your left leg was twisting and throwing you off balance.”

Ramjet paused and looked at Starscream with surprise.  “Yeah… I guess it was.  Twisted it on the last mission, still a little stiff.  You’re uh… smarter than you look,” Ramjet said slowly.  Starscream smiled a little broader.  They both heard the conspicuous noise of someone clearing their vocalizer.

Skywarp had affixed Ramjet with a frigid look, and the jet quickly removed his arm from Starscream’s shoulders.  Starscream couldn’t help but laugh a little but stood and gave Ramjet a gentle pat on the back.  “I think getting an alignment would help you,” he said, taking Skywarp’s proffered servo as he was led away.  Thundercracker turned and followed them out as well.

Ramjet watched them leave with a contemplative look on his faceplate.

---

To Starscream’s surprise, they didn’t go back to their quarters.  “We’re going to try refueling in the canteen,” Skywarp said.  “It’s… an experience.”  Starscream had begun to understand his trinemate’s humor that this meant to be on his guard.

They entered the canteen which had more mechs in it than Starscream had ever seen together in his short lifetime.  His optics were wide, watching mechs chatting, laughing, yelling, refueling, and carousing.  The sound in the room was almost deafening.

But when they were noticed, there was a ripple of silence that crashed over the mechs in the room, as they all turned to stare and get a good look at him.

He wanted to wince and pull back from the attention, but he swallowed the feeling and put on a light smile, throwing the crowd a small wave.  There were murmurs of surprise and a more than a few mechs waved back.  Some started to get up, making for the seeker when Skywarp jumped in front of them, shouting, “Alright, shows over; get back to your regularly scheduling fueling.  You will meet him eventually, so work on your first impressions. Because I can tell you, you all suck slag,” he said, earning raucous laughter from most of the mechs in the room.

Starscream was charmed all over again.

TC was smirking too, his smile reaching to his optics.  He took Starscream on a path around the outside of the tables to get to the back where the dispensers were.

Starscream almost walked right into two short mechs that matched each other.

“Heya, ‘Screamer,” one of them said, looking up through his red visor with a dumb grin.

Starscream was about to reply when Skywarp came rushing up behind him.  “Nope, nope, cassettes, get the frag away from my trinemate.”

“Hey frag off, ‘Warp-”

“Rumble, I swear to Primus, I’m going to stomp on you-“

“Wait, Skywarp,” Starscream said gently.  He put a servo on Skywarp’s arm to stop him from advancing.  “Rumble?” Starscream asked, looking at the little mech before him.

Rumble brightened.  “Yeah! It’s me, ‘Screamer.  You remember me?”

Starscream shook his head.  “No I don’t. But someone told me we went on a lot of missions together?”

Rumble extended his arm around so that his servo rested on the back of his neck.  “I mean yeah, we did.  There was the anaconda, the snow, the beach-“

“We get it,” Skywarp drawled.  “You’re an annoying little glitch that likes to hang on Starscream.”

This time Thundercracker intervened.  “Skywarp, cool off.”  The black and purple seeker bristled but relaxed his wings with a flick.

Rumble smirked but turned his attention to Starscream.  “Mind if we refuel with you?” he said sweetly.

“Absolutely not-“

“Sure,” Starscream said cutting off his Skywarp.

Starscream started walking again with the two cassettes flanking him on either side.

“So what do you think so far?” Rumble asked.  “Oh and that’s Frenzy by the way,” he said indicating his dark red and grey twin who grinned with flashing denta.

Starscream smiled at the other mech.  “What do I think of what?”

“The Decepticons!” Rumble replied, as if it were obvious.  “We haven’t had an outsider’s opinion in a long time.  Just curious what your impressions are,” he said with a grin.

Starscream felt a polite answer come into his processor and was about to say something along those lines.  But then he thought better of it.  “Honestly?  You all are pretty rude.”

Rumble, Frenzy, Skywarp and TC froze, and Starscream feared he had said too much.  But then Rumble and Frenzy burst into loud, squawking laughter, holding their stomachs and falling over with abandon.  Skywarp was laughing pretty hard too, and he could hear TC behind him trying to stifle a snicker. 

“Ru- Rude?” Rumble said, barely able to breathe out the word.  “Primus I suppose we are rude,” he said, wheezing. 

Starscream smiled, supposing that they were laughing with him, rather than at him.  Still.  Part of him wondered about these mechs he was allied with. 

Their mirth died down, and TC said he would go get them some energon.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could get it?” Starscream asked.  “I appreciate you all helping me, but I do need to learn how to do it myself.”

Skywarp slapped him on the back and pulled him into a hug.  “Our ‘Screamer is all grown up, going to get his own energon and everything!”

He called him ‘Screamer, now, huh?

Starscream felt himself squeezed and was now slightly annoyed at the teasing.  Even more frustrating was that he could no longer move.  It felt like the kind of situation that someone would just roll their shoulders to get the friendly mech off of them, but Starscream found that he could not.  He felt powerless and small.

He was reminded that this was probably because of his… program. 

“Skywarp, please get off of me,” he said gently.

Skywarp’s smile immediately dropped at the pleading note in Starscream’s voice.  “Oh, slag, sorry,” he said quietly.

Starscream tried to give his trinemate a smile, but found it was too much effort.  He turned and kept walking towards the energon dispenser, determined to try and figure it out for himself.  To his relief, his companions let him go by himself.

It didn’t look terribly complicated.  Still, he waited until another mech came up, pressed a button and cube appeared.  He pressed another button and gave a retinal scan to a lens near the buttons, and what he assumed was his allotted ration came out into the cube.  Starscream watched the mech take his cube and leave. 

Starscream then stepped up and performed the same actions, rather proud when his own ration came out into the cube.  He smiled, knowing that at least he knew how to feed himself now.

He was walking back over to his trine when he heard the bellowing roar of a mech nearby him.  He snapped his helm to see the mech tackle another one to the ground as they started to punch each other incessantly.  Pretty soon another mech had dogpiled on top, punching the mech below him.  Then there were others who were both encouraging more violence, and then others who were trying to drag mechs out of the rapidly growing chaos. 

A mech bumped into Starscream, and his energon cube went flying out of his servo and hit a mech on the cheek. 

Starscream sighed.

The mech was light and dark grey with two bladed wings on is back and a red visor.  His helm snapped to Starscream and stared for a long moment. Then he started advancing through the throng of fighting to get to the tri-colored seeker.  Starscream thought that yeah, he did look hostile, but it had been an accident and surely if he just explained what had happened-

A terribly loud noise echoed through the canteen.  It almost felt like it would have broken his audios if it had just been a little louder.

“Hey SLAG-cakes,” he heard Skywarp yelling into the surprised silence.  “That’s enough of that,” he yelled.  “Back to your energon or to your duties, don’t dawdle.”  The fighting stopped, and there were murmurs of complaint, but everyone obeyed.

Starscream noticed TC had a weapon on his back that was now powering down.  Maybe he had been a source of the loud noise?

Rumble appeared next to Starscream.  “Heya buddy, don’t think you want to stick around and see what Vortex wants to talk to you about.”

Starscream looked back to the mech who was looking conflicted about coming after Starscream and obeying the black seeker’s orders.  The seeker nodded and followed Rumble back to the safety of his trine.

“We’ll get you more energon,” TC said with a smile.

A feeling Starscream couldn’t quite identify the feeling coiled tightly around his spark.  It was heavy and unwanted.

Chapter 8: End Times

"I mean, there is no rush to get you on the duty roster, Star.  It's only been a decacycle since your accident."

"Skywarp, please.  Anything."

Skywarp regarded him suspiciously.  "Are you sure you're my trinemate? I could have sworn you were allergic to duty before," Skywarp muttered.  "Only one more adverse is me," he said with a chuckle.

Starscream tried not to let his frustration show.  "I just need to feel like I'm contributing.  You are all doing so much for me-"

"-and we are happy to do so-"

"-but I just need to have something small that makes me feel like I'm giving back."

Skywarp smiled indulgently.  "You know… it's impossibly sexy to know you are waiting back here for me when I get off shift," he said, allowing his tips of his digits to trace over his trinemate's forearm.  Starscream suppressed a shiver, trying to remain unaffected.  A sidelong glance from Skywarp told him he wasn't entirely successful.  "But… I understand the feeling of not feeling like you are helping enough.  Even though my warping ability is super fragging helpful, I could never keep up with you or even TC with contributing to the cause.  You two are… something else."  Skywarp looked a touch distracted then, lost in a thought or a memory.

He snapped out of it when a grin.  "So! Let's see what we can come up with, okay?"  

Starscream grinned back, nodding.  

"Shockwave gave a list of suggestions, but I don't know how serious he was being," Skywarp said, pulling out a data pad.  “Like… ‘janitor?’  He’s got to be joking.”  Then Skywarp started staring off into the distance with a serious look on his face.  “But if Shockwave is making a joke, then maybe we’re in the end times.”

Starscream rolled his optics.  “I don’t think he was joking,” he said with amusement.  “Cleaning would be something I could do as long as it wouldn’t damage anything.  It would probably make me slow, but very thorough.”

Skywarp gave him a look.  “You’re not going to be a janitor, Star.  First of all, I’m disturbed that you are even considering it.  Even Lieutenants aren’t janitors.  Second of all… I don’t think you realize how… erm. Messy? Decepticons are.”

“Are Autobots cleaner?” Starscream asked.

“Eh probably, if they aren’t too busy being morally superior and ruining our fun,” Skywarp replied picking up the datapad and scrolling through it. Starscream considered this for a moment, along with all of the other snippets he had been gathering about the Autobots and the Decepticons.  No one seemed to talk about their differences outright, and even the reasoning for the ongoing conflict was still murky to him.

“Let’s see: energon production, inventory management, conflict mediation officer- oh that would be a hoot, we haven’t had one of those in a couple of centuries.  Hmm, monitor duty, assistant laboratory technician… wait.  Wait, what?  Assistant? To whom?” Skywarp had tapped on the datapad and read through the paragraph and then growled.  “What the slag is he trying to pull, getting you to be his assistant?  I know what that is code for, so he can just frag off-”

Starscream didn’t understand what was upsetting Skywarp so much, but he knew that he was about to go on a tirade that would result in Starscream just vaguely agreeing and nodding along for more than a few kliks.  “What about monitor duty?  That is something you have to do sometimes, right?” 

Skywarp stopped ranting and gave Starscream a surprised look.  “Monitor duty is boring, Star.  I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, let alone my sweet trinemate.”

Starscream wasn’t sure he wanted to be called sweet, but he shrugged.  “Even if it’s boring, I’ll take it.  Seems like no one likes doing it, and it will help me learn more by observing.  And it’s… passive.”

Skywarp hummed thoughtfully and then commed Soundwave, asking if Starscream could be put on the roster.  In his clipped, odd speech pattern, it seemed Soundwave agreed and would add him to tomorrow’s duty schedule.

“That works perfectly actually,” Skywarp said, throwing the datapad into subspace.  “There’s going to be a raid tomorrow, so it’ll be good that you’re occupied.”

“A raid?  You mean a battle?” Starscream asked.

“I mean the Autobots likely won’t let us take the energon out of the goodness of their sparks,” Skywarp said with a laugh, and pulling Starscream close to him in what the black seeker had called “cuddling.” 

“Will… I be monitoring your battle?” Starscream asked, leaning into Skywarp and enjoying the closeness of his plating.  “I would like to know what is happening.”

Skywarp nodded.  “Likely yes.  Soundwave likes to record the battles as best he can to help with tactics.  And… this will be the first battle… without you.  So, he will want to see how things go.”

Starscream turned around and looked at his trinemate with concern.  “Will you be okay?  All of you?”

Skywarp’s faceplate softened.  “Yeah, Star, we’ll be fine.  We’ve done this hundreds of times, even without you.  It’s the Autobots who should be worried,” he said, his voice going a little dark.

Starscream nodded and planted a kiss on Skywarp’s cheek.  “Better be fine,” he said with a smirk. 

Skywarp gave him a dumb smile and laughed.

---

Monitor duty when there was a battle raging was harder than Starscream had thought it would be.

Soundwave had given him simple enough instructions.  Watch the reconnaissance feed as it came in from his cassettes, alert Soundwave if he saw any Autobots where they weren’t supposed to be.  The cassettes would also be reporting in, so Starscream was more like a second pair of optics. 

He quickly figured out though that he didn’t necessarily know the difference between an Autobot and a Decepticon yet, especially if he couldn’t see the insignias.  Luckily, it seemed Soundwave was being patient with him.

Or just being quiet about his frustration.  Soundwave was also hard to read.  What was it about all of the Decepticon officers being really inscrutable with their feelings?

He did manage to have a small win.  The Decepticon fliers he pretty much knew by heart, so when some new flying mechs appeared on the scene, he was the first to notice and give Soundwave a heads up.

“Megatron: Aerialbots are inbound.”

“As expected.  Thank you, Soundwave.”

“Correction: Thank Starscream,” Soundwave said, his visor flashing as he looked at the seeker at the console.

“…Interesting.”

Starscream for some reason wasn’t sure that was a compliment, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to get singled out.  But he just swallowed thickly and went back to watching the monitors.

He was tense.  Because he wasn’t controlling where the feed was looking, he felt himself hoping that the feed would move so that he could see Thundercracker and Skywarp, or really any of the Decepticons he had started to get to know.  He had to admit that he was very concerned about the mechs.

It was also starting to dawn on him how dangerous the Autobots were. 

As time went on, finally Blitzwing commed that he had managed to get most of the energon that they were looking for, and so the seekers were able to cover his retreat.  Slowly the battle wound down as the Autobots realized they had lost this time and made overtures to leave the battlefield. 

Starscream heard someone clear their vocalizer next to him.  He looked up and saw Vortex looking down at him with something that might have been a glower.  Starscream couldn’t exactly tell because this mech had a visor and a facemask.  Still, he didn’t exactly look thrilled.

“Erm, hello?” Starscream said with wide optics. 

“Starscream: Monitor duty shift is over,” Soundwave called as an explanation.  “Starscream: Dismissed.”

Starscream nodded quickly and stood from the chair.  He went the opposite way around the chair and began to leave the control room without a second glance.

He figured he didn’t have long to wait until his trinemates returned.  He thought he might try the canteen again, since most mechs were likely on the raid, it should be quieter than usual.  He smiled, happy that his first duty shift had gone well.

He went around the corner and almost bumped into a mech he didn’t recognize.  “Oh, apologies,” he said to the light blue and white mech.

“That’s alright, Starscream.  I was actually looking for you,” the mech said.  He smiled and put a hand on Starscream’s shoulder.  “Megatron requested that you meet him at the elevator,” the mech said, pushing Starscream in the opposite direction of the canteen.

Starscream grimaced.  “Okay, that’s fine, but can you let go of my shoulder?  You’re gripping a little harder than is comfortable-”

“Oh, apologies,” the mech said, pulling out a blaster from subspace.  He squeezed the shoulder tighter and put the blaster to Starscream’s neck.  “The faster you move, the more comfortable you’ll be,” the mech said quietly.

Starscream knit his optic-ridges in confusion until he saw the insignia on the mech.  It was the red Autobot symbol.

“Ah,” the seeker said, glaring.  “Very well then,” he added.  He slowly turned and started walking.

They walked in silence, but Starscream’s processor was reeling.  He knew he could not release himself from the mech, and the blaster at his neck also made him feel compliant.  It was odd that he wasn’t really afraid for his life, but more about… causing damage.

He felt his faceplate heat with embarrassment.  He was just watching his trine and new friends fight a battle and here he was being marched off his own base by an Autobot.  Easily.  No resistance.

Why were they putting so much effort into him, anyway?  He was worthless.

He heard his Autobot captor mutter “slag” under his breath and suddenly the hand on his shoulder and the blaster disappeared from view.  Starscream was bewildered and went to move and turn around, but found he was still unable to do so as he was still being held.  “Get him to go away,” the mech said as he squeezed Starscream’s shoulder tigher.  Was he... invisible?

Without much time to understand what was happening, Starscream looked up and saw Shockwave coming towards him in the hallway.  The elevator was within sight behind him.

“Starscream,” the purple mech said with a touch of surprise.  “Going somewhere?”

Starscream looked up at Shockwave’s single optic and tried to will him to understand what was happening.  “I was going up to meet my trine as they came back in,” he said, managing to keep his vocalizer calm.

Shockwave looked down at the seeker with his optic, looking over his face as if trying to divine something.

“Are you alright?”

Starscream swallowed thickly.  “Of course.  I just had… monitor duty.  It was a lot more violent than I expected,” he replied.

“You had a strange reaction when you saw me, though,” the mech observed still watching Starscream carefully.  Starscream almost thought he was radiating concern.

Starscream felt the blaster dig into his neck with more force.  Starscream threw Shockwave a withering look.  “Forgive me, Shockwave, but the last time we met you held a gun to my neck,” he said pointing to the right side of his neck for emphasis. 

He hoped Shockwave would get the hint.

“I see,” Shockwave said, with disappointment.

It seemed he didn’t.  Starscream bit the inside of his cheek.

“I’ll just… be going then,” Starscream said feeling the mech behind him push a little in encouragement.  He gave one last look to Shockwave, hoping that the mech interpreted it as pleading.

Starscream was about five steps from the elevator, when Shockwave said something else.  “I held the gun to the other side of your neck,” he said pulling up his gun arm.

In a flash, Starscream felt himself pushed roughly against the elevator, his forehead smacking against the door.  The pressure on his shoulder and the blaster disappeared, but he heard some blaster fire happen behind him.  Starscream sank to his knees, reaching his servo up to his forehead to try and assuage the pain blooming there.  There was a little bit of energon dripping down from the wound and onto his nose.

Suddenly, the door to the elevator opened and he was being ushered in with a rough push.  He turned to see Shockwave running towards the door with his gun arm out.  The mech had taken some fire as his side and legs were sparking.

Starscream was about to scramble back out the door, his servo reaching out for Shockwave.  But then the door slammed shut and he felt the elevator start to move upward.

The Auotbot was tore out the control panel of the elevator and was undoing some wires and connectors.  Suddenly, an alarm started blaring and the elevator stopped.  But whatever the Autobot was doing seemed to make it so that the elevator had power again and it continued its ascent.

“You know, this isn’t personal,” the mech said, lifting up his blaster to shoot out a camera at the top near the ceiling.  He looked down at Starscream with a smile.  “I know you aren’t the same Starscream anymore.  This is just business.”

Starscream glared hatefully as he held his servo against his forehead wound.  “That makes me feel so much better,” he rasped.

The Autobot smirked and stared up at the ceiling in silence until the elevator stuttered to a stop.  He reached down and pulled Starscream to his pedes and kept a firm servo on his upper arm.  Starscream clenched his jaw without comment.

The door opened and the Autobot was rushing out, pulling him down a set of stairs that wrapped around the elevator tower to a small watercraft that waited at the bottom.  He threw Starscream in, holding on to his shoulder so that he couldn’t move. He then activated the engine, and they zipped away from the Decepticon base.

Chapter 9: Not Always Terrible

Notes:

Double update in a WEEK because I wrote them at the same time and you all are so worried about him lol <3

Starscream realized this was the first time he was out of the base and was quite overwhelmed by what he saw.

It was mid-afternoon, judging by the declination of the yellow star in the blue sky.  It was giving off quite a bit of heat and radiation, but not dangerous to his plating or systems; he actually thought it quite a pleasant warming sensation.  He had noticed the underwater base where he had been was often cold, hence why he welcomed Skywarp’s or TC’s affections.

As far as he could see there was dark blue water in a slightly choppy ocean.  His optics danced from an organic creature with wings, to the giant formations of clouds above, to other things that his internal lexicon couldn’t quite categorize.

There was so much to see, he knew his optics must be wide.

The Autobot watched him with slight amusement.  “They haven’t let you out of the Victory yet?”

Starscream slid his optics back to the Autobot to his side, the servo still firmly on his shoulder.  “I suppose because they thought it might be too dangerous for me.”

The Autobot gave a haughty laugh and turned their watercraft towards the East without further comment.

They eventually approached a small landmass; it was a slip of an island, maybe little more than a sandbar.  The water was beautifully turquoise as it became shallower, and the island had some spindly looking organic growths.  The watercraft came up onto the beach and the mech jumped out to pull the craft up.  He then looked thoughtfully at Starscream.  “Are you able to fly?  I can disable your wings if I have to.”

Starscream frowned as he sat in the craft.  “I’m sure I could figure it out if I had to, but I have no intention of antagonizing you,” he replied, watching the Autobot carefully.  He probably should be more afraid, but he was honestly just irritated.

The mech reached out a servo, offering to help him out of the craft.  Starscream regarded it and sighed, then took it.  “Some of my compatriots lack basic manners, but I assure you, you will be well-treated in my care,” he said, affecting some kind of noble accent.

Starscream rolled his optics.  “What, like kidnapping?  My forehead wound?”

The mech smiled as if he, too, saw the irony, but didn’t comment.

He grabbed Starscream’s shoulder again, which was beginning to ache from this mech’s handling.  He was pushed into the middle of some undergrowth, and then the mech pushed him down so that he was forced to sit.

Starscream looked up at his captor.  “Is there a point to all this?” he asked, reaching up a servo to massage his shoulder. 

The mech smirked.  “Of course there is,” he said.  “Whether I share it with you, well, I’m not sure I will just yet.”

Starscream narrowed his optics.  “Why did you kidnap me?  You are clearly aware of my… condition,” he said swallowing.  He felt so weak at this moment, it almost hurt.  “I don’t have any valuable information for you.”

The Autobot leaned back against a tree.  “Yes, that is unfortunate,” he said.  “You always used to be good for some kind of tidbit, but I imagine they don’t really let you in on the good intel anymore, do they, ‘Screamer?”

The mech’s evasive answers gnawed at him.  Starscream sighed and just looked away, done dealing with this annoying Autobot.  His anxiety had started to increase as he still didn’t know what the mech wanted, and he was far away from anyone who actually cared about him.  He knew his trine was going to be furious when they got back to the base, and he worried for them, that they might do something rash.

He hoped Shockwave was okay. 

They both heard the noise of someone coming through the underbrush.  The Autobot turned his helm over his shoulder, pulling out his blaster, but then smiled and put it away.  “It’s about time you showed up,” he said.

“What is it that you found that couldn’t possibly have waited-”

A black and white Autobot with a blue visor stared at Starscream, open-mouthed. 

“Now, just hear me out-”

“What have you done?” the new mech said.  “What in Primus’s name possessed you to kidnap Starscream?”  The new mech was angry now.

“Jazz, listen, I have a plan.  It’s a good one.”

Jazz looked over at Starscream and took a labored breath in.  “Are you alright?” he asked, more gently, coming over to kneel beside the seeker. He clearly saw the wound on his forehead and visibly slumped, looking both furious and worried at the same time.  He unsubspaced a medical kit and began rummaging around inside it.  Starscream was too surprised to answer.

“Starscream, are you alright?” Jazz asked again, gently putting a thumb under the seeker’s chin and turning him, checking for more damage.

“Yes,” Starscream said, flicking a glare at the other Autobot.

Jazz found a nanite patch in the medical kit.  He pulled out a sterile cloth and showed it to Starscream indicating that he was going to try and clean his wound on his forehead.  Starscream leaned forward so that the mech wouldn’t have to reach as far.  Jazz cleaned it in stony silence, then applied the nanite patch.

“You have one klik to explain to me why you did this,” Jazz said through clenched denta.

The other mech nodded quickly.  “My plan: We take him back to the base.  The ‘bots that are all causing so much trouble talking about a new faction will see that he is okay and will rally around taking care of him.  It’s happening at the Decepticon base.  They’re being… nice… to him,” the mech said in such a way that he was surprised at his own words.  “We can even erase his memory so that he thinks he’s an Autobot if we have to.”

Starscream tensed and his optics went wide.  Why… why would they do that?  He’d forget his trine?  Everyone at the base?  His life and memories had been small so far, but they were still his.

Jazz noticed his fear and sighed.  “Mirage.  Do you not understand how you just made everything worse?  Honestly, mech.”

Mirage shook his head.  “No, Jazz, listen.  You didn’t do anything wrong!  They have no right to say those things about you and demand you leave the Autobots.  If all this trouble is for this damned seeker, then we can just give him to them-”

“Mirage, seriously, what the frag is wrong with you?!” Jazz said, standing.  “Just ‘give him to them?’ Like he’s some kind of toy?”

Mirage scowled.  “Fine. How about how about we talk how he’ll be much better off with the Autobots?  The Decepticons aren’t treating him right, Jazz.  They haven’t let him out of the Victory or even go flying since his accident.  Just holed up with his trine in their quarters.  Do you honestly feel safe just walking around the base?” he asked, looking at Starscream.

Starscream felt a coiled fury at how the mech was talking about his life, but for some reason he couldn’t summon the anger he wanted to yell at the mech.  Already his anger was relaxing and abating to a light simmer.  “I felt safe until you held a gun to my neck,” he spat.

Jazz rounded on Mirage.  “You threatened him with a weapon?! I… I don’t even know you anymore,” the mech said with fury. 

“Oh, come on, you said that Shockwave threatened you with a gun too?!” he said with a frown at Starscream.  “Jazz, listen, we can still use this to our advantage-“

“This, Mirage?  This?!  This is a mech.  A Cybertronian.  Unable to fight you.  You took him from his family and are now trying to use him to make up for my mistakes.  You’re so far from being righteous here, Mirage, I can’t even look at you,” he said with disgust.  He turned around and held out a servo to Starscream.

“I’m returning you, immediately.  This is such slag, I’m so sorry,” Jazz said with obvious regret.  Starscream was taken with the sincerity in his voice.  Starscream took the servo, though his own was shaking slightly.

“Jazz, you can’t, he heard us talking,” Mirage said through tight lips.

Jazz turned to Mirage.  “That is your fault.  Report back to the base.  I don’t want to see you or hear you until after I have talked to Optimus.”

“Jazz… I… I was trying to help.”

Jazz looked at his fellow Autobot with pity.  “The path to the Pit, Mirage, is paved with good intentions.”

It seemed reality had finally caught up the blue and white mech.  His mouth went slightly slack and his shoulders slumped.  With a twist, he was leaving, heading in the presumed direction of said base.

Jazz stood there looking at the sandy ground for a moment, his lips in a tight line.  “Starscream.  I… don’t know what to say here.  This should not have happened.”

The seeker said nothing, just stared at the Autobot with a steely look.

“This was not a good first impression of Autobots, I think,” Jazz continued, lifting up his helm to look at him through his visor.

Starscream found his voice then.  “Neither was the battle earlier where you all were shooting at my trine.”

Jazz looked like he was about to reply but then stopped himself, slowly nodding.  “You’re right.”  Jazz then gave him another searching look.  “Are they treating you well?  Do you want to go back to the Decepticons?”

Starscream felt some fear stab his spark.  These Autobots did seem to have a problem with being morally righteous, like Skywarp had mentioned.  If Jazz wanted to, he could just decide that Starscream would be better off with the Autobots… Like Mirage had suggested.

He might never see his trine again.

“They are treating me fine,” he said, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.  “I don’t know why this is so hard to accept for you.”

“They are not good mechs, Starscream, you don’t know what they’ve done-”

“It seems then you all are a lot more similar than you think.”

Jazz sighed.  “Still.  I wanted to ask if there was anything I could do to help you.  But if you want to return to them, I will take you.  Again, this whole thing should not have happened and I’m sorry.”

Starscream watched the mech carefully and swallowed.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong.  Wasn’t really a big fan of this little jaunt into the new world, but… no real harm done,” he said with a shrug.

“That’s… more than nice of you.  But that’s not what I meant.”

Starscream was confused and tilted his helm slightly at the mech.  “I don’t-” But then he did understand.  He remembered Shockwave’s words, and he put the pieces together.  “You… are the one that did this to me,” he said quietly.

Jazz sighed.  “I am.  I’ve regretted it every moment since.”

Starscream wasn’t sure what to make of this development.  Shockwave had told him as much, though he had said the word mechs, but that wasn’t important.  He had imagined a dark, obviously evil Autobot hurting him and inflicting this program that made his life difficult.  He hadn’t really expected a contrite Autobot to be practically wringing his servos in guilt.

Things… weren’t nearly as clear-cut as he thought.

Starscream looked over the mech.  The weight of his actions was clearly affecting him.  He did not seem well; the black and white Autobot was tense, exhausted, and gave off an acrid feeling of self-loathing.  He sighed.  “I can’t really tell you that I’m fine.  I think I am, but then something like this happens,” he said waving an arm around in the air, “and I’m reminded of how I can’t really function… normally.  Apparently, I’d rather my trinemates get punished than mark a wall with a blaster,” he said frowning.

Jazz seemed to sag a little at these words.

“But,” Starscream continued.  “Apparently I’m in a much better place with my trine now.  I’ve been told I’m more tolerable.  And I’m not completely useless like I was beginning to think.”  He shrugged.  “So, I guess… learn how to forgive yourself and then maybe we can talk more.”

Jazz looked so confused, Starscream was afraid that he had accidentally been speaking a different language.  The mech put his hands on his hips and turned away, looking like he was heavily weighing Starscream’s words.

Jazz then looked up at the seeker, his lips in a tight line.  “You don’t understand what you lost.  What I took from you,” he said, his vocalizer sounding pained. 

Starscream smiled.  “You’re right.  I don’t.  I don’t know if I’ll ever truly know or understand.  But I’m trying to tell you: it doesn’t really matter.  This is my life now, and… it’s not always terrible.”

Jazz snorted, looking up at the sky.  “I could use some ‘not always terrible’ myself.”

Starscream waited patiently as the mech thought through their conversation.  Eventually he came to some kind of conclusion and nodded.  “Alright, let’s get you back to the Decepticons.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll shoot you, just so you know,” Starscream said.

Jazz met Starscream’s optics.  “They can try, mech,” he said with a bright smile and indicated that Starscream should lead the way back to the beach.  Mirage had not taken the watercraft, so Jazz was able to push it back into the water to transport them back. 

---

It was late afternoon now, and the sky had started to take on a dazzling array of colors.  Starscream was impressed with this planet’s ability to be somewhat pretty.

When they arrived, his trinemates were waiting atop the elevator, and nearly squawked in indignation when they recognized the Autobot.

“Jazz, you have some nerve,” Thundercracker yelled angrily, aiming his null-ray at the Autobot.

Starscream jumped into the water and started swimming towards the base, not giving the Autobot another chance to change his mind about whether to “rescue” him or not. 

“Goodluck, ‘Screamer!” Jazz called as he quickly whipped the craft around and started going as fast as he could in the opposite direction.

Skywarp looked conflicted about chasing after the Autobot but flew down to Starscream instead.  He held out a servo and Starscream eagerly took it, not really liking the feeling of saltwater on his frame.  He pulled Starscream, now miserably wet, into the air and against his chassis, using his thrusters to gently glide over to the mast elevator that connected to the Victory.

Thundercracker called out the Coneheads to chase after Jazz and their jets screamed across the sky after the Autobot.

Skywarp gently touched down on the elevator tower platform, squeezing Starscream in a crushing embrace.  TC also jumped down to join them, gently running his digits over Starscream’s forehead.  Both Thundercracker and Skywarp looked grim as they looked Starscream over, and he had to admit that he didn’t mind the attention.  It seemed like they couldn’t stop touching him, their servos were worried and comforting.

He exvented the air he didn’t realize he was holding and just leaned into their touches.  He heard them murmuring things into his audials but didn’t register what they were saying.

“Are you alright?” Thundercracker finally said with the stern authority of an Air Commander.

Starscream nodded, meeting his optics.  “Yes,” he said as he felt relief wash over his trinemate’s frames.

Thundercracker nodded and also pulled him into an embrace.  “We failed you.  Again,” he said with a frown.  Starscream tried to shake his head in protest, but they held him firm.  Thundercracker pulled away and was clearly talking on a comm and filling in the other parties.

As the sun was setting, they got Starscream back into the elevator.

Notes:

Getting some of the long-term plot in here :3 Thank you again for all your comments, questions, and kudos, it makes the fic fun to write :)

Coming up next, more trine love, more cinnamon roll Starscream, and more of what's happening at the Autobots :)

Chapter 10: Not That I'm Complaining

“You’ve had quite the adventure today, didn’t you,” Megatron said in the dark throne room. 

Starscream knew that was technically a question, but more like a rhetorical one.  He held his glossa and resisted the urge to fidget under the scrutiny of the Decepticon leader.

“It seems your observation skills are still intact,” Megatron said.  “Tell me what you observed.”

Starscream swallowed, not really sure why he was so nervous.  “Mirage kidnapped me in an attempt to quell some kind of… disagreement that was happening with other Autobots.  He said the words ‘new faction’ and that somehow my presence would quell it.” 

Megatron’s optics blazed at this information but otherwise did not react. Starscream bit the inside of his cheek before continuing.  “He also suggested to Jazz that they wipe my memory and convince me that I was always an Autobot, that way the others would be assured of my welfare.”  Megatron snorted, but waved a servo telling him to continue.

“Mirage tried to suggest to Jazz that I had been mistreated, but Jazz was not pleased with Mirage’s actions and told him to leave before returning me to Decepticon care.”

Megatron considered all of this for a few more moments and then leaned forward.  “Did Jazz say anything to you?”

Starscream sighed and nodded.  “He apologized for being the one who caused my accident.”

He heard two surprised intakes from his trinemates that stood closer to the door.

Megatron watched him carefully.  “You must be confused as to why we didn’t tell you this ourselves.”  Starscream looked down, his glossa tracing over some of his denta in his mouth in thought.  “We thought that it might be easier for you to digest later on, though not everyone in command agreed,” he said giving a glance at Shockwave.  He stood off to the side, his optic watching Starscream carefully.  He looked like he had been patched up, but he was still favoring his left leg.

“Still.  It is clear we have to change how we handle your situation within the base.  We will be discussing what this means for you and you will be informed of our decision within a few solar-cycles.”

Starscream felt his spark sink, but he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Skywarp, take him to the medbay.  Thundercracker, you will join this discussion despite your biases.”

Skywarp and Starscream turned and left together. Thundercracker watched them leave with a worried look.

---

Starscream was extremely quiet.  It bothered Skywarp.

The old Starscream was hardly quiet.  He was loud, screechy, full of cruel laughs.  When he was quiet, something was bothering him or he was unconscious.  The new Starscream was definitely quieter than his previous incarnation, as he tended to be watching and waiting to figure out how to interact.  He was cautious, but also unafraid.

Skywarp was worried that he was learning he had things to fear.

The seeker had allowed the ministrations from the Constructicons with a hardened jaw as they scanned him and tutted over Jazz’s quick patch of his forehead.  Still, finding nothing wrong with him other than a tightly held field and maybe a tense frame they had released him.

Skywarp decided to let them walk back to quarters rather than warp.

A few mechs stopped them in the corridor to say how glad they were that Starscream was okay, telling Skywarp they would do anything to help him in the future.  His tri-colored trinemate still said nothing, merely nodding in thanks.

Skywarp was worried.

They finally reached their quarters and there Skywarp expected Star to break, to fall into his arms, to react in some way other than this frightening stoicism.

Still, Starscream was quiet.

“Star…?” Skywarp said, reaching out.

Starscream whipped around, pulling away from Skywarp with wide optics.  His ventilations were ragged, and his optics were welling with cleaning fluid. 

Skywarp felt his spark break as his servo fell down at his side.

Starscream softened and took a deep ventilation.  “I don’t want to be touched right now.”

Skywarp nodded though inwardly despaired.  Touch was the best way the black seeker knew how to comfort, and he desperately wanted to hold his hurting trinemate; if anything to confirm that Starscream was there and was alright.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” the black seeker said, wincing.  He was terrible at this kind of thing, and wished that TC were there to jump in.  He wasn’t exactly an Autobot.

Starscream was clearly conflicted.  The seeker still hadn’t figured out how to hide his emotions in his wings or on his faceplate.  “I feel so… worthless, Skywarp.”

The black seeker sat down at their little table.  “You’re not worthless, Star,” he said, feeling like he had already had this conversation with Starscream.  He tried not to let his exasperation show though because Starscream looked so… low. 

Starscream sat at the edge of the berth, looking down.  “All he had to do was hold my shoulder,” Starscream said.  “And I was powerless.”

Skywarp felt a lot worse all of a sudden. 

“Star-”

Starscream shook his helm.  “Hey, I’m just going to- I just want to be alone for a bit,” Starscream said, standing.  He kind of looked at Skywarp oddly, as if asking for permission, because he’d barely been alone since his new life started.  But he scowled a little as if recognizing this was silly, and he walked into his room.

Skywarp flinched as he heard the gentle click of the door closing as if Starscream had slammed it shut instead.

---

Shutting Skywarp out like that was unfair.  He regretted it immediately and almost walked back through the door to apologize.  But his servo hovered overed the panel and ultimately did not reopen it.   

Starscream turned and looked around the room that had belonged to the old him.  He hadn’t really been in here since this all started, not really finding a reason to be.  He hadn’t cared.

“You know, this isn’t personal.  I know you aren’t the same Starscream anymore.  This is just business.”

“You always used to be good for some kind of tidbit, but I imagine they don’t really let you in on the good intel anymore, do they, ‘Screamer?”

“They are not good mechs, Starscream, you don’t know what they’ve done-”

“You don’t understand what you lost.  What I took from you-“

He leaned his helm back against the door. The words of the Autobots who both wanted to spare him torment but at the same time torment him rolled over his processor.  What was he supposed to do with all of this information? 

Was he supposed to try and become this “Starscream” again?  It seemed that in some ways, as much as everyone said they liked him more now, it was always in context of him.  He could fight, he was brilliant, he was cruel, capricious, intolerable, arrogant- all the things that the new Starscream either wasn’t or could never become.  He couldn’t help but feel in some ways, the old Starscream was preferred because he wasn’t a burden.

And now he was left with the choices that his former self had made.  No real friends other than a broken trine and whatever he and Megatron had been.  Mechs legitimately hated him and had wanted to hurt him.  He was involved with a faction in a civil war that was potentially… bad?  He’d apparently been traitorous as well, given what Mirage had hinted at.

Starscream sighed.  He decided to snoop around his own room.  He got the sense his former self would likely be angry at the intrusion, but the new Starscream relished in that thought.  Just a little.

First was the desk. It was marred by scrapes, burns, gouges and it was clearly a place that the seeker had used frequently.  There were a few datapads on the table, but they were heavily encrypted.  Starscream added “paranoid” to the list of traits his former self was quickly earning in his mind.

The drawers were full of junk from circuits, to wires, tools, rocks, and other components.  “Hoarder” also appeared in his mind.  He looked on the shelves, the pads of his digits touching over the datapads, rocks, old inventions carefully as if they might bring back the associated memories.

One thing caught his optic as it looked as if there was an attempt to hide it.  It was a cube of some kind, about the size of his servo, but it was covered by a datapad leaning against the wall.  Starscream gently removed the datapad and held the cube for closer inspection.

The cube had seen better days.  It was cracked and the resin crystal was turning a murky yellow, obscuring an image inside.  He realized then it was a holocube.  He looked closer.

Two mechs with wings were looking off to the side of the image, lightly smiling.  Starscream noticed that they seemed to match each other’s colors in their detailing: reds, blues, whites, and greys.  The smaller red and white one was perched on the shoulder of the bigger white one, who was gently holding the sky-blue pede to steady him-

Starscream realized suddenly that the mech was him.  The smaller mech on the shoulder was Starscream.  He pulled the cube closer.  The two mechs genuinely seemed to be enjoying each other’s company.  All those traits that he had been adding to the inventory for the old Starscream… none of them were present in this image.

Clearly… not everyone had known him like they thought they had.

He studied the other mech.  Clearly larger, he had a kind faceplate with cyan blue optics.

Starscream pulled the cube close to his chassis.  He wondered if this mech was still alive so that he could talk to him.  There were no insignias on his wings or any kind of markings on the shuttle.  It was likely from a very, very long time ago. 

He smiled slightly. 

There was a ping at his front door that led into the corridor.  He almost jumped but managed to collect himself and replaced the cube in it’s hiding spot on the shelf.  His former self had seen fit to hide this, so he decided to do the same.

He then went to the door, palming the access panel and was greeted by the looming presence of a purple mech.

“Shockwave,” Starscream said, gently exventing.  “I… am not-”

Shockwave brushed past Starscream and entered his room looking around.  “This is not what I expected of your berthroom,” he said.

Starscream was annoyed.  “Really? What did you expect?” he said.  He had tried to make it more… angry.  But it came out petulant.

“I expected it to be more… ostentatious.” Shockwave turned and affixed him with his curious optic. 

Starscream folded his arms and arched an optic-ridge.  “Why would you think that?” 

“You always appreciated the finer things in life,” Shockwave replied, his voice amused.  “You were always trying to add ridiculous things to materials needed from Cybertron like Vosian wing polish and expensive paint sealants.  Things that you didn’t even necessarily use on yourself, but just wanted to have.”

Starscream tiled his helm a little.  “It seems you observed me a lot before my accident.”

Shockwave actually froze slightly, before relaxing.  His optic dimmed slightly.  “More so afterwards, I assure you.”

Starscream felt heat rising up his neck, and quickly cleared his vocalizer.  “I don’t mean to be rude but-”

“Yes you do,” the purple mech replied, his optic dancing a little.  “I just burst into your room without permission.  Of course you’d want to be rude.”

Starscream’s mouth moved to try and form words but couldn’t quite find the right ones.  He was just tired now.  “Why are you here?” he finally said with a sigh.

“To apologize,” Shockwave said.  “I apologize for not stopping the Autobot from taking you.  It should have been within my ability.”

Starscream felt some of his annoyance ebb.  “I… suppose it should have been within my ability to get away on my own as well,” he replied.  “But here we are.  I appreciate that you tried.”

Shockwave just watched Starscream for a little longer and then nodded.  He then turned and left out the door.

Starscream was surprised at the abruptness of the strange interaction, but eventually just shook his helm and smiled. 

---

It had been some time before the door to Starscream’s room opened again.  Skywarp tried to pretend he hadn’t been staring at it woefully during this entire time and moved to pick up a datapad beside him on the berth that had some kind of notes about their training exercises.  But… it was upside down.  He silently cursed, slowly righting it and raising his optics to look at Starscream.

His trinemate looked better.  He was watching Skywarp with a hint of amusement.

Skywarp nodded at Starscream, “Heya, how’s it going- oh?”

Starscream had quickly walked over to the berth and was now crawling on all-fours, right into Skywarp’s lap.  He gently took the datapad out of Skywarp’s servos and gently put it down on the berth beside them.  Starscream then turned to Skywarp and with a smirk kissed his trinemate on the lips.

Skywarp’s optics shot wide open, his servos hovering in the air for a moment before wrapping himself around Starscream and pulling him closer.  The red and white seeker moved his lips down Skywarp’s jaw and to his neck cables where he kissed and lightly sucked, smiling to the rumbling of Skywarp’s engine in response.

“Star- not- not that I’m complaining-” Skywarp attempted.

“Then don’t,” he heard Starscream mumble into his neck as he continued to give Skywarp his undivided attention.  “This is my apology,” he said, nuzzling his nose into the black seeker’s neck and letting his warm ventilations linger there for a moment.

Skywarp nodded emphatically.  “Oh, apology definitely accepted,” he said breathlessly.  “Though you really don’t have to apologize-”  Starscream moved his mouth over top of his again and they kissed deeply as Skywarp gently put his servo around the back of Starscream’s neck to help guide him into his mouth and against his glossa.

Starscream’s ventilations were increasing slightly, which definitely made Skywarp’s fans turn on just a little more.  He moved his lips to the side just a little to say, “Star, we should maybe slow down.  I’m not going to be able to stop-”

“Don’t stop-” were the sweetest words Skywarp had heard in recent memory.

With a guttural noise, he gently pushed Starscream down to the berth and began kissing him feverishly.  The black seeker lay gently on top of him, and Starscream reached up to hold Skywarp’s helm in his servos to allow him leverage to explore deeper into his mouth.  Skywarp’s fans were running on high now, and a small moan escaped Starscream’s vocalizer. 

Skywarp’s optics were dimming, and Starscream turned his own off, enjoying the sensations his trinemate was offering him.

TC clearing his vocalizer could not have come at a worse time.

Skywarp made an exasperated noise of surrender and his helm just flopped down to hide in Starscream’s neck.  Starscream gave a confused look to Thundercracker. 

“This was not my fault,” Skywarp said into Starscream’s neck.  The red and white seeker smirked and kissed the black helm cradled against him.

Thundercracker sighed and crawled into the berth next to his trinemates.  “Well then.  Don’t let me stop you,” he said with a smirk.

Notes:

If you recognize the holocube, you may have been a reader of my friend @Grayseeker's Salvage. Said holocube was used with permission as kind of an Easter Egg :)

Chapter 11: Burden of Peace

Megatron was pretty sure he expected something very different from this call with Prime.

“Can you… repeat that?” the warlord said, shifting in the throne.

“It has come to my attention that you are mistreating Starscream, and we are demanding his release into our custody,” the Prime said with his full matrix voice.

Megatron looked to Soundwave with confusion, and the tape deck replied with a shrug.  Megatron then turned back to the display.  “This is the first I’m hearing of any mistreatment,” he said with curiosity.  “Didn’t Jazz tell you-”

“Jazz has been removed from command,” Prime said, short.  “As I said, we demand-”

“In what world,” Megatron said, snarling, “would I willingly give the Autobots my own soldier because they demanded it of me?  Especially after they were the cause of his disability?”

Prime straightened up in his chair.  “Starscream is not a solider nor a Decepticon.  I doubt he could even say the oath,” Prime spat.  “And we admit our part in his disability without qualms.  But keeping him cooped up in the Victory-”

Megatron started laughing.  Prime was clearly irritated by this reaction and huffed his vents. 

Megatron’s laughter died down and he turned a fanged grin to the display.  “Clearly you are under some… pressures from within your faction, Prime.  Or, you are being manipulated,” he said.  “It couldn’t have happened to a better leader, I assure you.” 

The Prime affixed Megatron with a cool stare.  “We will help Starscream; take him back if necessary.  You have our promise on that.”

“And you cared for him so much before?” 

Prime was about to retort, but Megatron waved a servo dismissively.  “I get the gist,” Megatron replied.  “But make no mistake: Starscream is mine, no matter what state he is in.  And I will not be giving him to you.  But you are free to try,” he said menacingly.

The Prime pointed a digit at the display. “Your faction and base are not the place for a mech in his condition.  We did not realize you would be so cruel, but I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised.”

Megatron narrowed his optics.  This sanctimonious slag was really getting old, and the more Prime talked the more it sounded like flagrant hypocrisy.  

“Tell your new faction that I’d love to talk to them,” he said with a dangerous smirk.

He indicated to Soundwave to cut the feed.

“Interesting development,” Megatron said.  “Seems they are even more unstable than we thought.”

“Laserbeak: Reports most complaints are from flightframes Powerglide, Aerialbots, and Skyfire.”

“Interesting,” Megatron said again.  “I wonder if he is trying to appease them or cut them off.  See what else we can find out.”  Soundwave nodded.

Megatron commed Thundercracker to meet him on the bridge and bring his pacified trinemate with him. 

Megatron stroked his chin in thought.  The loss of Starscream as a warrior had certainly been detrimental to his cause, and the loss of Starscream’s scientific and inventive contributions could not be ignored (though Megatron had tried).  But it appeared the troublesome seeker still had something to offer the Decepticons, even if it was simply throwing off the balance of the war.

The two seekers arrived.  Both bowed forward slightly; obedient, ready, willing.

Boring.

He sighed.  That was an errant thought and should be purged.

“It seems that the situation with the Autobots grows more troubling by the day,” he said frowning.  “Prime was not penitent as we expected and still thinks he is their property.”

Thundercracker looked incensed.  “The least they could do is promise to leave him out of our war,” the blue seeker said, glancing at his trinemate sadly.

Megatron also regarded the tri-colored seeker.  He looked troubled.

“He cannot be left alone and must be guarded at all times,” Megatron said his optics still trained on the red and white seeker.  “I will let you be in charge of whom you trust to be his guardian when you are not able.”

Starscream’s wings drooped.

“Is that not amendable to you?” Megatron said, irritably.

Starscream bowed his helm.  “My lord,” he said.  “I hate to be a burden-”

“You are just as much a burden now as you were before,” Megatron said, keeping most of the irritation out of his voice.  “Just now, it seems your pacification has… tilted things.  In our favor.  The Autobots are unsettled and it seems power is shifting there,” he said.

Starscream looked up at him with pained optics but nodded.

Megatron thought him strangely endearing.

“You are dismissed for now,” Megatron said.  “Starscream staying in Decepticon custody is of the utmost importance.”

Thundercracker and Starscream bowed again, and left, leaving Megatron and Soundwave alone in the dim room.

---

Ramjet was being particularly surly, and he knew it.

They were practicing hand-to-hand combat in their regularly scheduled training exercise.  Skywarp had started leading them through drills, which had only worsened Ramjet’s bad mood.  Where the frag was their actual Air Commander?  Skywarp couldn’t lead a seeker to the sky.

When he finally showed up, late, Ramjet had been about to give the distracted Skywarp a particularly bad reminder as to why you never take your attention off of the conehead, but then he saw… him.

Starscream.

The Elite Trine were discussing something, and the red and white seeker was just staring blankly ahead, clearly not listening to anything his trinemates were saying.  Ramjet wondered if he was still shaken after his kidnapping. He had to be.

“Air Commander?” he barked.  “We gonna keep going or what?”

Thundercracker gave him a glare, and then turned to Starscream giving him a pat on the shoulder.  The seeker nodded and went to sit down at his usual spot, his helm hanging just a little lower than usual.

“Apologies.  We had a summons from Megatron that could not be avoided,” the blue seeker said, his voice rumbling through the training room. 

Ramjet sneered.  “Then maybe you should have informed us that you were going to be late, that way we too could blow this training off.”

Thundercracker didn’t even bat an optic at the taunt.  “Fall into sparring partners,” he said, looking around the room to the other seekers.  “Ramjet, you’re with me,” he said, his optics hard.

The conehead glared but followed Thundercracker over a corner and assumed a fighting stance.

“You have a problem?” Thundercracker said, taking the first swipe, which Ramjet avoided with ease.

“Yeah, actually: why are you the Air Commander now?” Ramjet spun to do a high kick.  Thundercracker met it with his shoulder and braced arm, pushing the leg back with force.

Thundercracker lunged forward for a series of punches.  Ramjet blocked most of them.  “You don’t think I’m fit?”

Ramjet snarled as a well-placed punch dented his plating on his chest.  Ramjet turned to the side as another punch almost landed in the same spot.  The sudden disappearance of his target caused Thundercracker to be slightly off-balance.  This gave Ramjet the opportunity to land a hard punch to the abdomen, knocking the air out of the blue seeker.

“I don’t think your trine is fit anymore; do you?” he snapped.

Thundercracker surged forward, clipping his shoulder into Ramjet’s chest, knocking the conehead to the ground.  He was angry now and growled as he got up, pulling up his shoulder-mounted gun and aimed it right at Thundercracker’s spark chamber.

Thundercracker narrowed his optics but put up placating servos.  “You’re breaking the rules of the training, Ramjet.”

“Frag the rules, I’m challenging you for Command,” he said through clenched denta.

The entire training room went silent and all optics were on the pair.  Ramjet felt Dirge and Thrust come to him on the periphery to back him up.

Skywarp slid in behind Thundercracker, his plating ruffled, and his gaze angry.

Ramjet threw a glance to the sidelines where he saw Starscream had stood with clenched servos.  His face was contorted in concern, confusion, and maybe a touch of irritation.  It seemed to be self-directed.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be fair to challenge the full trine,” Ramjet said his optics moving from Starscream and settled on the blue seeker before him.  “I would just challenge you, solo then.”

Thundercracker threw his chin out.  “This is not the time for a challenge, Ramjet.  The Autobots just infiltrated our base and plan to increase their attacks in the coming months.”

“All the more reason we need a competent leader and a competent trine at the helm of the air command, hmm?”

Thundercracker looked the part of imperious Air Commander, but Ramjet could see the undercurrent of insecurity.  Starscream had weathered countless challenges from Ramjet and many other seekers under his command, and the whole trine had fended off a few challenges in their tenure at the top.  But Thundercracker had never done this alone.  Not without Starscream.

“I accept.  Tomorrow at dawn.”

“Acceptable,” Ramjet said, his faceplate glowering.

Skywarp and Thundercracker sneered in their best “old Starscream” impression and turned to speak to one-another.  Ramjet smirked and turned around and walked out of the training room, deciding that training must be over. 

To his surprise, Starscream was waiting for him in the corridor.

The seeker was still as gorgeous as the day Ramjet had met him, but he had lost all of the sharpness and cruelty that had defined him.  He looked pensive and worried, and Ramjet had to steel himself to keep his face hard.

“What?” he barked.

Starscream didn’t flinch like he had expected.  “Ramjet, why are you challenging Thundercracker?”

The conehead took a step towards Starscream, invading his space.  Starscream didn’t move but met his optics unwaveringly. 

“Did Thundercracker tell you to convince me to back down?”

“What? No-”

“He can’t use his wounded little trinemate to get out of this.  That’s a low tactic, and it isn’t going to work.”

“Ramjet, no, this is just me, me.  Not Thundercracker.  This is… my fault.  I’m just trying to understand.”

“Your fault?” Ramjet sneered.  “What’s there to understand?  You are weakened, and so his trine is weakened, and so we are all weakened.  He should never had accepted Megatron’s commendation.”

Starscream grimaced at the words as if they had been blows.  “Ramjet, I-” Starscream started, his helm falling forward a little.  “I’m not fully aware of the nature of the challenge, but I’m asking you to reconsider-”

“Why does it matter to you?  What do you care if he’s the Air Commander or not?  If he’s demoted, he’ll have more time to protect you.”

Starscream sighed.  “He’s trying so hard, Ramjet.  He wants to lead, and he has potential!  He’s so much calmer than you are and he doesn’t try to challenge every mech he sees.  You know this.  Please rescind-”

“Absolutely not,” Ramjet said, jamming a digit in Starscream’s chassis.  “Stay out of things that don’t concern you, little seeker.  This is how command works, and he should have been prepared for it.”

Starscream looked up with him with those red optics, full of sorrow.  It honestly made Ramjet’s intakes hitch, but he couldn’t admit that.  No.  No, he couldn’t-

“But… maybe you could convince me.” 

Ramjet hated himself.

Starscream had always been a smart mech.  He was still so fragging smart.  The red and white seeker’s optics were calculating the meaning behind what Ramjet had said, but he had to already know.  Ah, there was a look of incredulity mixed with disgust.  That was the look.  That is what he had been missing.

The old Starscream was still there, buried deep beneath this soft veneer of vulnerability.

“How about it, ‘Screamer?” Ramjet said, taking another step forward, and Starscream took a step back, close to the wall.  Ramjet hated himself for doing this.  But he felt out of control.  Ramjet’s servo came up and slammed into the wall right next to Starscream’s helm, and the conehead leaned forward, blocking the seeker in.  His obsession with Starscream had only increased since the accident, so much so now it was clouding all of his judgement. 

“How could you convince me to take back my challenge?”  His optics roved over the dark faceplate before him.  The thick bottom lip, the well-formed nose, the optics that stared back at him with a small amount of revulsion were all easing Ramjet’s roiled processor.  Starscream was there.  Starscream as he had known him wasn’t completely gone.

He… he couldn’t be gone.

But then the optics before him weakened, and it was with absolute fear that Ramjet realized that this Starscream was different, and that he would back down, he would… acquiesce…

“I’m not sure you actually want this,” Starscream said. 

Ramjet froze, his mouth twisted, his frame tense.  “How would you know?” he said quietly.

Starscream raised an optic-ridge.  “A hunch,” he said.  The seeker frowned.  “I can only ask that you give Thundercracker a little more time before you challenge him,” he said.  “If you won’t do it for him… I would ask that you do it… as a favor to me.”

Ramjet found himself again and pulled back from crowding Starscream up against the wall.  “Why would I do a favor for you?” he asked scornfully.

Starscream was watching him carefully, as if he were the one broken.  “I think you do want something from me, but you don’t know what it is yet.  And so, when you figure it out, I would owe you.”

So fragging smart.

Ramjet relaxed.

There was movement behind him as he heard Thundercracker and Skywarp run into the corridor, and he could feel their gaze quickly assessing the situation.  Skywarp quickly went to Starscream, talking lowly into his audial, to which Starscream replied by shaking his helm.

Ramjet turned to Thundercracker.  “I’ve decided to rescind my challenge,” he said.  “Cooler helms have convinced me, and I might have been too quick try and take you down a size,” he said, surprising himself with how genuine he sounded.

Thundercracker looked to Starscream with a searching look and then back to Ramjet.  “I… accept.  I look forward to proving my worthiness to lead to you.”

Acceptable.  If not boring.

Ramjet turned to walk back into the training area without sparing the weakened elite trine a second glance.

Chapter 12: A Complete Set of Servos

Notes:

Forgot to thank @TackyTacs for a read-through some much-needed assurances lol thank you! <3

“But what did you say ?” Skywarp asked as they walked down the corridor away from the training facility.  Starscream’s wings were taut, flicking occasionally as Skywarp pestered him.

“I just asked him to rescind his challenge.  I told him Thundercracker was doing his best-”

“Star, you can’t interfere in this kind of thing.  You might have made me lose face with him permanently,” Thundercracker scolded.

Starscream’s face fell.  “That… was not my intention.  I just wanted him to understand-”

“Again, not your place.  The official channels we have exist for a reason.  What if someone tries to get a favor from me by going through you?  And you can’t stop them.”

Something flickered in Starscream’s faceplate, but then his face took on a bland, neutral look.  “You’re right,” he said quietly.  “I apologize.”

“Do you understand?  Or are you just telling me what I want to hear?” pressed the blue seeker.  He was still so livid with his trinemate, he felt that nothing could placate him.  Skywarp and Thundercracker had been discussing the strategy to take down Ramjet in the challenge fight, and then both noticed that Starscream was gone.  Dirge and Thrust equally noticed that Ramjet was missing at the same time and all four had shared a look of fear and dread, as no one was sure what they would find.

Seeing Starscream up against the wall with Ramjet a few paces away had incited a fury in Thundercracker that threatened to overwhelm him.  But… he held it in.  He always did.  He wasn’t the angry one in their trine.

Or… maybe he was now.

The thought stilled him.  He exvented and gave Starscream a searching look.  “ Please Starscream.  This is… so new for all of us.  I need you to trust in my abilities.  Trust me that I can handle my job .”

The red and white seeker flinched but nodded with his optics cast down.

Skywarp gave TC a look, but the three of them continued back to their quarters in silence.  With a sigh, the black seeker gave his goodbyes as he had monitor duty, leaving Starscream and Thundercracker to their common room and to the joy of avoiding optic-contact.

Thundercracker went to his own quarters but didn’t close the door.  He pulled out a datapad to start going over names of mechs that he felt he could trust at the Decepticon base to help guard Starscream should he and Skywarp both be busy with duties. The list started out long and he began categorizing them into yes, only if desperate, and categorically no columns.  With a sigh he moved the entire conehead trine to the no column.

It was like sparkling-sitting.  And the thought pained him.

He leaned around the door to look into the common room looking for his trinemate.  Starscream was sitting at the table, slightly hunched over, looking at a datapad laying on the table.  His servos were holding up his forehead, his elbows on either side of the datapad.

Actually, it looked like he might not have been looking at the datapad at all but was just staring at nothing right next to the datapad.

Thundercracker felt very guilty then.

Starscream had made it seem so easy to be trineleader, Air Commander, and second-in-command of the army, not to mention constantly trying to overthrow Megatron or aid him with some kind of over-the-top scheme (if he felt so inclined).  Thundercracker realized he may have been underestimating his trinemate the whole time.

He might still be underestimating him.

Thundercracker sighed.

He picked up his datapad and walked back into the room, sitting down next to Starscream.  The other seeker startled at his sudden proximity, and quickly shut his datapad off, which wasn’t suspicious at all.  Starscream still didn’t meet his optics but also didn’t move to leave either.

“I wondered if you wanted to pick out who could help guard you?” Thundercracker asked.

Starscream met his optics then, and his face was full of surprise.  “I would like that.”

The blue seeker nodded and laid out the choices.  They talked while going over the list, and they slipped back into uneasy comfortability with each other, but not mentioning their argument earlier.  They were mostly in agreement about the yes list except when it came to two mechs.

“Shockwave is fine to put in the yes category.”

Thundercracker narrowed his optics.  “Eh, I don’t even know how much longer he’ll be around,” the blue seeker replied, choosing not to go into all of the other reasons why Shockwave was a bad idea.

“…where is he going?” Starscream asked, confused.

“Back to Cybertron.  That’s where he was based.  He only came back here at Megatron’s request after your accident.”

Starscream looked disappointed.  “Oh,” he said simply.

“…why?”

Starscream shrugged.  “I find him amusing,” he replied, with a tug of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

Thundercracker had to bite back an indignant noise and many, many follow-up questions, but he chose to pick his battles carefully, especially after their spat earlier.  “Okay… I’ll put him on the list for now.”

“Oh, and Ramjet is okay.”

Starscream had to be testing his patience.  “… care to explain why?  We literally found you two in a corridor and he looked like he was harassing you.”

Starscream sighed.  “He… was.  He just didn’t realize what he was doing, Thundercracker.”

“Starscream,” the blue seeker said.  “You’re being vague, likely because you know I won’t like what actually happened.  But…” Thundercracker said, sighing deeply, “I’m going to trust you.  If you think you understand Ramjet, I will trust your judgement.  It’s your call.”

Starscream’s face lit up, and Thundercracker was reminded of their younger years before everything had begun to fall apart.  “He’s… grieving, Thundercracker.  I think he’s realized that the mech I was is really dead.  While you and Skywarp seem… mostly happy with my change, there are others that are not as enthusiastic.  I just need time to win them over.”

Thundercracker was stunned to silence for a moment.  Ramjet was… grieving ?  Starscream was purposefully trying to win people over? 

Starscream was already laying schemes. 

Was this a good thing?  It seemed benign enough.  He wanted to win mechs over in order to get along with them more.  That would make his life and the lives of everyone around him easier.  Maybe “scheme” was too pejorative, maybe he was just… politicking.  But even if it was a bad thing, Thundercracker was realizing that there was very little he could do to stop Starscream bar locking him up and never letting anyone interact with him.

That thought made him feel worse.

“Okay, Ramjet and the coneheads will be asked, along with everyone else.  I’m sending a message to all of them, seeing if anyone is available to take tomorrow morning as Skywarp and I will be on a reconnaissance mission.”  He sent the message and then looked back to Starscream’s datapad.

“What were you looking at?” he said smiling.  He didn’t want Starscream to get any better at subterfuge.  At least, not yet.

The colorful seeker bit the inside of his cheek.  “Given our conversation earlier, I never intended to show you.  It was just a way to pass the time,” he said, reluctantly handing the datapad over to Thundercracker.

TC opened it and found it full of detailed notes about his training exercises with the air armada.  The notes were unflinching in their criticisms, paying close attention to where he had been inconsistent, inefficient, or just plain illogical. But they also doled out his praises in how he was managing certain mechs, playing to the strengths and weakness of the armada, and his ability to be flexible and eschew confidence to his subordinates.

He looked up and saw Starscream watching him worriedly.

“Star… these are really good ,” he said finally.  Yes, some of the words stung, but he was no stranger to Starscream’s bluntness.  Interesting that that was still around.  “How did you know I was doing things incorrectly?”

“I wrote down everything you said or did until I figured out the pattern," Star said.

TC sighed.  "Maybe… We should get you some basic strategy training programs.  You still seem to have a knack for it."

Starscream flushed with pleasure.  "Really?  I mean… thank you.  Yes, I would love that."

"Though it is interesting.  Your suggestions here all revolve around avoiding violence.  Did you mean to do that?"

Starscream paused.  "I mean, isn't that the best strategy?  Less violence, less repairs, and then less resources and time are wasted.  It is the most efficient way to win the war."

Thundercracker stilled.  "You think you can end the war?"

Starscream looked embarrassed.  "I… just think about it.  A lot. I know I don't understand everything and I'm not trying to minimize it.  But yes, it'd be great if the war ended peacefully, don't you think?"

His trinemate was so sincere, it almost pained Thundercracker.  The blue seeker had also once entertained similar thoughts.

That was before they killed Starscream.

"It would be nice.  Unlikely.  But nice."

Right as he finished speaking, he got a ping from Megatron requesting his presence for a meeting.  Thundercracker knew that Skywarp would not be available for another few hours so he quickly checked his messages for anyone that could help guard Starscream.

He almost groaned when only one mech had replied.

---

"One of us will come get you as soon as we are done," he said, putting his servo on his shoulder.

Starscream gave him an indulgent smile.  "I'll be fine," he said almost laughing. His trinemate nodded once to him and once to Shockwave and then turned and left quickly.

Shockwave had watched the seekers with thinly veiled curiosity.  They were so affectionate with each other now compared to before.  He wondered what had changed.

“Something wrong?” Starscream said with amusement.

“Not at all,” he said.  “But I am curious why I was chosen to be your guard.  Logic would dictate that you both choose someone else since I failed to protect you during the last attack.”

Starscream smiled warmly, which was an odd reaction.  The seeker strode further into the lab and sat himself down across the lab table from Shockwave.  “I’m not sure anyone could have done better than you in the situation, especially without injuring me,” he replied.  “Besides, you were the first to respond,” he said with an arc of the optic-ridge and his smile widening.

Shockwave considered this and determined that Starscream was indeed correct.  Why had he responded so quickly?  Was it in a way to further apologize to the seeker?

Hmm.  He might need to evaluate that for later.  Shockwave had generally figured out how to behave somewhat normally with other Cybertronians who allowed emotions to rule their processors, and so sometimes he did things that didn’t have an immediate reasoning as a result.    

The optic-ridge arc though indicated that Starscream was thinking something.  Possibly dangerous.

“How are you getting along with your trine?” he asked.  Changing the subject was usually a good way to indicate the current line of conversation was less than ideal.

Starscream’s smile faded a little.  “Things are likely better than they have ever been.  But I’m still trying to figure out how I fit in here.”

“You likely won’t fit in here,” Shockwave said.

Ah.  That was the wrong thing to say.  Starscream’s smile had slipped away completely and he was looking down at the table.  It might have been true, but it was possibly emotionally damaging. Shockwave sometimes had trouble determining which was a higher priority. 

Talking to others was often taxing.  But… he wanted to talk to Starscream.

“I apologize-” he started.

“No, please don’t,” Starscream said quietly.  “I… am coming to the same conclusion myself.”  The seeker looked up at Shockwave.  “It appears that a lot of what it means to be a Decepticon has to do with how well you can fight.”

“It is the culture, yes.  The highest ranked Decepticons are the ones who demonstrated prowess in battle.  But there are other ways to contribute, should you want to be a Decepticon at all.”

Starscream pulled back a little at that, his wings tensing.  “What do you mean?  Of course I want to be a Decepticon.”  Shockwave detected a small tremor to his voice. 

Shockwave folded his arms.  “I’m not doubting your commitment, Starscream,” he said quietly. 

“Besides, what choice do I have?  If I’m not a Decepticon, where would I go? ”

Shockwave detected the tremor in his voice again.  He sounded afraid.  “You could become an Autobot.  Logically, you would fit in there more.”

Starscream’s wings hiked up and his face was turned into a grimace.  “I can’t do that.”

Oh.  He had said the wrong thing. Again.

He was usually better at this.  Or maybe he usually didn’t care?

“I believe you,” Shockwave replied quickly.  “I have upset you.”

Starscream exvented.  “Shockwave,” he started, the tension bleeding out of his frame slowly.  “You have been the only one to really tell me the truth and not treat me like I’m… broken.  Even if it upsets me, it is information I need to hear.”  Despite his words, Starscream looked so unhappy, and Shockwave struggled to think of the words that might make the seeker more amiable, like he had been when he first walked in.

“Would you like to help me organize your lab?”

Starscream was confused.  “My lab?”

“Yes, this is your old lab.  I can’t seem to find any sound logic to your organization, but it would help to have another… well a complete set of servos,” he said lifting up his gun on his left arm.

Starscream snorted.

“Sure, I will help.”

They fell into a companionable rhythm, where they unloaded all of the cabinets and drawers of their contents.  They found a few vials of things that were mysteriously labelled, like “In case of Rust Plague,” “Secret Stash of Megatron’s Medicine,” and “For Shockwave.”  Starscream tried to give him said vial, and Shockwave took it with thanks before quietly throwing it into the incinerator.  

Starscream was a hard worker, and asked many questions.  Shockwave was only too happy to answer, pleased to have an eager student.

They were laughing when Skywarp appeared to collect Starscream after a fashion.  The black seeker looked disturbed, but thanked Shockwave for his help.  Starscream smiled and waved goodbye.

Shockwave might have been sorry to see him go.

Chapter 13: Eager for Sky

Notes:

Sorry for the long wait of an update- I have a few xmas xchange fics that took up some of my time (I think you all will like them even if they are gifts for other people) <3

Starscream’s optics brightened.  “Flying?” His wings twitched.  “Really?”

Skywarp grinned.  “Yes!  We are going to take you flying.  Permission from Megatron and everything.  We’re going to have guards watching us- it’s all arranged.”

Starscream’s faceplate had definitely lit up more.  “I’m so- why am I so excited?” He sounded slightly confused.

Thundercracker chuckled.  “You were made to fly, Star.  We should have done this earlier, but we needed to find a way to do it safely.”

“Was I… good at flying?” Starscream asked.  “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

Skywarp shrugged noncommittally.  “I mean… you were passable,” he said giving optics to Thundercracker who looked like he was going to contradict.  “But I mean, we don’t know what your frame will remember or won’t… so it’s fine.”

TC either didn’t get the hint or was deliberately ignoring him.  “Skywarp is being facetious; you were more than passable.  But he’s right, we won’t know for sure until we get you up there.  And even if you aren’t naturally good at flying, it is a skill that you can develop over time.”

Skywarp narrowed his optics at Thundercracker but nodded slowly.  “Riiight. Let’s get going then!”

They took the elevator up.  Skywarp was practically vibrating with impatience, feeding off Starscream’s excitement.  It was like the first flight of a sparkling who had just upgraded into a new frame.  The eagerness to get into the sky was infectious for seekers, and Starscream’s engines were practically thrumming with zeal.

They reached the top of the mast, and Skywarp felt the orange morning sun warm his dark wings.  The air was briny and humid, but it was shaping up to be a beautiful day.  The water around them was not very choppy; the waves were gentle with occasional splashes as they hit up against the platform.   His flight protocols came online once they were out of the elevator, starting to take wind measurements, temperature and pressure readings, and general sensor data for weather predictions.  

He stole a glance at Starscream who had offlined his optics and was similarly absorbing the warmth of the sun with a light smile. 

Skywarp sighed.

“We’ll start with thrusters in bi-pedal form,” Thundercracker said.

They went through the general training, but Skywarp could tell that Starscream was trying to hide his impatience.  He was able to move through every command issued to him with ease and grace.  Finally, once they had gotten through the basics, TC gave Starscream permission to transform.

He was beautiful.

He shot into the air, and Skywarp quickly fell in behind him with Thundercracker observing and offering suggestions from below on the elevator platform.  In all honesty, Skywarp knew that TC didn’t have much to say.  Starscream was almost as good as he had ever been.

Skywarp was so in awe he almost missed the sound of Thundercracker opening a comm to him.  “Ramjet,” came his trinemate’s voice.  “Thank you for offering your assistance here.”

Skywarp swept his sensors down and noticed TC in bi-pedal with Ramjet hovering next to him in the sky.  Thundercracker had made the decision to use the Coneheads as guards for Starscream’s flight, apparently at Starscream’s insistence.  TC had likely opened the comm so that Skywarp could hear in case things got heated.

Starscream made a cheeky quick turn to the right and Skywarp had to quickly adjust.  His attention was divided and Starscream, the glitch, was noticing.

“He’s still so talented,” Ramjet said.  Skywarp couldn’t agree more.  It looked like Starscream had been flying for ages, and his sheer love of sky was palatable.

“I made a mistake earlier,” Ramjet continued.  “I appreciate the vote of confidence you have in us to guard him.”

“It wasn’t my idea,” TC replied.  “Starscream said he trusted you.  And I trust him.”

There was a pause.  “Should you be doing that?  He doesn’t… understand everything.”

“We have to start somewhere.  He’s still incredibly intelligent.  Managed to get you to behave, which was something he couldn’t seem to do before.”

Skywarp did a twisting loop at that statement rather than burst out in laughter.  Starscream must have seen it because now he was doing loops, rolls, and other fancy maneuvers. 

“Yes he’s… different now.” Skywarp heard the hesitation in Ramjet’s voice.  Skywarp had never been particularly fond of Ramjet, but right now he found himself liking him just the tiniest bit.  “He is… enthralling.”

Actually, he didn’t like Ramjet’s tone at all. 

“Yes, his flying is still… extraordinary,” he heard Thundercracker say.  He had a slight strain to his voice, and Skywarp knew he was thinking the same thing.

“He’s still taking up point,” Ramjet observed.  “Trineleader’s position.”

“I think that’s just because he’s eager for sky,” Thundercracker replied.  Skywarp felt a little pang of sympathy in his spark at that.  If Thundercracker couldn’t establish himself as trineleader within their trine, he was going to have a hard time convincing the Air Corp that he deserved to be Air Commander, no matter what Megatron said.  Thundercracker was trying so hard to keep everything together and Skywarp wasn’t sure he was helping enough. 

“Not a criticism, I promise.  At this point, I’m the least of your worries.”

Still, Skywarp turned up his thrusters and crowded Starscream so that he was forced to take up position behind him.  “Try and ride on the upwash from my wingtip vortex,” he said.  Starscream seemed agreeable to follow the command, falling into the space to the back left of Skywarp’s wing.

He was so amendable, it almost hurt.  He had no idea the implications of the power dynamics Skywarp was forcing upon him.  This maneuver was effectively taking him from Trineleader to third in formation, which had previously been Skywarp’s place.  In seeker culture, this was a little bit like slapping him to get him to stay in his lane.  The former Starscream would have been shrieking in anger about now.

But the new Starscream was so content and happy to accept his trinemate’s instruction.

“I swear to you, Air Commander,” Ramjet said.  “I will help him in any way I can.”

The comm closed and Skywarp saw that Ramjet had transformed to take to the sky, likely to do a sweep.

Starscream had sped up a little and was now alongside Skywarp, their wingtips almost touching.

“This feels amazing,” Starscream said over his shared comms.  If he had noticed Ramjet’s presence, he didn’t mention it.  “There are parts of my processor that are now awake that I didn’t even know were there.”

Skywarp snickered.  “It warms my spark to see you so excited.  Nothing like a seeker finally getting his sky.”  He then had a marvelous idea.  “Starscream, transform for a klik,” he said as he turned into bi-pedal.  Starscream expertly transformed and hung in the air next to Skywarp.

“Thundercracker, I wonder if he’s ready for a little game,” Skywarp said, stretching and eyeing Starscream who tilted his helm in a return smile.

“I think that’s a great idea,” TC replied over comms.  “Chase or race?”

“Oh, chase for sure,” Skywarp said.  He turned to Starscream who looked far too adorably curious.  “All you have to do is avoid me for five minutes. If I touch you, I win.”

Starscream smirked.  “What’s the catch?”

Skywarp leaned forward on his thrusters so that he was now face-to-face with Starscream, their noses almost touching.  “Anything goes, sweetspark,” he said, arching an optic-ridge.

“Ah.  Your ability.”  Starscream squinted a little, clearly trying to puzzle his way to victory despite his disadvantage.  “How would I counter that?”

Skywarp winked.  “You’ll have to figure it out.  TC, do you mind being the referee?”

“Not a problem.  We have about ten minutes of flying time left.”

“Better get a move on, Star,” Skywarp said reaching out a servo.  “I don’t intend to play fair.”

Starscream snorted and flipped back into a transformation.  He then turned on his thrusters and twisted into the air.  Skywarp found himself admiring the view.

“Clock has started, ‘Warp.  Maybe you should get moving?”

“Right,” he said, transforming after him. 

Starscream was still incredibly clever.  He knew that he could win in a straight speed contest, but he still wasn’t sure about the extent of Skywarp’s abilities.  Instead, he allowed Skywarp to keep pace, and should Skywarp try to warp closer, he likely would try to bank quickly away.

But Skywarp had a little more experience.

He did a flip and started going in the opposite direction.  Starscream was clearly unnerved, not understanding the logic behind Skywarp’s actions.  He slowed down trying to gauge his trinemate’s next move.

Skywarp then warped ahead of Starscream and flipped into bi-pedal, his arm outstretched and reaching.

Ah, but Starscream maybe expected this?  He also flipped into bi-pedal and cut his thrusters, falling gracefully backwards.

Fear gripped Skywarp’s tanks as his servo missed grabbing his trinemate.  But Starscream’s falling face just arched an optic-ridge and laughed.

He heard snickering from Thundercracker in his comms. 

Skywarp transformed back into jet mode and put his thrusters on max.  Damn cheeky seeker and his fancy flying.  He decided to pull out the best moves he had.

He started a series of warps where he jumped across the sky as he dove after Starscream trying to confuse him as to where he was going to appear.  Starscream’s face furrowed in confusion as his optics tried to track Skywarp as he fell backwards.  Unable to predict his movement, he transformed and shot off, still with a downward trajectory.

Skywarp warped again, knowing all of Starscream’s blind spots and using them to his advantage.  He appeared next to him and immediately reached out, trying to grab a wing.  Starscream ducked by transforming into bi-pedal again, Skywarp’s servo missing by microns.

Skywarp smirked and warped one last time, predicting where Starscream was twisting.  He caught Starscream in his arms, and his quarry looked so shocked with wide optics.  But then Starscream melted into a laugh.

“You caught me,” he said, panting.  “How did you know where-”

Skywarp kissed him deeply.  Chasing Starscream always keyed him up.  Catching Starscream almost sent him to the absolute edge. 

Unfortunately, they had an audience that decided to make themselves known by whooping and jeering at the display of affection.  Skywarp pulled out of the kiss with a low growl even as Starscream just chuckled with more amusement.  Looking down, Skywarp saw some other seekers, some of the Constructions, Rumble, Frenzy, Shockwave, and… Megatron.

Thundercracker looked a little sheepish.  “Sorry, didn’t want to break your concentration to tell you.”

Skywarp allowed them to descend, gently putting his quarry down on the top of the platform around the elevator.

“That was amazing flying,” said Rumble.  Skywarp twitched his wings at the praise for his trinemate, both pleased for him and miffed that their private moment had been unintentionally shared.

Starscream smiled.  “Thank you.  I have excellent teachers.”

“It seems some things have not changed,” Megatron said.  “You’re still rather cunning.”

Starscream bowed slightly to Megatron, and everyone’s optics were on him.  “I hope my mind will continue to be a service to you, my lord.”

Skywarp grimaced but then quickly tried to smooth his faceplate.  He had thought for millennia that if Starscream could just be a little loyal to Megatron then most of his woes would be taken care of.  He wouldn’t get hurt, he wouldn’t be so cruel, and he might begin to be the trinemate that Skywarp had fallen in love with.

But now seeing it, it felt wrong.

Megatron too seemed slightly disturbed.  He had frozen and was staring at Starscream as if not really seeing him.  He then grunted and walked away back towards the elevator.

Starscream rose out of the bow with a slight smile on his face. 

Hmm. What did that mean?

Thundercracker came over and pulled Skywarp into a side-hug.  “You did wonderfully,” he said, planting a kiss on Skywarp’s cheek.  The other congregated mechs came up to Starscream and were asking him questions and complimenting him on his flying. 

“I barely caught him in the time-limit and he has never even flown before,” Skywarp whispered.

“His frame remembered.  And honestly, ‘Warp.  You were spectacular.”

Skywarp finally allowed himself to relax in Thundercracker’s hold.  “I was well-motivated.”

Some of the mechs had started to walk away, but Shockwave still stood there off to the side of the crowd watching Starscream intently.  Starscream seemed to notice and brighten. He walked up to Shockwave and struck up a conversation, his wings flicking.

Skywarp frowned and was about to interrupt, but Thundercracker held him back.  “Part of letting him grow up is allowing him be his own mech,” Thundercracker murmured into his audial.

Skywarp blanched.  “Surely he can be his own mech with anyone else.”

Thundercracker chuckled.  “That’s not how this works, ‘Warp.”

Skywarp sighed and tried to move forward again, and this time TC let him go.  Skywarp relaxed his wings, trying to will the tension out of his frame. 

“…wonder if your roles were reversed, if you could have done the chasing?  There is so much momentum involved in flying, I would imagine the program might have interfered,” Shockwave said.

“Hmm. You think it would interfere relating to the potential for accidents?  It would be so debilitating if that were the case,” Starscream replied.

“Yes.  You certainly weren’t debilitated by any means up there.”

Starscream’s wings flicked ever so slightly at the praise.  Or… maybe if you squinted, Skywarp supposed it was praise.  But was this… cute?  He wasn’t sure.

Shockwave bowed his helm a little, acknowledging Skywarp had joined them.  Starscream smiled at him, and more of his irritation washed away like rain off his wings.

“We will have to find a time to get you up there again,” Skywarp said.  “We just have to find the right schedule mix so that we can watch the skies for any Autobots.  Then we can… test your theories.”

“Oh yes, please!  Excellent, Skywarp.  I will come up with some things we can try, and Shockwave, maybe you could assist? I would appreciate your input.”

Shockwave’s shoulders hunched ever so slightly.  “I likely will not be able to assist.  I will be going back to Cybertron by the end of the week.”

Starscream’s smile faded just a little.  “Oh, well then maybe we can record it and get your input?  You’ve been… a big help in understanding how to navigate my condition.”

Skywarp watched his trinemate try to keep a brave face, but he was clearly not pleased by this development.  Skywarp just didn’t understand how he had grown attached to Shockwave so quickly and without him noticing.

“I would be happy to assist in any way I can,” Shockwave replied.  Was that… gentleness in his tone?

What the frag-

TC suddenly joined them.  “I think I can convince Megatron to let Starscream visit Cybertron at some point.  He should get to see it given everything that has happened.”

Starscream’s entire face erupted in a smile.  Shockwave seemed amused and nodded.  “I think that would be a worthy initiative.  Let me know if you need anything to assist you in your endeavor.”

TC nodded and started to walk back to the elevator with Skywarp following.  Starscream gave a reluctant goodbye wave and Shockwave awkwardly returned it with his servo.

Maybe this was cute.

 

Chapter 14: Victory Over the Manipulator

Starscream was gently being woken.

"'Warp?" he said groggily.  He rubbed the heel of his servo into his optic.  “I didn’t sleep past the alarm, did I?”

"Hey, sweetspark, no, you’re good.  We gotta move you,” Skywarp said lowly.  There was a small amount of tension in his voice prompting Starscream to come awake faster.

“I’m up,” he said quickly.  “What’s happening?”

“Autobots,” he heard Thundercracker say quietly from across the room.  He was at the doorway, listening to his comms.  His null-rays were primed and Starscream could hear the small pings of metal as they heated up and expanded.  “They managed to get down the elevator, but they are held up on the first level.  Still far away yet.”

“Is this… a normal occurrence?” Starscream asked, getting himself out of the berth.

“Not exactly,” Skywarp said, begrudgingly. 

“They don’t usually invade us,” Thundercracker added.  “Our base is at the bottom of the ocean and pretty defensible.  They are either desperate or stupid.”  TC’s optics dimmed as he received more comms.  “You should get going, ‘Warp.”

“I’m going to take you to the Constructicons, okay?” Skywarp said.

Starscream nodded, looking to Thundercracker with concern.  He opened his mouth to say something, but Skywarp had already grabbed him and warped away in a flash of purple light.

They were transported to the medbay and Starscream saw the Constructicons fortifying the entrance.

“Good, you’re here,” Hook said walking up to them.  “Been a while since we had an invading force, huh?”

Skywarp grinned.  “There’s a reason for that, isn’t there?”  He patted Starscream on the arm.  “Keep your comms on and stay here.  Please stay here and listen to the Constructicons.”

Starscream gave a mock salute, but his expression softened.  “Please be careful.”

Skywarp cupped his check and pinched it with affection.  He winked and then was gone.  Starscream felt his spark lurch at his absence. 

Hook smiled at him.  “It’s good to see you getting along with them.  Like a real trine again.” 

Starscream gave him a small smile. “Do we know why they are invading?”

“Well, don’t know if you have heard but there is a war going on,” Mixmaster said, sliding in next to Hook.  “They could have any reason to be here.”

But Starscream knew he was avoiding saying the distinct possibility they were here for him.  He didn’t want to be so conceited in thinking that everything was about him and his condition, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was somehow responsible.  Mixmaster went back to prepping his weapons and helping Bonecrusher and Long Haul barricade the hallway. 

Starscream tried to stay out of the way when he noticed Hook’s side glance.  “Did you… want me to remove those?” he asked.

Starscream was confused for a moment until he followed his gaze to his null-rays.  “Oh… these?”

“Kinda useless to you now.  Might be worth getting rid of the extra weight?”

Starscream considered this.  He had apparently been outfitted with these null-rays for a long time according to that holocube he had seen; it seemed a shame to just “get rid of them.”  All of the seekers had them, he had noticed.  Maybe they were some kind of status symbol or other important piece of seeker culture he was unaware of?

Getting rid of them without knowing the full details of them seemed… rash.

He ran his digits over them, noticing that they had no sensation for him; as in, they weren’t actually part of his frame, per se.  They seemed well-made; white metal formed into a barrel tapered at the end.  He had noticed that not many of their kind had visible weapons always displayed, but seekers did.  Did that mean something?  Why didn’t seekers throw them into subspace when they weren’t being used?

There were still so many things he didn’t know.

“Thank you for the offer, Hook.  Though I think it is likely the Autobots all know my condition, maybe keeping up the appearance that I can defend myself might be useful.”

Hook tilted his helm as if considering his words.  “You have a point.  There are still humans and neutrals to consider.”

There were a few explosions that sounded distantly in the base, and the walls shook with their power.  Hook smiled.  “Particularly animated today, aren’t they?”

Starscream tried not to let his unease show.  He hadn’t been around battling and fighting yet that wasn’t scripted from a training room or an observed from a battle monitor.  Hearing it and feeling the tremors of the base shake were a different matter.  Dust shook from the ceiling panels, and the sound of fighting got louder above their helms.

He wondered idly how his former self would have reacted to this situation.  Would he have been a coward?  Brazenly brave?  Angry?  Starscream supposed it didn’t really matter at all.  He didn’t know why he kept trying to compare himself to his former life.  He didn’t have any of the same resources at his disposal, and none of the same experiences.  His personality might even have been altered if everyone’s reaction to him was any indication.

Hook patted his arm.  “How are you doing?”

Starscream startled out of his thoughts.  “I’m fine,” he said probably too quickly.  “It’s just all really… new.”

“New.  New and probably slag,” Hook laughed.  “I know it likely feels awful to not know anything.  But it really was a kindness taking your memories.  Knowing you and who you were, I doubt your former self would have survived knowing how you are now changed.”

Starscream froze, his intakes held.  “I thought the memory loss was tied to the accident?”

Hook paused, some shock coming over his features.  His mouth tried to move to say something, but he couldn’t find the words.  “No…” he finally said after a few moments.  “No.  Your memory loss was intentional.”

Starscream drew back from Hook.  A swirl of uncertainty and confusion clouded his processor and made it difficult to think. 

It was quiet now.

The absence of explosions was enough to unnerve all of them.  They looked around at each other, and Starscream thought he could see a small creep of panic on some of their faces.

A loud explosion came from the barricade in the hallway.  Debris exploded in all directions, ricocheting off the medical equipment and consoles into the medbay.  The sound was deafening, and Starscream covered his audials.  Hook upended a medical berth and hid behind it, throwing a beckoning servo to Starscream to get down as well.  Starscream followed him, his optics wide. Another, smaller explosion came from the barricade again.

There was shouting and now blaster fire.  Hook was rapidly talking into his comms, trying to contact reinforcements, but it seemed everyone was already engaged.  “How did they get down here?” Scrapper bellowed, jumping up to start firing a volley of blaster fire from behind his own upended berth.  Scavenger joined him, yelling for Mixmaster and Long Haul.  They were trying to drag Bonecrusher back into the medbay, but fire from the Aubobots was making it difficult.

Hook snarled and jumped up to provide cover fire.  Starscream peaked around the side of the berth to look at what was happening, but a stray blast of laser fire made him recoil and just sit there quietly, knowing there was nothing he could do.

Hook got shot in the arm and was down with a pained yell.  He swore colorfully, and Starscream scrambled closer to him to hold him steady.  Starscream looked around and grabbed a medkit from under the berth’s storage and offered it to Hook.  “If you tell me what to do, I can help?”

Hook, his face paler than usual just nodded.  “Get me a pain patch so I can think clearly, then we can move from there.”

Starscream opened the kit and quickly found the patches, opening one with his denta and then applying it to Hook’s arm.  Hook visibly relaxed with a sigh.  “Slagging Autobot blasters burn,” he said offhandedly. 

His comm crackled to life.  “Yeah, we’re about two kliks from being overrun,” he said to the comm with a sigh.  “Slag, does it have to be-” he grimaced.  “Okay fine, fine, yes send them.”

Hook grabbed Starscream by the neck and pushed him gently to the ground.  “Incoming welcome wagon, ‘Cons!” he yelled over his shoulder as he too went to the ground.

Scrapper and the rest of the Constructicons also fell down, covering the backs of their helms.

Hook smiled at Starscream’s confusion. 

Another loud set of explosions erupted around them and a new set of mechs appeared.  Starscream only recognized Vortex and maybe Blast Off. 

“Oh.”

“Oh, is right,” Hook drawled.  “The Combaticons.”

The fighting was intense.  The Autobot force was clearly not prepared for the ferocity and might of the Combaticons who came in with punches, blaster fire, and a certain kind of sadistic glee.  They were laughing, delighted as they brawled, and the disturbed Autobots were pushed back.

A yellow mech came around the corner to look on the other side of the berth.  “There you are, Starscream.  We’ve been sent as your saviors.”  He held out a servo.

Starscream looked up at him and took the servo as he was hauled to his pedes.

“Weird,” the mech said.  “You don’t look any different,” he said tapping his chin with a digit.

Hook pulled himself up, holding his arm.  “We don’t have time for this Swindle.  Get him out of here, okay?”

Swindle smiled a toothy grin.  “Sure, sure, no problem.  Come on, ‘Screamer, let’s get you somewhere safer,” he said with a helm tilt.

Starscream distantly thought there was something wrong.

Hook pushed past them.  “Get moving!  I gotta look at Bonecrusher,” he said, his attention already diverted. 

Swindle bowed a little and gave a flourish of his servo, indicating Starscream should lead the way.  Starscream went in the direction of the door to where the other Combaticons were waiting.

“Ah.  Starscream,” said one of them clearly in charge.  “How the mighty have fallen, hm?”

Starscream paused a little at his tone.  Swindle pushed him forward so that he kept moving.  “Don’t be shy now, Commander.”

“I’m not-”

“Hmm, we should get moving,” the in-charge blue mech said.  Starscream noticed that all of them had faceplates on except for Swindle.  It made them more intimidating.

Starscream felt crowded as Blastoff and Vortex pushed him forward through the hallway with Swindle, the leader, and another mech led them.

“We’ve got to keep you safe, Commander,” Swindle winked over his shoulder.  “What with you being so debilitated and all.”

Starscream had learned very quickly since he had woken up in the medbay to his new life that he needed every scrap of information he could gather.  These mechs around him lived for millions of years and had an insane amount of history, politics, and grudges that added up over time.  He had learned to hone his observation skills as one of the only tools he had that was left intact after his accident.

He was… definitely picking up on something dangerous here.  He started looking for an escape.

“I think this is a good spot,” the leader said, stopping at a console room.  Starscream felt himself pushed in and the door closed behind him.  Vortex and Blastoff stood outside.

“What do you think Onslaught?  I definitely think you were on to something.”

The leader mech apparently named “Onslaught” tilted his helm.  “I agree, Brawl.  The more I see of him, the more I’m convinced.  Swindle?”

“No doubt in my mind,” he said with a smirk.  “Definitely faking.”

Starscream narrowed his optics.  “Faking.”

“Yes.  See, we know you, Starscream.  You fragging created us after all,” Swindle said.

“…what?”

“Yeah, without energy absorbers, so thanks for that,” Brawl said, leaning forward menacingly. 

“I’m not sure you realized what you were unleashing though.”  Swindle’s smooth voice was chuckling.  “Drop the charade, eh, Commander?  It’s getting tiresome.”

Starscream slowly crossed his arms across his chassis.  “I was demoted, first of all,” he said with a slight edge to his voice.  “I’m a Lieutenant, now.”

“Yeah okay, sure, Megatron will have you back to being second-in-command in a few decacycles, guar-an-teed,” Brawl said, putting his hands on his hips.  “He’s stupid like that about you.”

Starscream watched them carefully.  So far, he hadn’t heard such blatant disrespect for Megatron, and he felt like that was more dangerous than any feeling he had so far.  Megatron so far had seemed… interested in Starscream’s welfare, even if he was just a pawn of some kind.  If the Combaticons disregarded him, Starscream realized his situation was perilous.

They radiated confidence and surety; they had no doubt that he was acting.  He wondered if anyone else in the base had thought the same thing?  How could he prove them wrong?

Onslaught took a step forward.  “I think it’s time you stopped the act.  It’s unique what you came up with, I’ll give you that.  Really sparked some fear in everyone thinking about what would happen if the Autobots could do it to them.  Seemed like we were actually united as a faction again.  But it’s you,” he spat.  “Everyone should remember how much of a manipulator you are.”

Starscream took a step back, but Onslaught had reached out a servo and caught his wing so that he couldn’t retreat anymore.  Starscream swallowed down his panic and thought very carefully about his next move.  What he said was true, he thought.  He still had the ability to manipulate mechs to get them to do what he wanted just by observing them and learning what made them tick.

He just needed to calculate the situation to turn it in his favor.

“You seem to be pretty sure this is all a trick,” he started carefully.  He forced his wings to relax despite the rough servo on it, he rolled his neck, and he straightened his posture.  “Let’s say it is, an act,” he drawled.  He felt like he was laying it on too thick but based on the reactions from the mechs… yeah, this was right.  “Are you saying you want to stop me, or you want in on it?” He was leaning on a part of his voice that sounded confident and arrogant.

Something like what he thought his old self might be like.

Swindle was grinning.  “I knew he was faking.  I knew it,” he laughed.  “There is no way you would have allowed this to happen.”  He held out his servo to Brawl who rolled his optics and gave him a bottle of high-grade.  It seemed Swindle had won some kind of bet.

Onslaught released his wing, much to his relief.

“Clearly you thought I had some elaborate plan.  What do you think it is?” Starscream kept the act up, folding his arms across his chassis.

Onslaught was watching him closely.  “To take down Megatron, like it always is.  Instill a false sense of security in everyone that you aren’t a threat.  If you’re pacified, it doesn’t become less threatening than that.  And all it requires is you NOT shoot someone for 99% of the time, except the one time you need to do it.”

Starscream nodded, as if this made complete sense and was totally what he had planned.  “And how did I convince the Autobots to go along with the plan?”

Swindle spoke up this time.  “Probably offered them some kind of deal to help you take Megatron off the board.  They’d see you as the lesser of two stupid evils.  Fooling your trinemates was quite the cold, but effective touch, I’d have to say.”

Starscream shrugged.  “You still haven’t answered the question, though,” he reminded them.  “Do you want in on it or not?”

Onslaught narrowed his optics.  “You haven’t actually admitted to anything yet.  Odd for you to not crow your victory.”

“But there’s no victory yet.  I haven’t won.  Megatron is not destroyed.  I would try to keep the act up as long as possible, right?”

“That… tracks,” Swindle said.  He too was now looking at Starscream somewhat suspiciously.

“Something is still not right.  You’re still hiding something,” Onslaught said, crowding Starscream’s space again.  “I think I still want to see you break in public. It’s be really satisfying to see everyone realize what a piece of slag you are.”

Starscream had almost had them.  He hardened his jaw and tried a different tactic.  “I’m not faking,” he said angrily.  “I am truly pacified,” he said with a touch of anxiety.

“Well, we’ll know for sure soon.  We’ll use you as a shield against the Autobots.  If you fire back so you don’t get hit, well then, victory over the manipulator. If not… our mistake.”

Starscream tried to take a step back again, but Onslaught grabbed him to spin him around and push him back though the door. 

“Let’s get moving.”

Notes:

Thanks for being so patient and sticking with the story so far. <3 You all are so wonderful. LOOKING FORWARD TO YOU YELLING AT ME LMFAO

Chapter 15: Belonging

Starscream didn’t think this was going to end well for him.

The Combaticons were rough in pushing him forward; all cruel laughs and jokes at his expense as they moved down the corridor.  Starscream was trying not to let his panic show too much to these mechs who obviously didn’t care about how he felt except to make him suffer. 

Yet again, he really wished his old self would have just toned it down a little.

He had some small daydreams of that conversation, of how it would go.  His old self, all malicious smirks and shrieking obscenities (he guessed), and him, calm, collected, observing, having a conversation about why the frag had he wasted his life pissing off every single mech around him?

Or maybe… Actually.  He should be asking what caused him to be like that. 

Again, he tried to comm Skywarp, Thundercracker, Ramjet, even Rumble.  It seemed either something was jamming comms or they were too busy to answer.

They encountered some Autobots in the hallway who at first would try to engage them, but then would see it was the Combaticons and then fall back.  A few gave Starscream a strange look, but it seemed like they couldn’t stay long enough to decide how they wanted to respond.

Starscream was impressed with the ferocity of the Combaticons.  They fought well as a unit and had very little qualms about just diving into a fight, but always seemed to have some kind of strategy that they were all playing off of and coordinated their movements.

“You keep staring,” Vortex said in an irritated voice. 

Starscream sighed as Onslaught held tight to his shoulder and pushed him down the hallway.  “Just observing.”

“And what have you observed?” Blast Off said.  “What has the great Starscream noticed about how we are fighting?”

“That’s enough talking,” Onslaught said.  “Starscream is the most dangerous when his mouth is moving.”

Starscream scowled.  He wished he could live up to the version of himself that Onslaught thought he was.  He might have been able to figure out how to get out of this mess.

They came across another set of Autobots who immediately began firing on them.  Starscream tried to move into a nearby door frame to escape the crossfire, but Onslaught held him still and used Starscream’s shoulder to brace his gun as he stood behind the seeker.  Starscream found he could not budge, but just stare down helplessly at the Autobots who were firing at him.

“Now would be the time to fire back, Commander,” Onslaught growled behind him.  Starscream opened his mouth to respond that he couldn’t, but then-

He got hit in the wing and his upper thigh before the firing stopped.  He flinched and then grimaced in pain as the shots stung horribly.

The Autobots gave him a look of recognition that turned to confusion and then finally, fury. 

Great.  They understood what was happening.  Now they would be even more convinced of their righteousness and… Starscream couldn’t blame them.

“WHAT THE FRAG, CONS?!” said one of them: a short, red one with horns on his helm. There was a derisive chuckle from the Combaticons behind Starscream that made his plating crawl.

“What?  Can’t help that you all are suckers,” Swindle called.

Their laughter was cut off when more Autobots appeared and started to engage them in hand-to-hand combat, throwing punches and trying to tackle them.  Onslaught roughly threw Starscream into the door frame and started to fight back. 

Starscream watched the fighting with panic.  He pushed his back up against the door and was trying to key in to open it, but it wasn’t working.  Vortex was roughly thrown up against the wall beside him, and a big red Autobot was coming after him with a dark look.  Starscream winced as the Autobot punched Vortex in the face then kneed him in the stomach, making him double over.  Seeming to remember himself, Vortex then launched himself around the Autobot’s waist.  They fell backward into a heap into the corridor again.

Someone then grabbed Starscream’s elbow and was pulling him away toward the Autobots side of the hallway.  Starscream tripped trying to keep pace but was surprised when he saw who it was.  “Jazz?!”

“Are you alright?” Jazz asked over his shoulder, still pulling, his grip firm on him.

Starscream knew he was limping and knew his wing was in searing pain, but he knew where this was going before Jazz even went there.  “I know what It must look like but-”

“Starscream.  What the frag,” Jazz said, pulling him closer as they turned the corner.  Starscream heard the sound of yells, snarls, fighting, and groans behind him as the Combaticons were still engaged with the Autobots.  “You said they were treating you well.  Did you lie to me?”

“Jazz-” Starscream said, plaintively.  He glanced back at the Combaticons, and then down at the servo holding his elbow, then back into Jazz’s blue visor.  “Jazz, let me go.”

Jazz ignored him.  “Starscream, are they… using you as a shield against us?”

Starscream was close enough to Jazz’s face to see the fiery blue optics behind the visor, and he… he actually felt fear bloom in his tanks.  “It’s not-”

“Oh SLAG THIS,” Jazz growled, and Starscream flinched.  Jazz didn’t seem to notice. “Starscream, I was wrong, and I should have just taken you with me.”

“No, please, Jazz, it’s not everyone.  It’s just them. They don’t believe me; they think I’m lying about all of it.  Jazz. Please. I don’t-”

“Starscream,” Jazz said, a touch softer this time. “Even if most of the base is kind to you, it’s obvious they can’t protect you-”

Starscream’s face erupted in frustration.  “Protect me from WHO? You?” Starscream cried. “You are the ones who are attacking the base.  This wouldn’t even have happened if you weren’t attacking- why are you even here?” Starscream wanted to pull back his arm from Jazz’s grip, but he couldn’t find the will to do so.  He just stared at it with growing distress, then looked up at Jazz in pain.

Jazz cursed under his vents.  “Listen: I messed up.  We messed up in the worst way possible and it’s… tearing us apart on our side.  We need to make this right or else we can’t call ourselves Autobots.”

Starscream was shaking his helm.  “Your version of making things right is attacking my home?  Just let me live my life.  Do I at least get choose that?  Primus knows you took everything else away from me,” he said bitterly.  But the stricken look on Jazz’s faceplates made him feel… oddly prickly.  Like talons or claws gliding across his frame, and he felt a little dizzy.

The sounds of fighting sounded distant even though he was pretty sure things were the same out there.  It was just him and Jazz looking at each other, Jazz clenching his jaw and Starscream trying to stop a tremor from breaking through into his servos.  “Just let me figure it out,” Starscream said quietly.  “You literally can force me to do anything but I’m hoping you are better than that, like you claim to be.  I understand you are trying to help but I can figure it out.”

Jazz was shaking his helm.  “They are using you, Starscream, can’t you see that?  This isn’t the right place for you! I can’t let this-” Jazz then stopped and just stared at Starscream for a few precious moments.  Then Jazz finally dropped his elbow. He looked at Starscream with concern and care, and Starscream actually felt a little surprised.  Why did Jazz care so much?  Was it actually about him, or was it about something else?

Another black and white Autobot with a red chevron on his forehead jogged up to them.  “Is he coming?  We have to move.”

Starscream looked back and forth between the two of them, settling on Jazz.  “I can’t leave Skywarp and Thundercracker,” he said quietly.  “Please don’t do this.”

Jazz looked torn, which Starscream thought was a good sign.  Better that he was debating it.

“Jazz,” the new Autobots rebuked.

Jazz helm snapped out of his confusion, looking to the other bot and then back to Starscream.  “I’m sorry, Starscream-”

Starscream stepped back with a sharp intake of breath, and Jazz looked incredibly sad.  He reached out a servo, intending to grab him.  Starscream watched the servo in slow-motion, incredulous that no one believed him, that no one was listening to him, and that this was his life now.  Constantly told what his limits were and forced to follow the whims of those that claimed they knew better.

Then Blast Off and Brawl appeared in a flying tackle, taking down Jazz and the other Autobot with them.

Starscream looked at the fighting happening in front of him with wide optics.  The violence seared itself on a part of his processor and paralyzed him with fear.  He desperately looked down the corridor beside him and then decided that he could make a run for it, if his frame would cooperate.

Slowly, he willed his pedes to move.  He watched the engaged fighters carefully, hoping that they would miss where he went.  He coiled up all of his tension, all of his fear, and threw it into his legs to try and spurn his escape as he began running as quickly as he could.

He was running down a series of corridors, not sure where he should go.  Clearly, he had to avoid the Autobots as best that he could, but now… he was worried about running into Decepticons as well. Thundercracker had told him that everyone on the base had pledged to protect him, but either that had been another lie or that some pledges had been lies.

And… speaking of lies. His memory loss had not been a result of his accident.  Or, more accurately, they had been intentionally stolen from him.  Hook had implied it was for the best, but yet again… the fact that everyone had lied about it made him suspicious. 

Megatron’s odd behavior around him made him wonder if there was a connection there.

Starscream tripped and his wound on his thigh opened up more in burning pain.  Some energon now was welling out, and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to run much more.  He figured he needed to hide but this part of the base was somewhat unfamiliar to him.  He pulled himself off the ground and moved into another doorframe and sat down on the ground.

This was a nightmare.  He thunked his helm back against the metal wall behind him, feeling incredibly tired. 

“There you are!” Swindle said. 

Starscream closed his optics in irritation. 

“Didn’t get very far, didya?” Swindle walked up and crouched down looking at him at optic-level.  “Oh that looks like it hurt, hmm?” 

Starscream just watched him with a frown.

“…You’re uh, bleeding quite a bit there, ‘Screamer.”  Swindle’s smile faded.  “Saw you arguing with Jazz back there.  Seems like he wanted to take you with him.”

“Yes.  He wants to save me from the Decepticons, Swindle.  Because I’m not competent to make my own decisions.”

Swindle frowned.  He looked at Starscream’s face for a long time, then clenched his jaw.  “You’re not faking it are you?”

“I’m not,” Starscream said wearily.  “I don’t even know what I did to you to make you hate me so much but for some reason, it doesn’t surprise me.”

Swindle watched him for a few moments longer, his optics dancing as if weighing everything.  “Well, that’s no fun.” He slapped his thighs and stood looking down at Starscream.  “That’s a raw deal though, huh.”

Starscream attempted to stand and had to use the wall to brace himself.  “What finally convinced you?”

“Hmm.  Just the general package,” he said.  “Something about you now is… naïve. Less of a manipulator and more of a mark.”

There were other pedefalls in the hallway and the other Combaticons arrived, surrounding the doorway.  They looked a little worse for wear and regarded Starscream coldly.

“Surprised we didn’t lose you,” Onslaught said suspiciously.

Starscream gave a cold stare and then shrugged.  “I’m not familiar with this part of the base.”

Onslaught looked to Swindle who was still watching Starscream with an intent look.  Swindle then sighed and turned to his gestalt leader.  “He ain’t faking it.  We messed up.”

Onslaught pulled back and then took a few menacing steps towards Starscream.  “He has to be faking it,” he said angrily, grabbing Starscream’s wing.  Starscream glared up at him, hardening his jaw into a grimace.  Onslaught returned the glare.  “It… has to be… fake.”

“Why does it have to be fake?” Starscream asked quietly.

Onslaught kept staring.  Then he dropped his servo off of his wing and his look lost its edge.  For a split second, Starscream thought he registered sadness or fear on his face, but it was quickly hardened.

“We have to get him to Hook,” Onslaught said with a growl.  “I supposed there will be Pit to pay if the precious Prince of Vos is permanently damaged.”  He grabbed Starscream by the elbow this time, bracing him so that he could walk.   “We aren’t going to have any trouble, are we, Starscream?”

Starscream grimaced as he was pulled forward into the hallway.  “What do you mean by trouble?” 

“Well, you are going to tell them exactly what we want you to tell them, right?  How we saved you from the Autobots?” Onslaught roughly jerked him so that he stumbled.

“Frag you,” he said, coming off more irritated than angry.  He could never quite get the right tone of anger that he wanted to add to his words; it always felt muted.   “Why would I tell anything other than the truth?”

“Well, what is the truth Starscream?  That you got hit by some Autobots? And that we rescued you, but unfortunately you got caught in the way?” Onslaught pulled Starscream closer to stare him down. “Or do I need to have a deep and painful conversation with Thundercracker and Skywarp?”

Starscream softened his features, surrendering in Onslaught’s grip.  He didn’t doubt that Skywarp and Thundercracker could take care of themselves, and probably had been for a long time, but he didn’t know the extent of the Combaticons’ abilities.  And they were clearly ferocious fighters.  He gave Onslaught a sad look.  “You should have just listened to me.” 

“You’ll pardon me if I still find that hard to do after all this time.”

Starscream’s gaze fell and he sighed.  Onslaught drew back, releasing Starscream with a push. 

“It might be suspicious if Starscream is the only one with wounds on him,” Swindle stated, eyeing Starscream's damaged frame.

“Yeah, you’re right, come here,” Brawl said, grabbing Swindle.

“Aw mech, really, what- ow! OW-” Swindle said, taking some hard punches from Brawl.

Starscream watched them as they punched each other, his face tight and his wings low.

Jazz might have been right.  This might not be the right place for him, after all.

Notes:

 

Just... fulfilling my promise lol LOVE YOU JERKS

Chapter 16: Perish the Thought

They arrived back in the medbay and Starscream was leaning heavily on Onslaught at the end.  There was a lot of debris and scorch marks on the walls from blaster fire and a lot of fighting that must have taken place here after they left.  Starscream dimly wondered if it would have been better if he hadn’t left at all.

Hook at first looked elated to see them, but then his face darkens in rage.  “What the FRAG HAPPENED?!” he shouted, dropping all of his tools and running to the door.

“We ran into some Autobots, Hook,” Onslaught said, handing Starscream over to the medic.  His visored optics bored into Starscream, obviously trying to intimidate him again.

He needn’t have bothered.

Hook let Starscream put his weight on him and made a noise of distress. “You should have just stayed here- are you alright?!”

Starscream nodded and mumbled, “I’m fine.”  Hook narrowed his optics and looked him over for damage, seeing the wounds more closely.  His deft servos shook a little as he hardened his jaw.

“Onslaught.” Hook’s voice was tight. 

“What?”

“Why did they fire on him? They know he can’t defend himself.”  Hook turned to look at Onslaught, his optics darting to the other Combaticons who were pointedly not looking at him.

Onslaught took another moment of silence then simply shrugged.  “Ricochet.  The bouncing of bullets off of walls, not the mech.”

Hook turned to Starscream, affixing him with a searching look.  “Is that what happened, Starscream?”

Starscream sighed.  “Ricochet.  Like Onslaught said.”  He winced a little as a distraction, trying to move the conversation along.

Hook watched him for a few more seconds, and Starscream feared he was going to ask more questions or call him out for the lie.  Instead, Hook sighed. “Let me help then.”  Hook led him to a medical berth and leaned him against it.

“Your trine is going to kill me,” he muttered, finding pain patches and nanite gel to start patching him up.

“They won’t kill you.  It was an accident.”  Starscream clenched his jaw as Hook began his ministrations on his wounds.  “You were right, though.  Autobot fire does sting.”

Hook sighed.  “Damn it, Starscream,” he said sadly.  “If they threatened you in some way,” he said glancing over his shoulder at Onslaught who watched them like a turbohawk, “just know they don’t have any kind of power here.  Megatron brought them to heel, so you can’t take anything they say at face value.”

Starscream gave Onslaught a side-glance.  “Thank you, Hook,” he said quietly.  “And no, they didn’t threaten… me.”

“Good,” Hook said, oblivious to the nuance of what he had said.

Unfortunately, the battle wasn’t over.  The Combaticons stayed by the entrance to the medbay, discussing their next course of action when a loud explosion sounded above their heads on the floors above.  They all ducked on instinct and they heard the distant rushing of water coming in above them.  There was a distant sound of yelling and blast doors closing, trapping the water and maybe some unfortunate mechs on the level.

Hook started getting a lot of comms. He tried to answer them and deal with them as he continued to fix Starscream.  As time passed his face became more and more grave.  “You’re done for now.  Just… stay here,” Hook said.  He turned to the other Constructicons.  “Get those berths righted, we’re about to have a lot of incoming,” he barked.

Starscream watched with a heavy spark as some wounded started to come in.  They filled up the beds quickly and Starscream decided to hop down from the berth to make room.  He winced but found he could put more weight on his leg than previously.  He went to a far wall near the entrance, attempting to stay out of the way.   The Combaticons had left to go fight off more Autobots and it was a weight lifted off Starscream’s shoulders that they were gone.

But a few stray angry looks from the wounded took its place.

He could tell the mechs were trying to be subtle about it, or at least try and control their thoughts.  It must have dawned on many of them why the Autobots were here, and they likely could not help their ire directed at him.  Starscream wanted to shout that this wasn’t his fault, but he also knew it wouldn’t matter what he said.

Nothing he said was changing anything.

There was a flurry of activity and then a flash of purple light.  Skywarp appeared and Starscream thought his spark had leapt into his throat for how excited he was to see him.  He smiled warmly and took a step towards him when he saw what Skywarp was holding.

Thundercracker was out cold his arms, bleeding energon all over the ground.

Starscream stopped venting, and his world shattered.

Skywarp quickly found an open berth and angrily yelled for one of the Constructicons.  Scrapper appeared, throwing scanners over the broken Air Commander and then cursed, calling for Hook.  The two of them together began to take some of Thundercracker’s damaged armor off to get to some of bleeding lines below.  He groaned, apparently not entirely unconscious as he appeared, and Skywarp was immediately at his side.  Starscream saw TC reach up a servo to cup Skywarp’s face and there was a pained conversation happening between them.  Skywarp nodded slowly, and then said something to Hook.

“We’ll do our best,” Hook said, loud enough this time that Starscream could hear him, and his spark sank.

Skywarp looked around the medbay and then found him, and his face crumpled when they locked optics.  He was now walking quickly over to Starscream, but Starscream was struggling to vent and he was shaking his helm.

“‘Warp-” he managed to say out loud, but his voice was strangled and broken.

“Star, it’s okay, he’s going to be okay,” Skywarp said, taking his trinemate’s helm in his servos, and bringing their foreheads together to touch.  “He’s been through much worse, trust me.” He pulled back then and froze when he noticed Starscream’s patched wounds.  “What… happened?”

Starscream stilled at the coldness to Skywarp’s voice as he had never heard it like that before.  “I’m okay, ‘Warp.  I’m okay.”  He kept trying to bring out the lies that Onslaught had taught him by example, but at this moment he found he could not even attempt it. 

“That wasn’t what I asked,” Skywarp said, his fangs bared.  “Who shot you?”

“The Autobots.”

“And who was guarding you?”

Starscream sighed.  “The Combaticons.  But it wasn’t-” Starscream stopped himself, as Skywarp’s face darkened.

Skywarp’s optics narrowed and then he grimaced with all of his denta bared.  “I have to go back to fighting.  Stay with Hook.”

Starscream wanted to protest and to ask him to stay but knew he could not.  Skywarp turned around and walked back into the middle of the room.  “Anyone want to get back in there?” he called.

Two mechs walked up to him, nodded and put their servos on his shoulder.  Skywarp gave a final look to Thundercracker and disappeared in a flash of purple light.

Despite being in a room full of mechs, Starscream had never felt so alone.

Thundercracker did look stable, but he also looked like he was in terrible pain.  The Decepticons were low on supplies it appeared, and many had to go without any kind of pain numbing agent.  Starscream quietly picked at the pain patch he had been given on his thigh wondering why he had been prioritized. 

Pain had been a strange sensation to him.  It was strange in that it felt familiar… which scared him.  His frame had accepted the wounds and gave him adrenaline in its place, giving him the drive to run from the battle that had been occurring around him. 

A terrible thought was forming in his helm and he tried to squash it, yet it persisted. 

“Why are they even here?” he heard a voice from a berth nearby.  Someone he didn’t know.

“I could get you a list, but we’d be here awhile,” came another voice belonging to someone else he didn’t know.

“It’s too bad we can’t just give them what they want, then,” the first one said.  “They are being particularly vicious this time and we were already low on energon.”

“Well… I’m pretty sure they are here for…” Starscream strained to hear, but the mech’s voice had tapered off into a whisper.  But Starscream already knew the answer.

He looked around the room wildly.  Again, there were some surreptitious looks sent his way from mechs he didn’t know, but even some from he did know.  They didn’t seem to be outright blaming him, but the truth that he was the reason for the Autobots’ presence. 

And that they would keep coming until they got him.

The terrible thought came to the front of his processor again, and he clenched his jaw and snuck out of the medbay.

 

---

 

Jazz cursed colorfully.  They were not going to be able to stay here much longer.  They had managed to take the Decepticons by surprise and their intel that they were low on energon had been good, but they were still scary, crazy bots that were on their own home turf.  Even with their new weapons that Wheeljack had designed, they still were putting up an incredible fight.

Ironhide was leading his unit, but secretly kept deferring to Jazz even though he wasn’t an officer anymore.  Jazz and Prowl both were now just grunts in the army, taking their demotions in stride.  Jazz knew there were grumblings about it, especially over Starscream of all mechs, but he understood the position that Optimus had been placed in.  It was unfortunate that in the end it didn’t stop the Autobots from splintering.

Jazz was about to strongly suggest that the mission was over when there was a commotion at the end of the hallway they were guarding.  Prowl physically grabbed Cliffjumper’s blaster and pointed it down at the ground, telling him not to shoot.

Jazz looked up and saw that it was Starscream slowly, hesitantly walking towards them.

He looked very frightened and sad.  And it honestly broke Jazz’s spark.

Jazz leapt out from behind their barricade, hoping that this was the break they needed.

“Starscream.  Are you-”

“If I go with you,” Starscream interrupted, “do you promise to leave here, and not attack them again?”

Jazz balked at the request.  He wanted to immediately say yes; this would solve so many of his problems.  But he also didn’t want to lie.  “I can’t make that decision Starscream.  You would have to talk to Optimus.”

There was more fear in his optics, more pain.  “Then at least will you leave now?”

Jazz stole a look to Ironhide who was watching them with rapt attention.  He slightly inclined his helm in agreement.  “Yeah.  We can do that,” Jazz replied.

Starscream crossed his arms and looked at the ground.  He then nodded quietly.

Jazz could have kissed him.

All of the Autobots were suddenly on comms, calling for a full retreat.  Jazz offered a servo to Starscream.  “What changed your mind?”

Starscream regarded the servo with trepidation.  “Something you said about not belonging,” he replied, taking the servo.  “I don’t know if I actually belong with the Autobots either, but you’re not going to stop until I come with you, are you?”

“We are a tenacious bunch,” Cliffjumper said with a smile.

Starscream sighed.  “So you are.”

It didn’t sound like a compliment.

 

---

 

They were running now to a part of the base where they had made a breach in the base ship’s hull.  A submersible craft waited for them right beyond a forcefield keeping the water from flowing in.  The Autobots began to pile in and Starscream waited next to Jazz, watching with dull optics.

There was a small stir amongst the bots in the hallway beside them, and Starscream heard the Autobots yelling for assistance in subduing someone.  Starscream’s tanks seized as he saw it was Shockwave being forced to his knees.

“Stop,” he whispered, seeing someone give Shockwave a punch for resisting.  “Jazz, please stop them,” he said brokenly.

Jazz looked over and yelled, “HEY that’s enough.  Cool your helms, mechs.”

Starscream walked over, getting plenty of odd looks from the Autobots, but he didn’t care.   He fell to his knees in front of Shockwave, placing his servos on his helm with extreme gentleness.  Shockwave stopped struggling and his yellow optic trained on Starscream.

“Ah.  There you are,” Shockwave said simply.  He flicked his optic to the Autobots behind him, and then back to Starscream.  “It appears yet again I am unable to stop Autobots from taking you out of the base.  I apologize.”

Despite everything, Starscream gave him a tight smile, almost laughing at how simply Shockwave had put it.  Starscream cast his optics down and sighed before removing his servos from his helm and letting them fall to his side.  “I’m going with them, Shockwave. Willingly,” he said sadly.

Shockwave paused and his optic softened a little as he processed this information.  Starscream wondered what he thought of him then: would he think he was a coward for giving up?  Would he think he was weak?  But he didn’t see any of these emotions in Shockwave’s optic.  All he saw was gentleness.  “I told you some time ago that logically you might fit in better with them.  As long as this is what you really want, you should go.”

Starscream was struck then that Shockwave was the only one he could trust to let him make a decision on his own, and Starscream was leaving him.  “I don’t know what I want,” he said quietly.

“You haven’t been given the opportunity to figure it out,” Shockwave said gently.  “Go and find out, and if you decide you want something else, contact me.  I will help you.”

Jazz was pulling Starscream up off the floor now and directing him to the craft.  Starscream wanted to resist, but knew he could not. He looked back at Shockwave sadly. 

“Sorry, Starscream, we have to go,” Jazz said.

Shockwave watched him go and inclined his helm in goodbye.  Starscream suddenly was very unsure of everything, but then Jazz ushered him into the submersible.  He was seated near the front, with all optics on him.  He tried not to shift under their gazes.

He tried to flip on his comms to send a message to Skywarp, but Jazz reached over and tapped a device to Starscream’s helm.  His comms went dead in static.

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” he said sadly.

Jazz pursed his lips into a tight line.  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.  “We can’t risk it.”

Starscream gently thunked his head back against the wall of the submersible, casting his optics to the ceiling as they took off away from the base.

Notes:

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY- <3 lmfao

Chapter 17: Hang on His Own Noose

Jazz was trying not to watch Starscream too closely, but he was worried.  The seeker was clearly trying to put up a brave front, but Jazz thought he’d be crazy not to be frightened.  Who knows what the Decepticons had told him about the Autobots.

And in some part of his processor, Jazz wondered if they might have been right.

The submersible eventually surfaced and the Autobots began to unload.  Starscream and Jazz were the last to exit onto the soft sand of the beach and into the foggy early morning.

“We have a bit of a road trip to get to the base,” Jazz said.  “We’ll be traveling with Optimus Prime.”

That name elicited a flicker of recognition from the seeker, but he responded with only a shrug.  It was barely dawn now as the sky quickly became lighter.  Starscream was tight lipped as they waited.  He seemed unhappy and Jazz wished he could say something that would ease his spark and maybe some of the guilt that Jazz had.

They only had to wait a little while before a small contingent of Autobots met the ones who had been involved in the raid.  Ratchet arrived and was quickly evaluating and triaging the wounded with First Aid, while other bots were quickly transforming and leaving to go back to the base to prepare for a possible attack.

A lot of words like retaliation were being murmured through the ranks.  Jazz had been thinking the same thing, had anyone asked him.  But no one did.

Prowl was standing close by, examining some scorching he had on his forearm with a frown.  They both had found themselves pariahs since this whole mess had started.  Jazz knew that Prowl didn’t quite have the same kind of remorse that he had about what had happened with Starscream and tacere avem, but it was still there.  Unfortunately, the other Autobots had interpreted Prowl’s behavior as unfeeling or uncaring and had not treated him well for it.  But Jazz knew that losing rank had hit Prowl pretty hard.

Jazz had never really cared about rank or anything like that.  But… he wasn’t particularly thrilled in how it had come about for him. 

Mirage had outplayed him.  And Jazz hadn’t seen it coming.

Finally Ratchet made it to the three of them.  “Odd that you two are in charge of him,” he said gruffly. 

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only Autobot he knows,” Jazz said, giving Starscream a side-glance and a calming smile.  “But he’ll get to know more of us soon.”

Ratchet softened a bit.  “I’m Ratchet, the Chief Medical Officer of the Autobots,” he said.  “I heard you had been wounded.”

“Hook patched me,” Starscream responded quietly.  “…but another look would be appreciated.  He quickly became occupied.”

It struck Jazz that this statement would have been scathing from the Starscream they used to know.  But as he spoke, Jazz heard that Starscream was just describing the plain truth of what had happened.

Ratchet was similarly thrown off-balance by his response.  “…sure.”  Ratchet gave Jazz a quick glance and then began scanning him.

Jazz could see Starscream was uncomfortable with Ratchet’s proximity.  “Have you fueled lately?  We can get you some energon,” Jazz offered.

Starscream shook his helm. “I’m fine,” he said softly. 

Ratchet pulled back, reading the scans with a frown.  “Yes, you are in remarkably good health other than some blaster injuries.” Ratchet actually seemed surprised.  “Those pain patches will have worn off by now, so we can get you some new ones.  But… you are underfueled, Starscream.  We will need to get you energon when we get back to the Ark.”

Starscream swallowed and nodded as if chastized.  Ratchet gave Jazz a nod and walked back over to the other Autobots to prepare to depart.

As they watched him leave, they saw a new mech walking towards them with his typical intensity.

Optimus.

Starscream stiffened and was clearly trying not to take a step back in alarm.  Optimus noticed and put his servos up placatingly.

“I am not going to harm, you Starscream.”  His optics gleamed with an odd quality they often had when he was talking to humans and didn’t want to frighten them away but still needed something from them.

Maybe Jazz was projecting.

“No, you would just hurt-…” Starscream started, his voice thick.  But he cut off abruptly, shaking a little, and slowly folded his arms over his chassis. His lips pressed into a line.

“You are upset.  You are free to speak your mind with us; we will not harm you for having a contrary opinion like the Decepticons would.”

Starscream blanched.  “No! They wouldn’t either- I was not harmed, sir.”

“Your wounds tell a different story.”

Starscream opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again and just looked at the ground.  “That was just the Combaticons,” he mumbled.  “And it was your Autobots who-” again, he had started, and then stopped abruptly.  Jazz thought he looked frustrated and exhausted.

“Maybe we should get him back to base, sir,” Jazz said.  “It’s been a long night.”

Optimus’s optics glittered in what Jazz had come to learn was actually annoyance.  “Very well,” he rumbled.  Starscream looked incredibly grateful and his taut shoulders relaxed a little.  “We have much to discuss, but Jazz is right.  We should get you back to the base.  You will travel in my trailer.”

There was a little bit of panic in Starscream’s optics but said nothing as he followed Optimus over to the trailer.  He hesitated only a moment and then got inside. 

“You are worried,” Prowl said quietly beside Jazz.

“Is it that obvious?”

Prowl shrugged.  “You seem to care a lot more about Starscream than I thought.”

Jazz’s helm fell in exasperation.  “I don’t know, Prowl.  The mech grows on you.”

Prowl’s optics were watching the trailer with a steely gaze.  “I don’t think this is going to work.  I calculate that Optimus’s plan to use Starscream to entice Skyfire and the other Autobots back has a terribly low chance of succeeding.”

“Yeah, I could have told you that,” Jazz said.

“We need to tell him.” Prowl took a step forward, but Jazz stopped him with a gentle servo on his shoulder.

“He ain’t listening to us anymore, Prowler.  This whole thing shook his confidence and he’s not acting like himself.  I really think the best play is for us to just watch, wait, and help where we can.  Or else we might get locked out of everything entirely.”

Prowl’s blue optics were like chips of ice as they studied Jazz.  Then they flicked back to Optimus who had transformed and was getting ready to leave with the trailer and Starscream.  “I suppose… you are right.” Prowl’s voice had a rare element of defeat to it.

Jazz let his arm drop to his side.  “Let’s get going, then,” he said quietly.

They transformed and took off after Optimus quietly.

 

---

 

“WHERE IS HE?!”

Megatron saw Soundwave wince as Skywarp barreled into the throne room.  Apparently, along with his loud voice, he also had loud emotions.  To his credit, Skywarp let his wings drop slightly in submission when he saw Megatron’s unamused look.

“Please… where is he?”

Shockwave answered him.  “He’s gone, Skywarp.  He went with the Autobots.”

The black seeker’s wings fell instantly behind his back as he stopped walking.  Megatron noticed him flip through a bunch of reactions in rapid succession before deciding on denial.  “What? No, he wouldn’t have gone-” he started, but then stopped himself. 

“But he did.  Apparently willingly.” Megatron crossed his arms across his chest, the heft and weight of his ion canon particularly noticeable.  It had been a gift from Starscream back when they were on better terms.  He frowned and then purged that thought as quickly as he could.  “Do we know why he went with them?”  He looked to Shockwave who had apparently been the last one to speak to him.

“My lord, he didn’t give a reason.  But he was not entirely sure this is what he wanted to do.”  Shockwave sounded resigned and maybe quieter than usual.

Skywarp grimaced.  “It was because of the Combaticons,” he snarled.  “They were in charge of him and somehow he got hurt.  I know they did something.”

“Soundwave?” Megatron asked, arching an optic-ridge.

“Footage: incomplete.  Pending check-in from cassettes.”

Skywarp sighed.  “I don’t know what they said to him or what they did but sir, he got hurt and then he saw Thundercracker and then decided to leave? It can’t be a coincidence!  He’s not defecting, he’s just misguided-”

Megatron cut him off by holding up a black servo.

He stepped forward until he was standing beside Skywarp and started talking in low tones.  “I need you to keep it together, solider.  Your Air Commander is out of commission for at least two weeks while he recovers from his wounds.  The rest of my army is in shambles from this cowardly attack.  If the Combaticons were responsible for Starscream’s misjudgment, they will be dealt with accordingly.  Can I rely on you to control the seekers while we formulate our next moves?”

Skywarp’s flicked his pained optics up at Megatron.  He had not realized how close Skywarp and likely Thundercracker had become to this new version of Starscream in such a short amount of time, and it surprised him.  Starscream had always treated his trine as expendable grunts, though Megatron had gathered it hadn’t always been that way.  Seekers and trines were still somewhat mysterious to him, and the nuances of their culture escaped him, but it did appear that Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker had been closer to the traditional definition of the trine before they had joined the Decepticons.

Megatron had always wondered what had changed.

For a brief moment, Megatron feared he had lost the sincere devotion of one of his most loyal soldiers.  The same solider who had awakened him first before all others on the Ark when they first woke up.  He looked almost mutinous and all because Megatron was telling Skywarp to get over Starscream’s treachery.  “Are we going to get him back?”  There was such hopefulness his face then.  A pleading and aching look.

Megatron hesitated for a moment.  “He belongs with the Decepticons, not with he Autobots.  We’ll develop plans and keep you apprised.”

“Thank you, my lord.” His voice had true gratitude and relief in it.  “He’s not… a traitor, sir.”

Ah. So that was the problem.  Skywarp worried that when they got Starscream back that he would be punished and treated like any other defector in their ranks.  Megatron’s optics blazed.  “You mean he’s not a traitor anymore,” he said irritably.  He waved his servo in dismissal.

Skywarp paused a moment longer and then bowed.  He walked out with his wings still low behind him.

The truth was that he had seen this coming.  The new Starscream was very naïve, and it did not surprise him that the Autobots had managed to poison him so quickly even with just a few honeyed words.  Megatron had originally decided to shield Starscream and protect him as he had promised, but he had seen how the seeker had started to ingratiate himself into the army and had started win his mechs over.  Megatron himself had been thrown off guard by Starscream’s change in nature, and he knew not to completely trust it. 

Starscream might not be able to hurt anyone, but he was still dangerous.

Megatron had intended to start exerting his own influence on Starscream and molding him to his will, but the Autobots had beat him to the punch.  Yet… all was not lost.

“This could work in our favor,” he said lowly.

Whereas Starscream at this moment would have called him a fool, Soundwave and Shockwave waited patiently for him to fill them in on his plan.  He wasn’t sure which reaction was better.

“I don’t think the Autobots are going to be as accommodating as Starscream has been led to believe.  They will try, I think.  But he is very… observant, isn’t he? He will notice the same kinds of hypocrisy that Prime has shown to us lately.  He will see that they are just using him.”

If his two remaining officers noticed the odd quality of his voice as his said this, they didn’t comment.

“And… we have his trine.  It seems they are much closer now than they were previously.  Surely he will want to come back for them?”

“That might be partly why he chose to leave my lord,” Shockwave said.  “To protect them.  And perhaps others here he has formed a bond with.  The Autobots withdrew as soon as Starscream agreed to go with them.”

Megatron narrowed his optics.  Shockwave was likely right, but it was still odd to be thinking about Starscream caring for anyone other than himself.  “They aren’t going to stop attacking his trine on the battlefield just because he let them kidnap him.  So, we’ll just have to help him realize it.”  He turned and walked back to the throne.  “The problem will be Skywarp and Thundercracker. We need them to be distracted and not realize we aren’t going to rescue him right away.”

Shockwave tilted his helm in confusion.  “We won’t be?”

Megatron gave him a calculating look.  “No.  We are going to respect his wishes, even if we know they are wrong.  As much as don’t want Prime to have what he wants, I also want him hang on the noose of his own making.  Starscream is a distraction, for more than just us it appears.”  His words were meant to cut, and he saw that they did as Shockwave flinched just a little.

Megatron turned his gaze to Soundwave.  “I need you to leak to the other faction what happened, and make the leak look an accident.  We need to do this before Prime contacts them.  We need to appear weak, reeling from this loss.”

“As you command,” Soundwave replied.

Megatron walked back to his throne and took a seat, tenting his servos as he thought.  “I’m hoping Prime has done enough damage that even we can look righteous by comparison.  I’m not sure how easy Skyfire will be to manipulate here, but it’s worth a shot.”  He looked at Soundwave, and nodded, dismissing him.

“Shockwave.  We have… much to discuss.”

The door closed behind Soundwave with an audible click.

Notes:

A lot of set-up in this chapter :) Thank you again to everyone who is commenting and kudo-ing- And I'm still trying to catch up on responding to comments. It's been a tough couple of weeks and the response to this fic makes me so happy- but I LOVE hearing from you and what you think. :D <3 Thank you so much!

Chapter 18: Better and Worse

Notes:

HUGE thank you to @Tac for beta-ing this one for me! I OWE YOU MY LIFE lol

In this chapter- things get better AND get worse at the same time! :D lol

Starscream didn’t like the Ark.  It was too quiet.

Quiet was not something he expected here.  The Decepticon base had always been loud with fights and raucous laughter.  He had never had time to fully investigate the base though, and so much of it had been a mystery to him. 

Now he wondered if he would ever see it again.

When they arrived, Optimus had quietly escorted him in, always watching him and seemingly on the cusp of asking him something, but never quite getting to it.  It made Starscream anxious. 

Jazz was nowhere in sight.  He had kind of hoped that they would let him be “handled” by Jazz during… whatever they were going to call this.  Jazz he knew.  He might not agree with Jazz’s decisions or thought processes, but he understood them.  He could not figure this Prime out.

The Autobots loved their Prime; that much was obvious.  They looked at him with admiration and it was not unlike the kind of looks that the Decepticons gave Megatron, but it was different.  They didn’t seem to fear him.

But the Decepticons did fear the Prime.  And Starscream wasn’t sure whether he had need to fear him or not.

His trine had tried to give him a history of the war and a description of the conflict, but he knew they weren’t exactly historians.  There were millions of years of history that could hardly be summed up in a few conversations; there were nuances, events that even his trinemates didn’t understand, and they admitted to him that there were some biases.  In the end, Starscream was left with more questions than answers.

Shockwave had been a great source of these answers, but they always seemed to run out of time.

He was told Optimus Prime was someone to be avoided at all costs, chiefly because of his new and odd interest in bringing Starscream over to his side of the conflict.  But here Starscream was, walking beside him, in his… “care.”  His plating was crawling, and he tried to hide his tension by flicking his wings.

Optimus stopped in the hallway and hailed a young-looking bot over.  “Starscream, this is Bluestreak. He will be helping to take care of you while you are here.”  He looked to be to be a car-alt… who oddly wasn’t blue at all.  He looked a little nervous but smiled uncomfortably. 

“I will leave you with him; please stay close to him.  We will talk more tomorrow.  I have a favor to ask of you.”

Starscream tried to keep his face impassive.  Would this be his fee for staying here?  He gave a small nod.

“Ratchet said you were hungry.  Let’s get you some energon,” Bluestreak said, walking with him down the corridor.  Starscream could feel the blue optics of the Prime watching him as they left.

Starscream noticed that no matter where he went, mechs watched him carefully and then would start to whisper amongst themselves.  Most of the looks weren’t hostile, he observed.  Occasionally he saw a flicker of distrust but mostly the looks were curious and watchful.

Sadly, he remembered the same thing at the Decepticon base.  At least then he had his trine.

“You okay?” Bluestreak said before they entered into what looked to be the canteen.  “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Just… processing,” Starscream said. 

“You used to be a lot louder,” Bluestreak observed, laughing nervously.

“I used to be a lot of things.  Apparently.”

Bluestreak raised his optic-ridges at that but then just nodded and escorted him in.  Bluestreak got them two cubes and handed one to Starscream before guiding them to the far corner. They were out of the way, much to his relief.  Starscream didn’t touch his cube, choosing to observe the other mechs.

“I’m going to be honest here and say that I expected you to be… different,” Bluestreak said.  His blue optics looked at him with something like concern.  “Louder maybe?  Complaining?  Like you’ve barely said ten words at all.  Or touched your energon.”

Starscream looked down at the cube in front of him.  “I don’t need it.”

“Ratchet said you were underfueled.”

Starscream tamped down some irritation and flicked his optics up at Bluestreak.  “Will you make me consume it if I don’t want to drink it?”

Bluestreak stilled a little at the tone of his voice.  “No,” he sighed.  “No, we aren’t going to make you do anything like that.”

Starscream nodded.  “Well, we shall see, won’t we?  I have a feeling you all have the best of intentions, but it might not always... work out.”

Bluestreak knitted his brow and looked down into his energon.  “Instead of the ‘Cons who have the worst intentions for everything they do?”

Starscream bit his glossa.  He wasn’t about to debate war politics and factions with this mech since he still didn’t quite understand them himself.  Looking around, other than a lot more red and white colors schemes, there wasn’t much difference in how the mechs looked at him.  More endless faces that he didn’t know watching him with expectations of what he used to be.

“Bluestreak, thank you for the energon, but I am quite tired.  Please, can you tell me where I will be recharging?” he asked as pleasantly as he could muster.

Bluestreak nearly spit his energon.  Perhaps he was too polite.  That had been something Skywarp had told him to tone down at little-

Skywarp.

He tried to keep his face impassive, but it was impossible.  He looked down at his servos folded neatly on the table, and his mind drifted to thinking about what he had done.

“I’ll take you there soon,” Bluestreak replied.  “You probably need some rest.  Ratchet just needs us to stop by the medbay and pick up some more pain patches for you.  Do your wounds still hurt?”

Starscream thought about it and didn’t really see the need to lie.  “They do.  Is that… normal?”

Bluestreak’s expression softened.  “Let’s… get you to Ratchet.  You can take your energon with you for later.”

When they rose, the light murmuring of the canteen quieted down for a moment. Everyone stared at Starscream for a few moments and then went back to their conversations.

They walked down the orange hallways in silence and Starscream was actually happy for it.

 

---

 

“We will need to remove those,” the mech named Red Alert said, his tone tight.  He was pointing to Starscream’s null-rays.

“I can’t even turn them on,” Starscream replied neutrally.  “I can’t use them.”

“Then you won’t mind if we remove them, then.”

Starscream just looked at him and then at Ratchet, who gave him a shrug.  Starscream didn’t really want to lose them.  They were part of his identity as a seeker even if they were worthless.  Every seeker he had ever met had these rays.  He had never learned the significance of them, if they were important, and why he had them. 

He didn’t think the Autobots would have answers for him, so… he might never know.

He dared another beat of reluctance and then sighed.  Starscream supposed he had to get used to doing things he didn’t want to do with the Autobots until they… what, trusted him?  Who needed to trust who, here?  He reached up and deactivated the magnetic locks that kept them in place and took them off his upper arms. He held them out for Red Alert to take.  “Please don’t destroy them,” he asked quietly.

Red Alert narrowed his optics suspiciously at him, but then reached out and took the null-rays.  “You will need to have a security briefing tomorrow,” he retorted and then left the medbay without another word.

“I’m afraid you had history with him,” Bluestreak said.

“I get that a lot,” Starscream replied, feeling oddly vulnerable without the weight of the null-rays on his arms. 

Ratchet pulled out some pain patches and placed one on Starscream’s wing and the other near his thigh.  “These will numb the areas for a little while until the nanites have done their job.” Ratchet then gave a significant look to Bluestreak and threw his helm, indicating the door.  Bluestreak hesitated and then nodded, walking away from them while closing a curtain around the medical berth Starscream was perched on.

“Starscream, do you mind if I ask you some questions?  Just some things I need to put in your file.”

Starscream immediately knew that he was going to be uncomfortable with this line of questioning.  He glanced at the medical curtain, cutting off his escape to the door.  Ratchet was trying to appear non-threatening, but Starscream could see the tension in his neck.  He also didn’t think he actually had a choice in answering these questions.  “Of course,” he said easily.  “Ask away.”

Ratchet looked up from his datapad with suspicious optics, as if submitting to the request without complaint was suspect.  “Physically you appear to be well.  I wondered how you were doing mentally?”

“I… don’t understand your meaning.”

“By our accounts, the Decepticons erased your memories about two months ago, so you haven’t had a lot of time learning about how things work.  Living with the Decepticons could not have been easy on you. Frankly, we realized too late that letting you stay and develop with the Decepticons was a mistake.”

Ah, so it was common knowledge that his memories had been taken from him on purpose.  That was a wound he hadn’t had time to ruminate over, and now reminded of it, it stung.  “I was a Decepticon before, right?  And I was here when I was altered, correct?”

Ratchet sighed, picking up on his hidden meaning.  “Yes.  And you were in the Decepticons’ care when the Combaticons used you as a living shield against us.”

Starscream shrugged.  “It would appear that no matter where I go, I am in danger then.  It seems to be the nature of my new existence.” 

Ratchet clearly heard the acid in his tone.  “Look, I’m not going to debate with you about who is better; I just want to understand how to help you.  And I’m really not built to be a therapy bot, but I might be the closest you are ever going to get.  So.  Did anything happen with the Decepticons that we should be made aware of?”

Starscream folded his too-light arms across his chest.  “Like… what?  I’m not trying to be difficult, I legitimately do not understand what you are asking me.”

Ratchet sighed.  “Other than the Combaticons, did anyone ever… hurt you?  Either physically or emotionally?  Did they lie to you or manipulate you into anything you didn’t want to do?”

Starscream stared at Ratchet for a long moment before looking away.  He thought about trying to devise some clever story here to keep the Autobots guessing; some ingenious series of lies or half-truths that would somehow still earn their trust and make them stop asking questions, but not actually make the Decepticons out to be bad.  He knew they weren’t, not actually.  But there were all kinds of colored lenses that everyone was wearing that no matter what he said, his words were going to be taken far beyond how he meant it.

“I find myself continually frustrated that no one who cares about me told me the truth from the start of my life. So, Ratchet.  If I tell you the truth, will you do me the same courtesy?”

Ratchet looked incredibly serious then and then nodded slowly.  “If I can’t tell you the truth, then I won’t answer the question.”

“Fair enough,” Starscream said.  “The truth is, I was not harmed while I lived with the Decepticons.  I need you to believe me on this, even if that is hard for you to grasp.”  His words increased a little in volume and speed.  “I was harmed the moment Mirage kidnapped me from the base, and I was harmed the moment I saw Thundercracker lying on a berth, unresponsive as the Constructicons tried to save his life.” Now he felt his fanged denta flashing as he spoke.  “You understand that both of these incidents were caused by Autobots trying to do the right thing for me.”  His wings flared, and his optics glowed in intensity, and he was angry-

And then it was gone.  The feeling subsided, his optics dimmed, his wings fell behind him, and he couldn’t say anything more on the subject.

“UGH!” he said in frustration, still quieter than intended.  “Why- why can’t I get angry Ratchet?!”

Ratchet blinked.  He tilted his helm and looked at him again.  “What do you mean?”

“I just- I can’t.  I get upset, and then it’s like… something switches off and everything comes out softer and kinder than I wanted it to.”

Ratchet sighed.  “That might be a side-effect of the program.  Do you… feel frustrated often?”

Starscream clenched his jaw.  “It seems that I used to be quite clever in my insults before, and my processor is still primed for them, but I can’t say them.”  He slowly relaxed the fists he didn’t realize he had made.  “It’s like I don’t want to upset anyone, even if what I need to say is the truth and would make me feel heard.”

Ratchet looked at him with pity.  “You don’t feel listened to?  What about Thundercracker or Skywarp?”

Starscream’s servos trembled.  “They… tried their best.”  His voice was very raw and gravelly.  “Is… there any way I can find out if Thundercracker is alright?  Or send them a message explaining to them why I did this?”

Ratchet watched him for a few long seconds.  “I don’t know if either one of those will be possible, Starscream.  But I do promise to ask Optimus about it.”

Starscream’s spark hurt then in his chest, and he had to bite back a lump of emotion from erupting from his throat.  “I think I made a mistake,” he said quietly.  “I shouldn’t have left.”

Ratchet blessedly gave him a few moments to collect himself.  “Why did you leave?”

Starscream looked down at the ground.  “I knew you wouldn’t stop attacking until I did.  TC was hurt so badly, and there were tons of other wounded coming in.  Everyone knew why you had invaded the base, and while no one took it out on me, I still… felt it,” he said bitterly.  “However, there were other things.”  He heaved a sigh and bit the inside of his cheek before continuing.  “I’ve talked with Shockwave a lot about my condition, and we found some strange limitations that made it increasingly difficult for me to be around the Decepticons.”

Ratchet had a brief look of alarm when he mentioned Shockwave.  “Did Shockwave… experiment on you at all?”

Starscream narrowed his optics.  “We worked together to learn about my condition.  But… experiment on me?  What are you saying?”  There was some offense in his voice.

Ratchet put up a placating servo.  “It is clear to me, Starscream, that you had a different experience with the Decepticons than I am traditionally used to.  Shockwave has a reputation for conducting experiments on ‘Bots and ‘Cons alike if it suits him.”

Starscream opened his mouth to protest and defend Shockwave.  But he stopped himself realizing that yet again, there was just so much that he did not know or understand about everything, that he would just have to try and find out the answers for himself.  “Shockwave never hurt me.”  It was a tiny lie, and one that he was happy to tell.  They wouldn’t understand the context.

“I am glad to hear it,” Ratchet replied.  “Can you talk to me about some of the limitations that you discovered?”

Starscream told him about the experiments he and Shockwave had gone through with trial and error, explaining about his inability to harm inanimate objects (or “property” as Shockwave had eventually determined) on purpose.  There were strange nuances to his interactions with other sentient beings, being that he could not willfully harm anyone, and if he was forced to harm someone, he was still “punished” with an unpleasant tingling in his frame.  He could easily be restrained by someone just touching him or lightly holding him.  Flying appeared to be unhindered, but they had theories as to why.

Ratchet took meticulous notes.  His brow increasingly furrowed as time went on, and he started muttering dark curses under his breath as Starscream described how he interacted with the world. 

“And therein lies my problem,” Starscream said, drained of his energy after explaining all of this.  “The Decepticons are physical, and love to fight for the fun of it.  Just a canteen brawl was almost a major problem for me.  Someone… tried to physically manipulate me and it was only because I could talk them out of it that it was prevented. 

“Shockwave said I might fit in better with the Autobots, and I’ve secretly thought the same thing.”

Ratchet had clenched his jaw and slowly lowered the datapad.  He searched Starscream’s optics and let the silence fill the space between them for a moment.  “But you still feel like you made a mistake.”

Starscream was so tired.  He knew he should probably be guarding himself more as he didn’t know this Ratchet and whether he could trust him, but he knew he was completely vulnerable and exhausted.  “I betrayed them,” he said with a quiet voice.  “They took care of me, they taught me how to fly again, they love me.  And I still left them.”

“Skywarp and Thundercracker?”

“Yes.  Them.” He paused, letting the words sink in for a moment before sighing.  “But honestly?  There were others as well.  Ramjet, Rumble, Shockwave.  Even Megatron was… actually, I never quite figured Megatron out.”

Ratchet gave him a strange look at that and put his datapad down.  This Ratchet seemed older in a way than anyone else he had met, and Starscream found himself happy for it.  “I am not going to tell you that you made the right decision or made a mistake.  You are going to have to determine that for yourself.  But it does seem that you have a lot more agency and understanding of a mech’s nature than we were giving you credit for.  We will try to not underestimate you and your abilities, or your capacity to know your limits.”

Starscream stared at Ratchet for a long time, and then closed his optics.  He hadn’t realized he needed to hear those words at that moment.  Thundercracker and Shockwave had said something similar to him, and he was afraid he had lost any hope of someone saying it to him again.

“Thank you, Ratchet,” he replied with relief.

Ratchet nodded gruffly and stood, pulling away the curtain.  “I’ve bothered you enough with these questions.  Bluestreak will take you to your quarters.”

Starscream nodded and went to the door of the medbay, where Bluestreak nodded at him nervously and escorted him away.

 

---

 

“So, I’ll be back at 0800 in the morning,” Bluestreak was saying just inside the his new quarters.  It was nice and clean, and did not smell of rust and damp.  The berth was definitely big enough for him, but it was still smaller than he was used to.

He… had to take a moment to think about that.

“Here, I’ll give you my private comm frequency,” Bluestreak said, sending him a ping.

“I’m afraid my comms are still disabled.”

“Oh.  Uh.  Well, you can still use this terminal here.”  He tapped a little display screen on the wall by the door.  “You can just find my name in here and contact me that way.  Please… contact me.  If you need anything.”

Starscream could hear the sincerity in his voice and smiled softly.  “I don’t think I will need anything, Bluestreak, but I will keep that in mind.”

“Yeah, I totally understand.  You must be terribly exhausted, I can only imagine!  It’s been a long day for all of us, but wow, yeah, it must be terrible for you.  I think you are incredibly brave for coming with us, and I can’t even begin to think how you must feel about us or what the Decepticons told you but I really want to tell you we are going to try and make this right for you so that you feel welcomed and safe and accepted by us!  We all feel responsible and though some were mad about how we planned to help you, I think they will see that we did the best thing for you and you will see we are trying our best and I think that might be all we can do in the end.”

Starscream’s optics were wide by then, and once Bluestreak had stopped he clamped a servo over his mouth.  “I… am so sorry.  I do that.  On occasion,” he mumbled through his digits.

Starscream huffed a small laugh.  “It was… a lot,” he said.  “But that’s not all a bad thing.”

“Oh, thank Primus.  Thanks, Star!”

Starscream stilled.  “…Star?”

“Oh yeah sorry, we all like to shorten our names.  Do you prefer ‘Screamer?” he said with a laugh.

Starscream kept his face impassive, trying not to think of who else called him Star.  “I think… I just want to be called Starscream for now.”

Bluestreak shrugged.  “Okay.  Sleep well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  He left and the door snicked shut behind him.

Starscream was truly alone for the first time in a while.  He stared at the berth, trying not to think about where he had been just a couple of hours ago, sleeping with Skywarp before he gently woke him to warp out of danger.

He wasn’t sure what it was going to be like to sleep alone.  Do all the Autobots sleep alone?  Would it be… weird for him to ask that question?  Probably.  It would probably sound sexual, and Starscream didn’t even want to think about that right now.  Was there… platonic cuddling?  Primus.

It appeared he had his own private washracks that he didn’t have to share with anyone, so he took advantage of it.  The water was extremely clean and warm, and the solvent was of high quality; he actually felt cleaner than he ever had in his short life.

The Autobots had some more luxuries than he expected.  He wasn’t sure what that meant.

He finished and dried off, going back into the main room and staring at the berth again.  He was exhausted, and every bolt and strut he had was tense and tired.  He needed to recharge.  But the thought of being in the berth was still unappealing. 

Finally, he crawled into the berth and laid there, staring up at the ceiling, trying not to think about how cold it was.

 

Chapter 19: You Keep Saying That

There was a soft rapping at his door the next morning.  He slowly got up from the berth, trying to blink away the sleepiness from his optics. 

“Come in,” he said softly.

Bluestreak came in all smiles and brightness.  “Good morning!  Did you recharge well?”

Starscream gave a tiny smile.  “Yes, thank you,” he lied.  “And you?”

“Oh me?” Bluestreak laughed, putting his servo behind his helm in embarrassment.  “Frankly, I always sleep like a rock, so yeah it was good.  Thanks for asking!” He indicated the door and walked out into the hallway, and Starscream followed right behind.  Bluestreak brought out a cube of energon from subspace and handed it to him.  “Hopefully you are a little hungrier today?”

Starscream slowly nodded, drinking down the energon with gusto.  It was far tastier than he was used to, and his optic-ridges went up in surprise.  “Your energon tastes great!”

Bluestreak looked confused for a moment.  “I guess if you say so,” he said with a shrug.  “Never really thought about it, but the humans help us get access to the best energy sources, so that’s probably why it tastes better than what the Decepticons have.”

“Ah… yes. The humans… are the natives to this planet?”

Bluestreak blinked at him and then nodded.  “Yeah, and they are our friends.  If you see one running around, be careful not to step on them; we have a few that come to the base.”

Starscream wondered how his program would interpret the humans, but he guessed it would probably be along the same lines as “property.”  “I have a feeling they would be safe from me.”

Bluestreak smiled.  “Well, that’s a relief at least.  I kind of like them.” He worried on his bottom lip a little.  “So, uh, is there anything in particular you want to see?”

Starscream raised an optic-ridge.  Bluestreak actually sounded a little nervous about asking the question and Starscream wasn’t sure how he should respond.  “Do you have… a laboratory?”

“Oh yeah, I can take you there,” Bluestreak said, sounding relieved.  “There are going to be certain places that I can’t take you yet.”

“Why is that?” he asked gently, feeling like he knew the answer anyway.  He was still curious how this Bluestreak was going to answer.

Bluestreak struggled to reply and Starscream stifled a smile.  “It’s not that we don’t trust you, but…”

“But I used to be someone untrustworthy,” he said, allowing himself to smile now.  Bluestreak gave him a pained side-glance and Starscream almost laughed at how pathetic he looked.  “I’m not surprised or offended.  Just tell me where I am allowed to be, and I will follow your guidance.”

Bluestreak’s look softened.  “You know, I was really upset when they assigned me to you.  I really don’t like seekers,” he said quietly.  “But you are making it easy for me, and I appreciate it.”

Starscream shrugged.  “I only know a little bit about what it is to be a seeker, so I’m not sure I qualify as one.  Why don’t you like them?”

Bluestreak looked down at the ground as they walked.  “Seekers were the leading force that destroyed Praxus, my home.  I… I am pretty sure you and your trine were there.  Seekers have kind of terrified me ever since.”

Starscream absorbed this information and tried to figure out how to reply.  It was unfortunate that there were so many gaps in his historical knowledge of the war since he didn’t know if Bluestreak was telling the truth (probably), if there was a reason the seekers had invaded Praxus (also probably), and if it led a whole slew of other misunderstandings (definitely). 

Still.  Pain was pain.

“I am sorry you lost your home,” he said after a moment.  “That can’t be easy.  And then to be assigned as my handler… well.  You have had your difficulties lately, haven’t you?”

Bluestreak huffed a laugh and nodded.  “I know I keep saying it,” Bluestreak said with a small smile, “but you are nothing like you were before.  You’re much better.”

Starscream had the small, bitter thought that no one really knew him before, but at least he was in familiar territory with Bluestreak now.  Many of the Decepticons had said something similar.  “It makes you wonder how much your experiences in life affect you.  Right now, I only have a month of memories and they were… mostly pleasant.  Therefore maybe… I am pleasant?”

Bluestreak smirked.  “You’re probably right.  I know losing Skyfire changed you a lot.”

Starscream froze and Bluestreak had to turn around to look at him in the hallway.  “…who?” Starscream asked in a small voice.

“Skyfire.  You two were exploration partners.”

Starscream immediately thought of the holocube he had seen in his quarters and tried to smooth his shock.  “Are they… here?”

Bluestreak had that look of pain again.  “Erm.  No.  But he might come back now that you are here.  Optimus will be able to talk to you more about it.”

Starscream swallowed his disappointment and nodded.  It was likely that this Skyfire knew him.  The real him.  The one that everyone seemed to have forgotten about as it was covered over by an abrasive, posturing glitch that he had inherited his name and body from.  “I have a lot of questions,” Starscream said quietly.

Bluestreak grimaced at the look on his face.  “I’m sure you do.  I know I would!  I can’t imagine losing all of my memories and waking up in this war, it must be terrible.  And you wake up disabled too, and back into the care of the faction that did it to you, even if it was by accident-” Bluestreak started babbling.  He was nervous and Starscream thought it was probably because he looked despondent.

“Bluestreak, it’s alright,” he said calmly.  “I’m… okay.  Really.”

Bluestreak took a deep invent and then nodded as he exvented, the tension leaving his frame.  “I really want you to like it here,” he said quietly.  “It would mean a lot.”

Starscream opened his mouth to ask him to clarify when there was a shaking BOOM that shook the walls of the base.  Starscream startled and put his back to the wall.

“What was that?  Are you being attacked?”

Bluestreak looked completely unfazed.  “No…” he said with an embarrassed sigh. “That was our lab.”

“…What?”

Bluestreak flicked his optics to Starscream and then sighed again starting to walk forward.  “Yeah, that was probably Wheeljack.”

Starscream absorbed that for a moment and then followed Bluestreak down the hall towards the smell of smoke.

 

---

 

“THAT was fun!” a white and black mech with his back to them shouted as they entered the laboratory. Two other mechs were slowly getting up from under their tables while covering their helms with their servos.  An exploded device was smoking on a lab table with shards of metal embedded in the walls around them.  The mechs gave the first mech withering looks and pointed at Bluestreak and Starscream at the door.

“What?” he said before turning around.  “Oh boy.  Uh.  First impressions. Right.”

Bluestreak stifled his chuckling poorly.  “Starscream, this is our laboratory.  These mechs are our resident scientists.  You have Perceptor, Beachcomber, and-“

“Name’s Wheeljack, also known as the blower-upper of things,” the masked mech said.  His finials lit up when he spoke, which Starscream thought was unique.  “Pleasure to meet you again, Starscream.”

Starscream inclined his helm in response and looked around the room.  A lot of the equipment was familiar to him now, but they looked to be in much better condition than the ones back in “his” lab that Shockwave had shown him.

“Are you interested in science?”  Wheeljack asked, his optics bright and curious.

“I seem to have a knack for it, apparently.”  He stepped in closer to get a better look at a piece of equipment he had never seen before.  “I do have certain limitations though.  I can’t purposely break anything but running tests and experiments seemed to go well when I tried it back with the Decepticons.

Perceptor stepped closer to him, his field curious and friendly.  “Who were you working with?”

“Shockwave.”

And there was that same look that Ratchet had given him.  It was pity, shock, and maybe a little bit of morbid curiosity.  He could see the questions forming in their minds and Starscream’s plating began to bristle. 

“Well, he is certainly qualified,” Perceptor said, quietly.

Before Starscream could quip something rude back, Wheeljack stepped closer.  “You learn anything interesting?”  he asked, genially.

Starscream had come to realize when he was being “handled,” especially from Skywarp and Thundercracker, but at this moment he didn’t mind it as much as usual.  He was still trying to figure out how he fit in with everyone here and trying to clear Shockwave’s name was likely not going to win him any immediate friends.  “There's not much in here that I'm unfamiliar with I suppose.  I think I can run most of them for analysis of samples and things, but… this thing? I’m not sure what this is.”

“Oh!  This is nuclear magnetic resonance spectrometer.  I’m surprised the Decepticons didn’t have one, but maybe they just hadn’t stolen one yet.  The humans got us this one since most of our stuff got ruined in the crash.” 

Starscream’s optics widened in surprise.  “You work with the natives on your experiments?”

“Oh yeah we consult with them on a lot of different projects! I imagine the Decepticons didn’t do that a lot,” Wheeljack said with a small chuckle.

Starscream hadn’t realized how differently the two factions treated the natives.  Skywarp had made it seem like they were pests, but the Autobots had clearly made alliances with them to the point of getting better energon and better equipment.  As usual, the more he learned, the more questions he had.

“Oh scrap,” Bluestreak said.  “Sorry, Starscream, we gotta go.  Red Alert is gonna kill me if we’re late.”

Bluestreak was pushing him out of the lab, and Starscream looked over his shoulder to see Wheeljack giving a funny wave goodbye.  Starscream waved back.

 

---

 

“So you don’t remember anything?  Nothing at all?”

Starscream tilted his helm and looked at this Red Alert whose field was quite angry and suspicious, and with a faceplate that matched.  “I really don’t remember anything from before I woke up a month ago.  Sometimes it seems my frame remembers some things, like flying, but honestly, nothing else.”

At least he was being nicer about his suspicions than the Combaticons had been.

“What did the Decepticons make you do while there?”

The question was phrased… oddly.  “They didn’t make me do anything,” he started, confused.  “I tried to find ways to be useful which was mostly monitor duty and observing trainings.”

“What were some of the tactics that were used during these trainings?”

Starscream hesitated and looked to Bluestreak, but he didn’t have much guidance.

“I’m… I’m not sure I want to answer this question.”

Red Alert’s optics flicked from his data-pad and looked up at Starscream. He narrowed his optics and glared for a few moments.  “I need you to answer this, Starscream.  It’s a matter of security.”

Starscream swallowed.  “I’m… sorry, but no.”

He sighed and then commed someone.  “Bluestreak, you can go.”

“What? No, I’m good, I can stay.”  Bluestreak looked to Starscream with concern.

Red Alert affixed him with a glare.  “Fine, just… don’t get in Jazz’s way.”

“Jazz?” Bluestreak said, worriedly. 

The door opened and Jazz strode in with a calm smile.  “Relax everybody, no need to get worked up over little old me,” he said cheerfully.  He sat down across from Starscream, after flipping the chair around to sit in it backwards. 

“Heya ‘Screamer, how you doing?”

Starscream’s optics flitted around the three mechs who were staring at him and his wings twitched nervously.  “Did… did I do something wrong?”

Jazz drew back for a second before finding his composure again.  “No, no, you’re fine.  It’s all good so far.  But we have to ask you some questions that you might not feel comfortable with, but it’s really important that you answer them to the best of your ability.”

Starscream’s spark had begun to flutter in his chest.  “I don’t want to say anything that would put someone I care about at risk.”

“But you defected,” Red Alert ground out.  “We need this information in order to protect you.”

Starscream stared at them for another moment and then shook his helm.  “I’m sorry you were under the impression that I defected for political reasons.  That’s not why I’m here.” He tried to relax his wings behind him with moderate success.  “I don’t know or understand the war enough to have a political opinion, so I’m not going to give you information that could be used against them.  I defected mostly because you didn’t give me much of a choice, but also because maybe I’d… fit in more here in a cultural sense.”

The corner of Jazz’s mouth twitched with a small smile, but Red Alert looked like his optics were going to burst out of his helm.  “This is RIDICULOUS.  You decide to be loyal now? After how they treated you?  Starscream, you need to give us some information, please!  It could mean life or death for one of ours-”

“I’m sorry,” Starscream repeated.  “I truly am, but I can’t talk about tactics or the war effort of the Decepticons if it would lead to the death of one of them.”

“Is that the program talking, or you?” Jazz asked with a smirk.

Starscream coolly looked back at him.  “They are one in the same, Jazz.”

Jazz nodded.  “Fair enough,” he said.  “Let’s continue with the debrief, Red.”

Red Alert sighed.  “You’re still so stubborn,” he said under his breath.  “Starscream: you will need to be escorted by Bluestreak around the base at all times when you are not in your quarters until you have been properly evaluated for your own safety and the safety of others.  In addition, you will not be permitted in certain areas of the base, outlined here on this map.  You will not be permitted to wield weapons-”

“I can’t.”

Red Alert paused, irritated.  “Regardless, you can’t wield any weapons.  You also cannot have any contact with any Decepticons during your stay here.”

Starscream turned a glare to Jazz who just stared impassively back.  “None whatsoever?”

“Not unless sanctioned by Prime,” Jazz said.

Starscream clenched his fist a little, trying to maintain his composure.  Had he known he would never be able to speak to Skywarp and Thundercracker ever again, he might have made a different choice.  “You could have at least let me say goodbye to my trine.”

Both Red Alert and Bluestreak looked like they wished to be anywhere else but here.  Jazz looked up to the ceiling and then returned his gaze back to Starscream.  “You are right; I should have.  I’m sorry.”

Starscream felt a slight tingling sensation that told him he had been attempting to be purposefully mean to Jazz, but honestly, he didn’t care.  His optics pricked with some cleaner fluid at the unfairness of the whole thing, but he blinked it away in embarrassment.  “Anything else?” he croaked out.

“The humans are our allies, so treat them with respect.  And finally, you may not be taking the Autobot oath, but you cannot do anything that would undermine our goals or aide Decepticon ones.”

Starscream narrowed his optics at the vagueness in that rule.  But he nodded all the same. 

“I will send you a copy of the rules.  I’ve reactivated your comms.  Welcome to the Ark,” Red Alert said, standing and opening the door like he couldn’t stand to spend another moment in the same room as Starscream.

Jazz slowly got up from his seat too.  “I… am sorry, Starscream.”

“So you keep-” but he had to stop as the tingling flared, silencing him.  He just simply looked at the table and waited for Jazz to leave.  He hesitated a moment longer, and then left.

Bluestreak was the only one left with him in the room, and Starscream was actually happy for the mech’s presence in companionable silence.  Bluestreak wasn’t pushy or suspicious.  If anything, he was empathetic and kind.

“I… didn’t realize you were that close with Skywarp and Thundercracker.”

Starscream huffed a bitter laugh.  “I don’t think we had been until recently.  But they have been the best thing to happen to me since I woke up, and I… walked out on them.”

Bluestreak winced.  “That… must have been hard.”  He paused a moment and then tilted his helm thoughtfully.  “You didn’t sleep well at all, did you?”

Starscream’s wings betrayed him by dipping low.

“Come on,” Bluestreak said, standing.  “You have one more meeting and then… we are going to get drunk.”

 

---

 

Thundercracker opened his optics, staring up at the ceiling of the medical bay.  Nestled up beside was the warm and familiar frame of Skywarp, recharging softly in the berth that was far too small for both of them.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of Skywarp’s helm.

“He’s gone, TC,” Skywarp murmured quietly, clearly not as asleep as he had seemed.  “He left us for the Autobots.”

Thundercracker closed his optics and keeps his lips kissing his broken trinemate.  He heard it in his voice and felt it in his spark that Skywarp was despairing. Thundercracker has his own pain at the words, but he knew Skywarp feels things much stronger than he does.

“It’s not that simple, is it?” he said against Skywarp’s helm. 

Skywarp sighed.  “No.” The word is a small concession, and Skywarp shifted to turn around to look at him in the face.  “He left after he saw you were hurt.  And he made the Autobots leave with him.”

Thundercracker frowned but knew it was perfectly in character for the “new” Starscream.  He had walked into the gaping maw of unknown dangers to save TC and the rest of the Decepticons.  It didn’t surprise him.

“What is Megatron’s plan to get him back?”

Skywarp’s shoulders fell and he looked away.  This was disturbing because he looked… angry.  At Megatron.

“I don’t think he intends to get him back.  I just have… a feeling.”

Thundercracker looks down at his servos.  “Then frag Megatron.  What are we going to do?”

“I might have an idea,” Shockwave said from the doorway to Thundercracker’s recovery room.  Skywarp flinched and primed his null-rays, but Thundercracker placed a servo on his shoulder to try and calm him.

Thundercracker winced as some pain shot up his back but he got it back under control before affixing Shockwave with a stern look.  “Not sure we want to be talking about this with you, Shockwave.”

“Under normal circumstances, you might be right.  But these are not normal circumstances.”  Thundercracker noticed Shockwave did not look good.  His frame sported some fresh welds and his optic glass looked impossibly shiny, like it had recently been replaced.  “I leave for Cybertron tonight, so if you want my help, I will need to know soon.”

“Why do you want to help?” Skywarp said suspiciously.

Shockwave sighed, folding his arms.  His optic looked away.  “If Starscream wants to leave the Autobots, then he should have the chance.  I don’t think they are going to let him choose.  Please don’t force him though.”

Skywarp opened his mouth to protest but Thundercracker cut him off.  “We wouldn’t.  If he wants to stay, he can.  We just need to find out for sure.”

Shockwave bowed his helm in agreement.  “Then I think there is someone you should speak to.”

Chapter 20: The Wages of Ignorance

“Starscream, thank you for joining me,” Optimus said, rising from his seat behind his desk.  Bluestreak waited patiently outside the door to Starscream’s… disappointment.  “How have things been so far?”

Starscream sat down slowly in a chair in front of the desk.  “…Things are fine,” he said.  “No complaints.”

Optimus tilted his helm as he sat back down.  “Not even about Red Alert?”

Starscream shrugged, hiding some surprise that Optimus had already heard about that.  “He was just doing his job.  I’m sorry I couldn’t tell him what he wanted to know.”

“Your stance is… laudable; I understand that you don’t want them to get hurt.  I wish we could find a way to peacefully end this conflict, but I find myself increasingly out of options.  Especially now that the war has tipped in favor of the Decepticons.”

Starscream tensed.  This… was not exactly what he wanted to talk about.

“Things had been in a stalemate for a long time,” Optimus continued, his optics watching Starscream’s wings hike up higher on his back.  “The Autobots and Decepticons were pretty well-matched for numbers and quality of soldiers.  We also had the humans to thank for giving us an edge on resource collecting.  But that changed when Megatron brought in the Stunticons and you brought in the Combaticons.”

Starscream looked down at his servos that he had politely folded in his lap. 

“Megatron has three teams of combiners.  And while Devestator and Menasor are not the smartest of the bunch, Bruticus is.  The three of them wreak havoc and destruction wherever they go.  But we had Superion, and combined with the rest of our forces, we could match their small advantage.  We benefited from the Decepticon’s lack of coordination and their continued infighting.  Until the Aerialbots that form Superion left the Autobot faction with Skyfire.”

Starscream shifted quietly in the ensuing silence.  “I’m not sure what this has to do with me.”

Optimus’s optics glittered.  “Surely you have some guesses.”  He continued to give Starscream and unnerving stare and then sighed.  “It was not too long ago that you and I were in this room talking about what my officers had just done to you.  I offered to let you stay here, but you were chasing something else, I think, and went back to the Decepticons.”

Starscream clenched his jaw for a moment.  “And what do you think I was chasing?”

Optimus shrugged.  “I wish I knew.  I got the impression that you were not looking forward to your new state of being once the pacification program ran it’s full course.”  Optimus leaned back in his chair.  “Perhaps you wanted to try starting over with the mechs that were once your friends.  Maybe you were chasing a quick death.  Maybe you were chasing Megatron.  I cannot say.” 

Starscream wished again that he could just talk to the mech he used to be instead of having everyone else interpret him for him.

“After you left to go back to the Decepticons and the whole situation was brought to light, a lot of our flightframes protested what had happened to you.  But it was more than that.  They said that we as a faction should no longer be involved in this war at all.  We had crossed a threshold; that we had sunk so low that we would even consider pacification, even a temporary version of it, as a means to get ahead was unconscionable.”

Optimus sighed.  “And in the face of this criticism, I made a mistake.”

Starscream thought perhaps he should be impressed that Optimus could admit he made a mistake, but he found himself not caring.  A leader should admit when they were wrong, he thought.

“At first, I reprimanded Prowl and Jazz for their decision to try out the program on a prisoner of war, but then later I did not accept their resignations and I defended their decision to try and find a way to make the Decepticons less threatening.  They did what they thought was right, and I could not fault them for trying.  The Decepticons have done plenty of things that were worse, and I explained to Skyfire and his growing cohort of malcontent that sometimes even if we do the wrong things for the right reasons, the intention is still an important component to how things should be perceived.  I said that even if nothing else, this was a mistake that we could learn from.

“Skyfire asked me, what had I learned, exactly?  One thing that has been the same from the time before his accident to now was that certain mechs are considered expendable.  They are the other.  Flight frame.  Beastformer.  Decepticon.  It didn’t matter what it looked like now, but it seemed like we hadn’t learned anything from this war at all.

“I’ll be honest with you, Starscream. I had never really thought about it.  Any type of frame discrimination was not something that came up in my life before becoming Prime.  I never crossed paths with those that were affected and the people I interacted with said it wasn’t a big deal, that it was their own fault. 

“The wage of ignorance is pain.  I know this now.

“When Mirage tried to kidnap you to fix the problems developing despite our promises to leave you out of the future conflicts, Skyfire snapped.  He said I had no control over the Autobots.  He said that he could not condone any more behavior that would endanger you.  I demoted Jazz and Prowl to try and assuage them, but it didn’t matter.  Skyfire, the Aerialbots and a few others left to start a neutral faction.”

Starscream stilled and watched Prime carefully.  “I’m not sure you did yourself any favors by storming the Decepticon base then.  That seemed to endanger me more than anything else so far.”

Prime nodded.  “I understand why you would say that, but we didn’t have much choice.  Things have come to an impasse with Skyfire.  He’s no longer even listening to me, and the situation is untenable.  We had gotten word that there were additional dangers developing as well.  Bounty hunters have gotten wind about you, and… a pacified seeker is of high value.”

Starscream barked out a bitter laugh.  “Of course they are.  And you think I will be safer with the Autobots than the Decepticons?”

“Well, the Decepticons couldn’t seem to protect you.  Twice.”

Starscream’s optics blazed a little.  “They were doing an admirable job.  I chose to go with your soldiers.”

“You’re right.  You did.  And it was that decision that I want you to tell Skyfire about.  I didn’t want to sit here and debate the mistakes we have made up until now- we have made many, and we understand that.  But I can’t risk losing this war over one mech, Starscream, no matter how important you may be.

“But I do need your help.  I need you to try to convince them to come back to the fold.”

And that was what this was all about.  Starscream had a minor feeling of smug satisfaction at how severely it seemed the Autobots had fragged up here and they had really just done it to themselves.  They could blame the Decepticons, they could try and even blame the mech that Starscream used to be, but ultimately it was their fault, and they knew it.  But Starscream couldn’t really be content with this either as he needed to start treating the Autotbots as less of an enemy.  He might not want to actively help them against the Decepticons, but they were also sheltering and feeding him.

Still.  He wasn’t going to help them make more mistakes.

“Sir, if they believe that strongly in their conviction, I’m not sure my opinion will matter to them.  I’m not informed enough on this war to have any kind of debate with them that wouldn’t bring up my ignorance as a significant flaw.  I… don’t know if I can do what you are asking. You can’t change someone’s mind without evidence, and I just don’t have it.

“I’m not convinced that their minds need to be changed.  They… might be right.”

Optimus was not happy to hear these words, but he also wasn’t angry about it.  Optimus seemed like the antithesis to Megatron on this; he got what he wanted more through looking disappointed than getting angry.  “Time will help inform that opinion.  You’ll see how we are losing this war and bots that you’ll befriend will get hurt at the hands of the Decepticons. Then you might understand.  You will have the ability to change it.  To stop it.”

Starscream’s shoulders sagged.  Prime was shrewder than he looked.  Maybe he understood how pacification worked more than anyone else, and he knew exactly how to manipulate Starscream into doing what he wanted.  Because already, the thought of Bluestreak getting hurt didn’t exactly fill him with happiness.

Could he close himself off from getting close to anyone?  That would prevent him from being manipulated and serving to the whims of the Prime.  But deep down he knew he couldn’t do that.  His drive for connection to anyone was strong and he would not be able to stop seeking the closeness that he had lost.

“But I honestly don’t want it to get to that point,” Optimus continued. “So, I have a deal in mind: talk to Skyfire for me.  Explain to him why you came here- and please, tell him the truth.  Tell him about the Combaticons.  Explain to him how you are treated here, and how you are integrating.  I know it won’t be perfect, but I do think this will be a better place for you than the Decepticon base.  In return, I will get you in contact with your trine.  And maybe we can arrange to let you see them face to face, in person.”

Starscream knew he had lost this fight as soon as Optimus had mentioned his trine.  It wasn’t even a battle he truly believed in anyway; bringing the Aerialbots back into a faction and ideology that they may not believe in anymore frankly didn’t really concern Starscream one way or the other.  Still. He was surprised at how summarily he had just been beaten.

“Please don’t hold this over me,” Starscream started.  His voice was quiet.  “You hold all the power here, and I recognize that.  My situation is that I have to trust you to keep your word.  Please don’t promise me this and just keep stringing this out for the next thing you decide you want. I will pour my spark into talking to Skyfire to try to convince him to come back with your precious combiner, but please, please don’t promise me the ability to talk to mechs I love and then take it away again.  If you do, I promise you I will just call Skyfire and tell him to frag off.”

“Could you even do that?” Optimus said easily.  “Tell him to frag off?”

Starscream’s optics widened slightly.  Optimus had figured out a lot of the nuances of his condition and was throwing it back in his face.  “…Possibly.  I would certainly try to make it difficult for you.”

Optimus nodded.  “I promise you, the Autobots are honorable.  If there is a way to get in contact with your trine, I will do it.  All I need you to do is try and talk to Skyfire for me.”

Starscream looked down at the ground.  “I accept your deal then.  You must be very desperate.”

Optimus stood.  “You have no idea.” He watched Starscream carefully as he also rose from his seat.  “I am glad you are back here, Starscream.  And I know I am being heavy-handed with you, and I am sorry for it.  But I can’t let Megatron win this war.”

Starscream wondered what it would be like to be a leader of a faction.  Would he have made similar decisions regarding Starscream as Optimus and Megatron had done?  Would he have to make hard decisions that ultimately blew up in his own face?

There was a tiny part of him that thought he could do a better job than all of them.  But he didn’t have anything to base this on.  Besides, his condition would make things rather difficult to lead a people.

“I wish I could say I understand and that it was okay, but then I would be lying, sir.  But at the very least, I will go along with your plan to the best of my ability.”

Optimus paused for a moment and then nodded curtly.  Starscream took that as dismissal and left the room, with Bluestreak meeting him at the door.  It closed behind him and they began to walk down the hallway.

“Are you okay?” Bluestreak asked with concern.

Starscream tried release the tension in his wings.  “No,” he said with a smile.  “I don’t think I am.”

Bluestreak nodded.  “Talking with the big mech is intense.  Especially when he doesn’t have good things to say.”  He gently pat Starscream on the shoulder.  “But I have a plan to help you relax.  What is your favorite kind of high-grade?  Do you like additives or just straight?  We can get you whatever you want.”

Starscream tilted his helm.  “I’ve… never had high-grade.  At least as far as I can remember.”

Bluestreak’s optics went wide.

 

---

 

“Listen-“

“Absolutely not!  Get him the frag out of here.”

“No, but listen to me-”

“Bluestreak.  I’m warning you.  I don’t want to see him; I don’t want him near me.  It’s bad enough they assigned him to you, I just can’t.”

“Sunstreaker!  He’s never had high-grade before,” Bluestreak said, his smile lighting up his face.

Sideswipe actually paused.  “Wait, he’s had to have had some.  He’s like older than we are?”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t remember it!”

“Didn’t the ‘Cons give you any? I thought they got drunk all the time,” Sunstreaker sassed.

Starscream shrugged his shoulders.  “I guess it never came up,” he said looking at the wall of paintings.  “These… are amazing.  But they don’t look like the planet we are on.”

“… they are of Cybertron,” Sunstreaker groused.  “Don’t touch them.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Starscream said with a small smile, but still took a step back.  “I think I was going to get to go there soon before I left the Decepticons.  It would be nice to see it if it’s as pretty as your paintings.”

“It’s not,” Sunstreaker said angrily.  “This is from the past.  Before the fragging war.”

Starscream’s smile faded and he looked to Sunstreaker and then to Sideswipe.  “Oh,” was all he said.  “Sorry.”

“Regardless,” Bluestreak said.  “Let’s let loose a little tonight with some high-grade, okay?  It’ll be fun.”

Sunstreaker was still incredibly skeptical that drinking with a seeker could possibly be anything other than a problem, but one look to his brother who was already sold on the idea made him sigh in acceptance.  “Fine.  Come over after shift.”

Bluestreak squeaked in delight and gave Sunstreaker a huge hug.  “We’ll be there!  I gotta finish showing Starscream around for a little, but we’ll see you tonight.”

Sunstreaker huffed and pushed Blustreak off of him and out the door.  “Fine, sure, whatever,” he finished.  Starscream and Bluestreak smiled and turned to leave as the door closed.

“That was cute,” Sideswipe said, smirking. 

“Shut up,” he said, throwing an empty energon cube at his twin’s helm to raucous laughter.

 

---

 

“This is weird, TC,” Skywarp whined.  “I don’t like it.”

“I know,” Thundercracker said patting his trinemate on the back.  He wasn’t quite healed enough to leave the medbay, but even though he still hurt, he had to give it his best shot. 

Skywarp huffed.  “Who did you say we were meeting again?”

Shockwave turned to look at him with his optic.  “I didn’t.”

Thundercracker tried not to let Skywarp’s nervousness affect him, but he was right to be unnerved by the situation.  Shockwave had given them coordinates and said nothing about who they were meeting.  They had no way to prepare and Shockwave was a loose ally at best.

“He’s here,” Shockwave said as loud thrusters cut out nearby.

Skywarp made an angry noise.  “You are kidding me.”

“Good afternoon,” Skyfire said in his low, rumbling voice.  Thundercracker realized he shouldn’t be surprised, but at the same time… he was very, very confused.  He looked between Shockwave and Skyfire, his optics narrowing with thought.  He pulled a servo up to his helm as the mental strain trying to figure them out threatened to bring back the pain of his injuries.

“You two?  Really?” Skywarp said in a much more succinct way than Thundercracker had been planning.  He had to crack a tiny smile.  Trust ‘Warp to get to the heart of things quickly.

Shockwave nodded.  “Our partnership made sense once I started delving into Starscream’s condition more.  Skyfire had more knowledge than I did when it came to the history of pacification and the effects.”

“But… he’s an Autobot.”

“Not anymore,” Skyfire said.  Thundercracker noticed he wasn’t wearing a brand at all.  “But in some ways, I wish things had played out differently.  Optimus went after Starscream because when I left, the Aerialbots went with me.”

“And therein lies our plan,” Shockwave said.  “Optimus is going to try and use Starscream to get Skyfire and the rest of the new neutrals back into the fold.  We will have a way to try and confirm Starscream’s condition and well-being.”

Skyfire was looking down at the ground with his arms crossed.  He looked like he was weighing something in his mind and then looked up and saw that Thundercracker was staring at him.  He smiled softly.  “I’m sure he is alright.”

Skywarp huffed angrily.  “He’s not alright.  We’ve spent the past month getting to know him again and how his condition works; the Autobots know nothing.  He hasn’t been alone at all for all of his new life, and I guarantee they don’t know that.  He’s different and I know they are going to hold onto grudges, whether they mean to or not.  We couldn’t even seem to do it, and we’re his own damn faction!  The Autobots only care about him as some kind of… of honeypot or something!” he said angrily, throwing a servo at Skyfire.  “And you are so eager to get involved here- what exactly are your motivations?”

“‘Warp-”

“No, don’t ‘‘Warp’ me,” Skywarp said, his voice a little raw.  “I just want him back.”

Skyfire looked incredibly sad, almost as if he agreed with Skywarp but didn’t want to say it out loud.  “I… made a promise to Starscream before he lost his memory.  I would do anything to help his new self if I could.  I just want to hold up my end of that promise.”

Skywarp clenched his jaw and folded his arms angrily.  “Well.  That’s all we want, too.”

Thundercracker sighed.  “So if he is happy, then we agree to let him live his life as he has chosen.  If he is not… then what do we do?

Shockwave’s optic focused on Thundercracker and stayed there for a long moment.  “Skyfire and his neutrals will assist in a rescue operation under the guise of complying with Prime’s wishes.  But… I’m afraid even the Decepticons might not be a safe place for him anymore.”

“What?” Skywarp said incredulously.  “Of course it will be.”

Shockwave’s shoulders sagged just a little, and Thundercracker would have missed it if he weren’t paying close attention to him.  “Megatron is not convinced of Starscream’s value anymore.  And given that this operation may be beyond his explicit sanctioning, I don’t think he would be happy to receive Starscream back into the Decepticons without repercussions.”

Skywarp looked incredulous.  “No, what?  No, Megatron knows- Megatron promised,” he said.  “He promised Starscream he would take care of him.”

Shockwave did not often radiate any kind of emotion, but Thundercracker thought he looked… bereft.  “I know.  I wish I could tell you differently.”

Skywarp’s wings fell behind his back and he frowned.  “I’m… I can’t. No,” he said.  Thundercracker could hear him breaking. 

“‘Warp, can you head back to the base for me?  I need you to try and clear the way so that I can sneak back into the medbay.”

Skywarp looked to him and stared for a moment before nodding and taking off.

Thundercracker turned to look at Shockwave then.  “That’s not what Megatron said, is it?”

Shockwave stared back at him, saying nothing.

“In fact,” Thundercracker said, quietly.  “I imagine it was quite the opposite, wasn’t it?”

Shockwave lifted his face up, but again said nothing.  A sentinel to not betraying Megatron, but also not wanting to give him what he wanted.

“Unfortunately, I must leave for Cybertron tonight, so I will not be able to assist you in this operation,” Shockwave said after a few tense moments.  “But you three can contact each other for future moves.  I hope you succeed should you be needed.”

Thundercracker nodded and decided to take off into the sky after Skywarp.

Notes:

Lots to sink your teeth into <3 thank you for reading and commenting!

Also I got FANART from Parabox! omg I love it so much. Shockwave/SS humanformer cuteness on tumblr!

Chapter 21: You Weren't That Scary

“Did anyone see you come here?” Sunstreaker growled, blocking the doorway to his quarters.

Bluestreak pulled back with a sour face.  “What? No, no one knows we’re here-“

“Good, then you may enter,” Sunstreaker said, casting another glare at Starscream.

Starscream was minorly amused by the mech’s antics.  Sunstreaker was definitely intimidating, but not in a way that actually scared him.  His reaction to Starscream wasn’t fake or a lie, and even if it was annoying, Starscream found it refreshing.   Bluestreak had tried to explain his rude demeanor away by just saying he was jumpy, but Starscream had figured it was probably a little deeper than that.

“Why does it matter if someone saw us?” Bluestreak asked, clearly not willing to let the subject drop.  He entered the room and nodded to Sideswipe in greeting who was pulling out their high-grade stash.

“We don’t need anyone knowing we’re hanging out with him,” Sunstreaker said, still agitated, his blue optics blazing.

Starscream huffed a little laugh, deciding he didn’t actually have the energy for this right now.  “Bluestreak, look, this was a good idea, but clearly they don’t want me here-”

“No!  No, wait, please stay,” Bluestreak said.  “It’s… it’s just weird, I know.  For all of us, okay?” He looked between the assembled mechs and sighed.  “Very… weird.  Just, Sunny? Please?  Just put it in gear, okay?”

Sunstreaker narrowed his optics and then looked back to Starscream.  “Fine.  Okay, fine.” 

Starscream tried not to smirk too widely.  The mech was a lot of talk it seemed, and far less bite.

“Take a drink, bro,” Sideswipe said, handing Sunstreaker a flask.  “You’re scaring our guest.”

Sunstreaker glared at him but grabbed the flask and took a swig.  Bluestreak went over to look at what else they had, and Starscream was about to follow until Sunstreaker stopped him with his arm on his chest.

Unfortunately, it was the kind of hold that Starscream was powerless against.  He bit back a sigh of irritation.

Sunstreaker glared at him again.  “Why are you here?” he asked with a growl.

Starscream shrugged, giving Sunstreaker a slightly annoyed look.  “I’m here to drink, according to Bluestreak.  It’s been a long day, Sunstreaker, so I’m just trying to relax.”

This didn’t appear to be the response that Sunstreaker was expecting.  "No, I meant… here.  The base."

Starscream's amusement fell.  His shoulders slumped a little and he regarded the yellow Autobot with an exasperated look.  "I was just trying to save the ones I care about."

Sunstreaker paused, quietly watching Starscream for a few seconds, then he visibly relaxed.  He removed his arm, and it seemed all the tension in his frame had dissipated.

Bluestreak joined them, handing Starscream a cube.  "I don't know if you like sweet, sour, bitter…? Anyway, I tried mixing them all," he said with a shrug and a smile.

Starscream thought this was going to taste awful.

And it did, but he managed to hide half the strength of his wince.  "Powerful," he croaked out, earning a laugh from Bluestreak and Sideswipe.  Bluestreak similarly sipped his and winced but managed to smile even wider.  

"...you said you had a long day?" Sunstreaker asked.  His tone was significantly softer.

"He got grilled by Red Alert and Optimus within hours of each other," Bluestreak replied, patting him on the back.  "Red even had to call in Jazz."

Sideswipe whistled.  "You earned that drink, then," he said, clinking his cube to Starscream's.  Spared the need to talk about it by Bluestreak, Starscream merely smiled and took another sip of his terrible high-grade concoction.

"Sorry, I know it’s bad," Bluestreak said, laughing.  "But it will get the job done."

"What do you mean?" Starscream asked, curious. 

"You'll see." 

 

---

 

Sideswipe was impressively doing a handstand.  “I can do this all day,” he said.

“Really,” Sunstreaker said, balancing a cube of high grade on top of Sideswipe’s pede.

“Oh, come on,” Sideswipe groaned.  “You think that’s hard?”

“How about with just one servo then?” Starscream offered.

Sideswipe lightly glared at him and lifted his servo off the ground to flip him a rude gesture.  Starscream and Bluestreak laughed as he lost his balance and got covered in high-grade.

 

---

 

“Is it… supposed to do something?”

Bluestreak snorted.  “Yeah, it gets you overenergized.  Kinda like... euphoric dizzy?”

Starscream shook his helm.  “It’s not working.”

Sunstreaker grinned malevolently.  “Sure, ‘Screamer, just get up and walk in a line.”

Starscream frowned, and then stood up, almost stumbling off his pedes.  “Whoa, what-“ he said worriedly.  He overcorrected and fell back to the ground onto his aft.

Sideswipe started laughing hysterically.  “I thought seekers were elegant,” he said through his chuckles.

“That’s just Decepticon propaganda,” Sunstreaker said, taking another sip of his cube.

“I’m not sure I’m the best example of a seeker anymore,” Starscream said with a laugh.  The smiles faded from both Sunstreaker and Sideswipe’s faces and they looked down at the ground.

Bluestreak sighed and then smirked.  “Well, you’re a hell of a lot more elegant than these two when it comes to tact,” he said, roughly patting Sideswipe on the top of the helm.

 

---

 

“Mind if I ask you something?” Bluestreak asked sitting next to him on the floor.  Actually, they were seated quite close together now with Bluestreak gently leaning on his wing and their shoulders touching.  Starscream’s processor was pleasantly foggy, and he found he hadn’t minded at all when Bluestreak had sat there; he actually found he enjoyed someone being that close.    “About the Decepticons?”

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were arm-wrestling over a table.  They had invited Starscream to join, but he had declined knowing he wouldn’t really be able to play.

“Bluestreak,” Starscream said gently.  “If it is about intelligence-”

Bluestreak waved an exaggerated servo, dismissing that thought quickly.  “No, no I’m not going to bug you about that stuff.”

Starscream tilted his helm.  “Then maybe I can answer.”

Bluestreak nodded and let his helm fall back against the wall as he looked up at the ceiling.  “Why do the Decepticons follow Megatron?”

“What… do you mean?”  Starscream was surprised by the question, and blinked slowly, waiting for his processor to catch up. 

Bluestreak turned his helm to look at him.  “I just mean… look, you were there for like a month.  If you had been given the choice knowing with what you know now, would you have followed him?”

Starscream was biting the inside of his cheek.  He wasn’t sure he had enough information to make a good answer.  “I… don’t know.  I didn’t see him a whole lot while I was there.  To be honest, I think the conversation I had with Optimus was about as many words as Megatron and I have shared.”

"Really?" Bluestreak said, surprised.  "You two were always… talking." Bluestreak grimaced a little and Starscream thought that he didn't actually mean "talking."  "I guess I'm just surprised."

Starscream took another numbing sip from his cube.  "I don't know why they follow him.  Whenever I asked, I got very different answers.  'Warp would usually burst into a rant about how he was great in battle and a worthy leader.  Probably as close to what most the most loyal believe.  TC on the other hand… didn't quite believe the same thing."

Here Starscream paused, because thinking about them made his spark hurt.  Thundercracker had looked at him fondly when he had asked, holding him close.  "TC said he followed Megatron because I had asked him to," he said quietly.  "Because Megatron was the only one who would do what it would take to make things right for everyone."

Bluestreak frowned sadly but nodded.  "I always hoped it would be an easier answer than that," Bluestreak said as Sunstreaker crowed in victory and Sideswipe winced, rubbing his arm.  "Unfortunately, we follow Optimus for about the same reason."

Starscream frowned too.  So far, the differences between the Autobots and the Decepticons really seemed to be a matter of name, perspective, and how they treated the natives of the planet.  

"I just wish I had more information, or… history at least."

"You could talk to Teletraan-1?" Sideswipe answered, coming to sit down in front of them.  At Starscream's confused look, he chuckled.

"Yeah, Teletraan-1 is an AI that runs the Ark and has a complete history of… everything," Bluestreak added with a smile.

That sounded promising.  "How biased is it?" 

Both Bluestreak and Sideswipe frowned slightly.  "I mean, how can facts be biased?" Sideswipe said.

Starscream smiled wryly.  “I would love to talk to it.  Thank you.”

 

---

 

Bluestreak and Sunstreaker were talking quietly in the corner, leaving Sideswipe and Starscream to sit on the ground playing some kind of simple dice betting game.  Starscream kept accidentally running probabilities in his helm, and Sideswipe kept slapping his servo to his helm.

“I swear, you’re as bad as Prowl! You just- look, just turn that part of your brain off for a second and then the game will be much more fun.”

“I don’t know, Sideswipe,” Starscream said, laughing as he picked up a few more dice to roll again.  “I’m having a lot of fun winning at the moment.”

Sideswipe gave a lighthearted glare and then wrote down Starscream’s score.

“So, are they a thing?” Starscream asked, flicking his optics towards Bluestreak and Sunstreaker.

Sideswipe scoffed.  “I think Sunny’s trying for it to be, but he’s an idiot, as he is in most things.”  He picked up the dice and then paused for a moment, glancing at Starscream.  “Why, are you looking for something?”

Starscream smiled warmly.  “Oh no.  Just looking for friends. I’ve got… my own things going on."  

Actually... he wasn't so sure about that anymore. Romantic entanglements had not exactly been on his list of things to talk about tonight, but the high-grade was making his glossa talk about it anyway.  Skywarp and Thundercracker both had been amorous enough for him, and he thought he might be developing something with… 

But it likely didn't matter anymore.  He looked down at the floor.  “I’m guessing there isn’t a whole lot of inter-faction intermingling.”

“Mm, yeah, there is… some.  But not a lot.  And probably not for someone so high-profile as you,” Sideswipe said.

Starscream’s wings dipped a little behind him, and he noticed Sideswipe’s optics had tracked them almost on instinct.  "I'm pretty sure I slammed that door… or those doors shut when I came here, anyway."

Sideswipe arched an optic-ridge.  "Barely a month old and you're already a player.  Impressive."

Starscream was a dismissive servo with a laugh.  "Hardly.  Just seemed to… pick up some things my former self had squandered."

Sideswipe regarded him for a few kliks.  “You know,” Sideswipe started, leaning his back against the berth.  “Sunny and I are the ones who downed you the day you got captured that led to this whole... thing.  And I guess up until now, I didn’t feel terribly guilty about it,” he said, wrinkling his nose a little.  "I'll be honest, Starscream, and I thought you deserved it.  But knowing what I know now, and talking with you… I guess, I'm sorry.  For everything that happened.”

Starscream shrugged.  " Everyone’s been saying sorry since I woke up, but they’re apologizing to me, not to him.  I realize the distinction is weird, but… it matters.”

Sideswipe’s blue optics were full of thought and appraisal; it seemed Starscream had earned a modicum of respect.  “Well.  I’m not going to apologize anymore to a mech who cheats at dice.”

Starscream laughed, rolling the dice again with a smirk.

 

---

 

“I think you’re pretty great.”

“Blue, you’re drunk.”

“Star, no wait, sorry, Starscream, listen, no you’re great.  You’re a seeker, but you’re great.”

Starscream dramatically shook his helm.  “I am not great, but I am… something.  Haven’t figured that part… out yet,” he said, squinting.

Sunstreaker was already passed out on his berth, mouth agape and arms flung wide.  Sideswipe was swaying on his pedes a little, pouring himself just a little more.

“Don’t you want to be great?” Bluestreak asked in confusion.

“Of course I do,” Starscream replied leaning against him.  “But frankly, I can’t be great if I can’t do anything.”

“Fair,” Bluestreak said.

“Fair,” Sideswipe echoed.

Starscream sighed dramatically.  “I used to be awesome.”

“Debatable,” Bluestreak and Sideswipe said together before descending into laughter.

Starscream smiled but shook his helm.  "No, see I used to do the manipulating instead of getting manipulated.  No one would have dared try and kidnap me to fix their faction before this accident."

Sideswipe merely nodded.  "Probably right," he murmured laying on his berth with a yawn.  He then fell into recharge within seconds.

Bluestreak however was looking at him with giant, round optics, and he looked stricken.

"Starscream, I'm sorry," he said morosely.  He turned to Starscream and enveloped him in a tight hug.  "You are still awesome."

Starscream couldn't exactly move now because of the hold and his program, but his lethargic and foggy processor told him he didn't mind the hug.  It felt like ages since he had been hugged.

Bluestreak sniffled and Starscream was surprised.  Bluestreak was definitely drunk and probably feeling things a little… more than he probably should.  Starscream didn't judge him.  Bluestreak was a good mech and was probably his first friend that was truly his, not someone his former self had ruined and left shattered in his wake.

He gently held Bluestreak back and then slowly drifted into recharge.

 

---

 

Sunstreaker woke up with a groan, his helm pounding.  He could usually hold his high-grade, but he had limits, and he had definitely exceeded them.  He sat up, holding his helm, noticing his brother on his own berth, curled into a ball of similar post-drinking woe.

He slid his optics to the other side of the room.

Wings.

Thruster-pedes.

A gentle swell of a cockpit on the abdomen.

Red, light gray, white, and a far too cheery blue for a Decepticon.

Sunstreaker silently got to his pedes, swaying only a moment before he righted himself.  His frame tensed, wound like a spring, far too tightly.  He watched the seeker sleep, curled up against Bluestreak, with his helm nestled against the chest of the other.  Both of them looked at peace.

Why was the seeker here? Didn't matter.  Sunstreaker had trained his frame and processor to hunt seekers and this one was so pathetically open; it would be easy to dispatch him.

Sunstreaker quickly grabbed Starscream’s pede and yanked him down and away from Bluestreak.  Starscream awoke with a terrified gasp, but Sunstreaker had put his servo over his mouth silencing him.  Starscream's red optics were wide and alarmed, and terribly confused.

Sunstreaker straddled his chest, effectively pinning him to the ground with his knees grinding into his wings.  They’d been in this position a couple of times in the war, half the time Starscream had him pinned and then vice versa.  Sunstreaker put his other servo on Starscream’s neck and squeezed.  Gently at first so that the seeker would know what was coming and then slowly tightening his hold.  Sunstreaker heard the pained, muffled whine and hitching vents coming from the frame beneath him.

This wouldn't exactly kill him, but it would incapacitate him.  Then Sunstreaker could kill him.

But Starscream wasn’t struggling.  That was weird as usually Starscream was a flurry of claws and angry shrieking; much louder and more dangerous than any of the other seekers that Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had perfected hunting over the millennia.  The realization hit him like a brick and then everything came rushing back; the pacification, the memory wipe, Starscream had joined the Autobots, he’s safe, everyone is safe even though a seeker is living among them.  It’s like his trance broke and he remembered where he was. 

He removed his servos slowly from Starscream’s mouth and neck and Sunstreaker noticed his own venting was ragged.  Starscream just stared up at him, trying to keep still even though Sunstreaker could feel him trembling.

“I’m sorry,” Sunstreaker said mournfully in a whisper.  Starscream still said nothing, still staring at him with vulnerable fear.  “I… I'm sorry.  I wasn't here.”

Starscream hesitated a moment and gave the slightest of nods.  He looked incredibly wary and Sunstreaker wondered if he had ruined everything for Starscream and undone all the tentative trust he had developed here.  “Please get off me,” he rasped.

Sunstreaker removed himself and once he was completely clear, Starscream dashed for the door and desperately tried to open it.  His servo slipped in nervousness and he ended up scratching the access panel.  He hissed in pain and pulled away his servo from the panel, holding and massaging his servo.  He was distressed, clearly, but not just because of what Sunstreaker had just done.

Sunstreaker frowned and slowly got to his pedes.  Both Bluestreak and Sideswipe were still completely out, so he kept his voice low.  “Are you alright?”

Starscream’s wings dipped behind him.  “I… damaged an inanimate object,” he said helplessly.  “Property.  When I do that, I get this... tingling pain.”

Sunstreaker slowly walked up to him, trying not to frighten him again.  “I’m… I’m really sorry, Starscream.  We just… I woke up, I forgot where I was… what had happened.  Are you… going to tell Optimus?”

Starscream glanced at him, confused.  “I- I wasn’t going to.”

“Okay, thank you," Sunstreaker sighed with relief.  "Primus, if he demoted Jazz and Prowl for hurting you, I have no idea what he’d do to me for trying to strangle you in your sleep.”

Starscream looked incredibly concerned for a moment, some tension still in his face as his servo still looked like it was hurting him.  “I can’t pretend to know what it must be like for you to have me here.  I know I was… terrifying.”

“Oh, you weren’t that scary,” Sunstreaker lied with a shrug.  “You were just annoyingly loud most of the time.  Anyway, Sides’ and I got really good at neutralizing seekers anyway, so it was never a huge problem.”

Starscream looked like he was slightly relaxing at the casualness of the conversation and Sunstreaker's bravado.  He seemed thoughtful for a few kliks.  “But why seekers, may I ask?”

Sunstreaker met his optics for a moment.  The new Starscream was incredibly curious about things, and far more polite about it than he had expected.  Sunstreaker glanced over at Bluestreak, still passed out with his limbs akimbo.  “For him, mostly.  But for others too.  It’s something we could do, and we got good at it.”

Starscream sighed sadly.  “I suppose I can’t ask you to… stop targeting seekers, can I?”

Sunstreaker turned his helm back and looked at the conflict on Starscream’s face.  “You can ask, but you have to understand that I can’t listen.  Not if they are going to hurt Blue or Sides', or anyone else I care about.”

Starscream clenched his jaw and looked down at the ground.  “Are we any closer to finishing this war, or are we just going to keep fighting into eternity?”

Sunstreaker shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Things seemed to have escalated in the past few months surrounding you, but I don’t know what it all means.  Kind of above my paygrade.”

The seeker nodded forlornly, and Sunstreaker empathized.  “I want it over.  I… I don’t know how to handle this, having my friends and loved ones trying to kill each other over something I don’t understand.”

“You could try not caring about anyone?”

Starscream huffed in a tired laugh, knowing that the joke wasn’t funny.  “Can… you open the door for me?  I seem to be unable to in order to get back to my quarters.”

Sunstreaker considered this for a second.  “What do you mean, is it broken?”

“No, I’m fairly certain the door is functional.” His jaw clenched.

Sunstreaker didn’t get it but he did know that Bluestreak was not supposed to leave his side except if he was at his quarters.  He didn't want Bluestreak to get in trouble. “Look, just sleep here?  I’ll go somewhere else.”

“I’m not going to kick you out of your own quarters-”

“Starscream,” Sunstreaker said with a stern voice.  “It’s fine.  Take my berth.  I’ll go sleep in the common room.”

Starscream’s wings relaxed and Sunstreaker patted him on the back.

“That's a good seeker,” he said as he left.

He could feel Starscream’s optics on him as he left to walk down the hallway. 

 

Chapter 22: Fruits of Labor Part 1

Notes:

Hohohoho we're back baby with regular updates, and as a thank you for waiting I've got this chapter and the next one will be posted tomorrow. I appreciate you all checking in on me, I promise, nothing is abandoned!

Starscream didn't really recharge.

He tried.  He could feel his systems screaming at him to slip into the warm embrace of sleep.  He tried to think about something boring.  He tried thinking about something calming and soothing, but most of those memories were with the warm frames of some seekers beside him.

So.  That didn't work.

Then he tried to think about the things roiling in his processor; just face them head on, come to some kind of conclusion, then put it away and not worry about it.  But he was too tired to reach any meaningful end and sighed.

His processor hurt.  That, too, kept him awake.

The room was still pleasantly dark and quiet as the other two mechs continued in recharge.  It astounded him still how much quieter the Autobot base was in comparison to the Decepticon one.  He was used to the dark and damp places of a base underwater, but here things were just in general more cozy and safe.

He absently brought his servo to touch his neck.

Bluestreak sat up from the floor with a curse, holding his helm and grimacing.  “Fuck.”

Starscream narrowed his optics.  “What does that mean?”

“It’s a human swear, sorry,” Bluestreak muttered.  “Sometimes it just sounds better than frag.”  Starscream watched as Bluestreak stretched and yawned.  

“Fuck me,” Sideswipe moaned.  “Why are you yelling?”

Bluestreak huffed a laugh.  “Not yelling.  Your audials are on too high.  Turn them down.”  Sideswipe grimaced but then relaxed, apparently dozing off again.  “Where's Sunny?” Bluestreak asked, his gaze sweeping the room.

Starscream paused. “He left late last night.  I think he went to go recharge in the common room.”

Bluestreak sighed, looking apologetic.  “Couldn’t even sleep in the same room as a seeker, huh?  Sorry.”

Starscream bit the inside of his cheek.  “Something like that.”

“Well, do you want to head back to your room to take a shower or something?"

“Sure.” But then Starscream paused, looking at the panel to the door, and he frowned.  “Actually.  Can I just use the washracks here?”

Bluestreak gave the snoring Sideswipe a glance and then shrugged.  “Yeah, go ahead.  I have to take a minute to figure out what we’re doing today anyway.”

Starscream slipped from the berth and walked into the washracks.  Despite the messiness of the berthroom, the washroom  was very well-organized with polishes and brushes lining some shelves.  Starscream tried not to touch anything  and tried to be as unimposing as possible as he slipped into the shower.  He turned on the knobs, again, silently praising the Autobots for their hot water.

Bluestreak called to him from the next room.  “Is there anything you wanted to do today?  No one needs you for any more briefings.”

Starscream finished washing and stepped out, finding a towel to dry off.  “I was wondering if I could go to the lab for a little bit.  I’d like to talk to Wheeljack about something.”

Bluestreak appeared in the doorway.  “Sure.  How long do you want to be there?”

Starscream smiled.  “I think for a while.  If there is something else you want to do, I think you could entertain yourself another way.”

“Oh, I mean, I don’t mind-” but then he stopped and smiled.  “Yeah, thanks.  Some of the science stuff is very much beyond me.”

Starscream nodded, sweeping his arm in front of him to let Bluestreak lead the way.

Bluestreak nodded and palmed the door access.  It opened and they walked into the hallway.  “You know, I wanted to ask you.  Do you- do you need to fly? I know sometimes the aerialbots would get squirrely.  I know I get the same way if I haven’t gone for a hard drive in a little bit.”

As they walked down the hallway, Starscream looked at each door.  Each one had an access panel to get in.  “Honestly, I’m not quite sure how often I need to fly, but I’m okay for right now.  Thank you.”  He was barely paying attention, trying to come up with a way to get in a door without having to use the access panels.  

Just looking at them made his servo twitch and chill run down his spine.  A lot of people had felt really sorry for him and told him he was limited or disabled.  Up until now, he really had no frame of reference for what that meant and just assumed it was them bringing their own anxieties to him, asking in a way for him to make them feel better.  It was exhausting telling everyone it was fine.  

But now, he realized the destructive power of this program that ran through him.  It worked so quickly too, and such a small thing like scratching an access panel made him incapable of using doors now.  There were bigger implications here, but he didn’t want to think about it right now.  

It didn’t make much sense based on what the program had been intended to create.  A pacified, quiet mech that no longer caused trouble, certainly, but was he more of a burden this way?  Why would the program disable him in this way?  Shockwave had told him that it really was odd how this had been designed.

He missed Shockwave immensely for a moment.  Shockwave would have immediately been able to help him, understand the situation, and work with him to fix it.  He wouldn’t pity him, he wouldn’t tell him how awful it was, he’d just find ways to help.  Starscream wasn’t sure how these Autobots would react.

They reached the lab and Bluestreak strode in as the doors opened automatically for him.  That was good; there were some doors that just opened without accessing a panel.  Maybe it sensed movement?  

“Bluestreak and Starscream, what can I do for ya?” Wheeljack said, his finials lighting up.  His optics crinkled a little at the corners as if he were smiling behind his facemask at some private joke.

Starscream paused before taking a small invent.  “I was hoping to work here today.  I just need a small workspace and some minor tools.”

“What did you want to work on?” Wheeljack asked, curious, not suspicious.  He half-sat on a desk, using a cloth to clean off his servos.

“It’s just an idea,” he started.  “About accessing doors without needing to use the access panel.  In case your servos are full or something.”

Wheeljack made a humming noise.  “Sure!  I’ve got some space back here that will be great for you.”  Bluestreak gave him a smile and a wave and left as Starscream followed Wheeljack into the back.  He dimly thought that this was also about how his life had been so far; constantly escorted and handed off from one group to the next.  It didn’t really bother him as at least it was familiar, but it did make him feel… different.

“Would you like some assistance?  I have some time.”

Here Starscream paused.  He looked at the table and then he looked back to Wheeljack.  “Do you mind… if I try it for myself first?  I’ll come to you if I need help.”

Wheeljack looked at him with amusement.  “Of course.  Good luck.”

Starscream tentatively smiled.  This was the most freedom he had received in a long time.  Interesting where he found it.

He went about gathering materials and tools he would need.  Ideally, he could come up with something that was discreet and wouldn’t require modding every door in the base.  He didn’t think that would go over well with Red Alert.

So… a remote maybe.  Or some kind of prosthetic? 

He started to get to work.

 

---

 

“Megatron.  What do you want?” Optimus affected a bored tone.

“I’m formally requesting the return of Starscream,” Megatron said with a hard edge.  He looked more annoyed than angry.

“Denied.  Starscream sought asylum with us.”

“Under duress.”  Megatron’s face twisted into a smirk.  “Impressive tactic though.  Makes me think some of your mechs should have been Decepticons, Prime.  Hurting his trinemates was a stroke of genius.”

Optimus glared.  “Their injuries were unintentional.”  He internally cursed.  Megatron always put him on the defensive, having to explain his actions while Megatron didn’t care if he was consistent or not.  “Starscream was suffering under your tender care-”

“You found much evidence of that, did you?” Megatron’s smirk was practically baring his denta.

Optimus paused, clenching his fist to try and control his anger.  The truth was Ratchet hadn’t found any sign of mistreatment other than the Combaticons’ little stunt they pulled.  It had been so easy to read between the lines of what Mirage had reported and Optimus wondered if he had made a mistake.  If Starscream was doing well with the Decepticons, Optimus had no moral imperative to rescue him.  

He might have hurt his chances to bring the Aerialbots back for good.

“Why do you want him back?  He’s of no benefit to your war.”

Megatron’s optics narrowed.  “Our war, Optimus.  It’s as much my progeny as it is yours.”  Megatron slumped back on his throne, leaning his helm on his fist in a bored, relaxed manner.  “Starscream doesn’t benefit my war effort.  I am his leader, and he trusted me with his new self before we wiped his memories.  I am fulfilling my duty to him by asking for his return.”

Optimus’s lips twitched underneath his mask.  “I’m not sure how much say his former self has now in what happens to the new Starscream.  He’s free to make any decision he would like: be it returning to you or remaining here.”

“Really.”

Optimus furrowed his brow.  “I never thought in a million years you and I would be arguing over the welfare of Starscream of all mechs.” He forcibly unclenched his fist and flexed his digits.  “But yes, Megatron.  Starscream is free to choose whichever faction he would like to be with.  In fact, I will allow Thundercracker and Skywarp to talk to him and check on his welfare.  We have nothing to hide.”

Megatron arched an optic-ridge.  “You’re so confident he loves the Autobots and will stay, are you?”

Optimus leaned forward in his chair.  “I’ll be waiting to hear from you for a date and time to pass on to Starscream.  Thank you for your call,” he said, ending the connection.

He sat deep in thought for a moment, staring at the black screen.  Megatron never failed to irk him on the simplest of things, but this had devolved to a new low.  Optimus understood his culpability regarding Starscream, or at least his subordinates roles in it, and Megatron had the odd upper moral hand which made talking to him irritating.  He would always be sure to make sure Optimus knew this was his fault.

But he did think that Starscream would still choose the Autobots.  And maybe with Starscream, he could attract more than just Skyfire and Aerialbots to the Autobot banner.

Chapter 23: Fruits of Labor Part 2

Notes:

As PROMISED lol <3 Thank you everyone for your lovely comments as usual, I LOVE talking about this story with you all lol

Starscream sighed quietly in frustration.

Nothing was working.  He had a remote that seemed to work only half of the time on the door to the storage room in the laboratory.  It never worked on the washroom in the lab.  It always worked on the door leading out of the lab, but that one was also triggered by proximity.

Why did they make this base have a thousand doors?

He leaned back on his little stool looking down at the components, trying to think.  He hadn’t expected it to be easy, but he had hoped he would have made more progress than this.  He had written down a bunch of ideas and had scratched off more than half of them by now.  He was extremely frustrated and wasn't sure what to do next.

But at the same time, he was actually a little pleased.  He felt like he was doing something about his situation for once and he was having some success even if it was slow-going.  He was free to tinker and experiment, hypothesize, and test.  His mind did in fact seem wired for it, he just lacked the experience to completely figure out the puzzle.

Wheeljack kept coming over to try and initiate conversation, and Starscream was being polite but he really did want to try and figure this out on his own.  He knew that Wheeljack was likely bursting at the seams to offer him some solutions, but Starscream couldn’t bring himself to ask.  Wheeljack seemed to be respecting that at the moment.

But it didn’t stop him from talking.

“So what did you do for fun with the Decepticons?  Culturally speaking, I have no frame of reference and just assume they came up with plots to take over the world all day.”  Despite his words, his optics were glinting with amusement.

Starscream gave a small smile as he kept working on calibrating the remote.  “They read, they brawl, they play games, they watch Earth entertainment sometimes and any old Cybertron media they might still have.  I think mostly the same things you do," he added with a shrug.

Wheeljack seemed surprised.  “I wonder if they have any movies we don’t have.”  He looked down at the remote and Starscream’s notes and then couldn’t seem to stop himself from asking.  “What is this little project actually about, Starscream?  I can tell you’re frustrated.  Skyfire’s wings used to do the same thing when he had a problem he couldn’t solve but really needed to.  And… the Aerialbots would do the same thing when they were upset.”

Starscream looked to his wings as if they had betrayed him and frowned a little.

He considered telling Wheeljack it was nothing, it was just a game, a fun experiment, he was trying out to pass the time, a diversion, some lie.  But in truth, the reality of what was happening scared him a little and he could use someone else's perspective.

So he explained what had happened, leaving out Sunstreaker from the story.

“Primus,” Wheejack breathed.  “Does this mean the program is progressive?”

Starscream swallowed.  “Maybe.  Shockwave theorized that there might be other built-in behavior modifications; this definitely seems like one of them.  But it must have been useless to have someone who couldn’t even open doors.”

“You’d think they would have a way to reset it,” Wheeljack said, bringing his servo up to scratch his chin.  “With a program that unstable you could drop an energon cube by accident and never be able to drink from a cube again.”

Starscream remembered that something like that had almost happened in the canteen back at the Decepticon base.  He looked down at his servos and stifled a shiver.

“I can’t live in fear of being disabled further,” he said more to himself than to Wheeljack.  He slowly raised his optics to look at Wheeljack directly.  “I also can’t rely on someone else to get me out of every situation.”

Wheeljack paused and then nodded.  “I won’t do it for you.  I just want to help.  The second I overstep, you tell me and I’ll leave you to it.”

Starscream sighed and then nodded.  “Here’s what I have so far.”

 

---

 

“A message came in from Optimus,” Silverbolt said, looking worried.  The mech often looked pensive in their new base of operations, as if his very presence was an offense.  Skyfire knew it was because he had left the only family he had ever known, rejecting them for something he didn’t quite understand.  

But all of them had also been dragged into a war they didn’t quite understand.

Skyfire sighed and stopped working on the energon generator that had stopped working for the second time that week.  He knew how to fix it, he just barely had time to do so anymore.

Leading a faction wasn’t easy, he mused.  But as a Neutral and without a war to worry about, things were significantly improved for those that had left with him.  Many of the Aerialbots’ various idiosyncrasies had diminished since they had left, and they had genuinely seemed happier at not having the war looming over them.  Even the other Autobot fliers like Powerglide seemed to relax.

Except Silverbolt, because he still felt like he let Optimus and Wheeljack down.

Skyfire lumbered out of the generator room, unspacing a cloth to try and clean his servos.  Their little base wasn’t much more than an old airplane hangar that a scientist friend of his had let them have to live in.  They were slowly outfitting it to make it function better for them, but it was hardly glamorous living.  It was on a little remote island so it was going to take a little bit of effort for the Autobots to roll up and demand they come home.  Some had certainly tried.

Just being able to fly away had its perks sometimes.

Skyfire reached the console and played the message Optimus had left for him.  

“Skyfire, if you are getting this, I wanted to let you know that Starscream sought asylum with us and he has expressed interest in talking to you.  I was hoping we could set a date and a time to meet.  Let me know.  Hope you all are well.  Optimus out.”

Here we go.  Things were starting to happen.

Silverbolt turned to him.  “What are we going to do?”

Skyfire sighed, smiling.  He typed some things on the console and started to record a return message.  “Optimus, thank you for your message.  I would like to talk to Starscream.  I’m sending available times and dates.  Please ping us your choice.  Skyfire out.”

He ended and sent the communication back and turned away from the console to go back to the generator room.  

“Wait, wait- just like that?” Silverbolt said, running after him, almost tripping.  “You just talked to Optimus-  I thought we weren’t supposed to talk to him?”

Skyfire dipped his helm to go back into the generator room and continue working.  “I want to check on Starscream’s welfare.  Since he’s part of the reason why we decided to leave the Autobots anyway.”

Silverbolt folded his arms over his chest, almost looking like he was hugging himself.  “I’m constantly worried we made the wrong decision, Skyfire.”

Skyfire paused and put his tools down.  He had tried not to baby the Aerialbots and let them develop into the mechs they wanted to be. They were adults, but… it was complicated.  But here he knew Silverbolt needed reassurance and guidance.

“You can always go back, ‘Bolt,” Skyfire said gently, turning to look at him with a smile.  “There comes a point in time in your life where you need to decide whose approval you are seeking and whether they are worthy of your attention.  Optimus is unhappy with what you decided, but if he could see you all here and how much more relaxed you are, he would pause at dragging you back into the war.”

Silverbolt sighed, his large, flat wings dipping a little behind him.  “Isn’t it our duty to help with the war?  To fight the other combiners?”

Skyfire stood and walked over to him, putting a servo on his shoulder.  “They told me more or less the same thing when I woke up from the ice.  And frankly, a lot of the other mechs made decisions that led them to this war, but you and I didn’t.  I’m making the decision for myself now.”  Skyfire smiled again and shrugged.  “I can’t make decisions for you or the rest of you, but I am offering an alternative here.  You might have been created for war, but you can choose to do anything.  You’ve always had that choice.”

Silverbolt sighed again.  “You’re not telling me what to think.  Everyone has always told me what to think, and I was… comfortable with that.   I don’t like having so many choices.”

Skyfire nodded, patting his back.  “I know.  But you’ll be better for it.”  Skyfire turned and handed Silverbolt a wrench.  “Want to help?”

Silverbolt looked at the wrench and then back up at Skyfire.  “Sure.”

 

---

 

Starscream stood in front of the door to his quarters in the hallway with Perceptor and Wheeljack standing beside him.  “I promise, it won’t blow up this time,” Wheeljack said.

“If it does, I’m taking you with me,” Starscream replied with a furtive look at Wheeljack.  

He then looked back at the door.  They had figured out that the remote wasn’t going to work, so Wheeljack and Starscream had developed a holo-emitter that created a physical representation of his servo and could be used as he wished.  

He wasn’t technically touching anything, so it might be a loophole around the program that he needed.

Wheeljack kept calling it a “mage hand.”  Whatever that meant.

Starscream stepped up to the door and activated the emitter with a small wince.  Some previous prototypes had been a little volatile.  

He was also worried about the program activating.  He still remembered the tingling weakness and pain that had shot down his arm the previous night.

But to his surprise, the emitter cast a beam of light shaped like his servo without any unexpected hiccups.  It hovered over the access panel.  With his mind, he was able to control the servo to touch down on the access panel and the door to his room opened.

Starscream whipped around with an excited smile on his face to look at Wheeljack and Perceptor.  Wheeljack had given a loud “WHOOP!” and was hugging a surprised Perceptor who was voicing meek protests, but also gave a small smile as well.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Starscream murmured, looking at the small bracelet that housed the emitter.  Eventually he hoped to integrate it into his wrist so that it would be more discreet and safe from possible damage.

“‘Course it worked, you have the best processors on the case!”

Perceptor managed to extricate himself from Wheeljack's exuberant hugging.  “Yes and this has the added benefit in case the program prevents you from doing something else with your servos, you can replace it with the holo-emitter without missing a beat.”

“Oh yeah, gotta keep access to those servos!” Wheeljack laughed, giving Starscream a lascivious wink.

Starscream had been around Skywarp long enough to know a dirty joke when he heard one.  He smirked even as his face heated a little.  “You’re disgusting,” he said laughing.

“Hey, look, I know I would be missing it-”

“I get it,” Starscream said, chuckling again.  “Thank you.  This… means a lot to me.”

Wheeljack’s laughing kind of died away and he moved his arm so that he was rubbing the back of his neck with his servo.  “Uhh, well.  You’re welcome.  I’m glad you let me help, but you really did most of the work.”

Starscream nodded.  “Still.  You were a good teacher.”

Wheeljack was clearly a little embarrassed which amused Starscream.  He knew he was a little blunt sometimes which seemed to catch mecha off-guard, but he wasn’t sure why.  He smiled again.  “I’m going to just retire to my room, if that’s alright with you. I’ll tell Bluestreak where I am.”

“Sounds good to me!” Wheeljack said, his buoyant cheerfulness back.  He gave Starscream a wave and started to bound back towards the lab.  “Stop by anytime, Starscream.”

“It was a pleasure working with you,” Perceptor said smoothly.  “I look forward to seeing what you add to science in the future.”  He turned and left as well.

Starscream watched them leave and found his smile was easy.  Working with the Autobot scientists had been like working with Shockwave; applying themselves to a project togethet and testing things.  It had been stimulating and Wheeljack had been quick with his praise at Starscream’s ideas.  He thought maybe he was trying very hard to make Starscream feel welcome, and though it still made Starscream feel like an outsider, the thought was appreciated.

Starscream opened the door again with his “mage hand,” thrilled with the novelty of it.  There were many applications to this, and he couldn’t wait to get started.

:Bluestreak.  I wanted to let you know I’m back in my quarters for the evening.  Wheeljack and Perceptor just dropped me off.:

:Uh okay!  Erm I was sent to pick you up though.  Skyfire wants to talk to you.:

Starscream froze in his room, his good mood slipping a little for anxiety.  :Oh, as in now?:

:Uh, yeah. Sorry.  I just found out.:

Starscream took a seat and waited, his spark spinning.  :Okay.  I’m… ready.  I’ll wait for your arrival.:

Notes:

DnD reference for my nerds :dummthicc emoji:

Chapter 24: Answers

Starscream twitched his wings as he followed Bluestreak into the Autobot command room.  The room was so different from the Decepticon’s command room and far less imposing; it was brighter colored, had more lighting, and ostensibly lacked a throne. But as they entered, he noticed a congregated group of mechs standing in front of a giant display screen, and their conversations had died off when they saw him.

He was quite used to mechs staring at him at this point.  But whereas the gaze from the Decepticons had been familiar, there was a strain to the looks from this group.  Individually they might be easier to talk to, Starscream thought, but together they radiated a low level of tension.

Bluestreak similarly had some stress across his shoulders.  He might have picked up on the general atmosphere of the room, but pressed forward proudly and escorted Starscream to the back, where another, smaller room waited for them.

Optimus Prime stood by the door.  "Starscream.  Thank you for coming on short notice, and thank you for doing this.  I am in the middle of discussions with Megatron to allow you to talk to Skywarp and Thundercracker."

Starscream watched Prime carefully for a moment.  “You just want me to talk to him right?  I’m still not sure I can convince him of anything.”

Optimus nodded.  “Just talk to him.  If you could, please ask him if he would consider coming back.  But I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Starscream tried not to clench his jaw.  It was a little late for that.

He walked into the room and sat down in the chair as Prime and Bluestreak left, presumably to give him some privacy.  He pressed the button to activate the call.

There was a large white mech on the other side of the display, and when Starscream saw him, his face turned to confusion.

The mech chuckled warmly.  “Were you expecting someone else?”

He was oddly friendly; only Skywarp and Thundercracker had been so open and friendly upon his first meeting with them.  Starscream found himself being thrown off-guard.

Starscream furrowed his brow.  “I… have seen you before.”

The mech’s optics brightened slightly.  “Really?  Where?”

“In a holo-cube.  In my old room,” Starscream said, still perplexed.  “Are you Skyfire?”

“I am.  It is a pleasure to meet you again, Starscream.”  Skyfire’s optics glinted, and he cast his gaze down.  “You still had that old thing? I can’t believe you kept it.”

Starscream watched him for a moment.  “It was on the shelves behind some datapads,” Starscream added dumbly.  It seemed like such an irrelevant fact to add, but he found himself a little out of sorts.  "It looked like it was well taken care of."  He felt himself wanting to help this mech in any way possible. 

Skyfire smiled softly.  He seemed a mech full of gentleness and kindness, and it was suddenly no wonder to Starscream that Skyfire had tried to leave the war behind him.  

“I heard you wanted to talk to me. I’m happy to answer any question that I can,” Skyfire said.

Starscream tried not to narrow his optics; he had been told that Skyfire wanted to talk to him.   Still, he relaxed a little in the chair.  He did have a lot of questions especially since now he knew that Skyfire was indeed the mech he used to know before.  But now greeted with the idea of getting some answers, he found his mind whirling with ideas, and was momentarily overwhelmed.

“Or I could start,” Skyfire said knowingly, almost with a mischievous smile.  Starscream was surprised but also secretly relieved that Skyfire was able to pick up on his feelings so quickly.  “I want to make sure you are doing well with the Autobots.”

Starscream tried to focus and nodded.  “I’m doing alright,” he replied.  “They have tried to make me feel welcome.”

Skyfire narrowed his optics a little, looking like he was going over Starscream’s phrasing carefully.  “I’m glad.  Do you feel safe, Starscream?  Do you regret your decision at all?”

He knew what he was supposed to say to answer these questions, but Starscream’s spark clenched a little in his tight chest.  “I’ve had some second thoughts on occasion,” he said automatically before he could think better of it.  “But I’m not sure if that’s just because I miss… my trine.”

Skyfire gave a small smile as his face relaxed.  “They miss you too.”

Starscream’s spark skipped a beat.  “You-you've talked to them?”

Skyfire gave him a wink, and the familiarity almost made Starscream blush.  “I’m sure they miss you.  Hypothetically.  I’ll bet they’re just concerned about you.  The Autobots were your enemies for a long time leading up to your current arrangement and I think they might be worried that you might have run into some trouble with them.”

Starscream realized that was a hint; this conversation was likely being monitored, if not cast in front of everyone back in the command center.  If Skyfire had talked to Skywarp and Thundercracker then he might not want everyone to know that, especially if he is supposed to be neutral.  But… his trine was concerned for him?  Even after what he had done?

“Trouble? No, they have been… fine.”

Something in his mind pulled back to the look of absolute hatred he had seen in Sunstreaker’s optics but he quickly tried to move on from the thought.

Skyfire’s smile faded a little.

“Honestly, everyone is trying their best,” Starscream said after another moment’s hesitation.  He wasn’t sure how much he could say that wouldn’t be a flat-out lie.  For some reason, he found he really didn’t want to lie to Skyfire.

“Hmm,” Skyfire said.  “Alright then, your turn.  Ask me a question.”

Starscream smiled a little.  “What was I like?  Before?  Because apparently mechs like me a whole lot more as I am now, but I have gathered that at least you and I got along.”

Skyfire’s optic-ridges went up, and he took a deep invent.  “Well, that's a uh- that’s not an easy thing to answer,” he replied.  “But I’ll try.”  He looked away for a moment as if trying to collect his thoughts.

“You were a mech of contradictions.  You were arrogant and prideful, but had the capacity for humbleness and empathy.  You were intelligent, clever, and great at problem-solving.   But you were very complicated.  You were a mech that knew what you wanted and would not stop until you got it.”

Skyfire paused, looking away from the display.   

“But you changed over the years.  There was a long period of time that you and I were separated and I’m afraid things must have been bad for you. When I met you again, you had given in to some of your darker tendencies and had become abrasive and cruel.  You were much more prone to manipulating and you had little room for loyalty if it stymied your ambition.”

Starscream wasn’t sure what his face looked like, but he imagined he looked distressed.  These were the things he had wanted to hear, and in truth, none of it surprised him.  Starscream, as he once was, was a towering figure of personality and he, as he now was, barely filled the void left behind.  

But none of the descriptions made him seem particularly redeemable.

“Did anyone like me?” he asked, his voice small and quiet.

Skyfire sighed and gave a small, sad smile.  “I did.  A lot actually.”

Starscream understood then that there was more history to them than just being exploring partners.  He wasn’t sure what to say or ask at that point.  “I suppose it is your turn for a question.”

Skyfire looked up above his helm as if he were thinking hard, and trying not to say the things that were immediately on his mind.  “What did Optimus want you to ask me?”

Starscream blanched.  “I’m… sorry?  What?”

Skyfire smirked.  “I know he wanted you to ask me something.  Go ahead.”

Starscream was a little bewildered but he decided to play along.  “Um.  Would you consider coming back to the Autobots?”

“No,” came the stern reply.  “He knows why.  And how he chose to ‘rescue’ you from the Decepticons is also leading to this decision.  The Aerialbots and everyone else are free to make the decisions for themselves as well, but they seem to agree with me that staying out of the war is best for us.”

Starscream bit the inside of his cheek.  The conversation was a little awkward then since now it was more like Prime and Skyfire were talking to each other with Starscream as an unwilling intermediary.  

“Did you really leave the Autobots because of me?” Starscream asked.

Skyfire sighed and leaned back in his chair a little.  “It’s a little more complicated than that.  What happened to you was a tragedy, certainly.  That the circumstances that led up to your pacification were even allowed and encouraged was more than tragic.  It was wrong.” Skyfire crossed his arms in front of him.  “I haven’t been in this war for very long, since I only woke up from being frozen in ice a few years ago.  I think some believe that makes me naive, but I think it gives me a fresh perspective.  I don’t think Megatron and Optimus know why they are fighting anymore, and I don’t want to be part of a war I don’t understand.”

Starscream stilled at his words.  He had honestly had the same thoughts and he felt an odd sense of relief that his feelings were shared with someone else.  In a way, he had not experienced the war or the events that had led them to this moment in time, so like Skyfire, he too was an outsider.  The fighting, the posturing, the goals- none of it made sense to him.  He wanted everyone to stop fighting and find ways to coexist.

He had kind of proved it could be done.  He was almost a bridge between the two factions at this point.

Another thing was bothering him.  “Can you explain what happened to me?  I know that Jazz did something to me and it made me who I am.  But can you go into more detail?”

Skyfire gave him a silent stare and then nodded.  

Skyfire told the story of how he had been captured, interrogated, and then dosed with a drug that was only meant to temporarily pacify him but it had actually permanently altered him.  He was offered sanctuary with the Autobots but chose to go back to the Decepticons instead, even though he knew he would have his memories wiped.

“Why did they wipe my memories?”  Starscream asked.  “That kind of feels like an insult to injury.”

“It was probably thought of as a kindness.  Megatron apparently didn’t want the intelligence you had about the Decepticons to be able to be stolen from your processor.  But more than that?  Your old self would not have been able to cope with the changes.  You… said as much to me.”

Starscream froze at the words.  “What else did I say about it?”

Skyfire’s lips pressed into a line.  “If we get the chance to meet in person, I would like to show you something.  It might explain better than I can.”

Starscream squinted in confusion but merely nodded.  

“Starscream,” Skyfire asked softly.  “Do you want to leave the Autobots?”

Starscream cast his gaze away from the screen.  He knew he should have answered immediately as he probably had more than just Skyfire’s optics on him.  

Skyfire’s voice was a little softer.  “Have you decided you want something else? We can help you.”

Starscream slowly looked back at the kind face on the screen.  Those words cut right to his spark because those words were the last thing Shockwave had said to him before he left the Decepticon base.  In fact, he was sure those words were Shockwave’s.  If Skyfire had spoken to Thundercracker and Skywarp, then he might have also spoken with him as well.

Part of him thought it might be too soon to tell.  The Autobots were different from the Decepticons in some cultural ways, but in a lot of ways, they really weren’t that different at all.  With both factions, he had found himself being manipulated, intimidated, and he wasn’t entirely sure he was any safer here than he had been with the Decepticons.  But he had felt like many of the Autobots were kinder at least, and many were trying.

He was worried though that by the time he knew for sure, he might not have the chance to get out.

Skyfire was waiting patiently for his response.

“I-”

But the communication cut out and the display went dark.

Starscream stared blankly at the dark screen, incredulous, as his wings fell behind him.  Yet again, the choice had been taken away from him.

Bluestreak burst in through the door.  “Starscream, we have to get you to your room.  The Decepticons are attacking a town nearby and we have to mobilize.”

Starscream heard the urgency in his voice.  Despite his turbulent emotions, he stood and followed Bluestreak out of the communications room to hear alarms blaring and mechs getting ready to leave.  They weaved in the crowd between Autobots yelling and gathering up weaponry.

Starscream said nothing, feeling completely numb as he ran down the hallways.

Bluestreak opened the door to his quarters and waited until he was in.  He paused and gave Starscream a sad look.

“Blue, we gotta go-” he heard Sunstreaker’s voice call from up the hallway.

“In a minute,” Bluestreak said, still watching Starscream.  

Starscream bit the inside of his cheek before saying, “I suppose a technical glitch cut the communication.  At that particular time.”  He tried to keep his face impassive, but he was sure he was unable to keep the tension out of his wings.

“Yeah,” Bluestreak replied, reluctantly. His face flickered with uncertainty.  “I know it doesn’t look good right now.”  His blue optics steeled with purpose.  “But we’re going to make it right.”

Starscream didn’t doubt that Bluestreak would try.  He nodded, and Bluestreak nodded back before letting the door close as he left.

In the quiet of his quarters, Starscream clenched his fist and finally released the shaky breath he had been holding.

Chapter 25: Freedom is the Right

Despite the hours that passed, Starscream didn't recharge.  

He tried to occupy himself by reading some datapads, but the truth was his anxiety was making it hard to focus. He would try to start reading something, but then he would end up reading the same line over and over without actually absorbing it. Starscream sat up in the berth when he thought he heard someone outside, but as he listened closer, and it was just the metal of the base settling. He lay back down with his wings twitching behind him.

He silently cursed himself. He knew he made a mistake by coming here, and he needed to figure his next move. He needed to get it together and stay focused to find a way out of his situation rather than jump at ghosts and whispers.

He nearly jumped out of his berth when he actually did start to hear voices. He wanted to go out and check on them and maybe get an idea of what had happened. Had they defeated the Decepticons? Had… Skywarp and Thundercracker been there? Had they asked about him?    

He knew he was supposed to wait in his room, but he couldn't stand it anymore. He stood up and nearly ran to the door, almost stumbling in his nervousness. He used his holo-servo to open the door-

But it didn't open.

He tried it again, worried that his device was malfunctioning. But no, it was working as expected.

They had locked him in his room. He couldn't leave.

He took a ragged invent and stepped away from the door. They had locked him in his room.

What… did this mean? Did they not trust him? Or had that conversation with Skyfire not gone the way they wanted, and they wanted to make sure their little pet stayed where they could see him? Starscream knew he was supposed to be escorted by Bluestreak everywhere he went, but he didn't think they had been locking him away until now? This was… new. Frightening.

He took a few more steps back before the back of his legs ran into his berth. His spark was spinning rapidly in his chest, and a terrible numbness was permeating his mind. He stared dumbly at the door for more than a few moments, calculating what this meant.

They were just using him as a way to get their combiner back, and they didn't really want to help him. He had guessed this was the case early on in his relationship with the Autobots; however, he had been naive in thinking that maybe there was some hope here that he could still fit in as an equal, even if they were using him. But now that Starscream wasn't behaving like he should, and he wasn't at least pretending to enjoy the Autobots as a faction, he was a prisoner. He was just a pawn.

They had never locked him in a room at the Decepticon base.  

He shivered. This was a nightmare. His mind was spiraling away from him with this information, and he was afraid he would snap in panic. He needed to get out, get out, run- fly! Yes, he needed to fly. His wings twitched irritably behind him. It had been so long since he flew, and he wanted to taste the air as it rolled over his sensors. He wanted to feel the wind cascade over his back. He wanted the thrill of his trinemates flying beside him-

There was a chime at his door.

He wiped at his face, scowling when he saw some cleaner fluid had welled up in his optics. He rubbed his face angrily and then called softly, "Enter."

The door opened, and Wheeljack stood in the doorway with a cube of energon.

Starscream opened his mouth to demand why he had been locked in, but Wheeljack… didn't look good. His white plating was marred heavily with dents, scratches, and blaster burns. His usually friendly blue optics looked worn-out, and his shoulders were slumped.

"Heya, I brought you some energon," he said. His voice sounded about as defeated as he looked.

Starscream stood up from the berth and went to the door. "Where is Bluestreak?"

Wheeljack swallowed behind his facemask. "The, uh, 'Cons were particularly angry today. Blue's hurt, but he's gonna be okay," he added hurriedly at the end.

Starscream stood by him at the door, and his face went slack. His wings sunk behind him. It was always something, wasn't it?

"It's not your fault," Wheeljack said gently.  

"It is his fault," came an angry voice from the hallway.

Starscream blinked his optics as a shorter, horned red mech that he didn't know appeared and pushed Wheeljack to the side of the door to stride right in. He was pointing a digit right up into Starscream's face, and Starscream pulled back in surprise.

"This is completely your fault, but we don't even get to be mad at you!" he shouted. "Your mere presence just causes  chaos  wherever you go!"

Starscream's optics went wide as he took a step back. The mech was so angry with his flashing denta and intense optics, and it scared him into retreating further into his room. No one had ever been this mad at him before.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't you dare apologize. It means  nothing, you fragging piece of slag-"

Wheeljack had dropped the cube of energon and had physically put himself between the smaller bot and Starscream. "Cliffjumper, what the frag! " He held his servo out, trying to placate him.

"I'm- I'm just saying what everyone is thinking!" Cliffjumper stammered, suddenly looking less sure. "We got our afts handed to us out there, and it wasn't because we interrupted their little energon raid. They miss their little seeker, who  defected, mind you-"

"Cliffjumper!  Stop. There is no way you could say this is his fault- what in the actual frag is wrong with you?!"

Cliffjumper's chest was heaving as he slid his optics from Wheeljack to Starscream. "It might not be his fault, I guess," he admitted angrily. "But I don't know who else I'm supposed to be mad at."

Starscream, unfortunately, could relate.

The three of them stood there, locked staring at each other for a moment before Cliffjumper finally turned on his pede and left. Wheeljack eventually relaxed but didn't turn around.

"I'm sorry, Starscream," he said quietly. He sighed a strut-deep sigh and put a servo on the back of his neck. "He… doesn't mean it. It was just awful out there."

Starscream just looked down at the smooth metal floor as if it were the most exciting thing in the world. "I don't know what you expected," he replied coolly. Which was unfair of him, especially to Wheeljack. Yet… he hadn't been able to express his frustration about the call dropping. He hadn't been able to yell about being locked in his room for hours.

And he hadn't had the chance to get upset about how anyone who got close to him got hurt. "Wheeljack, can I-"

"I've gotta go. Sorry, Starscream, I'll bring you more energon later," Wheeljack said distractedly. Without turning around, he stepped around the puddle of energon and the upended cube on the floor. He left, and when the door snicked shut behind him, Starscream flinched.

He sat back down on the berth for a moment, thinking. 

He swallowed and then got up and went back to the door. With a shaking servo, he tried to open it again with his device.

This time, it opened.  

His spark spun rapidly in his chest, and he slipped out into the hallway.

---

 

The Decepticons returned to their base with surprisingly less exuberance after a victory than usual. They had sustained very few wounds and had more energon than ever. It was possibly their biggest raid yet.

But no one was really celebrating.

They had attacked one of the more heavily defended electric plants that had a side-business of making energon for the Autobots. The humans had been surprised to see them as if just the merit of being under Autobot protection and having big laser turrets would have stopped the Decepticons from even considering this place as a target.  

The seekers had been particularly brutal.

They destroyed the plant and grabbed all of the stockpiled cubes almost without needing to say a word. They were oddly all on the same wavelength; even the usually-contrary Sunticons gladly took orders as they were given.

When the Autobots arrived, they probably weren't expecting a united front.  

It was about revenge, certainly. The Autobots had attacked them in their home and, for all intents and purposes, had won. They had crossed a silent line they had about attacking during recharge hours. And they had gone back on their promise about Starscream.

It wasn't all about Starscream, but his unfortunate situation had pissed off more than just one Decepticon. The Autobots had permanently altered him, and then they had the sanctimonious nerve to act like they were the only answer to his happiness. The Autobot holier-than-thou attitude was hard to swallow on a typical day, but here, with their hypocrisy laid bare before them, it was particularly bitter.

Thundercracker and Skywarp had been stoic about the whole thing, but everyone could see how this affected them. Many had seen how different their relationship had become since the new Starscream entered their lives. While most Decepticons thought that having pity was a weakness, they allowed themselves the rare indulgence here. Love was hard to find in this war, and the elite trine had seemed to have grasped it before it had been taken away from them.

The Decepticons took their frustrations out on their enemies and didn't hold anything back.

Megatron greeted his soldiers back to the base with a rousing victory speech. But everyone quickly realized it didn't have the same effect as usual. His anger became evident by the end, and his servos were tightly balled into fists.

 

---

 

Starscream tried to avoid running into mechs as much as he could as he snuck down the hallways. Occasionally he had to wait for some to leave the hallway before going around a bend, but he managed to avoid being seen so far. He idly wondered if someone on the security team had seen him on their cameras. Had they decided to leave him alone? Or were they too distracted with the Decepticons to notice?

He kept weaving through the hallways until he came face to face with Mirage.

"And just where do you think you are going?"

Starscream froze. Of all the mechs to run into at this moment, it had to be Mirage. "I was looking for the medical bay to check on Bluestreak."

Mirage smiled and leaned against the wall. "Well, you're at the opposite end of the base for that. In fact, you seem to be heading for the command room, where the communications hub is."

Starscream's spark was practically in his throat. "I suppose I got turned around."

"You… suppose," Mirage repeated slowly. His smile turned into a harsh smirk. "Let's get you back on track, shall we?"

He stepped in close and put an arm around Starscream's back. Starscream immediately felt his frame give up control and let himself be guided to wherever Mirage wanted.

Starscream ground his denta. "Mirage. Stop, please, I don't want-"

"Sadly, it doesn't really matter what you want, Starscream. You should know this by now."

Starscream was being pushed down the hallway against his will, and he hardened his jaw. He wanted to scream out in frustration, but nothing about his body was obeying his commands. Instead, he just kept tensing and loathing every humiliating moment of being physically manipulated. "I don't know what I did to you in the past, but I understand if you hold a grudge-"

"Oh, no, not really," Mirage said with a shrug. "Not any more than others. But I do have people I care about here, and if I learned anything from Jazz, it's that sometimes you have to bend the rules to get what you want." He gave Starscream a side-glance. " If  you have the  ability, that is."

Starscream didn't know Jazz that well, but he doubted that was a lesson he had wanted to teach. But he was used to mechs having the best of intentions and still making his life miserable.

Starscream's shoulders slumped. "This is really unfair-" he started, but he choked on his own words, unable to complete the sentence. Despair settled into his spark, and he took a ragged breath as his venting started to increase.

Mirage just didn't care. He didn't care that Starscream hated being physically controlled against his will. He didn't care that Starscream wanted…  out. He just wanted to take care of his own, and the sad part? Starscream couldn't entirely fault him for that.

But then Prime appeared in the hallway in front of them, and Mirage froze, just staring for a few moments. Prime's gaze was flicking from Starscream's grimacing face and Mirage's tight grip on his arm. Starscream didn't expect to find much hope in the Prime, and his wings fell further behind him.  

If he thought he was a prisoner before, he knew that things could get so much worse.

But to his surprise, Mirage released Starscream and took a step back. "It appears he was lost, sir."

Prime watched them for a moment, saying nothing and letting the silence yawn between them and increase in intensity. Starscream wasn't sure what the Prime was looking at or looking for between the two of them, but he wasn't sure it was a good thing. The silence was prickly and uncomfortable, and his despair at being caught only worsened as the moments ticked by. Starscream cast his gaze down to the ground, trying to calm the fluttering spark in his chest.

Finally, Prime spoke up. "Thank you, Mirage. I'll take it from here."

Mirage nodded and walked away, not casting a second look at Starscream at all. Starscream watched his receding back until he turned a corner, but he still didn't feel much better. Now he was alone with Prime.

Starscream looked up and locked optics with him, and they just stared at each other.  

"I tried," Starscream said simply. "But I can't."

Prime continued to watch him for a long moment and then sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I thought… I thought I had the right to this. I was so sure." He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He looked older and exhausted.  

"Do you want to go back to the Decepticons?" 

Starscream did want to go back there, back to the familiar gazes of the mechs, back to the warm embrace of his trine, and back to the dark but fun laughter of his old comrades. Even if it was dangerous to him and even if he got hurt along the way, he knew he would never live a normal existence. He might as well be near those who wanted him around and not just because he was a bargaining chip.

But at the same time, he still felt like he needed more answers. Starscream had learned so much from the smallest of conversations with Skyfire, and having tasted knowledge, he thirsted for more. "I do want to go back, but first, I want to talk to Skyfire."  

Prime's optics widened a little. Starscream bit the inside of his cheek and waited patiently for how this was going to turn out. Knowing what Starscream wanted didn't seem to matter to anyone; why would he even ask? His optics felt dull, and his wings began to hurt at how low they sagged on his back, but he kindled the smallest of hopes that Prime would finally listen to him.

 "We should go now," Prime said.

Starscream gave a small gasp of surprise. He nodded, following Prime out of the hallway.

 

---

 

"What do you mean? Of course we want to get him back!" Skywarp cried angrily.  

Thundercracker held a digit in front of his lips, trying to get Skywarp to quiet down. Megatron's speech had just finished, and he was starting to go into an angry rant about the state of the base.  He usually did this when he was frustrated, and without the old Starscream here to break the tension, things were escalating quickly.  Megatron grabbed Motormaster angrily and was yelling in his face.  "'Warp, I'm not suggesting we don't try and get him back; I'm saying I'm not sure we should bring him back to Megatron, is all."

Skywarp narrowed his optics. "I… don't like what you are implying."

Thundercracker sighed. "Then let me make myself clear. I am not going to let Megatron have Starscream. I will not let him mold our trinemate into a shell of his past self for Megatron's vanity. I am not going to let Megatron put Starscream in danger for a political ploy. I do not trust Megatron anywhere near Starscream."

Skywarp got tenser and tenser as each word was added to Thundercracker's declaration. "But…  we are here, Thundercracker. How can we get him back and keep him away from Megatron?"

Thundercracker took a deep breath and looked at the ground.

 

---

 

Prime drove Starscream in his trailer to a remote part of the state away from the native's settlements. He didn't talk to Starscream much, which did nothing to soothe his nervousness, but at the same time, none of his conversations with Prime had gone the way he wanted. Maybe it was better than silence was the only thing they shared.

But something was bothering Starscream. "What finally convinced you?"

Prime's engines were rumbling as they drove along. "Convinced me?"

"That I should have the freedom to make my own choices."

Prime gave him back a surprised silence that stretched long again into awkwardness. "I thought I always believed that," he replied sadly. "I think I realized I have a lot more to learn. I'm sorry for how things have gone down between us."

Starscream leaned his helm back against the wall of the trailer, deciding that he didn't mind someone apologizing to him this time.

When they arrived, and Starscream exited the trailer, Skyfire was waiting for him. His arms were folded across his chassis, and his stance was tense. Beside him stood two-winged mechs that looked incredibly nervous but said nothing.

"As I said," Prime rumbled as he transformed. "Starscream is now in your care."

"Nothing in exchange?" Skyfire asked suspiciously, arching an optic ridge.

Prime gave a side-glance to Starscream and then sighed. "No. Nothing in exchange."

Skyfire watched him for another moment and then turned to Starscream and held out his servo. "It's good to see you, Starscream," he said warmly. "Let's get you back to our home so that we can talk."

Starscream nodded. He took a few steps forward then turned to look at Prime one more time. "Please tell Bluestreak thank you from me for everything he did for me. I'm sorry he got hurt and that I couldn't say goodbye."

Prime's optics danced in the darkness, and he nodded quietly.

Starscream took Skyfire's servo, and they jumped into the air. Once they had some distance, Skyfire asked him to transform, and they flew faster to their base.

"Skyfire," Starscream asked. "Can I talk to Skywarp and Thundercracker?"

"Of course. That was always the plan if I thought that you needed to get away from the Autobots. I hope… things weren't too terrible for you."

Some tension finally released from his frame. "I think some of them really tried, which made the times where I was manipulated all the worse. But things… have not been great for me lately."

Skyfire was quiet for a few moments. "I do have something I need to show you when we land," he said. "I don't know if you need time to rest first, though. But… it's a recording from your former self."

Starscream's engine almost stalled.  

"I made a recording? What… about?"

Skyfire twisted in the air. "I'll show you."

Notes:

HEY ALL- I am so excited about the next chapter. It's like a Christmas present I wrapped up for you all back in chapter 3? You are gonna be happy I hope.

This chapter will come soon, but bear with me. I'm changing jobs and I'm trying not to abandon my minions in a terrible way so I'm very busy. <3

Chapter 26: This is Stupid

Megatron fell into a total rage.

He had been in such a good mood from the energon-pumping high of victory against the Autobots. But when he had arrived back at the base, his mechs were not reflecting his mirth. In fact, the returning Decepticons were positively dour.  

He glared. He built this faction on his cult of personality. They were supposed to be reflections of him, and right now, they were showing signs of independence.

This. Was. Unacceptable.

Why did everyone care about that pathetic seeker? He wasn't even a warrior anymore. Why did he matter?  Megatron had looked around the room at his mechs, and he barely recognized his faction anymore. Gone were the sadistic smirks of mechs who like to cause trouble for the sake of it, and instead, he saw severe faces of mechs who were disappointed about something.

It was like Starscream died, and his ghost infected everyone.

He threw Motormaster against the opposite side of the room. He squeezed and dented Scrapper's wrist in blistering fury. Astrotrain had been roughly batted to the side and was nursing a bad leg.

The seekers wisely kept their distance. Their resemblance to Starscream would not do them any favors at this moment.

Megatron started to yell at everyone again for their idiotic attitude and weakness. No-one stopped him. No one said anything derisive under their breath loud enough for him to hear it. There was not a singular petulant pout among all the faces that stared back at him with wide optics. No one claimed to be a better leader, no one challenged him, no one was left that evenly remotely filled the void left by-

He stopped. He flared his nostrils and released Scrapper’s wrist. He took a deep breath to steady himself the looked back at his army.

"I think the Autobots have had my seeker long enough."

There was a raucous yell of agreement, and there, there was the enthusiasm he was looking for. The mechs clapped each other on the back and were smiling wickedly at the thought.

They were of one mind again.

Megatron knew he felt Starscream's absence heavily, probably more than most. And even though the new Starscream was soft and often meek, that also meant he was pliable. Moldable.

He could be… perfect.

Had he been looking at the seekers, he would have seen Skywarp clench his denta and give Thundercracker a sad look. Thundercracker was just glaring.

 

---

 

The tiny home that belonged to this band of neutrals was the worst place Starscream had stayed yet in terms of amenities and… holes. But it also seemed to be the warmest and welcoming.

It was falling apart in some places, and some flight mechs were on top of the hangar roof, trying to fix the holes.  

"Damn it," he heard Skyfire say under his breath. "What happened?" he called as they all landed.

"Storm came through," one of the new fliers said, looking up. But upon seeing Starscream, he nearly dropped his hammer. "Is that-"

"Holy slag, it's Starscream!" A few other mechs appeared and were running at him.

Starscream took a nervous step back even though they just looked exuberantly happy to see him. It… was a change, to say the least. But after seeing Mirage again, and being physically manipulated, Starscream… didn't want to be touched right now.

Skyfire stepped in front of him and put up a gentle servo towards them. "Easy," he said gently to the excited fliers. They seemed to calm and just peered at Starscream with smiles.  

"It's good to see you," one said warmly.

Something constricted in Starscream's throat. "I- yes. Thank you," he managed, stumbling over his words. Something about their sincerity was affecting him. It reminded him of Skywarp and Bluestreak.

"Hungry?" another flier asked, pulling out a cube and handing it to Skyfire. Skyfire smiled and then turned around to offer it to Starscream.  

He looked at it, and even though his tanks were in knots, he accepted it and took a sip. It was good at least, and he nodded in thanks to the fliers. They murmured amongst themselves and then turned to go back to continue fixing the hangar.

"Why are they so… nice?" he asked quietly. "Did I know them?"

Skyfire smiled warmly. "The Aerialbots don't have a lot of role models for fliers other than those of an enemy faction. Now that you are here, well, they are excited to talk to you."

Starscream raised his optic ridges in surprise. Privately he laughed; the seekers he knew as role models? He loved them all dearly, but they were all strong personalities. He gave a wistful smile. He looked back down at his cube and took another sip, and though he was still hungry, he couldn't consume anymore. He was far too anxious. 

"What is it you want from me, Skyfire?"

The soft smile Skyfire had on his face vanished. He frowned a little before tilting his helm. "That is actually the first time you have sounded like your old self since I met you," he chuckled. "I'm sorry you've grown so suspicious so quickly."

It sounded a little condescending, but Skyfire was right. He had become suspicious of everyone's motives as a means to protect himself, and he wasn't sure it was a good thing. 

"I'm… well. You're right. I'm cautious because as much as I feel I can trust you, I don't actually know your motivations to help me."

"That's very fair," Skyfire replied. "I hope to earn more of your trust through my actions, then. But if you are asking me why I am helping you, it is because I want you to be happy, Starscream." His look pinched a little, and he looked away. "Do you want to rest?"

"I don't think I could until I see this… recording."

Skyfire nodded and beckoned him to follow.

 

---

 

Skyfire led him to a private room in the hangar with a few chairs and a display. They looked crudely made but comfortable and sturdy.

Skyfire's wings were stiff behind him. Nervous.

"Feel free to take a seat," he said as he fiddled with the display settings. Starscream took one of the seats and tried to relax.  

The recording flickered on, and there he was, staring back at himself. Starscream's breath caught as he stared at his former self. It was so odd to be looking at him as an echo from the past.  

His counterpart was scowling.

"Is this thing even on?" the Starscream in the video asked, narrowing his optics suspiciously. "How do I know it's recording?"

"That little red light? " came a gentle voice from off-camera. It must have been Skyfire. "That means it's on."

"Fine, fine, yes, alright," the Starscream said, waving dismissively at the camera. He glared for a moment longer and then huffed. "This is stupid, you know that, right? I'm talking to myself- "

Starscream tilted his helm. He was immediately enraptured by the mech on screen that was him but at the same time was very, very different from him.

"I think it will be helpful," Skyfire interrupted.  

"You think. You don't know. You don't know anything - maybe I'll hate you- maybe you won't even ever see me again." The Starscream paused, his face falling a little before he looked down at his servos. "At all."

"Yes. That is a possibility. " The disembodied voice sighed. "Why don't you want to stay here? With… me?"

The Starscream on the tape's optics softened but only slightly. "That's not a choice I can make. Megatron's not going to let me play house with you just because you asked nicely. Besides, I don't belong here."

"But I could help you. I could take care of you." Skyfire sounded so sad on the tape; it actually hurt Starscream's spark to hear it.

"Skyfire," the Starscream said, barely containing his irritation. "I'm not an Autobot. I'm not. I'm not going to inflict their philosophies on my new self, but if he wants to join the Autobots later, he can make his own decision. But, despite everything, the Decepticon cause is still something I believe in, and so that is where I- he will start. I won't have the Autobots corrupting me- him- ugh, that is so annoying."

Starscream could hear Skyfire sigh sadly on the video. He flicked his optics to the Skyfire who was watching the recording with him, and Starscream noted that his face was a mask of blankness, but he also looked… tragically sad.

"Hello, future self," the Starscream finally said on the tape. He was looking directly at the camera now, and Starscream actually felt like he was directly addressed. It gave him a shiver down his spine. "If you see this, then that means you found Skyfire again- which is good. You can trust Skyfire. But it also probably means things didn't work out with the Decepticons." He huffed a bitter laugh. "No surprise there. It was worth a shot.  

"I hope Skywarp and Thundercracker at least tried to rise to the occasion. I like to think, given time, I could have fixed what happened there between us, but I'm not a fool prone to optimism. I want to believe they will try, though.

"I can't know for sure, you see. I have a strange relationship with the Decepticons, who both hate me and need me around, but… maybe because of what happened, they'll be pleasant. Even Megatron says he'll try his best- and that's a laugh." At the mention of Megatron's name, the Starscream's voice turned hollow and bitter. His optics looked away for a moment, and he was clearly thinking through some memories. Starscream wished this old Starscream had said them out loud. He thought he could see the knowledge he so wanted just beyond his reach, but now there was no way to get it.

"I'm not going to say sorry as I don't believe in apologizing for something that's not my fault. That being said… everyone has made choices, myself included, and that led us to me being taken off the board. These choices led to you living with a frame that does not listen or obey you and a processor that is far too accommodating to other mechs. You got dealt a bad hand in that.

"I can't imagine what it must be like to be you. And I left you with all of my… plots unrealized, and I'm sure you resent me a little. I'm leaving you alone on the battlefield without any means to defend yourself.

"But... you aren't completely defenseless, are you?" he smirked. "I bet you have them eating out of your servos. We are survivalists, you and I. I doubt a lack of memories is going to change that."

Despite the situation, Starscream found himself smiling a little at his double on the recording.

"I have something for you if you want it," the old Starscream continued. "It might not actually be a blessing, so keep that in mind. But I'm offering it to you all the same." He took a deep invent and gave a slight, furtive glance at Skyfire off-screen.

"Right now, I am sitting in an Autobot brig about to be walked back to the Decepticons and have my memory erased after an, ugh, I don't know, are we calling this an accident?" he asked rhetorically. He shrugged his shoulders unhelpfully. "It was Jazz and Prowl messing with forces beyond their understanding in an attempt to find an end to the war.

"Everyone hopes to end this fragging war, and they will go to any lengths to do so. So permanently disabling a high-ranking Decepticon seeker is not a huge problem… however," he said, pulling back and folding his arms across his chest. "I am highly attuned to changes in the political landscape, and something feels… different about what they did and how they reacted to the consequences. Things have been in such a stalemate for so long; maybe this… event will shock everyone out of it. I hope you find a way to manipulate it."

There was another long pause and a sigh.

"Right before we turned on this recording," he started slowly, "Skyfire managed to copy my memories. If he is showing you this video, it means he still has them. So. What this means is if you want, you can have my… our memories back."

Starscream froze, his vents stilling.

"Unfortunately, these memories will replace whatever memories you have gathered so far. Functionally, you as you are would cease to exist. I would take your place."

Blessedly, the Starscream on the video stopped for a moment, perhaps guessing that his future self would be reeling from the news. And he was. It was like he had ice running through his lines, and he was quickly numbing from the implications.

"However," the Starscream continued. "You should understand; I am conflicted about this. I'm not going to try and manipulate you or even convince you of this course of action, though I'm sure I could, even from beyond the grave." His smile was not exactly kind, but it wasn't cruel either. "It is entirely your decision. We would install me back into your frame, and I would take over where you left off."

He seemed to stare at something off-camera.  

"I don't know what kind of life you are leading, but I'm not actually sure I want it either. I am proud. Arrogant. Independent. And I am honestly frightened by what you have lived through these past… whatever. However long it has taken you to get here. I hope it is more than a few days, but I hope it has not been years. Especially if you are suffering." His voice and optics were softer. "We have suffered a great deal, future self. I hope you were somewhat spared.

"I can already feel it starting to affect my emotions. I'm not able to get angry, and in truth, that is who I am. I am anger and rage, and the thought of having my memories back to remind me of all the slag I've put up with, but then I couldn't even get angry about it? All while not being able to control my frame? Not able to defend myself, use violence even if it was inflicted upon me?

"I can't fathom this. I would rather die. I would choose death over the life you are leading."

There was another long pause as the weight of his statement settled.  

Starscream saw Skyfire reach out and stop the playback. Then there was a gentle touch of a servo on top of his, and Starscream realized he had been trembling. "Do you need a break?" Skyfire asked softly.

He couldn't quite get his vocalizer to work. In truth, his mind was faltering, and he was overwhelmed, but he couldn't even think of stopping now. Starscream needed all of the information he could gather as he was finally getting answers that he so desperately wanted and needed. So he shook his helm, and Skyfire gave him a light squeeze of his servo before pressing play again.

"But maybe that's how you feel. Maybe you hate your life just as much as I think I would. Maybe you are done and want me to take responsibility for the life I threw you into, and that… might be fair." He shrugged, and Starscream thought he saw his optics shining in the light of the brig. "Screw Megatron and his stupid plan to keep me and my secrets' safe.'

"So I will give you this choice. If you are done… I will take over. I'll figure out a way to live though I may not want to. We can't let this universe be deprived of Starscream. We are a gift." But then his gaze became thoughtful.

"But maybe you are a better mech than me. Maybe you will decide you don't want my memories at all, and I wouldn't blame you. It can't be easy to have cleaned up my messes that I've left behind, but maybe you have found a way. And now this life is yours, and you want to keep it."

The Starscream in the video leaned back, crossing his arms across his cockpit. His face was flickering through some emotions, and Starscream only recognized some of them. Unconsciously, he folded his own arms across his cockpit in a similar fashion.

"So. You have choices to make. And I should warn you: though you can trust Skyfire, you can't ask him to help you make this decision. He is biased because he is in love with me."

The Skyfire on the tape made a noise, and the Starscream smiled fondly. "He's an idiot. It would be so much easier if he just hated me like everyone else."

"Not everyone hates you-"

"Perhaps not," he said with a sad smile. "But enough do."

There was another long pause, and then he continued. "It's bad luck that got us here. Hopefully, you'll have better luck than me."

He stared into the middle distance, and then his wings twitched irritably.

"How do you turn this thing off?"

"You just need to press this little button here."

"What, this?" the old Starscream said, leaning in to press a button on the camera. But it appeared he either clicked the wrong one or actually didn't turn it off. After he thought the video was over, his presence wilted, and his wings fell behind him.

"This is so stupid. It was a waste of time." 

"It wasn't. If there is a small chance that this could work, I have to try."

Starscream was staring at him beyond the camera. He squinted and then tilted his helm down to look at the floor. "You're going to need to take this memory too so that Hook and them don't see it when they start everything."

"I know ."

The old Starscream shifted a little, looking uncomfortable. He grimaced and then changed his face into something more carefully amused and smirking. "You could always try and start-up something with the new me. I'm sure he'll find you very attractive and incredibly appealing all over again."

Starscream blushed and suddenly felt like an interloper, like he wasn't meant to see this intimacy between them. He looked to the Skyfire next to him, who wasn't really paying attention. He was watching the Starscream on the recording with soft optics.

"I don't think I could do that to you. It would feel like a betrayal. "

The Starscream on the tape smirked. "As an expert on traitorous acts, I can assure you, this would not be even close to a betrayal, Skyfire," he admonished. "I'll be effectively dead. What am I going to do, haunt you?"  

Skyfire then appeared on-screen through some bars, leaning through them to kiss Starscream's old self. "I believe I have some experience with being a traitor as well," Skyfire murmured, tilting his helm against him. "I just don't want anyone else."

"You're a sap."

Skyfire chuckled. "I am. I'm sorry."

"Ugh. Apologizing for something that you clearly can't help because I am truly amazing-"

The recording stopped as the Skyfire next to him slowly pressed the button at the console. Skyfire kept his back to Starscream for a long time, and when he did finally turn around, he smiled. Starscream hadn't even noticed that he had gotten up as he was so engrossed in seeing how his old self talked.

It was strange to be looking at a mech he had clearly cared for not too long ago but feel next to nothing for him now. He couldn't imagine how painful it must be for Skyfire to look at him and see his Starscream, but Starscream had no recognition for him back. Skyfire must be an emotionally strong mech to be able to navigate this situation without breaking down.

But Starscream was… conflicted. He had a flare of fear wrap around his spark, threatening to choke him.

"Is this why you brought me here? To bring back your dead lover?"

Skyfire's smile became brittle as he pulled a servo up to his optics. "No," he replied raggedly. "I brought you here," he said with a shaky breath, "to fulfill a promise I made to him and your trine." He let his servo fall, and Starscream could see washer fluid starting to cascade down his cheek. "I want you to be happy," Skyfire said sadly. "Even if it means I never get what I want."

Starscream grimaced and tried to hold back his own tears. "Do I need to make this decision now?" he asked brokenly. "Because if so, then go ahead and-"

"No," Skyfire said forcefully. "No, you do not need to make this decision now. You can take as much time as you need."

Starscream didn't feel any better. "You could force me."

"I would never do that."

"But I wouldn't even remember. You could have what you want, and no one would know."

Skyfire knelt onto the ground, next to Starscream's chair, so that they were more optic to optic. "You are anxious that I am not going to give you a choice. I promise I am not going to do this against your will, Starscream. Things are still evil even if no one knows you have done it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. "

Starscream regarded Skyfire for a long time and eventually sighed. "Does anyone else know?"

"No. Just you and me."

Starscream nodded and tried to keep his face impassive. He was happy that his memories existed, but he didn't like what he would have to do to get them.

He pulled his servos up to his face and held them there. His breathing had become labored as he tried to process all of this. This was too big of a decision.  

Part of him wanted to be done. Let someone else deal with the petty politics of Megatron and Prime; he was ready to step away from it all. He didn't have the knowledge or the strength to eke out the existence that he wanted, and frankly, no faction had really shown themselves to be willing to help him. The old Starscream could deal with not being able to control his own frame or life.

But at the same time… he wasn't sure he was ready to go. He had gained things with his tiny little existence with Thundercracker, Skywarp, Bluestreak… Shockwave...

"And there is no way to install his memories without erasing mine?"

Skyfire put a gentle servo on his shoulder. "You are incompatible with the old memories now; there would be too many conflicts. We would have to reformat your memory again to start over."

Starscream sat in silence for a little while, thinking so hard that his processor began to hurt. "What do you see when you look at me? A thief, running around in your old lover's frame?"

"Oh, no. Not a thief. I see his heir and successor," Skyfire replied. "And you have your own life, your own thoughts, and your own well-being to think about."

Starscream nodded absently. He desperately wanted to be comforted at that moment, but he didn't dare seek it from Skyfire just because of how things used to be between them.

"I'll need some time, then," he said, finally. He was suddenly exhausted and just wanted to recharge for… centuries.

"Of course," Skyfire replied, removing his servo from his shoulder and standing to his full height. "I don't want you to feel pressured, so think it over."

Starscream nodded. "So… what happens now?"

Skyfire watched him for a few moments. "I think it would be best if you got some recharge. I have some quiet quarters for you. They aren't the most fancy, but they are comfy." He walked to the door, and Starscream eventually got up to follow.

Skyfire escorted him and said some warm words of encouragement before leaving him alone.

Starscream crawled into the berth and lay down on his side, trying to stop thinking before recharge finally took him.

 

Notes:

And finally, FINALLY the crux of the story I've wanted to tell this entire time lol. I hope I surprised some of you and you are still excited for where this is going- because I think I'm still going to surprise you again lol <3

Chapter 27: Precious and New

Silverbolt knocked softly at the rusty door.  The truth was he hoped that Starscream wouldn’t answer because, frankly, Silverbolt didn’t know what to say to him.  Sorry for your memory wipe?  Sorry that the Autobots messed up your processor?  Sorry that I’m still nervous around you even though you can’t hurt me?

Skyfire had asked Silverbolt to check on him and bring him a cube of energon since he had yet to emerge from his new quarters even though it was halfway into the next day.  Silverbolt had thought that maybe something had happened between them, given Starscream’s absence and how pensive Skyfire was suddenly.  Maybe Starscream had rejected him?  It was clear that Skyfire had been carrying a torch for the seeker, which could explain why Skyfire had asked Silverbolt to intercede.

But maybe he was hurt? Perhaps he had left?  Had he been kidnapped?  All things that were bad and so Silverbolt was about to knock again-

“Come in,” he heard from behind the door.  Starscream’s voice was soft and raspy.

Silverbolt took a deep breath. 

He opened the door and came in, seeing Starscream sitting at the edge of the berth.  His servos were resting on the edges beside his lap, gripping the berth with some force, and his shoulders looked slightly slumped.  Silverbolt might have been imagining it, but his wings looked drooped behind him.

Silverbolt felt guilty for interrupting his solitude.  He looked like he didn’t want to talk to anyone, but he also looked incredibly lonely.

“Uh.  Starscream, I’m Silverbolt. I brought you some energon.”

Starscream looked up at him and noticed the cube before nodding.  “I suppose it has been a little while since I fueled.  Just put it there on the table, would you?”

Silverbolt couldn’t help but be taken aback by Starcream’s gentle voice.  “Sure.  I guess…”  Silverbolt set the cube down with a soft clink and glanced back at him. “Skyfire wanted to know how you were doing.”

Starscream blinked back at him, and there was a significant tension that increased in his frame.  “Ah,” he said with a bitter laugh.  “Yes.  I suppose he wants an answer.”

Silverbolt frowned.  “No, I mean- I don’t think so.  He just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Starscream clenched his jaw and looked down at the ground.  “He really is a nice mech, isn’t he?”

Silverbolt didn’t mean to have his face heat, but it did so without his permission.  “Y-yeah.  He is.”

Starscream had looked up at him and gave a small, knowing smirk.  “I can see what my former self saw in him.  It is too bad that I am already in the middle of some relationships.”

“Oh?” Silverbolt said, feeling a slight bit of relief.  He wasn’t sure why he felt relieved but, the feeling was there, unbidden.  “I mean, I’m not trying to pry.”

Starscream gave him a fetching smile that was without any kind of malice or bitterness.  “My trine.  Things have… developed into something with Thundercracker and Skywarp, and I was truly happy.”  He sighed and gripped the berth a little harder.  “I am not sure what remains there with them after the stunt I pulled by going to the Autobots.  But I guess I don’t know for sure.”  He sighed deeply.  “And I kind of thought I detected something from Shockwave.”

Silverbolt swallowed.  “Erm.  Really?”

Starscream gave him a toothy grin.  “At this point, I like seeing everyone’s reaction to that bit of news.  Clearly, I saw something private from him that he must not often show to others.”

Silverbolt wanted to warn Starscream against the purple bot; not many other Decepticons inspired such fear or unease as the scientist. But it occurred to Silverbolt that he might need to reevaluate more than just one preconceived notion about his former enemies.  The idea that Thundercracker and Skywarp could be kind and gentle was also something he was having trouble wrapping his helm around.

“I’m not very experienced with these kinds of things,” Silverbolt replied.  “I’m not much older than you, I guess, since we were created only three years ago.  But I wish you luck.  I’m sure if Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave really care about you, they just want you to be happy, even if you have made mistakes.”

Starscream looked taken aback for a moment, his optics widening in surprise.  It was weird to see him so open with his emotions.  “I… hope you are right,” Starscream said slowly, smiling.  “That was very wise of you to say.”

Silverbolt’s face heated at the praise.  “I-I’m sure I’m just repeating something I’ve heard before.  But I’m glad it’s helpful.

Starscream’s optics softened.  “Are you trined, Silverbolt?”

“Oh no- I’m part of a gestalt.  My gestalt-mates and I combine to form Superion- a combiner.  So, no trine, per se.”

Starscream nodded thoughtfully.  “Ah, you are part of this famed combiner I’ve heard so much about,” he said gently.  He looked away thoughtfully before finally standing.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you finally.”  He extended out his servo.

Silverbolt glanced at the servo and then back up at Starscream.  “Honestly.  It’s good to meet you again too.”

They shook servos, and then Starscream nodded.  “I’ll be out soon.  I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Sure.  It’s a lot to keep jumping around different factions and meeting everyone.  And I’m sure… Skyfire is still confusing.”

Starscream’s smile faded a little.  “Yes.  Confusing is a good word for it.”

Silverbolt nodded.  “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or my gestalt.  We’re here for you.” He placed a servo on Starscream’s shoulder and ended with a soft look.  He then turned to leave, closing the door behind him.

Starscream stared after him in the rusty room and glanced at the energon cube before sitting back on the berth.

 

---

 

Starscream eventually decided to come out after another hour or so. He still couldn’t bring himself to sip the energon despite his tanks rumbling that he had not fueled in more than a day, but his anxiety sat heavily in his belly, and he wasn’t sure there was room for fuel there too.

He was nauseous at the choice he had to make.

Despite his desire to just get it over with and let Skyfire have his Starscream back, Skyfire was making him wait.  And think over things.  As he thought about it, he realized how sad Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave might be if he decided to go through with it and revert to his old self. 

Or… would they be sad?  They must have had some affection for his old self too as much as they liked the “new” him; he had picked up on some lingering feelings and a shade of the grief that Skyfire had.

Did all the mechs in his life like him, or did they like the memory of his old self, and he was the closest they could get to him still being alive?

These were dark thoughts, likely brought on by the events of the past couple of days.  Starscream was still trying to figure out who he was, and it was so hard with everyone’s expectations and memories of him getting in the way.

Starscream tried to dismiss these ideas because he knew in his spark the feelings he had shared with the mechs he loved were genuine; just the memory of Skywarp and his soft looks and amorous attentions were enough to soothe his spark.

But had he messed that up?

Both Skywarp and Thundercracker had drilled into him that loyalty to the Decepticons was important.  It was what they lived for, it was what they fought for, and if they had to, it was what they would die for.  Starscream had been alarmed by the thought; he could not fathom why the cause was so important to them.  Even his former self had been adamant that he should start as a Decepticon, and he certainly seemed to have formulated his opinions off of something.  He didn’t understand it, but he wished he had something he believed in that strongly. 

He walked down the corridor of the small base, finding it a novelty that he was alone.  He hadn’t been able to wander a place ever in his life.  He liked the solitude but wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

He just wanted to find somewhere to fit in.  Maybe this little dilapidated hangar on this small little island with a bunch of misfit fliers would be the place he would finally find… a home?

Was home a place?  Or was it the people you surrounded yourself with?

If he chose to keep this life, Skyfire might never have a home.

If he chose to get rid of his life, then maybe Shockwave…

Starscream clenched his jaw.  He stopped walking and only managed to avoid getting dripped on from a leak in the ceiling.  He grimaced as he looked up; this place was a total mess.  And Starscream felt like he knew how to fix it too; as in, if someone gave him some tools, he might be able to warp the metal around and seal it up properly.  But as he looked at it and imagined having the tools in his servos and attempting to bang and smooth the metal out, he realized he wouldn’t be able to do it.  He would be damaging something that was already damaged, but… it wouldn’t matter.

He stood there in the hallway looking up at the small hole in the ceiling, and it created a kind of spotlight on him.  Starscream sighed as he looked around and wondered what kind of existence was this?  To know what you once could do, to know what everyone else could do but yourself, but to know you were just unable.

It was unfair, of course.  But it went beyond that. 

He felt useless.

He looked down at his servos again and thought long and hard about the choice he had to make.  He didn’t know what to do because as much as it was unappealing to move forward for him, it would be the same for his old self.

At least Starscream didn’t have enemies.  His predecessor seemed to collect them.

The old Starscream would be helpless against them.  In a way, Starscream’s current ignorance and innocence protected him more than any mech could.

He continued walking down the hallway and entered a bigger common area where the other Aerialbots sat around a table chatting and playing a game.  Skyfire was seated next to another flier that Starscream didn’t recognize, talking quietly about something and occasionally smiling.  The atmosphere here was relaxed and unbothered by the war, and Starscream found he could relax for the first time in a while.

But he didn’t know these mechs.  He was an outsider, and as much as they were trying to include him, he was not about to open himself up a third time to try and truly befriend them, only to be ripped away yet again.  He didn’t think he would be here long. Someone else would decide they’d be a better keeper of him, and he’d have just to do what they say because that was what he did now.

“Starscream?”

He hadn’t realized Skyfire had noticed him and joined him by his side.  His voice was quiet and slightly worried, and Starscream looked up at his kind blue optics and just stared for a moment.  “Hi, Skyfire,” Starscream mumbled quietly.

“Did you get some fuel?”

“I did, thank you,” he lied.  He bit the inside of his cheek, looking away from Skyfire’s perceptive gaze.  He probably knew all his looks, all his ticks, and all his tells of what he was thinking. Starscream probably couldn’t hide anything from him.

“I regret that we couldn’t have talked more about everything before I showed you the recording,” Skyfire said lowly.  “I’m sorry that you are in pain.”

Starscream gave a ragged exvent.  “Honestly, I was in pain before, so it didn’t change much,” he replied with a shrug.  “I just don’t trust my ability to make choices.  I have made the wrong one in the past, with much less permanent results than this.”

Skyfire’s brow furrowed.  “I know.  It was a lot to leave at your pedes, and I will do anything to help you.  And I will be there for you, no matter what your decision.”

“That’s awfully kind of you.  I’m not sure I deserve such kindness.”

Skyfire shook his helm.  “We don’t often get what we deserve, Starscream.  You don’t deserve to have all this handed to you, but here you are.  You don’t need to be worthy of kindness.  I offer it to you freely, without any expectation.”

Starscream sighed and nodded, looking at the ground.  “I hate that for you to be with the one you love, I would have to die.”

Skyfire nodded.  “And I think for you to be with the ones you love, my Starscream would need to stay dead.  As I said, we don’t often get what we deserve.  We do the best with what we have.”

Starscream nodded, thinking hard for a long moment.  His resolve was weakening, and he just wanted the choice made so that he would stop thinking about it.  He was so tired of pacing back and forth over these arguments in his helm, trying to divine the right answer that would solve all of his problems.

He sighed.  “I think-”

“WHERE IS HE?”

Starscream blanched at the shouted question.  His spark skipped a few beats as he slowly turned, looking in the direction of the mech who had yelled.

A seeker had appeared in the common room.  His face was fierce as his red optics scanned all the inhabitants.

“Starscream,” Skywarp’s voice said, his voice becoming quieter as he finally found him and locked optics.

Starscream was glued to the spot. His mind was spiraling, and his throat felt like it was closing up with the overwhelming emotion when he saw him again.  Why- why was he here?  He stole a glance at Skyfire, who smirked.  “I thought you might want to see them again.”

Following behind Skywarp, Thundercracker appeared, and Starscream made a small, quiet whimper.

Skywarp rushed to him, and Starscream wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do, as he was so sure that Skywarp and Thundercracker would be furious with him.  He stood there, shaking a little, prepared to be yelled at, shaken, or angrily pointed at like that short red Autobot before who at looked at him with such malice-

But no.  Skywarp reached him and enveloped him in a crushing embrace.

Starscream tried to return the tightness of the hug, but he was weak.  He was trembling in Skywarp’s arms, and his mind was racing about what this meant.  He was scared and happy all at once, and he just happened to catch the optics of Skyfire over Skywarp’s shoulder, who looked at them with such soft affection that it finally broke the dam of Starscream’s emotions.

He sobbed and scrambled to hold Skywarp back, and before he knew it, Thundercracker had enveloped him on the other side, and they were trine, and they were together again. He was between the two mechs who had first shown him how to navigate this new world.  These two seekers had taught him how to fly again, had taught him what love and affection could be, had protected him, and had taught him to value life. 

He couldn’t abandon them.

“‘Warp,” Starscream murmured. Skywarp squeezed him harder and then leaned down to kiss him, using his arm to pull Starscream up against his cockpit so that he couldn’t escape. Starscream didn’t want to escape, and his frame relaxed in the strong hold.

Dimly he registered that the other bots in the room left to let them continue their reunion in privacy.  He thought he saw Skyfire give him one last little smile before leaving, but Starscream was so distracted by the kisses, the affection, the sheer relief that was Skywarp and Thundercracker that everything else was distant and hard to process.

Thundercracker pulled him away from Skywarp’s mouth to kiss him too.  Whereas Skywarp was insistent, demanding, and needy, Thundercracker was commanding, strong, but gentle, and Starscream surrendered to him.  Thoughts fled his processor as they kissed him and ran their digits across his plating.  He realized they were inspecting him for damage and checking to make sure he was alright.

They might have been talking, but he didn’t hear them.  He was just so happy he couldn’t think straight, and he was almost dizzy with contentment.

But the joyful feelings started to fade, and that old familiar lick of guilt washed over his processor.  “Skywarp, Thundercracker; I am so sorry,” he started mournfully.  “I should never have left you.”

Thundercracker answered him with a small smile and a kiss on his forehead.  “There is nothing to apologize for, Star,” he said in his deep rumbling voice.  Starscream loved hearing the sound, and he leaned into the kiss with his optics closed.  “You made a decision trying to help.  I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t trust us.”

“It wasn’t-“ he protested. 

Skywarp cut him off with another kiss. “I’m sorry, but less talking, more kissing,” he said huskily.  “Is there a berth nearby, or do I need to put you up on this table-“

“‘Warp,” Thundercracker said in warning.

“Don’t ‘Warp’ me; I missed him a lot, and I want to show him.”

“Can’t you just give him a minute? We talked about this-“

“I have a room that way,” Starscream said breathlessly, pointing down the hallway.  He was hazy from all of the kisses and a little weak in the knees, but Skywarp held him close.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, and Starscream looked up at him with dim optics.  Skywarp’s face was arranged in such a display of adoration that it melted his spark.

They made their way down the hallway, the two other seekers barely able to keep their servos off of Starscream, but he relished every moment of it.  He still wanted to talk, apologize, and beg for their forgiveness, but the desire to be close to them clouded over anything else.  He had been without physical contact for so long, especially from these two seekers who had defined everything for him, and here they were, showering him with affection and murmured promises of pleasure.

They reached the door, and Skywarp opened it as Thundercracker picked Starscream up, carrying him to the berth.  Starscream’s vents were hitching at the strength and the feel of Thundercracker’s warm plating against him.  He had missed their touch and their smell; something so familiar and yet hard to describe. 

Thundercracker put him gently down on the berth, and his optics were looking at Starscream with that constant watchfulness, looking for any sign that Starscream wanted to stop or was uncomfortable.  Well, he would be looking for a long time, as far as Starscream was concerned; he pushed his frame forward to kiss his lips and trace his glossa along his bottom lip.  Thundercracker hummed in delight, smiling wildly.  It appeared that despite his chastisement of Skywarp, he was just as enamored.

Skywarp slipped in behind Thundercracker, leaning up against his back.  As Thundercracker began to kiss down Starscream’s neck, Skywarp leaned over his shoulder to find Starscream’s neglected mouth and kiss him passionately.

Starscream felt rising heat in his frame, and he tried to stifle a shiver.  Their searing mouths and exploring digits traced his frame like it was precious and new, and he held onto them as they gently loved him, voices breathy, needy, and desirous of more. 

After a particularly clever mouth brought him to overload, he found tiredness won, and he blearily pawed at his trinemates, wanting to wrap around them.  Both chuckled affectionately, murmuring to him and settling down beside him.

 

Notes:

Finally something happy? lol <3

Also, thank you, THANK You so much for leaving comments. I'm slowly getting through them all, you all just MAKE ME SO HAPPY- I can't believe the reception on this fic and I am so happy to have you along. You all are wonderful.

Chapter 28: It is Complicated

“You've, uh, got tasty energon here,” Skywarp said to the wide-opticked Aerialbots.  They watched him in wonder as he sipped from his cube again.

“He drinks just like we do!” one of them whispered not-too-quietly.

Skywarp arched an optic ridge and twitched his wings. 

Starscream watched from the couch, smiling.  The Aerialbots had been adorably following them around since they woke up and emerged from their room to get some fuel.  Right now, they were fascinated with Skywarp’s antics, and as much as he seemed unnerved, Starscream could tell he relished in the attention. 

Thundercracker was seated beside him, watching with amusement as well.  “I always wanted to talk to them more,” he said quietly.  “They were created so late in this war to counter us in the skies and combiners specifically, and even though they aren’t exactly seekers, they still feel like kin.”

“We could always stay here to get to know them better.”

Thundercracker’s smile faded a little.  “I wish we could.  But I think that would be inviting disaster on them.”

Starscream frowned and then leaned his shoulder against Thundercracker, seeking closeness.  “Megatron won’t let us go like the Autobots let them go?”

Thundercracker wrapped an arm around his waist, gently petting the plating on his side.  “No.  He would brand us traitors and try to get rid of us for betraying him.  We only just managed to get out of the base on a long-term patrol to keep where we were going secret.  Ramjet and his trine are covering for us, but we do have to go back soon.”

Something in the way Thundercracker was talking sent off some alarm bells in Starscream’s helm.  Thundercracker was avoiding meeting his optics, and his shoulders were tense.  “Did something happen?”

Thundercracker turned his helm quickly, his beautiful lips opening in surprise.  He softened a little and smiled fondly.  “You need to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Reading me.  Reading us,” Thundercracker said, chuckling.  “You are far too smart for your own good.  Always have been, but now it is particularly annoying.”

Starscream grinned.  “I make use of my many gifts.  You can’t fault me for using them to my advantage,” he said, smirking.

Thundercracker huffed a laugh and pulled him closer.  “No, I suppose not.”

Starscream loved being so close to him.  It reminded Starscream of slightly happier times when he had first come online, and he was experiencing everything for the first time, including the affectionate but wary touches from Thundercracker.

Starscream leaned his cheek against Thundercracker’s chassis and sighed.  “But you didn’t answer the question.”

Thundercracker sighed.  “Megatron is the most unstable I have ever seen him.  That worries me.”

Starscream watched as Skywarp tried to extricate himself from the interrogation he was undergoing from the curious and excitable Aerialbots.  He kept looking over at Starscream and Thundercracker for help, and Starscream gave a flirty little wave as if to say, sorry, you’re on your own. Skywarp frowned in agitation.

“Unstable,” Starscream repeated.  “What does that mean, exactly?”

Thundercracker stared off into nothing for a moment.  “He’s making strange decisions that suit his fancy rather than a strategic goal.  He’s hurting his soldiers rather than listening to them.  He’s obsessed with… things.”  Thundercracker’s hesitancy made Starscream question how he really wanted to end that sentence. 

“Is that different than normal?” Starscream asked, perhaps with a little bit of an edge.

Thundercracker sighed.  “Perhaps not.” His servo had stopped petting Starscream’s side.  He turned his helm and pressed a kiss to the top of Starscream’s helm.  “I guess I just didn’t see it before.” 

Starscream indulged in the sensation of the kiss, and his spark happily thrummed.  “Why do you follow him?” Starscream asked, remembering Bluestreak asking him the same thing.  “This war makes very little sense to me, and both he and the Prime are looking less and less worthy of leading anyone to me.”

“It is complicated.”

“It always is.”

Starscream knew he was being a little petulant, but he thought he might deserve a chance to be childish for a moment.  Right now, he had a kind of contentment he had been seeking all his short life.  He had his lovers, new friends, old friends, friendliness, warmness, closeness, safety- and the war that he could only ever watch at a distance was nonexistent here.  He didn’t want to give it up to obey the whims of a mad tyrant.

Thundercracker smiled fondly.  “I wish the situation were different.  No Megatron, no Prime, no war.  There would definitely be a lot less violence, and you would be safer.”

“What if we could end the war, though? I think it is more of a possibility than any of you are thinking.”

Thundercracker's wings twitched.  "It's really hard to see, Star.  I honestly wonder if the only way to stop it is if we’re all dead."

Starscream stilled. Thundercracker sounded so bitter and lost, and Starscream wanted to ease that somehow.  “I’ll find a way to stop it,” Starscream said quietly.  “I can’t lose you.”

Thundercracker gave an annoyed huff of breath, “Slag, I’m sorry, Star.  I’m just not in a good mood- I didn’t mean-”

“Hey- yes, younglings, yes, okay, we’ll go flying-” Skywarp was saying over his shoulder.  He reached the couch and completely ignored the strange mood affecting Starscream and Thundercracker, and he reached for Starscream and pulled him to his pedes.  “Come on, please, you have to help me!” he whispered loudly.  “They are driving me crazy.”

Starscream laughed, pushing mirth to the forefront of his emotions, trying not to let Thundercracker’s words get to him.  “But they like, you Skywarp!”

“Primus knows why,” Thundercracker snarked, earning a flick to the side of the helm from Skywarp.  Thundercracker winced but smirked.  “It’s because they don’t know any better-”

“Alright, enough out of you,” Skywarp huffed, gently pushing Starscream in the direction of the Aerialbots.  “Please, distract them with your cuteness.”

Starscream arched an optic ridge.  “I’m not-”

“Adorable,” Skywarp cut him off fondly.

Starscream scowled but then rolled his optics, walking off towards the Aerialbots, who eagerly welcomed him into their conversation.

Skywarp watched him go and clenched a fist.  He gave Thundercracker a pleading look over his shoulder and opened his mouth to say something, but Thundercracker cut him off with a short, “Don’t.”

 

---

 

Skyfire was sitting at his desk, looking over some plans for a new generator.  He thought he had finally figured out that fine line between reliability and output, and he hoped to implement the changes soon.  It was difficult on this remote island.  The humans were kind enough to trade with, but they were confused as to why he wasn’t going through the official channels set up by the Autobots.  Skyfire had realized quickly, not to mention he wasn’t an Autobot anymore.  It seemed humans had more trouble recognizing neutral sides to war than he had thought.

“You purposely stacked my choice against what you want.”  Starscream’s voice floated from the doorway.  “Bringing Skywarp and Thundercracker here was unexpected but appreciated.”

Skyfire smiled without looking up.  “I think I just gave you more pieces to make a more informed decision.”

Starscream sat down heavily on the chair in front of him with a huff.  “You are the opposite of manipulative.  I don’t know what that is.  Self-sabotaging?”

“Maybe,” Skyfire said, smiling wider and looking up.  “Earnest to a fault?”

“Ah, yes, that’s what it is,” Starscream replied. 

It was too easy to slip into familiar banter patterns with him.  The new Starscream didn’t quite have the same acerbic glossa that his predecessor did, but it was there, just lingering under the surface.

Starscream stared at Skyfire for a few moments and then took a deep invent.  “Look, I… don’t know what the future holds.  I don’t know if I am going to regret this, but I think I want to stay as I am, as my own person, without my old memories.”

To Skyfire’s credit, his smile didn’t fade.  “I knew you would make that decision.  It is frankly the only one you should make.”

Starscream worried on his bottom lip.  “I am so sorry.”

Skyfire stared for a few moments, casting his gaze down at his folded servos on his desk.  It was a small thing for him to say that, but it was appreciated. He was also the only other person in the universe that understood what Skyfire was going through.  This was like losing Starscream, yet again, even though he was tantalizingly within reach.

He smiled wryly to himself.  That was about how the seeker had always been for him.

Skyfire knew he had done the right thing, but it still killed him a little his plan to soothe Starscream had worked.  Skyfire had recognized it immediately; Starscream missed the ones he loved, and he ached for their comfort and guidance, and he was lost without their presence.  Part of Skyfire wondered if this was the kind of separation that had turned Starscream into the cynical, cruel version of himself.  Without the moorings of support, would this new Starscream have become like his old self?

He took a deep breath and nodded.  “I appreciate the sentiment.  I suppose I should destroy his memories then so that you can rest assured that no one will ever take this choice from you.”

Starscream’s vents stilled.  He seemed so surprised, and Skyfire wanted to frown. He was already so amazed when someone listened to his choice and stuck with it.

“There is no need for that,” Starscream replied slowly.  “I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I want you to keep them.  Please.”

Skyfire was confused.  “Are- are you sure?”

Starscream nodded.  “I have never been more sure of anything in my life.  I don’t know what is possible, but there is a chance for you as long as his memories exist. If there is a way that you can have your Starscream again, I want you to pursue it.”

Skyfire was momentarily speechless.  Something that was wrapped around his spark was uncoiled, and he relaxed his shoulders.  There was a long pause that stretched between them, and then finally, Skyfire nodded.  “Thank you, Starscream.”

Starscream shrugged.  “It’s the least I can do.  You have been extremely kind to me, Skyfire.  I count you as a dear friend, and I can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for me.”

It was odd to hear him with such gratitude.  The Starscream he had known at the academy had never been so polite.  “I will always and forever be your friend.  I’m afraid despite your attempts to get rid of me over the years, I keep coming back.  Seems to be a trait of mine.”

Starscream smirked.  “I can see why he liked you.  You are also a survivalist.”

Skyfire stood and walked around his desk to sit on the side closer to Starscream.  “What are your plans now?”

“I believe we are returning to the Decepticons, but I can’t seem to get a straight answer from Thundercracker and Skywarp as to when.  They are oddly evasive.”

Skyfire thought he could guess why, but he didn’t want to interfere.  “I’m sure they just wanted to give you a chance to catch your vents.  A lot has been happening for you lately.”

Starscream gave him a curious look but shrugged.  “I’m sure that’s it.”

Skyfire nodded.  “While you are here, I wondered if I could get your opinion on these mechanisms in the generators.  I can’t seem to make them work for more than a few days.”

Starscream furrowed his brow.  “I’m not sure how helpful I will be given my limited experience.”

“I’d still like to run it by you regardless if you’ll humor me.  I’m pretty sure your brilliant mind and ability to think outside the box are still there even if your memories are not.”

Starscream seemed pleased at the compliment, and his wings twitched.  “Far be it from me to deny you my brilliant mind, then.” 

Skyfire smirked, beckoning him to follow him down the hallway.

Chapter 29: Didn't Come With A Manual

Eventually, they did go for a fly.

It wasn’t a very long one.  Skywarp and Thundercracker explained that they didn’t want to go too far from the hangar in case a Decepticon patrol happened in the area.  Also, the Aerialbots being seen with Decepticons might not do any favors for their neutrality.

Starscream was just happy to go flying with his trine again.  Having other fliers with them felt right and good in the same way that a big open room did, even though he still didn’t quite understand these feelings.  He happily streaked across the sky, taking up the third position behind Thundercracker’s lead in their trine formation.

That still felt a little weird.  As Starscream flew more, he found himself wishing to take the point, but Skywarp and Thundercracker would always maneuver so that he was back in third.  It felt like a slight admonishment, but they never spoke as to why he couldn’t lead.  He’d have to ask them later.

Come to think about it, he doubted his old self would have settled for anything other than leading.  He was so confident and arrogant; Starscream envied those traits.  He seemed to know exactly what he wanted and was able to just take it-

:Star, we’ll be turning around,: Thundercracker said. 

Starscream frowned internally.  :It’s over already?:

:We’ve been out here for over an hour,: Skywarp said, laughing.  :Race you back.:

Starscream had already banked into a turn and had gunned his thrusters.  The Aerialbots laughed over their comms and joined in the race, and Starscream smirked as he outpaced them.  He pushed harder, lazily spinning, until he heard the distinctive sound of Skywarp’s engines catching up to him.  Then he stopped messing around and really opened up his throttle.

Skywarp cheated, the slagger, transporting ahead whenever Starscream was leading.  Still, Starscream was able to move past him every time, and Starscream kept pressing as he knew Skywarp had a limit to his outlier. 

:You are irritating,: Skywarp chided over the comm channel.  Starscream smirked to himself and threw his thrusters on to the max.

And then there was just an open, endless sky.

Starscream loved the open sky, he realized.  There was a lot of freedom up here, and there were boundless possibilities of where he could go or what he could do.  No rooms that locked him up tight.  No underwater bases that leaked.  No stifling air or strange looks.  No expectations of what he should be or used to be.

He was content.

But he had come to suspect contentedness.  Something must be looming on the horizon because that was what life had taught him so far.  He could never be happy for long.

He reached the hangar and transformed, landing with a flourish.  Skyfire arched an optic ridge, standing nearby, having watched their flight from the ground.  “You could have at least given them the pretense that they could keep up with you.”

Starscream laughed.  “And what, lie to them?  That seems cruel.”

“Giving someone hope isn’t cruel,” Skyfire joked back.  “Even if it is a false hope.  Gives them something to aspire to.”

Skywarp and Thundercracker landed nearby shortly later, grinning.  “Fast as ever, Star,” Thundercracker said proudly.

“Yeah… Primus,” Skywarp breathed.  His vents were completely open, trying to cycle air and cool down his engines. 

Eventually, the Aerialbots landed, excitedly asking questions about how they flew and praising the seekers for their flying.  Skywarp looked bewildered at their compliments, his optics wide and confused. Starscream stepped in and diverted some of their attention away from his struggling trinemate. 

At some point, Skyfire pulled Thundercracker away, and they seemed to have an uncomfortable discussion.  Thundercracker’s wings flared, and he looked angry, but then Skyfire said something to soothe him.  Starscream wanted to go over and find out what was being said, but then it was suddenly over, and they walked away from each other. The conversation seemed to end amicably enough, but Starscream’s curiosity was so piqued that he missed a question from Silverbolt.  He apologized and asked him to repeat it.

Starscream didn’t miss the small glance Thundercracker gave Skywarp when he returned to their little circle of fliers. Then they both smoothed their features and pretended like nothing was wrong.

That strange feeling of foreboding returned, and Starscream tried not to frown.

 

---

 

Starscream wondered if he should tell Thundercracker and Skywarp about his old memories.

He thought about how they had hidden things from him or at least mischaracterized some things, and he knew he didn’t want to do the same thing back.  He hated not trusting them fully and constantly worrying that he had to read into every phrase they said to him. 

They were seated around a table in the common living area, drinking energon and just chatting.  Skywarp and Thundercracker talked about Vos and how things used to be for flightframes right before the war, both the good and the bad.  Skyfire kept his face impassive, but Starscream could tell he was biting his glossa.

He leaned over to Skyfire.  “Do you not agree with what they are saying?” he whispered.

“No, it’s all… accurate.  To my knowledge, anyway,” he replied quietly.  “I just want to make sure they aren’t recruiting for the Decepticons.  The Aerialbots look up to them a little, and I worry.”

Starscream looked back at Skywarp and Thundercracker.  “I don’t think they are.”

Skyfire sighed.  “I wish you all could stay here instead of going back. We would be happy to have you.”

Starscream smiled fondly.  “I asked the same thing, but it appears that might invite more disaster to your little burgeoning faction.  You don’t want to fight, and they don’t want to draw you into it.”

Skyfire’s blue optics softened.  “Well then, take care of yourself.  And if you ever need anything, you can always rely on me.  Do you know when you are leaving?”

“No,” he replied, shifting in his seat.  “But I intend to find out.” 

 

---

 

The trine was relaxing in Starscream’s quarters. They had been preening and just basking in each other’s company, and Starscream knew he was ruining the mood, but he couldn’t stand it anymore.

Starscream had enough of his trinemate’s evasiveness.

“When are we going back to the Decepticons?  I’ll want to say my goodbyes to the Aerialbots.”

Skywarp flicked his optics to Thundercracker and then back to Starscream.  It was that weird secretive look again that Starscream had seen them share a few times. 

“…Soon,” Skywarp said quietly.

Starscream looked between them, feeling that heavy weight in his tanks when he knew someone was holding something back.  His mouth twitched a little.  “I thought we were past this,” he said quietly.  “I thought you weren’t going to keep anything from me anymore.”

Skywarp winced, which was telling.  Thundercracker was staring stoically at the ceiling as if not hearing him.

“I thought you weren’t going to make decisions for me,” Starscream said with a touch of heat.  He felt that odd tingle down his neck, attempting to numb his tongue and stop him from saying something that would hurt someone.  But he barreled right through it, grimacing as the strange burning sensation that lanced through his plating increased as he tried to rebel against the pacification programming.  “I just want to know what is going on; give me some control here, please.”

“Star, it’s not- it’s not like that,” Skywarp said.  “We’re trying to keep you safe-”

“The least you could do is tell me what is going on, then!” Starscream cried.  Fury welled up in him, and he had trouble tamping it down despite how he felt the whisper of disapproval coming from code whisking through his sensors.  “Don’t treat me like a sparkling; I’m an equal member of this trine and this relationship with you two, and if we aren’t returning to the Decepticons, just let me know!”

Skywarp looked crestfallen and shut his gaping mouth.  Starscream took no pride in that; he hated snapping at his trinemates.  They were everything to him, but that was also why he wanted so much more from them.

“I did tell you what is going on,” Thundercracker replied evenly.  “Or at least part of it.  Megatron is unstable and obsessive.  Over you.”

Starscream blanched. “Me?”

“He always was odd about you,” Thundercracker said bitterly.  Something about the way he twisted his mouth when he said it reminded him of when the Combaticons had said something similar.  “And usually, you pushed back against his idiosyncrasies because you could fight back.  Now you can’t, and I don’t want to know what he’s planning.”

Starscream frowned at this information.  “You told me I could trust him.  You said that he had pledged to take care of me-”

“Well, I was wrong,” Thundercracker said, raising his voice.  “I was wrong, and I’m sorry!  I’m a terrible trineleader, I can’t keep you safe, I have failed you every step of your new life, and now I am about to do something that will make you hate me even more, but I don’t have a choice.”

Starscream’s optics went wide.  “What?” 

Skywarp reached out and gathered an uncomprehending Starscream into his arms.  “Star.  Star, listen.  It’s going to be okay, I promise.  But you can’t stay on Earth.”

Starscream’s vents stilled.  He looked incredulously at Thundercracker, who could barely meet his optics.  “You’re coming with me, right?” 

The silence was deafening. He looked to Skywarp, who had his lips in a tight line.

 “You’re sending me away?” Starscream whispered.

Thundercracker gave a shaky invent, emotion overtaking him a little.  “Right now, the Autobots know you are here.  The Decepticons think you are with the Autobots.  Skyfire will think we took you back to the Decepticons.  No one will know where you are, and you will finally be safe.”

“But I’ll be alone!” Starscream cried.  His optics welled up with frustrated tears.

“You won’t be alone,” Thundercracker said gently.  “Megatron will immediately be suspicious of us and will be watching us closely.  But we will find a way to join you and keep you safe. I promise.”

“I- I finally have you again,” Starscream said pathetically.  “I’m sorry I went to the Autobots- I shouldn’t have, I realize that, I just thought-”

“Star, this isn’t a punishment!” Thundercracker said exasperatedly.

“Starscream,” Skywarp said, pressing his forehead against him.  “Our lives are long.  You don’t realize how long they are because you are young,” Skywarp said gently.  “This is only going to be a short while.  We are going to do everything in our power to make things safe for you, but we can’t do that unless we know you are out of this equation.”

Starscream tore his gaze from Thundercracker and looked at Skywarp.  “But you’ll constantly be in danger, in a war, and I will never know if you are okay.”

“We will get messages to you.  We will find a way to see you again.  And we will be able to do what we need to do because we won’t be worried about someone trying to snatch you!”

Starscream clenched his jaw, knowing he was losing this fight.  It wasn’t fair that he didn’t have the words to fight them back or the argument to convince them. They knew him so well, and he didn’t have the arguing experience.  It must be nice to have this fight already prepared and stacked against him, devising logic and reasons why Starscream had to leave.  He wanted to talk them out of this course of action, but his processor was clouded by distress.

And his frame was prickling painfully.

“Please," he begged.  "Please don’t send me away.”  Every word was becoming more difficult for him to say.  His glossa felt like it was swelling, and his vocalizer burned.  “I will stay out of the way, I won’t cause you problems-”

“Star-”

“Just please, listen to me!” Starscream said, his voice cracking.

“Starscream.  Please don’t make this harder on us than it already is,” Thundercracker said quietly.

Starscream felt something click into place in his processor, and his face went blank.  His tears slowed, and he felt the emotion leech out of him.

“Star?” Skywarp said worriedly.

Starscream panicked, but it was distant, as if not happening to him, but to someone else.  He quietly pressed into Skywarp’s hold, trying to memorize him.  “Something feels weird.”

Thundercracker leaned forward and touched him.  “You’re burning up.”

“Like when the code first activated?” Skywarp asked worriedly.

Starscream felt dizzy and tired, and he just wanted to crawl up with his trine and sleep.  His frame was uncomfortably warm, and his cooling fans clicked on.

“Was it because you were fighting?” Skywarp asked.  “He looked so upset.” He held Starscream close, stroking the side of his helm, trying to soothe him.

Thundercracker looked concerned and then horrified.  “Was it because of what I said?”

Starscream’s helm began to hurt, and he grimaced.  Skywarp and Thundercracker were talking very quickly, and Starscream couldn’t keep up.  All he wanted was peace and quiet and a good, long nap, but they wouldn’t let him rest. His trine gathered him up into their arms and started to move him.

“We don’t have time to wait,” Thundercracker said.  “I know you want to say goodbye, but I don’t want them to guess where we are sending you.  We need to get you out of here and to someone who will know what to do.”

Starscream nodded weakly, more of a passenger in his frame now than an active participant.  He felt unmoored and distant and wrong, and he could not really crystallize it into words.  He leaned against Skywarp and allowed his trine to take him out of the base; the journey was a blur. Then they were outside, and they jumped into the air.

Starscream must have passed out a few times.  He didn’t remember much other than the soft words of encouragement from Skywarp and Thundercracker.  They were apologizing, lightly arguing with each other, trying to get him to talk to them, and then trying to soothe him.

“…it’s not like the pacification came with a manual!” Thundercracker shouted.

“But he’s right- we should have told him!  Then he wouldn’t have gotten all upset, and this wouldn’t have…”

Their voices came in and out, and no matter how he tried to focus, he found he could not.

“…I don’t trust anyone else with him,” he heard Thundercracker say.  “He’s the only one who can help him if the program has increased somehow.”

“But what if he flirts with him?” Skywarp said petulantly.  “He’s gonna go after him, I just know it-”

“Skywarp,” Thundercracker chastised.  “You think everyone is going to seduce him.”

“And you seem to forget how attractive he is!” Skywarp growled in frustration.  He jostled and held Starscream a little closer to him in his arms. 

“Starscream is capable of making his own decisions.  You don’t have exclusive rights to him.”

Skywarp huffed his vents angrily.  “That wasn’t what I was saying, and you know it!”

Thundercracker sighed. “Skywarp.” His deep rumbling voice was quiet even over the roaring of their jet engines.  “This hurts me too.  I’m just not as good at showing it.”

Skywarp frowned.  Starscream reached up his servo to touch his face, barely registering what they were saying, but he knew it was about him.  Skywarp looked down at him, his optics gentle but overwhelmingly sad.  He leaned into Starscream’s servo.  “Please don’t hate us, okay?  I know we fragged up, but I do want to do right by you after this is all over, Star.”

Starscream wanted to reply that he couldn’t ever hate him, but he was angry with them.

Maybe.  He wasn’t sure what he was feeling anymore.

They arrived a short while later at a small island with a large, circular platform made of purple metal.  Ramjet met them in the air.  “You weren’t due for another few hours.”  He sounded irritated, but his look changed when he saw Starscream.  “What’s wrong with him?” he asked worriedly.

Skywarp gingerly handed him over to Ramjet’s confused arms.  “We need you to send him through the space bridge to Cybertron.”

“What? Me?”

“Yes,” Thundercracker said.  “We need you to do it that way we can answer truthfully if and when Soundwave questions us.  We don’t think he’ll question you.”

Ramjet furrowed his brow and rearranged Starscream in his arms.  “But we don’t have the energy to spare!”

Thundercracker looked to Skywarp and he teleported away.  He reappeared near the device on the ground and unloaded some cubes from subspace.  “Skyfire was very generous,” Thundercracker said.

“Did you steal from him?” Starscream asked weakly, his glare softer than he wanted.

Thundercracker sighed.  “Well, we tried to steal some, but he caught us.  He offered it to us freely.”  He sighed again at Starscream’s irritated look.  “Starscream, we are Decepticons.”

Skywarp reappeared in the sky next to them.  He had finished unloading the cubes.

Ramjet looked down at Starscream and then back to Skywarp.  “But why me?”

“You wanted to help, didn’t you?” Skywarp replied.  He frowned as his wings twitched, and he looked back over to Thundercracker.  It was clear they were about to leave.

Starscream gripped weakly at Ramjet’s arms.  “Wait- please-” he managed to say weakly.

Skywarp was giving him the softest of smiles, and it hurt.  He leaned forward and kissed Starscream, cupping the side of his helm.

He pulled away, and Thundercracker was there, and Starscream stifled a whimper.  “I just- I need you to know we love you, Star,” Thundercracker said, his voice raw.  “I know we have done a slag job of it, but we really do care about you.”

Starscream was so tired, and his frame was dragging. “Stay safe,” he said with resignation.

They left quickly as if afraid they might change their minds.  That left a bewildered Ramjet holding Starscream, who was rapidly falling more into his grip.

“Hey.  You okay?”

“No,” Starscream replied quietly. “I’m not.”

Ramjet harrumphed, gliding down to the space bridge.  He spun all the dials, and Starscream watched with dull optics. 

Ramjet noticed his gaze.  “I’m making it look like an energy surge tripped some things to fool the logs.  I don’t want them to guess that we sent an unauthorized mech through.  We do this all the time,” he said with a wink. 

Starscream swallowed and looked down at his pedes.  “Please take care of them for me.”

Ramjet sighed.  “I thought you owed me a favor.”  He kept typing away at the console, his mouth frowning a bit at the corner.

Starscream looked up at him.  “You’re right,” he said quietly.  “What do you want?”

Ramjet stopped typing, his optics going wide.  He still had his arms wrapped around Starscream, and they tightened slightly.

Then, as if coming to a conclusion in his mind, he smirked and relaxed.  “Nothing you can give me, I think.”

Starscream was distantly sad that he couldn’t make him happy.  He liked Ramjet well enough, and the thought of disappointing him made him very upset indeed-

Wait.  Wait, what?

Ramjet had turned away and was not looking at Starscream or his rapidly rising panic. Starscream looked down at his frame and quickly felt a creep of panic start to crawl up his neck.  Why did he care so much about upsetting Ramjet?  His dizziness increased.

What- what was wrong with him?

Ramjet guided him up the platform and dropped him off to stand on the bridge.  “Take care of yourself, Star,” Ramjet said.  “I’ll look after your idiot trinemates.”

Starscream wanted to ask him to wait a little longer but knew he couldn’t.  He nodded in thanks before the space bridge activated, and a bright flash of energy swirled around him, and the world of Earth disappeared.

Notes:

Sorry if you thought this was ending soon- but we ARE approaching the final act ;) But I know how I'm ending it, so we'll be marching towards that. <3 <3 <3

Chapter 30: Variables

Shockwave stood at his console and heard the space bridge activating.  There were no scheduled arrivals, so he primed all of his weaponry, training it on whoever decided to be foolish and try to come through.

The base was set to high-alert, a low blaring of the klaxons beginning to sound.  Shockwave thought about alerting one of the other bases, seeking back-up, but something told him that it would be prudent to wait until he had more information.

The mech materialized, and he saw a bedraggled Starscream, standing weakly on the platform.  He looked like he was about to fall over. 

“Starscream,” he greeted.

“Shockwave,” Starscream replied quietly.  “You are next on the list to take care of me, it seems.”

Shockwave regarded him for another few moments before he saw Starscream’s knees wobble, and he began to fall.  Shockwave deactivated the alarms and weaponry with a flick of his wrist and surged forward to catch him. He put Starscream’s arm over his shoulder and helped him down from the platform.

“Are you injured?”

Starscream swallowed.  “I’m not sure exactly.  I was arguing with Thundercracker and Skywarp and something… changed.  I don’t feel right.”

Starscream’s plating was hot to the touch.  He gently guided Starscream down from the platform and started to walk him down through the console room to his lab.  “What were you arguing about?” 

Starscream grimaced, which Shockwave couldn’t tell was from physical pain or emotional turmoil.  “They wanted to send me here, alone, and I didn’t want to go.”

Many things fell into place then.  Thundercracker and Skywarp had managed to reunite with Starscream again but had determined that things were not safe for him on Earth anymore and had sent him to Shockwave’s care.  He considered this and the possible repercussions of this news, guiding the weak seeker along the corridor.

They reached the lab, and he set Starscream down on a chair before pulling out more diodes and scanning equipment.  He noticed Starscream was just looking at the ground with dull optics, and he tried to think of a safe topic of conversation that might distract him from his mood.

“Have you fueled lately?  Perhaps I could get you some while the scanners get to work.”

Starscream’s jaw clenched.  “Thank you, Shockwave, but I do not require fueling.”

Hmm.  Shockwave went back to setting up the scanners to look for coding changes and handed some of the connections from the computer to Starscream for a hardline connection.  Starscream accepted the wires but looked confused about why they were being handed to him, as he clearly didn’t know what to do with them.

Shockwave pointed to the medical ports on his arm, and Starscream still looked helpless.

Shockwave stepped forward and reached out his servo to run it along Starscream’s arm, looking for the medical release.  He found it, pressed it, and his plating pulled back, revealing some ports.  Starscream examined them in wonder, apparently not realizing they were there.

It was almost amusing to see Starscream’s sparkling-like wonder of everything new.

“You can plug these into any of the ports,” Shockwave said.  “This will start a medical scan and compare your coding to the last scan I did of you.”

Starscream examined the wire again and then plugged it into his port, shivering a little at the sensation.  “That feels weird.  Tingly.”

Shockwave nodded.  “Usually, there is a delay for the information transfer until your firewalls can be brought down, but… well, you don’t have any.”

Starscream nodded as if this were normal and not distressing.  A mech’s firewalls were the first defense against hacking and reformatting from external sources.  Shockwave could not imagine leaving the medbay without them in place, but Starscream didn’t recognize the problem with the vulnerability.  Starscream went back to looking at the medical ports with curiosity.

Shockwave turned his attention to the scans, looking over the initial data.  Nothing seemed different so far; the pacification program was nearly identical to what it was before.  “Does Megatron know you are here?” he tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible.

Starscream met his gaze.  “No.  Skywarp and Thundercracker fixed the situation so that only they and Ramjet know.  The Decepticons think I am with the Autobots, the Autobots think I am with Skyfire, and Skyfire thinks I am with the Decepticons,” he quoted.  He seemed upset, maybe.

Was it upset? Or was it more like irritated?  Shockwave knew the nuance was important

Regardless.  Starscream was not happy.  Even Shockwave could see that.

The scanners beeped that they had found a coding change.  Shockwave looked closer at it, expanding it open on the console to look deeper into how it interacted with the rest of Starscream’s code.  It was small, but it was interesting; it appeared that Starscream had damaged some property under the Autobot’s care.  Even this change, though, shouldn’t have triggered such a weakening reaction-   but then there was another beep.  Two minor changes were interesting, but they did not really explain-

Then a huge cascade of beeping erupted from the console.  Starscream’s code was completely red as the scanner moved through it, and it actually looked like the code was still changing.  It was morphing before his very optic and was completely unstable, finding new variables and constants and writing itself based on some kind of hidden ruleset that Shockwave could not figure out.  Shockwave slowly looked up from the console to Starscream, and his optic softened.

“This is going to require more testing,” he said, transferring the code to a datapad.  “There are far too many additional coding changes for me to understand the underlying issue of your discomfort,” Shockwave said, walking over and kneeling down before Starscream to show him the datapad.  Starscream took the datapad with slightly shaking servos and looked at it as Shockwave pointed to aspects of the code.  “Here and here.  The changes are highlighted here in red.  Can you see the difference?”

Starscream’s wide, terrified optics met his for a moment, and he nodded.  “This is the door thing,” he said quietly.

“Yes, it appears you can no longer use access panels to open doors, as the program has determined you cannot be trusted to use them.  There are other changes.  There are more prominent entries for ‘master’ and ‘master’s associate,’ which are currently blank and fulfilled by any mech you encounter- what, are you alright?”

Starscream’s expression had blanched, staring back at Shockwave with wide optics.  “Master?” he asked quietly.  “What do you-”

His voice out as he exvented harshly, and he reached up to hold his helm in his servos. “Shockwave, can you help with the pain? I can’t think straight,” Starscream replied, wincing. 

Shockwave took back the datapad and typed away at it with one servo.  “Apologies, I did not realize you were hurting.  I’m going to attempt to stabilize your code from changing so quickly, and then… I will have to look for pain patches.  I’m not sure I have them.”

Starscream looked disappointed, or upset, or distressed; Shockwave wasn’t sure.  Still, he nodded, trying to steel himself for the next steps.  Shockwave thought he was trying to put on a brave face, and he really didn’t need to.  Shockwave would think no less of him.

Shockwave typed away and managed to find the mechanism propelling the code to evolve, and he was able to isolate it.  He would like to have taken time to work on this in a staging environment rather than working on Starscream’s live code, but Shockwave did not want Starscream to suffer needlessly.

Which was… new.  He’d have to evaluate that later.

He isolated the mechanism, and Starscream slumped in his chair, looking worn out.  He closed his optics in relief.  “That helped,” Starscream said sleepily.

“Unfortunately, it is only a short-term stopgap. There will be too many errors created if I leave it in this frozen state for too long, but I will work on it as quickly as possible.”

Starscream nodded, his helm falling forward before he caught it.  He looked like he was going to fall into recharge in the chair.

“Do you require recharge?” Shockwave asked, putting the datapad on the table nearby.  Starscream didn’t answer verbally, just nodded weakly.  He reached forward, wrapping his arms around Shockwave’s neck, leaning on him heavily.

Shockwave froze at the familiarity and held him back in reflex.  Did Starscream misidentify Shockwave as a trinemate?  He was clearly asking to be assisted, and- oh- he was leaning against him and was- he asking to be held?  Shockwave leaned back, and Starscream moved into his arms, resting his weight in Shockwave’s hold.  His fans were slowing, and his wings were slicking down his back.

Shockwave stared down at him for a moment, his processor stalling.  He trusted Shockwave implicitly.  Shockwave had forgotten what that was like.

He carried Starscream down the corridor to a guest room for when officers from the Earth campaign came to visit.  Starscream was already asleep in his arms and barely stirred when Shockwave gently put him down in the berth.

Shockwave returned to the laboratory, bringing up a monitor with a security camera to keep his optic on his enigmatic patient as he began to delve deeper into the code.  He was recharging heavily on the berth, curled up into a ball on his side, blissfully unaware that his coding was only barely contained by the temporary measure Shockwave had installed.  Once it was released, it would careen out of control to some kind of next-level state; but what or when that was, he didn’t know.

He brought up the communications console and sent a message.

“Acid Storm.”

“General Shockwave,” came the voice from the green seeker on the screen.  “How can I assist you, sir?”

“I require a resupply of pain blockers for my medical kits here at the central base.  Please send the resupply via drone.”

Acid Storm nodded and typed away at his console, presumably checking the inventory of the Left Wing base at Darkmount.  His mouth turned into a frown.  “Sir, I apologize, but it appears we are also out of pain blockers, patches, or mild analgesics.  I believe the Broken Wing still has some, however.”

“You mean the Right Wing, commander?”

Acid Storm realized his mistake.  Shockwave didn’t entertain the unofficial colloquial names the seekers liked to call themselves. Acid Storm nodded.  “Yes, sir, apologies.  Commander Tachyon can assist you.”

Shockwave nodded.  “Shockwave out.”

Shockwave kept going over the code while attempting to call the Right Wing base.  There were so many strange things about this code; it referenced variables that didn’t exist or had no documentation.  Its tangled logic was often recursive and incomplete, and the notes commented out were cryptic at best.  Shockwave wasn’t even sure this was a complete instance of the pacification from the old days before the war; he had learned that the Autobots had compiled this code together from the depths of Teletraan’s fragmented knowledge.  It might be missing important pieces of itself that would make it more stable.  Or, maybe it required an external program as well to control it?

His call never connected to the Right Wing.  He frowned and sent a short-wave ping to them and received an automated response back informing him that the Right Wing’s communication relay was down.  If he wanted to get the pain blockers quickly, he would have to go there himself. 

But he couldn’t leave Starscream alone.  They would have to go together.

He wondered how much the Right Wing base knew about Starscream’s condition.  They were nicknamed the Broken Wing for a reason; they had mostly incomplete trines, mechs of various cognitive functionality, and dubious effectiveness in the army at large.  It was likely they hadn’t received any news about Starscream for some time.  If he and Starscream were to visit, it was also likely that no word would get back to Megatron, keeping Starscream’s whereabouts still secret.

This base might have other supplies that he would need for Starscream.  Shockwave led a very minimalistic lifestyle, but he remembered Starscream enjoying some material comforts.  He wasn’t sure how long he would have Starscream staying with him, but it was likely going to be a long time.

His plan set, he went back to pouring over the code and exploring its mysteries.

Notes:

Commander Tachyon belongs to Tackytacs.

The "Broken Wing" concept kind of comes from the Koipedia world building concept, but also from a group of friends and I having a crazy seeker base AU where every OC has something *wrong* with them lmfao. This is a shout-out to them, but also just some fun before we reach the final arc.

We'll be seeing some interesting headcanons in the next chapter, and I think you'll like it.

LOL FINALLY EARNING MY SHOCKSTAR TAG *facepalm* I think you'll see why I did it this way soon.

Chapter 31: Preferential Treatment

Starscream woke to Shockwave gently shaking him awake.

“I apologize for disturbing your recharge,” he said.  “But my temporary fix on your code is starting to break.”

Starscream could feel it.  His helm felt like it was being slammed up against a dam as water rushed all around him.  He winced and closed his optics.  “What do we do?”

He heard Shockwave shift, and when he cracked open an optic, he could see that he was kneeling on the ground beside his berth, looking at him at optic level.  “I have a solution, but I feel that you have to be fully informed as to what it means.”

Starscream would take anything at this point if it got rid of this debilitating weakness he felt.  He nodded to Shockwave, bracing himself for what was probably bad news.

It always was.    

“As far as I can tell, the coding was not designed to be isolated like this.  My analysis revealed it is unstable because some important parameters were never established.  Namely, the parameter of ‘master’ is undefined.  In lieu of having a master, it treats everyone as a master, and to stabilize it, we need to define this parameter to a single mech.”

“And I’m guessing it can’t be me.”

“No.  You cannot be your own master,” Shockwave said.  “I tried that first, but the code would not accept it.”

Starscream frowned.  “What does my life look like after we establish my ‘master?’”

Shockwave sighed.  “This individual would have control over your coding, and this person would have direct access to it and manipulate it.  You would be bound to their commands, and you would want to do them.  It will be similar to how you are now, except focused on one person.”

That really annoying numbness was creeping back over his plating as he thought about how unfair this was.  It wasn’t really worth exploring as a thought process because there wasn’t a choice.  “And I suppose this is a permanent function?”

“We should treat it as such.  I don’t see any way to immediately transfer the designation.”

Starscream gritted his denta and bowed his helm, trying not to show his despair.  So much of his tiny existence had been about not controlling himself and his own actions.  His lack of agency had defined him from the moment he had woken and looked at Hook for guidance and even his own name.  And now?  He had to submit himself to another mech completely?

Starscream shivered.  “So, this was designed as slave coding?”

Shockwave’s optic dimmed.  “There have been many applications of the pacification program, and it does appear the strain that survived in Teletraan’s database was one that had some servitude applications.”

Starscream was nodded bitterly.  Of course, it was. 

“However, there may be a way around it,” Shockwave continued gently.  “The ‘master’ could give you a layer of coding that would allow you to operate as your own mech.  You would still be unable to do certain things, like perform violence, but some of the more incapacitating elements of the program could be mitigated.  You could be able to speak your mind if your master wished it. You could damage property by accident, though you may still not want to.”

There was a small kernel of hope there, then.  Feeling bold and maybe a little cheeky, he smirked up at Shockwave.

“Well.  Applying for the job?”

Shockwave’s optic betrayed his surprise.  “Wouldn’t you rather it be your trine?”

Starscream thought about it and wondered why they hadn’t been the first names in his mind.  “They would do their best, I think.  I love them very much, but… no. It can’t be them.  I’m not sure they could resist the ability to protect me by controlling me.”

Starscream leaned back against the head of the berth, going through his other associates.  “Skyfire might also be a good choice, but I’m not sure I could do this to him.  He already carries other heavy burdens.” Starscream closed his optics again and thought through the other mechs he knew.  “There are some halfway decent Decepticons and Autobots who might give it their best shot, but no, I couldn’t give this to anyone else.”

Shockwave was still staring at him with his single optic wide.  Starscream tilted his helm.  “You are a logical candidate, Shockwave.”

Shockwave looked down at the berth.  “Starscream.  I feel compelled to tell you that I am one of the last mechs your former self would have trusted with this duty.  It is likely you only trusted Megatron less.”

Starscream was even more sure of his choice now.  “You won’t let me down, will you Shockwave?” he said with a half-smirk.  “Besides.  I’m not that mech anymore.”

Shockwave exvented.  “You are correct.  You are a different mech.”  Starscream was almost amused to see how flummoxed Shockwave appeared to be.  “But… there are things that you don’t know about me, about my coding, about my tendencies, about my function in the Decepticon army that if you knew, you might change your mind.”

Starscream nodded.  “Shockwave.  There is no one else I trust more than you.”

There was another frozen moment where Shockwave just stared.  “You hardly know me, Starscream.”

“Maybe I don’t know you with four million years of history, but I think I know you pretty well, Shockwave.”  Starscream was being a little obstinate, and he knew it.  But he also was very sure of his choice.

Shockwave stood slowly and then held out his servo for Starscream to take.  “If this is what you desire, then I will put myself in the role. Can you walk back to my lab?”   

Starscream took the servo, pulling himself up and out of the berth.  

 

---

 

The procedure was relatively simple.  Once they were back in the lab, Starscream was plugged back into the scanners, and Shockwave could put his name and ID in the blank space. Then Starscream fell offline into a reboot.

When he came to, he blinked carefully.  “Okay… yes.  Things are certainly different.”

Shockwave was eager to test the limits of the programming.  The applications of this could be extremely beneficial to an army that sometimes had issues with loyalty -

He stopped himself, looking into Starscream’s optics.  Perhaps… that testing could be done at a later time.

“Some of this will have to be trial and error.  The pacification program is capricious at best, so I’m hoping my initial commands will interact well.”

He sent them over by direct feed.  Starscream accepted them and read them over, smiling as they integrated into his systems.  “You are quite clever, Shockwave.”

“I suppose I should be flattered with that coming from you.”

The commands established Starscream as an associate of Shockwave’s, not a servant.  Starscream was free to exercise autonomy over his frame and environment, whether in Shockwave’s presence or not.  Certain words would precede an actual command; that way, the programming wouldn’t activate accidentally like it had with Thundercracker.  And on that note, all previous edits to the code were erased.  Starscream was free to open doors in accordance with his master’s wishes.

But one command would likely give Starscream pause, and Shockwave knew when he had reached it.  The programming would be coming up to soothe him, tell him his master knew best, it was right and correct.  He didn’t need to be anxious.

“You are upset.”

Starscream swallowed.  “I… trust you.  But I am… curious,” he said carefully.  “Why do you have a command allowing the copying of the pacification program?”

“I may need to make a backup in case a cascade failure happens.”

Starscream was still slightly anxious, but it was lessening.  He wasn’t sure if he were convinced or if it was the programming lulling him into security.

Starscream then started to grit his denta and reached up to hold his helm.  He exvented harshly.  “It feels like my processor is crawling with insecticons.”

Shockwave nodded.  “We might have introduced too many commands at once.  I anticipate you might have some aches for a little while as the program integrates again with everything.  Unfortunately, I do not have any pain relief here in my command center.  We will need to visit another base to gather what you may need.”

Starscream perked up at that idea.

“My only concern,” Starscream said, still holding his helm, “is that these mechs will see me and know where I am.  And that information would get back to Megatron.”

Shockwave nodded.  “They would never contact Megatron directly.  This base is for the aberrant seekers of the army, and any communication to and from Cybertron goes through me.”

Starscream blinked in confusion.  “Aberrant?”

Shockwave offered his servo to Starscream to lead him to their transportation.  “Yes.  You will understand when you meet them.”

Starscream took his servo without hesitation, and though he wobbled a little, they were able to make their way down the corridor to the non-sentient vehicle bay.

“This reminds me of the time you assisted me in taking back Cybertron from the Combaticons,” he started in an attempt at a conversation.  “Both of us working together to achieve a common goal.”

Starscream looked at him in confusion.  “I doubt I was that accommodating.”

“Well, you did try to prevent me from stopping the earth from colliding into its sun by shooting me," Shockwave said fondly.

Starscream looked disturbed.  “Why did I do that?”

“Presumably to kill Megatron.  Though, you were excited that the Autobots would also perish.”

Starscream blinked a few times and then went back to staring ahead.  He was clearly trying to think through the logic of his former self, but Shockwave wanted to save him the trouble. “You had very complicated thought processes that I often enjoyed trying to unravel as a kind of puzzle game, but ultimately the logic progression escaped me.”

Starscream smiled a little as they reached the hovercraft they would take to the Right Wing, and Shockwave assisted him in getting into the craft.  Starscream settled into the seat, trying to lay back to get comfortable, and they started to move.

 

---

 

Starscream watched as the landscape went by, finally seeing Cybertron in all of her ruined glory. He understood now why Sunstreaker had been slightly rude to him when he had been in such awe of what Cybertron used to look like in his paintings.

The reality was depressing.

Some parts of it were intact, but much of what he saw was destroyed.  War tore the planet apart at the seams, and now most of the inhabitants were behind walls or in hiding.

Shockwave was quiet beside him on the ride over.  Starscream thought he might be contemplative, but you could never tell with him.

The new commands were settling in, and he could feel different than he had before.  More free, in a way, to think and do things naturally.  Starscream thought he could insult someone now, which was great because he’d really love to send a few communications to Optimus and Jazz if he got the chance.  Maybe Mirage if he thought he would listen.

He glanced at Shockwave out of his optic corner, still wondering about that extra command about copying the programming.  It had been a little surprising to have that command slip in there without Shockwave telling him about it first.  But it did make sense for him to have a copy if Starscream was accidentally corrupted.

“It is unlikely that the seekers at this base have knowledge of your programming change and memory loss,” Shockwave said.  “It is up to you if you want to inform them or try and maintain that you are the same as always.”

Starscream smiled softly to himself as he stared at the broken landscape.  Shockwave always found a way to give him choices.  It was endearing.

“How would you suggest I act if I want to keep my condition a secret?”

Shockwave briefly turned his helm to look at him.  Starscream had a small smirk on his face.

“Hmm.  Perhaps if you scoff and sneer a few times if they ask you questions, it will achieve the desired effect.”

Starscream arched an optic ridge and then couldn’t help himself and chuckled lightly.  “Really? That’s your estimation of my former personality?”

Shockwave shrugged.  “It wouldn’t be out of character.”

Starscream actually laughed now, despite the dull ache in his helm.  His laugh died down, and he folded his arms across his chest.  He didn't really want to ask the next question, but for some reason, he suddenly needed to know.  “If you could have him back, would you take the opportunity? Scoff and sneers and all?”

Shockwave his helm to look at Starscream again.  Starscream observed that Shockwave couldn’t always figure out his tone and had to look at his face for additional clues.  Starscream found himself being overly expressive to help Shockwave understand him.

And right now, he was concerned about how Shockwave would answer.

Shockwave turned the vehicle down a path that looked regularly cleared and repaired.  They must be nearing the base.

“I would only bring him back if I could keep you too.”

Starscream blinked, finding himself bewildered into silence at that reply.

They reached the large doors of the base's front gate that opened for their vehicle automatically.  Inside, some seekers straightened nervously when they saw them and waited for them to come to a stop in the courtyard.

“C-commanders,” a short, orange seeker greeted.  “We apologize; we were not expecting you.”

“Yes.  It appears your communications are down. Otherwise, this surprise inspection would not have been a surprise.”

The seeker swallowed nervously.  Behind his white visor, Starscream could see him looking curiously at Starscream and then returning to Shockwave.  “I’ve sent a message to Commander Tachyon, and she should be here shortly, sirs.” 

“She can meet us on the way to the medbay.  We’ll start there,” Shockwave replied.

Shockwave exited the vehicle, and Starscream did his best to do the same in his own power.  It wasn’t hard to hold his face in the approximation of what he thought his former self would look like; aloof, maybe, and irritated.  His helm still ached, and he still felt weak despite having slept a lot of the day away.

He could feel Shockwave watching him but only thinking of stepping in if he asked for help.  For some reason, that mattered, and it warmed his spark.

Shockwave led the way, and the short seeker hurried his pace to try and keep up.  Starscream looked around and noticed the base was clean, if not a little run-down. 

“This is the first time you’ve been here, isn’t it?” Shockwave asked him, his optic dancing in amusement.

“Yes, I don’t believe I’ve had the… pleasure,” he said with a frown. 

The orange seeker laughed nervously.  “No, commander, I don’t think you ever needed to visit here!  You might not remember me, but uh, my trinemates and I served with you on Earth briefly before you sent us back.  And just to say, sir, what an honor it was-”

“Why did I send you back again?” Starscream interrupted, squinting.

The orange seeker opened and closed his mouth.  “If you don’t remember, it probably doesn’t matter! Ah, Commander Tachyon, thank goodness.”

A green seeker with a red visor and a facemask appeared before them.  “Thank you, Prolix. Commanders, how can we assist you today?”  She fell into stride beside them, and Starscream thought she was doing an excellent job of not appearing nervous.  Every other seeker they happened to see went wide-opticked as soon as they saw them. 

He wondered who had the worse reputation: Shockwave or himself.

“Ah, Wing Commander Tachyon.  I require some of your pain medication for an experiment I am running.  Acid Storm told me you might have a supply,” Shockwave said.

Tachyon’s wings twitched.  “We do, sir.  Though not all of it is strictly military-issued.”

Shockwave stopped walking and turned to her, his yellow optic narrowing.  “Really.”

She didn’t flinch.  “Yes, sir.  It is still effective, though, and should still fit your needs… I presume.  But it is not standard because we haven’t received a resupply in months.”

Shockwave stared at her for another moment and then nodded.  “Well, then, I’m particularly interested in what you have.  And where you are getting it.”

Tachyon’s gaze imperceptibly shifted to Prolix, who went incredibly still.  Shockwave was about to turn to follow her gaze when Starscream decided to step in.  “What does it matter, Shockwave?  Let’s get what we need and leave.”

Shockwave’s optic dimmed in slight amusement.  Apparently, Starscream had hit the right haughty tone with his wording

“Very well,” Shockwave said.  “Lead on, Commander Tachyon.”

Tachyon nodded curtly and began walking again.

This was somewhat amusing to be pretending he was his old self with Shockwave.  It wasn’t like before when he was with the Combaticons and struggling for context clues in a dire situation.  He was being treated with wary caution instead of… pitied.

He decided he kind of liked this base.

Starscream commed Shockwave.  :You are awfully harsh on these mechs.:

:Harsh? I am straight to the point.  They like that in a commander.:

Starscream glanced over at Prolix, who was walking beside them, his wings high and nervous on his back.  Tachyon similarly walked stiffly, though she hid it better than the others.

:Somehow, I don’t think you are coming off how you think you are,: Starscream said loftily.  :And I have yet to understand how these mechs are… aberrant.:

Another seeker crossed them with black plating and a yellow stripe.  “Commander Tachyon.  This is an outrage,” he hissed. 

“Wingsmoke,” Tachyon said tiredly.  “I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“No, but Commander, I didn’t get my ration of energon- and I am hungry!”

Shockwave tilted his helm.  “What is that in your servo then, soldier?”

Wingsmoke looked down at his servo holding a cube of energon and then looked up at Shockwave with an incredulous expression.  “This is my sparktwin’s ration.  Obviously.”

“Someone must have reset the dispenser,” Prolix offered.  “A simple mistake, Wingsmoke.”

“No, no, this is blatant prejudice, and I demand to be taken seriously-”

“Alright, Wingsmoke.  I’ll take you to get your ration,” Tachyon said.  “Apologies, Commanders, I will join you shortly.”  She grabbed Wingsmoke’s arm and dragged him along, presumably to get him another ration.

“I didn’t think seekers usually had sparktwins,” Shockwave stated.

Prolix was wiping a servo across his face.  “He doesn’t have a sparktwin, sir.  He just thinks he does.”

They continued walking down the corridor with Prolix leading the way.  Shockwave made a humming noise.  “Isn’t that just a way for him to get extra rations?”

Prolix looked back over his shoulder.  “He’s not consuming them, sir.  We usually go and collect his extra rations at the end of the week and return them to the supply.”

Starscream blinked and then smiled softly.  These mechs were oddly accommodating of each other.

“Commander Starscream!” called a voice from down the hallway.  A pink seeker strutted down the hallway, smirking and approaching them.

“And Commander Shockwave!” growled Prolix through his clenched denta.

The pink seeker slowed his tracks, suddenly noticing Shockwave, and his smirk fell.  “Uh, right.  Uhm.  Been a while… commander,” the seeker said, walking around Shockwave and giving him a wide berth before sidling up next to Starscream.  “What do you think of my crown?”

Starscream realized they must have known each other based on how close the mech was standing.  His optics glanced up to the top of the mech’s helm and noticed a golden crown sitting there with bright fuchsia gems glittering in the light.

“I found it, and I thought, you know who might be jealous of this crown? Why the good old air commander, and then you just happen to show up today!” The mech’s optics were shining brightly.

“It is very… nice,” Starscream said slowly.  The mech furrowed his brow and pulled back, and Starscream realized he was being too complimentary.  He thought hard and decided to add, “Very… gaudy.”

Prolix snorted, and the new mech shot him a pout.  “Comet,” Prolix said.  “Why don’t you help me escort the commander to the medbay?”

“I’d be delighted, Prolix,” Comet said with a smirk and fell in step with the rest of them.

These seekers were weird, Starscream thought, but they were oddly endearing. This base was so much more casual than the Decepticon base back on Earth.

They arrived at the medbay a short time later.  “Honeycogs!” Comet called.  “You have some surprise guests!”

“Scrap!” they heard from deep within a treatment room.  The medbay was littered with small beds and what looked like toys for small mechanimals.  Starscream thought he saw something furry dash under a berth and was shocked into silence.  “Uhm, just a minute!” the anxious voice called.

“What do you want-…. Comet,” said a gruff-looking bright green seeker.  He appeared from another room, stood up straighter, and saluted upon seeing Shockwave and Starscream.

“Surprise!” Comet said with a smile.  “Look who it is, Zeewing.”

The green seeker glowered.  “A heads up would have been great-”

Shockwave sighed.  “We require pain medication. Patches, analgesics, anything you have.”

The mech came forward and regarded Starscream carefully before going to a cabinet and pulling items out.  More loud banging noises came from the back room with more colorful curses.  Whatever Honeycogs was doing back there, it could not have been regulation.

This place was an absolute circus, and Starscream loved every moment of it.  There was so much chaos around them with the mix of personalities and randomness.  No wonder Shockwave was reluctant to come here.

:You’re smiling.: Shockwave observed, perhaps trying to warn him.

:Apologies.  I’m genuinely delighted by this base.:

Shockwave narrowed his optic in confusion but said nothing else.

“Alright, we have some guests-” a smaller light pink seeker said, coming out while wiping her servos on a rag.  “Rust sticks,” she said with an open mouth when she saw everyone gathered in the medbay.

“You don’t often visit, do you Shockwave?” Starscream teased, folding his arms across his cockpit.  “I can’t imagine why.”

Shockwave turned to the green seeker at the cabinet again.  “The pain relievers.  Now.”

Zeewing gathered up a bundle of items and put them into a bag.  He seemed reluctant to give them.  “They aren’t strictly… military-grade, sir, but the directions are on the packages.”

Shockwave took the bag and looked at the label, and froze.  There was a long pregnant pause in the room as the mechs all waited.

“This says this medication is for a turbohound.”

“Yes, but it is synthesized off of the same compounds as the formula for mechs.  You just need to double… the… dosage,” Honeycogs said, her voice growing quieter and quieter as she bore the full weight of Shockwave’s glare.

“Then I require all of it, soldier,” Shockwave said, holding out his servo.

Zeewing's optics hardened, and then he turned to continue to fill the bag.  Starscream realized that Shockwave would completely empty them out, leaving them with nothing for themselves.  And it seemed this base did not often get resupplied.

“That’s… not necessary, Shockwave,” Starscream said.  “We just need a few for our purposes.”  He received some odd looks for that statement.  He tried to stare back in what he thought was an imperious look, but a painful throb hit through his helm, and he had to stifle a wince.

Shockwave regarded him for a long moment.  “Very well,” he said, taking the bag from Zeewing.  “We will be leaving now.”

The assembled mechs were a little shocked at the abruptness of Shockwave ending the surprise inspection and quietly looked down at the ground, perhaps feeling they had failed in some way. 

Commander Tachyon appeared in the doorway.  “I will escort you out then,” she said with a sigh.

Starscream followed her out, becoming contemplative.  “Commander, how often are you resupplied?”

Tachyon furtively looked at Shockwave and then trained her gaze back on Starscream.  “It isn’t regularly.”

Starscream frowned again.  “Why is that, Shockwave?”

Shockwave clearly didn’t understand what Starscream was really asking.  “Supplies are given out to the various bases by priority and contribution to the war effort.  Many of the soldiers here are not fit for active combat.  Prolix, for example, is a terrible shot.  Honeycogs was previously a veterinarian for mechanimal pets.  And Tachyon here is part of a broken trine.”

Tachyon’s back straightened, and her optics flared briefly behind her visor.  Starscream saw it, even if Shockwave didn’t.

“I see,” Starscream replied quietly.

"Rather than spread them out across the other bases, I concentrated all of the mechs that don’t contribute in one place.  That way, the other bases are more effective.”

Starscream thought he detected a little bit of shame in Tachyon’s wings, but she also seemed to be someone who was holding down a base of misfits with little to no help from higher command.  She had probably figured out some way to make it work for them.

But he wasn’t surprised to hear what Shockwave was saying.  It was interesting to see it in practice- that if he weren’t Starscream, former Decepticon Air Commander and second-in-command of the army with more than enough personality and history, he probably would have been sent here with the rest of these seekers.  He had figured out that Decepticons weren’t known for their charity, but his tanks turned a little to see himself getting preferential treatment.

Another group of seekers arrived in the hallway, and two of them stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Shockwave, and they actually bowed.

“Commander,” they said in unison. 

“Ah. Yes, excuse me, Starscream,” he said, walking over to them.  They talked in low tones, and Starscream couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

Starscream turned and leaned closer to Tachyon.  “I’ll see if I can get you more regular shipments from him.  What do you need the most?”

Tachyon looked at him incredulously.  “Apologies, commander, but I don’t need anything from you.  No favors, no special treatment, no… quid pro quo.”

Starscream felt like he had been slapped, but he supposed it was deserved.  “I’m not asking for anything in return,” he replied.  He thought about it for a moment and then affected a small smirk.  “It would delight me to make sure this base got some supplies instead of… Acid Storm’s if you catch my drift.”

Tachyon’s hard optics glittered in amusement.  “On that, sir, we are agreed.  We need metals right now to synthesize spare parts.  A lot of us are running around with a few loose components.”

“I will see what I can do.”

She watched him out of the corner of her optic.  “Are you going to be on Cybertron long, sir?  I thought you were banned from coming to Cybertron without Megatron present after the Bruticus incident.”

Starscream thought about it, tapping his chin, and then winked.  “I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

Tachyon exvented exasperatedly and held her servos up.  “Whatever you say, Air Commander.”

Starscream actually found himself chuckling when Shockwave rejoined them, and they walked off back to their vehicle.

Notes:

EEE sorry about the long wait.

Couple of things- I had quite a few cameos here and I hope you just thought they were fun, they aren't *really* going to be seen again, and it was really to illustrate a point. Why *is* Shockwave helping Starscream? Stay tuned... lol

TackyTacs owns Commander Tachyon (and maybe Wingsmoke? Lol he's kind of public domain I guess)
Zatnik owns Zeewing
Star-Filled-Ink owns Honeycogs
Badskeletonpuns owns Comet
Two random seekers lol well I ran out of cameo space, but Echo/Kayda, you all know who they are
I own Prolix

Used with permission and I started talking about doing this MONTHS ago lmfao

Also. Sorry for taking so long, I bring you presents. FAN ART FROM MY BUDDY:

art for chapter 28 of @BairdCrevan's #Transformers fanfic "Pacification". really liked an interaction these two had :] pic.twitter.com/i6fo5qqA1w

— Finn/Salem (@apatheticrobots) September 2, 2021

AND MORE ART BY NEVGIG

Chapter 32: I Have You Now

Starscream had slowed down a little by the time they had finished at the Right Wing base. Shockwave could see his wings were starting to droop, and his expression became tight, likely from a wave of pain. They needed to get him back as soon as possible.

Luckily, the seekers of the Right Wing were moving quickly to see them out. Shockwave wasn't surprised. They probably had the most autonomy in the whole army because no one expected anything from them, but Shockwave and Starscream's presence had likely given them an anxiety attack.

Tachyon stood at attention with a tight farewell with her arms folded behind her back and nodded as Shockwave started to drive away.

As soon as they were out of sight of the base, Shockwave pulled out one of the pain patches and handed it to Starscream. "Apply this to the back of your neck. It should help."

Starscream accepted the patch and murmured a thank you as they kept going back to the main base. Shockwave found himself wanting to glance at Starscream and attempt to divine what he was thinking, but he kept his optic trained on the road in front of them.

Shockwave needed to focus on his job of protecting Cybertron, not just this seeker who had been dumped into his lap.

Starscream was uncharacteristically quiet as they drove through the ruins of Cybertron.

"How is your pain?" Shockwave asked.

"Abating. Thank you, Shockwave."

Shockwave was again dissatisfied, and he did not understand why Starscream's short and curt answer unsettled him. He kept trying to come up with reasons as to why Starscream might be so quiet. Had he been injured more severely than he thought? Was he upset about the nature of their new relationship? Was he angry with Shockwave for some reason? 

Again, he focused too much on Starscream and mentally scolded himself. His idle thoughts were betraying his true purpose, and he thought that maybe he should consider going into his own code for some kind of modification.

When they finally arrived back at his base, Shockwave parked the vehicle and began to get out of his seat.

“Shockwave,” Starscream said quietly. Shockwave paused, turning his helm to look at him. “Why are you helping me?”

Shockwave had not been prepared for this question. He found he couldn’t answer right away, which was, again, odd. Shockwave always had a reason for everything he did. It was usually the result of a logical set of arguments that led him to decide. The answer should be easily accessible.

Starscream continued. “Is it that you expect something in return from me? Because if you do, then-”

“No,” Shockwave said. “No, I do not expect anything in return, Starscream.” 

Starscream’s shoulders relaxed a little. “Well,” he replied. “It feels cynical to say this, but I’ve come to realize everyone has some ulterior motives when it comes to helping me.”

Shockwave looked down at the vehicle's chair, still searching for an answer.

"Because," Starscream said gently, "by your logic, I can't contribute anything meaningful to the army, and therefore I don't deserve any time wasted on me."

Shockwave then understood Starscream’s silence. He, too, was questioning why Shockwave was behaving irrationally towards him. Shockwave had demonstrated the way he ran Cybertron and his division of resources by showing Starscream the Right Wing at Darkmount, and now Starscream wondered why Shockwave had ever given him any extra attention at all.

Shockwave let the moment swell again in silence before finally finding what he wanted to say. “I don’t know why I am helping you. You are correct; it is not logical to expend resources, time, and effort when ultimately you are not a weapon or a force that can help the Decepticons and Megatron win the war."

Starscream continued to stare quietly. "I thought you might say something like that."

Shockwave turned away to stare down at his servo. "I have been examining my motives and found some inconsistencies in my logical pathways that make me wonder if I am malfunctioning.”  

Starscream looked on impassively. "Surely you have some theories.”

Shockwave’s optic dimmed a little. “I have not formulated them yet.”  He sighed and again looked down at the ground. “Is there something you want from me?”

There was another awkward pause of Starscream staring at him and then breaking into a small, private smile. “Right now, I think I would just like some additional pain patches. The last one is wearing off.”

Starscream swallowed and then exited the vehicle, walking toward Shockwave’s lab. His wings twitched slightly, and Shockwave again wondered what was going on through his helm.

 

---

 

Thundercracker may have underestimated how much Starscream had charmed the Decepticon army after his pacification.

Many soldiers had tried to talk to him when he had been in residence more from a sense of curiosity. Starscream was different now, and everyone wanted to know what that looked like. He didn’t have his memories, and rumors had swirled around that he was… nice. It was weird enough that no one believed it until they saw him.

Thundercracker didn’t like how Starscream had become a spectacle, especially since Starscream didn’t even seem bothered by it.

But now that Starscream was gone and it had started to dawn on the powers that be that he was missing, mechs were coming out of the walls to ask Thundercracker and Skywarp about him.

“You don’t seem worried,” Rumble said, staring up at him with a scrunched face.

“Hey, pipsqueak. Quit bothering the Air Commander!” Skywarp said, throwing a datapad at Rumble. Rumble was able to nimbly dodge it, as Skywarp hadn’t wanted to hit the cassette since doing so would earn the wrath of Soundwave.

“I’m just saying!” Rumble squawked. “You’d think you two would be concerned that no one has seen him.”

“Starscream chose to go with the Autobots,” Thundercracker said neutrally, still typing away at the console. “He’s where he wants to be.”

“That’s a load of phosphorescent slag,” Rumble replied, leaning forward on the tips of his pedes. “Everyone knows he went with the Autobots because you got hurt so badly.”

Thundercracker wrinkled his nose with displeasure. Skywarp noticed and stomped forward. “Does Soundwave know you’re down here?” he said, reaching for the runt.

Rumble ran to hide under the console. “Maybe!” he said, sticking out his glossa. “But… but guys. I’ve been in the Autobot base. Recently.  Star isn’t there.”

Thundercracker stopped typing, trying not to give Skywarp a side-glance. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, he ain’t there! Or he ain’t somewhere where I can find him. He could be deep in the brig or something.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Skywarp said dismissively. “There’d be no reason to. He’s too fragging nice.”

Rumble shrugged. “It’s either that or he ain’t there.”

Thundercracker furrowed his brow, looking down at Rumble. “Did Soundwave send you there to check on him?”

Rumble blanched and looked around, choosing not to answer.

Thundercracker gave a worried look to Skywarp, who mirrored the look back. “Alright, enough talk. Out.”

Rumble looked like he was going to stick his glossa back out, but Skywarp had warped around the console from the back and managed to grab Rumble by the pedes.

“Taking out the trash. Be right back,” Skywarp said with a wink.

He disappeared in a vwop, and Thundercracker frowned deeper.

When Skywarp returned, he looked around and then leaned in close behind Thundercracker’s back. “You’d think they would let us know if they were doing recon to check on Starscream.”

“I know,” Thundercracker said quietly. “They’re cutting us out. Why?”

Skywarp worried on his bottom lip. “Do they know something we don’t think they know?” Then Skywarp wrinkled his nose and covered his face with his servo. “I’m confusing myself.”

Thundercracker gave a slight smirk, turned around, and grabbed Skywarp about the waist, pulling him close. He nuzzled into his neck, breathing in the smell of him. “I think,” he said quietly, “we need to think more like the old Starscream. Predict the moves of our adversary instead of reacting to them.”

Skywarp wound his arms around Thundercracker’s shoulders, reaching a digit to trace the edge of a wing. “I miss him. Both of them, honestly.”

Thundercracker sighed. He pulled back slightly and pressed his lips to Skywarp’s in a chaste kiss. “I do too.”

Skywarp looked into his optics for another long moment and then nodded, leaning in to start kissing Thundercracker’s neck. Thundercracker was distracted by his thoughts and had to really concentrate to stifle his shiver.

Skywarp licked some of the cables and then let his denta gently graze them. He then smirked and kissed Thundercracker up the jaw before landing on his lips. “I’m kind of tired of thinking right now,” he murmured.

Thundercracker gave him a knowing look. He’d barely thought about their problem at all. “I suppose we could take a break-”

He’d barely finished his sentence before he had been transported away.

 

---

 

A few days passed, and Starscream was growing bored.

He was familiar with the sensation, unfortunately. He had been bored at the Decepticon base just about as often as he had been bored at the Autobot base. No one ever wanted to assign him duties, and he was not sure what he could work on or do without getting in the way.

He walked into Shockwave’s laboratory, finding him hunched over some datapads that were spread out before him.

Shockwave hadn’t noticed him yet, and Starscream took the opportunity to observe. Shockwave was large and shaped differently than many mechs he had met in his lifetime. With only a single optic and no visible facial emotions, he seemed older somehow compared to other mechs. It was like his design was ancient or even symbolic in some way. It made him unique, and Starscream found himself drawn to his otherness.

“Can I help you, Starscream?” came his smooth voice. Starscream smiled. It appeared he was more observant than Starscream thought.

“I was wondering if there was something I could assist you with?” Starscream asked, walking deeper into the lab. Shockwave turned his helm to track him, his single yellow optic keenly watching him. Starscream secretly delighted in the attention. “I find myself without a distraction.”

“You should be recovering,” Shockwave said, turning off his datapads. “There are a lot of datapads I gave you to review.”

Starscream huffed a small laugh. “Yes, and thank you for that. I just wanted something actually to do. I’m growing restless just laying around all day.”

Shockwave considered him for a moment, and Starscream wanted to shift his pedes under the scrutiny. Shockwave sometimes had this look about him that was hard to describe, and Starscream wished he had the experience to figure it out. The look was dangerous and enticing at the same time.

Starscream cocked his helm. “I wondered if you… had any ideas?”

Shockwave lifted his helm a little bit. Perhaps he had understood Starscream’s undertones, or maybe he had not. Starscream’s lips quirked in a smile regardless.

“It will be menial tasks for now if you are serious about being helpful. Otherwise, I would need to train you on lab equipment, and I’m afraid I’m behind on pressing deadlines for other projects.”

“I don’t mind,” Starscream said, smiling wider.

Shockwave watched him for a moment longer, and Starscream thought he detected something in the silence between them. Was it confusion? Longing? Watchfulness? Shockwave had warned him that he didn’t see the world the same as other mechs, and Starscream hadn’t been sure if that meant he was trying to warn him off or encourage him on. Shockwave was a puzzle, and Starscream enjoyed slowly examining the pieces until he understood the whole picture.

Shockwave then stood and indicated he should follow him through the base.

Starscream was impressed with the size of the base and how clean it was. It was even cleaner than the Autobot base had been, which was a few exponents cleaner than the Decepticons. He reflected that it kind of described Shockwave in his fastidiousness and attention to detail. It was something he could appreciate, though, given the state of his own room back at the base; Starscream realized it might not be a trait they shared.

“Did you work with me often before?” He had started to vaguely refer to his former life as just the time “before” and the “now.”  For some reason, it gave him some semblance of satisfaction to decide how to talk about it.

“We sometimes conferred. Not often.”

Starscream pursed his lips. “Not as often as you would have liked,” he guessed with a smirk.

Shockwave paused at the door and indicated that Starscream could go in first. “I suppose it is a good thing that I have you now.”

The phrase caught Starscream off guard, and he stared, his vents stalling. Did Shockwave… know how he sounded? Did he understand the implications- Starscream wet his lips and tilted his helm to the side. “Yes. Especially since I belong to you now.”

He attempted to hold Shockwave’s gaze, but almost as if the exchange hadn’t happened, Shockwave went through the door and into the room without another word.

Starscream had to shake his helm rapidly in disbelief. Was he- was he that bad at flirting? He was pretty sure- ugh.

He swallowed and stalked into the room behind Shockwave, trying not to let the irritation bleed into his field. In fact, he very much wanted to calm himself down. He was patient. He was watchful. He was observant.

He was nothing like the old Starscream.

When he finally got his bearings, he realized the room was full of energon cubes.

“This is one of the warehouses where I store energon for the restoration of Cybertron,” Shockwave said, turning on the lights via a datapad remote.

The room was much larger than Starscream had realized. And there was a lot more energon.

“When I say menial, I meant that I need you to take inventory. You will not enjoy this job.”

Starscream stared wide-eyed at all of the cubes and then slowly brought his gaze back to Shockwave. He shrugged, trying to hide his shock. “If you need it done, I’m happy to assist.”

Shockwave stared at him, his optic flicking over his frame. “Very well then,” he said, handing Starscream the datapad. “I am afraid that my official numbers are off. I need you to do an inventory of this warehouse to help me check to see how far off my count is to amend the tallies. This will help us understand how much we need to request from Megatron on Earth each month.”

Starscream nodded. “Understood. I’ll get started now.”

Even though he was handing it to Starscream, Shockwave didn’t let go of the datapad. “You… do not have to follow this order. You are free to refuse it.”

Starscream furrowed his brow. “I know that,” he said. “But if it is something you need, I’m happy to help.”

Shockwave let go of the datapad, still staring at Starscream for a few moments. “I am glad to hear it. I will check in with you occasionally.”

And with that, he left.

Starscream looked back at the rows and rows of cubes stacked incredibly high. Some were very organized, and some were loose around the warehouse. Most of the items were cubes, but some drums and other improvised containers held the precious liquid. 

“Fuck,” he said to the empty room.

Chapter 33: Accomplishment

Starscream got to work.

At first, he had been surprised at how fast things were going. He could line up all the cubes that were the same shape and then count them as one stack or super-cube, making things go quickly. He’d almost accounted for 30% of the volume, he figured, after about six hours of work.

Then came the random pieces. Starscream was annoyed how much his efforts slowed down.

He tried to measure and count effectively using standardized measurements, but he was having a lot of trouble. He didn’t want to guess too much, figuring that was part of the problem in the first place for Shockwave; he wanted to be as accurate as possible. But in all honesty, as much as the work was drudgery, it was something he could do. Part of him was happy that he was getting the job done without any assistance or supervision.

He felt accomplished.

After about ten hours of work, he noticed he had started to slow down. He had tired himself out to his extreme satisfaction and knew that he needed to stop for the day. He couldn't remember a time before now when he had been so pushed to his physical and mental limits. He figured it would take another week or so to count the rest of the stores fully, but he found himself smiling at the prospect.

He heard a noise at the far side of the room, behind some shelves.

Sometimes Shockwave’s drones got stuck in things, and he had to help them right themselves occasionally to get out of a corner or a tight spot. He figured it was that or a turborat; a creature that Skywarp had described to him, but he’d never actually seen. They were apparently large, terribly scary monsters capable of eating you alive… if Skywarp was to be believed. He was pretty sure he had been embellishing the truth.

When Starscream rounded the corner, he came face to face with two Autobots, staring back at him with wide optics. One was a light blue, and the other was an intimidating color of energon pink. They had several cubes of energon that they were loading on another Autobot right outside the warehouse through a hidden hole in the wall.

Starscream's optic twitched a little that they were stealing some cubes he had already counted.

“I don’t think those belong to you,” he said irritably, folding his arms.

The Autobots stared at him wordlessly before the pinkish one stood straight and tilted her helm at him. “I’m not sure they really belong to you either, Starscream.” She flicked her optics behind him, likely noticing he was alone. “Didn’t realize you were planet-side.”

Starscream swallowed, not liking how she looked at him now. It was calculating, scrutinizing, and suspicious. “I don’t make it a habit to inform Autobots of my position,” he replied casually. He sighed. “How many cubes did you take?”

The light blue one scoffed. “You really think we are going to answer that?”

Starscream shrugged. “I was hoping for a little politeness since I’ve been inventorying these all day.”

They both stared at him with open surprise, waiting for him to do… something. He wasn’t quite sure what, but they looked more confused the more time went on. “Aren’t you… going to stop us?” the pink one asked, slowly taking out her weapon from subspace.

Starscream put up his servos in a placating gesture. “Nope. Take what you want. I can’t and won’t stop you.”  He tried not to smirk at his play on words, but he was pretty sure he was smiling anyway. As he saw the weapon appear, he sent a ping to Shockwave with an image capture to hopefully express a sense of urgency. He still felt pretty confident he could talk them down from a confrontation, but just to be sure, he thought it to be prudent to contact Shockwave. 

The first one gave her companion a side-glance, and they both looked back to Starscream with more suspicion. “Where are your null-rays?” the blue one asked, pulling out her weapon as well.

Starscream took a nervous step back. “Listen, I’m telling you to take what you want. I’d like to know how much you took, but I can figure that out later if I have to.”

“Chromia. I think it’s poisoned,” the first one said.

Chromia wrinkled her nose. “That makes absolutely no sense, Elita.”  She glared at Starscream harshly. "Why would they have an entire warehouse of poisoned energon?"

“Then it’s a trap,” Elita replied, setting down the cubes she had gathered. “Put them down.”

Chromia sighed angrily and raised her weapon, aiming it at Starscream's chest. “What’s wrong with the energon?”

“Nothing!” Starscream replied. He then thought better of the statement. “To my knowledge, there is nothing wrong with the energon.”

“Ugh, I knew it,” Elita replied. “We’ll dump the rest on the way back.”

Chromia still seemed unconvinced. “Something is still not right.” She squinted her optics, looking at Starscream. “You seem… off. Odd.”

Starscream rolled his optics. “Know me so well, do you?”

Chromia bared her denta.  “I know you well enough.”

Elita was still quiet, observing him. “Well, it nets the same,” she replied simply. She threw her helm in the direction of the hole in the wall, and Chromia began to back up towards it slowly.

Starscream didn’t like the darting looks they were giving him, and his nervousness increased. “Look, like I said, take what you want and get out of here. Shockwave will be here soon, but you have time to escape.”

Elita gave him an incredulous look while Chromia just scowled. “I don’t know what you are up to,” Chromia said. “But we’re not sticking around to find out.”

That was just fine, as far as Starscream was concerned! The sooner they left, the better.

He was a little surprised at how calm he behaved and silently patted himself on the back. He had practically handled this tense situation all by himself with just his wits and maybe a little bit of bluffing, and despite the presence of weapons and a history that was bad between them, no one was hurt.

Elita gave him one last searching look and then turned. “Give him a parting gift at least.”

In a split second, Chromia fired her gun at some of the energon cubes. They exploded spectacularly, causing a small chain reaction to the rest of the cubes on the shelf. The scaffolding of the shelves swayed dangerously, showing signs of damage, but still held despite the small explosion.

Starscream had been so distracted by shielding his face from the blast that he didn’t immediately notice the two Autobots disappear through the wall. Or the small device they had left on the ground to guard their escape.

It looked like a bomb.

Starscream backed up nervously, his mind racing. It was probably on a timer to give the Autobots enough time to escape, but he had no way of knowing how long it would be until it went off. He couldn’t open it without "damaging" it, he knew, though he thought that might be less of an issue now after his coding change. He hadn't had time to test it yet to see what he could and could not do, but now didn't feel like the right time to play around. He also figured he wouldn’t know how to disarm a bomb anyway. He thought he probably used to know, but the knowledge was gone. 

 

He continued to back up, some fear gripping his tanks. If just some small blaster fire had blown up some cubes, then a bomb like that could explode the whole warehouse. He had to get out of there.

With a surprising lack of grace, he then tripped over some debris, falling back to the ground just as the shelves collapsed on top of him.

Starscream cried out as he was pinned. His arm and wing were stuck under a heavy support beam, quickly being crushed and crumpled under the weight. Though he struggled to get out, it would not budge.

He swallowed nervously, looking at the device on the ground again, realizing he was not going to be able to get away.

He couldn’t keep a slight whine out of his breathing- what a fragging way to go. It was all a misunderstanding caused by suspicion surrounding him and how he usually acted. He shivered in misery.

Thundercracker and Skywarp would be so sad when they found out. And Shockwave-

“Starscream?” he heard from the doorway.

“Shockwave?!” Starscream cried hopefully, relief flooding his voice. “Shockwave, there’s a bomb-”

Shockwave rushed in, quickly pulling the support beam off of him. Starscream winced in pain as the weight was removed, and then he rolled to his side to try and get up off of the ground.

Shockwave ran to the device, picked it up, and threw it outside the hole just as it exploded.

Most of the blast was concentrated outside the storage room, but there was enough concussive force to knock Shockwave back into the shelves and cubes, making them fall over. However, his efforts prevented the rest of the energon cubes from igniting and blowing them all to slag.

“That was some quick thinking!” Starscream called with a wide smile. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along when you did!"  He started to limp over to Shockwave, his frame still slightly dented from the support beam. 

"Are you alright?" he called, trying to navigate through the debris. There were energon cube shards everywhere and what looked like some pieces of metal shrapnel. He guessed that bomb had more of a kick to it than he had first realized.

He shuddered. Those Autobots were not to be trifled with, and if he never saw them again, it would be too soon.

He realized Shockwave hadn't answered him. Anxiety bloomed in his chest as he shuffled over to him faster.

Starscream noticed that Shockwave was bleeding. A lot. The debris around him was already soaked in his energon.

“Sh-Shockwave?” he said, rushing now. He knelt on the ground next to him and lifted his good arm and servo to try and ghost it over Shockwave’s plating to find the bleeding. He found a wound in Shockwave’s neck with a piece of shrapnel embedded there.

It was… gushing.

“Shockwave!” Starscream said mournfully. “Shockwave, tell me what to do!”

Shockwave cleared his vocalizer with a pained grunt. His optic was dimmed a little as he cast his gaze to Starscream and softened. “You would have to weld it to get it to stop.”

Starscream's spark clenched because he couldn’t weld. It would cause too much damage to a frame, even to save his “master.” He knew it, and… so did Shockwave.

Already Shockwave’s optic was dimming at an alarming rate. 

“What- what do I do?” Starscream asked quietly. “Shockwave, what- what do I do?”

Shockwave watched him for a few moments and sighed. His vocalizer hitched as he reached up to cup Starscream's cheek gently. Shockwave was hard to read without facial expressions, but his optic was full of softness and regret.

The gentle gesture and warm servo made Starscream stifle a hysterical sob. No. No, no, no-

“You hide," Shockwave replied quietly. "Until someone comes to help you. Don’t trust just any Decepticon; you should wait until your trine comes.”

Starscream’s mouth fell open in horror, and he tried to reach for the wound in Shockwave's neck anyway, thinking maybe he could close it. He hoped that just the strength of his will could work, and he pushed through the program's reluctance. But no matter how hard he pushed or how close his digits got to Shockwave’s severed lines, he could not crimp them shut. His servos shook from the effort.

Now, more than ever, he cursed the creators of the Pacification program.

He swallowed, trying to think. "Can I call someone?"

"Not enough time," Shockwave replied quietly. "It is unfortunate that I am so isolated here."

Starscream wanted to snap that unfortunate was not the right word, but he tried to smooth his irritation. He tried not to think about how good it felt to actually be irritated for once without the program forcibly making him calm down but now was not the time.

"Shockwave. I'm not going to let you die," he declared, touching the side of Shockwave's helm with a soft servo. Shockwave closed his optic and lightly leaned into his touch.

It made Starscream's spark flutter.

Again. He'd think about that later.

Starscream stood, breathing heavily. He held his broken arm at his side, staring down at Shockwave with fierce determination. “I’m going to find help.”

“Starscream- there is no one who will make it in time. Just… stay."

Starscream shook his helm, trying to rid his helm of what Shockwave was saying. He glared down at him with clenched denta. "There is someone nearby. I’ll convince them. Just. Hold on,” he said, rushing out the hole in the wall.

He thought he heard Shockwave call after him softly. It pained his spark to leave him like this, but he had to try.

 

Chapter 34: Tough Break

Starscream stumbled out of the warehouse, trying not to panic.

His thoughts were racing faster than his mind could process, and he distantly worried that his processor was going to overheat. Was that something that could happen? Could someone die from overthinking? He knew that you could get pain from processor-aches- he'd had a bunch of them when he first woke in the Decepticon base. They had lessened now-

Focus. He needed to focus. Shockwave was dying; what the frag was he doing?

He looked wildly around and saw a path down a small hill of debris and started to slide down, not thinking, just moving. He only just managed to stay upright and maintain balance. His heeled thrusters could not accommodate the uneven ground very well, and he nearly fell more than once.

He itched to jump into the sky, but he knew his bad wing would make that dangerous. Also, some Autobots were running around that would likely shoot him down anyway.

Still, he cast a forlorn look up into Cybertron's sky and realized it was the only thing that looked unchanged from Sunstreaker's paintings. It was achingly beautiful, and something about it called to him right now as he tried to keep his footing. 

He brought his gaze down and started looking for signs of the Autobots.

They couldn't have gone far, but… it wasn't like Starscream knew what he was looking for. He had no frame of reference of how to track or how to guess what he should pay attention to. He again suppressed the bubbling urge to panic and hide. 

At least he was observant. He… could do this. He just needed to focus.

Everything had happened so quickly, from the first small explosion to the larger, scarier explosion, to things falling on him and getting trapped... The Autobots probably didn't get away completely unscathed. And then Shockwave…

He had to be okay. Shockwave had to be okay. Shockwave was… well, he was special to Starscream in a way he hadn't quite figured out yet, but Starscream couldn't lose him. Shockwave had seen Starscream as he was, not what he used to be and could be.

There had been so much energon bleeding out of him. His servos clenched into fists and were still slightly sticky from where he had tried- and failed- to help, instead just getting soaked in the warm viscous energon flowing out of Shockwave's neck. His tanks clenched as he remembered seeing Thundercracker, dripping in energon, wounded, and Skywarp's face…

Starscream hiccuped and realized he was hyperventilating. He stopped to lean against the wall of a building, holding a hand over his chest to try and calm himself down with long, gasping breaths. This would not help Shockwave, and Shockwave was going to die-

He thought he heard a muffled curse not far away. He slowly leaned off the wall and followed the sound. He cleared the corner of the broken building to see a small, narrow alleyway.

He found the two Autobots now joined by a few others looking at a vehicle in front of them. Said vehicle, likely another Autobot, had been damaged in the blast from the explosion, and they had been waylaid.

"Wait!" he called pathetically. He knew his voice sounded weak and desperate, but for the life of him, he didn't care. "Please, wait!"

Chromia immediately drew her gun and had it aimed at his helm. "You are behaving very stupidly today."

Starscream put his servos in the air and poured complete desperation into his field. "I'm- I need your help. Please."

Chromia tilted her helm incredulously. "This is a new one."

Elita stood up slowly from where she had been kneeling next to the damaged tire of their companion. She stared at him for another moment, casting a confused look at Chromia. "Why should we help you?"

Starscream swallowed, closing his optics, and his helm fell forward. "I can't do it. I need someone to help me save Shockwave, or he will die."

"You seem to have us confused with those who might shed a tear over that mech," Chromia said bitterly.

But Starscream was watching Elita. "I… I'll be honest. I don't remember you or what I have done to you. My memories were erased recently," he said quietly. "I don't know what it is to ask for your help, but I have to do it anyway."

"You don't remember?" Elita repeated, surprised. 

"He's lying, 'Lita," Chromia said with a growl.

"I promise I'm not," Starscream replied. "Please. I can't- I can't crimp his lines. Please help me."

Elita was frowning. She stared at him for a long time, considering, and Starscream fidgeted slightly under her gaze. 

"I thought something was off about you. You're missing some of your usual… charm," she added with a twitch at the corner of her mouth. 

Starscream sighed, his wings falling behind him. "Yes. In part- it's a long story," he said quietly; his speech was stilted as he tripped over his words to give Elita just enough information to help. "But Shockwave won't last much longer. I'm- look, I'm begging you. Please."

Elita waved him off and started to walk back to the Decepticon base. "I heard you," she said tiredly.

"Elita-1, don't you dare!" Chromia said, flicking her gaze off Starscream to stare after her leader. "You can't! Need I remind you of all the absolute slag Shockwave, let alone Starscream, has put us through? Put you through?"

Elita didn't respond; she just kept walking back to the base. Eventually, with a pained noise of frustration, Chromia grabbed Starscream's shoulder and shoved him forward in front of her.

"Walk," she growled.

Starscream was, unfortunately, familiar with being held at gunpoint and tried to give Chromia and the other Autobots every indication that he was going to comply. He'd had this experience with Mirage. He'd had this experience with the Combaticons.  Ramjet, maybe? Other Autobots? Everyone was so mistrustful of everyone else. He didn't quite get it.

Sometimes, you need to ask for help. Starscream liked to do things independently, but he knew some things were beyond his ability and wasn't ashamed of asking. He only occasionally needed help, but when he did need it, he didn't have the luxury of mistrust. He had to trust these Autobots to do the right thing. Starscream knew he was probably a little too quick to trust, as his inexperience had not jaded him like everyone else he met. But there had to be some way to meet halfway.

This war would never end if they didn't start to try and help each other.

Chromia leaned forward to whisper in his audial. "Awfully quiet, Starscream. Plotting something?"

Starscream huffed a strained laugh. "Would you believe I was just thinking about ending the war?"

"Oh, and I suppose with you as the supreme leader of Cybertron?" she asked mockingly. She jabbed her rifle just a little more into his back.

Starscream swallowed. "No. But I don't think it should be Optimus or Megatron either."

That seemed to take her by surprise. A thoughtful silence fell between them, and then Chromia huffed a small vent. "On that, I think we can agree."

Starscream tilted his helm at that answer. He didn't realize other Autobots didn't precisely love Optimus's brand of leadership too.

She roughly pushed him up the debris, and he faltered a little. His balance was off with his bad wing and arm, and the Autobots didn't rush to help him either. But they waited for him patiently.

"Home sweet home," Chromia groused, pushing Starscream into the warehouse.

Elita was already waiting for them, standing over Shockwave with her gun at her side.

Starscream tried to take a few steps towards him, but Elita stopped him with her scowl.

"I still haven't heard a compelling reason to let him live," she said.

Starscream stared at her and knew his wings probably rattled slightly behind him. He still was not very good at controlling them, and therefore his emotions were often an open book.

He opened his mouth a few times and then closed it, as every angle he could think of fell flat. Finally, he shrugged tiredly. "You wouldn't have come all this way unless you were entertaining the idea of helping him already."

"Are you so sure? What if I just came to put a bullet through his spark and finish the job?" Elita said, turning back to Shockwave's prone form.

Starscream looked down at him and swallowed again. He looked terribly wan, and Starscream worried that it would be too late even if they acted now. But how could he convince her? 

"I can't promise you anything," he said quietly. "I can't make him surrender to you if he lives. I can't make Megatron end the war. I have no power anymore, and I don't know anything-"

"Submit to a memory scan," someone said beside Chromia. Her plating was a kind of mint color and she had a deeper scowl on her than even Chromia. "We can determine if you are telling the truth or not."

Starscream's mouth went dry, and he looked back up at Elita. She appeared to like the idea, but Starscream didn't like the edge he saw in her optics. 

Still, he really had no choice. "If you save Shockwave, you may examine my memories."

"‘Lita,” Chromia said. “He’s being too cooperative.”

“I noticed,” Elita said, scrutinizing Starscream. "That that is also new."

Starscream looked down at the ground and gave a shaky sigh. “Please,” he tried again.

“Do you remember when I begged for Optimus’s life?” Elita retorted. She stepped forward, placed her pointer digit under Starscream’s chin, and brought his face up to look directly at her. “You were not merciful in the slightest, Starscream.”

Starscream stared at her beautiful face, trying to find the words that might reach her. “I told you, I don’t remember. I’m sorry I don’t. But I also don’t doubt it, given what I know I was capable of,” he replied. “But you are a better person than I was, Elita. I have to trust that you are.”

Elita hesitated. She was confused and suspicious even more, but she released his chin. She stared for a few moments, wondering, puzzling through. Starscream couldn’t blame her.

Elita sighed and then turned around to face Shockwave for a moment. She stared long enough that Starscream got worried that she was just going to shoot him after all. “Elita, please-“

“Silence, Starscream; you’ve convinced me. I’m just trying to come to terms with it.”

Starscream finally released his held vent and tilted his helm back to look up at the ceiling in appreciation. To whom or what, he wasn’t quite sure.

Chromia moved past him, clipping Starscream on the shoulder as she went to Elita’s side. She was hurriedly whispering to her, clearly displeased with the decision. Starscream found himself almost sagging back as the tension left his frame and the pain of his bad wing and arm caught up with him. He then stumbled for real and only just stopped himself from collapsing.

“Whoa, easy there,” a green Autobot said to him. She steadied him, holding on to his good arm to help him stay upright. “You alright there?”

Starscream blinked at the kind sentiment. “I had some shelves land on me earlier,” he replied quietly. “And I was able to ignore it for a minute.”

“Oh, yeah,” the Autobot said, looking him over. “That looks like it hurts. Let’s get you fixed up,” she chirped. She looked over her shoulder and gave a wink to Elita and Chromia.  “Mind showing me where your medbay is?”

Starscream did not miss the strange airy tone of her voice and figured something was going on. But he had to just let this play out and hoped that they would make the right decisions when they figured out he was telling the truth.

He swallowed. So far, not many mechs had ever made the right decisions for him. 

“Gladly,” he replied. “After I see that Shockwave is stable.”

Chromia’s brow furrowed, her optics like slits, and even Elita looked slightly perturbed. But then Elita sighed and gave a beckoning motion to the green Autobot. “Greenlight. Fix the gunformer.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she said. She walked over to Shockwave, leaned down next to him, and began investigating. She then placed her digits on the side of his neck and found the cabling that had been gushing energon not long ago. She frowned and then pulled out a patch kit from subspace and got to work.

She repaired him quickly, murmuring to herself as she applied the patch. Starscream watched her intently, trying to make sure she didn't install anything that shouldn't be there to the best of his knowledge. Greenlight seemed to be above board, though. She then used a medical jack to plug into a small port on Shockwave’s arm, and it looked like she began to run some diagnostics.

“Just in time,” she murmured, pulling out an energon cube. She concentrated, and then a tiny fuel cap opened on Shockwave’s wrist, and she was able to manually fuel him. “Pressure has been restored to his lines, which will save his spark from guttering out. He’ll probably still be unconscious for a little bit.”

“Get him tied up regardless,” Chromia said.

“That’s not necessary,” Starscream said, stepping forward.

All four of the Autobots suddenly had their guns trained on his spark.

He held up his hands. “That really isn’t necessary.”

Another beat of palpable, thick silence hung in the air. Starscream’s patience was starting to wear thin, and he was about to just yell at them to get on with it if they were going to shoot him; it was better than waiting anxiously for what could happen next.

Elita was the first to drop her gun back to her side. “Moonracer and Chromia, stay here with Shockwave. I’ll take Greenlight with me to chat more with our host,” Elita said with a flick of her chin.

Chromia looked unhappy about the arrangement but said nothing as she leaned down and tied Shockwave up with some cabling. Moonracer assisted and pulled the bonds a little too tight around Shockwave that his frame dented a little.

“Now, hold on,” he said, stepping forward again. He pointed to the damage they were doing to him. “I’m not leaving him if you are going to damage him-”

In a fluid motion, Elita grabbed Starscream’s wrist, twisted his arm, and brought it up behind him to contort painfully against his wings. “The rough treatment is nothing he hasn’t done to us.”

Starscream hissed as the pacification program engaged and made his frame limp like a marionette in her hold. Elita’s brow furrowed as she held him there and scrutinized what was happening.

Starscream was a little surprised and frightened too. He thought he had full autonomy over his frame now. 

Maybe he… did. Perhaps it wasn’t the pacification program affecting him, but his emotions? Most of his feelings had been dulled up until his point under the program's watchfulness, so maybe this had nothing to do with pacification and everything to do with how he was reacting to fear and pain.

And worry.

He tried to distract her. “I understand that,” he replied. “But if you want me to cooperate, you have to guarantee to me that you won’t hurt him.”

He was bluffing. He had to cooperate with them if she would physically manipulate him, but he didn’t have the damn program dampening his emotions anymore.

Which… was probably why he was seconds from hyperventilating again.

Elita was still watching him, and she was so close that he could feel her vents against his back. She was powerful and intimidating, and yet again, he wished his former self could have calmed the frag down a little by pissing everyone off.

“You… care about him?” Elita asked quietly. He couldn’t see her face behind him to try and guess what she was thinking.

Starscream flicked his gaze to Shockwave, then gave a short exvent of resignation. “Yeah. I do.”

Elita made a humming noise and then called over to Chromia. “Treat him… decently,” Elita said as if she couldn’t quite understand the words coming out of her mouth. 

Chromia wrinkled her nose. “Should I give him a good shine to his plating while I’m at it?”

“Don’t rough him up,” Elita clarified as she pulled Starscream into the hallway. “My orders.”

Chromia scoffed, but Starscream got the impression she would obey. His roiled spark calmed a little as he was dragged and then marched away roughly.

They walked together with Greenlight and Elita occasionally talking to each other in clear code, but Starscream couldn’t keep up and try and figure out what they were saying, even though it was clearly about him. Eventually, Elita let him walk down the hallway of his own accord when he didn’t struggle or try to run off.

They walked in stony silence for a time. Starscream occasionally had to wave off an excited drone that was confused at the presence of the Autobots, but otherwise, they were unaccosted as Starscream led them deeper into the base. He realized that he was likely giving them a lot of intelligence about the layout and the defenses, but it couldn’t be helped.

“So, you said you lost your memories,” Elita said as they finally approached the medbay. “How did that happen?”

Starscream opened the doors and led them in. “Hook and the Constructicons erased them on Megatron’s orders.”

Elita frowned. “Why?”

Starscream licked his lips, unsure how to answer without completely lying. He still needed their help, so he didn’t want to lie outright, but he wasn’t sure he should put his whole fate in their hands before they knew he was telling the truth.

“If you plan to scan my memories, you’ll see it anyway,” he replied dryly.

“Well, at least the ones you allow us to access,” Greenlight said brightly. “Likely there will be something in there that will help us.”

Starscream said nothing, shuffling his pedes.

Greenlight immediately went to a console and began typing commands. “Have a seat, ‘Screamer,” she said. “And no funny business,” she chided as if he were a sparkling.

“I’m not sure what you mean, but I intend to fully cooperate,” he replied.

Greenlight quickly set to work connecting him to many monitors and then finally a cortical connection at the back of his helm. It slotted in easily and felt a little warm, making him nervous. Elita reached over for his good arm and gently tied him down to the medical berth guard rails, making optic contact with him as she did so.

She didn’t say anything but just regarded him knowingly as if trying to say that he should not complain like this was standard procedure.

Finally, Elita said, “Activate the firewall hack.”

Starscream furrowed his brow, not understanding what she was saying. “What?”

Elita smirked. “Well, I suppose it would be ridiculous to ask you to bring them down willingly-“

“Ma’am,” Greenlight said quietly. “He doesn’t have any firewalls.”

Starscream tried to keep his face impassive. 

There was a slight pause as the two Autobots clearly couldn’t believe their luck. “Tough break, Starscream,” Elita said. “Dive in, then.”

Chapter 35: Effectively Dead

Shockwave onlined slowly, blinking his optic, suppressing a groan.

His neck burned painfully, and his frame ached as if he had been hit by a truck-alt.

As he came more up to the surface of consciousness, he realized he was on the ground, tied up, laying on his side. He immediately checked his communications to signal for help, but everything had been taken offline. He then accessed his secret communications and internally frowned when he found even his redundant systems had been deactivated.

"Finally awake?" Chromia called.

His optic narrowed in displeasure.

They were still in the warehouse, thoroughly wrecked from the explosion, with many energon cubes still scattered across the ground. Carbon scoring from the high heat of the blast marred the floor.

"Release me at once," he said, his voice laced with static.

"Not on your life," Chromia replied. "What are the codes to the weapons vault?"

Shockwave turned his optic to stare at her incredulously.

She glared back but then ignored him, going back to gathering up the energon cubes with Moonracer.

Shockwave struggled uselessly at his bonds, giving a minor exvent in exasperation. Unfortunately, the female Autobots were quite good at securing a prisoner, and he could not move an inch. He was pretty strong because of his size, but they seemed to have considered that. Shockwave was at their mercy unless he could turn the tables somehow.

Which… was odd. Why wasn't he dead? They should have killed him by now.

He turned his attention inward and ran some diagnostics.

He had been repaired. Refueled even. How did he not perish from that neck wound? He should have bled out, his processor offlining from lack of energon, then his spark should have gone into arrest-

Everything came rushing back to him in an instant.

He took a quick intake as he looked wildly around the room. “Where is Starscream?" he asked as neutrally as possible.

Chromia narrowed her optics. "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about him," she said, laying down her cubes. “He's being awfully… pleasant to be around. Did you scramble his personality components?"

"I did nothing of the sort," he said disdainfully. “I demand to know his whereabouts."

"I’m sure you demand a lot of things,” she said irritably. She walked over to him until she was standing over him, looming. “He’s with Elita at the moment. Occupied.”

That could mean anything. They could be torturing him, talking with him, trying to work the space bridge to take him back to Earth and Megatron in a trade-

“Chromia.  Listen to me-”

“No. No, you listen to me,” Chromia said, crouching down so that she was closer and staring at him with furious optics. “Let’s get one thing straight. You are our prisoner right now, and I don’t really care what you want, so stop making demands of me.”  She poked him in the shoulder. “Just lay there and be quiet until Elita gets back, then you can make your demands of her. I’m sure she’d love to hear them.”

“You don’t understand,” Shockwave said. “This isn’t a trick or a trap; there is information regarding Starscream that I need to-”

“Are you missing audials along with missing a second optic? Pipe down, gunformer.”  Chromia stood then and walked away from him before he could protest again, going back to talk to Moonracer.

Shockwave clenched his fist and struggled again, trying to figure out a way to get Chromia’s attention again.

 

---

 

Starscream stifled a shiver as he registered the ghostly presence of the two Autobots inside his helm. The cortical patch ached where it was connected into the back of his neck; it was uncomfortably warm and almost raw. 

“There’s not a lot here,” he distantly heard Greenlight say. “He was telling the truth about his memories being erased, I guess. He only has about three months of information.”

“Go back to the beginning,” Elita said. “The first twenty-four hours.”

Starscream was pulled to the moment he woke up, blinking back the notifications on his HUD and Hook walking him through how to dismiss them. Even after all this time, he still had a small affection for the mech, who was the first one there after he woke up and had gently told him his name and to be respectful to Megatron.

“Oh wow,” Greenlight said. “Primus, he’s…”

“Keep going,” Elita said.

They fast-forwarded to the part when he first met Megatron and the declaration that he would be protected. He watched the memory with some distress as the same emotions that he had then permeated his mind. He was unsure, confused, suspicious without any foundation, and it bothered him. His frame had wanted to tense under Megatron’s scrutiny, almost like he wanted to attack the mech, but that made no sense? Why would he want to hurt Megatron?

He realized that Megatron had not kept his promise. He was forced to watch his naïve, slightly younger self get confused and worried at what was happening and unfortunately know how he would be manipulated later.

All the lies started that day.

There was some more skipping through things, to the intimate conversations with his trine, his learning as to what trine even meant, to his pathetic loneliness and desire not to sleep alone, to the moment that Skywarp had first kissed him.

Greenlight blushed, making a little noise of surprise. “That was adorable.”

Elita’s frown only increased as she folded her arms.

He desperately wanted Skywarp and Thundercracker at that moment. The aching longing was more potent now that he was forced to review these memories practically in slow motion. He took a shaky invent, trying to keep it together as they already were pushing to the next set of memories. They landed on the first time he and Shockwave had started to work on the limits of the pacification program.

In the memory, Shockwave was speaking.

“You are here for us to test the exact limits of your condition, as apparently, no one is quite sure about your boundaries,” he said. “Most of what we know about your condition is based on legend, rumor, and hearsay, and not based in any form of reputable data. So, we will have to start with the basics.”

Starscream knit his brow in confusion. “Other mechs have had my condition before? I thought it was an accident, and I was… changed?”

“Pause there,” Elita said, turning to Starscream. “You can’t fight back because of your condition? What condition?”

Starscream shivered. It felt like the two Autobots were holding his processor in their hands, poking and prodding at it. He thought they weren’t trying to be rough or hurt him, but it dawned on him how absolutely vulnerable he was right now. He tried to keep his voice very calm to not set them off.

“Pacification,” he said quietly. “Jazz and Prowl pacified me permanently.”

Elita’s optics went wide, and Greenlight’s mouth fell open. “What- what-” she stammered.

“Under orders?” Elita asked lowly.

Starscream shivered again. “N-no,” he replied. “I was told later they acted rogue without authorization, thinking it was a temporary condition.”

Elita watched him, her optics softening slowly. “It wasn’t.”

“No,” he confirmed. “Though you will see Shockwave made things a little better, I am still… altered.”

Elita looked confused at the mention of Shockwave’s name and looked back at the screen and his memories. 

“Elita,” Greenlight said worriedly.

Elita’s optics then moved to the ground as she thought quickly. “I need more information,” she said quietly. “I’m- I can’t trust what I’m seeing; these memories could have been planted.”

“Is that even possible?” Greenlight said, clicking away on the console. “Can I edit these?”

Fear gripped Starscream’s tanks.

“Don’t, please,” he whispered. “Please, I can’t-”

Greenlight seemed to stop what she was doing, looking at him with surprise. “We… wouldn’t, Starscream. We would never edit your memories- I’m sorry I frightened you.”

Starscream trembled again, and the cuff that kept him immobilized on the berth bit into his wrist a little. He was more than a little disturbed to find his memories were so easily accessed and then potentially edited. He had never considered the possibility for some reason, but now with all of his life being combed over for information, sifted through the uncaring servos of these Autobots, he realized how easily he could be taken advantage of. 

They could make him into anything they wanted him to be. He would be powerless to stop them.

But… it appeared they didn’t want to. For now.

“We aren’t going to edit your memories,” Elita confirmed, her voice surprisingly gentle. She stepped closer and put a gentle servo on his shoulder. “Even if you were the old Starscream, we wouldn’t violate your mind like that.”

He looked up at Elita, and to his immense shame, he could feel cleaning fluid in the corners of his optics. “Thank you,” he rasped.

Elita removed her hand from his shoulder, letting it drop to the berth. “Let’s hurry this up,” she said. “I am not interested in hurting him; I just need answers.”

Greenlight nodded. “I’ll do some search inquiries.”

Starscream took a shaky invent. Starscream’s helm began to swim, and he thought he might need to purge. This was too much; too many things were happening; he was overwhelmed, stressed, tired, tense, and rapidly weakening into the berth.

“He doesn’t look too good,” Greenlight said, frowning. Still, she typed away quickly. “I don’t have much experience with pacification, but I know it’s nasty. This experience is likely stressful on his systems since he doesn’t have any protective parameters.”

“Just a few more minutes,” Elita said softly, addressing him. He stared back at her and nodded slightly, trying to steel himself. Starscream needed these two to trust him sooner than later so he could protect Shockwave. They still seemed poised to kill him at any moment, and Starscream could not let that happen. If the only way to save him was to allow them to rip the truth right out of his helm, then so be it.

“Elita. He joined the other Autobots for a little while.”

The whole world spun as they raced through his memories there, gliding blessedly past Thundercracker almost dying to focus intently on the strange friendships and interactions he had with the Autobots while under their… care.

Elita went tight-lipped when Optimus began to speak during their strange conversation at the Ark. Her servos curled around the console, squeezing the metal until it dented under her digits.

She seemed… displeased.

They began skipping through his memories, just getting glimpses and peeks at things as they hopped around. He thought his mind was starting to unravel and unable to keep up with the quick change of time and place.

They got to Skyfire, and he whimpered.

He wasn’t sure how many more memories they looked through before Elita spoke again.

“That’s enough,” Elita said, her voice strained. “I’ve… seen enough.”

Starscream wasn’t really paying attention anymore. He distantly thought she walked over to him and uncuffed him from the berth. His mind throbbed painfully from them moving around through his memories. He swayed, unmoored, but Elita steadied him with a strong but gentle hold.

“This… this is unconscionable,” Elita said. “Get him a pain patch and repair him.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Greenlight said.

Starscream shivered again as Greenlight started to root around in the supplies of the medbay. 

Elita’s blue optics were searching his face. “Why didn’t you say anything? You should have told us."

“You wouldn’t have believed me,” he said, rasping. “And I don’t blame you based on what I used to be like. My best defense was the truth."

She cast her gaze downward, furrowing her brow. “You are probably right. When we last met, it was not under the best of circumstances."

Greenlight appeared beside him and gently removed the cortical patch, severing the connection. Starscream hissed quietly through his clenched teeth. "In the spirit of honesty,” he said, bringing his servo up to rub the back of his neck, “I didn't know my memories could be so easily accessed or potentially edited like that."

"That's why they erased your memories," Elita said. "They could easily be accessed and stolen. You had millions of years of crimes and intelligence from being the Decepticon second-in-command. And now… it's all gone. Everything you… he did, it’s just gone."

Starscream swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable in Elita's arms. "If it is any consolation, he is effectively dead."

Elita wordlessly watched Starscream, pulling back so Greenlight could get to work on his repairs. They stared at each other for a long time, the air tense. Greenlight looked like she was pretending that everything was fine as she gave him pain relievers and started to repair his arm and wing.

"It should console me," Elita said, finally. "But it is not as satisfying as I hoped."

Starscream wished he had the words to soothe her for some reason, but he really didn’t know what to say. 

Her optics hardened a fraction. “At least I still have Shockwave.”

Starscream’s mouth fell open, and he tried to move to protest. “No- wait, Elita- wait-”

Elita gave Greenlight a pat on the arm. "I'll be back. Update me on his progress."

She turned to leave, heading out of the room. Starscream was afraid she was taking all his hope with her. "Wait. Please- what is your plan here? What are you going to do?"

Elita stopped at the door but didn't turn around. "Right now? I'm going to talk to an old friend. Then I'll decide what to do with you."

Starscream tried to say more, but the pain patches finally kicked in, and he sagged. His processor became foggy, and blessedly his pain disappeared, but it took his focus with it. Greenlight gently guided him to lay down, murmuring some kinda and gentle things to him.

Starscream thought he might have said Shockwave's name, but he wasn't sure before darkness enveloped him, and he went unconscious.

Chapter 36: Sacrifices

Notes:

Some inferred OpLita here, but that's kind of G1 for you.

You're going to yell at me, but I wrapped this present for you back in the beginning chapters <3

"Sir," Red Alert said from the door to his office. "There is a call from Cybertron. For… you."

Optimus furrowed his brow. While there were Autobots still on Cybertron, the Decepticons had communications locked down tight coming to and from their home planet. He wasn't expecting a call from anyone.

"Shockwave?"

"I’m not sure,” Red Alert said. “You’ll have to accept it before I can analyze it.”

“Very well. Route it to my console,” Optimus said, turning towards his desk.

Red Alert left him off to follow the command, closing the door behind him. Optimus straightened up at his desk, trying to figure out what expression he should have on his face as he accepted the call. Stern? Stoic? It was likely a Decepticon plot, which he didn’t have time for, but he would greet the challenge head-on.

No matter how tired he really was.

There was a little bit of static as the call was connected, and then a very familiar face filled the screen.

“Elita!” he said jubilantly, surprise coloring his voice.

“Optimus,” she replied, a small smile on her face. “It’s been a long time.”

Optimus knew Elita well and thought she sounded just as tired as he felt. He tried to shrug off the feeling and attempted to focus. “Are you- are you alright? You are calling from Shockwave’s frequency.”

“Yes, there has been a little turn of events that put us in temporary control of his base,” she said with a knowing smile. Her optics had mischief glinting in them, and Optimus knew there was quite a story there. He would have loved to hear her tell it, but she seemed too focused.

She sighed. "I do not think we can hold it for long, but I thought I would take the opportunity to call you.”

“Understood,” he replied, nodding. “Is this a… social call?” he asked, hopeful, but knowing it wasn’t.

“Not exactly,” she replied. She paused, pressing her glossa to the inside of her cheek. “I wondered how things were going on Earth?”

Optimus tried to keep his face blank. He quietly pushed a button on his keyboard to block Red Alert from listening in. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we haven’t had a chance to chat about it. I was able to fill you in on my side of the war on Cybertron, but- I suppose I wonder. Are you losing, Optimus? Are you in peril? We can send some of our forces to you to aid you-”

Optimus blanched. “No, no, we aren’t. We aren’t losing. We’re at a stalemate, much as we have been for a long time.” He was a little confused at this line of questioning, especially since he had not talked to Elita for a while. Why was she worried? He had only ever projected strength to her, and it bothered him that she was questioning that. He never wanted to appear weak to her.

She stared back, letting the silence fill the void between them. When it became almost awkward, Optimus swallowed and decided to clarify. “We have had some difficulties lately, but it’s been taken care of. Or at least it’s started to get fixed.”

“Difficulties?” she pressed.

Optimus stared back at her and got the feeling that none of this was a surprise to Elita. He thought about brushing it off and changing the subject, but somehow he knew that was not the right direction to steer this conversation. Elita would be offended. And also, part of him wanted to talk to her about it, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Skyfire left the Autobots. And the Aerialbots as well.”

Her lips pressed into a tight line. “Why did they leave?”

Optimus invented, trying to find the right words. “I don’t think Skyfire was ever meant for war, and he convinced the Aerialbots of the same. He woke up so late into the conflict that I don’t think he understands what we have sacrificed to get where we are, and he wasn’t interested in learning much about those sacrifices either.”

“Sacrificed,” Elita repeated. She looked down at her lap. “We have sacrificed a lot, haven’t we?”

“Yes,” Optimus replied painfully. “We have.”

She nodded sadly. “What is your plan after all this is done? The war?”

Optimus liked this subject of conversation better. It was something he thought about often, planning and laying the groundwork for what would come. He daydreamed about this future when he wasn't actively fighting or supporting his Autobots. “Return to Cybertron, and restore it through peaceful means.”

“And the remaining Decepticons?”

He frowned. “That will depend on them. Most of them will likely not survive the final battle, which will be unfortunate. We would try to reconcile with the remainder.”

Elita stared at him unblinkingly for a long time. “It’s odd that you don’t have that reversed. That you won’t try to reconcile before the final battle.”

“It's not the reality of the situation."

"Wouldn't you still try-"

"This war will only end when Megatron is eliminated. He will stop for nothing less,” Optimus said, shifting in his seat. “He’s changed since we were all on Cybertron, Elita. He’s unhinged and unreasonable. The Decepticons will be hard to convince and pull to our way of life, so the most problematic of them will need to be destroyed before that.”

“Or sacrificed,” she said quietly.

Optimus furrowed his brow. “Elita,” he said gently. “Have I done something-”

“I met someone today.” She shifted in her seat to sit up taller. “He had an interesting story to tell.”

The abrupt interruption surprised Optimus. Elita was not usually like this. “Oh?" he replied. "Didn’t think you got a lot of new visitors on Cybertron.”

“No,” she said, smiling wryly. “Not often, so it is noteworthy when it happens.”

She hesitated again and then tilted her helm to stare him down.

“He said you pacified him.”

Optimus blinked a few times, not understanding what she had said. Her voice dripped with venom and darkness, and he was reeling just from the tone alone. The word pacified had seared right into his processor, and his mind had gone blank. Then it came to him, and he tensed.

“Starscream is on Cybertron?! Is he alright?”

“He’s fine,” Elita replied. "We didn’t realize at first what had happened, of course. We were a little rough with him, but when we scanned his memories, we learned… everything. Or at least a lot more.”

Optimus could feel a chill, trickling sensation down his neck. This explained her coldness towards him. “I see,” he said slowly. He tried to grasp the right words to explain and make her understand. “You know, his memories could have been manipulated-”

“We checked for that first,” she replied. “They were not tampered with.”

“Even so,” he said. “One person’s memories don’t hold the full truth.”

Elita stared at him, and her optics hardened. “True. I only saw things from Starscream’s perspective. However, Optimus… I need to be frank with you. I’m a little disturbed with what little I saw of the situation."

Optimus nodded sadly. “I don’t blame you. However… I have been dealing with this for the past three months, daily. You are not the only one concerned about how it was handled and what led to the situation. And I will tell you what I have told everyone else. I did not authorize Prowl or Jazz to do what they did. I would have forbidden them to experiment with this program if I had known. When I had discovered what they had done, I demoted them. I could no longer trust their judgment.”

He took a deep breath, trying to gauge how Elita was taking his explanation. She looked back through the monitor, impassive and inscrutable.

“I am not sure what else I could have done," he added. "We attempted to make it right.”

“By kidnapping him,” she shot back.

Optimus shook his helm. “He came with us willingly.”

“He really didn’t.”

Optimus tried to keep his annoyance in check and stared back in silence.

“Maybe technically,” she conceded. “But he really didn’t. Anyone in his pedes would have been forced into the same slag decision, and you forced it when you attacked his base. His family. And he knew you were there for him, even though he had told Jazz he wanted to stay with the Decepticons. That’s a shrewd move that I’d expect from a Decepticon, not you.”

Optimus opened his mouth to defend himself, but Elita wasn’t done.

“I suppose it’s a difficult situation, though. You lost your star scientist from the golden age, and you lost your main air force and giant combiner in one fell swoop. That put you way behind on the board with the Decepticons, and I can see you needed to do something to tip the scales again.”

She glanced away from the screen. “Starscream was not exactly a shining example of a person. All this couldn’t have happened to a better mech, right? I thought that once I figured out how this had happened, how he had been pacified, I might feel some vindication. I thought I might feel that justice had been served. Starscream was off the board, permanently. I never have to worry about him again. But I don’t feel that way, Optimus.”

Optimus was now uncomfortable. “It was an accident, Elita.”

Her optics flashed. “Prowl and Jazz did what they thought was right. They interpreted your orders. And… I know you, Optimus. And while I know that while it was possible for Jazz and Prowl to do this without your knowledge, I don’t think they did. The knowledge of pacification was buried so deep in Teletraan-1 that I doubt they could have found it without help, even if they didn’t know they had been helped. And, I doubt they would have ignored the warning about flight frames had they seen it. I think it wasn’t there, or… it had been removed.”

Optimus closed his optics slowly. He was exhausted all of a sudden.

“They might think it is their fault, but again, Optimus, I know you,” she said. “Something has shifted. This war has become about taking Megatron down, and only that. You've lost sight of every other way this can end."

Elita leaned forward, and her denta flashed in a grimace. "And wouldn't you just love for him to be pacified?"

Optimus opened his optics again, staring back at her. “It would be an ideal situation.”

“Perhaps, for you, yes. You wouldn’t have the stain of killing him; that is accurate,” she said bitterly. “You could keep your hands clean. But you couldn't just go out and try it on him; you had to make sure it worked first. And you just happened to have Starscream on hand.”

Optimus leaned back in his chair and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose to try and ease the pressure that was giving him a helmache.

He didn’t bother refuting her; there would be no point. Elita did know him exceptionally well, and if she thought he was capable of what she was accusing him of, it would take hard evidence to convince her otherwise. Evidence he didn’t have.

She looked so disappointed in him, and in truth, he knew it was deserved. He had been able to rationalize his actions and the actions of his mechs in order to operate, but Elita could see right through him. And could see the changes in him he was afraid to acknowledge.

“I am exhausted, Elita. I wanted this conversation to go differently when I finally talked to you about this. And I hate that I can’t talk about this with you in person.”

He hesitated one more time before the words started to tumble out of his mouth.

“I can’t save everyone, but I’m trying my best to save some. I’m either going to lose a lot of good mechs that are relying on me to get them through this, or I am going to lose myself and my honor. I would gladly give up my own life to save theirs, but that’s not a choice I’ve been given, so I will give up my principles instead. If I don’t end this soon, it won’t just be the Cybertronians who will perish, but the humans and other beings across the universe. I was trying to save most at the expense of a few mechs. Terrible mechs. I don’t have the luxury of running a moral war.”

Elita looked at him sadly, saying nothing. “I don’t think you should be leading the Autobots anymore.”

Optimus squared his shoulders. “If you think someone else is more fit, let them hold the Matrix and see if it deems them worthy.” He stared for a few more moments, and then his shoulders began to sag. “I regret everything, Elita. I hate myself and what I’ve had to do and what I think I need to do to save everyone.”

Elita’s frame softened a little. “I want to believe you. I just didn’t realize you had gone this far already. I would have helped you. I would have stopped you.”

“I wish you could have. Now I don’t see any way out other than the path I’m on.”

Elita leaned forward in her chair. “Optimus. Remove the Matrix from yourself. Step down as the Autobot leader. Let Ultra Magnus have the mantle or someone else. Step away and try to find ways to stop this war before sacrificing anyone else to get there.”

Optimus shook his helm. “I’m sorry, Elita. I can’t do that.”

She looked panicked. This was the first time that she didn’t look in control anymore during the conversation.

“Optimus,” she said softly. “Let me help you.”

Optimus felt himself weakening at the sound of her voice.

“Come to Cybertron,” she said. “Get on the spacebridge; fight your way through if you have to. We can talk about the next steps. Before you do anything else rash, Optimus- before I lose you completely. Please.”

Optimus swallowed and then nodded. “I… will try and find a way there. It'll take a few days.”

“Good,” she said. “I will see you soon, then.”

The screen went black.

He wasn’t sure if she had ended the communication early without saying a formal goodbye. He suspected that she had. She would broker no argument and demanded that he make his way to Cybertron. He didn’t have a choice.

Optimus missed her. Immensely.

He stood slowly from the console and commed his officers to talk about making a run for the spacebridge.

 

Notes:

Lol accidental antagonist Optimus has appeared! <3 Next chapter is finally some cute ShockStar with their reunion, I promise.

Chapter 37: See the World As I Do

“I demand to speak with Elita!” Shockwave was yelling. “You know the rules of imprisonment- I get to speak with your leader!”

“You have never once followed the rules of imprisonment!” Chromia said, pushing Shockwave down the hallway to the brig.

“I absolutely have! I have spoken to every prisoner that I’ve captured.”

“I’m not arguing with you about this,” Chromia said. “You’re squawking way more than usual, and I’m tired of it.” She jammed the butt of her rifle into the plating in his back. He tripped forward a little, just managing to catch himself right at the end, but he winced as he was not fully healed yet. “Get in the cell.”

“And Starscream?” he asked, again, for the umpteenth time.

“I have no clue.” She pushed him beyond the bars and closed the cell door. “Take it up with Elita,” she said, smirking.

Shockwave huffed his vents. “You need to understand- I’ve been trying to tell you about Starscream- that he’s not-”

“He’s not what?” Chromia asked derisively.

Shockwave was about to answer her but stopped himself. Of all the Autobots he often fought on Cybertron, Chromia was the most tiresome and violent. He needed to let the Autobots understand Starscream’s condition, but not if they would use it against him.

They might not even care and hurt Starscream anyway.

“Oh?” Chromia said, arching an optic ridge. “Why are you so obsessed with Starscream all of a sudden? I thought you couldn’t stand him.”

Shockwave stilled slightly. He had been asking himself the same question for a long time, perhaps even from before Starscream’s pacification when he used to chuckle at Starscream’s ridiculous requisition requests for supplies. He often thought about the seeker and what amusing plans he came up with to undermine Lord Megatron as Shockwave toiled away protecting Cybertron. Ultimately, Starscream’s lack of loyalty to their leader was unfortunate, but Shockwave still found him enjoyable to work with and often his only ally when talking about scientific pursuits with the rest of the faction.

But ever since Starscream had been pacified, he had become so vulnerable. Shockwave hated to see Starscream, who was once so proud and beautiful (and still beautiful), made so low because of an accident from their enemies. Shockwave did not often think of other mechs besides himself and his leader, but Starscream had chosen him to rely on it had… affected Shockwave.

“I’m not obsessed with Starscream,” he replied to Chromia, glaring with his optic. “He is a fellow officer, and I demand to know his status.”

Chromia narrowed her optics and was about to say more, but then Elita appeared in the doorway to the brig. Starscream was with her, and his face broke with excitement when he saw Shockwave.

“Shock-” he started as he tried to run forward, but Elita grabbed him by his wrists bound behind his back. He was stopped in his tracks, and he turned his helm to look at Elita pleadingly.

Shockwave tensed and took a step forward towards the bars of his cell. Starscream was alive and seemingly undamaged, but he was currently at Elita’s mercy. Already, Shockwave was preparing to offer Elita reparations to just let the seeker go, but he now didn’t have anything that Elita couldn’t already possess and take for herself.

Starscream being the chief among those things.

Starscream looked back at Shockwave, his optics bright and wide with concern. He must be entirely overwhelmed by the situation, and their collective history with these Autobots in particular was not doing him any favors. Shockwave clenched his cuffed servos in front of him, aching to reach out and grab Starscream to hide him behind Shockwave’s frame.

He chose to ignore his logic centers that were asking why.

Starscream struggled a little again, and Elita sighed exasperatedly.

“Just a second, Starscream,” Elita said as she fiddled with his cuffs. “I’m just unlocking these.”

Shockwave narrowed his optics. Why was Elita releasing him? What was her angle there? Was she planning to use Starscream against Shockwave in some way?

Finally, Starscream was free, and he rushed to the cell bars.

“Shockwave, are you alright?” he asked, looking up at him with concern.

“Surprisingly alive,” he said, his optic still trained on Elita. He then moved to gaze to Starscream, softening as he looked over him. “How are you?”

“I am well,” Starscream replied. “They repaired me.”

Shockwave nodded and brought his cuffed servos up to wrap around a bar of the cell, right below Starscream’s. Their servos brushed against each other, and Shockwave’s plating warmed pleasantly where they touched. 

“It was a little amusing to have both of you demand to see each other so strongly,” Elita said from the door. Her voice was not cruel like it could have been. If anything, it was soft and curious.

Starscream looked down at his pedes. “You reviewed my memories,” he replied to her. “You already have an answer to your question.”

Shockwave closed his optic, regret entering into his field. Starscream’s privacy had been violated on such an intimate level, and he likely had been unable to stop them or shield his memories from potential tampering. It must not have been a pleasant experience, but it did explain why Elita didn’t think he was a threat.

“I didn’t ask a question,” Elita replied, walking closer behind Starscream. “But I suppose I did imply one.”

Shockwave tensed as she approached them, and he wrapped his servo around Starscream’s and gave a gentle squeeze.

“What are your demands, Elita?” he growled.

Elita clenched her jaw and gave him a stern look. She didn’t immediately answer, which was interesting. She actually looked… unsure. Something in those memories must have rattled her.

“The least we could do is punish you for your crimes against us,” Chromia snapped. “Strip this damn base down to its bolts, take all of your energon, and then blow it up.”

“With us still inside?” Shockwave asked, affecting a bored tone. “How petulant.”

Elita was oddly silent through this exchange. Shockwave was sure that she would usually be chiming in about how Shockwave deserved his fate, but instead, her lips were tight, and she looked pensive.

“Please don’t blow us up,” Starscream said, looking back at Chromia. His servo had slightly tensed under Shockwave’s.

“That’s not going to happen,” Elita said quietly. "We aren't the judge and jury for your crimes."

Well, that was… odd for her to say. Fortuitous, but odd.

“Then let’s talk about what is going to happen,” Shockwave said. “In about three hours, I will not be at my console to send the codes to disable the autonomous alarm messages. At that time, every Decepticon on Cybertron will be alerted and summoned here. After five hours, Megatron on Earth will be alerted. Do I need to give you a rough estimate of everyone’s scramble times?”

Elita clenched her jaw and sighed. “No, Shockwave. Unless we manage to crack the alarm codes or convince you to deactivate it.”

Shockwave drew back in surprise. “There is no way you can,” he said suspiciously.

“But perhaps with another Decepticon’s help?” Chromia said, giving Starscream a side-glance. “You were accommodating before.”

Starscream swallowed. “I don’t know the codes.”

“There might be other things that you can unlock,” Chromia said. She stepped forward and reached for his shoulder. “Come on.”

“He stays with me,” Shockwave said, tensing. His voice was low and dark.

"Hmm," Chromia said, smirking darkly. "Why's that, Shockwave?"

Starscream shivered in Chromia’s grasp but looked back over his shoulder at Elita. “I would like to stay here,” he asked quietly.

Elita's face clouded over. "I'm not putting you in a cell," she said gently. "And not with him."

"He won't hurt me," Starscream replied. "Let me stay here for some time, and I will talk to him.”

Shockwave blanched. "Starscream-" he started.

Starscream looked back up at him. “Just talk,” Starscream said, giving him a wry smile.

Shockwave looked back up and saw Elita soften, her frame relaxing. Shockwave was missing some details here and tilted his helm when Elita stepped forward, unlocked the cell, and let Starscream in to join Shockwave. “I’ll be back to check on you in a little while,” she said, locking the door behind him.

Chromia looked incredibly confused and even more so when Elita grabbed her arm and gently pulled her out and away from the brig.

As their steps receded down the hall, Shockwave finally relaxed his shoulders.

Starscream immediately embraced him. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” he said quietly into his plating.

Shockwave was bewildered when he was saddled with the desire to lay his cheek on top of Starscream’s helm. It was about the only physical contact he could actively give as his servos were still cuffed in front of him, but he resisted the urge. “You would have been safer had you listened,” he replied.

Starscream leaned back out of the embrace. Shockwave was struck by his open look and vulnerable field cascading around him in the air; soft, pliant, and gentle.

"You're right. This is my fault." Starscream silently reached for Shockwave's bound servo. He intertwined their fingers, slowly clasping and then squeezing gently. His other servo come up to the side of Shockwave's helm and gently stroked it.

Shockwave was surprised when he was calmed by it.

He closed his optic and stood there, accepting the gentle touch of this beautiful creature before him.

It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical that Starscream would want to touch Shockwave like this, but Starscream always seemed to defy logic with his every breath.

Shockwave stepped backward, deeper into the cell, and softly pulled Starscream with him to settle to a seat on a bench. “This is not your fault,” he said gently. “And I don’t want you to think I am not grateful for saving my life… but the help you acquired was less than ideal.”

Starscream must have heard the amusement in his voice and smiled. “I was sadly fresh out of helpful Decepticons nearby,” he replied wryly.

Starscream pressed into his side, leaning against him on the bench. Despite having been near him plenty of times before, something about this moment made Shockwave’s tanks clench. Starscream was a ball of fluttering warmth on his side, and Shockwave looked at their entwined fingers, trying to comprehend what it meant.

“This does make things difficult,” Shockwave said. “If they don’t disable the alarms, Megatron will be alerted.”

“And will come here.”

Shockwave nodded slowly, turning his helm so that he could glance at Starscream. He was looking down at the ground, pensive with his wings low. “We wanted to avoid that if we could.”

Starscream shivered slightly. “What will happen if he comes?”

“I’m not completely certain,” Shockwave said. “But I think that his intentions are not in your best interest.”

Starscream nodded. “I thought you were loyal to him,” he said, rubbing his thumb in small circles on the back of Shockwave’s servo. “I thought you might deliver me to him if he asked.”

Shockwave tensed, squeezing Starscream’s servo. “I- I am conflicted,” he started. “Some say I am the most loyal to Lord Megatron as he left Cybertron in my care while he chased after the Prime. The truth is that Lord Megatron is the most logical candidate for leadership, so I follow him. But he also believes he could easily take back the planet from me should I betray him, so he gives me a lot of power.”

Shockwave let his field flare out in a soft caress, as he could do nothing more to pour his sincerity into his words. “But I am dedicated to you as well. I would not betray you.”

Starscream leaned his helm down on Shockwave’s shoulder. “I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.”

Shockwave made a humming noise. “Starscream,” he said gently. “I seem to have… affection for you, but you have to understand that I do not perceive emotions the same way you do. I wonder if you will be disappointed.”

Starscream gave him a look that Shockwave couldn’t reasonably interpret, but it was similar enough to fondness that his spark warmed.

“I’m not disappointed,” Starscream replied. “Not in any way.”

Shockwave cast his gaze to the floor.

“It is logical to keep you away from Megatron because I do not think… he is behaving rationally,” Shockwave said. His optic still smarted from the repair after Megatron’s outburst.

He worried for Starscream to be in such close proximity to that raw rage.

“Wouldn’t it be logical for you to stay out of it? I offer nothing to the cause,” Starscream murmured. “What will happen to you when he arrives here and finds I’ve been here for some time?”

Shockwave admitted to himself that his logic was flawed, and it was flawed because emotion was seeping into his processor. “He will be displeased with me,” was all Shockwave could say.

“I don’t like what that means. I put a lot of effort into saving you,” Starscream said quietly. “I’d like to make good on my investment.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

Starscream lifted his helm off of Shockwave’s shoulder and looked at him. Shockwave saw determination etched in Starscream’s face when their gaze met, even if his optics looked unsure. Starscream leaned forward, his frame burning against Shockwave, and pressed his lips to the side of Shockwave’s helm in a gentle kiss.

Shockwave’s spark clenched.

It was almost painful the amount of emotion that flared inside him. It made him itch to hold Starscream close, envelope him in his field, protect him, whisper sweet things to him into the night. It also hurt in a sad way, which made Shockwave want to push Starscream away and hurt him so that he would pay less attention to Shockwave and move on.

Starscream pulled back; his optics closed for another second before opening them slowly. “I can feel you having a crisis,” Starscream murmured, his smile beaming. “It’s just a kiss.”

That made Shockwave huff his vents in an aborted laugh. “You give kisses out so freely?”

“To the deserving,” he replied with a shrug. “Shall I do it again?”

“What would Skywarp think?” Shockwave asked before he could stop himself.

Starscream smiled wider. “He would try and steal the kiss for himself because he’s needy,” he replied, stroking down Shockwave’s arm. “But he would have no say in what I do. As dedicated as I am to them, we are not exclusive.”

Shockwave had almost hoped that Starscream would be dissuaded from continuing his affection upon being reminded of his trine. It might be easier if he wasn’t interested in Shockwave because Shockwave had no idea what he was doing.

Shockwave realized he was expected to reply and turned back to Starscream. “I told you before that I do not experience the world the same way other mechs do.”

“You did tell me that. And, I don’t know if you know this Shockwave, but… neither do I.”

Shockwave inclined his helm in acknowledgment, his spark warm in his chest. “You will have to be very clear with me about what you want or need. I am not experienced in these matters.”

“I am quite good at voicing my opinion,” Starscream replied. “Especially now that the program is not tamping down the intensity of my feelings.”

Shockwave nodded. “They may overwhelm you on occasion.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Starscream replied flatly. “Not a big fan of fear or terror, but I like being able to get angry.”

“I can try and help you handle your emotions logically and rationally.”

Starscream huffed a small laugh and nuzzled into his side. “I look forward to that.” Starscream’s smile seemed to fade, and he sighed. “Shockwave, maybe we should disable the alarms so that Megatron and the other Decepticons don’t come to the base.”

“That would be helping the Autobots.”

Starscream sighed again. “Yes, it would. It would also help us. Or me, rather.”

Shockwave slowly blinked his optic. “Are you seducing me to help the Autobots?”

The reaction was immediate. Starscream spun in his seat, affront, and offense present in his field. His face was shocked and a little sad.

“I- No. No, Shockwave. I would not do that to you. This is important to me, and you have to understand that I'm not leading you on.” He softened but then smirked lightly. “But I am seducing you, right? Is it working?”

Shockwave huffed his vents. “Please focus.”

Starscream’s lips quirked into a smug grin. “In this case, it may be that our wishes align with the Autobots. I don’t hate the Autobots like you all do- I’ll be transparent with you and tell you that I just want to end the war. If Megatron comes here, he will likely find me, and I’ll have less agency again. I’m sure we can develop a cover story to absolve you of blame, but he will likely take me with him.”

Shockwave tensed, even though he tried to hide it. Starscream noticed, though, and he gently rubbed circles into his servo's back again.

Shockwave hadn’t had so much physical contact with someone in millennia. He was alone most of the time in his quiet base, wondering how things were going on Earth and how the other Decepticons were getting along. He tried to tell himself he was above it, that close, personal contact was needed or even desired. He didn’t realize he had missed feeling friendly fields nearby or the occasional brush of plating as someone stepped past him.

It was so much more when the touch was accompanied by someone who cared.

It still didn’t quite compute for Shockwave why Starscream, of all mechs, was willing to give him affection, but he wasn’t going to question it anymore. He also wasn’t going to deny that he had affection for Starscream in return.

He lifted his bound servos above his helm and looped them around Starscream’s shoulders, pulling him close against his frame. “I will not allow that to happen. He will not take you.”

Starscream gave him a soft look and pressed his nose against Shockwave’s neck, breathing him in. “Then I’m afraid we will have to play nice with Elita.”

Shockwave huffed his vents, not pleased by the prospect but seeing the plan's logic.

His arms sagged, exhaustion running over him. “I’m transferring you the codes. They seem to trust you more than they do me; I also trust you more. But please be careful interacting with them; they will try to manipulate you. Just remember that you hold all the power with these codes.”

Starscream nodded. “Lucky me.” He traced a digit down the front of Shockwave’s chest and Shockwave had to stifle a shiver. “Thank you for trusting me, Shockwave.”

Shockwave nodded, closing his optic. He wanted to stay awake, but he was cascading into recharge faster than normal.

“Shockwave, lay down. Rest.”

Shockwave didn’t want to comply but found it easy to let Starscream guide him to lay down onto the bench. Starscream might not realize the sheer amount of warm affection he was pushing into his field, but it practically wrapped around Shockwave like a soft blanket and hastened him to recharge.

Notes:

Okay so I feel like I have trained you to look very carefully at how I craft/word things, and if you feel like Starscream is not genuine here, that's my bad. I'm trying to make him genuine and there is no nefarious plot where he is using Shockwave. I kept reading it and trying to make that clear but I'm not sure it worked and I don't know how to make it more clear without just writing more and showing you as we go forward.

Shockwave POV why lol god damn he's hard lol

<3 as usual, I love hearing from you all just to talk at me about what is happening and what you THINK is going to happen, it brings me immense joy.

Chapter 38: How Enthralling

Elita came back to the brig a little while later. She was greeted by Starscream’s alert and watchful optics as he sat on the floor in front of Shockwave’s recharging form. It almost looked like he was trying to shield Shockwave from the door with his wings.

Even though there would be nothing he could do to stop her.

That thought sobered her a little. She swallowed and stepped towards the bars, unlocking the door.

Starscream got up and gave one final look to Shockwave. He gently swept his digits across the back of Shockwave’s servo and then turned to leave, his wings twitching.

“He won’t be harmed?” Starscream asked quietly.

“No. Not unless he starts it first.”

Starscream didn’t seem entirely calmed by that statement, likely because he knew Shockwave pretty well. It was probably not off the list of possibilities.

Starscream followed her into the hall, folding his arms across his cockpit. His gaze was cast down as they walked. He was so quiet on this side of his pacification.

“He looked happy,” she observed.

Starscream looked up at her and cracked a slight smile. “He should be.”

Despite everything, Elita smiled back. It was easy to like this mech now.

That could be a problem.

“Did he give you the codes?” she asked, trying to keep her smile the same.

Starscream watched her carefully but then nodded. “It took some convincing, but we both agreed that keeping Megatron away from here as long as possible is ideal.  But I’m hoping you will let me negotiate for what we get in return.”

Elita arched an optic ridge. “Shockwave gets to keep his life. We will leave the base. I’m already being far too generous with those two items according to my army- I don’t think negotiating further is necessary.”

“I recognize your position,” Starscream replied, dipping his helm. “You have many people to please. I know what that is like.” He swallowed, and his wings twitched again. “But the terms are not to my liking, so I would like to change them.”

Bold and daring, she thought. It was interesting to see a Starscream without the overwhelming arrogance she had always seen in him, but he was starting to develop it. She stopped walking and turned to face him with her field lashing in annoyance. “I’m not sure I even want to entertain them,” she murmured.

Starscream’s optics had gone wide, and his servos had come up in front of him as if to try and ward her off. “T-then should I get the energon out? We will have guests shortly,” he replied, swallowing.

She stared down at him as he was almost cowering, and suddenly her tanks twisted. Elita stepped back from him, giving him his space back. “Apologies,” she said. “Some things are hard to unlearn.”

Starscream stared back at her and then took a deep breath, releasing all the tension from his frame. “That’s alright. You are not the first bot to corner me in a hallway,” he said with a smile. He traced his bottom lip with his glossa and gave her a side-glance. “Suppose we could find an arrangement that would please us both?”

“I could just reread your memories,” Elita replied, her threat only half-serious.

Starscream didn’t even flinch. “You could do that. But you won’t.”

Elita wrinkled her nose and turned to start walking down the hallway again. She heard Starscream scramble to get back in step with her. “I’m not asking for much,” he said. “I need to guarantee Shockwave’s safety, my safety, and the base needs to stay relatively intact. You can stay here for three days, but then after that, you will leave.” 

Elita didn’t mind any of that, though her scowl still didn’t leave her face as she stared ahead down the hallway.

“And you can’t take any of the stockpiled weapons here with you.”

“What?” she said incredulously. “Of course we are taking them with us! Better with us than still in his servos.”

Starscream nodded placatingly. “I know, I understand- this is my own stipulation, not Shockwave’s. You can’t take them, but you can destroy them.”

Elita stopped walking and turned to look at him. “You want us to destroy Shockwave’s weapon stockpile?” She looked him up and down. “Why?”

Starscream stopped in his tracks, still wary of her like she was a wild mechanimal. Her optics softened, and she pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stave off the helmache brewing there from all of these developments today. Elita was more than done with it all, and the last person she wanted to be bullying was this broken Starscream.

“I don’t want those weapons used on anyone,” he said quietly. “I just want this all to stop.”

Elita looked back at him, some sympathy flowing into her field. “I can understand why.”

“It’s not just about me and my situation,” he said vehemently. “It’s also about those that I care about and even those that have wronged me.” He took a deep breath and shook out his wings to calm himself. “Everyone calls me naïve, and I am. I’m relatively the youngest Cybertronian right now, and you all have been in this for a lot longer than I have. But I think that also offers me a fresh perspective. I just want everyone to try and bring this war to an end.”

Elita pitied the mech. She really did. “You don’t think we’ve tried?”

“I think you stopped trying,” Starscream replied. “Because you were tired, and the timing wasn’t right. But now it is. I know we have a chance to end this now, and I think we can do it peacefully.”

Despite the idealist nonsense he was saying, Elita found herself imagining what it would be like to have everything be over. She knew they were running out of time- Optimus’s actions were a symptom of everyone being ground down into dust by the constant fighting. 

She sighed. "Fine then. Now, will you give me the codes?”

Starscream smirked. “I’ll input them for you. Just so you have a reason to keep me around.”

Elita frowned but swept out her servo, asking him to continue down the hallway. “We’re not nearly that cut-throat.”

Starscream looked over his shoulder at her. “No, I don’t think you are. But I still like reminding you that I'm a bot with a value other than being a pretty face."

Elita couldn't help it; she snorted. "I was under the impression that pacification humbled you."

"No such luck, I'm afraid," he said with a mock sigh. "Shockwave helped me with some of the more unpleasant aspects of my coding. Now I'm free to be as arrogant as I please."

Elita had reached the central control room, and the door snicked open. She pointed to a console where Chromia and Firestar were waiting. "Input the codes there."

Starscream hesitated. "But then you agree to my terms? All of them?"

Elita grimaced and then rolled her optics. "Yes, I suppose."

Starscream's face lit up in unmistakable joy. He smiled happily and walked over to the console, earning surprised looks from Chromia and Firestar.

Something was tight in Elita's chest. It was hard to look at him without being reminded of what Optimus had done.

Did he deserve to know? And would the knowledge of how he had come to his situation do him more harm than good?

"The code has been entered," Starscream said pleasantly. "I'll need to do it again in 12 hours."

Elita nodded. "Good. Before I send you back, there is something else I'd like to discuss." 

Starscream knit his brow in concern. "Oh?"

"Yes," Elita said, smiling with a glint in her optic. "Do you like your high grade mixed or straight?"

She pulled out a bottle of fine high grade, and Firestar predictably whooped.

Chromia predictably scowled.

But Starscream just smiled. "Straight would be more than welcomed."

 

---

 

"Lord Megatron: Autobot activity detected."

Megatron pulled himself from his thoughts, his optics narrowing on his new second-in-command. “What kind of activity?”

Soundwave typed away at the console and then sent a data packet to Megatron through comms. Megatron appreciated the efficiency, but it had taken him some time to trust what Soundwave sent him without trying to interpret it like he used to with Starscream.

“Autobots: Preparing to take and use the spacebridge.”

Megatron bit the inside of his cheek in thought. “Why would they possibly want to do with that?” he murmured. Cybertron belonged to him, and everything on it was under his control. Optimus probably wasn’t planning just a vacation to their home planet.

“Related: Autobots received a call from Darkmount base."

"Oh? That's odd."

Soundwave nodded. "It was clear it was Elita-1 on the call before encryption locked Soundwave out.”

Megatron watched as the recorded call played out in his optical feed, narrowing his optics. He almost laughed when it was obvious that the Prime switched to deeper encryption after Elita's question. Have something to hide even from the rest of your faction, do you?  “Have we heard from Shockwave?”

“Negative, Lord Megatron. But the alarm codes were just entered a little while ago.”

Megatron leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing on his lips. “I would like my Air Commander to lead a strike on the Autobot’s base as soon as you see Prime has gone through the spacebridge. Consider it a rescue mission for our dear broken Lieutenant.”

Soundwave hesitated a moment. “Even though Lord Megatron knows he is not there.”

Megatron drummed his digits on the arm of his throne. “It keeps them busy and occupied while we take a force to Cybertron to check on dear Shockwave. I have a feeling that something interesting is happening at Darkmount, and I would like to see it for myself.”

Soundwave inclined his helm but hesitated one more time.

Megatron exvented harshly, waving his servo in the air. “Speak, Soundwave.”

“Why does Lord Megatron want Starscream back at all? Or even the pretense?”

Megatron grinned into the low light of the room. “I’ve had some time to think over my perspective on certain things,” he said. “The Prime has been particularly annoying and self-righteous of late, and despite him lacking a combiner, we have not made any more progress in this war. I wonder if that would be a more suitable option to control him.”

Soundwave seemed a little shocked but was completely silent.

Megatron’s mouth twitched, and he shrugged. “It might not be possible to take him down otherwise. Shockwave did not seem taken by the idea, despite my… convincing. But maybe things will have changed if Shockwave needs rescuing from Elita’s group. He is the only one capable of reverse-engineering the coding we need from Starscream to achieve this goal.”

Soundwave stared for another moment. “What… changed, Lord Megatron?”

It was a fair question. Right after Starscream was pacified, Megatron had been overcome with anger that the Autobots would even dare touch the coding of his subordinates in this fashion, especially of such a permanent nature. Starscream was annoying, but he had his uses, most of which were now gone. He had publicly decried the Prime and his behavior against Starscream, but upon further reflection, Megatron was just angry that he hadn’t thought of it first.

And when the Prime had attacked their base directly, he had crossed the line.

How enthralling would it be to gaze at someone shattered by their own mistakes, suffering, and flailing? Someone broken and unable to control themselves, at Megatron’s every mercy or whim?

“The only thing that has changed is my dedication to ending this war once and for all, Soundwave. Prepare our raiding party for Cybertron and the airstrike on the Autobot base. Keep the teams separate and siloed.”

Soundwave said nothing but nodded in receipt of the command, and began to work.

Megatron guessed that most of the pieces he needed for his plan were either sitting on Cybertron or en route. 

The war could be over in a matter of days.

 

Chapter 39: Cybergoose Chase

Thundercracker checked his null rays for charge and battle effectiveness, but his mind was elsewhere. He caught himself going over every single one of Soundwave’s orders as if the monotone voice could reveal something to him as to what was really happening- if anything at all was not as it seemed. He opened a panel in his arm to check the wire connections and, upon finding them satisfactory, closed the panel with a snap.

“Do you think they know something?” Ramjet whispered to him.

“Know what,” Thundercracker replied with a sharp look.

Ramjet swallowed. “Something… we know but that they don’t, maybe?” he said finally.

Thundercracker grimaced, finding himself more irritable than usual since sending Starscream through the space bridge to Cybertron. His usual wealth of patience was in short supply these days, and he had to forcibly control himself from snapping at every mech who tested him, even if it was unintentional.

“Probably, Ramjet,” Thundercracker said with a sigh.

Ramjet invented and just nodded, perhaps not wanting to irritate him more. “I’m sure he’s fine,” Ramjet said quietly.

Thundercracker didn’t like the subject of the conversation but appreciated the sentiment.

Skywarp appeared with a vwop, a frown on his face. “There’s a big chunk of heavy weaponry missing.”

“What do you mean?” Thundercracker asked.

“I mean, someone raided the stores before we could get to them. So either there was a theft, Swindle stole a bunch of them again to sell, or there is another operation happening that we aren’t aware of.”

Alarms went off in Thundercracker’s helm. “Anyone missing yet?”

“No,” Skywarp said. “Why do I get the feeling we’re being sent on a wild cybergoose chase?”

Thundercracker’s spark sank. Unfortunately, Skywarp was probably right. This was likely not what it appeared to be.

“Who can we trust on our team?”

Ramjet’s lips formed a tight line. “My trine will follow me. They are giving us the Stunticons too, but I wouldn’t trust them.”

Thundercracker furrowed his brow and cursed softly. “We are being sent on a distraction.”

“Well, we already knew that, didn’t we?”

“Yes, but I didn’t realize Megatron also knew it was a distraction. As in he knows more than he should.”

“Did something go wrong on Cybertron?” Skywarp asked worriedly.

Thundercracker clenched his denta. It was very likely that’s where the other team was heading, despite their best efforts to hide Starscream there. Why couldn’t they do anything right? Starscream should have been safe!

And given this little game of sending them on another mission that didn’t mean anything, it meant that Megatron didn’t trust them, especially with whatever he had planned.

Starscream was in danger.

“Alright. We get airborne. Ramjet- you lead your trine and the Stunticons to the far side of the Autobot base. We will be delayed joining you, but just assume we are on the other side- lie that you got a comm from us if you have to. Wait until we ping you.”

Ramjet furrowed his brow. “And where will you be while we are stalling for you?”

Thundercracker gave him a significant look. “Don’t worry about it. Just buying us some time.”

Ramjet huffed and then left, yelling to get his team's attention.

Skywarp leaned towards Thundercracker. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to see a shuttle about a jet,” Thundercracker drawled.

 

---

 

Starscream settled in with his strange drinking partners in a little-used receiving room with a decent couch and a set of chairs. Shockwave was so utilitarian that he said he would have gotten rid of them had Megatron and the former Starscream not complained to him that they needed a comfortable place to sit.

High grade was poured and distributed, and Starscream took a sip, enjoying the taste. Firestar drank a big gulp, grinning. “I haven’t had anything this good in ages!”

Chromia gave a contented sigh. “Where did you find this, ‘Lita?”

“My secret,” she said with a wink. “But there was plenty more where this came from.”

“Megatron’s secret stash in the command room, was it?” Starscream asked, smirking. “I found it my first few days here too. Please, take as much as you want.”

“Funny,” Chromia said. “I think that is something your old self would have said as well.”

“I do occasionally sound like him,” Starscream snarked, taking a deep sip. A pleasant buzz filtered over his processor, and his tongue tingled a little at the taste. This was excellent high grade.

Firestar finished her cube and then gave Starscream a significant look. “Catch up, seeker.”

Starscream snorted and followed suit, drinking his fill. “Far be it from me to back down from such a gentle challenge,” he rasped.

Firestar grinned and poured them more high grade. “I’ve always wanted to drink a Decepticon under the table.” Chromia snorted, and Elita laughed lightly.

Starscream grinned back. “We’ll see about that.”

 

---

 

Optimus and a covert team, including Mirage, Jazz, Hound, and Ironhide, snuck onto the island where the space bridge was located. They crept along the sides, escaping detection and silently approaching the mechs guarding the entrance.

Just two. Which was expected, Optimus thought, but relatively light nonetheless.

Something like dread settled into his tanks, and Optimus was not a fool to ignore that feeling when it came along. It had served him well over the years, and usually it meant that something wasn’t quite right.

::Jazz, do you see any traps?:: he asked over comms.

Jazz narrowed his optics and did a sweep around, padding softly as he checked the perimeter. ::Nothing coming up. Why?::

Optimus frowned. He wasn’t sure what was causing his feeling then, so he would just have to be on guard for his mechs as they moved forward.

::Stay on your guard. Commence with taking out the guards::

 

---

 

Skyfire blinked. “Why would Megatron send you on a cybergoose chase?”

Thundercracker and Skywarp exchanged glances before Skywarp chose to speak. “He wants us distracted. Probably because he knows we wouldn’t like what he had planned.”

Skyfire’s exvented harshly, looking away. He tried to think quickly. “Shockwave said something to me that I didn’t quite understand at the time. He said that Megatron was ‘going too far with his applications of Starscream’s condition.’ I thought he meant he wanted to use Starscream for something because Starscream couldn’t say no,” he replied, frowning. “Now I’m wondering if it’s just as bad as that, just… different.”

Skywarp furrowed his brow. “I don’t know what that means.”

“What do we do about it?” Thundercracker asked, ignoring Skywarp.

Skyfire folded his arms across his chest. “You need to get to Cybertron.”

Skywarp was biting the inside of his cheek. “You think it’s that bad?”

“I- I have always had my suspicions that Starscream’s condition was less of an accident than it appeared to be. That’s another reason I got all of the flight frames out of there- Optimus could easily have gone too far with any of us. Megatron… is the same in that regard. If you are saying he has something planned you won’t like, then I guarantee it involves Starscream and pacification.”

Thundercracker cursed quietly, his wings flaring. “Alright, we’ll go to Cybertron. But we’ve got the Stunticons at the Ark who will absolutely tattle if we don’t show up soon.”

“I’ll take care of that,” Skyfire said, smirking.

 

---

 

Elita grinned after taking another swig. It was slightly amusing to see Starscream groggily attempt to get up from the couch.

It was some welcome levity to a slag situation.

"You can't keep me here, Autobots!" Starscream slurred jokingly, trying to stand. He said some strange, presumably human curses when he failed to get his legs under him. "Or perhaps you can," he said with surprise.

"You drank too much," Firestar said. She hid a smile behind her servo as she caught him and tried to right him on his seat.

“I think I’m a lightweight now. I’m not sure I like the feeling,” he whispered to her like it was a secret. “Makes me feel all dull like I did before.”

“Before?” Firestar asked, gently lifting his leg to get back on the couch.

“Yes, before Shockwave helped me. I would get mad, and the program would forcibly calm me down. Make me docile and want to please everyone. It was maddening,” he huffed. “The old Starscream said he would have hated it.”

Elita squinted at that. “How do you know what the old Starscream would have hated?”

“I met him!” Starscream declared brightly. “Or kind of met him. In a video. A kind of letter he left for me with Skyfire. You must have glided right over that memory,” he said, making a flying motion with his servo. “Hey, can I go flying? I miss flying.”

“Soon,” Elita said, smiling. “You gave him a lot of high grade, Firestar.”

“Yeah, sorry,” she replied, laughing a little. “I realized too late, but he didn’t complain.”

“I met some lovely broken wing seekers,” Starscream supplied, following his own train of thought.

Chromia looked like she was about to ask more about the Broken Wing, but Elita cut her off. “Tell me more about the video. What did Starscream want to tell you?”

The new Starscream tapped his chin in thought. “Uhm,” he replied, clearly about to lie. “Nothing much, really. He did say he was sorry about what he left me with.”

Elita wanted to press but decided to let Starscream keep his secrets if he wanted. “Are your wounds healing well?”

Starscream experimentally twitched his wings and then examined his arm. “Seems good to me!” he replied happily. “Greenlight is an excellent medic. I like her a little more than Ratchet but not as much as Hook.”

“Hook is that great, is he?” Chromia asked, rolling her optics.

“He was the first person I saw when I woke up,” Starscream replied. “And he felt bad when the Combaticons tried to hurt me.”

Elita frowned. Starscream was so terribly open and he was honestly sweet. He was annoyingly growing on her, and she knew that she would end up liking him a lot more if she kept letting him talk.

It made her conversation with Optimus all the more… distressing.

“Starscream,” Elita asked gently, sitting straighter in her chair. “What is it you want?”

Starscream tilted his helm to the side as he heard her question and then looked like he was considering his words hard. Elita had a slight smile on her face at his antics.

“I want this stupid war to be over,” he said thoughtfully. “And I wish Shockwave could kiss me.”

Chromia snorted, spitting her energon, and covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing too loudly.

“What?” Starscream said, smiling. “Don’t tell me you want to as well?”

“No, no, no, that honor can be all yours,” Chromia said, putting her servos up in surrender.

“Shockwave,” Elita repeated. “I can’t say that I see the appeal.”

“I think everyone thinks that when I tell them,” Starscream said, picking at the couch. “But that’s fine. I don’t really want to share him.”

Elita frowned a little. “Starscream, are you sure he’s a mech you want to saddle yourself with? We’ve been fighting him for years, and he’s… got a dark part of him. I’m worried that he’s using you.”

“Using me for what,” Starscream said exasperatedly. “I can’t fight, I don’t know anything, I’ve got this weird coding that has to be checked on all the time to make sure it’s behaving and not evolving- I have literally nothing of worth to use.”

Elita gave Chromia a side-glance, noticing that her usually gruff second-in-command was looking down at the ground with a sad look on her face. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“Listen,” Starscream said, likely noticing how quiet the room became. “I get it. You are Autobots, and he’s a Decepticon- but I’ve met great Decepticons and not-great Autobots. You all aren’t as different as you think. There are plenty of Decepticons that just want to end the war to live their lives just like you do.”

Elita was a little surprised by the clarity of his voice, despite his drinking.

“Could it be he’s just using you because you’re pretty?” Chromia asked quietly.

Starscream sagged a little in his seat. “Is that the only worth I have now?”

Elita sighed. “No. No one finds their purpose and worth immediately, Starscream. You are just dealing with the space left behind by your old self.”

Starscream leaned his helm back on the couch, looking at the ceiling. Elita bit the inside of her cheek. “I wish this war could be over as well,” she added. “But Megatron cannot be easily swayed.”

Starscream frowned. “I don’t understand him,” he said, putting his servo on his face. “I have never interacted with him much, but there was all this… tension about being around him. Like my frame remembers- and he never hurt me! I have no reason to fear him except what has been implied to me.”

“He’s become unhinged,” Elita said, quoting Optimus from before.

“I think everyone has a little,” Starscream murmured. He slowly stood up, more sober than he had appeared a few minutes before. “I’m going to recharge. Can someone let me into the cell?”

Chromia rolled her optics. “You’re going to recharge with Shockwave? We can get you your own room.”

Starscream smirked. “He’s big and warm, and I like him. Don’t be jealous, Chromia.”

“I’m not,” she spat in reply, rising up from her seat. “You can have him.”

“Oh, I already have him,” he said, grinning.

Chromia rolled her optics. “Come on, lovermechling,” she growled. “I’ll take you to your boyfriend.”

Starscream’s wings twitched with mirth, and he stepped out into the hallway but then stopped abruptly. His wings sank behind his back as he turned his helm down the hall, staring at something that Elita couldn’t see.

“Is someone there?”

Elita’s tanks froze as she slowly rose to her pedes, as she was fairly sure she knew what it was.

Starscream squinted down the hallway, his wings rising slowly in confusion and alarm. Chromia filtered in behind him, and her jaw dropped a little, looking back at Elita.

“Why… why is Optimus Prime in the base?” Starscream rasped.

Notes:

Things are picking up! The end is getting closer and I'm excited to share with you what I have planned! Please bear with me over the next few weeks as some updates might slow down in preparation for SkyStar week, the Big Bang, a zine, and some commissions- but we're getting there!

Chapter 40: Lost the Chance to Impress

Starscream's tanks froze as he stared at the faint blue light of Optimus Prime's optics down the hallway.

He was a little tipsy, but he could not reconcile what he was seeing. How did Optimus Prime get on the base? What did he want? Why was he here? Did he come for Starscream? Did he change his mind yet again and decide to meddle in Starscream’s life?

"Heya 'Screamer," came Jazz's voice from beside him.

Starscream startled, nearly falling backward. His balance was off from his drinking, and he almost listed right into the wall. Jazz's servo shot out to grab him and steady him.

Starscream stiffened as he felt the program engage, making him unable to pull away.

"Relax, wings," Jazz said gently. "We aren't here to hurt you."

"I always wind up hurt anyway," Starscream mumbled. "Please let go of me."

Jazz removed his servo, putting it up in the air apparently to show he meant no harm. "Right. Sorry," he said.

Elita emerged from the lounge from behind him, and Starscream turned to look at her. She didn't meet his gaze, instead looking down at Optimus with a soft look.

Starscream recognized that look, which was novel. He usually had trouble understanding the emotions running across mech's faces just because he lacked the experience to know what they meant, but right now he knew what she was feeling. He had felt the same way back when he was reunited with Thundercracker and Skywarp.

He still felt terribly betrayed.

Bitterness flowed into his spark. It was clear he had been taken advantage of; used to disable the alert beacon, and in return, Elita had called Optimus Prime to the base. Starscream was astounded- he had thought he could trust her.

He was quickly learning that trust should be a very tightly held resource.

He shivered. "Put me back in the cell. I'm done with all of you."

A look of guilt flashed across her face before she finally met his gaze. "This isn't quite what it looks like," she started.

"Oh? Good," he said flatly. "Because it looks like you took advantage of me just like everyone else."

She didn't wince, but her gaze softened slightly. "This is a positive development for all of us. I will prove it to you," she said gently.

Optimus Prime had started to walk down the hallway, flanked by a few other Autobots from Earth. “Starscream, we mean you no harm.”

“You keep saying that,” he ground out. “The Autobots have run out of chances to impress me that they tell the truth.”

Optimus looked slightly chastised, which almost made Starscream laugh hysterically. He only just caught the giggle in time from bubbling out of his chest. He was still tipsy for sure, but the situation was also absurd. 

“I need to discuss some things with Optimus,” Elita said. “Then I hope we can talk more.”

Starscream shrugged. “What choice do I have?”

This time she did wince. Good.

“I… I’ll take you back,” Chromia said gently at his back. Starscream flicked his wings in acknowledgment and turned his back on all the Autobots and their mournful faces.

“Fuck,” he said under his breath as Chromia led him away.

 

---

 

Ramjet arrived at the preordained meeting place with his trine, just outside the Autobot base. He didn’t know what Thundercracker and Skywarp were, and he still hadn’t received a ping. At this point, the Stunticons were getting antsy and were requesting constant updates.

Questions about Thundercracker and Skywarp started to flood in as well.

He got a worried look from Dirge and Thrust, not knowing the full story, but knowing enough that Ramjet might be about to get them into deep slag.

“Frag,” he said under his breath, preparing the lie he’d rehearsed a couple of times in his helm on the way over here. Ramjet was pretty good at lying, just like the rest of the Decepticons, but that also meant they were pretty good at sniffing out lies among each other. Only the old Starscream managed to get away almost every time with a falsehood.

If the Stunticons figured out he was covering for the black and blue seekers, they would tell Megatron or Soundwave, and then they would all be slagged.

Ramjet gave an apologetic look to his trinemates.

He opened the comm and prepared to send the comm when a loud, raucous BOOM resounded across the valley they were hiding in around the Ark. Ramjet lost his balance and fell against Dirge, who held him and steadied him even as the ground was shaking.

He had forgotten how strong his trinemate was, and his face heated slightly.

Ramjet had been so distracted he had missed the giant that was Superion had just appeared in front of the Stunticons and was taunting them with a rude gesture.

He snorted and slapped his forehead. That damned elite trine was crazy.

And, apparently, good to be friends with.

 

---

 

Starscream’s mind was racing as he and Chromia walked down the hallway.

Shockwave had trusted him and his judgment, and it had spectacularly backfired. There was no way they were going to be able to hide that the Prime and high-ranking Autobots were here, meeting up with Elita’s crew. And like hell he was going to input the code in for them again- he was not going to help Optimus with anything he wanted or needed moving forward. At this point, if Megatron showed up, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world because at least the Autobots would be routed from the base!

But then what would happen?

His wings sagged on his back. Whatever Megatron wanted for him could not be good- enough people had warned him of that much. But what did that even mean? Why did everyone step carefully around what Megatron was like and allude to the fact that Starscream would not like it?

Had Megatron… hurt him? He had been told in not so many words that Megatron could not be trusted, but that Megatron had pledged to protect him. Ramjet had said once upon a time that Megatron knew his old self the best out of everyone, but Mirage had hinted that Starscream was traitorous.

He was so confused. Things were not clicking together, and it frustrated him- like a word that was on the tip of his glossa or a sensation his frame remembered but he did not.

Like… right now. His frame was on high alert, every strut and line and sensor were primed and ready to burst into action. Starscream didn’t understand; there was no danger- he was with Chromia. She was a little abrasive but not really an active danger to him-

He heard a loud bellow behind them down the hallway they had just come from.

Chromia stopped, her entire frame going rigid. She pulled out a weapon from subspace and glanced at Starscream.

“I thought you deactivated the alarm?” she asked.

Starscream didn’t understand the question. “I-I did,” he said, backing up. His frame was screaming at him to run. A battle program kept trying to activate on his HUD, but every time, he could feel the pacification program activate and forcibly shut it down. He had quickly sobered from the tense situation but was left with a pounding, dull helmache and a rising sense of fear.

“Then explain to me why Megatron is on the base?” she growled, pulling up her weapon and training it at Starscream’s face.

Starscream put his servos up. “I- was that him? I don’t know why he’s here, but it’s not because I called him! I want to stay away from him!”

Chromia didn’t believe him, clearly. She scoffed and took a step forward. “I knew there was no way all those things Elita said about you could be true. You must be faking it somehow.”

Familiar with this song and dance, Starscream rolled his optics despite the gun in his face. That was also surprisingly something familiar, and he was honestly over it. “Frag it, Chromia, put that away. I don’t have a weapon, I didn’t call Megatron here, and I’m not faking it.”

Her optics narrowed, but she still lowered her gun. “I’m still not buying it-”

Another roar from down the hallway, significantly closer, made them both startle. “Are there not at least ten Autobots back there? How is he getting through all of you?!” he cried.

Chromia gave him an incredulous look and then sighed exasperatedly. She turned around and started running towards the sounds of fighting. “Get out of here, I guess!” she called over her shoulder.

Starscream stood there in the hallway for a moment, poleaxed. What should he do? The base was crawling with Autobots and now potentially unfriendly Decepticons. No one was really on his side.

Except for Shockwave.

He swallowed hard and forced his legs to start walking.

Chapter 41: That's New

Notes:

Long time, no update!~

Have a lot going on IRL so I've slowed down on a lot of things, so please bear with me as I update a lot slower than I used to- but not abandoned, promise.

I love the comments about how you love the fic so far- thank you for fueling me- and I love hearing from people still discovering it and binging it all in one go.

This chapter dials things up a notch.

Coming through the space bridge when they knew they weren't supposed to probably wasn't the most brilliant move Thundercracker and Skywarp had done in recent memory.

But things had been pretty stupid lately, in their opinion. Skywarp certainly thought so.

When they finally rematerialized in the tower that led down into the main room of the Cybertronian base, all Pit was breaking loose. Blaster fire strafed through the air, where yells and metal screeches rang out as a battle between a handful of Autobots and Decepticons was apparently already underway.

Skywarp and Thundercracker looked and immediately dove in, trying to avoid getting in a fight and make a break for the hallway.

Starscream wasn't in here, clearly. There were the Cybertronian Autobots led by Elita-1 fighting Astrotrain and Blitzwing, but there was no sign of Shockwave, Megatron, or Starscream in the central control room.

Even Skywarp could figure out that was concerning.

He ducked just as a hunk of metal sailed over his helm that might have once been Blitzwing's wing, and he gave a marginal wince of sympathy. That had to hurt. But they weren’t here to help fight the Autobots, as much as Skywarp’s null rays itched to get a few words in with any Autobot in the vicinity.

Thundercracker slid into the hallway, Skywarp managed to roll in right behind him, and they both started dashing as fast as they could.

"Should we split up?" Skywarp asked, jumping over some debris.

Thundercracker stopped only to check each room as they passed. "I’ll take this floor. You go ahead to the next one down. If you find him, comm me and then warp to me. We have to get him out of this and make our next move.”

“Yes sir, trineleader,” Skywarp said with a cheeky grin and a genuine salute. “I’ll get him to safety if you don’t find him first.”

“Take care of yourself, aft,” Thundercracker returned with a wry smile.

Skywarp grinned wider but kept running.

The base was a wreck, and Skywarp had to be careful not to trip, which was unfortunately not his forte. He wanted to warp ahead and avoid all the metal debris on the floor, but he didn’t want to accidentally skip over where Starscream might be hiding.

He hoped Starscream was hiding; he must have been scared out of his processor. Skywarp was going to find him and get him out of danger- it wasn’t going to be like the last time their base was invaded by Autobots. Skywarp would protect his trinemate this time, no matter what.

He rounded a corner, barely able to slow down and make the turn. He overshot, hitting the wall with a thud, but kept running. Even if the air was knocked out of his vents, he had to keep pressing forward and searching. It was not his most graceful maneuver, but he wasn’t in the air. If the hallway was just a little wider, he might have transformed and sped past all this stupid running.

On a whim, he sent comms to Starscream and Shockwave, unsurprised when both returned with an unconnected ping. That would have been too easy, probably.

He rounded another corner- how many corners were in this fragging hallway?- and almost ran into the back of Optimus fragging Prime.

“Whoa!” Skywarp shouted, warping ahead slightly to avoid colliding with him.

“Skywarp?” Prime called, his optics looking at him in confusion. “Where is-”

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope, no time for you!” Skywarp said, breaking into a run again. “I’m just here to get Starscream out of this mess- so don’t talk to me, don’t shoot me, don’t ask me a single thing because I’m not answering!” Skywarp called over his shoulder. He was proud of himself that he had essentially just told the Prime off, even though there might have been some other choice words he had for the Autobot leader. They involved some creative swears mixed with rude ways the Prime could go frag himself. But that could wait.

Skywarp kept running.

He heard Prime running after him, which was annoying, but he could do whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t suddenly learn how to warp ahead of Skywarp. He had enough of a lead that he wasn’t worried.

He went around yet another corner and was then throat-checked by an outstretched arm that looked suspiciously like Chromia’s. Skywarp fell down, pedes flipping out from underneath him, and he cracked the back of his helm on the ground with a loud THUD. He gasped for vents around his dented vocalizer as he stared up at the ceiling and then at the grim faces of Chromia and now Optimus Prime.

Frag it all.

 

---

 

Starscream moved down the hallway without actually registering where he was going. He generally knew the path to the brig, but it was almost as if he wasn't truly seeing the walls, floor, or doors that led to other rooms. The base filled with acrid smoke flowing in from the vents, telling him that the skirmish was heating up. The distant sounds of battle with concussive blasts were punctuated by screeching metal and muffled yelling that made the usually calm walls of the base shiver with violence.

Starscream repressed a flinch. He had hoped he had finally found a place free from this stupid war, but it seemed violence was bound to follow him. If he wasn't so used to it now, it might cause him to develop a complex.

"There you are."

Starscream froze at the sound of the gravelly, amused voice. He had been so lost in his thoughts he had missed the sound of approaching pedesteps behind him. The voice sent immediate, cold fear down the base of Starscream's spinal strut, but he still wasn't sure why, as it seemed utterly irrational.

He'd heard that voice many times; why was right now any different? Starscream turned slowly to face the newcomer and kept his face as neutral as possible.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," Megatron continued, walking down the hallway and out of a cloud of smoke. "How fortunate to find you here and safe."

Starscream did not trust the smile spread across Megatron's face, only because it didn't feel like a kind smile. It wasn't the delighted smile Skywarp had given him when they had first kissed in the dark or the sad smile Skyfire had given him when talking of ghosts and what could have been. This smile was at the same time foreign and achingly familiar, giving Starscream's unease a chance to bloom and fester in his spark.

"I only just arrived," Starscream lied. There was a strain to his voice that he couldn't hide. "Shockwave was about to tell you I was here, but then the Autobots attacked."

"I'm sure," Megatron purred, his voice dripping in darkness. His frame was marred with scorch marks from blaster fire, and he was sporting a few dents. His right servo had a little bit of energon on it. "What happened that led you here? Did the Autobots not treat you well?"

Starscream swallowed. "They tried their best, I think. I wasn't sure I'd be… welcome back at the Decepticon base after what I had done."

Megatron's optics glittered in the low light. "Let us worry about you apologizing later. Instead, let's get you back to our base where you belong. Where your trinemates are."

That… sounded like what he had wanted all along. To be with Thundercracker, Skywarp, and everyone he knew and loved to be safe and together. Shockwave would have to return to Earth for Starscream to be truly content, but he did ache for his trine all the same.

But why did the idea sound like a threat coming from Megatron's lips?

Starscream realized as Megatron moved closer that his frame's strange, heightened anxiety had everything to do with Megatron's distance from him. And also with Megatron in this kind of mood, whatever it was.

Starscream frantically searched the hallway for something to defend himself with- despite the whispers of relax and do not defend creeping into his processor. Starscream shivered and took a step back.

Megatron stopped in his tracks and stared at him. "What's wrong, Starscream? Don't you trust me?"

Starscream stared back. "I want to," he whispered quietly. "I heard you made promises to protect me."

Megatron's scary and dangerous expression faded slightly. "I did make that vow," he replied.

Starscream took another step back. "I feel like something changed then, my lord."

Megatron tracked him with his optics, his gaze piercing. Starscream had been frightened a few times in his short life, but right now, he could not swallow the pure abject terror squeezing his tanks with a vice grip. He was slightly dizzy, feeling hot and nauseous, with a loud rushing in his audials.

"You look so terrified," Megatron said, astounded. "Has someone been filling your helm with lies?"

"I-I don't think so," Starscream said through a thick glossa. "What is it you want from me?"

"Your loyalty, absolute," Megatron said harshly. "I would have you kneel before me and never again disobey. You have no idea the trouble you've caused me."

Starscream tried to vent, but it was shaky and hitching. "It was not my intention to offend you. I was trying to protect Thundercracker and Skywarp."

"By giving power to the Autobots. You always do this, you worthless seeker. You believe you are the smartest mech in the room, and no one else is worthy of making a decision, even if it is not your place."

Starscream flinched at Megatron’s tone. He's not sure why he did.

"I am the leader, not you. I know what is best for the faction. You have nothing now- you are nothing- you can't fight, you can't damage things- you are disabled and hobbled by this coding. Maybe you are fit to decorate someone's berth, but I doubt you would be satisfactory even then."

Unfamiliar rage bubbled through Starscream. "Then why do you pursue me if I am so worthless?"

Megatron's optic ridges rose in surprise. "You talk back now? That's new."

Despite every ounce of him telling him to shut up, Starscream continued. "This is becoming tedious. Generally, when someone asks a question, it is customary to answer it, not insult the asker."

Megatron laughed. "It's- it's almost as if you're back," he said incredulously. "What changed?"

"I don't know, Shockwave did something-"

"Shockwave, hmm?" Megatron said, smirking. His optics hardened, and he burst forward with a flash towards Starscream.

Starscream had the reflexes to get out of the way and away from his reach; he could feel them try to spring to his aide. His frame wanted to get him out of danger- but Starscream stood still. He felt like prey irrationally waiting to be consumed by the predator.

Megatron grinned wickedly as his servo curled around Starscream's wing, gripping too hard. "Where is Shockwave, Starscream? He and I have something to discuss."

Starscream had never seen Megatron this close in his short life, but in distressing clarity, he understood why everyone wanted to keep him away from the mech. Megatron's field lashed around him in suffocating waves, doing nothing to calm Starscream down.

Had Megatron always been insane, or was this a recent affliction?

Megatron squeezed his wing harder, and Starscream winced as the plating began to buckle.

"He's in the lower levels," Starscream ground out.

Megatron smirked. "Somehow, you still lie the same. I sort of missed it." Megatron pulled him closer so their chests were touching, and Starscream's spark clenched uncomfortably. "He must be somewhere up here then, as that is the opposite of what you just told me. And if the Autobots seem to have control of the base, they probably put him in the brig. Stop me if I'm close."

Starscream wanted to lie and convince Megatron he was wrong, but being so close to him was suffocating. He shook his helm weakly, which only made Megatron’s smirk widen.

“No? Don’t you want to tell me the truth, Starscream? Like a good little pacified seeker?”

Starscream felt himself relax in Megatron's grip, pliant and obedient. The annoying parts of the pacification program still seemed to be working at inopportune times such as these, but Starscream's rage seethed beneath his plating. At least he had that, even if his frame wasn't doing what he wanted.

"Why do you want Shockwave?" Starscream asked, using his anger to push past the fear.

"Yet again, you forget yourself. I'm not accustomed to telling my plans to lesser, useless subordinates, especially those recently in the berth with Autobots."

Starscream narrowed his optics. "Remind me again why anyone follows you? Skywarp always sang your praises, and Thundercracker implied you were our best hope. But I'm having trouble-"

Starscream heard crunching metal before he felt the pain in his cheek. Pain bloomed immediately, bringing cleaning fluid to his optics at the corners. His vision had fritzed temporarily, going white, so he was confused when it came back, and he was staring at the far wall with his neck turned painfully to the side. He didn't understand what had just happened and thought he was glitching.

Then the realization that Megatron had struck him finally caught up in his processor.

Starscream gingerly brought a shaking servo up to his cheek, gently running his digits over the swelling plating that was warm to the touch. It was the shock more than the pain that was making him tremble slightly.

No one had ever hit him before. No one had ever been violent to him before.

And there was nothing he could do to stop Megatron from doing it again. Or doing something worse.

He slowly turned back to look at Megatron, who looked just as shocked. It was as if Megatron had meant to punch someone else, and Starscream had gotten in the way. They locked optics for a few moments before Megatron slowly released his tight grip so that only a light hold on Starscream's shoulder remained.

"Let's go," Megatron said gruffly, pushing Starscream on stumbling pedes down the hallway.

Chapter 42: You Had All the Power

Starscream swallowed as he and Megatron kept walking closer and closer to the brig. He kept trying to spam his comms, but despite his desperate pleas for help, his comms were still dysfunctional or unanswered.

Megatron didn’t talk to him, which was fine. He followed closely behind, his hand on Starscream’s shoulder, dissuading him from going on any detours. The sadistic glee that had been rife all over Megatron’s field was gone, almost as if it had deflated the second he had struck Starscream.

Starscream didn’t have much to say to him either, frankly. He was still reeling from the pain in his cheek and how some of the puzzle pieces regarding him finally fell into place. Everyone’s half explanations, the guilty looks, and then even what his old self had said on the subject suddenly started to make sense.

Starscream just wanted to sit down somewhere and think… and maybe curl up next to Shockwave and his gentle field.

“I didn’t want it to be like this,” Megatron said quietly at his back. “Not again.”

Starscream swallowed, feeling particularly numb. Just more confirmation, then, that things had been quite toxic before. “It seems to me you had all the power to stop it. But didn’t.”

Megatron gave a deep sigh. “Perhaps I don’t know how else to deal with you.”

"Ah, so it's my fault. Thank you for clarifying."

"That's not-" Megatron started angrily, his digits flexing a little. "That's not what I meant."

Starscream found he didn't really care what Megatron meant, but part of him supposed that was the problem. He had tried to put himself in his old self’s apathetic pedes and maybe that lack of caring was part of the reason things had gone so sour. Maybe they never actually talked or engaged each other properly. Starscream didn’t want to fall into the same well-worn patterns between them, even if Megatron couldn’t stop himself.

"You should not have struck me," Starscream said curtly. "Aside from the fact that I didn't deserve it, I can't even hit you back."

"Yes, I… forgot," Megatron replied, sounding irritated. "You sounded… normal again."

Starscream bit back the anger that bubbled from that statement. "I am normal," he said as neutrally as he could muster. “And you are going to have to deal that I’m different now. Figure it out.”

Megatron merely huffed his vents in an agitated reply. Starscream opened his mouth to poke at Megatron’s patience again, but they were interrupted by some noise in the hallway coming towards them.

Megatron immediately tensed, pulling Starscream’s shoulder so that his wings and back were flush against Megatron’s chest. “Don’t move,” Megatron growled in his audial.

Starscream grit his denta. He couldn’t move, but fine.

Appearing in the hallway were three mechs, barely visible in the smoke. But when it cleared, Starscream’s breath caught.

Skywarp was handcuffed and being escorted by Chromia and Optimus Prime down the hallway.

“STAR!” Skywarp cried, trying to twist out of the hold.

Starscream wanted to struggle in Megatron’s grip but was also similarly bound. “‘Warp,” he said mournfully.

Optimus looked at Megatron, narrowing his blue optics. “What are you doing, Megatron?”

“This really doesn’t concern you,” Megatron said, powering up his cannon.

“NO!” Starscream cried. “No, please, you’ll hit Skywarp!”

Skywarp was fixated on Megatron, his optics dark.

But Megatron merely shrugged. “He knows how to duck.”

Optimus growled and surged forward. Before Megatron could get off a shot, Optimus hit the weapon to the side, and the shot flung out into the wall instead. Optimus then followed up with a punch to Megatron’s face, and Megatron staggered back.

That left Starscream free.

“Star, run!” Skywarp yelled.

Starscream hesitated only a second before turning and running towards the brig. He heard Megatron bellow, and flinched, unsure if he was being pursued.

“This is a nightmare,” he said to himself.

There were too many mechs in the base, all with different objectives. Starscream knew he was just a pawn to most of these people- and perhaps an interesting pawn that could be physically manipulated and told lies to shape his views. Sometimes he wondered why people cared so much about him in particular- why was everything centering on him? Who had him, where he was, who was controlling him- it seemed these were things that mattered in this war- but why?

Starscream skidded into the brig, his wings twitching. He wasn’t sure if he had lost Megatron and Optimus or not, but he couldn’t wait.

“Starscream?” Shockwave said. “Is everything alright?”

Part of Starscream’s spark warmed seeing him and his frame relaxed slightly.  But then his face fell. “Both Optimus and Megatron are in the base,” he said, going over to the lock on the door. “Megatron seems fixated on me.”

Shockwave tensed and he reached out to grab Starscream’s arm. “He must not capture you.”

“I figured that out,” Starscream replied tersely. Starscream fiddled with the lock, trying to undo it, but the pacification program kept interfering with his movements. “Who cares if I fragging damage the lock!” he whispered harshly.

His venting was coming in raggedly and he nearly gave out a frustrated whine. Why wasn’t this working? Why couldn’t he open the lock?

“You don’t have the key,” Shockwave said quietly.

“No!” Starscream said desperately. “No, I don’t.” Still, he fiddled with it, feeling sluggish and tired.

Shockwave’s hand slowly drifted up to his cheek, gently running a thumb against his swollen face where Megatron had struck him.

“You are injured?”

Starscream frowned. “I was a little blunt with Megatron,” he said quietly.

There was some silence, and then Shockwave clasped his shoulder so that Starscreams had to lean forward. “Shockwave- what-“

Shockwave tilted his helm down to press against Starscream’s forehead in the imitation of a kiss.

At least, that is what Starscream thought it was.

Starscream knew they would never kiss the same way that he did with Thundercracker and Skywarp. While that thought was a sad one, it was quickly replaced with flickering surprise as he was enveloped by the strength of Shockwave’s field. It was overwhelming like a kiss was, making Starscream slightly dizzy and weak at the contact, but also incredibly soft. He could feel Shockwave’s muted emotions through the field, and though they were weak, they were there.

“You need to hide.”

Starscream shuddered a breath, and his servos stopped trying to open the lock. “I can’t leave you.”

“We’ve been through this before,” Shockwave said fondly, stroking his arm down Starscream’s side. “You said you would listen to me next time.”

“I don’t believe I said that at all,” Starscream replied with a smirk. “I think I just said I regret disobeying you; not that I wouldn’t do it again.”

“Starscream,” Shockwave said, closing his optic. “Megatron will hurt you- more than he has already. He is incapable of anything less.”

“Everyone hurts me,” he replied bitterly, grasping onto any part of Shockwave he could embrace. “I’ve learned to deal with it.”

Shockwave cleared his vocalizer. “Still, if we can minimize the damage, we should-“

“Ah, good. The two mechs I was looking for.”

Starscream froze, slowly closing his optics at the harsh sound of the deep voice.

There were loud pedesteps behind him, and then his wing was grabbed roughly and yanked back. He yelped in shock, his wing having never been handled so harshly. He let go of Shockwave in surprise. He winced slightly as he was turned around to look at Megatron straight-on.

Starscream gave him a look of cool defiance, even as his chin quivered involuntarily. “So much for trying things differently, I guess.”

Megatron quirked an optic ridge and leaned forward. "Some things are unavoidable.” He grabbed Starscream’s wrist and started to pull him into another cell.

"Lord Megatron-" Shockwave protested but was ignored.

Starscream could not resist Megatron's manhandling but stumbled at the force of the pull. He winced once more at the crushing strength on his wrist. “You are hurting me,” he said plaintively.

“Then move faster!” Megatron said, squeezing harder.

Starscream’s intakes sped up as the pain grew. His other servo flexed as he wanted to try and pry Megatron’s grip off of him, but he knew he would not be able to.

"Lord Megatron, please desist," Shockwave said. There was a small tremor to his voice, barely noticeable unless you knew him well. "I have already told you, what you desire is not possible-"

"You will make it possible. You have the pattern right here," he said, holding Starscream's arm up in the air and shaking him like a limp doll. "Give me a copy to use, and you can have your precious seeker you all seem to care so damn much about."

Starscream grimaced, trying to ignore the pain in his wrist and the warring thoughts in his helm.

"...copy?" Starscream repeated, confused.

Megatron was about to throw him into a cell when Optimus Prime appeared in the doorway. He looked beaten up a little, and his chest was heaving as he gave Megatron a withering look. “It takes you minutes of being around him again, and you resort to this?”

Megatron growled. “It’s still none of your business how I treat my mechs! Why do you insist on interfering?”

"Because I’m the only one that can," Optimus replied. He stepped into the brig, and Starscream took some quiet satisfaction at feeling Megatron tense.

With a snarl, Megatron threw Starscream into the cell and then charged Optimus with a fist pulled back.

Starscream hit the wall and barely had time to right himself before Megatron’s form had been thrown back into him. Optimus managed to avoid Megatron’s charge and had punched him instead. The force of Megatron’s frame knocked the wind out of Starscream’s vents, and he yelped in surprise. He tried to slip away, but he was pinned.

Megatron growled and brought up his fusion cannon to fire on Optimus. The heat of the weapon surging to life burned Starscream on his arm, and he screeched. "Get off me!" he cried.

But both Megatron and Optimus ignored Starscream completely, their gazes locked on each other. Optimus dove in to tackle Megatron again, pinning Starscream underneath both their frames on the ground. Megatron got a good punch into Optimus’s face mask, sending him reeling back. When he had righted himself, he leaned forward and kneed Megatron in the abdomen.

Starscream clenched his jaw as he tried to drag himself to safety. They weren’t trying to hurt him, but simply being in proximity meant catching a stray kick. Starscream dimly noticed Shockwave standing stock-still at the door to his cell, watching the fight as if in a trance.

Starscream’s spark hammered in his chamber. He tried to call to Shockwave to try and help him, but Optimus’s frame flew into him in the tight quarters, and he lost the words in a grunt.

“Can you please have your fight somewhere else!” he yelled at them.

Optimus pulled Megatron off of him and shoved him against the wall. Megatron aborted his fusion cannon’s warm-up sequence, and instead focused his energy on trying to rip Optimus’s faceplate off with his bare hands.

"You sanctimonious slag-heap- I’ll rend you limb from limb!" Megatron bellowed.

Optimus grunted and pushed Megatron again, the force of the shove sending Megatron stumbling back. Starscream finally saw an opening and ran to Shockwave, fiddling with the lock again.

"Shockwave, can you hear me?" he said gently.

Megatron roared in frustration as Optimus Prime continued to block his way.

With an audible click, the door finally swung open. Starscream nearly crowed in triumph and then set to work to opening his cuffs. "I'll get you out of here in no time. Don’t worry."

"They are never going to stop, are they?" Shockwave asked, still staring at the fighting leaders. "Not unless someone makes them stop."

Starscream furrowed his brow, puzzled by the words. "What could possibly make them stop?" he asked. "Mechs have tried for years."

As his handcuffs finally gave way, Shockwave's optic glinted in the low light of the brig. He quickly wrapped his arms around Starscream and pulled him tight and close. He seemed to snap out of his daze and ask, "Are you alright?"

Starscream nodded, his mind still clouded in confusion, and let himself be drawn close, finding solace in his guardian's arms. Shockwave watched the conflict from a distance and slowly backed Starscream up against the wall so that they could try to sneak past the fighting opponents.

Megatron noticed. "Shockwave, what are you waiting for? Shoot Prime!"

Shockwave held firm, glancing between the two of them. Then he kept walking, shielding Starscream from Megatron’s gaze.

"SHOCKWAVE!" Megatron yelled.

The intensity of Megatron's rage sent a chill down Starscream's spine, but Shockwave kept them moving until they were safely outside the brig. Optimus distracted Megatron, and the two continued to clash, denting and scratching their frames.

"Where are we going?" Starscream asked.

Shockwave reached down to interlock their fingers. "We are going to end this."

 

Notes:

I meant to publish this the end of 2022, but didn't make it. I'm dedicating myself to updating Pacification weekly on Fridays here on in- so stay tuned.

Chapter 43: An Emotional Response

Thundercracker commed Skywarp, getting a bunch of unintelligible sentences back.

"Clotheslined!" then "Chromia, aw frag- Prime-" and then "STAR! Megatron?"

Thundercracker vented in frustration as he tried to travel down an elevator shaft to get to the lower levels. Clearly, all of the action was happening on a different level of the base. "Are you just going through a list of names of people you know?" he snarked.

There was a long pause and then a snort. "Why, yes, beloved, just making sure my memory still works," Skywarp replied. Thundercracker could hear the nervous smile in his voice, barely masking his panic. "I saw Star. Megatron had him."

Thundercracker had feared that's what Skywarp had meant. His tanks lurched. "Was he okay?"

Skywarp paused long enough that the answer was unfortunately obvious. "I don't- I don't know. They were headed towards the brig. Primus, Thunder, when he said my name-"

Thundercracker scowled, gunning his engines. "Got it. Will meet you there."

Skywarp grunted. "I have to get rid of an annoying blue femme first, but I’ll be there soon. And TC, watch yourself. Prime is here, along with a bunch of other annoying characters."

Thundercracker smiled as he twisted down a hallway. "Just let them try to get in our way."

 

---

 

Shockwave led Starscream down the labyrinthine corridors that delved deeper and deeper underground. The two of them didn’t say much as they were still wary of running into other parties- Autobot or Decepticon. Starscream itched to go back and find Skywarp, but seeing that Shockwave apparently had a plan, that was good enough for him. They were walking through a section of the fortress that Starscream realized he had never explored previously. Massive power cables snaked down the shadowy corridors, suggesting that something was receiving electricity down here while disconnected from the central system.

They came across another lab, and Shockwave indicated this was the place. Once inside, he locked the heavy doors behind them. "We will be safe in here,” Shockwave assured him.

Starscream reached out for him, embracing his side. He needed the comfort as much as he needed to know that Shockwave was alright. “Shockwave, what is going on? Megatron said some things that I have questions about.”

“I promise to explain,” Shockwave said, softly touching his lower back. “But with all of them here, we won’t have another opportunity like this again. We need to move quickly.”

Starscream wet his lips, trying to keep the anxiety out of his field. He didn’t understand what was happening or what Shockwave planned, but he held his curiosity back. “What do you need me to do?”

Shockwave touched the side of his cheek with a light, caring touch. “Please log in to that control panel and locate the software used to distribute code updates. Once I've finished securing the payload, you can get it ready for disbursement.”

Nodding, Starscream stepped away to the console and did as instructed. “When I was being led to you by Megatron, I spotted Skywarp. I'm going to guess TC's around too.”

Shockwave paused momentarily at his typing. “I… see.”

Starscream narrowed his optics but followed the procedure to prepare the program. “We're dispersing what exactly?”

Shockwave stated, "A coding upgrade," as though this clarified everything.

Sighing, Starscream stopped short of finishing the program's setup. “Shockwave. Please tell me what we are doing.”

Shockwave looked up at Starscream. The brightness of his optic seemed to fade ever so slightly, as if he were hesitating. Starscream’s wings twitched at the pause before Shockwave finally began to explain. "I'm sure by now you understand that contracting the pacification program was less of an accident and more of a series of well-placed scenarios," he said.

Starscream had always admired Shockwave's forthrightness, even though it sometimes bordered on rudeness. But his words had such a heavy weight that Starscream struggled to vent. “I had surmised this, yes.”

Shockwave went back to typing. “Rediscovery of tacere avem was planned, and both Optimus Prime and Megatron have sought to weaponize the program against each other ever since. You were the sacrificial bolt to test it out.” He typed faster at the console as if spurned by his own words. “The test was a success, I suppose. You were neutralized and helpless to obey their whims. You became a symbol or even an ideal of what they wanted to do to their enemy soldiers, and more importantly, your processor held the blueprints for someone to recreate the effect.”

Starscream swallowed around his dry throat. “Wait. What?”

Shockwave either ignored him or was so focused on his words he didn’t hear him. “Megatron desired the coding for himself, and so he instructed me to make one command you cannot override- my ability to copy the code from you.”

“Shockwave,” Starscream said quietly, despairing. “No…”

“I do not intend to give Megatron the pacification program, though- at least not how he intended it. I intend to pacify everyone currently on the base.”

Starscream stopped venting. “What?”

 

---

 

Elita ran down the hallway with her gun drawn. All Pit had broken loose, and her forces were scattered across the base. Optimus had predictably chased after Megatron, and Elita had tried to follow, but more Decepticons kept appearing around every corner.

So much for a calm, relaxing weekend at the enemy base she controlled while trying to figure out what the frag was wrong with Optimus.

Okay, in retrospect, it was probably too much to ask that things go smoothly. There were too many different characters in play.

Speaking of characters.

She rounded a corner just in time to see Skywarp get free from Chromia with a good solid kick. She flew backward and hit the wall with a pained groan.

“Don’t move!” Elita said, training her gun on the seeker. “I’m serious, Skywarp!”

Skywarp gave a dramatic roll of his helm. “I want nothing to do with you- I just minded my own business- in my own base I might add- and then Chromia decked me! Let’s just pretend we didn’t see each other, okay?” He was slowly trying to tug at the inhibition collar that stopped his warp ability from activating.

“What’s your plan?” Elita asked. “I let you warp out of here; what are you going to do?”

Skywarp stopped moving and stared her down. “I’m going to find Starscream and protect him from all you idiots.”

Elita’s optics softened. She lowered her weapon. “Make sure you do.”

But before she could help him go to his trinemate, weapon fire rained down the hallway, clanging against the metal walls. Skywarp yelped and the three of them ducked, unsure if it was coming from a friendly or an enemy. Chromia grimaced and ran for Skywarp, pulling him down another hallway as Elita returned cover fire. Elita called after them, but Chromia didn't stop.

Elita groaned, trying to go after them in the chaos.

---

 

Shockwave couldn’t meet Starscream’s optics, so instead, he looked back down at his console, loading the program to prepare to receive the payload. “Tell me when the program is ready, and then I will copy the coding from you.”

Starscream stepped away from the keyboard as if he had just been burned. “You- you will not. You can’t do this-”

“I recognize this will change your estimation of me,” Shockwave replied, his chest feeling oddly tight. “But it is the logical solution to the problem of your safety. If everyone is pacified, then no one is unique, and the war will stop. Megatron and Optimus Prime will stop. I will make them. You won’t be hurt anymore.”

Starscream was shaking his head, and truly, Shockwave knew he was inflicting pain on Starscream himself. But he had been arguing with Megatron, pleading with him ever since Starscream left the Decepticon base and was dragged to the Autobots after they had invaded. In return, Megatron had beat him, bashed his optic, and threatened to use Starscream against him once he had guessed that there was affection brewing between them.

Initially, Megatron was somewhat honorable in this affair, willing to take back a broken soldier and protect him. But something about seeing Starscream so changed from his old self had… set him off. Shockwave didn’t experience grief like others did- he barely understood it- but it seemed Megatron had snapped and focused all of his energy into subjugating the Autobots by the very method that had taken away his erstwhile Air Commander.

Megatron would stop at nothing to get the code from Starscream, and part of him wondered if the Autobots were not far behind trying to do the same thing.

Pacifying everyone would make things so much simpler.

“This was your plan? All along?” Starscream’s voice was tremulous. He was so terribly disappointed that even Shockwave could interpret his emotions.

“I feared it would always come down to this, yes.”

Starscream’s beautiful face was marred with a frown as he took another step back. “This? This is how you save me? I have spent my entire short life coming to terms with how my coding was altered against my will and your answer is to do it to everyone else?”

Shockwave bowed his helm. “Yes.”

“Shockwave,” Starscream said, his voice thick. “You can’t do this. Please, this can’t happen- I don’t want any part of this.”

“Unfortunately, your involvement is necessary.”

“Only if you don’t change your mind! Shockwave, listen to me, please!” Shockwave found it odd how often Starscream was saying his name. Though it pleased him to hear it from Starscream’s mouth, he knew it was a hope to entreat him away from his plan, and he could not be swayed. “You- you always listen to me. You, amongst everyone else, know what it’s like to be changed, molded, manipulated- I had to trust someone, or else I would go crazy.” Starscream furrowed his brow. “Was… the affection between us manufactured as well?”

Shockwave paused, giving it some thought. Starscream misinterpreted his lack of response for something else and made a slight noise of anguish in the back of his throat.

“No- I do not believe I manipulated you in that way.”

Starscream swallowed, casting his optics down. It occurred to Shockwave that he wanted to convince Starscream of his sincerity. He usually would let mechs interpret things for themselves, but seeing Starscream question him and his motives surprisingly… stung.

“Thundercracker had tried to warn me…” Starscream said quietly before his optics shot wide, and he looked up at Shockwave with fear. “Skywarp and Thundercracker-”

“Will be affected too, yes.”

Starscream was shaking his helm back and forth. “I do not want this. You see how this is wrong, correct? Is that why you wouldn’t tell me why-” he choked back a whine, glancing at the door. “I trusted you.”

Shockwave closed his optic. “I am sorry. But I can’t stand to see you hurt again.”

Starscream blinked and then ran for the door, trying to scramble at the keycode to open it.

 

---

 

Megatron wiped energon from his mouth with the back of his hand.

Prime was in rare form today. He dodged another punch and hit up against the wall, staring at his long-suffering enemy with burning optics. He just needed to get past the mech to get to Shockwave and Starscream- because clearly, Shockwave needed some convincing.

Optimus was winded, having pulled back his facemask a little while ago to vent more effectively. Megatron didn’t fare much better, but he took some satisfaction from his fatigue anyway.

“I wonder what my mechs are doing to your soldiers right now. Can’t be anything good,” Megatron purred.

Optimus frowned. “You aren’t going to win. You never will, as long as my spark spins!”

“Is that a suggestion? Because stopping your spark is definitely the plan!” He surged forward, tackling Optimus around the waist as they both fell to the ground. Optimus was on his back, holding his hand around Megatron’s throat, while he scratched and scraped at Optimus’s chest plating, trying to tear out his spark chamber.

“I wish- you would just stop and think about what you are doing!” Optimus said with a grunt as he grabbed one of Megatron’s wrists and twisted. Megatron let out a bellow but kept trying to peel back his chest plating. “We’ve escalated things too far this time- we have to stop this!”

“No, Prime, we haven’t gone far enough. You permanently marred one of my best soldiers, forcing me to take him out of the equation. I’m more embarrassed I didn’t think of it first!” His smile was cruel as his fingers finally caught on a seam of Optimus’s windshield, and the glass began to creak. “You surprised me, but I fully intend to catch up to your level.” Megatron surged forward so his face was microns away from Optimus, smiling wildly. “When I pacify you, I will make you watch as I dismantle everything you wanted to protect.”

Optimus’s optics paled, and then he heaved Megatron with a yell, throwing him off and against the wall.

 

---

 

Starscream couldn’t open the door. Why was this a theme with him? There was always a door he could not open; something was always standing in his way of escaping this fresh hell he had found himself in.

“Starscream,” Shockwave said gently from behind him. “Please return to the console so I can copy your code.”

His spark sank. He turned around, holding his back against the wall, trying to appear small. “What about everyone else back on Earth? They won’t be pacified.”

“There will be enough confusion and chaos in the wake of Optimus and Megatron’s pacification. I think the war will effectively wither away to nothing. In fact, I think they will all kill each other in confusion.”

Starscream looked up at the ceiling, trying to maintain his composure. “Don’t do this.”

Shockwave gently reached out his hand to clasp around Starscream’s wrist. “It is the most logical course of action.”

“It is not,” he spat. “This is incredibly emotional, Shockwave! Don’t you see that?”

Shockwave drew back in uncertainty. His optic searched Starscream’s face as if trying to divine the hidden meaning behind his words, but Starscream held firm. Shockwave then sighed. “I don’t see how that is relevant. Even if I allow emotion to inspire my actions, my plan logically means you will be at less risk.”

Starscream’s shoulders sagged. “I am one person. Pacification permanently altered me, and things escalated in the war. How can you say pacifying more mechs would calm things down? Logically, you should limit the coding’s effect, not multiply it.”

There was another pregnant pause, yawning between them as they stared. Starscream tilted his helm to the side, entreating this mech he was so spark-wrenchingly fond of to understand and stray from his current course.

“They will keep coming after you-” Shockwave started.

“Then I will leave! I will just leave and be alone! No one will find me, and I will eke out my existence away from their greedy hands and hypocrisy. They would have to stop fighting to find me, and I think they enjoy fighting their war more than they would enjoy winning it.”

Shockwave bowed his helm, grasping Starscream’s wrist possessively tighter. “You would be alone- you crave such affection and belonging; how would you survive?”

Starscream looked down at their hands mournfully. “It is better than being the author of more people going through the fear and helplessness I have gone through. I thought you knew me better than that.”

This entire conversation was burning in Starscream’s audials, searing his very core. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to keep trying to convince Shockwave as he was so tired. All he had wanted was to curl up, perhaps in his warm lap, and let the mech softly touch his wings and caress him with his field. Now, he wasn’t sure he could trust Shockwave, and that warm domesticity seemed beyond reach.

But it appeared he had finally gotten to Shockwave.

Shockwave dropped his hand, and Starscream mourned the touch. “I am sorry. When I saw them hurting you… I could think of nothing else. Megatron and the Prime are so strong that I feared the opportunity would disappear if we did not do something soon.”

Starscream was still bitterly hurt, and his spark throbbed in his chassis. “Am I the only way for them to get the Pacification code?”

After a beat, Shockwave nodded. “They erased the base version uploaded into your system, which is now irretrievable. However, Megatron wants the version that has incubated and developed within you because of how it evolved. It is more… stable.”

“Then, if you ever cared about me, how I feel, or what I want, you will change the code to be unable to be copied.”

“That is not possible-”

“Then you will make it so if someone tries to copy the code, it infects them instead.”

Shockwave tilted his helm to the side, considering. “They may use a third-party computer to download the program, rendering this effort in vain.”

“Then make it inaccessible. It can only be accessed by a mech, and that mech is you.”

Shockwave’s optic fritzed out for a split second. “You would still trust me with that responsibility?”

Starscream wasn’t sure he did anymore, but he decided he had no choice. “It’s a double-edged sword. You would be pacified as a result.” He crossed his arms across his chest as if trying to hug himself. “If this is the only way for Pacification to die with me, then that’s what I want. I want the ability to change others with it off the table permanently.”

“I… understand. But Megatron-”

“I will deal with Megatron,” he said sternly.

Shockwave flexed his hand, doubtlessly still running calculations and logic trees in his helm. Starscream suppressed a full-frame shiver, hoping that he was right, and Shockwave would do what he wanted. Having tasted autonomy and agency, Starscream wanted- and thought he deserved- more of it, and he was going to get these mechs to see reason, even if it killed him.

Shockwave then nodded. “This… will take some time.”

“Good," Starscream replied, breathing a sigh of relief. "Get my comms working- I have some calls to make.”

 

Notes:

You will notice we (finally) have a total chapter count- we did it. Thank you all so much for your love and support, and I'm excited to give you the ending to this one <3

Thanks Raax for the quick read-through!

Chapter 44: The Trine Problem

Thundercracker banked around another corner and transformed at the last second so that he bounced off the far wall to continue his momentum. The fragging base had too many twists and turns for his liking, but it was hard to invade Darkmount for that very reason. Shockwave could close off portions and force mechs to funnel into corridors he wanted, not unlike turbomice in a research labyrinth.

His pedes were aching from all the running, but something told him he was getting close. He could almost feel it, like something was drawing him to his trinemate in peril. Thundercracker might have secretly harbored an affinity for the romantic notions around sparkbonds and trinebonds, but he was also a realist. A trinebond was more of a feeling than something that could be measured, and he certainly hadn’t felt the moment Starscream had been permanently disabled, much to his disappointment.

He had privately worried they were more of a sham of a trine than he had realized. Shouldn’t he have known? At the very least, when Starscream had been coerced out of the base twice, why hadn’t he felt it in his spark?

Thundercracker clenched his jaw. He had promised he would take care of him. His last promise to the old Starscream had been he would make sure he was safe, and Primus, had he and Skywarp fragged that up royally. The best thing he had done was send him off to Cybertron to get away from the trouble that followed Starscream like a magnet… but if things were developing as he had heard, then even this was a mistake.

It wasn’t worth the look of absolute betrayal Starscream had given him when he left him at the spacebridge. His disappointment and sadness haunted Thundercracker every waking moment.

He turned another corner and stopped in his tracks.

Jazz.

Thundercracker had been dealing with a lot lately. From the loss of his trinemate to the surprise promotion, to the fear and anxiety that came around having a mech he cared for deeply be in a state of constant danger, and not to be able to trust anyone… he’d not really had time to parse through some things.

Namely, his visceral fury for Jazz and Prowl for causing all of this in the first place.

He jumped and allowed his thrusters to push him forward, bodily tackling Jazz from the side.

Jazz shouted in surprise, unable to roll out of the way as his frame smacked up against the wall. He grimaced as he tried to push Thundercracker off him, but Thundercracker still had his thrusters on, giving him extra force to flatten him. His frame creaked dangerously as Thundercracker's mouth twitched in fury.

“Not even gonna talk about it, eh, mech?” Jazz said as he grunted in the effort. His casual roll of the shoulders just pissed Thundercracker off more.

“What is there to talk about?” Thundercracker said quietly, raising his hand to grasp it around Jazz’s neck. “I think actions speak louder than words, anyway.”

Jazz’s optics glowed brighter behind his visor. “I always figured Prowl and I would need to settle up with you and ‘Warp eventually. Now is just not a great time.”

Thundercracker bared his denta. “Apologies for not checking your schedule first! Do you think you can fit it in between crippling mechs or kidnapping them? I wouldn’t want to be a bother!”

“I—” Jazz said, but his voice was cut off as Thundercracker squeezed harder. Jazz squirmed and managed to loosen his grip slightly. “I only meant you have bigger priorities than me, don’t you?”

Primus damn it. “I might never get the chance to express how I truly feel if I don’t take the opportunity now.” He kneed Jazz in the abdomen, taking the vents right out of him as he doubled over. “Leave it to you, though, to once again try to use my trinemate against me.”

Jazz coughed, with a small bit of energon dripping down the corner of his mouth. “I know it’s personal now, but at the time… it could have been any Decepticon. Starscream was just the one available in our brig.”

Thundercracker frowned. “Who ordered Sunstreaker and Sideswipe to take him down that day?”

“Why does that matter?” Jazz asked, his brow furrowing.

“I don’t think it was as random as you think it was.” Thundercracker gave him one final shove and then backed up to the other side of the corridor, giving Jazz a disdainful look.

“You think we targeted Starscream on purpose?”

Thundercracker flicked his wings and turned to start walking away. “I’m just saying I don’t really trust anyone or anything right now. Everyone’s been trying to use him to their advantage, and I’m tired of it! Stay the frag away from my trine, or I will rip your spark out of your chest with my bare claws, and your last thoughts will be oh, Primus, he actually did it.”

“Don’t fuck with the wings,” Jazz said, wiping his mouth. “I get it.”

Thundercracker rolled his optics, gave Jazz a rude human gesture for good measure, and sprinted down the hallway again toward the brig.

 

 

---

 

 

Megatron limped out of the cell, using a hand splayed on the wall to brace himself. Prime groaned behind him, peeling himself off the floor to come after Megatron and continue their fight.

Megatron would usually indulge him. But right now, he had somewhere to be.

On his way out, he slammed the cell door closed and fired a quick shot from his cannon at low power to melt the lock. It wouldn’t hold Prime for long, but it would slow him down, at least.

“Running away yet again, Megatron?” Prime taunted, using the bars to pull himself up.

Megatron chuckled as he continued to exit, making slow progress. “I am looking forward to you serving me. Your humiliation will fuel me.”

“And I look forward to the moment you realize you have no one to blame but yourself when you have nothing! No followers, no strength, no pride—by the end of this, I’ll take it all, Megatron. If I can’t make you see reason, at least I can stop you from being unreasonable.”

Megatron furrowed his brow and looked over his shoulder. He narrowed his optics, considering Optimus Prime for a moment. It sounded like… did he have similar plans? Did he intend to use the coding, too? Megatron almost laughed. They were not that dissimilar after all.

It was imperative then that Megatron used the Pacification coding on the Prime first, then.

He turned back around and hobbled out of there, getting stronger and faster with each step. Megatron clenched his jaw as his anger fueled him. Things were not exactly going to plan, and it irritated him that no one was behaving the way he wanted. What on Cybertron had gotten into Shockwave? He was usually so predictable and loyal, but twice now, Megatron found himself wanting to tear the finials off the mech.

He stopped and peered around a corner, finding it empty. He proceeded cautiously, not wanting to run into any wandering Autobot before he could collect himself.

Speaking of which, he had a great idea. He found a console in an alcove, and with the power out, he had to use his own frame’s power via a cable to turn it on. He accessed it with overriding commands and brought up the drone control panel.

He flipped them from being passive cleaners to sacrificial defenders. A second command stood apart, telling them to rescue Commanders Shockwave and Starscream and bring them to Megatron by any means necessary.

He closed up the panel and unplugged. At the very least, they would cause as much of a nuisance as the Autobots had.

 

 

---

 

 

Starscream started the comm as Shockwave checked the status of the base through the security feeds.

“Whoever this is, you're going to have to wait.”

“Elita,” Starscream said, smiling. Despite everything, he found he liked her. “I'm sorry to interrupt.”

“Oh, I always have time for you,” she grunted. She made a sound of exertion, and an accompanying, fearful bellow told Starscream she was currently engaged in combat. “How can I help you?”

“I need you to do something for me. But it’s going to feel like you are manipulating the Prime.”

There was a cautious pause at the other end of the line, and Starscream swallowed hard, hoping his gambit would pay off. “I suppose I need to know your intentions then.”

“Fair enough,” Starscream replied, shifting in his chair. “I plan to try and get a ceasefire. Megatron and Prime won’t agree to it without some heavy-handed tactics, but I think I can do it.”

Elita sighed on her end, contemplating his words. “I’m willing to try. The way things are, I think anything is better than where we have ended up.”

“Thank you. I’m asking for your trust; I think you’ll know what to do when the time comes. Ideally, no one gets hurt, and we end the war by Sunday.”

She snorted in laughter. “Sure. I like your naivety; it’s refreshing amongst all these cynics. Tell me what you need, and I’ll be there.”

She cut the comm.

That was an easy one, Starscream thought. His next few calls were going to be tough.

He dialed. “Hello, Skyfire. I hope… you are doing well…”

 

 

---

 

 

Thundercracker stopped outside the brig, seeing it torn apart. Cannon fire had singed the walls and the ground, and a cell door had been ripped open from the inside. But it was empty.

He bit the inside of his lip in worry.

He turned toward the hallway and started jogging toward the lab. Shockwave would most likely have gone there as it was practically another fortress within this base. Thundercracker could hope that he’d taken Starscream there, too, to keep him safe.

As he rounded a corner, he nearly got pummeled by a drone, aggressively wheeling down the hallway. It scanned him and then ignored him, continuing its trek. Thundercracker narrowed his optics and wanted to follow it but decided he’d had enough distractions. Starscream was the most important.

Everywhere he went, there were signs of battle. The walls were scraped and dented, and the paint that adorned it had peeled and bubbled where it had been hit by weapon fire. Thundercracker was well aware of the damage a small, tight-quarters skirmish could exact on a base, but for some reason, every inch of damage he saw here pained him.

Again… Starscream was supposed to be safe here.

Their plan might have been slapped together at the last minute, but he had been sure he had been right. Starscream’s whereabouts being obscured could only have been a good thing, with everyone trying to make him a symbol, martyr, or trophy. Thundercracker just wanted him to be his trinemate! His sharp, observant, brilliant trinemate who needed to be protected and guided through this world so new to him.

He found the lab and pounded on the door. “Shockwave! Shockwave, it’s Thundercracker! I need to find Star!”

There was a pause, and Thundercracker feared he had guessed wrong. Perhaps no one was there, and he would have to start searching again; his pedes ached at the very thought.

The door opened.

With his red, white, and blue colors, Starscream held himself with a grace that belied the war-torn base walls around him. Thundercracker's spark fluttered within his chest, a mixture of elation and apprehension swirling within.

His trinemate had new, visible injuries on his frame. His paint was scratched, he had dents where he had been grabbed, and he looked exhausted. The poor thing looked like he had lost something dear and was still grieving.

Starscream’s optics locked onto Thundercracker's, and the world stood still momentarily. Thundercracker couldn’t vent. “Starscream," he began, his voice faltering. "Are you all right?”

Starscream paused and then gave him a half-smile. “I’m fine. It’s been a long couple of days.” His voice was hoarse, and his wings were stiff.

Thundercracker kept his face blank, but his mind was reeling. This was not the greeting he had hoped for. Starscream was calm, tired, and aloof. They might as well have been as far apart as Earth was from Cybertron, even though they were right in front of each other. “We heard the base was under attack, so we came. We would have come sooner if we could have.”

“I understand.” It looked like he would say something else but decided against it. The awkwardness grew in the silence yawning between them.

Thundercracker forced himself to move, taking a step forward. “I’m happy to see you,” he managed. He hoped the increased proximity might ease the uneasy tension between them.

Starscream squinted up at him with prickliness. This close, Thundercracker could see more damage and more regret on him. He reached up to cup his cheek.

Starscream stepped out of reach, and Thundercracker’s spark sank.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Starscream said carefully. “This-I can’t do this now. I have things I have to do- I wasn't ready for you yet.”

Thundercracker’s hand still hovered in the air, and then he let it slowly fall at his side. His spark was breaking that he had so superbly fragged up, but he tried to maintain his composure. “I’ll leave you alone,” he said quietly.

Starscream sighed, bristling. His plating flared out. “That’s not it, you moron.”

Did he just… insult him? Thundercracker reeled back slightly, shocked. He sounded so like the old Starscream just now, expressing his fond frustration in the most insulting way possible. But this was… weird. The thought crossed his mind that Starscream had gotten his memories back.

But… no. He still lacked the edge of cruelty and selfishness that had defined his former self.

But, yet again, Thundercracker had managed to drive a wedge between them. He swallowed thickly, as he couldn't blame Starscream this time. His tenure as trineleader had been an abysmal failure, and he was ashamed—

So, when Starscream scoffed and then reached up and hooked an arm around Thundercracker to pull him into an embrace, he was definitely surprised. He let his shock permeate his frame for a small moment before he reached up and embraced Starscream back, holding him close. He breathed him in and buried his face under his chin. “I don't understand,” he whispered.

“I meant not right now, TC, not never. But your face looked like I had told you I hate you.”

“You… don't?”

“No, TC.” Starscream softened slightly, nuzzling back. “But your timing for needing reassurance is impeccable,” he said sarcastically.

Thundercracker pulled to look at his injuries again. “What happened? What did Megatron do?”

“Nothing I couldn't handle,” he replied with a sniff. “He really is an aft, isn't he?”

Thundercracker snorted at the absurdity of the understatement. He went to hug Starscream again just for the novelty of it, but he noticed Shockwave limping slightly in the back of the lab, typing away at a console.

“Starscream,” Shockwave called. "It seems I’ve been locked out of the drone controls.”

Starscream frowned. “He’s fast, isn’t he? Truly, an aft.”

Thundercracker looked back and forth between the two of them, not quite following. “Megatron did something to the drones?”

“Not entirely unexpected when he keeps losing loyal mechs because of his incompetence,” Starscream muttered.

Thundercracker was having a terrible case of déjà vu. He looked back to Shockwave. “That might explain why I almost ran into one in the hallway. It was quite… aggressive.”

Shockwave hummed in curiosity. “Megatron has some coding knowledge. We should proceed with caution.”

Starscream rolled his optics. “Things are in motion now. Even he can’t stop it.”

Thundercracker tried to ignore the clench of his tanks. “Stop what, exactly?”

“I’m not some passive participant in this war anymore, TC,” Starscream said proudly, flaring out his wings. “I’m going to end this fucking war.”

Notes:

I have the whole thing written now, so I'm going to be updating every Friday until complete. Thanks for sticking with me, and sorry about the delays in posting! Hope you enjoy what I have in store for you <3

Chapter 45: Together Again

Optimus used the gray metal wall to keep himself upright as he slowly, painstakingly returned to the space bridge.

His comms were only intermittently working now, buzzing with familiar voices coming in and out as they gave commands and positions in battle. They fought to secure a foothold somewhere in the base, but he couldn't tell if any of his mechs had been successful. The female Autobots had entrenched themselves firmly in the weapons warehouse, but curiously, reports were saying that most of the weapons stored there had already been destroyed or deactivated.

Optimus wondered who had done that? The Decepticons would have used the weapons, so it must have been an Autobot. Optimus would have told them to take the weapons for the Autobot cause.

Whatever, he just had to get to the space bridge and stop—

“Jazz?” he called, relief washing over his frame.

Jazz turned and gave a tight smile. “Howdy, Prime. How’s it shakin’?”

“I’ve been better,” Optimus replied, smiling back under his mask. Jazz jogged over to him and offered him a shoulder to lean on. Optimus took it gladly. “I’m trying to secure the space bridge before Megatron can disappear.”

“Sounds good. What’s next after that?”

Prime adjusted his weight as his right leg was giving him some trouble. “Have you seen Starscream? We need to get him out of here.”

Jazz tensed slightly, but his demeanor was still open and relaxed. “Don’t you think we’ve messed with that seeker enough, sir?”

Prime’s smile slowly faded. “Unfortunately, he is still central to this conflict. I fear Megatron might use him against us.”

“I’m having déjà vu, sir, and it didn’t end so well for us last time,” Jazz replied flatly. “Or him, for that matter.”

Optimus stopped walking, and Jazz stopped smoothly as well. “You’re welcome to disagree with my methods, Jazz, but I still expect you to follow orders.”

Jazz raised an optic ridge. “And is there an order there, sir?”

Something had changed. Optimus was attuned to the feelings and thoughts of his soldiers, and while Jazz had always been a bit of a mystery to him, right now he was giving off distrust loud and clear. He decided to back off a little. “No… I don’t have any specific orders, Jazz,” he said tiredly. “Just try to help him if you see him.”

Jazz seemed mollified by that and nodded. But Optimus couldn’t help but wonder if he, too, was backing off to watch him carefully.

Between Elita and now Jazz, Optimus had an issue on his hands.

 

---

“Frag off! Chromia, let me go, you blueberry bimbo!” Skywarp whined.

Chromia rolled her optics, jerking Skywarp by the wings again. She seemed unimpressed by his subsequent growl. "Not until I figure out what's happening!" she huffed. Skywarp struggled, making everything extremely difficult for her, but she was as stubborn and strong as he was. "Did Starscream call you in? Is that why you all showed up?"

“No, Starscream didn’t call me!” Skywarp shouted back. “But if he did, I would have shown up in a sparkbeat—but that’s not what happened! We figured out Megatron was sneaking off here, and we were worried that he was going to… mess things up!” Skywarp bit his lip, unsure how much he should reveal to this unreasonable Autobot, but he felt compelled to clear the air. “Did you think Starscream plotted against you or something?”

“Well, yeah,” Chromia replied irritably.

“He’s different now,” Skywarp said, glaring. “You met him!”

Chromia furrowed her brow and frowned. “I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t he have the same personality? Did you all scramble that too, with his memory wipe?”

“Well. I mean. The old Starscream went through a lot to end up how he was,” Skywarp replied, shifting uneasily.

“So has yours,” Chromia replied.

“It’s… different,” Skywarp said, suddenly unsure. Unfortunately, the blueberry had a point. He swallowed hard, trying to come up with a less lame counterpoint. “Anyway, he didn’t call us.”

He was about to go into a tirade about how ugly she was when he got a communication ping from Thundercracker.

:Got him. Come to the lab.:

“LET ME GO, LET ME GO—letmegoletmego!!!” Skywarp’s voice cracked, and he thrashed with renewed vigor. “Chromia, I swear to Primus, I will—”

“Cool your jets, flyboy,” Chromia said, letting him go and stepping back. “I guess I don’t need you anymore.”

Skywarp blinked a few times at being so quickly freed but couldn’t waste time parsing through Chromia’s expression. He warped so fast out of there that his plating tingled.

He reintegrated in the big open section of the lab, and he immediately saw Starscream and Thundercracker.

"Oh, my wings—Star!" Skywarp shouted, dashing across the floor to pull the surprised mech into a tight embrace. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I'm so sorry, sweetspark!"

Starscream was bewildered for only another second before he chuckled fondly and hugged him back, easing some of the anxiety in Skywarp’s chest. “Skywarp, I’m fine—”

“I’m going to get you out of here!” Skywarp declared, reaching for Thundercracker as well. “Don’t you worry, baby, we’ll warp and get away from this mess—”

Starscream sighed, trying to shake his helm emphatically. “No, ‘Warp—”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Skywarp pressed, fretting over Starscream, looking over his plating. Starscream allowed the inspection but looked more annoyed than fond now. “You’re not just saying that, right? You can tell me—you don’t have to make me feel better. We’ll just go somewhere safe—”

“Skywarp,” Starscream snapped. “Would you just listen? Let me go.”

Skywarp drew back slightly and looked over at Thundercracker for clarification. Unfortunately, his other trinemate was no help, tracing his denta with his glossa in deep, worried thought. Starscream tapped Skywarp to be let go, which he did… reluctantly.

Why… did this feel weird? Skywarp swallowed hard, looking around the room, trying to understand what was wrong. Starscream was gearing up for another reprimand, Thundercracker looked lost in angry thought, and Shockwave—who looked like he had been through a fragging blender—stood off to the side, watching them carefully. The air was tense as if Skywarp had really stepped into it this time, but didn’t know why.

“We’re not running away,” Starscream said defiantly. “Not this time.”

“It’s not running away if it’s a strategic retreat,” Skywarp said, laughing nervously. “I mean, Megatron is running around. I don’t want him to hurt you again.”

“Megatron was… fine,” Starscream said, clearly not fine. “He was… not what I thought he was, but obviously a shade of what everyone was trying to warn me about.” He shook his helm as if clearing the thoughts. “But even still, I could tell he didn’t want to act like an aft. He’s just terrible at self-regulating.”

“That’s generous of you,” Thundercracker said flatly, folding his arms.

“I have a plan for him. We’re not retreating, either,” Starscream admonished. “I can’t spend my whole life just running from him and everything else!”

“At least you’d have a life to run with,” Thundercracker argued. “We’ve been trying to stay ahead of this every step of the way, to keep you safe—”

“And a fine job you’ve done there!” Starscream nearly shouted.

Thundercracker looked like he had been slapped, his shock evident. Even Skywarp was taken aback and wounded a little at the unfair statement. Starscream seemed to regret his outburst immediately but was too proud to apologize, looking away with his wings twitching in irritation.

“We’ve… done our best,” Thundercracker replied, hurt in his voice. “We’ve not done a great job, but we did try.”

“I don’t fault you for circumstances beyond your control,” Starscream said irritably. “But I’m trying to tell you I don’t need protecting! I can take care of myself.”

Skywarp was about to mention a few times when he had needed help, but a scathing look from the red and gray seeker had him quickly shutting up. It was familiar to be glared at and suddenly be quiet, but it had been long since Skywarp had experienced it.

Thundercracker tilted his helm slightly. “You… sound different than before.”

Starscream narrowed his optics. “I am allowed to be blunt.”

Skywarp laughed nervously. “There’s blunt and then there’s—"

“Rude?” Starscream asked irritably. “You know that the pacification program was pacifying my speech too, right?”

Skywarp’s optics went wide as he whispered, “What?” He had not realized. He had thought his trinemate was just sweeter now… oh, but he felt awful. Looking over at Thundercracker, he saw he was similarly surprised. “What… changed?”

“Shockwave,” Starscream replied. “He helped me edit the code so I could be… myself.”

Thundercracker frowned. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Would it have mattered?” Starscream asked hotly, his field lashing. “You barely listen to me anyway.”

“That’s unfair,” Skywarp said automatically. “I… think.”

Thundercracker traced the inside of his cheek with his glossa, thinking.

Starscream threw his hands up. “I didn’t understand what was happening,” he said, rolling his optics. “I had no frame of reference. I just assumed everyone had trouble getting irritated or angry.”

Skywarp could see it on Starscream's face; something bothered him about this confession. He balled his hands into fists and relaxed them, trying to relieve some of his anxiety. Why was he so nervous?

Thundercracker seemed to be inclined to argue more, so Skywarp decided to try to smooth this over. “You clearly have a plan; what does that look like?”

Starscream brightened slightly at the question. “I have all the players on the board. We don’t let anyone leave until they discuss their differences and agree to a treaty. Megatron and Prime will be the only ones that are still willing to fight, and I’ll force them to talk instead, even if I lock them in a room and let them beat the energon out of each other.”

“They… might kill each other if you do that,” Thundercracker said carefully.

Starscream shrugged. “Then so be it.”

“Primus,” Thundercracker said, full of disgust. “What happened to you? Why do you think that’s okay?”

“Of all the mechs to be defending, you’re defending them?” Starscream shook his helm. “They are why you all have been fighting in a war that should have ended years ago!”

“Oh, so you have it all figured out, do you?” Thundercracker said. “You looked at our millennia-old conflict and decided you know how we should have been fighting it?”

Starscream set his jaw, looking perturbed. “I’m not suggesting I know all of it, but from what I can see? Yeah, you all are idiots.”

“You are so fragging naïve!” Thundercracker shouted.

“TC,” Skywarp said gently. “Why are you so angry? He’s not entirely wrong.”

Thundercracker’s wings vibrated. “I take issue when all my efforts to protect him are questioned.” He turned to Starscream, his face forlorn. “I nearly died for you, and you’re acting like I’m stupid.”

Starscream’s whole body flinched, showing the first crack in his demeanor since this started. “That’s… not what I meant.”

Skywarp swallowed. “We’re just trying to be realistic, Star. There’s not much we can do now, so we might as well just take ourselves off the board.”

“You don’t believe me. You don’t believe my plan will work!”

Thundercracker sighed. “We’ve… heard this before.”

“The fuck do I care!” Starscream said, his wings flaring. “I’m not him! I’m not the other Starscream; I’m me. I’m different, and I thought you all knew that!”

“Where did you learn human swears?” Skywarp said stupidly, more shocked than anything else.

“The Autobots,” Starscream replied, some of his anger leeching out of him. “My plan will work. I have friendships and experiences the other Starscream never had. You think there is not much I can do, but you’re not even letting me try! I’m not doomed to failure just because I share a name with him.”

Thundercracker looked on the verge of tears. “It was a failure that got you into this mess. I can’t let you fail and end up hurt again. My spark can’t take it.”

Starscream stared solemnly at Thundercracker and then went to him, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Then don’t let me fail,” he said gently. “You have made it your life’s mission to be my protector,” he murmured, pulling TC closer. “But all I want from you is support.”

Thundercracker melted into Starscream’s arms, burying his face into his neck. Starscream stroked his back and softly kissed his forehead. Skywarp grinned like a fool as he saw them hold each other.

“Why do you want to end this war so badly?” Thundercracker murmured.

Starscream smirked. “Darling, this is just me being selfish. I don’t want a war happening if I can’t participate in it. But post-war society? I’ll thrive there.”

Skywarp stole a peek at Thundercracker, who was similarly transfixed with their trinemate—it was as if Starscream had returned from the dead and was mocking them even now. It was an eerie kind of realization that he had always been there, waiting for a chance to come out. Still, it nagged him to see his trinemate become so… cynical. “I still feel like we failed you somehow,” Skywarp said, shuffling his pedes.

“Didn’t you tell me that’s the reality of things?” Starscream said, smiling gently. “We’ll always end up disappointing each other. I know you don’t like who I’ve become, but I’m hoping you can accept me anyway.”

Suddenly, the anxiety and nervousness made sense. Starscream feared that Thundercracker and Skywarp would reject him now that he wasn’t always a sweet, soft-spoken mech.

Skywarp surged forward, wrapping around his trine like he could hold them together himself by sheer force of will if he had to. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Me either,” Thundercracker said, giving a small smirk.

Starscream looked over at Shockwave, and his face grew fond. “Further apologies and forgiveness will have to wait, I’m afraid,” Starscream said, pulling back. “We’ve got stuff to do.”

“Where do you want us?” Thundercracker asked.

“Take us to the space bridge. We have visitors to greet.” Starscream looked over his shoulder and held out a hand for Shockwave. “Join us.”

Shockwave stared at the hand and then slowly walked over to them. He took the hand carefully as if it were a fragile, delicate thing.

Starscream smiled widely, his wings nearly vibrating with excitement. “This is going to be fun.”

Chapter 46: Best Laid Plans

Notes:

Suprise! Better late than never lol

The four materialized outside the command room in a flicker of distorted air and crackling energy. Skywarp wavered, his equilibrium thrown, and Thundercracker caught him by the arm, steadying him with a practiced ease. The brief dizziness faded, and he stabilized. He shot Starscream a sheepish grin, attempting to mask the moment of weakness.

Starscream frowned. He hated seeing his trinemate so briefly compromised, but Skywarp’s grin was blinding and infectious. Against his better judgment, Starscream let it go and smiled back.

The sounds of battle on the other side of the doorway slammed into him. The acrid tang of charred plating thickened the air, and the sharp scent of overheated metal and burning circuitry laced through it. The distant reverberation of weapon fire set his plating on edge, but it also sent something old and deep coiling through his spark.

Excitement.

He was… excited. Every line in his frame was drawn taut, and he shivered with anticipation. He had heard tales of how he had been a great warrior, and now more than ever, he knew that was true. The way his frame itched to jump into the fray accelerated his sparkrate; the hunger was there, thrumming through his chassis like an old, familiar song. He felt the phantom flicker of null rays priming, the desire to throw himself into the chaos and carve his place, the desire to see the battle as it waged, find an opportunity to strike—

Well. Not strike, per se, he reminded himself. He had a role to play, which required something far more dangerous than brute force.

This was what he was meant to do. This was the new Starscream, inheriting his old self’s legacy and wielding it so that he could achieve what no one else could.

He strode confidently forward but stopped when Thundercracker grabbed his wrist. “Let us go first. Draw any fire,” Thundercracker said, voice low, steady. “What do you need?”

Starscream met his gaze, nodding. “I need to get Shockwave to the Space Bridge console. And I need to get captured.”

Oh, but the way that everyone flinched.

“Captured?” Skywarp squeaked. “By whom?”

“It won’t matter,” Starscream replied with a smirk. “I just need you all to act like that when it happens. Be loud and squawky.”

Thundercracker tilted his helm and closed his optics in a wince. “I know we said we’d trust you, and I want to, but you have to understand—”

“I recognize this is a big ask,” Starscream said, gently putting his hand on top of Thundercracker’s. “But trust me. I have so many people at play here. There is no way I can fail.”

Thundercracker and Skywarp didn’t look convinced but weren’t immediately telling him no way either.

Shockwave, silent up until now, finally spoke. “What is my role in this?”

Starscream’s optics gleamed. “When I give the signal—destroy the Space Bridge.”

Skywarp recoiled. “Uhh, that’s a bold move. Maybe a bad one?”

“It’s leverage,” Starscream countered. “No one out there wants it destroyed. They need it to return to their armies and friends on Earth. But us? We don’t care if rebuilding takes a cycle or a century.”

“So, you won’t destroy it in exchange for what, exactly??” Skywarp asked.

Starscream’s smirk sharpened. “A conversation.”

Thundercracker exhaled, frowning. “Megatron might call that bluff.”

“Good,” Starscream said, patting his hand.

A pause. A silent wariness lingered between them. Then—resolve.

He’d won them over.

“Alright,” Skywarp said, slinging an arm around Starscream’s shoulders. “One chaotic element coming right up.” He squeezed his shoulders once before pressing a quick, fleeting kiss to Starscream’s cheek. A wink, a flicker of teleportation energy, and then he was gone.

Thundercracker exhaled through his vents, then moved in. Unlike Skywarp, there was no hesitation. No mischief. Only something deep, molten, and sure. His servos ghosted over Starscream’s chassis, pulling him in flush, and Starscream barely had time to blink before Thundercracker kissed him.

It was open-mouthed from the start, and all heat and certainty. Starscream’s optics fluttered closed as he melted into it, a sharp contrast to the battle raging just beyond them. Thundercracker broke away only to press their foreheads together, voice low, rough.

“I trust you, you brilliant seeker.”

Then he was gone, striding into the command room.

Slightly breathless, Starscream turned to Shockwave and smirked. “Don’t suppose I can get a kiss from you, too?”

Shockwave tilted his helm, optics unreadable. He lifted one finger, pressing it beneath Starscream’s chin, tipping it up. “Is indulging in passion before battle truly a logical course of action?”

Starscream swallowed. “Probably not,” he admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “Is passion where this is headed?”

Shockwave hummed, thumb dragging idly across Starscream’s chin. “Despite my many attempts to dissuade you, your frame appears aroused. Quickened vents, rapid spark-beat, forward-angled chassis, lingering scent—”

“Please stop.” Starscream groaned, flushing hot. He batted Shockwave’s hand away—then immediately caught it, gripping tight. “You’re insufferable. Would you analyze me as you fragged me?”

Shockwave’s field pulsed with something Starscream could only describe as smugness. “I would do anything you asked of me.”

The admission sent something shivering through Starscream’s core. The trust—the devotion—it was intoxicating. Possibility and future, wrapped in logic and steel.

He exhaled. “Then let’s end this. Quickly. So I can… instruct you.”

Shockwave stilled, quiet for a moment—but Starscream knew him now and watched him closely. He knew the minute shift, the flicker of something deeper, something nearly emotive in the way Shockwave recalibrated himself in response to Starscream’s desires.

Starscream smirked. He had him. He had all of them.

And nothing could stop him now.

 

---

 

Shockwave followed behind Starscream into the command room, his optic flickering over the scene unfolding before them. The space was huge, designed to accommodate the massive influx of energon from Earth and large enough for a combiner or two to battle within its confines.

And the fight truly was… chaotic.

Laser fire seared the air, sizzling past Shockwave’s helm, close enough that he felt the heat pulse against his plating. He didn’t stop to consider whether it had been aimed at him—he ducked. Starscream mirrored the movement, tucking himself beneath a nearby console, optics wide as he surveyed the scene.

Shockwave immediately noticed Optimus Prime arguing with Elita-1 on the Autobot side of the room, gesticulating wildly at the space bridge. She, in turn, had a scowl on her face, shaking her helm and replying in calm, low tones. The Prime seemed perturbed and on the verge of breaking something. Jazz stood beside him with a tight look and was the first Autobot to notice their arrival. He slowly nodded his helm, staring at Starscream, who returned the gesture.

So far, Starscream’s plan of keeping everyone on the base was working.

Starscream was grinning, and his excitement for the next phase of their plan was palpable. Shockwave felt something, he thought, but he wasn’t sure what. He was pretty sure it was his own calculated unease. Rationally, he understood the probabilities and the risk, but Starscream—Starscream believed. And belief was a dangerous, intoxicating thing.

Meanwhile, other Autobots and Decepticons were fighting against the drones and each other frantically and haphazardly.

Megatron must not have had time to program them properly. The drones had little weaponry to speak of and were clearly trying to overwhelm with numbers more than attack power, but they were succeeding in being a nuisance. They would bump into the Autobots, trying to knock them down. They would spin, trip, and fall, managing to dent a few of the invaders but not doing any real damage.

Ironhide roared as he tore through a cluster of drones, servos wrenching one apart with sheer brute force, tossing the sparking husk into another. Nearby, Cliffjumper dodged low, weaving between clumsy drone strikes before delivering precise, vicious shots to their cores. Mirage flickered in and out of visibility, leaving drones firing wildly at nothing before his blade sliced through them with lethal… finality.

Astrotrain barreled through a cluster of drones, his mass alone enough to send them scattering like debris in a storm. Soundwave moved with clinical detachment, deploying Laserbeak to harry the enemy while he systematically disabled them with pinpoint shots. Rumble and Frenzy, laughing wildly, gleefully ripped into the drones, pounding the ground to destabilize them before finishing them off recklessly.

The drones were almost laughable in their ineffectiveness—merely a nuisance, but a persistent one.

And then one drone turned, optics locking onto Starscream. All of the drones in the room stopped attacking the other mechs. They turned toward Shockwave and Starscream's hiding place with one single movement and advanced quickly with frightening focus.

From another door on the far side of the room, a fresh wave of drones poured in, moving with a terrifying, unified precision—no longer stumbling, no longer chaotic. They advanced like Sharkticons on a fresh kill.

Skywarp and Thundercracker landed in front of the console, null rays already primed. They fired, cutting down the first line of drones, but more took their place in an unending tide.

The Autobots and Decepticons hesitated, confused at the strange coordination. However, they all saw the drones’ main target, and knew that he could not defend himself.

Shockwave saw a small smirk appear on Starscream’s face. He seemed pleased that both sides were coming to his aid.

A drone slipped past the defensive line, lunging toward Starscream. But Starscream was already moving, thrusters igniting, sending him up and away, higher than any immediate threat. But there was a flicker of uncertainty in Starscream’s movements as he searched for a perch, an escape route.

And then they came for Shockwave, too.

Shockwave knew that Megatron wanted them both alive. He wanted Starscream’s code and Shockwave’s compliance to get it, and he would stop at nothing to get both, even turning Shockwave’s creations against him. That certainty did not stop Shockwave from lifting his cannon and firing with cold efficiency, cutting through his former creations. He made a note: next time, he would ensure they were built beyond the reach of such easy reprogramming.

A chain lashed through the air, wrapping around his arm and pulling it to the side. He pulled back instinctively, servos straining, easily overpowering the drone—until more joined in. The line jerked, pulling him forward, the collective weight dragging against his stance.

Skywarp and Thundercracker flitted through the battle, dodging misfired shots from confused Autobots and equally bewildered Decepticons. Their focus never strayed from Starscream, who twisted mid-air, narrowly avoiding another set of grasping chains.

Then, the attention of the room shifted.

The telltale whine of a fusion cannon charging sent a ripple through the battlefield. Conditioned by war, the Autobots instinctively dove for cover before they even registered the source.

Optimus Prime abandoned his argument mid-sentence, gun already in hand, as he sprinted toward the sound of Megatron’s scathing laughter. He was immediately stopped by other Decepticons getting in his way, but his focus was clearly on the newly-arrived player to the field.

Shockwave had once thought that Megatron’s presence on the battlefield was inspiring. Megatron was a force to be reckoned with, a being of supreme, unchecked power, unforgiving, and caustic to those who dared oppose him. He was impressive, commanded respect from his army, and would not let anyone look down on him.

Perhaps that was what made Starscream always so… unique. Starscream had always been the only one to look at him and see through it. He was the only one who didn’t worship at the altar of his strength. He stood beside Megatron not out of reverence, but necessity. He had always spoken of leadership as something fluid, transient. Megatron was useful, for now. But never untouchable. Never a god.

And perhaps that had always been Starscream’s greatest heresy. And his punishment had been the loss of everything.

Shockwave barely had time to register the realization before a chain shot up, fast and ruthless, snaring Starscream around his shoulder vent. It pulled, and Starscream sank dangerously down a few feet.

“Fuck!” he shouted as another chain sprang into the air to grab his wing. His thrusters sputtered with the strain, but he was overwhelmed. He was pulled roughly to the ground, and then he was pinned face down with drones tying him up.

Shockwave noticed that some drones were firing at Skywarp and Thundercracker on the other side of the space bridge. No one would be able to reach Starscream in time to assist him.

Shockwave exvented sharply, giving in and letting the drones on the other side of his chain secure him. He was wrenched downward, hitting the ground hard, plating scraping against metal. Starscream landed beside him with an unceremonious thud, already struggling against his bindings.

 He was bound… yet again.

“Shockwave!” Starscream cried. “Are you functional?”

“Relatively,” Shockwave muttered, twisting his wrist in a futile attempt to loosen the restraints. His optic flickered. “I am developing a distinct dislike for being bound.”

Starscream let out a breathy, exasperated chuckle despite their predicament. “Tell me about it.”

Shockwave’s helm tilted slightly. “I thought you wanted to be captured?”

“Not by mindless automatons!” Starscream snapped, wings twitching in irritation. “I can’t manipulate them!”

Shockwave let out a rare sound of dry amusement. “A flaw in the plan, then.”

“A gaping hole, more like.” Starscream let his head fall back against the floor for a moment before turning his optics back to Shockwave, expression hardening. “Megatron’s going to be furious when he realizes he can’t rip the code from me.”

“He usually resorts to violence when stymied,” Shockwave replied. “Please ensure I am in front of you when that happens.”

Starscream’s optics softened, and then he closed them, his head dipping low to his chest. “There will be none of that. No more sacrifices.”

Shockwave wanted to inquire further, to try and unravel what was happening in that marvel of a processor, but the drones were moving them to another location. They were pulled up and carried to the far side of the command room despite their struggle. Skywarp and Thundercracker saw what had happened and attempted to get close but were held off by targeted fire.

Just as they were about to be carried out of the room with Megatron looking on with triumph and glee, the space bridge pinged for activation. Shockwave gave a look to Starscream who smiled widely, giving him an eager nod.

Shockwave was able to angle his bound hands to angle his gun at the console and hit the receive button. It whirred to life, opening the portal and letting the new mechs through.

 

---

 

 

Starscream grinned, almost laughing in relief when he saw them.

Flanked by Aerialbots, Skyfire descended from the platform and looked around at the chaos. He immediately found Starscream and Shockwave, bound and captured by the drones, and his expression transformed into fury. His mask descended onto his face, and he surged forward with a gun drawn. The Aerialbots jumped into the air and looked ready to combine into Superion at any moment.

Megatron snarled. “Decepticons! Repel these invaders!” The room erupted into even greater chaos as the Aerialbots took to the air, their alt-modes cutting through the haze of energon sparks and smoke. Skyfire tore through the drones with contemptuous ease, his rage evident. Starscream didn’t realize the calm, gentle giant he’d come to know was capable of such… anger. The Decepticons were similarly confused and disorderly, trying to comply with the orders but not understanding Megatron’s true aim.

Starscream saw Megatron turn sharply, his optics narrowing as Optimus Prime reached him. Optimus threw a punch, which Megatron dodged, returning a punch back. Optimus took the hit with a grunt. They locked onto each other’s hands, pushing each other for dominance, but Megatron threw Optimus off and away from him. Megatron snarled, and turned his focus off of Optimus and back toward the middle of the room. The charging hum of his fusion cannon intensified, its energy building into a crescendo as he aimed his cannon right at Skyfire.

Starscream found it interesting that Megatron thought Skyfire was the biggest threat.

“Do not interfere!” Megatron roared, his voice booming over the cacophony. “This is your last warning!”

Skyfire didn’t falter. He planted himself firmly in Megatron’s path. “I won’t let you take him,” he replied coldly, his weapon raising to aim directly at the Decepticon leader. “Not again, not ever!”

Starscream twisted against his bindings, his wings jerking in protest. “Wait!” His voice cracked with desperation, but it didn’t slow Skyfire’s advance.

He might ruin everything if he actually killed Megatron at this moment! Or worse, if he got hurt…

Starscream looked up at Thundercracker and Skywarp who were circling the battlefield, their weapons picking off drones in between dodging enemy fire. Skywarp teleported suddenly, appearing next to Starscream, and cut through some of the cables restraining him. A volley of laser fire from some drones forced him to retreat.

“Skywarp, focus!” Thundercracker snapped, firing off a barrage of missiles to clear their path. “We can’t get them free if we’re scrap metal!”

Skywarp stuck out his glossa petulantly at Thundercracker, laughing when his trinemate scoffed at his antics. Starscream was both charmed and irritated at his trinemate, as well.

But a drone tackled Skywarp, and he fell next to Skyfire. Before Starscream could react, Optimus Prime blocked Starscream’s view as he attempted another attack.

Optimus Prime charged forward, his energon axe flaring to life. He swung wide, forcing Megatron to parry with his arm. Their clash sent a shockwave through the room, temporarily halting all movement as sparks cascaded from the impact.

“Stop this!” Optimus declared, pushing Megatron back step by step.

Megatron let out a guttural laugh. “Why should I?”

“This whole thing—it’s gone too far! Stand down or I will put you down!”

"You invaded my base! And I’ll pick you off one by one until you are all eradicated—and then I will do as I please!” Megatron hit a hit a pressure plate on the ground, causing a column to appear out of the ground under Optimus’s pedes and raise him up to the ceiling. A few other columns appeared, lifting up to the ceiling, apparently designed to stabilize the room in the event of a energon cube explosion.

Now free from interruption, Megatron shifted his fusion cannon to aim at Skyfire's abdomen. Starscream's spark clenched as he took a sharp invent.

The cannon’s barrel glowed, and in a split second, Megatron’s aim was knocked off by a stray shot from Silverbolt. The imminent blast would not hit the intended target of Skyfire, but instead hit Skywarp.

Time seemed to freeze.

Skywarp’s optics were locked on Starscream, oblivious to the deadly beam of energy about to race toward him. Starscream thrashed against the drone holding him down, his voice rising above the din. “Warp! Move, you idiot!”

In startling clarity, Starscream realized the cannon would rip right through Skywarp. The mech wasn’t paying attention, his focus completely on Starscream that he didn’t even realize his fate was set and that he was going to die.

Starscream saw it all happen in his mind. Skywarp, with a gaping hole in his chest where his beautiful spark used to be, laying on the ground. He would sputter and gurgle out helpless words of pleading. Starscream would rush to his side and hold his hand as he slowly went gray.

Starscream had never seen anyone die before. His first would be Skywarp, the first mech he loved and the first mech he had kissed.

Thundercracker was on the other side of the battlefield but saw the events unfolding, too. His face slackened in regret, his optics closing. He was too far away to help and clearly didn’t want to see it happen.

Skywarp managed to push himself off the ground and smiled triumphantly at Starscream, even as the hideous purple light lit up his back. Skywarp wasn’t even going to be collateral damage; it was just a needless, pointless death that would be Starscream’s fault.

Starscream moved toward him.

In the terrible moment, Starscream realized that everything he had worked for was meaningless if he didn’t have everyone with him.

How fragile his future was. How tenuous and insecure—he was already touted as weak and vulnerable, and yet here he was, further solidifying that dim view of him by making his future tied to mechs that would perish so quickly.

He understood, with horrible comprehension, what had turned the old Starscream into himself. The specter that haunted his dreams and the future he could become—especially with everyone pushing, pulling, molding him into something that resembled that other mech. He knew now though, this was an experience not unique to him. Everyone felt this at some point, he just had a different flavor.

He didn’t want to give up the future he desired. He wanted to grasp it and hold it and never let it go.

He reached onto his back and gripped the drone behind him. Hard.

Starscream would not let Skywarp die. He would not let the future, as he envisioned it, die. He was protecting his ideal, but he was protecting part of himself. These mechs that had come to help him, they all were his now, whether they liked it or not.

Pacification might try and argue with him, but one thing the damned program understood was fucking ownership.

Skywarp reached him, falling against his cockpit, wrapping his arms around Starscream’s lower back and holding him close. Starscream could see the light of the cannon building and then fire. Someone yelled, Starscream couldn’t be sure who. The purple light lit up his face and his vision.

Starscream hurtled the drone over his helm.

He managed, against all odds, to throw the drone in the path.

He didn’t have time to think about it. He didn’t have time to realize this shouldn’t be possible. All he thought of was Skywarp had to be protected and he had to be okay.

The drone took the full force of the blast, standing ramrod straight as if electrified for a few moments as its back metal melted. Then it was gone, disintegrating into nothing in the force of the purple glow.

Starscream had managed to pull Skywarp out of the way just in time by falling down on top of him and shielding him with his own frame. The blast of horrible purple energy crackled over his back as it pushed past the drone's vaporized frame.

The blast was loud. Starscream had never heard it before, but like many things, the sound was familiar enough to his frame that it trembled in fear. His audials had automatically calibrated to mute, knowing the blast should have blown out his components. His struts and gyros had tensed and a wave of nausea accompanied the smell of burning ozone and singed metal. His wings had cast down tight against the ground, and despite everything, both he and Skywarp had escaped the blast unscathed.

Skywarp was babbling, reaching up for his face as his hearing slowly came back.

“Star—Star, Star—baby, you okay? Tell me you’re okay! Primus I didn’t even see that; it would have gone right through me! Starscream, say something honey, please—"

Starscream reached up to his cheek and laid his hand on top of Skywarp’s. “I’m okay, ‘Warp. We’re both okay.”

Skywarp buried his face in Starscream’s neck, crying softly. Starscream held him back, slowly looking around to make sure no more imminent threats existed.

As it was, the battlefield was… silent.

The Prime was staring at him with wide optics. Megatron’s cannon was pointed down, still smoking, and his mouth was slightly open in shock or rage. Thundercracker swallowed and then quickly ran across the room, sliding across the floor to embrace Starscream and Skywarp in a hug.

Everyone was staring at them. Shockwave destroyed his drone and then joined the trine, standing next to them in a clearly protective stance.

“This cannot be possible,” Megatron said, confused. “You… you are pacified. You should not have been able to destroy a drone to protect yourself.”

Shockwave stared back. “He was protecting Skywarp. The nuance here is important.”

Megatron’s optics darkened. “The code is faulty. You messed it up.”

“Would that I could have rendered it faulty. Then maybe some of this would never have occurred,” Shockwave replied. “Pacification remains running through his systems. But Starscream was able to prioritize the life of his trinemate over the fate of a non-sentient drone. The logic is acceptable to the program.”

“I thought Pacification did not allow him that choice,” Prime asked, lowering his weapon. “Previously, he was unable to damage property.”

“The program is not ironclad,” Shockwave replied. “But this act does not interfere with the program. Life was spared. Peace remains.”

“It’s ruined,” Megatron snapped. “The program is meant to harangue the pacified into inaction! If he can overcome it, then anyone can.”

“I’d like to see you try it,” Starscream bit out, glaring over his trinemate’s shoulder. “But yes. Your slipshod plans have disintegrated before your optics. How awful for you.”

Megatron grimaced. “Watch your glossa.”

Starscream rolled his optics, and slowly extricated himself from Skywarp’s needy embrace. He stood and stared at Megatron, his wings flaring back. “I’ll do as I please.”

Megatron stepped forward menacingly, but Shockwave trained his gun arm on him, his optic glowing a fierce yellow.

Starscream stepped up next to Shockwave rocking forward on his pedes. “I think it’s time we all had a little talk, don’t you think?”

“Who’s we?” Megatron asked, sneering.

“You, the Prime, and me. A nice little chat.” Starscream looked to Shockwave and smiled, tossing his helm in the direction of the Space Bridge. Blessedly, he didn’t need more explanation.

“I’m not interested in talking,” Megatron replied. “I’m interested in ending this—”

“That’s going to be a little hard without the rest of your army,” Starscream cut him off.

Shockwave had his gun arm pointed at the console.

Megatron’s optics widened in shock.

Optimus turned back to his Autobots. “Elita, Jazz—take Shockwave out now, before he destroys the bridge!”

Jazz sighed and began to move, but Elita grabbed his arm, staring straight ahead at Starscream.

Optimus’s face darkened. “Ironhide, Cliffjumper—”

“I think a talk is a good idea, Optimus,” Elita said, her voice firm.

Megatron laughed. “What loyalty they display to you, Optimus!”

Starscream walked over to the space bridge and stood in front of the platform. “I don’t know what you are laughing about when half your mechs are livid that they’ve been fighting these drones you reprogrammed.”

Megatron’s smile evaporated as he furtively looked around at the Decepticons near him, looking a little worse for wear.

“Shockwave,” Starscream called. “Send us somewhere isolated, if you could.”

“Of course.” Shockwave typed some things into the console, and the portal lit up in a swirling vortex of colors indicating it was activated.

“After you,” Starscream said, smirking. “And if you don’t, we’ll all be stuck on Cybertron for some time.” He leaned forward, whispering in a conspiratorial voice, “And I’m sure you’ve done a headcount, Megatron. The Autobots outnumber you two-to-one right now.”

Megatron stared at him, anger and hate radiating off of him like heat. Starscream wasn’t sure he’d go through with it, as stubborn and prideful as he was, but he did have hope.

Megatron grit his denta and stomped forward, entering the portal without a second look.

“Optimus,” Starscream said.

Optimus was still looking at his comrades, and the mech looked positively sparkbroken. He sighed and then turned and went into the portal too.

Starscream invented, and followed. He turned at the precipice, looking at his trine and then at Shockwave. “I’ll be right back,” he said with a wink.

And then he was gone.

 

---

 

 

“What is this?” Megatron asked. His voice had a hush to it, not quite full of awe, but definitely full of wariness.

They found themselves in a room shaped like a bubble with a bright, swirling kaleidoscope of colors on the walls around them. There was no discernible light source, but the room was still well-lit. At opposite ends of the room, there were pathways shrouded in darkness; one was the way they had just come, and the other ostensibly went deeper in.

There appeared to be no end to the pathway.

“Where are we?” asked Optimus, similarly perplexed.

“Infraspace,” Starscream replied. “Shockwave chose well. He told me sometimes he uses this place to interrogate prisoners.”

A table and three chairs were in the middle of the room, and Starscream sat in one while indicating that the other two should similarly sit.

Optimus hesitated a moment, staring warily. After another moment, he stepped forward and sat.

Megatron remained standing. “So, why are we here?”

Starscream smiled tiredly. “As I said before, I think it’s time we had a chat, don’t you think?”

Megatron sneered. “I’m not sure you have the credentials.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Starscream replied back blandly. “You’re the one who demoted me.”

“He’s the one that pacified you, not me!” Megatron replied hotly, pointing at Optimus.

“And you’re the one who left me on that battlefield to get captured, decided we had to wipe my memories, and hit me not too long ago. Care to play this blame game more? You won’t win.”

Megatron stomped forward. “I could remind you, dear seeker, that I’m not trapped with you, but you are also trapped with me. No one could stop me if I tore your wings off right now.”

“He could,” Starscream said, jerking his thumb towards Optimus.

Apparently surprised at being dragged into this, Optimus shifted in his seat. “I assume you brought us here on purpose? And you can send us back?”

“That depends entirely on you,” Starscream replied. “I am able to contact Shockwave to bring us back anytime I wish, so tearing my wings off might not make me inclined to do so.”

Megatron smirked. “Depends on how slowly I do it.”

“Enough,” Optimus said. “What do you want?”

Starscream placed his hands in his lap, sitting back in the chair. “I want us to end the war.”

“Sure. I kill him, the war is ended,” Megatron said, pulling out his fusion cannon and aiming it at Optimus. “Easy.”

“Of course. If you can do it in one shot, then I’m sure we have nothing else to talk about.”

Megatron hesitated. “One shot?”

“That’s all I’d allow you. Because you have yet to kill Optimus Prime so far, I think it’s not necessarily because you lack motivation or will, but I actually think you lack the power. You can’t kill him in one shot, therefore he’ll continue to come back and get stronger.”

Megatron’s somewhat happy demeanor vanished and was replaced with something... darker. “You think I lack the ability?”

Starscream shrugged. “You would have done it by now. And you,” he said turning to Optimus. “Lack the motivation and will. Maybe not the ability; I’m not sure about that Matrix of yours.”

Optimus’s optics narrowed. “I don’t lack the desire or willpower to do what needs to be done.”

“But you do, because you only want to do the things that keep your tenuous hold on your faction strong. If you take the wrong step, make the wrong decision, go too far, you’ll lose your followers, and with them, the moral high ground. The only thing that separates you from Megatron.”

Optimus stared. Megatron started to laugh. “This is astounding,” he said, finally sitting down on the chair. “Do more, please. Continue to dress him down.”

“Do you ever wonder what would happen if you two were suddenly removed from the war entirely?” Starscream asked, ignoring Megatron.

Both Optimus and Megatron suddenly looked very uncomfortable, perhaps suddenly realizing their predicament. Right now, they were both gone from their armies and were trapped against their will. “Things would descend to chaos,” Optimus said quietly.

“Are you so sure?” Starscream asked. “Do you have such little faith in your mechs?”

“Yes,” Megatron said, bitterly.

“No,” Optimus said at the same time. “I have faith in them, but they… rely upon me.”

Starscream tilted his helm. “Do you think you are perpetuating the war yourselves?”

Megatron huffed in annoyance. “I wanted energy, I go out and find it, Optimus stops me, we war. I want to kill Optimus Prime and all of his sanctimonious Autobots so that I can get more energy. All Primes are hard to kill, we war for a long time. This is not that complicated.”

“Why don’t you negotiate for the energy instead? Wouldn’t that be more efficient?”

Megatron narrowed his optics. “Why, when I can just take it? I have no need to negotiate with insects.”

Starscream turned to Optimus. “Why do you want to stop Megatron from reviving Cybertron?”

Optimus blinked. “That’s not what he—"

“Yes it is! He’s right.”

“That’s not the only thing he’ll use it for,” Optimus said, scowling. “He’ll use it to make bigger weapons to hurt the people of this planet and eradicate the Autobots. We’re the only ones that can stand against him.”

“I see,” Starscream said. “So when the Decepticons left the planet that you want to defend, you helped them, right?”

Optimus’s neutral demeanor darkened.

“Oh,” Megatron replied, leaning back in his chair. “He’s right, Prime. Why didn’t you let us leave if we’re such a danger to your precious humans?”

“There was no need to let you loose on the galaxy,” Optimus replied, surly.

“You just mean, I can’t have anything nice,” Megatron said, smirking. “You’re right, Starscream, he's transparently a hypocrite.”

Starscream glared at him. “You took up leadership of the Decepticons to help overthrow the Primes and the caste system. And yet you want to pacify your enemies. Like a Prime used to.”

Megatron’s grin dropped. “Do not compare me to a Prime.”

“Stop acting like the worst of them,” Starscream snapped. “You as well,” he said, looking back at Optimus. “My situation wasn’t exactly an accident.”

Optimus glanced at Megatron, who had gone very still. “It wasn’t?” Megatron asked.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know,” Optimus replied, bitter. “You would have done the same in my position.”

“Perhaps with less of the theatrics,” Megatron replied. His gaze hardened. “You effectively killed my second-in-command.”

“No, your pride did that. You didn’t have to wipe his memories.”

“Oh, because you’d already copied them?”

Starscream’s wings twitched and he inwardly cursed when Megatron noticed. Starscream tried to deflect. “Are you two truly the leaders of the greatest armies in the galaxy? You argue like sparklings.”

“We’re getting nowhere!” Optimus said, throwing his hands up. “It’s always like this! Every single time we are forced to have a real conversation, Megatron behaves like a petulant child who had his favorite toy broken.”

“Was I a toy?” Starscream asked quietly.

Megatron gave him a side-glance, as if appraising him. Optimus held very still, watching carefully.

“Oh,” Starscream said after a moment. “You did mourn me.”

“Preposterous. I celebrated,” Megatron replied.

Starscream laughed. “Please tell me more lies. I saw your face when I first came online, and I only now recognize it for what it was.” He leaned forward in his chair. “If you were so keen my death, I'm curious why you never killed me yourself, then. I doubt you lacked the ability there, too?”

“I thought about it! But you were useful, when you tried,” Megatron replied. “Now you’ve gone and entwined yourself with Shockwave of all mechs—"

Optimus gave a surprised look.

“—and it feels like I don’t even know you—"

“You don’t,” Starscream replied. “You keep comparing me to a ghost.” He shook out his wings, taking a deep invent. “And while I know you grieved my death, I know something changed. Some realization, some new information, some kind of thought creeped into your processor. You realized too late that you could have done something else with me if you had tried.”

Megatron went silent.

“You could have molded me me into something perfect for you, if not for my Trine.”

Megatron’s look hardened.

“And so when the Autobots attacked, you were a little slow to defend the base.”

Optimus reared back.

“When my Trine was dead, would I be fit to decorate your berth then?” Starscream practically snarled, his voice furious.

“This is quite the accusation,” Megatron murmured.

“Primus,” Optimus said, putting his face in his hands.

“You were about to try something similar,” Starscream said to Optimus irritably. “I doubt Mirage came up with all of those ideas to erase my memories again and keep me around by himself.”

“That’s not… entirely true,” Optimus said, looking like he was going to be sick.

“You are awfully full of yourself!” Megatron stated. “As if everything revolves around you and what we want to do to you.”

“What am I supposed to think when I have the leader of my faction ruining his own base if only to get a crack at me!”

Megatron stood suddenly and was standing over Starscream, looking down at him with blazing red optics. He had pulled his arm back, preparing to punch Starscream in the face.

But he hesitated.

“Why do you still provoke me?” Megatron asked, his voice hoarse.

Starscream looked up at him with a lazy, knowing smile. “You clearly were thinking of someone else. So I’ll ask again, what went wrong? You made a declaration that you would protect me. What changed?”

“I never said that.”

“You did. Everyone confirmed it. You promised my old self you would take care of me, and he agreed to abide by your rules.”

Megatron stared at Starscream, and then rolled his optics. “So, what, I have to answer your questions before you’ll let us go? Or else your fans will destroy me?”

Starscream laughed. “That’s something I’ve observed about you. When you don’t want to answer the questions, you get surly. But not wanting to answer this question does answer it in a way. Clearly something did change, you’re not denying it. So what didn’t go according to plan?”

A long moment passed and Starscream counted internally on his chronometer. He knew from observation that Megatron had been immensely patient so far for him, and Starscream didn’t have much time to get through to him before he resorted to violence.

Finally, Megatron broke the silence. “You. Always you. I assumed when you woke up that you would be the same. I assumed that I would still have the same loathing for you, but I didn’t. I only had regret. And I hated that feeling.” He exvented harshly. “You didn’t exactly come to me as a blank slate, but I realized how I was… contributing.”

“So my existence held up a mirror to you and reflected what you do to people?”

Megatron stared off into nothing. “You still know how to push me into do things I regret.”

“Megatron,” Optimus said tiredly. “Stop blaming him.”

“Especially if you actually mean the old me,” Starscream added.

“No, actually,” Megaron said sitting back down. “I mean you. Different and yet the same.”

For the first time in his short life, Starscream realized Megatron was seeing him, not a broken version of his former self.

Starscream didn’t like how Megatron sounded. It wasn’t the content of the words that somehow hurt, but the clear emotion behind it. He wanted to stay angry at Megatron, and if this was going to work, he had to change tactics. “If I were to go to your factions now, and explain what you both were trying to unleash upon each other—how do you think they’d take it?”

Megatron frowned. “They’d believe I was doing what was right—"

“Would they? Is that why you kept your desire to clone my code a secret?”

“They would follow me,” Megatron declared, but his voice was less certain.

Starscream shook his helm. “You were already losing yourself and your confidence. You won’t be able to get it back.”

Megatron stared daggers into Starscream, but kept his mouth shut. Optimus sighed.

Starscream just flicked his wings. “I realize I was a dry run for future endeavors. You probably thought I wouldn’t figure out my situation and immediately start to use it to my advantage. You thought… wrong. I have more mechs on my side out there, willing to listen and work with me to stopping you and the war.”

Megatron and Optimus both stared at him as if seeing him for the first time. Realizing that he had been a threat to their leadership since the moment he had been born. And they had given him every advantage.

“You only have yourself to blame as the authors of this idiocy,” Starscream continued, his stare hardening. “This was inevitable.”

Those words must have struck Megatron finally, because his shoulders slumped. What “this” was had many meanings, and Starscream meant all of them. “I wanted things to be different this time,” he said.

Feeling the shift, the exhaustion of everyone in attendance, Starscream looked at both of them. “What will it take to end this war?”

Optimus and Megatron sagged in their chairs.

Notes:

The final chapter and a bonus epilogue will be posted on Friday, 07Feb2025 (6 days). It's written and mostly edited, I'm just wrapping it up. Thanks for sticking with me, and the comments have fueled me. Let me know what you think!

Chapter 47: Ave Atque Vale

"Is he going to be okay with them?" Thundercracker asked, glancing worriedly at the swirling vortex of the portal.

Shockwave knew the odds were not entirely favorable, but he also understood the need to lie at this moment. "They will not harm him, as they cannot return otherwise."

"Of all the people in the universe, I feel like those two would find a way to hurt him. Either on purpose or by accident."

Shockwave tilted his helm downward in silent agreement. "Their… lack of regard for him has been disturbing. But I do think we've all ended up hurting him in some way."

Thundercracker’s face tightened, his expression stricken. Shockwave observed the reaction and realized, with some discomfort, that he may have said something terribly rude. Strange feeling.

"Sorry," Thundercracker replied after a moment, shaking his helm with a wry smile. "I think I've just heard Starscream say something similar."

Shockwave relaxed slightly and nodded. "Then it is a matter of reducing the damage when possible and creating an action plan dedicated to ensuring it happens less often."

Thundercracker snorted. "Agreed. In not so many words."

"How long do you think it’ll take?" Skywarp piped up, resting his chin on his folded arms, perched lazily on the console. He looked utterly morose and pathetic.

"Infraspace runs at a faster time rate, according to my calculations," Shockwave replied. "For them, it could be days, but for us, only a few hours will pass. The exact rate is variable, but I estimate it will take longer than we would prefer."

Skywarp exhaled dramatically and fluttered his lips in an obnoxious, juvenile noise. "I hate waiting with these bozo-bots."

"They’re not so bad," Thundercracker said, shooting a glance toward the unofficial Autobot side of the room. "As long as they stay over there."

Shockwave followed his gaze, observing the uneasy truce playing out in real-time. The Autobots stood huddled together, throwing wary glances toward the Decepticons, who were watching them with equal unease. Ironhide, out of the loop as ever, had briefly attempted to take a more aggressive stance, but Jazz, Elita, Skyfire—really everyone—had quickly shut him down.

The Decepticons, for their part, seemed faintly unsettled by the lack of outright hostilities. But true to form, they also had a tendency toward laziness. Rather than taking the initiative to start a fight, most had chosen to wait and see how their leader reacted. No one wanted to commit to anything before gauging which way the wind was blowing.

Still, there was an unmistakable crackle in the air—an energy thrumming beneath the surface, anticipation coiling tight in everyone's sparks. Even Shockwave, not particularly attuned to the emotional fluctuations of others, could feel it.

It was different. Something had changed.

A small ping sounded from the console, and Shockwave immediately began typing in response.

"He’s given me the signal," he said, his tone calm as always. Thundercracker straightened, and at his movement, the tension in the room intensified. Every mech present became more aware, standing at attention as the portal flared brighter.

Then, Megatron stepped through.

His imposing form darkened the entrance, and for a moment, the entire room held its breath. Every optic was trained on him, searching for some hint of what had transpired. His expression was unreadable, his posture firm but betraying nothing. He surveyed the gathered crowd in heavy silence before stepping off the platform without a word.

Optimus Prime appeared next. Unlike Megatron, he did not linger to stare at the assembled onlookers. Instead, he immediately made his way toward his commanders, speaking to them in low, urgent tones.

There was another long pause. The tension thickened.

And then, finally, Starscream emerged.

He stepped through the portal, looking utterly spent, but undeniably unharmed.

Before he had even taken a full step forward, Skywarp vanished in a flash of teleportation, only to reappear a nanosecond later, tackling Starscream into a tight embrace.

"You're back! You're okay! You’re back—I knew you’d be fine, but—frag, I was still worried—you always get into trouble, you know that? And we weren’t there—"

Skywarp’s voice poured out in a rapid, frantic stream, his words overlapping as he clung to Starscream like he might disappear again if he let go.

Thundercracker followed at a more controlled pace but wasted no time in wrapping both of them in a firm, grounding embrace. He nuzzled against Starscream’s helm in quiet relief, laughing softly when Starscream huffed, slightly embarrassed but not pushing them away.

Starscream turned his gaze to Shockwave, and for a brief moment, their optics met.

Shockwave felt the weight of that look—saw the exhaustion, the triumph, the sheer depth of everything Starscream had just been through. And then, Starscream smiled at him, small and fond, a smile meant just for him.

Shockwave nodded. And though he did not experience emotions in the same way others did, he felt… relief.

Turning back to the console, he silently deactivated the portal, his digits already moving to initiate the space bridge sequence. Should everyone fall in line with their leaders’ decisions, they would soon return to their respective locations. There was no logical reason for further hostilities to continue.

And then, Starscream’s voice cut through the heavy silence.

"I believe we have reached an agreement," he announced, his tone carrying with it the weight of finality. He glanced toward Megatron and Optimus, waiting for them to confirm.

Optimus nodded once, the Autobots stirring with hushed excitement. Megatron, ever reluctant to admit anything, remained silent for a beat longer before finally giving a stiff nod.

A slow, victorious smile curled across Starscream’s lips. "Then it is finished," he declared. "The Autobots and Decepticons have agreed to a truce. All hostilities will cease until a formal peace treaty can be established. As the self-appointed representative of the Neutral faction, I will be assisting in these discussions until such a time that we can fully declare this war over. Each faction will return to Earth to explain the next steps to their armies. We will reconvene here in a few days to begin negotiations."

A heavy silence followed.

The weight of the moment sank into every mech present.

And then—

"WHOOP!"

Skywarp let out an ear-splitting cheer, and before anyone could react, he grabbed Starscream by the back and, with a delighted grin, dipped him dramatically into a kiss.

Starscream made a surprised, indignant noise, but Skywarp was completely unbothered, grinning like an absolute fool as he pressed their mouths together.

For half a second, no one knew how to react.

Then, the room erupted.

Laughter rang out, mingling with shouts of celebration. A few Autobots whooped in amusement. Someone whistled. Even some of the more standoffish Decepticons chuckled. Across the room, a few tentative conversations shifted into something lighter, and the energy in the air transformed—excitement overtaking uncertainty.

Shockwave dutifully activated the space bridge, watching as the first groups began to move toward their respective destinations.

The truce had begun.

The war was ending.

And for the first time in a long, long time—hope felt real.

 

---

 

"I'm so proud of you," Thundercracker murmured, pressing his nose against the side of Starscream’s helm. His voice was steady but warm, full of something deep and unshaken. "I know it’s not completely over, but… we’re finally on the path toward it."

Skywarp tightened his arms around Starscream’s waist, gripping him like he was afraid he’d disappear at any moment. The force of it was grounding, reassuring in a way Starscream didn’t quite want to acknowledge.

Thundercracker's gaze sharpened as he studied him. “Are you alright?”

Why was he asking? “Of course, I’m—oh,” Starscream exhaled as his knees buckled beneath him, his entire frame abruptly giving out.

He barely registered the way Skywarp caught him with a grunt, keeping him from hitting the ground.

"I knew it," Skywarp groused, holding him up with a firm grip. "I knew those fraggers hurt you!"

Starscream’s helm lolled back against Skywarp’s shoulder, optics dimming. “No, ‘Warp, I’m pretty sure this is just… exhaustion.” His voice was quiet, sluggish.

Thundercracker sighed, relieved but still exasperated as he pulled Starscream’s arm over his shoulder. Skywarp did the same on the other side, and together they bore his weight between them. He felt so heavy like his own frame was pulling him deeper into recharge against his will. He barely had the strength to keep his helm upright, so he didn’t try. Thundercracker’s hold was steady and strong, and Skywarp’s was no less firm.

“You’ve had a hell of a—well.” Thundercracker hesitated. “How long were you in there?”

“Longer than I expected, I guess,” Starscream rasped, his voice rough with fatigue. “But in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t take too long for the idiots to start talking rationally. It was clear to me that they… wanted to talk. But were never forced to.” His words were growing softer, his mind drifting. Thoughts weren’t coming together as sharply as they should. “I need to stay awake to make sure—”

“They’ve got it,” Thundercracker reassured him, glancing over his shoulder. “Between Shockwave, Elita, Prowl, Jazz, the Aerialbots, Skyfire, the cassettes, the Constructicons—” his voice grew more incredulous the longer he listed names. “Is there anyone you didn’t bring onto Team Starscream?”

“I got Ramjet too,” Starscream smirked faintly.  Skywarp frowned. “I don’t think I got the little red Autobot, though. Looks like the little yellow one.”

“Cliffjumper.” Thundercracker snorted. “I’m not surprised.”

Skywarp, out of sheer habit, palmed the door control to the hallway. The panel, damaged by blaster fire, crackled and sparked in protest before grinding uselessly in place. He rolled his optics and, without a second thought, delivered a high kick to the remnants of the door, knocking them down with a loud clang.

“The rods that are shoved up that mech’s tailpipe are legendary,” he muttered as he stepped over the debris.

“Vivid imagery, as usual,” Starscream drawled, optics slipping shut as he let himself float in and out of awareness, lulled by the steady movement of his trinemates carrying him.

They talked quietly as they navigated the halls, voices low and steady, a hum of sound that kept him tethered to the present. They made their way through the damaged base, maneuvering through corridors that still bore the evidence of the battle they’d just endured. But it was over, and the silence that followed was a blessing rather than something ominous.

It was comforting to hear them and feel them close when things were relatively peaceful. He eagerly looked forward to sleeping next to them and hearing the soft vibrations of their engines as they huddled around him in a berth.

Or. Apparently, a floor.

“Oh, don’t whine,” Thundercracker chastised, laughing as he held Starscream close. “We’ll make it more comfortable. Skywarp is gathering stuff now.”

Starscream sighed, missing their berth back at the Victory base on Earth. Thinking about the size, the softness, the plush coverings, and even the smell of his trinemates lingering over the pillows almost brought him to tears. But for the first time in ages time, he knew he’d get to see it again soon. The thought filled him with incredible warmth.

Skywarp reappeared with arms full of scavenged pillows, blankets, and a round berth pad. He threw them down and started to arrange them into a makeshift nest. “They’re old and musty, but they beat the bare floor.”

Frankly, Starscream didn’t care if it was rocks at this point. He eagerly leaned forward and toppled him and Thundercracker into the mess. Thundercracker cried out in mock protest as they fell, but then quickly chuckled, slotting his frame against Starscream in a way that felt right.

Starscream shifted as Skywarp dropped beside them and flopped over dramatically. Starscream grumbled, nudging at Skywarp’s wing in mild protest before settling more comfortably between them.

Warmth surrounded him on either side as their fields gently meshed, crackling softly at the edges in a way that meant safety.

For a while, they didn’t talk, just lay there together, the occasional soft hum of cooling vents and quiet clicks of shifting plating filling the silence. Thundercracker’s hand drifted to rest against his back, and Skywarp’s field curled protectively around them both.

Eventually, Starscream’s voice—softer now, weariness seeping into every syllable—broke the quiet.

“…It’s finally over.”

Thundercracker hummed in agreement. “It seems like it’ll take.”

Skywarp yawned, his field pulsing something fondly, if a little mischievous. “Try not to snore too loud, Star.”

Starscream smirked weakly, optics dimming as he let exhaustion claim him. “No promises.”

Thundercracker huffed a laugh. Skywarp grumbled something about how he didn’t couldn’t promise not to snore either, but Starscream barely heard him as he finally drifted into recharge, safe and warm between them.

 

---

 

Starscream stirred, rousing from the comfortable cocoon of warmth he had been nestled in between his trinemates. Skywarp’s field buzzed faintly in his light recharge, while Thundercracker’s steady hum remained unwavering beside him. They were solid, familiar, his—but tonight, something in him still craved more.

Slipping free from their embrace, he moved carefully, slow and deliberate so as not to disturb them. Skywarp muttered something unintelligible in his recharge, shifting slightly before settling back down. Starscream exhaled quietly before padding toward the door, his movements silent despite the fatigue still lingering in his frame.

It wasn’t enough. He needed more—more warmth, more contact, more assurance that everything was real and solid and safe. His mind whirred as he navigated the dimly lit corridors, the battle-scarred walls standing as evidence of everything that had transpired. He had made this happen—he had guided the chaos into something functional, something that didn’t end in absolute devastation.

He didn’t regret it. Not one bit.

But it had taken everything he had to hold it all together, and now… now that the adrenaline had worn off, that he was safe, that he wasn’t running calculations and contingencies in real-time, the craving settled in deep. He wanted to be held.

His feet carried him toward Shockwave’s quarters before he fully realized it.

It wasn’t as though he and Shockwave had… this kind of relationship yet, but there was something there—an understanding, an attraction, a mutual respect that had grown over time. Shockwave had seen him—not just a rebooted version of his predecessor, not a blank slate, but something with potential. And Starscream… Starscream had started to trust him. To like him.

Perhaps that was why his hands moved on their own, entering the security override before he could think better of it. The door hissed open softly, revealing the dim interior of Shockwave’s quarters.

Shockwave was seated at his terminal, but his optic flickered toward the entrance immediately, already aware of his presence. His single, glowing lens studied Starscream, analyzing, calculating. Starscream suddenly felt a little ridiculous. What exactly was he doing? Showing up unannounced in the middle of the night, hoping for some comfort like a needy sparkling?

Shockwave, of course, said nothing right away. His helm tilted slightly, assessing.

Starscream scoffed, folding his arms as if to shield himself from any perceived judgment. “I can leave if you’re going to analyze me like a specimen.”

Shockwave blinked once. “You are not a specimen. You are… seeking something.”

Starscream scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Shockwave said nothing but merely watched him, expectant.

Starscream shifted, uncomfortable under the scrutiny. He sighed, optics flickering toward the far wall as he hesitated before finally muttering, “I couldn’t recharge.”

A simple truth. A quiet admission.

Shockwave regarded him for a moment longer before, to Starscream’s surprise, he shut off his console, standing and stepping away from his workstation. Without a word, he gestured toward the berth in the corner.

Starscream hesitated, but only for a moment. Then he moved forward, lowering himself onto the berth, shifting slightly before glancing up at Shockwave.

The larger mech settled beside him with the same calculated precision he did everything with, but there was something almost careful about the way he allowed Starscream to press closer. Tentatively at first, then more insistently, slotting himself into place so that he could feel as much of the other’s frame as possible.

Shockwave did not object.

Starscream sighed softly, the tension he hadn’t even realized he was carrying slowly unwinding. He nestled closer, content to soak in the warmth radiating from the other mech’s frame, his systems syncing into the steady, rhythmic hum beneath him.

Shockwave remained still for a long time, as though considering something. Then, after a moment, one of his arms shifted, curling lightly around Starscream’s waist. Not tightly, not restraining—just a presence. A silent acknowledgment. A permission.

Starscream hummed, his wings twitching faintly as he allowed himself to relax.

Shockwave, for his part, considered the mech curled around him. Starscream, so often sharp and biting, was now soft in recharge, his frame molded against his own without hesitation. He was completely at ease, and for the first time in a long time, so was Shockwave.

He probably would have stabbed him by now.

He could admit that the attraction was there even before the Pacification, but it grew exponentially when he came to know Starscream. Many thought of him as a blank slate, but Shockwave knew better. He was more reset to factory settings, the underlying possibilities were always there, and still there. How he had handled Megatron and Optimus and forced them to talk was truly a masterwork of careful, precise movements, tapping certain relationships, asking for certain favors, and guessing how all of them would react in tandem with each other.

Once Shockwave had begun to unravel what Starscream had been doing all this time, he was astounded. And… impressed.

Starscream had the social currency that Shockwave lacked. He found this attractive.

The mech was curled around him like a cybercat, almost smug with contentment. Also… attractive.

Truly, his attraction to Starscream was after his memory erasure and when he had been so open and honest with him. And he was pleased that the attraction was returned.

The future would be interesting. No doubt there would be new challenges that Starscream would have to face as the leader of a new, neutral faction. He’d need help from his allies, and if he grew too powerful, he’d need help with the enemies he was bound to create. He seemed up to the task, but Shockwave worried; one thing he appeared to have inherited from his predecessor was a feeling of nigh-immortality and the arrogance that came along with that.

He'd rather they never have to test it.

Shockwave appreciated that Starscream had mended his trine, giving him two other allies in the defense and loving of Starscream. He knew he could count on them, and he intended to support their relationship too in any way possible.

His Starscream was not a blank slate, not a copy, but something new. Something brilliant.

And something his.

He held him there, in the quiet dark, feeling the soft vibrations of his field entwining with his own.

He drifted off to recharge, surprisingly warm and comfortable.

 

---

 

The celebration was hastily thrown together, but it had a chaotic charm to it. The room had been decorated with what little was available—streamers and bunting fashioned from old Decepticon and Autobot banners, their insignias now irrelevant in this new era. Some pieces were patched together, red and purple stitched side by side in a strange, symbolic unity. A statement, perhaps, or just an indication that they had to make do with what they had.

Tables had been arranged with almost military precision, energon cubes stacked in neat rows. Without thinking, Starscream found himself counting them, his processor automatically working out the inventory and distribution, a habit ingrained by survival. He caught himself mid-count and huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his helm.

Elita-1 had been watching him, and as she stepped beside him, she wore an amused, knowing smile. "You were right," she admitted. "It did feel like I was betraying Optimus."

Starscream exhaled through his vents, rolling his optics up toward the ceiling. "I wish I could say I felt bad about it," he said, voice dry.

Elita snorted, leaning her hip against the table, arms crossed as she regarded him. "But maybe it’s what we all needed. Blind loyalty to an ideal got us into this mess."

Starscream arched an optic ridge, considering. "I think a lot of things got us into this mess. I wouldn’t be able to point to just one over any other."

Elita hummed in agreement, her gaze scanning the room, watching as old enemies mingled warily, some awkwardly attempting small talk while others drank their energon in silence. Starscream knew it wasn’t perfect, and no one was entirely at ease, but it was something. The first step toward something different. Something new.

Her optics flicked back to Starscream, and her tone turned teasing. "How’s Shockwave?"

"None of your damn business," Starscream quipped, smirking despite himself. He hadn't realized how good it would feel to snap at someone without real malice behind it. It was almost nostalgic.

Elita grinned, shaking her head. "No kissing and telling? How noble of you."

"Ha." Starscream waved her off as she pushed away from the table, offering a casual wave before making her way toward Optimus, who was deep in discussion with Prowl. He watched her go, his optics lingering for a moment. He wasn't sure how things would shake out between him and them—the old Autobot leadership—but for tonight, at least, they weren’t trying to kill each other. That counted for something.

"Leadership suits you," a familiar voice rumbled beside him.

Starscream turned to find Skyfire standing there, his presence large yet unobtrusive, as steady as ever.

"I lead myself," Starscream replied, folding his arms. "And I suppose anyone stupid enough to follow me."

Skyfire’s optics glowed with amusement. "Consider me dumb, then," he said, and—impossibly—winked.

Starscream reared back slightly, caught off guard. "You barely know me."

Skyfire’s expression softened, more thoughtful now. "I like to think I know what made the old Starscream who he was," he said carefully. "And while you share a frame, a processor, and a spark, you’re right—you’re a completely different mech, untethered from his past. You can choose anything from him to keep, and decide for yourself what the future looks like."

Starscream narrowed his optics. "What, I can keep being naïve and foolish?"

Skyfire chuckled, his amusement tempered with something more serious. "You’re not held back by millions of years of failures. You have the right kind of audacity to persevere, even when someone tells you it’s impossible."

Starscream huffed but didn’t dismiss the compliment outright. He sighed, letting his arms drop slightly. "I have to thank you for that faith. Even when it was hard to find it myself."

Skyfire blinked in surprise, then laughed softly to himself. Starscream tilted his helm, confused by the reaction.

"Sorry," Skyfire said, his optics bright with something almost nostalgic. "It’s just… I don’t think your old self ever really thanked me for anything."

Starscream frowned, something twisting in his spark. "He should have," he muttered, and for a fleeting moment, he wished he could go back in time and shake some sense into his predecessor. "He should have told you how much you meant to him."

Skyfire's expression was gentle, unreadable. "He did," he said eventually. "In his own way."

Starscream scoffed but didn't argue. Always the loyal one, even to a mech who had barely deserved it. He found himself—against all logic—charmed by that devotion.

Skyfire stepped back slightly, nodding in that composed, respectful way of his. "We’ll be in touch. Good luck with the start of things. And if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask."

Starscream smirked. "I won’t."

Skyfire inclined his helm, a quiet acknowledgment, before turning and walking away, his towering form disappearing into the mingling crowd.

Starscream stood there for a moment, watching him go, feeling a strange warmth settle in his spark. He hadn’t expected to feel this way—to feel wanted, to feel like the people around him saw him as something more than just a replacement for what was lost.

Skywarp and Thundercracker found him again a little later, offering him a drink which he gladly accepted. Many other Autobots and Decepticons had made their appearance now that the space bridge was open allowing visitors from both sides to see what they had forged.

Bluestreak bounded up to Starscream, throwing his hands around him in a tight hug. Not far behind him were Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, grinning at his back.  

Starscream hugged back.

Skywarp choked on his own vents. “Hey, hey, whoa—“

Thundercracker was immediately beside them, his optics wide and wary. “Star, what on Cybertron—“

“It’s okay,” he said, patting Bluestreak’s back. Bluestreak knew the signal for what it was and released him. “They’re friends.”

“Great friends,” Sideswipe added smugly, appearing to relish at Skywarp’s disgusted face.

“Is there anyone you have not seduced yet?” Skywarp grumbled, putting his arms protectively around Starscream’s midriff, and pulling him back against his frame.

“Hmm, not yet,” Starscream replied teasingly. “I thought it was just being on ‘Team Starscream?’”

Thundercracker huffed his vents, nodding to the other three. “Thank you for helping him.”

“It was easy. Our wishes are the same,” Sunstreaker replied with a wave of his hand. “See you around, seekers.”

Skywarp gave a whole-body shiver, and Starscream laughed, gently tapping his arms. Skywarp obeyed and left a kiss on his cheek before letting him go. “Next you’re going to tell me you had a threesome with—“

“Jazz! Good to see you,” Starscream said, stepping forward to shake his hand. “Thank you for everything.”

“I didn’t do much,” Jazz said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I feel like I owe you, so I was happy to do what I could.”

Starscream patted him on the back and continued to work his way through the crowd. Everyone had something to say to him, mostly on the congratulatory side. Some were worried and anxious about the various developments, but Starscream was able to talk them out of their anxieties for now. With the war over, and with Starscream now another player at the table for peace, it was understandable that some mechs would worry.

Hook and the Constructicons broke him from his thoughts. “I never thought I’d see the day,” he said, clapping Starscream on the back. “Congrats, mech. You did an amazing job.”

It was odd then to see Hook, the first mech he’d ever seen when he had come alive. Back then, Starscream thought of him as sleek, polished, young, and kind—and while Hook could be those things, Starscream now realized that he wasn’t. Everything about the mech had shifted and Starscream didn’t hold it against him, but he did find that the experience gave him perspective.

Many things had changed since he had woken. He’d found love and kindness and experienced pain and cruelty.

He turned back to the celebration. The murmurs of conversation, the clinking of energon cubes, the laughter that still felt hesitant but genuine.

It wasn't perfect. It wasn’t seamless. But it was real.

And for the first time, Starscream truly believed that they could build something out of the wreckage. That he could.

And, just maybe, he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

 

---

 

“And if we put all of our resources together, maybe we could find a way to fix you,” the mech on the comm said. He was yet another returning Neutral that had been ecstatic that the war had ended, and he could come home.

He’d missed a lot, apparently.

Starscream stared ahead, keeping his face blank. “Shockwave and I have it covered.”

“But don’t you want to be free of it? The coding will always exist in your systems, but maybe we can fix what has been done to you? It’s a grave injustice, and that the war has crippled—"

“I’d like to think that at this point, you’re just trying to insult me,” Starscream said. “You hope that by continually bringing up the Pacification program and how I am lesser you might be able to diminish my importance and influence on the council.”

The Neutral sputtered, shaking his helm. “I would never—"

“And I wouldn’t fault you for trying,” Starscream said, standing. “The kind of bonds that I’ve forged with both the Autobots and the Decepticons have made me quite dangerous, as Optimus Prime, Megatron, and even the war found out. But let me make one thing clear. Pacification is part of me, and I am part of it. I am not lesser or more for having the program run and limiting my actions. But in some ways, it allowed me to forge bonds I didn’t know I could have. It made me vulnerable, yes, but many others showed vulnerabilities to me in return.

“I suppose I mean to say that if you expect to be able to take advantage of me, then I encourage you to try. If only to see how satisfying it will be when you fail.”

The mech stared on, his mouth agape, and was about to say more when the line cut. Shockwave said nothing as he typed some things on his datapad. “I would have ended that earlier, but I enjoy you verbally eviscerating them.”

Starscream huffed a laugh but then leaned back in his seat, more sedate. “Others might think the same way.”

“Then they will learn a hard lesson. Unfortunate for them.”

Starscream smirked and then sighed. “On to the next one, then.”

 

---

 

It’s quiet now.

Starscream gently removed Shockwave’s arm from around him and gingerly stepped out of the berth. He padded out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible. Shockwave didn’t stir, which made him hopeful he didn’t wake him.

He wanted a moment.

He went to a giant window in the hallway, the nightscape of the ruined planet staring back at him. There were a few lights here and there, illuminating the place from below. Probably to see enemies approaching, he thought. Perhaps to try and catch Elita and her crew sneaking around stealing energon.

The planet was quiet, but it wasn’t at peace. It was in limbo, waiting.

Starscream leaned heavier against the window, pressing his forehead lightly to the cool glass. His own reflection stared back at him, faint and warped in the dim light. He almost didn’t recognize himself sometimes—not because of any physical change, but because of everything else that had shifted inside him.

A part of him still felt like an imposter, a rogue element thrown into the aftermath of a war that was never his, to begin with. He had been created with knowledge but not experience, and now he had to pretend he was someone who knew what he was doing. Pretend he had always been here, that he could remember the weight of old victories and past mistakes the way everyone else did.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

And maybe that was for the best.

If the past was full of ghosts and failures, then why should he be burdened by them? Why should any of them? If the world was shattered, then the only thing left to do was build anew.

He exhaled slowly, his vents hissing softly in the silence.

This planet would be razed, burned down to its bones, and rebuilt in a way that made sense. The past would always be there—whispering, clinging, resenting—but he wasn’t here to mourn it. He was here to win.

And that meant building something better.

It would be a thankless task, and everyone was going to be weird and pining for the way things used to be. And Starscream wouldn’t know what that looked like. He was likely to suggest some things that had been tried and failed before, and it would be an uphill battle constantly arguing with the old.

Now that he could be mean and biting with his words, he almost relished the challenge. Something about making up for lost time brought him immense satisfaction.

Not unlike his own life, he knew that everyone needed a fresh start from this madness. If the memories of the past were too painful, then stop looking at them and build a new future instead.

He understood the idea of learning from past mistakes. He would study history and ask and learn as fast as he could, hungry for the knowledge, but he would also understand that it was one perspective. But there are fears of the unknown that plague him.

Starscream fears saying something too mean to ruin things. Skywarp fears he’ll annoy him. Thundercracker fears he’ll be too distant and distracted to be of help. Shockwave fears Starscream will come to his senses and abandon him. Everyone fears this peace they’ve managed to almost broker will disappear in smoke and mirrors.

He barely had time to react before Skywarp was there, sliding up next to him, arms wrapping around his waist.

Starscream startled slightly. “What—”

“Thought you were sneaking off somewhere,” Skywarp muttered against the side of his helm. He was warm, his field buzzing with drowsy affection. “I woke up, and you weren’t there.”

Starscream huffed, but there was no real bite to it. “I just needed some air.”

Skywarp grumbled something unintelligible, his voice thick with the remnants of recharge, and then, to Starscream’s immediate irritation, licked him across the side of his faceplate.

“Skywarp!”

“You’re mine,” Skywarp declared, entirely unrepentant, nuzzling against his shoulder. “Ours.”

Starscream scowled, wiping his face with exaggerated disgust. “You are disgusting—”

Skywarp just smirked, smug and pleased with himself, his grip tightening. “Thundercracker’s coming too. You woke him up.”

Starscream’s optics flickered with exasperation, but sure enough, footsteps echoed down the hall. Thundercracker appeared moments later, his expression somewhere between amused and resigned.

“You know, for someone who just got out of a life-threatening situation, you sure like sneaking off alone.”

“I wasn’t—”

Thundercracker just gave him a look.

Starscream sighed heavily but didn’t protest as Thundercracker stepped closer, slipping into his other side, a steady and reassuring weight pressing against him.

They stood there together, looking out over the ruined landscape, the shattered remains of their world stretching out beneath them. The past was still heavy, the future uncertain—but this moment, this right now, was real.

Skywarp’s arms tightened around his waist, Thundercracker’s hand rested lightly against his back, and Starscream let himself vent.

“I don’t know if I’ll be any good at this,” he admitted quietly. It wasn’t something he said often, but here, with them, he could.

Thundercracker’s voice was calm, steady. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

Skywarp nuzzled against his helm again, his usual energy dulled by the lingering haze of recharge. “We’re here. No matter what.”

Starscream sighed, but there was no exasperation this time—only acceptance.

He wasn’t alone.

And for tonight, that was enough.

Slowly, with his trinemates flanking him, he turned away from the ruined world outside and let them lead him back to their berth.

Tomorrow would come, and the future would demand its due.

But for now, this—this warmth, this closeness, this unwavering presence—was all he needed.

And it wasn’t so quiet anymore.

 

---

 

Epilogue

 

“Honestly, I’m going to fade away into nothing if you continue to plod along. ”

Skyfire scowled. “Plod,” he repeated flatly.

There was a pause. “I meant that as a compliment.”

Skyfire rolled his optics but smirked as he continued to connect wires and plug things in. “You can't even see yet. How do you know I'm plodding?”

“My memory is quite vivid. I distinctly remember every ripple of your plating as your weight redistributed as you walked. I remember every cable as it stretched taut from pain and pleasure both. I remember your face slack in the throes of-”

Skyfire bumped his helm under the desk, groaning as he rubbed his forehead. “It seems your memory circuits are fine then,” he groused. The voice cackled in reply.

Skyfire continued to work, silently assembling the console and optical feeds. It had taken him over a year to develop all of the inputs and calibrate the outputs so that it was a semblance of something real.

“Does it bother you that he's out there with your frame and spark?” Skyfire asked as he started to close up the console, bolting it shut.

There was a metallic hum as if someone was deep in thought. “I've thought about it, and no, not really. He's my heir. From what you've told me, he's made the best of the situation that I couldn't fathom. I wish him the best.”

Skyfire furrowed his brow. “I hope that's true.”

“Oh, you're worried I'm going to go after him? You really are fond of the mech,” the voice replied. “You can rest easy, Skyfire. I've no designs on Starscream and what he's fought hard to win.”

“That's a relief. I'd be very disappointed if I had to stop you.”

The voice snickered. “Is it ready?”

“It is,” Skyfire replied. He flipped open a cover that hid a button on the console. “Are you ready?”

“Do it.”

“If this doesn't work-” Skyfire started.

“Darling. Please. I want to see you. Plodding and all.”

Skyfire swallowed and nodded. He pushed the button and a monitor came on. Slowly, the approximation of a face appeared. Fuzzy at the edges, but features slowly came into focus as Skyfire adjusted a calibration dial. The face was still dark, charcoal gray with a small nose and red, piercing optics.

“Hello, Skyfire,” the visage said, smirking from a mouth. “Still delightfully big, I see.”

“How is the feed? Colors good? I tried to give you an algorithm for depth perception too.”

“It's good enough,” the voice said. “How do I look?”

Skyfire's optic softened. “The same.”

“Sap,” came the gentle reply. “This is weird.”

“I'm hoping it will get better. As we add other ways for you to interact with the physical space.”

“Or if we find a spare protoform out there.”

Skyfire inclined his helm. “It's not very likely. But maybe, if we tell others—”

“No,” came the stern reply. “My own safety none-withstanding, I don't want someone well-meaning to mess up our little Starscream prodigy out there. We are entirely different.”

“Should we at least reach out to him, you think? Let him know about… this?”

The face looked contemplative on the monitor, the lines on his brow scrunching as he considered. “Do you think he’d be… happy? Or just as likely to plot my assassination?”

Skyfire chuckled, “I really hope you get to know him. I can’t say you’d like him with how similar he is, but I think the differences would intrigue you.”

“Why can’t I just ask you? Unless you can’t stop thinking about him.”

Skyfire gave the monitor a flat look and he continued to work on the mechanical controls. “If I can keep adjusting this, you’ll have the ability to move around as you want. It’s a step closer to having a body.”

“You know I’m not real though, right? I lack a… spark. Some used to say that I never had one to begin with, and this will only prove them right.”

Skyfire stopped and looked up at the monitor. “If anyone can make a realistic enough version of their boyfriend in a computer, it’s me.”

“That’s not what is up for debate, my dear,” Starscream purred.

Skyfire smiled and then sighed. “I understand you’re not the same. I understand it’s going to be messy as I have real, true feelings for you, and you are not Cybertronian life, but I’m going to help make you as close to life as possible. And if the opportunity arises in the future, I will not hesitate to fully revive you in your own new frame, with your own spark and processor, independent and ready to cause chaos.”

The approximation of Starscream on the monitor smiled wickedly at that.

“We’ll need allies. I have more enemies than friends, I’m afraid.”

“I think the new Starscream has done you some favors there.”

“That’s going to get old, don’t you think? Old Starscream, new Starscream…”

“It’s been difficult to be… clear, yes.”

“I think I should take on a new name then. To represent my new life.”

Skyfire nodded. “A sound idea. What do you have in mind?”

There was a long pause as the entity contemplated the idea. It was amazing that so much of his personality was intact. Computers such as Teletraan-1 barely had any to speak of, and that's almost what this version of Starscream amounted to right now. Skyfire did not doubt that they would get further with his development as time progressed.

But it wouldn’t ever be fast enough. Still, he could be patient.

“I’ve always been a fan of… Ulchtar.”

Skyfire rolled the word over his tongue a few times in deep thought. “Significantly less… erm. Vowels.”

“You hate it,” the monitor said, frowning.

“No, no I just mean, it’s. Different. Ancient world! Less seeker.”

“I’m not a seeker anymore, am I?”

“I think you can be whatever you want,” Skyfire said softly. He then smirked and gave a dramatic bow. “It's a pleasure, Ulchtar.”

“Ah, proper deference at last,” Ulchtar said with a grin. “Now. Tell me the story again of how Starscream defeated Megatron and Optimus Prime. I will never tire of hearing about it.”

fin

Notes:

We made it. Thanks again to everyone who has read, commented, kudo'd, and just enjoyed this one.

I am sorry about the hiatus, and I hope everyone who wanted to see this end comes back and finds it. I had a lot of trouble adjusting to changing life events, and finding time to write became a lot harder than it used to. But I kept at it, and got confident enough to put this one together for an ending.

Thanks to Raax, Tac, Wendy for being there along the road and helping me get here.

Love you all! With all my heart,

Baird