Willow Tree

by orphan_account

Summary:

“And there is no way of avoiding this?” Obi-Wan asked, wetting his lips a little. Healer Nav gave him a sympathetic look and patted his knee in a way that would have been condescending if he hadn’t known her since they were in the creche.

“You’ve been successfully avoiding it for twenty years Obi-Wan, I’m afraid not this time,” Nav replied, beginning to tap through something on her datapad.

Notes:

• For Orientalld.

Chapter 1

For most of his life, Obi-Wan hadn’t given much thought to his secondary gender, in most ways it hadn’t affected his life at all, jedi paying little attention to that sort of thing beyond medical needs. He’d been lucky, in that respect, there were plenty of planets - even in the republic - that weren’t so forward thinking. But even when carrying out missions on those planets, his status as a jedi had erased all other labels that might have been applied to him. 

Not that he was ‘detectable’ anyway. When he had presented at sixteen he had endured that awkward, half-heat that came with presentation, educated about birth control, put on suppressants, and that had been the end of it. 

Aside from remembering to take his suppressants and semi-regular check-ups with the healers, Obi-Wan had barely thought about the fact that he was an omega since he had presented. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, he had thought about it sometimes when his master was being particularly...Qui-Gon. In some ways it was a miracle he’d survived the final nine years of his training at all, considering that his master was  the most attractive alpha he had ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on in his entire life. But Obi-Wan suspected he would have had that problem on his hands regardless of his presentation. 

Obi-Wan’s relationship with his master was complicated, and another matter entirely. 

The matter at hand was that Obi-Wan had barely had to think about the fact that he was an omega - and certainly hadn’t since he had been knighted, and Qui-Gon had taken Anakin on as his apprentice - until now. He was sat on one of the medical beds, legs dangling off the side, not quite touching the floor - and hadn’t that been something that had distracted him when he’d spent every waking moment with his master - trying to process what the healer was saying to him. 

“Obi-Wan, are you okay?” Nav asked him again, waving a hand in front of his eyes to get his attention back into focus, a frown was creasing her brow. He had been looking at the willow outside the window, trees were rare on Coruscant, and watching it’s boughs moving in the breeze had been mesmerising, and easier than focusing completely on Nav. 

“Yes. Sorry. Just thinking about what that means,” Obi-Wan said, bringing himself back into the present.

Well. It was actually rather obvious what it meant, Healer Nav had been perfectly clear; Obi-Wan had been on suppressants for nearly twenty years, and for the first time in those twenty years, his body was apparently asking for a break. Something to do with his hormone levels, one being too high, another being too low, Obi-Wan was a little ashamed to admit that he didn’t understand it - another side effect of not having thought about the fact he was an omega in a very long time. 

“Primarily what it means is you are going to go into heat. There’s no harm in still wearing scent blockers, so you don’t need to worry about your scent changing or calling attention to itself - though I would remind you that they are by no means mandatory. But yes, your body is telling me very clearly that it needs a break from suppressants, somewhere between one and three heats should be enough for your system to sort itself out, and for you to go back on them, but I will have to do another check up before I can prescribe them again,” Nav told him, pointing to various things on the screen that Obi-Wan didn’t understand, and might have had a better shot at understanding if his mind hadn’t been racing. 

“And there is no way of avoiding this?” Obi-Wan asked, wetting his lips a little. Nav gave him a sympathetic look and patted his knee in a way that would have been condescending if he hadn’t known her since they were in the creche together. 

“You’ve been successfully avoiding it for twenty years Obi-Wan, I’m afraid not this time,” Nav replied, beginning to tap through something on her datapad. 

“Right. Nothing for it then,” Obi-Wan sighed, trying to release his emotions to the force as best he could. “Do you have any idea when it will arrive, after I’ve stopped taking the suppressants?” 

“It’s difficult to say. Your body was never able to establish a natural cycle before you suppressed it. The first one likely within a week, if your body needs more than one then they will be erratic, but usually arrive somewhere between twenty and sixty days.”

“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down for me,” Obi-Wan sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, scrubbing it through his beard and then his hair as he tried not to huff in the presence of his healer. 

“Sorry,” Nav said, grimacing in response to Obi-Wan’s own grimace. A circle of grimaces. 

“You’re hardly to blame,” Obi-Wan said, trying to work out how he was going to be expected to carry out any missions while his body was going through this, before realising with an internal groan that he was likely to be put on teaching duties within the temple until his body sorted itself out. At least, he thought, he was more likely to see Qui-Gon, if he stayed in one place. 

“There is one last thing,” Nav said, her face making it clear that Obi-Wan wasn’t going to like this either, and he attempted to steel himself; how much worse could it possibly get?

“Spit it out then Nav.”

“The heat is likely to be difficult if you intend to endure it alone. Very difficult.”

“How difficult?” Obi-Wan asked, releasing his frustration to the force with no small amount of effort. 

“Enough that we strongly recommend finding a partner. Strongly,” Nav emphasis, tucking her datapad back under her arm before elaborating further. “It’ll be long and intense and there is a fairly good chance you will fall into distress if you try to go it alone. Your omega side will be asserting itself for the first time, everything will be more intense, and there will be no one help you through that if you’re alone, a lot of long-term suppressors are struck by an acute sense of abandonment and the resulting overload of hormones and emotions can be dangerous for your biochemistry. 

“I’ll send you some stuff you can read which explains it when you’ve had some time to process, but the long and short of it is if you don’t want a partner, you’re going to have to have your heat here. You’d be in one of the private rooms, but we would need to be able to monitor you, in case things started to take a turn for the worst,” she explained, and Obi-Wan’s nose wrinkled before he could stop it. 

“Yeah, that’s why most opt for a partner,” Nav chuckled, trying to lightening Obi-Wan’s mood and failing. “Whatever you decide, let me know in a couple of days when you finish this round of suppressants, there are some things we’ll need to sort out if you want to spend it here. And I was given this,” she added, pulling out another datapad and handing it to Obi-Wan. “You’ve been taken off active duty for now - sorry -  it’s your class schedule you’ll be undertaking for the initiates and some other duties the council are asking for you, all on Coruscant, most in the temple - sorry again.”

“It’s alright Nav,” Obi-Wan said, sighing heavily as he took the datapad and then berating himself for feeling so sorry for himself. He wasn’t even ill, twenty years of missed heats were just finally catching up to him, and in reality, only having to experience one or two was a pretty good trade off. Not all omega jedi were on suppressants, it wasn’t a requirement, and they went on active duty just fine, the difference for Obi-Wan was that he had no natural cycle, and according to Nav, these heats would be intense, fast to come on, and erratic. 

“One last thing,” the healer said. 

“What else could there possibly be?” Obi-Wan asked drily, hoping Nav found the trace of humor he was just about managing to inject into his voice. Nav didn’t deserve to have to deal with his moping. 

“Birth control!” Nav said with a bright smile, laughing when Obi-Wan’s eyes went wide. “If you decide to have a partner - again, strongly recommended - then I’m going to need to prescribe you some birth control, if it can be either a pill, a patch or an implant, pick your poison.”

“Can I think about it? I’m not certain I’m going to need it at all yet,” Obi-Wan said, feeling a little lightheaded. He had certainly never thought about birth control before, even on the nights he had imagined himself and his master in various compromising positions. He wished he could say that he had left those fantasies behind with his teenage years, but sadly there was little point in lying to himself about it. 

“Well, whatever you decide. I’m just sorry I couldn’t give you longer to decide,” Nav said. 

“Yet another thing that was not your fault, Nav,” Obi-Wan replied. He had barely been back to the temple in a year; and now he was going to spend possibly the entire next one here. 

It reminded him of that year after Naboo, just before his knighting, when Qui-Gon had been in critical condition in this very healers wing, and Obi-Wan had ducked and dodged any mission that came his way that would send him out of the temple. The council had noticed, because they weren’t utter buffoons, no matter what Qui-Gon said, but they had let Obi-Wan stay put and help Anakin play catch up anyway. 

“Well, you’re free to go Obi-Wan, but if you aren’t back here in four days I’m going to be forced to hunt you down,” Nav said, giving him a friendly pat on the back and nudging him towards the door. 

Obi-Wan was proud that he managed to make it all the way back to his quarters before he really let himself think about everything that Nav had said to him, and the implication that was growing clearer and clearer in his head. It would be foolish of him not to find a partner, jedi frowned upon attachment - and thus frowned upon mavericks like Qui-Gon who were incessantly prone to it - so there was no shortage of people in the temple who would be willing to help Obi-Wan out, without complicating the matter at all. 

But it just didn’t feel right to Obi-Wan. The idea of letting someone he barely knew - however trustworth - see him in such a vulnerable moment set like a stone low in his gut. His omega side had been silent for most of his life, but just the thought of that was enough to have it whining in protest. And if he felt like that now, when that instinct was currently being suppressed, then it was only going to be worse when the time came. 

So it couldn’t be a stranger. But Obi-Wan was one of the most active knights in the temple, his record, which meant that a lot of his close friendships had fallen away, until only two real friendships remained. There was Bant, but Obi-Wan wouldn’t even entertain that possibility, she was like a sister to him and all that endeavour would do was make them both uncomfortable. 

Quinlan was the other option, and Obi-Wan considered if for a moment. It could work, a lot of his teenage experimentation had been with Quinlan, although they had never gone all the way, a history that made him think that they would get through any awkwardness that might arise from them sharing Obi-Wan’s heat. But still Obi-Wan got a strange feeling in his gut, and was oddly relieved when he checked Quinlan’s current status, and found him thoroughly embroiled in a difficult infiltration mission all the way out in Ryloth. 

The truth was, there was only one person Obi-Wan trusted enough to share his heat with anyway, and he had known it the second Nav had suggested he find a partner.

Qui-Gon was in the temple as well - Obi-Wan always knew where he was - and they were even supposed to be having dinner together tomorrow night. Tomorrow night, which was supposed to be the last night Obi-Wan had at the temple before shooting off on another mission. Whenever they managed to both be in the same place at the same time - even just the same system - they tried to make time for each other. Obi-Wan had worked hard, over the years, not to read too much into that. But even eleven years on from being his master’s padawan, the little flutter in his tummy was difficult to silence. 

He had more than a day to either talk himself into or talk himself out of asking for his master’s help one last time. 

 

---------

 

The day both dragged and raced towards him as Obi-Wan agonised over his decision - or at least, as he came to terms with the decision he had always been going to make. 

The truth was the idea of going through his first ever real heat alone was scaring him, especially after what Nav had said, and he would give anything for the comfort of his master’s hands when he was losing himself, including a very awkward conversation.

The only real sticking point - aside from the humiliation he had no doubt he was going to feel during the pending dinner conversation (Obi-Wan was fairly sure this wasn’t the sort of conversation he was supposed to have over dinner anyway ) - was Obi-Wan’s persistent feelings for his master. When he was a padawan, he had told himself that they would fade over time, but it was eleven years later and he still felt his gut swoop and his heart clench every time he so much as thought of his master. 

But he told himself it would be okay, he had survived twenty years of being quietly in love with his master, and he was sure he would survive twenty more, whether Qui-Gon helped him through his heat or not. It was possible that Qui-Gon would say no, Obi-Wan would essentially be asking him to stay at the temple for most of the year, and Qui-Gon had always been a restless soul, and as he sat down opposite his master in Dex’s Diner, that possibility started to knot itself into a nasty ball of anxiety pressed up against his sternum as they talked about their lives. 

Anakin was close to being knighted - which Obi-Wan had heard down the proverbial grapevine anyway - the shortest padawanship in the history of the order, and Obi-Wan could tell that his master was proud of his fourth padawan. They had fixed the damage done to their relationship when Qui-Gon had tried to claim Anakin before Obi-Wan had been knighted long ago, and Obi-Wan was glad, he and Anakin were close, almost like brothers; though he was also glad his master had always kept these dinners just between the two of them. 

“You two are a terrible influence on each other,” Obi-Wan teased, when Qui-Gon recounted one of their latest adventures, always enough to turn Obi-Wan’s hair grey - he was glad he was hearing about this one when they were both home safe and sound at least.

“I’ll admit there have been moments when your more careful approach would have been useful,” Qui-Gon smiled that smile of his, the one that was practically branded on the inside of Obi-Wan’s eyelids, the one that had lifted him up so many times in his life. It crinkled the corners of his master’s eyes and made his beard shift around his upturning lips; it was an image that had soothed Obi-Wan in more than one dire situation.

“And I will admit that there have been one or two situations when I wish I’d had your daring,” Obi-Wan replied, he was getting distracted by his master’s hands on his cutlery, dwarfing the metal until it looked almost ridiculous. It was easy, now that it was on his mind, to wonder if those big hands would be able to wrap all the way around his waist. He shook himself out of it quickly, but the knot in his chest tightened further, he hadn’t been this anxious even when he thought he’d been sent irrevocably to Bandomeer. 

“You haven’t needed me for a long time,” Qui-Gon said, his smile softening, taking on an edge of melancholy. Obi-Wan could have almost laughed at his words, if only he knew. “Still no padawan of your own?”

“No. I find my missions are still a little too dangerous still,” he said, knowing his master would frown, he had always downplayed the particular peril he had found himself in repeatedly over the last decade. “But one day. I have time.”

“You do. But if there is no initiate you have your eye on then perhaps when Anakin is knighted in a month or so we could petition the council to be paired for missions for a little while. I have missed your company, Obi-Wan, and they wouldn’t be able to deny that we were a very effective team.”

“I would like that,” Obi-Wan said, a smile pulling at his lips. Everything seemed to have lined up so perfectly, Qui-Gon was planning to be in the temple for the next few months as the only things left holding Anakin back from being able to take his trails were - of all things - gaps in his studies. It wouldn’t inconvenience his master’s plans to help Obi-Wan with his heats, and yet, he still found it hard to make the words come out of his mouth. 

Qui-Gon noticed, because he had always been able to tell when something was wrong with Obi-Wan. And he asked, because every year they had known each other, Qui-Gon had become better at expressing his concern. 

“Are you alright, Obi-Wan? You’ve barely touched your Sic-Six cake, and I know how much you like it. I’m half convinced Dex makes it just for you now. Are you worried about your next mission? I was reading up on it, Hoth is an unpleasant place under the best of circumstances.”

“Uh, no. I am not going to Hoth any more,” Obi-Wan replied, and his master perked up a little in his seat.

“You’re going to be in the temple a little longer? Wait, is something wrong, why were you taken off the mission?” Qui-Gon’s tone turned quickly to worry, and the knot in Obi-wan’s gut both loosened and tightened knowing that his master was happy at the prospect of them getting a little longer together in the temple.

“It was something I wanted to ask you about, actually,” Obi-Wan said, furious with himself for the blush that was rising on his cheeks. He was thirty six years old, he was called The Negotiator for force sake, he should not have been embarrassed by what he was about to ask. The visible heat on his cheeks served only to make his master worry more, his brown creasing with more lines. “It’s, um, it’s a little awkward, and I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to say yes.”

“What is it, Obi-Wan?” His master asked, effortlessly sensing his mounting anxiety and reaching across the table, steadying the hand that Obi-Wan had been using to restlessly push cake around his plate. He had always been steady, like the great oak trees they’d seen on Naboo. 

“The healers informed me today that I need to come off my suppressants and let my body go through a natural heat, possibly more than one. They informed me that the heats can be difficult without a partner and I wondered if- if- ah, well, um, if you might consider helping me with them?” Obi-wan asked, eyes fixed down on their hands, where Qui-Gon was encompassing one of his hands with his own. He felt the pressure on his hand increase as his master squeezed a little tighter in surprise, and it was like that ball of anxiety in his chest burst out all at once until he was blabbering uncontrollably. “You don’t have to of course. It is fine, the healers will be more than able to take care of me if need be. I am sorry master, I shouldn’t have asked. Sorry. Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan corrected himself quickly, thinking of all the times his master had laughed and reminded him that he was not his master anymore. But old habits died hard. 

“Obi-Wan, hush,” Qui-Gon said, cutting off Obi-Wan’s continuing stream of words, and tilting his chin up with gentle fingers. “I will help you, I was only surprised that it was me that you asked.”

Obi-Wan knew what he should say, that he should talk about how Bant was like a sister to him, that Quinlan was off world and anyone else that he might have asked was busy, spoken for, or almost a stranger these days. 

“You are the only person I can imagine sharing it with.” Was what spilled out of Obi-Wan’s mouth instead. His blush intensified again, feeling embarrassed by his words. It was a poorly kept secret that he was overly attached to his master, but a poorly kept secret that they had never spoken of, and Obi-Wan wondered what the chances of that mercy continuing were if he couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore. Relief flooded through him when his master’s face went impossibly softer and he cupped Obi-Wan’s cheek. 

“Then I am glad I can do this for you,” his master said, before withdrawing his hand, forcing Obi-Wan to work hard not to chase it. 

“Thank you, Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan mumbled, still feeling a little embarrassed, but relieved that he was not going to have to face his heat alone, or with an unknown partner, but newly anxious over having to keep the depth of his feelings a secret when his master was only helping him out in a time of difficulty.

It was important that he didn’t let himself become confused, he had been in love with his master for twenty years, and had had a ridiculous crush on him for far longer, if there was anything between them other than a deep friendship, Obi-Wan would know about it by now. 

“When will it be?” 

“Healer Nav said it should make an appearance within a week of coming off of suppressants, so anytime in the next eight days.”

“Eight days in your company,” his master said, smiling again but retracting his hand, leaving Obi-Wan’s skin feeling cold as the warmth of Qui-Gon’s palm evaporated from his skin. “I will be spoiled by the end of it. Did Nav say anything else? I know heats can be hard for omegas who have suppressed for so long.”

“She said it would likely be intense, and if I had to have more than one they would be erratic, and would be a little unpredictable. Sorry, I don’t expect you to stay at the temple for half a year just for me,” Obi-Wan said, feeling awkward all of a sudden. 

“I expect I will be at the temple for a while anyway. Anakin needs to finish up his studies and now that I have returned I think it might be nice to stay put for a little while.”

“Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn wanting to stay put? And on Coruscant of all places? Are you well master,” Obi-Wan laughed, pleased when it brought that crinkle back around his master’s eyes. 

“Over a decade later and you still insist on calling me master,” Qui-Gon shook his head, but Obi-Wan could read the fondness all over his expression, and knew that his master didn’t really mind. “And what can I say, over the last few weeks my eyes have been opened to the appeal of teaching the initiatives - someone needs to show them that the council and their unbendable ways aren’t the only ways to be a jedi.”

“I’m sure the council love that,” Obi-Wan said, thinking about how much the initiates must love being taught by the legendary Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon was good with children too, no matter how much he might try to deny it. 

“I’ve long since given up worrying about what they think. But yes I should be able to help you through as many heats as you need.”

“Thank you, Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan replied, annoyed at himself for blushing yet again, and finally finishing off the cake and protesting when his master immediately ordered him another slice, much to Dex’s glee. 

“Don’t protest Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon chided, pushing the second slice of cake before him. “It is generally considered good practice for an omega to eat more before going into heat, as you’re going to be going without very much for however long the heat lasts. Eat up.”

“Yes master,” Obi-Wan muttered with a small note of exasperation, making Qui-Gon laugh and his eyes crinkle for him again. 

 

---------

 

“Master Jinn!” Nav greeted jovially when Obi-Wan entered the healers wing the next day with a tagalong, she moved her smile to Obi-Wan. “I take it you’ve taken our advice then.”

“Yes Nav,” Obi-Wan sighed, sitting himself on one of the medial beds as Qui-Gon stood respectfully by his side. 

“Glad to hear it, which means this can be a fairly short meeting. Qui-Gon have you ever helped an omega through heat before?” 

“Just once, a long time ago, but I remember quite clearly,” his master replied, and Obi-Wan released the frisson of jealousy that rose in him before it could take hold. “It will be my job to make sure Obi-Wan neither starves nor dehydrates himself, and if the heat continues for more than four days I need to contact a healer.”

“Excellent. We’ll say more than five days this time around, Obi-Wan as you’ve gone without for twenty years your body may well try to make up for lost time. Are you on suppressants as well, Qui-Gon?” 

“No, I have a natural rut cycle,” Qui-Gon replied, and Obi-Wan fought the urge to blush. 

He remembered being sixteen and newly presented, only just through with his presentation heat when his master had disappeared for a few days. He hadn’t realised what it was at first - and in as a self-conscious teen had worried that his master was disappointed at his presentation. But when his master had returned, Obi-Wan’s newly sensitive nose - having not yet started his first round of suppressants, picked up the lingering scent of rut all over his master. 

It had surprised him, ruts were much easier, without an omega in heat they only lasted a day and his master had been gone for three, Obi-Wan no wondered if that was the time his master had helped a omega in need. It forced him to release another wave of jealousy; he had always felt raw over the fact his master hadn’t been there for him after his presentation heat, and now to discover that it might have been because he was helping someone else. But it was ridiculous to get jealous over something that had happened two decades ago. 

“Okay then just bear in mind that Obi-Wan’s heat may well trigger your rut.”

“Is that bad?” Obi-Wan asked, worried again that he might be inconveniencing his master and throwing out his natural cycle. 

“On the contrary, that would only soothe you in heat, and arguably make the sex all the more enjoyable,” Nav waved off his concerns, and politely ignored Obi-Wan’s blush. He had enough of a reputation as a prude as it was, he didn’t need to make it any worse. “Now, birth control. What will it be Obi-Wan, pill, patch, or implant?”

“Um,” Obi-Wan replied intelligently, embarrassed all over again. 

“They’re all as effective as each other and all have their own pros and cons. The implant you can just put in and forget about, but it is long lasting and stays in your system for a year, if you go back on suppressants then we’ll have to take it out which isn’t as pain-free as putting it in. The pill you only take for as long as you need, but you do have to remember to take it, which can be difficult even in the throes of heat, so you might want to discuss with Qui-Gon whether he feels confident he can remind you. 

“And then there’s the patch, which is the best of both worlds in some ways, you can put it anywhere you like so long as it is against your skin and take it off when you’re done. Some people find they’re allergic to the medical glue and it makes them itch, and if you shower during the heat then you need to make sure it’s stayed put.”

“Uh, patch, I think,” Obi-Wan replied, the last thing he wanted to do was forget to take a pill and cause his master no end of trouble, and as he was planning to go back on suppressants as soon as he was allowed, he didn’t see the point in getting anything more long term. 

“Smashing. They last up to a week, so just pop it on when you can feel your heat starting, and throw it away when it’s over. I’ll give you a couple of spares just in case,” Nav said, reaching into one of the drawers and pulling out a few nondescript thin packages. “Also you can keep using scent blockers if you like, but as you have a partner I would recommend you stop along with your suppressants, sometimes the lack of scent can confuse both partners during heat.”

Qui-Gon started asking a range of questions about the heat, whether or not he should be taking Obi-Wan’s temperature, a signs he should look out for that something was amiss and - rather embarrassingly and aimed at both Obi-Wan and Healer Nav - whether or not Obi-Wan would be safe to be knotted. 

“Master!” Obi-Wan said, feeling his face flame. 

“It is important we have these conversations while we are still able, Obi-Wan. Your ability to give informed consent will be...a little eroded, by the time you’re in heat,” his master said, so reasonably and so helpfully, as if this wasn’t an emotional choice or a private matter at all, which, Obi-Wan firmly reminded himself, it wasn’t . 

“I’ve never, uh. I mean, I don’t mind, I’m fine with it, will probably be more than fine with it when I’m in heat. But it would be, the, uh, first time, for me.”

“The first time being knotted?” Qui-Gon asked, looking for clarification, and Obi-Wan felt his cheeks flame all over again. 

“First time, in general. Is that okay, Nav, or is that going to cause problems?” Obi-Wan asked, finding it easier to look at the unfazed healer than at whatever expression his master may or may not have been pulling.

“That’s fine Obi-Wan, your body will know what to do. Though you look concerned, Qui-Gon?” Nav said, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help the way his eyes snapped to his master, finding a mix of emotions on his face that were difficult to separate out enough to read. He worried, perhaps he should have told his master that it was going to be not only his first heat but his first time under any circumstances, perhaps his master didn’t wish to be with anyone so inexperienced, no matter the circumstances.

“Well, I don’t wish to sound vain, but I have been informed that even by the standards of an alpha I am well endowed. I wouldn’t want to hurt Obi-Wan, or prove not fit for the task when it is too late to figure anything else out for him,” Qui-Gon said, and Nav snorted, hiding her laugh behind her datapad. 

Obi-Wan started a simple litany in his head: don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it. 

It was fruitless.

“Oh Qui-Gon, no, you don’t need to worry, omega bodies are very accomodating, I am sure you will be fine.”

“Good to hear,” Qui-Gon replied, his hand coming up to squeeze Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and Obi-Wan felt like a teenager all over again, fixating on the size of his master’s hands - especially now that he knew for sure that yes it was in fact an indication of the size of other things as well.  

Obi-Wan was desperately trying to act normally as they left the healers wing, and Qui-Gon seemed entirely relaxed beside him. Which shouldn’t have been a surprise given that as far as his master was concerned he was only helping his friend, nothing more. 

“I would suggest that we use my quarters, you might help you to be wrapped up in my scent for the duration, but unfortunately I don’t think Anakin would be particularly thrilled by the prospect,” Qui-Gon chuckled, nonchalant as ever. “And as he has presented as an alpha also, the contending scents might not be good for you.”

“It’s okay, we can use my rooms,” Obi-Wan said, it hadn’t occurred to him that there had been another option, but now he felt robbed of the chance to be swaddled into Qui-gon’s comforting scent. 

Wordlessly, his master followed him back to his little-used rooms. Jedi didn’t won many personal items, but even by the standards of jedi, Obi-Wan’s rooms were bare, something which embarrassed him for the first time now that his master was inside. 

“It barely looks like you’ve moved in, let alone lived here for a decade,” Qui-Gon said as he came in, everything generic and as provided by the temple. In his bedroom there was the rock his master had given him, a few trinkets made by Anakin, and a couple of holo pictures of himself and Qui-Gon, and one with Quinlan and Bant; but they were the only things in the rooms that marked them out as his at all.

“Sorry, I’m just away from the temple so often I never really had a chance to make it any more homey, and without a padawan there just isn’t much that I need,” Obi-Wan said, taking his master’s cloak and hanging them both up by the door just like he had done over a decade ago, when it had been his job, and Qui-Gon really had been his master.

“It isn’t always about need,” Qui-gon said softly, and Obi-Wan found that he couldn’t quite meet his eyes. Qui-Gon’s apartments had stopped feeling like home because Obi-Wan hadn’t lived there anymore, but his new rooms had never started feeling like it either. 

“My bedroom has an adjoining ‘fresher, so that should be helpful, and, um, well. I’m not really sure what sort of preparations I need to make, I’ve never done this before,” Obi-Wan said, feeling silly, he was thirty six, he should know more about his secondary gender by now. There were small streaks of gray in his hair for force sake. 

“It’s alright Obi-Wan, can I see your bedroom?” 

“Of course,” Obi-Wan said, opening the door and trying not to fidget as his master went in, failing when Qui-Gon wrinkled his nose. “Is something wrong?”

“It barely smells like you in here.”

“It’ll be the blockers, and well, the fact that I’m barely ever here.”

“I’m just worried that when your omega sides asserts itself you might find it distressing.”

“Sorry,” Obi-Wan said, feeling the overwhelming urge to apologise. 

“It is nothing you need to apologise for, and I have a suggestion, anyway.”

“Oh?”

“Stop taking the blockers now, hopefully your heat will hold off until your scent has soaked into the room a little, and, if you are amenable, I could come off my blockers and stay in your rooms with you. We would only have time to create a surface level scent but it should help.”

“That sounds nice,” Obi-Wan said, not letting the thickness that tried to appear in his voice show as he spoke, smiling at Qui-Gon as if he thought this was nothing more than a helpful suggestion. Which it was. 

“Good. I will get my things and let Anakin know what is happening - although don’t worry, i will make it clear he is to keep it to himself,” Qui-Gon added, and relief filled Obi-Wan. Most jedi were very practical about things like this, but to Obi-Wan it felt private, and he wanted it to remain so, if it could.  

“Thank you, master.”

“It will be nice to spend some time with you again, Obi-Wan, I have missed you terribly over the last ten years,” Qui-Gon said, and a little blossom of hope had the audacity to bloom in Obi-Wan’s gut. He tamped down on it immediately, his heat hadn’t even started yet, he couldn’t afford to think like that. 

Qui-Gon moved onto his couch, it seemed silly given what they were going to be doing in a couple of days - not to mention the fact that when he wa a padawan they had had to share a bed out of sheer necessity on a number of occasions - but Obi-Wan reminded himself that there was a difference between Qui-Gon being willing to help him through his heat, and Qui-Gon having any interest in sharing his bed in a more general sense.

When Obi-Wan woke up the next day he expected to feel immediately different, the first day of his life in twenty years when he wasn’t on suppressants, but he felt mostly the same. His nose was a little more sensitive, but that could just as easily be a result of no longer smoothing himself in blockers as it was anything to do with the suppressants. 

Qui-Gon was already up when he awoke - he had always been the morning person between them - and deep in his morning meditation. Obi-Wan joined him on the mat, sitting opposite and dropping into his own meditation, he preened when his master reached out with the force and bid him a good morning, it felt different than all the times Qui-Gon had bid him a good morning as a padawan, and Obi-Wan wondered if that silly thought was a result of no longer being on his suppressants. 

Obi-wan noticed over breakfast how good his master smelled, his natural scent and Obi-Wan’s uninhibited nose working together to drown out the smell of their food entirely. It was almost distracting, and Obi-Wan wondered how people who neither blocked not suppressed ever went about their day without being distracted. Mostly he thought of all the planets he had visited with his master were suppressants and blockers weren’t even legal, and wondered how anyone had coped in the presence of his master. 

Clearly it was a good thing he had decided to go on suppressants and blockers at sixteen. He would have been a nightmare. 

They walked down to the teaching floor together, and went their separate ways, Qui-Gon was teaching a class about the living force - because of course he was - and Obi-Wan was teaching some of the older initiates about the political relations between the mid and outer rim. 

Obi-Wan’s classes finished first, the older initiates less prone to distraction, and he found his mind lingering on Khi Diakiin, she was nautolan, gifted with the force, and would be thirteen this year. He could sense the barely contained desperation to prove herself, he knew what that felt like, he knew how easily a thirteenth birthday became something to dread.

His mind was still on the young nautolan when he found his way to the doorway to Qui-Gon’s class, and he couldn’t describe the feeling gripped him at what he saw. Qui-Gon laughing freely and with about eight children attempting to scale his ridiculously tall body, many more charging around his feet, as if he were a favoured tree. Something in him ached as he watched, Qui-Gon calling them dastardly and pretending to try and shake the children - barely out of the creche - off of him as they giggled hysterically. 

“Knight Kenobi!” Qui-Gon called dramatically, noticing him in the doorway. “My old padawan! Come save me, I am under attack!” 

“My master!” Obi-Wan called back just as dramatically, startling a new round of giggles as he waded into the sea of children to try and reach Qui-Gon, taking hold of a skinny Twi’lek toddler under her armpits and hauling her off of Qui-gon’s legs. She looked up at him, blinked once, and then shouted at the top of her lungs. 

“GET ‘NOBI TOO!”

Suddenly, every child that wasn’t currently climbing on Qui-Gon made a bid for Obi-Wan’s much more reachable knees and he had to use the force to keep his balance as he was besieged. 

“No padawan, not you too!” Qui-Gon called, another waves of giggles washing through the children. 

“They’re going to defeat us master!” Obi-Wan said with an exaggerated squawk, carefully dropping down to one knee in an exaggerated gesture, as if he were buckling under the weight of so many tiny assailants. He was quite impressed with his tiny assailants, almost every single one of them seemed to be using the force to help them climb, and to great effect. 

“I’ll save you Obi-Wan!” His master shouted and Obi-Wan looked up to see Qui-Gon with two children under each arm, many more wrapped around his long legs, determinedly wading towards him.

“It’s too late for me master,” Obi-Wan laughed, children all the way up to his shoulders and one dangling off his back. 

“Oh no, what can I do to get my padawan back?”

“‘Surrender!” A little togruta under his arm said victoriously, and Qui-gon let out an exaggerated sigh. 

“Oh all right then, we surrender, you win,” Qui-Gon said in a pained voice, and a chorus of cheers went up around the children. 

They all got down - or were put down - and little hands grabbed on to Qui-Gon’s tunics asking him if he was going to be teaching them again tomorrow, new cheers when he said yes, more hands grabbing Obi-Wan asking if he would visit as well. Obi-Wan was fairly sure it was literally impossible to say no to that many pleading eyes. 

He felt a little strange, his mind catching over and over again on how good Qui-Gon was with the younglings, as they started walking towards the dining hall for dinner, but Qui-Gon’s hand settled on the small of his back and Obi-Wan felt better immediately. They sat opposite one another, and Obi-Wan smiled when Anakin joined them, pleased to see him and asking him a million questions about his mission to Geonosis, which had become a little more dangerous than anyone had expected. 

Qui-Gon gave him a scolding look when Obi-Wan didn’t quite finish his meal, but then smiled when Obi-Wan obliged him with a huff. Anakin didn’t bring up Obi-Wan’s impending heat, which Obi-Wan imagined he had Qui-Gon to thank for and the three of them shared a dinner so nice that Obi-Wan felt as though he had been missing out for the last eleven years. 

Obi-Wan felt restless by the time they returned to his apartment, and decided to try and sleep off the lingering funny feeling in his gut, even if he was a little sad he wouldn’t be able to enjoy an evening drink of tea with his master. 

“Are you alright?” Qui-Gon checked when Obi-Wan told him his plans to turn in early. 

“Yes, just tired,” Obi-Wan replied. “And I feel a little strange,” he added, when Qui-Gon made it clear he could still read him easier than that. Qui-Gon pushed the back of his hand against Obi-Wan’s forehead, and stood this close, all Obi-Wan wanted to do was bury his face in his master’s neck, press up against his scent gland and never leave. Which was undoubtedly all the more reason for him to go to bed.

“You aren’t running too hot yet,” Qui-Gon said, pushing back Obi-Wan’s hair a little before dropping his hand. “Don’t hesitate to wake me if you start to feel unwell.”

“Yes master,” Obi-Wan teased, making Qui-Gon roll his eyes. 

“Good to see that you’re still my imp,” he laughed and Obi-Wan turned and retreated back to his room. 

After a full day with neither blockers nor suppressants, Obi-Wan could finally see what his master had meant, the room smelled...absent. Not necessarily wrong or bad, but it just didn’t smell like home, and for the first time, that bothered Obi-Wan. He got himself ready for bed and bundled himself up in his blankets and tried valiantly to ignore how much it was bothering him. 

He managed a few hours of unrestful sleep, tossing and turning, his body and nose searching for something that just wasn’t there to be found. He didn’t really realise what he was going when he got up in the night and padded silently out into the living area and took possession of the cloak and tunics Qui-Gon had been wearing that day, but he felt better as he crawled back into bed with the cloak around him, and snuggled down into the soft fabric and comforting scent of the tunics. 

He was, of course, humiliated when he woke up the next morning and realised what he had done, especially when he had no time to hide anything before his master was knocking on the door. 

“Obi-Wan are you okay, your scent just spiked?” 

“I’m fine,” Obi-wan replied, at least physically he was fairly sure he was fine, but he had clearly gone mad. 

“Good. I can’t find my robes Obi-Wan, do you remember where I put them?” 

“I’m sorry master,” Obi-Wan groaned, burying his face in his hands even though Qui-Gon wasn’t there to see him. 

“About what? Can I come in Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon asked and Obi-Wan sighed, there was no real point in trying to hide it, he would have to return the clothes eventually, he might as well get the embarrassment out of the as quickly as possible. 

“Yes.” Obi-Wan heard the door open and kept his face buried in his hands

“Oh Obi-Wan, what are you apologising for,” his master said gently, the bed dipped beside Obi-Wan and his master’s large hand was rubbing his back, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help but lean just slightly into his scent. 

“I stole your clothes in the middle of the night. It’s weird. And it’s embarrassing.”

“Obi-Wan relax, you’re nesting, I knew it was going to happen, it’s fine, a nest is a good thing,” Qui-Gon reassured and Obi-Wan gave into the urge to rest his head on his master’s shoulder, relieved when Qui-Gon didn’t seem to mind, his arm remaining wrapped around Obi-Wan’s shoulders. 

“It’s - ”

“It is not embarrassing,” Qui-Gon cut him off before he could say it, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if Qui-Gon had even noticed, but he was toying with the hair at the nape of Obi-Wan’s neck, and successfully turning him to goo. 

“I didn’t even know what I was going. You can have your things back, sorry,” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but apologise again. 

“Tsk, Obi-Wan, you wanted these things in your nest, so they’re going to stay in your nest. I know you aren’t used to feeling your omega instincts, much less giving into them, but I want you to make me a promise.”

“Oh?”

“If you get the urge to bring anything in here, I want you to do it. Anything of mine that you want in here, I want you to have in here, it will make your heat the easiest it can be.”

“Okay.”

“Patience Obi-Wan I’m not done yet,” Qui-Gon said, making Obi-Wan squirm. “If you want any particular kind of food, or anything from my rooms, or if anything just doesn’t feel quite right, I want you to promise to tell me right away. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan said, if anything it was a relief, his master would never make an offer like that if it wasn’t genuine. He wondered if he should tell him about the funny feeling he had yesterday, but it had gone away now, so he decided to keep it to himself. 

“I should know more about myself. I’m sorry.”

“I’ve known you twenty three years and I still haven’t managed to get you to stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault,” Qui-Gon replied fondly, Obi-Wan was glad that he hadn’t let go of him yet, keeping Obi-Wan encased in his calming scent. “I should have made sure you learnt more about what being an omega entailed, that was my failing, not yours.”

“You never failed me, master.”

“We both know that isn’t quite true. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it, if you will permit me,” QUi-Gon said, and a tender moment stretched out between them, far longer than Obi-Wan probably should have allowed, given the vulnerable state of his heart, but he was finding himself difficult to deny all of a sudden. 

When they finally got up properly, Qui-Gon put on some of the spare clothes he had with him before nipping back to his own quarters and coming back with what looked like most of his clothes. He told Obi-Wan it was so that he could take whatever he wanted, without having to worry about what Qui-Gon needed for the day, while Obi-Wan blushed and failed to make eye contact. 

The next evening he took the clothes Qui-gon had been wearing all day and smuggled them into his growing nest. It was a pathetic nest really, just Obi-Wan’s standard issue bedding and a few pieces of Qui-Gon’s clothes. He almost cried when Qui-Gon requisitioned some extra blankets, but instead of putting them in Obi-Wan’s nest, put them on the couch, and added his bedding to Obi-Wan’s nest instead. 

For the next two days he slept a little better, although he started to feel a new ache in his chest, a loneliness that had always been there, but had always been ignorable in the past, was now gnawing loudly at him. He wished Qui-Gon was in the nest with him, Obi-Wan had built it for them both and as his heat neared it started to feel more and more like rejection, even though he knew it wasn’t, with the way Qui-Gon was sleeping on the other side of the door, on the couch like a scorned spouse. 

When night was drawing close again, and the thought of sleeping alone was making his skin itch, Obi-Wan found himself lingering in the doorway to his bedroom, fretting and unable to stand still. 

“What is it, little one?” Qui-Gon asked, picking up on his unbalanced mood immediately. Obi-Wan was so glad they had both stopped taking blockers, there was nothing that made him feel as calm as quickly as his master’s soothing, alpha scent. 

“You said I could have anything I wanted in my nest while we waited for my heat?”

“Yes, I remember, and I meant it.”

“Then would you, I mean, I know this isn’t what you meant and of course you can say no. But would you mind sleeping in here? I just think it would make it smell right and I’ve not been able to sleep properly and I was just hoping that maybe that would be okay,” Obi-Wan managed, his hands wringing together nervously, half expecting Qui-Gon to tell him to stop being such a hassle, and go to sleep. 

“Oh Obi-Wan, of course I wouldn’t mind, I would love to sleep in the nest you made for us, I just didn’t want to presume,” Qui-Gon replied, and Obi-Wan felt a little silly again, of course his master wouldn’t think anything of them sharing a bed, they had done so many times in the past. His master had already thoroughly proven that he was not the one that would read too much into them sharing a bed. 

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said, glad when his master gathered up the blankets and pillows he had been sleeping on on the couch and brought them with him into the bedroom. 

“Where would you like these, little one?” He asked, and Obi-Wan plucked the pillows from his hands first. 

He bit at his lip deciding where to put them, thinking, for some reason, that where they went was particularly important for some reason. He made a small sound in the back of his throat when he realised he couldn’t put them where he wanted. His bed was only a double, the standard for a knight, and set in the middle of the room. His nest felt too open, exposed and high up in the middle of the room, and Obi-Wan realised with a spike of distress that he had made a bad nest.

“Obi-Wan, shh, what’s wrong?” Qui-Gon asked one of his large hands falling to Obi-Wan’s neck, his thumb was pressing against Obi-Wan’s scent gland and it calmed him at least a little, his alpha didn’t seem annoyed at him and his bad nest. 

“The nest is no good. It’s too high up and you could fall out! You shouldn’t be able to fall out of a nest, I made a bad nest,” Obi-Wan said, whimpering a little, he felt oddly flayed open, he would never behave this way normally, but he felt a little hot, and he recognised what was happening to him at least. 

“It’s your very first nest Obi-Wan, and I think it’s lovely, but we can change it if you’d like, would you like that?” Qui-Gon asked, and Obi-Wan nodded his head, his fingers finding and holding onto Qui-Gon’s sleep shirt without permission from his brain. 

“How?” Obi-Wan asked, managing to feel like all was lost even though logically he knew that that was ridiculous. The logical part of his brain was having a hard time overriding the more emotional side of his mind the closer his heat got. 

“Well, you don’t like the idea of being up on the bed, where you’re very exposed and can’t build your nest up on the sides, right?” Qui-Gon said, and Obi-Wan nodded. “So what if we moved your bed to the side a little until there is enough room to put the mattress on the floor. Then you can have walls on two sides, the bed on another, and only have one exposed side of your nest. Does that sound good?” 

“Yes, please,” Obi-Wan said, following his master’s easy instructions as they pushed the bed to the side and moved the mattress with a little help from the force. 

He liked his nest better already, and they pushed the bed around until the mattress was snug against the wall and the bed, perfectly enclosed. Qui-Gon let him organise all the bedding, blankets, clothes and pillows, and something inside Obi-Wan did little flips of happiness when he was able to build his nest up at the sides. 

“You don’t mind sleeping on the floor?” Obi-Wan said, finding something else to worry about, Qui-Gon caught his wringing hands in his own, completely enveloping them and stilling their restless movement. 

“Little one, this is the loveliest nest I have ever seen, and there is nowhere I would rather sleep,” Qui-Gon replied, and Obi-Wan felt himself smile and preen.

Obi-Wan tried not to be awkward as he settled down in his comfy nest, Qui-Gon waited for him to get comfortable before crawling into the space beside him. It felt perfect, Obi-Wan was fairly sure he had never been happier, or at least, had never felt this kind of perfect contentment before in his life. He could even convince himself, even though he knew he shouldn’t, that Qui-Gon was here simply because he wanted to be, and they were more to each other than a former master and padawan, and a good pair of friends. It was a nice, if dangerous, fantasy. 

Obi-wan was proud when he resisted the urge to curl into his master’s space before he fell asleep, a thin gap between both their bodies that Obi-wan resented and knew was for the best. 

He felt hot when he woke, sweaty and like his skin was a size too small for him, but he also felt nearly blissful. In the night his master had wrapped up around him from behind, spooning him until Obi-Wan’s back was covered and sweaty from his master’s heat and all their sleep clothes, his master’s hard cock pressed up against the small of his back, explaining the slight slickness Obi-Wan could feel between his cheeks. Qui-Gon had one arm draped over his waist, hand splayed out on Obi-Wan’s chest while the other had buried itself under the pillow Obi-Wan was resting his head on. One of Qui-Gon’s ridiculously long legs had also made its way between Obi-Wan’s. 

He felt entirely encased in his master, and he never wanted to leave, so Obi-Wan pretended to still be asleep.

He felt when Qui-Gon woke up, the cadence of his breathing changing just a little, becoming a bit less deep as his body started to wake up, rutting his hips once, twice up against Obi-Wan’s backside in the haze of sleep, making Obi-Wan’s hole leak a little more slick. 

The feeling of slick between his cheeks wasn’t entirely new to him. He hadn’t had many sexual encounters in his life, and what he had experienced he was sure had been relatively tame, but he had still been Qui-Gon Jinn’s padawan for nine years after presenting, and he had spent many nights alone in his room slick and imagining his master’s fingers in place of his own. But it was the first time he had ever been slick with a partner so close to him, and he was surprised that instead of feeling embarrassed, he liked the way it was making him feel. 

Obi-Wan was sad that he was going to have to move soon, and redoubled his efforts to pretend to be asleep. 

His master seemed content in the force, even when he woke up and fully recognised the position that they were in. He stopped rutting his hips against Obi-Wan but thankfully didn’t move to get up immediately, giving Obi-Wan a few more moments to bask in the perfect feeling gathered around him. 

“I know you’re awake, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon’s sleep rough voice eventually said, when Obi-Wan was not even close to being done lying there. 

“No you don’t,” Obi-Wan muttered, burrowing down deeper into the bedding. He could still feel his master’s cock up against his bottom, was still a little wet from all the contact. He was surprised that his master hadn’t created some space as soon as he had woken up, as he had done the other couple of times this had happened, when Obi-Wan was still his padawan and they had needed to share a bed, Obi-Wan understood that it was a natural morning reaction, especially for alphas. But then again, considered what they were going to be doing as soon as Obi-Wan’s heat hit, perhaps he shouldn’t have found it surprising. 

Qui-Gon chuckled and Obi-Wan made a valiant but futile whine of complaint as Qui-Gon started to disentangle them. He didn’t leave the nest though, sitting up against the wall and pillows, entirely casual considering the large - large - tent in his pyjamas, as he smiled that crinkle smile down at Obi-Wan before he pushed back the hair that had flopped onto Obi-Wan’s forehead and checked his temperature. 

“You’re starting to feel a little hot, how do you feel?” Qui-Gon asked, combing his hand through Obi-Wan’s hair and doing the opposite of motivating him to get out of bed and face the day.

“I’m okay,” Obi-Wan sighed. “I just feel a bit needy at the moment, and maybe a little horny,” he added feeling his face flame, but Qui-Gon was clearly completely capable of being casual about this, so Obi-Wan wanted to be able to do the same. 

“To be expected. Do you feel like you can work today? Your scent hasn’t changed too much yet, but Nav said that it could come on quickly,” Qui-Gon said one of his fingers tracing the curve of Obi-Wan’s ear and making him suppress a shiver. He wished that Qui-gon would touch him with such easy intimacy all the time. 

“I think I want to try,” Obi-Wan replied, as much as lying around all day in their nest sounded incredibly appealing, he knew he wasn’t incapacitated just yet, and shouldn’t shirk his duties already. 

“Alright then, but if you start to feel feverish you need to come right back here, comm me and I will join you right away, understand?” 

“Yes master,” Obi-Wan teased, giggling when Qui-gon gave him a light slap on his shoulder. 

“Imp.”

Before they did anything else, Qui-Gon led Obi-Wan to the ‘fresher and retrieved one of the contraceptive patches from the cabinet and carefully stuck it to Obi-Wan’s back, high up on the right side, over his shoulder blade. He smoothed it over with his big hands, working the glue into Obi-Wan’s skin until they were both satisfied that it was firmly in place, and that they wouldn’t have to worry about it again. 

They made breakfast together and Obi-Wan felt a little hazy all day, but no less capable of doing anything. He didn’t know beyond theory how it felt when a heat came on, but for the moment he only felt a little overheated and itchy in his clothes, so he was sure he was alright for now. 

Qui-Gon checked on him at lunchtime, and when he was satisfied Obi-Wan was still fine, they both went back to finish their classes. By the time the evening rolled around Obi-Wan was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable, and when he saw Qui-Gon again, dismissing his class, the feeling immediately got both better and worse. 

Qui-Gon gathered him into his arms, and the relief was instant, but the steady crawl of desire under his skin started building faster. 

“Go back to your rooms Obi-Wan I’ll get us dinner and bring it to you, I think all the smells of the dining hall might not be good for you right now,” Qui-Gon said, draping his cloak around Obi-Wan’s shoulders and turning him towards the door. 

Obi-Wan didn’t like the idea of being separated from Qui-Gon again so quickly, but he knew that what he was saying made sense, and liked the idea of Qui-Gon bringing him food, and them eating it alone in his rooms. Qui-Gon had to coax him to eat as he’d become so fidgety, even though he brought Obi-wan some of his favourite things - and how he had gotten them from the cooks, Obi-Wan had no idea. He also put a number of containers in Obi-Wan’s refrigerator, one box of which looked suspiciously like Dex’s Six-Sic cake. 

“Do you think you can sleep?” Qui-Gon asked when he was finally satisfied with how much Obi-Wan had eaten, though he had practically had to let Obi-Wan sit in his lap and feed him the last few mouthfuls. Obi-Wan should have found such behaviour humiliating, but somehow he just didn’t, he was wrapped up in Qui-Gon’s arms and nothing else seemed to matter right now. 

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Obi-Wan said, tugging idly at Qui-Gon’s tunic. 

“I would like you to try. Your heat hasn’t hit properly yet and any sleep you can get before it does is a good thing, little one,” Qui-Gon said, rubbing his hands in a soothing motion around Obi-Wan’s arms and shoulders. 

“Okay. You’ll come with me?” 

“Of course,” Qui-Gon smiled, and he helped Obi-Wan to get out of his tunics and into some more comfortable pyjamas, although he wrinkled his nose and refused the shirt, his skin was too hot and too sensitive for it. 

He wouldn’t abide by the scant inches of space between them this time, and tugged at Qui-Gon until he was wrapped up behind him again, just like he had been when they had woken up that morning. He thought that it would be nearly impossible to fall asleep when he felt this antsy, but wrapped up in Qui-Gon, with those thick fingers running through his hair, Obi-Wan drifted off quickly. 

 

----------

 

Obi-Wan woke suddenly and with a whine, he had no idea how long he’d been asleep for and it didn’t matter, nothing mattered except how hot he was, immediately trying to get his pants off and pushing at the blankets of his nest, but his limbs felt uncoordinated and he was just thrashing around, he felt himself starting to get distressed when the strong arms around him moved and squeezed him tighter. 

“Shh little one, what’s the matter? Do you want your pants off?” The deep rumble of Qui-Gon’s voice hit him like a speeder, slamming into him and making slick gush out of his hole, already soaked and creating a wet spot on the bedding that Obi-Wan’s couldn’t have cared less about.  

Qui-Gon smelt different too, his scent was stronger, dominating the air, sharper but in a pleasant way, and every time it filled up Obi-Wan’s nose he felt simultaneously wild from it and reassured. Rut Obi-Wan’s mind supplied, his alpha had gone into rut from his heat, he was doing a good job, being a good omega, and his alpha wanted him.

“Master, please,” Obi-Wan said, panting already and squirming as Qui-Gon helped him out of his clothes and pushed the bedding down. His mind felt foggy, and he felt empty, so much so that it felt like a physical ache, feeling more and more driven to fix that. 

Qui-Gon’s hands were moving, it felt like he was being touched everywhere, but then there were two fingers pushing against his slick hole and making him moan. 

“Ah, ah please!” Obi-Wan cried, trying to push his hips down against those fingers and make them go inside of his hole, he knew it would feel good, so good, just to have something inside of him. 

“You’re so wet, little one,” Qui-Gon murmured, his voice rolling through Obi-Wan in waves that reverberated in his spine. He wanted more, he needed more. His cock was hard against his tummy and leaking too, although not nearly as much as his hole was, he’d never been slick like this before, not in his deepest fantasies as a teenager, and Qui-Gon had barely even touched him. “And you’ve made me rut, such a good omega making me go into rut with you. My cock has been hard all night thinking about you, thinking about burying myself in your wet little hole, breeding you so well, just like your body wants.”

“Please master,” Obi-Wan whimpered when Qui-gon continued to just massage his rim, teasing him awfully and making him drip slick all over his fingers. 

“Please what, little one? What do you want?” Qui-Gon asked, and Obi-Wan knew that in a  few more hours he would hardly be able to speak at all. 

“Want you inside me,” Obi-Wan replied, reaching back and trying to tug his master closer, but he was immovable, and Obi-Wan whined, when he tried to turn over himself, Qui-Gon stopped him with a firm hand on his hip, holding him firmly, so firmly, and making something in Obi-Wan melt. 

“Patience,” Qui-Gon murmured, and Obi-Wan squirmed as those fingers continued pressing at his rim but stubbornly not entering him and Qui-Gon started nosing at the scent gland on his neck. 

“You smell so good little one, you’ve always had such a lovely, enticing scent but now...now you’re intoxicating,” Qui-Gon rumbled, licking at Obi-Wan’s neck, and Obi-Wan had just enough of his brain left to stop himself from begging for a bite, for everything he had wanted from his master for so long. “I can’t get enough of it. Your scent is perfect and your slick , the smell of your slick has been driving me wild since the first time I smelt it.”

The fingers that were toying with Obi-Wan’s hole, pressing against and tugging at his rim moved away suddenly, and Obi-Wan whined in protested, turning his head just enough to see Qui-gon press those fingers to his lips and taste his sleep, a low, pleased growl emanating from his alpha and making Obi-wan shiver and submit.

“So perfect,” Qui-Gon praised, and his strong hands were back on Obi-Wan’s body, moving him like he weighed nothing at all until he was flat on his back, looking up at his alpha and spreading his legs to make room for him. “You’ve got such a sweet little boy, Obi-Wan, so soft and small.”

“Master,” Obi-Wan whined, trying to spread his legs more, and starting to tug at Qui-Gon’s sleep shirt. 

“I said patience, Obi-Wan, be my good omega now,” Qui-Gon murmured, taking one of Obi-wan’s knees in his hand and spreading him a little better as he finally pressed two of his fingers inside of Obi-Wan. 

“Ah!” Obi-Wan moaned, writhing already from such a simple touch. 

Qui-Gon fingers sunk into him easily, with almost no resistance as Obi-Wan’s hole greedily drew them inside, he could easily have pressed in with more, probably even with his cock and while Obi-Wan loved the feeling, pleasuring washing through him as his alpha filled his hole with something, it wasn’t what he was craving.

“Master, I want- I want your cock,” Obi-Wan whimpered, squirming to push himself down on those fingers. Qui-gon could reach so much deeper than Obi-Wan had ever been able to by himself and it felt like he was on fire, this tease only making his need more urgent. 

“I know what you want, little one, but you’re so small, I need to make sure I’m not going to hurt you,” Qui-Gon replied, through gritted teeth as his control was tested, Obi-Wan wanted him to just slam inside of his body, the healer had said it was fine and he wanted it, he needed it. 

“I want your knot, please master- alpha! Please alpha,” Obi-Wan whimpered, Qui-Gon’s nostrils flared and Obi-Wan saw his cock jerk in his loose sleep pants. 

“No little one, you’re so on edge, your hole is so wet and loose already. I’m going to make you come twice before I mount you, so that your perfect little body is completely relaxed for me, you’re going to lose count of how many times I’m going to make you come before your heat is over. You’re ready to come already, aren’t you, just from my fingers. You’re such a good omega, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon praised him, his fingers stroking deep inside of Obi-Wan’s hole. 

Obi-Wan wailed when his master found what he was looking for, pressing the pads of his fingers against Obi-Wan’s sweet spot and making him arch off the bed. Qui-Gon was talking still, but Obi-Wan was incoherent, couldn’t understand what was being said, much less reply as Qui-Gon rubbed at his prostate until Obi-Wan’s first orgasm shattered through him. His cock spurted come over his belly while his hole gushed around Qui-Gon’s fingers, it felt like it lasted an impossibly long time, his master milking him through what seemed like never ending aftershocks of his orgasm until his cock finally stopped dribbling come, his skin messy with it already. Qui-Gon was still speaking when he finally came back around to reality. 

“Perfect Obi-Wan, your body is perfect. You look so lovely when you come, how long has it been, hmm? Since you last made yourself come? You’ve made yourself so messy that I think it might have been a while. You need to take better care of yourself, little one, don’t neglect your needy hole.”

“A-alpha,” Obi-Wan whimpered, surprised he was able to form words, he felt embarrassed by what he was saying, and that his master knew it had been a long time since he had pleasured himself, since he had last allowed himself to think of his master and chase release. “Please.” 

He tugged at Qui-Gon’s shirt, because his master hadn’t even undressed yet, and he whined unhappily as Qui-Gon carefully pulled his fingers from Obi-Wan’s hole. 

“Shh little one,” he soothed, though Obi-Wan was back to aching and feeling horrible empty, like he was being carved out every second he didn’t have his alpha filling him. His cock hadn’t even gone soft, his orgasm had only given him seconds of relief before simply making his need worse, he needed to be filled, he needed his alpha’s cock, needed his come buried inside of him, needed to be knotted and kept and used until he was full. “I’m not going to leave you wanting.”

Qui-Gon pulled his shirt off and beared his beautiful, broad chest to Obi-Wan, His shoulders were strong and corded with muscles, his chest was defined but not obnoxiously so, but as Obi-Wan’s eyes travelled lower, he found an old familiar scar, a perfect circle right in the center of Qui-Gon’s sternum and couldn’t help but remember that day, how sure he had been that his master was going to die in his arms. He placed his hand over the scar and whined, unable to communicate exactly how he felt, the hollow feeling in his chest that just the idea of being without Qui-Gon gave him. 

“Oh Obi-Wan,” Qui-gon cooed, covering Obi-Wan’s small hand completely with one of his own. “It’s alright. I’m here. You kept me safe, and now I’m going to do the same for you. Do you need me to cover it up?” He asked, and Obi-Wan slowly shook his head, but he couldn’t stop stroking over the scar. 

Qui-Gon distracted him from his swirling thoughts with the head of his body, crowing over him and pressing kisses down Obi-Wan’s chest, not stopping until he came to one of Obi-Wan’s nipples, and took the hard buds into his mouth. Obi-Wan whined as his master sucked at him, and his heat-addled mind flashed with the image of him with full breasts and a round stomach, shaken with how badly he wanted that, his cock jerking and Obi-Wan burying his hands on Qui-Gon’s hair as his desperation increased. 

Qui-Gon didn’t rush, he would never be rushed, but he did sink two fingers back into Obi-Wan’s hole as he continued to lavish attention on his nipples. He didn’t move them, only pressed them deep to stave away the unpleasant empty feeling that was building in Obi-Wan again. It was nice, intimate, to have Qui-Gon’s fingers inside of him while he bit and licked at Obi-Wan’s sensitive nipples, making arousal soak through him, his hole leaking slick with every move of his master’s mouth. 

“Alpha,” Obi-Wan whimpered as Qui-Gon tugged on one of his nipples with his teeth, both of them were rosy red from the attention, and he felt ready to come again already. The fingers in his hole had started moving and Obi-Wan was beginning to realise that he still wasn’t even completely in heat yet, but with every minute that passed he was sinking deeper, getting hotter, the itch under his skin building, the desperate need to be filled getting harder and harder to ignore. 

“Imagine how good you’d look with full tits,” Qui-Gon murmured, looking up at Obi-Wan and sucking at him between his words, chuckling lowly as Obi-Wan whined and tried to rut down onto his fingers. “They’d suit you, little one, and I’d help you whenever they hurt, would you like that?”

“Alpha, please,” Obi-Wan whimpered, beginning to wonder if those were the only two words that he knew, his breath hitching helpless as Qui-Gon drove his fingers deeper. 

“You’re ready to come again already, aren’t you? Just from having your nipples played with, have you ever given them attention before, Obi-Wan?” 

“N-no,” Obi-Wan admitted, and he squirmed when his master tsked at him. 

“Such a shame, they’re so lovely. But I’ll admit, I like the idea of being the only one to ever touch them, do you like that too?”

“Yes alpha, just you,” Obi-Wan panted, Qui-Gon was fucking him on his fingers more thoroughly now, and when a third pressed into his hole and filled him Obi-Wan’s cock jerked and spilled a second time. 

His body tensed and Obi-Wan’s hands flew up to his master’s shoulder’s as he came, gripping him hard, Qui-Gon growling as Obi-Wan’s nails dug into his skin, the possessive sound making Obi-Wan’s hole leak more slick, the bed beneath him soaked already. Qui-Gon was kissing his way up Obi-Wan’s chest, laving kisses over the scent gland on his neck before kissing and biting at his jaw. 

Qui-Gon pulled back before he could kiss Obi-Wan’s lips, and a flash of disappointment ran through him before he was distracted by a fourth finger pressed into his hole. He was so slick and loose and ready for his master’s alpha cock that he took it easily, even when his master spread his fingers inside his hole, and Obi-Wan preened at the pleased and aroused rumble that Qui-Gon gave him. 

Qui-Gon let out a low chuckle as Obi-Wan pawed ineffectually at the waistband of his sleep pants, they were loose the bulge from his cock was obscene and Obi-Wan wanted to see it, wanted to feel it inside of him more than he had ever wanted anything before. 

“Alright little one,” Qui-Gon purred, pulling his fingers free and moving back just enough to take off his pants before crowding back over Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan pushed at his alpha’s chest, getting him to sit back enough so that he could see , thoroughly distracted from the aching emptiness that was back to running through him by the sight of his master’s cock. He hadn’t been lying to Nav, that was for sure, Obi-Wan didn’t have much basis for comparison, omega cocks were much smaller anyway, but even he knew that his master was huge, and he felt his mouth water and hole ache at the same time. 

“I wanna…” Obi-Wan trailed off, he didn’t know what he wanted, he wanted it all, didn’t want to have to decide, he just wanted his master’s cock. Was letting himself want it in a way that he always had, but that had been ruthlessly controlled for twenty years. 

“I know, and I think you’re ready for me, aren’t you, little one,” his master murmured and Obi-Wan whined high in his throat when he felt Qui-Gon press the fat head of his cock up against his wet hole. 

He tried to push down against it but his alpha held him still, teasing Obi-Wan with the press of his cock for what felt like hours but could only have been seconds. The first press of his master’s cock inside of him was electric, Obi-Wan felt like every atom of his being was a nerve ending, the heat inside of him building to a crescendo as it finally got what it had been craving. 

Obi-Wan was loose and wet, but he could still feel the wide stretch of his master’s thick cock breaching his hole, filling him to the brim with every inch that pressed inside of him. It felt impossible, how long it took for his alpha to seat himself fully in Obi-Wan’s ass, he was so deep and Obi-Wan’s eyes were rolling back at how good it felt, how full he was, a craving that he was sure couldn’t have possibly been satisfied going quiet for a few blissful moment as Qui-Gon’s cock stretched him wide. 

Obi-Wan whimpered when he felt Qui-Gon’s hips press against his ass, his alpha blanketing his larger body over Obi-Wan, making him feel so safe and so cared for in such a primal way. Qui-Gon was petting his sides, letting Obi-Wan get used to the feeling of his alpha’s cock inside of him, and Obi-Wan moaned when Qui-Gon pressed a possessive hand to Obi-Wan’s lower tummy and pressed down. 

“I can feel myself inside you, little one,” Qui-Gon murmured, and Obi-Wan whined, only growing more desperate when his alpha took his hand and proved it to him. 

Knowing that his alpha’s cock was so big that he could feel it from outside of his body made Obi-Wan feel wild, the craving that had been momentality satisfied roared back to life, he was finally filled, but now he needed to be fucked, he needed his alpha to fuck him and knot him and breed him until he was fat with his litter. 

“F-fuck me, alpha, please. Need it,” Obi-Wan whimpered, and Qui-Gon smiled at him, praised him for managing to get the words out despite his state, before pulling back his hips and snapping forwards again. 

Obi-Wan cried out at the feeling, felt his hole gushing slick around the thick cock splitting him open, his alpha thrust into him again and Obi-Wan slammed his head back against the pillow, raking his nails over Qui-Gon’s shoulders as he came for a third time. He should have been exhausted but the relief was minimal, every climax seemed to only drive his need higher, make him crave his alpha’s knot even more. 

Qui-Gon growled as Obi-Wan came, holding his hips in a bruising grip and fucking into his body harder. Obi-Wan’s breath caught as he felt his master’s knot begging to catch on his rim, he wrapped his legs around Qui-Gon’s waist to hold on as he was fucked with hard and deeper thrusts until he was force to brace one of his hands against the wall.

“Alpha, alpha, need - ah - need your knot, please alpha, please, need it,” Obi-Wan panted, his cock was still hard even after three orgasms and he felt dizzy with it, the combination of his first real heat and so many years of wanting his master making him completely insatiable. 

With every thrust of his master’s hips he slammed into Obi-Wan’s prostate, obscene wet slapping noises coming from where they were joined. Qui-Gon’s hands were on his  waist, almost able to span it completely, holding him so hard Obi-Wan knew he would have bruises come morning, loved that he would have bruises come morning. He wanted his alpha to mark him up, to claim him, to show everyone how wanted he was, that he belonged to someone.

“So good, your greedy hole is so perfect around my cock. Do you feel that, little one? Can you feel my knot, I’m going to fill you up with my come until your little tummy is fat with it,” Qui-Gon purred, making Obi-Wan moan loudly, tug on his alpha’s shoulders, he wanted it now, he didn’t want to have to wait another second. “You like the thought of that hmm? Being stuffed full of my come until you’re dripping with it.”

“Yes, yes alpha!” Obi-Wan wailed. 

Qui-Gon growled holding him tighter and redoubling his efforts, filth was dripping from his lips, about how he was going to fill Obi-Wan up, mark him with his come and his scent and his teeth until everyone knew that Obi-Wan was taken, it was everything Obi-Wan wanted to hear, and he clung to his master as he ploughed into his sloppy hole. 

“I’m yours, I’m yours master, alpha, fill me up, please,” Obi-Wan whimpered, his ankles locking together at the small of Qui-Gon’s back. 

With a roar Qui-gon gripped him tighter, fucking him harder and then Obi-Wan felt him come, felt his master painting his insides, that primal thing that was driving his heat crying out in satisfaction as he was filled. The Obi-Wan felt his master’s knot start to swell, his eyes rolling back as he was stretched and stretched around that huge knot, Qui-Gon was growling steadily in his ear, caging Obi-Wan beneath him and keeping still as his knot grew bigger and bigger until they were completely tied together. 

Just when he thought it was going to be too much, Qui-Gon’s knot stopped getting bigger, and Obi-Wan was able to enjoy the intense feeling of being stretched so wide for his master, he didn’t even realise that he was making content little mewls until his alpha chuckled.

“Do you like my knot, little one?” He asked voice slightly strained, and Obi-Wan nodded, that craving under his skin satisfied as his alpha pumped him full of come. 

He whimpered when Qui-Gon settled and started laying biting kisses against his skin, on his chest, around his nipples, on his jaw, but only ever nosing over his scent gland. Obi-Wan wanted Qui-Gon to bite him there, had wanted his master to bite him there for two decades, and he felt sharp, all of a sudden, every moment he spent only nosing at that spot.

“Little one what’s wrong?” His alpha purred, concern lacing his voice as he picked up on the slight change in Obi-Wan’s scent, while he kissed at that spot Obi-Wan desperately wanted him to bite. But Obi-Wan had just enough of his mind left to know that he couldn’t ask for it, that that was not what his master had signed on for. 

“Want more,” Obi-Wan mumbled, it was close enough to the truth, his alpha’s knot hadn’t even started to go down yet but he had stopped coming and Obi-Wan could feel his need beginning to build again already. 

“Such a greedy omega,” Qui-Gon murmured as he started to grind his hips in small circles, rubbing his knot against Obi-Wan’s sweet spot and making him whine, distracting him from the bite he wanted with pleasure. “Are you going to come again already, hmm?” His alpha teased, wrapping his hand around Obi-Wan’s cock and milking his overstimulated body. 

Qui-Gon ground into him, growling over every happy, hypersensitive noise he managed to wring out of Obi-Wan until his master made him come again, his cock only managing to dribble out a little bit of come as his balls ached.

“There you go,” Qui-Gon cooed, stroking Obi-wan’s cock until he was shaking and pushing at his hand begging with his body to be let go.

Obi-Wan tried to find some words, but they were all slipping away from him and he couldn’t hold on to any of them as his alpha petted and kissed his skin, so instead he just made soft noises and curled into Qui-Gon’s warmth. He was content as they lay their together, under the blanket of attention his master was paying him, even when his knot deflated and he was able to carefully pull his cock free. 

“Do you think you can sleep?” Qui-Gon asked, and Obi-Wan made an incoherent noise as he cuddled closer to his master, missing the feeling of him filling up his hole already. “The second wave is going to be more intense, it would be good if you could nap, little one,” his alpha said, rubbing his tummy comfortingly as he manhandled Obi-Wan, putting two pillows under his bottom and tilting his hips, Obi-Wan moaning when he realised his alpha was trying to keep his come inside. 

He didn’t answer, didn’t feel like he could speak, but Qui-Gon didn’t seem to mind as he enveloped his large body around Obi-Wan’s smaller frame. He pressed two of his large fingers against Obi-Wan’s lips and he was confused at first, but opened his mouth on instinct, pulling the fingers into his mouth and sucking on them without thought, becoming even more relaxed as he did so. Qui-Gon was murmuring to him, using his free hand to stroke Obi-Wan’s flank, occasionally push his come back into his hole, and Obi-Wan felt so doted on that he did fall into a nap. 

When he woke again his mind was muddy and he was whimpering steadily, his heat was drowning him now, every muscle in his body ached and he started crying incoherently he felt so empty. His alpha was hushing him, big hands all over his body as his alpha’s cock pushed back inside of him, giving him some relief and fucking him hard, getting deep inside of him on every thrust. 

Everything became a blur after that, Obi-Wan hardly able to process the things that were happening beyond pleasure more alpha need please , he remembered everything but as if he were seeing it through a haze. He remembered getting on his knees and dropping his shoulders into the nest, presenting for his alpha and coming hard when Qui-Gon mounted him. 

He remembered his master coming in his hole over and over again, filling him up until his belly was bulging with it, and he remembered his alpha coming on his chest as well, rubbing his come - his scent - into Obi-Wan’s skin. He remembered begging, begging constantly for more, being relieved his alpha was in rut so that he could keep up with the intensity of Obi-Wan’s heat, their nest almost as soaked in come as Obi-Wan was.

He remembered Qui-Gon coaxing him to nap and waking up with his alpha’s cock already fucking him every time he did, keeping him satisfied, stopping him from crying from need again. He remembered Qui-Gon getting him to eat, feeding him bites of cake and fruit from his fingertips while his knot was snug in Obi-Wan’s ass to keep up his strength. He remembered being carried to the ‘fresher, crying to be out of his nest but held the entire time as Qui-Gon washed him and cared for him, and made parts of Obi-Wan ache that had nothing to do with his heat.

He remembered saying things that he knew he shouldn’t have, begging for a bite, telling his alpha that he loved him. He wondered how hazy rut made alphas, wondered if there was a chance - a mercy - that his master might not remember those moments. 

He was awake again, his master had been diligent at getting him to sleep during the scant lulls in his heat. He thought it was the fifth day, but he couldn’t be entirely certain and he felt relatively cognizant again, the uncontrollable urge to have his master’s cock and knot was now back to his normal, far more controllable levels. 

At the moment, Qui-Gon was still settled in his nest, curled around Obi-Wan and drawing absent patterns with his fingertips against his skin. It was nice, his nest was warm and cosy, and without the wild itch of heat under his skin, he could enjoy the feeling of simply being together with his master, in a way that he had never believed he would be able to have. It was nice, even if it was only temporary. 

“Welcome back, little one,” Qui-Gon murmured after a few content moments had passed, and Obi-Wan wished it could have gone on a little longer. He could almost have convinced himself that this was any morning between them, could be the normal for them both. It was a nice fantasy.

“Morning,” Obi-Wan managed, his voice was scratchy, because he had been using it to do nothing but scream for the last five days. 

“Afternoon, I think you mean,” Qui-Gon chuckled in return. Obi-Wan fidgeted and turned in his arms, just so that he could see the crinkle smile that he loved so much, and in the soft light coming through the blinds, it seemed even more beautiful than usual. 

“Is it? Sorry,” Obi-Wan mumbled, it certainly felt like a morning, for all that he wanted to be awake, and Qui-Gon chuckled again as he nuzzled his face sleepily into the pillow. 

He was glad that Qui-Gon’s hands hadn’t stopped touching him, he felt raw from the last five days, and something inside of him was terrified that everything was going to change between them, but the fingers tracing symbols across his skin helped to keep him grounded.

“How are you feeling?” His master’s hair was as messy as Obi-Wan had ever seen it - and that was saying something, considering their disastrous mission to Bogano all those years ago.

“Fine,” Obi-Wan replied, he had already been enough of a bother to his master, and he was sure that whatever this raw feeling was it would go away in time.

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said in a chiding tone, his hand resting on Obi-Wan’s hip now, warm and big against him. “You need to be honest with me. It’s alright if you need a little aftercare, that was an intense few days, and you aren’t used to heats in the first place.”

“I guess I feel a bit vulnerable,” Obi-Wan admitted, and he hid his shiver when Qui-Gon lent forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. It reminded Obi-Wan that for all their activities over the last five days, he was almost certain they had never kissed. It wasn’t sure which he disliked more, that they really hadn’t, even after all that, or that they had and Obi-Wan just didn’t remember it. Neither was very appealing. 

“Thank you for telling me. Would you mind if I checked you over?” Qui-Gon asked, petting his flank soothingly while Obi-Wan tried not to gaze too obviously at Qui-gon, but it was hard given the way he was feeling, they way all he really wanted to do was burrow into Qui-Gon’s strong arms and be held and never let go

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan replied, and his master smiled fondly.

“I mean that your body has been through a lot, it would give me some peace of mind to know that you had come through unscathed, well, relatively so,” Qui-Gon said, running a thumb over one of the many bite marks littering Obi-Wan’s skin. 

“Oh,” Obi-Wan said, blushing when he realised what Qui-Gon meant. “Um, yes, I don’t mind.”

“Thank you little one,” Qui-Gon replied, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s shoulder before moving between Obi-Wan’s legs once again. 

Obi-Wan felt his cheeks heating with embarrassment and Qui-Gon gently checked his wrecked hole, he hid his face in his hands as his master carefully pressed a finger inside of him, he was sloppy and wet but without damage apparently, and his master chuckled at his embarrassment and kissed his knee. 

He was mortified over the fact that he felt aroused again just from that gentle touch, his hole was so wet his master was unlikely to notice the extra bit of slick that leaked out of him, and hoped in vain that he wouldn’t notice how his cock was thickening again. Qui-Gon did notice, of course, and raised an amused eyebrow at Obi-Wan. 

“Already?” Qui-Gon asked, sounding awfully fond and amused, and Obi-Wan hid his face in his hands, whined when his master ran a finger up his cock, and made it even harder.

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not, I could help, if you liked,” Qui-Gon offered, so nonchalant about it that it almost hurt. Obi-Wan wanted to say yes, but he wasn’t in heat anymore, and he wouldn’t have the excuse if he said anything he shouldn’t. Also for his personal sanity, it was better that he kept some boundaries for himself.  

“N-no I, I think I’m done for now, no matter what my body is trying to say,” Obi-Wan said, squirming up into a sitting position, both of them still ensconced in the comfort of their nest, drenched in the scent of each other, so mingled that it had become its own scent, something Obi-Wan wished that he carried all the time, something that he wished was embedded so deeply into his skin that it would never change.

“Of course,” Qui-Gon said softly, bending down and kissing Obi-Wan’s knee a second time before sitting back up again.  

Once again Obi-Wan tried not to let himself get upset that even in the throes of heat, his master still hadn’t kissed him. He had known what this was after all, but it just made him feel worse about some of the things that he could half remember blurting.

A moment was stretching out between them, and Qui-Gon looked fond, so very fond. The silence felt comfortable but Obi-Wan was fidgeting while Qui-Gon just watched him calmly, a half smile on his lips. His master was so at ease, that Obi-Wan felt suddenly guilty for and embarrassed of all of the extra emotions that were churning around his gut, emotions that his master neither shared nor wanted, and Obi-Wan felt compelled to fill the silence. 

“If I...if I said anything, Qui-Gon, I am sorry I wasn’t in my right mind,” Obi-Wan said, he remembered his heat, but only in haze flashes. He was fairly sure words had spilled from his lips that he had vowed to keep hidden his entire life, he could only hope that Qui-Gon put them down to a heat addled mind and the best sex of Obi-Wan’s life. He wasn’t sure if he could bear it if his master tried to put some space between them. 

“It’s fine Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said with a faint smile, looking away from him, now, over his shoulder even though Obi-Wan knew there was nothing but wall there. “I know that the things said in heat are...muddied at best. Do you feel ready for some food?” Qui-Gon changed the subject, a smile on his face that Obi-Wan thought seemed forced, though he wasn’t sure why, he wondered if he had misstepped without realising, if he shouldn’t have brought up the things he had said at all. 

“Yes, although I think I want a shower too,” Obi-Wan replied. A part of him, the primal part that was still foggy from heat, rebelled at the idea of him washing and scrubbing away Qui-Gon’s scent that currently covered his skin. But more of him was becoming aware of the reality of dry slick and come all over his skin, no matter how much Qui-Gon had tried to clean him up as they went. 

“Do you feel able to stand?” Qui-Gon asked, and Obi-Wan nodded. “Well, if you feel safe to then I see no reason why you couldn’t shower while I rustle us up some food. But if you don’t want to be alone just yet then just say, little one, we can shower together and the food can wait.”

The offer so easily coming from his master made Obi-Wan’s heart clench, he wasn’t in heat any more yet here Qui-Gon was doting on him hand and foot, offering to wash with him in the fresher. Truthfully, Obi-Wan didn’t want to be left on his own right now, not for anything, he never wanted Qui-Gon gone from his side, no matter how used to it he had grown over the years. But he knew that it was best he pulled away before his master started to suspect the truth of some of the things Obi-Wan had said in heat.

“I’d like some food,” Obi-Wan said, his voice sounding small, and Qui-Gon’s face was oddly unreadable. 

Qui-Gon helped him to the ‘fresher anyway, only leaving when he was satisfied Obi-Wan was telling the truth about his ability to remain upright. Obi-Wan was both relieved and upset when Qui-Gon finally left the ‘fresher, and he ended up resting his forehead against the glass of the shower, trying to enjoy the way the water was beating against his back, but only able to fixate on how he could feel his master’s scent washing from his skin. 

It wouldn’t be so easy were it not for the fact that the scent marking had only been skin deep, there was no substitute for the way scents merged through time and living together. It had never happened when they were master and padawan, but only because they had both been on scent blockers the whole time; for the best, Obi-Wan had no doubt. 

Obi-Wan did his best to pull himself together, peeled off the birth control patch and washed himself methodically, scrubbing down his skin until it was rosy pink and managing to get embarrassed even though he was the only one in the room when he was forced to spend some time washing his hole, still dripping with his alpha’s come - no, not his alpha, Qui-Gon, his master, who cared for him enough to assist him through his heat. It wouldn’t do Obi-Wan any good to think about him in such possessive terms. 

Even so, the part of Obi-Wan that was omega, and so unused to being uncaged as it was right now, ached and whined as Obi-Wan cleaned himself up, as the more logical side of Obi-Wan forcibly released feeling after feeling to the force until he was exhausted with it. 

He didn’t have any clothes in the ‘fresher with him, which he only realised when he stepped out of the shower and towelled himself off - clothes hadn’t exactly been at the forefront of his mind for the last few days. So instead Obi-Wan reached for the boring flannel dressing down that hung on the back of the door, and wrapped it around himself. It felt scratchy against his skin, and too confining so soon after his heat, to the point that Obi-Wan was almost relieved that he hadn’t had any clothes available, they would probably feel awful. 

Back in his rooms, Qui-Gon was in the kitchen, using up the last of what he had smuggled into Obi-Wan’s fridge and cupboards before his heat had started, and throwing together what looked like a veritable feast, and had Obi-Wan’s stomach rumbling loudly enough to make his master look up with an amused smile. 

“Sit down Obi-Wan, it’ll be ready soon,” Qui-Gon said, pointing Obi-Wan towards the couch instead of the dining table, and Obi-Wan sunk into it gratefully, the fabric still holding some of his master’s scent from when he had been sleeping here. For all that Obi-Wan was keen to get back on suppressants, he wasn’t at all sure how he felt about the blockers anymore. 

Qui-Gon brought over what looked like far too much food, but that Obi-Wan’s body assured him he was going to demolish after five days of vigorous activity and not a lot of food intake. Qui-Gon sat down beside him and raised an eyebrow - and then his arm - when Obi-Wan fidgeted. 

“There is no shame in needing a little comfort after such a new and intimate experience, little one,” he said when Obi-Wan hesitated to move, but he gratefully cuddled into Qui-Gon’s side after he spoke. 

They ate together with Obi-Wan tucked under his master’s arm, eating more bites than he probably should have from his master’s fingers, and wondering if they could stay like this forever, even though he well knew the multitude of reasons why they couldn’t.

Qui-Gon stayed close for the rest of the day, even going so far as to call Nav for Obi-Wan and organise an appointment for the next morning. Obi-Wan was glad not to have been left on his own, his master hardly straying more than a few metres away from him all day, in some ways, it was no surprise that Qui-Gon knew what he needed better than he did himself. 

Obi-Wan was surprised that he was tired despite not waking up until the afternoon when evening drew around, but the after effects of his heat were still itching over his skin, and he lingered in the doorway to his room. His next was still intact, but everything had been washed that afternoon, mostly by Obi-Wan, wrinkling his nose at the state of the sheets despite Qui-Gon’s caution that he might not want to rid himself of the scent just yet. 

He should have listened to his master, because now he was eying his nest sadly, knowing that it didn’t smell right, especially as Qui-Gon was setting back up to sleep on the couch. It was a testament to how off-kilter he still felt, that he turned and shuffled his feet and spoke to his master. 

“Qui-Gon…?”

“Yes little one?” Qui-Gon replied, looking up from where he was arranging the one pillow he had taken from the nest to use for the night. Obi-Wan had eleven pillows in the nest, but he would rather curl up on the bare couch with his master. 

“Would you - I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to of course - but would you mind maybe staying with me in the nest another night? I know my heat is over but I just, I don’t feel quite myself yet,” Obi-Wan said, trying not to fidget and ignoring the part of his mind that was telling him that clearly Qui-Gon was trying to get away from him as fast as possible, because he knew logically that that was not true. 

“Of course I don’t mind,” Qui-Gon smiled softly, standing and picking up his single pillow and blanket, “I had only not wanted to assume.”

Qui-Gon followed him back into the bedroom, added the pillow and blanket to the nest and crawled into it, and Obi-Wan felt a weight he hadn’t even realised he was carrying leave his shoulders when Qui-Gon then lifted the blankets and his arm and encouraged Obi-Wan to nestle in against his chest. 

 

------------

 

Nav was muttering away, speaking in a way that was more to help her think than something Obi-Wan was supposed to hear or understand, so he tuned her out as she tapped away at a data pad and mutter to herself, focusing instead on Qui-Gon’s warm hand at the small of his back, the way he was standing just a few inches closer that he had before. 

One of Qui-Gon’s thumbs was brushing back and forth comfortingly, and Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if it would be better if he extracted himself from it, or if he should enjoy it while he could. Before he could decide, Nav spoke. 

“Okay, I know this isn’t what you’re going to want to hear Obi-Wan, but looking at your biochem, you’re going to need another heat,” she sighed, her stylus whizzing over the datapad before turning it to Obi-Wan, so that he could see for himself.

“Alright,” Obi-Wan replied, trying not to let his conflicting emotions show, he was a jedi, even if it was natural to be a bit less in control of his emotions so soon after a heat, he still didn’t want it to show it. “We knew that was a possibility.”

“Still, I know it isn’t what you wanted, I just can’t in good conscience put you back on suppressants just yet.”

“Twenty to sixty days, until it arrives, if I recall.”

“Yeah, sorry I can’t be more specific, your body never developed a natural rhythm, and everyone reacts differently. I hope you’re enjoying your teaching at least,” Nav asked, sounding a little hopeful, probably having heard about the increased noise and laughter levels in the creche. 

“It has been nice,” Obi-Wan offered her a small smile, and a genuine one, he enjoyed being around the younglings more than he had expected. 

“Another small bit of good news is that you should be more coherent for the next one. Unless Qui-Gon here is particularly good at his job that is,” she grinned, turning Obi-Wan’s relief into a full bodied blush that he was glad was covered past his neck. Qui-Gon gave a good natured chuckle and continued to pet his lower back. 

“You’d have to ask Obi-Wan about that,” he replied, sounding serene and far too put together while Obi-Wan’s face flamed. 

“Um,” Obi-Wan said, sending the other two into little chortles, but none of it malicious. 

“Is there anything I can do for him?” Qui-Gon asked, making a warm feeling spread out in Obi-Wan’s chest, he had missed the feeling of Qui-Gon looking after him, always something rare, his enjoyment of which had evolved after he had presented and grown more mature. 

“No, seems like you were good at getting him to eat and drink enough during the heat which is the biggest thing, so just keep doing that. If his heat comes closer to twenty days than sixty then your body might have trouble going into rut again, your natural rhythm is much longer, but I’m sure you can keep up anyway.”

“I will endeavour to do my best. And between now and the next heat?” 

“Not really, you’re model heat patients,” Nav smiled, Obi-Wan half wished she’d had some reason to say that Qui-Gon should deliver Obi-Wan shirts every now and then, but he knew there was no reason for her to say such a thing. 

“I’m sorry to take up more of your time,” Obi-Wan said as they left, the hand had finally left his back and he felt awkward without it, unsteady; he hated heats. 

“Not at all Obi-Wan, I don’t mind. I was here teaching anyway, and you are no hardship, whatever we might be doing together,” Qui-Gon replied, taking Obi-Wan’s hand in his own and squeezing it. Obi-Wan wished he was brave enough - stupid enough - to try and link their fingers together, he was close enough to his heat that Qui-Gon would probably let him get away with it, but his hand was released before he could summon the courage, and it was probably for the best anyway. 

“If you’re sure,” Obi-Wan said. When he was a padawan, he hadn’t had any compunctions about monopolosing Qui-Gon’s time, but things were different now, and he was reminded of it every day. 

“I am. Now, you’re probably starving because in my experience omegas are ravenous for days after their heats,” Qui-Gon said, and Obi-Wan brutally silenced the twinge of jealousy his heart tried to ignite. “So how would you feel about going to Dex’s to find something delicious, and then eat far too much of it?” 

“I’d like that,” Obi-Wan smiled, and let Qui-Gon lead the way. 

They went back to their teaching routine after that, initiates that were excited to have such prominent jedi around to teach them, younglings that were excited about everything, and Qui-Gon who insisted on more trips out the temple - both for their students and for Obi-Wan, than anyone else in the huge building. 

The lack of suppressants was noticeable, both when Qui-Gon was around, and perhaps even more when he wasn’t. Near him, something deep and primal in Obi-Wan’s gut pined alpha , he got distracted by how large Qui-Gon was, by memories he shouldn’t be thinking about, felt safe and content and never wanted to move away from his scent. 

When they were apart, in the quiet evenings Obi-Wan shared with no one but his empty apartment, Obi-Wan ached in a way he never had before. He’d loved Qui-Gon for so long he knew what it was to want and be alone anyway, but this was different, like an extra sense come alive, and stifled anyway. 

He had also thought he would have been sick of sex after days of nothing else, but he had never been hornier in his life, days spent around Qui-Gon slowly winding him up with things he couldn’t ignore, the most innocent of actions from his master reminding him of something obscene that had happened between them and invariably led to some of that quiet evening of his spread out on his bed with three fingers buried deep inside of him, desperate to come and aching for what he really wanted. 

His life had been much simpler on suppressants, certain things; desires and wants, more easily ignored. But he was a jedi, and he mastered himself anyway, until the door shut behind him for the evening, at least.  

 

------------

 

It had been thirty days, and they both knew it wasn’t going to be much longer. Four days ago Obi-Wan had started building his nest, and Qui-Gon had started sleeping in it two days ago, as he became helplessly clingier. Qui-Gon was, of course, nothing short of perfect in return, doing whatever he could to make Obi-Wan comfortable, giving him whatever he wanted and not letting a shred of embarrassment work through. Not even when he had coopted all of Qui-Gon’s lunch break because he wanted to be cuddled and not let go. 

The nest was build the same as it had been the first time, Qui-Gon helping him to shift his bed again so that they could create an intimate, more safely enclosed space, and his master had been filling Obi-Wan’s fridge with his favourite foods since the first signs, and soothing away Obi-Wan’s anxious jitters. 

He knew before bed when it was just a few hours away, his scent had changed, was effecting Qui-Gon, his eyes already dilating, his own scent answering in turn, Obi-Wan trying not to preen at how easily and quickly his heat had started to trigger Qui-Gon’s rut, despite what Nav had said.

“See if you can get a few hours sleep,” Qui-Gon murmured, circling around Obi-Wan’s jittering body in the nest after setting some water within reach. He pressed close, unembarrassed by the way he was pressing his half hard cock against Obi-Wan’s ass, Obi-Wan’s sleep pants already getting a little damp and doing less than nothing to calm him down enough to sleep. 

He let Qui-Gon use a force suggestion to help him sleep, the heat making him so willing to submit to his alpha that Obi-Wan went under easily, even as he tried to hold on to the sensation of Qui-Gon’s hand tracing patterns on his skin.

When he woke he was already moaning, his soft sleep pants shifted down his hips just enough to bare his ass for his alpha who was rubbing his cock between his cheek, running through the slick there, his breath hot on the back of Obi-Wan’s neck.

“Alpha,” Obi-Wan whimpered, it was the middle of the night but he didn’t care, the weight of his need now fully on him, unable to think about anything else. 

“I’m here,” Qui-Gon purred. “I’ve been waiting for you. You’re so lovely when you sleep, so soft even while your body gets hot with your heat. Making cute noises as your hole got wetter and sloppier, and your little cock got harder, always cuddled so close to me, right where you belong.”

“Yes, alpha, please,” Obi-Wan moaned, reaching back for Qui-Gon and crying out as he was manhandled onto his knees, face buried in the nest, hands clawing at whatever they could reach as his alpha got on his knees behind him. 

“Mmm, you taste so sweet,” Qui-Gon’s voice was so low it tingle up his nerves, and Obi-Wan whimpered as Qui-gon kissed his hole, licked at his dripping slick and then traced a path up his spine with his tongue, ending with a bit to his shoulder, and a kiss to where Obi-Wan wanted him to bite. “So perfect like this, ready and begging to be mounted, to take your alpha’s cock. You’re going to look so pretty hanging from my knot, aren’t you little one?”

“Alpha,” Obi-Wan cried, feeling a sniffle beginning to form in the back of his throat, he was so desperate and Qui-Gon was teasing him, saying filthy things while the head of his thick cock only teased at his slick hole. 

“Oh my love, don’t worry. I am going to take such good care of you, no other alpha is ever going to be enough, are they?” Qui-Gon growled, letting the head of his cock kiss against Obi-Wan’s hole, but still not pushing inside. 

“Just you,” Obi-Wan promised, lip wobbling as the coherent part of him hoped his master couldn’t feel the total truth of those words, beyond the haze of heat. 

“So good,” Qui-Gon praised, and then Obi-Wan felt him straighten, holding Obi-Wan’s hips in a tight grip, and his eyes rolled back in his head as his alpha finally mounted him, his fat cock stretching him wide even though he was in heat, even though he was sloppy and dripping wet. 

For all the Obi-Wan was more coherent this time, Qui-Gon fucked him so well and so thorough and so often that he was too boneless and sated to keep hold of anything, much less the passage of time. Reduced to sensation as he presented and was praised, as Qui-Gon scented him and knotted him, stuffing him full of load after load of his come, until his belly was bulging with it, and that drove them both wild as Qui-Gon started growling in a low voice, promising to stuff Obi-Wan full of pups so much that the patch on his shoulder itched with how much he wished it wasn’t there in the heat of the moment. 

Obi-Wan begged and Qui-Gon’s teeth laid their claim all over his body, everywhere but the scent gland on his neck, and he cradled Obi-Wan and drove him to another orgasm as he asked for the bite and cried when his master was - thankfully - coherent enough to deny him. 

“Not like this,” Qui-Gon soothed, Obi-Wan impaled on his cock and snug in his lap, cuddled close by those arms and unable to escape in his embarrassment, but also unable for his shame to sour his heat, as Qui-Gon doted on him so fully he never even felt the sting of rejection amid everything else he was feeling, the knot still milking his prostate and filling him with Qui-Gon’s seed, the hand on his cock turning his tears to ones of overstimulation as he came again, his cock and hole straining and tensing as he came.  

He passed out more than once as Qui-Gon fucked him relentlessly through his heat, waking up each time with Qui-Gon’s cock already back in his hole - if it had ever left - looking after him so thoroughly, hand feeding him food while they waited for his knot to go down. THey stole snatches of sleep together as well, sometimes Obi-Wan woke first, crippled by another wave of primal need, and he would climb whimpering on top of his master and sit on his cock, Qui-Gon growling out praise as he woke to Obi-Wan already bouncing up and down frantically, strong hands layering new bruises on his hips as Qui-Gon guided him into a smoother rhythm. 

When he woke up on the fifth day, feeling the heat truly starting to seep from his bones he was exhausted and still slick. The final hours of his heat settling into a more languid, if still insistent, desire. He was on his back, Qui-Gon settled between his legs, checking over his hole and making Obi-Wan blush, but still too aroused to stop himself pressing lewdly into the touch. 

Obi-Wan knew they shouldn’t, the heat was mostly passed, he would be fine to ignore his desire now, but Qui-Gon was touching him, and his cock was hard again even as his rut also began to wane. But still he wrapped his legs around Qui-Gon’s waist and urged him inside, taking him one more time, whimpering around his huge cock as Qui-Gon fucked him more gently, cradling Obi-Wan close as he fucked him deep and slow.  

He came first, getting wetter and tighter around Qui-Gon’s cock, and he whimpered in surprise and want when Qui-Gon’s knot swelled again, he should have been too exhausted from so many in the last few days, his rut almost over. It made Obi-Wan feel warm, making quite little purrs to answer the deep rumbling coming from Qui-Gon’s check as he was caught on his knot, filled with come one last time. He made a small sound and tightened around Qui-Gon’s knot when one soft kiss was pressed against his lips before Qui-Gon held him close and petted his stomach until his knot went down again. 

They lay tangled together, drifting in and out of consciousness for a long time, neither one of them willing to move, Obi-Wan dreading the moment being broken, even as his other bodily needs began to make themselves known, the state of the sheets and blankets in the nest beginning to sink in. When Obi-Wan’s stomach rumbled loudly, making Qui-Gon laugh and kiss his shoulder, and Obi-Wan blush, he finally pulled his softened cock from Obi-Wan’s ruined hole, checking him one more time before kissing his forehead and pulling away. 

Qui-Gon disappeared from the room in search of some food for them both and as Obi-Wan started to change the thoroughly ruined sheets, something caught his eye, a crumpled square of beige by one of the pillows. He reached out and his eyes went wide, recognising his birth control patch, he slapped a hand onto the back of his shoulder to confirm that it had come off and Obi-Wan’s pulse skyrocketed. 

He remembered how sweaty he had been, absolutely slick all over, and his master had been fucking him so hard, shoving him up and down the bed so vigorously the patch must have come off. Obi-Wan felt panic trying to rise in his chest but he controlled it, released it to the force with a deep breath. 

He didn’t know when the patch had come loose, it was just as possible it had only come free of his skin after they were done and Obi-Wan had nothing to worry about - not that that thought stopped the thundering of his heart. 

He threw the patch in the bin and prayed to the force that his master wouldn’t notice the absence of it on his shoulder, there was no need to worry him just yet. There was no need to worry himself just yet either. He was fine. He was sure of it. 

 

---------

 

“Well Obi-Wan, it looks like that one did the trick,” Nav said the next day, smiling up from a data pad. Qui-Gon was in the healers with him, and Obi-Wan could have sworn that for a moment his master’s force signature felt almost disappointed, before deciding that was only his own desperate wishful thinking. 

“Everything is back to normal?” Qui-Gon asked when Obi-Wan said nothing, shaking himself for getting lost in thought. 

“Yes, Obi-Wan’s hormones and biochemistry is back where it should be, you’re free to go back on suppressants if you want, Obi-Wan. Although you’re also welcome to stay off of them if you like, your cycle will even out and you’ll be able to go back onto active duty.”

“Uh, suppressants, please,” Obi-Wan said, thinking about having a heat alone in his solitary ship was extremely unpleasant, no matter how many times he was assured that regular heats were not nearly as intensive. 

“No problem,” Nav said, tapping away at her pad while his master’s hand dropped away from the small of his back. He missed it immediately, which probably only meant that it was a good thing his master had ended the contact. 

Nav was tapping away and Obi-Wan couldn’t help himself. No matter how many times he put it out of his mind or released his anxiety to the force, the question kept rearing its head again, dogging his thoughts and not leaving him alone. 

“And there was nothing else, um, unexpected on my tests?” Obi-Wan asked, it was pointless, it had barely been forty eight hours there wouldn’t be anything to find. 

“Nope, you’re back in tip top shape,” Nav replied, it didn’t help to settle Obi-Wan’s anxiety at all. He should have said something, he should have told her how the patch had come loose and fallen off and he wasn’t sure when, Qui-Gon should know, and Nav might be able to help him, but he stayed silent. “I know your teaching roster continues for another few months in case you’d needed the third cycle, but I can have you put back on active duty sooner if you’re itching to get going again?”

“No, it’s fine,” Obi-Wan said, and he knew that time that it wasn’t only wishful thinking that had him feeling his master’s relief at his words. “I don’t mind finishing up the classes.” Besides, spending more time with the initiates he might find a potential apprentice, his master was right, it was long past time that he had a padawan. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that he knew Qui-Gon was also going to be stationed at the temple for a little while longer. 

It definitely was not because of the anxiety nipping at his heels, and how he still felt raw from his heats, and didn’t want to be sent back into deep space alone just yet.

She gave him another round of suppressants, the familiar small blue pills rattling around in the bottle as she handed them over, and Obi-Wan slipped them into his pocket. Qui-Gon asked a couple of questions, about when he could expect his rut cycle to return to normal, if there was anything they needed to watch out for with Obi-Wan - they, it was almost enough to give Obi-Wan another silly frisson of hope - before they were leaving the Healer’s wing once again. 

Qui-Gon moved his clothes and bedding back to his own rooms, and Obi-Wan worked hard to make sure that his disappointment didn’t show on his face. It’s not as if he had expected Qui-Gon to stay with him, but it was still hard to watch him go, his rooms felt emptier than they ever had to him before. He was glad he wasn’t immediately going back out into space on his own, he wasn’t entirely sure he would be able to bear it, to go from being so surrounded and feeling so loved, to so entirely alone once again. 

His master missed one of his shirts, and Obi-Wan burrowed it away under one of his pillows before Qui-gon could possibly find it again. A memento that he should know better than to keep, something that he had no doubt would help him sleep a little easier. 

“Would you like to have dinner tomorrow?” Qui-Gon asked, unexpectedly, Obi-Wan had rather thought his master would be sick of his company by now, and he brightened instantly from the invitation. 

“Yes, that would be nice, a break from the children.”

“I rather like them, and I think you do too,” Qui-Gon replied, eyes crinkled with his smile, and Obi-Wan swallowed thickly, reminded of his anxiety, as so many things were doing. 

“Yes, I do. But it is still nice to speak to an adult,” Obi-Wan said, and Qui-Gon agreed with him with a laugh. Obi-Wan thought about what his master had suggested, that they could ask to be paired back up for some missions, so that neither of them had to ensure the coldness of space alone, Obi-Wan who was too used to it, and Qui-Gon the opposite. 

He also thought of Khi Diakiin, how close she was to aging out, how much she deserved a master, and how much of a better choice she would be as a partner in crime than someone who Obi-Wan knew would never feel the same way about him. Travelling with Qui-Gon again would be torture, but it was still everything he wanted, but he couldn’t let Khi Diakiin go abandoned. Perhaps he would speak to Quinlan, or Kit, or Bant or any knight or master he could find that didn’t have a padawan and petition them to give her a chance, in the blind hope they wouldn’t challenge him on why he wasn’t doing it himself. 

Obi-Wan felt lighter with the promise of lunch with Qui-Gon the next day, but the heaviness returned to his gut the next evening, looking in his ‘fresher mirror and staring down at the suppressants in his hand. He hadn’t asked Nav what suppressants could do to a baby, but now that they were in his hand, he was sure they couldn’t be good. 

He wasn’t pregnant, he would know, he was sure, he didn’t need to tell the healer, to ask her questions and potentially end up causing an endless amount of grief for his master. But still, Obi-Wan returned the pills to the bottle and returned it to the shelf. 

He could start his suppressants again whenever he wanted, there was no harm in waiting a little while, just to be sure. 

 

---------

 

As the weeks rolled on, Obi-Wan fell into a new routine, so comfortable and filled with people that he genuinely did forget about the worry that had niggled his gut after his heat had finished. He would know by now if anything was amiss, and his new routine was extremely happy, for lack of a better word. 

He saw Qui-Gon nearly every day, always for dinner and sometimes for lunch as well, and at those lunches, Anakin had a habit of joining them. When Bant returned to the temple for a brief respite between missions, Obi-Wan was able to see her, and he already had an afternoon penciled in to share with Quinlan when he finally completed the long mission he was on. Bant had even agreed to take a look at Khi, feeling ready for a new apprentice. 

When they had no classes, he and Qui-Gon ventured into the city proper, often dropping by on Dex who always had a table for Obi-Wan, no matter how busy his diner was, and making a point to find whatever greenery was managing to survive on the metal world. 

When he did have a full day of classes, Obi-Wan always felt rejuvenated by them, the initiates and younglings so full of energy and optimism that it was difficult not to be buoyed by it himself, and he noticed a lightning in Qui-Gon’s moods as well as the weeks continued on. 

Anakin passed his trials as he had always been destined to do, and the three of them celebrated with a dinner out in the city, even if jedi weren’t strictly supposed to celebrate. The new knight was itching to get out on his own - so much so that they shared more than one laugh at Anakin’s impatience, always making Yoda’s ears twitch - and they both saw him off in the hangar when he got his first mission, just a few days later. 

They had fewer dinners in the dining hall as time continued on, instead retreating with take away boxes back to Qui-Gon’s rooms and enjoying more informal dinners together, and sometimes when it got late and they were tired, Obi-Wan slept in his old room, or on the couch, and sometimes, Qui-Gon slept there too, and Obi-Wan would get to wake up wrapped in his master’s scent, so thick that he could smell it even through the blockers they had both returned to wearing. 

Obi-Wan was giddy with excitement when Qui-Gon announced to him that the council had accepted their request to be paired together for missions for the foreseeable future. It seemed that they hoped Obi-Wan would temper Qui-Gon’s more blasé attitude towards the code, not that he had ever been successful in doing that before.

He was in love with Qui-Gon Jinn, and he understood the limitations of his master’s feelings towards him in return - filled with love, but of a different sort - and for a little while, it felt as though Obi-Wan could be completely happy anyway. But then, not two days before they were due to finish their teaching and embark on their first mission together in eleven years, Obi-Wan woke up feeling extremely nauseated. 

At first he thought it was maybe the new recipe of Dex’s they’d tried the night before, but as he hauled himself up from the toilet and opened the cabinet to look for his toothbrush, the unopened bottle of suppressants bored down at him, and he knew with perfect clarity that it wasn’t the food.