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Thor gazes longingly at the newborn in Loki’s arms.
Their first child is a girl, small and pink and wonderful, and Loki always sleeps with the child snuggled and swaddled carefully against him. His limbs curl comfortably around the infant, protectively and wholly, in a true display of defense. Loki does not move in his sleep at all whatsoever, so the child is safe being so close to him this way.
But even when Loki is awake, Thor still finds that Loki is terribly unwilling to part with her, no matter the distance. It has been a week and a few days since Loki gave birth, and Loki has not allowed anyone but himself to hold the baby.
He birthed her in secret on his own, cleaned her himself, and only came out of hiding when it became clear that Thor was ready to rend realms into pieces to locate him. When Thor had found out Loki'd gone through labor without him, he’d been upset at first, confused and hurt beyond measure. Loki had needed to assure him there would be many more opportunities to see him scream in the throes of child labor, but Thor could not tuck away his hurt immediately. Still, Loki’s fierce over-protection had a keen way of conveying every insecurity and fear, so much so that Thor could not exactly blame him. It wasn't as if their years together had automatically healed every one of Loki's many trust issues. Good and bad things were both still a part of their past, and Loki did not let go of pain so easily even in the face of a brighter future.
Thor had to think again of their announcement of Loki's pregnancy (or rather, the moment when Loki could not hide it any longer and his voluminous clothing could not conceal his swollen middle no matter how glaringly elusive his daily routine had become). The public reacted exactly how Loki had suspected. Half of them were wary/afraid, half did not know what to think. Magic users of Loki's caliber tended to breed frightful things every now and then, and everyone knew it, reacting in turn. No one wanted such foreign and untameable creatures as Loki himself or any offspring he might spawn. It was just like when he'd married Thor, and just like when he'd revealed himself to be of Jotun blood. The same reactions of tireless caution.
Naturally, Loki was reluctant to face any type of negative response to his child in the slightest. Once Thor had reviewed these things in his mind, his upset over the secret birth had melted away, and he spent endless minutes holding Loki and covering him in countless affectionate kisses until Loki complained irritably, eager to get back to their sleeping infant in the tiny crib across the room. Together, they named her Eira. But Loki still would not let anyone within 10 feet of the child, and Thor could come closer, but he had not held her.
Thor has given it time now, and could not fully fault Loki for his instinctive paranoia up until now, but as a brand new father the impulse to properly meet his new daughter is too strong to resist. After about ten minutes of lying beside Loki and admiring the soft green silk of Loki’s loungewear and the deep, jewel-toned purple of their baby’s swathing blanket, Thor cannot help himself. He hopes he will not wake Loki as he reaches for the newborn; Loki needs so much more rest than he thinks he does. He has barely fallen asleep for more than a couple of hours a day, still showing fatigue from the birth process and undoubtedly constant seidr use to protect and ward the child. For all Thor knows, Loki has been performing magics to hide his and the baby's view from far wider numbers than necessary.
The baby still slumbers, and no doubt she is at ease so close to the familiar sound of Loki’s heartbeat. Thor reaches out and gently lifts her, hoping she will know his as well.
“You know my heart and my voice…for I have held on to Loki for so long in appreciation, and anticipation, and in gratitude for you.” Thor whispers as he brings his baby girl to his chest. It starts to bring tears to his eyes, knowing that this tiny being is made of himself and Loki together. Suddenly the child wakes with a small cooing sound, extending her tiny arms in a stretch and a baby yawn, and just like that Loki’s eyes open. He bolts upright, arms frantically reaching for the child and Thor quickly shushes him.
Thor also finds himself in utter awe of Loki's hyper-awareness; It's an impressive display. He feels the familiar tingle of Loki's seidr radiating from Loki's body--it means that Loki is already on the offensive upon awakening, seeking out sources of strangers or harm whether Loki were fully conscious or not. Thor realizes that in merely touching the babe, he'd disturbed an entire web of seidr triggers that Loki has woven within himself. He finds himself stunned and impressed--there is no better parent for their child than Loki.
“It is alright!! It’s alright. She is fine, Loki. I’ve got her.”
When Loki’s eyes finally focus and take note of Thor and the child, his expression is an amusing mix of distress and relief.
“Don’t--do not let anyone touch her...” Loki groggily mumbles through partial sleep, and Thor watches Loki’s limbs shake in restraining from taking the child. Thor cradles the little one securely in one arm, and with his other he reaches to Loki, making Loki focus, forcing him to relax.
“It is not I you are afraid of…it is everyone else in relation to her, I know this. But she is safe here. All of our children shall be safe here. Our citizens will grow accustomed to this life of ours. They will get used to it or I will make them.” Thor’s words are like a balm, calming the heat of Loki’s frantic nerves. Their child babbles with small sweet sounds, her hands touching the stubble on Thor’s face while Thor grins, keeping his one hand cradling Loki’s face in reassurance.
By the time Loki has both calmed down and awakened fully, he cannot not tear his eyes away from the sight of Thor holding their daughter. All that strength and kindness and care within Thor’s hold—it's plain to see that their child would never come to harm with Thor there to shield her. The fog of new motherhood is hard for Loki to shake off, yet he truly realizes his level of paranoia by now. It's time to shake the mindset and find a place of relative ease.
"I apologize for excluding you from her birth. And...for waiting so long to let you hold her...I was planning to let you, today, I swear it." Loki sighs, straightening his back as he sits up properly in bed, folding his legs beneath himself. "Now that I think of it...perhaps the irrationality was instinctual rather than fear-based." Loki finishes with a nervous chuckle. He doesn't want to acknowledge Jotun instinct, but it is part of him all the same.
Thor cannot argue the possibility of that. He knew little about the habits of child-bearing Jotnar, but Loki had done many truly strange things during his final weeks of carrying. Nesting, freezing their bedroom in increments, increased magic use one week and decreased capability the next, bottomless appetite for weeks at a time followed by zero appetite for days...
"I understand. And of course you are forgiven." Thor answers quietly, still enraptured by the baby's features. Thor looks up when Loki scoots closer, and Loki kisses him then, long and deep. The kiss is truly sincere, warm and somewhat needy. Then it is suddenly very needy, complete with a soft moan. It's obvious that he misses Thor's closeness and intimacy. Pregnancy had had him afraid and cautious, and he hadn't indulged in the natural freedom to enjoy Thor's physical care for months, much to his detriment.
"Allow me to coax her back to sleep. And then...I feel I have physically neglected you, my Husband. I can rectify that." Loki promises. Even as Loki takes baby Eira back into his arms, Thor already feels himself shiver at those words.
He hopes the realms will very swiftly get used to the idea of Loki bearing children, because he is certain that he is bound to give Loki many, many more.