Chapter Text
“Idiot.”
There Sirius was, trying to comfort his younger brother, to make Regulus aware he was wanted and cared for, only for that bad habit of his brother ’s to kick in, that thought process everyone around Regulus found hard to follow, while on the other side getting through to Regulus was also a process in itself.
“You bloody idiot.”
Sirius felt Regulus stiffen even more. “Siri?”
“What?” Sirius let out a sigh, wishing there was some way of getting through to the young wizard, and at that moment, he let go and stopped hugging his younger brother, a thought of how Regulus never returned such affections as James did, crossing his mind.
“Are you crying?”
Sirius blinked. “No.”
Regulus frowned. “You are. Why?”
“Bloody,” Sirius snorted, his arm reaching up to wipe the tears away, only to freeze as Regulus did the same. “What the…”
Regulus froze his arm not far from Sirius ’ face as Sirius held onto his wrist. His brother said nothing, just remained there frozen.
“You’re doing that but can’t return a hug?” Sirius said, perplexed.
He felt Regulus yank his hand away, then completely pull away into a corner of the bed, his knees pulled to his chest as he lowered his forehead to his arms.
“Reg?”
“I should go,” Regulus said, lifting his head.
“You’re not leaving,” Sirius said firmly.
“Why, when I’m always messing up,” Regulus said, holding onto his wrist as if it hurt, creating panic in the back of Sirius’ head.
“Going forward, please understand that patience is what works best with Regulus.”
Remembering that what Lily said made him not blurt out the first thing that came to mind, that he bloody cared what happened to Regulus, and instead, he thought it over, only to find himself reaching out to stop Regulus as his brother started to move. “I said you’re not leaving.”
Regulus turned his head as Sirius held onto his arm gently. “You’ve not given a reason why I should.”
“Because I’m trying to think of what to say,” Sirius said.
Regulus ’ facial features twisted in anger. “Oh. Great. You don’t actually…”
“I’ve plenty of reasons!” Sirius said. “But what can I say that will get through that thick skull of yours?” He then let out a deep sigh and moved close again, leaving Regulus pressed between him and the wall, making escape less easy. He leaned in his head to rest his forehead against Regulus’ as his eyes closed. “Please stop scaring me like this.”
“But you’re a Gryffindor.”
“Bloody! Regulus!” And there he was, hugging Regulus, making it so his younger brother couldn’t easily escape. Regulus was tense, acting like he wanted to bolt even though Sirius managed to cut off as many escape routes as possible by squishing him against the wall with his own body. “How do I get through to you, kiddo?”
“Okay. Why do you not want me to leave?”
“Because if you leave, I’m scared. The next thing I hear is that you’re dead.”
“Question.”
“What?” Sirius let out an exasperated sound. “What is it?”
“Doesn’t that imply you care?”
Sirius let out a breath of relief and then plied his brother ’s forehead with a kiss, which resulted in Regulus’ arms reaching out and his legs moving in protest.
“Gross! Sirius, why do you…”
Then he hugged tighter, and Sirius did not want to let go as he rested his chin on Regulus ’ head, not caring that his brother was tensed, obviously not liking being touched. “Yes. That does imply I care, you idiot.”
“But,” Regulus’ voice quaked. “You always say you don’t.”
“That’s because I’m an arse when I’m angry and say things I don’t actually mean,” Sirius said. “So you shouldn’t take anything I say in anger seriously.”
“So then.” He felt Regulus’ thin frame relax and heard Regulus let out a sound of relief. “Does this mean you don’t hate Papa and maman? Does this mean you’ll come home?”
“What?” Sirius stiffened, then pulled away. He reached a calloused handout and tilted Regulus’ face so he now looked at him. “What are you talking about?”
“You said all of that in anger.”
“Regulus.”
“Plus, I’m a poor replacement.”
“What are you talking about?”
Regulus gave him a funny look. “I’m not who they want as heir. Surely you know that.”
“What,” Sirius took a deep breath, rolling his eyes, pulling Regulus into him. “Come on. They never stopped talking about how perfect you were when I still lived under that roof.” He watched Regulus’ face. “Hey. Why are you frowning?”
“That’s not true.”
“Come on. They were always reminding me how much better you were than me.”
Regulus shook his head. “At least they voiced their worries about your behavior and grades to your face.”
“What are you talking about,” Sirius said, continuing to hug Regulus with one hand and with the other motioning across the room. “The future’s yours. You could do anything you want, with your grades, your behavior, and now your heir? You’re everything they ever wanted.”
“So you think leaving helped everyone out?” Regulus asked, his tone becoming dark.
“Hey. Don’t pretend I left for unselfish means,” Sirius snorted. “I couldn’t stand that family.” He reached out and pinched his brother’s cheek. “But you. You kept talking last night about dying as if it didn’t matter as if you didn’t have some kind of amazing future ahead of you.”
Regulus reached up, pulling Sirius ’ hand away. “What future? You act like the family has always had some great plan for me.”
“The family,” Sirius frowned. “I’m not talking about the family, but you.” He motioned across the room. “As I said, any future dream of yours is going to come true, but I suspect you’ll do great things whatever it is.” Sirius frowned, realizing something. “Actually…”
“You’re an idiot.”
“What?”
“Get out,” Regulus muttered.
“Hey.”
“Leave me alone.”’
“Regulus!” Sirius remained firm, not letting go even though Regulus started pushing.
“I promise I won’t leave! Just leave me alone, you bastard!”
“I wish,” Sirius muttered regarding the last phrase, yet knowing Regulus was one to keep promises, almost as if he were a House Elf instead of a wizard. He stood up, watching Regulus curl in upon himself.
“…patience is what works best…”
Sirius took a deep breath. “I wish you’d open up to me, kiddo, but I also get it. I’ve not earned your trust; I’ve done everything to do the opposite over the years. But please. I really do care what happens to you.”
Sirius stepped out of the room, taking a deep breath and calmly closing the door behind him.