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It wasn’t supposed to end like this. It wasn’t supposed to end this abruptly. Without any time for any closure.
Denki wasn’t supposed to be fucking dead.
Denki was supposed to be walking into their shared apartment with the help of Sero or Kirishima or any of the other idiots. He was supposed to be banged up, but okay. Banged up but smiling. He was supposed to be where Katsuki could reach him and tell him all he felt about him.
His world crashed that day.
Denki was often called in for last minute short missions. The dumbass just couldn’t say no, and he always told Katsuki that he preferred it that way.
”But baaaaby- I would rather be gone for one day on short notice than for a whole month, even with a warning!”
Katsuki wished he did the same.
Wished he spent more time with Denki. Wished he got more time to feel him. Their morning hazes, giggles in the showers, messy kitchens with even messier hands; he needed more of that. He didn’t want to say goodbye to that. Couldn’t say goodbye to that.
When he heard his phone ring, he thought he was assuming the worst. Thought that the worst that could happen was being told that Denki was injured. That he would need to stay at the hospital (Katsuki hated that the last thing he thought of when he answered was that Denki hated being cooped up).
The news broke, and he dropped his phone. He didn’t even bother to flinch at the sound of the thud on the plush, bright rug that Denki insisted on getting.
”Please, baby? It’s so soft! And it’ll look good with the couch.”
(It did not look good with the couch, but the choice was so unbelievably Denki that he gave in. He hated how soft he grew with the other, but the smile Denki gave him made up for that.)
He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. Kaminari fucking Denki was dead. He was trapped under the rubble, and they couldn’t get to him in time. He died of blood loss, alone in the dark with nobody there to comfort him.
Katsuki was twenty-seven, and utterly alone.
The days passed by in a blur. He couldn’t bear being in the same place where Denki lived. Where he still seemed to live. Couldn’t look at the pictures and prints on the walls or the stray clothes scattered around before breaking down. Kirishima and Ochako let him stay over. It was painful how careful they were with him. He knew they were grieving as well. The whole country was. Denki was impossible not to love. His public presence was nothing but positive, and his never fading smile lit up the world a little bit. Katsuki knew he wasn’t the only one mourning, but everyone treated him like he was.
Mina was over a lot, making sure he was eating and showering and drinking water. She was the unfortunate victim to many outbursts, but she was always patient. Always gave that sad smile that Katsuki hated so much and waited it out.
Sero was also over a lot, but he wasn’t there to make sure he was taking care of himself. All he did was talk. He didn’t talk about Denki unless Katsuki brought him up himself, but Katsuki never responded, so he was basically better off talking to a wall.
Two weeks had passed, and Katsuki was called to the hospital to get Denki’s things. Sero and Kirishima came with him.
As soon as he spotted Denki’s things, dirty, bloodied, and ruined, he broke down crying. Sero lead him out while Kirishima took his things.
Another two weeks passed, and Katsuki was forced by Mina to go back to his their apartment. To look back at the good memories.
Everything was covered in a thin layer of dust and disuse. It was exactly the way he left it. Pictures were everywhere on the coffee table, since Katsuki was helping Denki pick out photos to put in a scrap book the night before he went off for his mission. The night before everything went to hell.
Mina picked up a picture of them in their last year of U.A, Denki laughing as he climbed up a tree while Katsuki was yelling at him to come down. She smiled, wiping her eyes before putting it down and looking at Katsuki.
He was at the door of their bedroom, silently crying as he looked at the bed they used to share.
The bed still wasn’t made, and Denki’s sleep shirt was on the floor next to Katsuki’s side of the bed. The room smelled stale and dusty, but if he focused he could smell Denki. Could smell the rain on the pavement with a tang of metal. If he focused he could still hear his tired, raspy sleep voice as he begged Katsuki to stay in bed a little longer with him.
”Please? C’mon, Kats, I’ll love you forever.”
”You already do, dumbass. Let go of me so I can make coffee.”
A pout graced his face, but he couldn’t help when it turned into a smile. He kissed Katsuki’s nose, finally letting go of the death grip he had around his waist.
”Thanks, baby.”
Katsuki pressed a kiss to his temple before getting up and throwing on a shirt. He was whipped.
Mina put a hand on his shoulder, looking around their room. When she looked back at Katsuki, he was crying.
Denki smiled sitting on the edge of the bed. He pulled Katsuki to him by his belt loops, slotting Katsuki between his thighs. Katsuki snorted, threading his rough hands through Denki’s curls, carefully separating the tangles gained through the day.
”What is it this time, Dork?”
Denki pouted, resting his chin on his stomach as he looked up at him. He looked down for a second to kiss the bare skin above his belly button, before looking back up.
”I love you.”
Denki laughed as he was shoved back on the bed, Katsuki climbing over him and putting their foreheads together. Denki smiled, looping his arms around his neck and studying each slope and edge of Katsuki’s face.
”You’re so pretty,” Denki breathed out, laughing when Katsuki’s red, red eyes immediately flicked up to meet Denki’s pale gold ones. He paused to study the thin lightning pattens in them, before gathering his words.
”Can I kiss you?”
Denki smiled, and Katsuki knew he would do anything to see that particular, love stricken smile every day of his life.
”Thought you’d never ask, hot stuff.”
Mina sighed, pulling Katsuki in for a hug. Katsuki didn’t fight back. He couldn’t. A strangled, painful sob tore through him, and he was clutching at Mina’s shirt, tears wetting the thin fabric.
He missed kissing his freckles. Kissing his lips. Missed the way he smiled at Katsuki. How he laughed and their little bickering fights. He missed everything about him. He missed Denki.
“I miss him,” Katsuki choked out. She ran her hand through his hair, but it wasn’t how Denki used to do it. Nothing could ever compare to him.
“I know, honey. He loved you. He still does. He used to call me late at night while you were asleep, rambling about how we wanted to be with you forever. And he was with you forever. You were with him until the very end.”
Katsuki shook his head, trembling in her arms. He felt so little. So small and vulnerable.
“He died alone-“
“Don’t go blaming yourself for this. I’m betting my life that the last thing he thought about was you. You were always on his mind. You always will be.”
Mina led him back to the living room, figuring staying in the bedroom would only make him feel worse. She sat him down, going to make some tea. She set some water to boil, sitting down next to Katsuki as she waited.
“He was always so bright,” Katsuki started, and Mina had to force down a surprised face. She took his hand, silently encouraging him to continue. “I couldn’t look at him straight on without staring like a lovesick idiot for most of third year.”
Mina laughed, nodding. “I remember that. You two were so bad at pining. It was hilarious.”
Katsuki paused, studying the small details in the fabric of his sweatpants. He cleared his throat, nose awfully stuffy.
“He used to do this thing when he was bored and I was relaxing. He’d climb on me and kiss me all over. Tell me how pretty I was. He’d always end with my lips. It was never the mouth first. Then-“ He had to pause, looking away as tears blocked his vision. Mina rubbed his back, waiting patiently. “Then he would tell me he loved me more than the world itself. Wouldn’t stop until I said it back or called him one of those stupid fucking petnames that he was in love with. Then he’d either go find something to do or lay his head on my stomach and take a nap and drool all over me. He would ask if it was annoying when I woke him up, but I could never be mad at him.”
Mina nodded, squeezing his hand.
“He did love you more than the world itself. He would’ve gave you the world if you asked. And I know you feel the same.”
Katsuki could only blankly nod, tears spotting his vision again.
Mina kissed his hair, getting up to check on the water and make the tea.
Denki laughed, stumbling as he was pulled along. He pulled up the scarf resting around his shoulders, falling into step with Katsuki.
”What’s got you all in a worry, my love?” Denki asked, kissing his clothed shoulder. He looked up at Katsuki with nothing but pure adoration, a smile tugging at his lips that were chapped from the bite of winter.
Usually, Katsuki would tell him to knock it off. That they couldn’t be affectionate in public because of who they were. But they were alone. Alone and walking along a trail to god knows where.
”Shut up and be patient, dumbass.”
Denki pouted, pressing himself against Katsuki’s side. He huffed, breath puffing out into a cloud. Katsuki relished the giggle that it drew from him.
”If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re leading me to my death.” He snorted, trying to hold in a laugh. “That’d be pretty funny, huh.”
Katsuki sighed, looking down at Denki as he paused his steps. He was met with immediate eye contact, and an even brighter smile than before.
”You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look-“
”Look around you, dumbass.”
Denki furrowed his brows the slightest bit, and Katsuki wanted to kiss that little crease away. Denki lifted his head up, finally taking in the surrounding scenery. It was beautiful, he knew that for sure. The snow was bright against the setting sun, and the golden light filtered in through the branches of the forest they were in. But it wasn’t anything too special.
”Kats? Why did you-“
He turned around, only to find Katsuki on one knee, fumbling with opening a black velvet box. So much flashed through Denki’s eyes at once.
”Katsuki-“
”Let me speak.”
Katsuki wanted to punch himself. His voice was so soft. So full of love and adoration and anxiety. This tone was reserved for Denki and Denki only.
”I’m not good with words and all that shit- But I love you. More than you could even fucking fathom. And I want to- Oh fuck- please don’t cry. I never know what to do when you cry because of me.”
Denki shook his head, sniffling. His hands were clasped over his mouth, and his eyes were shedding tears so freely it was as if a dam broke loose.
”Ask the question.”
Katsuki sputtered.
”What?”
”Ask the question.”
Katsuki swallowed, nodding.
”Kaminari Denki,” A beat. “Will you marry me?”
Before Katsuki could register what was happening, he was tackled to the ground, face being peppered with kisses.
”Yes yes yes yes yes- Holy fuck yes. God-“ Denki held Katsuki’s face in his hands so tenderly, Katsuki wanted to melt right there despite the cold of the snow under him. “I want to marry you.”
Katsuki could barely register what was happening, but he fumbled with the ring, putting it on Denki’s finger. Denki broke out in a grin, and Katsuki sat up, hugging Denki criminally tight. Denki hugged back, crying against his shoulder.
”We’re gonna get married,” Katsuki breathed out, tears building up. He bit down on his lip, holding Denki even closer. Denki’s laugh was watery and giddy, as if he was the happiest person on Earth. He felt like he was.
”We’re gonna get married,” Denki echoed, but his tone was wistful and happy. That was the tone Katsuki wanted to hear for the rest of his life.
Denki pulled back, and Katsuki held his cheeks in his hands. Denki was smiling like an idiot, tears still running freely.
”So Bakugou Denki, or Kaminari Katsuki? Maybe hyphenated would be cool-“
Katsuki cut off Denki’s ramble with a snort, pressing their foreheads together. Denki melted into the touch, giggling like a schoolgirl.
”I like Kaminari Katsuki,” Katsuki whispered after a second, earning another giggle.
Katsuki lost a piece of him the day when Kaminari died.