Work Text:
Song:Return to Pooh Corner By: Kenny Loggins
~@~
Winnie the pooh started it. When I look back now I'm positive of that one fact.
There is absolutely no reason for the way things turned out…no reason at all. Somehow, I fell even more in love with Mulder when that yellow bear made its first appearance. Of that I have no doubt, even if he did nearly scare me half to death.
I was laying our child down for his nap when the bear peeked around the corner. I nearly screamed at the big 5-foot bear at first. I mean think about it…how often do you turn around and see a BIG yellow bear in the doorway to a bedroom. It didn't help the fact that the bear looked like it was standing on its own.
It was only after Mulder poked his head around the corner that I allowed my heart to slow down. He was showing that goofy grin he's been sporting since our son was born.
The smile left his face once he got a good look at my own.
"Scully?"
Damn his voice is loud! I rushed towards him. I knew that you were supposed to have normal noise around a baby as it grew. They wouldn't wake up at every little thing that way. I think it was just that the first week I wanted it to be quiet when he was sleeping. Now, four months later I knew it was already too late to change it.
"Mulder…" My voice came out a hushed whisper. "Please, let's get out of the room before you wake up the mini king."
He grinned at me as I ushered him towards the living room. That half smile that he just knew I found completely seductive. It irritated me even more. The big yellow bear swung somewhat between us as Mulder tried not to drop it.
"What's so goddamn funny?"
"Nothing Scully. You just look a little tired."
I shuffled my feet towards the kitchen to make some coffee, my irritation apparent. "Mulder, I am tired. I've woken up with your son for the past week because of your ideal body having the ability to sleep through anything. He could be screaming his head off in there and you would sleep right through it!"
He was right behind me when I walked into the kitchen, but as I spoke he dropped his body heavily into one of the dining room chairs. I heard the creak of the chair and his dejected sigh as he sat down.
"Are you saying I'm a bad father Scully?" His voice was so weak I could barely hear it. But from the tone I knew he had taken what I said completely wrong.
I walked to him and placed my hands on his cheeks, tilting his head up towards my face in the process. "No Mulder. You're not a bad father. You are an incredible father. From the moment you returned, you've been nothing but attentive. Billy is lucky to have you." His eyes avoided mine and I knew what I was saying wasn't getting through to him.
William was only about a week old when we had affectionately started calling him Billy. I'm not sure if Mulder had even noticed the irony in the name being so like my brother that hated him. If he did he never mentioned it. I think he loved Billy too much to even acknowledge the fact.
"Mulder listen…" I started to kneel down in front of him when a better idea came to mind. Before he knew what was happening I had settled comfortably into his lap and was face to face with him. I almost laughed at the pitiful expression on his face but I knew that would exacerbate the situation further.
"Mulder, there is something inside of you that makes you special. Your eyes hold the answers to questions that so many people are scared to ask. Yet every time you've been given a chance to seek out those answers…you jumped right in." I paused my eyes locking onto his. His face was attentive, each word I spoke finally getting through to him. "I know that you worry Mulder. I know that you're afraid that something will happen and William will become a tortured soul like you. What you don't realize is that you've changed in the past seven years. You just needed to open up and trust someone…someone that wouldn't betray you at the first opportunity. I'm glad that I could be that person. Thank you for giving me what I wanted…everything I wanted."
His hands were hanging limply at his sides. Gradually he ran them up my arms until my face was cradled in his palms. He knew what reaction this evoked in me every time he did it. I always felt safe and protected in his grasp.
We sat there for a moment, taking in the quiet and solitude. It was so relaxing to just stare into his eyes…so content. I saw something flicker in those hazel depths just before he pulled my body to his for a tight gripping hug. I felt his breath in my hair as he began to speak. "Scully, I just don't want him to be like me. I want him to understand that he can take this life and hold it by the hand. I want him to greet the world with an open heart and mind. I don't want to be like my father and destroy all of his dreams."
I pulled away and stared him directly in the eyes. "You could never be your father Mulder. You're scared. So am I. But there is something we both have to understand and look at. We have a beautiful son together. He's going to become the man we mold him into. And nothing, I do mean NOTHING will get past that. He is going to be fine. And the reason I know this is because unlike your father, you are concerned for what happens to him. You have a heart that will never stop giving love to our child. For that I couldn't love you more." I moved up and kissed him softly on the lips before moving away.
He grabbed me before I could stand up fully. "No Scully. Please just stay here and let me hold you a little while. I feel like we never have enough time together alone anymore."
I smiled and settled back into his lap. He was so warm and comfortable…it felt so right to be cradled in his arms the way I normally cradled our child.
I drew in a deep breath, focusing on the way he smelled. I always loved the way his cologne intermingled that deep smell of a man. It was one of those things that comforted me no matter what. I curled up even closer to him, my head dropping towards his chest and listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It was so lulling…so peaceful.
I closed my eyes and let the exhaustion take over my mind.
~@~
My mind was hazy as I drifted into consciousness. I opened my eyes slowly to figure out what had happened. The last thing I could remember was curling up in Mulder's lap. From what I could tell now, I was laying in bed with a light blanket covering me.
My eyes drifted languidly towards the clock and I shot out of the bed in an instant. I'd been asleep for nearly four hours. Billy had to be awake by now. I didn't hear him crying, but I felt bad just the same. The poor kid was probably lying in his crib wondering where the heck his parents were. Mulder has said something about going back to his apartment to catch the Nicks game. I was sure he left as soon as he placed me in bed.
I started to walk towards Billy's bedroom softly. If he was asleep, there would be no point in waking him up. After all, he was still waking up in the middle of the night at four months old. I had talked to his pediatrician about it at his last doctor's appointment, and the doctor told me there was nothing to worry about. I only needed to worry if he reached a year and still wasn't sleeping through the night.
I was halfway to Billy's room when I heard a swishing noise. It sounded very much like the glider I kept in the baby's room. I got closer to the doorway and another faint sound drifted towards me. I could swear it sounded like Mulder singing…
"Christopher Robin and I walked along,
under branches lit up by the moon.
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore,
as our days disappeared all too soon.
But I've wandered much further today than I should
and I can't seem to find my way back to the woods."
I was extremely quiet as I peered around the corner. What I saw would embed itself in my mind for the rest of my life. Mulder was sitting in the glider, rocking back and forth slowly with Billy in his arms. Our beautiful son was watching him intently. There was a tiny ragged Pooh bear that swayed up and down in Mulder's other hand.
"So, help me if you can
I've got to get back to the house at Pooh Corner by one.
You'd be surprised there's so much to be done.
Count all the bees in the hive;
chase all the clouds from the sky.
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh."
Mulder was mimicking the song as he sang it softly. Every time he mentioned Pooh he would take the stuffed bear and nuzzle Billy's nose. I felt tears spring to my eyes. He loved our child…it was so very obvious by just watching him.
"Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do
got a honey jar stuck on his nose.
He came to me asking help and advice
and from here no one knows where he goes.
So, I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there
how to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear."
Mulder nuzzled Billy's nose as he sang the last line and Billy reached up to grab the bear from Mulder's hand. He let the baby take the bear and hug it close to his chest. At that moment, I finally understood why a giant Pooh bear had taken residence in the corner of the room.
Billy was falling asleep in his arms and I knew that he must've woken up not long after I fell asleep in Mulder's arms. He was fighting to keep his eyes open so he could stare at his father, but it was definitely a losing battle.
"It's hard to explain how a few precious things
seem to follow throughout all our lives.
After all's said and done I was watching my son
sleeping there with my bear by his side.
So, I tucked him in, I kissed him,
and as I was going, I swear that the old bear
whispered 'boy welcome home.'"
There was an apparent look of remembrance in Mulder's eyes while singing the song. I didn't know why it affected him so much, but I was bound and determined to find out sooner or later. I had to figure out why that tiny ragged Pooh bear was so important to Mulder.
Mulder smiled as our son finally lost the battle against the obvious exhaustion that was rippling through him. He sighed contentedly and his eyes drifted shut, a soft smile playing across his tiny lips.
"Believe me if you can,
I've finally come back to the house at Pooh Corner by one.
What do you know, there's so much to be done.
Count all the bees in the hive;
chase all the clouds from the sky.
Back to the days of Christopher Robin,
back to the ways of Christopher Robin,
back to the days of Pooh."
As soon as the song was finished he stood up slowly and went to place Billy in his crib. He bent over and kissed him softly on his forehead then turned towards me. The smile that he had the entire time he was singing to our child was still on his lips.
His eyes locked on mine and I realized that Mulder had known I was there the entire time. He walked towards me quietly, pushing me out the door and stopping long enough to turn on the baby monitor and scoop up the receiver.
He shut the door almost all the way, leaving a few inches like I always did. He didn't speak until we reached the living room.
"Scully, can you sit down for me?"
I sat down obediently. I was still in somewhat of a dazed state at what I just witnessed. I started to get a little concerned when he began to pace in front of me.
Almost as if he had read my mind he sat down next to me and turned my face towards his. When our eyes locked I saw so much love and contentment that I drew in a sharp gasp. He had never looked at me quite like that before. I felt all that concentration that he used to put into a case focused directly on me.
"Scully, I know that things have been hectic ever since Billy was born, but…" He paused a slight look of fear crossing his handsome features. "I didn't know this was going to be so hard to explain."
I felt like crying out at his words. So may different things flashed through my mind at that moment. He was going to walk out. He was too afraid to stay around and raise a child with me. He wanted to start staying at his apartment again. He was spending too much time over here. It was like a bad dream…
"Scully, will you marry me?" He blurted out suddenly. His face was pale. I had to do a double take.
"Wha…what?" I sputtered out incoherently. If I hadn't known better I would swear he just asked me to marry him.
He shot off the couch and began to pace in front of me again. "Damnit, I knew I wasn't going to do this right! Hold on a second." His face became level with mine as he kneeled down on one knee. "Scully, I trust you and love you more than anything in this world. You've given me something I never thought I needed or wanted…a family of my own. In the entire time I've known you, there has never been any doubt in my mind that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."
Mulder reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tiny black box. His hands were shaking as he opened it to reveal a beautiful engagement ring. "Dana, please help me to remember the good things in this life. Please tell me you want to spend what time we have on this planet together."
I was staring at him, my eyes flooded with tears. I swiped them away hurriedly. I hated postpartum emotions. They made me cry at everything. I was brushing another tear away when Mulder's hand caught mine and pulled it away. His lips descended upon my cheeks, brushing the salty water away.
"Please, please say yes. Please" I heard him mumbling softly as he kissed my skin. It was almost a litany by that point.
I moved his lips away from my cheeks and kissed him softly. "Yes Mulder. Yes." His face lit up at my answer. He took the ring out of the box and placed it carefully on my finger. He stood up suddenly and picked me up to swing me around.
"Thank you Scully. You've made me happier than any man on this earth." His lips met mine over and over until I wasn't quite sure where he began and I ended. He was crying with me now…his eyes bright and shining.
~Fin