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He’s a bad guy, Paimon reminds her the moment he saves her.
And he fits the stereotype too. Tall, handsome and mysterious. Deep blue eyes that glint with mystery and a voice that can be charming when he wants to.
He’s a bad guy, Paimon reminds her again, the next time they meet at Liuli Pavilion.
Even if he was the one who helped her clear her name. Even if he butters her up with pet names and honeyed words. Lumine knows everything he does is just a part of that big hidden Fatui Agenda.
During the preparation for the rite, she’s the one that reminds Paimon as he tempts her with money. The thought of what happened in Mondstadt sombers them immediately.
Of course Lumine knows it. She would be a fool not to realize.
So when he walks up behind her in the Golden House with his eyes as cold as ice and his weapon drawn, she tells herself she isn’t surprised.
A couple of days before their fight, she finds him along the coast of Yaoguang Shoal.
The sun is starting to sink into the horizon as she spots his lone figure against the sky painted in streaks of pink and gold. Before she realizes, she had walked over without too much thought.
“They say if you hold a starconch close to your ear, you can hear longing calls from the sea.”
Childe doesn’t seem surprised by her presence as he continues to stare out to sea. He has a starconch in his hands, twirling it gently such that the swirls of blue and white spin like a pinwheel. Flecks of light from the setting sun reflect off the ring on his pinky and dance on the sand.
“What do you hear then?” Lumine asks, her curiosity bubbling, because what could a Fatui possibly long for?
“A whale.”
“A whale?” She repeats.
“There’s a whale that sings a song like no other” He continues. “Because of that, no one else can hear it. So it wanders along, crying for companionship that never comes.”
“It’s lonely, isn’t it?” He murmurs.
His eyes look so deep and sad, it makes her feel like she’s drowning. She had expected something simple like to become stronger, or if he was being genuine, something like ultimate victory for the Tsaritsa . The winds of the sea tosses her hair around. It makes her feel like she’s trembling, coaxed out of her shell into a part of his world.
Then she hears a laugh from her side, charming and playful. His head is thrown back such that the waning sunlight intertwines with his auburn hair, setting it aglow. “Don’t take things so seriously, Ojou-chan .” He says.
The lilt in his voice is back and his smile is wide. But his eyes still look sad.
It doesn’t take her too long to heal. Yet the wear and tear on the heart takes longer.
He said he wouldn’t kill her and he doesn’t. Yet it hurts the way he looks at her like she’s an obstacle in the way of this grand scheme. The way he fights is mercenary and the way he talks is cold and domineering.
She isn’t surprised, she tells herself. Yet it feels like he plunged a sword right through her heart.
For some reason they always seek out each other’s company. On nights she can’t sleep, they find each other at the edge of the dock in Liyue harbour. As the sun rises in rich tones of orange and gold, they sit shoulder to shoulder, neither wanting to leave even though there’s too much they cannot share.
Why? Why? Why? Why? These thoughts start to meld together in her head. Even if she never believed him, she wanted to. She wanted to think that their interactions meant something, that the “Childe” she knew wasn’t a complete farce. She wanted to believe that the bits of the personality that showed through his mask were true.
“You’re hurt.” Zhongli comments.
It was becoming a weekly thing for them to meet at the WangSheng Funeral Parlor for tea. Partly to help him to get used to being mortal, and partly because she doesn’t have many people to lean on.
“I’m not hurt.” Lumine insists, embarrassed by her distracted thoughts. “I healed myself at your statue, which I’m surprised still works by the way.”
Zhongli doesn’t even acknowledge her jab at him as he decants the tea. Careful hands pour the amber liquid into the porcelain teacups in front of him before he hands one to her. “Violetgrass tea is said to be good for the soul.” He says. “It’s said to reduce stress and improve clarity.”
“If you wanted to help my stress, you would tell me about your contract with the Tsar.” Lumine pouts. Still she accepts the tea, sniffing at the surprisingly soothing scent.
The former god, as immaculate as ever, simply looks over with mild amusement on his face. “All in due time.” He says “Take your time to step back and evaluate. In life, situations and people can be more complex than they seem”
“Alright.” She grumbles begrudgingly. As much as she’s frustrated by his actions, Zhongli has an abundance of experience and she values his input.
Still she tells herself never to look into those deep blue eyes again.
She sees those eyes again way earlier than she would have liked, on a young stowaway named Teucer. And everything threatens to come crashing down again.
“Give me ten more seconds, Teucer.”
In the stifling metal prison that is the ruin guard lab, his voice reflects off the surfaces and echoes in her ears. That voice doesn’t belong to Childe. Not Tartaglia either. But a caring older brother, whom she does not know the name of.
“Now look who’s cheating, Onii-chan !” Lumine barely hears Teucer complain, drowned out by adrenaline as the ruin guards get closer. She steadies herself, ready to grab Teucer and run if necessary.
He gives the softest smile she’s ever seen. It’s small but sincere, and his deep blue eyes follow through crinkling gently. Even in this dangerous situation, she can’t help thinking it’s lovely.
“Ten, nine, eight....”
She feels that same piercing fear she felt in the Golden House as the flash of purple light blinds her. This time the fear is for him instead of because of him.
“Seven, six, five...”
He had said he was injured, yet he gives everything he has just to protect his brother’s dream. She thinks how she is the same. How her brother is the same.
“Four, three, two..”
Stop humanizing your enemies , she scolds herself.
“One.”
As he plunges to the ground, she feels herself falling, falling, falling .
The moment the dust settles, she finds him again. It feels like meeting him anew.
He definitely seems worse for wear. The lacerations on his body are shallow but his body shakes as he winces and pants in pain, unable to stand . On top of it all, the fear of disappointing his brother is still painted on his face.
He’s hurting internally , Lumine thinks. Maybe in more ways than one.
When all the layers of covers and manipulation are pulled away, perhaps this is what remains. This is the first time she truly sees him with all his weaknesses.
“I could kill you now.” Lumine says, if only to hide how her heart is pounding in her chest.
But you won’t.” He grimaces in pain in the attempt of a smile. “ I know you Lumine.”
“If you make a promise, you keep it. If you make a mistake, you apologize. If you give someone a dream, you defend it to the end.”
“You live by the same sayings, don’t you?”
“My brother told us all about you in a letter! He said that if he ever had the chance, he would quit his job and join you on your adventures!”
She can’t help stifling a laugh, hearing these words that were never meant for her ears said with such exuberance. The air feels light as the laughter bubbles in her chest, threatening to come out as a giggle.
“Thanks for telling me Teucer.” She says. It's hard to keep a straight face, as she sees a flash of auburn hair in the corner of the room.
When Teucer leaves with fond goodbyes and a promise to meet again, she heads over to the corner where he stands.
He looks better. His movements still seem weaker than usual but he’s standing, at the very least. There’s the lightest shade of pink dusted across his pale skin. If she wasn’t looking for it she would have missed it. “It’s a shame I couldn’t see him off myself.” He sighs, “I have subordinates to take him back but.. still I feel uneasy. Somehow, I felt much more at ease leaving him in your care. Surprising seeing that not long ago we-”
“So, are you going to tell me what you wrote?” She cuts him off with this bombshell, eyebrows raised.
There’s an actual crack in his composure for once. He startles visibly, as he ducks his head to the side. His mouth opens to reply and then shuts again. Instead he pulls out a small sack of mora and tosses it into her hands. “Remuneration for your services.” He coughs out.
She catches the bag, weighty in her hands and looks at him fondly. Then, she tosses it back.
“Make me a promise instead.” She says.
Maybe she’s risking everything. Maybe it will end badly for both of them. She swallows down these doubts because she likes this light airy feeling in her heart and she knows it's worth fighting for.
“-that someday you’ll join me on my adventures.”
Childe? Tartaglia? looks back at her, with that small genuine smile on his face. He links his finger with hers, the metal ring on his pinky cool against her skin.
This is all they have for now, but there will be more in the future. This isn’t the end.
For the first time, they make a promise that they aren’t sure how to keep.
But certainly both of them will try.