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Bite Your Tongue (Choke Yourself To Sleep)

Summary:

reid tipped his head back and leaned it on the shoulder behind him, making it look like he was just putting on a show. he whispered, "i swear to god if you hold what i'm about to do against me, i'm sending garcia the baby pictures your mother gave me."

••

or the one in which spencer has to go undercover in a club and his friends are far too smug

Notes:

title from "choke" by i don't know how but they found me

just a warning - i can't write case fics so those parts aren't quite the best, but that's okay.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"we've been contacted by local police to assist them on a case they've been working for a while." hotch stood at the front of the room, garcia to his side ready to assist the moment she was needed. 

it was early in the morning, the start of their work day for most of them (hotch and reid had already been at work for a while before the others had arrived, of course). they'd been called into the briefing room as soon as everyone was there, so most of them were very under-caffeinated and just wanted to get it over with. seeing hotch ready to brief them instead of garcia made them much more alert.

"if they've been at it for a while, why are they only just calling us in?" morgan asked.

"they were doing well with it. in fact, they've very nearly caught him. we've been called in to help with the actual takedown. i don't have all of the details yet about each victim but i know enough to be sure that they did the right thing bringing us in now. with the first being eight weeks ago, twelve men have been raped and murdered. they all share very similar physical attributes, and they were all last seen at bars or clubs in the area. we've been called in to assist them in an undercover operation."

"is one of us going undercover or are we just helping them?" emily questioned. 

hotch looked at the paper he was holding in his hand for a few seconds before slightly sighing. instead of answering, he put the sheet on the table in front of the others. the paper contained headshots of the twelve victims.

morgan blew out a breath. "shit, pretty boy, they all look exactly like you."

"i had a feeling it was going to be me." reid had a minor scowl on his face - not at any of his team members, but at the thought of having to go undercover to lure out someone who would want to rape and murder him. 

"why's that?" rossi asked.

reid raised an eyebrow. "isn't it always me who pulls the short straw?"

"touché."

"reid," hotch's voice had gone softer but still maintained its professional edge to it, "if you aren't comfortable with this, that's okay. we can find someone else."

"no, it's fine." he sighed. "just because i'm not fond of the idea of playing bait to the unsub, it doesn't mean i won't do it anyway. i trust you guys enough to make sure i leave with only minor injuries."

"you won't be getting any injuries." morgan stated firmly.

reid didn't smile but the amusement was clear in his eyes. "i always get some sort of injury. i'm more surprised when i come home from a case completely unscathed than otherwise." 

"kid's got a point. is it safe?" rossi asked.

obviously everybody knew that the mission wasn't safe - they were going after a violent criminal, after all - but the actual meaning was clear. would the team be around to keep him safe?

"at least three of us will also be in the club, as well as a few members of the police department." hotch confirmed. "are you sure you're okay with this, reid?"

if it was anybody outside of the team, they'd assume this was simply a leader ensuring that a case would go smoothly. to the bau, this was a clear sign of worry for their youngest member. 

"yes, hotch." reid gave a small smile at the concern. "just tell me what you want from me and i'll do it."

hotch nodded. "thank you, reid." he turned his attention to the whole group. "we'll be driving down to the precinct. there, we will be given more information on the case, as well as more information as to what exactly they'd like from reid. we'll be looking over their information to see if we can help this operation run any smoother and to confirm that their findings are correct before sending anybody in. wheels up in thirty."

"he does realise we're not getting on a plane, right?" reid murmured to jj, who snorted in her seat next to him. 

"i think he just likes the way it sounds." she joked quietly back as they rose from the table.

"i think he just wants to pretend that he won't be stuck in a car with morgan." 

"can you blame me? nobody wants to be stuck in a car with morgan." hotch didn't look up from where he was sorting through papers.

"hey! i am a delight!" the man stopped on his way out of the room.

"i'll believe that when you stop playing that awful music whenever you get control of the radio." 

they continued bickering on their way out into the bullpen before separating to grab their things. since they weren't going far, they didn't need their go-bags. they'd be back in their own beds that night before heading back out the next day. 

eventually they found themselves walking into the precinct, being greeted by the surprisingly welcoming police and led to a small conference room where several files were spread across the table.

"this is everything we have on the case," detective laurens explained, "but if there's anything else you need, give a shout and we'll see what we can do. my office is the room to your left if you need me."

hotch thanked him, waiting until he left the room before he turned to his team. "morgan and prentiss, go through victimology. see if there's any reason reid shouldn't be the one to be sent in, and if he does go in, how exactly he should act. reid and jj, they've narrowed down the unsub's next location to a few different places. go through the list and try to narrow it down further. rossi, we're going to go through the information they've provided us with and ensure that their conclusions are accurate."

everybody immediately got to work. after a few minutes of discussion with prentiss over victimology, morgan asked, "hey, hotch, if they're already so close to catching this guy, why bring us in now?" 

"nobody here has much experience undercover. there have been one or two occasions where they've put plain clothes officers in positions to watch their unsubs before arresting them, but nothing like this. with how prolific this one is becoming, they can't risk anything going wrong."

morgan accepted the explanation but he wasn't happy about it. the thought of reid being the one to lure out a deranged killer wasn't one he was okay with entertaining. he had complete faith in his team and he knew that reid was capable of handing himself but it didn't stop him from worrying. there wasn't anything he could do about it, though, so instead he got back to work to make sure it was absolutely the best course of action. 

the team worked for several hours, discussing between their pairs and occasionally contacting garcia. after a while, hotch asked them to relay their findings.

"we've narrowed it down to one club and one bar. we're leaning more towards the club, due to a current lack of security cameras." reid answered.

"if he hits tomorrow, it'll most likely be the club. they're very inclusive but according to garcia, it's widely known that it's very popular to the gay community on friday nights. if he's luring them out under the pretense of sex, he'll see it as beneficial to him." jj added.

"that checks out. he's been seen dancing with the victims before leaving with them. not enough for anybody to get an accurate description other than an apparent scar on his left eyebrow, black hair, and the fact that he's tall, but enough to assume he's using sex as a ruse." rossi turned to morgan and prentiss. "what do you think? should we send reid in?"

morgan sighed. "i don't like it, but it does seem like the best option."

"yeah, reid looks scarily similar to each of the victims. he doesn't seem to be looking for a particular body type, only above the shoulders seem to be important to him. as for how he should act, the best approach is probably being a typical party-goer. just a drunk guy who wants to get laid."

hotch raised an eyebrow at reid. "can you do that or is too far out of your comfort zone?"

reid snorted. "yeah, hotch, i think i'll be able to handle it." his gaze softened when he noticed the frown on his boss' face. "seriously, hotch. i'll be okay. i'll probably feel a little awkward, sure, but only because i know you guys will be watching. i can deal with it."

whatever hotch was going to reply with was cut off as the door opened and detective laurens walked in with a kind smile. "hi, agents. just wanted to check in, see where we were at."

"we believe we have the location he'll hit if he hits tomorrow, so we'll send our agent in then." he told the detective before gesturing towards reid. "doctor reid is going to be the one going in. did you already have a plan for luring the unsub out?" 

"i figured that since you guys have much more experience than me, i'd leave it up to you. just let me know how many officers you want in there."

"i think three officers spread about the club will do. we'll also have three agents in there - agent morgan, agent prentiss, and myself."

"okay, sounds good." the detective looked at reid and his eyes widened slightly. "you really do look like them boys, huh?"

reid awkwardly smiled, unsure how to respond. thankfully for him, rossi stepped in. "lucky for us, he does. let's just hope we can get him into something other than a sweater vest." he teased, making reid's smile a little more genuine at the joke. 

the detective chucked. "alright, well i'll leave you to it. come find me before you leave for the night and we can talk over the plan for arresting the guy."

the unit chief agreed and turned to reid once he was gone. "rossi has a point. do you need to buy any clothes to wear to a club?" 

reid looked around the room and saw expectant faces staring back at him. "you guys do realise i've gone clubbing before, right?" 

"joining us for a drink at a bar doesn't quite count as clubbing, pretty boy."

he shot morgan a look that said 'seriously?' and rolled his eyes. "yes, morgan, i am aware of that." he focused his gaze back on hotch. "i do have clothes at home that i can wear. if i'm being sent out tomorrow, would you rather me show up here in the clothes or bring them to change into?"

"just bring them to change into. we'll spend some time tomorrow going over everything and then send you out around half nine. from what we know, he typically shows up sometime around ten, meaning you'll definitely be there before him and he won't see that you haven't actually drank."

"got it." he nodded. 

"have you seen what the victims typically wore for a night out?" he shook his head at prentiss' question. "here, garcia found photos on social media. you really might wanna have a look before you say you have something to wear."

he opened the folder that she passed him and quickly looked through. they were all wearing very tight clothing with a lot of skin showing - some in shorts, some in crop tops. the one with the most clothing was a man wearing jeans that looked painted on and a practically see-through short-sleeved white t-shirt. it was clear that the body didn't play a factor in the unsub's choice. some were muscular, some were sticks, some had tattoos, some didn't. that was good at least.

"you guys are really all going to have to see me dressed like this?"

"come on spence, you'll look great. we can go shopping for something before we get back here, if you want."

"thank you, jj," he smiled, "but that won't be necessary. i have clothes at home that i can wear."

that caused more than one pair of eyebrows to raise.

"you have clothes like that at home?" prentiss questioned, lips twitching as if holding back a smile.

he nodded. if it wasn't for the blush on his checks, he would've been the picture of unbothered. 

"i cannot wait to see this." morgan smirked. 

"that'll be all for today. there isn't much more we can get done tonight. you're all aware of our usual process of arresting an unsub during an undercover operation, so you can head out. morgan, you'll have to ride with them. rossi and i have to speak with detective laurens to go over the plan and choose which officers. the bureau is closer to the club than this precinct is, so arrive there at the regular time. reid, you'll be out late tonight so try not get to work as early as you usually do. you should sleep in a little longer to make up for the sleep you'll lose tomorrow."

reid frowned at the idea of not getting to work at his usual time but followed everybody else in getting ready to leave. the two oldest agents left to go talk to the detective as the rest filed out into the car. 

he really was okay with going undercover. he didn't mind that bit - he'd done it plenty of times before. he'd just never had to dress up in club clothes and act like a horny drunk guy around the team. contrary to popular belief, he wasn't that unfamiliar with clubs. he didn't go often, not with how bright the lights were and how loud the music was, but sometimes he would meet up with friends from college for a drink and they'd go out clubbing for old time's sake. he was a different person with college friends than he was with his work friends. that's not to say he was better friends with them, he was just around them in a different environment and able to let loose more. 

he also wasn't sure what clothes to wear. he had a lot of options but not much he was willing to wear around the team. it's not that he was embarrassed by his wardrobe for nights out, but the team had never seen him in less than a shirt and slacks. how would they react when they saw him show up in party clothes? he just knew garcia would force him to go out dancing with her and morgan when she discovers this other side to him.

reid was broken out of his thoughts when he felt the car stop. 

"come on, kid." morgan said. "i'll give you a ride home. do you have to grab anything from your desk or can we head straight to my car?" 

"uh, straight to your car is fine." he awkwardly patted the strap of his bag, unnecessarily pointing out that he has everything. 

they'd parked in the downstairs parking lot so it was a short walk to morgan's car. it was a few minutes into the drive when morgan finally glanced at the man in the passenger seat and asked, "are you sure you're alright with this, reid? there's no shame in backing out." 

just because reid knew this conversation was coming doesn't mean it wasn't exasperating to have. "morgan," he started, "i understand that you're worried about me. thank you, i appreciate it. but it's okay. i really am fine with it. i'll be perfectly safe with more than one federal agent around me, including you. nothing's going to happen."

he watched some of the tension bleed out of morgan's shoulders, not all of it but enough to show that his words had the intended effect. 

"okay." morgan said after a few seconds. "i know you can do your job, and i know you can handle this. i don't like it, but i trust that you'll be safe. besides," he smirked, "it means i'll finally get to see doctor reid let loose on the dance floor."

the doctor could feel the heat in his cheeks as he looked out of the window ahead of him, much to his friend's amusement. "shut up."

"i don't think so, pretty boy. i gotta say, i'm excited for whatever party outfit you pull together. might have to get garcia to take a picture for me to set as my computer background."

reid groaned.

the rest of the drive passed in friendly banter and occasional comfortable silence but soon they arrived at reid's apartment. they said their goodbyes and morgan drove away once he saw his friend was in safely. 

well, spencer thought as he opened his door, time to find an outfit that won't leave me forever mortified. how fun.


the next day found them all in the roundtable room, including detective laurens with a few officers. more officers were going to be there for the takedown but they'd be driving down from the precinct when the time came.

they'd just finished discussing the logistics, making sure everything was as perfect as could be before hotch told reid to go get changed. it was currently eight in the evening, and hotch wanted his subordinate to be ready at least an hour before they had to leave to give them time to make sure reid had appropriate clothing.

reid grabbed the bag containing his clothes and headed to the bathroom, calling over his shoulder, "i got a friend to pick this for me so i apologise in advance." he ignored the ribbing from his teammates and instead focused on getting changed.

choosing an outfit proved easier said than done and after an hour of searching, he'd given up. he flopped down face first onto his bed, grabbing his phone and using speed dial to call without looking up from the bed. "i have a clothing predicament and i require assistance", he had said. it took another half an hour for them to make a decision, but when they did, spencer was glad he'd called.

the first person to notice reid walk back into the room was prentiss. her eyebrows raised and she let out a low whistle, causing the rest of the team to turn and look. 

"damn, reid. you really put the pretty in pretty boy, huh?" morgan grinned. 

reid looked down at his outfit. he was wearing incredibly skinny jeans, not quite the skinniest pair he owned but much more comfortable. paired with that was black combats boots and a black mesh crop top. a black denim jacket was over the top.

"didn't know you had it in you, kid." rossi commented. "these are clothes you actually own?"

he nodded. 

prentiss squinted her eyes. "what's under your shirt?" 

reid looked back down at his clothes, seeing nothing under the shirt. "what do you mean?"

she stepped closer until she was right in front of him. "reid," she said slowly, "are those… tattoos?" 

"wait what?" morgan rushed over, making reid take a step back in caution.

"yes?" he answered. "did you.. not know?" 

"you mentioned a tattoo, not several!"

"he mentioned a tattoo? why didn't i know?" morgan seemed actually offended.

"guys, guys," he held a hand out placatingly, "it just never came up. i wasn't hiding them or anything. the one emily knows about is one on my leg because we were talking about doctor who and i mentioned my tardis tattoo. other than that, it's just never came up." he shrugged.

morgan stared at him for a few seconds before huffing out a laugh and shaking his head. "i cannot believe you've been getting tattoos all this time and i didn't know. i'd do something to you to get payback for not telling me but jj went to get garcia and i think her finding out will be punishment enough."

reid's eyes widened in terror at the reminder of their technical analyst, the utter fear on his face making his colleagues laugh. he looked around to each of them for help with wide eyes but only received looks that were far too amused for his liking. 

"baby genius, turn around and let me see you!" 

he most certainly did not let out a completely undignified squeak and try to hide behind morgan. absolutely not. 

slowly turning around (after that jerk morgan forcibly pushed him forward), he raised a hand and waved at the woman in front of him. unfortunately for him, this made his sleeve slip slightly down and garcia mirrored prentiss' earlier look of confusion with squinted eyes. he looked at his exposed wrist and noticed the tattoo now showing from under his sleeve. his eyes widened once again and he shoved his arm behind his back. bad move. for a genius, he could be pretty dumb sometimes. 

garcia gasped. "spencer reid, you take that jacket off right this instant or i will take it off for you."

if it was anyone else, he wouldn't have taken them seriously. but, well, it was garcia. he knew she was being honest, which is why he slowly did as she said. he held his jacket out to the side and thank god his friends were smart because prentiss got the hint and held the jacket for him. 

garcia's jaw dropped at the ink that was now fully exposed. randomly placed tattoos were littered over her friend's skin, peaking out of the waistband of his jeans, on his torso, and down his arms. it took her a few seconds to process what she was seeing, having had no idea that reid even liked tattoos. "these are real, right? because i swear to all that is holy if this is just a joke i will ruin your credit score so har-"

"yes, garcia," he interrupted, "they're very much real." he watched her stare at his body for far longer than he was comfortable with, fighting the urge to put his jacket back on and cover himself up completely, but before he could, she suddenly rushed forward and trapped in him a tight hug, him letting out a small grunt at the force of it.

"why didn't you tell me you had tattoos?! how long have you had them?! are they really real?! are you secretly a badass?!"

before he could answer any of the blonde's questions, hotch saved him. "you can interrogate reid later. for now, we have a case that needs all of our attention, and you're going to wrinkle his clothes." they didn't actually need to stop the conversation - they still had time to spare before needing to leave - but hotch took pity on the young man, knowing he was probably already embarrassed.

the feeling of being chastised was quickly drowned out by the reminder of his outfit. taking a few steps back, she looked him up and down, an appreciative smile spreading over her face. "my, my, doctor reid. don't you clean up nice?"

reid flushed. "thank you, garcia." he murmured. turning to hotch he asked, "so is this okay? it's not too much?"

hotch's face was completely straight but the amusement he felt was clear as day for those who knew him. "i think it's perfect, actually. what do you think, rossi?"

the man in question raised an eyebrow at the tattooed man. "you look like a ken doll."

despite his embarrassment, his friends' laughter bought a small smile to his face to accompany the spreading redness. "i'm taking that as a compliment."

"i gotta ask, you really just had this outfit lying around at home? you?" morgan was having troubling reconciling the nerd he knew with the man in front of him, though the awkward smile reid gave him helped a lot.

"uh, yeah."

"..okay. and who's this friend that helped you choose it?"

"the same friend that bought me it."

"...and who would that be?"

he smiled in lieu of answering.

morgan shook his head, small teasing smirk on his face. "alright, pretty boy. keep your secrets. i'll find out."

"i'm sure you will."

"spence!" jj exclaimed as she walked into the room. "you look great! is that a new tattoo?"

"yeah, i got it a few weeks back. like it?"

"absolutely." 

garcia looked back and forth between them. "wait. you knew? she knew?"

reid looked like a little kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "um, yeah."

"why did she get to know?!" she shrieked

"will and he get tattoos together. they come back and show me them after."

conversation ensued for a few minutes about reid's tattoos before hotch stepped in and told them they had to get ready to leave soon, this time actually meaning it.

they went through the plan one more time, not that they really needed to with how simple it was, it was more for routine than anything else. morgan once again teased him for having to dance and act drunk in a club, which only received an eye roll in response.

once that was done, morgan, prentiss, and hotch went to change, each returning in more casual clothes. seeing hotch in a t-shirt and jeans felt odd, but they didn't dwell on it. by the time everyone was ready, it was time to leave. hotch, morgan and reid drove in morgan's car, with prentiss driving with one of the officers, the remaining two driving in another car. as a precaution, morgan ("hotch, man, i don't care if you're my boss, you're not driving my car") dropped him off a block away from the club for him to walk the rest of the way, the night warm enough for reid to leave his jacket in the car.

getting in wasn't much of a hassle, though the bouncer did compare him to his photo for much longer than reid deemed necessary. when he was there, he did exactly as planned. he ordered a coke but asked for it to be in a whiskey glass. the bartender gave him a look but did as requested. he nursed his glass for around fifteen minutes, taking slow sips every now and then. he looked around the club, seeing morgan dancing with a girl, prentiss chatting with one of the undercover officers, hotch drinking a beer at the bar a few seats down from him, one of the officers on the dance floor, and the other sitting at a table at the edge of the room. 

"well hello, gorgeous." 

he looked to his left to see a blonde man, a few inches shorter than him. definitely not the unsub.

"hi." he needed the man to leave but couldn't risk him causing a scene.

the man leered at him - that was the only word that could describe it. "i couldn't help but notice that you're sat here alone, and i can't let such a pretty face get lonely, can i? care for a dance?"

"i'm good, but thank you." he politely declined. the smile dropped off of the other's face.

"what, am i not good enough or something? you're at a bar alone, don't act so high and mighty." 

the sudden change in demeanour threw reid for a loop but he didn't let it show. "i'm not alone. i'm with my boyfriend." 

the man scoffed. "oh yeah? then where is he?"

reid panicked, having not thought that far. he kept a calm mask in place and looked around the club as if searching for a particular person when he was really just stalling. his eyes caught morgan's and an idea formed that he just knew was going to suck, for lack of a better term.

he nodded his head towards his teammate, who, luckily, had finished dancing and was instead talking to the bartender at the other end of the bar. "he's right there, he went to get himself another drink."

the man gave him a disbelieving look. "really? you don't have to lie to me."

"i'm not lying." when morgan turned to look at him again, reid forced a soft smile onto his face and waved him over. if his friend was confused, he didn't show it. instead, he got his drink when it was poured and headed straight over, plastering on a bright smile.

"hey, pretty boy. who's your friend?" he greeted. he bought his drink to his lips while reid grabbed his free hand and held it between both of his on his lap.

"oh, he just wanted to keep me company. but if you still wanted to dance, i don't mind." 

he had never been more thankful for how fast his teammates caught onto unspoken words. "sorry, man. i'm afraid i'll have to steal my boy here for a song or two, he promised me a dance before our friend gets here." clever, clever man. that way he won't question when he sees reid dancing with the unsub, instead assuming he's their 'friend'.

the man looked fearfully at morgan despite the politeness. "o-of course." he stuttered before practically scurrying away. 

morgan leaned down to reid's ear, with the latter keeping the same 'loving' smile on his face. "so i'm your boyfriend or something now?"

the younger agent glanced down, pretending to be shy. "shut up and go dance with me, idiot." he muttered.

morgan laughed, but did as told, quickly downing his lemonade. his hands on reid's waist and reid's around his neck, they danced for two whole songs. quite frankly, morgan was shocked by the doctor's dancing. the way he moved so gracefully, so confidently, was a far cry from the usual awkward bumbling man he knew. at the start of the third song, morgan dipped his head into reid's neck, acting as if he was kissing it as he whispered, "unsub just walked in. heading towards bar. red jacket." 

from their position, the bar was behind reid, meaning he couldn't see who morgan was talking about. a quiet "oh for fuck sake" was the only warning his dance partner got before reid turned around in morgan's hold. he placed his arms on top of morgan's for a few seconds to make sure they remained around his waist before looping his arms back around morgan's neck. the change in position allowed him to see who morgan was talking about.

black hair. definitely taller than reid. fit the general build. then the light hit his face and he saw exactly what he needed - a scar across his left eyebrow. this was their guy. now, reid just had to catch his attention. 

he watched the unsub lean against the bar where he was standing and look around the room before they landed on the two men dancing, eyes widening as he saw reid. as disgusted as it made him feel trying to seduce a rapist/murderer, he looked the man in his eyes, then smirked and licked his lips. that definitely caught his attention. the unsub paid even more attention to reid, watching him dance against morgan.

reid tipped his head back and leaned it on the shoulder behind him, making it look like he was just putting on a show. he whispered, "i swear to god if you hold what i'm about to do against me, i'm sending garcia the baby pictures your mother gave me." 

morgan tilted his head down, lips against his shoulder. "i was an adorable baby, i'm not scared. if you've gotta warn me that you're doing it, it'll probably be worth it."

he murmured a small "i hate you" before lifting his head back up, flirtatious smile back as he found the unsub's eyes still on him. he maintained that eye contact as he put the case above his dignity and grinded back against his friend. he ignored the huff of laughter he felt on his shoulder, instead focusing his attention on letting his eyes trail up and down the man at the bar. he titled his head to the side as if in question at the man before repeating the grinding with more intensity. 

the man at the bar smirked at him before a finger in a 'come hither' motion. mission accomplished. he removed his arms from their place around morgan's neck and pulled the hands from around his waist. he turned to face his friend and said, "time to go grind on a murderer." the bluntness of the statement almost made morgan break the pretense of being sad at reid's departure.

morgan watched him for a few seconds as he headed over towards hotch at the bar, nodding at him to signal that the man reid was heading for was the unsub. the only way to describe how the younger man walked towards the unsub was to say that he sashayed. and that is not a word morgan uses lightly.

reid kept the small seductive smirk stretched across his lips as he reached the unsub and held a hand out to him, an invitation to dance. the man mirrored his expression as he accepted the offer, walking back onto the dancefloor holding the hand. they copied morgan and reid's initial dance position - reid's arms around the unsub's neck with his around reid's waist, facing one another. no words were shared between them for a full song.

the agent couldn't wait to get him arrested. he felt sick having to have those hands on him, knowing what they'd done; knowing what they wanted to do to him. he hated that he had to play into the fantasy but if disgust and shame were his only obstacles in getting this man put behind bars, he'd gladly do it. 

reid felt hot breath on his ear as the man bent his head down during the second song. "you wanna get out of here?" he offered, nibbling on the smaller man's earlobe.

he suppressed a repulsed shudder, instead choosing to tilt his head up and whisper, "i don't think i can wait that long. wanna go out back?" he prayed that the man would say yes because otherwise that kind of threw a wrench in their plans.

some sort of diety must have been listening because the man replied, "i like the way you think." 

he grabbed reid's hand again, pulling him out of the crowd and towards the alleyway behind the club. he turned to face reid as he opened the door, which proved to be the best move for them and the worst for him as it gave hotch the opportunity to rush forwards and grab the man's arms. the man tried to fight back but one look around shown an alleyway swarmed with police officers, so his resistance quickly faded away. 

it did not, however, stop him from glaring at reid as if trying to kill him through the powers of his mind. the doctor didn't flinch, instead looking behind him to see morgan and prentiss heading out of the open door.

"well hello, reid." prentiss grinned. reid shot her a glare that rivaled the unsub's, who was currently being passed off to detective laurens. his glare didn't faze the woman, only serving to make the grin grow because she's an absolute child, in reid's opinion.

"you did well in there, reid." hotch praised. he smiled and nodded in thanks, glad that at least hotch was a mature, responsible adult. "looked like you were having fun."

his boss was also an absolute child.

reid sighed. "i hate you all. and i'm cold. and i'm pretty sure you can all see my nipples right now so i'd really like to head back to grab my stuff from the bureau." 

the unit chief let out a rare smile. "alright, reid. detective laurens has a handle on this and all paperwork can wait until morning. you've had a long night, let's get you back."

they started heading towards the car.

"awe, does that mean i don't get to dance with you anymore, pretty boy?"

he flipped morgan the bird without turning around. 

within a few minutes, all four of them were piled into morgan's car. the officers were heading back to the precinct so prentiss had to ride with them back to the bureau instead of the car she was in originally. reid was just happy to finally put his jacket back on and sit down in the warmth. it really had gotten a lot colder as the night progressed. 

once they were finally back in the bureau, they were greeted with the other three members of the team, each looking like the cat that got the cream. this, of course, immediately worried reid as he knew, he just knew, that it had something to do with him. 

"what? what is it?" he asked, fatigue evident in his voice.

"nothing, nothing." garcia answered in a voice that only increased his worry. "we just wanted to congratulate you on a good takedown." his suspicion grew. "you made a really good move." his eyes narrowed. "you made a lot of good moves actually."

ah, there it is.

his head fell back and his eyes stared at the ceiling rather than his teammates who were far too chipper. "let me guess. cameras?" 

"got it in one, boy wonder."

"we knew he chose that club because of the lack of working cameras, so we made sure the officers and prentiss were wearing cameras that had live feed sent straight to us. sorry, spence."

she did not sound sorry.

"i despise you all." he finally looked back down to face the team who were stood in front of him. 

"apparently not morgan." prentiss mumbled.

"especially morgan."

"could've fooled me." morgan teased.

"do you despise me too?" his head whirled around to look in the direction the new voice came from - the glass doors. a grin split his face as soon as he saw the person stood there with a smile to match his own.

"ethan!" he yelled joyfully, quickly making his way to the other man before embracing him. 

ethan pulled back after enough time had passed that hug could no longer be considered just friendly. he looked up and down the slightly smaller man's frame appreciatively before declaring, "you don't wear this outfit nearly often enough." 

"then take me out somewhere i can wear it."

"i'd rather just take it off completely."

a cough a few feet behind them reminded the men that they weren't the only ones in the room. reid turned around with a blush on his face, holding ethan's hand as they walked towards the team.

"i don't think any of you guys have ever met, but this is ethan." 

"the jazz musician from new orleans?" jj questioned.

"that's me." he confirmed.

"nice to meet you, man." morgan greeted before turning to reid, unspoken question in his eyes.

"he's visiting for the weekend. i had to call him for help choosing an outfit last night and we decided he'd come a day early." he faced his companion. "did you end up finding your key or did you have to use the spare?" 

"yeah, about that…" reid raised an eyebrow. "i lost the spare on my way here."

reid stared blankly at him for a second before sighing. "I'm not even surprised. i'll get two new keys. maybe three if you insist on losing even more."

he looked back to see morgan smirking at him. "so, you're the one i have to thank for getting the kid dressed like this?" he asked ethan.

"i'm quite thankful i chose that outfit too but i'm fairly sure it's for a whole different reason."

reid snorted and poked ethan in the ribs with his elbow. "shut up." he looked over at hotch, purposefully ignoring the gleefully surprised looks on the rest of his team. "am i free to leave or is there anything that can't wait?"

his boss told him that as long as his paperwork was on his desk by monday morning, he could go. reid pulled ethan with him to get his bag from his desk, not wanting to leave him alone with his friends in fear of what either party would say. bag in hand, he started heading back when ethan tugged the hand he was holding and made him stop. 

"yes?"

"what, i don't get a proper hello?"

he rolled his eyes. "i hugged you at the door." ethan just stared expectantly. "my team is literally right there, probably watching us." more staring. "ethan." more staring. "okay, fine, whatever."

he sighed before leaning in, intending to only peck him on the lips. that plan was quickly foiled when ethan's hand shot up to hold the back of his head. the kiss went no further than lips moving against each other for a few seconds, but that didn't stop the team cheering and wolf-whistling as they pulled away.

"to answer your earlier question, yes. i do also despise you." the small pleased smile and blush on his cheeks said otherwise.

he shook his head, dragging ethan away to the glass doors. 

"reid! aren't you gonna let us say goodbye to you and your boyfriend?" prentiss grinned smugly.

"he's not my boyfriend!" he called over his shoulder as they walked.

"that kiss sure didn't look platonic." rossi commented. 

"it wasn't." he winked. 

reid walked away to the elevator and left the team in a stunned silence, broken only by morgan letting out a loud laugh and claiming, "that kid is always full of surprises." 

Notes:

yes, this was an excuse to make reid dance in a club. and yes, this was also an excuse to give reid tattoos and be a whore again. i apologise for nothing.