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Maura slammed open the door of the police station with a look that promised all sorts of unpleasant things if one so much as looked in her general direction. It was Saturday, almost lunchtime; it was hers and Jane’s first day off in nearly three weeks and she was damn well gonna stab the person responsible for calling them both in, on their day off, with the sharpest of her scalpels.
In a significantly more genial mood, Kenzie and Sarah followed after their furious mother, sporting a box of donuts and a bag of new dinosaur-themed goodies that was responsible for Sarah’s wide grin, as she happily waved to the officer behind the reception desk.
“Looking pretty, little miss!” He called jovially after them, waving back and grinning beneath his moustache.
“ ‘Tank you!” Sarah beamed, patting at her new black baseball cap with colorful dinosaurs.
Kenzie chuckled, as they reached the elevators where Maura was jabbing at the buttons impatiently and scowling in disdain. “Someone is having the best day today, huh?” The teenager grinned at the little girl.
“Yes!” Came the happy squeal, the little 2-year-old shaking the bag with her other goodies for further emphasis.
“At least someone is enjoying themselves…” Maura muttered, as an elevator finally arrived, and the doors opened with a ding.
“Don’t be so grumpy Maura.” Kenzie said with a smile, as she and Sarah were ushered in by their mother.
“I’ll be as grumpy as I damn well please!” The woman hissed back snippily “It is my day off!”
Kenzie chuckled, quickly sticking her head out the elevator to kiss the grumbling woman on the cheek. “Don’t kill anyone!” She advised playfully, snapping back inside the elevator as the doors started closing. Sarah waved happily and gleefully jabbed the button for the homicide bullpen.
Maura snorted, a small smile gracing her lips. “I make no promises…” She called back through the closing doors, moving toward the other elevator that would take her to the morgue.
******
The two girls exited the elevator to the sound of raised voices floating out of the bullpen. Kenzie noticed some of the officers and workers giving the partially opened door a wide berth as they walked past, and two brave souls peeking curiously through the narrow opening.
Kenzie guided her little sister toward the door, and when the two officers peeking in noticed them approaching, they grimaced. “I wouldn’t go in there…” One of them muttered.
Sarah, however, had no qualms whatsoever (she was indeed having the best of days) and pushed the door open and walked right in. “Hi, Mama!” She called happily, looking around to find her brunette mother.
Kenzie heard a muttered ‘Oh thank god!’ just before Jane rushed over to pick up her squealing daughter and spin her in circle. “Hello, my little princess! I’m so glad you’re here!”
Kenzie took in the overall relieved looks of the handful of detectives in the bullpen, including Frost and Korsak, and the fuming man by the board in the middle of the room, and raised an eyebrow. Frost mouthed a ‘thank you!’ her way and then exhaled exaggeratedly, before winking. The teenager chuckled and moved toward her mother’s desk to deposit her donut cargo. She leaned against the edge of the desk and observed as Jane firmly kept her back to the steadily purpling man by the board and listened intently as Sarah explained the acquisition of her new dinosaur goodies.
“Momma said bad wowds…” The little girl was saying with a frown. “No bad wowds!” She exclaimed with a waving fist. She then grinned and shook her bag of goodies. “T’enty dollaws!!”
“What?!” Jane exclaimed in exaggeration. “Twenty dollars?! That is too many bad words…” She nodded seriously at the girl in her arms and grinned at Kenzie.
“Yes!” The little girl agreed. “Stickews! And colow book!” The 2-year-old’s grin was wide and bright.
Jane raised an eyebrow at her eldest daughter in question. The teenager nodded. “Yeah, Maura was not happy about being called in and she may have said things… Even before Sarah could complain about the bad words, she was shoving a twenty at me and gesturing for me to take Sarah elsewhere. I figure there may have been some more bad words involved.” The girl chuckled. “Soooo, Sarah decided she wanted some new dinosaur stickers and a new coloring book… and when she saw the baseball caps, well… there may have been some cartoonishly bright eyes and that was that.”
Jane laughed, tapping the brim of her daughter’s new cap. She opened her mouth to comment on Sarah’s good fortune, when she was rudely cut off by the absolutely furious man still standing by the board in the middle of the bullpen. “Rizzoli! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He barked, slamming the marker in his hand on top of the nearest desk.
There was a collective gasp; Kenzie saw Jane’s left eye twitch menacingly, but before anyone could react, Sarah pointed an imperious finger at the man and all but shouted, “Bad wowd! Two dollaws!!”
The man just blinked at her. “What the hell?!” He barked, glaring furiously at Jane.
“Bad wowd! Five dollaws!!” Sarah shouted back, a frown on her cute little face.
Jane set her daughter back on the floor and gently directed her to her older sister’s side, all the while glaring at the fuming man.
“Rizzoli, why the fuck do you let your children into a fucking homicide bullpen?!” He yelled, gesticulating wildly.
“Romano, stop cursing in front of my daughter or I swear to God I will punch out your front teeth!” Jane threatened, at the same time that Sarah shouted ‘Two bad wowds! Fi’teen dollaws!!’, her little frown becoming more pronounced.
Turning wide eyes on Frost, Kenzie mouthed ‘What is happening?!’ over the shouting match. The man leaned over his desk to whisper: “He’s a detective from Mesquite, Nevada, here about one of our cases. Except, he’s demanding full access to everything and trying to take over, and demanded we all be called in on a weekend. According to him we’re ‘incompetent hacks and there’s no way a woman detective could solve a homicide case’…” He added the air quotes and then grimaced “And he even brought in his M.E., because apparently ‘a woman cannot tell the difference between a lung and a liver’…”
“Oh Jesus Christ, he did not! And Maura just went to the morgue to talk to this guy!” Kenzie hissed at him. He nodded solemnly.
“The guy is basically dead…” Frost commented with a wince, his eyes widening in alarm as little Sarah harumphed in utter annoyance and marched up to the still yelling pair of detectives.
Kenzie swiveled around just in time to watch her tiny two-year-old sister, glaring from under her dinosaur baseball cap, stomp her foot and shout in pure annoyance: “Bad wowds!! T’ity dollaws!!”, paired with a kick to man’s shoe.
The two arguing detectives actually paused at the mispronounced word, while detective Henderson snickered in the background and the other detectives exchanged amused grins.
And just then, a furious Dr. Maura Isles loudly marched into the bullpen in her designer heels, all but dragging a protesting man by his ear. There was a collective intake of breath, Frost going as far as wheeling back from his desk in honest fear and Korsak reaching for his bag of mixed nuts and fruits and leaning back in his chair to enjoy the upcoming spectacle.
“What. In goodness name. Is happening here?!” Maura demanded, the fury very obvious in her tone, as she released the other M.E. with a firm yank to his abused ear. “I am the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, have been a leading expert in forensic pathology for many years, and I will not tolerate some two-bit, wannabe hack of a doctor who never even finished his degree, come into my workplace to insult my work, my intelligence and my staff!” Even Jane took a slight step back at her wife’s tone. “On. My. Day. Off!” The doctor tacked on for further emphasis, poking the supposed medical examiner on his chest repeatedly.
The other detective quickly stepped in front of his colleague, hands raised in a placating gesture. “I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding, Doctor…?”
“Isles.” The woman turned her vicious gaze on the man, clearly unimpressed.
“Dr. Isles…” He nodded, smiling condescendingly. “As I said, I’m sure you misunderstood-”
“Romano, shut up and don’t take that tone with her.” Jane quickly interrupted, taking a half-step in front of her wife.
“You shut up, Rizzoli!” He hissed at the brunette woman. “Back the fuck off, you women have already messed this up enough!”
“Excuse me?!” Maura’s affronted tone was deadly. The people in the room froze and stared wide-eyed.
“Hey!” Sarah shouted indignantly with another foot stomp. “Loads bad wowds! No bad wowds!!”
Maura blinked and looked down at her daughter, frowning under her baseball cap. Kenzie watched in trepidation as her adoptive mother’s head rose back up very slowly to look at the Mesquite detective, a frightening unreadable look on her face.
“I’m sorry. Have you been spewing obscenities in front of my two-year-old daughter?” She asked menacingly. There was absolute silence in the room, and no-one dared move a single muscle.
The detective gulped, but before he could even open his mouth, Maura raised a single finger, instantly freezing him in place. “Jane.” She called, the brunette turning to look at her wife wide-eyed. “Give Mackenzie a twenty and don’t let Sarah hear the offensive words I will be using with this gentleman.” Jane reached into her back pocket for her wallet and took out the requested money, which she waved over her shoulder in the general direction of her eldest daughter. (Kenzie all but flew forward to grab it.) “I will be right back.” The doctor extended an arm toward the bullpen door, “Out there. Now.” The two men glanced at each other and then nearly tripped over each other to comply. Maura followed on her deadly heels and slammed the door shut behind herself.
There were about three seconds of silence until Sarah stomped her foot again and looked up at her mother in annoyance. “Mama!” She called. “Loads bad wowds!” She pouted. “Mean!”
There was a round of nervous laughter and quiet snickers, as the tension diffused, and people pretended to have no interest in what was occurring in the hallway.
Jane shook her head, trying to ignore the muffled yelling she could hear coming from outside the bullpen, and picked up her pouting daughter. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t like it either and those are not good words to repeat. It was very mean.”
“Yes!” Her daughter agreed, angrily hitting her small fist on the woman’s shoulder. “Momma says, no bad wowds!”
Jane nodded gravely. “Which is why we have the swear jar as punishment for when someone says a mean or bad word.”
Sarah’s frown evaporated and a mischievous smile took over her little face. “Mama. Man said loads bad wowds! So, loads of dollaws!!” She eagerly patted at her mother’s face. “Mowe dinos!”
Kenzie snorted and Korsak chocked on his snack with a guffaw. Frost started laughing and the other remaining detectives hollered in amusement the background.
“Oh my god, Sarah… You’re a menace!” Jane muttered, shaking her head fondly.
“No Mama! I cute!” The little girl declared seriously and then smiled wide, when more laughter followed.
Just then, the door slammed open again and Maura walked back in, an eerily pleasant smile on her face. Everyone peered out the door, where the out-of-state detective and medical examiner stood red-faced and rubbing their abused chests and ears, and then turned to look back at their medical examiner expectantly.
“Now then. Sarah, Detective Romano apologizes for his appalling vocabulary and is more than happy to provide compensation for the many bad words he used…” Frost saw the man in question raise his head in indignation, but Maura’s, preemptive and very pointed, look over her shoulder stopped him in his tracks. “And mister Craig…” No one missed the emphasis on the word ‘mister’ “… will be apologizing to my staff and vacating the premises, before I feel inclined to demonstrate the correct usage of the bone saw.”
There was a low whistle, to which Maura raised an eyebrow and smirked at the room at large, before she turned back to her young daughter and asked how many dollars she was owed.
The little girl giggled and replied, “Loads!”
Maura chuckled and looked to Jane, who just shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. “I honestly don’t know…”
“Here!” Kenzie ripped a sheet out of the notepad on Jane’s desk, where she had taken the liberty of jotting down the many infractions and summing up the total, and held it out to her blonde mother. “Sarah, very indignantly, but also very helpfully, kept announcing the cost of the infractions, so the total is fifty-two dollars.”
The doctor took the offered paper and moved to the door to collect the owed payment. Detective Romano opened his mouth, but Maura threw him another menacing look, “Do protest, detective. I dare you.”
The man swallowed convulsively, hastily fished out a number of bills out of his wallet and handed them over, and then quickly vacated the premises without another word.
There was a loud wolf-whistle from the bullpen, followed by loud cheering and clapping. Maura walked back to her family to place the bills in a grinning Sarah’s grabby hands and chuckled at the loud praises.
“Rizzoli!” Detective Henderson called from his desk, amidst the laughter. “Your wife is totally badass- crap!” He slapped a hand over his mouth at his mistake.
Sarah gasped, crumpled bills still in one tiny fist and a commanding pointed finger at the detective. “Bad wowd! Two dollaws!”
“Detective Henderson, I appreciate the sentiment, but please control yourself.” Maura smirked his way. His colleagues howled in laughter at his blunder.
Henderson nodded vigorously. “Yes, Dr. Isles! Sorry, Dr. Isles!” He quickly grabbed his wallet and walked over to the grinning little girl still in her mother’s arms and presented two one-dollar bills. “I am very sorry, little miss. Here you go!”
Sarah grabbed the two bills with a giggle and a sweet little ‘ ’tank you!’
Jane snorted. “Henderson, for chrissakes, don’t look so scared!”
The man grinned toothily. “Are you kidding, Rizzoli? The Doc called the other M.E. a ‘two-bit, wannabe hack of a doctor’ and she knows how to use a scalpel, I ain’t messing with her.” He threw a friendly wink at the doctor. “And, no offense Doc, but your mini-me is a tiny hustler! She’s gotten nearly a hundred bucks out of a bunch of adults, including yourself, by looking cutely affronted. She’s got skills!”
Maura laughed good-naturedly. “Thank you, Detective Henderson. I take all the credit.”
“Oh, come on!” Jane groused, to everyone’s continued laughter. “I’ve got hustling skills too!”
“Oh please Rizzoli, look at that cute, little face!” Henderson crowed jovially, gently poking a finger into Sarah’s cheek and earning himself more giggles. “This ain’t you. You’re a grump on your best days and everyone knows to stay away right from the start, but this cute, innocent-looking face is deceiving; she’ll draw you in and then bam! She’ll empty out your wallet because you can’t stand the disapproving look on her face. Or! Threaten to stab you with a scalpel, with the most pleasant of looks, just like the Doc did.”
There was more all-around laughter, Jane grumbling amusedly to herself.
“Here, Jane, have a donut!” Kenzie cheekily shoved a chocolate covered treat at her mother in exchange for her babbling little sister. The detective hissed at her but passed her daughter over, grabbed the donut and took a hearty bite, playfully shoving at Henderson who was still laughing at her expense as he walked away to the coffee maker.
Sarah gasped and patted at her sister’s shoulders from her new perch. “Kennie, down pwease!” Once on her feet, the little girl held out her fist of bills to her older sister “Hold, pwease!” She then reached for the box of donuts on Jane’s desk and moved to Frost’s side with her precious cargo in hand.
“Hi, Unca Bawy! Donut?” She asked with a grin, holding out the box to the chuckling man.
“Why thank you, Sarah, I will accept the donut.” He chose the one covered in white chocolate and colorful sprinkles, knowing Korsak preferred donuts with less icing on them and leaving the less sugary, strawberry jelly-filled donut for him. “I also like your dino cap.” He added with a grin and a small flick to the black baseball cap on her head.
The little girl beamed widely and gave him a loud kiss on his cheek, then skipped to Korsak’s desk to offer him the last donut in the box. The older man happily picked up his niece and settled her, box and all, in his lap to share the donut with her.
“Well, all in all, it’s not been the worst day off you’ve had…” Kenzie commented, standing next to her two mothers by Jane’s desk and neatly folding the bills from her sister’s haul and placing them in her wallet for later use. “We’ve learnt that Maura is totally badass and can scare grown men into a puddle of sniveling goo and Sarah’s a tiny hustler when it comes to policing swear words and collecting money for her dinosaur obsession. I call this a day off well spent.” She grinned at her mothers.
Jane snorted. “This is not what I had envisioned for today…” She shrugged and threw an arm around her wife. “However, it was worth it just for the spectacle. By the way, that was totally hot.” She wiggled an eyebrow at Maura, who chuckled and slapped at the arm sneaking around her waist toward her backside.
“Not in front of the children, Jane.” She admonished playfully, wrapping her arms over the taller woman’s shoulders and leaning up to kiss her.
Kenzie rolled her eyes expressively, snatched up Sarah’s dinosaur goodie bag and simply walked away to join Korsak and her sister in their perusal of cute cat videos, while Frost threw a balled-up napkin at the back of his busy partner’s head and told her to find another, more private, room to love up her wife.
Maura pulled back from the kiss to smirk playfully at Frost. “That is a most excellent idea, Detective Frost.” She snatched up Jane’s hand. “Come along, Jane.” The detective barely managed to grab her hoodie she’d thrown over the back of her chair, as she was dragged away. “Mackenzie, Sarah we are leaving. I will not spend a minute more of my day off at work.” The woman called as she walked past Korsak’s desk and out the door, followed by another wolf-whistle and amused laughter from the detectives milling about.
Kenzie rolled her eyes again, threw her giggling sister over her shoulder after she’d given Korsak a sticky kiss on the cheek, and trailed after her mothers, waving goodbye to a chuckling Frost and Korsak.