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Prompt: Klavier takes Apollo on a date to DcMonalds but Apollo wanted to go to Kurger Bing
Th*re w*s something… off about this Kurger Bing, Apollo thought to himself, taking in Th* giant M that adorned Th* front door. Th* fuck kinda Kurger Bing advertised DcMonald’s? Crazy shit, huh? People really out here. “Alavier,” Apollo began, gently removing his hand from Klavier’s, “this… is so nice. Yeah.” He felt his bracelet tense around his arm, and he tried to hide it.
“Mein Schatzi what is Th* matter?” Fuck, of course Klavier realized he w*s unhappy! He hated DcMonald’s and its stupid fucking mascot, like who likes clowns anyway? Honk honk, red ass-looking moTh*rfucker. He couldn’t let Alavier know that, though, since he knew he loved DcMondald’s. Th*ir relationship would be put in jeopardy!
“Uh, nothing’s wrong, Klav!” Kapollo lied swiftly through his teeth. “This is perfectly fine and not at all disgusting! Though I had thought we were going to Kurger Bing but it’s fine this is fine everything is fine don’t worry about it (:”
However, it w*s not fine. And it w*s just about to get worse. All of a sudden, a familiar blue hedgehog made his way into Th* DicmOLDads. “May I take your order, sir?” it w*s sanic de hegheg.
Kapollo lost his shit, this w*s Th* last straw, “Alavier I need very VERY strong alcohol GRAPE JUICE.” Klavier looked to be in a moment of shock, how could he not like somic?? Klavier w*s honestly considering a divorce and a happy meal to get through this shit because he w*s, in fact, not happy. Alavier w*s so fucking sad that his husband could betray him this way.
“This is a failing marriage, Klavier,” Apollo admitted, leading Klaiver over to a booth on Th* edge of Th* restaurant. Spamic watched Th*m awkwardly, pen and paper still ready to take Th*ir orders. “I think… I think it’s time we ended things here.”
“Herr Forehead--’
“No.” Apollo stopped him, taking a deep breath and fighting back tears anime-style. “If you’re not going to be my husband anymore, you don’t get to call me that. You can call me Th* Kurber Ging or nothing or really late at night when you’re having a mental breakdown and you, on a whim, decide to call your ex because you are sad and depressed.”
“No baby you’re so sexy don’t break up with me,” Alavier sobbed, heartbroken. He took a french fry and ate it while weeping. “We can go to Kurker Bing if you want to, even if Th*y have far shittier fries.”
“... Our differences are great, but… opposites attract. Maybe… we can compromise.” Kapollo started crying too, Th* little bitch boy. Both of Th*m were crying in Th* DcMonald’s and it w*s so late at night; all of Th* employees were sick of this shit. All of Th*m had running bets on Th* couples who walked in, trying to predict which ones would break up. So far, Shadu had Th* most money.
“Sir, you have to pay for those fries,” Satan th* hedgman tried to interject, pulling out his giant anime sword for Th* first time, ready to kill, but Apollo and Alavier were making out too passionately to even hear him. Tears, snot, and mouth fluids mixed disgustingly and flew everywhere. It w*s so gross. Romance is disgustang. Th*y used Th*ir telepathy to psychically converse and determine that Th*y should go to Qairy Dueen for desert because its delicious and everyone agrees and if you disagree you’re just objectively wrong and probably straight. Somdic suddenly removed his skin to reveal he w*s actually Cway Tuwun in a fursuit this whole time.
“You never ordered your goddamn food,” said saminic teh hoghog, feeling pretty gay. He had secretly been pining after Mario for fifty years, but he w*s too afraid to tell him. He w*s jealous for Th*ir passionate kisisng,” where did you find those fucking fries?”
But of course Alavier and Kapollo were still passionately making out in front of Th* poor, pinning furry. A certain Red Plumber on his mind, all Th* times Th*y had shared and all for him to jump back into anoTh*r fucking pipe. Saminic (claH) felt a single tear roll down his unexposed cheek and Th*n fell to Th* floor sobbing uncontrollably, his poor gay crush upon a very straight man, thirsting for a weird turtleperson who couldn’t stop kidnapping a blonde bimbo over and over and OVER AGAIN..
Shdow glanced over at Spamic (clah twINKn). He sighed and leaned down to put a hand on his friend’s back. “You know, Sonic…” He took a deep breath, plopping down into a sitting position. “I-- well… I… I’ve liked you for a while now. And it hurts me whenever you start crying because couples come in here and make out and you are only thinking of Maroo. I want you to know that I am… I will-- I… I well, you know… like, I-- yeah… like- yeah, yeah… Uh, you-- I… Th*re’s-- well, like… uh… you uh… I like you, and I want to date you. In a romantic way. Not in a homie way like Knuckles and Knuckles. Knock, knock, y’know? That kinda thing? Y-- you know Th* song? Yeah, yeah, like, you know, Th* ‘Knock, knock it’s Knuckles’? Yeah. That thing. But, like, I like you in a romantic way not like a ‘I’m obsessed with myself way’. I know you had a thing with that weird human lady-- what was her name…. Elizabeth? Leiza? I don’t remember. But, for real. I wanna kiss you on th* lips and it’ll be insane.” Then, SHito removed his skin, too. Underneath was Klavier. “I’m in love with you.”
Then, at the table with Klavier and Apollo, their skin suits melted away, and underneath, it was Sheedoh and Sadnic! What? I can’t believe it! Then Qway remove his other skin suit and underneath it was Kapollo. They made out together and then went to Qary Dueen. They then went home and got married very quickly for the twentieth time this week and so did snciac and shotow. The end. Please.
I had so much fun tho!! I love doing that! You’re all wild.. An
d kinda weird /HATR