Work Text:
Fuck it. I'm making a ruleboard for the greater Dream SMP area. I don't care if I'm stepping on Dream's toes here, he needs to learn to behave too. (Besides, there's not enough land left in L'Manberg to post another ruleboard.) --Antfrost
Jack-- We're sorry that no one cares that you literally clawed your way out of Hell. That being said, having a villain arc isn't the only way to get people to take you seriously. Tying Niki to a railroad track is not nearly as evil as you think it is, considering you asked her nicely and she helped you put the ropes on.
Tommy-- Stop convincing Ranboo that he forgot that he owes you money.
Philza-- You committed countless war crimes and destroyed L'Manberg. You cannot buy our forgiveness with homemade cookies. Even if they are really good cookies.
Fundy-- "I like your cut, G" is not an exorcism prayer.
Eret-- L'Manberg was blown up with TNT, not nuclear bombs. Playing in the runoff will not give you superpowers.
Niki-- You're not allowed to start an "Arson Club" with Sapnap.
Puffy-- You are the only person on the entire server who has ever managed to shame Dream for anything . I am begging you to use this power wisely.
Technoblade-- Klingon promotion is not a thing. Murdering the president does not make you the new president, it just makes you a terrorist.
Bad-- Stop ending every sentence with "The council has spoken."
Skeppy-- I don't know what you're doing with those voodoo dolls, but I don't like it one bit.
Dream-- Hell no. Absolutely not. I don't care why you think you need a blood sample from George, the answer is no.
Sapnap-- Your request to put a tracking chip in George has been officially denied. This does not mean that you should take the initiative to do it behind our backs.
Sam-- You are not a parselmouth, and Niki's pet creeper Hissy does not want to have a conversation with you.
Quackity-- Do you have a death wish? Because posting giant billboards of your Techno-maid fanart all over the SMP is one of the dumbest forms of suicide I've ever seen.
George-- I am literally begging you to control your fanclub. Aren't you in fear for your life?!
Ranboo-- I respect your pacifistic outlook, but when someone asks if you have a plan to defend your home, "synchronized panic attacks" is not an acceptable answer.
Hbomb-- I'm very glad you've decided to take a break from the Gogy Fanclub. I am less glad that you've convinced Dream to help you make a girl-clone of yourself, so that you "can please Master twice as efficently!" Fundy has requested a restraining order.
Karl-- Yes, you look wonderful in your new crop top. However, your midriff is not going to convince anyone to marry you, so stop asking. Marriage is not the solution to all of your problems; ask Fundy.
Tubbo-- Where did you get those brass knuckles?
Wilbur-- The End is off-limits. It's impossible to light the portal, and Dream will kill you as soon as you enter the stronghold. You have no armor. You will absolutely die if, through some sort of theater kid trickery, you make it to the End. If the endermen don't kill you, the dragon will. I should not have to tell you that you can't fuck the dragon.