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“Hey man, thanks for coming to help me out. This goddamn thing is just so stubborn…” Kazuichi mumbled with a screw in his teeth as he held an oily hand out for Hajime to give him a screwdriver.
Electric Avenue had become a place on Jabberwock Island that Hajime was frequenting a lot lately. Souda always needed help building his machines, so naturally, being the guy that he is, Hajime couldn’t really refuse. However, at the moment, Hajime was merely handing him tools while Kazuichi did all the building for a new A/C system, since the weather had been getting especially hot lately, and the cottages were stuffy.
Hajime placed the screwdriver in Kazuichi’s hand. “Yeah, no problem. Sorry I can’t help you actually build the thing; I’m kind of in a predicament.”
“Yeah… speaking of your predicament… what’s with him?” Kazuichi jerked his head to the general area behind Hajime.
Hajime sighed, and turned his head to look at what Kazuichi had gestured at. There, he found something, or someone, that came to him as no surprise.
Izuru Kamukura, Hajime’s newfound companion, with his arms encircled around Hajime’s waist and his head resting on his right shoulder, staring with listless red eyes at the tools in front of Hajime and paying no mind to his conversation with Kazuichi.
Hajime turned back to Kazuichi with an apologetic smile. “I’ll…. tell you later.” He doubted that he could hurt Izuru’s practically nonexistent feelings, but he felt it would be best nonetheless to talk about it when he wasn’t sitting right there.
Kazuichi gave him a curious look, but continued tinkering with his machines in silence.
-
“Hey, Izuru. I need to have a conversation with Kazuichi for a while. Why don’t you go see what Nagito is up to?” Hajime asked, looking behind himself at Izuru and gently pushing at Izuru’s hands, which were currently still around his waist.
Izuru let go of Hajime and nodded. Hajime stared at the emotionless man’s back as he trudged away towards Nagito’s cottage. Other than Hajime, Nagito was the only other person on the island who Izuru trusted and cared to hang out with. Hajime was glad for that, since his boyfriend seemed to have a knack for entertaining Izuru’s boredom. Often, he had seen Nagito braiding Izuru’s long raven hair, telling him all sorts of stories about his childhood (the better parts of it, anyway, accompanied with the occasional lecture about hope’s triumph over despair), and Izuru never seemed to mind.
Hajime smiled. Both Nagito and Izuru seemed to benefit from each other’s presence. It was nice to see.
Hajime was pulled out of his thoughts by Kazuichi grabbing him by the sleeve and dragging him up to the hotel’s dining hall. Once they were alone, Kazuichi turned to Hajime and tapped his foot with a raised eyebrow.
“So… what’s with that guy? He’s always around you, man! It’s almost like he’s a kid. He has his talents, right? So why is he so dependent on you? Not only that, he freaks me the hell out! His long ass hair makes him look creepy, and I feel like his stare could probably burn a hole in me!” Kazuichi gestured wildly as he spoke, exaggerating every movement.
Hajime sighed, and decided to tell Kazuichi everything.
Ever since they had woken up from the simulation and discovered that he and Izuru Kamukura could separate into two different people and re-fuse into one, Izuru had become a little… attached, to Hajime, to say the least. Every moment that they weren’t fused, Izuru had taken to clinging to Hajime, whether that was holding his hand wherever he went, or even hugging him from behind as Hajime went about his daily business.
Hajime knew that it was probably because when they fused, not only was Hajime able to utilize Izuru’s talents, Izuru was able to feel all of the emotions that Hajime felt. He was no longer bored, he could feel happy, sad, angry, protective, and he just overall felt more… alive. Izuru would never admit it, and Hajime could never read his mind through his blood-red eyes, but whenever they fused, Hajime could sense Izuru’s joy at being able to feel something. Hajime wanted to fuse more often since it made Izuru happy, but at the same time, he also liked being his own person without the artificial talents, and they never really had a logical reason to fuse. Thus, most of the time, they spent their days as two separate people.
While Hajime found Izuru’s clinginess to be endearing, and while he did feel responsible for Izuru’s safety (he was the one who agreed to the Kamukura Project that brought his existence, after all), Izuru’s behavior tended to create… awkward situations.
Take that one time Nagito and Hajime were having breakfast across from each other in the dining hall, for example. Nagito had been telling Hajime stories about Clover, his old white dog, when suddenly he stopped talking, and his gaze had traveled behind Hajime. Hajime had looked at Nagito in confusion, since Nagito never stopped chattering when he was reminiscing about his dog, and his talk had been very endearing. Suddenly, before Hajime knew it, Izuru was sitting in Hajime’s lap with his arms wrapped around his neck and his head on his shoulder, gazing directly at the area behind Hajime. For the rest of the morning, while Nagito and Hajime ate breakfast, Izuru had stared at anyone who dared approach Hajime from behind (Hajime could have sworn he hissed at Hiyoko at one point), effectively scaring his classmates off from having any sort of civil conversation with him.
“Oh, don’t worry about it, Hajime! I find it really adorable,” Nagito had laughed later after Hajime profusely apologized to him for the interruption. “You really are his hope.”
And take that one time Nagito and Hajime had been sleeping together in the lucky student’s cottage. The evening had been heartwarming; Hajime really enjoyed having someone to cuddle with to sleep, and it was the best sleep he had gotten in a long while. Being able to wrap his arms around Nagito and pull him into his chest had made Hajime feel really happy, like he could protect his boyfriend as long as he was in his arms.
Except… the next morning, when Hajime woke up, he had felt a third presence behind him in the bed. He turned and almost had a heart attack when he found a pair of red eyes staring back at him, and a second pair of arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
“... Good morning, Hajime.” Izuru had casually greeted him, seemingly unaware of Hajime’s pure shock at seeing him. “What shall we eat for breakfast?”
From that day forward, Hajime and Nagito both agreed (albeit with Nagito trying not to laugh at Hajime’s exasperation) that Hajime would have to sleep in his own cottage, so that Izuru could sleep with him in his bed without scaring the lights out of him.
As Hajime relayed all of these details to Kazuichi (without all the cheesy details about Nagito, because that was too much information), Kazuichi’s expression only seemed to grow more and more weirded out.
“Dude… you need to get him off your back. Even if he can’t feel anything, he can’t just cling to you all the time!”
Hajime sighed for the third time that day. “I feel like I shouldn’t, though. My decisions are why he’s here, after all. I feel like I should be watching him.”
Kazuichi rolled his eyes. “Okay, Mr. Dadjime, he’s not your child.”
“Dadjime?” Hajime raised an eyebrow.
“That’s not important. My point here is that he’s definitely able to be on his own, he just doesn’t realize it. Why don’t you try asking some of our friends to hang out with him? I’m sure Miss Sonia would find a way to entertain him while you’re busy, and who knows, maybe eventually, he won’t be constantly hanging on to you anymore.”
Hajime pondered it. After a moment, he replied, “Maybe. I’ll give it a shot. Maybe it’ll work. Thanks, Kazuichi.”
-
It, in fact, did not work.
Hajime had tried leaving Izuru with every single person on the island. He’d left Izuru with Sonia, who told him the wondrous tales of Novoselic and took him to the library to read books on the occult with her over some tea. He’d asked Gundham to hang out with him, since Gundham could relate to Izuru’s dark demeanor; the Ultimate Breeder had let Izuru hold his Dark Devas of Destruction, boasting about his supposed experiences in “the deepest and darkest pits of of Pandaemonium” and promising to take Izuru there someday, as his “dark aura” would certainly fit in. He’d arranged for him to meet Mahiru for a photoshoot by the beach, and she’d gotten some pretty amazing shots of him using his Ultimate Modeler talent, despite his inability to give the camera a genuine smile. He’d left him with Akane and Nekomaru, who always challenged Izuru to a 2-1 wrestling match (spoiler alert: Izuru always took them down without a second thought).
He’d even left him with Hiyoko of all people, who had tried to get Izuru to rip a string of curse words and insults at a meek Mikan to no avail (“Ugh, it’s like he has a stick up his ass or something!” Hiyoko had complained to Hajime).
Yet, each of these times, even if Hajime was on an entirely different part of the island, Izuru would always leave his designated companion for the day and manage to find him, walking up to his side and taking his hand in silence.
As Hajime stood alone on the beach pondering what else he could do, he groaned and put his hand on his forehead. Maybe he should go find Izuru and try to have a conversation with him about it. Though, knowing Izuru, he’d probably find Hajime within the next few minutes.
Sure enough, Hajime soon heard soft footsteps coming up behind him. He turned to find Izuru approaching him, a completely deadpan stare on his face. Except this time, Izuru stopped a small distance away from him.
“Are you avoiding me?”
Hajime blinked. Izuru continued to stare at him, betraying no semblance of emotion on his face. No sound could be heard except the seagulls calling in the distance, and the whoosh of the waves. By now, the sun had already begun setting in the distance, the wind beginning to get a little chilly.
Izuru said nothing else, waiting for Hajime’s response with an expectant look.
“I’m not avoiding you, Izuru. I…” Hajime sighed, walking up to Izuru and closing the distance himself. “Sorry if it seemed that way. It’s just… you’ve become really attached to me, these days. I get that it’s because we’re connected by talents and emotions and all, and I’m flattered that you enjoy being around me of all people, but… I won’t always be there. I can’t just always be holding your hand, and you can’t just always be clinging onto me.” Hajime took Izuru’s cold hands into his own and leveled him with a serious gaze. “You’re fully capable of being on your own, even if it’s just for a little bit. Trust me. I’m not even fully sure why you’re so dependent on me, with all of those talents at your disposal.”
Izuru looked down at their hands, then looked back up at Hajime’s face. Again, there was that deadpan stare. “... I am bored. You of all people know this, Hajime. I desire emotion, the way we feel when we fuse. Somehow, it brings me that emotion of joy. If being with you is the only way I can achieve that, then so be it. Talent means nothing to me in comparison.”
Before his next words, Izuru looked away, staring off into the distance. “Besides… I owe you protection. For all I have done to wreck both your classmates’ and the world’s lives. I cannot protect you if I am not near you.”
Hajime processed his words in silence, digging his feet into the sand. Izuru’s hands had begun to feel warm in his grasp. Izuru seemed content to stand in silence as well, letting Hajime think over what to say next.
Hajime had known already that Izuru wanted to feel emotions, like everyone else did. However, he hadn’t known that Izuru felt like he owed him something.
After a minute or so, Hajime spoke.
“I forgave you a long time ago, you know.”
Izuru looked up. For the first time, Hajime thought he saw slight curiosity and confusion in the other’s eyes. “Forgave?”
Hajime smiled. “Yeah. For starting the killing game.” Hajime began to gently swing their hands back and forth, perhaps in an effort to amuse Izuru. “You felt like you had to, in order to chase off your boredom. Junko Enoshima forced you into thinking that despair was the only way to go. It wasn’t your fault that Junko had found you… or rather, us, at the wrong time.”
Hajime stopped swinging their hands. Suddenly, he felt like he should do something more.
He stepped even closer and pulled Izuru into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.
“Also… it’s because of my decisions that we ended up this way. Split into emotion and talent. So… I owe you something too. I’m sorry,” Hajime whispered, tightening his hold on Izuru.
Izuru was rigid; he probably wasn’t used to receiving this kind of affection from anybody, despite all of his efforts to cling to Hajime. Yet, Hajime felt him slowly raise his arms up to wrap them around Hajime in turn.
He didn’t say anything, but Hajime felt like if Izuru could feel emotion, he may have been feeling warm gratitude. Happiness, perhaps? Hajime felt himself smile at the thought. Who was he kidding.
After a few minutes of enjoying each other’s presence, Hajime extricated himself from Izuru and looked at him with a fond expression. “With that out of the way, we do still need to resolve the attachment issue, though… you really, really want to feel, right?”
Izuru nodded. “Yes.” Hajime could have sworn he saw a flash of eagerness in Izuru’s eyes, though it was probably just his imagination.
“What if… we fused more often? I know we haven’t done it in a while, and we don’t really have a need to do it, since we’re not going to be fighting anybody for a while, but… what if we fused for a while every day? That way, we can go about our business together, and you don’t have to be holding onto me anymore.”
Izuru pondered this, tilting his head at Hajime. “We’d fuse… purely for no logical reason at all? I thought you preferred being separated.”
Hajime laughed. “Well, technically, I guess our reasoning would be so that you can feel emotions more often, and I can… feel what it’s like to have talent? I guess. This is mainly for you, though. We wouldn’t be fused all the time; I’d still like to be my own person and hang out with my friends as purely me. But during that time, you wouldn’t need to follow me, since you know you’ll always be able to feel again the next day.”
Izuru nodded, seemingly having come to a conclusion. “Ah, I see. I suppose as Kazuichi Souda would put it, ‘It’s for shits and giggles.’”
Hajime blinked and stared at Izuru for a second, analyzing the past few seconds to see if it was real, and he hadn’t been hallucinating. When he realized he had in fact not been hallucinating, he burst out laughing and doubled over, clutching his stomach. Izuru hit him with another deadpan stare as Hajime tried to keep himself from hitting the ground altogether.
“I… I thought Sonia cursing was already funny enough, but coming from you, it’s even better!” Hajime regained his composure, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “You have to do that in front of Hiyoko. I think she’d go ballistic.”
Izuru continued to stare at him, not amused in the slightest. Hajime chuckled at Izuru’s silence.
“Well, while we’re at it… why don’t we fuse right now?”
Izuru tensed up, and his eyes widened, seeming to glow a brighter red than before. The ends of his hair began to spark and rise in excitement.
“Fuse… right now?” Hajime had never seen Izuru look so excited in his life.
“Right now.” Izuru nodded and stepped forward, his hair going a little out of control at this point. Hajime stepped forward and hugged Izuru again, except this time, for a different reason.
He closed his eyes, and the air filled with a strong whooshing sound, like a tornado had descended upon them, and they were standing together in the eye of the storm.
When Hajime opened his eyes again, he felt different, and he was standing alone, which let him know for sure that the fusion had worked. He looked down at his body to examine himself. He seemed to be wearing Izuru’s suit, except his usual black tie was replaced with Hajime’s unique green one. His hair was black, yet it was still short, and his ahoge was a little curvier than before. He knew that if he looked in a mirror, he would be met with a heterochromic pair of eyes: one a soft green, and one a bright red.
What was even stranger about the fusion, though, the part that Hajime could never get used to, was that he wasn’t alone in his head. While he was undeniably thinking properly, some of his thoughts were his, and yet not his at the same time.
… it seems that it worked. Hajime thought. Except, he somehow knew that Izuru was the one who had thought that. It’s just that he and Izuru were one person now.
Hajime shook his head. There was no use dwelling over something so confusing. He ran his hands (which now felt a little stronger) through his hair, smiling to himself, feeling satisfaction as he realized that Izuru was experiencing the same emotions he was.
He felt… complete. And he knew Izuru felt it too.