Work Text:
Buck watched yet again as the trucks left the ladder house without him. He’d been back on the job for two weeks now and Bobby was yet to allow him on a call. He hadn’t expected a warm welcome (hoped wasn’t the same as expected) but the level of animosity towards him was beyond anything that he could have dreamed up.
His own team weren’t too bad if he were honest. Bobby wasn’t allowing him to actually do anything and he was rather cool towards him, but Buck knew that that was because he’d hurt Bobby’s feelings. He knew that actually suing Bobby himself had been a low blow but he’d hoped that such a desperate measure would have convinced Bobby how desperate Buck was to get back to work. Bobby had made it clear that the Chief may have been allowing Buck back so avoid a scandal but it was on his terms and Buck would suffer to begin with. It stung but Buck was willing to do whatever he had to do to prove that he could do this job. If that meant that all he did was wash the trucks and answer the phone, well so be it. He’d prove that he was worthy no matter what. Eventually Bobby would forgive him and they could go back to the almost father/son relationship that they’d shared previously.
Hen had bought him a cupcake and had welcomed him back with open arms, and her acceptance had meant everything to him. Chim was polite but Buck knew that he simply expected him to suck it up and deal with it. He also knew that Chim hadn’t had the best experience when he’d first started with the 118 so he’d hoped to find some empathy from him but it seemed it wasn’t to be.
Then there was Eddie, who was still pretending like Buck didn't exist. He wasn’t being cruel or a bully, he was simply ignoring him completely. Buck almost wished that he was being a dick because at least then he’d know that Eddie felt something for him but it was like Buck was a ghost. He didn’t like to dwell too much on why it meant so much to him to have Eddie thinking of him or why it hurt so much that he wasn’t, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he felt a physical ache in his chest whenever he watched Eddie turn away from him.
No, the problem wasn’t his actual team but the other firefighters at the 118. Many of them were just ignoring him or simply glaring whenever he came near but others were much worse. Hehir and Ross threw insults at him under their breath whenever he walked past and he’d caught them pouring honey in his locker, no doubt to attract the ants that they always struggled with at the station. Munroe and Samuels were by the far the worst however as they had progressed from verbally abusing him to getting physical. At first it had been simply them pushing roughly past him, their shoulders slamming against his and twice they’d stuck out a foot and tripped him up. Just in the last week it had begun to escalate with Munroe shoving him so hard that he had face planted and Samuels had ‘accidentally’ spilled his coffee on Buck, causing a nasty burn.
Buck hadn’t said anything, not wanting to make things worse for himself. Although Bobby himself wasn’t actually bullying him, the way that he was acting towards Buck had left the door open for others to do so and the last thing that Buck wanted to do was to make waves when his position was precarious enough. He’d gone through his fair share of hazing during his SEALS training, he could wait until this all blew over. He just had to be patient.
And so he watched as his team left once again without him, allowing himself one moment of pity, then he pushed his shoulders back and decided to get to work. He had been assigned inventory today and he hoped to get it done before they got back. Maybe then he could join in when they re-stocked and cleaned the truck. It was still menial work but at least it would be with his team.
Buck headed for the stock room and soon lost himself in counts of bandages, gauze, and alcohol swabs. He sat on a low step stool and scribbled the counts down on a scrap piece of paper so he could copy the final tallies neatly into the stock book. He’d just reached for a box of saline wash when the door behind him opened and he heard two people enter the room.
“Well, well, well, look who it is,” Samuels sneered.
“If it isn’t the traitor himself,” Munroe said.
Buck decided to ignore them and turned back to his work, hoping that they’d get the supplies they had come for and leave without verbally assaulting him too much.
Unfortunately, neither man appreciated being ignored.
Buck felt a hand grip his shoulder and he flailed as he was wrenched backwards. He felt his head smack against a belt buckle and he looked up to see Munroe standing over him, glaring down at him. He felt a cold shiver run up his spine from having the man at his back and he tried to twist away but Munroe changed his grip, getting a hold of Buck under his armpits. He yanked Buck backwards, pulling him off the foot stool, his feet struggling for purchase on the ground. “What the fuck,” he cried, managing to got his feet under him but unable to break free.
“We think it’s about time that you were taught a lesson,” Samuels said, moving in close to Buck and jabbing him in the chest with his finger.
“Actions have consequences, Buckley,” Munroe spat, his breath hot in Buck’s ear. “You need to understand that.”
Buck saw Samuels’ arm pull back and he had time to tighten his abs before the punch hit. It still managed to wind him though but before he had time to take a breath, Samuels was hitting him again and again. The blows rained down over his stomach and diaphragm, pain and heat blooming in their wake. He wasn’t sure how long it had been when Munroe let go of his arms suddenly, causing him to slump onto the floor. If Buck had hoped that his ordeal was over, he was terribly mistaken. Munroe hadn’t released him because they were finished - he’d simply wanted in on the action himself.
They used their feet now, kicking Buck brutally in the ribs and gut. As he flinched back from a particularly brutal kick to his solar plexus, another caught him in the face and a crack rang out in the small storage room as his nose broke. It was then that Buck knew that this wasn’t going to end well and he curled himself into a ball, trying to protect his head and core, ignoring the blood that poured down over his mouth and chin.
“You like this, Buckley?” Munroe sneered. “This is how it feels to be betrayed by a brother.” His boot connected with a kidney and Buck cried out in pain.
Samuels reached down and yanked Buck up by his shirt, his head lolling to the side, completely defenceless. “Tomorrow, you’re going to hand in your resignation, effective immediately,” he growled. “There’s no place here for someone like you.” He shoved Buck away from him and he staggered backwards before losing his balance completely. Buck fell against the shelving unit and pain lanced through his skull as his head hit the corner of a shelf. Just before darkness took him he saw the two men standing above him, expressions of smug satisfaction on their faces.
Exhaustion settled over Eddie as he rolled up the hose and he knew that he wasn’t doing a good enough job of it. It had to be unraveled and checked when they got back to the station anyway but that was no excuse for sloppy work. He found that he simply didn't have the energy right now to care and as soon as it was done he pulled himself into the truck and slumped against the seat.
Hen soon joined him, looking just as tired. “I hate being a man down,” she said, her eyes falling closed as she leaned her head back.
Eddie grunted in agreeance but didn't say anything. Because Buck was back, Bosko had returned to her normal firehouse but as Bobby wasn't allowing Buck out on jobs with them, they were still short. As upset as Eddie was with Buck, he was surprised that the Cap was allowing his personal feelings to affect the job so much. In the past week alone, Eddie had had several close calls, all of which could have been prevented if Buck was there.
Hen seemed to be reading his mind. “Today could have turned out a lot worse,” she said.
Eddie grunted again, trying not to think about the ceiling that had collapsed, almost trapping him in the flames.
“Eddie, look, I know you’re upset with Buck but this has gone on long enough.”
He raised a brow in her direction. “What does that have to do with anything? In case you missed it, Bobby is the one not letting him come out with us.”
Hen sighed. “I know that, but we have to talk to him, convince him to let Buck do the job that he fought so hard to get back to.”
Even hearing the lawsuit mentioned so abstractly made Eddie’s blood boil. He was still so angry at Buck, the man who was supposed to be his best friend. The man who had abandoned him when he needed him most, when Christopher needed him most. He was also angry at Bobby for not putting on his big boy pants and simply talking to Buck before he decided to prevent him from returning to work out of worry. He was also angry at himself, just for being so damn angry all the time. He’d called Buck exhausting (oh and how he regretted that immediately, the way Buck’s face had crumpled) but he himself was more exhausting than Buck could ever be and he had no one to blame for that than himself. “I don’t see why he’d listen to me,” he said, rather sullenly in response to Hen.
“Because it’s your ass on the line when we go to a job a man down. It’s your partner who is missing. That’s why he needs to damn well listen to you.”
Eddie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. If he was completely honest with himself he just wanted to get back to normal. The fighting had long ceased to be an outlet for his anger and now seemed to only fuel it, and he knew that it was not only starting to affect his work but also his home life. Only yesterday Chris had asked how he got yet another bruise and had seemed skeptical when Eddie had lied about getting it on a job. Christopher was a smart kid - he recognised that for some reason his dad was getting ‘injured at work’ a lot more than he ever used to. The lies would soon not be enough and frankly, Eddie was sick of lying to his kid.
Deep down he knew that if Buck had been around then his anger would never have escalated to the point it was at now. He’d still be having issues, but he just knew that they wouldn't be so bad. Buck had a way of sneaking his way in under all of Eddie’s walls, of worming his way into his heart. And he was the best person besides Christopher at diffusing Eddie’s stress. If they’d been able to hang out then his anger would likely have died a quiet death by now and although he couldn’t go back in time, Eddie could do things differently now. It was time to set aside his grievances and stop ostracising Buck from the Diaz family. It was time to bring him home.
Eddie nodded at Hen. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll talk to Bobby when we get back to the station.”
True to his word, as soon as the truck pulled back into the ladder house, Eddie caught Bobby’s attention “You got a minute, Cap?”
Bobby nodded. “Sure. I had a missed call from the Chief while we were out so I gotta call him back but I shouldn’t be long.”
Eddie nodded and caught Hen’s small smile of approval before she joined Chimney in getting out of their turnout gear. Eddie started to check over the hoses and looked around for Buck whilst unraveling them, wondering where he was but he couldn’t see him. The only people he saw anywhere in the station were Munroe and Samuels who were coming out of the medical supply storeroom.
“Diaz,” Munroe greeted him, slapping him on the shoulder. “How you doing, brother?”
Eddie shrugged. “Can’t complain.”
“Yeah, no one listens anyway,” Samuels said with a grin.
“Don’t you know it,” Eddie agreed.
“Tough call?” Munroe asked, his eyes taking in the sooty smudges covering Eddie’s jacket.
He sighed. “Yeah, a bit. Could have used some backup if I’m honest. I almost didn't make it out when the ceiling collapsed.”
“Ouch,” Samuels said with a wince. “Those can be nasty.”
Eddie was about to reply when he heard Bobby call from above, “Diaz, come on up.”
“You being called to the principal’s office?” Samuels teased.
Eddie laughed. “Something like that. Gotta have a chat to the Cap about Buck.”
Samuels huffed. “I wouldn’t waste my time on that scum.”
Eddie frowned but didn’t say anything, not wanting to get into a punch up when Bobby was literally watching him. Before he could say anything though, Munroe said, “Don’t worry about Buckley, he’s taken care of.”
“What do you me -”
“Sometime today would be nice, Eddie,” Bobby called, cutting him off.
“Right, sorry, Cap, I’m comin’,” Eddie called back and with one last odd glance at the two firefighters, jogged up the stairs.
It seemed that Bobby was on the same page as Eddie. “I was thinking the same thing,” he admitted when Eddie carefully broached the subject of Buck being brought back onto calls. “I haven’t behaved very well at all when it’s come to Buck - I let my fears get the better of me and in turn I've been rude and unapproachable. I actually wanted to chat with him today, let him know that as of tomorrow he’ll be back on full duties.”
“Good, that’s good.”
Booby gave him a smile that could almost be considered bashful. “So how about you? Have you cleared the air with him yet?”
Eddie shook his head. “No, not yet. Same as you, I was hoping to do it today.”
“Glad to hear it.” He sighed. “I feel horrible. I’ve not only been a disgraceful captain but I haven’t been a good man either.”
Eddie leaned forward in his chair. “Don’t beat yourself up too much. I’m pretty sure Buck will forgive you.”
Bobby nodded and managed a small smile. “Probably, because he’s a good man. But at the end of the day I’ll be judged by someone else and I know this won’t have done me any favours.”
“You know, I left religion behind me a while ago,” Eddie admitted, “but I’m pretty sure that God takes into consideration our intent. You made your choices to keep Buck safe, and that’s what matters in the end.”
“Even so, it was unforgivable of me to then treat him the way I did when he came back.” Bobby squared his shoulders, locking away his emotions. “Anyway, that’ll be between God and myself. Now, how about we go find our boy. We both have apologies to make.”
Eddie nodded and stood, following Bobby from his office. His eyes scanned the loft but he saw no sign of Buck. “Maybe he’s in a bunk?” Bobby suggested.
Eddie frowned. “Doubtful. He’s been pushing himself since he got back no matter what chores you threw at him. I’ve not seen him take any downtime, even when he’s needed it.”
A worried crease marred Bobby’s brow. “I’ll go check the showers, you check the gym.”
Neither place was hiding Buck and Eddie felt a knot of worry grow in the pit of his stomach. Something was nagging at him and he stopped, letting his mind focus. “Munroe and Samuels,” he said slowly. “They mentioned Buck when I came in.”
Bobby frowned. “Alright, I’ll go and ask them if they’ve seen him.”
Something wasn’t right and Eddie listened to his gut and didn’t follow his captain. “I’m just going to go and check the storeroom,” he told Bobby’s retreating back. “Just in case.”
He hurried back down the stairs and as soon as his feet hit the bottom, he began to jog. A sense of urgency had settled over him and it was pulling him towards the storeroom, crying out to hurry, hurry, hurry. He burst in through the door, holding out his hand to catch it as it hit the wall and swung back at him. His eyes scanned the room, taking in the scattered boxes and general mess that was uncommon for any of their storage areas. And then he saw Buck, lying on the floor.
Eddie gave a shout and darted to his friend, dropping heavily to his knees at Buck’s side. He was slumped on his side, face hidden from sight and Eddie tried to roll him over as gently as possible. Buck’s body flopped over, his arm whacking the ground with a thump but Eddie didn't even notice, all his attention being drawn to Buck’s face. His nose was broken and his chin was covered in drying blood. He had two blackening eyes and the left side of his face was so swollen that his eye was almost lost to the puffy skin. Under the blooming bruises, Buck’s skin was deathly pale and it was this that had Eddie’s training kicking in and his hand flew to his pulse point.
It took a while but Eddie finally found a pulse, though it was faint and reedy. He turned his head and shouted once again for help, then he began gently running his hands over Buck’s body, feeling for other injuries. His shirt had rucked up a little and Eddie could see more purpling skin and he unbuttoned Buck’s shirt, pulling it aside to reveal a horrid sight. Buck’s entire torso was a multicoloured landscape, a dark and deadly palette. Eddie swore under his breath, recognising severe internal bleeding from his time as an army medic. Across his ribs was the perfect imprint of a boot, bruised into Buck’s skin.
Eddie’s anger began to bubble under his skin but he pushed it aside, knowing that it had to wait. Right this minute, Buck needed him. He quickly searched the shelves, finding a neck brace and he slid it on, fitting it around Buck’s neck just in case he had a spinal injury. There was a commotion at the door as Bobby and Hen arrived, both trying to enter at the same time in their hurry. Bobby stood back, allowing Hen in and she rushed to join Eddie, and Eddie heard him calling for Chim to come and assist.
Eddie reluctantly allowed himself to be pushed away as Hen began her examination. Eddie was a competent medic but he knew that he was too invested to keep a clear head. Hen, while upset at the state of her friend, wouldn’t fall apart and Buck needed that right now. Eddie sat back on his hunches, keeping a hold of one of Buck’s hands, needing to feel the warmth of his skin to know that he was still alive. Unfortunately, the urgency with which Hen was barking orders at Chim when he arrived made it clear that Buck’s life was hanging by a thread.
Buck was moved to a backboard and then they were rushing him to the ambulance, loading him into the back. Eddie watched on and startled as Bobby touched his elbow. “Did you want to go with them?” he asked quietly.
Eddie shook his head. “No. I’ll follow after.”
The doors slammed shut and the ambulance took off, and Eddie watched until it disappeared from view. It was only then that Bobby spoke again. “Okay, so I’m a little concerned. Normally I can’t keep you from Buck when he’s hurt. This isn’t to do with the lawsuit is it?”
Eddie took a deep breath and let it out through his nose since his jaw was tightly clamped. He was almost vibrating with anger but he couldn’t say anything, couldn’t give Bobby any warning of what he was going to do lest he try and stop him. Bobby was giving him a stern look however that told Eddie that he wasn’t going to get away with staying silent. “No.” He paused. “Maybe. Sort of”
“What does that mean?”
“It means yes, it’s related to that damn lawsuit but it’s not me who has a problem with it.”
“Okay, but is it more important than being with Buck right now?”
Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face. “If I was with Buck right now there is nothing that I could do for him, just sit there and wait.”
Bobby nodded. “Okay, but what can you do here?”
Eddie was done talking and he stalked off, hoping that Bobby wouldn’t follow him. There was something that he could do here, something that he would do but Cap wasn’t going to like it and would stop him if he knew. He caught sight of Munroe disappearing into the shower room and he hurried after him, hoping that perhaps Samuels would be there too.
He was in luck, they were both there, but so were three other guys. Eddie ignored the others and stalked across the tiled room to where his targets were chatting, Samuels sitting on a bench, taking off his boots, and Munroe standing next to him, his duffel open in front of him. He didn’t even pause, gave no warning, just threw a punch at Munroe’s jaw and then pivoted and used his forward momentum to snatch Samuels from the bench and throw him against the wall.
“What the fuck?” Samuels wheezed, his eyes wide in fear and indignation as Eddie pressed his forearm against his throat.
“You bastard!” Eddie roared, pressing forward, cutting off even more of his air. “How dare you touch him!”
From the ground at his feet, Munroe snorted. Eddie glanced down to see him wiping blood from his lip with the back of his hand. “That’s what this is about? That fucking traitor, Buckley? You should be glad that we put him in his place, that we showed him that there’s always consequences. A beating’s the least he deserves.”
Eddie snarled and dropped Samuels, who fell away gasping for breath, and rounded on Munroe, snatching the front of his shirt and hefting him to his feet. “You left him for dead, you fucking coward! Do you feel like a big man, huh? Beating up a guy on blood thinners, leaving him to bleed to death internally? Does that make you feel tough?”
“Wait, he’s on blood thinners?” Samuel gasped.
“I don’t fucking care!” Munroe spat, spittle spraying over Eddie’s face. “He doesn't deserve to be here.”
“Well neither do you,” Eddie growled and he turned and threw Munroe against the same wall that had recently pinned Samuels. He turned away, as if to leave but then he spun back around, his leg arcing gracefully before slamming into Munroe’s stomach. The man grunted and doubled over but Eddie didn’t hesitate, just added another punch to the jaw. He could hear shouts behind him from the others in the room but he ignored them, his focus on the assholes who had hurt Buck so badly.
Samuels saw the rage in his eyes and tried to back away but Eddie turned on him again while Munroe gasped. He grabbed hold of him and shoved him, Samuels’ bare feet slipping on the tiles and he fell backwards against the benches.
Time seemed to blur as Eddie lost himself in the violence, throwing punches and kicks at each man in turn, the hot blood that splashed across his face making him literally see red. He knew he must look terrifying as no one else had tried to step in and stop him and soon he found himself kneeling on the ground, Munroe on the floor beneath him as he pummelled him over and over with his fists. A distant pain told him that his knuckles had split but he ignored it, just kept on hitting. He didn't know it but he was babbling on repeat, “You killed him, you killed him,”, a constant stream of grief for the worst that could happen.
Then there were hands on his shoulders, wrenching him away and he turned, fists raised until he saw that it was Bobby and the fight drained from him in a rush.
“That’s enough!” Bobby snapped, dragging Eddie away. “Johnston, you and Hehir see to them,” he said to one of the men watching, tilting his head in Munroe and Samuels’ direction. Then he tightened his grip on Eddie’s arm and wrenched him from the room, dragging him up the stairs towards his office.
The door slammed shut and Eddie felt himself being pushed into a chair and he sank into it, exhausted. Now that the red fog of rage had ebbed away he was starting to realise that he’d crossed a line, that this may very well cost him his job. An image of Buck’s face and crumpled body flashed through his mind and he knew that he had no regrets, that he’d do it again in a heartbeat, face whatever consequences he had to.
A gentle touch to his face jolted him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Bobby standing over him, his eyes kind. “Here, for your knuckles.” He was holding an ice pack.
“Thanks,” Eddie grunted, not able to keep eye contact, worried about what Bobby would see.
He heard a sigh and then Bobby sat in the chair next to his, scooting closer. “What was that about?” he asked. He didn’t sound mad and Eddie wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or if it just meant that when the shit hit the fan it would be extra messy.
“When we got back from the call I saw them, Samuels and Munroe, leaving the storeroom. I chatted with them a bit and then you called me into your office.” He swallowed, his throat dry. “I mentioned Buck and they said don’t worry about him, they’ve taken care of it. You called me again and I didn't have time to ask what they meant. I should have asked, I should have known then that something was wrong.”
He finally glanced up and saw that Bobby’s eyes had gone hard. “Did they admit to it?” he asked. “Did they admit that they hurt Buck?”
Eddie nodded. “Yeah. Munroe said that a beating was the least that Buck deserved.” His voice caught a little and he looked away, rubbing at his eyes that were now burning.
“I expect the others in the room heard it?”
Eddie nodded, wondering where Bobby was going with this and why he hadn’t fired him yet. “Yeah, doubt they could have missed it.”
“Alright, thank you.” It was Bobby’s turn to sigh. “I’m going to have to write you up but we’ll deal with that later. For now I want you to clean up and then head to the hospital to wait with the rest of the team. I’ll deal with those two and then I’ll meet you there.”
“Wait, written up? Aren’t you going to fire me?”
“Do you want me to fire you?”
“No, of course not! I did attack them unprovoked though.”
Bobby’s eyes turned to ice. “I’d say that nearly killing one of my firefighters and then bragging about it is provocation enough, but obviously I can’t let you get away with what you did unpunished. Violence isn’t the answer, Eddie and you’ll have an official written warning on your file, but as far as I’m concerned that’s as far as it needs to go. I won’t be able to overlook anything else though so I need you to toe the line from here on out, you hear me?”
Eddie nodded. “Yes, Cap.”
“Good, now get out of here. I’ll be along after I’ve dealt with this mess.”
Eddie didn’t wait around or give Bobby a chance to change his mind. He hurried from the office and went straight to his car, deciding to find a bathroom at the hospital to wash up in. Now that the adrenaline was fading all he wanted to do was be near Buck and at the moment, he felt a world away from him. He began to drive and followed his heart, which was calling him home.
The first thing that Buck became aware of was that everything hurt. It was an ache that seemed to permeate all of his muscles, joints, and bones. He tried to open his eyes but they appeared to be glued shut and it took an inordinate amount of willpower to pry them open. When he finally did it was to find himself in a dimly lit hospital room, the only light coming from the window facing the corridor and the machines attached to him.
Slumped forward in a chair to Buck’s left was Eddie, his head squashed between the mattress and Buck’s arm. The flashing green light of the heart monitor reflected off his face, giving him an ethereal glow and he looked more peaceful than Buck had seen him in months. He went to lift his hand to shake Eddie’s shoulder but found that he couldn’t move it since his friend’s hand was clamped around Buck’s wrist.
“Eddie?” he croaked, his voice hoarse.
Eddie was awake and alert immediately, likely an old habit from his army days. “Buck!” he gasped and one of his hands flew to Buck’s face, cupping his cheek and stroking it softly. “You’re awake!”
“Seems so.” He tried to clear his throat and Eddie immediately grabbed the paper cup filled with water from the table, holding it just under his mouth. It took Buck a few goes to get the straw in his mouth as he chased it around the cup and he was glad that of all the people who could have been in the room with him when he woke, Eddie was the least likely to laugh at him. When his mouth didn’t feel as dry as the seven levels of hell, he asked, “What happened?”
Eddie’s eyes grew flinty. “You don’t remember?”
Buck shied away from the rage in those eyes, wondering what on earth he could have done to put it there. “I’m sorry -” he began, wanting to apologise even if he didn’t know what for.
A flash of hurt crossed Eddie’s face as Buck pulled away and he immediately lifted a hand back to Buck’s cheek. “Hey, hey, why are you sorry? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”
Buck could feel his eyes filling with tears but he was so tired and so sore that he simply didn’t have the energy to feel embarrassed. “You’re mad at me. I must have done something.”
“No, sweetheart, no. I’m not mad at you, no.”
He sniffled. “Promise?” The gentle touches and the pet names were sending a warm fuzzy feeling through him and he realised that he wanted more of it, more of Eddie.
Eddie smoothed the hair back from Buck’s brow. “I promise. I’m mad at the bastards who did this to you.”
“To me?” Buck had assumed that he’d been injured on a call but obviously not. He frowned in concentration and tried to recall what had happened. He’d been at work; he’d been reinstated but wasn’t allowed on calls. Bobby was still upset. He’d been doing inventory. Munroe and Samuels. Oh.
“Fuck,” he said, eyes falling closed as it all came rushing back.
“Yeah.” Eddie dropped his hand and took hold of one of Buck’s in both of his. He gently brushed across his knuckles and it felt nice, a small jolt of pleasure amongst the never ending pain.
“How bad is it?” Buck asked, swallowing hard.
Eddie hesitated and then started listing his injuries. “Concussion. Three broken ribs. Internal abdominal bleeding. Broken nose. Hairline fracture of your left eye socket.”
Buck listened in shock, both awed and horrified at the worry etched in Eddie’s features. He wanted to alleviate his concern and jokingly said, “That’s all?”
Eddie glared at him. “I forgot to add bruising so extensive that I’m sure you’ve discovered a new colour.”
“Right,” he said, chastised. “So, uh, do you know who it was? Who did this?”
Eddie considered him for a long moment before saying, “Buck, I know you, better than you think I do. I know when you’re being evasive. I know that you know who did this. I also know that you’d rather suffer in silence than speak up because you’re so terrified of making a fuss, of making waves.”
Buck could feel his face heating at being called out so accurately but luckily he didn’t think it would be noticeable under the bruising.
“Luckily,” Eddie continued, “we know exactly who did this to you.”
He stared, wide eyed. “You do?”
“Yes, we do. Bobby fired them the night of the attack.”
Buck wanted to ask so many questions - how many nights had it been since the attack? How long had he been out? What had everyone at the station thought? Did anyone think he’d deserved the beating? Was Bobby mad? One thing was nagging at him though and it was the way that Eddie couldn't quite look him in the eye, like he was keeping something from him. “What is it?” he asked. “What is it that you’re not telling me?”
“I may have gotten to them before Bobby did,” Eddie admitted.
Buck’s eyes widened again, even though it hurt immensely to do so. Thanks, hairline fracture to the eye socket. “What did you do?”
Eddie looked chagrined. “I might have kicked their asses a little.”
That... was hotter than it had any right to be. Normally Buck abhorred violence but knowing that Eddie had gone after Munroe and Samuels to avenge him stirred something deep inside of him. He felt... cherished. Which was all kinds of fucked up but he figured that he was in a hospital bed with an anthology of injuries so he was allowed a pass for this one.
Of course, kicking someone’s ass would come with consequences and Buck immediately worried about what lay in store for Eddie. “Did you get in trouble?” he asked.
Eddie shrugged. “Cap wrote me up but that’s it.” He must have seen the surprise on Buck’s face. “Yeah, shocked me too since I totally expected to be fired, especially since I beat their asses at work, but I dunno. I guess he was feeling guilty about what happened to you and let me off lightly.”
Buck frowned. “Why was Bobby feeling guilty?”
Eddie arched a brow. “Seriously?”
“What? I’m the one who fucked everything up and put everyone in a shitty situation.”
Eddie’s hands tightened around Buck’s. “Sweetheart, no, this is not your fault.” He huffed out a long breath. “Look, the lawsuit was upsetting, especially to me since I couldn't see you. I just wanted you by my side and I wasn’t allowed to have you and that made me mad, I’m not gonna lie. But we should have understood. I mean, you tried to tell us how much being back at work meant to you, but we didn't realise how much. I’m so sorry, Buck. I said horrible things to you and then avoided you when you got back because I missed you so much that it was hurting me, badly.”
“See, it is my fault!”
“No, no it’s not! We weren’t there for you as much as we should have been during your recovery, and we didn't listen so it’s understandable that you felt boxed into a corner. You did what you thought you had to do to get back to us, to your family.” He looked devastated as he said, “And we shunned you for that. We were horrible to you.”
“Well, to be fair, Hen and Chim weren’t,” Buck quipped, feeling a little high at Eddie’s words.
Eddie looked miserable as he nodded. “Yeah, they were your true friends. Damn it, Buck, I’m supposed to be your best friend and I treated you the worst of everyone.”
“I’m pretty sure ignoring me isn’t as bad as breaking three of my ribs and busting my face up. Stop being so dramatic,” he teased.
Eddie snorted. “Yeah, well, I get that from my abuela. It’s the Mexican in me.”
Buck managed to twist his hand so he could link his fingers with Eddie’s, and it felt so right. “You’re still my best friend, you know that, right?”
A tear slipped down over Eddie’s cheek. “I don’t deserve that.”
“You deserve the world, Eddie,” Buck said quietly, his voice raw with honesty. “I wish I could give it to you, give you everything.” Maybe it was the meds he was on, maybe it was just time to throw caution to the wind, but Buck suddenly found himself opening his whole heart. “I wish that you’d let me be more than just your best friend. I wish I could be there for you in everything you do, be there for Christopher.”
Eddie’s gaze dropped to their joined hands briefly and then rose again to meet his. “Buck,” he began, sounding almost broken, “you already are my everything. I can’t ‘let’ you be more than my best friend because to me you already are more. I love you, sweetheart, have for a while now, and I always will. That’s why it was so damn hard to be separated from you. I missed you so damn much.”
It was Buck’s turn for his eyes to well over. “You love me?”
Eddie leaned forward and pressed their lips gently to one another. “Yes, Buck, I love you.”
“What a coincidence because I’ve just realised that I love you too.”
Eddie laughed softly, his breath puffing against Buck’s lips. “I have a feeling that we’ve both been idiots this whole time.”
“Maybe,” Buck said, and wished that Eddie would kiss him again. If he wasn’t in so much pain, he’d lean forward and kiss him himself. “Does this mean that we’re going to be idiots together from now on?”
“Yeah, yeah it does.” Eddie finally kissed him again and if Buck flatlined right now, he’d die happy. They still had a lot to talk about, to sort out, but right now he had hope that everything would be okay. Sometimes the consequences weren’t always bad.