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Her fingers pass quickly and accurately over the keyboard as she works her way through the case file. No active cases means catching up on paperwork.
Lots of paperwork. She thinks of the forests that must have been decimated so she can put suspects behind bars and sighs.
She tries to ignore her craving for a glass of wine. She doesn't have Trixie, but she doesn't want to be tipsy while filling out evidence forms.
She sighs again. It's Friday night and she's at home, alone, working on case files that can be left until Monday. Lucifer is right.
She really is the oldest young person on the planet.
And everyone expects her to stay that way.
She's the responsible one.
She makes sure that everyone is taken care of: Trixie, her mom, Maze, Ella, even Dan.
Maybe she'll ask Linda for a referral.
She pushes away from the table, stumbles to the couch, curls up around a pillow and lets silent tears of self-pity stream down her face.
She feels incredibly pathetic.
And of course, the front door opens.
She doesn't bother moving or even opening her eyes. Whiskey, tobacco, and the scent of night air.
It's Lucifer.
She tries to stop the tears, but these have been a long time coming, and they aren't about to be held back, even by Lucifer Morningstar, who is uncharacteristically quiet.
She doesn't hear him move, but she feels the couch dip down next to her.
She finds herself obeying the silent command of his arm as it firmly encircles her and cuddles into his side. She releases the pillow when he gently tugs at it.
He tucks his handkerchief into her fist and takes her hair out of its messy bun, gently running his fingers through it. She finds herself calming under his touch. She wipes at her tears and her runny nose before turning her head to the side and looking at him.
"What are you doing here?" she asks in a tear-soaked voice, without her usual sarcasm.
He tightens his one-armed embrace. "I could ask you the same question, Detective," he says softly, taking the handkerchief from her and using it to get a few spots of makeup that she had missed.
Her lip wobbles a little. "I'm here doing paperwork on a Friday night because...because you're right. I am the oldest young person you have ever met. It's--I'm pathetic." She feels tears welling up in her eyes again.
He gently runs a hand through her hair again. It feels good. She closes her eyes and leans into the touch.
"How long is this going to go on, Detective?" he asks her softly, continuing to stroke her hair. "How much longer are you going to neglect your needs and desires--the very essence of yourself--and pretend that everything is perfectly fine?"
"I'm...I...I don't know!" she sobs, pressing her face into Lucifer's shirt. "I don't know what my needs and desires are! I'm...I'm afraid to know what they are! I'm scared, okay? I'm fucking terrified of...of letting go. I'm afraid of who I am and what I want and I don't--I don't--" Her words dissolve into hysterical sobbing.
Lucifer pulls Chloe into his lap and rocks her gently, pressing kisses into her hair. "It's all right, darling," he soothes. "You're not alone, I promise. You are never alone as long as you want me in your life."
After an unknown amount of time, her weeping tapers off and Lucifer nudges her chin upwards with one finger until her eyes meet his. "It's been quite some time since you could trust someone to take care of you properly, hasn't it?" he asks, tracing the damp softness of her cheek with one finger. She bites her bottom lip, closes her eyes, and nods. She tucks her head under his chin, sighing in contentment as his arms wrap around her. For the first time since Palmetto Street, since the separation, since Dan's confession, since Malcolm, since the divorce...she feels safe. "I trust you," she hears herself whisper. "I trust you with me, Lucifer."
One large hand rubs warm circles on her back. Lucifer considers his options silently for a moment as her body relaxes against his.
And being Lucifer Morningstar, he decides to chance everything on one throw of the dice.
He takes a deep breath before beginning.
"You can say 'no' to this idea...or you can say 'yes' for now, but retain the power to say 'no' at any point in the future," he tells her.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks at him, confusion written all over her face. "I don't understand," she replies softly.
He chuckles. "That's because I'm...gathering my courage." He presses a gentle kiss to her temple. "Have you ever heard of Dominance and Submission?"
Chloe blinks.
"I've heard of terms like 'BDSM' and I've encountered certain sexual...preferences and practices over my years on the force, but never those two specific terms together, no. Why?"
"Just hear me out. If you want to slap me silly afterwards, you can have at it." He takes a deep breath and takes her hand. "BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and, finally, Sadism and Masochism. In Dominance and Submission, one partner, the Dominant or top, is granted control by the submissive, sub, or bottom to have power over them, the submissive, for a few minutes, a few hours, or longer periods of time. It's an...exchange of personal power with someone, and who is only someone you trust absolutely and absolutely trust with your physical and psychological safety."
It clicks. "You want to...try this with...me?" Chloe asks Lucifer softly.
"Yes," Lucifer says simply. "It can, but doesn't have to involve sexual intimacy. Some, including me, would say that, at its core, Dominance and Submission isn't about sexual intimacy at all. The ones I've seen who are truly spectacular at it understand that this is about an emotional connection and exchange of personal power that goes beyond simple trust. If you trusted me to...be your Dominant, Dom, or Top, it would be with the understanding that I not abuse the power you are placing in me. That I will care for you, keep you safe and content, and not do anything to you that would harm you, physically or psychologically, or do anything that you wouldn't want to happen. Specifically, I would enjoy...taking care of you and giving you a safe time and place where you aren't responsible for everything and everyone."
He takes a deep breath and continues. "Members of the BDSM community emphasize another acronym: SSSC, or Safe, Sane, Sober, and Consensual. Whenever you are with me as my submissive, or sub, everything we do together will be safe physically and psychologically, we will both be in a healthy mental state, no drugs or alcohol will be involved, and either one of us can stop whatever is happening--we can change our minds and that's okay."
Chloe's mind clicks through images and emotions. She realizes that Lucifer has been doing that since their first case.
--i don't want to die--
--i won't let you--
He's intensely protective of her and always has been and even though she doesn't always understand the reasons behind it, she likes it. "I like knowing that you're my partner, that you're the one who has my back, that...I can and do trust you with my life." She sighs, feeling an enormous sense of weight and responsibility lift from her back and shoulders at the idea of Lucifer taking control from her that she has willingly given to him. "I want...I need to do this. You'll...you'll really...take care of me?"
She's looking up at him and her eyes show both her fear of rejection and her resolve.
"I would be honored to take care of you," he answers, one of his hands encircling Chloe's wrists and the other tangling in the thistledown of her hair.
He feels her stiffen and tremble at this demonstration of his physical strength and an example of what being dominated will feel like. He looks deeply into her eyes.
"I won't harm you, Chloe. Can you trust me to kiss you? Remember, you can say no and I will respect that."
Lucifer watches in fascination as Chloe closes her eyes and breathes deeply until she's no longer trembling and is once again relaxed against him.
"Yes," she answers.
He takes his time, nuzzling and brushing her cheeks with his lips until she's looking at him with a smile on her lips and desire in her eyes.
"Chloe," he whispers before pressing his lips to hers for the first time.
He cradles the back of her head in one hand, playing with her hair as he nibbles at her lips, waiting for her to open her mouth for him. She does when he runs the tip of his tongue over her lips, letting out a soft sigh as his tongue strokes hers. She tries to press herself up against him, but he gives her a further demonstration of his dominance by using his grip on her wrists and head to control their first kiss. He chuckles when she lets out a little growl of frustration.
She's going to give him a run for his money before she surrenders to him completely, his Chloe. But she'll still be as sweet as sugar-treated absinthe, and, he suspects, be just as addictive.
But there's one more thing they have to talk about, so he reluctantly draws away from the kiss.
She pouts slightly until he taps the tip of her nose, making her smile again.
"Chloe, I need you to pay attention to this next part," Lucifer begins. "It's for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. If, at some point, you become...overwhelmed and need everything that is happening to stop, you simply say red. If you have questions or need a moment to slow things down, you say yellow. If everything is okay and you're certain you're fine, you say green. It's known as the traffic-light system. It's a simple system, but it's effective, and it works--for both of us. We each have limits and though we'll try very hard not to cross those limits, we may accidentally brush up against one of them over time. Ergo, the traffic-light system. Remember: green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means full stop. Okay?"
Chloe nods her head. "Green for go, yellow for slow down, and red for stop." She rests her head against his chest and stifles a yawn. She feels Lucifer's chuckle under her ear.
"And the first thing you need is a good night's sleep," he murmurs. He slides his arms around her in order to lift her up when he feels her fist her hands in his shirt and she's shaking against him.
"What is it, love?" he asks.
She's panicking and she hates it but she's promised herself to tell Lucifer the truth. "Don't go," she pleads. "I...I'm afraid of being...alone. Of...of you leaving me alone."
Lucifer cuddles his Chloe close while reassuring her. "Of course not, darling. No more nights alone unless you absolutely need some space from your very possessive...lover." Her sigh of relief would have made him smile if he hasn't sensed her very real fear.
Chloe relaxes into Lucifer's warmth, nuzzling his neck affectionately. "My 'very possessive lover'?" she murmurs into his ear.
Lucifer turns his head so he can look into his Chloe's eyes. "Your only lover. If that's acceptable to you, of course. You will be the only one I will welcome into my bed, and I expect to be the only one welcomed into yours."
Chloe looks slightly offended. "I've never cheated in my life and I'm not about to start now."
Lucifer chuckles softly. "My apologies, Detective. Needing to be the only lover you have is a...new sensation that I have to come to terms with."
Chloe's chuckle echoes Lucifer's. "The idea of monogamy scaring you already?"
"Actually, no. The idea of disappointing you or hurting you in any way is what is frightening me," he answers slowly.
She moves so she can cup his stubbled cheekbones in her hands and look into the depths of his eyes. "The only thing that will make me disappointed in you or that will hurt me is if you lie to me or keep your true feelings from me. I can't handle you running away again. That would...break me, if you did that again."
He closes his eyes and presses his forehead to hers. "I'm so sorry, Chloe. I never apologized to you for putting you through that. It was unfair and unjust and I promise that I will not abandon you again," he whispers.
"Apology accepted," Chloe whispers back. "I promise that if you disappear again, I will never stop trying to find you. I may belong to you, but you belong to me."
Her words cause desire, hot and thick as magma, to flow through his veins. He lifts her and twists his own body so she finds herself pinned underneath him, his mouth devouring hers. He nudges her legs apart with his knee and she eagerly opens herself to him. She moans in the back of her throat when she wraps her legs around his waist and can feel him, his heat and his length against her, separated from her by a few layers of cloth.
"Lucifer," she pants as he marks her neck with a love-bite. He grabs her hips and grinds himself against her, both of them making low sounds of pleasure, of desire.
"Is this what you desire, Chloe?" he asks, hot breath swirling around her ear. "Is this what you've longed for when you've been alone and abandoned these many nights? Tell me, darling." He laughs darkly and suckles her earlobe, sending a series of wonderful shivers up and down her spine.
"Yes!" she cries out, arching her hips against him as best she can in Lucifer's iron grip. "I wanted this. I wanted...I wanted you." She hears him moan her name and feels him throbbing between her legs. Encouraged by his response, she continues to make love to him with words she's kept locked behind her lips for far too long.
"I wanted more...desired more...I wanted to be yours in a way none of your other lovers could ever be," she whispers harshly in his ear, biting his earlobe to return the favor. "I want to belong to you, Lucifer! But I need...I need to know that you belong to me, too. Please tell me you belong to me like I belong to you!" she gasps, suddenly feeling one of Lucifer's hands pinning her wrists above her head and the other hand cupping a breast, his thumb teasing the nipple into an aching hardness. She can't do anything but arch desperately into his caress.
When Chloe's breath is exhaled in a pleasure-filled sob, Lucifer can't refuse her anymore. "I belong to you, Chloe," he affirms. "All the others after I met you were attempts at distracting myself from thinking about the fact that you weren't the one in my bed...or in my arms." Then he does pick her up to bring her to her bedroom, where he kicks the door closed and takes a moment to lock it.
"Not one interruption," he orders. "Not one distraction."
Chloe swallows and nods, turning her phone off, then stands next to the bed, blushing and feeling more than a little awkward. This is what she's wanted, what she's desired, but she doesn't know what the steps are yet in their version of this dance.
Lucifer can see her blush and her awkward stance and the way her eyes flick from the floor to his face. He takes the few steps necessary to bring him in front of her and lets his arms enfold her. She's trembling again, all nerves and desperate wanting and clings to him, her cheek pressing against his chest.
He murmurs into her hair, "Do you have a candle we can use instead of electric light? That might make the two of us more comfortable."
She smiles up at him before letting go of him and opening a closet door. She pulls out a large, white candle with a double wick and a box of matches. She places the candle on her dresser and lights it before turning off the intrusive electric lights.
"Teach me how to love you," she tells him, taking his hands and brushing kisses over his knuckles.
"Let me love you and you'll find out along the way how to love me," he answers, taking his hands from hers to focus on undoing the buttons of her blouse. Chloe mirrors his movements in the dancing light and shadows of the candle. The scent of jasmine starts to permeate the room.
Lucifer stops halfway, parting the unfastened portion of Chloe's blouse to run his fingers under and around her breasts. He notes that her bra is plain white cotton with a tiny bit of lace and a small bow to keep it from being completely utilitarian.
"Rule number one," he tells her as he reaches behind her to free her breasts. "Tomorrow, we're going lingerie shopping. I want to know that under all your simple clothing, you're wearing something that makes you feel beautiful and sensual. You'll also need loungewear and...other garments to wear in my lair," he finishes with a small smile as Chloe's eyes close and her arms fall away from his chest as he strokes his fingertips over her nipples.
Chloe feels goosebumps rise on her skin and her nipples harden under Lucifer's teasing fingers. She finds herself panting and reaches out to grab him again when she catches herself swaying on her feet. She swallows so she can say to him, "Please..."
"'Please' what, darling?"
She finds herself blushing again but is determined to be open and honest. "I want to know what your mouth feels like on my breasts...please."
"I know how hard that was for you, my darling. I adore your bravery and determination. Now, let's get these things off of you so I can get my mouth on you," he replies, unfastening the remaining buttons on the blouse and pushing it off her shoulders and rapidly vanishing the bra into the shadows of the bedroom.
He kneels in front of her, nuzzling in between her breasts. He feels her sway and grab his shoulders. "Lucifer!" echoes in his ears as he licks and sucks and kisses his way back and forth, teasing one nipple, then the other.
Chloe lets her head fall back, feeling her hair brush her spine. She calls out his name as he rubs his tongue against each nipple in turn, feeling the wet heat and throbbing between her legs increase. She spreads her legs to keep her balance and then Lucifer is undoing the button and zipper on her jeans, pushing them and her panties down past her hips, his mouth swiftly following his hands.
"I need to make you come, Chloe," she hears dimly, feeling his thumbs rub against her hips. "I need to hear you, feel you, taste you."
She's panting hard and her head feels so heavy, but she manages to look down at Lucifer. "I'll fall," is the tiny sound that comes out of her mouth.
Lucifer shakes his head. "I won't let you fall." Then she doesn't worry about whether she'll fall or not because he's sucking at her, tasting her, then he eases two fingers inside her and she's flying.
She's wet and hot and tight and he wants to be inside her, deep inside her, feeling her throbbing echo his own, but he meant what he said--he needs to make her come at least once without the distraction of his own pleasure. Her voice rises in pitch and her hips are snapping against his hand. He wraps his other arm around her waist and flutters his lips and tongue against her, making her slap a hand over her mouth to muffle a scream and fist a hand in his hair as he feels her inner walls tighten vise-like around his fingers.
She tastes fucking divine and he can't stop--doesn't want to stop--so he won't. He slaps the taut buttock of hers under his hand just hard enough to see if he can get a reaction and he does. Chloe's hips jerk sharply and she becomes almost impossibly tight around his fingers.
"Green?" he takes a moment to ask her.
"Green...more...please...oh...Lucifer!" Another slap, sharper this time, and another flick of his tongue over her swollen flesh and she's coming for him again.
She forgets to cover her mouth and her scream of his name makes him pull away from and out of her, and place her gently on her bed. He watches her regain her senses as he shucks off his clothing until he's standing proudly on display next to her.
She's never wanted this much in her life. She bites her bottom lip and rolls on her side, running her hands over and around the length and girth of his cock. "Just touching for now," Lucifer tells her, when she licks her lips. "That beautiful mouth of yours would be my...undoing, as it were, and the first time I come, I want to be deep inside you when I do." She looks up at him and nods.
He allows her to explore him with her soft, slightly calloused hands and fingers. She tangles her fingers in the small, neat mat of curls above his hardness and smiles up at him again, her eyes twinkling.
"Whatever is tickling that sense of humor of yours?" he asks her, stroking her hair.
"So you do manscape," she says, laughter in her voice as she reminds him of their conversation in the Church of the Dark Prince.
("Looks just like you."
"I manscape!")
Laughter bubbles out of him, echoed by Chloe's. She tosses back the comforter and is happy that she took the time to change the sheets that afternoon. She slides back, making room for Lucifer's long form.
He's still chuckling when he lays down so she isn't expecting it when he suddenly rolls them over so she's underneath him. But it doesn't matter. What on earth could matter more than his lips on hers, his hands cupping her breasts, the hardness of his cock nestled against her stomach, and his weight pressing down on her, warm and solid and safe.
"Where are the condoms that Maze gave you as a housewarming gift?" he asks, chuckling softly into her ear. She finds herself laughing too instead of groaning in embarrassment and points to the nightstand. Lucifer opens the drawer, finds the rather large box of his favorite type of condoms, rips opens the box and pulls one out.
When he moves to put it on, Chloe stops him. "May I?" she asks him. He nods and hands the foil square to her.
She's somehow careful, gentle, and deft at the same time. She smooths it down his length and reaches back into the drawer, pulling out a small bottle of lube. She warms some in her hands and anoints him with it, watching as his eyes flutter shut. She swiftly wipes her hands with a tissue and moves back under him.
He kisses her softly, trying to remember that it's been a long time for Chloe--when his fingers were inside her, he noted that she was incredibly tight.
The last thing he wants to do is hurt her in any way.
So...patience.
Her legs fall open at his touch and she allows him to position her hips. "Lucifer...it's...I haven't..." she stutters.
"It's all right, darling," he murmurs, placing a finger to her lips. "Patience and time. That's all we need."
He brings his hand down to tease at her entrance, watching as her back arches. He captures a nipple in his mouth and hears her moan wordlessly. He eases himself inside her, the tightness and heat of her making him close his eyes and breathe deeply.
"It's okay," Chloe whispers to him, feeling him tremble with self-control. "I want you inside me." She hears him moan helplessly and feels him push in a bit more. There's a bit of burn that makes her hiss and Lucifer pauses, waiting for her to move under him. Luckily, the two orgasms he gave her have relaxed her more than either of them realize. She shifts her hips to give him more room and wraps her legs around his waist, arching up to meet him, the lube giving them the last bit of help they need so he can seat himself fully inside her.
Chloe wraps her arms around his neck, keeping Lucifer inside her with the strength of her thighs. He trembles, not daring to move in case the whole bloody thing is some kind of fever-dream.
She moves first, unable to keep her hips still. He follows her lead, pressing deeper with each downward thrust. "Tell me that this is what you've wanted, Lucifer," she breathes. "Please tell me this is what you've wanted..."
"Oh, my Chloe..." he pants. "My Chloe...this is all I've ever wanted...what I've needed...needed you...my Chloe..."
He abandons all pretense at self-control and grabs her hips, thrusting and grinding, feeling her move with him and around him, tightening her muscles around his shaft. "I'm yours, Lucifer," she cries out as she feels everything good about lovemaking pulse through her body--the ultimate closeness, the heat of him, the heat of her, the feeling of fullness, of completeness, their breathlessness and panted words, even the sweat that Lucifer licks from her collarbone.
She grabs his shoulders and holds on, letting him slam them into the mattress. She can feel her orgasm ready to burst inside her and holds back just a little bit longer until...
"Chloe...Chloe...Bloody-fucking-Hell, Chloe!" Lucifer bellows and she cries out her own paean of praises to her lover as they come together.
**
Her eyes flutter open when she feels Lucifer pull out, carefully holding on to the condom. She manages to reach over to give him a tissue so he can throw the whole mess into the bin beside her bed. He slips under the covers next to her, gently pulling the sheets and comforter over her as he spoons himself behind her.
Lucifer rocks her gently...His Chloe, at long last. He can't stop smiling even when she turns over, and, muttering something completely unintelligible, shoves him on his back so she can rest her head on his shoulder and toss her leg over his hip.
"So much for me being the dominant one in this relationship," he sighs contentedly into her hair. He doesn't need dominance over her--unless she truly desires it from him.
"The only time you've been the dominant one in this relationship is when I've been unconscious," she mutters, sending puffs of breath across his chest. She can feel his laughter under her cheek and smiles in response. "But I do want to try out the spanking thing again when I have more energy."
"Oh-ho! We're definitely going on a field trip tomorrow. Lingerie for certain," he replies.
"And a lock for your damned elevator. I'm not good at sharing, especially when it comes to you," she yawns.
"And a lock for my damned elevator," he agrees. When no response is forthcoming, he looks down and sees her sleeping in the crook of his arm. Before he closes his own eyes, he looks over at the candle and snuffs the flames with a thought and a flash of red in the depths of his brown eyes.
He doesn't even wake when she starts to snore.
END PART ONE
