flick your cigarette (then kiss me)

by cursivelights

Summary:

Seojun rolls his eyes. “This is so childish,” he mutters, but he puts his phone down and rolls his shoulders, looking at Soojin with a raised a brow.

“Truth or dare?” she asks, seemingly just as enthusiastic about this as he is.

“What do you take me for?” Seojun responds drily, like it’s obvious. “Of course dare!”

Soojin nods her chin at Jugyeong. “Kiss her.”
 

(the school trip but how it went in my head)

It started with a dare and a cigarette. 

School trips meant delinquency and delinquency at Saebom High meant stolen kisses between lovers and sneaking flasks into tents and bribing the campground manager to let them wander the woods in search of a certain ghost.

Tonight, it meant gathering together in one tent in the wee hours of the morning to play truth or dare. 

“Soo-Ah! Truth or dare?” Hyun-Kyu asks. 

“Mm…truth!” she chirps back.

“Who’s your celebrity crush?!” Hyun-Kyu darts back.

Everyone in the circle hisses and Ooo’s as they look between her and her boyfriend, who scowls with petulance grumpiness while glaring at the source of the question. 

“How can I have a celebrity crush when I have my prince?” Soo-Ah responds, leaning up to peck Tae-Hoon on the cheek. 

“Yah! You’re making me cringe more than Mr. Joon-Woo does!” Si-Hyun shouts, pointing a finger at them to drive them apart. It makes everyone else laugh.

Soojin grabs the bottle and twists it, watching with incuriosity as it spins and spins and spins until it lands on Seojun. She blinks at him as he drags on a cigarette Cho-Rong handed him. “Han Seojun!” she calls when his attention doesn’t shift from his phone.

He looks up at her, eyes wide. “What?”

“Your turn,” everyone around the bottle murmurs synchronously. 

Seojun rolls his eyes. “This is so childish,” he mutters, but he puts his phone down and rolls his shoulders, looking at Soojin with a raised a brow.

“Truth or dare?” she asks, seemingly just as enthusiastic about this as he is.

“What do you take me for?” Seojun responds drily, like it’s obvious. “Of course dare!”

Soojin nods her chin at Jugyeong. “Kiss her.”

She says it like it was on the tip of her tongue the whole time, a strategy of some sort.

There’s choking and a gasp and two giggles and Soojin’s idle blinking and resting bitch face as she looks at him expectantly.

Seojun curbs his shock, turning his head to look at Jugyeong sitting one person away. She’s doing a lousy job of hiding her surprise, eyes wide and fixed on Soojin like she just killed her firstborn. Betrayed.

“What?” they say at the same time.

“Want me to be more specific?” Soojin pushes her hair off her shoulder and leans forward like she’s about to whisper a secret to Seojun. “Kiss Lim Jugyeong.”

Seojun isn’t one to back down. His bold nature always lies at the pinnacle of everything he does and everything he does is a challenge; one that does nothing but fuel the daredevil at his core.

He rolls the drawstring of his PJ hoodie between his fingers for a few seconds, tongue poking the inside of his cheek contemplatively. 

When he realizes Lim Jugyeong won’t be recovering from shock anytime soon, he huffs and slaps Cho-Rong’s thigh, “Get out of the way,” he mutters, as if this is as much of a burden to him as it seems to be to her.

Cho-Rong stares for a long second before scurrying to do as told, disbelief clear on his features.

“Ya! I mean it. Switch places. Get up, get up,” Seojun pushes him aside and scoots over to take his place. 

He can feel the dozen pairs of eyes on him, including Suho’s. They’d fought earlier that day so knowing he’s getting under his skin is nothing short of satisfying.

Two birds, one stone. Seojun has an overwhelming urge to smooch Soojin on the forehead for this dare. Even though he knows it comes from a selfish desire. He sees the way she looks at Suho.

She’s not obvious, but he looks at Jugyeong the same way. Takes a yearning to know a yearning. Or whatever.

The chanting of kiss, kiss, kiss draws Seojun out of his thoughts and synchronizes itself with the beating of his heart, making him lift what’s left of his cigarette to his mouth for a lungful of nicotine.

Something about Jugyeong’s eyes on the cherry of his cigarette as it simmers red makes him think. Maybe. There’s something more addictive that the coffin nail between his fingers. Maybe more death-dealing, too.

He puts the smoke out on the floor of the tent, paying the complaints following no mind as he leans forward, the suddenness making her lean away, hands balled into fists against the tent floor and holding her up.

Seojun knows a no when he sees one. 

She clears her throat a moment later, catching herself, then leans back in, lifting her head as if she has to steel herself for it. Rise above it and withstand the torture of kissing him.

It rips Seojun’s façade to pieces and cracks his heart too. He smiles though, tilted and small, blinking up from her lips to her eyes. “Do you really think I’d kiss you without asking first?” he questions. It’s rhetorical. 

So it hurts more than he’s willing to admit when Jugyeong looks like she’s actually contemplating the question. Like there’s any other answer than a negative. 

Everyone around the bottle’s gone silent, waiting with bated breath as Seojun lingers a whisker away from her lips. He huffs a short-lasting laugh from his nose and tilts his head to kiss her cheek.

His lips feel cold against her blush, the shock trembling out of her on a breath drowning out the yells of this is so cringey! and he found a loophole!

He pulls back a moment later and brushes a strand of hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear before turning back to the group, phone out to distract himself.

 

…

 

“Lim Jugyeong!”

Jugyeong throws her jacket down on her sleeping bag and looks at Soo-Ah. “What?” she grumbles.

“Are you and Seojun dating?” Soo-Ah whispers excitedly, wiggling with more enthusiasm than necessary. “Is that why he didn’t kiss you? You haven’t kissed yet? When did you start dating? Does he treat you good?”

“No,” Jugyeong shakes her head. “We barely pass as friends.”

Soo-Ah rolls her eyes “Friends, my foot,” she mutters.

Jugyeong punches her lightly in the shoulder. “Stop it,” she groans, voice a childish slur. “I don’t like him like that.”

“Okay, okay,” Soo-Ah relents and lies back down with a huff, losing all interest in a second. She’s pouting as if she has the right to be mad about it. “You two would be cute together.”

Jugyeong doesn’t grace that statement with an answer as she reaches for her phone and lies down beside her. She clicks it open, chewing on her lip for a few seconds before turning it back off. “Soo-Ah?”

“Mm,” Soo-Ah hums tiredly.

“What does it feel like?” Jugyeong inquires. She rolls onto her side, tucking both hands under her head. “Love?”

Soo-Ah’s face is blank for a few seconds, then a grin splits across her face and she turns to face her too. “I hated my honey at first,” she starts. “He was so clingy and I wasn’t interested in him.”

Jugyeong nods, urging her to continue.

“He didn’t give up on me,” Soo-Ah sings. “He always bought me my favorite drink,” she counts on her fingers. “My favorite food, my favorite everything. He sang to me when I got sad,” Soo-Ah smiles into the distance, smitten and moon-eyed. “I fell in love with him without knowing.”

She squeals a small delighted thing that makes Soojin shout shut up from the other end of the tent. Soo-Ah covers her mouth, giggling along with Jugyeong. “He told me he loved me on my birthday and kissed my cheek,” she rolls onto her back with a lovestruck sigh. “And when he held my hand for the first time, I knew it was fate. It felt right.”

She reaches for her phone like just talking about it is making her miss Tae-Hoon. Jugyeong can hear her hum an out-of-tune Amor Fati. 

She doesn’t get much sleep. Finds herself checking the time every three minutes until it’s past midnight and nothing but the chirping of crickets can be heard outside.

Eventually, she sits up, looking around her to see if anyone’s awake. Soo-Ah’s sleeping, her phone lying open in the spread of her fingers and her face burrowed in the inside of Tae-Hoon’s baggy hoodie, her smile fixed in place. 

Jugyeong takes the phone out of her hand and turns it off before tucking her in properly. Soo-Ah smacks her mouth, smile widening a bit before she relaxes into the sleeping beauty she is. 

Jugyeong gets up, and sneaks out the tent on her tippy-toes, looking right and left to make sure no one’s there to see her.

She rounds the tent, still looking back in case the campground manager is lurking in to narrate another one of his ridiculous stories. Finding no trace of him, she turns to look ahead and comes face to face with him, his wrinkles deepened with anger as he glares at her. “Back to your tent!” he shouts.

Jugyeong steps back in surprise and bumps right into a solid chest. She doesn’t turn around, but instead lifts her head slowly. 

Seojun isn’t looking back at her, even with his hands on her upper arms, protective and gentle as he looks at the campground manager. “Yah, ajushi. That’s no way to talk to a lady!”

The scolding doesn’t do much to placate the old man. “It’s for your own good,” he points between both of them. “Do you know how many women have carried cursed babies here?”

Jugyeong sputters through a ‘No!’, hand shaking to stop him from delving into some weird, low quality tale she has no interest in. “That’s not what it is, ajushi. I promise,” she stutters out, elbowing Seojun when he laughs, not making a single effort to get the old man’s head out of the gutter. “We’re just friends! Right?” she looks back up at Seojun.

The campground manager doesn’t seem to believe that, glare moving back and forth between the two of them before he walks away, hands held at the small of his back. 

Jugyeong turns around and pounds a fist on Seojun’s chest. “What are you doing here?” she snaps between hits. “Now the rumors are going to get worse! Aish!” she burrows her fingers in her hair and tugs in frustration.

Seojun smiles down at her quietly. He lets her complain and groan and melt down right in front of him without interruption. When she goes quiet, he tilts his head. “Done?”

“Yeah,” she mumbles. Then rubs her hands up and down her arms. “It’s cold.”

Seojun pulls his jacket off and slings it over her shoulders. “Go back to your tent,” he tells her with a pat to the arm before he turns around and walks away, not giving her a chance to say anything else.

“Han Seojun,” Jugyeong doesn’t mean to sound meek. She’s usually louder around him, more comfortable. Her voice comes as a surprise to both of them.

He half turns, shifting his weight to one foot with his thumbs hooked in the front pockets of his jeans. “What?”

“Do you want to walk with me?”

The usual poise Seojun carries himself with lights out when the question sinks in. He glances to the woods, then back to her, hands swinging to a stop at his sides. “Okay,” he says softly.

His voice comes as a surprise to both of them too.

 

…

 

Walking with Suho last night was tense. She had to sift through multiple subjects to finally find something to talk to him about.

It’s different with Seojun.

“Your brother has a crush on Gowoon.”

Jugyeong snorts. 

“What’s so funny?!” Seojun exclaims, always one to jump to his sister’s defense.

“Nothing,” Jugyeong promises. “I just remembered telling him he’s going to end up crushing on a girl who looks like me under all—” she cuts herself short and presses her lips together. Shit. “Ah…Never mind,” she laughs nervously, rubbing at a spot beneath her ear.

Seojun pushes his arm against her shoulder. “You can finish that sentence,” he voices. “I already know. I saw you washing your nightgown this morning.”

Jugyeong’s heart snags on a beat, her stride coming to a sudden halt. Seojun doesn’t seem to notice, walking a few more steps before stopping and turning to her. “What? Not coming?”

Jugyeong stares at him, anxiety clutching at every muscle in her body and lodging her in place. He can’t know. He can’t possibly know. Not with the way he’s acting like— like they’re talking about the weather or something.

“What?” she chokes out.

Seojun looks confused. “What what?” he arches a brow.

“Do you—” her voice tapers off, the heat of fear at being found out crawling up the length of her back and making her hair stick to her neck. “How—”

It takes a few seconds for things to click. Then a smile sprawls itself lazily across Seojun’s face and he retreats the steps he’d taken. “Yah,” he points a finger in her face. “I know I don’t look smart, but I’m very observant.”

Jugyeong’s mouth feels dry as she looks up at him, rummaging his expression for any sign of… anything other than calmness. He’s never one to give his emotions away.

Seojun has a sister he calls his pretty girl despite her not fitting society’s dumb beauty standards. He had a friend who killed himself due to bullying. He’s not shallow and he’s not a bully. But still.

“You’re…You’re okay with it?”

“You’re pretty either way,” Seojun shrugs. Then he stops and hisses. “I didn’t like the mud mask though. Unsanitary.” 

A bout of laughter falls from Jugyeong’s mouth, relieved and…happy. Which only makes Seojun’s grin widen. “Come on,” he nods his head to the side and walks abreast of her.

The silence following isn’t strained. They could not talk for hours on end and it still wouldn’t get awkward. But Jugyeong still feels a need to explain herself. “Back at my old school…” she begins, drawing her shoulders up to her ears. Talking about it never fails to mess her up. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Seojun interrupts. “Does makeup make you feel good?”

“Yes.”

“Confident?”

Jugyeong nods silently.

“Then you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone,” Seojun states.

Jugyeong looks at him, his relaxed features as he looks up at the sky. She takes a breath, then slowly reaches for his hand, swinging lax at his side.

It feels.

Right.

He glances at her briefly, then strokes a thumb over her skin and pushes both their hands into the pocket of his hoodie.

Jugyeong’s heart feels like it might beat out of her chest, feels double its size as she pulls her gaze away from him and to the view he’s admiring. “Aah,” she murmurs at the stars. “Beautiful.”

“Do you know what’s even more beautiful?” Seojun questions, side-eyeing her.

Jugyeong can already feel the heat of an impending blush blossoming on her cheeks. “What?”

“Me.”

Jugyeong huffs, tutting her tongue as a laugh bubbles out of her. She pushes her side into his and it makes Seojun laugh too, raucous and spirited with his head tipped back.

And. Yeah. He’s beautiful.

They fall into amiable conversation on the way back to the tents and cower to hide from Cho-Rong and the gang when they sneak past them and into the woods in search of the Spirit of the Well. 

“Get inside, it’s cold,” Seojun whispers to her from behind. He nudges her forward with a shoulder. 

Jugyeong nearly stumbles, turning around to scowl at him when he grabs her by the shoulders to keep her steady. He offers her a two-finger salute. “Good night,” he intones, teasing if anything.

Her lips twitch, then she smiles, pushing her hair away from her face. She leans up and presses her lips to his cheek. It feels fit.

The kiss lingers longer than necessary, soft and warm against the slope of Seojun’s cheek. 

He doesn’t breathe. Not a single muscle in his body twitches. Like he believes that if he doesn’t move they can stay like this. Hidden away from the rest of the world and pressed together as if they’re… more. Something. Anything except what they are.

Because Jugyeong’s drawn a line in the sand and Seojun’s wobbling on it, wants to disrupt it with the toe of his boot more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life.

“Jugyeong,” he whispers when she pulls back, blinking away emotions he’s not allowed to give in to. 

She looks up at him and his resolve snaps in two. He lifts his hands to cup her face, looking between her eyes like she hung the moon and stars and everything in between. He should say good night. He should stop whatever this is while he still has the chance to. He’s being selfish. But his mother always told him to live without regrets, so. “Lim Jugyeong, I—”

She interrupts him this time, placing her hands atop his and stealing his words right off his lips, locking them in with her own.

She’s kissing him. And everything’s falling into place and losing all sense in chorus. Nothing matters except for the feeling of Jugyeong’s mouth on his, too much and not nearly enough.

When he kisses back, it’s hot and desperate, and Seojun wonders when during the night he’d lost his heart and placed it in delicate hands that are now framing the cut of his jaw.

He licks her mouth open, kisses her deeper and swallows the moan she lets out like he's starving for it. 

The kiss grows softer, until they’re just smiling against each other’s lips, until they’re laughing into each other’s mouths. Seojun’s eyes fall closed, breath warm against the corner of her mouth.

He’s not sure how long they stay like that, blanketed in darkness and basking in the afterglow of their first kiss, but Jugyeong steps away first. “Good night,” she speaks softly, tightening the leather jacket around her shoulders.

And when she wears it the next day, as naturally as the smile she carries around, Seojun’s sure his heart will never beat for another quite like it does for her.