Chapter Text
The three cyborg laws, as stated by the creator of the first cyborg, Wei WuXian:
1. A cyborg must not forget their humanity.
2. Making someone into a cyborg must be born from the needs of the one being converted and not your own.
3. A cyborg has the right to defend themselves as long as it doesn’t conflict with the first law.
In many ways, Wei WuXian was exactly what most people pictured when they were asked to describe what someone who specialized in cybernetics looked like. He had the lab coat, the welding glasses with the dark red lenses that prevented one from being able to see his eyes, the dark shadows under his eyes that screamed of an entire adult life that ran on two or three hours of sleep a night, and the mind that ran at the speed of a methed out cheetah. He had the lab that was equal parts fascinating and frightening, an unholy, chaotic amalgamation of high school biology classroom, mad scientist dungeon, and sleek, state of the art office filled with the latest in robotic parts hanging on the walls like ripe apples on a tree. It was commonplace to enter the place and find a human brain sitting next to a turkey sandwich, and many of his coworkers were waiting for the day he would take a bite out of the wrong one.
What was unusual about this particular robotics expert however was that what often came blasting out of his radio was not what people expected to hear.
But there he was, currently bent over his operating table, scalpel in one hand and tweezers in the other, hovering over a set of a long deceased brain stem and nerves, delicately trying to grab hold of one and attach it to an artificial nerve, hips swaying time to his music while he quietly sang along.
“Cause I'm your ladyyyyy, and you are my man. Whenever you reach for meeee, I'll do all that I can. Lost is how I'm feeling, lying in your”-
His door slammed open, followed by an annoyed, “Turn this shit off, we can hear it all the way in the break room!”
Wei WuXian didn’t even look up at the person, keeping his eyes firmly on his work. “It’s helping me concentrate,” he insisted.
There was a click and then his radio was silent. Thoroughly startled, Wei WuXian jumped and sliced through the brain stem. When he realized what he did, he tossed his scalpel on the table and threw his hands up in the air, exclaiming, “Great! Now this man is dead and his family is going to sue us all because you turned off Celine Dion.”
His coworker rolled her eyes. “What, you think because you created the world’s first functioning cyborg that means you can blast your garbage throughout the building?”
Wei WuXian replied with a straight face, “Yes.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “Just come with me to my office.”
As she started to leave, he trotted up behind her, lifting his glasses onto his forehead. “Uh oh. Tell me Wen Qing, what are the charges this time? Did Jin Zixuan go crying to his father about how he overheard me saying he was an irredeemable sack of shit? That he didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as my sister, let alone marry her? Because if there’s any confusion I’d be happy to say it again to his face.”
Wen Qing said, “If you weren’t as valuable to Lanling Jin as you are, Jin Guangshan would have told you to go take a long walk off a short pier years ago.”
“Ah, but I am valuable. So, I can insult his son as much as I want.”
She refused to look at him as they walked down the long hallway, muttering to herself. Wei WuXian could have sworn he heard her say something like, “Not that he doesn’t deserve it but still,” before she declared in a clearer voice, “Jin Guangshan came to me this morning and told me he wanted me to let you know he wants you to start work on another prototype. And this time he wants to see signs of progress on building the body within three months.”
Wei WuXian faltered in his step, nearly tripping, exclaiming, “Already!? Wen Ning has barely been walking around for a year! Wait, why didn’t he come tell me this himself?”
“I suppose he knows I’d see you eventually and he’s a ‘busy man’ with no time for things like this.”
“Oh yeah, no time to tell the head of his cybernetics department about his idea for another groundbreaking project because he’s too busy hitting the town looking for paid company.”
“Will it make you happier to let you know he wants you to use all the newest upgrades on this model?”
Wei WuXian gasped, lighting up like a kid in the presence of Santa Claus. “Are you serious? Oh my God. Oh holy shit- wait wait, this means I can see the cute tech manager when I go to request the parts. This day just keeps getting better and better!”
“Please let me know when you go so I can watch her reject you, I need a good laugh.”
He snorted, unfazed, and practically danced around her for the rest of the trip.
Wen Qing’s office by contrast was much more organized, everything in its place and clearly visible. This was due mostly to the diligence of her brother, Wen Ning, lab assistant in his previous life, now a walking testament to Wei WuXian’s blooming genius as the first cyborg ever made in the world. The evidence was in her brother’s every bolt, every wire, and every artificial breath. Sure, his design wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing, and by this point it was even becoming dated. If a person could look like a Nokia phone, then that was Wen Ning; function and durability taking precedence. But he was remarkably kind and patient for someone who was the embodiment of a teenager’s first car; full of parts that took certain tricks to get working again, or bolts that just dropped off him for no reason at all. Still, for Wei WuXian’s first desperate attempt at saving someone on the brink of death, he was beautiful.
Wei WuXian was a little sad that they had found him yet again hiding out in here. Technically, Wen Ning was free to wander most of the building, but he was so concerned that he would frighten other people thanks to one incident that involved him making a secretary faint after he accidentally snuck up on her. So, he exiled himself to his sister’s office, Wei WuXian’s lab, and the connecting hallway, wandering between all three locations like a ghost. He had been sitting at Wen Qing’s desk and working on her laptop, perked up when he saw them come in. “Welcome, Wei-Yīshēng!”
“Wen Ning”- he began patiently, but the other man cut him off.
“I know, I know, but it’s a habit to call you that.”
Wei WuXian waved him off. “Well anyway, do you know why your sister dragged me down here?”
“No, I’m sorry,” he answered, bowing his head.
Wen Qing walked over to him, tapping on her laptop and instructing, “While you’re on there, can you pull up the files of those in critical condition at Qishan General?”
He nodded eagerly, immediately setting to work, fingers tapping on the keyboard. Wen Qing looked up at Wei WuXian, and he smiled at her in thanks. Of course she knew exactly the first course of action he’d want to take upon being assigned this new project.
Within a few minutes, the dozen or so files were pulled up, and Wei WuXian was being invited to sit behind the desk. Wen Ning moved, instead pulling up a spare seat so that he could sit next to him and watch. Wen Qing stood on his other side, bending forward so she could look at the screen. Wei WuXian seemed to scan through files at the speed of light while Wen Ning sat there with his mouth hanging open in awe. The doctor made the process look easy, but in truth, it was extremely complicated. He had to decide, based on the patient’s history and the severity of their current condition, whether or not he could consider them. If he did, he then had to go interview their family to not only get their consent on moving forward with the procedure, but also to determine the personality of the patient to see if they would have the mental fortitude to make it through the grueling rehabilitation process.
Needless to say, finding the perfect person was like trying to find a scalpel in Wei WuXian’s lab. There were several patients in comas that likely wouldn’t last the week, others with brains that had been taken over by some form of disease. There were those that had nerve damage that was too extensive to be salvaged. He sighed, shoulders drooping with every case he pulled up and had to exit out of. He was about to admit defeat, when he pulled up the last file on the screen.
The information said the patient’s name was Lan WangJi, and that he’d been involved in a collision with a semi. Pretty standard, many of these patients were in comas because of car accidents. Wei WuXian kept reading. He had a depressed skull fracture and a contusion. A setback, but not a catastrophe. There had been severe bruising to his body and lacerations on his face and arms from some broken glass. Other than that, no other damage that might pose a problem to Wei WuXian. He poked through his medical history, mumbling to himself as he read it aloud. “No mental disorders, thirty-one years old…hmm, severe Rheumatoid arthritis? And he was diagnosed at nine? Holy shit. Poor dude.”
He kept scrolling, excitement building, and pulled up the picture attached to his file. An odd melancholy filled his chest as he took in his face. There was something sad about his eyes, something that made Wei WuXian’s heart twinge. He looked like a cat at the shelter that had given up on anyone adopting it, and if Wei WuXian exited out of his file, it would be like passing by the cage.
“Wen Qing, do you know anything about this guy?” he asked.
Wen Qing squinted and leaned in towards the screen a little further, before she stood up again and said, “Yeah, a bit. I’m not his main doctor, but I assisted in some of his care.”
“What can you tell me about him that’s not in his file?”
She thought for a moment, before answering, “Well, when he was pulled from his car after the crash, he stayed awake long enough to say, ‘Call A-Yuan,’ a few times. We found out that’s his son, Lan Sizhui, and both him and Lan WangJi’s brother, Lan XiChen were the ones sitting by his bed last time I saw him.”
“Is that his only family? No parents, no spouse?”
“As far as I know. Hmm…I think his son was adopted. I don’t know the circumstances behind that. It was just the two of them living together.”
“Did they happen to tell you anything about like, his hobbies? Maybe his personality?”
“I guess Lan WangJi has been a bit estranged from his family for the last decade, according to his brother. The most I got out of him was that he liked playing the guqin”-
“Who plays the guqin in 2047 oh my God”-
-“he liked playing the guqin, and he was a very serious man who was hard to read. Even his own family had trouble figuring him out when he lived with them. I got a chance to talk to his son, and he told me that he knew his dad was in pain a lot, but he never said anything about it. In the last few years apparently he started doing less and less, relying on Lan Sizhui to do much of the housework. He really knew something was wrong though when he stopped playing. And that’s how they’ve been existing for a while now.”
Wei WuXian put his elbows on the desk and folded his hands together under his nose, brows furrowed as he processed this. He muttered incomprehensibly under his breath, as if carrying out a full-blown debate in his head, pointing to random areas on the desk and shaking his head. Wen Ning and Wen Qing looked at each other behind his back, eyebrows raised.
Eventually, Wei WuXian returned to reality and sat back in the chair, fixing Lan WangJi’s photo with another intense stare. Folding his arms, he finally decided, “Well, he’s the most likely candidate I’ve seen in the whole list. Since we’re on such a tight deadline, I suppose it can’t hurt to look further into him. His brother’s email listed anywhere?”
Wen Qing answered, “He’s on file at Qishan General too. It should be in there.”
“Perfect. If you’ll please send it to me, I’ll shoot off a message to him about meeting.”
She fixed him with a critical look. “Are you sure? You could wait a couple days to see if someone else more suitable might come along. You’ve only got one shot at this, you know. You can’t just waltz in there, give this guy’s family hope and then take it away from them. Not to mention the confidentiality of the program”-
“I know, I got it, trust me.” He grinned up at her. “If I wasn’t serious, I wouldn’t suggest it. If he was in as much pain as his son says he was, then this procedure could not only save his life, but improve the quality of it. And I mean besides, did you get a look at his picture? I need to send flowers to myself now.” He fanned his face, and Wen Qing rolled her eyes into the sun.
“I swear Wei WuXian if you picked him just because he’s hot”-
Jokingly, he replied, “I mean, why else did you think I chose to operate on your brother? Certainly wasn’t because of how sweet and kind his sister is- Ow I’m sorry holy shit!”
She smacked him on the back of the head so hard he nearly fell out of his chair, and the idiot had the nerve to fall into a laughing fit while Wen Ning exclaimed, “Wei-Yīshēng, are you okay!?”
After that, Wei WuXian wasted no time scurrying back to his office, and found that in that time, Wen Qing had sent him the email address. Fingers flying across his keyboard, Wei WuXian typed out a message to Lan XiChen.
Mr. Lan,
My name is Wei WuXian, head of the cybernetics department at Lanling Jin Robotics. I have something I would like to discuss with you regarding your brother. Sadly I can’t reveal much more than that here in this email. But if you’re interested in what I have to say, let me know a time I can schedule an appointment to speak with you in person.
After reading it over a few times, he sent it, and then having no clue what to do afterwards, got up and started all but pacing around his lab. He tried to tidy up, tried to go back to what he had been doing before Wen Qing interrupted him, but it was impossible.
Luck must have been on his side, because not fifteen minutes later, he heard his computer ding, and he raced over, seeing a reply from Lan XiChen in his inbox. He could feel sweat prickling along his hairline as he opened it, but the anxiety was immediately replaced by euphoria when he read the reply.
Wei-Yīshēng,
To say I was surprised to receive an email from anyone at Lanling Jin would be a massive understatement. However, it succeeded in piquing my curiosity. Yes, I would like to meet. Any time at Qishan General is fine. I’ll let the hospital know that you’re coming.
Regards,
Lan XiChen
Wei WuXian couldn’t quite stop himself from squealing and doing a happy dance.
He typed another quick reply, saying he’d be there tomorrow, before hopping to his feet again. Once more, his mind began to race with thoughts of everything he was going to have to do to not only prepare for this meeting, but to prepare for this procedure.
If Lan XiChen agreed to it.
Wei WuXian shook his head. Never mind the details. His mind was suddenly bursting with inspiration, and he could hardly contain himself. He practically flew back into his operating room and slammed the door shut, turning Celine Dion back on again at full volume.
Hours later, when everyone was clocking out for the day, Jiang Cheng walked into Lanling Jin Robotics. Though he didn’t work there, many people knew who he was, and who he was there for, including Wen Qing. When she saw him at the front door, she walked purposefully over to him.
“Let me guess,” he said, crossing his arms. “He’s locked himself up in his lab.”
Wen Qing smirked. “Yes, but I have a key.”
She turned and headed right back up the stairs she had just walked down, Jiang Cheng following her. He observed, “You know, if it weren’t for me and you, that fucking idiot would die in there from dehydration. Here I thought, ‘Oh when he moves out and no one is there to take care of him anymore he’ll have to learn how to adult.”
“I think all he’s had today is tea he poured an entire can of Monster into and like half a grape.”
Jiang Cheng shuddered. “He’s so lucky it’s me picking him up and not our sister. She’d fucking faint.”
In no time, they were entering Wei WuXian’s lab. In truth, Jiang Cheng could have found his way in here himself, but after one time of being yelled at by security, he had to be escorted by a member of the staff every single time he wanted to pick his brother up, and that staff member was usually Wen Qing. As such, the two of them had become almost as good of friends as Wei WuXian was with her.
“He probably forgot, so I’ll ask,” Jiang Cheng said. “Did you want to join us tonight?”
“No thanks,” she answered. “Next time. It’s been a long day. Lanling Jin assigned your brother his next big project and I’ve been helping him with it for most of the day as well as juggling my own shit. I’m sure he’ll tell you everything he can about it tonight.”
“Oh God, I just hope that Monster has worn off by now, otherwise he’ll be hopping on the table and turning his explanation into a theatrical performance. I don’t know what’s worse, him being drunk or caffeinated.”
Wen Qing unlocked the door for him, cringing when “Someday My Prince Will Come” smacked into them like a brick wall. Wei WuXian twirled lightly across the floor, picking up a tool off the wall and bring it back to his operating table, oblivious to their presence as he sang along. Wen Qing left the second the door opened, muttering something like, “Nope, that’s enough for one day,” leaving Jiang Cheng alone with him.
Without a word, he went over and shut off the radio, which caused Wei WuXian to freeze. He slowly looked up at him, face shadowed and demanding in a voice full of despair and irritation, “Get on the table.”
“Not enough time I’m afraid,” Jiang Cheng answered. “Our reservation is thirty minutes from now and Nie Huaisang is already waiting for us.”
“I’ve removed a spleen in fifteen before.” He grinned, a terrifying, mad scientist grin he’d perfected over the years, red lenses glowing thanks to the florescent lights. Jiang Cheng wrinkled his nose.
“God don’t smile at me like that, you look like Dr. fucking Frankenstein,” he said.
“How appropriate, you look like Frankenstein’s monster.”
“Wei WuXian get your ass down to the car before I shove my foot in it.”
“Wait, if your foot is in my ass, how will you drive?”
Jiang Cheng lunged, and Wei WuXian zipped past him, cackling, shedding his lab coat and glasses along the way.
They managed to make it to the restaurant on time, thanks to the fact that Jiang Cheng’s foot miraculously remained ass free. Jiang Cheng and his roommate, Nie Huaisang made it a point to go out to eat, either together or more often than not, with Wei WuXian at least once a week or so. The three of them had gone to college together, each studying different science fields. Now, Nie Huaisang was a pharmacist and Jiang Cheng was poised to take over his father’s practice as an eye doctor. Already, he was coming to Wei WuXian with proposals to create functioning cybernetic eyes for the blind, proposals Wei WuXian was only too happy to work on someday, and Nie Huaisang worked closely with Wen Qing’s department. Technically, they both had more than enough money to live on their own, as Wei WuXian did. But as Jiang Cheng had no plans to find a significant other and Nie Huaisang couldn’t seem to make his partners stay for more than a week or two, they remained together for the company. Overall, it seemed to be a good arrangement.
Most days. Today didn’t seem to be one of them.
Once they sat down at their booth, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang launched into a conversation that consisted of whatever complaint they had about each other for the week, Wei WuXian often being the listener and mediator since they had no one else to vent to. Sometimes the complaints were stupid, bizarre, or amusing, and Wei WuXian only tended to tune in if they were the latter. Thankfully, this evening it looked like that was going to be the case.
“Oh God you would not believe the guy Nie Huaisang brought home last Friday,” Jiang Cheng groaned. “The dude only stayed the weekend but it was more than enough. Whenever they fucked it sounded like war. There’d be screams and shit being broken…it was like this guy was behind enemy lines and he was fucking for his freedom. I’m surprised you’re still in one piece.”
He looked over at Nie Huaisang, who hid behind his menu, mumbling, “He was definitely one of the more enthusiastic partners I’ve had.”
“He enthusiastically destroyed your lamp because he said he didn’t like things watching him. I’d say he was more crazy than anything.”
Wei WuXian’s forehead was on the table, his shoulders were shaking with laughter, and when he managed to lift his face, it was beat red. He wheezed, “What in the hell made you bring this dude home?”
“Same reason he brings home all the other ones,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. “He has the libido of a three-balled dog.”
“I do not!” Nie Huaisang insisted, blushing.
“You do,” Wei WuXian snorted. “We shared a wall at college, remember? Did you happen to forget a certain five-way Saturday during our freshman year?”
Nie Huaisang’s blush grew even darker and he looked ready to chuck his menu at Wei WuXian’s smirking face, but thankfully at that moment, their waitress came over to take their order.
The moment Jiang Cheng noticed that she was cute, he cringed, knowing what was coming. He even gave Wei WuXian a look but his brother ignored him. And the thing was, all Wei WuXian did was smile at the waitress and tell her, “We appreciate your hard work,” but that was all it took for her expression to turn shy, and as she left, they noticed her subconsciously fixing her hair. Jiang Cheng kicked him under the table.
“Will you fucking stop it?” he growled. “Why can’t we go anywhere without you flirting with someone?”
Wei WuXian yipped and reached down to rub his shin, saying, “It’s not like that. You know how I get zero action no matter what. I just like to make people smile. They’re having fun, I’m having fun. What’s the problem?”
There was a pause, before Jiang Cheng ran a hand through his hair and said, “If you make it so that we can’t eat here anymore I’m going to break your legs.”
The conversation quickly shifted to them talking about their days at work, and when it got to Wei WuXian’s turn, he was practically bursting at the seams, almost ignoring his dinner when it was put in front of him. The problem was, he couldn’t tell them the full details because of the confidentiality of the program, just speak in vague sentences that conveyed what he was doing was super important and he couldn’t wait to get started on it.
However…
“After spending all day working with some old scraps from some of the latest stuff we have, I realized it’s so different than what I’m used to,” he pointed out forlornly. “Like, I had no idea it’d be this different. It’s way better and more efficient, and I have no doubt that if they gave me more time I’d have it down”- he snapped his fingers –“like that. But I’m only getting three months. And depending on how some things work out, I might have even less time than that. I have no idea if I’m ready. But still, oh my God, the new parts are so cool, they communicate so much more easily with organic tissue, probably because they…”
Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng glanced at each other in a way Wei WuXian recognized. It was a subtle look, and it was probably innocuous, but it still made Wei WuXian feel guilty. It was a look of incomprehension and, though it was probably just his paranoid mind, maybe even annoyance at how much he was boring them. Wei WuXian started bouncing his leg and lowered his gaze to the table. Why didn’t he know how to keep his mouth shut?
Still, Nie Huaisang was kind enough to say, “Well, that’s what you said about your last project. You’ll figure this one out too.”
“Besides, even if you do fuck up, Lanling Jin makes billions. They can afford to get sued,” Jiang Cheng added.
There was a bit of a silence, before Wei WuXian asked in an overly cheery tone, “So what’s going on at work with you guys?”
As Nie Huaisang launched into his story, Wei WuXian listened intently, interjecting when necessary, but his smile for the remainder of the night didn’t quite reach his eyes.
It was almost ten at night when Wei WuXian was dropped back off at his apartment by his brother. And yet, he didn’t feel tired, not one bit. On the contrary, he felt more energized than he had all day. Yes, he was home, but there was still so much to do; there was work he could be doing from home, dusting and mopping that could be done, and furniture he had been meaning to rearrange. Besides, the night was still young.
He paused, and as the long, dark hallway yawned in front of him, he felt an itch settling into his bones and a distant of echo of sorrow squeezing at his chest. He had no idea where it came from, just that he knew it very well and hated it. It was always there to greet him at the door with the same enthusiasm as a pet, and that it seemed muffle all sounds until he could only hear the ringing in his ears.
He shook himself before he could start dwelling on it. Before his thoughts spiraled as they had so many times before.
So, Wei WuXian turned on all the lights as well as some music, tied back his hair into a messy bun, and got to it.
As his apartment filled with light and noise, he could feel his chest loosening, filling with the same euphoria he felt when he was at work. He even started dancing and singing along as he did one last check over the files he wanted to bring to his meeting with Lan XiChen. The excitement only grew as he reread them, and he felt more confident than he had all day. He dared to hope that he would be convincing and that this might actually go well.
By the time his files were meticulously organized, his apartment was sparkling and his living room looked completely different than it did when he first got home, it was nearing two in the morning. Wei WuXian looked at the clock, he groaned in frustration. He hadn’t meant to take that long, but he felt like he’d only been working for at most an hour. Worst still, he didn’t feel relaxed in the slightest. Not good considering he had to be up in three hours.
Should he just stay up the rest of the night? He’d done it before, plenty of times. Still, considering what a big day he had tomorrow, he figured he should at least try to sleep so he could appear at least somewhat coherent. But even after a shower, even when he finally plopped into bed and laid there for an hour, the anxiety wouldn’t go away. The misery that had settled on him when he walked through his door returned full force now that it was dark and quiet again. He could feel it pulling at it him, trying to swallow him whole, forcing thoughts into his head that only ever appeared when he was home late at night.
This is how it will always be.
This is your lot in life.
Everyone just tolerates you.
No one really cares about you.
No one will ever-
Valiantly, he tried to ignore it, firmly shutting his eyes, but all he got for his troubles was a headache. He couldn’t stop the sadness from morphing, growing darker and heavier until it settled into his chest as loneliness. Thick, choking, and all consuming. He tightened his hand into a fist on the empty space of the bed next to him, trying not to imagine-
-but he couldn’t help it.
There was a reason he liked listening to so many love songs. There was a reason he hated being by himself, almost feared it. There was a reason why he flirted so much and each time hoped for the best. Yet, his job- he loved it, he really did- just made it so hard to have the time for such a thing and that was why he was…
Wei WuXian’s throat grew tight.
There was a reason when, in the early hours of the morning, he felt so isolated he would be on the verge of tears, he would imagine someone in bed with him, holding him against their chest, telling him, I’m here. Someone who he knew was his person and who wouldn’t care how much he babbled on and on about work. Someone who cared about him enough to make sure he got to bed at a decent hour. Someone he could take care of.
Someone who would take his hand and hold it all night.
Notes:
Hey everyone! Here I am, back with my latest project, this time a sci-fi fic! I just want to make one thing very clear first and foremost, this AU is not my idea. It belongs to joshua-beeking, who you can find here on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JoshuaBeeking and here on Tumblr: https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/
I saw his art for this AU and when I saw LWJ had RA, I absolutely died because I myself have had RA since I was 18 months old, and loved seeing the representation. So, I just had to ask if I could create a novelization of his beautiful AU, and now I'm very fortunate that he's letting me put my gremlin hands all over it lol. He's very heavily involved with the creation of this story, and everything from the outline to the chapters is being approved by him so that we can both make sure it meets the vision he had in mind. As such, chapters might take a little longer to come out, but it'll all be worth it, I promise! I'm just happy I can finally write about a chronic illness that affects me every day and present it in a realistic manner lol.
The song WWX sings along to in this chapter is Power of Love from Celine Dion.
Above we have a wallpaper joshua-beeking created for this AU! He said he'll create more art for it going forward, so I'll try to add it when it comes out :D.
joshua-beeking also had this to say for this chapter: "First and foremost, an enormous thank you to Caroline for offering to help me write this story and doing a fantastic job on it! I couldn't be more thankful and offer my sincere gratitude! Trying to sort every ideas I had for this AU in order for it to make sense has been a challenge but a fun one and I am excited for it all to develop since this is just the beginning. You will find a lot of Asimov references in this story, though If anyone knows of any Chinese Cyborg Sci-Fi references I could use for this AU , I would be most interested! Stay tuned for everything we got planned and in hope it will be to everyone's enjoyment! Thanks a lot for reading!"
Chapter Text
Wei WuXian’s head thunked as he laid it against the car window, a pitiful groan escaping him. He regretted the action almost the second he did it as his head was jarred. It only made him groan more, and he even threw a few over-exaggerated quiet sobs in there for good measure, until Wen Qing finally told him, “You knew you had this meeting today. Don’t try to get pity from anyone just because you were a dumbass and decided to get plastered the night before.”
He glared at her from the passenger’s seat. At the moment she was driving, so unfortunately there was nothing he could do to retaliate. Except complain more.
“I didn’t drink,” he grumbled, shutting his eyes. “I got an hour of sleep last night, still somehow managed to oversleep, and didn’t have time to get coffee this morning. My head is killing me, I feel nauseous, and I’m contemplating throwing myself out the window so that I can land in front of the eighteen-wheeler behind us just to stop the pain.”
“You’re a fucking adult, Wei WuXian. You should know enough to put yourself to bed at a decent hour.”
“Well, I didn’t and now it hurts, Wen Qing. Everything hurts and I want to die. If you ran over my head with this car it would hurt less. I’d feel less nauseous if I drank bleach. If someone took a dump on me, I’d feel less shitty than I do right now.”
She sighed heavily, shoulders rising and falling with the action, before saying, “Wen Ning, dig through my purse and find the good pain meds for the drama queen. If I have to listen to him whine anymore, I may take him up on that offer to run him over.”
Wen Ning, who was sitting in the backseat, started searching around for said purse. Luckily the fourth individual in the car, Xiao Xingchen, one of Lanling Jin’s prominent and popular lawyers, found it for him and handed it to him. Wen Ning nodded his thanks.
“Good thinking, Wen Qing,” Wei WuXian pointed out, his eyes still closed but his voice a touch more enthusiastic. “This will be good fine motor control practice for him.”
After a few more moments and after much rustling around, he found said bottle of pain meds and, after taking a deep breath, reached in and carefully extricated it. He gritted his teeth, as he lifted it out, praying the bottle wouldn’t start to crumple in his grasp. In the year since he’d become like this, he’d gotten better at controlling his strength, he really had. It was easier to control it when it came to holding bigger, sturdier items. But smaller items, while not as big of a challenge as they had once been, still made him nervous. He had been doing well in his exercises, but there was always that chance he could slip up.
He held his breath as he handed the bottle to Wei WuXian, and the second the other man took hold of it, Wen Ning let go and felt himself relax. Wei WuXian noticed, and mustering a half smile, told him, “See? Knew you could do it. Awesome job.”
Wen Ning positively lit up, figuratively and literally, forehead turning yellow at the praise.
After Wei WuXian popped a couple pills, he sighed, rubbing his temples and saying, “Sorry Xiao-Xiānshēng, I know you didn’t have ‘ride in a clown car’ on your list of things you wanted to do today.”
Xiao Xingchen smiled in amusement, replying, “I can confidently say in my line of work I’ve dealt with much worse.”
Wei WuXian snorted. “Well, at least you have good company back there.”
Their lawyer looked over at the cyborg in the seat opposite him, and Wen Ning dipped his head, forehead turning a deep green at all the attention suddenly being focused on him again. Wei WuXian assured him, “Nothing to be embarrassed about. You are good company. In fact, after this, we’re going to get you used to driving in that body so I don’t have to ride anywhere with her anymore.” He jabbed his thumb towards Wen Qing.
Wen Qing almost retorted back. Almost. But she realized the deeper meaning behind his words at the last second, and kept her mouth shut. Yes, he was joking, but he wasn’t. Naturally, since his surgery, Wen Ning hadn’t braved something like driving, and Wei WuXian making the offer to help him get acquainted with it again was another step in helping Wen Ning feel more independent. More like his old self. So, Wen Qing just shook her head tolerantly.
Besides, the soft smile that appeared on her brother’s face was worth it.
After a few moments of nothing but the roar of other cars passing them on the highway, Xiao Xingchen asked, “I’m guessing you have a reason for bringing Mr. Wen with us?”
Wei WuXian nodded and said cheekily, “He’s going to be our secret weapon.”
“Secret weapon?”
“When we talk to the Lans. No one can say no to Wen Ning.”
“I…see,” Xiao Xingchen said dubiously. He glanced over at the cyborg again, then lowered his eyes to the floor of the car, before fixing his gaze on Wei WuXian again. “I assume you know the risk you’re taking by doing this.”
Wei WuXian just waved him off. “Yes yes. Hence why he’s dressed the way he is. Don’t worry, I don’t think Wen Ning is going to jump on the roof of the hospital and scream his presence to the world either, right Wen Ning?”
Wen Ning, who had been dressed so that most of his body was covered, complete with a hood over his head and facemask in hand to put on when they reached the hospital, replied good naturedly, “I wasn’t planning on it, Wei-Yīshēng.”
“See? There you go.”
Xiao Xingchen sighed, but leaned back in his seat.
Wei WuXian understood his caution. Of course he did. If word got out about Wen Ning before Lanling Jin was ready to release it, their jobs being in jeopardy would be the least of their problems. By sneaking him out of the lab, they were taking a big risk.
But Wei WuXian wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t necessary. Besides, if one wanted to break ground, they had to take risks. And as long as people didn’t stare at him for too long, it would be hard to tell that his appearance was different from anyone else’s. The scientist grinned at Xiao Xingchen in the rearview mirror.
“I promise,” he reassured him, “that we’re gonna kick ass at today’s meeting, and Jin Guangshan is going to leave you a big fat bonus for all the trouble you’re going through for him. If not, I’ll make life for his son hell again. Actually,” he paused, lowering his eyes to the dashboard, “I might just do that anyway.”
Wen Qing snorted, while Wen Ning covered his mouth, though the yellow light on his forehead betrayed him. Xiao Xingchen simply replied, “As you wish, Mr. Wei,” as he too tried to hide a smile.
The pulled into the underground hospital parking lot a few minutes later, miraculously managing to find a parking space away from most of the other patrons. They were all thankful, because even though they were trying to blend in, what with Wen Ning covered from head to toe and Wei WuXian and Wen Qing leaving their lab coats at work- the only thing that gave away their identities being their work IDs- they still stood out. For one thing, they had dressed Wen Ning in a hoodie, and it was already quite warm that day. For another, Xiao Xingchen was in a suit. They’d be extremely lucky if they didn’t get questioned about what they were doing there, or at the very least, get lots of weird looks.
And that was indeed the case when they walked in the front doors and up to the front desk. No one stared at them outright, but they did get a few people looking at them and then quickly looking away. The way Wen Ning was walking was stiff and a bit awkward, and Wei WuXian hoped people would chalk that up to him having mobility problems of some kind and that they wouldn’t hear the slight, metallic creaks of his joints or the sound of springs uncoiling.
When they stopped at the front desk, Wei WuXian was the one who said, “We’re here to see Lan WangJi. His brother might have mentioned we were coming?”
His heart pounded in trepidation, thinking they came all this way and somehow Lan XiChen forgot to tell the hospital that they would be here. As they waited for the nurse to scroll through her computer to find the note that had hopefully left about their arrival, Wen Ning shifted his weight, and to their horror, his ankle made a rather noisy, unmistakable sound of metal scraping against metal.
They all froze, including the receptionist, whose finger stopped scrolling. She gave the four of them a look, and Wei WuXian moved into distraction mode, leaning his forearms onto the desk and offering her a charming smile.
“We really appreciate you looking for us,” he said sweetly. “I know this sort of thing has to get old after a while, and here we are, taking up more of your precious time. You poor thing, how many men have taken advantage of your kind nature?”
The nurse’s expression wasn’t…irritated, per say, but it was getting there. She just stared at him flatly, like she didn’t get paid enough to deal with patrons whose bodies made inexplicable noises and odd men who were trying to flirt with her out of noticing said noises with sparkles practically floating around their heads. She just shook her head and said, “Room 112B. Head straight down the hallway behind me. Take some visitor’s badges with you.”
Wei WuXian looked shattered at the rebuttal. His smile froze on his face and a pitiful squeak was his only verbal response. Wen Qing couldn’t quite hold back a snort and she took said badges for the three of them and moved her I.D so that it was visible.
They walked down the hallway, watching the room numbers increase. It was then that all of a sudden, Wen Qing’s phone began to ring, and when she saw who was calling her, she put her hand up for them all to stop so that she could answer. They watched as she gave short, clipped answers to whoever was on the other end, her shoulders drooping little by little.
She ended the call by saying, “No, I appreciate you telling me. Thank you, I’ll talk to you later.” When she hung up and put the phone back in her pocket, she met Wei WuXian’s eyes solemnly. “That was one of my coworkers, Lan WangJi’s main doctor. She just got a new reading from one of his monitors. His condition is growing worse more quickly than they had imagined, and she said if things keep up at this rate, it’s probably going to drop your three-month window of opportunity to one month.”
Wei WuXian blinked as he stared at her, mind racing as it tried to process this new information. Slowly, he repeated, “One month?”
“One month. If you wait any longer than that, operating on him will most likely be too risky.”
He stood there in the middle of the hallway, everyone watching to see his reaction. Oddly, his expression was pretty flat, as if his mind was moving too fast for his face to even bother trying to keep up. He opened his mouth a couple times before closing it.
Wen Qing walked closer to him, placing her hand on his upper arm. She told him in a soft voice, “If you want to back out now, this is literally your last chance. None of us would blame you.”
He blinked at her, then lowered his gaze, staring at the floor for a minute. Wen Qing could practically see him cringing on the inside, fighting with everything in him not to start screaming in frustration. Finally, he sighed, and said with resignation, “Well, we’re here. We might as well. The Lans could always say no anyway, and if they do, we move onto the next candidate.”
It was the most sensible approach, and Wen Qing had to commend him. She patted his arm and then backed away.
They kept walking until they came across 112B. As they expected, there was only one name plate under the room number. Usually in these intensive care units, that was the case. Standing at the front of the group, Wei WuXian steeled himself, before he poked his head inside and knocked on the door frame.
Two heads within the room turned to look at him. Lan XiChen was sitting by his brother’s bed, and it looked like Wei WuXian’s knock had woken him up, because he was furiously rubbing his eyes and shaking himself to appear more alert. The other person, Lan Sizhui, was sitting on a cot, surrounded by notebooks, loose paper and a laptop. No wonder; Wei WuXian had looked up his file at the hospital as well and found that he was still in high school. He must have been trying to catch up on work he was missing. In both of their faces, he could see overwhelming exhaustion and heartbreak; it was evident in the dark shadows under Lan XiChen’s eyes and in the blankness in Lan Sizhui’s gaze as he stared at his work, as if none of it was sinking in. However, it was only there for a moment before both of them put on polite masks, leaving Wei WuXian to question if he’d seen it after all.
Lan XiChen was the one who got up to greet them first, Lan Sizhui putting away his work and following behind him a moment later. The former went up to the group, shaking Wei WuXian’s hand.
“It’s good to meet you, Wei-Yīshēng,” he said, and oh, Wei WuXian could hear the despair in his voice he was trying to cover up. He gripped his hand and nodded in response.
“Same here.” Simple words, but Wei WuXian meant them. He turned to the people behind him, gesturing to them one by one. “This is Wen-Yīshēng, my coworker. She specializes in neurology. That’s her brother, Wen Ning, and Xiao Xingchen, one of Lanling Jin’s best lawyers. They’ll all be joining us today.”
Lan XiChen dipped his head. “Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules.”
It was then that the sound of the heart monitor as well as an intubation machine began to filter into Wei WuXian’s ears. He looked over Lan XiChen’s shoulder, noticing the bottom half of a hospital bed with someone laying in it. The top half of the body was obscured by the curtain. Slowly, as if in a trance, Wei WuXian walked around him, the others following.
When Lan WangJi’s face was revealed, he would be lying if he didn’t say it felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, his breath leaving him in a rush. In his mind’s eye, he was picturing the young man with the sad eyes he’d seen in Qishan General’s file. Sure. Wei WuXian had been joking, but there was some truth when he pointed out he thought the man was easy on the eyes. He knew the accident was going to have left extensive damage on his body. But imagining it and seeing it were two different things. Lan WangJi’s face was swollen and bruised from what he could see. What he couldn’t was covered in bandages. There was a concave space over his right eye, suggesting it had been removed. Looking further down, he noticed that there were several huge gashes being held together by stitches. Of course, he was as still as stone, the only movement coming from the beeping monitor next to him and the forced inflation of his chest. Wei WuXian let out a long, drawn out sigh.
“I almost didn’t believe it was my brother when I first saw him after they admitted him,” Lan XiChen said.
Wei WuXian replied, “I can’t even imagine how horrible getting that phone call must have been.”
There was a pause, and then Lan Sizhui piped up from his place on the other bed, “But that’s why you’re here, isn’t it Wei-Yīshēng? You have a way you can help?”
Wei WuXian looked over at him and smiled gently. “I hope so. Here, come sit next to your uncle and we can all talk about it.”
Lan Sizhui got up from the bed and did what he was told, coming over to sit on a spare seat next to Lan XiChen. Wen Qing and Xiao Xingchen drew the curtains, as well as looked in the hallway to make sure it was empty. Once the coast was clear, Wei WuXian, standing right in front of the Lans, looked over his shoulder and softly called, “Wen Ning.”
His friend came to stand by his side, looking at Wei WuXian questioningly. Wei WuXian nodded at him, and said, “You only have to show them what you’re comfortable with.”
“I know,” Wen Ning replied, offering a reassuring smile.
Wei WuXian looked at the Lans, and told them seriously, “What you’re about to see and what we’re about to discuss do not leave this room.” Then, he stood aside, and the Lans watched as Wen Ning took off his hood, removed his face mask, and slipped off the hoodie he was wearing. Their mouths fell open, eyes wide as they took in Wen Ning’s white, artificial body, saw the bolts on his joints and the lights on his chest and forehead glow brightly in the dimmed room.
Wei WuXian explained to the Lans, “Ever since I started working at Lanling Jin, they’ve been looking for ways to bring people back from the brink of death, to give them a second chance. It wasn’t until a year ago when I removed Wen Ning’s brain, as well as a few major nerves and transferred them into this body, that it looked like such a thing might be possible. The goal is to make this sort of technology available for the general public so that we can save as many lives as possible.
“The day I messaged you, Jin Guangshan, CEO of Lanling Jin, asked me to come up with another prototype. So, naturally, I needed to find another candidate. And out of all the files at Qishan General, Lan WangJi seemed the most viable.”
“My brother?” Lan XiChen asked at the same time Lan Sizhui said, “My dad?”
“Yes. But I need to collect more information before I can decide for sure whether or not it would be worth anyone’s while to attempt this surgery. Now, I’m assuming you also received the alert that Lan WangJi only has a month left?”
Lan XiChen and Lan Sizhui shared a glance, before they lowered their gazes sadly. Lan XiChen replied, “Yes. They told me they’ve done what they can to alleviate the pressure in his brain, but it looks like it’s not going to decrease like they want to. It’s most likely only going to get worse.”
Wei WuXian nodded at Wen Ning, and the cyborg got dressed again before sitting back near his sister and their lawyer. Wei WuXian sat down in front of the Lans, asking, “What can you tell me about Lan WangJi? All I know about him is what I read in his file here. Tell me about his mannerisms, his personality, and any little habits he might have had. The more information I get now, the more it will help me in creating his new body and calibrating it so that the transition will go more smoothly.”
Stunned, Lan XiChen didn’t answer at first, simply staring at him. Wei WuXian offered him a kind smile and an encouraging nod, before he assured him, “You don’t have to make any decisions right now. You can save that for after our meeting. For now, we can just talk.”
Lan XiChen still looked unsure, but some of the tension went out of his shoulders, and he relaxed more in his seat. Lan Sizhui’s eyes meanwhile were round with awe at the implications of what Wei WuXian was saying. Cautiously, Lan XiChen eventually said, “WangJi and I were raised by our uncle, and in our uncle’s own words, we were the perfect nephews. WangJi always did as he was told, believed that things were black and white in terms of right and wrong. He was stuffy and uptight even as a child. Didn’t have many friends, didn’t even like to play much. One day, he started limping around and our uncle had no idea what was wrong with him, and after a trip to the hospital, that was when we found out he had RA.
“Things were different for all of us from then on. The problem was the pain and how bad it was, as well as the meds they put him on and how they affected him. Some would work, but only for a while. Some had side affects that rivaled the syndrome, and some didn’t work at all. He had to go to physiotherapy, and it was wonderful that there was a program for him in school to go to. I know WangJi hated being seen as different, because he was already trying to blend in. Now he just stood out even more.
“The younger children were more accepting. It was when he got older that things became harder. He never told us what happened at school, but I could see the pain in his face. Oddly enough, his pain seemed to become easier to deal with, but by then, there was another side affect of the RA that began to affect him in earnest. Despite the physiotherapy, certain joints of his started to seize up and lose their mobility. He couldn’t do certain things that you or I take for granted, like sitting on his feet, straightening his arms all the way, or even being able to make a fist. He had to move awkwardly to compensate, and I think that was what other children make fun of him for. It stayed with him, and he withdrew even more.
“After he went to college, he wasn’t the same. He refused to speak to any of us, and instead moved out on his own. I’d heard he adopted Sizhui, and he let us see him, but he never wanted to interact with my uncle or me. I guess what I can tell you about his personality and mannerisms were that they were always tied to the pain he was in. WangJi just was the pain. It made him irritable, depressed, and affected every aspect of his life. I almost don’t know if it’s possible to separate him from the RA.”
Wei WuXian pressed his lips together into a thin line, heart aching from what he heard. He turned to Lan Sizhui and asked, “Is that how he was around you too?”
Lan Sizhui paused, and for the briefest moment looked over at his dad, before turning back to Wei WuXian and answering, “Yes. It’s- I knew things were bad when he stopped playing the guqin. I never asked why, but I didn’t have to. But I mean, no matter how much pain he was in or how irritable he could get, he never let it affect how he treated me. He was always kind to me no matter what. My dad hated asking me to do things for him that he felt he should be able to do for himself, but I never minded. No matter how much I told him that though, I could tell he still felt guilty.”
“Of course,” Wei WuXian nodded. He turned around in his seat, waving Wen Ning over. The cyborg scooted forward with his seat, coming up to sit next to him. “I brought Wen Ning with me today so that you could also ask him some questions about what life as a cyborg is like. I may have built his body, but I can’t exactly tell you what your brother’s future may be like as accurately as he can. So, if there’s anything you want to know, here’s your chance. And Wen Ning, if there’s anything you feel they should know, you can tell them.”
Wen Ning lowered his head, too nervous to look the Lans in the eye. Still, he managed to say, “W-Well, I can start by saying that compared to my other body, this one is remarkably similar in how it ‘feels’ I guess. I expected a bigger difference, but there’s really not. Except now sometimes there’s bugs that need to be fixed, but instead of going to a doctor I go to, um…well, a different doctor.”
He looked over at Wei WuXian, who snorted in response.
Wen Ning added, “Wei- Yīshēng is very good at what he does! The fact that he was able to do what he did when no one else could…if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead. I can’t go out much yet since our existence is a secret, but those that know me, they treat me like any other person. There are those within the building that can be…not so pleasant, but that’s much like how life is normally, isn’t it?”
Lan XiChen stared at him critically, so much so that Wen Ning drew his shoulders up closer to his ears. After a moment that seemed to stretch on for eternity, he finally said, “Then I only have one question for you. Do you have any regrets?”
Wen Ning was slightly taken aback, forehead turning a light green. He fumbled with one of his hoodie sleeves and bounced a leg as he tried to come up with an answer for such a loaded question. Eventually, he just settled on the easiest but most sincere answer. “No. I’m not upset that I was given this second chance. I’m very happy that I’m here. Being alive to see my sister, laugh with Wei-Yīshēng, and give hope to people like you, it makes the bad days worth it.”
There was another silence in which they waited for Lan Sizhui to add onto that question, but maybe he was still slightly in shock, because he kept his mouth shut. So, Wei WuXian concluded, “There you have it. I guess all I really have to add is some of the risks and benefits. First of all, beyond the obvious that we would be saving Lan WangJi’s life if this was carried out successfully, health-wise, his quality of life would improve immensely. There’d be no more RA since his joints would be artificial. Lanling Jin would cover the funding for his new body and the surgery so you wouldn’t have to pay anything. And he wouldn’t be dealing with this process alone. The risks, besides the fact that the surgery might not be successful is everything Wen Ning mentioned: ethical issues, the public’s reaction, and it might be hard for your brother to integrate himself back into society. Not to mention the rehabilitation process is extremely grueling. It took Wen Ning almost the entire year he’s been in this new body to learn how to walk again, and even then, sometimes he struggles. It won’t be an easy process, that’s for sure.”
Lan XiChen drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “So, our options are he dies in a month, he dies in surgery, or he lives but has to hide away from society for years?”
Wen Qing piped up from the back, “There’s also the possibility that he might survive the surgery, but never find the strength to wake up. It all depends on his will. That’s part of why we have to be so careful when selecting a candidate.”
“Right,” Lan XiChen added, laughing humorlessly. He looked over at Lan Sizhui, who was staring back at him pleadingly. He met Wei WuXian’s eyes again saying, “Could you all step outside for a moment? I’d like to talk this over with my nephew.”
“Sure, sure.” Wei WuXian replied.
The four of them got up from their chairs, ushering each other out into the hallway. They stood a respectful distance away from the door so that they wouldn’t hear what was being said as well. Wei WuXian felt like they had stood there for hours, his heart pounding as he went over all the possibilities in his head. Had he missed telling them something? Something vital? Could he have worded what he said differently? Did he ruin their chances? Oh God he had, hadn’t he? Now they were going to have to start looking all over again and they just plain didn’t have time-
It had to be somewhere in the realm of fifteen minutes later that Lan XiChen and Lan Sizhui emerged from the room. The four of them snapped to attention, Wei WuXian’s heart in his throat. He tried to discern their thoughts from their expressions, but they were neutral, and that just made him more nervous.
Finally, Lan XiChen answered, “I suppose we don’t have anything to lose. We’ll do it.”
Wei WuXian let out a relieved sigh, his front half practically sagging forward as the air left his body. He straightened up after a moment, feeling light with joy, before declaring sincerely, “I promise we’ll do everything we can to make sure this is a success. Though I’ve told you the risks, with any luck, you’ll be able to speak with Lan WangJi again in a month.”
Lan XiChen still looked skeptical, but Lan Sizhui’s eyes matched the hope Wei WuXian felt inside. The scientist waved Xiao Xingchen over, and said, “Alright. All that’s left is to have you sign the non-disclosure agreement. Like I said before, all of this has to stay under wraps.”
Despite his obvious trepidation, Lan XiChen declared seriously, “I’ll sign my soul away to the devil if it means there’s any hope of saving my brother.”
And Wei WuXian didn’t doubt him for a second.
For the next month, Wei WuXian carried on as he always had, eating, sleeping and breathing his work, splitting his time between being in the lab and being at the hospital to either learn more about Lan WangJi or take measurements for his new body. But this time he carried it out with a zeal that was different than normal. It was so intense that it actually started to worry some of his coworkers. Whereas before he eventually remembered to eat if someone either left lunch for him in his lab or was physically dragged out, now he either ignored the food left for him or attempts to take him to the break room. If someone spoke to him, he either pretended he didn’t hear them or spoke in clipped sentences, as if he was saying whatever he had to so that they’d leave. Before, sometimes at least he’d figure out he needed to go home at some point, but now he never left unless either Wen Qing or Jiang Cheng dragged him out by his hair. On nights Wei WuXian was being especially difficult, Jiang Cheng even threatened to tell their sister about what was going on, and that seemed to be enough to get him to behave.
When twelve-hour shifts started becoming the norm for Wei WuXian, even Wen Ning started to pitch in, but sadly all it took for him to fold was thinking that Wei WuXian was even the slightest bit irritated with him. Wen Qing didn’t blame him; her brother was always afraid of others not liking him.
She knew why he was working with such a zeal though, of course, and it wasn’t just because of the time limit. As he got closer and closer to the Lan family and as he learned more about Lan WangJi, the more he wanted to succeed for them. In particular, he seemed to have taken a liking to Lan Sizhui. The boy always seemed to be interested in what he was doing and why he was doing it. Maybe he saw himself in him, or maybe he was motivated by the thought of the boy having to grow up without his dad. Either way, it made Wen Qing worried.
One Friday night, Wen Qing happened to drive by Lanling Jin on her way home after a night out with friends. Even from the main road she could see that Wei WuXian’s light was still on, and when she looked at her clock in her car, she saw that it was close to two in the morning. She debated for a couple seconds, glancing between the clock and the building, before sighing in exasperation and taking the exit.
When she walked through the door into the lab, the first thing she noticed was that Wen Ning was asleep on a couch against the wall, the light on his forehead glowing purple. She sighed fondly, going over to him and pushing some of his hair out of his face. The idiot had probably told Wei WuXian he’d stay awake in solidarity or something, and who knows how many times he’d done that this week.
“I got it from here,” she whispered to him.
To her surprise, she didn’t find Wei WuXian in his operating room. Instead, he was slumped over a table, and when she got closer, she saw that he was asleep, his shoulders rising and falling softly as he breathed. The radio above his head was still going, so she turned it off. There were dozens of parts that looked like they belonged to a single forearm and wrist scattered around his head, a pair of tweezers still in his loose grasp. There was a screen on by his head, and Wen Qing saw that it was a surgery simulation, still blinking, waiting for him to continue. Sighing, she shut that off as well. If she could have, she would have asked Wen Ning to carry him to her car so she could take him home, but she didn’t want to wake him. So, she shook his shoulder, saying his name.
Even though she had been gentle in her ministrations and her voice had been soft, Wei WuXian still startled awake like she’d shouted. He looked at her blearily, as if confused as to what she was doing there, before his eyes widened in recognition. He yawned and scrubbed at his eyes, looking at a digital clock above the table, eventually groaning and saying, “Ah shit, I lost an hour. Ugh…thanks for waking me up.”
When he made a move to turn his surgery simulation back on, she caught his wrist. He looked up at her, having the audacity to appear confused. Wen Qing practically growled, “Wei WuXian I swear to all that is holy if you don’t go home and get some sleep this instant I’m going to hold you down and give you a fucking nitrous oxide enema.”
He stretched, raising his arms over his head, back popping. He mumbled half to himself, “It’s alright, I’m fine. I can sleep after all this is over. There’s not much time left.”
“I thought you were supposed to be smart. Even you must know that if you go into the operating room like this, you’re not going to be able to help anyone. Then the promises you’ve been making to Lan WangJi’s brother and son are going to be for nothing.”
He ignored her, making a move to take his wrist back, but she wouldn’t let go. He added tiredly, “Well, if I don’t get enough practice in, then you’re right, I won’t be able to help anyone. So, do you mind?”
She narrowed her eyes, breathing a little more heavily. She’d had it up to here with him and his stubbornness, and she made it evident in the way she ground out his name, “Wei WuXian”-
“Wen Qing,” he countered. He met her eyes, his own bloodshot, but determined and even somewhat irritated. “I mean it. Enough.”
Oh she could have slapped him, especially when he forcefully pulled his wrist out of her grasp and went right back to his work, forcefully ignoring her presence. She stood there helplessly, about to give him another piece of her mind, but stopped herself. What good would it do? Part of the reason she and Wei WuXian clashed and yet also made good partners at work was because they were so similar, and she knew if their roles were reversed, she’d do what he was doing right now.
Wen Qing looked over at her brother, still asleep on the couch a few feet away, obviously having heard none of their conversation, and she remembered back when he was the one who needed the surgery. How she had come to Wei WuXian in a desperate panic, knowing he was studying the possibility of transferring human brains to artificial bodies. How he often said he wanted to try to put his research into practice one day but was nowhere near ready. How she said Wen Ning was dying and if they had any hope of saving him Wei WuXian had to be ready now. How he’d pushed himself to breaking point back then as well.
The Lans right now were probably feeling the same way as she did back then. Even if they didn’t say it, she had seen it in their eyes when she visited them at the hospital. That overwhelming fear, tinged with hope. It was that hope Wei WuXian was fighting for. No wonder he was working so hard. He was trying to perform the same miracle he did back then, and in order to perform a miracle, one has to work at a superhuman level.
Sighing in defeat, she shook her head, before reaching up and turning his radio back on. When some peppy Katy Perry song came floating out of the speakers, she reached down and patted Wei WuXian on the shoulder. He stared up at her in awe, and then smiled in thanks, before silently going back to his screen. But the smile didn’t leave his face.
As Wen Qing left, she gave her brother another fond look. Yes, she knew Wei WuXian could perform the same miracle twice. Even if he didn’t believe it himself.
The night before the surgery, Wei WuXian lay awake in bed, as jittery as ever, as if he had bugs crawling under his skin. No matter how hard he stared at the ceiling, he couldn’t feel himself becoming relaxed at all.
It wasn’t that everything hadn’t been going smoothly up until now, far from it. They were right on schedule. Lan WangJi’s new body was complete and waiting on an operating table at the lab. Lan WangJi himself still hadn’t entered a stage where it would be too risky to operate on him. Just that day, they’d completed the final step in shaving Lan WangJi’s head to place the hair on the new body to make it look more like his old one, a process so meticulous and lengthy it had taken the entire day and Wen Qing’s help to finish it. Lan XiChen and Lan Sizhui understood everything that was going to happen the next day.
But that was the problem.
Everything felt so final. This was really it. There was no time for him to prepare, no more time to reassure the patient’s family, as well as himself, that he wasn’t going to make any mistakes. With Wen Ning, well, he’d been the first cyborg, so if he hadn’t succeeded, no one would have faulted him except himself, not even Wen Qing. However, now, it felt like there was even more pressure.
He couldn’t take this anymore.
Before he exploded, he reached over and grabbed his phone, called Jiang Cheng, and prayed that he’d pick up at -he looked up at the clock and shuddered- three in the morning. The phone rang and rang, and just when he thought his brother was going to ignore him, he heard his voice on the other end saying groggily, “Wei WuXian you better be on fire and the only thing that can put you out is my piss, because that’s the only reason you’d be calling me this late, isn’t it?”
To Jiang Cheng’s utter shock, when Wei WuXian answered him, it came out as a small, rather pathetic, “You’re right, I’m sorry, it’s just- never mind. I’ll hang up now”-
“No wait,” Jiang Cheng interrupted. “Shit, what happened? You sound terrible.”
Wei WuXian pondered hanging up anyway, but then, unable to hold back anymore, let out the flood of anxiety he’d been holding in all month. He had no idea why he called Jiang Cheng. Maybe because he wanted an honest opinion from a third party who he was close to, and he knew he couldn’t get that from their sister because she’d get all worried, nor could he from their parents because-
Well. He just couldn’t do that.
Of course, he couldn’t be too specific over why he was having so much anxiety, but he tried to get the message across as best he could. It was nearly ten minutes later when he finally, with an arm over his eyes, said, “I just don’t know if I’m good enough. What if I fail? Just because I did this once doesn’t mean I can do it again. If I fuck up then I’m- I really am going to be the disappointment our parents think I am.”
He heard Jiang Cheng sigh deeply on the other end, before he slowly said, “You know that’s not true, that’s just the anxiety talking. You thought you couldn’t do this the first time and look what happened. You’re going to do even better now. And don’t worry about being the family disappointment. You’re not the only one.”
Wei WuXian gripped the phone a little tighter. That’s right. All three of them were considered disappointments in some way to their parents.
“Thanks, Jiang Cheng,” he replied, and he meant it. “I feel a bit better now. Really.”
“Glad to hear it. Now please go to sleep. If you call me again I’m not picking up and I’m coming straight over there with a bottle of chloroform.”
“Funny, Wen Qing threatened me with something like that the other day.”
“I can’t imagine why. Goodnight, Wei WuXian.”
Wei WuXian bid goodnight as well, before finally hanging up the phone, once again laying by himself in the dark silence. However this time, though he wasn’t completely at peace, he finally realized that whatever happened tomorrow, he could only do his best and leave the rest up to fate.
He pulled up some music on his phone, deciding he should at least attempt to get some sleep. When he hit shuffle and one of his favorite songs began playing, he decided to take it as a good omen.
I'm lost as can be.
Then you look at me,
And I am not lost anymore…
Notes:
Insert montage of WWX building LWJ's cyborg body with "Roar" by Katy Perry playing over it here :D Image above is Wen Ning!
Hey guys! I hope you liked this second chapter! Couple things. I got the joke about Jiang Cheng saying he better be on fire from this SNK comic because it wouldn't leave my brain and I thought it was funny: https://dinklebert.tumblr.com/post/173710542237/erwinoutfitters-levi-has-to-take-care-of
Then, because Joshua sucks he got me addicted to the unofficial theme song for this AU "Then You Look At Me," more specifically the cover by Riccardo Polidoro, and if I don't write a scene with LWJ and WWX slow dancing to it I might fucking die so. That's where the last few song lyrics are from.
This is what joshua-beeking had to say: "Very satisfied with the result of this chapter and were immensely pleased with all the comments we have received for just one chapter! We hope you enjoy this second one even more for it brings so much more to the table already with a big sidedish of feels! Further comments and feeback is greatly appreciated and a special thank you to the ones recommending me good Sci-Fi Chinese content! Millions of thanks!"
Chapter Text
As Wei WuXian drove to work the next morning, he felt very much like a man on his way to his death. He was eerily calm on the outside, but on the inside, everything was on fire, there were sirens going off and there were distant screams. There was more espresso in his veins than blood, and that along with his horrific levels of anxiety was the only thing keeping him conscious. He felt nauseous despite not having been able to choke down anything for breakfast, and several times thought he was going to have to pull over to dry heave on the side of the road.
It was just barely five in the morning, and so far, there was hardly a soul out on the highway, save for a couple of raccoon dogs scattering into the safety of some bushes when they heard his car roaring by. He usually didn’t have to be at work until eight, so the fact that he was going in this early just added to the weight of the significance of today.
There was no more asking himself if he was ready to do this or not. There was no more convincing himself whether or not he could do it. He simply had to go in there and succeed. There was no other option.
He pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car robotically, the strangeness of his car being almost the only one there practically making him disassociate. As he approached the front doors, he could see the familiar silhouette of Wen Qing waiting for him. Once he got inside, he stopped in front of her, raising his eyebrows, wondering what she was doing there when she should have been in the back waiting for their pre-op meeting to start, but too out of it to question it or fully care why. She met his eyes, gave him a once over, and then just sighed heavily.
“Please promise me after today you’re going to take a few days off to just sleep,” she said, and she sounded like she genuinely was concerned.
He didn’t answer, since she already knew what he was going to say. Instead, he just offered her a tired smile, and asked, “Is everyone here?”
“Just about.”
“Good. We’ll give them a few more minutes to settle in. Then when our patient gets here, we can get this show on the road.”
He was just about to start heading towards the meeting room where he planned on giving said rundown, when all of a sudden, he heard the sound of metallic footsteps pounding against the tile floor. He knew it was Wen Ning before he even appeared around the corner, the other man barefoot and without a shirt, hair disheveled, most likely only just realizing what time it was and hastily throwing on some pants before making his way down.
“Wei-Yīshēng!” he called out. He practically skidded to a stop in front of him, breathing heavily. “Wei-Yīshēng.”
Wei WuXian turned to face him, before Wen Ning surprised him by pulling him into a hug, and whispering, “You can do it. I’m proof that you can. The Lans and I all have faith in you.”
His eyes widened over Wen Ning’s shoulder, before he found himself hugging back. For some reason, hearing those words from his former patient made his eyes sting, and he had to take a deep breath to prevent himself from crying.
Wei WuXian pulled out of the embrace, but kept his hands on Wen Ning’s shoulders. He patted one of them, and said, “That…That means a lot. Thank you.”
Wen Ning positively beamed, forehead lighting up yellow.
Wei WuXian turned to Wen Qing. “Alright. Let’s get going.”
He then offered one last nod to Wen Ning, who watched them leave, smile never slipping off his face.
By the time they arrived in the meeting room, his entire team of thirty-three individuals were all waiting for him, seated at several round tables and talking amongst themselves. When they saw him and Wen Qing come in though, they all quieted down, turning their eyes on them.
Wei WuXian stood up straight, the espresso making him jittery and more stiff than usual. He cleared his throat and began, “Alright. Looks like it’s just about half past five. The transporter bringing us our patient will be here soon, and since you’ve been given several briefings on what’s expected of us for this operation, I’m going to keep this short. Our main goal is ultimately, of course, successful transportation of Lan WangJi into his new cybernetic body. As with Wen Ning, in order to accomplish that, we are focusing on the removal of the brain, brain stem, and all twelve pairs of cranial nerves, before we attach those to their corresponding artificial nerve endings. We’re going to take this nice and slow and work through this surgery in shifts. No one is going to work longer than two hours at a time so everyone stays fresh. No one does anything without my or Wen-Yīshēng’s say so. Is that clear?”
Everyone either stayed silent or shook their heads. So, he turned to Wen Qing and asked, “Anything you want to add?”
She nodded and said, “We’re estimating a time of twenty-one hours for this surgery. Five of those hours are going to be spent removing the brain, five for the nerves and brain stem, and the rest will be attaching everything correctly. I’m going to handle everything to do with the human body, the cyborg body will be Wei-Yīshēng’s area. This is going to be an extremely delicate process. No one so much as passes gas in there without prior approval from either of us. Those that aren’t in the operating room because they’re on break or on standby are encouraged to come in here, where we’re going to have this monitor on, so they can still keep track of what’s going on.” She pointed to the t.v above her head. “Now, if everyone is still clear on what’s happening, then I think we can head in.”
Still, everyone stayed quiet, some now with grave expressions on their faces as they processed the severity of the situation. So, Wen Qing told them, “Alright. I want another surgeon, two anesthesiologists, all the interns and six nurses going into the operating room to prep for surgery. Scrub in, suit up, and bring the new body in as carefully as possible. I’ll follow you in, while Wei-Yīshēng meets the transporters at the door. I want a few nurses and circulating techs going with him. Everyone needs to be focused and on top of their game starting now. Those remaining, be on standby. We’ll call you in when we need you.”
All at once, a controlled flurry of activity began as everyone rushed to do what she said. Wen Qing glanced over her shoulder, offering Wei WuXian one final look of encouragement, before she left the room with most of their team. The nurses and circulating techs that had stayed behind in the room were on their feet, waiting, and after flexing his hands a few times, Wei WuXian put on a bright smile and waved them over. Just like Wen Qing and her team, his own small team followed him.
When they made it to the front of the building, the transporter still wasn’t there, so they made small-talk. When Wei WuXian wasn’t talking, he was shifting from foot to foot, muscles practically twitching. He felt like a thoroughbred before a race, how they pranced in place and sweated in anticipation for the big event.
Just when he felt like he was going explode, he saw the headlights of the transporter as the car pulled into the parking lot. Just behind it was a regular car that Wei WuXian assumed was being driven by Lan XiChen, and sure enough, when it got close enough, he saw that yes, the man was in the driver’s seat and Lan Sizhui was in the passenger’s seat. The transporters slowly halted in front of them, backing up towards the building, and it was only when the car completely stopped that the back doors opened and several people hopped out. He watched as they worked to slowly ease Lan WangJi out and down a ramp they pulled out, as well as the mobile intubation machine he was hooked up to, the only thing keeping him alive at the moment. Once he was on the ground, the nurses and circulating techs surrounded the gurney, working on carefully pushing it over the sidewalk and in towards the front doors.
Wei WuXian was just about to join them, when he heard another set of car doors slamming and looked over to see Lan XiChen and Lan Sizhui approaching him. As they had every time before, they looked exhausted. Wei WuXian sighed, and then put on a smile as they stopped in front of him.
“Just the people I wanted to see,” he said as cheerfully as he could under the circumstances. “Follow me. I’ve got a room set up for you guys.”
When he asked if they wanted to stay for the entirety of the surgery a few weeks ago and they responded with two very serious yeses, he went ahead and set up a private room for them. It was close to the operating room so they could look through the large windows to the room if they wanted. It also had a large couch that could fold out into a bed, a few very comfortable chairs and a table, as well as a t.v. The two Lans had come prepared as well, both of them carrying overnight bags. When they got inside the room, they plopped said bags down on the floor. Both of them looked like they wanted nothing more than to pass out on that couch, but were too antsy to do so at the same time. Their expressions were lost and grim.
Gently, Wei WuXian told them, “I’ll keep you guys updated throughout the day when I go on my breaks as to how things are going. Hopefully by this time tomorrow, you’ll both be able to talk to him.”
Lan Sizhui lit up, saying eagerly, “If you did it once, you can definitely do it again, and even better this time!”
Wei WuXian laughed, embarrassed, and rubbed the back of his head. “Funny, that’s what Wen Ning said to me this morning too.”
Lan XiChen on the other hand looked more skeptical. Understandable, of course. He was probably so used to things going wrong and hearing nothing but bad news recently that he was expecting the trend to continue. Maybe that was why he tempered his nephew’s response with the words, “Everything will work out how it’s supposed to, one way or another.”
Wei WuXian maintained his smile when he replied, “That’s right. But here at Lanling Jin, it’s our job to make the impossible possible. I wouldn’t be here if the Jins didn’t think I could do that.”
The words were enough to make Lan XiChen smile the tiniest bit.
Wei WuXian let his arms swing down to his sides and said, “Alright, well I need to be off. Make yourselves at home. I’ll probably see you in time for lunch. Get some rest until then, if you can manage. It’s going to be a long day, and we’ll all need to pace ourselves.”
When he left the room, he spent the whole walk to the operating room psyching himself up, and by the time he got there, he could feel the determination within him building. By the time he had scrubbed in and suited up, by the time he looked at the bodies laying side by side on their separate tables, he was ready.
Once again, there was a family waiting for him to make a miracle happen.
“Alright,” he said to everyone in the room. “Since this is a big operation, I think we need to break out the big guns.”
He went over to the radio up on the wall, fiddled with it a bit, until Bohemian Rhapsody came screaming out of the speakers. There were a few nurses who snorted at his choice. He turned away from the radio and pointed a finger at the group, threatening, “Anyone who doesn’t sing along is going to be booted out and replaced.”
And that was how Wei WuXian got a whole surgical team to sing the choir parts to a Queen song during a major operation while he sang the lead parts.
There was method to the madness though, as there always was. Wei WuXian meant it when he said music helped him concentrate, and singing was a way to channel the stress into his chest so he could keep his hands loose. It put him in the zone, making it so he could hyper-focus on the task at hand. At the moment, it was mostly doing what Wen Qing said as she took the lead in the surgery. She helped keep him grounded, knowing that his mind was flying in a million different directions. She made sure that he stayed focused, but looked out for him, and the moment she felt he’d been in there for too long, she was kicking him out and telling him to take a break.
“Go eat something, use the bathroom, whatever,” she said firmly.
Still, it took a lot of convincing to get him to take that first break. He knew it was ridiculous, but he felt guilty if he wasn’t in the room for the entire surgery. “I’m fine, I can last for another hour. Besides you might need me to”-
“Wei WuXian, unless you want my footprint on your ass, you’ll leave in the next five seconds and eat something with lots of sugar in it because I have enough problems without one of them being worried whether or not my stupid head surgeon is going to become hypoglycemic and collapse on top of our patient, now get out.”
But Wei WuXian felt too anxious to eat much, and he couldn’t simply just sit still. So, he decided to use his time wisely and visit the Lans. The second he opened the door, they were practically tossing their laptops aside, Lan XiChen showing the same worry on his face that Lan Sizhui was verbalizing.
“How’s my dad?” he asked, wringing his hands. “Is he- is everything…?”
“He’s doing well, don’t worry,” Wei WuXian assured him. “If it’s alright, I’ll sit here and eat and I’ll tell you what’s going on.”
They all sat together at the table, Lan Sizhui all round eyes as the doctor explained how when he left, they had nearly finished removing the brain and had started on some of the nerves. However, the further he got into his explanation, the more he realized that Lan XiChen was looking a little pale at his words, and he kept swallowing, like he was going to be sick. When Wei WuXian asked if he was alright, he just held up a hand and said, “Sorry. I’ve just never been good with hospitals or surgery. If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a walk and clear my head a bit. Just hearing that WangJi is doing well is enough for me right now.” He glanced over at Lan Sizhui’s laptop screen and smirked, before turning back to his nephew. “Sizhui, why don’t you show Wei-Yīshēng what you’ve been reading?”
He got up and left the room, brushing his hair back. When the door closed behind him, Wei WuXian flinched slightly, saying, “I feel bad, I didn’t mean to upset him. Sometimes I get a little carried away. Did I upset you too? You can say yes, I won’t be offended.”
“Well…” Lan Sizhui looked away, face turning red. He then went and grabbed his laptop before bringing it back to the table. He buried his face in his hands the second he sat down again, and Wei WuXian wondered why for a moment, until he registered exactly what he was looking at. This was a paper he’d had published in an academic journal a few years ago about the science of brain transplants and how that might be possible, as he put it, decades into the future. His lips parted in awe, and he looked over at the boy, who was peeking at him through his fingers. Hastily, Lan Sizhui explained, “I’m writing a final paper for bio and when I was looking up sources, I happened to come across it. I couldn’t put it down.”
Warmth filled Wei WuXian’s chest. “You interested in medicine then?”
“I mean, yeah.” The boy started bouncing one of his legs. “I’ve known for a couple years I’ve wanted to go into the medical field, and I’m planning on declaring biology as my major when I go to college soon. I just had no idea what field I wanted to specialize in. Then you started talking to uncle XiChen and I, and recently I was thinking ‘what Wei-Yīshēng does sounds really cool.’ So maybe when I get graduate, I might want to do something like that.”
Well, Wei WuXian lit up brighter than a star when heard that. There were so few people he could talk about his job with. Even Wen Qing didn’t share his passion for both the human body and robotics. Usually whenever he started getting too technical when talking about his work, people would get bored very fast. He could practically feel himself trembling from a sugar rush that had nothing to do with the giant slushie he was sipping.
“Well, if that’s the case, do you want me to take you to the room where our surgical team is observing your dad’s surgery?” he asked. “I mean, if you want.”
Lan Sizhui straightened up in his chair and a huge smile spread across his cheeks. “Yes!” he gasped, then caught himself, schooling his expression into something more serious. “If that’s okay. I’d hate to get in the way or something.”
“Oh nonsense, you wouldn’t be getting in the way. Here, come with me.”
They left the room, Lan Sizhui trailing behind him like an eager duckling. When they arrived in the observation room, Wei WuXian introduced the boy to the few other nurses and surgeons that were on their breaks, before they both sat down at the end of the table. Lan Sizhui was mesmerized by the screen, wriggling in his seat with barely contained excitement.
“See, that solution the brain is being kept in is very special,” Wei WuXian explained. “It keeps the brain hydrated and alive until we can put it in its permanent home. Right now it looks like they’re removing the olfactory nerve, and when they do, it’ll go with the brain in that solution.”
“They’re so precise!” Lan Sizhui said with awe. “I’m afraid my hands would shake so badly.”
“Nah, with enough practice your hands would get steadier. If I can have steady hands after downing five shots of espresso, you’ll be fine.”
After watching for a while long, Lan Sizhui eventually turned to him and asked, “So Wei-Yīshēng, what’s my dad’s body going to be like? How is it going to work?”
Wei WuXian practically leapt over him to reach the desk next to them to grab a loose sheet of paper and a pen before returning to the table. Lan Sizhui watched as he sketched with surprising artistic talent a rough outline of Lan WangJi’s cyborg body, before explaining with an excited grin, “So, overall, here’s what we’re looking at. The central nervous system is sending electrical impulsion to control everything else. The glowy part in the middle,” he pointed to the spinal column with his pen, “is a specific kind of reactor that transforms the 0,085 watts the brain produces to make signals into enough energy so that his body will be able to move. Now, 0,085 watts is enough to send info to an organic body, but energy-wise a mechanical one is much greedier. So, it’ll work kind of like an amplifier. He’s going to have a rotor that’s always going to be spinning, but it’s not going to be very loud, and you won’t hear it unless you’re really close. It’ll kinda sound like the fan on your computer, just a low hum. You’ll be able to see the reactor glowing on his chest too, right here.” He drew a circle around the area.
“That’s so cool,” Lan Sizhui breathed.
“Isn’t it?” Wei WuXian said giddily. “Now, another thing that’ll be different is the only artificial organs he’s going to have besides the nerves is a set of lungs. The most basic thing your body wants you to do is breathe, and your brain tells you to breathe even when you’re not awake. So, if he doesn’t have a set of lungs, his brain is going to tell him he’s suffocating. To feed the reactor and his flesh organs, he’s going to have a bunch of nutrient capsules that will be stored in the abdominal region. The capsules contain different nutrients and proteins, and he has to change them periodically. Like, once a week.
“Besides the obvious, his body isn’t going to be much different than yours or mine in many ways in terms of structure. However, his body is going to be much stronger and more resistant to damage than it used to be on account on the fact that we’re taking away the biological threshold to his muscle’s limits. As long as the artificial muscle and body can withstand the weight of whatever he’s lifting, he’ll be able to do it. He’s just going to have to be careful not to compress his nerves inside. Your dad will also have improved hearing and eyesight since it's all mechanical. He’ll be able to navigate a dark room like you and I do in the daylight and hear you typing on a computer from a few rooms away.
“But here’s the best part. Remember how your uncle told me when we first met how your dad is always hard to read?” Wei WuXian asked. When Lan Sizhui nodded, he said, “Well, now you won’t have to guess anymore.” He pointed to his own forehead. “You probably noticed this with Wen Ning too, but there’s an LED light on his forehead that’s connected directly to his brain. It’s there so I can make sure his brain is working properly, and it does that by reading all the chemicals the brain produces and translating them into colors that correspond to whatever emotion he’s feeling. It’s a system only I know, but I can share a few of them with you if you’d like.”
“Yes please!” Lan Sizhui said eagerly, sitting up further in his chair. Wei WuXian couldn’t help but laugh.
“Alright, here, I’ll write it down for you.” He did so, writing out each color and its corresponding emotion, explaining them out loud as well. “Blue is the most common one. That just is the standard for a normal, awake state with no particularities. Red indicates adrenaline rushes, usually caused by anger or fear. Light green is cortisol secretion mostly related to high stress levels. Darker green is sort of an offshoot of stress more related to embarrassment. Poor Wen Ning, his forehead is that color a lot. There also deep blue that eventually fades to purple, and that indicates REM sleep. Yellow is when there’s lots of serotonin and dopamine, so that means happiness. There’s also aqua, which shows increased MAO-A, or low serotonin, so sadness. There are others as well, but those are probably the colors you’ll see most often.”
Just then, the alarm on Wei WuXian’s watch went off, causing both him and the boy to jump a foot in the air. He swore, then apologized. “Sorry, looks like my break is over. But hey, during my next one, I’ll come back? And you can stay in here for as long as you want. I don’t think anyone will mind.”
Lan Sizhui grinned at him. “That sounds great! Oh, let me go get my laptop. I need to finish reading your paper.”
Wei WuXian snorted at his eagerness, watching as he got up and practically rushed past him out of the room.
An hour after he returned to surgery, they finally succeeded in removing all the parts of Lan WangJi’s body that they set out to, and the instant Wen Qing made that last snip, everyone couldn’t help but give a little cheer and a couple of the nurses even clapped.
But that was only hour five.
The rest of the twenty-one hours passed by in an odd combination of a blur and also a snail’s pace, like everyone was running a marathon and getting nowhere fast. Wei WuXian was barely aware of his surroundings; his world only consisted of his hands, whatever tool was in them, and his patient. Any time he took a break, he had to be told to do so, and one time he worked for an entire seven hours straight before someone noticed.
During every break, he went to update the Lans on their progress, and every time, he was pleased by how relieved they looked. Even Lan XiChen seemed to loosen up the more times he was told that Lan WangJi was doing well and everything was progressing along smoothly.
Though he hated to admit it, even if he wasn’t tired, Wei WuXian still felt drained and his nerves were frayed beyond belief. But going in and talking to Lan Sizhui rejuvenated him every time. His genuine curiosity about what was happening was refreshing, and Wei WuXian found him a joy to talk to. He even told him at one point, “You know, I haven’t had a conversation with your dad yet, but I’m excited to. If he’s anything like you, I think we’re going to get along very well.”
Lan Sizhui turned pink at the praise and mumbled, “I’m not”-
“No, I mean it. Seriously, if you decide to pursue this passion and want to intern here or something, I’d be happy to put in a word for you.”
The boy gasped and practically fell out of his chair; Wei WuXian might as well have handed him the moon. “Wei-Yīshēng…I- that’s too generous!”
He smiled warmly at Lan Sizhui and said, “Well, you think about it. Take all the time you need. The offer will always be there.”
When he looked at Lan XiChen, the other man was smiling at them, though he was making a poor effort to hide it behind his laptop screen.
When Lan WangJi’s brain was fully attached and the black LED light on his forehead turned grey, one of the nurses burst into happy tears and Wei WuXian was very nearly behind her. It took several deep breaths and a sip of coffee to distract himself until the urge passed. However, the light didn’t turn the blue color he hoped for. Had they done something wrong?
No, it had to be because of the previous damage to his brain due to the car accident. Still, Wei WuXian was worried. What if the light never changed color? What if it stayed like this forever? What if, despite all their hard work, Lan WangJi never found the will to wake up?
No, focus. Wei WuXian gritted his teeth. They could worry about that when they got there.
As they neared the end of the surgery, he had completely shut himself off from his surroundings; all he registered around him was the radio and some distant voices. The radio had been playing a few Cascada songs in a row. He had no idea what tool he was holding in his hand anymore, but he knew the words to Every Time We Touch by heart, and coming up on hour twenty and a half, singing along was the only thing keeping him sane.
The second he attached the final nerve, heard that hum that signified the body was reading its signals, closed Lan WangJi’s body up, stood back and declared, “That’s it, that’s the last of them,” the room erupted into a cacophony of shouts and cheers. Many of the team hugged each other. Some went straight to the floor as their legs gave out. Almost everyone was covered in sweat and weeping with relief. Wen Qing hugged him tightly and told him she was proud of him.
The sound of Lan WangJi’s body humming with life was the sweetest music Wei WuXian had heard all day.
He barely had time to rip off his scrubs before he was racing off to find the Lans. He burst into the room, eyes wide with an almost hysterically excited gleam to them to find Lan Sizhui sitting beside his uncle on the foldout couch, trying and failing to stay awake by reading a book for school, while Lan XiChen had clearly already lost that battle. He startled them both into full awareness with his noisy arrival, and he didn’t even wait for them to wake up fully before he burst out, “Success!”
“Wh-What?” Lan Sizhui said dumbly.
“The surgery was a success,” Wei WuXian explained a little more slowly. “He’s stable now and we’re monitoring his vitals.”
The two of them sighed in relief. The doctor then added more seriously, “Of course you know we’re not out of the woods yet. He’s still in the operating room for now just in case…well, just in case. I can’t let you in there, but if you want to see him, you can.”
The two of them looked at each other, and then nodded. Solemnly, they followed the doctor out of the room and to the operating room, stopping outside and looking through the large window. While Lan Sizhui had passed by here a few times already, Lan XiChen hadn’t been here once, unable to bear the sight of his brother in such a state. Thankfully, his human body had already been taken from the room hours ago, but still, the sight of this new body, one that bore a striking replica of his brother’s face, so still and motionless, clearly made Lan XiChen uneasy. It was almost a case of uncanny valley; it was Lan WangJi, but not, and for the millionth time, he wondered if he had made the right choice.
Thankfully he was pulled out of his spiraling thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. Lan XiChen looked over to see Wei WuXian standing beside him, saying in a quiet, grounding voice, “We’ve all done everything we can. The rest is up to him.”
Lan XiChen smiled the slightest bit. “Yes. You are right. It’s too late for regrets.”
The waiting game that followed was just as tense as the surgery had been, perhaps even more so for Wei WuXian. It was infuriating because he felt as if he should be doing something, and since there was nothing physical for him to be doing with his hands, all he could do was pace and let his mind spiral into dizzying circles of second guesses. Had he really done everything he could? Did he miss something during the surgery, something vital that was keeping his patient from waking up? The fact that he couldn’t find any answers to these questions should have been comforting, but to his agitated, coffee and sugar ridden self, it was maddening. Like the Lans, he stayed close to the operating room and made sure someone was always in the room with Lan WangJi. If he woke up, he was going to want someone there to explain what was going on.
When. When he woke up.
Wei WuXian sighed and scrubbed at his face. Things were going to work out how they were supposed to, like Lan XiChen said. He would give Lan WangJi twelve hours. If nothing happened in that time, then it was safe to say nothing ever would.
Time stood still, suspended in a bubble no one could break out of, and each tick of the clock was the loudest sound in the hospital.
One hour ticked by.
Two.
By hour three, Lan Sizhui and Lan XiChen had gone to sit down on a bench near the operating room. Lan Sizhui looked ready to fall asleep again, nodding off against his uncle’s shoulder. Wei WuXian, who was watching the two of them from inside the room, didn’t blame him. It was nearing five in the morning by this point. Again, he was pacing, only stopping when Wen Qing put her hands on his shoulders and gave him a tired but meaningful look.
Patience. It’s alright. I’m here, whatever happens.
He sighed, his shoulders rising and falling with the motion. She was right.
Before he could thank her, suddenly the beeping on the monitors that were connected to wires on their patient’s head grew louder, the sound of Wei WuXian’s pulse along with it. Louder beeping meant stronger brain waves. He scrambled over to the operating table, Wen Qing following close behind him. Both of them stared down at Lan WangJi’s face, waiting.
A minute passed. Another. Wei WuXian could barely hear the clock ticking anymore over the sound of his heart pounding. The sight of the LED light on their patient’s forehead flickering from gray to blue took his breath away.
And yet it did nothing to compare to the utter elation he felt when at last, the light glowed brighter and Lan WangJi’s eyes opened.
Notes:
Chapter title was Joshua's idea, it means "transplant." :D And above is a more detailed character sheet for what WWX looks like in this AU!
So now the good stuff will officially begin since LWJ is awake lol. But if anyone is curious, as I envisioned what it'd be like when Lan WangJi woke up, I thought of Jake's awakening in Avatar, and so I listened to the music for that part lol.
joshua-beeking had this to say: "I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, don't look too closely on the technobabble but do look at how precious Lan Sizhui is."
I on the other am extremely thankful for the technobabble because my knowledge on this kind of stuff is fucking zero, so thank you very much Joshua xD.
Chapter 4: Mercy Mirror
Notes:
My heart like a planet the sun forgot
Where now? Orbiting the light that I had lost
More than words is silence teaches
How to see and to feel what is real
When sunlight reaches my soul?So look in my mercy mirror
I need you more than I have known - Mercy Mirror, Within Temptation
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan WangJi felt like he had been trapped in a long, dark dream, where the only thing he was aware of was the fact that he was running, and he felt like if he stopped, whatever he was running from would catch him. Though he searched and searched, he never found any light, and the everlasting blackness seemed to be crushing him.
Until finally, something pierced through the darkness, and told him he could stop running.
He had no idea what triggered him to wake up. What he did know was that everything felt…wrong. He was floating in space and all that was around him was nothing, at first. Sounds were the first thing to filter in, but they were muffled and disjointed. Some even skipped like a broken record. He soon became aware that there were lots of sounds from many different sources, but he didn’t recognize any of them. Some were sharp and jolting, others softer. It was all too much, very disorientating. He felt his world tilt, and he had no idea if he was standing up or laying down.
The next thing he became aware of was the sound of his own breathing. It was the only constant thing he could pick out and understand what it was. He concentrated on it and used it to help ground him, knowing that whatever was happening, he was alive. Wait, had there been a reason to worry about that before? There couldn’t have been, right? He had just been…Where had he been? What existed before now? Before the muffled sounds and the long dark? There had to have been something.
He faded a bit, falling back into the darkness, his mind retreating to take another rest. When he became more aware again, this time he registered that he wasn’t floating, but laying down. Far from floating, actually, because his body felt as heavy as a truck. So heavy in fact that he didn’t think he’d ever find the will to-
Wait. A truck. A truck- yes, that was it! The semi! It collided into his memory in bright flashes of color like it had his car. His head had hit the steering wheel and then…piercing sirens, the smell of gas- frantic voices, horrible pain lancing like fire all over his body, a frantic mantra of I have to stay awake, A-Yuan, someone call A-Yuan, he needs to know, stay awake- and then the long dark. But had that really happened? Did he dream that as well?
Where was Sizhui?
There was a rhythmic, insistent sound over his head now, and bit by bit, it became clearer. His brain grew more and more awake as it tried to interpret what it was hearing. It took several repetitions for Lan WangJi to figure out that at least some of the words being said were his name. Not only that, but as time went on, he became aware of another sound, a crackling that had suddenly started up in his head, growing more intense every time more sounds filtered in. It was as if they were coming through speakers, distorted and eerie.
Suddenly, the pressure seemed to build up in his head all at once, before it released with a series of pops that hurt. Worse still, after his ears finished popping, he could hear everything around him clear as day. And everything was loud, so loud it made him flinch. Was everyone around him shouting? His eyes popped open from the shock. He tried to clear his throat, to make his voice work so he could tell them to quiet down.
But nothing came out.
After a moment or two, he realized that even though his eyes were open, he couldn’t see anything other than overwhelming brightness. He tried to lift his head, his hands, anything to give whoever was in the room with him some kind of sign that he was in trouble. But he couldn’t move. He was trapped, blind and voiceless in this heavy husk that wouldn’t obey him. He began to panic, breathing faster until he felt dizzy, mind spiraling. He wanted….wanted-
“Lan WangJi, can you hear me?”
He froze. He didn’t recognize this voice. There was quiet, concerned murmuring from the person, and then they said, “Lan WangJi, blink if you can hear me.”
That was…what? What was going on? But…alright, he could do that. He did as he was asked, and in blinking, the brightness started to clear away from his eyes to reveal shadowy shapes leaning over him. The person who told him to blink said in a softer voice, “I know you’re scared. But don’t worry! We’re going to take this one step at a time, okay? Next, I want you to blink if you can see me. Take your time, no rush.”
Whoever this person was, Lan WangJi appreciated how gently they were speaking to him. It helped clear some of the dizziness from his head, made him feel less out of control. But he didn’t blink, because he still couldn’t pick out anything solid.
“Alright, that’s okay,” the person said lightly. “It might take some time for your nerves to accept and adjust to their new artificial connections, that’s pretty normal. Let’s at least check to see if your eyes are at least responding properly.”
The shadows went away as yet another light was shone in his eyes for a brief moment, before it went away. He heard the voice above him say, “Normal pupillary response, fantastic. Wen Qing, can you check his ears?”
Lan WangJi heard someone snap their fingers beside each ear, and he flinched, scrunching his eyes closed. The voice hastily said, “Oops, sorry. Everything must still be really loud, huh? Here, we’ll quiet down and give you a chance to adjust more.”
Everything went mercifully quiet as the voices stopped. Slowly but surely, as the minutes ticked by, his senses began to calm down. The volume of his surroundings, while still louder than he was used to, started to level out, but more importantly, his vision cleared in increments. First, he could just pick out shadows, then blurry colors, and then those colors began to take recognizable shapes.
Still, Lan WangJi kept his eyes squinted for a long time, because was it just him, or was everything much brighter and clearer than normal? There were four walls around him, for example, but he felt like he shouldn’t be able to see the edge of every individual paint chip on the walls, nor all eight legs of the tiny house spider crawling up one of the cracks from this distance.
It was so startling that he almost forgot that he had to figure out where he was. It was clear he was in some sort of medical setting judging by all the tools that surrounded him. Everything smelled sharp and sterile as well, and there were some scrubs hung up on the walls. Taking a few steadying breaths, he flicked his gaze over to his other side and saw the two shadows, or rather, the two people, that were in the room with him. Judging by their white coats, they were doctors. More of the panic bled away from Lan WangJi’s body as things started to make sense. Of course he’d be in a hospital of some kind after his accident, and chances were good they would have had to perform surgery. When the doctors turned around, he could see that one was a man and the other a woman, and even from here, he could read their nametags. He could even see the some of the individual blues and yellows used to create the black color of the ink that spelled their names.
Both of them approached the table he was laying on, and Wei WuXian glanced up at Lan WangJi’s forehead, seeing that the light was blaring between red and light green. Their patient’s chest was also rising and falling rapidly as he panted. His heart twinged in sympathy for him.
“Looks like your eyes are more in focus now,” he observed, trying to put on the kindest smile he could. “I’m guessing your vision is clearing up?”
Lan WangJi blinked once in response. Encouraged, Wei WuXian continued, “Alright, well, while we’re waiting for everything to settle down, let me tell you what’s going on, because I’m sure you’re very confused. Your family is here though, and after we get through this, we’ll move you into the Recovery Ward so you can see them.”
Lan WangJi blinked again, showing him he understood. He tried to turn his head to face them better, but for some reason it wouldn’t move. He tried again, and again it wouldn’t move. In fact, all he could move at the moment was his face. Seeing that he was struggling, the two doctors stayed close to the table, keeping themselves in his line of sight.
“You’re at Lanling Jin Robotics,” Wei WuXian explained. He pointed to himself, saying, “I’m Wei WuXian, head of cybernetics,” and then pointed to Wen Qing, “and that’s Wen Qing, head of neurobiology. You crashed into a semi a month ago, do you remember that?”
Lan WangJi blinked. Sighing in relief, Wei WuXian continued, “You ended up in a coma as a result of the crash, and your prognosis was not good. At the same time, Lanling Jin wanted me to work on a prototype for our second artificial body, and they asked me to search for another candidate. After coming across your file, I spoke with your family about the possibility of transferring your brain into a different body, more specifically, your brother and your son, and they gave their consent. You’ve just undergone a twenty-one hour surgery, and basically your brain and your nerves are adjusting to their new home. Your senses are a lot sharper in this body than the other, so everything is going to seem very strange for a while. Your new body also weighs twice as much as your old one, so if you’re feeling heavy, that would be why. It’s going to take you some time before you can move or even speak, so don’t worry if you can’t…”
As Wei WuXian spoke, he saw the light on the other man’s forehead change a myriad of colors, perhaps in response to the emotions he was feeling, or perhaps it was just another adjustment his brain was making. But Wei WuXian was afraid he had babbled again, could see that the light on Lan WangJi’s forehead still kept flickering from green to red. Right, time to focus on something else. He asked, “Well it looks like you can see and hear me much better now. How about we try out your voice and check your memory. Can you tell me your phone number?”
Wen Qing glared at him, and Wei WuXian defended himself with, “What? It’s a legit medical question when you check for concussions.”
Try his voice? But it hadn’t…no, calm down. Focus, Lan WangJi told himself. Taking a deep breath, he once again tried to force his voice to work. At first, nothing. But after a few more tries, he could feel sound vibrating in his throat, and he tried again, louder. A crackly, gravelly noise escaped him, and it startled him into silence. But when he flicked his gaze back up to the doctors again, he could see that they were nodding with encouragement, so he tried again.
This time, at last, his voice came out, rough still, but recognizable, and he recited his phone number for them. They sighed in relief.
“So tell me,” Wei WuXian asked, “is that pretty close to what your voice sounded like in your other body? We did scan after scan on your throat to make sure we got the shape right for your vocal chords and I was so worried we”-
“My what?” Lan WangJi asked.
Confused, the two doctors first stared at him, then shared a look with each other. After a moment, Lan WangJi forced out again, “What do you mean by ‘my other body?”
It was then that it hit them. Their patient had absorbed absolutely none of their explanation on what had happened to him. Or maybe he was still in denial over it. Either way, they understood. They had just thrown a lot of information at him, and in his current state, it would be surprising if he got it all. Deciding it would be easier if they just showed him, Wen Qing went and grabbed a mirror in one of the desks, before she held it above his face.
Silence fell over the operating room.
There were virtually no changes in Lan WangJi’s expression; it remained completely flat. But the colors changing on his forehead of course told Wei WuXian everything he needed to know.
Fear. Stress. Sadness. Fear again. Stress, glowing brighter and brighter. The beginnings of a panic attack.
Wei WuXian should have seen this coming. What did he expect? Lan WangJi’s whole world had been turned upside. He wasn’t thinking about the fact that he was alive; he never knew he was dying in the first place. He was finally absorbing that nothing was ever going to be the same as it was before. But to see it play out in front of him, this terror and hurt on his patient’s face as result of his actions….
All he had thought of was the science of it all and how incredible it was going to be to give this sick, dying person a new lease on life.
Wei WuXian felt cold sweat prickle all over his body, and he bowed his head. Quietly, he murmured to Wen Qing, “Take him to Recovery. He should probably be with his family right now.”
He pressed his lips together in a thin line, vaguely hearing her call after him as he left the room. He walked aimlessly down a hallway, searching for a quiet place where he could be alone for a bit. He had earned that for at least a few minutes, he thought. After all, his patient was alive and stable. For the moment, he didn’t need him there. He would probably be happier if he didn’t see any doctors for a bit.
Especially not the doctor who had done this to him.
When Wei WuXian found an empty hallway, he stood there for a moment, swaying unsteadily. It was ridiculously quiet, so much so that he could hear the blood rushing through his ears. He hadn’t even realized how noisy the past two days had been until now. This was-
This was like home. Where he was alone all the time. Trapped in the dark, and now when he closed his eyes at night, all he would see was the terror in Lan WangJi’s eyes as he realized what kind of monster he had been turned into.
Wei WuXian’s heart was pounding, and suddenly every muscle in his body ached so badly it knocked the breath out of him. All at once, the lack of sleep over the past two days hit him, and he was so exhausted. His body started to shake and he couldn’t stop. And-
And he needed a garbage can. Right now.
He found one a couple feet away, and soon he was dry heaving into it, nothing coming up except bile considering it had been hours since he last had anything in his stomach. Even so, all the stress made him so sick that he couldn’t stop for several minutes.
When he finally finished, he barely had the strength to wipe his mouth before he leaned his back against the wall, sliding down it, tears welling up in his eyes and clogging his throat. He didn’t even know why he was crying. For nothing. For everything. Everything that had gone wrong, but also gone horribly right. He could hardly take it. Shaking like he had been thrown in the middle of a freezing winter, Wei WuXian sat there on the floor, heels of his hands pressed into his eyes as he uselessly tried to stop the flow of his tears, teeth gritted against sobs that wanted to push their way out.
He had no idea when he fell asleep, but the next thing he knew was that Wen Qing was next to him, nudging him awake. He lifted his head from his folded arms slowly, gazing up at her, and she shook her head at his appearance. He could only imagine that his eyes were bloodshot and his face was pale, that he looked as worn out as he felt. She squeezed his shoulder.
“You’ve been gone for an hour,” she told him. “Lan WangJi has calmed down some. You were right, being with his family is what he needed. I mean he’s still…well, now he’s beginning to ask questions only you can answer, so…”
Wen Qing trailed off, and Wei WuXian heaved a sigh. Slowly, he got to his feet, stumbling a bit from how dizzy he felt. Even when he scrubbed at his face and stood still for a few more moments to regain his bearings, he didn’t feel any better. His mind wouldn’t stop spinning in dark circles, and Wen Qing knew that look well. He was overthinking things again. Once more, she placed a hand on his shoulder.
Wei WuXian pressed his lips into a thin line, staring at the floor and resolutely refusing to meet her eye.
He followed her, posture subdued the whole way back to the Recovery Ward. It was only when they reached the door that he once again plastered on a smile and straightened up, before going in, not knowing what he was going to find. To his relief though, Lan WangJi’s forehead was blue again, and his family was sitting beside him, both of them with tears shining in their eyes. They were so caught up in talking to him that they didn’t notice the two doctors at first, and it was only when they were right behind them that they lifted their heads and looked at them. Before Wei WuXian could say a word, Lan Sizhui hopped up from his seat and pulled him into a hug, trying to swallow down a sob and failing.
“Thank you,” he wheezed. “Thank you so much. I didn’t think- and now”-
He couldn’t force any more words out, as his throat had closed up around more tears that wanted to escape. Wei WuXian felt warmth seep into his chest, and he returned the hug.
“Don’t mention it,” he replied. “Seeing you talking to your dad again is thanks enough.”
When the boy pulled away, Wei WuXian noticed for a split second that Lan WangJi was looking at them, eyes rolled to the side as far as he could manage without turning his head, before he flicked his gaze back towards the ceiling. After Lan Sizhui had gone to sit back down, Wei WuXian and Wen Qing went up to the bed, putting themselves in Lan WangJi’s line of sight.
“Wen Qing tells me you’re doing better,” Wei WuXian said. “Or rather, as well as you can be given the circumstances.”
Lan WangJi offered no reply, and though he was meeting his eyes, his expression was entirely blank. Feeling awkward, Wei WuXian stumbled over his next words, and oh lord he could hear how fake the cheeriness in his voice was when he said, “O-Okay, so, if you don’t mind, I want to test and see if you can move any parts of your body. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t, it might take a while. Can you try at least wiggling your fingers for me?”
His patient made no moves to indicate that he had heard him, and in that moment, Wei WuXian wished he could be anywhere but here. It was strange. He’d dealt with difficult patients before of course, even patients he grew to despise. But he never cared what they thought about him. Part of being in this field was learning to distance your feelings from your work when the moment called for it, and yet always acting like you genuinely cared. It was a strange paradox.
He had been deeply emotionally entrenched in Wen Ning’s procedure too, but in that case he blamed it on the fact he had known the other man before his surgery. With Lan WangJi, though he didn’t know him before a month ago, he still felt like he knew him thanks to all the files he’d read on him and the extensive interviews he’d had with his family. When you learn so much about a person, from their background to all the little details about their mannerisms and personality, it was hard not to feel at least somewhat connected. And the more he learned about Lan WangJi, the more he felt, Huh, maybe we can be friends after he’s not my patient anymore.
However, it seemed like that little fantasy would always be just that.
Lan WangJi kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling, and after a couple seconds, the light on his forehead turned green. Stress. Wei WuXian sighed, ready to retract his statement and apologize, before leaving. Yet, to his surprise, a moment later he saw that Lan WangJi’s pinky twitched. The green light burned brighter, and it twitched again. Then another finger, and another, until Lan WangJi was able to drum his fingers against the bed, once, twice. He then stopped, releasing the tension in his brow and letting his hand go lax. The light on his forehead faded to blue again.
For the first time since entering the room, Wei WuXian’s face lit up with a genuine smile. “You did it!”
Then, to his utter astonishment, Lan WangJi repeated the motion, drumming his fingers once, before curling them all into a fist. They relaxed, then formed a fist once more, before relaxing again. Wei WuXian could barely hold still, all of his melancholy blown away by elation in the wake of this incredible feat. He was about to say something, but decided against it. The other man was still staring at the ceiling, and from his expression, he wasn’t paying any attention to what Wei WuXian was saying. He got ahold of himself, clamping his lips shut. But before he could apologize for getting too excited, something extraordinary happened. Lan WangJi’s eyes widened the slightest bit, his eyebrows raising, and his lips parted. Wonder. Awe. A delayed reaction to Wei WuXian’s words?
No, something even more remarkable.
“It doesn’t hurt,” Lan WangJi breathed.
When he didn’t explain, Lan XiChen asked, “What doesn’t hurt?”
“…My hands,” he said after a moment.
The resulting silence was almost deafening, and it took Wei WuXian a moment to connect the dots. Of course. Yes that’s- that was half the reason they had done this operation in the first place. He watched as Lan Sizhui’s eyes filled with tears before they dripped down the boy’s nose. Still, he was smiling, and even Lan XiChen bowed his head, a pained smile on his face as well. Though Wei WuXian couldn’t see his eyes, he didn’t need to; he saw tears shine in the fluorescent lights as they fell onto the bed.
Wen Qing was looking at him with concern, and he raised an eyebrow at her, confused, before he felt something warm on his face. Reaching up, he touched one of his cheeks, and to his shock, they were damp. He stared at her, as if she had the answers as to why he was crying.
Maybe he was more tired than he thought.
“Why don’t you go home?” Wen Qing suggested. “Sleep for a few hours, get something to eat, and shower for gods’ sakes”-
Of course, Wei WuXian balked at the suggestion. “I can’t just leave him! Visiting hours are going to be over soon, I don’t want him spending his first night here alone.”
“Will you let me finish?” she huffed. Wei WuXian shut his mouth, and she continued, “Do all of that, and then come back here. I’ll stay with him until you get back. I agree, just in case, one of us needs to be here monitoring him for at least the first few days after surgery, at least until he leaves the Recovery Ward.”
He sighed in relief, before nodding. He looked over her shoulder, wanting to let the Lans know where he was going, but they were still too caught up in each other, so he figured Wen Qing could tell them just as easily if they asked. So, he left the room, practically running on his way out. He figured the sooner he left, the sooner he could come back.
Wei WuXian tried to do as she suggested, he really did. He did in fact manage to choke down some dinner, but to his dismay, most likely due to some lingering stress, it came back up thirty minutes later. He tried to sleep, but again, for the same reason, couldn’t relax. The only thing he accomplished was the shower, so at least he hoped he looked better than he did before he left. Still, when he came back to work and Wen Qing asked if he had done as she asked, he lied and said oh for sure he had.
He could tell by the look she gave him that she didn’t believe him.
Still, she left, leaving Wei WuXian and whatever nurses were on staff to look after their patient. By now it was nearing ten at night, so the building had long been closed to visitors. That meant Lan WangJi was completely alone. Worried, he made a beeline for the Recovery Ward, but to his immense relief, when he got there, he saw that Lan WangJi was already asleep, light on his forehead glowing purple.
Wei WuXian couldn’t help but laugh softly to himself. Lan Sizhui and Lan XiChen had told him what a rigid sleep schedule their family adhered to. No matter what, they were up at five a.m and asleep at nine p.m. Lan Sizhui one time remarked that he was sure even if the world ended and all electricity disappeared, he’d still be able to tell what time it was twice a day thanks to his dad’s strange habit. It was good to see that even having his brain transplanted didn’t affect his schedule.
Wei WuXian watched him for a moment. There were still wires attached to his head that projected his brain waves on a screen behind him. For the next few days, this monitoring would be critical, and everyone would be on high alert for any abnormalities that might appear. If anything went wrong, he and everyone else in the ward would receive an alarm, and that was on top of the checks someone would be doing every ten minutes for the first few days he was in here.
With all this activity, Wei WuXian had to commend him for being able to sleep at all.
He sighed, reluctant to leave for some reason. He chalked his reasoning up to, Well, if I’m here with him, no one will stop by to check on him and it’ll be quieter up here.
Or maybe he just felt guilty for leaving him for those few hours at all.
Wei WuXian folded his arms and rested against the doorframe, watching the monitor above Lan WangJi’s head. The brainwaves were slow now, of course, and he felt soothed by the fact that right now, everything seemed to be okay. Well, everything was, except for the small fact that he had no idea what he was going to say to Lan WangJi when he woke up. Sorry I made you like this? I shouldn’t have listened to your family? If you really want, we can reverse the surgery and allow you to die?
He scrubbed at his face. For once, he wished he could sleep so he could forget about reality for a little while. It was going to drive him mad.
Throughout the night, he stayed either in or near the Recovery Ward, terrified that if he was away from it, something would go wrong. There was always the chance that Lan WangJi’s brain and nerves could reject the artificial nerves, see them as foreign invaders and whatever antibodies were left in his flesh organs might try to fight them. There might be a faulty connection somewhere that would prevent some vital part of his body from working and he didn’t know about it. He could die in his sleep.
Wei WuXian couldn’t help but imagine Lan Sizhui’s face in his mind the first few times they met, the devastation there when he thought his dad might die. The relief when he made it through. Wei WuXian didn’t know what he would do if that hopeless look returned.
Despite his anxiety, despite the constant holding of his breath, despite him thinking any minute now was the minute the alarm in Lan WangJi’s room was going to go off, it never did. Everything stayed quiet throughout the night, and every time he went to check on his patient, Lan WangJi was still asleep, showing no signs of discomfort.
Wei WuXian very nearly wept, almost lost it in fact when Wen Ning came to check on him in the early hours of the morning. He found Wei WuXian sitting on a couch outside the Recovery Ward, and when he sat down next to him, Wei WuXian leaned against his side, letting his head fall on his shoulder.
“Wei-Yisheng?” he asked.
Wei WuXian mumbled, closing his eyes briefly, “Sorry. Just tired. And cold. You’re warm.”
Wen Ning wanted to question him further, but kept his mouth shut. He could feel the other man shaking against him, and suspected he was more than just a little tired. The fact that he was admitting such a thing was a testament to how awful he must be feeling. So, he sat there as a solid pillar of support, allowing his friend to soak in his heat.
After a moment, he heard Wei WuXian ask, “Wen Ning? Did you hate me for what I did to you after you woke up from your surgery?”
Ah, so that was it. Wen Ning looked down at him patiently. “It was a shock for sure. But no, I never did. I understood why you did it.” He paused, smiling gently. “He will too.”
Wei WuXian didn’t reply. He just kept staring into the dark doorway of Lan WangJi’s room.
A few hours before the sun was due to rise, and indeed a few hours before five a.m, Wei WuXian heard the sounds on the monitor inside the room become a little louder and went inside to check it out. Thankfully, nothing seemed to be amiss; Lan WangJi was just waking up. His golden eyes were glowing in the low light, flicking from one dark corner to the next, before they fell on Wei WuXian when he came close enough to the bed. Wei WuXian put on a polite smile, trying to ignore the unease churning in his gut as the other man stared at him, expression still as blank as ever, and forehead light annoyingly blue, giving nothing away.
“Good morning,” Wei WuXian said pleasantly. “I hope you slept well? I mean, from what I saw you did.” A hot wash of embarrassment went down his back as he registered what he said. Quickly, he backtracked, explaining, “I-I mean, we had to monitor you during the night, just in case! The first night is when you’re going to be the most at risk for anything going wrong so- yeah.”
Still, Lan WangJi didn’t say anything. He didn’t even blink. Feeling increasingly flustered, Wei WuXian tried, “Are you feeling pain anywhere? Or anything strange at all?”
More silence. And then, the other man’s eyebrows pinched together into what appeared to be an expression of pain, at what, Wei WuXian didn’t know, but his anxious mind told him it was at his situation. That was where the pain was coming from.
Wei WuXian wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
“I’m- I know you didn’t…” he said after a moment, the smile slowly slipping off his face. He clenched his hands into fists by his side to hide how they were starting to shake. “I know you didn’t ask for this, but- your family”-
“Thank you.”
Wei WuXian’s voice died in his throat and he went completely still. Lan WangJi was still staring at him, lips moving soundlessly for a moment. The doctor hardly dared to breathe.
“I’m alive because of you,” Lan WangJi said. “I understand now. They were so- and I’m….”
The light on his forehead flickered from yellow to aqua and back again. Happiness and sadness. In his mind, he was seeing how Lan Sizhui had been unable to stop crying when he saw that his dad’s eyes were open again, that he was himself. How he’d gone up to this doctor and hugged him, thanking him for what he did. How Lan XiChen kept breathing, “It’s a miracle,” over and over while looking at him.
They didn’t care in what form they had him in. They were just happy they had him.
Wei WuXian nodded a couple times, before he had to turn his face away, feeling tears sting his eyes in earnest. His hand came up to cover his mouth, and he took several deep breaths, trying to steady himself.
Wen Ning was right.
When he felt he could speak again without his voice trembling too badly, Wei WuXian said the only thing he could think of, despite how wholly inadequate it felt for the gravity of the situation.
“You’re welcome.”
Notes:
And finally Lan WangJi is awake and saying things lol. I must say, writing this is getting easier now that he is and I can write him and his man bonding :3.
Lol in which Lan WangJi is Bella from that once scene in Twilight when she woke up as a vampire xD.
Lovely art is from joshua-beeking of course! Many thanks for bringing this heartbreaking scene to life, it very nearly killed me :'D. It's going to be on his socials if you want to give it a like/reblog/retweet, all that good stuff. :3
joshua-beeking had this to say: "I am so happy with the result of this chapter and how we basically serve you a big bowl of pain cherrios and a precious Wen ning. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter and the art that's put in it! I've read every comments and they are such a delight to read. Millions of thanks to everyone!"
Chapter Text
Later that same morning, Wei WuXian was doing what he did best, chattering a mile a minute while he worked. However, he made a conscious effort to keep his voice low and the lights in the room dim, as Lan WangJi flinched whenever he spoke too loudly. Of course, that was to be expected. It would probably take him a few days for his eyes and ears to adjust fully. Still, even though he was going to spend the better part of the next week laying down, Wei WuXian figured they could still use their time wisely. He had told Lan WangJi they would start him on some light physiotherapy, figuring the faster he showed progress, the sooner he could be moved out of the Recovery Ward.
The whole time they worked, starting off with palm stretches where Lan WangJi held his hands open for ten seconds at a time before letting them close into a fist, Wei WuXian, sitting in a chair next to the bed, explained more aspects about his new body. “So you have a total of eight capsules in your abdomen right around here.” He let his palm hover over his own abdomen down by his belly button. “Since you’re not producing things like blood or hormones or what have you, those capsules are there to replace all that. They’re there to feed your flesh organs and keep them healthy. Now, you’re going to have to replace them once a week, and trust me, you’ll know when they’re empty. It’ll feel a little like being hungry, except way worse. From what Wen Ning says, he starts feeling really faint or he gets massive headaches. But don’t worry, I’ll show you how to replace them, and you can do that once you get stronger. You should be okay for now though.”
“Mn,” Lan WangJi replied. It was about all he ever said, and Wei WuXian didn’t know if it was because he still didn’t have the best control over his new vocal cords, or if he just wasn’t talkative by nature. Either way, Wei WuXian tried to encourage responses out of him, because practice was the only way he was going to sound less shaky.
“Now, for your nerves,” Wei WuXian kept going. “Your new artificial ones are mostly concentrated in your hands, all over your head, feet and groin. They’ll register heat and sensations, but you might have noticed they’re really sensitive right now, to the point anything brushing against them is painful. You’ll adjust to that too, don’t worry. But if not, I can always turn down the sensitivity. Just like your old body, you’ll be able to register a certain amount of pain, but just in those areas. Any other place, you can get banged up all you want but you won’t feel anything. That doesn’t mean you can go slamming into brick walls! You have to be careful about not compromising your flesh nerves, because if they get damaged, you’re going to be in a world of hurt.”
Lan WangJi did notice that anything his hands touched at the moment registered as “too much.” Even the blanket they had originally covered him with. The minute he looked distressed, a lightbulb seemed to go off in Wei WuXian’s head without Lan WangJi having to say anything, and the other man was racing off to find the smoothest, softest blanket he could find. Though it still wasn’t perfect, it was much better than before.
“Alright, so, I don’t know if you noticed,” Wei WuXian continued, “but the port where we were supposed to install your genitals is empty.”
Lan WangJi’s hand froze in its exercises, and the light on his forehead turned a deep green. Wei WuXian patted the bed next to where his patient’s hand sat in sympathy. “I know, I know, but it’s important. I didn’t know what you might want installed, and I just wanted you to be comfortable in this body. So, when you want, you let me know what you’d like.”
Well, that was very considerate, Lan WangJi told himself. Still, it didn’t stop his forehead from glowing a little brighter before he mumbled, “Male.”
“Huh?” Wei WuXian asked.
“I identified as male,” Lan WangJi repeated, louder this time.
“Alright then, you got it.” Wei WuXian smiled at him. “I’ll make that my next project, when I have time.”
Oh, that was right, he’d have to make it. Lan WangJi tried not to dwell on that thought too long lest he die from the mortification, and wouldn’t that be a waste considering all the hard work that had been put into keeping him alive.
Wei WuXian must have noticed the tightness of his expression, because he hastily added, “Sorry, I know it’s uncomfortable to talk about. But it’s alright! I’m a doctor, you know? There’s nothing you can tell me that’ll surprise me. Well, maybe not a doctor in the exact sense you’re thinking of. I’m head of cybernetics here. I deal with robotics as much as living tissue, and combining the two is my specialty.”
Was Lan WangJi imagining things or did the smile on the other man’s face fall the tiniest bit when he added, “If you’d like though, I can let you talk to Wen Qing instead? She’s a medical doctor, deals with flesh, non-cybernetic patients exclusively. I know I keep saying it, but we want you to be comfortable here.”
He stared at the other man, thinking about it for a moment. He remembered how when he thanked Wei WuXian, the man had cried, and when he woke up, the first thing Lan Sizhui did when Wei WuXian came in the room was hug him. If his son liked him that much, when he was usually so slow to trust new people…
“I am fine with the way things are,” Lan WangJi told him.
Wei WuXian straightened up, the smile returning on his face full force, though he tried to hide it by ducking his head. “Okay then. You can change your mind at any time though.”
They switched to trying to get Lan WangJi to lift his arms off the table, something that took several minutes of effort and a lot of the man’s forehead being light green throughout the process. When he saw this, Wei WuXian told him he didn’t have to push himself, they could always try again later if he wanted, but Lan WangJi surprised them both by one of his arms coming up off the table a couple centimeters.
Wei WuXian’s cheeks spread into a huge grin and he clapped very softly. “Wow, look at that! It took Wen Ning at least three days before he was able to lift his arms.”
Lan WangJi didn’t comment on that. Instead, he asked after he put his arms down again, “How did you know I was embarrassed earlier?”
The doctor tilted his head at him. “What do you mean?”
“And that I was stressed just now.”
Wei WuXian narrowed his eyes in confusion, before they raised again in realization, and he exclaimed. “Oh! Well, see, the light on your forehead, it changes different colors in reaction to different chemicals your brain produces, and acts like a translator for what emotion you’re feeling. It’s something I devised for you and Wen Ning so that I can make sure your brains are functioning properly. I can give you a list of what each color means if you’d like.”
Lan WangJi felt his insides squirm uncomfortably at the thought of his emotions being on display for everyone to see, to not be able to hide what he was feeling behind a flat façade as he was so used to doing. However, as if he could read his thoughts, Wei WuXian elaborated, “Don’t worry! It’s just me who knows the full meaning behind each and every color. I told Lan Sizhui a few of them too, but not even he knows all of them. Lan XiChen too. But hey, no matter what, no one is going to be able to read your thoughts.”
He sighed. Well, he guessed it was okay if his family knew what they meant. Still, he supposed he was going to have to add this new revelation onto his already long list of adjustments. Truthfully, he was still trying to accept the concept that he wasn’t dead, that he wasn’t even mildly injured anymore. This was…
Well, now was not the time. He could save those thoughts for tonight, when he was all alone, and had no one to keep him company.
For now though, he had this extremely vocal doctor who seemed to treat the silence like a poisonous snake.
They kept working, the minutes flowing one into the other, until Lan WangJi was able to lift his arms nearly halfway to holding them straight in the air. Then, while they let those rest, they moved onto his legs.
“Don’t be discouraged if you can’t get them to move today,” Wei WuXian said. “It’s going to be more difficult because they’re heavier than your arms, and because it requires more neural input. If you can just get them to twitch, I’ll consider that a huge victory.”
Of course, it shouldn’t have surprised him at all when, in the next couple of minutes, Lan WangJi, after putting all of his concentration into the action and nearly burning his forehead light up, got his thighs to jerk an inch off the bed before they flopped back down again. Wei WuXian very nearly squealed in excitement, before he caught himself, remembering that he not only had to be quiet, but he had to be professional. Instead, he beamed down at his patient, praising him with a genuine, “Well done! Alright, I think we can call it good for a bit. I’ll let you rest before we try again in an hour or so?”
Only an hour? It didn’t sound like much, but Lan WangJi found to his surprise that it didn’t take long for his body to recover at all. He supposed without flesh muscles, there could be no lactic acid buildup. Most of the exhaustion was in his mind. Still, it wasn’t so bad. In that time, he was still determined to practice in some capacity, finding it odd to listen to his doctor speak without looking directly at him. So, the entire time he chatted, he kept trying to turn his head in his direction. But every time he made the effort, his head would roll back into place. He felt like an infant that hadn’t developed their neck muscles yet, and for some reason, that made him horrendously embarrassed. Yet, to Wei WuXian’s credit, he didn’t make any comments; he just kept talking, and for that, Lan WangJi was grateful.
“So, obviously, you’re going to have to stay here in the Recovery Ward for quite a while, at least until the danger period has passed,” the other man was saying. “You’re in here because this is basically the center of where the nurses hang out and it’s under heavy watch. That being said, you’ve probably noticed it’s not very private or quiet, but once you’re past the danger period, we’ll move you somewhere else. But we’ll let you get more strength in you before that happens. Other than myself, some other doctors, nurses and your family of course, we’re going to try our best to prevent other people from seeing you.”
“Seeing me?” Lan WangJi asked. He tried to move head again, and he almost got Wei WuXian’s arm in his line of sight before his head rolled back to the center of his pillow. He sighed in frustration, blowing some loose pieces of hair out of his face.
“Yeah.” Wei WuXian frowned and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “At some point, the Lanling Jin higher ups, mostly made up of the Jin family, are going to want to come see you to check on your progress, do a performance review, all that. They can be…pushy. To an annoying degree.”
Oh fantastic. The idea of being scrutinized so closely by strangers, especially pushy strangers, didn’t sound pleasant in the slightest.
The doctor sat up in his seat again, once more putting a smile on his face. “Well, we’ll worry about that when we get there. In the meantime, once we get you sitting up, we can put you in a wheelchair and take you for a tour around the facility. After all, this place is going to be your home for the foreseeable future. It seems scary now, but I promise, it’s very nice! Oh yeah, we have to set up a room for you! I can have Sizhui bring your stuff from home and we can get something close to my lab so I’m not far away in case you need me. If…that’s okay?”
Lan WangJi blinked at him a couple times; the other man had spoken so fast he wondered if he had found time to breathe. His mind was racing at an equally rapid pace, and he felt dizzy from the onslaught of information. His forehead turned green again, and his eyebrows pinched together. Wei WuXian saw this and backtracked.
“Ah, sorry, sorry,” he said. “Sometimes I get a little ahead of myself. Tell me when I do, alright? Just say ‘Wei-Yisheng, shut up, you sound like an auctioneer after too many Red Bulls.’ You won’t offend me, I hear it all the time from Wen Qing. But anyway, what I meant to say is, we’ll just take things one day at a time for now.”
Lan WangJi sighed, and the green faded back to blue. He supposed for now, that was all he could do, all he had been doing. Take things one day, one hour, one minute at a time.
They kept up this routine for a couple of days, Lan WangJi still trying to master raising his arms and legs higher and higher, as well finally being able to turn his head, when he wasn’t asleep that is. For those days, it was quiet, just him and Wei WuXian for the most part doing light physio together with a nurse every time he wasn’t around coming by to check on his vitals and his family visiting in the evenings. On the morning of the second day though, that routine was interrupted when suddenly, they heard the door to the ward open, so suddenly that, without meaning to, Lan WangJi managed to turn his head all the way over so he could look at the noise. Wei WuXian lit up and started to say, “Congrat…” but the word died on his lips when he saw who was at the door.
Jin Zixuan shut the door behind him, squinting against the dim lighting, blinking several times as he let his eyes adjust. He commented, “A bit dark in here isn’t it?”
“Don’t you dare touch that light switch,” Wei WuXian ordered, scowling at him over his shoulder.
Jin Zixuan paused, and then held his hands up in the air in a gesture of surrender. He looked reluctant to walk away from the door, probably sensing how metaphorically cold the air in the room suddenly became. Still, he did so, moving towards the two of them. Wei WuXian turned his back on him and growled, “Do you not know what ‘stay out of the Recovery Ward until further notice’ means?”
“I’m just here to take a brief report back to Jin Guangshan on the status of the subject,” he explained.
Wei WuXian moved a little closer to his patient, as if trying to shield him from view. Lan WangJi had to admit, he was more than a little disconcerted by the expression. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything on this man’s face worse than a few tears so far. Other than that, it had been constant smiles. Now, his upper lip was twitching with the threat of a snarl, and he was practically hovering over Lan WangJi like a feral mother dog might her pup to protect it from a predator.
“Fine, here’s your report: ‘I left the Recovery Ward and went straight to the hospital wing because Wei WuXian ripped my spine out through my ass and reinserted it down my throat.”
Jin Zixuan rolled his eyes. “Will you calm down?”
That was exactly the wrong thing to say. Wei WuXian sprang to his feet, nearly knocking over the chair he was sitting in and rounded on Jin Zixuan. He stalked over to him, steps heavy with his fury. Jin Zixuan narrowed his eyes but didn’t back away, watching as the other man approached. He only stopped when their faces were only an inch or so apart, before Wei WuXian jabbed a finger at him, snarling, “Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! I’ve already told you I don’t know how many times that you need to leave my patient alone. I sent you an email, a handwritten statement, I even put a fucking sign on the door! I couldn’t have made it any clearer! Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on. Lan WangJi is barely two days out of surgery, and you already want to bring your whole damn family in here to start running tests on him!? You listen to me, Jin Zixuan. I’m running on three hours of sleep in just as many days, and you are teasing the nipples of the last fuck I have to give. If I were you, I’d walk right back out through that door, you feel me? And if I catch you or any of the other Jins coming into the Recovery Ward for the rest of the week, I’ll turn all of you into cadavers for the med students to study at Qishan General!”
To Lan WangJi’s surprise, all Jin Zixuan did in response was sigh. He barely even flinched throughout the whole tirade. He then did as Wei WuXian said, turning his back on him and heading to the door. He stopped in front of it, his hand on the handle, only to say, “I’ll tell Jin Guangshan the subject survived the first few nights and seems alert.”
Wei WuXian didn’t reply. He simply watched him go, fuming, shoulders rising and falling in time with his heavy breaths. Shaking his head and all but spitting at the door, he turned on his heel and made his way back to Lan WangJi’s bedside, before pulling his chair back in place and plopping heavily on it.
Lan WangJi blinked at him, several questions on the tip of his tongue. But Wei WuXian dispelled them all with an apologetic smile and a cheerful, “Sorry about that. That’s amazing, that you were able to turn your head, finally, after you’ve been working so hard! Do you want to try turning it the other way and see how long you can hold it there?”
Right. It wasn’t his place to ask such things. Lan WangJi just nodded, and did what he was told. Besides, if he was looking the other way, it would be easier to ignore how haggard his doctor looked, with pieces of his hair coming loose from his partial updo and the shadows under his eyes. But the most telling sign of all that he wasn’t as put together as he was trying to convince Lan WangJi, was the fact that even thought Jin Zixuan had been gone for a couple minutes, his hands wouldn’t stop shaking as they lay there on the bed.
The next day, when Lan XiChen and Lan Sizhui came to visit, for once it seemed like Lan WangJi was more animated than he had ever been. He wasn’t just laying there like a sad lump on his bed, and he didn’t keep falling asleep during their conversations, jolting awake every few minutes to tell them, “I’m not tired, I’m listening.” Maybe to Wei WuXian he looked livelier because, for once, he was able to not only move his head from side to side, but even lift it for a minute at a time, as well as express himself with his hands to a certain degree. His eyes were brighter, less foggy from the morphine they’d had to put in his nutrient capsules for those first few days so that he could tolerate his physio. Granted, it had been severely diluted, as pure morphine going straight to his brain would either put him into another coma or kill him, but it had been more than enough to put him in a stupor. Now, he reached out and chanced touching Lan Sizhui’s sleeve, but when the fabric made an itchy sensation crawl up his arm, he let go. Still, Wei WuXian was proud of the effort he made.
It turned out that even when he was with his family, even as he gained more and more control over his vocal cords, Lan WangJi still remained minimally verbose, choosing to listen more often. It got Wei WuXian in the heart when he’d be in the room and happen to catch the soft, loving expression that passed over Lan WangJi’s face whenever Lan Sizhui rattled on excitedly about something he was doing at school. It was usually something to do with biology.
“We got to dissect a cow’s eye!” he said. “You should have seen it, there’s an actual lens in their eye! It looks like a contact lens, it was so cool. Oh, and we had a fetal pig too. I got to slice through its skull and look at its brain. Did you know their brains look like sponges? I kinda feel bad for the janitor that had to take out the trash at the end of the day but still.”
“I didn’t know those things, no,” Lan WangJi replied in a way that indicated he was quite used to hearing things like this.
“Wei-Yisheng let me watch your surgery too,” Lan Sizhui kept babbling. “I wonder if he’ll let me watch more sometime? It was just so fascinating, the human body is made up of so many interesting parts, like can you believe all those parts have to work together to keep us alive?”
On and on he went. Wei WuXian could barely hold back a snort of amusement. The kid was so cute with how excited he sounded. Wei WuXian wondered if that’s what he sounded like when he was younger.
Oh who was he kidding? He sounded like that now.
Looking over Lan Sizhui’s shoulder, he could see Lan XiChen looking a little sick at the topic of conversation, so he decided to take pity on him, saying, “Hey, you want to grab some dinner at the cafeteria for yourself and Sizhui?”
He could have sworn he heard a soft, “Oh thank God,” uttered under Lan XiChen’s breath before the man stood up from his seat and said, “Yes, that sounds good.” He looked down at his nephew. “What would you like?”
Lan Sizhui stopped in the middle of his rambling to say quickly, “Uh, pork balls? If they have them? Or beef is fine.”
“You got it.”
They left, shutting the door lightly behind them. Once they were a little way down the hall, Lan XiChen said, “You know, earlier, WangJi told me that he can’t get over how much better he feels now.”
Wei WuXian nodded, answering, “That’s good! Yeah, he wasn’t feeling good at all for a while there. It’s good to hear he’s doing better.”
“No, I mean,” Lan XiChen explained, “his joints. You heard him say that first day they didn’t hurt anymore. He still can’t get over much better they are. Before, he always described it as even when they weren’t actively flaring up, they were still sensitive. I’d see him accidentally hit his hand on a chair or something, not even very hard, and look like he was going to throw up. It was…”
He trailed off, shaking his head, before continuing, “At first, I wasn’t sure we made the right decision. Seeing someone you love, barely able to move or speak like that…I was worried he was going to be like that forever. But now, hearing him say things like, seeing the progress he’s made, now I know we made the right choice.”
Wei WuXian smiled. “I understand. It’s like any other surgery though, yeah? The first few weeks are the worst, and the healing is slow. But it happens. Lan WangJi has been progressing wonderfully! He’s beaten all my expectations for this early on, so if he continues like this, he’s going to be up and walking around in maybe half the time Wen Ning was. Maybe it’s because the artificial nerve pathways are more similar to actual nerves, and his nerves are having an easier time communicating with them. This newer technology is the best! I’m gonna have to thank the guy who designed them later.”
“The guy who designed them?”
“Oh yeah. We have a whole team of engineers that work here that design and build the parts for prosthetic limbs, as well as the limbs themselves. I’m always down there bothering them, either for brand new parts or replacement parts because I lose the ones they give me. The head of that department likes to blow my hair off every time I walk in there. I don’t even have to say anything. He just sees the top of my head or something and starts yelling. Like a Pavlovian response.”
From what Lan XiChen had seen, that was a common reaction with just about anyone coming in contact with Wei WuXian, especially the other doctor who had worked on his brother’s surgery, Wen Qing. And Wei WuXian just sat there and took it, laughing the whole time he was yelled at, as if he knew he deserved it. He was definitely more than a little strange, in Lan XiChen’s opinion, but he had a good heart. After all, he was never more than a page away from Lan WangJi’s side, and Lan XiChen was pretty sure he hadn’t gone home since his brother’s surgery.
“WangJi is lucky to have you as his doctor, Wei-Yisheng,” Lan XiChen commented.
Wei WuXian turned his head to look at him. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Well, I just don’t think he’s used to having someone so dedicated to his well-being.”
Wei WuXian stared at him for a moment more, but when he didn’t elaborate, turned his gaze back on the hall ahead. He seemed to be mulling over Lan XiChen’s words though, unable to make sense of them.
Soon enough, they were in the cafeteria, Lan XiChen waiting behind Wei WuXian in line, gaze sweeping the room. This place was fancy, certainly fancier than Qishan General. It was more like the food court at a mall than a cafeteria in a medical facility. Though he guessed Lanling Jin wasn’t just a medical facility, and because of that, they had enough to shell out for as many eateries as they could possibly-
Suddenly, Lan XiChen’s train of thought derailed entirely when he caught sight of a man in a different line. He did a double take, unable to believe that the man was as handsome as he initially first thought. But oh yes, he certainly was. For a terrible couple of seconds, he couldn’t tear his eyes away, and then in the next couple of seconds, he was berating himself. The man was his type, disgustingly so, and he almost hated himself for the fact that he was always attracted to every pair of broad shoulders, strong chest and kind pair of eyes that he came across, that if the guy looked like he could strangle a bear and lived in a cabin in the woods that he built by hand, there was part of him that wanted to say, “Take me away to your cabin and fuck me on your bear-skin rug.”
He mentally slapped himself and glued his eyes on Wei WuXian’s back. He wasn’t going to think about it. In a couple of minutes he would lose interest, he always did. It was probably thanks to a voice in his head that sounded remarkably like his uncle telling him to calm down, that he couldn’t fall for every handsome face he saw. He’d done that when he was younger and stupider, and to avoid that kind of pain again, he’d sworn off dating altogether, throwing himself into taking care of his family, into work, anything so that he wouldn’t have time to date.
And now, he still didn’t have time. Most definitely not now. He would not be stupid again.
He proved himself wrong when he snuck another glance at the man. And another, and another. Worse still, he was standing close enough that he could smell his cologne, and oh shit Lan XiChen loved this smell. It sent a wash of heat down his back and made him swallow hard.
He doesn’t like men, I’ll bet, he told himself firmly. Of course he doesn’t. Someone that handsome? No way.
That phrase was always his saving grace. If he convinced himself the other person wouldn’t find him attractive, then it made things much easier. He sighed in relief, feeling the worst of the heat dissipate.
But of course, things couldn’t be that easy for him, could they? Because Wei WuXian had been trying to speak to him, and he wasn’t responding. So, he turned his head over his shoulder to see what was wrong, and happened to catch where exactly Lan XiChen’s attention was focused on. When he put two and two together, the corners of his lips curled upwards deviously, unable to resist this opportunity that had been gifted to him on a silver platter. A lifetime of love songs and rom coms had been training him for this moment.
“That gentleman over there is our head engineer, Nie Mingjue,” Wei WuXian said, too low for anyone but Lan XiChen to hear. “The guy who likes to yell at me? That’s him. Yes, I give him ideas for designs and tinker around with existing parts, but he was the person who was responsible for building your brother’s body.”
Lan XiChen fidgeted in place, staring shyly at Nie Mingjue out of the corner of his eye, a light blush on his face. “Oh that’s…nice.”
Wei WuXian smirked. He had him right where he wanted. Now, it was time for the kill shot. He tried to be as nonchalant as he possibly could when he added, “Yup. I know he looks scary, doesn’t he? He’s a bit rough around the edges, and very intense if you’re not prepared for it, but underneath he’s a nice guy. Way I hear it, his last boyfriend broke up with him a few months ago, so he’s been even crankier than usual.”
“….Did he now?” Lan XiChen replied in the quietest, most obvious “I’m trying to hide my interest in this information and failing miserably” voice Wei WuXian had ever heard. He had to turn and face forward again to hide the laughter bubbling out of him.
“Oh yeah,” Wei WuXian told him, some of his snickers leaking through his words. “If you’d like, I can introduce you sometime.”
Lan XiChen shrugged. “If you want, doesn’t matter either way.”
Wei WuXian nearly died trying to keep himself from bursting into cackles.
Notes:
Well hot damn, look at that angery boi. You'd never know the whole time I was writing that scene where he was bitching at Zixuan I was thinking of the angery boi corgis xD. Go give that art a like/reblog/retweet on Joshua's socials please? :3
johsua-beeking says: "Greetings everyone! Oh things are going smoothly and there is some more technobabble for ya'll to enjoy! An angry Wei Wuxian appears and you'll have to wait for everything to unfold to see where this may leads~ A nice round of applaud for the appearance of NieLan! One thing I needed to point out : There will be a strong contrast between the portrayal of Nielan and Wangxian, one being slow-burn ,soft and sweet , and the other...fast and hard. : > Different flavors for different tastes!"
Chapter Text
“I have good news for you!” Wei WuXian declared the next morning to Lan WangJi. “In three more days, you’ll be able to leave the Recovery Ward!”
Lan WangJi, who was dutifully working on his upper body physio from his bed, stopped for a moment to glance up at him. “I will?”
“Yup! And after that, we’ll give you a couple days to regain more of your strength, then we’ll get you started on some more intense physio. But before we can move you, we have to figure out where in the building you want to stay.”
Lan WangJi pulled his gaze away from him, looking at his own flexing hand instead. Hesitantly, he said, “I really can’t go home?”
Wei WuXian sighed. He knew this discussion was coming, of course, and he knew it wasn’t going to be an easy one. He pulled a chair up next to the bed, and when Lan WangJi met his eyes, he said regretfully, “Not for a while. I’m sorry. Lanling Jin is trying to keep the existence of these artificial bodies a secret for now. They don’t want anyone else possibly stealing the technology before they can patent it, and they can only patent it after they perfect it. There’s also worries of how people might react when they hear about the existence of…well, people like you and Wen Ning. The both of you being kept here isn’t just for secrecy’s sake, but to keep you safe. Hopefully they decide with you, the technology is perfect or at least passable enough that they can start marketing it to the general public. When they do that, you can go home, but I have no idea when any of that will happen.”
Lan WangJi was silent as he soaked in this information, expression unreadable. His forehead light didn’t change colors either, which didn’t help Wei WuXian deduce what he was thinking, but at least the information didn’t stress him out. Eventually, he said, “I understand.”
Still, Wei WuXian felt guilty, and added, “We’re going to do everything we can to make sure you’re as comfortable here as possible though! I mean, you won’t have to worry about being lonely. Wen Ning is always here, and I don’t go home most nights, despite Wen Qing and my brother’s best efforts. Since your family signed the non-disclosure agreement, they’re never going to be barred from seeing you either. And if nothing else, you didn’t hear it from me, but I’ve snuck Wen Ning out of the building many times. I can do it with you too.”
The other man narrowed his eyes judgingly at him, and Wei WuXian stuck his tongue out in response. “Hey, if I always obeyed the rules, you wouldn’t be alive.”
Lan WangJi raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything about that. Instead, he replied, “I am thankful you’re willing to help so much.”
Wei WuXian smiled hugely. “That’s what doctors do! Anything you need while you’re here, if it’s within my power to give it to you, you’ll have it.” His smile softened, and he added quietly, “And that’s even after you’re not my patient anymore. You’ll always have my support, Lan WangJi.”
He remembered Lan XiChen’s words on their way to the cafeteria, about how Lan WangJi wasn’t used to people caring about him so much, but it wasn’t until that moment that he saw what he meant. The other man turned his face away from him, but not until he saw the light on his forehead turn aqua, then deep green. Wei WuXian sighed.
He hated that to a certain extent, he could relate.
Images of his empty apartment and his cold bed in the early hours of the morning misted in front of his eyes, but he shook them off. He wasn’t there, he was here. He had someone that needed him.
He didn’t want to think about what would happen when that was no longer the case, though.
Wei WuXian threw himself fully into Lan WangJi’s care for the next three days to distract himself from those awful thoughts, but sadly, when he solved one problem, another arose, and it was a rather big one. He was with Lan WangJi as often as he could be, because some irrational part of him believed that if he was apart from his patient for more than a minute, the bad dreams he had during those rare few snatches of sleep he caught would come true, that Lan WangJi would malfunction or die in his sleep and Wei WuXian would be too far away to get there in time and save him. Even though Lan WangJi was doing well of course, he still couldn’t stop himself from checking in on him at night to make sure he was still breathing, and of course he was. He always was, the light on his forehead a deep blue as he rested. But even that made him worried, because it was always deep blue, never purple, which indicated deep sleep. What was wrong, why wasn’t he sleeping deeply like he should be?
It was a miracle Wei WuXian didn’t pull all his hair out during that first week and a half. He had to stop and rationalize with himself every single time something mildly distressing happened. Of course Lan WangJi wasn’t sleeping very deeply in the Recovery Ward. He was still adjusting to his new environment, still in pain, especially after being weaned off the morphine, and his mind was probably racing with all the information they gave him every day.
Despite Wei WuXian being with him so much, he found out from the Lans that Jin Zixuan had returned to the Recovery Ward. Not just him, but a couple other members of his family. They had snuck in when Wei WuXian stepped away for a measly fifteen minutes to grab some dinner. Needless to say, when he’d come back and saw the Jins there, he practically started foaming at the mouth and chased them out of the room, shutting the door so suddenly behind them that Jin Zixuan’s long hair almost got caught.
When he turned back to the Lans, he saw Lan Sizhui sigh in relief, saying, “Thank you Wei-Yisheng. They were…um, well…”
“Annoying,” Lan WangJi finished flatly.
Lan XiChen sighed, “WangJi”-
“They were.”
“What did they do?” Wei WuXian asked.
Lan WangJi said, “They wouldn’t stop asking questions.”
“Questions about the surgery, how my dad was doing, what our experience has been like,” Lan Sizhui supplied. “We didn’t answer anything they told us though. My dad said not to.”
“They wanted to open him up and take a look inside his chest as well,” Lan XiChen said. “We wouldn’t let them, and they started to get pushier. Then you walked in.”
Wei WuXian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to control the angry hammering of his heart. He then started grumbling to himself, “It’s bad enough that they’re bothering you at all, but the fact that they’re asking Lan Sizhui questions as well, when he’s just a kid…you’ve all been through hell and they still”-
He cut himself off, realizing that the Lans were giving him strange looks. Rubbing his temples, he sighed in frustration, telling them, “You all did well. I’m just sorry I wasn’t here.”
“You can’t be here all the time, Wei-Yisheng,” Lan Sizhui said.
“Clearly I have to be,” he replied, more to himself. “As long as I’m with him, the Jins won’t bother him, or you. Guess I have to start taking my meals in here, or skipping them altogether. What else is new.”
So he did, becoming a veritable guard dog for Lan WangJi. Any time the Jins tried to poke their noses in the room and saw that Wei WuXian was there, they’d back right out again without a word. Anytime Wei WuXian couldn’t be there for some reason, Wen Qing was in his place. And for a while, they were left in peace.
Until the Jins decided to change their tactics.
Instead of coming to harass Lan WangJi, they would catch Wei WuXian outside of the room and bother him instead, asking him for any details he could share about the surgery, how did his newest project’s body work, as well as any updates on when they could possibly examine him themselves. It felt very much like being followed by paparazzi; they were there when he tried to order food in the cafeteria, waiting in line with him, when he walked between labs, they even followed him to the bathroom. It was getting to the point where he almost literally couldn’t take a shit without seeing someone from the Jin family in his face.
Wei WuXian was horrified to learn one afternoon however that this was all part of a ruse. While he was being held up and questioned in some other part of the hospital, another one of the Jins would sneak into the Recovery Ward, many times when Lan WangJi was all by himself. One of these times, Wen Qing happened to return to the Recovery Ward a few seconds before he did, and a second later he heard her yelling, “I’m going to sever your jugular with my heels, Jin Zixun!”
When he got inside the room, the first thing he saw was that Lan WangJi’s forehead was a bright, glaring red, and Jin Jixun had his face in his, one of Lan WangJi’s eyes held open with a clamp that was only used during surgeries. To make matters worse, he had the tip of one gloved finger inserted in the inner corner of his eye, moving it around. Upon looking closer, Wei WuXian saw that Lan WangJi’s hands were trembling by his sides, the metal practically rattling together. When Jin Zixun noticed them, he sighed, as if annoyed, and removed his finger, as well as the clamp.
Before either of them could say a word, Jin Zixun was walking away from the bed and towards them, snapping, “What else was I supposed to do? You wouldn’t let us in.”
Wei WuXian bristled, his whole body swelling with rage. “Jin Zixun you disgusting sack of shit, I swear to God”-
“What? I’m leaving,” Jin Zixun huffed. “I have all I need.”
“And what the fuck could that possibly be?” Wen Qing demanded.
Jin Zixun shrugged. “Just checking to see if there’s enough space in the subject’s eye to install artificial lacrimal glands. Jin Zixuan had it in his head that our investors and superiors might be worried that a lack of visual emotional outlet would cause distress in potential patients.”
“He’s getting there,” Wen Qing insisted. She moved to place herself between the other doctor and Lan WangJi. “Wei WuXian just hasn’t come up with that exact neural link.”
“Well, he better.” Jin Zixun stopped in front of the door, turning around to sneer at them, “If he can come up with a neural link for activating genital functions in patients, a crying one shouldn't be too hard for him. Perhaps he should take this more seriously and get his mind out of the gutter once in a while."
Wei WuXian leapt at him, snarling, “Get the fuck out of here before I activate your crying function by kicking your balls up into your fucking throat!”
Jin Zixun left with a derisive “hmph,” shutting the door loudly behind them.
Once he was gone, Wei WuXian’s focus immediately shifted back to his patient, and he raced over to the bed. Wen Qing was already standing there, brushing some of Lan WangJi’s hair back from his forehead in a soothing motion. Lan WangJi was still shivering sporadically, light on his forehead flickering from red to green, and when Wen Qing brushed her fingers over it, it was hot. His eyes were wide, as if he was still seeing Jin Zixun standing over him, and he just looked so miserable that Wei WuXian couldn’t help but place his hand over his. He didn’t blame him for being so scared. Lan WangJi couldn’t move, couldn’t even raise his arms high enough to defend himself, and while it was most likely true that having his eye touched like that wouldn’t cause physical pain, it would still be very traumatizing having to go through such a thing.
“Lan WangJi, look at me,” he said firmly. “It’s okay now. Wen-Yisheng and I are here. Come on, look at me.”
After a moment, the other man did as he asked, blank golden eyes sliding upwards to meet his, gradually clearing up as he came back to himself. When he registered who was above him, the light on his forehead flared red again and, impulsively, he grabbed the hand laying on top of his, squeezing so tightly Wei WuXian winced.
“I know, I know,” he said between gritted teeth. “We’re not going anywhere, I promise. We’ll stay right here. I’m sorry. The Jins…we didn’t know they’d stoop this low. Are you okay otherwise?”
Lan WangJi averted his gaze, staring at the ceiling instead. After a beat or two of quiet, Wei WuXian asked, “Lan WangJi? What’s wrong?”
“…hurts.”
“What was that?”
“My hands. My back. Arms, legs. Feet. Has for a couple days now. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything”-
“No, no, it’s okay,” Wei WuXian assured him. “It’s- no, I mean it’s not, but I understand. You have to tell me when you’re hurting the minute it starts in case it’s something serious. That’s what I’m here for, yeah? You’re not placing a burden on any of us by telling us you hurt.”
Lan WangJi didn’t say anything in reply, but Wei WuXian thought he saw at least some of the tension go out of his shoulders.
After a quick exam, Wei WuXian concluded, “Well, the good news is, it doesn’t look like there’s anything physically wrong with you. I’d say the pain you’re feeling is a result of the stress you’ve been feeling. Because the Jins have- I can’t believe this…”
He paused, before asking in a quiet, very serious voice, “How many times have they been in here over the past two days?”
Lan WangJi admitted after a moment, “Three times.”
“Son of a”- Wei WuXian started to say, then stopped. Instead, he turned on his heel and stalked towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Wen Qing asked, chasing after him.
“To see Jin Guangshan,” he replied tersely.
In his current state? That wasn’t going to end well. “Wei WuXian”-
“No this is such bullshit!” he exclaimed. “His fucking son and nephew have no business sticking their dicks in my department. I’ve had it up to here!”
They listened to his footsteps as they disappeared down the hall, Wen Qing sighing and burying her face in one hand. Lan WangJi asked, “You are not going to stop him?”
She lifted her face from her hand and gave him a sad, half smile. Of course, he had already seen her order Wei WuXian around plenty of times. He was probably surprised by her lack of action. Wen Qing said, “I tried that once. I’ve learned not to get in his way when it comes to the Jins.”
He blinked up at her, raising an eyebrow, but she didn’t elaborate. Instead, she just patted one of his forearms, saying, “I’ll get you a bit of morphine for the pain, okay? I don’t think Wei WuXian will mind if you sleep the rest of the afternoon.”
That did sound very good. He was still shaken up, and sleep would help to calm him. He watched Wen Qing place the diluted morphine in with the rest of his capsules before closing him back up. It would take a minute or two for it to take effect, and while he waited, his eyes wandered over to the door. Wen Qing noticed this as she pulled his blanket up higher around his shoulders, and found herself asking, “Is everything okay?”
“Feels strange,” Lan WangJi admitted.
She paused, turning more towards him. “What does?”
His eyes began to droop as the morphine took hold, and things became foggier. Finally, he said, “…too quiet.”
“Because Wei-Yisheng isn’t here?”
“…Mn.”
His eyes shut, and a few moments later he was out completely, face still turned towards the door. Wen Qing snorted to herself and shook her head.
It was about an hour later when Wei WuXian returned, Wen Qing going out into the hallway to meet him since Lan WangJi was still asleep. Thankfully, at the moment, there was no one around, so they were able to talk in relative privacy.
Judging by the stormy expression on his face, whatever he was going to tell her wasn’t going to be good.
“Why is it any dumb motherfucker can be the head of a major corporation no matter how many scandals they have as long as their families are rich enough?” he ranted, pacing back and forth. “I swear to God my nephew’s dog could have come up with a better solution for what to do about Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun when I busted into his office! I mean, what the fuck? ‘The Recovery Ward is technically public domain, so anyone can go in and out whenever they want?’ ‘They’re not even acting under my orders, they’re just trying to do their jobs?’ Wen Qing I’m going to stuff the three of them in the tiniest box I can find, then I’m going to put that box in another box, and that box in another box, mail it to myself, then I’m going to get a hammer”-
“Wei WuXian, breathe,” she said. She stopped in front of him, blocking his path and placing both hands on his shoulders.
He did as she asked, heaving a single breath in, then letting it out in a huge rush. When he felt like he was no longer going to explode through the ceiling, he shook his head and let out a humorless laugh. She let him go, allowing him to pace back and forth, watching as he tugged on the ends of his hair.
“I mean, what else did I expect?” he grumbled. “Certainly not any sympathy or understanding. Doesn’t matter if my patient is being fucking traumatized, as long as he can make a profit off him. He pulled this same shit with Wen Ning too.”
He halted in front of her, and said seriously, “I’m not giving them another chance. If Jin Guangshan can’t be assed to do anything, I’ll take care of it. It might be a little early. I mean, I would have liked it if he could have been sitting up before we moved him, but I suppose we don’t have a choice. I’ll get in touch with his family and see if they’ll bring as much of his stuff as they can manage.”
“Into your lab?” she asked.
Wei WuXian raised his hands and lowered them, letting them slap against his thighs while he sighed in frustration again, blowing his frazzled bangs out of his face. “I mean, I don’t know where else to put him. It’s the only place in the whole complex where I know he’ll be safe because it’s under my jurisdiction, so if the Jins go in there without my say-so, I can get them in big trouble. So, way I see it, it’s our only option.”
She mulled this over in her head for a moment, before relenting with, “I guess I’ll let him know when he wakes up.”
The next few days were spent clearing out an old storage room within the lab. The room itself was quite large, the size of most people’s living rooms and kitchens put together. The walls were plain white and layered with brick, much like Wei WuXian remembered his dorm room being in college, and it didn’t exactly look too inviting, but he figured if Lan WangJi wanted to move somewhere else when he was able to walk, he could do so. For now, it would serve its purpose.
Besides, Wei WuXian tended to keep most of his “storage” strewn about the lab, so it wasn’t as if he was using this space anyway.
It was more than worth all the hard work they put in when they wheeled Lan WangJi out of the Recovery Ward, placed him in his bed in his new room, and he smiled wistfully when he saw his things surrounding him once again. Not only did it look very much like his old room, it smelled like it as well, incense burning in one corner. But Wei WuXian knew for sure that he had made the right choice when, after leaving Lan WangJi alone with his family for a few hours, he returned and Lan WangJi told him that the pain was completely gone.
And more miraculously, after his family went home for the day, Wei WuXian went to check on him once more to find that he was asleep and his forehead light was purple for the first time in days.
The next day during the afternoon, Wei WuXian told his patient, “It’s just about lunch time now. If you’d like, until I come back, do you want to chat with Wen Ning? I know I’ve told you plenty about your new body and what you can expect from here on out, but obviously hearing from the source would be much different. I think he’ll be happy to have someone to talk to that’s more like him as well.”
Lan WangJi, who had heard plenty about Wen Ning beforehand, nodded. “Mn.”
“Okay…great. Yeah I’ll just- I’ll send him in.”
Wei WuXian tried not to rush out of the room, an odd feeling twinging in his chest. Truthfully, while he did think it would be a great idea for the two of them to get acquainted, he also felt that Lan WangJi needed to socialize with someone else. Yes, he had talked to Wen Qing and his family but…well, Wei WuXian had been with him an awful lot, day and night, hardly giving the other man any peace. He hadn’t even gone home since the day of Lan WangJi’s surgery. At this point, Lan WangJi was probably desperate to talk to someone other than him.
Wei WuXian laughed darkly to himself. Story of his life.
He made himself take his full hour of lunch, and then when he got back, he kept to himself, working as long as possible to give the two of them ample time to talk. They were very similar, he realized. Both people of few words, soft voices and small but loving families. He hoped they could become friends.
He huffed a laugh. Maybe it was the steady diet of love songs, but part of him was hoping they might end up being something more as well. He deserved someone. They both did.
Wen Ning actually left Lan WangJi’s room soon after Wei WuXian got back, shutting the door behind him, and when he saw the scientist standing there, he walked over to him. Wei WuXian, who was bent over one of his work tables, fiddling around with spare parts, lifted his glasses on top of his head and turned to face him.
“How’d it go?” he asked, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “You were in there a long time.”
“Wei-Yisheng,” Wen Ning groaned, his forehead lighting up a deep green. He averted his gaze and said, “It was fine. I told him anything you might have missed about his new body and answered his questions. He didn’t have many though, said he was okay learning as he went along. He’s…a very interesting person. And a little intimidating.”
Wei WuXian laughed. “Aw, really? I never got that from him.”
“To be fair, everyone is a little intimidating to me.”
“Ahahaha, oh Wen Ning…”
Despite his reservations, Wen Ning still went back to sit and talk with Lan WangJi during lunch hour the next day, and the day after that as well. It warmed Wei WuXian’s heart, especially when during his checkups, Lan WangJi would tell him that Wen Ning was a good source of guidance and support, and was helping assuage his fears.
However, one afternoon, Wen Ning didn’t come, most likely helping his sister with something. And…well, he didn’t want Lan WangJi to be bored. After all, there was only so much he could do laying there. All he really had to occupy himself was conversation with other people. So, deciding there was no other choice, he took his lunch and, sighing nervously, apologizing to Lan WangJi in his head, poked his head inside his room.
When Lan WangJi’s eyes met his, he said brightly, “Hey! Sorry, Wen Ning is helping Wen Qing in her office right now. So, looks like you’re stuck with me for lunch.”
Lan WangJi blinked at him, but said nothing. He just stared at him, those golden eyes glowing slightly in the low light. Wei WuXian felt himself begin to sweat.
“I’ll just uh, I’ll sit here?” he said hesitantly, pulling up a chair next to the bed, just like he used to do in the Recovery Ward. When the silence stretched on, he said, “I can leave, if you’d like. Give you some peace.”
Still, Lan WangJi didn’t say anything, though he did raise his eyebrows slightly. The light on his forehead remained blue as well. Wei WuXian coughed, deciding that well, he was already here. If he left now, he’d look like a fool. So, he forced himself to make conversation with the other man.
“Well, Wen Ning told me he’s telling you about some of the little things your body is capable of that I might have missed?” he began, and he knew he was speaking way too fast already, but he decided to blame it on the Red Bull/espresso cocktail he’d been running on all day instead of his own nervousness. Why was he so nervous anyway? Was it because he was so bad at conversation that didn’t revolve around his job? So, like an idiot, that’s what he talked about. “That’s good though. I’m glad he could help. I know the first few months he would often be hit with moments of intense vertigo and difficulties maintaining his balance, but I made some pretty impressive updates on the inner ear mechanisms. Especially on the sensitivity of the artificial Cupula and the supporting nerves connected to the vestibular nerves. I’ve never had to work with such tiny instruments before! They were specifically designed for that task though, so cool. But heh, no matter how many updates I do, you let me know if you still experience difficulties with your stability, alright?”
Lan WangJi just kept staring at him for a moment or two, but then finally said, “Mn.”
He needed to shut up. There was no way this man found anything he was saying interesting, but Wei WuXian couldn’t help himself. Once the verbal diarrhea started, it was impossible to stop. “It's also possible that eventually the joints in your hands will feel rigid or stuck. It may take a while for that to happen because we made sure to pick pretty resistant material, but it may mean by that point the material is becoming thin and damaged and needs to be changed. You can either come to me or Nie Mingjue to tell him you need new parts. He already has the blueprints of most of your body’s pieces so he'll give you what you want. But to begin with, I'll have to do a lot of the removing and replacing for the first few times, but in time, the lab's assistants will be able to do it just as efficiently!”
At this point, Wei WuXian was hardly touching his food, becoming way too absorbed in what he was saying. He gestured animatedly with one of his hands as he explained, “Now, regarding the lacrimal gland thing that sack of- that Jin guy mentioned, I wanted to get it done sooner but I was hitting a brick wall in terms of making sure the eye wasn't constantly producing tears and interpreting the signals from the brain correctly. It would have been pretty distressing to see yourself crying constantly because your brain didn't adapt to that specific function yet, so I thought I could always install it later and that would go a little easier”- he cut himself off as he accidentally lifted his other hand to start gesturing as well, realizing what he’d done and just barely managing to catch his lunch before it fell off his lap. Once he righted himself, he laughed, high and embarrassed, trying to ignore how hot his face felt. “Anyway, gotta say, for Wen Ning it took me five months of research just to find the perfect synthetic formula for tears, joint oil and... other things. I needed a formula that wouldn't damage the fragile parts involving the lens in your eyes and the mechanisms surrounding it. Can you imagine dealing with oxidation in your eyeballs, ho boy, no thanks..."
“I cannot,” Lan WangJi answered.
“Then again, a human body can deal with oxidation from excess iron. Uh, that process is called hemochromatosis, and the cells themselves become damaged from it, so it's not that different despite all our current differences.” He laughed, rubbing at the back of his head, though he had no idea why, there was nothing particularly funny about what he said.
Lan WangJi’s forehead light turned yellow, and his eyes seemed to soften, though why, Wei WuXian had no idea. Still, that was enough encouragement for him, and he went back to babbling a mile a minute, gradually relaxing as time went on. His lunch sat there on his lap, completely forgotten as Wei WuXian became absorbed in what he was saying, his face now feeling warm from exhilaration.
“I know I told you about the nutrient capsules that’ll send everything around your body that your brain needs to function,” he said, “but that's obviously going to create waste eventually. So you see these tubes on the side of your body?” Wei WuXian pointed at them. “They send the waste to a special recipient in your lower back that can be removed and changed periodically. You'll hear a small sound warning you that it's full so don't be freaked out if it occurs in the middle of the night or something. It’s pretty similar to waking up because you tanked three mugs of tea before bed.”
“I see,” Lan WangJi remarked.
“Don’t worry though, for now we’re changing them for you but that's something that will be very easily doable by you later on down the line, like an ostomy bag if you know what that is ...”
The other man made a soft, indiscernible sound through his nose before he said, “I do not.”
Was Wei WuXian imagining things, or had that been a laugh from Lan WangJi? Either way, he happily explained, “An ostomy pouch or ostomy pouching system is a kind of bag you install at the end of a stoma, an excision in the skin that is the connection between the organ that has been diverted to the skin. It's mostly in the form of colostomy, the colon, ileostomy the small intestine or urostomy, the bladder. Basically, the pouch is going collect the waste when your body can’t hold it anymore. Usually from surgeries that involves removing a large part of the colon, etc... in your case it's not the same type of waste, obviously, but it's gonna feel similar in some ways. Instead of needing a bathroom and toilet paper, in this case you'll just need a trash can and a replacement recipient and you're good to go. I made the waste recipients bio-degradable too!”
Suddenly, the alarm on Wei WuXian’s watch went off, nearly making him jump clean out of his seat. He did a double take as he looked at it. Had it really already been an hour? It felt like barely ten minutes had gone by. And…oh no, he had spent that entire hour yapping Lan WangJi’s ear off about things he definitely didn’t care about, hardly letting him get a word in the entire time!
Horrified at his own audacity, he hopped off the chair, gathering up his uneaten lunch and bowing profusely. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to talk so much! I’m telling you, you can tell me to shut up, I won’t be offended. Look at me, I filled up that whole hour with nonsense, oh God I’m so sorry- I’ll just, I’ll leave now. Let you have some peace and quiet. Uh, until it’s time for more physio. Okay, I’ll stop talking now. And go.”
He didn’t dare stay to see what kind of expression Lan WangJi was wearing, instead hurrying out of the room and shutting the door behind him. His insides were squirming uncomfortably, and as he dumped his lunch in the garbage, he yelled at himself in his head, You’re such an idiot! Can’t you act fucking normal for once in your life? Why are you like this?
Wei WuXian shook his head, and then moved into his lab, locking the door behind him, before turning on his radio and turning the volume up as loud as he could stand.
He didn’t make the mistake of having lunch with Lan WangJi again, not even if Wen Ning wasn’t available to sit with him. He couldn’t do that, couldn’t show that more unprofessional side of himself to someone, especially not a patient who was relying on him. Okay, all he had talked about was things that were technically related to work, but still. He was just so tired of that polite but disinterested smile on people’s faces. Plus, Lan WangJi was stuck with him, and he didn’t want to make his experience any more miserable than it already was.
That’s what he told himself, and after a while, he convinced himself that everything was okay. That is, until the fourth day, when Wen Ning came up to him one afternoon when Wei WuXian was rifling through his office, trying to put some papers in order that had been sitting on every available surface for literal months, and said, “Wei-Yisheng, I hate to interrupt, but Lan WangJi asked me when you were going to have lunch with him again?”
Wei WuXian, who had been running over to his filing cabinet balancing a stack of files, froze so suddenly that half of the stack slid out of his arms and landed with very fat smacks on the tile floor. However, he hardly seemed to notice, asking disbelievingly, “He what?”
“Um, he wanted to know when you could eat lunch with him again?” Wen Ning repeated.
Wei WuXian blinked at him. “Why the hell does he want that? I nearly drove him crazy last time with my rambling. You sure heard him right?”
Wen Ning nodded emphatically. “Positive. He thought you were interesting!”
The doctor stared at him flatly. Now he knew he was lying. But Wen Ning waved his hands in front of himself defensively, saying, “I mean it! His exact words were, ‘He is very passionate about his job, and I appreciate that. He helped lift my spirits as well.”
It was a “sounds fake but okay” moment if Wei WuXian ever heard one, but he went along with it, willing to give Wen Ning the benefit of the doubt. So, the next day, he summoned every scrap of courage he had and poked his head inside Lan WangJi’s room once more.
It was brighter in here for the first time since the man had woken up from his surgery. They had placed his bed near the light switches so that Lan WangJi could control them even while laying down, so that meant he had been the one to make it so. It was good practice as well, encouraging him to lift his arms a little higher every day. So, did this mean his eyes were finally adjusting fully? Or…did he do this in preparation for Wei WuXian’s arrival?
Either way, when he came in, though his forehead light remained blue, Wei WuXian was greeted by a very subtle smile from Lan WangJi that he would have missed had the lights been as low as they had been yesterday.
“So, Wen Ning said you missed me?” Wei WuXian teased, going over to grab his chair to sit in. “Don’t you get enough of me during the rest of the day?”
“I do not mind you being here,” Lan WangJi replied simply.
On the outside, Wei WuXian replied with a pleased, “Aw, that’s kind of you to say,” but on the inside, he was blue-screening and a voice was screeching, “SOUNDS FAKE BUT OKAY.”
Either way, he sat down, and said, “Alright, well, if you want me here, you better be prepared to work. I want to see how your leg lifts are coming and how well you can move your head around now.”
While Lan WangJi worked, Wei WuXian praised him every single time he did something he couldn’t do before, whether that was a day ago or an hour ago. Little by little, he was able to hold his arms and legs higher and higher in the air, as well as hold them there for minutes at a time. At one point he was even able to lift his head, and when he did that, Wei WuXian nearly dropped his lunch.
“That’s amazing, Lan WangJi, no small feat at all!” he told him. “Your head before weighed about as much as a bowling ball, and look how long it takes infants to develop their neck muscles so they can lift them. But your head now weighs over twice as much, and you were able to lift it in less than half a month! Ugh, our heads are such ridiculous, unwieldy things aren’t they? Good lord, they’re so big that all human babies are technically born premature in comparison with other animals…”
And before he could hope to stop himself, he went off on another ramble, going from talking about human babies, to mentioning how the only baby he’d really been around was his nephew, but he wasn’t a baby anymore and he was Sizhui’s age, to what a brat he was, and finally, “He and Sizhui should meet sometime. Maybe your son can straighten him out, be a good influence on him. Or give him a few cracks over the head when he acts like an asshole.”
He laughed to himself, and then switched topics again, unable to hold his train of thought for more than a minute, it seemed. “I’m sorry, I know I keep talking about myself but, the way I see it, I know almost all about you, but you know nothing about me. It’s only fair if we level the playing field a bit, yeah? So if there’s anything about me that you’re curious about that I haven’t brought up yet, ask! Doesn’t matter what it is either, it’s very hard to embarrass me, I promise.”
Lan WangJi huffed a laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The following day though, when they were once again having lunch together, Lan WangJi realized something very important: he enjoyed Wei WuXian’s company. Wei WuXian the doctor had done something for him that no other doctor had before: make him feel like he mattered. Over the course of his life, he’d had so many doctors, trying a new one almost every year, the reason for that being because they weren’t willing to work with him and his limitations, or just simply didn’t know how to help him when his current meds stopped working. Many times, he was made to feel like a burden, an annoyance, especially when he called and asked for help in managing pain that had become so bad, he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, couldn’t function. They would just give him whatever solution would get him off the phone faster and that would be that.
By contrast, Wei WuXian had nearly ripped off the heads of an entire family, his boss, just for making Lan WangJi feel uncomfortable.
But he didn’t just like Wei WuXian the doctor, he liked the more personable side of him as well, the side that told him random facts and talked about his family. The side that got so into what he was saying that he lost track of time. Wen Ning was soothing and steady, but he liked Wei WuXian’s wild, reckless, scatterbrained enthusiasm even more. His liveliness was contagious, often inspiring Lan WangJi to move when he’d rather not, and his smiles were so bright, his words of praise so kind, that he couldn’t help but want to earn both. Wei WuXian’s look of awe whenever he passed what he considered a major milestone always made Lan WangJi feel special, even when he knew he wasn’t.
Perhaps that was what made Lan WangJi decide today was the day. So, while Wei WuXian was watching, he gathered his strength, the light on his forehead glowed a bright green, and with a grunt of effort, he sat up in bed.
The two of them froze, staring at each other for several long beats, Lan WangJi unable to believe he had done it after trying fruitlessly for several days. However, the silence only lasted for as long as it took Wei WuXian to comprehend the sight of Lan WangJi sitting up before he was leaping out of his seat and squealing with delight.
“Oh my God, oh my God, you- you, look at you!!” he exclaimed, gesturing at Lan WangJi like he didn’t know what to make of him. “You’re amazing! Holy shit, holy shit, you did that! You just…you’re so cool, so fucking cool, I can’t handle this!”
Sadly, he couldn’t stay like that for long, and the second Wei WuXian finished his happy rant, Lan WangJi’s back gave out and he flopped back down on the bed again. Still, after making sure he was okay, Wei WuXian wouldn’t stop gushing about what a fantastic feat that was, and “Ahhhh, I knew we picked the right candidate, I just knew it! You’re amazing, Lan WangJi!”
Despite his exhaustion and how much his back was burning even from that slight exertion, despite how insignificant he felt his accomplishment was, Lan WangJi couldn’t help but be pleased. Yes, Wei WuXian was a wonderful person and doctor. In his own charming, hair brained way. He’d keep him.
Notes:
Lol so funny story, Joshua had no idea what scene to draw for this chapter, and I just said, "Wangxian holds hands," and he went "D O N E" xDDD. Thank you Joshua for the technobabble for this chapter that WWX rambles at LWJ lol, it was funny, I asked for a blocks of text for our verbose little nervous scientist to say while I went and did something else and got the warning, "alright, but I can't be held responsible for what you'll find when you come back." xD Lol but seriously, thank you, otherwise I would have been sitting there with my thumb up my ass with no idea what to write for that part. Also as a random side note I listened to a shit-ton of songs from Frozen and Frozen 2 while writing this chapter so, oops lol.
Joshua says: "Oh things are progressing aren't they? I give cookies to the one finding that Emperor's new groove reference. Also if you can manage to subtly flirt with someone while talking about stomy bags, you have an unimaginable source of power that you should exploit. I'm just saying. Do you guys wanted more technobabbles in this fic? You'll get more technobabbles. ( with a lot of liberties as to how a lab function, I am aware.) Hope you guys enjoy how things are progressing! lots of stuff coming soon!"
Also feel free to give that art a like/reblog/retweet and yell at Joshua about how painful it is because I already have xD.
Chapter 7: Fire Inside the Man
Notes:
Just a forewarning, there's a not so nice scene in the middle here with some dehumanization and uncomfortable medical procedures, so proceed accordingly.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
With all the fantastic progress Lan WangJi had made in such a short amount of time, Wei WuXian decided to take bigger strides towards making his patient more independent. They worked intensely on building up Lan WangJi’s core strength so he could sit up for longer periods of time.
At the moment, they had Lan WangJi, wearing his only pair of sweatpants from home that fit his larger body, propped up in a high-backed chair in front of a low sink, where he had been given a long pair of rubber gloves that extended all the way up to his armpits and a plastic apron to cover his front. He was leaning over the sink and doing his best to wash his hair. Granted, others had been doing it for him, but this was the first time he wanted to try on his own. Wei WuXian figured that the familiar act of washing his hair would make him feel more normal again.
As of late, now that he was becoming more active, Lan WangJi had been mentioning things like, “It hurts my palms to touch certain things,” or “My feet hurt when certain blankets brush against them.” Hence why Wei WuXian felt that they needed to start pushing Lan WangJi further towards more intense physio he could do while sitting up.
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Wei WuXian had told him when he heard him say those things. “All that means is that we need to desensitize your nerve pads. Don’t worry, it happens all the time with other people that have been in car accidents or other trauma. We're going to apply a similar physio routine for you as we would with those cases.”
It was certainly reassuring to hear that his discomfort was normal, but still, he couldn’t wait for it to be done with. He could almost put it in the back of his mind right now, considering he had bigger problems to worry about than how odd the smooth rubber felt on his hands. Just the simple task of washing his hair, though doable, was taking all of Lan WangJi’s concentration. Everything from guiding his arms in the directions he wanted them go, to making his hands grasp both small and large things, was much more difficult than he remembered. He was beginning to get a headache from how hard he was clenching his jaw.
Then again, he’d dealt with much worse. If he could handle functioning in spite of crippling pain in his fingers, he could handle oversensitivity as well.
Wei WuXian and Lan XiChen were sitting on a couch no more than a few yards away if he needed them, but Lan WangJi was determined. He moved slowly, but deliberately, stupidly proud of himself when he was able to turn the sink on, judge the temperature of the water through his glove, and guide his head under the faucet head without getting anything wet that shouldn’t be. There was practically confetti raining down and airhorns going off in his head in celebration.
When he took his head out from under the faucet, his long hair dark and dripping wet, he heard Wei WuXian behind him ask cheerily, “Lan WangJi, I know I yap about myself constantly, so why don’t you tell me more about yourself? I read in your file you’re a librarian. There’s more than one kind, right? What kind were you?”
Lan WangJi very carefully started grabbing for the bottle of shampoo, and he answered, “Public. Worked mostly with adults, sometimes teenagers when they didn’t have a teen librarian on staff.”
That was the ticket; Wei WuXian could hear the smile in his voice. “That sounds cool! Tell me more about that? What’s some stuff you liked about your job?”
He felt like he was coaxing a child to speak, but he was figuring out rapidly that with Lan WangJi, unless he was pushed, he would stay silent for hours, or quit speaking after he answered exactly what you asked. Sometimes even when prompted, he would stay silent, so Wei WuXian had taken it on as a personal challenge to figure out what he liked to talk about.
“I liked the older patrons,” he said. “I helped set up a knitting group for them that would come in once a week. Sometimes I joined them. We talked about our arthritis and they would bring me red bean buns.”
Wei WuXian tried, but he couldn’t quite keep an, “Aww,” from escaping him, placing a hand over his heart. The image of stern, frosty faced Lan WangJi knitting with a group of grannies while they fed him sweets was one of the cutest things he could imagine. Lan XiChen elbowed him and took out his phone, scrolling through until he pulled up a couple of photos of Lan WangJi sitting and knitting with said grannies, but it was far better than Wei WuXian thought it would be. For one thing, Lan WangJi was wearing a very soft-looking cream sweater and turtleneck underneath it. For another, he was wearing his hair in relaxed half bun and…was Wei WuXian imagining things, or was that a glint of silver in his ears? Squinting, he realized why yes it was. Lan WangJi was wearing earrings, the long, bright silver strands standing out against his hair. Finally, he had on-
“Lan WangJi, you never told me you wore glasses!” Wei WuXian exclaimed.
Lan WangJi sighed. “I needed them for work. At the end of the day, my eyes would be tired.”
“A librarian with glasses…you’re walking a cliché, sir. I can’t deal with this.”
“So is a scientist with glasses,” Lan WangJi replied flatly.
Wei WuXian gasped dramatically, slapping a hand to his chest as if offended, before saying, “Excuse you, these are fashionable as fuck. And functional. Not only do they protect my eyes, but when the light hits them just right and they glow, I scare the shit out of so many interns and lab assistants!”
The other man didn’t answer him this time, choosing to focus all of his thoughts for a moment into unscrewing the cap of his shampoo bottle. The rubber gloves thankfully helped him maintain his grip, a little too well. He was so used to gripped things as hard as he could when unscrewing lids, that he tried to do that here as well, and ended up crushing the bottom of the cap. Whoops.
Lan XiChen heard the crunch, and when he did, he started to stand up in his seat, asking, “Do you need help?”
“No,” Lan WangJi replied quickly.
Reluctantly, his brother sat back down. Too nervous to squeeze the bottle, Lan WangJi instead just tipped it upside down, letting gravity pull the shampoo down. While he waited, Wei WuXian asked, “So what else did you like about your job?”
After thinking about it for a minute, Lan WangJi replied, “I started an outreach program for LGBT+ young adults. Had resources listed for them about people they could speak to in case they were kicked out of their homes, were contemplating suicide, needed a therapist, and other things. I wanted to give them the help my brother and I didn’t have growing up.”
A warm feeling filled Wei WuXian’s chest. He glanced over at Lan XiChen, who was still watching his brother fondly, a soft smile on his face. Wei WuXian couldn’t help but say, “Yeah there’s a lot more resources now than there used to be that I would have loved when I was younger too.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lan XiChen smile softly at him, but Lan WangJi said nothing. However, he could have sworn he froze in place for a brief moment. Though more than likely, he was just resting before moving onto the task of lathering the shampoo into his hair.
“Well,” Wei WuXian said after a moment, “we have a library here at Lanling Jin. Perhaps after I discharge you, we could get you a position there. Granted, it’d be a medical library, different than what you’re used to, but the pay is good. And it would be a way to get you back into a normal routine.”
“…Mn,” Lan WangJi answered after some hesitation. The doctor was right. Besides, at the moment, his choices for employment were rather limited, and though Lan XiChen was taking care of Lan Sizhui now, it wouldn’t be fair to keep placing that burden on him indefinitely. Really, he should be thankful that he had such an opportunity at all. Though of course, his son would have to keep living with his uncle until he was eighteen, Lan WangJi would still need a way to pay his bills, not to mention college very soon.
He shook himself out of those thoughts. He had enough to worry about right now. But he supposed it was nice that he was finally in a headspace where he could think about things like that.
When it came time to get a dollop of conditioner out of the bottle, Lan WangJi found himself struggling once more. This bottle was quite large, and in the past, he’d never had much luck with it, but he bought them anyway because it was cheaper. He simply didn’t have the hand strength to squeeze it out. Of course, he knew things were different now. He could do this. But wait, what if he couldn’t control his strength and he crushed the bottle like he had the cap? He really didn’t want to deal with the mess, or the embarrassment. This was so stupid, he was thirty fucking one, he shouldn’t be having a meltdown over a bottle of conditioner.
Lan XiChen noticed his dilemma and rose from his seat. But to Wei WuXian’s surprise, when he leaned over Lan WangJi and started opening the bottle, Lan WangJi tensed and said, “I’ve got it.”
“Are you sure?” Lan XiChen asked. “I can get it for you, it’s no”-
“I’ve got it,” his brother repeated, this time in a much steelier voice.
The air thickened with tension, making it difficult to breathe. His response certainly threw Wei WuXian for a loop; he didn’t even know Lan WangJi was capable of being so expressly irritated. No one moved for several beats, before Lan XiChen raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and backed away, returning to his seat with a sigh.
Part of Wei WuXian wanted to ask about what just happened, but he figured it wouldn’t be wise. First of all, it wasn’t his place to get involved. Second, judging by how fervently the two of them were now ignoring each other, Lan WangJi furiously squeezing his bottle of conditioner until it indeed cracked and Lan XiChen looking anywhere but where his brother was sitting, neither of them wanted to discuss it.
So instead, Wei WuXian nodded towards the older Lan’s phone and whispered, “So what other pictures do you have of him at the library?”
Thankfully, that made the corner of Lan XiChen’s mouth quirk up slightly. He took his phone back out of his pocket and once again started scrolling through it. “One of his coworkers was kind enough to send me pictures of him during the day they had someone come in with a therapy cat that the children could read to. Guess who sat there holding the cat for most of its visit.”
“Oh God,” Wei WuXian snorted, and leaned in close to look.
Of course, Wei WuXian should have known that word of Lan WangJi’s progress would reach the ears of the Jins. He had just counted on it taking longer than it did.
He tried to ignore their knocking at his door when they showed up one day. Tried to turn up the radio louder, to concentrate harder on the project he was working on. But eventually, it became so annoying, and combined with the fact that he could hear Jin Zixun’s piercing voice yelling, “Wei WuXian, open up or we’re going to get a drill and dismantle it one screw at a time!” he realized that he could no longer pretend they weren’t there.
Sighing with frustration, he tossed his tools down on the table with a clang and pushed out his chair, furiously sliding his work glasses on top of his head. He stomped over to the door, muttering to himself the whole time, before slamming it open, nearly smacking Jin Zixun in the face, and growled, “What?”
Jin Zixun rolled his eyes. “Don’t ‘what’ us! You know exactly why we’re here! You can’t put off this performance review anymore. Our investors are going to be here in the next couple of days and they want a report.”
Wei WuXian’s upper lip curled back over his teeth in a snarl. “I don’t care if they’re going to be here in the next couple of minutes. It’s too soon to”-
“Wei WuXian,” Jin Zixuan said and held up a hand, silencing him. When the other man had turned his narrowed gaze on him, he said, “Part of the contract you signed when you were hired states that inspection dates aren’t yours to decide; they occur at Lanling Jin’s discretion. No matter your feelings on the matter, Lan WangJi is technically the property of Lanling Jin, and if you keep hiding him in your lab, Lanling Jin will consider it theft. I don’t think I need to elaborate what the consequences are for that.”
He glared at Jin Zixuan for the longest time, trying to intimidate him into leaving. But of course, he just glared right back, not backing down inch. Everyone could practically see the lightning crackling between them, could smell the storm brewing. Eventually, very reluctantly, Wei WuXian gritted out, “I’m staying in the room for the whole exam. This is non-negotiable.”
He sent a pointed look towards Jin Zixun, who scoffed in response. Jin Zixuan simply nodded. “Very well.”
Wei WuXian added, “Lan WangJi’s body may be the property of Lanling Jin but he’s also my patient first and foremost. You can’t expect me not to look out for him.”
“You can want to look out for him all you want,” Jin Zixuan added. “That doesn’t change how much power your contract says you have.”
The doctor bristled, wishing it was socially acceptable to bite pompous assholes in the face without repercussions. He moved aside slowly, so slowly in fact that Jin Zixun and Jin Zixuan shoved their way past him.
Wei WuXian knew that these performance reviews in and of themselves were benign things, but it was the Jin family who made them malicious. They only existed to make sure that the investors who put all this money into Lanling Jin’s products were seeing the results they expected to see in a specific time frame. The problem was that the Jins liked to promise too much progress too quickly, and if they didn’t receive that progress, they might push Lan WangJi even harder for his next review. And though he was no longer made completely out of flesh and blood, it was still very possible to ruin him beyond even Wei WuXian’s repair. And if that happened…
He shook his head. That simply wasn’t an option.
Wei WuXian jogged ahead of the Jins, making sure that he was the one who opened Lan WangJi’s door and that his face was the first his patient saw. Thankfully, Lan WangJi was awake and alert, sitting up in bed at the moment, leaning against his pillows and resting in between his physio sessions, reading. He set his book aside when he saw who it was, quite literally lighting up. It was around lunch time, and he was looking forward to Wei WuXian taking a break so the two of them could sit and talk. But no sooner did Wei WuXian say his name that his excitement was dashed by the group of people that pushed by him, filing into Lan WangJi’s room.
Lan WangJi wasn’t surprised by them being here. He too knew that the Jins would return for an official performance review when he left the Recovery Ward. However, at seeing so many people surrounding him, seeing Jin Zixun again, he couldn’t help but feel nervous, his hands clenching in the sheets.
Seeing his forehead light turn green, Wei WuXian walked over to stand next to him. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and Lan WangJi looked up at him to see that Wei WuXian was smiling reassuringly.
“Just do what they say,” he told him apologetically. “The more you cooperate, the sooner they’ll be out of here.”
Lan WangJi took comfort in knowing that unlike last time, there was someone here to protect him. He took a deep, calming breath, and bowed his head. The Jins crowded around the bed, lab assistants and scientists from all different departments, some Wei WuXian recognized, some he didn’t. He backed away a step to give them room, but kept his arms crossed and a wary eye on them the entire time.
The first thing they had Lan WangJi do was sit on the edge of the bed so they could test his range of motion on each limb and each joint. There were a couple people testing each limb, rolling his shoulders, straightening his elbows and flexing his wrists, writing down the degrees on their clipboards. They had him make fists, and tested the strength of his grip by having him grasp a handgrip dynamometer, having him hold each arm upright and instructing him to bend his elbow at a ninety-degree angle. They watched the numbers appear on the dynamometer, shaking their heads.
“Inconsistent,” one lab assistant said. “It fluctuates too much. It goes from twenty kg then jumps up to forty, then dips to nineteen.”
“Of course it’s going to fluctuate,” Wei WuXian sniffed. “He’s only just gone from flexing his hands in physiotherapy to actually grasping things. He’s still learning how to control his grip strength.”
“He is further along at this stage than the other one,” another assistant commented.
“Wen Ning,” Wei WuXian muttered. “He has a name.”
However, it appeared everyone was ignoring him now, whether they were absorbed in their work or following Jin Zixuan’s example, he didn’t know. Still, as long as the light on Lan WangJi’s forehead remained blue, he wouldn’t physically interfere.
Wei WuXian tried not to stare, but it was hard when he was worried. He pretended to stare out the open door to Lan WangJi’s room, but found himself frequently glancing back at the Jins. At the moment, someone was asking, “Can you move your feet at all for me?”
To his credit, Lan WangJi gave it his best effort, but at this point, his feet barely twitched. The Jins shook their heads again, and Wei WuXian resisted the urge to roll his eyes. What else did they expect? Wen Ning had also gained his mobility from the head down. But while they were disappointed, Wei WuXian was very proud of his patient.
Of course, he couldn’t resist telling them so.
“I don’t know what about this you could possibly find disappointing,” Wei WuXian scoffed. “If anything, it’s a testament to how far the technology has come in just a year.”
“We told our investors that we’re expecting the subject to be able to walk within a month,” Jin Zixun stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Wei WuXian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “A month? Are you shitting me? You’ll be lucky if he can stand up in that amount of time! It’s about more than just the neural pathways connecting with each other efficiently. He also has to deal with a much heavier body weight, consistent pain, coordinate his balance”-
“Well,” Jin Zixun said, clicking a pen against his clipboard before he started to write something down, “you either get him walking in a month or the investors pull out. Hell, when they see how easy you’re taking it on him, they might pull out anyway.”
Wei WuXian dearly wanted to spit out another retort, but a warning look from Jin Zixuan shut his mouth. No, he didn’t respect the man, but at the same time, he didn’t want to jeopardize his job. It would take a lot for them to kick him out of Lanling Jin, yes, but the fact remained that there was a chance it could happen. And he didn’t want to think about leaving Lan WangJi alone and at the mercy of these people. So, he clenched his jaw tightly shut and leaned against the wall, huffing irritably.
Once they finished testing his joints, a few assistants all worked in tandem, asking him to turn his head from right to left, as well as shining lights in his eyes, up his nose and in his mouth. No one dared to stick their fingers inside his eyes again however, as if they could sense the daggers Wei WuXian was glaring at them. Someone then moved around to Lan WangJi’s back and said, “Now, he need you to bend a few ways for us so we can check your spine. Let us know if anything hurts. If you could, please lean forward?”
Lan WangJi did so, sweeping his hair over one shoulder so their view wouldn’t be obstructed. They must have liked what they saw, because he heard pens scratching against paper, and then the same person asking, “Good, now please lean to the right, hold it for a few seconds, then to the left and hold it for another few seconds?”
He sighed, hoping this would be over soon. His back was beginning to burn from sitting up for so long. He hated to say it since it made him feel old, but he felt like he was going to need a nap after these people left. He did what they asked, but sadly that wasn’t the end of it. They then popped open his back plates with a soft click, the plates raising smoothly, much like the trunk of a car, before they asked him to repeat the motions, slower this time, while they peered inside his body with flashlights.
Lan WangJi was given a brief moment of relief when they closed him up and said, “Alright, you can lay down now,” before it was dashed harshly when, after he did so, they proceeded to open his chest plates. His eyes widened, feeling a lot more vulnerable now that they were all hovering over him. It only became worse when a few pairs of hands reached inside and began pointing at his lungs, the owners of the hands explaining how they worked to a few interns. Lan WangJi had the misfortune of looking down for a second and seeing his own lungs inflating and deflating rapidly from his mounting panic. He started to feel faint, and saw the reflection of the green light on his forehead in the goggles the Jin’s wore.
That was all the signal Wei WuXian needed to step in and start waving the Jins away, leaning over Lan WangJi and saying, “Alright, you’ve seen enough, close him up and move on,” while doing just that, snapping the chest plates firmly shut.
The scientists flashed him annoyed looks, but he couldn’t have cared less. He watched as they did indeed move away from his chest, but to Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi’s shock, they moved further down his body and, before any of them could react, were working in tandem to pull his sweatpants down over his hips.
Lan WangJi flinched, but other than that, he couldn’t do anything to get away, every nerve burning from exertion. All he could do was sit there and watch as his pants were rolled further down his legs with an almost callous nonchalance from the scientists. It was odd; Lan WangJi had been naked in front of medical professionals before, and right now, he didn’t technically have anything to hide from them. Still, he had never been exposed in front of so many people at once, and none of them were looking up at him to see how he was handling things. It was as if they just expected him to act like the artificial parts that made up his body; perform up to their standards and do as the Jins directed without any fuss.
“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Wei WuXian demanded to know.
Jin Zixuan was the one who answered him, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. “What do you mean? Part of the exam includes his genital port. Grow up.”
“Grow up!?” he hissed. “How would you like it if you were naked in a room full of strangers?”
“This is the last thing they have to do, then we’ll all leave you alone.”
“It’s not like you’re checking the backlight on your fridge, that’s a human being there!” Wei WuXian exclaimed.
“And also the biggest investment Lanling Jin has right now,” Jin Zixuan said. “I’m sorry Wei-Yisheng, but no matter your feelings on the matter, our investors see him as property first and a person second, considering their logo is all over the parts that are currently keeping him alive. Like it or not, as far as they’re concerned, they own him, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”
If Wei WuXian’s blood had been simmering before, it was positively boiling now. He leaned in close, his eyes practically turning red when he growled, “Nothing I can do? Are you fucking- you know what, I have an idea, how about you try saying that again with no teeth!?”
Lan WangJi squirmed, brows pinching together in a clear expression of distress as his pants were worked off and two scientists grabbed each of his legs, hiking them up on their shoulders before spreading them apart far enough so that Jin Zixun could get in between them and start opening up his groin panel. Out of everyone here, it had to be Jin Zixun. Weakly, Lan WangJi tried to pull his legs out of the scientists’ grips, but he was immediately punished by his body with a sharp, warning pain. So, he went still again.
There was a clicking sound as the groin panel was popped out of place, causing Wei WuXian to divert his attention from Jin Zixuan to what Jin Zixun was doing. He was leaning really close, scrutinizing the empty nerve link slots. He then lifted his head, asking Wei WuXian, “Care to explain why this is still empty?”
“Because it is,” Wei WuXian snapped. “I’m drawing up plans, but there’s only so much time in the day to work on things when you guys are constantly dumping new assignments on me. Don’t worry you’ll be the first to know when it’s filled.”
He hoped that explanation would be enough to satisfy him, but to his horror, not only did Jin Zixun get closer, he shone a light in the area and waved one of his assistants over to get a look as well.
After asking the scientists holding Lan WangJi’s legs to bend them back, he said to his assistant, “Now watch. You see how when the thigh flexes, it’s designed so the femoral nerve isn’t compressed by the movement? It bends out of the way of the artificial parts just like it would in a normal leg.”
“May I have a look?” one intern asked.
“Sure, sure. If you can squeeze in, we can take a look at his other thigh.”
However, at the suggestion, Wei WuXian saw Lan WangJi’s forehead flicker from a deep, mortified green to a glaring red, and he was gripping his mattress so hard his joints were creaking. His eyes were wide and pleading, and he was mouthing something that took a few repetitions for Wei WuXian to understand. But when he did…
…Wei Yisheng, please…
…he no longer held back.
Snarling, he physically got between the scientists holding Lan WangJi’s leg in the air and his patient, elbowing them roughly out of the way, frightening them right out of their skins to the point where they let go. He then moved over to Jin Zixun and his assistant, the latter fleeing the minute she saw the murderous expression on Wei WuXian’s face. When the scientists holding up Lan WangJi’s other leg realized what was happening, they also let go, retreating a few meters away. Jin Zixun was the only one foolish enough to hold his ground, but that only lasted for a second before Jin Zixuan grabbed him by the upper arm and yanked him away. Wei WuXian stared them all down for a moment, baring his teeth, but when he was sure they were far enough away, he turned back to Lan WangJi, quickly closing up his panel and pulling his pants up for him. Lan WangJi tried to help, but his arms were so shaky and weak, he couldn’t quite manage.
“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” Wei WuXian gently assured him. “Just relax, deep breaths. Do you think you’re having a panic attack?”
Lan WangJi didn’t want to worry him, but he also didn’t want to lie. Besides, Wei WuXian had told him, “You’re not placing a burden on any of us by telling us you hurt.”
“Mn,” he admitted.
“Alright…do you think you can manage getting back under you blankets? You might feel cold right now, and if you warm up, it’ll help take the edge off the panic. It’s okay, move as slowly as you need to. We’re going to get this taken care of. I can get you a light sedative if you want?”
While that sounded amazing, the only problem was that the source of Lan WangJi’s panic was still in the room, staring like they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Wei WuXian had gone from a feral beast foaming at the mouth to a much more soft-spoken creature that was fussing over his patient like the past couple of minutes hadn’t just occurred. The contrast was disarming for most, but not for all. Jin Zixun and Jin Zixuan in particular were still glaring at Wei WuXian who, when he felt their gaze on him, glared right back and strode around to the end of Lan WangJi’s bed, doing his best to block him from their view.
“I think you have enough info for today,” he said in a way that indicated this was a fact, not an opinion.
“Wei WuXian”- Jin Zixun hissed, taking a step forward, but Jin Zixuan held him back with an arm across his chest.
“I guess you have some brains inside your head after all, Jin Zixuan,” Wei WuXian said with a smirk. “The next person who touches him is going to have their hands in a jar of formaldehyde on my desk. Now get out.”
“Hmph,” Jin Zixuan grumbled. “Just be careful, Wei-Yisheng. In Lanling Jin, results are prioritized above all else, and sometimes that means”-
“Out!”
The word was spat with so much venom that Jin Zixuan shut his mouth, and with a frustrated growl, he began ushering the scientists and assistants toward the door. Jin Zixun lingered for a moment longer, staring Wei WuXian down. Wei WuXian raised his chin, staring down his nose at the other man, before nodding towards the door. Jin Zixun started at his audacity, spitting with rage before turning on his heel and doing as he was told, leaving the room.
When the door clicked behind them, Wei WuXian let his shoulders deflate and relaxed his defensive stance, before turning back to Lan WangJi. He had indeed managed to wriggle at least one leg under his blankets, but he was having a hard time with the other one, his grip too weak. Wei WuXian helped to cover him completely, before patting the top of his hand closest to him.
“Alright, just sit tight,” he told him. “I’ll be right back with that sedative. I think you’ve earned an afternoon off from physio after all this. Ugh, I had no idea they’d be that callous, what the actual fuck. Fuck them and their results. I mean I know they’re important, but if you don’t remain mentally sound and physically healthy throughout this process, it’s going to skew their data and defeat the purpose of this whole venture.”
Before he could leave though, Lan WangJi found himself asking, “They…looked like they were very afraid of you.”
The doctor rubbed the back of his head and admitted, “Oh, I have a bit of a reputation. Punched Zixuan once over…some stuff a few years ago. He was being an asshole like usual, let’s put it that way. So now all the Jins are cautious around me.”
Lan WangJi didn’t quite know how to reply to that, so he just stared at Wei WuXian for a moment, a sense of admiration filling him. He dearly wished he had been strong enough to do that just now.
As if he could read his mind, Wei WuXian stood up straighter and declared, “Well, to prevent them from being able to take advantage of you so easily again, I hate to say it, but we should do what they say and try to get you standing before the next performance review in a couple weeks. Plus, the sooner we get you standing, the sooner we can move onto more intense physio, like helping you learn how to walk again.”
Lan WangJi regarded him for a long moment, before he nodded once. Whatever he had to do, he would. The pain didn’t matter.
It was nothing compared to the pain he had just experienced.
Lan WangJi used that pain and the fear of being unable to get up and run away from the Jins as his motivation for working so hard over the next couple of weeks. Every spare minute he had, he was trying to strengthen his legs and his core, sitting up for longer stretches of time every day, sitting on the edge of his bed and leaning his weight forward so that he could prepare his legs for the eventual weight they were going to have to bear, and doing everything he could in general to strengthen his lower body.
A couple times, he became overconfident, thankfully while Wei WuXian was in the room, and tried to stand up before he was ready. However, the second he tried, he knew he had made a mistake. Vertigo assaulted him, pain burned through his nerves, all the way down his thighs, calves, right to his toes, as they tried to support a weight double what they had in the past. It was too much of a shock, and even his artificial muscles were not strong enough to keep him upright. His knees buckled, and with a clatter, he went straight down to the hard floor.
But no matter his impatience, no matter how frustrated he became or how many times he failed, Wei WuXian was always there to help him up again and to offer encouragement. “Baby steps, Lan WangJi,” he’d say. “You’re already doing so much better than you were just a few minutes ago. Every time you try, you get stronger, and one of these times will be the time you remain on your feet. It’s like riding a bike, yeah? You have to fall a bunch of times before you can do it. Most importantly, you have to remember, you’re doing something that the vast majority of the population would never be able to accomplish.”
Lan WangJi wished he could say it was just Wei WuXian’s encouragement that made him get up and keep trying, but truthfully, it was because he loved how excited the other man became whenever he’d give it another shot. That huge smile brought forth by that wild anticipation absolutely made Lan WangJi’s day.
And this was how they passed their days for a while until, finally, finally, Wei WuXian one day slowly helped Lan WangJi on his feet, letting the man hold onto his shoulders as he rose from his mattress. Lan WangJi’s legs shook under the strain and he staggered a step when his brain mistakenly told him he was going to fall, but hard as it was, he ignored the signals, knowing that his stance was solid. Granted, one of his ankles was bent at an odd angle, much like someone who had no sensation in their feet, but that was to be expected. He was toe to toe with Wei WuXian, watching their feet. He could do this, just a little further.
When his knees couldn’t extend anymore, the two of them held their breath, waiting for Lan WangJi to pitch sideways, but he remained unmoving. A moment, two passed. Wei WuXian met his eyes, and without a word, backed away slowly, keeping his hold on Lan WangJi just in case, until he no longer could. The tips of his fingers left the other man’s body, and he kept his arms in the air for a second, but Lan WangJi remained on his feet.
Another second of silence as they waited, waited, before Wei WuXian couldn’t contain himself anymore and burst out with, “You did it, ahhhhh you did it! I’m so proud of”-
He couldn’t even finish the thought before Lan WangJi’s legs chose that moment to decide they’d had enough and gave out.
Without thinking, Wei WuXian lunged forward and tried to catch him under his armpits, though of course, weighing less than half of what Lan WangJi did, he might as well have been trying to catch a falling elephant. He was dragged down with the other man, the two of them ending up in a heap on the ground.
When they got their bearings and looked up at each other to make sure the other person was okay however, the first thing Lan WangJi noticed was that his doctor had ended up sprawled across his lap, and after Wei WuXian shook his head and spat his frazzled hair out of his mouth, he shifted around so that he was laying on his back, head on one of Lan WangJi’s knees and his spine pressing against the other. He hardly seemed to notice the position he was in though, the color in his cheeks due to excitement, a blinding smile eating up his entire face. Lan WangJi’s forehead meanwhile couldn’t stop flickering a deep green, and he remained frozen in place while Wei WuXian wriggled around into a sitting position.
“Are you okay?” he laughed breathlessly.
Lan WangJi nodded, and Wei WuXian staggered to his feet. The minute he got up though, he started hopping around again, making happy sounds that resembled a dolphin being strangled while saying, “I can’t believe you actually did it within a month, I just can’t. Do you have any idea how incredible you are? Oh wait, wait, shit- let me get Wen Ning or someone to help you up. You’re too heavy for me to- just, yeah sit there for a minute.”
“Can’t do much else,” Lan WangJi reminded him.
“Right but who cares because you stood up!!!” Wei WuXian exclaimed before racing out of the room, and a moment later he heard his voice echoing down the hallway, “Wen Ning guess what!?”
Lan WangJi felt the corners of his mouth pulling up into a smile, and when he looked at the tile floor in front of him, he saw that a bright yellow light was being reflected back at him.
Notes:
Welp, Joshua said I almost made his heart give out when I sent him the scene where LWJ tells WWX about how he used to knit with old ladies in the library, soooo naturally I guess he had to get his revenge because I am crying blood at how beautiful the art is :'D But ahhhhh what a nice angst sandwich this chapter is, it was super fun to write. The chapter title is the title of a Savage Gardens song, which Joshua is a huge fan of, so expect them to pop up more in the chapter titles lol :3 But lol not surprisingly, Lan WangJi's career is my influence, because I myself have my degree in library science :D. And in the last library I worked at we did in fact have a crochet group, and I couldn't resist imagining LWJ knitting with cute old ladies or hanging out with therapy animals. Also I think we all know LWJ quite enjoyed that lap full of scientist at the end ehehehe.
Joshua says: "I would be lying if I said pre-cyborg LWJ is probably everything I enjoy Aesthetic wise shoved in one man. OH WELP. Have your usual serving of angry Wei Wuxian( no worries, we'll get to exactly why he is soon.), a distressed Lan Wangji who gonna's get his revenge eventually and some amount of Clown!Wwx if you squint ; ) , hope everyone enjoy this chapter and stay tuned for more soon!"
Yeeeeaaah same here for the aesthetics Joshua, same here :'D
Chapter Text
“Over there is the engineering department, and oh that’s the pharmaceutical department. Between you and me, that place is always good for entertainment, I don’t know how Jin Guangshan keeps finding them, but there’s always a scandal going with the techs or the pharmacists, it’s like a soap opera. That’s where they develop the nutrient capsules you use along with some of the labs. They’re also going to analyze whatever wastes you produce too.”
Lan WangJi was in the process of being wheeled down to the main physiotherapy department by Wei WuXian and Wen Ning, with each one of them holding a handle, in his first ever wheelchair ride, certainly a step up from being stuck laying down in bed all day. But Wei WuXian had finally deemed him fit enough to leave the lab and go down for some more intense physio. Not only was he going to strengthen his body even further, but he said they could finally work on desensitizing the more sensitive areas of his body, and more importantly, start him on the road to walking.
Naturally, because Wei WuXian was accompanying him, the trip had turned into a mini tour, every second filled with enthusiastic chattering. Lan WangJi’s eyes had been half closed peacefully during the whole trip thus far, but Wei WuXian’s last sentence made him open them all the away in bemusement.
“Wastes?” he echoed.
“Yeah,” Wei WuXian elaborated cheerfully. “It’s going to be different than what people normally produce, but even if it wasn’t, they find it all fascinating. I do too, they promised me first look, I’m dying to see what comes out of you.”
“O…kay.”
“Oh, that’s where the nurses hang out over there, that’s their staff areas,” he pointed to an area off to their left, completely ignoring how unsettled Lan WangJi looked. As they kept going, he said, “There’s a bunch of the labs down the hall that way, oh God they do so much stuff in there, I’ll have to take you in there sometime. Maybe I’ll have you look at some of the slides the microbiologists have, it’s so cool. You never know if you’re going to find flesh eating bacteria or the plague on their slides. It’s so cool to watch them eat the skin off a pig leg or to look at living tissue necrotizing.”
He sounded so giddy, and he was practically dancing in place even as they walked. Lan WangJ huffed in amusement. “Sounds fascinating.”
“Dining area is down that hallway, Sizhui really likes the pork balls they serve…there’s the legal department, not nearly as fun, I think out of everyone they drown in the most paperwork. No flesh-eating bacteria in their offices, which sucks.”
“Naturally.”
“And right there is the Bioinformatics and Computational Biology department, they do so much stuff too, like looking at the effects of radiology, analyzing genetic trait inheritance, ugh it’s all so cool, Lan WangJi you have no idea. There’s a psychiatric division, and a fitness area for staff oh my God I just hope I can take you to all of these rooms sometime.”
Suddenly, Wen Ning elbowed him gently and piped up, “Wei-Yisheng.”
He nodded towards Lan WangJi, who was looking slightly dazed from this flood of information. Immediately, Wei WuXian started bowing over and over again, exclaiming, “I’m so sorry! Ugh, Lan WangJi, I told you, when I talk too much you have to tell me to shut up! Otherwise I’ll just keep going for hours, and I don’t want to annoy you! I’m so, so sorry, just don’t mind me, ignore my big mouth.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead flickered yellow, and he turned his head to face them when he replied, “I don’t mind. I find what you say interesting.”
Wei WuXian’s mind went completely blank at those words, save for the presence of a tiny gremlin somewhere deep inside that would not stop screaming, “He’s just being nice he’s just being nice he’s just being nice,” in a continuous, ear piercing loop. Unsure what to say, he stuttered out, “T-That’s…uh, you’re very kind, but seriously, you can tell me to be quiet if I’m getting annoying. Everyone does it, I’m used to it! Been shushed at every job I’ve ever had! So really, it’d be weirder if you didn’t say anything.”
Lan WangJi shook his head. “Wei WuXian isn’t annoying. I learn a lot from him every day. And he reminds me of Sizhui.”
Wei WuXian’s awkwardness almost immediately dissolved into laughter, and he replied, “I’ll take that as a compliment. Your son is very bright, and he’s so fun to talk to!”
“He says the same thing about you.”
He waved the other man away, saying, “Alright that’s enough, I can’t take anymore compliments today or I’ll die. Do you want that to happen, Lan WangJi? For your doctor to die at your hands? Then you’ll be stuck with someone horrid like Wen Qing, and you don’t want that. Right Wen Ning?”
Wen Ning’s eyes went wide and haunted before he shook his head at Lan WangJi emphatically.
Soon after that, they arrived at the physiotherapy department. Well, that was the less formal name for it. Officially, it was called the Rehabilitation and Integrative Medicine department. Lan WangJi had been to physiotherapy off and on over the course of his life as doctors tried to keep his joints and tendons from freezing in place. But as he’d gotten older and his arthritis became more painful, he’d given up on going. Even now, he was a little dubious as they passed through the glass doors. His high-powered eyes were focusing on every little detail in the room, from the threads fraying on the rolled-up exercise mats to the red iron flakes on some of the weights piled up on one side of the room. Lan WangJi would certainly say that this place was far bigger and had a lot more packed into it than anyplace he’d been to before, easily the size of an entire indoor gym. In fact, it had much the same equipment inside it as an indoor gym, treadmills and ellipticals off against one wall for example, along with an entire pool behind some glass doors. Safe to say, Lan WangJi didn’t think they’d be using that. But he was curious just what they’d be using now, if it would be anything like what he’d tried before.
He just hoped he maintained his motivation this time around.
They pushed him over towards one small corner of the room, Wei WuXian saying, “I know it looks big and intimidating in here, but you’ll get used to it after a while.”
Wen Ning added, “Mhmm. It’ll seem like a second home to you. I spend more time in here than I do my own room most days. And…Wei-Yisheng comes up with fun ways to build yourself up.”
Wei WuXian winked at Lan WangJi, who answered sincerely, “I have no doubt.”
They both helped him out of his wheelchair and transferred him to a chair that was more comfortable, more conducive to spending more time in. After he was safely seated, Wen Ning said, “I’ll be around if either of you need me. I think I’ll go work on some physio of my own.”
“Sounds good,” Wei WuXian agreed, and said to Lan WangJi, “See? Even after I discharge you, you’re going to have to keep up on this stuff. Don’t worry, it’s not going to be as hard as it sounds. You just have to make sure you stay active so your nerves and artificial muscles don’t freeze up and ‘forget’ how to do their job. So, look.” He nodded towards Wen Ning, who was getting on one of the treadmills. “Wen Ning sits around for a lot of his job, just like you will, so he comes down here to lift weights or run on the treadmill.”
“Like a person with a flesh body might,” Lan WangJi concluded.
“Exactly. You’ll be no different than the gym people who want to stay in shape. First thing’s first, we’re going to work on desensitizing the nerves in your hands.”
He left him sitting there for a moment to rummage around in a closet that was so large and from what Lan WangJi could see, so deep, that it might as well have been a cave, and he had the brief intrusive thought that he was going to lose his doctor in there. But after a minute or two, Wei WuXian emerged, carrying a pile of what looked like laundry. Yet when he got closer, Lan WangJi saw that it was many large scraps of cloth; silk, wool, even a few animal pelts. He watched as Wei WuXian balanced on one foot to hook his ankle around a table leg and pull it over in front of Lan WangJi-a feat that made him wobble so much he was sure he was going to topple over-before dropping his pile on its surface.
“Alright, so this is the first thing Wen Ning worked on too,” he explained as he separated all the individual scraps of cloth into short rows. “What I’m going to have you do is just lay your hands on each of these fabrics one at a time for as long as you can stand. The goal is over time, we’re going to build up your tolerance to them until they no longer hurt. Some you may never find pleasant to touch, but at least you’ll be able to stand them. We’re going to start with the softest one, then build our way up. So today, how about you start with silk?”
Lan WangJi eyed said silk; it was a scarf, obviously well used for this sort of thing. That didn’t seem too difficult. Silk was smooth, hardly any texture at all to speak of. So, he carefully placed his hand on it, and was surprised at the shock he received up his wrist when he registered just how cold it was. Of course. Silk was always a little cold when one first put it on, but in his old body, it had always been such an easy thing to ignore. Wei WuXian saw his expression tighten, a little line forming between his eyebrows, and said encouragingly, “Just hold it there for ten seconds. I’ll count on my watch.”
He did so, and after Lan WangJi pulled his hand away, shaking it in relief, Wei WuXian immediately told him, “Again. Let’s try eleven this time.”
The man hesitated, staring at the silk for a long moment, not wanting to experience that cold shock again. Wei WuXian noticed, and quickly said, “Or not. Did that hurt more than you were expecting?”
Lan WangJi nodded, and put his hand back in his lap, mumbling, “Don’t wear a lot of silk anyway.”
Wei WuXian laughed at his pout; he couldn’t help it, Lan WangJi looked like he’d been betrayed in the most horrible way. So, he said, “Okay, how about you pick what you want to touch next?”
The man looked over the various scraps of cloth for a moment, before he lit up at the sight of a rabbit pelt. His hand hovered over it for a moment, before he set it on the pelt. There was that shock of cold again, but it was much briefer than before. However, now he had to get used to the sensations of all the individual hairs, though with how dense the fur was, it ended up being easier to do than he thought, since it was difficult to discern one hair from another. He held his hand there for twelve seconds before he had to pull it back, glancing up at Wei WuXian for his reaction. Wei WuXian of course was nodding and smiling in approval.
“Good job,” he said. “Why’d you pick that one? If you want to tell me?”
“A-Yuan and I used to have rabbits when he was younger,” Lan WangJi answered. “They died years ago though.”
Wei WuXian’s expression became oddly contemplative, and after a moment, he started idly playing with his watch’s wrist band, sliding it side to side. Confused, Lan WangJi asked, “Wei WuXian?”
His doctor’s eyes flickered back into focus, and he smiled at him. “Nothing. Just making more plans for your recovery program. That’s so cute, you had rabbits, really? For some reason I didn’t picture you as the pet type.”
Lan WangJi placed his hand back on the fur, stroking it absent-mindedly. He explained. “XiChen and I weren’t allowed to have pets growing up. When I adopted Sizhui though, he was…so quiet. Solemn. Afraid. The first thing that caught his interest and made him smile were the pet rabbits on a family friend’s farm. So…”
Wei WuXian’s smile grew wider and he couldn’t help but gush, “So you had to get him some, oh my God you big softie. That is so sweet. Between that, the big sweaters, the glasses, and all the altruism, I’m going to explode. There will be nothing but a puddle of rainbows after I’m gone and you’ll have to clean it up.”
Lan WangJi breathed a laugh. “I cannot walk though. And I don’t know where you keep your cleaning things.”
“Shush, I don’t want to hear your logic. Let me explode in peace.”
Lan WangJi kept going with that for a while, moving on from the rabbit fur to a soft blanket, to smooth rubber, to attempting the silk again. When he was able to hold his hand on each item for fifteen seconds, Wei WuXian told him, “Let’s end on a high note for that and move onto something else, shall we?”
He agreed, eager to see what else Wei WuXian had in mind for him. After moving all the fabrics to the edge of the table, his doctor went and grabbed a stress ball out of the closet, before he tossed it to Lan WangJi. The man surprised himself when he actually managed to catch it, and it looked like Wei WuXian was equally as surprised, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline.
“Nice job!” he praised. “That’s what I like to see, some good hand eye coordination!” He pointed to the ball. “But anyway, I’d like to test to see where your grip strength is now. I know the Jins said it was fluctuating a lot during their review, but that’s what I’d expect at this stage. So we’re going to see if we can make it more consistent and hopefully help you learn how to control it. Just give it a squeeze when you’re ready.”
Lan WangJi did as he asked, squeezing the ball, and almost immediately, the thin skin of it torn and the sand inside started spilling out. Wei WuXian stared at the falling sand for a moment, sucking on his teeth in thought, before he spun around saying, “Not to worry, we have others, hold on a minute.”
He handed him another stress ball, then another. Lan WangJi killed both of them in quick succession. Still, Wei WuXian remained optimistic, even as he swept up the mess. “Okay, cool, so we know your grip is rather strong at the moment. That gives us a good starting point. We’re going to work on dialing your strength back a bit.”
To give him proper incentive, Wei WuXian trotted over to what turned out to be a refrigerator, because of course a physio room this big and fancy had one of those in it, and came back with a carton of eggs. He placed them on the table next to Lan WangJi.
“There, with eggs, it’s super easy to tell when you’re applying too much pressure,” Wei WuXian said, opening up the carton and taking an egg out. “Don’t worry, I don’t care if we go through the whole carton and then some today. We’ll have you work on this for thirty minutes before we move onto something else.”
Deciding that sounded fair, Lan WangJi took the egg when it was handed to him. Wei WuXian sat himself on the table, watching. Lan WangJi took a deep breath, and put all of his concentration into keeping his hand steady. But even though it felt like he was barely touching the egg, it still cracked and exploded into a yellow puddle within a couple of seconds, the yolk hitting the floor with a wet splat. He sighed in defeat, but before he could anguish over it for too long, Wei WuXian was handing him another egg, telling him, “It’s only the first one. Try again.”
He did. Once more. Twice more. By the third time, his forehead light was flickering a distressed green and Wei WuXian was whistling lowly, staring at the mess. “I should have brought a bowl so I could make myself an omelet, I haven’t eaten today yet,” he commented. He then looked up at Lan WangJi, grinning teasingly. “Or we could market you as the world’s most expensive egg cracker?”
“How about we use your head to crack the next few instead?” Lan WangJi suggested, watching the slime drip slowly from his fingers.
Wei WuXian laughed, long and loud, doubling over, and the other man couldn’t help but feel his frustration melt away almost instantaneously, forehead turning a content yellow. When Wei WuXian noticed this, his laughter started to fade, confusion welling up in him instead. Lan WangJi’s forehead had been yellow so much lately, especially in Wei WuXian’s presence. Too often, he decided. If it was malfunctioning, well, he’d put it on the back burner to look at later.
Lan WangJi’s forehead faded from yellow to blue again shortly after anyway, and a moment he was asking, “Why haven’t you eaten yet?”
“Oh, well,” Wei WuXian shrugged, “I mean, I don’t usually eat breakfast. Too busy, not enough time, you know.”
The other man frowned at him disapprovingly. “Bad habit. Three meals a day is important.”
From a little way away, Wen Ning, who also thought Wei WuXian’s habit of barely eating enough to keep a bird alive was a bad one, took the opportunity to mention, “He’s lucky if he gets one meal a day most days.”
“Hey, don’t rat me out like that!” Wei WuXian exclaimed, twisting around to look at him.
“Hmph,” Lan WangJi huffed. “When I can manage it, I will cook for you.”
The doctor whipped back around, before he moaned, “Noooo, you don’t have to. I’ve been managing just fine like this for fourteen years, really it’s okay.”
Fourteen years!? How was this man even alive? “It is not. I will cook three meals a day for you and you will eat them.”
“Aiyah, now I know what it feels like to be Sizhui.”
“No, Sizhui eats three meals a day and has never argued with me about it.”
“Lan WangJi!”
They took breaks throughout the day from the various exercises that Lan WangJi was put through. Whenever he grew frustrated, Wei WuXian would tell him he could rest and distract himself with a different activity so that frustration didn’t turn into anger. It was during one of these breaks that Lan WangJi brought up to his doctor in a small, quiet voice, “In time, I could play again.”
Since this sentence had come out of nowhere, Wei WuXian felt a little lost. “Huh?”
“My guqin,” Lan WangJi explained. “I was just thinking. When I get better, I could play it again.”
The doctor perked up, brightening visibly at his words. “Absolutely! Lan XiChen said you were very good! When you master a bit more fine motor control, you can have him bring it. We’d love to hear you play, wouldn’t we Wen Ning?”
Wen Ning nodded. “Mhmm!”
Lan WangJi closed his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips, his forehead turning yellow again. Properly motivated again, he took another egg out of the container by his elbow.
After work and school were done for the day, Wei WuXian sent Lan Sizhui and Lan XiChen a text letting them know where they were, and soon after he saw them appearing by the glass doors, perking up when they realized they had finally found the right room. They both came over to sit next to Lan WangJi, who was currently stretching his wrists by pulling back on his fingers with his opposite hand, at his table.
Seeing them there, Wen Ning decided to take his leave, bidding the Lans goodbye so he could return back to his room. He figured that if something happened from here on out, between the three of them, they would be able to handle it. After all, besides the destruction of a handful of stress balls, a dozen and a half eggs and a mop handle Lan WangJi had been holding in order to clean up his mess, things had been quiet all day. Surely nothing could go wrong in the remaining hour they’d be there?
Famous last words, of course.
No more than ten minutes after Wen Ning left the room, Lan WangJi, who thought he finally was getting at least a little bit of a handle on his strength after working on it for nearly eight hours straight, lost his focus for a second. But that second was all it took for his wrist to make a horrendous creak, followed by the sound of metal scraping against metal as he accidentally pulled his fingers back too far, causing them to bend unnaturally. He froze in place, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.
The second he heard the sound, Lan Sizhui and Lan XiChen were at his side, asking him what was wrong, was he okay, all the while trying not to panic when they saw the state of his hand. When Wei WuXian came over however, they scooted out of the way, giving them both room.
The first thing he said was, “Ah good, that system is working. Your forehead light is orange.”
Lan XiChen, upon noticing that what he said was true, asked with an anxious edge to his voice, “What does that mean?”
“Not to worry, the light is just there to let me know where something is wrong with his body,” Wei WuXian answered. “Like the check engine light on your car.”
He took Lan WangJi’s hand in his, turning it over a few times and looking closely at it for a minute or two, before saying, “Well, I can fix it, but we’re going to have to pick up a few parts from Nie Mingjue first. Let me think for a minute, we’re going to need….”
He fumbled around for pen and paper, writing out a quick list, picking up Lan WangJi’s hand every once in a while before turning back to it and adding another item. When he was finished, he declared, “There! Now I’ll be sure not to forget.”
He got up from the table, and was about to start heading over to the door, before the intrusive gremlin in his head once again drop kicked a wicked idea to the forefront of his brain, causing him to stop in his tracks and look over at Lan XiChen. He asked nonchalantly, “Hey, wanna come down to the engineering department with me? I’ll need more hands to carry all these parts.”
Truthfully, Lan XiChen had started to malfunction internally the instant he heard Nie Mingjue’s name. Caught off guard, he could only reply automatically and cheerily, “Oh yeah sure, no problem!”
Lan Sizhui stayed behind with Lan WangJi, hardly seeming to notice when they left, too busy fussing over his dad. They got to the end of the hallway before Wei WuXian took a sharp right and declared suddenly, “You know what, just in case, let’s pick him up coffee too. He likes black, like his soul. It’s saved my life sometimes. And hmmm, now that I think about it, it might be better if you pay for it so it doesn’t look so obvious that I’m trying to suck up to him. You can just say it’s a thank you for helping to save Lan WangJi’s life.”
Lan XiChen didn’t put up a fight on this suggestion, not that he expected him to, saying, “Of course, that seems reasonable.”
After they paid for said coffee-Wei WuXian sticking his list to the coffee cup so they didn’t lose it- and started heading over to their original destination, he couldn’t help but be a brat and point out, “You seem nervous.”
Lan XiChen replied with, “Well, that is, you said that one time that Nie Mingjue likes to yell at you.”
Well, he certainly came up with a convincing explanation faster than Wei WuXian would have. The doctor grinned at him, flipping his glasses down over his face just so he could look over the rims of them for dramatic effect, and said, “A justified fear. All the times I’ve been close to death have been not in my lab, but in Nie Mingjue’s office. And once at college involving a gallon jug of Red Bull and booze that Nie Huaisang and I chugged to see if we would get high first or drunk first.”
“I…see.”
Too soon for either of their tastes, they made it down to the engineering department, a sign on the outside of the door marking it as so. Inside, they could hear all manner of sounds that Lan XiChen remembered hearing in a garage whenever his car needed to be repaired, lots of whirring and buzzing. When Wei WuXian opened the door, he wasn’t given any time to prepare himself, because there was Nie Mingjue, right up front, bent over a work bench, a sweaty, greasy mess and heavy leather gloves shoved over muscular arms up to the elbow. His eyes were obscured by thick, dark goggles, and for good reason; there were white sparks flying all over the place from what he was working on. But when he saw people come in, he stopped what he was doing and turned off the power on the machines he was using. He took off his goggles and laid them on the table, before running a hand through his sweaty hair and then grabbing at a grease-stained towel to dab at the back of his neck.
Safe to say Lan XiChen looked like he was about to pass out, something Wei WuXian definitely noticed.
However, before the doctor could even open his mouth to tell them why they were there, Nie Mingjue’s eyes narrowed at him and he threw down his towel with a harsh slap against the table, his face turning purple with rage. He immediately began roaring, “Again!? What the fuck are you doing with my parts, Wei WuXian? Dropping them from the top floor? I swear to God, the next thing I’m building is a fucking body chute and I’m gonna toss your corpse down it! The shit you break is worth more than your piddly ass life! It’s gonna take all your relatives living and dead to put you back together again because I’ll rip you to…”
For a second, his eyes left Wei WuXian’s nonchalantly grinning face, and for the first time, he realized the doctor hadn’t come in here alone. His gaze slid over to this second individual, and the rest of his angry rant died in his throat. His expression softened, and suddenly the only phrase he could muster up was, “Oh…hello there.”
Lan XiChen felt very much like a deer in the headlights. Though he was holding the coffee, and aw crap the list as well, he had planned on handing both to Wei WuXian to give to the engineer. He hadn’t planned on making eye contact. At the moment, he was just happy he was in a place where there were a lot of doctors of all kinds because he was sure he was going to need one. Still, even though his shoulders were practically frozen by his ears and he wasn’t quite sure he remembered how his lungs were supposed to work, he managed to say, “Hi. I’m…hello. No I’m not. I’m Lan XiChen. Not that that matters. I mean it does! But- uh, Wei-Yisheng told me to bring you this list and your coffee…black?”
If it were possible, Nie Mingjue’s expression grew even softer, and the beginnings of a smile even started to form on his face. He glanced over at the doctor and said, “Huh, Wei WuXian, you don’t usually ask people to run errands with you.” He then switched his gaze back over to Lan XiChen. “You’re the new project’s brother?”
“How did you know?” Lan XiChen asked.
Nie Mingjue shrugged. “You look pretty similar. Well, also, I built your brother's face so I see the similarities, though yours is n- " He cut himself off, clearing his throat, and instead finished with, “Uh, never mind.”
Lan XiChen nearly dropped the coffee, and watching him fumble to hold onto it made Wei WuXian cackle like a fiend. However, no matter how loudly he laughed, it seemed like the two of them had completely forgotten his presence. Once again, Lan XiChen pushed his hair behind one ear, fingers catching on the chain of the earring he was wearing and nearly yanking the cuff off his cartilage. He tried to play it off like he’d meant to do that, hastily smoothing back his hair even more, but Nie Mingjue noticed the nervous movement, and felt somewhat relieved. At least he wasn’t the only one.
Still, he felt the need to say, “Sorry, was that too…?”
“No!” Lan XiChen quickly assured him. “No, it’s fine.”
He meant it too. So many people said that he looked like his brother, that the two of them could be twins even. They were seen as a pair. A beautiful pair, but a pair nonetheless. So to be getting this kind of individual attention was nice, especially from someone he found attractive. His reservations were still there, but he figured it couldn’t hurt to at least talk to the guy. Either way, they had business to attend to before anything else. Hastily, he handed Nie Mingjue the coffee and the list attached to it, and after Nie Mingjue took the sticky note off, he took a sip of the coffee.
With that, he turned away, heading back into one of the store rooms with the list to dig around for the parts. But again, when he came back, he hardly acknowledged Wei WuXian’s existence, handing him the pile of boxes and leaving him to stumble backwards with a grunt while he kept his eyes on Lan XiChen. He seemed nervous though, mind going a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what to say next. Eventually, he lamely settled on, “I don’t know if you noticed, but normally the cafes here sell terrible coffee.”
Lan XiChen laughed. “I think it’s a curse all medical facilities share.”
Relieved that he was going with it, Nie Mingjue continued with, “Honestly, you know who has the best coffee? This little place near the park here. I used to go there all the time in college.”
Lan XiChen lit up. “I love that place!”
And off they went, devolving from that, to what they liked to eat there, to fun things to do around town and more. Wei WuXian stayed and watched for a while, but he figured out after the first ten minutes that the conversation they were having wasn’t going to end any time soon. Smiling to himself in spite of the large armful of parts, he held them tight to his chest and made his way out.
When he returned to the physio room without Lan XiChen, of course the first thing Lan Sizhui asked was what happened to him, and all Wei WuXian could do was say, “I don’t think we’re going to see your uncle for the rest of the afternoon.”
It was a few days later when Lan WangJi finally worked up the courage to try taking his first steps.
He stood between the two handrails, gripping them hard, and some irrational part of him thought they might bend, but they didn’t. Wei WuXian was right there, telling him, “It’s okay. Just give it a shot. See how many steps you can take. If it’s one or two, I’ll still be really proud and probably scream.”
Well, that was all the motivation Lan WangJi needed. Using all his concentration, practically shouting in his head for his legs to move, eventually they did, and when he took that first step, his knee didn’t buckle; it held his weight. Gasping in wonder, he took another step, then another. And he just kept going, watching his feet, bracing himself every time he put his weight on them, waiting for them to give out. As he took his sixth and seventh steps, his legs did wobble, and he had to stop to grip the handrails extra tightly, but he didn’t go down. The next step he took was steadier, and so was the one after that.
Maybe…he could actually do this.
Wei WuXian started to squeal, though he was biting his lip very hard to try to muffle the sound in case he disrupted Lan WangJi’s concentration. Excitedly, he zoomed over to the other end of the handrails, coming to a stop in the gap between them, and said, “Just keep going! See if you can make it all the way over!”
Lan WangJi hesitated; he was over halfway through. His legs were already burning, his lower back hurt, and his arms were starting to shake. He looked up at Wei WuXian, who was practically quivering with barely restrained excitement, excitement on his behalf. Excitement not just for the fact that his project was performing up to par, but because Lan WangJi was, as he so often put it, amazing and unlike anyone else. And as always, Lan WangJi wanted to please him, to earn those words of praise because he liked how they made him feel.
So, taking a deep breath, pushing through the pain as he always did, he forced himself to take those last few steps, the sound of metal against the tile echoing in the vast quietness of the room. After just three steps he wanted to sit down, and Wei WuXian must have seen the discomfort on his face, because he said, “Just a few more steps. You can do it, Lan WangJi. Don’t look at your feet, look at me. Focus on me, and you can make it.”
Slowly, Lan WangJi did as he asked, raising his gaze and settling it on the other man. Wei WuXian was smiling, so kind as always, that like looking at the sun, Lan WangJi became blind to everything else except the bright light in front of him. The world fell away, and Lan WangJi took another step. Another, then two more. He was so close but so tired…
Finally, he took that last step, putting himself in front of his goal, but his arms decided they’d had enough to holding him up and started to give out. Seeing this, Wei WuXian, obviously having learned nothing from the last time Lan WangJi started to fall, leapt forward to catch him. However this time, he succeeded, only because his patient was stronger than he had been then, more steady. He held him under his armpits, keeping him from falling any more, instinctively holding him tight to his chest.
Lan WangJi thought he heard Wei WuXian ask if he was okay, but when he looked up and saw how close their faces were-that he could see his own face being reflected in Wei WuXian’s eyes-he didn’t register any of it.
In said reflection, he could see his forehead immediately going a deep green. Embarrassment, hot and overwhelming, choked him. He quickly averted his gaze, and after a moment, pulled himself to his feet again.
Yet, just a second before he broke eye contact, he saw that in between the green, there was also a flash of soft, rosy pink.
Notes:
Ayyyy you guys get a little treat this chapter, two arts instead of one, as well as featured artists who have done wonderful fanart for this fic! Btw yes, we both welcome fanart, please, it helps fuel us, and we're grateful and delighted by every piece :'D But you guys might recognize these pieces above that Joshua did, as they've been out for a while! The second one is actually the first art he ever did for this AU, but it inspired the scene for LWJ breaking his hand, you can think of it as the aftermath lol when WWX fixes it. Also thank you Joshua for helping with letting me know all the different departments that exist in Lanling Jin or I'd be up shit creek without a paddle.
But below are these wonderful artists have done fanart for this fic! We love them so much! :D
Velia Saties (you can also find them on tumblr @iwishicouldflytospace): https://twitter.com/Veliasaties/status/1357016451572449283
sweetlittlevampire: https://fairygardencorgis.tumblr.com/post/646506964900347904/sweetlittlevampire-oh-look-it-seems-borgji
Joshua says: "There is nothing funnier than seeing a composed man turn into a complete himbo when in presence of crush, and said crush seeing through it all and being just as himbo. On another note : I don't cry easily , at all but oh boy am I weak over anything regarding medical recovery or feels attack and people struggling with their illnesses but improving and doing better and people around them giving them the encouragment they need. I am but a soft man with simple needs. ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY WITH THE APPEARANCE OF THE PINK LIGHT? DUN DUN DUN."
Aka I almost killed Joshua with all the cuteness in this chapter and I'm just interpreting it as more encouragement to do it again in future ones xD
Chapter 9: Show Me
Notes:
Baby, I feel it deep down in my bones
There's a part of me no one else has known
When you look, not afraid of what you see
But you say show me, you say show meAnd I know you can see into my soul
To the part of me no one else has known
When you look in my eyes, I do believe
I can show me, I can show me - Show Me, Idina Menzel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan WangJi’s physiotherapy progressed far better and faster than either he or his doctor could have imagined. Far from being the hopeless venture Lan WangJi expected it to be, he improved a little every day. Soon, he was desensitizing his hands to all sorts of textures, no matter what they were. He broke fewer eggs. It became easier to walk using the handrails, his legs growing steadier the more they were used. He was doing so well in fact, that often Wei WuXian would leave him to his own devices for short periods of time in the physio room while he went and did other work. When he came back, he would bring his laptop and small projects he could do away from his desk, only running back to his lab when necessary.
It was returning from one of these trips that Wei WuXian came back to the unexpected sight of Lan WangJi kneeling on a mat next to his wheelchair. Thinking he’d fallen and was having trouble getting up, Wei WuXian trotted up to him, saying, “Are you okay? Here, just a minute we’ll get you…”
But as he made it around to the front of him, he trailed off. Lan WangJi’s forehead light was bright yellow, followed by brief flashes of aqua. His eyebrows were drawn together, and he was biting his lower lip, but what really surprised Wei WuXian was the fact that his chin was quivering. He had no doubt that if he were capable, Lan WangJi would be crying. So why…?
He knelt down, saying the other man’s name uncertainly. After a moment, Lan WangJi said thickly, “I haven’t been able to sit on my feet since I was a child.”
…Oh.
Wei WuXian just stared, for once in his life, speechless. What was there to say? Lan WangJi shifted backwards, sitting fully on the mat while he crossed his legs in the lotus position in front of him, staring at them in wonder. After a moment, he uttered, “I remember being young and being able to sit like this too…then gradually as I got older, I stopped being able to do it. I could feel the change happening in my body, my joints losing their mobility a little at a time. It frightened me. It was always embarrassing having to spread out so much on the floor when the other kids could fold their legs like this. Then when I got off the floor, I had to be helped up. It was…”
He trailed off, staring at his hands in his lap, the yellow fading away from his forehead to be replaced by deep green. Was he ashamed to admit such things? Why?
Still, it didn’t stop him from putting his arms out in front of him and mentioning, “I’ve never been able to straighten my arms all the way like this before either. Before, I could only straighten them this far.” He bent his elbows slightly.
“Lan WangJi…” Wei WuXian breathed.
“And this,” he continued, turning his head from side to side. “I couldn’t turn my neck like this. I couldn’t bend my wrists like this either. Everything was frozen.”
After a moment, Wei WuXian said, “You were in that much pain.” It wasn’t a question, and Lan WangJi was grateful he hadn’t phrased it like one.
“So much that many nights, I questioned whether or not life was worth living,” he replied lowly.
It was as if Wei WuXian had opened the floodgates to the emotional pain that had built up from the physical pain over the years, because Lan WangJi just couldn’t seem to stop talking. “Sizhui was taking care of me more than I took care of him. Near the end, I couldn’t play either. My meds weren’t responding anymore, and the ones I did take, the side effects didn’t make it worth taking them.”
“That’s…” Wei WuXian breathed.
“I felt like a prisoner, trapped by frozen bones and ligaments and pain bad enough that it would keep me up at night, or made it so I couldn’t enjoy anything. The RA affected everything, from how I looked, to how I acted, to what I did.”
Lan WangJi paused, before he admitted, “You know, that’s how the car accident happened. Limited mobility in my neck means I couldn’t turn my head to see over my shoulder. So, when I switched lanes, I didn’t see how fast the truck was coming up behind me.
“But now that’s all done. I’m never going to wake up and have a panic attack because my hands have flared up again, or not be able to go for a walk because my hip hurts. The further along in this treatment I go, the more I see that this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you made it possible.”
Wei WuXian just stared at him, mouth agape. Naturally, RA had been mentioned in some of his coursework when he’d been younger, but hearing about its symptoms and speaking to someone who it affected every day were very different things. Often he’d heard about how painful the disorder could be, but he didn’t know it was so bad that it could drive someone to contemplate killing themselves. It was heartbreaking.
When he had started this venture of creating artificial bodies, he’d always thought that the people who received them would consider the bodies to be a downgrade, not an upgrade. After all, there were many things they couldn’t do in these bodies, like cry to release emotion and eating the things they used to love just being the tip of the iceberg. He shook his head, stunned, before saying, “You and Wen Ning are so weird. He said the same thing after his surgery.”
That got Lan WangJi thinking, but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask, or know such information at all. Still, he couldn’t help but try. “How did Wen Ning…?”
Wei WuXian smiled at him, and finished, “End up in one of these bodies?”
Lan WangJi nodded.
“Well, he wasn’t supposed to. I had just started building my first cybernetic body back then. I didn’t know who would inhabit it yet, but Wen Ning wasn’t even a thought. But uh, there was a university frat party. Lots of drunk guys, I guess he had some accidental bad blood with one of them, something about how the Wens wronged his family in the past. They assaulted him and broke his femur, and a clot traveled to his heart, causing a heart attack. Damaged his heart beyond repair, and his particular blood type made it so that they couldn’t find a donor in time. It was Wen Qing who came to me, knowing I had this body half finished, and begged me to transfer her brother into it.”
Wei WuXian shook his head, laughing humorlessly to himself. “I know Wen Ning tells me I saved his life, that I did him a favor, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder if he’s just saying that to make me feel not so guilty. After all, because I had to skip ahead so many steps in building the body so it would be done in time, it’s glitchy and full of problems. He took way longer to recover than you, and once in a while his body goes through these flareups where his human parts try to reject the mechanical ones. Thankfully they’re never really that severe, but they give us all a scare. He’s just amazing, the way he keeps going in spite of the pain he must feel. I just can’t even...”
Lan WangJi insisted, “You are the amazing one. Not us.”
The other man shrugged and turned his face away, mumbling, “Well, doctors are supposed to help people, aren’t they?”
“Yes, but sometimes, they don’t prioritize that. I cannot speak for Wen Ning, but you are the best doctor I’ve ever had.”
Wei WuXian sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Alright, seriously, you have to warn me before you say things like that because I’m a puddle of goo masquerading as a man, and if I receive too many compliments at once, my heart will give out. Trust me, I’m a scientist, that’s how it works.”
Lan WangJi smiled indulgently. “If you say so.”
Later that same day, Wei WuXian received a text from his sister, Jiang Yanli, asking if he wanted to go out to dinner with her, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling. Always a sucker for a free meal and any chance to spend time with his busy sister, Wei WuXian replied that he would love to, and when she told him that they were going someplace that had food so spicy he wouldn’t be able to taste anything but rubber for the next month he nearly cried from sheer gratitude. Jiang Yanli was the only other person he knew that liked food so spicy it could make the devil himself complain about how hot it was.
By the time the end of the day rolled around, Wei WuXian was practically skipping out of his lab with a quick shout over his shoulder to Lan WangJi that he’d be back in a couple hours, and when he saw his sister and nephew waiting for him in the front foyer, all the stress from the day seemed to melt away. Even Jin Ling’s sour expression at seeing him didn’t do anything to dull his mood.
“JieJie!” he exclaimed, practically tackling her and pulling her in for a tight hug.
She laughed, “You’re going to squeeze my soul out! A-Xian, back up, back up, I heard my back crack in like twelve different places!”
Just as he was about to do what she asked, she pulled him back in and squeezed him twice as hard, knocking the breath out of him and arguably making his back crack in even more places. However, as she was hugging him, she started to pat over his ribs, and Wei WuXian knew what was coming. All she had to do was back out of the embrace and give him a look, one he avoided guiltily.
Apparently, even her son knew what was coming next, because he said, “We know, he’s thin, he needs to eat more, but you know he’s not going to. When has he ever listened to anything you say?”
Wei WuXian snickered. “Aw, you really do take after me, because you never listen to your mother either.”
Jin Ling crossed his arms, turning his nose up in the air. “Hmph!”
But just as Wei WuXian was about to go over and pull him into the headlock of a lifetime, he heard an annoyingly familiar voice call from the other end of the foyer, “Jin Ling.”
All three of them turned their heads to see Jin Zixuan standing there, looking expectantly at his son, who spared him a single look out of the corner of his eye before he glanced away again, tensing up. Without thinking, Wei WuXian stepped in front of his nephew, blocking him from Jin Zixuan’s view, a growl building in his chest. However, before he could stomp over and give Jin Zixuan a piece of his mind, Jiang Yanli put a hand on his shoulder. Wei WuXian looked down at her, and though she said nothing, her eyes told him, Everything’s alright. So, he stood down, posture relaxing, but he kept a wary eye on Jin Zixuan.
Jiang Yanli went over to Jin Ling, patting his upper back reassuringly and saying, “It’s okay. Go ahead, we’ll wait for you.”
He cast her a dubious look, before sighing heavily and doing as she asked, walking over to Jin Zixuan and then following him when he took him further into Lanling Jin. Wei WuXian scoffed as soon as they were out of earshot, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So, what? Now he wants to do the family thing? How long do you think that’s going to last for?”
She sighed, as if part of her agreed with him, and yet she said, “Better late than never. Every child deserves to have a relationship with their father.”
“Even when that father hasn’t acted like one for most of their lives?”
“…Yes.”
Wei WuXian gritted his teeth against all the retorts he wanted to spit out. They were useless, and his sister didn’t deserve them. She’d heard them all before anyway. Besides, he knew deep down that this was the right thing to do.
“It’s just frustrating to let him step into mine and Jiang Cheng’s role,” he admitted. “Especially when…well.”
“Right.”
The two of them stood there in silence for a minute, Wei WuXian trying to keep himself from exploding, until his sister mercifully distracted him with another topic of conversation that she knew he would enjoy: work. Thankfully, he took the bait, launching into a full-on tale about a new shipment of parts he’d gotten that day and how he couldn’t wait to do this, that or the other thing with them when he got back. He knew his sister didn’t understand a lick of what he was saying, but just as she always had when they were little, she encouraged him to talk, nodding along and asking a question here or there like, “And this is going to make your job easier?” or “Oh that sounds dangerous, please be careful.” It did wonders for putting both of them in a familiar mindset, one where Jiang Yanli was the third parent running around after her mischievous little brothers and trying to keep them from parkouring on the roof or telling them no, they couldn’t rig her Barbie car into a Mad Max hunk of horror and see if they could make the jump across the creek behind their house. The two of them were the reason she was so prepared to raise Jin Ling, who thankfully, while bad-tempered, didn’t give her nearly as many heart attacks as they had.
Wei WuXian was still rambling on when Jin Zixuan re-emerged with Jin Ling, walking him back over to them. Jin Ling returned to his mother’s side, thoroughly ignoring his father, but he didn’t seem as angry as he had before. Jin Zixuan looked at Jiang Yanli when he said, “He’s all set clearance wise. We’ll just figure out when we can start bringing him here. Maybe the start of summer vacation?”
She nodded. “I think that’ll work.”
“Wait, clearance for what?” Wei WuXian asked.
“Lanling Jin,” Jiang Yanli explained. “Jin Ling is going to do an internship over the summer.”
That…actually didn’t sound like a bad idea. At the moment, Jin Ling was free floating in terms of deciding what to do after he graduated. He knew he liked things in the science field, but what exactly, he wasn’t sure. This might actually be good for him to give him ideas. Still, the fact that he was most likely going to follow his father the whole time around left Wei WuXian with a sour taste in his mouth.
Jiang Yanli was of course, civil, nodding levelly and replying, “Thank you for giving him this opportunity.”
Jin Zixuan said nothing, but there was something intense about his gaze, as if he didn’t have the words to express what he wanted to say. So, he just nodded back.
However, before they could leave, Wei WuXian pulled the other man aside, telling Jiang Yanli and Jin Ling to wait in the car and he would be right out. When he had Jin Zixuan alone, Wei WuXian wasted no time in saying, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but whatever it is, if you hurt either of them, if you fuck up whatever chance they’re giving you, you’ll have to answer to me.”
Jin Zixuan narrowed his eyes at him. “I could have you arrested for threatening me, you know.”
Wei WuXian’s mouth twitched irritably, before he said in a sickly-sweet voice, “And before they carted me away, I’d mess up your face so bad you’ll never look the same again. So, you either treat them with the decency they deserve this time around or risk ruining your face forever, your choice.”
Without waiting to see what he’d say, Wei WuXian abruptly left, following his family out the door.
When he got in the car with them, he could hear Jiang Yanli reprimanding Jin Ling, telling him, “Yes, but you find his work interesting. He could offer you a bright, secure future you might not have otherwise.”
It was obvious who they were talking about. Wei WuXian got into the back seat and put his feet up on the arm rest just to piss off Jin Ling, who was forced to move his elbow with an indignant, “Hey!” before he said, “And don’t worry, the whole time you’re there, if you want to, I don’t know, flavor Jin Zixuan’s coffee with hydrochloric acid or whatever you can always come to my lab and”-
“A-Xian.”
“I’m just saying, he has options.”
It wasn’t until a couple nights later that Wei WuXian found himself venting to Lan WangJi about the whole business with Jin Zixuan and Jin Ling. It was after hours, but Wei WuXian was still up working in his lab, showing no signs of getting ready to go home. Lan WangJi meanwhile was perched on the couch, hair damp after being washed in the sink yet again, on his way to bed. However, he always felt a little guilty that Wei WuXian was out here for so long all by himself, so he opted to keep him company in the time he had remaining before he disappeared inside his room for the night.
“I know in the end, it’s for the best,” Wei WuXian said, still bent over something at his work bench, Lan WangJi had no idea what, but it looked important. “But I just worry. Jin Zixuan has already hurt them so much, and I know if my sister is willing to give him a chance, I should too. I mean, Jin Ling knows if he wants to get away from his dad, he can come hide out in here. Just…I don’t even want to give Jin Zixuan that chance, he’s such a fucking disgusting scumbag that isn’t worth the air he breathes.”
He tossed his tools onto his bench, too angry to concentrate, shoving his glasses on top of his head. He slumped in his chair with a sigh, pushing himself away from the bench and spinning around slowly to face Lan WangJi.
“I…am guessing there’s more to this story?” Lan WangJi asked.
“Yeah it’s…” Wei WuXian leaned back, staring at the ceiling, as if it held the answers to what he should say next.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”
“No, it’s fine. Pretty much everyone in Lanling Jin knows, despite the Jin family trying its hardest to keep the whole thing under wraps.” He folded his hands on his lap, and explained, “Jiang Yanli is a few years older than Jiang Cheng and I, so she was the first out of us to go to college. During her first year, she met Jin Zixuan, and everyone was so happy that the heir to the Jin fortune seemed to have found someone he liked. Jie didn’t really care about his money though; you could argue our family had plenty. She just liked him for him, and we thought he liked her for her. But they were young and stupid and…she ended up pregnant. That was when he showed his true colors.”
Wei WuXian narrowed his eyes and shook his head in disgust. “Jiang Yanli was prepared to get married when she found out, but Jin Zixuan wanted her to get rid of the kid. She refused, so he ended up bailing on her. Told her not to come to him for support, because he’d be happy to slander her reputation and make it look like she cheated on him so people would think the kid wasn’t his. And what was she going to do? My parents could have fought on her behalf in court, but in the end the Jin family would have hired some sleazebag lawyer that would feed the jury a bunch of convincing lies. The Jins always win their cases. So, she didn’t even try. She dropped out of college and started working. Safe to say my parents weren’t happy with her decision, as they were very set on her getting her education. They saw it as ruining her life. The Jiangs are very upstanding people who believe in getting a good education, a good reputation, a good job and then a good marriage. They’re uh, not happy that she’s working so many ‘low end’ jobs and that she remained a single mother.
“But she hasn’t been alone. Jiang Cheng and I have been there every step of the way. We helped her take care of Jin Ling when he was a newborn, got up with him when he cried, fed him formula, played with him and watched him while JieJie was at work. When she moved out, we’d visit whenever we could. Jiang Cheng taught him how to ride a bike, I taught him the scientific names of all the major muscle groups in the human body, you know, typical uncle stuff. Yanli had Jiang Cheng give Jin Ling the sex talk because he’s the ‘mature one’ or whatever. But he’s making her teach him how to drive as punishment. But anyway, the point is, we’ve acted more like Jin Ling’s dads than Jin Zixuan ever has, and the thought of him wanting to step into that role now when it’s convenient for him makes me want to castrate him with that thing they use on beef cattle.”
Lan WangJi paused for a moment as he absorbed all this. “No wonder you threaten him so much. Is that why he’s afraid of you?”
Wei WuXian chuckled. “Nah. The reason he and the other Jins watch themselves around me is because just a couple years ago, Jie told me Jin Zixuan wants to formally acknowledge Jin Ling as his. I think he just couldn’t take the pressure from his parents about finding a wife and having an heir, how he wasn’t getting any younger, all that shit. He just wants to get back in their good graces for his own personal gain. When I found out, I got so mad at him I decked him in the face, and both Yanli and Wen Qing had to pull me off him.”
Lan WangJi was quiet for a moment, trying to imagine the scenario, before he said, “I wish I could have seen that.”
“Eh, wasn’t one of my finer moments.”
They fell into a short silence, Wei WuXian spinning around in his chair as he contemplated whether or not he should go back to his work. But his mind was still racing, the well of resentment within him opened up and flooding every crevice with muddy water. He laughed bitterly, and then glanced up at Lan WangJi. “I’m sorry, I know I’m rambling again. It’s getting late, yeah? I’ll let you go to bed.”
“No no, it’s alright,” Lan WangJi assured him. “I always tell you I don’t mind listening to you talk.”
In truth, he was quite enjoying the fact that his doctor wanted to tell him these more personal things. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to hear these parts of Wei WuXian’s early years, to get an idea of what his life was like before he and Lan WangJi had met. He didn’t question the impulse, just went with it, and settled into the couch, waiting.
Wei WuXian eyed him levelly for a moment, determining whether or not Lan WangJi meant what he was saying. But his forehead light was blue, no hints of stress anywhere. So, he figured why not. He was in a ranting mood, and Lan WangJi was a good listener. It wasn’t as if there was any particularly scandalous reason as to why he and his parents didn’t get along.
“Well,” he said, folding his hands in his lap, “the Jiangs aren’t my birth parents. They adopted me. My mom was pretty strict while my dad was more forgiving. I was a trouble maker though, so I don’t blame her for being so strict. Nothing that unusual. Then…well, I figured out I was bi in high school. I was too scared to say anything until I got to college, because I was away from home and more secure in who I was by then. They um, they didn’t take it too well. I guess they had a specific path in mind for my life. But honestly, while that pissed them off, what really made them mad was the career path I chose, being interested in death and how to cheat it. They really wanted me to join the family business, you know, work at their medical practice, inherit it with Jiang Cheng. My ‘morbid interests’ as they put it were too much of a risk to their upstanding family name. I wasn’t going to let them decide what I was going to do with my life though, whether that be what career I chose or who I married, so as soon as I could, I broke ties with them.”
When he glanced up at Lan WangJi, he saw that the other man’s forehead was yellow and flashing very rapidly. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what he could have said that would have made him so happy. Noticing his confused expression, Lan WangJi got ahold of himself, his shoulders rising and falling with a deep breath until eventually, his forehead went blue again.
“That’s very good,” Lan WangJi said approvingly. “From what I see, you did what was right. You love what you do.”
“I do, very much. Wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Wei WuXian frowned. “Jiang Cheng on the other hand…well, it’s not so much that he’s unhappy, but I know he could be happier. Near the end of our undergrad, he figured out he was ace and aro, and I mean, he was nervous enough telling our friend, Nie Huaisang and I, never mind his parents. So, for the longest time, he didn’t. It really wasn’t until his mid-twenties, when they started harping on him about getting married and having kids that one day he finally just exploded and told them that it was never going to happen. They don’t hate him per say, but their relationship is definitely strained. I think they’re just choosing to ignore it and hope one day he’s going to wake up and ‘change his mind’ or some shit. That he’ll find the right girl that’ll make him realize he’s straight, just like they hope one day I’m going pick men or women. It’s just…eh, you can’t fix ignorance. It doesn’t make me as mad as it used to, especially now that I don’t talk to them as much and we all surround ourselves with people who accept us.”
Lan WangJi nodded along the whole time he spoke, and when he was sure that Wei WuXian was done telling his story, he couldn’t help but add, “I know what that’s like. My brother and I went through something similar.”
Wei WuXian paused for a moment, before he pushed himself over in his wheely chair, letting it glide across the smooth floor so that he could a bit closer to him. Lan WangJi glanced at said floor for a moment, as he was trying to find the right words, before he said, “In particular, I’ve been the one to distance myself from my family. I know they meant well, however, for my whole life, they’ve treaded this fine line between sympathy for my condition and anger over it. My uncle was the one who raised us, and I understand why he acted the way he did, to an extent. My father also had RA, and he did his best to ignore medical advice, living how he wanted. For a while, it was fine. He met my mother, had us…but after a few decades, thanks to this very specific lymphoma commonly seen with RA, his health deteriorated until…well, ever since then, my uncle always blamed my father for his death. He always said he was too much in denial and trying too desperately to live a normal life. He wasn’t going to let that happen to his nephew.
“I’ve grown up with both an uncle and a brother who act like parents, not letting me do things I can clearly do myself, or going behind me and doing jobs over again because they don’t think I did a good enough job the first time. Or worse, I’ll ask for help, and one of them would become angry over it, saying, ‘How are you ever going to be able to live on your own if you can’t do something as simple as pulling your hair back in the morning?’ Or, ‘You’re just being lazy, you’re not doing enough to help yourself feel better, I don’t think you even want to feel better.’ It was just…”
Lan WangJi’s LED light was bright green, brief flashes of red appearing as well, and he was beginning to breathe more rapidly. Wei WuXian recognized the signs for what they were, and got up off his chair to go sit next to him on the couch, before he placed a hand on his shoulder. Lan WangJi didn’t shake him off, so Wei WuXian said softly, “I’m sure that lack of understanding pissed you off to high hell. You didn’t need lectures. You needed someone to help when you asked and to leave you alone when you didn’t. I’m sorry you were treated that way. I know it doesn’t mean much but”-
“No, I appreciate it,” Lan WangJi said. His forehead was back to being blue, the stress slowly leaving his body. “It’s nice to hear ‘sorry’ from someone.”
Wei WuXian kept his hand on his shoulder until the other man’s breathing slowed down, only removing it when he appeared calm. However, he remained on the couch, watching Lan WangJi and waiting expectantly for him to continue. After a minute, he did, finishing with, “Soon after I moved out, I adopted Sizhui. Partially out of spite to prove to my family that not only could I take care of myself, but someone else as well, but mostly because he needed me. He was the son of a family friend, and if I didn’t take him in, he would have gone in the foster system. And…I’ve had him ever since.”
He sighed heavily. “Many in my family thought I did a foolish thing by taking him in, that he could have had a better parent, not just because of the RA, but because I’m...well, it doesn’t matter what they think. They’re wrong.”
“Absolutely,” Wei WuXian said firmly, nodding. “Your son is a good kid. And for that matter so are you.”
“I’m a good kid?” Lan WangJi asked, amused.
“Hell yeah you are.” He leaned back against the couch, folding his arms behind his head and sliding his glasses back down on his face. His gaze landed on his work bench again, as well as the digital clock above it. He scrunched his nose in disgust, and then closed his eyes, feigning laziness. “Ugh, I should get back to work. And you’re probably ready to kick me in the head for keeping you up so late. Go on, shoo, shoo. Before the clock strikes twelve and your carriage turns into a pumpkin again.”
Wei WuXian glanced over at him, and was surprised to see Lan WangJi look away from him very quickly. Even more surprising, his forehead was a deep, mortified green, as if Wei WuXian had caught him doing something he shouldn’t have been. Unable to resist, he smirked at the other man and asked teasingly, “Everything okay, Lan WangJi?”
“Fine. Tired,” Lan WangJi answered in a clipped tone, one that made Wei WuXian’s smirk deepen even more. With that, he hauled himself into his wheelchair and, with only a little difficulty, zoomed faster out of the lab faster than Wei WuXian had ever seen someone move in a wheelchair. There was practically a burn trail on the floor left by his tires.
Shaking his head bemusedly, the doctor made his way back to his work bench and plopped back down in his chair. He managed to get back to work, but no matter how much he threw himself into his project, he couldn’t shake the sad yet comforting thought that he and Lan WangJi were more similar than he’d initially thought.
Notes:
For those that were asking for a guide to LWJ's forehead colors, Joshua provided us with this nice list :3 There will be more colors added/explained as the fic goes on, but for now, here you go! Also above we have an older art for this fic that inspired the final scene in this chapter. No WWX, LWJ is not okay, you're awakening kinks in him he didn't ask for xD
Also we have come up a super official term for LWJ's internal excitement over finding out WWX isn't straight and he has a shot with him: Confetti brain xD
Joshua says: "What do we have here? Lots of digging into pasts , development, the introduction of Jin Ling AND some protective brothers moment? Awww yisss! Also Ace and Aro Jiang Cheng is a hill I am gonna die on. The guy is already a walking Ace flag. Also for the people worried, No Xichen wasn't the one making shitty comments. Lan Qiren and a couple of family members were. Xichen was just his usual overprotective self which can become overbearing at times. Anyone who dealt with such a situation will definitely relate. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Lwj had a lot to say in it for once~ "
Lol Aro/Ace Jiang Cheng is also a hill I'll die on, but perhaps it's because this Aro/Ace author is biased xD
Chapter 10: The Animal Song
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan WangJi let out a slow breath, gazed fixed on the path between the handrails. He had walked up and down it dozens of times while squeezing the handrails for dear life, but today he decided was the day he was going to let go. He glanced up for a brief second and saw that Wei WuXian wasn’t watching him, typing on his laptop instead. That was good. In case he messed up, he didn’t want his doctor to see it.
So, before he could talk himself out of it, he let go of the handrails. There was a single moment balanced in time where anything could happen, and then it passed with a sigh. He took his first step, and the world didn’t explode. Another step, and another. He stayed on his feet. He was on his feet without the support of the wall, a person, anything. His legs were finally strong enough, his nerves cooperative enough, to allow him to walk on his own.
“Wei WuXian,” he called tentatively, as if worried that being too loud would cause his legs to give out, or he would jinx his luck.
Wei WuXian turned around in his chair, lips parted on a question, but when he saw what was happening, his jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. Encouraged, Lan WangJi took another few halting, unsure steps, arms held out slightly for balance. Gritting his teeth, he kept going for as long as he could manage, practically holding his breath the whole time. He managed about seven steps before he lost his nerve and had to grab hold of the handrails again. Panting, he chanced looking up, expecting Wei WuXian to be clapping and cheering the way he always seemed to whenever Lan WangJi did something he found impressive.
What he got instead was a blur of red, white and black rushing towards him followed by a pair of arms wrapping around his neck. Lan WangJi was pushed back a couple of steps, and he only had a moment or two to register that Wei WuXian was hugging him before the other man pulled away. However, to Lan WangJi’s shock, there were tears lining his waterline, and yet his smile was as brilliant as ever. He kept his hands on Lan WangJi’s shoulders, exclaiming in a watery voice, “Every time I think I can’t get any prouder of you, you go and prove me wrong. You’ve worked so hard, Lan WangJi, and I know I keep saying you’re incredible, but you are. So very incredible. I’ve never met anyone as amazing as you.”
Lan WangJi blinked in surprise, before averting his gaze to the side, embarrassment shining brightly on his forehead. Wei WuXian had no doubt that if he were able, he’d be blushing. The doctor backed up a few steps, wiping his eyes, before saying in a steadier voice, “I’d say you’ve earned a little reward, yeah? For all your hard work? I figured we could work on the sensitivity in your hands again, as well as your finer motor controls, but this time we’re going to do things a bit differently. Here, sit on the mat over there, and I’ll be right back.”
Wei WuXian waited until his patient did as he asked, Lan WangJi sitting down and scooting over to said mat, before he folded his legs in front of him, staring at them as if he still couldn’t believe he could do such a thing. With one last glance at him, Wei WuXian left the room, his excitement threatening to bubble over.
Lan WangJi sat there patiently, watching the doorway. However, a moment later, his sensitive ears picked up the sound of shuffling next door, and even though they were separated by several layers of concrete, he could hear the sounds as if they were sitting right next to him on the mat. Wei WuXian was talking, or rather cooing at someone, or something, and after that was the sound of metal clinking, a zipper zipping, followed by more shuffling, all sounds that created more questions than answers.
He was still just as confused when Wei WuXian returned holding a cat carrier. He offered him a conspiratorial grin as he placed the carrier in front of Lan WangJi, before opening the zipper. However, his body blocked Lan WangJi’s view of what was inside as he reached in to grab something, leaving him to crane his neck to try and get a glimpse.
When Wei WuXian turned around, Lan WangJi gasped almost imperceptibly. Of course. His doctor knew him too well.
In his arms was a rabbit, but not just any rabbit. This thing was positively enormous, the size of a toddler, easily filling Wei WuXian’s arms. It was a light brown with dozens of fat, fluffy rolls, obviously someone’s spoiled pet. If it stretched out, Lan WangJi had no doubt it would be half the length of Wei WuXian’s entire body. Thankfully, it was as calm as it was large, nose twitching and eyes half closed. In fact if it were any more relaxed, Lan WangJi reckoned it would melt through the floor.
It took everything in Wei WuXian not to burst out laughing at how fast Lan WangJi’s LED turned yellow and how round his eyes became. He was focused on the rabbit with the same intensity as a child would be when they saw something they liked, and it was beyond adorable.
“I figured we could try some zootherapy,” Wei WuXian explained. “I have a coworker who breeds rabbits of all kinds, so I thought we could give you one of these big old squishes first since they’re a little sturdier and more chill. This one here is called Chuntian, he’s a Flemish giant, and according to his owner, he’s a slut for papaya. But we don’t want to give him too much, so along with the papaya I bought some banana and lettuce. Oh, you know what he reminds me of? That big rabbit plush you have on your bed. He’s about the same size, isn’t he?”
Lan WangJi’s eyes grew soft and fond at the mention of his stuffed rabbit. “Sizhui has one as well. The first time I had to leave him, I gave him one and kept the other. I told him if he missed me to hug his rabbit. I would feel his hug, and then hug him back with mine.”
It took everything in Wei WuXian not to start crying again. Instead, he held the rabbit in his arms a little tighter, something it tolerated with a twitch of its ears. He gushed, “That is so cute, I swear, could you possibly get any more wholesome?”
He approached him with the rabbit, kneeling down as smoothly as possible, before sitting back on his feet and looking at the other man expectantly. However, even though the rabbit looked relaxed, he still hesitated, keeping his hands in his lap. Seeing his reluctance, Wei WuXian made a sympathetic sound and said, “Oh Lan WangJi, it’s okay! You won’t hurt him. He’s really sturdy, see?” He gave the rabbit a little squeeze, and remarkably, Chuntian didn’t even flinch; he just closed his eyes even further. Wei WuXian moved a little closer, smiling gently. “You can do this. I have faith in you.”
Like always, those words worked their magic on Lan WangJi, because if Wei WuXian believed in him, he didn’t have much of a choice but to believe in himself, did he? With a shaky sigh, Lan WangJi lifted his arms and held them out, watching as the doctor transferred the rabbit into them. Of course, the rabbit was unsure about the sudden shift, kicking his legs and his eyes going wide. However, years of experience in rabbit holding came back to Lan WangJi all at once, and his arms instantly settled into the proper position, placing on hand under Chuntian’s fluffy butt and one over upper body, holding him against his chest. Once he felt supported again, the rabbit calmed down, ceasing his kicking and twitching his nose happily.
Wei WuXian watched Lan WangJi’s expression with interest. An almost instant change seemed to come over the other man, his gaze becoming affectionate and warm, even a little distant, as he looked down at Chuntian, like he was remembering his own pet rabbits. Automatically, he started stroking the rabbit’s ears back against its head with the hand that was supporting his upper body. And…oh, heaven help him, Lan WangJi’s forehead was glowing pink. Wei WuXian had to resist clutching his chest because it suddenly started to ache with fondness. Just when he thought his patient couldn’t get any sweeter, he had to go and do stuff like this.
“Alright, let me go grab some of his things from the other room,” Wei WuXian said hastily as he got up from the floor. “Looks like he’s going to be here for a while.”
That had been a wise move, because Chuntian ended up spending two hours in the physio room with Lan WangJi. The man became completely desensitized to the texture of his fur, while the rabbit got in plenty of play time. Wei WuXian watched in amusement and took dozens of pictures as Lan WangJi guided the rabbit over and under his legs by holding treats in front of his nose, as well as encouraging him to hop over his arms that he held a couple inches in the air. And Wei WuXian was absolutely there recording them as Lan WangJi trained Chuntian to come when his name was called in as little thirty minutes, first from a foot away, to scooting across the room and watching as the rabbit zoomed over to him while he held slices of papaya as an enticement.
“Your family deserves to see this,” he told Lan WangJi as a reason for why he was taking all the pictures. “You’re practically a Disney princess with the way this rabbit is following you around.”
Lan WangJi just shrugged. “Animals have always liked me.”
Of course, Wei WuXian thought, trying not to laugh.
A little while later, when Chuntian began to grow tired, they put him back in his cage, and Wei WuXian said, “I’m going to put him in the other room again where it’s nice and quiet so he can sleep. After that, I need to go to one of the front offices and do some fast paperwork, then I’ll be right back in here. Keep working on some exercises you can do sitting down, or if you have the energy, you can get back up and try the handrails again.”
Lan WangJi nodded a reply, and with that, Wei WuXian was out of the physio room. He put Chuntian back in his quiet room, before power walking down to the offices, red ribbon fluttering out behind him and air rushing past his ears. He would have to move quickly anyway; it was almost lunchtime, and soon someone would be around to kick him out the door to go and take his break. Most likely Wen Qing. Most definitely Wen Qing.
And speak of the devil, a few minutes after he slid into one of the offices near the front of Lanling Jin and sat at one of the computers, she joined him. There was a counter separating them from the front foyer, but if one stood up, like Wen Qing was currently doing, they could see everyone who came and went through the front glass doors.
Just as he was about to ask what she was doing there, who’s head should appear above the counter but Luo Qingyang’s, Wen Qing’s girlfriend since their undergrad days. She was fashionable as always, with large gold hoops, a pixie cut only she could ever pull off, and a light coat that Wei WuXian would bet cost more than a month’s worth of his rent. She appeared to be holding something under her coat with one arm, while the other held a tiny bouquet of poppies. Wen Qing brightened up the moment she saw her of course, breaking into a smile that Wei WuXian rarely saw.
“Brought lunch so we could have it outside,” Luo Qingyang told her. “Made it myself this time. Want me to pop the trunk of my car and we can sit in it together?”
From his computer, Wei WuXian made a strange, half groan, half sobbing noise, loud enough so that they couldn’t ignore him. Yet, they tried to anyway, Wen Qing replying loudly, “That sounds heavenly, yes please.”
Luo Qingyang smiled, and held up the poppies for her. “Brought these for you too.”
Wen Qing was immediately suspicious, looking between her and the poppies, asking, “Oh God what did you do?”
The other woman waved her hands in front her and exclaimed, “Nothing, I swear! I just saw them and thought of you, honest. They’re your favorite color, so I couldn’t resist.”
Wei WuXian’s sad, whiny groans grew in volume. Wen Qing placed a hand on her chest, feeling it warm at the sweet gesture, and then her heart beat twice as fast when Luo Qingyang took one of the poppies and tucked it in her partner’s hair. Once it was secure, her smile only widened, and she said fondly, “There’s my pretty summer blossom.”
Wen Qing was sure she was going to explode into a pile of rainbows. It was insane; they had been dating for so long, and her girlfriend could still turn her into a puddle of mush so easily with just a few sweet gestures and words. She started to lean in so that she could kiss her in thanks, but they were once again interrupted by Wei WuXian, who was still dramatically blubbering in front of his computer.
Luo Qingyang sighed, and Wen Qing leaned away reluctantly, the former asking, “Yes, Wei WuXian?”
Wen Qing rolled her eyes. “Ignore him. He’s just being a big baby, whining over the fact that he doesn’t have someone to bring him homemade lunch or buy him flowers.”
Wei WuXian let out another exaggerated groan and leaned back in his seat, tipping his head back so that he was staring at the ceiling. “Exactly, so you should feel bad for me. No one loves me. I’ll die alone and forgotten. Alone, I tell you.”
Luo Qingyang shook her head, sharing an exasperated look with Wen Qing that read, Damn, and you work with this all day, before saying, “If I say I brought someone to visit you, will that help with your loneliness?”
She started to open her coat, and Wei WuXian sniffed, grumbling, “Depends. You hiding one of your desperate, single friends in there?”
Snorting, Luo Qingyang pulled her coat all the way back to reveal a ferret, wearing a harness and leash, asleep on its back in her arm. Wei WuXian gasped, instantly forgetting about his own misery. He got up from the computer, and came around the counter, cooing, “Pidan! My evil little gremlin.” He reached out his arms, making grabby hands at the ferret. “Give me my child, pleeeease, I must love her.”
Luo Qingyang transferred the limp ferret over into his arms, the little creature opening her eyes for a second or two to see what was going on before closing them again. The two women looked on in amusement as Wei WuXian began bouncing the ferret like one might a baby, scratching her tummy and babbling all sorts of nonsense baby talk at her.
“Your paws are illegally and stupidly cute,” he gushed. “And look at these evil teeth that like to steal my socks off my feet when I visit. That’s right, you need this mask to hide all that evil, yes you do.” His head shot up, having had a sudden epiphany, and he gasped, “I know someone else who would love to meet you! Come with me, and tell your moms we’ll have you back before they leave.”
He started to walk down the hall with her, Wen Qing calling after him, “You better or I’ll gut you, Wei WuXian!”
He paid her no mind, trotting down to the physio room, stroking the ferret as he went. When he popped back in to the physio room, Lan WangJi still practicing on the handrails, just finishing up as the other man walked through the door. He sat himself back down in his wheelchair, which was waiting right by the end of the handrails, to rest. When he saw Wei WuXian, he turned around to face him, then wrinkled his nose.
“What is that smell?” he wanted to know. Wei WuXian smirked, showing him the creature in his arms.
“Ferret,” he explained.
Lan WangJi responded with a look that begged the question, Where did you manage to procure a ferret in the span of twenty minutes?
But soon, after watching Wei WuXian cuddle with this ferret and fuss over its whiskers and pink nose, Lan WangJi found that he didn’t care about such details. The other man’s face was unbearably fond, and though his baby talk should have annoyed Lan WangJi, for some reason he found it unbelievably cute.
Things only became worse when that fond expression was cast on Lan WangJi after Wei WuXian gave him the ferret to play with, his doctor cooing, “Oh you two are so adorable! Let me get my phone, this is too precious.”
They had a great time for the hour they were allowed to have Pidan, but that only lasted until they managed to lose her. It had been a complete accident of course, Wei WuXian only letting go of her leash and turning his back for a second before the slippery, furry snake-cat zoomed off to make trouble. The resulting search involved a lot of hushed, frantic whispers, Wei WuXian nearly pulling his hair out, Lan WangJi rolling all over the place in his wheelchair while looking down to make sure he didn’t run over the ferret, and throwing himself out of said wheelchair while trying to grab her when she appeared for a second and ran in front of him.
They ended up finding her passed out in a rolled-up mat, and even retrieving her from that had been difficult. Wei WuXian had grabbed hold of the ferret, only to find that he’d gotten stuck, so it was up to Lan WangJi to pull him out. Thanks to the awkward position, he’d had no choice but to get on his knees right up behind Wei WuXian, grip him around his waist, and pull.
However, since he still wasn’t up to full strength, it took quite a few tugs, both of them grunting with the effort, Wei WuXian even directing with his voice muffled by the mat, “Pull harder, Lan WangJi! No, do it harder than that, come on you won’t hurt me. Harder!”
Needless to say, anyone who passed by the physio room and happened to peek in had to do a double take to make sure they were seeing what they were really seeing.
And when he was finally pulled free, Wei WuXian of course revealed none of this to Luo Qingyang or Wen Qing upon returning the ferret to them. He liked his organs right where they were, thank you.
It couldn’t have been more than a few days after that fiasco that Wei WuXian came upon Lan WangJi in his lab, the other man seated in front of one of Wei WuXian’s work tables, arms folded in front of him while he laid his chin on them. However, what really got Wei WuXian’s attention was the fact that his forehead light was aqua, and that his eyes were downcast. He didn’t even seem to notice his doctor’s presence.
Concerned, Wei WuXian made his way over to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Lan WangJi met his eyes, sitting up and taking his elbows off the table, the aqua fading to neutral blue almost immediately. He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just being…ridiculous.”
“Aw, I’m sure you’re not,” Wei WuXian insisted. He bent over so he was closer to Lan WangJi’s level. “Now come on, tell me what the matter is.”
After a moment, Lan WangJi finally mumbled, “…My ears used to be pierced.”
Wei WuXian blinked for a moment in surprise, before he broke out in a grin. “Oh Lan WangJi, is that all? You had me worried! That one’s an easy fix. Here, hold on a sec.”
He trotted off to his office, then shuffled around his work bench for a second, humming to himself as he searched for something. When he found what he was looking for, he walked back over to Lan WangJi, smile still in place. He was holding a needle in one hand and a sharpie in the other, and when he returned to his patient’s side, he said, “Now, I’m no piercer, but the good news is, your ears are made of silicon, so there’s no risk of infection, and we don’t have to worry about them healing. One stab and you should be good to go.”
Immediately, Lan WangJi replied, “You don’t have to…”
But Wei WuXian wouldn’t hear it. He grabbed a mirror as well, placing it in front of Lan WangJi on the table and saying, “Nonsense! You’ve hardly asked for anything the whole time you’ve been here. Besides, compared to transplanting your brain, this will be super easy. Really, it’s no trouble.”
Lan WangJi still felt guilty. It was such a simple, stupid thing to be sad over. As if he could read his mind, Wei WuXian assured him as he began placing the dots on Lan WangJi’s ears with the sharpie, “I understand how you feel. I have my ears pierced too. Earrings are so fun, and it’s nice to have that option to be able to wear them. They can make you feel pretty even if you don’t feel that way. And getting compliments on them can make your day. If they brought you happiness and made you feel more confident before, then having that taken away would of course make you sad. So maybe it’s not as small a matter as it seems.”
After a couple pokes with the needle, Lan WangJi stared at himself in the mirror. There weren’t even any earrings in his ears, and yet he couldn’t stop marveling at the tiny holes. It was as if a piece of his old life had returned to him. He felt more…normal.
Just as Wei WuXian was finishing putting away his things, he heard someone come into his lab without even knocking. Expecting it to be either Jin Zixuan or Jin Zixun back to rile him up, his hackles rose and he rounded on the approaching person. However, to his immense shock, it wasn’t either of the Jins. It was Nie Huaisang, sauntering in like he owned the place.
Wei WuXian was so shocked he burst out, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too, doll,” Nie Huaisang said dryly. “Here I thought ‘I should visit one of my dearest friends in the world during my break, he’ll be so happy to see me’ and that’s the greeting I get? Honestly.” He shook his head, though it was clear he was teasing. “They hired me to replace the pharmacist that got caught stealing oxycodone, remember that whole business?”
Wei WuXian strained to remember; he hardly paid attention to things that didn’t concern his department. But he seemed to recall the latest scandal in the pharmacy wing of Lanling Jin. He grinned, relaxing at last, and said, “Well finally, someone I can work with that actually likes me.”
Nie Huaisang was about to reply with something snarky, before his gaze drifted behind his friend and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Without even thinking, he slapped a hand over his heart and wheezed, “Holy shit who is your friend?”
The doctor glanced behind him reflexively. Lan WangJi’s eyebrows were raised as he looked between the two of them, clearly trying to figure out what was going on. But Wei WuXian was no fool. He knew that tone of Nie Huaisang’s very well. It was usually one he heard before he handed his drink to either him or Jiang Cheng when they went to the bar and went off to dance with whatever poor sucker he found attractive thanks to the low light and all the Fireballs. He narrowed his eyes and said firmly, “Someone with standards, so not your type. You should know who he is anyway. Didn’t they mention him and Wen Ning in the briefing when they hired you?”
Nie Huaisang still looked confused, so Wei WuXian spelled it out further for him. “Lan WangJi? You know, brother of the guy dating your brother?”
Immediately, Nie Huaisang yelped, “What the fuck?” at the same time Lan WangJi went, “Wait what?”
Ah, of course. He didn’t know yet. Wei WuXian smirked and leaned back against the table, crossing his arms as he drawled, “Yeah, he’s not single anymore thanks to my godlike invention.”
Nie Huaisang nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Mingjue told me Lan XiChen looked a lot like his brother…so Lan XiChen is this hot, huh?”
Glancing back at Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian saw that he looked very amused by the whole exchange. Still, he felt the need to say, “Sorry this is Nie Huaisang, former college roommate of mine. He was born with a penis in place of his brain, don’t pay any attention to him.”
His patient huffed a laugh and nodded in acknowledgement at the other man. No matter who they were, Lan WangJi was always happy to meet the people that were important to Wei WuXian.
Wei WuXian looked Lan WangJi up and down, noticing that all he had on as he usually did anymore was a sad pair of sweatpants that looked like they had seen better days, and suddenly he was struck with an idea. He turned back to Nie Huaisang and said, “That reminds me. You like blowing your money on clothes for beautiful men that are never going to fall in love with you yeah?”
Nie Huaisang declared, “It’s why I struggle to stay alive.”
“Then after work we’re going shopping for a new wardrobe for Lan WangJi.”
Of course, Lan WangJi had tried over and over again to tell them they didn’t have to go through all that trouble, that he could always ask his brother to pick some things up for him. Or that he could at least pay them back. But Wei WuXian had simply waved him off and said, “Please, Nie Huaisang makes more money than a doctor and at the moment he has no one to spend it on. Fashion is his biggest hobby. Honestly, you’re doing him a favor rather than the other way around.”
When they arrived at the mall, it was like unleashing a tornado in the department store they decided to visit. All Wei WuXian had to do was follow behind and watch as Nie Huaisang went wild, flitting from rack to rack, pulling clothes aside and tossing the ones he liked into Wei WuXian’s arms. He was like a hummingbird and the racks were his flowers; he sucked one dry before moving on to the next one, moving with just as much speed and energy.
Wei WuXian made the mistake of glancing at the price tags of some of the items, which prompted him to ask hesitantly, “Uh, you sure he needs name brand everything? I mean, some of the store brand stuff is just as nice.”
Nie Huaisang gasped in horror, freezing mid-step on his way to yet another rack and staring at his friend like he betrayed him in the worst way. “Wei WuXian, do you even hear yourself? That man back in your lab deserves only the finest and that’s what he’s going to get.”
“Huaisang, he does not need name brand socks for fuck’s sake.”
“Uh, my minor in Fashion and Design and common sense says he does. Now shut up and let me hold this up next to you so I can make sure it’s going to be long enough for him.”
Wei WuXian sighed and did as he was told, allowing himself to be a combination model and pack mule for his excited friend. Besides, what did he know about fashion? Wei WuXian had been wearing the same variant of red shirt for the past ten years. Besides, when he ignored the price tags and actually looked at the clothes Nie Huaisang was picking out, he had to admit, as always, the man had good taste. He was adhering to the pointers Wei WuXian had given him based on what Lan WangJi said he liked to wear. There were lots of white, blue, cream and grey sweaters, and a pair of well-tailored pants to go with each. There was casual wear that looked and felt terribly soft, and everything in between, things Wei WuXian wouldn’t have even thought of. He couldn’t see any reason why Lan WangJi wouldn’t be happy with what they brought home.
As he stood there, growing more and more bored by the minute, his attention wandered until he caught sight of something shiny. It turned out to be the jewelry counter, and when he focused more, he could see all sorts of silver earrings, necklaces and rings inside the glass. Even from here, without reading the price tags, he could tell they cost a pretty penny. Still, it was free to look, so he wandered over to the case, leaning over it to peer inside.
Almost instantly, Wei WuXian caught sight of a pair of earrings that would go with several of the outfits they picked out and…well, Lan WangJi had just gotten his ears pierced. That was practically a tradition, wasn’t it? To buy oneself a pair of earrings after getting them pierced? Besides, at the moment he didn’t have any of his own back at the lab. It definitely couldn’t hurt.
The person behind the counter noticed him looking, and when their eyes met, Wei WuXian nodded down at the earrings and said, “I’ll take those please.”
While he was being rung up, Nie Huaisang happened to come over, looking for his pack mule that had inexplicably wandered off. When Wei WuXian saw that he was beside him, he placed all the clothes in his arms, causing Nie Huaisang to stumble under the weight, before he pulled his wallet out of his pocket.
“Who are the earrings for?” Nie Huaisang asked.
“Lan WangJi,” Wei WuXian answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “He said he misses having them.”
His friend eyed him critically, searching for something more in his face, but Wei WuXian wasn’t sure what. He met his stare, genuinely confused, even asking, “What?”
“Well,” Nie Huaisang began. “It’s just…you don’t usually…”
“I don’t usually what?”
Eventually, when he realized that his friend was genuinely as clueless as he sounded, he just shook his head and said, “Nothing. Get your earrings and then come back because we’re not done yet.”
Wei WuXian shrugged, still completely oblivious, and turned back to the jewelry counter, leaving Nie Huaisang to sigh in exasperation behind his back. Because what he had wanted to say to his innocent, idiotic former roommate was, “In my experience you don’t usually get jewelry for someone unless you are dating them or want to date them.”
When they returned to Lanling Jin, Wei WuXian dropped all these bags of clothes at a stunned Lan WangJi’s feet, before he dug around in one of the bags excitedly and said, “Here, you have to open this first!”
Lan WangJi stared at the little box, his lips parted in awe, as if it was a sacred treasure Wei WuXian had brought him and he didn’t find himself worthy of touching it. He took it very gently, afraid he might accidently break it, and carefully opened the box, gasping when he saw what was inside. He lifted one of the earrings out, holding it up towards the light. It was long and silver with little sapphires lining the tassel, attached to a cuff and chain. Lan WangJi’s expression was positively enamored, the silver reflecting in his eyes. He then turned that expression onto Wei WuXian, lips still parted as if he wanted to say something but was having trouble grasping for the proper words.
Beyond pleased with his reaction, Wei WuXian bounced on the balls of his feet, exclaiming, “They’re to congratulate you on having your ears pierced again! And the fact that you’re walking, and doing so well now.”
Lan WangJi drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly, placing the earring back inside of the box. His forehead flashed, yellow, deep green, and finally rosy pink, before he whispered “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
Wei WuXian blinked in confusion at the appearance of the pink light, faltering only for a minute, before his grin was back in place, and he was saying, “That’s what I thought when I saw them too! Figured they would go great with all the clothes we got you. Here, show him.”
While Nie Huaisang dug through their bags, Wei WuXian made a mental note to schedule a date to have Lan WangJi’s forehead light looked at, because there was no way he could with confidence discharge his patient at some point if it was malfunctioning so much.
Notes:
Chapter title is from yet another Savage Garden song lol Joshua said when it doubt, Savage Garden is the answer for this fic xD. But as a side note, I had waaaaay too much fun writing this chapter between writing all the cute critters (WWX is essentially me around ferrets) and writing NHS, he's a blast. But god please give that art a like/reblog/retweet that Joshua did for this chapter, it's too pure for our sinful eyes, look at that giant, squishy bun <3333 I'm not too much of a rabbit enthusiast myself, but I'm absolutely in love with Flemish giants, they're so adorably large that I can't deal, and therefore couldn't resist the idea of LWJ playing with one <3 As a side note, the ferret was inspired by a coworker I had once who would bring her ferret into work on her days off, and those were the highlights of my day lol
Joshua says: "A light chapter filled with good positive vibes as a counter to everything else going on in the world * clear throat* We received many absolutely wonderful artwork for borgji AU and I want to thank every single person who drew something, you made both of our day in doing this AND filled us with motivation to keep going! It was so incredibly adorable and heartwarming to look at each and every one of them. For my part, I will print them and stick them to my fridge, or possibly in a frame, you can be sure of that!"
We received lots of wonderful fanart for this fic indeed from the following amazing artists!
Ceru: https://twitter.com/Ceru_Draws/status/1380320757973016577?s=20&fbclid=IwAR3qh8fM9f4PPss5p3611xbn1L8oge5blJMxdxJYvPqHQB1NWKNEgTUXTfo
Atthis: https://twitter.com/atthis_pictus/status/1381274157447532546?s=20&fbclid=IwAR2vIRwlmwS2ld_3CRtmCqQSVQoO8T5ublriKatLyumOag6UaKOlzIcS344
al: https://twitter.com/_yibog4y/status/1380856886979887105?s=20&fbclid=IwAR2VtIcStnhBtV0Ne8w5pHWzqj_fAOhAkri4q90bPMIag7maqfkg3tsOsz4
xinbian: https://twitter.com/xinbian/status/1380912570006188043?s=20&fbclid=IwAR22I7zptE1rflfRWx49HQ5BCOBH1qxwW_OPHL-SYFcwluB9E8t9U5nw1uQ
https://twitter.com/xinbian/status/1381336482410008576?s=20&fbclid=IwAR3zyzTSSQIjaLcZbs0-987m8RxHrMAK4rUMb4JacGWBi8gDpXYnE4Uq568
Rika: https://twitter.com/Arthemisi/status/1380644730053230594?s=20&fbclid=IwAR22I7zptE1rflfRWx49HQ5BCOBH1qxwW_OPHL-SYFcwluB9E8t9U5nw1uQ
ChiliLaozu: https://twitter.com/ChiliLaozu/status/1380530502671740935?s=20&fbclid=IwAR2o00Moav-gx2_Lw4fT2UzRUDslitAcbAcUJJPUZa0qKXedHW16frjZ09Q
piyo13sdoodles: https://piyo13sdoodles.tumblr.com/post/648047334174998528/borgji-and-mad-scientist-wwx-from-the-amazing
megsdoods: https://megsdoods.tumblr.com/post/648044716442648576/dr-wei-at-your-service-inspired-by
I'll tease you all a bit and hint that one of these arts contains an upcoming scene in a future chapter ehehehe :3
Chapter 11: Monsters In Your Head
Notes:
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one-way street
With the monsters in your head - Crash and Burn, Savage Garden
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
As the seasons changed, so did more things at Lanling Jin. Nie Huaisang was just in the first wave of new hires. Many more followed as the Jins tried to pull fresh talent into their rapidly expanding business, from full time workers, to part time, to temporary hires, to visiting rising stars that were trying to establish business partnerships with them.
It was during one of these waves of new hires that Wei WuXian encountered his worst nightmare.
He was just innocently turning into a hallway when he caught sight of a very familiar silhouette at the other end. Both of them stopped dead, obviously having the same thought at the same time, and for a minute Wei WuXian thought he was in an alternate universe, except no, this was reality, Jiang Cheng was there, lab coat, Lanling Jin I.D and everything. There really was a higher power that hated Wei WuXian this much, one that thought it’d be hilarious to stick him in the same working environment as his pain in the ass brother and watch the two of them get on each other’s nerves.
The two of them stared blankly at the other for a moment or two, before Jiang Cheng started dipping in and out of empty lab rooms, gradually getting closer. Wei WuXian folded his arms, regarding him with detached interest.
“What are you doing?” he finally asked.
Jiang Cheng leaned into another lab, so his voice echoed when he answered, “Looking for a trash can to stuff you in, but I can’t find one big enough to fit your ego.”
Wei WuXian shrugged, before finding a large, metal chute a couple feet away and tapping on it with his palm to get his attention. “You could try looking in here.”
When Jiang Cheng saw where he was pointing, he frowned. Right under Wei WuXian’s hand was a big, yellow label that read, WARNING: INCINERATOR.
It turned out Jiang Cheng was going to be at Lanling Jin for a couple years, at least or until further notice. He explained as they walked back the way Wei WuXian had just come from, “I’m learning about the technology you guys have here, practicing with it, and making connections so I can start getting these functioning, artificial eyes into dad’s practice. Then, hopefully by the time he retires and I take over, we can work on marketing these eyes to other practices locally and globally.”
Wei WuXian sulkily shoved his hands in his coat pockets and grumbled, “And you didn’t tell me this why?”
His brother sniffed, “Well shit, sorry mom, didn’t realize I had to. Figured I’d see you when I saw you, or if I was lucky, not at all.”
Wei WuXian stuck his tongue out at him and nudged him hard with his shoulder. Jiang Cheng shoved back even harder. Wei WuXian just laughed as he nearly crashed into the wall, and said, “Well unfortunately you didn’t get your wish. You’re going to be stuck looking at my handsome face lots, considering I helped design the artificial eyes. But hey, if you’re going to be here a while, there’s something you should know…”
They made their way down to the pharmaceutical lab, and Wei WuXian held the door open for Jiang Cheng to step inside. His brother cast him a confused look, but he still walked in, keeping a sharp eye out for anything that might fall on his head or jump out at him; living with Wei WuXian for all his life had taught him that any time the other man wanted Jiang Cheng to follow him anywhere, there was a prank waiting for him.
Perhaps he would have preferred a prank to what he actually found.
Because flitting around the lab was his roommate, and in the process of trotting into the back room, he happened to catch sight of them. Wei WuXian was smiling smugly and Jiang Cheng’s mouth dropped open in horrified shock, before the latter took his own goggles off his head, threw them on the ground and walked calmly back out of the lab.
However, a moment later, Nie Huaisang heard an anguished scream, Jiang Cheng yelling, “WHY!? DON’T I GET ENOUGH OF YOU FUCKHEADS DURING THE EVENINGS?? WHAT GOD DID I OFFEND IN A PAST LIFE!?”
Wei WuXian snorted, told Nie Huaisang, “See you at lunch,” and then ran out into the hallway after him.
As they walked, he slung an arm around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders and assured him, “There there. Chances are you won’t see him nearly as much as you’ll see me.”
“Joy,” Jiang Cheng grumbled.
“Isn’t it? You’re so lucky. Now here, we still have a few hours until lunch, so if you don’t have anywhere to be, why don’t you come down to my lab with me and I can start you off by showing you some of my research and designs?”
Reluctantly, Jiang Cheng followed him, not that he needed to; he knew his way to Wei WuXian’s lab better than he knew the way to his own, thanks to the number of times he’d come in here before. Still, before he hadn’t had the clearance to view his work, something he’d always secretly wanted to do, so as much as he acted like he wasn’t excited, inside, there was part of him that was bursting at the seams.
When they arrived inside the lab, Jiang Cheng didn’t need to be told to make himself at home. He didn’t even need to be told where Wei WuXian’s office was. He just found a spare chair and plopped down beside the desk, watching Wei WuXian scramble through his own mess of piles of file folders and loose papers. Jiang Cheng snorted.
“What?” Wei WuXian asked, not even looking at him.
“This place looks exactly like your room when we were kids,” his brother said. “A total shithole.”
Wei WuXian laughed. “Oh God, and the mess in my room used to drive mom wild, didn’t it? ‘Wei WuXian, if I open this door and it bangs against your piles of books one more time, I’m making you pay for the damage to the wood!”
“If she ever came in here, she’d have a full-on meltdown.”
Wei WuXian shuddered at the thought. Thankfully, it was soon after that he found the file he was looking for, naturally at the bottom of one of his towering stacks, and when he pulled it out the entire thing almost spilled all over the floor. He saved it at the last minute, before triumphantly making his way back around the desk and plopping it in front of Jiang Cheng.
Once he sat down next to him, they spent the next hour or so poring over Wei WuXian’s research, spreading the notes out across the desk. Jiang Cheng hastily made notes of his own about Wei WuXian’s process, all the while asking for copies of this or that file, while begrudgingly admitting to himself that his scatterbrained brother was a genius. There was plenty of good stuff here to get Jiang Cheng started.
Wei WuXian explained, “Oh yeah the great part about Lanling Jin is it’ll give you access to technology that the rest of the world doesn’t have, and if they like you and you do good work, present good enough results, they’ll give you the patent and you release this stuff into the public eye.” He stopped, chuckling to himself, before elbowing his brother. “Heh, see what I did there? Get it Jiang Cheng? Do you get? Public eye?”
Jiang Cheng said, “Wei WuXian I will slap you out of your chair.”
Just then, he swore he saw something move at the edge of his vision. But as far as he knew, not too many people liked to come in here and bother Wei WuXian, mostly because he tended to ignore them when they talked to him. Thinking he was just imagining things, Jiang Cheng glanced up towards the doorway, only to do a double take when he did in fact see someone standing there. However, this person’s forehead was glowing, and what he could see of his forearms and neck was entirely metal. Without a sound, Jiang Cheng threw himself out of his chair, landing with a crash on the floor.
Wei WuXian raised an eyebrow at him, before looking up at the doorway to see what had frightened him so. Jiang Cheng watched as he smiled hugely, his whole body perking up as he exclaimed, “Lan WangJi! Ah, look at you, you walked all the way here! I’m so proud of you!”
Lan WangJi was dressed in some of the new clothes Nie Huaisang had bought for him, something comfortable but also nice looking. He also had the new earrings Wei WuXian bought in his ears, the tassels and chains shining in the fluorescent lights. He preened under Wei WuXian’s praise, his forehead switching from blue to yellow, before he glared down at Jiang Cheng suspiciously.
“I heard a strange voice,” he said.
Wei WuXian glanced at Jiang Cheng and then looked back at Lan WangJi, breaking out into laughter. “Oh! Oh, don’t worry, this is Jiang Cheng! Remember, I told you about him? Jiang Cheng, this is Lan WangJi. He has the eyes in his head we were just studying.”
Jiang Cheng, even though his legs still felt unsteady thanks to the scare, managed to haul himself back up into his chair, looking between Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi, confused and wary all at once. So, Wei WuXian explained a little more, “Remember when I said I had a project a few months ago that I was stressing over? That’s him.”
Jiang Cheng glanced over at Lan WangJi one last time and noticed that he wasn’t glaring at him anymore. He let loose a sigh of relief; he could only imagine what that man in the doorway would have done to him if he wasn’t someone Wei WuXian knew. He didn’t look like someone to be trifled with. Still in shock, he waved both of them off, muttering, “Sure. Of course he is.”
Wei WuXian snorted, and said, “You better get used to it. Lan WangJi is far from the oddest thing you’ll see at Lanling Jin.”
He went on to summarize what exactly Lan WangJi was, as well as mention that he wasn’t even the only one of his kind. Jiang Cheng listened with a sort of dazed attention, all of the information surprising, amazing, overwhelming, and exactly the kind of thing he expected his brother to be doing in a facility where he had access to all sorts of advanced technology that no one else did yet. He sighed heavily.
“Look,” he said, patting the area of the desk next to where Wei WuXian’s hand lay. “I’m proud of you. Really, what you’ve done is incredible. Just…be careful how far you go in this stuff, yeah? Others might not see it in the same light you do. They might think you’re playing God, and when word of this eventually gets out, the repercussions could be…”
From the doorway, he saw Lan WangJi’s eyes narrow and the man said firmly, “I won’t let anyone hurt Wei WuXian.”
Wei WuXian looked over at him, smiling, before he said to Jiang Cheng, “See? I’m in good hands.”
Once again, Jiang Cheng found himself looking warily over at Lan WangJi. His eyes were focused on Wei WuXian in a way that he could only describe as intense. Not in a bad way just…in a way that made Jiang Cheng feel like he was seeing something he shouldn’t. The look was protective, unwavering, and yet immensely fond. There was feeling behind it, feeling Jiang Cheng decided he wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with, nor did he care to find out. Naturally, Wei WuXian didn’t seem to notice at all, and Jiang Cheng had better things to do than make him aware of it.
The end of that same day, Lan Sizhui came to visit Lanling Jin, finding his dad sitting on the couch in Wei WuXian’s lab, reading a book. At first, he wasn’t sure if he should come in, even though Wei WuXian had given him very enthusiastic permission to enter his lab whenever he wanted whether he was there or not. In fact, he had said, “You can’t leave it any messier than I do!” However, a quick look around revealed that Wei WuXian was in fact there, just at the other end of his lab, doing who knew what. From the sound of it, something that involved a lot of banging metal against metal and cussing out the mothers of the parts he was working with. Either way, Lan Sizhui decided it would be wiser not to disturb him and go straight over to Lan WangJi.
Something the boy noticed that shouldn’t have made him as happy as it did was that Lan WangJi was back to sitting in his old perfect posture that he had constantly drilled into Lan Sizhui for as long as he could remember. It was to the point that even when his dad wasn’t around, he’d still hear him saying, “Sit properly,” in his head. Because of the surgery, he’d been forced to sit in ways that would cause the least amount of pain, or only ways that his new body would allow. However, now it appeared he’d gained enough control to fall back into that natural position. Pieces of his old life were returning a little at a time.
Upon seeing him, Lan WangJi put his book down, and his forehead lit up yellow. Automatically, the two of them embraced, before Lan Sizhui took his place on the couch next to him. Almost immediately, there was a crash followed by Wei WuXian growling, “You are the caviar of shitpiles that aged in a cave for ten years, fucking go where I put you and stay there.”
“Wei-Yisheng seems like he’s having fun,” Lan Sizhui observed.
Lan WangJi shook his head in exasperation. “He’s been at it for two hours.”
“Have you tried telling him to take a break?”
“Yes. He ignored me.”
Well, if he ignored Lan WangJi, then Lan Sizhui knew things were serious. Deciding not to dwell on the matter further, he turned to his dad and said, “Well, um, I have good news. I got accepted into Yunmeng Tech!”
Lan WangJi’s eyes widened, and the yellow light on his forehead burned even brighter, before he was pulling Lan Sizhui into another hug, one that practically knocked the breath out of the boy. Lan Sizhui’s eyes were wide over his dad’s shoulder, and his chest tightened when he heard Lan WangJi say, “I’m so proud of you.”
“He what!?” they heard across the lab, and a second later, Wei WuXian had thrown down what he was working on and zipped over to where they were sitting. They jumped apart in surprise, and this time it was Wei WuXian who pulled the boy into a bone crushing hug, practically squealing in joy, “Congratulations! I knew you could do it! Never had any doubts! Ahhh, we have to celebrate, don’t you think, Lan WangJi?”
Immediately, Lan WangJi nodded once. “Mn.”
“Ahhhh no we don’t have to do anything!” Lan Sizhui said, waving his hands in front of him, face turning red. “I mean it’s not- people get into college all the time, it’s nothing special.”
Lan WangJi frowned. “You worked hard to get in.”
“Absolutely!” Wei WuXian agreed, slapping a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “So we’re celebrating! We should cook something special, don’t you think?”
He looked over at Lan WangJi, smiling brilliantly, and Lan WangJi nodded once again. “Besides,” Wei WuXian added, “that’s not true, not everyone gets into college, especially not a place like Yunmeng Tech.”
The boy rubbed the back of his head, looking down at the floor, clearly trying to hide a pleased smile and failing. “I chose it because you went there, Wei-Yisheng. If that place can produce someone like you…I just hope I can measure up someday.”
Wei WuXian felt his throat tighten and almost immediately, tears sprang to his eyes. He covered his mouth with one hand, as if afraid he might start sobbing. Thankfully, he didn’t. Instead, he said in a watery voice, “Lan WangJi, cook this boy the best goddamn dinner he’s ever had in his life.”
Lan WangJi’s huffed a breath that might have been a laugh, and he said, “If you’d like to go shopping for us, I’d love to.”
Wei WuXian certainly wasted no time in running out to the store, grabbing everything Lan WangJi asked for, and zipping back at the speed of light. It was as if the frustration and the stress from the day simply melted away, a strange high taking hold of him. It was the same high he got whenever he got to see his friends after a long absence, or something good happened at work. He felt giddy, hardly able to contain himself when he plopped everything on the table in front of Lan WangJi, all proud that he was able to help him.
Even more so when Lan WangJi looked up and him and asked, “Would you like to help me make it?”
Wei WuXian hesitated. “Um, I’m not that great a cook. My family won’t let me anywhere near the kitchen. I’ve set the bottom of a pan on fire before, I’m that bad.”
The other man shrugged. “I won’t let that happen.”
And just that simple request made Wei WuXian’s excitement increase tenfold. Soon, he was down in one of the bigger breakrooms with his patient, acting as the legs when Lan WangJi became too tired and stiff to stand up. He carried ingredients around, handing things to the other man when he needed them, and putting things in the oven when he was told. Lan WangJi was very patient with him, of course, kindly directing him in what he needed to do, letting him stir things in mixing bowls and telling him exactly when to stop, as well as helping him cut up the vegetables and separating them out. Wei WuXian felt like he should be embarrassed by his inexperience, but instead, he found that he was having fun, laughing when he spattered batter all over the front of his shirt because he misjudged how powerful the mixer was going to be, or cracking up at Lan WangJi’s face when he poured something out of a shaker and the stuff came out much faster than he thought it would, leaving a pyramid of spice on top. He was even amused when Lan WangJi reprimanded him for sneaking an egg roll.
“Wei WuXian,” he said warningly.
The man in question froze mid chew and said laughingly, “Oh my God, I just got chills. You sounded like my mom for a second. Now I’m expecting you to smack me on the ass with the mixing spoon.”
Lan WangJi did no such thing, but he did threaten to slap his knuckles with said spoon if he snuck anything else. Still, Wei WuXian could tell by his yellow forehead light that he was just teasing.
When they finished, laid everything out on the breakroom table, and the Lans sat down, Wei WuXian brushed any remaining powder off himself and said, “Well, I’ll head back to work then.”
However, before he could take a single step, Lan Sizhui was saying, “No, stay! I mean, if you want. I’d like you to.”
Wei WuXian blinked at him, still looking apprehensive. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude, I mean, this is a family thing, it’d be rude of me to…”
Both Lans shook their heads, and Lan Sizhui said, “Oh please, we practically consider you one of the family now after all you’ve done. And I mean, you helped me so much with my studying when you didn’t have to, and you helped me apply, it’s the least we can do to say thank you. Besides, I can’t eat all this on my own.”
The doctor stood there for a moment, waiting for them to take the offer back. But their expressions were sincere, expecting. They meant what they were saying. They…actually wanted him to sit down. Wei WuXian felt himself choking up again, his throat burning with the desire to cry, so touched was he by their words. He sat down at the table in a daze, and carefully put food in his mouth to prevent himself from bursting into tears. However, suddenly, he wanted to cry for a whole different reason, and after he swallowed his mouthful, he said, “Oh my God. Lan WangJi, how much do I have to pay you to cook for me for the rest of my life? This is amazing!”
Lan Sizhui laughed. “Isn’t it? My dad’s really good.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead light was deep green, and Wei WuXian was sure his face would be red if he were in his old body. Then, it turned yellow again, the embarrassment giving way to happiness so overwhelming he thought he might burst from it. He answered, “Nothing. Just ask. I told you I’d cook for you. Eat as much as you want.”
Wei WuXian tried to hold himself back, he really did. Tried to maintain some semblance of decorum and self-restraint, but Lan WangJi’s food was just so good that he ended up trying a little bit of everything. He was sure he inhaled more than his fair share, but he just couldn’t help himself. It had been such a long time since anyone had cooked for him, since he had felt this at ease in a family. Sure, he and his siblings got along and they loved each other, but this was different. Wei WuXian couldn’t explain it, but he knew when he sat there at that table, something unfurled and loosened in his chest that he hadn’t even known had been so tight.
By the time dinner was over, Wei WuXian was leaning back in his chair and groaning, “Oh fuck, one of you is going to have to roll me out the door.”
Lan WangJi’s eyes narrowed with pleasure and the ghost of a smile appeared on his face. Lan Sizhui hid a laugh in his napkin, before he said, “We’re happy you enjoyed, and you can eat with us whenever you want.”
“Ugh,” Wei WuXian grumbled, tipping his head back so that he was facing the ceiling. “Don’t say that. Then I’ll be imposing on you all the time and you’ll never be able to get rid of me. You don’t want that.”
“We do,” Lan WangJi insisted, completely straight faced.
The doctor knew immediately that it would be useless to argue with him, so he switched to another topic. Sitting up again and looking at Lan Sizhui, he said, “Hey, so since now it’s official that you’re going to college, you should probably think about scholarships. They’re a big help, trust me. Like, Lanling Jin gives out scholarships. I could help you apply if you want?”
Lan Sizhui perked up, breaking out into a huge smile, and replied, “That’s so kind of you, Wei-Yisheng! If you want, then sure. I can do that.”
Wei WuXian, still on a roll, also offered without much thought, “And…well, I don’t want to seem like I’m overstepping my bounds or anything, but if you guys need any financial help for college or anything, I’d be happy to- I mean, I have more money than I know what to do with sometimes, and if it’s for you, I’d be glad to help out.”
Lan WangJi’s head snapped up to stare at him, openly surprised, while Lan Sizhui shook his head emphatically, practically crying out, “Oh no, we could never ask you for such a thing! I’m sure we’ll manage on our own. I mean, I’ll probably start working soon, and at some point my dad will start working again. We can make it work.”
Wei WuXian nodded in understanding, but still felt the need to say, “I’ve seen too many brilliant kids who would have done wonderful things in this field unable to get in because of money. I’d do the same for them. So, if you need help, just give me a shout.”
The two Lans glanced at each other, and then back at the doctor, as if still trying to gauge whether he was serious or not. He certainly looked serious, his expression firm but still kind. Lan Sizhui heaved a sigh of defeat. “I suppose we can’t stop you. But I think we’ll be okay.”
Wei WuXian winked at them. “That’s right, you can’t. Now,” he gestured towards the food, “please tell me I can take some of these leftovers home with me.”
He should have run away the minute Wen Qing burst into his lab, turned his radio off, and made him look at her. Even when he tried to bypass her and turn his radio back on, she blocked him. That’s when he knew things were serious. The way she was looking at Wei WuXian made him feel like he was in trouble, though he didn’t know what for. He just sat there silently in his chair, figuring whatever she had to say, it would be best not to argue.
Pointing at him, Wen Qing said, “Alright, this has gone on long enough. You haven’t gone home in weeks, Wei WuXian, except to pick up spare clothes. You’ve been using the shower in the gym and napping on the couch in your lab, for heaven’s sake. I think it’s safe to say at this point that Lan WangJi isn’t going to break if you’re not here. Now, I want to see you get into your car and drive away from here. I’ll stay with him if you’d like, but”-
“No, you don’t have to,” Wei WuXian quickly assured her. He smiled with sad resignation, and then said, “You’re right. It’s about time I took a break from this place. I’ll go home.”
He said that, and yet part of him wondered if he could just hide out in his lab like he usually did past business hours and see if she forgot about. No such luck. Right at five, Wen Qing appeared in his doorway, her arms folded and an eyebrow raised expectantly. Wei WuXian sighed, pushed himself away from his work bench, and got up. However, after he hung up his lab coat, he didn’t go straight down to the front foyer. Instead, he moved past Wen Qing and wandered down to the physio room where, as he guessed, Lan WangJi was doing a few fine motor control exercises. His wheelchair was beside him, just in case, but at the moment, he was standing up, trying to get himself used to staying on his feet for longer periods of time. When he heard Wei WuXian at the door, he lifted his head.
“Hey,” the doctor began awkwardly. “So…I’m going home tonight. In case you go looking for me in my lab and I’m not there, I didn’t die or get kidnapped.”
Lan WangJi nodded. “Then I will see you tomorrow.”
Wei WuXian lingered in the doorway, toeing the floor and fumbling with one of his sleeves. After a moment, he added, “You know, if you need help, you can get ahold of any of the nurses during the night. They had other patients they watch too, so they’ll be around. Like if you feel any numbness in your limbs, or if you’re lightheaded or dizzy, don’t ignore it. Tell someone, because that could mean something is seriously wrong.”
Lan WangJi replied, “I will.”
“Or if you don’t want to talk to the nurses, you can call me too. Chances are I’ll be up, I’m a horrible insomniac, and I’ll be right over. Or if you just can’t sleep and want to talk to someone, I mean it, any little thing”-
“Wei WuXian. It’ll be okay. Go home.”
His words were gentle, as was his expression, so Wei WuXian knew he was saying it out of genuine concern for his wellbeing, to reassure him. And yet, they stung. Part of him was hoping Lan WangJi would ask for him to stay so that he would have an excuse to do so. But of course, he wanted him to go as well. Wei WuXian smiled, and said, “Alright. I’ll do that. Try not to miss me too much.”
Lan WangJi didn’t reply; he just watched him turn around in the doorway and place his hand on the frame. Once again, Wei WuXian hesitated, tapping his pointer finger against the wood. Before he could stop himself, once again he said, “I mean it, Lan WangJi. Anything you need.”
“I know,” Lan WangJi replied in that same, patient tone.
Wei WuXian sighed, trying to steady the sudden flood of nerves. “Right. Of course. I’ll go. Now.”
And before he could embarrass himself any further, he left, practically skittering out of the room and running towards his car.
True to her word, Wen Qing stood in the parking lot and watched his car drive away, and he had no doubt she would remain there to make sure his car didn’t reappear again due to him sneakily turning around and taking one of the back ways in. So he behaved, driving straight home. When he got inside his apartment, he didn’t even linger in his own doorway as he sometimes did, instead kicking off his shoes and breezing right inside.
After being absent from this place for so long, there was a lot to do, a lot to keep him busy, to keep his mind occupied. There was a ton of cleaning to be done, for example. He could organize his closet, get rid of clothes he hadn’t worn in years. The heating lamp in his bathroom was busted as well, he could always tinker with that.
He laughed at himself as he tied back his hair and set to work. Why had he been so against coming here again? There was more than enough to keep him busy! This was all long overdue. Wen Qing was right, things would be fine back at the lab.
At least, that was what he believed until it was time for him to head for bed.
Wei WuXian had dreaded going to bed since he was small. He was always fine when he was moving around, when he was thinking about what he had to do next. But when it came time for him to relax and turning his racing mind off, he was at a loss. And the longer it took for him to calm down, the less sleep he was likely to get that night, and the more anxious he became, and so the cycle perpetuated itself; he didn’t sleep because he was anxious, and he was anxious because he didn’t sleep.
And that cycle went around and around until he felt a familiar shakiness in his limbs and nausea in his stomach that he didn’t notice until it was too late.
Wei WuXian froze on his way to the shower, digging his hands in his hair and whispering, “Oh no, no, please don’t, not again, I can’t go through this bullshit again.”
It was a panic attack, and as always, he had no idea what triggered it or how to make it stop. All he knew was that he was scared, and what was even more frustrating was that he knew with one hundred percent certainty that he had no reason to be. There was no danger, even if all of his sense were screaming at him that there was, that at any minute, something terrible was going to happen. It was like hearing rustling in the bushes but the monster never appearing.
His shower did nothing to help, nor did climbing into bed and listening to music. All he could do was toss and turn, feeling like he was going to throw up, every muscle in his body aching and the ringing silence only frightening him further.
That was the problem, wasn’t it? Wei WuXian had gotten so used to all the sounds in his lab that adjusting to these ones at night was difficult. The sound of his own tools sparking and whirring, the distant chatter of other staff members, Lan WangJi’s feet clicking on the floor as he got ready for bed-
Oh God, Lan WangJi. Wei WuXian quickly glanced up at his digital clock. It was close to two in the morning. Was his patient okay? Nothing was wrong with him, right? He checked his phone. No new messages. Lan WangJi would have called him if something was wrong, wouldn’t he? Or maybe he couldn’t call him. Maybe something had happened so that he couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t reach his phone, couldn’t call for help-
Wei WuXian let out a slow, shaky breath. He was overthinking things. He knew he was. Even if Lan WangJi couldn’t get ahold of him, someone else would have to let him know if something was amiss. Everything was okay at Lanling Jin.
Focus on something else, he told himself.
Yet, all he could seem to think about his own loneliness and how it contrasted to how happy he had been earlier in the day. He could still taste the dinner Lan WangJi had made, could still remember how warm and comforting it felt to feel like he was part of the Lan family.
Wei WuXian curled up further under his blankets, his mind jumping from one thing to the next. Loneliness and panic were a terrible mix. Yes, he was extraverted, had many friends and siblings that cared about him, but when it came down to it, he always came home to an empty apartment. He would have thought at thirty-one, he would have a partner by now. His heart pounded faster, and his hands began shaking, little terrified whines escaping him.
Was he really that terrible of a person, he wondered? Was that why he was always alone? It made sense. When he was a kid, the other kids at school thought his interest in human anatomy was odd, and he was teased for it, some even speculating he was going to be a serial murderer when he grew up. Things didn’t get any easier when he got older either; he’d only had two dates in his whole life, and they had both ended with the other person saying he was too “intense,” someone not built for casual relationships, and they weren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. That he shouldn’t be ready for that sort of thing yet because he was so young.
Wei WuXian thought they were ridiculous. What was wrong with wanting someone to love and someone to love him in turn? He didn’t think he was asking for much.
The only times when he seemed to be able to forget about his loneliness was when he was with Lan WangJi and his family. Being away from them was like stopping a medicine that had helped manage chronic pain for years. It made some small, ridiculous part of him wish that they wouldn’t drift away from him as he was sure they inevitably would once Lan WangJi was discharged. Maybe that’s part of the reason he wanted to help Lan Sizhui with school, or Lan XiChen get a partner, or why he bent over backwards to help Lan WangJi; he wanted to stay with them for as long as he could.
When the day came to let them go, he didn’t know what he’d do.
It took hours, but eventually Wei WuXian managed to snatch an hour or so of shallow sleep, during which he had a dream where someone was in bed with him. He welcomed the person, automatically curling up next to them and hiding his face against their chest, trembling and begging for their help, though with what, he didn’t know. However, they seemed to know exactly what to do to soothe him, running their fingers through his long hair and wrapping their arms around him, holding him as if he were something fragile, just as he’d always secretly wanted to be held. When they spoke, telling him, “I’m here,” he felt their voice vibrating in their chest against his cheek, and he sighed contentedly, feeling all of his worries drift away.
However, a strange detail was that the deep timbre of the voice made him realize he'd definitely heard it before.
But sadly, when Wei WuXian woke the next morning, still feeling jittery and nauseous and unable to eat a single thing thanks to the lingering vestiges of his panic attack, he didn’t remember the dream at all.
Of course, when he went back to Lanling Jin the next morning, everything was fine. Nothing had blown up, Lan WangJi was still in one piece, greeting him when he got to his lab, looking none the worse for wear. However, he did look a little more tired than usual, and Wei WuXian had the brief, crazy notion that maybe his absence was just as stressful for his patient as it had been for him. Of course, he brushed the thought away almost the second it popped into his head. Lan WangJi had probably been relieved to get some peace and quiet for once, and last night had just been rough for him for other reasons.
Still, Wei WuXian felt guilty for not being there, and so he decided to make it up to him. When he had the chance, he texted Lan XiChen, asking, Would you possibly be able to pick up your brother’s guqin for me please and bring it with you tonight?
A couple hours later, he received a reply: I can pick it up from his place, but I won’t have time to bring it to Lanling Jin. If you want, you could come to my place and pick it up? I’m sorry!
Wei WuXian told him, You don’t need to apologize! I can definitely do that. Just give me an address!
Lan XiChen did so, and when work let out, Wei WuXian drove over to the man’s apartment. When he pulled into the parking lot, he was surprised to see Lan XiChen running back and forth from the front foyer of his apartment building to his car, throwing bag after bag in the trunk. After Wei WuXian stepped out of the car and Lan XiChen caught sight of him, the other man waved.
“I’m so sorry,” Lan XiChen apologized yet again as Wei WuXian approached. “Mingjue and I made plans to go away for the weekend to his cabin in the woods and I didn’t even think to tell you guys. Here, let me grab the guqin right now.”
“No, this is my fault,” Wei WuXian insisted. “I asked on such short notice without stopping to think whether or not you had plans.”
Lan XiChen waved him off, then ran quickly into the building, remerging not too long later with the large, heavy instrument. As they both loaded it into Wei WuXian’s car, Lan XiChen said, “But this is good! WangJi will be happy to play again. You’re going to make his day when you walk in with this.”
“I hope so,” Wei WuXian said. “I feel like all I do is torture him with all the physio I make him do. It’s about time I did something nice for him for a change.”
“Wei-Yisheng, just so you know, my brother doesn’t see it that way,” the other man told him. “Besides, I don’t think many forms of torture involve cuddling bunnies.”
Perhaps it was exhaustion, perhaps it was anxiety still lingering from the night before, but Wei WuXian couldn’t take his word for it. He knew what Lan XiChen was trying to do, but the doctor was just in a mood where he believed he was the worst person in the world and the least he could do to make amends was offer Lan WangJi something he loved to do, something so he wouldn’t be angry with him.
Before he could reply though, suddenly, another car pulled up in the parking lot, one he recognized. After it came to a stop, Nie Mingjue stepped out. What struck Wei WuXian the most about the man after he had seen him last was that he looked happier than he had ever remembered him being, even when he was with his previous partners. The scowl that usually marred his face was gone, replaced by a smile so uncharacteristic that Wei WuXian almost found it disturbing. Still, his expression was so affectionate when he laid eyes on Lan XiChen that Wei WuXian couldn’t help but feel he had made the right decision in introducing them to each other.
The doctor received no more than a brief nod of acknowledgement from Nie Mingjue, and Lan XiChen, who lit up at the sight of his boyfriend, forced himself to tear his eyes away from Nie Mingjue long enough to tell Wei WuXian, “Well, you should be all set. I’ll see you on Monday?”
“Yup,” Wei WuXian said.
He took a step towards the driver’s side of his car, watching as Lan XiChen reached up and embraced Nie Mingjue. After a moment, the other man then pulled out of the embrace the tiniest bit, keeping his arms wrapped around his partner’s shoulders while his partner kept his hands on his waist, to tell him, “I’m done packing, I just need to get changed.”
“Well let me help you with that,” Nie Mingjue growled playfully, reaching down further to cup Lan XiChen’s rear and pull him a little closer.
Lan XiChen smacked the other man’s chest. “Stop it!” he said teasingly, before taking Nie Mingjue by the hand and leading him inside the apartment building.
Wei WuXian stood by his car for a long moment, stunned, before he shook himself out of his stupor and hastily got inside, deciding the best course of action was to leave and do his best to banish the thought of his engineer and his patient’s brother being naked together in a room from his mind.
When he arrived back at Lanling Jin, after stumbling down various hallways while carrying this unwieldy guqin, it turned out Lan XiChen was right. When he walked into his lab and placed the guqin beside the other man on the couch, Lan WangJi looked between him and the instrument, face openly shocked, and yet his patient’s forehead light turned so bright a yellow it was almost blinding.
“How…” he whispered.
Wei WuXian fidgeted, scratching the side of his nose and blushing. “You said you haven’t played in years, I figured now would be a good a time as any. Besides, I told you I wanted to hear you play. So how about it? You feel up to it?”
Lan WangJi looked between the guqin and Wei WuXian’s expectant, teasing smile, his forehead turning both aqua and yellow, clearly so overwhelmed that he couldn’t hope to articulate a response. Indeed, he just jerkily nodded his head, and picked up the instrument. Wei WuXian sat down a couple feet away to accommodate him.
Still, Lan WangJi hesitated, holding his fingers above the strings. All he could think about was the last time he had tried to play, and how the pain had been so horrible in his hands afterwards that he realized with tears in his eyes that it would be the last day he would ever sit in front of his guqin. But now, there was no pain. And Wei WuXian was here, so there was no sorrow either. Everything was like how it used to be before his arthritis got bad.
No, it wasn’t. It was even better.
When he plucked that first string, the years fell away, and he was a teenager again without a care in the world, his pain being managed by meds when they still worked. But at that time, he’d never had such a captive audience as he had now. Yes, his son also enjoyed his playing, but Wei WuXian looked positively enraptured, his lips parted in awe and his eyes sparkling like little stars.
“Lan WangJi, you’re amazing,” he breathed.
And he knew he had heard those words so many times from this man before, but for some reason, now they hit him differently, causing a warm flush to travel up his spine and settle in his face, where the heat swirled around until his forehead turned a soft pink.
Notes:
And we have yet another Savage Garden inspired title lol. I think you guys are really going to like the next couple of chapters, we sure do. But ayyy guess what ya'll, got my job back that I was laid off from at the beginning of the pandemic. It's part time, so I should be able to keep up with the weekly update schedule, but if I can't, that's why :) But ayyyy got some nice lovely older art of Joshua's to go with this chapter, it's so sweet isn't it? :3
Also thanks to Joshua for that caviar shitpile line, that's a translated French insult he shared with me that I couldn't resist throwing in here xD And thank you Joshua's fiancee for the inspiration of making Wen Qing tell WWX "I want to see you get in your car and drive it home," telling me I could use "Claude's shenanigans" in this fic. Ever since then, I've been haunted by the phrase "Claude's shenanigans" because it triggers uncontrollable laughter in me, and I swear it'll be the last thing I think about on my deathbed.
Joshua says: "After a couple of light chapters, it was about time to make you all eat a big bowl of pain cheerios while we both laugh evily at your pain. Do I have any regrets? ......no. But I want ya'll to know I wasn't spared either. Wwx and his pain hits a bit too deep, Ouch! My apologies for no art this chapter, I am a bit too busy with commission + medical appointment!"
Chapter 12: Seeing Right Through You
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I don’t see cracks in any of these eggs, so I think we can move onto the final boss,” Wei WuXian declared after examining the carton. He placed the egg to join the rest of its blemish free brothers, and then that carton back into the fridge with dozens more of their unbroken brethren, a little spring in his step from how happy he was that Lan WangJi had finally made it to this point.
Lan WangJi, sitting at one of the tables, looked at him curiously, but Wei WuXian didn’t offer him a further explanation. He simply grinned at him and said, “Sit down on the floor mat. I’ll be right back.”
The man did as he was told, watching as Wei WuXian left, and then a minute or two later came back in with a cat carrier. Lan WangJi perked up; he knew by now that a carrier meant a bunny for him to play with, and Wei WuXian couldn’t quite hold back from laughing at how quickly his forehead turned yellow. His doctor then unzipped the carrier, and very carefully pulled out the smallest looking rabbit Lan WangJi had ever seen. Its ears were stunted and nubby, its eyes too big for its tiny head, and its body was chubby.
When Wei WuXian saw how Lan WangJi’s eyes were practically sparkling, he said, “We’re going to the other end of the spectrum now. This is a Netherland Dwarf, smallest breed of rabbit there is. And because they’re so small, I was able to pack a few extra surprises in here.”
He placed the rabbit in Lan WangJi’s lap, before reaching in and pulling out a couple handfuls of baby rabbits as well. Lan WangJi was stoic on the outside, but on the inside, he was throwing up rainbows. Each of the babies were the size of Wei WuXian’s palm. It couldn’t have been that long since they had started leaving their nest, their fur fully grown in and their eyes bright.
“These guys are from the breeder with the Flemish giants,” he explained, placing the babies in his patient’s lap alongside their mother, “and these babies are just about to go to their new homes. Their owner wants to give them more experience in being handled. And who better to get them used to being handled than someone who can’t be hurt by their sharp little teeth?”
As if to emphasize his point, one nibbled on his finger, nearly causing Wei WuXian to drop it. However, he held firm, gritting his teeth and holding the babies out to Lan WangJi. However, the man hesitated, staring at them uncertainly. It was one thing to handle an adult rabbit who could easily get away if it wanted. It was another thing to handle a baby who was much more fragile and less mobile.
However, as always, Wei WuXian was able to soothe his fear by saying. “Come on, if I thought you would harm one hair on their little heads, I wouldn’t suggest you hold them. You gotta trust me, okay?”
Well, he supposed if Wei WuXian trusted him, then he had no choice but to trust himself. Carefully, Lan WangJi reached out and took hold of the babies. Of course, no sooner did he do that than one panicked and bit his thumb. However, the pain was brief, because the rabbit very quickly decided biting such a hard surface hurt, and it gave up. Putting down the rest, Lan WangJi focused his attention on that one, holding it next to his body. When it felt safe, it settled against Lan WangJi’s chest, pouting in a way only rabbits could manage. The man was patient with it, stroking it only when it settled down, showing it that being picked up by people wasn’t such a bad thing and didn’t warrant freaking out.
Wei WuXian huffed a laugh, sitting down on the mat across from him. “You’re like an animal whisperer. Seriously, is there any critter that doesn’t like you?”
Lan WangJi shrugged. “Haven’t come across one.”
“Figures.”
He watched for a bit, marveling at the way the babies all settled down against his patient’s warmth. Their mother leapt away from them after a minute though, coming over to nose at Wei WuXian’s lab coat pocket. Obediently, he pulled out some lettuce for her, watching as she munched on it, her whiskers twitching a mile a minute.
“What about you?” Lan WangJi asked.
“Huh?” Wei WuXian said.
“Is there any animal that doesn’t like you?”
He looked down and to the side, and embarrassed smile creeping onto his face. Absently, he began stroking the silky, black back of the mother rabbit. “Well, I don’t know for sure, but dogs always seem to have it in for me. And the feeling is mutual, I’m not a fan of them either.”
“Any particular reason?”
The doctor’s fingers tightened briefly in the rabbit’s fur, enough to make her stop chewing and look up at him for a moment, before he realized what he was doing and let go. “I was attacked by one when I was a kid. I was riding my bike in front of a neighbor’s house and their Tibetan mastiff escaped the yard, pulled me off my bike. I’m surprised it didn’t kill me, it was so big and strong. Its owners pulled it off me, but I had to go to the hospital to get stitches.”
He pulled up one of his pant legs to reveal a few silvery scars on his calf that Lan WangJi could easily tell had once been large puncture wounds. His eyes widened. If he hadn’t been told a dog made those, he would have thought Wei WuXian had been attacked by a shark. Lan WangJi had seen a few Tibetan mastiffs in his posh neighborhood. He knew how intimidating they looked and sounded, more like a bear than a dog. The thought of little Wei WuXian being mauled by one of those broke his heart.
However, what the doctor said next was not what he expected to hear after such a story. He looked very sad when he added, “I heard after that my parents called animal control and the dog was destroyed. Looking back on it, I feel a little sad for that family. I mean, I know the parents weren’t happy because they spent an arm and a leg on that dog. But they also had kids my age, and they loved it. So…”
Lan WangJi was stunned for a moment. How was Wei WuXian able to do it, to find it within himself to feel sorry for the family that had caused this phobia he would live with for the rest of his life? Lan WangJi knew he’d never be able to do it. This man was too kind. He didn’t deserve to be in his presence. All these animals should flock to him and sit in his lap, not Lan WangJi’s. When he recovered himself, he firmly said, “I won’t let any dogs hurt you again.”
Wei WuXian laughed. “You sound so serious. Alright then, if you say you won’t, then I’ll believe you. You’ll protect me from both dogs and people.”
Lan WangJi nodded once, a punctuation to the other man’s statement. It only made Wei WuXian laugh again, but Lan WangJi knew he wasn’t laughing at him. His eyes were soft in a way that conveyed to him that he appreciated the gesture, and was so delighted by it that he couldn’t help but laugh.
Not thirty minutes later, they looked up at the sound of footsteps, and saw that Lan Sizhui and Lan XiChen were making their way into the physio room. Of course, when Lan Sizhui saw the bunnies, he visibly melted, cooing and dropping to his knees next to his dad. Lan WangJi picked up one of the babies and handed it to him, telling him, “Careful. They bite.”
“I’ll be careful,” Lan Sizhui assured him. However, neither of them had to worry. The baby was so relaxed that it barely registered being passed around like a hot potato, settling immediately into Lan Sizhui’s warmth. The boy gently played with its ears, whispering things to it like, “Look at your illegally small ears, you’re too small and innocent for this world little bun. You’re so, so cute, what a good baby you are.”
Wei WuXian had to look away, unable to bear the adorable sight. Like father like son. Of course Lan Sizhui would be just as good with small, furry creatures. Instead, he glanced up Lan XiChen, seeing that he had come to sit at the table Lan WangJi had used to practice his egg holding. However, when he sat, he winced, a line appearing between his brows for a brief moment, before it gave way to an especially relaxed expression that Wei WuXian was certain he’d never seen on the other man’s face before.
Unable to resist, he said to Lan XiChen, “You look like you had an especially nice weekend. A certain engineer wouldn’t happen to be the reason for that, would he?”
Lan XiChen’s face went up in flames and he averted his eyes, playing with his hair. “Well I mean that’s…yes, we had a very nice time.”
Wei WuXian badly wanted to pry for details, but if there was anything he had learned about the Lans, it was that they were an upstanding, proper family, and asking Lan XiChen such things would most likely just make him uncomfortable. So he held back, instead glancing over at Lan WangJi to see his reaction to the news. The other man was wrinkling his nose, his forehead a burnt sienna. Wei WuXian couldn’t help it; he threw his head back and laughed, startling the rabbits.
Uncertainly, after he looked at the color his dad’s LED was, Lan Sizhui asked, “Uh, is there something wrong?”
Wei WuXian wiped at his eyes, wheezing, “No, your dad is just saying TMI. Poor Lan WangJi…”
He wanted to tell himself that this would be the last time he would tease the Lan siblings, but he knew that was a lie. He never thought he’d see a disgusted Lan WangJi in his life, and the sight was too funny for him to not want to see again.
“Good news though guys!” he exclaimed when the laughter finally faded. “Lan WangJi is doing really well! So well in fact that I think he’s going to exceed the Jin’s expectations during his next performance review.”
Lan XiChen and Lan Sizhui lit up, both of them congratulating Lan WangJi. His son hugged him with one arm, saying, “I’m so proud of you! You’re going to knock them dead, completely blow them away!”
However, Lan WangJi didn’t seem to share his enjoyment. The hand that wasn’t petting the baby bunnies clenched at his side, and his forehead flashed a stressed green so briefly that only Wei WuXian caught it. He sighed to himself. Only the two of them really knew how hard it was to impress the Jins.
Not too many days after that, it was time for the performance review, and to say that Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi had a hard time sleeping the night before was an understatement. Both of them were frazzled, Wei WuXian pacing around his lab while Lan WangJi watched.
Eventually, when it was almost time for the Jins to come in, Wei WuXian got ahold of himself long enough to stop, look Lan WangJi in the eye, and say seriously, “Above all else, I want you to remember one thing. If they do anything that makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say something. Yes, it’s their job to collect data, but they have to respect your boundaries. Whether they think so or not, you’re a person, and you deserve to feel comfortable.”
His patient took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his shoulders rising and falling minutely with the movement. He looked slightly calmer after, his forehead blue, and when he looked at Wei WuXian, his eyes were clearer, less panicky. Wei WuXian nodded in approval and patted his shoulder. No matter what happened, once again, he wouldn’t abandon his patient.
No matter what happened, things would be different this time.
A few minutes later, Jin Zixun and his assistants waltzed into the lab, the former’s head held arrogantly high, and expression of determination on his face, the latter’s heads low, looking terrified. If they had tails, they’d be tucked between their legs. More than likely, they were remembering what happened the last time. Wei WuXian was leaning against a work bench, sipping coffee from a mug that read “doomsday canceller.” Ironic, considering at the moment, everyone was staring at him like he had his finger on the big red button, ready to push it. He noted that this time, Jin Zixuan was absent. He wondered if he still had his threat to rearrange his face stuck in his head.
Good.
Jin Zixun stopped a couple feet away from Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian, the assistants all gathering up behind him, flashing Wei WuXian wary looks. He did a quick once over of Lan WangJi, pleased that this time, he was on his feet, standing in the middle of the floor in preparation. However…
“Why isn’t he already undressed?” he asked pointedly.
Wei WuXian was about to offer him a scathing retort, but surprisingly, Lan WangJi beat him to it, saying evenly, “I’ll get undressed when I’m ready.”
Jin Zixun frowned. “If you ask me, he doesn’t need clothes anyway. He still doesn’t even have genitals. What’s to-?”
A warning look from Wei WuXian shut him up. It wasn’t that he was afraid of him, but even he knew that two against one-because he knew his assistants would run at the first sign of trouble-were not favorable odds for him. For now, he let it go, deciding to move on with the review with no more than a derisive sniff.
They went through the motions of the last performance review, testing the flexibility of his spine, grip strength, how well he was walking, and his balance. The whole time, Lan WangJi behaved, doing what they asked, feeling pleased with himself when many of them noted large improvements.
However, Lan WangJi’s cooperation ended when Jin Zixun said, “Now I just need to check the waste disposal system.”
Lan WangJi narrowed his eyes and didn’t hesitate in putting his foot down, firmly telling the scientist, “No. You don’t need to see.”
In order to access the waste disposal system, one had to open up the panels just above the man’s rear and remove the lining of his coccyx in order to check to see if all the wiring was adequately done and holding up. There was no way Lan WangJi was going to let him get so close to such a sensitive area again. Jin Zixun sighed angrily, glaring at him.
“Wei WuXian, tell your pet cyborg he needs to lie down and behave himself,” he huffed.
The doctor rolled his eyes, before replying, “If Lan WangJi is okay with it, I can send you the data results. But no, I’m not going to make him do something he doesn’t want to do.”
Jin Zixun’s eyelid twitched. “They want the results from me.”
“I don’t think it matters who they come from, but alright, if you’re going to be like that, I can’t stop you. You won’t get any help from me though.”
He just stood there, leaning against his bench, deciding to watch the show unfold while he drank his coffee, watching from over the rim of his cup. Jin Zixun glanced behind himself. None of his assistants made any moves to help, staying together in a huddle while glancing at each other nervously. Clearly, he was on his own.
Frustrated and determined not to lose face in front of his assistants or Wei WuXian, he approached Lan WangJi, making a move to pull down the other man’s pants. However, the problem this time around was of course that Lan WangJi was mobile, and though walking was still tiring and difficult, he was becoming adept enough that he could move out of the way with relative ease, dodging his hands. Jin Zixun gaped at him, unable to believe his audacity, before his face twisted in rage. He lunged again, and again Lan WangJi spun around. Every time the scientist tried to access the panel, Lan WangJi would turn his body so that he would be face to face with his thigh. At one point, he got close enough that his fingers brushed against the man’s pants, causing Lan WangJi to stamp one of his feet, both to shake him off and to serve as a warning.
“You are too close,” he said in a low voice. When Jin Zixun looked up at him, he saw that the other man’s forehead was turning red. However, his narrowed eyes and cold tone made it clear that it wasn’t fear he was feeling this time; it was anger.
Jin Zixun did back up a few steps, but more from surprise than from intimidation. Instead, his defiance only infuriated him, his mouth contorting into a snarl. From his place by the bench, Wei WuXian piped up, “I’d listen to him if I were you.”
The scientist was becoming well and truly pissed at how arrogant Wei WuXian sounded, as well as the way he was just sitting there, calmly sipping his coffee, smirking. He paced around Lan WangJi for a second, like a predator looking for the best angle to come at his prey. He knew it was useless, but he was horribly embarrassed, and looking for any way to save what was left of his dignity. So, in a last-ditch effort, he lunged, growling with rage.
The next thing he knew, one of Lan WangJi’s legs was flying up towards his face, connecting with it before he could fully register what was happening. He reeled back, clutching a bloody nose, crying out in pain. Wei WuXian snorted into his coffee.
Kneeling on the ground, Jin Zixun chanced a glance up at Lan WangJi. The other man was glaring icily down at him, like he was no more than an insect in his eyes. His forehead was still blaring red, and his eyes were subtly glowing gold. He was looking into the eyes of a demon, and for the first time, Jin Zixun felt genuine fear. There was absolutely no trace of the cowering patient that begged for his doctor’s help during his last performance review.
“I said you are too close,” Lan WangJi repeated, his forehead glowing even brighter.
Jin Zixun’s assistants all rushed towards him, gasping, asking if he was alright, what should they do, while attempting to help him up. He shook them off, and a few of them jumped away. However, someone was brave enough to approach with a wad of tissues, and handed them to him. He snatched them out of her hands and pressed them to his nose, and when he did so, he felt a bump that hadn’t been there before.
Wei WuXian said nonchalantly while looking down at his coffee, “You haven’t spent much time around horses, have you.”
The scientist gritted his teeth and burst out, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Well, if you had, you’d know that when they stomp their feet like that, it’s a warning they’re about to kick.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, who cares! He broke my nose!”
“Each individual leg weighs as much as you do and both are reinforced with titanium alloy. You’re lucky that’s all he broke.”
Jin Zixun just seethed even more, making choked, gurgling sounds as some of the blood ran down his throat. Wei WuXian looked away from him to Lan WangJi, sharing a secret smile and another laugh with him that he tried to hide, one that Lan WangJi returned subtly. He straightened up, his doctor’s approval at his actions making him feel rather proud of himself.
The feeling of watching Jin Zixun leave the lab in disgrace with his head held low while clutching bloody tissues to his face was indescribable, not just because he had finally gotten his comeuppance, but because he allowed Lan WangJi to prove that not only could he defend himself, but he could back up his desire to protect Wei WuXian with action.
It was a couple weeks later when Wei WuXian finally found the time to take a look at Lan WangJi’s forehead light. He explained to his patient his fears that it was malfunctioning, saying, “If it’s broken, I wouldn’t feel comfortable discharging you until we fix it. The procedure will be painless thought, don’t worry. We’ll give you a bit of laughing gas and that should either put you to sleep entirely or make you woozy enough that you won’t remember anything from the procedure.”
Lan WangJi thought about it for a moment, before he agreed. “Mn. Alright.”
The problem seemed to be getting worse every day. No matter where they were or what they were doing, Lan WangJi’s forehead was consistently either yellow or pink, almost never switching to any other color. It would burn brighter whenever Wei WuXian said something stupid and then laughed at his own joke, or just laughed in general, or teased Lan WangJi, or even just walked into a room. It would get to the point where all Wei WuXian had to do was make eye contact and his forehead would flash both colors in a frenzied display. So, before things could get any worse, he had to fix it.
He led Lan WangJi into his operating room, the place where he experimented with living and dead human tissue, and prepped it while his patient watched with partial interest and partial trepidation. In particular, he was eyeing the metal instruments Wei WuXian was placing in a tray, some of them looking like they were more suited for welding than surgery, and while he knew that made sense, it was still a little intimidating. Wei WuXian noticed his apprehension and smiled.
“Don’t worry,” he assured him. “I’ll make it quick. We shouldn’t be in here for more than thirty minutes, forty-five tops. After this you can go back into your room and take a nap. I’ll light some of your incense for you if you want?”
Lan WangJi nodded after a moment, then added, “Turn on your radio too. It helps me fall asleep.”
“Aw, you like my radio?”
“Yes.”
Wei WuXian laughed, for he knew that had to be a joke. No one liked his radio. Not even Wen Ning, as sweet as he was, tolerated Wei WuXian’s music very well, even if he never said anything, but his forehead was always light green whenever he was stuck listening to it for too long. He knew the truth, but he let it slide for now, deciding that he found Lan WangJi’s sincerity cute, even if it was forced.
Once he was ready, he was attaching wires to tiny ports located on his patient’s scalp that would help him monitor his brain activity through the whole procedure, and when the corresponding monitor began reading, he told Lan WangJi, “Alright, I’ll have you stand there for me. I’m going to lay you back in a second.”
The man did as he was asked, standing on top of a small ledge, and watching as Wei WuXian pushed a pedal with his foot. The operating table then slowly began to lean back, putting his body in more of a reclining position, though he stayed upright for the most part. However, it guaranteed that while he was under the influence of the laughing gas, he wouldn’t slide off to the side or something and would remain where Wei WuXian wanted him. Sitting up like this would be the best position for him to see what he wanted to see and access what he needed to.
Lan WangJi forced himself to sit still when Wei WuXian placed the mask over his nose and mouth, though of course his doctor could see that his forehead was very green at the moment. He patted the top of Lan WangJi’s hands, and said, “Just focus on me. Look at me. I’m right here, okay? No matter what happens, I’ve got you.”
His patient nodded, though it was a delayed reaction as the laughing gas began to take effect. Thankfully, that seemed to be all that was needed to get his forehead light to flicker from green to blue to a deeper blue as he relaxed. His eyes were heavy, but they never stayed closed, maintaining their focus on the doctor. Wei WuXian decided that would have to do, and began working, putting his work goggles on, unscrewing panels and peeling back silicone to access the wires that connected his patient’s brain to the light.
To Wei WuXian’s surprise, without him even touching the wires, the light turned bright pink. He glanced down at Lan WangJi’s face, wondering what he was looking at to illicit such a reaction. His cloudy golden eyes were still focused on Wei WuXian, leaving the doctor confused. His eyes wandered, until he remembered that he was rather close to his patient at the moment. The fact that they were touching probably caused the oxytocin reaction. Of course, that had to be it.
While Wei WuXian worked, he was gripped by the sudden impulse to tease his poor patient, not knowing when or if he’d get an opportunity like this again. He was curious what kinds of things a drugged, out-of-it Lan WangJi would say. So, grinning, he met the other man’s eyes, and said, “What are you looking at me like that for? Am I pretty?”
To his utter delight, Lan WangJi replied earnestly, “Mn. Very. Have the prettiest doctor in Lanling Jin.”
Wei WuXian had to stop what he was doing for a second so that he could double over and wheeze with laughter. He could feel tears forming in his eyes, and he was regretting that he hadn’t thought to bring his phone in here and record this. Lan Sizhui and Lan XiChen would absolutely die laughing.
When he recovered, he stood up again and continued working, a few giggles escaping him now and again as he replied, “Well thank you, you’re rather handsome yourself.”
Lan WangJi’s expression grew even softer, and so did the pink in his forehead. He slurred, “We should…should go on a date. Oh but…can’t leave here.”
Wei WuXian laughed again, “Aw, sure we could! I told you I can sneak you out of here, remember? You just tell me where you want to go.”
“Somewhere there’s sun. You remind me of the sun. You’re br- brril- bright.”
“That’s the lamp behind me.”
“Mmnnno. Wei-Yisheng is an angel. He saved me. I owe him my life.”
The doctor snorted in amusement. The poor thing was so out of it. “Alright you, how about you relax and take a nap? I’ll be done in a bit.”
“If that’s what Wei-Yisheng wants.”
“Lan WangJi oh my God I can’t deal with you.”
His patient did what he was told, and eventually his eyes closed. He dozed for the rest of the exam, his forehead light remaining a deep blue. Now that his doctor could concentrate, he noticed something very odd; the wires all seemed to be in place and in perfect working order. Nothing was crossed, nothing was fried or coming apart, and everything was firmly attached.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” he mumbled to himself. “Everything looks fine. If another doctor asked me to take a look at this, I’d say they couldn’t have done a better job. But…something has to be wrong.”
He rooted around in Lan WangJi’s head for another few minutes, practically going in circles, driving himself crazy because it seemed the harder he searched, the less he could find wrong. There wasn’t even a speck of rust on any of the metal parts that he could blame this on! So, sighing in frustration, Wei WuXian conceded defeat and closed his patient up. He then removed the laughing gas mask, before sitting down to wait for his patient to rouse.
It was a little over ten minutes later before Lan WangJi’s eyes blinked open, and when he registered that he was still in the same room, his eyes began scanning it, the movement slowed thanks to the drugs still lingering in his system. However, when his eyes met Wei WuXian’s, his forehead once again lit up pink, causing the doctor to frown. What was going on? Why was it still…? There should be nothing wrong, so why? He held back a sigh of frustration, instead putting on a smile and getting up from his seat.
“There you are,” he said brightly. “You’re all done! Couldn’t find anything wrong, but that’s good! I’m glad I was wrong and you’re okay. How are you feeling?”
Lan WangJi didn’t answer him. Instead, he gazed at his doctor curiously. His eyes narrowed and he frowned, though what he was displeased with, Wei WuXian had no idea. That is until Lan WangJi reached up and slowly began to slide his glasses off his face.
“Why are you taking my glasses off?” Wei WuXian asked.
His patient held them up between them, studying them for a brief moment, before he lost interest and answered, “You installed something on my forehead that tells you how I’m feeling. But I only have your eyes to go off of.”
The doctor’s eyes widened, unable to believe what he’d just heard. That was….but then he looked a little closer, and saw that Lan WangJi’s eyes were unfocused, and his movements as he played with the glasses were slow. There was still quite a bit of laughing gas in his system. Right, that made sense. He smiled, figuring he deserved that after teasing the other man so much before.
Still, that had been unbelievably smooth. If he was like this now, he could only imagine how good Lan WangJi’s game would be when he was completely sober. There would be no one who would be able to resist him.
Just a couple days later, Wei WuXian approached Lan WangJi and said, “Well, since you’re progressing so well and it looks like your body is functioning how it’s supposed to without any hiccups, I think it’s safe to say I can officially discharge you.”
Lan WangJi didn’t offer a reply. His forehead light didn’t even change color, though Wei WuXian could have sworn there was a subtle pinch of his eyebrows. Not sure what to make of it, he continued, “I mean, obviously you can come back to see me if you encounter any problems. Like if you break something again, or something doesn’t feel right. And you have to keep up on your physio, that’s important. Every day, understand?”
“Mn,” Lan WangJi hummed.
The doctor chewed on his lip as he thought about whether or not he was missing anything, and then he suddenly gasped and said, “Oh yes! Since I don’t need to monitor you so closely anymore, we can see about moving your room someplace else if you want? Somewhere quieter perhaps?”
After only a moment’s hesitation where the other man contemplated his words, Lan WangJi shook his head. “I will stay where I am.”
“You sure? Really, it’d be no trouble to move you.”
“I’m sure.”
Wei WuXian scrutinized his face, trying to determine whether or not he was being sincere. However, as usual, it was difficult to tell with Lan WangJi, considering his expression almost never gave anything away. So, he just shrugged and said, “Alright then. Let me know if you change your mind, Lan WangJi. Maybe me blasting Cher every night for a week straight will make you change your mind.”
“Lan Zhan.”
“…Huh?”
“That is my birth name. Since you are no longer my doctor, I was hoping now we could be friends.”
His forehead was glowing green. Stress. He was scared of being rejected. Maybe he was being too bold in assuming that Wei WuXian would want to be friends with him? However, that was far from the truth. Wei WuXian’s cheeks spread into a brilliant smile, his heart hammering, and he had to resist hopping up and down and squealing in his excitement.
He never seemed to have good luck when it came to other people, but it seemed that some higher power finally took pity on him and allowed his wish for him and Lan WangJi to become friends to come true.
“Alright Lan Zhan,” he said. “Then you can call me Wei Ying.”
Notes:
So I must admit, for the scene for LWJ kicking Jin Zixun, ever since I saw Joshua's art for it, I had the song "Raise Your Banner" from Within Temptation associated with it, so that's what I listened to :D But lol for our French readers, I guess we could call LWJ a canasson? xDD Speaking of, I kid you not, this is the clip that gave me the idea to make LWJ kick Zixun, which then inspired Joshua to draw it. Someday Caroline will stop looking at animal behaviors and giving them to my human characters, but it is not this day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJGvvry0yXk&t=1s Likewise, Joshua is the medical enthusiast, and I'm the weirdo who can tell you that Tibetan mastiffs are becoming more popular in China, especially among the rich. They've become a status symbol there, so if you're super rich, that's the kind of dog you get lol.
Joshua was very insistent on making sure WWX had his special mug too xD Also, we now have a running joke where Joshua said that we only serve quality meals with this story, so I called it the Ratatouille and mentioned how I guess that makes him Remy and me Linguini xD
Some gift art!
George Ravenhall: https://twitter.com/jaegerbox/status/1384892902313238528
Lexi: https://twitter.com/ChiliLaozu/status/1384249853908160518
https://twitter.com/ChiliLaozu/status/1381687973582942210deardarlinniall: https://twitter.com/deardarlinniall/status/1382252036432003072
Joshua says: "Things are slowly progressing and eventually Wei wuxian will have to admit a couple things to himself buuuut all in due time! For now, enjoy Jin Zixun getting his just dessert and a bloody nose, cute smol bunnies AND Lan Wangji being unintentionally a smooth bastard. On that one I can speak from experience because during a surgery I had , when I woke up enough to stay awake, a nurse told me I showered the staff with compliments and even to this day: I have no idea what I said. None. Can't recall. Oh well! As long as it was nice! I want to offer the BIGGEST OF THANKS to everyone who draws for this AU , you guys have no idea how thankful and moodlifting it is to see, during this pandemic it's like sunshine through clouds and you are making this man immensely happy! We'll keep on posting links to gift art whenever available!"
If we ever forget any art, let us know and we'll link it :3
Edit: Joshua was commissioned by Strinisaur who wanted the scene with the bunnies drawn! It's so precious, I can't deal <3 You can find the full comic here! https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/post/658211134024859648/commission-for-strinisaur-who-requested-to-have-a
Chapter 13: Ego
Notes:
Just fyi, WWX pukes in this chapter later on, so be wary. Puking ends with the sentence, "Are you sure you're done?"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After his family had left for the day, Lan WangJi made his way down to the physio room, deciding it couldn’t hurt to get in a little last-minute exercise. He’d made a promise to his doctor after all, and he took that promise very seriously.
Right. Wei WuXian wasn’t his doctor anymore. He was his friend.
The word made Lan WangJi feel so giddy. Friend. It was such a nice thought. From the beginning, Lan WangJi had wished he and Wei WuXian could stay friends after he was discharged. And now…maybe…
He shook himself, and turned down the hallway that led to the physio room. However, as he made his way down, he was surprised to hear music playing. Odd. All the patients should have left for the day, and as far as he knew, Wen Ning finished up all of his physio before dinner. Unless someone had accidentally left the music on?
But that wasn’t the case. When Lan WangJi approached the open doorway, to his surprise, he saw that it was Wei WuXian who was in the room. But what was he doing?
He moved a little closer, stopping in the doorway, eyeing him curiously. This close, the music was quite loud, enough that Lan WangJi could feel the base pounding in his chest. That was often the case in the lab as well. He should have known it was Wei WuXian in here before he’d even seen him. And it looked like he was dancing to it. But not just a casual swaying of hips in time with the beat. No, he was actually dancing. Really well.
Lan WangJi leaned against the doorframe, afraid to make any noise lest he disrupt Wei WuXian’s concentration. He’d never seen the other man like this before. Wei WuXian’s hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and his lab coat had been draped over an errant chair, leaving him in just his work shirt and pants. His movements were loose and carefree, and there was a ridiculous smile on his face. He was definitely having a blast, expertly stepping in time with the lively, passionate song filling the physio room.
However, much to his horrified fascination, the beat seemed to be resonating particularly strongly in Wei WuXian’s hips, making them sway and roll in ways they had no right to. Lan WangJi’s mouth was incapable of producing saliva, but for the first time, it actually felt dry. His eyes drifted downwards without his consent, before snapping up again. No, that was not a good idea.
Looking up at his face wasn’t safe either though. His expression had gone from playful to intense, and sweat had started to form along his temples, making the few pieces of hair that had come loose from his bun stick to his forehead and neck. The power and unintentional sensuality he was exuding was making Lan WangJi’s thoughts go in very indecent directions, and to his horror, he happened to look down at the tiled floor and saw that the light on his forehead was fuchsia. Though he didn’t know what it meant off the top of his head, he had a sneaking suspicion.
Thankfully, that was when Wei WuXian noticed him, the other man opening his eyes and turning in his direction, and the illusion was shattered by him leaping into the air with an undignified shriek, before crashing to the ground. Lan WangJi, who’s forehead flashed bright green, raced over to help him up.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scream like that,” Wei WuXian said, rubbing his hip, which had taken the brunt of his fall.
“I am the one who should be sorry,” Lan WangJi insisted, pulling him slowly to his feet. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“…How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough to know you’re a good dancer.”
Wei WuXian sputtered and his face flushed as red as his shirt. He turned his face away, rubbing the back of his neck, before he said, “Please, I’ve never even taken lessons. I wanted to but…my parents weren’t going to let their son dance. That’s something that’s ‘for girls.’ So Yanli just taught me what she learned when she got home from dance practice.”
Lan WangJi looked confused when he replied, “My uncle let my brother and I learn how to dance.”
“That’s awesome, but I guess not every family is as great as- wait, you dance?”
Now it was Lan WangJi’s turn to look embarrassed. His forehead went deep green, and he said, “Not anymore. Not since my arthritis got bad. It’s been years, I’m probably bad at it now.”
Wei WuXian playfully pushed at his shoulder. “I’m sure that’s not the case. You should give it a try again sometime!”
Lan WangJi’s forehead was still very green, and he didn’t seem quite so sure that that was a good idea. Wei WuXian supposed he understood. Maybe he just wasn’t ready for dancing in this new body yet, especially when he was still adjusting to the fact that he could walk without pain or weakness. Perhaps another time he’d bring it up. For now, he changed the subject. “Did you need something? Sorry I wasn’t up in the lab, I came down here to clean up, but I got… sidetracked.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead flickered to blue, and he gave him a fond look before saying, “I came to practice in here for a while. But later I was going to tell you that I interviewed with the library, and I’m going to start working in a couple weeks.”
Wei WuXian gasped, and then let out a squeal, before leaping at the other man and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. When he pulled back, he exclaimed, “That’s wonderful! I’m so, so proud of you! Oh god we have to celebrate, what do you want to do? Just name it, and I’ll make it happen.”
Lan WangJi paused, thinking for a moment, before he answered, “I want to see you dance again.”
The doctor completely blue-screened, staring at him blankly. When it registered, he said flatly, “Really? You can have anything and that’s what you…”
“You’re very good.”
“Lan Zhan, I’m not”-
“You are.”
Wei WuXian’s mouth opened and shut like a fish on dry land, and he very nearly started flopping around in the same fashion because he was so embarrassed, he didn’t know what to do with himself. Nobody was even supposed to see him dancing in the first place, and now Lan WangJi wanted him to dance for him? However, it didn’t look like Wei WuXian was going to be able to change his mind. He sighed exasperatedly, his head and shoulders drooping in defeat.
However, what was odd was that the more he thought about it, the more some small part of him really liked the idea of Lan WangJi watching him dance. Even if he was bad at it, it still sounded like fun. So far, the only people that had ever seen him dance were his brother and sister. It was like he was inviting Lan WangJi to see a secret part of his life, one that he didn’t reveal to just anyone, and he liked the idea of him being in on the secret.
“Alright, fine you weirdo,” he relented, heading over to the radio. “But remember, it’s been literal years since I’ve done this and I never formally went to lessons. So it’s gonna suck.”
Lan WangJi’s expression didn’t change, though he did sit down on the floor, folding his legs in front of him. Wei WuXian could have sworn he almost looked expectant, excited even. He turned on the radio, flicking through his playlist for something he remembered at least most of the steps to, before he finally settled on an old Enrique Iglesias song. When he stood in the middle of the mat again, he tried hard to focus on anything but Lan WangJi, staring at a point over his head.
The song started, and his nerves made him overexaggerate his movements, and he offered Lan WangJi a huge, teasing grin. Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up yellow, and the man was pleased with himself, happy he turned his blunder into an excuse to amuse his friend. However, as he settled down, he found more and more of the steps coming back to him. He closed his eyes and allowed the outside world to fade, gradually disappearing inside his own head, unaware of anything except the music and where his body was in space.
If this truly was what Lan WangJi wanted as his reward, then he supposed he might as well give him the best show he could.
The steps to this song were certainly more elegant than the one he had been dancing to when Lan WangJi walked in, full of long, flowing steps and slow, sinuous movements. It was as if he was ballroom dancing, but without a partner. Wei WuXian tried not to wince at the realization. Why did his stupid brain always have to relate every situation back to his lack of love life and how different things might be if he had a partner? This song in particular made his heart ache, because he’d always listen to it when he was younger and imagine dancing with the person he was going to marry, back when he thought someone might actually care about him in that way. But now he knew that probably wouldn’t happen. He’d been told so.
Still, a tiny, stubbornly optimistic part of him untainted by reality he couldn’t help but imagine there was someone out there for him, someone who would be strong enough to absorb all the love he had to give, and maybe even return it.
For some reason, he thought of the check-up he had done on Lan WangJi’s forehead light, and the things Lan WangJi had said…he flicked his eyes towards the other man subtly, before glancing away. No, he was being ridiculous.
Lan WangJi watched Wei WuXian move, his eyes shining with fascination. It wasn’t just the way his body moved that drew him in, but his expression. It had grown softer, more affectionate, and melancholier, the more into the song he got, and it pained his heart. It made him wonder what, or maybe who, Wei WuXian was thinking about.
When the song came to an end and Wei WuXian finished with a flourish, smoothly kneeling next to the other man and leaning in close, stopping when their faces were only a few inches apart. Lan WangJi’s eyes widened and he gasped imperceptibly, his forehead flushing a deep green. This close, he could see the tiny hint of blue trying to peek out from the center of Wei WuXian’s grey irises, and he stared, frozen in place.
Seeing his shock, Wei WuXian snorted, before losing it completely and breaking out into laughter. He wiped a tear away from his eye, saying, “You should see your face! Oh Lan Zhan I wish I could say I was sorry, but I’m not. I had to. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so surprised before. But I hope that was everything you wanted?”
Lan WangJi turned his face away, his forehead still a deep green. Wei WuXian just laughed harder. “I’d say that’s Lan Zhan for, ‘Yes that was amazing, please dance for me many more times in the future.”
When Wei WuXian hauled himself to his feet, for the briefest of moments, he could have sworn when he looked down at Lan WangJi that- no, he wasn’t imagining it. His forehead was pink. It quickly flashed back to deep green, but for a moment, it had definitely been pink.
He shook himself, and then offered a hand to Lan WangJi, the other man taking it while still refusing to meet his eyes.
During Lan WangJi’s first day at work, Wei WuXian of course had to pay him a visit. Thankfully, he knew exactly where the medical library was, as he’d had to come down here plenty of times during when he first started working at Lanling Jin, and even now he still popped in occasionally when he wanted to do research. When he saw Lan WangJi sitting behind the reference counter, he strode right over and plopped an elbow on the granite surface, leaning his cheek in his palm while Lan WangJi’s eyes lifted slowly to meet his.
“Well look at you Mr. Snazzy Librarian!” he greeted, a huge grin eating up his face. “Being behind that counter suits you.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up yellow, and his eyes grew soft around the edges. He had to admit, part of his joy at seeing Wei WuXian was born from the fact that he had been afraid that now since the other man was no longer his doctor, he wouldn’t see him around as much. He never even dreamed he’d care enough to show up at his work and check to see how he was doing.
However, it was nothing compared to how surprised he was when Wei WuXian asked, “So uh, I was wondering, did you want to come to lunch with me, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang this afternoon? It’s totally okay if you don’t, but I thought I’d offer.”
Lan WangJi replied flatly, “I do not eat.”
Wei WuXian shrugged. “But you still have a lunch break? Come on, hang out with us. I’d love for them to get to know you and stuff. Have all my favorite people meet each other, you know.”
The man was sure a couple of wires in his head blew, because he could have sworn a surge of electricity raced all around his body when he heard the phrase “my favorite people.”
Nevertheless, that was how he found himself at a table in the cafeteria sitting next to his former doctor with Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang seated across from them. Lan WangJi was only half paying attention to the rant Jiang Cheng was going off on, still dwelling on the fact that he had sat down at the table first, and then it was Wei WuXian who had chosen to sit next to him.
“I swear to all that is holy, I’m getting a different roommate, and I want this roommate to be the most asexual motherfucker on the planet,” Jiang Cheng growled, “because if I have to wake up one more fucking night hearing someone moaning ‘oh daddy’ right next to my fucking ear through the wall, I’m going to wear your ass on my foot like a silk slipper.”
Nie Huaisang lowered his head and tried hide his blush in his lunch tray, while Wei WuXian was wheezing with laughter, forehead on the table. When the doctor finally did surface, his face as red as his shirt, he coughed, “Was that what happened this weekend?”
“Nope. That was last weekend,” Jiang Cheng spat. “This weekend was a foreigner he picked up that hardly spoke any Mandarin. But even so, he sure knew how to say ‘fuck me, fuck me’ because that’s what he was chanting over and over like a fucking hype man at two in the morning, oh my God Wei WuXian, please take me to your operating room and drive a drill through my skull, it would be less painful.”
“Oh yeah?” Nie Huaisang countered. He looked up at Lan WangJi as said, “One time we came across a baby deer when we were kids and Jiang Cheng started crying and we asked him what was wrong, and he just kept sobbing, ‘It’s too small, it’s too small’ over and over.”
“Huaisang!” Jiang Cheng hissed.
Wei WuXian snorted, and pointed at them with his chopsticks, saying, “Oh yeah I remember that! He’s also cried over baby chinchillas, cats that have squeaky meows, dogs wagging their nubby tails”-
His brother jabbed a finger at him and hissed, “Well you cry during every romance movie we watch, doesn’t matter if it’s warranted or not. And you can’t handle dog movies of any kind.” He looked pointedly over at Lan WangJi. “When we were kids, he legit peed himself when we watched that Old Dog movie by that Pema Tseden guy Nie Huaisang had and guess who had to help him clean up afterwards.”
Lan WangJi hummed in acknowledgement, deciding that the image was at least a little funny. Wei WuXian shrugged, but didn’t look ashamed. “What? It’s true.”
Lan WangJi nodded, and then nudged Wei WuXian, motioning towards his tray. “Take a bite? Before it gets cold.”
Wei WuXian grumbled a bit, but did what he was told, popping food into his mouth. The other men watched as he absently took a bite, and then shared a look. Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes while Nie Huaisang hid a laugh with a cough. They shook their heads, while Nie Huaisang decided, in light of this development, it was time to embarrass Wei WuXian some more and launched into another story.
“There was this one time,” he said, “he told us about how Wen Qing called him over to Qishan General because she had a young patient who was scared about her upcoming surgery, wouldn’t even get out of the car to come in the building. She had him talk this girl out of the car, and then he sat with her in the waiting room talking with her there until it was time to admit her. Turns out Wen Qing had asked this patient, ‘Hey, you want to see one of our really hot doctors?’ and then called him over. Wei WuXian didn’t find out about that until afterwards.”
The doctor shrugged, pushing his food around on his tray. “I’m just happy I could help. Nothing is worse than being scared at the doctor’s office, especially when you’re young. Wen Qing says I’m good with kids, and you know her, she never gives me compliments, so it must be true.”
When he looked up from his lunch, he chanced a glance over at Lan WangJi. The other man was staring at him with the fondest look. His forehead was also bright pink, and Wei WuXian asked, “What?”
Lan WangJi quickly turned his gaze away. “Wei Ying is very kind. That is all.”
Wei WuXian’s eyes widened, so shocked that he didn’t even hear Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng whispering among themselves, the former exclaiming in a loud whisper, “Wei Ying?’ Oh please!” The rest of the world had fallen away, the image of Lan WangJi looking at him like that with his forehead so pink burned into his retinas, staying long after the other man focused on something else. Sound muffled, and time slowed down, the only sound that was clear to him was blood rushing in his ears.
For the first time, Wei WuXian realized that he couldn’t deny it anymore; that pink light was directed at him. Not someone behind him or next to him, but him. It wasn’t a trick of the light, nor was it an accident, or, as he had proven to himself, a malfunction. He still didn’t know exactly what was going on or what the full implications were, but whatever they may be, judging by how bright the light had been, and how unwavering Lan WangJi’s expression had been, they were very purposeful.
Wei WuXian turned back to his lunch, hardly tasting any of it as he focused on his own swirling thoughts. There was something hot and uncomfortable prickling in his chest, but it wasn’t because of what Lan WangJi did, but rather because he had no idea how he should react. On the contrary, he was horrified that his first instinct was that the attention didn’t bother him. When he thought about it a little more, he realized that rather…he liked it. He liked the idea of Lan WangJi being that focused on him, of feeling any type of way towards him. But did Lan WangJi really feel that way? Wei WuXian wasn’t sure. But whatever his feelings, they had to be misplaced, right? Nobody felt anything for Wei WuXian beyond mild interest or tolerance at best. At least, anyone that wasn’t his family. He shook his head. Lan WangJi’s interest would fade. Definitely, without a doubt. They had only spent a few months together, not even half a year yet. It took far longer than that to really get to know someone. Once Lan WangJi knew him better, he would have the same reaction everyone else did. He’d find something annoying about Wei WuXian and create distance between them. His feelings would fade, and he’d go on to live his own life.
And Wei WuXian would be happy for him, knowing that it was what was best for him.
It was probably a week later when the second Wei WuXian woke one morning and gained awareness, he knew something was wrong.
His head hurt, first of all. But that wasn’t unusual in and of itself. He was used to getting headaches thanks to his insomnia. The constant lack of sleep always left a perpetual ache behind his eyes as they screamed for him to close them and rest, but he was very good at ignoring the pain. If he used mind over matter, or forced himself to drink enough water and tea, the headaches would usually go away. However, this didn’t feel like one of those headaches, and by the time he got to work, it had evolved from a small pinging behind his eyes to a grand mal migraine that squeezed his entire head in a vice grip. Lights that were too bright and sounds that were too loud made him wince. Bending over and then standing up again made his head pound. Every smell that was too strong made him nauseous.
He tried popping an aspirin before work, but it wasn’t even touching it. Great, so he was going to have to spend the day like this. No, it was alright. He could do this. Wei WuXian had dealt with worse. He’d come to work with the flu before, powering through the day until Wen Qing had caught him, felt his forehead, and promptly sent him home, but not before telling him he was an idiot with no sense of self preservation.
Though he was sitting at his work bench, he was too afraid to chance turning on his radio; the sounds of his own tools were hard enough to deal with. Thankfully, at the moment, he was alone, with Lan WangJi at work and Wen Qing in her office, Wen Ning with her, so no one noticed. Still, every once in a while, he had to shut one of his drills off, take a deep breath, and ride out the pounding in his head, shutting his eyes for a few minutes.
Wei WuXian knew he should go home. He knew he should. But the thought of going home only triggered the icy beginnings of panic in his chest, and he knew there was no way he could handle the feeling of being isolated right now, of being in a place where there was no one to help him when he felt this awful. He was better off here surrounded by doctors, he rationalized. Speaking of, during his next break, he decided he should stop down to see Nie Huaisang and see if he had anything for him to help him power through the rest of the day.
He stood up, figuring the trip there and back would be quick. However, the second he did so, he realized something was not right. Instead of his head pounding, all the blood drained from it with terrifying speed. His nose and lips started tingling as if they were filled with dull electricity, and his stomach churned. He only had a brief, fleeting though of, Oh wow I really don’t feel good, before blackness roared in like a riptide, knocking him off his feet and choking him with its thick foam. His eyes fluttered close and his knees gave out, before he sank straight to the floor, his fall broken by his chair, the only thing that saved his head from smacking onto the tile.
That was how Lan WangJi found him barely a minute later, the man strolling into his lab with the intention of asking if he wanted to go to lunch with him. When he saw Wei WuXian laying there, crumpled up like a doll someone had thrown away, beside his chair, he gasped, “Wei Ying!” and raced to his side, dropping to his knees on the floor beside him with a loud clank.
“Wei Ying,” he repeated urgently. His forehead was red with terror; he had no idea what was wrong or how to help. When he lifted his hands, to reach out to him, they were shaking. However, before he could touch him, Wei WuXian started to rouse, groaning softly and scrunching up his face, his eyebrows pinching together in pain so deep and profound he could hardly find the voice to express it.
Slowly, his eyes opened, though just barely, and he could hardly make out who was above him. Thankfully, he knew two people whose forehead glowed like that, so he had a fifty-fifty shot of getting it right. “Lan Zhan?” he rasped.
“I am here,” Lan WangJi replied.
He laid there for a minute, trying to figure out how he’d ended up on the floor and why his friend looked so worried. Had he fainted? He hadn’t done that since college. And Lan WangJi had been the one to find him, oh dear, no wonder he looked so scared. As hastily as he could manage, Wei WuXian sat up, reassuring him, “It’s alright, I’m okay, see? No harm done, don’t worry about”-
However, his body seemed bent on making a liar out of him today. Though his spirit was willing, Wei WuXian’s body was giving him the finger, utterly fed up with the fool that didn’t want to spend the time to take care of it. He froze, and then doubled over. Just as Lan WangJi was about to ask him what was wrong, he heard Wei WuXian retch, the man’s body convulsing as it was gripped by spasms. Lan WangJi flinched, thankful he didn’t have a stomach, otherwise he was sure he’d be feeling sympathetically nauseous as well.
Without a word, he gently gathered up Wei WuXian’s heavy curtain of hair and held it at the nape of his neck, watching as the other man spat out a stream of yellow, foamy bile. Sweat darkened the hair along his temples and dotted his forehead. He used the sleeve of that hand to dab at the sweat on his friend’s face, as well as tuck those loose strands behind his ears.
“I’m sorry, Lan Zhan,” Wei WuXian wheezed hoarsely when the spasms stopped. “Sorry you have to deal with this. It’s so gross, and you shouldn’t have to”-
He was suddenly cut off by more gagging, his stomach trying to force up something that simply wasn’t there. He squeezed his eyes shut as more acid burned its way up his throat, vaguely hearing Lan WangJi insisting, “You do not have to apologize.”
When that round finished, Wei WuXian lay there on his hands and knees, panting, his arms trembling with the effort of holding him up. He spat out more bile and coughed, not daring to move. Even worse, the strain of throwing up had made his head hurt even worse to the point of being unbearable. Tears stung his eyes and his throat burned with the urge to cry; he was at his limit, so close to breaking down and begging for help, but he held firm. He was sure the other man was disgusted with him enough as it was.
“Do you think you’re done?” Lan WangJi asked in a low voice, wiping away the bile that had dripped down his chin.
Breath taken away by the agony, Wei WuXian could only nod faintly.
As carefully as he could manage, the other man helped him sit up, before he scooped him up, one arm under his knees and the other behind his shoulders. Wei WuXian felt too weak to protest, instead gazing up at Lan WangJi with glassy eyes. He allowed himself to be carried over to the couch, where Lan WangJi placed him upon it as though he were made of glass. He held him upright and helped him remove his lab coat, before carefully pushing him down onto the couch with a hand on his chest. Once Wei WuXian was laying down, he draped the coat over him. Good thing too, because as the sweat started to cool on his back, Wei WuXian began shivering.
“I will be right back,” Lan WangJi said.
Wei WuXian wanted to call his name, to ask where he was going. A small, stupid part of him even wanted to beg for him not to leave him alone, not when he felt this vulnerable, but speaking hurt his head, so he kept silent, watching his back as it retreated out of the lab.
Please don’t bring back Wen Qing, he thought to himself. Please not Wen Qing, literally anyone else. I’d rather walk in on Nie Huaisang getting bukkaked by the entire pharmaceutical staff than have her yell at me her right now.
He brought back Wen Qing. The doctor was following behind him, her lips pursed against a thousand judge mental comments. Lan WangJi was holding a glass of water and a bowl, sitting down on the couch when he reached it before handing the glass to Wei WuXian.
“Rinse,” he said.
He did as he was asked, propping himself up on one elbow and swishing the water in his mouth before spitting it into the bowl Lan WangJi held under his chin. His friend then insisted, “Take a few sips. You lost fluids throwing up.”
Wei WuXian sighed, but didn’t fight him. His stomach was still churning, but he figured water couldn’t do much damage. After forcing down a couple mouthfuls, he laid back down, breathing through another wave of pain that washed over him. He placed an arm over his eyes in an effort to block out some of the light, and Lan WangJi felt sick when he saw Wei WuXian’s breathing quicken, his chest rising and falling in rapid, shallow pants.
Lan WangJi looked helplessly up at Wen Qing, his forehead light advertising his stress to her, flashing between red and green. She sighed, and said, “Get up for a moment. I’ll look at him, though I’m pretty sure I know what the problem is.”
He did so, opting to clean up the mess on the floor while she worked. By the time he finished, Wen Qing did as well, and when he returned, she told Wei WuXian, “There’s nothing wrong with you except lack of sleep and proper meals. Your body is telling you ‘Hey shithead, you’re not a teenager anymore. You need to start eating three meals a day and sleeping eight hours a night or else this is going to keep happening.’ And it’s what I’m telling you too.”
Wei WuXian groaned, and placed his arm back over his eyes again. “But…I don’t have time to do that stuff. You know me, I’m busy. Most days I’m lucky if I have enough time to stop and take a shit, never mind lay there and be unconscious for eight hours at a time.”
She snorted with derision, “This isn’t exactly something you do when you have time, Wei WuXian. You may have been able to get away with this sort of shit in your teens and early twenties, but not anymore. You don’t want to pass out in the middle of an important operation, or behind the wheel, or somewhere people won’t find you for hours. Consider this your wakeup call.”
He didn’t say anything in response, except to press his lips together in a thin line. Wen Qing sighed in exasperation. “Let me get you a painkiller. I want you to take the rest of the afternoon off. You need to rest. I don’t even care if you go home to do it or not, but I don’t want you ramming around your lab in this state.”
After giving him something to help with the pain, she left, casting Lan WangJi a meaningful look over her shoulder. He returned the look, a silent, I trust you to make sure he sleeps, and a, Don’t worry, I will passing between them. She then slowly dimmed the lights in the lab, before shutting the door, leaving the room dark and quiet.
Lan WangJi left Wei WuXian’s side for a moment, before returning wearing a clean shirt and a big, soft blanket, certainly something much more comfortable than Wei WuXian’s lab coat. After laying it over the other man, he carefully slid more pillows under his head. Wei WuXian didn’t resist, but he did smile, and whisper, “Thank you Lan Zhan. I don’t need it though. I don’t feel sick enough to sleep, really. Just give the painkiller a couple minutes to kick in and I’ll be up again. I know Wen Qing worries, but really, I’m not as weak as she thinks I am.”
Lan WangJi frowned, wanting dearly to tell him that it wasn’t a matter of being weak. But he kept his mouth shut. Pushing against Wei WuXian was only going to make him push back, so he tried a different tactic, suggesting, “Alright. How about you just rest your eyes until the pain goes away?”
Wei WuXian breathed a laugh. “I know what you’re doing. But my eyes ache anyway, so I might as well. I’m not going to fall asleep though.”
The other man smiled, and indulged him with a quiet, “Of course not.”
Wei WuXian’s eyes slid shut, and seemingly without thinking, he pulled the blanket up closer to his nose, before asking, “Is this one of yours?”
“…Mn.”
He sighed, long and quiet. “Smells nice.”
It wasn’t even what he said that made Lan WangJi flush, or his forehead go green with embarrassment, but the way he said it. His voice was so…so…warm. So much so that Lan WangJi could hardly stand it, resisting the urge to hold a hand against his heart, because those words felt like a physical blow against it.
Just as Lan WangJi thought he would, his friend didn’t stay awake for too much longer. Once the pain began to disappear, his body relaxed. The sudden, enormous relief created a sedating effect so strong that Wei WuXian was helpless against it, and could allow it to gently drown him in its dark depths. Before Lan WangJi’s eyes, his breathing evened out, and his head grew heavier against his pillow. The blanket remained under his nose, the sandalwood scent also guiding him towards the blackness, helping it to make him its willing hostage.
Lan WangJi sat there on the couch, listening to his soft breathing and staring across the lab unseeingly, reassuring himself that Wei WuXian was soundly asleep and not going to wake up feeling nauseous again in the next few minutes. His thoughts were swirling around in his head, one chasing after the other in a never-ending loop. Wei WuXian been on his own so long with no one to care about his wellbeing enough that it had come to this. He knew he had people that loved him, sure. His family, and Wen Qing, who had just taken time out of her busy schedule to make sure he was okay. But he knew none of them would be invested enough to make sure he followed the regiment the doctor had prescribed for him, and Lan WangJi couldn’t blame them. They had their own busy lives to live, and Wei WuXian was an adult. In theory, he should know enough to take care of himself.
However, clearly, this wasn’t the case.
Lan WangJi glanced over at him, letting his eyes rest on his face. There had always been something off about it that he could never put his finger on, something not right, but he’d never been able to figure it out. Now that Wei WuXian was still, he could study the details more closely. It was something in his cheeks, they were…
Wait.
Yes that was it. Wei WuXian’s face had always been slim, but lately it was a bit too slim. Lan WangJi hesitated for a moment, before pulling back part of the blanket and carefully lifting a sliver of the bottom of Wei WuXian’s shirt. As he feared, he could see his ribs, and his hipbones were very pronounced. He wasn’t emaciated, but definitely skinnier than someone his age and build should be. Skinny enough that Lan WangJi wasn’t surprised he had fainted; he was just surprised that it hadn’t happened sooner.
Pulling his shirt back down and covering him up, Lan WangJi turned away and dug fingers into his hair, before brushing it back away from his face. Gazing upon his sleeping friend, seeing how fragile he was and remembering how scared he had been when he had found him laying there, limp and unresponsive, Lan WangJi vowed never to let it happen again. For Wei WuXian’s entire adult life, no one had been there to help him in a way that he needed. Well, things were different now. Lan WangJi was in his life, and since no one else was stepping up, he decided with quiet determination that he would.
Notes:
So if anyone is curious the first song WWX dances to by himself is Ego by Willy Willam, which is objectively not the greatest song, but it's catchy and won't leave my head lol. Second is Ring My Bells, that's Joshua's influence :D And of course he got me addicted to the song, ugh. But oh god I had so much fun writing this chapter, especially the last angsty scene ehehehe, love hurting my favs >:3. Speaking of, isn't that art Joshua did absolutely fucking delicious? Beautiful boys that faint is such an aesthetic :'D
Just to let you guys know, the next chapter is our favorite one so far. Like, I'm so stoked to write it you have no fucking idea and I'm going to go all out on it :D Also, the story NHS tells about how WWX had to coax a patient out of the car and WQ asking said patient if they wanted to see a hot Dr, totally based on what happened to me when I had to get some teeth pulled and refused to get out of the car xD
Joshua says: "Greetings on this lovely evening! We are providing a steady meal of hurt/comfort in this fic and I hope the menu is to your taste! First part of the story was Wwx taking care of LWJ well now it's payback time with LWJ teaching Wwx how to take care of himself properly. You'll notice I made Wwx slightly chubby in past Borgji art, that was an intentional detail, to show how Lwj's efforts pays off later :' D. Hope you guys enjoy!"
Chapter 14: Crash and Burn
Notes:
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn, you're not alone- Crash and Burn, Savage Garden
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Mingjue!” Wei WuXian called out as he sauntered into the man’s lab, entering through the doors like a cowboy pushing his way into a saloon, “Man, how is the most amazing engineer in the world today?”
Said engineer, who had his back turned to him as he bent over one of his work benches, upon hearing his voice, turned around, irritably shoved his goggles on top of his head, and held up the blow torch he was working with, letting the flame blast from it as he growled, “What did you break this time, you fucking troll?”
Wei WuXian stopped a couple feet away from the counter, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Ouch. Harsh. What would your boyfriend say if he knew you were making his little brother wait longer than he needs to for a new part?”
Nie Mingjue swelled for a moment, before his frame slowly deflated, the fire leaving his eyes the same moment he turned off the blow torch and set it down. A deep frown remained on his face, and his eyelid twitched, but he still ground out, “What. Do you want.”
Wei WuXian, still blown away by the fact that he wasn’t having anything thrown at his head, said, “Well, uh, Lan WangJi’s arm is making a weird whirring sound caused by an ill-fitting rotor. I think he needs the next size smaller.”
The engineer turned around without a word, heading over to a few shelves in the back of the room. Wei WuXian watched as he poked around them, and then as he reached up towards the top one, standing on his toes to push himself up, he flinched. When he found the part he was looking for and pulled it out of the box, he walked gingerly back out and thrusted it towards Wei WuXian’s chest, scowling heavily.
However, to Nie Mingjue’s horror, he could see the wheels in the doctor’s head turning before an evil, gremlin smile spread across his face. He tilted his head and said casually, “So uh, did you notice that you’re wincing when you”-
“If you finish that sentence, I’ll make you eat this rotor,” Nie Mingjue threatened.
Wei WuXian plucked the box from his hands and replied, “Alright then, you got it. I won’t make any comments whatsoever about the fact that you got railed on a bear-skin rug by Lan WangJi’s prim and proper big brother."
When he saw Nie Mingjue dive for his hammer while bellowing, “WEI WUXIAN!” he raced out of there, cackling the entire way down the hall.
Upon returning to his lab and sitting down to fix Lan WangJi’s arm, he found himself asking, “So, your brother really is happy with Nie Mingjue?”
Lan WangJi, caught off guard by the question, hesitated for a moment or two before he eventually nodded. “From what I can tell.”
Wei WuXian breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. That’s good. I mean, even though Nie Mingjue yells at me constantly, I care about him. And I care about your brother too. I remember you telling me his last relationship didn’t end so well, and that put him off dating for years, so I just wanted to be sure.”
The other man looked away from him. “He…put his trust in the wrong person. They hid things from him.”
“What kind of things?” Wei WuXian asked hesitantly.
“Fraud,” Lan WangJi explained. “They were both lawyers, and when XiChen found out about the illegal methods he was employing to win his cases, he reported him for it. It was…hard on XiChen. They had been together since high school.”
The doctor’s mouth hung open for a moment as he processed what he had said, and when he did, he felt his face heat up with shame. In a quiet voice, he said, “Ah, then I can understand why he was so…I wish I had known. I feel bad now for being so flippant in setting him and Nie Mingjue up on a whim like that. I should have been more considerate. What if I just hurt them more? What if-”
“Wei Ying,” Lan WangJi interrupted. “He made the decision to start dating again. Not you. Besides, he’s happier now than I’ve seen him in years.”
Thankfully, that wiped away the dismay on the other man’s face, replacing it with a soft smile. The uncomfortable heat left his face, and he said, “Well, I’m glad I could help. He deserves to be happy.” Then, a thought occurred to him, and his grin turned teasing. He leaned closer over to him and said playfully, “And so do you for that matter. Tell me, is there anyone special in your life, Lan Zhan?”
The other man’s expression turned comically displeased and he replied flatly, “No.”
Wei WuXian regarded him critically for a moment. He was so straight-faced that he couldn’t tell if he was lying. However, he had never given him a reason to make him think he’d ever lied to Wei WuXian before, so he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, has there ever been someone? I can imagine with good looks like yours, you must have had women wrapped around the block fighting to get into your apartment and see you.”
Lan WangJi huffed a breath, and mumbled, “Not women.”
Wei WuXian’s smile became cheeky, and he leaned in a little closer, completely forgetting about the repairs he was supposed to be making, opting instead to set his chin on his palm and set down his tools. “Their loss,” he said smoothly. “Men then?”
The other man wrinkled his nose slightly, as if he was smelling something bad. “One date. Didn’t end well.”
“Oof, I feel you there,” he said, nodding sympathetically. “I’ve only had two dates, both ended badly.”
Lan WangJi didn’t say anything, but Wei WuXian could see in his eyes that he wanted details. He was just too upstanding to be nosy. Still, it had been years ago, so Wei WuXian didn’t mind sharing. “They didn’t like how uh, affectionate I was. Too touchy, that’s what they said, too intense for a first date. I mean, I was careful about where I touched of course, but I get it, some people just don’t like physical affection. It was my fault for not respecting their boundaries. I just like giving hugs, touching shoulders, putting arms around people I care about, or resting my head on their shoulders or in their laps. I do it without thinking. I’ve gotten better at holding myself back though, then maybe people will want to be around me, I don’t know.”
He laughed darkly and shook his head. “Eh, don’t listen to me. I’m just rambling, let me get back to fixing your arm, that’s more important than my piddly-ass problems.”
Trying to forget the embarrassing things he had just revealed, Wei WuXian dove back into his work, and because he wasn’t looking at Lan WangJi’s face, he couldn’t see the fact that his forehead had turned aqua, or that his expression was reflecting a heart that was breaking into little pieces at his confession. In fact, he almost didn’t hear Lan WangJi quietly say, “I don’t mind if you touch me.”
Wei WuXian’s hands stopped, and he looked up from Lan WangJi’s arm. When he registered what he said, he offered the other man indulgent smile and said, “That’s sweet of you, Lan Zhan, but you’d get sick of how huggy I can be really quick. My brother sure as hell is. Even Nie Huaisang has told me to back off, and that guy has no sense of boundaries.”
Lan WangJi insisted, “I will not get sick of it.”
“Alright, alright, if you say so. I’m going to start hugging the shit out of you then, and you just let me know when I get annoying. Trust me, I won’t take offense, I’ll totally deserve it.”
“Won’t happen,” he declared.
“Oh my God I can’t deal with you….”
Some time later, Lan WangJi was dealing with a bit of a crisis. He promised himself he’d start taking care of Wei WuXian, and he kept waiting for an opportunity where Wei WuXian looked tired so he could swoop in and suggest that he turn in for the night as well. Gentle nudges, baby steps, just like Wei WuXian had always told him about his rehab. He was afraid if he pushed him too hard, he wouldn’t listen to him, or worse, argue. However, every night when he went to check on his friend, he always looked very focused on what he was doing and wide awake. If he happened to notice Lan WangJi standing in his bedroom doorway, debating whether or not he should say something to get his attention, he just bid him goodnight and went back to what he was doing. If Lan WangJi ever did by chance find him asleep, he was usually passed out at his work desk with one of his tools still in his hand.
It was the same story when Lan WangJi tried getting him to eat more meals. Sometimes he would take breaks to pick at what Lan WangJi brought to him, but he would never leave his work bench. He would take a bite, then go back to what he had been working on for several minutes. Lan WangJi had never seen him finish one of these meals.
Lan WangJi tried to be patient, he really did. He tried to make things that he thought Wei WuXian might like to tempt him, and to be subtle in his approach. The last thing anyone wanted to be told was to change how they were living, especially when they were set in their ways, and he didn’t want Wei WuXian to get angry with him. However, after a couple weeks of this with very little change, he realized that something had to give.
At first, he was nervous to take that initial first step. But all it took to get rid of that hesitance was the thought of his friend crumpled up on the floor of his lab, limp and unresponsive. That was all it took to motivate him because he knew there was no other choice. He either succeeded or Wei WuXian got sicker.
He didn’t waste any time. That night, a little after the lab closed for the day and just about everyone had gone home, Lan WangJi made his way into the kitchen and set to work. He made something heavy that was full of meat and flavored with lots of spice, and once it was finished, he heaped a huge portion onto a plate and walked into the lab.
Of course, Wei WuXian was still bent over his bench, blind and deaf to the outside world, almost literally. His goggles acted like blinders so that he could only look straight ahead and focus on what was in front of him, and his radio was blasting so loudly it was a wonder he could hear himself think. Lan WangJi approached, and when he was standing next to him, he tapped his shoulder.
When Wei WuXian stopped what he was doing and looked questioningly up at him, Lan WangJi simply said, “It’s time for dinner.”
Wei WuXian noticed the plate in his hand, and smiled apologetically up at him. “Oh. Thank you Lan Zhan, but I’m not hungry right now. Maybe in a couple hours though? Leave it there, I’ll heat it up later.”
He nodded towards once of his spare work tables, before picking up his tools again and starting them up. It took everything in Lan WangJi to keep his eye from twitching; Wei WuXian had given these excuses to Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, and Wen Qing, anyone else who tried to get him to stop what he was doing and take a break. However, he wasn’t going to pull this nonsense with Lan WangJi. Bringing his inner parent out to the forefront, he said firmly, “No. You’ll eat now.”
Once again, Wei WuXian ceased what he was doing and looked up at him, the placating smile back on his face as he insisted, “Really, I’m okay”-
“I made it.”
Okay, that was playing a little dirty, but in the long run, he supposed all was fair in love, war, and getting a stubborn fool to eat. Wei WuXian’s eyes widened and he glanced at the plate again, then back up at Lan WangJi. Immediately, he felt guilty because, really? Lan WangJi had made this food with his own two hands? If that was the case, then it would be rude to let it go to waste. That prompted another thought that only made Wei WuXian feel even worse. Had the other meals he’d brought for him been handmade too? And he had ignored those like a total asshole, what was wrong with him?
He hesitated for a moment more, his gaze lingering on the plate. There was an awful lot there, and his stomach clenched at the sight of it. There was no way he would be able to eat that all. But he figured he should at least try, especially when, upon flicking his eyes back up towards Lan WangJi again and seeing his steely expression, it was very apparent that he wasn’t going to let this go. So, Wei WuXian let out a defeated sigh, pushed his goggles on top of his head, and removed his gloves. He got up and passed by the other man, plopping himself petulantly at the other work table.
“Because you made it for me,” Wei WuXian offered as an explanation for why he gave in. “You didn’t have to, you know.”
Lan WangJi placed the plate in front of him, but didn’t reply, choosing instead to sit next to him out of habit.
Wei WuXian then set to eating, and he was surprised that when the first couple of bites settled on his tongue, he found that he actually was a little hungry. It had been six hours since he’d forced anything down, after all. He began eating faster, nodding in approval as he chewed.
“Holy shit, this is good,” he mumbled around his mouthful. “My God, do you mix the spice with cocaine or something? Is that why I want to shove this whole bowl in my face at once?”
“You will stain your coat,” Lan WangJi said.
“If I want to stain my coat because I unhinged my jaw like a snake, dumped the whole plate in my mouth and some of it spilled out the sides, then that’s my choice.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up yellow, displaying his joy at the response, and only grew brighter the more Wei WuXian ate. He kept going until he had eaten most of it, before he started glancing anxiously back at his work bench, freezing mid-chew, as if he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. Absently, he said, “I should probably…”
“Finish first,” Lan WangJi said with a nod towards his plate.
“I’m full though. Really, I don’t think I could manage much more.”
The other man knew better than to believe him, especially when he saw how Wei WuXian had begun to bounce his leg. He insisted, “You can. Five more bites, and then you can go back to work.”
Wei WuXian snorted. “You don’t have to treat me like a kid, you know.”
“Do not act like one, and I won’t have to.”
The doctor laughed, almost dropping his next bite. “I suppose that’s fair.”
Eventually, he did do as he was asked, forcing down the rest of his dinner, his shrunken stomach protesting the entire time. When he stood up, he groaned, “My God, I think I just put on five kilograms from eating that. I don’t know if I’ll be able to move.”
Lan WangJi picked up his plate, his forehead still bright yellow, and it remained that way as he went over to the sink to wash it.
For the next couple of hours, he cleaned up the dishes he’d used to cook with, wearing his long dish gloves, already planning what he could make for Wei WuXian to eat the next day. Perhaps he could ask him for his sister’s number? He told Lan WangJi that she made lots of things for him to eat that he enjoyed. Maybe he could even convince Wen Qing to weigh Wei WuXian so they could see how much he needed to gain in order to be considered healthy. He continued to mull over these thoughts even when he finished and got himself ready for bed, formulating a plan in his head.
However, as he headed to his room, it didn’t surprise him to see Wei WuXian still working, his radio once again turned on. Lan WangJi glanced up at the digital clock on the shelf above his desk. It was just a little bit until nine, and he knew if he went to bed, just like always, there would be nothing to stop Wei WuXian from staying up all night. He hesitated in that place halfway to his room for a moment, before walking over to the doctor’s work bench again. Over the volume of the radio, he told him, “It’s time for bed, Wei Ying.”
Without looking up from what he was doing, Wei WuXian sighed, “You know, you are demanding today. First you make me eat dinner, now this? Don’t worry, I’ll get some sleep in a few hours, there’s still a lot to be done.”
Lan WangJi narrowed his eyes at him and crossed his arms. “Bed. Now.”
“Alright, now you’re just being unreasonable. It’s barely nine o’clock. I said I’ll go when I want, yeah?”
A pause, and then Lan WangJi said evenly, “I’ll give you one last chance to get up on your own.”
Wei WuXian laughed to himself, joking, “What are you going to do if I don’t?”
Wrong answer. Before the doctor could blink, Lan WangJi reached above him and turned his radio off with a loud click, causing Wei WuXian to let out an indignant, “Hey!” However, he didn’t have a chance to react further, because then Lan WangJi swiftly picked him up and hefted him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He slowly made his way out of the lab, heading down the hall, Wei WuXian trying to push himself up and wriggle free the entire way.
“Lan Zhan! What do you think you’re doing!?” he exclaimed. “Put me down! I can get to bed myself, thank you! Listen to me, won’t you? You brat! Every mad scientist has their own creation turn against them at some point! I guess I’m lucky it took this long. You’re utterly mad, Lan WangJi.”
“Because I want you to get into bed at a decent hour?” he asked.
“Yes! Mad, utterly depraved! Wait until your son hears about this…”
Lan WangJi ignored him the rest of the way, letting out a long sigh and shaking his head. This would be worth it, he told himself. He knew somewhere deep down that Wei WuXian was horrifically exhausted. If he could just get him to relax, he could hopefully get him to see that for himself.
When they made it into the showers that resided in the gym, he finally deposited his burden in front of one of the stalls with a simple, short command of, “Shower. I will be back with some pajamas for you.”
Wei WuXian stared at him, flabbergasted, his mouth opening and shutting, as if he wanted to shout and complain more but had no idea what to say. Lan WangJi glared at him over his shoulder, silently telling him, And if you take one step out of this room, I’ll pick you up again and put you back in here, as many times as it takes. I have all night.
Seeing that he was serious, Wei WuXian “hmphed!” defiantly, before spinning around and furiously beginning to undress. Once he saw that, Lan WangJi nodded with approval, and stepped outside. However, he didn’t leave until he heard the shower water turn on. Seriously, the lengths he had to go to make sure this man did the simplest tasks. It was mind boggling and frustrating. He could understand why none of his family had the patience or time to take on the task.
Unfortunately for Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi had both in spades.
After he deposited the pajamas over the towel rack, he left the bathroom again, deciding to wait on the couch in the lab for the other man to return. He did not too long later, having sped through his shower out of habit. Lan WangJi heard him before he saw him, the other man’s voice echoing down the hall as he got closer to the door, “Really, I don’t need pajamas. I can sleep in my clothes. I’m more used to that, in fact, so I might not sleep at all wearing these.”
When he entered the room again, Lan WangJi froze, his eyes widening and his forehead flickering from pink to yellow. Wei WuXian looked so different, so soft, warm and endearing all at once. His hair was down and damp, pushed behind his ears. His skin was flushed from the heat of the shower, and his clothes were far too large on him. The collar of Lan WangJi’s shirt hung low, exposing his collarbone and one of his shoulders, and his pants, which were rolled up, practically swallowed up his thin legs. He looked perfectly huggable, and Lan WangJi had to grip the bottom of his shirt to prevent himself from doing so.
When Lan WangJi finally dragged his eyes back up to his face, he saw that his eyes were narrowed playfully and he had placed his hands on his hips. “I suppose you want me to brush my teeth too, dad?” he asked.
Lan WangJi handed him a spare toothbrush without a word, and Wei WuXian sighed petulantly, rolling his eyes before stomping off to the bathroom, grumbling to himself.
He returned not too long later, and hardly spared the other man a look before heading over to the couch and sitting down, pulling a blanket off the back of it. When he saw this, Lan WangJi immediately said, “No. You need to sleep in a real bed.”
Again, Wei WuXian dramatically rolled his eyes to the heavens and groaned, “Uggghh, Lan Zhan! Why are you like this? The only other bed that’s not in the hospital wing is yours, so…”
Lan WangJi raised an eyebrow at him, nonplussed. Wei WuXian stared back, utterly confused, until he realized that his silence was in fact, his answer. He turned his face away, trying to hide the blush he could feel rising on his cheeks, and mumbled, “I can’t intrude like that. It’s your bed.”
“It’s big enough for two,” the other man countered. “I don’t mind sharing. Sizhui and I did so for years until he figured out I wasn’t going to abandon him in the middle of the night.”
Wei WuXian squeezed his knees, gaze fixed on his lap. The truth was, part of his reluctance to go to bed was being he was anxious. Going through the motions of getting ready for bed, even though he wasn’t home, was bringing up bad memories. Memories of being suffocated in the dark, being isolated, unable to escape. His heart was hammering, and he could feel an icy chill washing down his back. More than anything though, he didn’t want to keep Lan WangJi awake with his tossing and turning. He didn’t want him to see him like that. He just…wasn’t ready.
Still, judging by how serious he looked, if Wei WuXian said no, he would just keep insisting. So, reluctantly, he got up and slowly followed Lan WangJi into his room.
The only light that was on currently was the lamp on his bedside table, which cast the room in a gentle, yellow glow, and the blankets were already flipped back on the bed invitingly. Wei WuXian gritted his teeth, feeling guilty for his reaction. To distract himself, he mentioned, “I’m used to sharing a bed with people too. My sister and my dad would lay in bed with me for hours when I was a kid because I had such a hard time going to sleep.”
Lan WangJi didn’t think Wei WuXian was intentionally dropping hints, but he still found himself asking, “How did they help you fall asleep?”
They both crawled into bed, Lan WangJi claiming the left side and Wei WuXian the right. As the both pulled the blankets on top of them and got comfortable, he explained, “I mean, their company helped. But they’d run their fingers through my hair, pet my head, you know. It’s like an automatic off button for me.”
“Hmm,” Lan WangJi hummed, nodding to himself. The same thing worked on Lan Sizhui, even when he didn’t want it to. The boy would often almost fall asleep when his father would brush his hair for him in the morning before school.
Wei WuXian sighed, pulling the blankets up over his shoulders, facing away from the other man. After he had settled, he said, “Listen, uh, I’m sorry if I like, move over or get clingy. It’s…I tend to grab things in my sleep. But you can shove me off, or smack me, if I do that, I’d totally deserve it.”
“I will not.”
“Okay, if you say so. Still…”
He trailed off, unwilling to say anything more. Instead, he forced himself to shut his eyes and hold as still as he could. Of course, in just a few minutes of silence, it was obvious that he wasn’t relaxing in the slightest. The room was too dark, and he could hear the silence ringing in his ears. Despite the different setting, the different smells, and the different bed, the panic he was feeling was exactly the same. It was so frustrating. No matter what he did, no matter the changes he made, he couldn’t solve the problem. Perhaps he just wasn’t destined for a good night’s sleep.
He rolled over and stared at the ceiling, gripping at the blankets. Wei WuXian could feel everything slowly spiraling out of control, his mind jumping from one insane scenario to the next. Why, why did he have to feel like this? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why did being alone scare him so much? It was clearly meant to be his lot in life, he should just get used to it. This was nothing new. He’d spent plenty of nights at home alone and eventually gotten to sleep, somehow. He could do it here too.
But tonight, he wasn’t alone, was he?
He turned his head towards the other occupant in the bed. That’s right, Lan WangJi was there, his relaxed features illuminated by the dim glow of his forehead light. His eyes were shut, and he was laying on his back, hands folded on his stomach. Wei WuXian couldn’t help but smile in amusement; he looked like he had been laid out for a wake. Were the Lans really this rigid that they were even concerned about how elegant they looked when they slept? And yet, the sight still comforted Wei WuXian, the dose of normalcy cutting through his anxiety.
Still, he wondered. Lan WangJi said it would be okay if he touched him. Was he lying? Or did he mean it? He doubted there was an insincere bone in the other man’s body, but Wei WuXian’s self-doubt was a powerful thing. Still, maybe...a little touch wouldn’t hurt. Just a tiny one to ground him, to reassure himself that for once, he wasn’t alone.
He hesitated for a moment more, before he chanced scooting over, moving as carefully as he could to create the least amount of jostling. He watched Lan WangJi’s face carefully for any signs of rejection, preparing to back away if he gave off the smallest hint that this wasn’t okay. However, his face remained as still and calm as a lake on a windless day. The distance between them felt like miles, until at last, he brushed the back of his hand against the other man’s elbow. Wei WuXian braced himself, but still, Lan WangJi didn’t move, nor did he say a word. Relieved, he shimmied a little closer, and then closer still, until they were lightly touching all the way down the length of their bodies and Wei WuXian had snuck his head onto the edge of the other man’s pillow. Still, Lan WangJi didn’t push him away.
This close, Wei WuXian could hear the fans and motors whirring in Lan WangJi’s body. They were low and soft, not usually audible unless it was completely quiet. It was a little like the fan in a computer coupled with a low hum that created constant white noise. He focused on it, allowing his eyes to become heavy lidded. The sounds were rhythmic, like a heartbeat, and like a heartbeat, they meant life. Lan WangJi’s life. Slowly, very slowly, his thoughts began to stop buzzing, and his muscles untensed.
However, a moment later, he nearly jumped clean off the bed in shock when Lan WangJi slowly turned to face him. Just as he opened his mouth to apologize, he felt a hand settle on his head, which effectively made him freeze in place. And, to his utter astonishment, it started to pet his head, the fingers carefully and gently threading through his hair, as if afraid of causing him the smallest amount of pain.
Wei WuXian didn’t move for several minutes, his wide eyes staring unseeingly at the space in front of him in his shock. Eventually, he quickly flicked his gaze up towards Lan WangJi’s face, only to see that his eyes were still closed, and his expression was still as peaceful as it had been before. It really was okay. Lan WangJi was okay with him being so close. It looked like he even wanted him to be that close. But that couldn’t be right, could it? Still, Wei WuXian supposed as long as the other man was okay with it, there was no harm in staying where he was.
The minutes ticked by, the darkness becoming less threatening little by little. Wei WuXian’s heart started to slow down, as if trying to mimic the rhythm of the sounds humming in Lan WangJi’s chest. Once the panic began to dissipate, it triggered a gentle chain reaction. One muscle at a time relaxed in Wei WuXian’s body, and then, without him even noticing, his eyes drifted shut. After the darkness took over, he was forced to focus on other sensations that he was always too preoccupied to notice. The sound of his own calm breathing. His full belly and the lack of cramps from his middle that often kept him up at night. The heaviness of his body and how it sunk willingly into the mattress instead of feeling like he was being held hostage by it. This was…nice. He hadn’t felt this tired in years. His mind began to float, and as his awareness disappeared, he curled his fingers in Lan WangJi’s shirt. He had the final fleeting thought of, He’s got me, I’m okay, before Wei WuXian was at last claimed by sleep.
Lan WangJi laid awake for several minutes, continuing to stroke his hair. He heard the subtle shift in his breathing, going from shallow and quick to slow and deep. When he heard Wei WuXian start snoring, he let out a sigh of relief, for he was sure he’d never heard him snore when he fell asleep at his desk, or on the couch. As Lan WangJi’s eyes shut and he eventually drifted off, he could have sworn he felt the other man move closer and sigh blissfully.
Of course, Lan WangJi’s eyes opened sleepily at five on the dot the next morning, despite the fact that it was a weekend. For a moment, he had no idea why he was so warm that morning, nor did he register the pressure against his body. However, once he did, he was at first confused, flicking through the rolodex of his memory to try and figure out how he had ended up in this situation. Then, when his vision cleared and he saw that it was Wei WuXian- or rather, the top of Wei WuXian’s head, the rest of his face buried in Lan WangJi’s chest- the answers became apparent.
Letting his gaze wander, he saw that the other man had been telling the truth about being clingy. One arm and one leg were draped over Lan WangJi’s middle and hips respectively, settling there like dead weight and preventing him from moving. When he leaned back slightly, he saw that of course Wei WuXian was still out cold, his face relaxed in sleep. He looked so young like this, with his hair being a horrendous mess and the sleepy flush in his cheeks.
Lan WangJi smiled, feeling a surge of affection swell in his chest that was so strong he could scarcely breathe. He reached out and began running his fingers through Wei WuXian’s hair again, pushing the pieces that fallen in his eyes back behind his ears, unable to believe how lucky he was to wake up to such a sight.
He was sure now. He sort of suspected it before, but at that moment he knew without a doubt he was in love with Wei WuXian. He was so in love with him it hurt, and everything that entailed. He wanted this kind of closeness with him again, as often as he’d permit it. He wanted to take care of Wei WuXian in the same manner that Wei WuXian had taken care of him when he first arrived at Lanling Jin, protect him in the way Lan WangJi had been protected. He wanted to wash away some of his insecurities with assurances that he was cherished, that Lan WangJi wouldn’t reject him the way so many others have.
In the dimness of the room, Lan WangJi could see his forehead throwing soft pink light at the opposite wall. Not that he was surprised.
Luckily for Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi didn’t have any desire to move right away, so he decided to indulge the both of them, remaining in bed for a while longer. He shut his eyes again, but didn’t go back to sleep; he just let his mind wander, listened to the rhythmic sound of his bedmate’s breathing, and held still, acting as the steady, solid beacon of comfort Wei WuXian so desperately needed.
It was only when he began to feel dizzy even while laying down that Lan WangJi stirred, realizing he had to change out his nutrient capsules and empty his waste ones. Slowly, he started to get up, trying to extricate himself from those long limbs. But the minute he sat up and moved away from his spot on the bed, Wei WuXian roused, eyes blinking heavily. He lifted his head, slurring, “Mmmdon’…don‘eave…”
Immediately, Lan WangJi turned back to face him, and brushed more loose hair away from Wei WuXian’s face. The other man’s eyes shut completely, and he leaned heavily into his palm, which slid down to cup his cheek. He said gently, “I will not go far. Sleep.”
It was a testament to how out of it Wei WuXian was, because he didn’t put up a fight. Instead, he slowly replied, “…M’kay,” before settling back down on Lan WangJi’s pillow. This time, Lan WangJi was able to fully get out of bed, but when he did so, he saw Wei WuXian lazily grab for the giant stuffed rabbit on the bed before he held it to his chest, his cheek squishing against the top of its head. Laying like that, the collar of his shirt fell off one of his shoulders again, and the blankets on the bed fell around his waist. Lan WangJi pulled them back up over Wei WuXian’s shoulders, nearly dying inside at how cute the other man looked. He hated to go, but he promised himself he’d return as soon as he was done, and it was that promise that finally gave him the willpower to tear himself away from the bed.
Throughout the entire morning, when it became apparent that Wei WuXian wasn’t going to wake up any time soon, Lan WangJi elected to stay close by him for most of the day. This was mostly because it seemed that Lan WangJi’s room had turned into a tourist attraction and he had to become crowd control. When people noticed a distinct lack of noise in the lab, their curiosity was piqued and they came to investigate.
First, it was Wen Qing with her brother in tow, the former coming in for half the day to get extra work done. She was immediately suspicious when she didn’t see Wei WuXian hunched over his work bench, and when she caught sight of Lan WangJi on his way back from changing his capsules, she asked, “Alright, where did you put him?”
Lan WangJi silently led them both over to his room and held the door open just enough for them to peer in. They stacked their heads one on top of the other, both of them gasping when they saw Wei WuXian, asleep, in an actual bed. They gazed at Lan WangJi disbelievingly, their mouths agape.
“What did you have to do?” Wen Qing asked. “Did you whack him over the head? Drug his tea with a paralytic?”
Lan WangJi eyed her warily. “…No?”
“Then what the fuck is the secret?”
Wen Ning laughed. “Jie has been trying to figure out how to get Wei-Yisheng to rest for years.”
Lan WangJi just told them, “I fed him…petted his head. Nothing special.”
She threw her hands up in the air, and stomped out of the room, mumbling to herself, leaving Wen Ning to trot after her, saying her name in a concerned tone. She just shook her head in exasperation and muttered loud enough for Lan WangJi to hear, “Are you kidding me, are you fucking kidding me? That’s how I get my ferrets to sleep, was it really that simple?”
Later on, it was Jiang Cheng, who did the same thing, walked in all confused about the lack of activity in the lab and busting his way in. All he did was give Lan WangJi the stink eye before poking his nose in his room, and when he saw his brother, his immediate reaction was to ask flatly, “Is it dead? Did you finally release me from my burden?”
Lan WangJi crossed his arms and glared at him. “He is asleep. Do not disturb him.”
Jiang Cheng backed away from the door and shut it, replying, “Relax. That’s the last thing I want to do. I need a break from all the yapping.”
Those were his words, and yet there was an undercurrent to his tone that betrayed how relieved he seemed that Wei WuXian was finally getting the rest he needed. He glanced up at Lan WangJi and asked him the same question Wen Qing had, though in a way that implied he already knew the answer. “How did you do it?”
“Petting his hair. He said he liked it.”
For the briefest moment, a fond expression crossed Jiang Cheng’s face. “Yeah, that’ll do it. He hasn’t changed at all from when he was a kid.” He looked up, pointing a finger at Lan WangJi. “Keep it up. Lord knows my brother is too stupid to take care of himself.”
Lan WangJi narrowed his eyes further and said in a low voice, “He is not. He is just overwhelmed.”
The other man just waved him off and said, “Whatever the case is…I appreciate it.”
That caught Lan WangJi off guard to the point where he didn’t even reply; he just watched Jiang Cheng hastily leave the lab, keeping his head low and his shoulders hunched, as if he couldn’t believe he’d said something so embarrassing and was trying to make his escape quickly.
He eventually wandered back to his bed, deciding it couldn’t hurt to sit up and read for a few hours, and the instant he settled in, Wei WuXian woke slightly and abandoned the rabbit in favor of wrapping his arms around Lan WangJi’s thigh, settling his forehead against it before immediately dropping off once more into a dead sleep. Lan WangJi allowed himself the luxury of watching him for a few moments, his forehead lighting up pink and his insides feeling soft and gooey. The tiniest bit of possessive pride filled his chest, because the reason Wei WuXian was well fed and resting so comfortably was because of him. He had done what no one else had been able to do.
Not to mention…Wei WuXian looked really good in his bed. Like he belonged there.
Lan WangJi shook himself. Those thoughts were wholly inappropriate. No matter how right they sounded in his head.
A little after noon that day found Lan WangJi out in the lab again chatting with Wen Ning and Wen Qing, or rather, the siblings doing the chatting while Lan WangJi listened and offered his monosyllabic input when necessary. It was this scene that Wei WuXian stumbled upon, emerging from the dimness of Lan WangJi’s room. However, when everyone turned their heads to look at him, it was immediately apparent that though he was upright, Wei WuXian was barely awake. His eyes were heavy lidded, falling closed despite the man’s best efforts, and he was leaning against the doorframe, his head falling against it with a soft thunk. When he did manage to keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds, he looked like he had no idea where he was or how he’d gotten there.
Lan WangJi walked over to him, quietly saying, “Wei Ying?”
Wei WuXian groaned sleepily in answer, blinking at Lan WangJi through strands of messy hair. “Gotta pee. Can’t find it.”
The two of them stared at each other for a moment, Lan WangJi struggling to understand what he meant and Wei WuXian seemingly amazed that he didn’t know what he meant. Finally, a lightbulb went off in Lan WangJi’s head, and he guessed, “Do you need help finding the bathroom?”
“Can’t find it,” Wei WuXian repeated in a more strained voice.
When he started shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot and squeezing his thighs together, Lan WangJi knew there was no time to waste. He placed his hands on his shoulders and whispered, “Come on.”
“Kay,” Wei WuXian agreed easily, and let himself be led out of the lab, stumbling every few steps and relying on Lan WangJi for support for most of the way.
Wen Ning’s forehead light was yellow with mirth as he watched from his seat, while Wen Qing said to him, “The one time I forget to bring my phone with me…”
When they returned from the bathroom though, Wei WuXian still didn’t want to go back to bed. Instead, he headbutted Lan WangJi’s shoulder, much like a cat that wanted attention, and mumbled something incomprehensible.
“What was that?” Lan WangJi asked. He lifted Wei WuXian’s face by placing a finger under his chin, and oh heavens, his head was as heavy as a sack of bricks. His eyes were barely open as he regarded the other man.
“M’hungry,” Wei WuXian finally said.
Lan WangJi supposed that made sense; it had been well over twelve hours since he’d eaten last. He nodded, before guiding him over to the couch, sitting him down, and saying, “Wait here. I’ll make you something.”
“Better hurry,” Wen Ning suggested. “Or he might fall asleep before you get back.”
“Nuh-uh,” Wei WuXian insisted, though he was already listing to the side until he fell against Wen Ning, jumping at the sudden movement while his friend looked on in amusement.
Lan WangJi hurried out of the lab and into the kitchen, throwing something together quickly, before returning. He helped Wei WuXian over to one of his workbenches and placed the food on it, tapping on the edge of one plate to get his attention. Wei WuXian opened his eyes, though it took a few beats for him to process what he was looking at. Eventually, he did pick up his chopsticks and start eating, and Lan WangJi had a feeling it was only hunger that was keeping Wei WuXian conscious.
It appeared he was right because when the food was halfway gone and the hunger was quieted, his friend began drifting off again, right there at the table. He stubbornly went through the motions of feeding himself, though Lan WangJi figured it was time to call it quits when he brought a bite halfway to his mouth before trying to grab it with his teeth, obviously missing it by a mile. When the chopsticks began loosening in his grip, Lan WangJi hastily took them out of his hands and placed them back on the plate, not wanting Wei WuXian to drop his food and make a mess on his clothes.
“Lan Zhan?” he murmured in confusion.
“Back to bed,” Lan WangJi replied simply.
However, Wei WuXian made no move to get up. The other man wasn’t surprised. He looked like he was ten seconds away from passing out at the table. So, instead, he picked him up, wrapping Wei WuXian’s thighs around his waist and letting his chin rest on his shoulder. Wei WuXian moaned unhappily at the jostling, but settled down when he registered the warmth of his friend’s body, contentedly turning his nose towards his neck and nuzzling him.
He vaguely heard Wen Qing mention to Wen Ning, “I’ll bet a year’s worth of paychecks he doesn’t remember this when he wakes up,” before making his way into his room and shutting the door behind him.
Thanks to the sliver of light poking through the crack in the door, Lan WangJi was able to make his way over to the bed and safely deposit Wei WuXian back on his side of the bed. As he pulled the blankets up over his shoulders, he heard his friend mumble dreamily, “Bed smells like you…s’nice,” before his breathing evened out hardly a few moments later.
Lan WangJi stood there at his side, stunned, his forehead turning deep green. He forgot how to form coherent thoughts, and could only walk stiffly out of the room, confetti cannons being shot off in his head.
It wasn’t until five that evening that Wei WuXian fully returned to consciousness. Once more, Lan WangJi was speaking with Wen Ning and Wen Qing when he burst out of the bedroom, clearly still very groggy and rubbing his eyes furiously, before he asked in a rush, “Oh my God what year is it? Did I miss anything? Like, maybe someone running me over with a truck because that’s what I feel like happened.”
Wen Qing and Lan WangJi shared a brief look, her expression begging, Please let me be the one to tell him, before she said, “You’ve been asleep for nineteen hours. I’d be more surprised if you didn’t feel like someone ran over you with a truck.”
Wei WuXian sputtered in confused shock for a moment, before he rounded on Lan WangJi and shouted, “NINETEEN HOURS WHAT THE FUCK!! LAN ZHAN, WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP???”
Wen Qing rolled her eyes and replied calmly, “Because you needed it, stupid. You have fourteen years worth of lost nights of sleep to catch up on.”
He shot back something at her, but Lan WangJi wasn’t listening. His forehead was yellow, and his eyes were closed, a small, peaceful smile working its way onto his face.
Notes:
Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of chapter last week, I have no excuse ^^; But I hope this longer chapter will make up for it!
Joshua says: "A softness feast with sidedishes of Lan Wangji being determined. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, we sure did planing it and everything! There will be an art that will go with this chapter, but it will take some time since it's definitely longer than usual ; ) , I'll leave it as a surprise for the details. Millions of thanks to everyone for the support until now and in hope the rest of the story will continue to please! You guys keep on rocking!"
Have no fear guys, the chapter art will be coming around the end of May/beginning of June, and the wait will be worth it! I'm so thankful that Joshua is squeezing time for my commission, and I'll link the art when it's done! In the meantime, I'll keep updating when possible!
Edit- Look at this beautiful fanart we received for this chapter by Ledi-Alucard, it's so sweet!! https://twitter.com/LediAlucard/status/1395527600458633218?s=1
Edit- It's here at last guys! Please look at this beautiful somft comic Joshua did for this chapter and weep with me, I'm so weak over it. https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/post/652950634639851520/caro-really-wanted-to-have-actls-chapter-14
And another tiny comic: https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/post/653003297665548288
Chapter 15: Then You Look At Me
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Lan Zhan, I don’t know what you did, but I don’t want to do anything this weekend. Do you know how weird that is? I always want to do something. But now I don’t have the energy to move.”
After flipping out for twenty minutes about the fact that he had gotten more hours of sleep in one day than he had in the past few weeks, watching in amusement as Wen Qing yelled at him about how this was a good thing, he needed it, "Only you would throw a fit over doing something beneficial for yourself, Wei WuXian," the doctor shooed them out of his lab before lumbering back into Lan WangJi's room, where he collapsed on the bed and threw an arm over his eyes.
“Like, look at me!" he said, "I don’t even want to change out of my pajamas! I just want to lay here and be a lump. It’s because I’m so tired, why am I so fucking tired?”
Lan WangJi, who was watching him from the doorway with his forehead a soft yellow, wandered inside and sat on the edge of the bed, before he laid down, leaning his weight on his arm so that he was hovering close to the other man. “You are catching up on sleep,” he said.
Wei WuXian pulled his arm away from his eyes and lamented, “I already slept an entire day away! How can I still want to sleep?”
“It’s possible," Lan WangJi said simply. "And if you want to, don’t fight it.”
The doctor huffed dramatically, like a child being told to nap when they had no desire to. Though logically he knew he needed the sleep, he couldn't help but feel guilty. There was so much to do, as always, and he always used the weekends as catch-up days for the work he couldn't finish during the week, or days to get ahead so he could relax...when? When had he ever taken the opportunity to relax ever? Realistically, most of his projects at the moment were upgrades for Lan WangJi's body, hence the reason why he was always obsessively working. But if Lan WangJi himself was telling him it was okay to rest, perhaps it really was? For once, maybe it was alright to listen to what his body was telling him, to just stay in the soft pajamas Lan WangJi had lent him, hang out in bed and be quiet for once.
Still, as always, his mind was racing, and if he didn’t find something to stimulate it, he'd go crazy.
He turned his face towards Lan WangJi, reaching over and lazily tapping at his arm, before he said, “Want to watch a movie or something? While we eat dinner tonight?”
It was only out of incredible self-discipline that Lan WangJi didn't shout to the heavens in excitement, because that sounded exactly like what two people on a date would do. He knew Wei WuXian didn't mean it that way though, so he kept his mouth shut and his expression level. However, it didn't stop the confetti canons from going off in his head or his forehead from flashing bright yellow several times. When he answered, “Mn. What do you want to watch?” his voice was extremely calm, and he gave himself a mental pat on the back.
“How much would you kill me if I said I wanted to watch Titanic?" he asked. "I mean, I know everyone’s seen it, but it’s a classic for a reason! It’s been years since I’ve sat down and watched it, and it’s my favorite. I know, I know, says a lot about me, doesn’t it?”
"I haven't seen it," Lan WangJi admitted.
Wei WuXian shot straight up, gasping as if his friend had just admitted to a murder. He looked like he was about to combust on the spot, gesturing frantically and sputtering, “You- are you- oh my God, don’t even talk to me until we finish watching it then. Here,” he sat up and started pushing Lan WangJi off the bed, “hurry, go and make dinner, I’m going to find it. Lan Zhan how have you lived for this long without having seen the greatest movie of all time, what the fuck.”
Lan WangJi didn’t resist, allowing himself to be shoved until he stood up and said with amusement, “Alright then.”
“I said don’t talk to me!” Wei WuXian repeated. “Go get dinner, shoo shoo!”
Lan WangJi ducked his head as he left the room, trying to hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth.
A little while later found them both seated on the couch, laptop on a bench while Wei WuXian’s dinner rested in his lap. They were both very focused on the movie, Wei WuXian more so, offering commentary every once in a while that Lan WangJi couldn’t help but feel he’d repeated many times to other unsuspecting victims he roped into seeing this with him. It was getting to the point that he was hardly touching his food, leading Lan WangJi to prompt him with, “Finish your dinner.”
“But most of it’s gone already,” Wei WuXian insisted.
“Well, you need to finish all of it. Don’t be wasteful.”
“You are such a bully,” he grumbled, even as he started shoveling more bites into his mouth.
When the food was gone, Lan WangJi put their plates away and came back to sit on the couch, thankful that his joints were artificial now and couldn’t get stiff from sitting still for so long. He’d heard this movie was long, but he wasn’t prepared for just how long. However, the running time turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because as time wore on, Wei WuXian started moving closer and closer to him on the couch until their thighs touched. Lan WangJi made sure to sit completely still; he could feel the tension in the other man’s body, and he was afraid if he moved, he’d bolt.
He wasn’t far off the mark. Though Wei WuXian kept babbling commentary, it was all to cover up how nervous he suddenly felt. This close to Lan WangJi, the urge to drape himself over him and hug him was strong, but he was afraid if he did any of that, he would push him away despite what he’d promised. He was used to being rejected in that manner, sure, but the idea of being rejected by Lan WangJi, for some reason…
He shook his head, trying to push away that self-doubt. He’d never know unless he tried, and after Lan WangJi had said- yes, of course. It would be okay.
Slowly, he started testing the waters. When Lan WangJi didn't push him off, Wei WuXian leaned over and laid his head on his shoulder, trying to be as nonchalant as possible about it while secretly his heart pounded with nerves. Lan WangJi felt his tension, felt the stiffness of his frame as he braced himself for rejection, and it was very hard to keep his own body relaxed. He didn't want to give off any signals that could possibly be interpreted as him not wanting the other man there. Thankfully, his forehead light did the talking for him, lighting up a soft pink at the contact. Wei WuXian flicked his eyes up towards it and then hastily looked away, reassured.
Later, when the movie was halfway over and Wei WuXian was reclining on the couch with his legs draped over his friend's lap, he said, "This is super nice. You're so good to me, Lan Zhan. It’s only Wen Ning and my sister that let me be this touchy. Nie Huaisang sometimes too, but only if he’s in the right mood. He’s let me use his butt as a pillow before, for example.”
Lan WangJi looked away from the laptop and at Wei WuXian's face, asking, "Is that so?"
"Oh yeah. When you've hung out with the same people for long enough, you start to not care about things like that." He gave Lan WangJi a very serious look. "But you have to let me know if I’m making you uncomfortable, okay? I don’t have a lot of boundaries when it comes to touch, so say if you want to use my butt as a pillow, I’m cool with that, but I know not everyone is like me.”
“I am not uncomfortable. Wei Ying can touch me however he wants," the other man said sincerely.
Lan WangJi tried his hardest to convey with his intense stare exactly what he meant by those words, praying Wei WuXian would pick up on it. But of course, naturally, the other man seemed as oblivious as ever, shrugging his shoulders and replying easily, "Okay, if you say so," causing Lan WangJi to die a little inside.
Thanks to yet another heavy dinner, Wei WuXian didn't make it to the end of the movie. At some point, he laid his head in Lan WangJi's lap, and though Lan WangJi tried to keep his attention on the movie, it kept getting drawn downward, watching as Wei WuXian's eyes grew heavier and heavier. He kept talking though, valiantly trying to keep himself awake.
"If you are tired, sleep," Lan WangJi told him gently.
"M'fine," Wei WuXian mumbled. "Not tired. Just resting my eyes. I gotta see your reaction to the whole thing."
"Sure," he replied, forehead flickering between yellow and pink.
Just as the action was peaking however, Lan WangJi heard a few soft snores in between all the explosions and the shouts in the movie. He looked down to see that yes, Wei WuXian was out cold, his head heavy against Lan WangJi's thighs. He sighed fondly and carefully leaned over to shut the movie off, figuring they could pick up where they left off another time, before he sat back in his seat, his gaze once again drawn to Wei WuXian like a magnet.
He just couldn't get over how precious he looked. Lan WangJi felt as if he was witnessing something rare, something few people ever got to see, and the weight of the privilege of being able to lay eyes on such a thing was not lost on him. How many people did Wei WuXian feel comfortable enough around to let his guard down like this? From what Lan WangJi had observed, only people he was very close to. And now, miraculously, he had deemed Lan WangJi worthy enough to be part of that very special group.
Absently, Lan WangJi started stroking his friend's hair, keeping his touch gentle despite how tense he felt. He wanted so badly to reveal his feelings, but he didn't know how to go about it. Telling him was obviously out; he was terrible with words anyway, always had been. It would be wiser to show Wei WuXian his intentions. Though, he was already doing that. After all, how many friends cooked for each other and shared a bed? He had to figure it out at some point, right?
Lan WangJi glanced at the time on the laptop and saw that it was nearly eleven. No wonder his eyes were starting to burn. He shook his head and blinked heavily, recalling what Wei WuXian had told him some weeks ago about the reason his eyes did this. "I installed a neural connection at the corner of your eyes that send pain signals when you’ve been awake too long so that it reminds you to sleep, since a fatigue signal would be a bit harder to interpret now outside of brain-related stuff.” Well, that was enough of an excuse for him to call it a day.
Carefully, he slid his arms under Wei WuXian's body, before lifting him up, one arm under his knees and the other behind his shoulders. He didn't move, didn't even twitch as Lan WangJi carried him to bed. It was only when he was laid on the sheets and Lan WangJi let go of him that he started to whine unhappily, his face scrunching up and his head turning restlessly to one side. He calmed down only when he felt the bed shift as Lan WangJi crawled in next to him, where he wasted no time, not even waiting for the other man to get settled, before he rolled over and glued himself to his side. Lan WangJi huffed a laugh as Wei WuXian wound his arms around him and shoved his face in his neck, leaving no daylight between their bodies. It was only when Wei WuXian registered his scent and the white noise that his body produced that he relaxed again, feeling safe enough to do so.
Lan WangJi could only just barely lay his head down against his pillow, as Wei WuXian had just about shoved his whole head in the crook of his neck, and he wondered how the other man could possibly feel comfortable like that when it had to be difficult for him to breathe. It was just a brief thought though, because soon he was distracted by the fact that he could feel Wei WuXian’s rhythmic, warm breaths against his neck, and it became all he could focus on. Butterflies exploded in his stomach, and Lan WangJi froze, afraid if he moved that the moment would shatter.
To make matters worse, this close, he could smell Wei WuXian, and what was there made heat wash down his spine; Wei WuXian smelled like sandalwood, like him. The smell was on his skin, in his hair. Lan WangJi shivered.
He’s wearing my clothes, he thought as he carefully laid his head down on the pillow, completely covering Wei WuXian’s face in the process, he smells like me, he’s in my bed, and he has food I made him in his belly. I’m all around him, a part of him, and he’s becoming part of me. Wei Ying, let me take care you. I’d protect you from whatever you were scared of, be whatever you want me to be for you. I’d be your oasis in a world that is so harsh on you. I want to spend my life with you, learn something new about you each day, bask in the light that emanates from you whenever you share something that you’re passionate about. Even if the world was to turn against you, I'll stand by your side. I want to say all of these things to you, but why is it so hard?
He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him impossibly closer, an almost desperate affection welling up in him. There were so many things Lan WangJi wanted, which was unusual in and of itself. He was taught never to desire something in excess, and especially never to voice those desires out loud, and in the end, he was sure that was what kept him silent about his true intentions. Yet, he couldn’t help it; the dam had burst, and all he could do was want, want him, and it wasn’t fair that Wei WuXian was so close and yet so far away.
As he lay there in the quiet darkness, he realized with a heavy heart that he might be in over his head with this, and as much as he hated to say it, he had to admit to himself that he was going to need outside help. Otherwise, he would never know peace. The old Lan WangJi might have kept quiet, but Lan WangJi was quite literally a different person now, made out of tougher material. He could afford to take some chances because he knew he would be able to withstand the resulting blows.
The next morning found Lan XiChen still in bed, propping himself up with one elbow and fixing his phone with a hard stare as he reread Lan WangJi’s text over and over, trying to figure out how he should reply. Part of him wanted to say, “It’s seven in the morning, I’m far too tired to be analyzing anything this difficult right now,” but he was a good brother and loved Lan WangJi very much, so he refrained.
He must have been sitting there and thinking for longer than he thought, because soon he felt Nie Mingjue stir behind him, the blankets rustling as he shifted. Once he groaned and stretched, he scooted closer to Lan XiChen, before brushing his long hair away from his nape and lazily trailing kisses down the skin there.
“Surprised you’re still in bed,” Nie Mingjue said in a gruff, morning voice. “This is nice. You didn’t bother getting dressed either last night. You trying to tell me something?”
However, Lan XiChen didn’t respond beyond shivering at the ticklish sensation of his lips brushing over his skin, at least not until Nie Mingjue started stroking over his ribs and down his waist, skimming his palm over his hips. Before he could reach his goal, Lan XiChen said, “Can I ask you something? About Wei WuXian?”
Nie Mingjue froze, halting his ministrations, and then sighed, laying his forehead on Lan XiChen’s waist before he grumbled, voice muffled, “Sure, why not, I was only at half-mast anyway, might as well kill my boner the rest of the way.”
“Well, more specifically, it’s about my brother and Wei WuXian.”
“Aaaaand there it goes, now it’s super dead.”
“Mingjue, I’m serious. I’m worried about WangJi. I’ve never seen him like this before and I’ve been laying here for the past hour wondering what to tell him.”
Hearing how worried he sounded, Nie Mingjue sobered up, focused and got more comfortable, before he said, “Alright. What’s going on?”
A little line appeared between Lan XiChen’s brows and he pursed his lips together, before explaining, “He just sent me a text this morning saying that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with Wei WuXian. He doesn’t know what to do next, and I usually always have the answers for him with stuff, but at this point I’m stumped. My brother has never so much as liked someone before, let alone been in love. My first impulse is to say ‘So tell him’ but I know WangJi wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. He doesn’t like to say much, if you haven’t noticed, and I know he’s scared of making Wei WuXian uncomfortable. But you’ve worked with Wei WuXian for years. What do you think he should do?”
Reluctantly, Nie Mingjue had a think about it-the things he did for love-and finally said slowly, "Wei WuXian is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met...when it comes to work. The problem is when it has to do with romance, he’s excruciatingly stupid. Your brother has his work cut out for him. Wei WuXian is the kind of person where he's the last to know he’s in love with someone. I heard that when he saw Lan WangJi’s forehead turning pink so much around him, he thought it was broken. That's the level of stupidity we're dealing with here. The literal scientific evidence was right in front of him, and he still didn’t believe it.”
Lan XiChen leaned back on his elbows so he could look at him more easily and asked, "What does the pink light mean?"
“Oxytocin," he answered, "The bonding hormone, you know? It’s what fills your brain when you hug a friend, pet an animal, or when you see someone you love. And almost every time I enter a room with those two in it, and they’re alone, Lan WangJi’s forehead is always bright ass pink. But the problem is, even if he told Wei WuXian, I’m not sure he'd would believe him. The guy has terrible self-esteem. He might have to wait until Wei WuXian realizes he likes him too.”
Lan XiChen blinked at him in surprise. "Wait, he likes WangJi?"
“Oh yeah. I’ve never seen him smile so sincerely around someone so much before. It seems like his smiles are always forced, but they never are with your brother. And he never gets tired of his company. The guy may be an extravert, but I know he has his limits, and after a while, he has to be by himself. But that’s never the case with Lan WangJi. He likes him, trust me.”
His shoulders drooped as he breathed a sigh of relief, and Lan XiChen said, "Alright, I'll tell him that."
He rolled over and quickly sent his brother a text, thumbs typing furiously on the phone. He had brightened up considerably, which was why when he put his phone back on the nightstand, Nie Mingjue felt comfortable in saying, "So...would you be okay with me picking up where I left off?"
Lan XiChen breathed a laugh through his nose, before turning over to face him, running a hand down his shoulder with a coy smile. “Fine, I guess you can. Here, I’m the one responsible for your boner’s death, so perhaps you'll allow me to bring it back to life?”
Nie Mingjue smiled. "Hell yeah. You'll be like a sexy boner necromancer."
His partner threw his head back and laughed right out loud.
Later that same day in the lab found Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi still in bed finishing up Titanic, the former immensely embarrassed that he managed to fall asleep before it finished. However, when it ended, Lan WangJi was left with a strange sort of melancholy that was only partially to do with how much the movie had managed to destroy him. Wei WuXian, who had been laying with his head on his shoulder, happened to peek up at him, smiling lips parted, ready to tease him. However, when he noticed the genuine distress on Lan WangJi's face, saw how his forehead was aqua, his smile vanished. Concerned, he asked, "Is something wrong?"
Lan WangJi glanced down at him briefly before averting his eyes, fixing the wall with his stare. Wei WuXian sat up, and repeated, "Lan Zhan? Are you okay?"
After several beats of silence, the other man said, "It's silly."
"I'm sure it's not," Wei WuXian insisted. "Come on now, you can tell me anything. If I can help, I will. I don't like seeing you sad."
Lan WangJi sighed heavily, before finally admitting, "I am foolish."
"How so?"
"Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I...am not happy with how I look."
"..."
"Wei Ying is not at fault. I am."
Wei WuXian stared at him uncomprehendingly, trying to figure out exactly what he was on about. He wanted to ask him to elaborate further, but Lan WangJi didn't look like he wanted to say anything more. Wei WuXian puzzled for a bit longer, before comprehension dawned. "You're still adjusting to your new appearance."
Lan WangJi didn't answer, but his forehead flashed from aqua to dark green, reflecting his shame. And since he was feeling so vividly ashamed, Wei WuXian figured he'd gotten it right.
Of course, as he said before, Lan WangJi felt stupid for experiencing these emotions. It had been several months already, and he was adjusted to this body in just about every other way possible. Why couldn't he adjust in this way too? Why were there some days he feels hideous, less than human, despite the fact that Wei WuXian and several others did their best to remind him that he was?
Wei WuXian had to be angry with him now. After all, he was the one who had designed his body, had given him this appearance. Yet, when he looked over at him, Lan WangJi didn't see that reflected on his face. Instead, he appeared to be thinking very hard, chewing on his lip in concentration while his eyes narrowed determinedly. Eventually, his eyes brightened, and he sat up straighter, turning towards Lan WangJi with a grin and saying, “Here, you want to feel pretty?"
He padded out of the bedroom, Lan WangJi watching the doorway curiously. He heard some rustling coming from somewhere in the front of the lab, before Wei WuXian returned, holding a small box. He placed the box on the nightstand, a teasing grin on his face, before he went over to Lan WangJi’s vanity and started digging around for a few brushes in the drawers.
When he came back with the combs, he said, “Sit on the edge of the bed for me”
Lan WangJi obeyed, scooting back and folding his legs in front of him. However, it was only when Wei WuXian started running the brush through it that he asked, “You’re going to do my hair?”
“Yeah!” he answered happily. “I know some really fancy hair styles. When Yanli was younger, she broke her arm and had trouble doing her hair for a while, so I looked up tutorials online and did it for her. I got pretty good at it! When Jin Ling was younger, I’d do his hair too, until he turned ten and decided he was too cool to let his uncle do his hair for him anymore. So…I know it isn’t much, but it’s all I could think of.”
Of course he had to put himself down like that. Of course. Before he could say anymore, Lan WangJi quickly told him, “I appreciate it. Truly.”
“I’m glad,” Wei WuXian replied, and he could hear the smile in his voice. “Everyone deserves to feel pretty. Even big, intimidating borgs like you, yeah?”
Lan WangJi nodded firmly. “Mn.”
He sat as still as he could, his insides growing warmer and warmer as time drew on. Wei WuXian was very careful to make sure all of the tangles were brushed through, and he patiently ran that brush through Lan WangJi’s long hair from his scalp all the way to the end without complaint.
“What made you want to grow out your hair?” Wei WuXian found himself asking.
“Tradition,” Lan WangJi replied simply.
“Ah, I guess that makes sense. Both you and your brother have long hair. I guess your uncle does too then?”
“Mn.” Wei WuXian happened to glance at his profile, and from what he could see, he was frowning. He added in a quiet voice, “My arthritis made that difficult as well. Long hair was heavy for my neck, and made it ache. It was difficult to thread through hair ties when I’d pull it back. Many times, I would have to ask my uncle or my brother to do it. It was when I was asking Sizhui to help me with it that I thought about cutting it.”
Wei WuXian paused in his ministrations, staring at him sadly. “Lan Zhan…”
“He cried when I suggested it though because he knew how important long hair was to our family. So I kept it because I didn’t want to make him sad.” He turned his head slightly so he could look at the other man out of the corner of his eye. “What about Wei Ying?”
“Me? Oh.” Wei WuXian shrugged. “I just like how it looks, like I’m an ancient god or something. Plus, it allows for dramatic hair flips, or sexy blowing in the wind. Of course, it’s less sexy when it gets stuck in your mouth or you lay on it and can’t lift your head up.”
“Indeed.”
“Plus, having long hair means you can do more interesting things with it. Like this.”
Several twists, bobby pins and tugs of his hair later, Wei WuXian finally produced a hair tie that he used to hold back the top half of Lan WangJi’s hair. When it didn’t fall out even after he let go, he grinned triumphantly and reached over for the box he had placed on the nightstand, saying, “And now for the finishing touch. Something else I picked up while I was out. I saw it and thought of you immediately.”
He opened the box, and Lan WangJi turned his head to see what was inside. His breath caught in his throat when a large, silver hair clip was revealed to him in the shape of the moon. Long tassels hung from the end of it that he couldn’t help but brush his fingers over. When he pulled his hand back and allowed them to swing back and forth, they produced a lovely tinkling sound. He glanced up at Wei WuXian, lips parted in awe.
“Wei Ying,” he breathed. He had no idea what this feeling was that had made his lungs seize in this manner, but he felt as if he were about to explode with it. It was too big for his body to contain, too big for him to put words to, so he just sat there, staring up at the other man helplessly while his forehead flickered a myriad of colors.
Wei WuXian’s heart quickened when he saw that expression, though he had no idea why, and found that he couldn’t look at it for too long. So, quickly, he grabbed a couple of small mirrors, gave one to Lan WangJi, while he held up the other. Lan WangJi looked up into the mirrors and sucked in a quiet breath when he saw the masterpiece that Wei WuXian had created. He had pulled his hair back into a half updo, but instead of just tying it off, he had woven the hair into a heart. The moon had had been clipped to the hair tie, which sat just under the heart, the tassels shining brightly against his dark hair.
Lan WangJi never wanted to touch his hair again.
“I…” he fumbled. Nothing seemed adequate enough, important enough to convey what he wanted to. All he could settle on was a soft, reverent, “Thank you.”
Wei WuXian waved him off. “It wasn’t any trouble. I like doing people’s hair! So any time you want a makeover, you let me”-
“I mean it. Thank you.”
Wei WuXian paused, looking at the other man’s reflection in the mirror. His eyes were very intense, focused on him in a way they never had before, as if they were trying to say something that Lan WangJi couldn’t force past his lips.
Without Wei Ying, I’d be lost. He always helps me find my way, and answers to questions I haven’t even asked yet. I want to stay by his side, if he’ll let me. He means more to me than he’ll ever know.
His breath left him in a quiet rush, as if someone had forced it from his lungs. No, this was…but there was no mistake. Lan WangJi was looking at him. His forehead was shining a soft pink for him. There were no distractions, no other possible explanations. Nothing was broken. No one else was in the room. It was just them and Wei WuXian’s own terrible, wonderful realization that rose up and crashed over his head.
Lan WangJi’s feelings for him hadn’t faded. Not only that, but they had deepened. He was in love with Wei WuXian and he meant it.
Notes:
All I can say is I had a friend who had that same exact reaction when I said I hadn't seen Titanic, and LWJ's struggle with his RA and his long hair was mine and the reason I had to cut my hair short. I miss the long hair :'D But this chapter was a shameless excuse to write more cuddles, I know I'm disgusting xD
Joshua says: "Greetings! Please refrain from throwing culinary wares after reading that cliffhanger! I swear we will make up for it next chapter :' D , I hope you guys enjoys this extremely soft chapter filled with feelings and Wangxian starting to be on the same page, FINALLY. Of course the sidedish of Nielan is a delicacy and can be enjoyed on delivery or take-out!"
Chapter 16: I Am Not Lost Anymore
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Despite the fact that there was almost no one in Lanling Jin except for a few janitors, Wei WuXian still found himself tip-toeing, stopping and looking around corners to make sure the hallways were empty before he proceeded further. Every time he spotted someone, he’d hide himself behind a door or a pillar, waiting until their footsteps faded away before breathing a sigh of relief.
He had just about made it to the front foyer and was about to make a dash for the doors, before he was stopped by a voice behind him asking, “Where are you going?”
Wei WuXian shrieked and jumped a foot in the air. He spun around with a hand on his chest to see Wen Qing standing there, her arms folded and an eyebrow raised suspiciously at him. After taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, he answered shortly, “Home.”
Her expression morphed into one of vaguely horrified concern and she walked over to him, laying the back of her hand on his forehead, rattling off questions rapid fire. “Are you feeling okay? You’re not sick, are you? Is someone in your family sick? Is there someone in the hospital?”
Wei WuXian waved his hands in front of him. “Oh no no, everything’s fine, I just, it’s been a while since I’ve been home, and there’s a lot I have to catch up on. Figure there’s no time like the present, right? I’ll be back in the morning before you have time to miss me. Okay? Okay bye.”
“Wei WuXian”-
But he was racing out of the building and letting the doors slam behind him before she could say anything else, leaving her to shake her head in confusion. She made a mental note to talk to either Lan WangJi or Jiang Cheng later to see if they knew what was going on.
However, it turned out she didn’t need to seek Lan WangJi out, because on her way back to her own office, she saw him walking down the hall. So, she made a move to stop him, but before she could say anything, Lan WangJi halted beside her and asked, “Have you seen Wei Ying? It’s dinnertime.”
Wen Qing blinked at him a few times, trying to process what he had said. Immediately, she felt her heart lift when she saw just how dedicated he was to making sure that Wei WuXian ate regularly. Yet, it dropped a second later when she registered the first part of his statement. Did that mean he didn’t know what was going on with Wei WuXian either?
“Yeah, he just left,” she answered.
Lan WangJi’s eyes widened in shock. His expression then melted into something deeper, as if he had sunk into his own thoughts, and based on how quickly his forehead light was flickering between colors, those thoughts didn’t appear to be pleasant ones. He looked...hurt.
“Is everything okay?” Wen Qing found herself asking. “Did you two have a fight?”
He didn’t answer her, instead walking over to the window at the end of the hallway that overlooked the parking lot. Even from here, she could see his whole frame visibly deflate. Wei WuXian’s car was gone. He…had really left.
He lingered at the window for a moment more, hoping that he just missed Wei WuXian's car among all the others. But when it became clear that wasn't the case, he slowly turned away and walked back the way he came, vaguely hearing Wen Qing call his name behind him. He felt numb, though he wasn't sure why. There was nothing inherently wrong with Wei WuXian going home. It was a thing he was entitled to do; it was more unusual that he spent so much time in Lanling Jin. He wasn't obligated to be here just because Lan WangJi was.
So why couldn't he shake the sudden wave of anxiety that had washed over him?
He passed by the kitchen, realizing he wasn't going to have to spend any time in it tonight. It wasn't that late, but he suddenly wanted nothing more than to go to bed, all of his energy draining from him. However, when he made it back to his room and opened the door, he paused. The emptiness of his own bed, the blankets still mussed, hit him like a physical blow. And when he recovered from that and put his pajamas on, he felt deeply unsettled, but couldn't put his finger on it as to why until he crawled into bed.
There was no radio blaring or off-key singing coming from the lab.
Despite the fact that all he wanted to do was go to sleep, Lan WangJi found that he couldn't relax. He tossed and turned for over an hour, a headache slowly developing behind his eyes, before he admitted defeat with a heavy sigh. It was no use. Without Wei WuXian here, there was no way he was going to be able to sleep tonight.
He stared at the other side of the bed mournfully. He’d liked having Wei WuXian stay with him because he knew that if he was with him, he was safe, resting, and well fed. Had he eaten tonight? Probably not. Lan WangJi made a mental note to make a larger breakfast to make up for it. Was he resting? More than likely not. That meant he would be exhausted. Perhaps he would be able to convince him to take a nap after lunch tomorrow?
Lan WangJi placed his hand on top of the empty space beside him, staring at nothing while his mind spun in circles, going over and over every single interaction he and Wei WuXian had had that day. What had he done wrong? Had he said something out of line? He had been so careful in trying to make sure he wasn’t making Wei WuXian uncomfortable while also subtly showing him how he felt about him. He also tried to show him that it was okay to let his defenses down around Lan WangJi, that he and his room could be the safe place Wei WuXian clearly needed to be himself.
Unless, Lan WangJi thought with horror, he had been reading this all wrong and Wei WuXian didn’t return his feelings?
No, that couldn’t be it. He had been so sure Wei WuXian felt something for him. Why else would he spend so much time with Lan WangJi, or try so hard to get his attention, and allow him to call him by his birth name? Why would he listen to him when Lan WangJi told him what to do, or feel comfortable enough to share his bed? Why would he buy him so many things, or offer to help his son through college?
Then again, Wei WuXian was just that nice of a person, so it wouldn’t be out of character for him to do things like that out of the kindness of his heart. It didn’t mean anything…deeper, necessarily.
Lan WangJi clenched his hand laying atop the sheets into a fist. Maybe Wei WuXian figured him out, figured out he has feelings for him, and didn’t return them. Was that why he had gone home? Because he was so scared and uncomfortable at the idea?
He gritted his teeth, his forehead flashing green and red in equal measures. His chest felt tight, and his expression pinched with distress. Now he really couldn’t sleep, suddenly terrified at the thought that he had made Wei WuXian uncomfortable in any way. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he have just pushed his feelings down? Why did he have to go and ruin what he had?
Lan WangJi suddenly felt his blood turn to ice. What if he had made Wei WuXian feel so uncomfortable that he didn’t want to be his friend anymore? What if he didn’t want anything to do with Lan WangJi anymore? His thoughts began to spiral as he imagined Wei WuXian moving his lab to the other end of Lanling Jin, or leaving the facility altogether to work somewhere else. Lan WangJi exhaled sharply, as if someone had punched him in the stomach, and he couldn’t draw in a breath again. His head ached, and if he could, he would have started sweating as panic set in; he could deal with Wei WuXian not returning his feelings, but what he couldn’t deal with was Wei WuXian disappearing from his life altogether.
He knew deep down that if Wei WuXian left, he wouldn’t be alone. He’d still have his family, the other doctors that took care of him, and Wen Ning. But Wei WuXian had become integral to his happiness at Lanling Jin and his ability to tolerate not being able to go back home and live a normal life again. The thought of being able to see his smiling face every day was what got Lan WangJi out of bed, and the thought of helping him when he so clearly needed it was what gave Lan WangJi a sense of purpose in his new life. Without that, he felt lost and empty, seeing nothing but darkness in his path where it had once been illuminated by the sun.
His throat burned, despite the fact that he no longer had the ability to cry. Though in that moment, he wished he could. His forehead turned aqua, and his lower lip trembled, his body going through the motions without being able to find release. Frustrated and anxious, he reached over and grabbed his stuffed rabbit, before holding it tight to his chest. He just needed something to hold onto that would ground him so that he wouldn’t float away in a cloud of uncontrollable emotion.
Maybe he had been deluded enough to think Wei WuXian might possibly return his feelings, especially when there were hundreds of reasons why he wouldn’t. First and foremost, he was a former patient, no matter how much Lan WangJi tried to convince himself that their relationship was much different now that they were friends. He was also very boring, and he’d be the first to admit that. During his first and only date, that person had told him so, but so had many others, from classmates, to members of his own family, to coworkers. He didn’t have much to offer Wei WuXian either, considering unlike his family, he wasn’t very wealthy. But most of all, as much as much as he tried to deny it every time the thought reared its ugly head, he knew he wasn’t technically, completely, human anymore.
He squeezed the rabbit tighter. He knew that Wei WuXian, his friends and family had never treated him as anything less than human, and that they’d always stood up for him, but Lan WangJi wasn’t stupid. He was human shaped, but he was no longer made out of flesh and bone. He didn’t have a heartbeat that signaled that he was alive, but the sound of motors and fans. Without the artificial core keeping him warm, he’d be freezing cold to the touch. He hardly even had any skin, most of his metal parts exposed to the air when he didn’t wear clothes. Who would be attracted to this? Certainly not someone as beautiful as Wei WuXian. In fact, a better question would be why would Wei WuXian share his feelings?
It’s okay, Lan WangJi told himself. It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s nothing I didn’t expect. I knew this was coming. So why does it still hurt?
He couldn’t answer that question. Nor could he answer the dozens of others that were buzzing around in his head. Safe to say, Lan WangJi didn’t get any sleep that night, and could only lie there helplessly in the dark, watching as his digital clock ticked on and on, counting the minutes he spent trying to come to a conclusion, any conclusion that would ease the pain. However, the only thing he could think to do that would help even the slightest bit was to bury his nose in the side of his pillow that still smelled like Wei WuXian.
His throat burned once more, and now so did his eyes. But no tears ever wet his pillow.
Fortunately, during the early hours of the morning, Lan WangJi managed to doze for a little while, enough so that the worst of his panic and paranoia ebbed away. As he slowly dragged himself out of bed, he resolved that if he saw Wei WuXian today, he would apologize all over the place for his behavior, and for assuming things that weren’t there. He do could that, he told himself. That would be no problem.
And yet, even after all he had been through the night before, some stupid, tiny part of him still clung to hope. After all, Wei WuXian hadn’t outright said he didn’t like him. It was all speculation on Lan WangJi’s part. Maybe everything really was okay between them and Lan WangJi had just been overthinking things. Maybe…he hadn’t done anything wrong.
He perked up the minute he heard Wei WuXian’s distinctive footsteps coming down the hallways, turning around from what he was doing to face the doorway to the lab. However, the instant Wei WuXian entered and threw his things heavily onto the floor before looking up at him, Lan WangJi could tell last night hadn’t been a pleasant one for the other man either. He looked positively exhausted, the shadows under his eyes dark and his face very pale. There was stubble growing on his chin and over his upper lip, and when he walked, Lan WangJi could tell that his back was killing him. His hands shook to the point where he balled them into fists at his side, no doubt a side effect from an unholy amount of caffeine that he had drank that morning in an effort to keep himself awake. It was just like before, and Lan WangJi started panicking, but this time for a whole new reason. He forgot about his own worries and approached Wei WuXian, his forehead lighting up green. Wei WuXian glanced up at him with bloodshot eyes, and before he could stop himself, Lan WangJi started fussing over him.
“You look tired,” he said gently, brushing some of the other man’s hair out of his eyes.
Wei WuXian smirked in amusement. “Gee, thanks.”
Lan WangJi paid no attention to the sarcasm. Instead, he fixed some of the buttons on Wei WuXian’s shirt, which had been buttoned incorrectly, and straightened his lab coat on his shoulders. “During your lunch break today, why don’t you nap? You can come in here. I’ll make sure no one bothers you. You need to sleep for eight hours every night. Wen Qing said so.”
Wei WuXian’s face fell; he could hear the concern in the other man’s voice, and it broke his heart. A small part of him wanted to take him up on his offer; he knew the second the caffeine wore off, he’d probably pass out. Instead though, he shook his head and told him, “I’m fine, Lan Zhan. I promise I got enough sleep last night to make it through the day. It’ll be okay.”
He offered Lan WangJi an appeasing nod, before he quickly brushed past him, leaving Lan WangJi to watch his retreating back. He tentatively raised a hand, trying to reach out for him, but then thought better of it and let it fall back to his side.
Lan WangJi wasn’t stupid, of course. He knew things weren’t okay, either between them or in general with Wei WuXian. It was obvious in the way that he went out of his way to avoid Lan WangJi for the rest of that day, no matter how much he tried to get his attention. Wei WuXian would always find some excuse to do something either in the far corner of his lab. The next day, he was hardly in his lab at all, not even stopping by unless he was sure Lan WangJi wasn’t going to be there. He split his time between Wen Qing’s office, the front foyer, and Jiang Cheng’s lab, keeping his nose buried in his work and firmly ignoring everyone’s confused stares.
And the worst part was, he knew he was being a coward avoiding Lan WangJi like this. He knew he was. But his mind had turned into a mangled mess of knots he didn’t want to sort out, too afraid to see what he would find when he did. So, he did the only thing he knew how to do to distract himself: work.
However, he should have known that they wouldn’t be able to keep their noses out of his business forever. It was Jiang Cheng who first spoke up, unable to handle the uncharacteristic silence. Wei WuXian had sequestered himself off in a little corner of Jiang Cheng’s lab that was hardly accommodating to his workload, and he seeing him struggle and mumble to himself for so long was driving the other man crazy. He got up from his work station, carrying over an optical implant that wasn’t behaving the way he wanted it to and placing it in front of Wei WuXian. His brother jumped in surprise, looking down first at the implant, then at Jiang Cheng, before he made the connection.
Still, Jiang Cheng spelled it out for him. “This needs some corrections made to it. I’m sure you’ll be able to find out what they are faster than I’d be able to explain them to you.”
Wei WuXian said nothing in response. He just took the implant and placed it in one corner of his work station among a growing collection of odds and ends that Jiang Cheng suspected here projects that he was currently working on. Funny enough, that pile appeared to grow by the day rather than shrink. That, combined with the lack of quip that he always had at the ready when talking with him made Jiang Cheng observed, “Hmm, I think someone’s wallowing.”
Wei WuXian didn’t look up from his work, grumbling, “I’m not wallowing.”
His brother glanced up at his radio, which of course had followed him in here. For once, the volume was low, but he could still see what he was listening to on account of the fact that the title kept scrolling by on the small screen. He raised an eyebrow at him, “You’ve got the Chinese cover of ‘My Heart Will Go On” playing. The only other times I’ve heard you play this song is when you were trying to make yourself cry. So, what’s the problem?”
Wei WuXian reached up and turned the radio up a little louder. Jiang Cheng made an exasperated sound and rolled his eyes towards the heavens, before he said, “This has to do with Lan WangJi, doesn’t it?”
“No,” the other man responded quickly. A little too quickly.
“Bullshit,” Jiang Cheng stated flatly.
“How so?”
“I’ll tell you how. I saw him wandering around the building yesterday and today looking like a child that lost his mother in a mall. He looks fucking miserable and exhausted and so do you. Not that I care what happened, but when you mope around it gets annoying. Even more annoying is when you haven’t slept for a long time, then you start to get bitchy, and I can hardly stand myself when I get bitchy. I don’t want to have to deal with you too.”
Wei WuXian finally tossed down his tools with a loud clatter, snapping, “Cool, thanks, you’re a big help. But nothing’s going on between me and Lan WangJi.”
“Riiiiight,” Jiang Cheng said slowly, “and I’m going to get married tomorrow and have a house full of kids next week.”
“Would you just go away? I have a lot of shit to get done before today is over.”
He shrugged. “Sure, just make sure you look over this implant by the end of the day.”
When Wei WuXian picked up his tools again and turned away from him-all the while of course never making any moves towards the implant-Jiang Cheng remained there, gazing at him critically. Wei WuXian felt his eyes burning holes into his lab coat, and he knew that the conversation was far from over.
His suspicions were confirmed when he heard Jiang Cheng tentatively say, “Listen, I know I’m the worst person in the world to be offering romantic advice. But… I know you, Wei WuXian. You get scared when you discover that others care about you as much as you care about them. Like you think you’re not worthy of that care or some shit. If Lan WangJi cares about you, don’t dig your heels in. Let it happen. You deserve it. You deserve someone nice. You deserve having someone love you like that.”
Wei WuXian stared at the wall in front of him for a long moment as he processed what he said, before he sighed heavily and replied, “Thanks mom, but I think I can figure out what I deserve, thank you. I’m smart enough to do that.”
Jiang Cheng puffed out his cheeks in a frustrated sigh, before he turned away and returned back to his own seat, grumbling to himself, “No you’re not.”
Once he heard his brother leave, Wei WuXian just sat there, staring at his hands, as if he could make them move again by doing so. However, Jiang Cheng’s words were buzzing through his head, preventing him from focusing on anything else. Everything blurred in front of him as he lost focus, turning those words over and over again. He knew his brother was right. But Wei WuXian also knew that he was terribly scared; scared of being rejected, scared of giving someone that chance to get close to him again and possibly hurt him. It wasn’t just those two dates that he knew were hardly a blip on his radar in the grand scheme of things, but past friends he’d had, and even his family, that had rejected him. He knew he should forgive and forget, but he was incapable of forgetting what had been said to him, their words of derision sticking to his mind and cutting him when he let his guard down. The conclusion he had come to over the years was that he was a bad person. And the problem was, being around Lan WangJi made him let his guard down. He made him believe that he was a good person.
He dug his fingers in his hair and gritted his teeth. That was dangerous. It threatened to knock down the walls he had spent all these years building up around himself. Jiang Cheng was wrong. He didn’t deserve to have someone to care about him, not when he had so many unresolved problems. Not when Lan WangJi was so beautiful and sweet and could have anyone he wanted. He deserved someone more stable, someone who didn’t need to be taken care of like an overgrown child. Someone less flawed. Someone kind and good like him who would help him grow rather than hold him back. And Wei WuXian could never be that. Any potential feelings he might have for the other man wouldn’t be able to change that.
Why would Lan WangJi want someone like him?
Later that afternoon, he went back into his own lab, wanting to be alone with his thoughts. However, it looked like today wasn’t going to be his day, because just a few minutes after he sat down and decided on a song he wanted to listen to, he heard metallic footsteps cross the threshold of his doorway. His heart hammered and his back went ramrod straight, but when he turned around, it was Wen Ning. He sighed in relief.
Before he could ask what he was doing there though, Wen Ning, upon realizing that he’d been spotted, picked up his pace, trotting over to his work bench. He was holding a small wooden box that he placed in front of him, and then backed up quickly, averting his eyes while his forehead turned green. He looked deeply uncomfortable, as if he was afraid he was going to be reprimanded for bringing him…whatever this was.
Wei WuXian looked between Wen Ning and the box, searching for some sort of explanation. But based on how Wen Ning was refusing to meet his eyes, he wasn’t going to get one. So, he turned back to the box and carefully opened it.
The first thing he noticed was that this was a lunch box, and a very nice one at that. It had three tiers, the kind where it had little shelves that slid out like drawers with enough space for a hefty helping of whatever one wanted to put in there. Under the top lid, he saw Lan Sizhui’s name written on an old, worn bunny sticker. His expression softened. So this must have been Lan WangJi’s son’s when he was in school.
Upon seeing that he wasn’t angry at receiving it, Wen Ning grew braver, taking a step towards Wei WuXian and explaining, “Lan WangJi saw that you weren’t at lunch, and he told me to bring this to you.”
Wei WuXian’s gaze grew distant then, and he slowly opened the lunchbox, as if in a daze. The smell of the food hit him an instant before the bright colors did, and as he shifted through each of the shelves, he saw that each one was filled to bursting with red, spicy things. Further down on the lower tiers, there were spicy things covered in glaze that Wei WuXian loved. Some of the food had even been shaped into bunnies.
His heart throbbed, and it took everything in his power not to reach up and clutch at his chest. Lan WangJi was just…
“He also said that I can’t leave until you eat it all,” Wen Ning added, wringing his hands.
Wei WuXian heard the sound of a chair scraping against the floor as it was pulled up, indicating that Wen Ning intended to go through with his orders and would sit and wait as long as he needed. However, he didn’t take his eyes off the food, like if he did, it might disappear into mist. Slowly, he picked up the chopsticks that had been placed inside the lunch box and grabbed his first bite. Once he placed it in his mouth, he went rigid, all of his muscles freezing in place. The only one he could move was his mouth as he slowly chewed.
It was so good.
He couldn’t take this. Lan WangJi was too good, too pure. He was still making him homemade lunches, even when Wei WuXian was being a total asshole and avoiding him the way he was. He swallowed, his mouthful tasting like glue, and leaned his forehead into his hand, his chopsticks hanging loosely from his fingers.
Though he couldn’t see his eyes, Wen Ning didn’t need to. Tears reflecting the light from his lamp cut through the shadows on the lower half of his face before they dripped off the end of his jaw and plipped onto the lunchbox.
That evening after everyone had gone home still found Wei WuXian holed up in his lab much in the same mood he’d been in all day. His mind wasn’t any closer to being calm, and he hadn’t made any progress on sorting out his chaotic thoughts revolving around Lan WangJi. Worse, they had multiplied. Every time he came to a roadblock in his head, he would manage to get around it, but the road he would travel down to lead to thoughts that were more self-deprecating than the ones before it, and he didn’t know how much more he could take of this.
He had to admit defeat when it became clear that working wasn’t distracting him anymore. Not even blasting his music was doing anything to drown out his thoughts, so he shut it off, allowing them to take over in hopes that he could at last sort through them.
First and foremost, Wei WuXian knew for a fact that he liked the idea of Lan WangJi having feelings for him. It didn’t make him uncomfortable at all. Quite the opposite. The more he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy of the them doing things like holding hands or cuddling or anything else couples typically did, the warmer and giddier it made him feel. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he had no idea why the other man felt something for him, of all people. And then his thoughts would spiral again into a tirade as to why he wasn’t good enough for Lan WangJi.
But that was his own generalization. Lan WangJi was an adult that was perfectly capable of making his own judgements about situations and people. If he somehow found Wei WuXian worthy or pursuing, wouldn’t it be rude and childish to essentially say, “I’m avoiding you because I don’t think you can make good choices about who you want to date”?
He drew his eyebrows together as anxiety clawed at his insides. He knew that the longer he put off saying something to Lan WangJi, the more the other man would worry and hurt, and the thought of him being in that kind of distress because of him made him feel so guilty he could hardly stand it.
How do I bring this up to him? Wei WuXian asked himself for the millionth time that hour, and of course, just like all those other times, he had no answers. Just more self-deprecating questions. He set down his tools and pushed himself away from his work bench, unable to keep up the pretense that he was working when he hadn’t done anything resembling work for the past thirty minutes.
What if everything was just a side effect of gratitude? he wondered as he stared at the ceiling. Maybe the water stains up there could help him figure this out. What if-
Suddenly, something broke through his thoughts. It began quietly, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if he was really hearing it or not. It was music, and it took Wei WuXian a few beats to realize that he knew this song. It was Then You Look At Me, one of his favorites. He sat up further in his chair, staring in the direction that the music was coming from. Pretty much everyone had gone home for the night, which meant that most of Lanling Jin was empty. So who…?
No, he knew, as nervous as the idea made him. Who else would still be here this late besides Wei WuXian?
When he found himself humming along to the song, he knew he had no chance of ignoring it and attempting to go back to his work. He smiled wryly to himself. That Lan WangJi. He knew him too well, knew exactly what to do lure Wei WuXian out of hiding. Like Wei WuXian was a timid, wild beast that needed to be soothed with gentle music before he could be convinced to leave his cave.
Accurate, based on past experience. The fact that Lan WangJi had paid so much attention to what made Wei WuXian tick made him want to tear up.
He stood up from his seat, removing his work goggles and placing them on his desk, deciding that putting up a fight against Lan WangJi’s siren song was hopeless. He left his lab and walked down the hallway as if the song was pulling him along like an eager puppy tugging on his clothes, absently trailing his hand over a banister as he trotted down a small set of stairs, until he was standing in the doorway of the physio room. As he had thought, it was only occupied by Lan WangJi, who had turned on the portable radio Wei WuXian had bought back when Wen Ning was always in here because he’d gotten sick of the quiet. However, the other man didn’t seem to notice he was there, so caught up in what he was doing, his eyes shut in calm concentration. From the way he was gliding across the floor in nothing but a pair of oversized sweatpants, it quickly became apparent that he was dancing.
Wei WuXian leaned against the doorframe, grinning to himself and crossing his arms. This was a moment of déjà vu if he’d ever encountered one.
He wondered if he’d an expression on his face similar to the one Lan WangJi had now back when the other man had caught him dancing in here. Had his brows been just as relaxed? Were his lips parted like that? Had he looked like he didn’t have a care beyond where he was going to place his feet next? If Wei WuXian had an LED light on his forehead, would it have been that same rosy pink because he couldn’t stop imagining Lan WangJi behind him, holding his waist while he danced?
Well, he knew one thing he definitely couldn’t have done that Lan WangJi was doing right now. He was singing along to the song, and very well Wei WuXian might add. Was there anything this man couldn’t do? Perhaps that’s why the gods had stuck him in a body that had been riddled with RA, because they knew if they put him in a healthy body, he’d be unstoppable.
His dancing was very much like how Wei WuXian’s had been when he’d asked him to dance for him; slow, and graceful with long, sweeping motions. He moved like a piece of art come to life, each moment suspended in the otherworldly blue light of the room. He was clearly lost in his own world, but not alone, if that pink light was any indication. Wei WuXian didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he thought he had a feeling as to who he was imagining dancing with.
His heart skipped a beat, his insides feeling soft and mushy with fondness.
He wasn’t too far off the mark, though Lan WangJi wasn’t just imagining dancing with Wei WuXian. He was thinking of all the ways he might be there for the other man in whatever capacity he’d allow him to be: as a friend who supported him and took care of him when he so clearly needed the help, as a lover who brought a smile and a blush to his face with kisses and gentle looks that weren’t for anyone else, or as someone in the background who did everything in his power to make sure Wei WuXian wasn’t impeded on his road to success. It was okay to imagine these things, Lan WangJi told himself. As long as these thoughts stayed in his own head, they were harmless. But he knew no matter what, whether his feelings for Wei WuXian were reciprocated or not, he would still care about him. His love for him was unconditional, unbreakable, and unyielding. However Wei WuXian needed him, he would be there for him in that way.
If only he could work up the courage to tell him that.
“And life just keeps on running,” Lan WangJi sang, barely audible over the radio. The song was coming to an end, so he started to wrap up his dance, movements becoming larger, grander to match the crescendo of the music. “And life just keeps on running. You look at me and life comes froooom…yoooouuu…”
As he sang the last note, he turned to face the doorway, holding out a hand towards it as if waiting for someone to come and take it. His eyes slowly opened, only to widen hugely when he saw that he wasn’t alone anymore, and that the subject of his thoughts was standing precisely where he was reaching towards with a smile on his face. That smile only widened when their eyes met, and Wei WuXian said, “I see you kept on improving your motor function, even without me here. Well done!”
Lan WangJi remained frozen in place, unable to do anything but stare, the light on his forehead flickering from light to dark green, but even if it wasn’t there, for once, Wei WuXian was able to read the emotions on his face clearly. Shock. Embarrassment. He averted his eyes, slowly lowering his arms and straightening up, as if trying to pretend he wasn’t doing what he was just doing. It took everything in Wei WuXian not to laugh.
“What happened to the 'I don’t dance' thing?” the doctor asked, forcing Lan WangJi to look at him again. His forehead shifted back to light green again.
“You have been avoiding me,” he said instead of answering the question.
The smile slid off Wei WuXian’s face and he started wringing his hands, deciding the wall to the left was much more interesting to look at than Lan WangJi. “Yeah, um, about that…” he mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
His heart was hammering a mile a minute. This was the conversation he’d been dreading for the past two days, and he hadn’t thought of anything to say in all that time. He rubbed at the back of his neck, unable to keep his hands still. “It’s just…” he began awkwardly, “remember when I asked to check on your forehead LED, only to tell you afterwards everything was fine with it? Well indeed, everything was working correctly…I wanted to check because your LED would turn pink pretty often when I was around.” His voice grew quieter as he added, “Pink means…oxytocin. I think I don’t need to elaborate further.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead slowly flickered from green to yellow when he realized where the conversation was going, only growing brighter when Wei WuXian started wringing his hands again and babbling, “I didn’t want to assume anything. After all, oxytocin can appear for other reasons too. And if it was there for the reason I thought it was, then it could also be there for the wrong reasons. Feelings that occurred purely out of gratitude, or because you felt like you owed them to me or something…I didn’t want that- no, I mean…I do want the feelings, but not because”-
Lan WangJi sighed with a small, tolerant smile on his face, before he placed a hand on top of Wei WuXian’s gloved one, effectively cutting him off. “Wei Ying.”
Wei WuXian promptly shut his mouth, watching him intently. The other man gently explained, “I had countless doctors and specialists take care of me. Some more so than others. There are many people I owe a lot to. You included. But I know even after everything you’ve done for me, the only thing I owe you is my gratitude. Not my feelings.”
The other man’s heart was thundering in his ears to the point that it hurt and he couldn’t hear anything, not even his own thoughts, save what Lan WangJi was saying. His entire world became his words, his voice the only thing tethering him to reality. His eyes drifted to the floor again, though he could hardly focus on what was in front of him. He simultaneously wanted to stay right there forever and run away in terror, the two desires nearly tearing him apart. Lan WangJi was telling him everything he wanted to hear and that was extremely dangerous.
“Those were a conscious choice.” He reached up to take Wei WuXian’s other hand, holding both of them between their bodies. “I allowed myself to feel them, after everything I’ve witnessed from all the time I’ve spent with you. I appreciated you as a person, not as the doctor who saved my life. Feelings that started off as small as a candle’s flame have grown as bright as the sun.”
His voice had grown softer and more tender with every word, and he gave Wei WuXian’s hands a comforting squeeze, doing everything in his power to convey that he meant was he was saying, especially since the expression on the other man’s face was so doubtful. When Lan WangJi finished talking, everything was painfully quiet for a beat or two, the suspense building, before Wei WuXian finally admitted, “I…may have been overthinking it a bit.”
“Maybe a little,” Lan WangJi agreed.
Something profound had just happened. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was palpable, settling over them like a thick blanket. Wei WuXian’s face flushed bright red, and he stuttered, “W-What now?”
Thankfully, the other man seemed to know exactly what to say. As always.
“Dance with me?” He pulled Wei WuXian’s hands closer to him.
Wei WuXian paused, wondering what the right answer was here. When he thought about pressing closer and allowing Lan WangJi to pull him along, his heart thundered even louder and made heat prickle along every inch of his skin. His heart was telling him that was the correct option, that being pushed outside of his comfort zone was a good thing. It was like being poised at the edge of a cliff and the thought of jumping off that cliff and into Lan WangJi’s arms sent an adrenaline rush through him that he liked. So, he nodded, and took a step towards him.
Then You Look At Me had been set to play on a loop, so it had started up and ended in the entire time they’d been speaking. When it started again, Lan WangJi led him onto his makeshift dancefloor and started to lead him through a slow, improvised dance. A smile crept onto Wei WuXian’s face again and his stomach filled with butterflies. Lan WangJi’s feet moved precisely and with dexterity, holding his weight steadily as he leaned this way and that, as well as Wei WuXian’s, while they moved around.
“Look at you,” Wei WuXian breathed in awe. “I remember you not even being able to walk and now I have competition in the dancing department.”
Lan WangJi gradually brought them to a stop in the middle of the floor before he gazed down at him, the light on his forehead blaring a bright pink. He would never admit out loud that part of the reason he’d brushed up on his dancing skills was because he wanted to dance with Wei WuXian someday. The doctor made the mistake of looking at his face, and he almost melted into a puddle. Lan WangJi’s eyes were so warm and tender, like Wei WuXian was a precious treasure that he had discovered and he couldn’t believe his luck. The affection displayed there was too much, and Wei WuXian hid his face in Lan WangJi’s shoulder. It was too late of course; he had already seen how red he was. He said nothing about it though, gracefully allowing Wei WuXian to keep a little bit of face.
“You need to stop it,” Wei WuXian whined, reaching up to cover his face with his hands. “Your LED is so pink.”
Lan WangJi lowered his head to nuzzle Wei WuXian’s temple, saying, “You installed it.”
Wei WuXian breathed a laugh, turning his head so that their foreheads were touching. Their eyes slid shut contentedly, and this close he could feel Lan WangJi’s warm breath spreading across his cheeks. Comfortable heat pooled in Wei WuXian’s stomach, and he settled his hands on the other man’s biceps.
“Smartass,” Wei WuXian teased, scrunching up his nose adorably.
Lan WangJi couldn’t handle this man anymore. Everything he did and said just made him fall more and more in love with him, even if it wasn’t intentional. In fact, it was because it wasn’t intentional, because Wei WuXian was behaving like his authentic self and not putting up an act around him that made him fall so hard. He pulled his face away from him and subtly tightened his grip on his waist, making Wei WuXian take half a step closer to him. The doctor tilted his head in confusion.
“You’re gripping my waist kinda hard,” he observed. “Is the pressure sensitivity having problems?”
However, the way he was staring at Wei WuXian, his eyes full of delicate, sweet devotion that seared its way right into his core...it was so intense that Wei WuXian lowered his head fast enough he swore he heard his neck crick. Steam was rolling off his face in waves to the point where he was certain Lan WangJi could feel the heat he was radiating. Once again, his own self doubt reared its ugly head, making him believe he was reading this entire situation wrong, that Lan WangJi was just being nice.
That self-doubt was quickly silenced though when Lan WangJi took his chin between his thumb and forefinger, carefully lifting his face so that their eyes met again. The tenderness hadn’t faded. In fact, at seeing how nervous he was, they grew even softer, more gentle. It’s okay, they seemed to say. I’m here. I won’t leave. I’m looking at you and I’m not afraid of what I see.
Wei WuXian’s breath caught in his throat when he felt a thumb brush over his bottom lip, the touch as delicate and fleeting as the touch of a butterfly’s wing. His intentions were clear, though oddly, knowing what Lan WangJi wanted didn’t frighten Wei WuXian. By contrast, it put him at ease, especially when he realized that he wanted that too. His nerves settled, and he felt blissfully happy, warm and safe, the same things he felt when Lan WangJi held him close in bed. When he saw the other man leaning closer to him, his heart thundered in excitement, and his last coherent thought was, I was right, he’ll catch me when I jump.
And then Lan WangJi’s lips met his.
Wei WuXian didn’t freeze, didn’t tense up. He melted into the other man easily, leaning subtly back into Lan WangJi’s hands when they slid up to rest on his upper back. Wei WuXian wrapped his arms around his neck, holding him in place. Energy began thrumming under his skin, like the distant rumble of thunder. Lan WangJi was the blow to the dam in Wei WuXian’s heart, and once it had broken, all of the affection he’d told himself over the years he wasn’t allowed to express gushed forth, rising up from his toes all the way to the top of his head. He grew more animated, pressing closer to Lan WangJi, breathing a laugh through his nose at his own actions. Lan WangJi echoed his laugh, obviously amused by his enthusiasm.
He couldn’t deal with him; Wei WuXian was kissing him like he was afraid this would be the only one Lan WangJi would want to share with him and he was trying to milk it for all it was worth, tilting his head further to the side and placing a hand on the back of Lan WangJi’s head. The poor thing. Didn’t he know that Lan WangJi would be happy to kiss him whenever he wanted for as long as he’d have him? That there was nothing he would deny him if only it would keep the smile on his face?
He supposed he would just have to spend every day from here on out proving that to him.
When they eventually pulled apart, their lips separating with a soft sound, the first thing Wei WuXian did was collapse, so overwhelmed by the intensity of the kiss that his knees buckled and Lan WangJi had to grip him extra tightly around his waist to hold him up. The second thing he did was giggle like an idiot, his head feeling lighter than air. Once again, he hid his face in the other man’s shoulder, unable to bear looking at him. His thoughts were spinning in a crazed loop, but they didn’t frighten him like before. Besides, he was sure by the subtle trembling he could feel in Lan WangJi’s hands against his waist, the other man was having similar thoughts.
The third thing Wei WuXian did was notice there was a hard object in his mouth that hadn’t been there before. He backed away from Lan WangJi’s shoulder to spit it into his hand, and when he saw what it was, he wheezed a slightly hysterical laugh. Lan WangJi raised an eyebrow at him.
“Damn, pretty sure you need this back,” Wei WuXian said, holding up the small bolt. “This is one first kiss souvenir that I don’t think I’ll be able to keep.”
Lan WangJi’s eyes widened. “First kiss?”
Wei WuXian sobered up, his face becoming red again when he realized what he’d just admitted. “Yes,” he said shyly.
The other man’s expression went soft again, and he leaned in close again, pecking his lips briefly this time. Stunned, Wei WuXian didn’t resist, and watched when he pulled back and told him, “There. Now you and I both have had two kisses.”
Alright, now Wei WuXian was going to die, and the blood would be on Lan WangJi’s hands. To prevent that, he wriggled out of his embrace and hastily babbled, “The bolt! Let’s put this back in before your lower jaw dislocates or something, otherwise that kiss will be your last one.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up bright yellow, and it only grew brighter when Wei WuXian grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room.
Notes:
I think it's about time these fuckwits kissed.
But oh god Joshua's comic for this chapter fucking kills me so bad, it helped so much writing this chapter. There's a page of it up there. You can find the full thing here: https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/post/647480529716920320/part-1-of-the-thank-you-comic-with-borgji-au-is
And part two here: https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/post/647480925404446721/part-2-of-the-thank-you-comic-for-borgji-au
I'm sure most of you have already seen this comic, and it was so nice to finally be able to integrate it into this fic <3
Joshua says: "Guys, I don't even have words for this author note, I am just a bloody messy pulp on the floor because I got a tendinitis of the soul from catching too much feels from this kissing scene. I'll let the comic with this chapter speaks for my love for this scene!"
Chapter 17: The Demons of Lanling Jin
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Summer had hit full force, which for Lanling Jin didn’t just mean that Wen Qing would finally stop complaining about how cold she was all the time or that Nie Mingjue would start running the AC in his lab so high icicles would form on his moustache. It also meant that school was out for the kids, which translated to a lot of fresh blood in the form of interns wandering about the halls getting their first taste of their chosen career paths. They were wide-eyed, innocent, full of wonder, and since they were young, many of them were cocky.
So naturally Wei WuXian saw it as his personal mission to figure out how to put the fear of God in them.
Wen Qing had been assigned to welcome them to Lanling Jin and take them on a tour of the areas they were allowed to visit in the building before letting them all go to their assigned labs. There were no more than a dozen young men and women here, and she was surprised to see some faces she actually knew. Lan Sizhui was standing near the front, all bright-eyed and studious despite the horrifically early hour. Near him was a boy that was yawning and barely conscious, and though she didn’t recognize him right off the bat, she’d heard Lan Sizhui mention that a cousin of his had been accepted as an intern as well. The two of them looked similar enough that she guessed this boy must be Lan Jingyi. At the back of the group was a sulking Jin Ling, who kept eyeing everyone around him like he was expecting them to attack him at any moment. Like he was daring them to attack him.
She sighed to herself. She’d definitely seen that expression before on Jin Zixuan. If she’d had any doubts before as to whether or not Jin Ling was really his son, they were gone now. She wondered if that was part of the reason he was by himself too, because the other interns knew who he was. She wouldn’t be surprised.
Poor kid.
After a brief greeting and a warning to stick close, she led them out of the foyer and deeper into the building, smiling despite herself at hearing a few awed gasps. Wen Qing often forgot how cool Lanling Jin was because she saw it every day, and these interns reminded her every year that the work they were doing was truly extraordinary. She pointed out the physio room, the pharmaceutical lab, and of course her own lab, explaining the significance of each. Overall, the interns were behaving and everything was going off without a hitch. She hadn’t even had to yell at any of them yet and she considered that a huge win.
Then she made the mistake of stopping in front of the robotics lab.
Honestly, it wasn’t her fault. It was part of the tour, and a necessary one, considering she knew that was where Lan Sizhui was going to spend his summer, and that several of the interns here were going to have to work at least somewhat closely with this department, so they had to know where it was. But she should have known better than to stop the group right where Wei WuXian could smell their innocent blood.
But alas, it was seven in the morning, Wen Qing was running on three cups of coffee, and she didn’t think.
“Needless to say, I think you were all made aware that the robotic department at Lanling Jin is state of the art regarding cybernetic and artificial implants,” she droned to the group. “While a lot of it has been kept under wraps for obvious reasons, the funding received from smaller scale projects such as optical, artificial heart, kidney or limb replacements serve to finance much bigger projects like the cybernetic body replacement project, which we will cover later. For now, all of you will concentrate on your own assigned projects. The knowledge you will obtain there will be crucial in order to climb the department ladders here. Now,” she nodded to the side, “The lab you will see on your right is the artificial heart development department. Last year it was responsible for over four thousand artificial heart transplants which saved many lives that would have otherwise been lost due to time constraint or"-
At that moment, Wei WuXian busted through the door, riding on a gurney with a cadaver covered in a white sheet, a terrifying, feral grin on his face while the red lenses on his goggles glowed in the florescent lights, shouting, “HEY KIDS WANT TO SEE A DEAD BODY!?”
The interns all started screaming in alarm, many of the boys dissolving into a falsetto higher than that of the girls. Some of them leapt backwards, and some of them had actual tears welling up in their eyes. Wei WuXian tsked at them, getting off the gurney and pushing his goggles up on top of his head.
When the dust settled and the screaming died down, some of the interns looked around to see that they had inadvertently clung to the person closest to them. Lan Jingyi was one of these people, gripping Lan Sizhui so hard the other boy winced, pressing their cheeks together. Once he realized what he’d done, he sheepishly let go of him.
“Wei WuXian what the fuck are you doing?” Wen Qing growled.
"Weeding out the weaklings,” he stated, crossing his arms. “How can they expect to make it in this field if they can't handle something like a dead body?"
“Well if you don’t get out of here in the next five seconds, they’re going to be seeing another one.”
He ignored her to scan the faces of the interns, lighting up when he saw his nephew. He waved to him, saying, “Hi Jin Ling! Have you figured out what department you want to go into yet?”
The other interns turned around to look at him, and Jin Ling bristled in response to all the attention. He snapped, “None of your business!”
“Aww, don’t be like that! Well, your uncle is here to help if you need anything!”
Some of the interns snickered, which just made Jin Ling blush and scowl harder, clenching his hands into fists at his sides and resolutely turning away from them. However, Wei WuXian quickly turned his attention to a new target, focusing on a bewildered Lan Sizhui. “Ahh, Sizhui, there you are! Are you being good? I don't need to report anything back to your dad, do I? Oh what am I saying, you're an angel, of course I don’t have to. And is that Lan Jingyi next to you?” He flicked his gaze over to the boy next to him, bouncing on his heels excitedly. “Nice to meet you! I’ve heard some good things about you from Lan WangJi.”
“H-He mentioned me?” Lan Jingyi stammered.
"Oh yeah, said you were going into physio. Good choice!” he beamed down at the boy, who seemed pleasantly surprised. He then asked the rest of the interns, “Hey! Do any of you want me to pull back the sheet so you guys can take a look at the inside of this guy's leg? He had elephant's foot."
He got mixed reactions that involved a few replying with, "Oh please no I'm going to be sick," and others saying, "Sick! Can we please?" But the voice that was louder than all of them was Wen Qing's when she shouted, "Get the fuck out of here, Wei WuXian! Go terrorize someone else."
Cackling, he did as she asked, getting back on the gurney and zooming down the hallway, before making a sharp turn to the left. There were a few shrieks in the distance and the sound of metal clattering against metal. Wen Qing sighed and dropped her forehead into her hand.
"Wei-Yisheng is in a really good mood today," Lan Sizhui pointed out, staring in the direction he'd left.
"You call that a good mood? That was terrifying!" Lan Jingyi sputtered.
Wen Qing pulled her hand away from her forehead and told them, "He becomes more a pain in the ass than usual when he's in a good mood. Remember that, all of you. It'll help you survive here."
There were some shaky murmurs of agreement among the interns and several nods. Lan Sizhui ignored them, still watching the place where Wei WuXian had disappeared, wondering what could possibly have the doctor in such high spirits when he had been such a wreck the past couple of days.
After Wei WuXian had delivered the cadaver to its destination, he looked up at a passing clock and saw that he had a couple of extra minutes to kill before he had to go back to the lab. So, he made his way down to the library with a spring in his step. Once he passed through the doorway and caught sight of the top of Lan WangJi's head, a smile ate up his face. Lan WangJi heard his footsteps and lifted his head, and upon seeing who it was, his forehead rapidly flashed between yellow and pink. Wei WuXian had to resist squealing with every fiber of his being, because now his doubts were gone, the burden was lifted, and he was riding a high.
The fact that there was collateral damage as a result of that high was of little consequence to him.
When he got close enough, he plopped his elbows on the counter and placed his chin in his palms, saying in a sing-song voice, "Lan Zhaaaan, my Lan Zhan. I finally thought of what I want for dinner and thought I'd stop by to tell you before I forgot!"
Thankfully no one was paying attention to them because the expression on Lan WangJi's face was sickeningly besotted as he waited to hear what he had to say.
"Mmm...I was thinking a nice hotpot," Wei WuXian decided after a moment.
"Heavy on the meat? Spicy broth?"
"You know me too well," he said with a wink. Wei WuXian then sunk down on the counter with a groan when he realized something. "Ugh, I feel so bad though. You make such a nice food and I can't share it with you. Hmm, maybe sometime down the line I can do something about that..."
"Seeing Wei Ying eat what I make and enjoy it is enough," Lan WangJi insisted.
Wei WuXian scrubbed at his face, before hiding it in his hands as he whined in a muffled voice, "Ahhh no, don't say things like that! You'll kill me! Well, whatever. I'm still going to try. I've been told it's impossible, but they used to say the same about making an artificial body too..."
He trailed off, before he realized that the other man was still focused intently on him. Wei WuXian's gaze drifted up to meet his, as if it had been magnetically drawn there. He glanced around for a few seconds. Well, nobody was looking at them. Would it be strange to kiss Lan WangJi here? They hadn't since that evening in the physio room yesterday. Wei WuXian's thoughts started shooting off in a dozen different directions. Is this okay? We're together, right? I can kiss him whenever I want, can't I?
When Lan WangJi started to lean in towards him, Wei WuXian startled, drawn out of his own thoughts. He froze, unsure if he was comfortable or not with this, and he opened his mouth to say something.
But at that moment, a piercing shriek from somewhere down the hall drowned out anything he might have said, causing both of them to whip their heads around in the direction of the sound. After sharing a confused glance, they both ran over to the doorway and poked their heads out into the hallway.
"That sounds like it came from the pharmaceutical department," Wei WuXian observed.
“Mn,” Lan WangJi agreed.
Without even saying anything, they both nodded to each other and made their way down to see what was going on. Upon arriving, a couple technicians were fleeing the room and taking off down the hall. Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian paused for a moment, before another scream drew them in, and Wei WuXian realized that the scream belonged to Nie Huaisang. So, they both walked brusquely into the lab, their guard up. When they were inside, they saw that a few of the technicians had their feet tucked up in their chairs while they eyed the ground distrustfully, while others that didn’t were laughing at them. Yet another person had climbed onto a table and was blubbering all sorts of nonsense about how he was going to die, and Wei WuXian realized that was Nie Huaisang. Of course it was.
“So uh, what’s going on?” Wei WuXian asked him nonchalantly, putting his hands in his lab coat pockets.
But all Nie Huasiang could stammer was, “I-It's...there's, oh my God someone kill it!!"
“Kill what?”
Another technician snickered, drawing Wei WuXian’s attention. He explained, “Centipede. Hiding in the lab somewhere, but no one knows where. Apparently Nie Huaisang is afraid of them.”
“How are you not afraid of them??” Nie Huaisang burst out. “This thing looks like it’s six inches long! It’s moving and twitching like a creepy fucking snake and if it bites me I’ll die! Please someone kill it!!”
Wei WuXian rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh. “Alright, keep your shirt on. I’ve brought the perfect, state of the art centipede finder with me.” He looked over Lan WangJi with a smirk. “Lan Zhan, if you may?”
Lan WangJi nodded with a grunt of ascent, and then closed his eyes. Upon seeing this, everyone in the lab held their breath. Dead quiet settled over everything for a beat or two, and then suddenly, he heard the sound of a dozen tiny legs ticking across the tiled floor. He turned his head towards the sound, and then opened his eyes, just in time to see the shadow of its body beneath a filing cabinet. He met Wei WuXian’s eyes, and then jerked his head towards the filing cabinet. Wei WuXian nodded in understanding, and they both took slow, measured steps towards it. When they stopped in front of it, they placed their hands on it in unison, Wei WuXian mouthing, “One, two, three,” before they both moved it.
And then all at once, everything erupted into chaos. The centipede came flying out, skittering across the floor, desperately trying to find somewhere else to hide. Nie Huaisang and a few others began screaming anew while others curled up in their seats. Lan WangJi focused on the centipede, blocking out all the sounds, and once he had a clear shot, he lunged, before he swiped his arm out swiftly and caught it.
Slowly, he stood up, holding it between his thumb and forefinger, watching as it curled, trying to bite him. But even if it managed to grab hold of him, its jaws wouldn’t have been able to penetrate his fingers. He was the only one who could have caught this centipede with his bare hands safely. Lan WangJi turned towards Wei WuXian, and Wei WuXian grinned at him, his eyes alight with pride.
“Good job!” he praised. “I knew you could do it!”
Lan WangJi practically preened, his head feeling light from his words. Wei WuXian walked over to get a closer look at the centipede, squinting at it. He then glanced up at Nie Huaisang and said sardonically, “This thing is not six inches. Honestly I’m kind of disappointed now.”
Nie Huaisang sputtered with rage, his face turning red. “OH SHUT UP, IT’S NOT MY FAULT I’VE BEEN LIED TO MY WHOLE LIFE ABOUT WHAT SIX INCHES LOOKS LIKE.”
Wei WuXian ignored him, his attention once more wholly focused on Lan WangJi. Even with a centipede in his hand, again he wanted to kiss him. He looked amazing using his advanced senses like that, and he was happy everyone witnessed how cool he looked too. But again, he was unsure. What if their previous kisses were a fluke brought on by the soft music and the romantic atmosphere? How much was he allowed to get away with? How much was he comfortable letting him get away with?
More importantly, though he didn’t want to admit it, a small, dark part of Wei WuXian had to wonder how long would it be before Lan WangJi decided he’d made a mistake?
Over the next couple of days, things almost went back to how they had been. Not that he was avoiding Lan WangJi, but whenever the other man walked into the room, he always jumped like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t. Of course Lan WangJi noticed this, as ridiculously attentive as he was, and he would ask Wei WuXian at least once every day if he was okay. Of course, Wei WuXian insisted that everything was, waving him off and saying, “We’re fine, everything is fine. Don’t mind me, okay? I’m just being an idiot like always. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
But Lan WangJi wasn’t a fool. In fact, now he was quite nervous that he was again making Wei WuXian uncomfortable in some way and that he was going to go back to avoiding him. So, he went to the only source with in depth knowledge of Wei WuXian’s odd quirks, as well as his past, so he could figure out what he had to do to help him.
The moment Lan WangJi walked into his office, Jiang Cheng knew it had something to do with Wei WuXian, because that’s the only reason he could think of as to why he would seek his miserable self out, and once more he thought about how he wasn’t getting paid enough to be here. He also briefly contemplated whether or not it would be worth it to smash his head through a wall and hope the blow killed him so he didn’t have to contemplate the idea of his brother having a love life.
And yet...Lan WangJi did seem to be passionate about Wei WuXian's happiness. The fact that he was coming to him of all people for advice was proof enough, but Jiang Cheng had been more than convinced by watching how dutiful Lan WangJi was to Wei WuXian, whether that be making him homemade meals every day (more than once a day, for heaven's sake), or paying close attention to Wei WuXian's habits so he could remember them for later and figure out what he needed from the smallest cues.
Besides, Lan WangJi was blocking the door. Whether or not that was on purpose, there was no way for Jiang Cheng to escape the conversation.
He pushed himself away from his desk with a sigh, before turning around in his chair and facing Lan WangJi. The other man's forehead was flashing with a myriad of colors Jiang Cheng didn't know the significance of, but he was able to read the expression on his face well enough, and he thought that worry was such a strange contrast to that intimidating metal frame. After a moment, he said, "I promise you when I say this that I’m not being mean. But Wei WuXian is not good when it comes to dealing with romance."
"I know," Lan WangJi said. "Nie Mingjue said so too."
"Ah. But what he probably didn't tell you is that it’s because his self-esteem has always been in the toilet, no matter how much he tries to act like it’s not, and also because he’s just genuinely bad at recognizing the signs when someone has those sorts of feelings for him. Like, worse than I am.”
Lan WangJi was taken aback. In a small, bewildered voice, he echoed, "He...has low self-esteem?”
“Oh yeah," he affirmed with a solemn nod. He wasn't surprised he didn't know; Wei WuXian did a great job of covering up his shortcomings. "He’s convinced himself that he’s unworthy of anyone loving him, that he’s an annoyance, that no one will put up with him, all that. Listen, I think he’s the most annoying person on the planet, but I love him, and I'll put up with him no matter what.”
He didn't think he meant to, but Lan WangJi could hear genuine love and affection leaking into Jiang Cheng's voice, and he knew he was telling the truth. Poor Wei WuXian. He wished he could tell him that even someone as tsundere and irritable was willing to stick with him through thick and thin.
“You just have to be very, very clear with him about what you want, what's okay and what's not," Jiang Cheng continued, gesturing with his hands for emphasis. "Otherwise, he’s going to revert to how your relationship used to be because that’s what’s comfortable for him. If you want things to change, you have to be the one to implement the change and then he’ll follow along. You have to explain to him in terms an idiot could understand. He has to be told that I love you means I love you and there's no ulterior motive behind the words. Just…don’t worry too much. Deep down, he’s a simple bitch with simple needs that likes to disguise them with science."
Lan WangJi hummed agreement, before offering Jiang Cheng a small bow of thanks and leaving the room, the wheels in his head spinning a mile a minute.
He went and found Wei WuXian that evening, the other man hard at work as usual. However, unlike all the other times Lan WangJi had come in here, he wasn't ignored until he appeared in Wei WuXian's periphery. Instead, he must have heard his footsteps, might have even been actively listening for them, if Lan WangJi dared to hope, because he quickly put his tools down and shut off his radio, before turning around and pushing his goggles up on his head with an eager smile.
“My God," he said exasperatedly, "I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I’m starving! I used to be able to get through most of the day without eating, but now every four hours on the dot I get so hungry I want to start tearing apart the walls and eating the insulation.”
Lan WangJi answered, “That’s because you’re on a regular eating schedule now. Your stomach has become used to being full, and when it’s not, it’ll be more adamant about letting you know.”
The other man stuck his tongue out at him. “You’re pure evil, you know that? Turning me into this gross, needy thing that has to stop working and eat. Ugh.”
"My apologies."
"Oh, shut up you liar, you're not sorry at all."
His yellow forehead light indicated that no, he wasn't.
A little while later, once they were seated at a spare work bench and Wei WuXian was inhaling his dinner, Lan WangJi was still thinking hard, trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say. He couldn’t just repeat back exactly what Jiang Cheng had said; Wei WuXian would recognize Jiang Cheng’s words and phrasing. He wouldn’t believe that Lan WangJi was being genuine. He stared at the table hard, practically burning a hole through it, elbows on the tabletop while his folded hands hovered in front of his lips.
The light flickering on his forehead drew Wei WuXian’s attention, and he paused, the food hovering halfway between the bowl and his mouth. It flashed light green several times, and Wei WuXian’s brows drew upwards in concern. He laid his chopsticks down on his bowl and reached over, lightly touching the other man’s forearm. Lan WangJi lifted his eyes to meet his, trying to school his expression into something neutral, but of course his LED betrayed him.
“What’s the matter?” Wei WuXian asked. “Your LED says you’re stressed.”
Lan WangJi fidgeted, before letting out a long sigh. He still didn’t think he’d found the right words to explain his feelings, but it looked like his time was up. So, slowly, he said, “Wei Ying, I realize I haven’t been forthcoming about what I want in our relationship, if I may call it that. That’s my fault. I should have been clearer.”
Wei WuXian blinked at him in surprise, before he processed what he said and waved his hands in front of him, exclaiming, “Oh no no, don’t be sorry! I don’t mind if you call it that at all!”
He realized he was about to start rambling, and quickly shoved more food in his mouth to shut himself up, chewing and swallowing too quickly, causing him to cough. He pounded on his chest a few times until his mouthful worked itself free. Quickly, he started picked up a meatball in his bowl, laughing the whole incident off. Once it was clear he was okay, Lan WangJi couldn’t help but feel relieved that he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. Still, he couldn’t help but feel sad from witnessing this obvious display of low self-esteem from the other man.
Jiang Cheng was right. He had to be as clear about this as possible. He couldn’t leave any semblance of doubt.
“I want to have a romantic relationship with you,” he said in a low, soft voice. “And everything that implies."
Wei WuXian’s meatball fell from his lax chopsticks back into his bowl, the sauce splashing up and splattering over the bowl, somehow just missing his white lab coat. He stared at him in open surprise, lips parted. Lan WangJi nodded once for emphasis, leaving the other man to sputter in disbelief, “Oh- that's…well, that's what I wanted too but I was worried about…"
He trailed off, but Lan WangJi could guess what he wanted to say. He offered him a small, gentle smile and said, “You can lay those worries to rest. If they resurface, you can ask me again and see if I would deny you anything.”
Wei WuXian’s eyes widened, a blush spreading across his cheeks, before his face split into a warm, bright grin, and to Lan WangJi’s delight, he got up and leaned over the table before he kissed him full on the mouth. Lan WangJi gasped in surprise, but then his eyes slid shut when he realized what was happening, and he kissed him back. He made a mental note to go and thank Jiang Cheng later, before pushing the thought out of his mind quickly. That was not the man he wanted to be thinking about right now.
When he pulled back, Wei WuXian gushed, “Ugh, you ridiculous man, what the hell am I going to do with you? You need to stop being so good to me or my heart is going to explode- oh crap.”
It was then that he noticed he had smeared sauce on Lan WangJi’s bottom lip, and laughing, he picked up one of his napkins and set to wiping it off.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’ll get better at this kissing thing, I swear.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead flickered from green to yellow and pink, and it stayed that way for the rest of the evening.
Notes:
Just fyi when Joshua sent me that art I nearly skipped laughing and went straight to puking because it was so fucking funny xDDD But yeah that "hey kids want to see a dead body" thing is absolutely from Hellsing abridged because I can't see WWX as anyone other than Alucard when he has those goggles on. The entire centipede scene was an excuse to make that dick joke based off a Joel Kim Booster routine because he reminds me of a modern NHS, at least in this fic xD. Also thank you Joshua so much for the technobabble with Wen Qing, you saved me from having 100 more grey hairs sprouting on my head :'D
Joshua says: "This chapter is a bit shorter than the other and low on action but it being a transitional chapter , we'll make it up to ya'll with the next one! In the meantime, enjoy Wei Wuxian being his gremlin self, The appearance of the juniors and of course a couple of references to the original material! Enjoy!"
Chapter 18: The Games With You and Me
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Once they established that they were indeed going to be an item, the only ground rule that Wei WuXian laid for them was that they would have to keep their relationship on the down low.
“Why?” Lan WangJi wanted to know.
Wei WuXian tapped his chin with his pointer finger and stared up at the ceiling as he tried to gather his thoughts, before saying, “Mmm, well, it’s the Jins in particular we have to watch out for. If the Jins or their lab assistants learn about us, they may say the data I collected wouldn't be…objective. They might say it’d be biased or lack professionalism, that I’m not thinking about patient confidentiality, that sort of thing. Maybe even that my feelings towards you are interfering with your performance.”
The other man nodded. “I understand.” He didn’t have to verbalize the fact that it wasn’t just Wei WuXian who could get in trouble if word of this got out. It wouldn’t matter that Wei WuXian hadn’t developed an interest in Lan WangJi until long after he’d been discharged, until after they’d become friends. He was still his former patient, and Lanling Jin had that in writing.
Wei WuXian brightened up after a moment and told him cheerily, “That doesn’t mean we can’t tell people though! Just those we trust. It’d be wise for at least a few others to know. If worst comes to worst, then it’ll be good to have people on our side. Besides, I’m sure Lan XiChen would absolutely die to hear that his perpetually single little brother has finally attached himself to someone.”
That was an understatement. Lan XiChen was going to be feral with euphoria over the news.
Speaking of…
“Um…” Wei WuXian said unsurely, his eyes averted. He was fiddling with the edge of his lab coat. Lan WangJi stared at him curiously. “Can we take some couple’s selfies? I’ve always wanted- I mean, but I’ve never…I know it’s stupid”-
“It’s not,” Lan WangJi immediately refuted. His forehead was a bright pink, unable to handle how precious this man was. He was so nervous over such a simple thing. His chest ached with fondness. “We can take as many as you’d like. And then you must send them to me.”
Slowly, a smile spread across Wei WuXian’s cheeks, and the sparkle returned to his eyes. “Okay,” he breathed. “Okay then. Let’s just…”
Hands shaking with excitement, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, fiddled with it a bit, before lifting it up and wrapping an arm around Lan WangJi’s shoulders. Lan WangJi leaned easily against him until their cheeks were touching, noting that they were standing in front of Wei WuXian’s work bench. Fitting, he thought with amusement. They both stared into the camera, and Lan WangJi could feel the other man’s blinding smile against his skin. After the beep and flash, Wei WuXian set it to take another photo, this time turning his head so that he could kiss Lan WangJi’s cheek.
It was only after Wei WuXian sent him the photos that he saw not only was his forehead still pink, but his expression was softer and more tender than he’d ever seen. He hardly recognized himself. Was this what being in love looked like on him?
If so, he liked it.
He quickly set the image as his wallpaper before joining Wei WuXian in texting it to their respective brothers, adding a caption underneath it that read, Thank you for the advice. It worked.
Wei WuXian was of course not nearly as kind to Jiang Cheng, texting, You reap what you sow motherfucker, now you gotta deal with this for the foreseeable future.
It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes for Lan XiChen to text back. When Lan WangJi showed him the message, Wei WuXian made the ugliest snort the other man had ever heard.
I’m so happy for you both, you’re adorable! We’ll have to do double dates at the lab sometime! ٩(ˊ ᗜ ˋ*)و ✧ ( ु • ⌄ • ) ◞◟ ( • ⌄ • ू ) ✧
“Oh my God the emojis,” he wheezed. “He’s so cute, get him away from me.”
Just then, Wei WuXian’s phone dinged, and he looked down at the screen. After reading the message, he cackled, and showed Lan WangJi, whose forehead lit up yellow with mirth.
If I say I’m happy for you, will you never send me anymore selfies like this again?
“Such a contrast,” Wei WuXian laughed, before his fingers began flying over the keys. Deal.
However, a couple seconds after he hit send, he couldn’t resist adding, Just so as you know I had my fingers crossed when I sent that.
The reply was immediate and loud even through the screen: WEI WUXIAN!!!
That just made Wei WuXian cackle even louder, and he set to typing like his fingers were on fire. Every response Jiang Cheng sent back, he showed Lan WangJi, who kept shaking his head and rolling his eyes. The two of them may have been in their thirties, but from reading these, one would assume they were still children. And like children, they took great delight in threatening each other in increasingly creative ways, until Lan WangJi felt the need to ask, “Why is it every conversation you have with your brother always manages to end with the two of you threatening to steal organs from the freezer and leave them in random areas in each other’s labs?”
“Oh this is nothing compared to when we were kids and were stuck living in the same house,” Wei WuXian said.
Lan WangJi shook his head in disbelief, the only thing running through his mind being the thought that if he and his brother ever said the things Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng said to each other, they would have been shot by their uncle, plain and simple.
The next person they told was Lan Sizhui while he waited in Wei WuXian's lab for his uncle to pick him up. Or rather, Lan WangJi wanted to be the one to tell him, and if he didn't do so face to face, it wouldn't feel right.
Still, it didn't stop him from feeling guilty. For their whole lives, it had been just the two of them, and he'd hardly had a thought of changing that. It was odd, but he felt like a divorced parent introducing a new lover. Granted, Lan Sizhui was older and didn't need so much of his attention anymore, but still. Lan WangJi had read enough parenting books over the course of his life to know that bringing a new partner onto the scene at any stage your child's life had the potential to go badly, and he was scared of upsetting him.
After he got out the words, he waited for Lan Sizhui's reaction with bated breath, his posture unusually stiff. They were seated on the couch, Wei WuXian having perched himself on the arm. He reached over and put a hand on Lan WangJi's shoulder, squeezing it. Lan Sizhui's eyes followed the movement, before his eyes shone with tears and he leaned over, pulling Lan WangJi into an embrace. Lan WangJi stared over his shoulder, eyes wide with shock.
"You're...not angry?" he asked hesitantly.
"How could I be?" Lan Sizhui said. He backed out of the embrace, tears now clearly welling up in his eyes. He sniffed, smiling a watery smile. “You’ve been so strong for me for so many years, despite the pain you’ve been in. And I always secretly wished you could find someone to lean on. You deserve someone as wonderful as you. And I don’t think you could have picked someone better than Wei-Yisheng.”
"Oh...Oh my God..." Wei WuXian breathed, unable to believe was he was hearing. He looked like he was on the verge of tears as well, covering his mouth to prevent himself from sobbing. Lan Sizhui laughed sympathetically and hugged him as well.
Once they had gotten all their blubbering out, Lan Sizhui couldn't help but say to his dad, "I do like uncle's boyfriend, but I'm glad you picked Wei-Yisheng. Nie Mingjue can be...scary."
"Excuse me, I take offense to that!" Wei WuXian said indignantly. "I can be scary too! You saw me on the first day of your internship!”
Lan Sizhui laughed uncomfortably, leaving Lan WangJi to give him a look that clearly said, Oh God what did you do? as clearly as any words he could have spoken.
Word spread quickly, apparently, because without him even saying anything to Nie Mingjue, the next time Wei WuXian encountered him, without any prompting, the other man said, “If you break his heart, on behalf of his brother, I’ll be forced to gut you and wear your intestines around my neck like a feather boa. Don’t fuck this up.”
He jabbed a finger at Wei WuXian's chest for emphasis, and he backed away with a nervous laugh. “Why do I get the feeling you'd take any excuse to do that anyway?”
When his brother found out the news, Nie Huaisang reacted just as intensely. However, his reaction was more in the…opposite direction. Instead of replying to Wei WuXian's text, he left the lab without a word, sought out Lan WangJi at work, didn't take any heed whatsoever of the fact that he was surrounded by his coworkers, bent over the counter and asked, "So do you like thigh highs?"
Lan WangJi lifted his head to look at him, his expression comically flat, before he replied, "Excuse me?"
Nie Huaisang ignored the strange looks they were getting and awkward coughs, before he repeated the question in a tone that made it seem like Lan WangJi was the crazy one for finding this weird. "Do you like thigh highs, yes or no?"
“...S-Sure?" Lan WangJi said after a moment's thought. "They can be warm in the winter.”
The pharmacist sighed and shook his head. "Oh you sweet, innocent child..."
In the end, Lan WangJi's innocence probably saved him a boatload of embarrassment, because the next day, Nie Huaisang returned and deposited a pair of thigh highs right on his desk before leaving with a swish of his lab coat. Lan WangJi hastily shoved them under his desk, his forehead burning dark green. It was only at the end of the day when he returned home that he dared to try them on. To his surprise, they were rather tasteful, obviously meant more for comfort than...the alternative. They were fluffy all the way from the feet to the thigh, which had little bunny faces complete with ears interspersed with mesh. His eyes grew shinier and rounder the more he looked at them, and his forehead lit up a pleased yellow. Lan WangJi hated to admit it, but the thigh highs made him feel...cute. Whether or not they made him cute enough to translate into sexy though remained to be seen. He didn't dare get his hopes up.
However, that question was answered for him a moment later when he heard Wei WuXian's familiar footsteps outside his door, followed by his voice asking, "Lan Zhan, have you seen my..."
He opened the door and trailed off when he registered exactly what he was looking at. He went completely silent, staring at the thigh highs, before lifting his gaze. Lan WangJi wasn't wearing anything else, and without his consent, their eyes met. He only stood there long enough in the doorway- hand on the door handle, clutching his “doomsday device canceller” mug in a white knuckled grip- for Lan WangJi to see his face flush beat red, before he turned around and left without a word, shutting the door behind him.
On the other side of the door, Wei WuXian plastered himself against wall, eyes wide and unseeing, his free hand pressed against his chest. His heart was beating so hard he was convinced it was going to burst through his ribcage, and when he closed his eyes, he could hear it.
Did he have a new kink now? Was this how they started? Was that why he suddenly had the urge to lock up the lab, open the door again and ask Lan WangJi if he possibly wouldn’t mind walking around in nothing but those thigh highs while Wei WuXian admired him?
He took a deep breath and let it out very slowly, muttering to himself, “Cute, he’s so cute. I can’t take this. This is how I die, Lan WangJi in the lab with a pair of thigh highs…”
On the other side of the door, Lan WangJi, who had been staring at the door, heard him and smiled smugly, his forehead lighting up an even brighter yellow. He would have to remind himself to thank Nie Huaisang later. He hadn’t meant to show Wei WuXian these thigh highs quite yet, but still, to say he approved of them appeared to be an understatement.
He drummed his fingers against the bed for a moment before a horrible, wonderful thought occurred to him. He shook his head, banishing it from his head a moment later. The image of Wei WuXian in a pair of matching thigh highs was too powerful for him, and if he dwelled on it for too long, he wouldn’t get anything done for the rest of the day.
A few days later, while Lan WangJi sat on the couch waiting for Wei WuXian to finish up work so that they could head to dinner, he heard the most peculiar sound in the distance. It started off faint, drowned out by the whirring and buzzing of motors that Wei WuXian was using. But as it got closer, and it became louder, and more distinct. It was the sound of a dog barking, high pitched and rapid, and from the sound of it, the dog was big.
At first, Lan WangJi didn’t have any reaction beyond blinking in disinterest. But then he remembered how Wei WuXian had said he was afraid of dogs, and in an instant, he was on his feet, saying the other man’s name in warning while starting to head over to the door so he could shut it.
However, even if he hadn’t said anything, Wei WuXian already heard the dogs barking, and by the time he did, they were already too close for him to react properly in time. His tools fell onto his work bench with a clatter while he shot to his feet, a frightened, “Lan Zhan-!” on his lips.
But it was too late. Before they knew it, two dogs came skittering into the lab, their nails scratching the tile as they slipped. One was a Malamute with a service dog vest on, and it was chasing a tiny white Pomeranian, who also wore a service dog vest. To Lan WangJi, it was clear they were playing, and under any other circumstance, seeing such a large dog chasing such a small one might have been funny.
At the moment though, watching how wide Wei WuXian’s eyes became and how white his face turned, how he frantically looked around the lab for a place to hide, it was anything but.
When the dogs caught sight of them, they perked up, and charged over in their direction. All logic flew out of Wei WuXian’s head, and he raced over to Lan WangJi, before climbing him like a tree. He wrapped himself around the other man’s shoulders and torso like a boa constrictor, his breath wheezing in and out his lungs. Lan WangJi reached backwards to hold him in place, stumbling when he felt himself begin to tip as a result of the extra weight. He squeezed him even more tightly when the dogs skidded to a stop at their feet, the Malamute standing on his hind legs and trying to nip at Wei WuXian’s clothes, while the tiny white dog hopped up and down at Lan WangJi’s feet, yipping in excitement. It resembled a sentient cloud more than a dog.
“Help me Lan Zhan! Make them go away,” Wei WuXian whimpered. He could feel him hiding his face against the back of his neck and shoulder, feel him shaking like a leaf in a winter wind, some of the metal on Lan WangJi’s body rattling in response.
That was enough to make his forehead light up red with irritation and protective anger. Lan WangJi straightened up, turning Wei WuXian away from the dogs and placing himself between them and him, glaring down at them before he growled, “Go away.”
However, the dogs were too hyped up, too excited and intrigued by this new game. Their tails were wagging a mile a minute, and if anything, they started trying harder, hopping up even higher. Lan WangJi backed up a few steps, looking over his shoulder and trying to see where his room was. Would he be able to make a run for it and shut the door behind them? If he did that, would the dogs eventually give up and leave?
Suddenly, he heard a couple sets of feet running down the hall, before Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling barreled into the lab, their hair askew and their faces red, all of them panting loudly. They were all obviously alarmed, and they wasted no time in rushing over, lunging for the dogs.
“Fairy!” Jin Ling snapped. “Come!”
That was enough to make his dog look over at him, and when he saw the hand signal the boy used, he trotted over to his side, tail still wagging, before he sat down obediently at his side. Jin Ling clipped a leash to his harness to make sure he couldn’t leave him again. Meanwhile, Lan Jingyi swooped down and caught the Pomeranian, holding it tightly against his chest.
“I AM SO SORRY, WEI-YISHENG!” Lan Jingyi exclaimed.
Lan Sizhui echoed in a rush, “ME TOO, WEI-YISHENG! WE WERE PRACTICING HOW TO DO PHYSIO WITH A PATIENT AND THE POMERANIAN IS A REGISTERED THERAPY DOG, THEN JIN LING WALKED IN WITH FAIRY AND THEY STARTED PLAYING AND RAN OUT OF THE PHYSIO ROOM AND I AM SOOOOO SORRY.”
He bowed furiously over and over again, all the while clutching the little dog in his arms, as if inadvertently forcing it to bow for its wrong doings as well. Though of course, this contrasted with its vacant, happy, bug-eyed panting smile, as if it had never had a thought in its life.
Without another word, he zoomed out of the room, Lan Jingyi hot on his heels. Jin Ling made a move to follow them, before he suddenly paused, glancing back at Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian. He narrowed his eyes, fixing them with a look that Lan WangJi didn't like, before turning his nose up in the air and leaving the room in a huff, Fairy heeling beside him obediently.
Once the sounds of the dog's nails on the tile faded away, Wei WuXian finally braved climbing down and setting his feet on the floor again. However, even though the danger had passed, he was still shaking with leftover adrenaline, his legs horribly unsteady, and he stumbled. Lan WangJi quickly caught him, one hand on his chest and the other on his back preventing him from pitching forward. Even through all the layers he was wearing, he could feel how hot the other man's back was, feel the moisture of his sweat. His forehead turned green, his distress matching Wei WuXian's.
Wei WuXian happened to glance up at him, and when he saw the green light, he started laughing lightly, “Oh no no it's alright, just give me a minute, I’ll be okay. I’m so silly, aren’t I? That dog was so tiny, the size of a slipper, and Fairy is Jin Ling’s service dog. He’s a good dog, he really is, he’s helped Jin Ling so much, and he needs him. Jin Ling gets seizures you know, and normally he can’t be by himself, which is so hard for a teenager, and Fairy lets him be by himself-”
"Wei Ying."
"Yeah? What's the matter, why are you looking at me like that? I told you, I'm fi"-
To his horror, Wei WuXian suddenly felt something warm slipping down his cheeks, and he froze, the rest of his words dying in his throat. He reached up and touched his cheek to make sure he wasn't imagining things, but no, there really were tears there. He hadn't realized he'd been scared enough to cry, and the urge to hide his face in shame was overwhelming.
Before he could do anything though, like the miracle that he was, Lan WangJi figured out exactly what he needed and pulled him into his arms. Wei WuXian accepted his touch for the briefest of moments, before his shame grew even more and he gently tried to back away, pushing against Lan WangJi's chest and saying, “No, don't. I’m being ridiculous, you don’t have to do this. I’ll calm down in a bit, I always do.”
Lan WangJi didn't say a word, nor did he let go. Though Wei WuXian was pushing at him, he was still trembling, and his fingers were clutching at his shirt. So, as carefully as he could manage, he lowered both of them to the floor, Wei WuXian following him without much resistance, and pulled him even closer. Wei WuXian couldn't take this; Lan WangJi could see that his legs were still shaking and so he had sat both of them down, knew what he needed even before Wei WuXian seemed to. A new wave of tears completely unrelated to his fear swelled before spilling forth, and he leaned forward, hiding his face in the other man's shoulder, breath hitching.
"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," he whispered hoarsely. "Why are you so good to me?"
Lan WangJi turned his face towards the side of his head and pushed his nose into his hair. "Because you deserve it. I will protect you from now on."
Wei WuXian couldn't help but snort, the sound clogged and wet. He shook his head fondly, though he still kept his face hidden as he said, “Oh Lan Zhan. Jiang Cheng is going to be so happy to hear he doesn’t have to chase off dogs for me anymore.”
An hour later, the two of them had moved from the floor to Lan WangJi’s bed. Wei WuXian hadn’t budged from the other man’s arms at all; if anything, he was pressed even closer. Both of them had removed their shoes and belts, and Wei WuXian had taken off his lab coat. They laid on top of the quilt, the doctor’s face tucked into the space between Lan WangJi’s neck and shoulder. He didn’t have to say anything. Once again, Lan WangJi knew what he needed, hence why he’d brought him here. And at the moment, what he needed was to calm down from his fright by hiding in the silky curtain of Lan WangJi’s hair and listening to the white noise of his body working.
He could feel Wei WuXian’s warm breaths against his neck, feel the strength born from anxiety in his arms as they held Lan WangJi’s waist. So, he remained as still as stone, waiting for Wei WuXian to either fall asleep or tell him that he felt better now. Whatever he needed, he would be there.
Slowly but surely, his partner’s breathing slowed down, and he stopped trembling, growing heavier in his arms. He stroked his hair, pulling it away from Wei WuXian’s face and neck with the hand the other man was laying on. He was becoming so warm, so pliant, slowly but surely relaxing, and it was all thanks to Lan WangJi. Once again, he couldn’t help but feel proud of himself, able to accomplish what few others could. Not only that, but Wei WuXian allowed him to do so, even sought him out for comfort. Lan WangJi practically preened from this knowledge.
Lan WangJi chanced lifting his head the smallest bit so that he could gaze at him. Wei WuXian’s eyes were closed, dark eyelashes fanning over his flushed cheeks. His eyes wandered further down, over the curve of his neck to the dip of his waist so that he could watch Wei WuXian’s diaphragm gently rise and fall as he breathed. Once more, he found himself pondering over how good the other man looked in his bed, how, under the right circumstances, perhaps he could convince Wei WuXian to spend an entire weekend here with him.
Something warm and soft unfurled pleasantly in his chest at the thought. Yes, that would be nice. Perhaps they could have a repeat of that weekend where all they did was sleep, watch movies and cuddle. But maybe this time around, since they were dating, there could be some changes. Maybe they could do some kissing, or even some making out, if he was lucky.
Would he teach him how he liked to be kissed? Touched? He hoped so. Lan WangJi had no experience with this sort of thing, and he didn’t want to make any mistakes. He already knew Wei WuXian liked having his hair stroked. What else did he like, he wondered? What else did he find pleasurable? Would he let Lan WangJi find out?
His thoughts screeched to a halt, and he shook his head, chastising himself. Now was not the time to be thinking those things. Wei WuXian needed him to be focused on taking care of him, and not in that way.
Sighing, he tried to recenter himself, chancing another glance down at the other man’s face, only for his heart to trip over itself when he saw that his eyes were open and watching him intently. Lan WangJi blinked, feeling as though he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. To his shock though, Wei WuXian no longer looked frightened, nor did he even look sleepy. His expression was intrigued, his eyes focused on Lan WangJi’s forehead.
Then, suddenly, his lips curled into a grin full of teeth that both frightened Lan WangJi and, dare he say it, did other things to him as well. But hopefully Wei WuXian wouldn’t be able to tell-
“Your forehead is fuchsia,” the other man pointed out. “Did I ever tell you what that means?” He pushed himself up onto his elbows, leaning in a little closer. “It’s reading the fact that there’s an influx of testosterone, oxytocin and vasopressin in your blood.”
-Shit.
“W-Which means?” he dared to ask.
“It means you’re horny, Lan WangJi. Who would have thought you had it in you, as upstanding as you are.”
The other man looked so scandalized, his forehead turning to dark green so fast that Wei WuXian burst into a fit of giggles. Lan WangJi narrowed his eyes at him.
Once he recovered, Wei WuXian’s shoulders shook a few times as the last few laughs left him, before sobering up, tilting his head at him. “You know, no one else knows what the fuchsia light means. Not your brother, your son, no one. Just you, me and Wen Ning. Unlike Wen Ning though, you still don’t have a way to…express yourself. Oh don’t worry though, it’s in the works. You’re going to have to have it soon enough.”
Lan WangJi watched him carefully, his heart quickening at the change in his voice. It was lower, smoother, and more teasing. Intrigued, he didn’t back away when Wei WuXian leaned further in until his lips were right next to his ear.
"I wonder how you'll react?" he whispered. "What's going to be the level of sensitivity output? Will it be like your hands and it'll be too much for you at first? So much that you won’t be able to take it?”
Lan WangJi slowly turned his head to look at him, his lips in a tight line. His forehead was flickering between fuchsia and dark green, and his golden eyes were practically glowing in the low light. Wei WuXian’s shit eating grin only grew; the other man didn’t have to say a thing. It was obvious what he was thinking.
“You know, since I designed your body, I know exactly what makes it tick,” he mentioned, deciding to poke the beast a little more. “I know where all of your most sensitive spots are. And sometimes, when I let my mind wander, either at work or at home, I wonder how you might react when I touch them. You don’t strike me as the type to be very vocal. But perhaps if I work hard enough, if I touch you just right, I can change that”-
“Wei Ying,” he hissed.
But of course, his annoyance just made Wei WuXian crack up again. The brat. He wasn’t going to get anywhere by getting mad of him. So, Lan WangJi changed his tune, his eyes becoming heavy lidded. He delicately took hold of Wei WuXian’s chin, thoroughly surprising the other man and wiping the smile right off his face. He brought him close enough that their noses nearly brushed, his eyes a warm amber.
“Wei Ying, be merciful,” he said softly, adding just the tiniest edge of vulnerability to his voice. “You have the advantage. You know my body very well already. Perhaps...sometime, you will tell me what makes you feel good?”
Wei WuXian’s mouth opened and shut several times, his tongue suddenly as dry as sand. His head was completely empty of thoughts, and for once, he was at a loss as to how to reply. To make things worse, Lan WangJi stroked over his bottom lip and brought their faces even closer, so close that when he spoke again, their lips almost touched when he said certain words.
In a heated whisper, Lan WangJi admitted, “You’re not the only one who has had certain…daydreams at work.”
Wei WuXian’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and then he laughed nervously. “Well then, Lan Zhan. Maybe you’d be interested in sharing some of those daydreams?”
Ah, he was trying to regain control of the conversation, trying to embarrass Lan WangJi again. Well, Lan WangJi could play his game, and he could play it well. He opened his mouth, but before he could utter any words, the phone rang.
Both of them froze. It was Lan WangJi’s phone, vibrating and screaming on the nightstand. They glanced over at it, Lan WangJi glaring daggers. However, his glare disappeared a moment later when he saw that it was Lan Sizhui calling. He sighed, “I’m sorry. If it was anyone else, I would ignore it.”
“No, I get it,” Wei WuXian said with a smile. “Go ahead. I have a feeling it won’t be the first time he interrupts us.”
Lan WangJi’s face grew pained, and the other man laughed, the sound continuing even when he picked up.
Notes:
So funny thing, but the time I got to the end of my outline for this chapter, the chapter was too short, so I went, "Joshua what else would you like to stick in this chapter" because my first thought was more cuddles, and I don't want ya'll to get bored of that. But I guess Joshua is a slutty gremlin for cuddles as well because that's exactly what he proposed xD He also chose the chapter title, so I thank him for that :3
Fyi, you guys are gonna love chapter 21 and I can't wait to see what art Joshua is going to throw out there for that, he already teased that he's going to create something...very nice ehehe.
Btw guys, I've had an idea for a Foxxian/Dragonji fic for a while now. Would you all be interested in seeing me take a stab at the genre? I know there's a million fics out there like it, but the concept draws me in, and I haven't been able to find a fic that I like, so I'd like to try my own hand at it :3
Joshua says: "Would you guys believe me if I said this chapter was done even when at the hospital because nothing can stop us from making borgji chapters and feed you all with Wangxian and their trademark flirting? I hope you guys enjoy the teasing this chapter offer~~~ it sure was satisfying to read, despite having a catheter and numerous tests."
Chapter 19: I Want to Know What Love Is
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan WangJi did a wonderful job of calming him down, he really did. Which was why Wei WuXian felt so guilty that he was still jittery and anxious. He couldn’t help it though. This usually happened whenever he had an encounter with a dog, good or bad. Just like all those times, he remained on high alert for the rest of the day, keeping his music low, as if preparing for the dogs to come back even though logically they couldn’t come back. He’d locked the lab door, so unless the dogs grew thumbs, he was perfectly safe.
For the rest of the afternoon, he debated whether or not to head home, and by the time the evening rolled around and he still felt on edge, he made up his mind. When he told Lan WangJi his decision, his partner looked dubious. Any time Wei WuXian mentioned he wanted to go home, more specifically, go home alone, alarm bells would go off in his head.
“Are you sure?” Lan WangJi asked, placing a hand on his back.
“I’m sure,” he said, smiling. But his smile wasn’t genuine; it didn’t reach his eyes. It made Lan WangJi uneasy to see. “I just can’t be here right now. I have to get away.”
“But I’d”- he tried.
“I know you said you’d protect me,” Wei WuXian said. He turned around and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tightly. “I appreciate it. I do. But I need a break, okay? I promise I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Lan WangJi hesitated for a moment, and then squeezed him back. He didn’t think Wei WuXian fully understood how fragile of a state he was in. Or maybe he did, and he was so embarrassed by the fact that Lan WangJi had seen him frightened like that that he was trying to make up for it by showing him how strong he was. Like, I wasn’t as scared as I looked, really. See? I’m okay, so okay in fact that I’m going to go home and spend the whole evening alone.
He sighed. Being alone when you’ve been traumatized afresh is one of the worst experiences Lan WangJi could think of. But he wouldn’t push him, and if this was what he thought he needed, then so be it. He pulled back slightly from the embrace so he could look at the other man, saying gently, “Mn, alright. But if you change your mind, my room is always open. If you want to crawl into my bed, that’s fine. Not just tonight, but any night you need company.”
“Ahhhh,” Wei WuXian groaned, shoving his face back into Lan WangJi’s chest. He mumbled, “Lan Zhan, you can’t just say things like that! You can’t be that nice to me.”
“I’m your boyfriend. It’s my job.”
“No! You’re awful, the worst! Please have mercy on my poor heart!”
“No.”
There was a little more playful bickering and grumbling, before Wei WuXian finally kissed him goodnight and peeled himself away from him. He got into his car without looking back and drove home, trying not to dwell on what a fool he was.
Surprise, surprise, even with a change in environment, Wei WuXian found that he couldn’t calm down, not even slightly. If anything, his wariness of shadows was even worse and he was jumping even more frequently at every little creak and groan the walls made. He had been in the middle of making himself dinner when he heard one of his neighbors’ dogs bark, and that had about sent him into a meltdown. He abandoned his food in the microwave and dove into one of his closets, hiding behind all of his clothes and pressing himself into a corner.
He was too frightened to feel ashamed of the fact that he pressed his hands over his ears like a child and curled in on himself, all the while whispering, “Please stop, please, I can’t take this anymore, I can’t. Why did I leave, why...”
By the time he gathered up the courage to leave the closet, his food had long since gone cold and the sun was beginning to set.
He didn’t even bother trying to settle down for bed. He went through the motions, taking a shower and brushing his teeth, but when it came time to go to sleep, he instead found himself pacing around his apartment like a caged animal, wringing his hands and tugging at his hair. The urge to run was overwhelming, but there was nothing to run from. Naturally, this was the perfect recipe for another panic attack, and it didn’t take long before his chest started to feel tight and his limbs ached. He stayed near the bathroom in case the stress made him vomit.
Of course, he resigned himself to the fact that this would most likely be another one of those nights. It was alright, he was used to it. He could handle this. He’d been doing it for years. He could either find something to do, or just stay up and watch t.v. As long as he had some sort of distraction, he could make it through the night.
But…he really needed the sleep.
Unbidden, once again, Lan WangJi and how he’d stopped his panic dead in its tracks by holding him and stroking his hair until they both fell asleep popped into his head. Just the thought of those gentle fingers against his scalp and the smell of sandalwood washed away some of the adrenaline building up in his chest. With the other man, he’d felt so safe, safer than he could remember being since he was a child. He wanted…he wanted- and Lan WangJi had offered-
No. He shook his head. It didn’t matter that Lan WangJi had told him it was okay for him to crawl into his bed any day any time. If he took him up on that offer, he would just come across as being needy at best, and a huge creepy pain in the ass at worst. Lan WangJi had to have been joking when he suggested that, right?
Wei WuXian paused in the middle of the floor, gripping the bottom of his pajama shirt and staring out the window, whining in frustration. Should he do what was comfortable, what was proper, and deal with the problem himself? Lan WangJi didn’t deserve to be burdened by his problems.
Again, those intrusive thoughts entered his head again. Thoughts of how when Lan WangJi had offered his room as a safe place, his forehead hadn’t flashed any colors that would indicate he was just kidding. So…maybe he’d been telling the truth? Was he willing to take that risk to trust him?
He scrubbed down his face with a heavy sigh. Well, it was either sit here and freak out all night, or go back to the lab. Yes, the idea made him uneasy, but he could hardly afford to be afraid of being in his own lab. He had to get over himself.
Still in his pajamas, Wei WuXian finally admitted defeat. He put on some slippers, grabbed his keys, and stuffed himself in his car. And for the entire trip down, he kept telling himself, Turn around, turn around now! You're being a needy idiot! This is something a child would do, running to another person for comfort when you should be able to calm yourself down. What is wrong with you?
Nonetheless, he parked at Lanling Jin and snuck into the lab, cursing himself the entire time, avoiding the cameras as much as he could. Even if security did see him, he was sure he was so pale and moving oddly enough that they might confuse him for a ghost.
When he reached Lan WangJi's room and slowly opened the door, the only spot of light was the other man's forehead and the light coming from his chest and back, dimmer than normal because it was obscured by his shirt. His forehead was dark blue, and Wei WuXian frowned, glancing at the digital clock on the nightstand. It was nearing one in the morning. Shouldn't he be deeply asleep by now? Why was he just dozing? Was...Was he having a hard time sleeping tonight too?
Now Wei WuXian felt even more horrible because oh God, his presence was just going to make it harder for Lan WangJi to sleep. He was so inconsiderate, so selfish, what was wrong with him? He should leave, he should-
But...he had come all this way, and the thought of going home again was physically painful. Especially since comfort was literally a couple feet away from him.
He hesitated for a few more minutes, anxiety squirming around hotly in his chest. The only sounds in the room were the sound of his own breathing, his heart beating in his ears, and Lan WangJi's body humming. Finally, he carefully pulled back the blankets on the empty side of the bed before climbing in. It certainly was difficult to do so without jostling the mattress, but somehow he managed.
And suddenly, once he was actually in bed with Lan WangJi, once he registered his familiar smell and felt the heat of his body, all of his reservations flew out the window. He scooted as close as he could, tucking his head under the other man's chin and lifting one of his heavy arms up before draping it over his waist, burrowing against him so tightly one would need a crowbar to separate them.
The instant he settled in and held still, he could feel his heart rate slowing down and the anxiety slowly draining out of his body. He sighed, reveling in the miracle of the shakiness leaving his limbs and the nausea dissipating from his stomach. Lan WangJi was like a miracle cure for panic attacks. How had he lived this long without him, he wondered?
Wei WuXian started in surprise when he heard Lan WangJi groan tiredly above him, the other man scooting a little closer towards him, slowly registering that there was someone in bed with him. Wei WuXian held stock still while his partner began feeling around his head in heavy, halting motions, searching for something. It took him a minute to figure it out, but when he did, he huffed a laugh. Lan WangJi was trying to pet his hair, but kept missing his goal by a mile.
Gently, Wei WuXian took his roaming hand and held it between them, where it twitched for a moment and then laid still. Then, his insides just about melted and turned into mush when he felt Lan WangJi nuzzle the top of his head with his nose and mumble, “M’here,” into his hair.
“I know you are,” Wei WuXian whispered fondly.
With that, Lan WangJi grew quiet and his breathing evened out a moment later, clearly content now that he had his bedmate back. Wei WuXian sighed and closed his eyes.
“I know you are,” he repeated, more to himself this time.
The sound of Lan WangJi’s breathing and his reactor humming lulled him to sleep in no time at all.
However, just as wonderful as falling asleep next to the other man was waking up with him still there. Lan WangJi couldn’t believe Wei WuXian was here; he’d actually listened, actually sought him out when he was upset. His heart felt so warm that he swore the heat traveled right up into his face, turning his forehead a bright yellow.
When Wei WuXian opened his eyes, he was met with that yellow forehead light illuminating an immensely fond gaze. Wei WuXian blinked heavily, his vision fuzzy, his brain still more asleep than awake. His eyes were only half-open when he smiled and murmured, “Morning.”
Oh God, Lan WangJi thought, he was so cute. So cute that he couldn’t take it. He reached out and brushed errant hair from Wei WuXian’s face, echoing back, “Morning.”
Wei WuXian’s smile only grew, and he mimicked his actions, pushing the other man’s mussed hair behind his ears. “I like waking up in bed with you like this. I could get used to it.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead became even brighter, and the light from it shone in his eyes as well. He must have liked the suggestion, because he leaned forward and started sleepily covering his face in kisses, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Wei WuXian laughed, overjoyed, pulling him even closer.
Later that afternoon, Lan WangJi strolled into the lab, Wei WuXian greeted him with a grin, only for it to fly off his face and be replaced with open shock when he saw the wince that appeared on his face with every step he took. Wei WuXian threw down what he was working on and jogged over to him.
“What the hell happened, are you okay?” he asked.
“Work sent me home,” Lan WangJi explained.
“What the fuck, why?”
He shrugged. “Coworker was rearranging a book display on a high shelf. Books came tumbling down on her. I covered her body with mine.”
Wei WuXian sighed in exasperation, slapping a palm to his forehead. “Oh Lan Zhan, what am I going to do with you?” He raised his head, shaking his head. “Damn, who knew libraries would need such serious safety measures in place?”
He took his face in his hands, Lan WangJi’s forehead turning pink at the contact. Wei WuXian stroked his cheeks with his thumbs. “But oh my God, amazing, look at you. So strong and brave.”
He eyed him in such a way that made Lan WangJi pause and look at him; Wei WuXian’s gaze was heavy, full of something that he couldn’t quite name but was very welcome. He felt heat swirl in his stomach, and he found he had to fight the urge to bite his lip. He huffed an amused laugh, holding Wei WuXian’s stare until the other man broke it and coughed awkwardly.
“Yes, well,” he stammered, “Alright then. Strip, I’ll take a look. Hopefully your heroic deed will make it so that Mingjue goes easier on me when I beg him for extra back plates. That and the fact he’s dating your brother and now you’re dating me means he has to be nicer by default. I didn’t plan for things to go this way but I’m not complaining. I must be smarter than I thought- oh my God.”
The last bit was spoken as a high-pitched squeak, because not only was Lan WangJi removing his shirt, but when he heard him say “strip,” he thought Wei WuXian meant for him to take off everything, so a moment later, he started to slip off his pants too. It had been a long time since he had seen Lan WangJi completely naked, and though yes, he’d designed his body and knew what it looked like probably better than Lan WangJi did, but the fact that they were dating now of course changed how he looked at him drastically. The connotation was…much different.
Lan WangJi paused when he heard his squeak, though his back was turned to him. He kept his pants suspended just under his rear as he said, “You can take a picture. It’ll last longer.”
Heat filled Wei WuXian’s face, and he mumbled, “Shut up.”
His fingers twitched towards his pocket, before he gave in and did just that, pulling out his phone and quickly snapping a photo, just as Lan WangJi pulled his pants all the way off. His hair was swept over his shoulder and Wei WuXian swore that the other man cocked his hip the smallest amount, as if he was trying to show off his best…assets.
Wei WuXian was going to kill him.
Nie Mingjue, as much as he became irritated when Wei WuXian came into his lab, didn’t like going into the other man’s lab either. It felt very much like entering a dragon’s cave and he had just about as much chance of coming out unscathed, either physically or mentally. He could only imagine things were only going to get even worse since the two had started dating, especially considering the nature of the reason he was heading to Wei WuXian’s lab in the first place today.
He didn’t bother knocking because with the radio blasting, Wei WuXian wouldn’t hear it anyway. So, he just walked in and shouted, “Wei WuXian! I was just passing by and thought I’d let you know I got the parts for”-
He paused when he noticed Lan WangJi was sitting over on the couch. Wei WuXian turned down the music and turned around to face him. Nie Mingjue figured why not, Wei WuXian had embarrassed him plenty in the past, and continued with, “-your boyfriend’s junk.”
Wei WuXian smiled in a way that turned Nie Mingjue’s stomach, before he leaned back against his work bench, folded his arms and said, “Sweet deal. And hey, just think, this could be the start of something great. Someday when you’re old and your dick doesn’t work anymore, you could be fucking his brother with one of these.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead turned burnt sienna and he wrinkled his nose the same instant Nie Mingjue turned purple with rage and he burst out, “WEI WUXIAN!”
“Yes?” the doctor taunted. “What are you gonna do? We’re not in your lab, you can’t throw a hammer at me.”
A second later, a shoe came flying at his face that Wei WuXian only just managed to dodge, laughing the entire time. Lan WangJi dropped his forehead into his hand and contemplated why he was so infatuated with this man.
Nie Mingjue left Wei WuXian’s lab, wearing only one shoe while holding the other, earning some strange looks from passersby. However, it appeared his troubles weren’t over today, because upon returning to his own lab, he saw that several of the interns were gathered around the doorway, watching something. This was odd because as far as he knew, no one was in the lab, considering it was lunch time.
So, he approached, asking gruffly, “What’s going on here?”
Several heads turned in his direction, some of them afraid, but even more of them looked worried. One answered, “Jin Ling’s dog ran into your lab and now he’s stuck under something. Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen have been working for twenty minutes trying to get him out.”
“Oh for fuck’s- why didn’t one of you call for help?” Nie Mingjue growled. “It’d be my fault if one of you lost a finger in there! Move it!”
They all jumped and hastily complied, their eyes wide with fear. Once they had parted, he pushed past them into his lab, only to see that yes, the four young men in question were crowding around a frame he was working on. They were panting, hands on their knees, sweat on their foreheads.
“It’s no use,” Ouyang Zizhen panted. “That frame weighs as much as Jingyi after buffet night.”
“Fuck you,” Lan Jingyi snapped.
Lan Sizhui offered, “Let’s go get help. I’ll bet my dad would be able to lift this no problem.”
“No!” Jin Ling snarled. “I’m not giving up! I can get him out of there. If you guys don’t want to help, then move!”
“Jin Ling…” Lan Sizhui said placatingly. “Hold on. How about”-
“How about you four shits get out of my way?” Nie Mingjue interrupted, appearing in front of them like some avenging god of doom, lightning crackling around him.
When the boys heard his booming voice, they all leapt straight in the air with a shriek, but hastily moved to do what he said. Grumbling to himself about what a pain in the ass this whole situation was, Nie Mingjue stomped over to them and knelt down, looking underneath the frame.
Yup, there was Fairy, the dog’s leash caught under the heavy weight of the frame he had been working on that morning. He was whining and trembling, that trembling only increasing when Nie Mingjue’s face appeared, and he supposed he didn’t blame the dog. He must have looked a sight.
When he determined where Fairy was, he stood back up again, and bent his knees, grabbing the bottom of the frame firmly. He took a few deep breaths, before finally standing up. The frame slowly rose with a creak.
Muscles bulging beneath his sleeves, Nie Mingjue ground out, “Grab him, quick!”
Jing Ling didn’t hesitate, diving under the frame and grabbing Fairy’s leash. He quickly backed up, the other interns helping him move faster by grabbing him around his waist and pulling. Fairy was swiftly yanked out with a scrape of nails against the floor and wide eyes.
Once everyone was clear of the frame, Nie Mingjue let go of it and it fell back on the floor with a grunt of effort and a loud clank. When everything was still again, he eyed the interns, the only sound in the room being him panting from the exertion.
The interns, both inside the lab and out, all suddenly exploded into a cacophony of “Whoa!” and “That was so awesome, how did you do that?” He could have sworn he heard Lan Jingyi say under all the noise, “Yeah he’s awesome, but he’s no Lan WangJi.”
Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes, before waving his hand towards the door before pointing towards it, “Alright, the lot of you get out of my sight. Go on, scram!”
There was a lot of scrabbling and skittering as both the interns and Fairy got to their feet and zoomed away, still oohing and ah-ing over how cool Nie Mingjue had been, telling each other they needed to start hitting the gym so they could get that buff.
Nie Mingjue shook his head at them. Well, if that wasn’t a sign that he needed to start locking the lab door before he left than he didn’t know what was.
Suddenly, his phone dinged, and he pulled it out of his pocket. When he looked at the screen, he saw that he had a message from Lan XiChen that read, Do I detect a hint of showing off?
He raised an eyebrow at his phone, confused, at least until he heard an amused laugh in the doorway. Nie Mingjue looked up to see Lan XiChen standing there in same place the juniors had once been, except unlike them, he was a very welcome sight.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket, smiling in greeting. “Nah, I was just doing what I had to. No big deal.”
“Oh, but it is,” Lan XiChen insisted, crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him. “I’d say because of your actions, that my plans for the next hour have just changed drastically.”
He walked right into Nie Mingjue’s arms, wrapping his own around the other man’s waist and smiling up at him cheekily. Nie Mingjue lowered his face to his, before cupping his cheeks and pulling him even closer. Lan XiChen licked his nose impishly.
“What?” he offered as an explanation. “You like to call me kitten. I can’t lick you like one?”
At hearing the nickname he often moaned into the other man’s ear when they were in their bedroom, his eyes darkened. Lan XiChen laughed at his reaction, knowing exactly what he’d done.
“Now,” he suggested, trailing a finger down Nie Mingjue’s chest, “how’s about you use those muscles on me now? Maybe you could lift me up on one of those empty tables and…?”
Nie Mingjue swallowed hard, staring unblinkingly, intensely into Lan XiChen’s eyes, quickly mumbled, “Fuck it,” and then did as he asked, grabbing Lan XiChen underneath his butt and hefting him up. His partner threw his head back, laughing.
It was probably a good thing that no one passed by the lab for the next hour, because more than likely they would have heard two enthusiastic sets of moans, as if them telling the other they needed to be quiet just made them louder.
The next day after work, Wei WuXian was in a very good mood, obvious to anyone who passed by and saw him dancing in front of his work bench and singing along to the radio, which was turned up so loud that Wen Qing actually came in and yelled at him to turn it down. Of course, he responded by turning it up even louder and shouting, “What, sorry? I can’t hear you over my radio.”
It was a miracle he was still alive after that, actually.
The only reason she might have spared his life was because, somewhere deep down, she was happy to see him this way. It was amazing to him how he was more often than not in high spirits, and how he actually paid attention to the clock as it ticked the minutes by. The perpetual smile that always seemed to be on his face only grew. Before, he hadn’t seen the point; the evening and late hours was just more time that could be used for him to catch up on his ever-growing mountain of work. But now, he had someone waiting for him to make it all worth it.
It was so hard to resist turning around when he heard Lan WangJi’s footsteps enter the lab. However, the reward of doing so was well worth it, he’d found out. And like previous times, the other man didn’t disappoint. Lan WangJi came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, gently headbutting him between his shoulder blades like an affectionate cat. Wei WuXian laughed and put his tools down, turning his head so that he could look at him over his shoulder.
“What, you want attention?” he asked indulgently.
"Mn," Lan WangJi hummed.
Wei WuXian snorted at the simple, direct answer. He pushed his goggles up on top of his head, turned around in his hold and then gently took his face in his hands, lifting it so that he was looking him in the eye. Lan WangJi leaned in little further until he was caging him against the work bench with his arms, forehead bright pink and his eyes large and sweetly pitiful. Wei WuXian stroked his cheeks with his thumbs and then squished them together, growling playfully, “Gah, you’re so needy and so cute. How can you stand yourself?”
Well, Lan WangJi had never thought of himself as "cute" before, nor did he think he had the capabilities to be so. But he found he quite liked hearing Wei WuXian call him that, and so he played it up, pressing their foreheads together and nuzzling what he could reach of his face with his nose. Then, he started kissing all over Wei WuXian's face, quick little pecks that made his partner laugh and grip him around his shoulders.
"Ugh, Lan Zhan, I better be careful not to indulge you too much like this or you're going to become spoiled," Wei WuXian said.
"Too late," Lan WangJi replied, and then tilted his head so he could kiss him properly.
Wei WuXian breathed a laugh through his nose, pulling him closer, welcoming him into his space. The kisses started off brief and sweet, both of them discovering all the dumbest ways they could connect their lips without it being an actual kiss. At one point, Wei WuXian stuck out his tongue and just stared at him before Lan WangJi slowly pushed it back into his mouth with his pointer finger. At another point, Lan WangJi softly bit the other man's nose in retaliation for laughing instead of kissing him correctly as he wanted, which led Wei WuXian to grumble, "You're right, you have become spoiled."
Lan WangJi rolled his eyes and responded with another kiss, slower this time, and finally proper. And once more Wei WuXian was helpless to deny him, not when his desire to do more work was dwindling. Besides, it was getting close to the end of the day, and he couldn't think of anything he could finish in between now and then.
His partner moved a step closer, forcing Wei WuXian to lean back. However, he could only hold that pose for a little while before his back started to ache, so he pulled back, shoved the bits and bobs on his bench aside to make room, and hopped up on it, before wrapping his arms back around Lan WangJi's shoulders. Lan WangJi stared at him for a moment, processing their positions; Wei WuXian was slightly under him, color high in his cheeks, lips kissed a dark pink. His eyes were practically sparkling, and he was looking at Lan WangJi simultaneously like he was wondering what kind of mischief he could get up to while they were like this, and also like he was having the time of his life. And, if he wasn't mistaken, there was also the smallest tinge of wonder peeking out from the corners of his eyes and mouth, like he couldn't believe that he had someone that wanted to push him onto a work bench and kiss him every which way. Like he still couldn't fathom that this was real.
Lan WangJi pressed his lips against his, feeling those arms tighten around his neck, bunching up his hair and jostling the long earrings he wore, saying silently, It's real. I'm real. I'm here.
Wei WuXian once more breathed a laugh against his lips, and when he pulled away, he was giggling like a naughty child. Lan WangJi was about to ask what he was on about, until he saw him reach behind himself and start fiddling around with the radio, flicking through stations.
"If we're going to make out, we're doing it properly," he explained. "And the only way to make out properly is with cheesy love songs playing in the background."
"Of course," Lan WangJi agreed.
"See, and this is why I'm dating you, because you understand that."
"No other reason?"
"Nope, not a one."
Again, Lan WangJi bit him in retaliation, but this time it was the top of his ear. When he tugged on it as Wei WuXian kept fiddling with the radio, the other man wanted to know, "What are you, a dog? If you are, you're a very impatient one."
As he settled on the song, “I Want to Know What Love Is,” Lan WangJi frowned, because that hadn’t been the response he was hoping for. Perhaps he should try a different tactic? But which one? Hmm...well, besides acting cute he could always try...
He saw his forehead flash the briefest shade of fuchsia in the reflection of Wei WuXian's goggles, and a thrill raced through him. Yes, he could try that route. He could show Wei WuXian that he wasn't the only one that could be a passionate tease.
So, Lan WangJi let go of his ear to nuzzle his nose in the space behind it, breath tickling in tiny puffs over the thin skin. Wei WuXian's thick curtain of hair brushed over his nose, and Lan WangJi, though he tried not to make it obvious, inhaled his scent deeply until he could feel his stomach tingling from the rush it gave him. He’d always enjoyed how the other man smelled when he passed by, or when they laid in bed together. But now, to be able to go directly to the source, he could hardly believe how dizzy it made him feel, how now he just wanted to do everything with Wei WuXian all at once, things he couldn’t even name.
Of course, while he was having this revelation, Wei WuXian couldn’t shut up, even now.
“I don’t know if it’s true or not,” he said, laying his hand on the back of Lan WangJi’s head, “but I read somewhere that when you like how someone smells, it means they have an immune system almost the complete opposite of yours. And that means whatever kids you have will have a well-rounded immune system. Like, ‘Hell yeah, you smell good, let’s make some healthy ass kids.’ Like, I love how you smell too, it’s- Oh hello!”
The last couple of words were said in a high-pitched squeak, Wei WuXian’s spine jolting from a relaxed curve into a straight line when Lan WangJi began kissing down his neck. He laughed and started running his fingers through Lan WangJi’s hair. “Oh that’s- yeah that’s nice, you can keep doing that if you want. Only if you want! It tickles, like it’s making the roof of my mouth tingle, but I like it. I wonder if that’s normal? Is there something wrong with mmf!”
He was cut off by Lan WangJi covering his lips with his own in a kiss so deep that the other man’s nose dug into his cheek. His partner cared about him very much, he did. He’d bring down the moon for him if he’d asked, but even he had limits to his patience. And though he loved listening to Wei WuXian talk, at the moment, he really wished he’d get the hint and use his mouth for other, more important things.
Thankfully, the more insistently Lan WangJi kissed him, the more Wei WuXian got the message and became more focused on the task at hand. His back arched, and he wrapped his legs around Lan WangJi’s waist, crossing his ankles over his lower back. Lan WangJi hummed in approval at this gesture, taking a step closer. He reached up a hand and rested it on his partner’s chest, appreciating the heat and the fact that he could feel the rapid rise and fall of it as he breathed. Wei WuXian wondered if he could feel his heart pounding too. He thrusted his chest closer to Lan WangJi in encouragement, and Lan WangJi received the message loud and clear. He unbuttoned the first two buttons on Wei WuXian’s shirt before pulling the collar open. He could feel Wei WuXian smiling against his lips.
“Look at that fine motor control,” he said. “Very good job.”
For some reason, this made Lan WangJi pause, and Wei WuXian wonder if he’d said something wrong. However, before he could apologize, Lan WangJi suddenly dove back in with new enthusiasm, pulling Wei WuXian’s shirt aside until his shoulder and most of his collarbone was exposed. He buried his nose into the crook of his shoulder, before Wei WuXian felt his warm tongue sweep over his skin. Again, he felt that burst of tingles in the roof of his mouth, and his hand in Lan WangJi’s hair squeezed reflexively. However, what really surprised him was when he felt the other man’s teeth graze his shoulder in a gentle bite, only leaving the faintest indentation of his teeth.
To Wei WuXian’s surprise, goosebumps exploded across his skin, and he felt a sharp spike of heat in his gut. Once again, he started laughing, though the sound was certainly more strained than it had been before, and he said, “Never would have taken you for a biter, Lan Zhan. Not that I mind! It’s just surprising.”
Funny, Lan WangJi hadn’t taken himself for a biter either, not until Wei WuXian’s bare skin had been laid out in front of him. He sighed, a heated, fond sound, the warm arm blowing across Wei WuXian’s damp skin. His partner shivered involuntarily at the ticklish sensation.
“It’s only the beginning of the things I’ve imagined doing with you,” Lan WangJi whispered in a low voice that resonated in his chest, right next to Wei WuXian’s ear.
“Oh sweet God,” Wei WuXian squeaked in a high pitched voice. Was it suddenly really hot in here or was that just him? His skin suddenly felt too tight, and heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat. He wondered if he would cough it up and it would fall to land on Wei WuXian’s lap between them. He should probably refrain from that, it would definitely ruin the whole mood.
However, the two of them had been enjoying themselves so much that they didn’t realize someone was in the doorway until they heard three pairs of embarrassed screams.
Before they could even process who was there, the two of them leapt apart, Wei WuXian pulling up his shirt collar to cover his shoulder again while Lan WangJi smoothed down his hair. Laughable on their part, considering there was no way they could pretend they weren’t just doing what they had been doing. Wei WuXian hastily slid off the bench, trying to fix his clothes, and while he did so, he shot hasty looks at the individuals that had interrupted them.
Turned out it was Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling, and all of them had various expressions on their faces. Lan Sizhui’s face was heavy with grim resignation and he was keeping his gaze respectfully averted, as if he had expected to run into this sort of thing someday but was really hoping he could avoid it. Wei WuXian couldn’t see Lan Jingyi’s face on account of the fact that he was covering it with his hands, peeking through his fingers. However, what he could see of it was tomato red.
But those two weren’t the ones that made Wei WuXian’s heart stutter in fear.
Because that award belonged to Jin Ling, who was scowling at the two of them in a way that was terrifyingly reminiscent of his father.
Notes:
Thank you Joshua for helping once more by coming up with that Nielan scene for me because I was once again at a loss :'D And thank him for the song choice in this chapter, it's incredible. I've always been critical of myself when it comes to writing more intimate scenes, and so I hope you guys enjoy this one.
Also, thank you very much for all the wonderful encouragement on that Foxxian fic, it totally bowled me away. I started writing an outline for it! I'll let you guys know if/when it's posted <3
Joshua says: "Eya guys, I've been pretty absent lately from social media because of hospitalisation, hard treatments, unable to draw and a catheter in my arm, so I apologies for that, but I hope that at least the chapter will bring smiles and good feelings everywhere and I thank Caro again for writing this and doing her very best always. It's so appreciated and all the support the story has gotten so far has been both heartwarming and amazing! Enjoy the Nielan treat of this chapter. the juniors and Wangxian starting to get into Fuschia territory :'D "
Chapter 20: I Knew I Loved You
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
For a moment, no one moved. No one said a word, no one hardly dared to even breathe. Then, Jin Ling left the room, his strides purposeful and full of anger. And Wei WuXian wasted no time in running after him, panic filling his chest, shortening his breath.
He caught up with him in the hall, grabbing his shoulder and, saying, "Jin Ling, hold on."
His nephew halted in his tracks and whipped around the face him, spitting, “What? Are you gonna tell me that wasn’t what it looked like?”
Wei WuXian hesitated, because that's exactly what he had been about to say. He thought about it for a minute, then decided on, “No, just where you’re going.”
"Does it matter?" Jin Ling snorted, crossing his arms.
"Uh, yes? People can't know about this."
“What do you mean 'people can’t know?' It looked like Lan Sizhui already did.”
"Well, yeah. He's Lan Zhan's son. It would be hard to hide it from him."
Jin Ling's eyes narrowed even further, deeper suspicion taking hold. “Is there anyone else that knows?”
For some reason, even though he knew he shouldn't, Wei WuXian felt the beginnings of guilt welling up in him. For he could swear that underneath the anger in the boy's voice, he could hear an undercurrent of hurt.
"Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang and his brother, and Lan XiChen. We’re only telling people we can trust. If word got out about this to the Jins…we could be in big trouble.”
Jin Ling's eyes softened, and his tone was slightly less angry when he asked, "Why?"
Wei WuXian was caught off guard by how touched he felt by his answer. Jin Ling liked to pretend he knew everything, even everything about how corrupt his family was. But his confusion was proof that he didn't, and the fact that he couldn't think of a reason why Lanling Jin would want to get rid of him was sweet. He sighed heavily, and told his nephew, “Well, worst case is I could lose my job. If I got lucky, the Jins would accuse me of being biased and forging that data we collect from Lan Zhan. They would insist on me keeping my distance from him while keeping a closer eye on both of us. Either way…”
A moment after Jin Ling processed what he said, his eyes narrowed into slits again and he bristled anew. “What, are you saying you didn’t trust me? I’m not important enough to tell?”
Taken aback, Wei WuXian hastily said, “That’s not- I didn’t tell your mother either because only those at Lanling Jin know that Lan WangJi exists at all”-
“Well I’m at Lanling Jin now too!" the boy burst out, jabbing a thumb towards his own chest. "I’m family! What, did you think I’d go to my father and tell him everything the minute I found out?”
The resulting silence and the fact that Wei WuXian averted his gaze to the floor said it all for Jin Ling. Slowly, very slowly, the anger bled from his face and transformed into pain, and seeing the boy he helped raise with that expression tore Wei WuXian up. He bowed his head and said softly, "I’m sorry. Part of me”-
But it looked like Jin Ling didn't want to hear any excuses he might have. He uncrossed his arms and balled his hands into fists at his sides, before saying in a low voice, “I can’t believe you. You should know me better than that. You helped raise me for fuck’s sake! I’d never…not to that piece of shit. Not when you and uncle have been more like fathers to me than he ever was…”
The doctor was about to reply, but the words dissolved on his tongue when he saw that Jin Ling's eyes had filled with tears. The boy was sniffling, and his words had become more and more watery before he could no longer get them out. His nose was red and running as well, and, mortified, he wiped it with his sleeve before reaching up and furiously doing the same to his eyes. Wei WuXian again felt his chest tighten, and out of habit born from years of doing so whenever his nephew cry, he pulled him into a gentle hug. Jin Ling tensed for a moment, before relaxing, and though he didn't hug him back, he accepted his touch. That was alright. Wei WuXian hadn't expected him to anyway. After messing up this badly, he didn't think he deserved it.
“I’m sorry," Wei WuXian murmured over his shoulder. "That was low of me. Is there…any way I can make it up to you?”
Jin Ling sniffed hard and hid his face in his uncle's shoulder, before he mumbled, “I guess Fairy scaring you the other day was a good punishment."
His uncle laughed and patted his back. Then, he felt the need to say, “If it’s any consolation, I think you’ve inherited more of your mom’s good traits than anything. And I mean, you can be a brat, but I’d say you get that more from Jiang Cheng.”
Jin Ling wriggled out of his arms before crossing his arms again with a haughty, "Hmph!"
“And holy shit you need to stop being so tall," Wei WuXian groaned. "I remember when I could carry you easily for hours and you'd beg me to pick you 'upsies', now you’re almost as tall as I am! Though I bet I could still carry you around if you asked.”
"Oh shut up!" Jin Ling said, his cheeks turning pink.
With a final pat to the back, much to the boy's annoyance, the two of them went their separate ways, Wei WuXian heading back to his lab with his head held a little higher and his chest looser. The minute he stepped through the door, Lan WangJi came over to him, his forehead green with worry. But Wei WuXian just smiled and nodded, and that was all it took for Lan WangJi's forehead to flicker to blue again.
“So," Lan Jingyi's teasing voice sounded beside them, his arms crossed. Lan Sizhui was standing next to him, smiling in amusement. "How much does uncle Lan Qiren hate you for kissing before marriage?”
Lan WangJi was standing on a precipice, logic trying to keep him safely standing on the cliff while curiosity threatened to push him off. The precipice was the doorway to Wei WuXian’s lab, and at the moment, logic was winning. A few years ago, logic would have won without question, but ever since he met Wei WuXian, he had been doing things he never would have dreamed of. Like going towards the loud bangs, cursing, and weird smells instead of deciding to leave well enough alone.
Once he shut the lab door behind him, Lan WangJi spent a minute trying to figure out what he had walked into today. As usual, Wei WuXian’s back was toward him and he was cussing at whatever he was bent over, threatening it and all of its descendants with death by a thousand cuts if it didn’t cooperate with him. But then a minute later he was muttering something like, “See, if you’d just listen to me, we could avoid this. Just get in the jar and stay there. Do you know how fucking expensive you are? You’re worth more than I am. Oh yeah sure just ignore me, pretend you’re deaf, I don’t care.”
Lan WangJi sighed.
Today the weird smell in the lab wasn’t particularly bad, which was why it struck him as odd. The smell of things burning or rotting he could understand. But what could he possibly be making in this lab that smelled like blueberry? And strawberry and other forms of berry? And…was that chocolate?
Thoroughly confused, he popped up behind Wei WuXian and peered over his shoulder, but as usual there was so much crap strewn across the table that he couldn’t hope to decipher any of it. He saw a glimpse of the jar Wei WuXian had been ranting about before, but the rest was covered by the other man’s sleeve.
It was only when Wei WuXian saw strands of Lan WangJi’s hair fall into the corner of his vision that he stopped what he was doing and glanced up at him before saying, “Ah, perfect! Just the person I wanted to see. I have something for you!”
Thus far, Wei WuXian’s presents had either been jewelry or upgrades, and since both had always been good things thus far, he couldn’t decide which he wanted more right now. His forehead shone yellow with anticipation, but when Wei WuXian thrusted the glass jar under his nose with an excited, “Ta da!” it flickered to a confused green. Inside the jar were a dozen small balls of various colors, kind of like the boba balls found in bubble tea. Some were black, some pink, blue, or even brown. They looked shiny, and from what he could tell, soft.
When Lan WangJi tilted his head, Wei WuXian picked one of the balls out of the jar, a pink one, and said, “Open your mouth.”
Of course, his partner hesitated, looking from the ball and the way Wei WuXian was squishing it between his thumb and pointer finger, to the other man’s face. Just then, Wei WuXian snorted and insisted teasingly, “Put my balls in your mouth, Lan Zhan. Do it.”
That was all it took for Lan WangJi to stare him dead in the eye and part his lips, not backing down from his teasing. The doctor placed the ball on his tongue, which couldn’t help but swipe against his fingertips as he retracted, causing Wei WuXian to yip and hold his hand against his chest, staring at Lan WangJi like he couldn’t believe his audacity.
He held it on his tongue, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. He rolled it over to his teeth, about to start chewing, but Wei WuXian stopped him with, “No wait, keep it on your tongue. Don’t swallow it either. It’ll dissolve in a bit on its own.”
Lan WangJi let the ball roll back onto his tongue and stood there, waiting…for what, he didn’t know. But sure enough, Wei WuXian was right, and the ball melted bit by bit, adhering to every available surface in his mouth. His eyebrows raised when he realized that it appeared to be water-based lubricant, and for a moment he worried if this would cause him any damage. But he wiped his doubts away a moment later. Wei WuXian wouldn’t be giving it to him if it posed even the slightest risk of hurting him.
Lan WangJi asked, “Why?”
Wei WuXian explained with a huge smile that came across as slightly creepy thanks to the fact that Lan WangJi couldn’t see his eyes thanks to the goggles. “No offense but kissing latex and plastic with only one of us producing saliva created a lot of friction that was uncomfortable as hell. So you now you have your own boba bubbles for whenever you want to make out!" He lifted the jar and tilted it so the balls rolled forward. “They’re all different flavors, and though you won’t be able to taste them, I certainly will. And…”
He beckoned Lan WangJi to come closer with his finger, and when the other man did so, Wei WuXian leaned in until his mouth was next to his ear, before whispering, “It can also act as lube for…other things. I even made it so it warms up on contact when it touches skin.”
He leaned back in time to see Lan WangJi’s forehead burst into dark green flames before turning bright fuchsia, and then back to green again. Wei WuXian snickered and then said, “Lan Zhan you’re so cute. Does it really take so little to turn you on? Are you from the twenties where all I need to do is blow in your ear and you’ll follow me anywhere?”
“Wei Ying,” Lan WangJi hissed.
Wei WuXian burst out laughing, clutching his stomach and bending over. When he stood up again, he said as he wiped a tear away from his eye, “I’m sorry Lan Zhan, but you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed! I wish I could say that this will be the last time but”-
Lan WangJi quickly cut him off by pressing his lips to his. It started off soft, but then slowly deepened, Wei WuXian humming curiously, appreciatively, when he poked his tongue in the other man’s mouth. When they parted, he said, “I’m a genius! Not that I didn’t already know that. But those balls work great! That kiss was so much better than all the others. Ooh, my lips are all tingly, Lan Zhan! It feels like there’s soda fizzing in them or something. Hmm, yeah I could see how that would feel good in…other places too, don’t you think?”
The pained glare Lan WangJi flashed him the same instant his forehead turned fuchsia was enough to get Wei WuXian laughing like a fiend all over again.
“Well that was a very heavy sigh,” Wei WuXian observed one morning when he arrived at work and saw Lan WangJi laying back on the couch, sulking. “What’s got you so down? Nie Huaisang didn’t happen to tell you about his weekend, did he?”
Lan WangJi shuddered and said, “No.”
“Oh thank God. Then what’s wrong? Is it something I need to kiss better?”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up pink, and Wei WuXian laughed in a way that suggested he knew exactly how cute he was and loved using it to his advantage. It took the other man a minute, but he finally mumbled out, “It’s silly.”
Wei WuXian rolled his eyes and went over to sit down next to him on the couch. He took Lan WangJi’s hand before saying, “How many times are we going to have to go through this? You can tell me what’s on your mind without putting yourself down first. Just like you never find my wants and needs silly, I don’t feel that way about yours either.”
Lan WangJi lowered his eyes sheepishly, and then squeezed Wei WuXian’s hand back. He took a deep breath, and said, “Alright. Then…” he took another deep breath, and when he spoke again, he sounded pained, like the words were full of needles and stabbed his tongue as they left him, “I want to go on a proper date with you.”
The doctor waited him to elaborate, but when he saw how torn up he looked, he figured that wasn’t going to happen. He clucked sympathetically and cooed, “Oh Lan Zhan, are you saying you wish we could go on a date somewhere outside of Lanling Jin?”
His partner pursed his lips, still looking guilty that he even dared to suggest that he wasn’t happy with how things were now, especially when he knew the rules. To want to break them over something as simple as wanting to take his boyfriend on a real date was ridiculous. Wei WuXian just shook his head fondly and shifted their hands so that he was holding one of Lan WangJi’s in between both of his.
“That’s not silly at all,” Wei WuXian said gently. “That’s a very normal thing to want. To be honest, I’ve fantasized about that a lot, taking you to all of my favorite places outside the building, and where you’d take me. Going to the park, to the fair, the beach. Showing you my apartment and all the stupid shit I have in there. So don’t worry, you’re not the only one.”
Lan WangJi regarded him curiously, watching as a dozen different emotions suddenly flickered across Wei WuXian’s face. He seemed to be thinking hard about something, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the floor in front of him. He would gasp in wonder, and then his brows would drop again before he started muttering, “But what if we- no no, too much traffic in that hallway.”
“Wei Ying?” he asked.
The other man mumbled to himself for a moment more, hardly hearing him, before he burst out with, “Okay! Okay, I think I know a way to sneak us both out of the building and then sneak back in before anyone notices we’re gone. It won’t be easy, but I know where all the blind spots in the cameras are.”
Lan WangJi gasped, hope suddenly rising up in him, before his expression fell flat when he processed Wei WuXian’s last sentence. “How?”
Wei WuXian just shrugged nonchalantly. “A combination of too much coffee, Red Bull, and time in the evenings. Also, Nie Huaisang has very little impulse control and I have even less.”
Naturally.
So, one afternoon after all the main staff had cleared out of the building, Wei WuXian helped Lan WangJi dress in his best. That is, he made sure Lan WangJi had a headband to tie around his forehead so that his LED was covered, as well clothes that covered everything except his hands and head. Wei WuXian said that many people had artificial arms that resembled his, so no one should gawk or even notice. No, the real worry was someone caring that he was wearing a turtleneck and long pants during the summer.
Luckily, Wei WuXian put his worries to rest by saying, “Trust me, you’ll look normal. I’ve seen guys wear shorts in the winter and hoodies in the summer. Besides, I think they’ll be too distracted by how pretty you are to notice.”
Lan WangJi shrugged, not believing him of course. Still, he was wearing both the moon clip in his hair, which was half pulled back, and the earrings Wei WuXian had given him. And he claimed they made him feel pretty so…
After a lot of sneaking around that involved a lot of hugging the wall, taking a certain number of steps, turning around corners at precise moments and not moving until Wei WuXian said, they made it out the back of Lanling Jin. But when that door finally opened and Lan WangJi smelled fresh air, had actual sunlight in his eyes, shrinking his pupils, heard sounds unhindered by walls, he froze. Wei WuXian stopped, turning around to see what was holding him up, before he too was struck dumb. Lan WangJi was…
He looked so overwhelmed that he physically couldn’t move. Couldn’t walk and appreciate his surroundings at the same time. Wei WuXian was suddenly struck by the thought that though Lan WangJi had been here for months and months, he’d never actually seen the outside of Lanling Jin, hadn’t even so much as stepped into its parking lot, something he took for granted. This was…
Alright. He would let him marvel at it. He deserved it.
Even a ride in the car was enough to turn Lan WangJi’s forehead yellow, and Wei WuXian laughed when he opened the window and stuck his head out, letting the breeze blow in his face and whip his flyaway hairs all over his head. By the time they stopped, his once immaculate half-updo was a mess, and yet to Wei WuXian he looked incredibly content.
Hesitantly, Lan WangJi got out of the car, looking off into the distance as he slammed the door shut. There were quite a few people milling about, looking like a multi colored colony of ants as equally colorful tents fluttered in the wind. He sniffed the air like a curious animal, and smelled a multitude of fried foods as well.
“We are…at an outdoor market?” Lan WangJi slowly asked.
He looked over at Wei WuXian, who stepped out of the driver’s side and also shut his door, before turning around and opening the door to the backseat. “I hope that’s okay? I really like this place, they always have cool stuff for sale. But I mean, um, if you’d rather go somewhere we can.”
“No,” Lan WangJi said immediately. “No that’s…I’ll have fun anywhere I’m with Wei Ying.”
“God you’re disgusting with how cute you are, I just got a cavity.” Wei WuXian put one leg in the car, before adding, “So, I’m gonna change really quick in the backseat so you don’t have to be embarrassed being seen with someone wearing khakis outside of work. Just give me a sec?”
Lan WangJi nodded, and when he saw Wei WuXian slip into the car, he turned around respectfully, choosing instead to gaze at their surroundings. There was a lake nearby; he could see the glimmer of it beyond the guard rail alongside the road, could smell the thick scent of seaweed and duck poop competing with the food smell. He could swear some of the trees looked familiar as well. Very familiar. Were they…near that place?
He couldn’t get too deep into his musings, though, as he was constantly pulled back to reality by the sounds of Wei WuXian smacking his limbs into things and cursing as a result. The poor thing. He had no idea how Wei WuXian could have thought that he’d be able to cram his six foot self into that cramped back seat, much less be able to get dressed while he was back there. But he must have succeeded somehow, because within ten minutes he was scrambling out of the car, his limbs before the rest of him, and popping up on his feet, before straightening out his rumpled clothes.
“Hold on, I’m sorry, I’m almost done,” he apologized. “Just let me fix my hair. Not that it matters, it’s going to look like shit no matter what I do. Ugh, I should have made time to wash it, I’m so sorry, I have to look so gross…”
Well, when Lan WangJi finally turned around to look at him, that certainly wasn’t his first thought. It didn’t even make the top one hundred. Quite the opposite in fact. He was mesmerized, though logically he knew he shouldn’t be. Wei WuXian, who was wearing more black than Lan WangJi had ever seen him in, was just in the midst of pulling his hair back, combing his fingers through it, while he held a hair tie in his mouth. And yet here Lan WangJi was, staring like a fool, his forehead flickering a mad light show between soft pink, fuchsia pink, and dark green. Unbidden, his eyes travelled down his jawline and then into the arch of that white neck. Wei WuXian’s chin was almost touching his chest, only lifting after he finished looping the tie around his hair, before he hastily combed his fingers through it again and tugged the ponytail tighter. However, Lan WangJi didn’t think there was any hope of smoothing all the bumps or pushing back the flyaway hairs that were wisping along his temples and at his nape. It was a look one could only achieve when pulling back their hair with no mirror. Messy as hell, and yet to Lan WangJi, he looked windblown and warm. Even better, when he watched the movement of some of the wisps of hair as they fluttered in the wind by Wei WuXian’s ear, he noticed that he was wearing earrings. They were small, red studs that sparkled with every movement of Wei WuXian’s head. He was…
“Wei Ying…” Lan WangJi breathed.
“Mm?” Wei WuXian hummed, and then turned his head towards him, looking very much like a curious puppy.
But Lan WangJi didn’t say anything; he just averted his eyes like a shy teenager who had been caught by his crush staring. Wei WuXian’s face softened into a smile.
“Alright, I’m ready now,” he said, coming around to take Lan WangJi’s hand. “Shall we go?”
The other man’s forehead turned a euphoric yellow, unable to believe that, out of everyone in the world, this lovely creature was holding his hand.
“Mn.”
It turned out Wei WuXian was just as enthusiastic and loud out here as he was in the lab. When they reached the tents, he set about dragging Lan WangJi everywhere. Anything that sparkled or smelled good, he had to look at, had to take a free sample of, had to pick up and play with for a minute before he put it back down. He was like a crow, and just as chatty, pointing to things and saying things like, “Lan Zhan Lan Zhan look at this? Isn’t it gorgeous? That’d look so nice on your dresser.” Or “I need this in my entryway!” Or “We should get something for Sizhui! He’d like this don’t you think? Some rose quartz to attract some romance his way?”
By the time they were finished, Wei WuXian had about a dozen pouches full of various precious stones, boxes of desserts he hadn’t been able to resist, and a small gift for Lan Sizhui. He had also bought something for Lan WangJi when the other man’s back had been turned, but at the moment he was hiding that in his pocket and…was it just him, or when he looked closely, did Lan WangJi seem to have something in his pocket as well?
When they left the fair, the sun was just beginning to set, and so Wei WuXian said, “It’s not dark yet…want to go somewhere that’s less people-y?”
“Sure,” Lan WangJi agreed, forehead still blindingly yellow even under his headband, its new default for the evening.
The next place Wei WuXian took them surprised Lan WangJi thoroughly, not because it was out of character, but because it confirmed his suspicions that he did recognize where they were. It was a cliff high above the lake, the center of an old park no one used anymore. The only trace of it that was left were a few benches overgrown with moss and high grass right near the edge of the cliff. It was quite isolated from the rest of the city, so much so that one could barely hear the cars rushing past.
Wei WuXian dragged him over by the hand, tugging on him like an eager child. Lan WangJi of course followed willingly, letting himself be pulled over to one of the benches, where the two of them then sat down.
“Isn’t this place nice?” Wei WuXian said. “I kinda like that no one really knows it’s here. When I was a teenager, I rode my bike over here so much just so I could get away from my parents for a bit. Something about how small the lake made me feel helped me feel better. Like, my problems weren’t that big or important in the grand scheme of things.”
Lan WangJi’s eyes widened in surprise. He looked over at him, catching the other man’s eye, before he admitted, “I…also used to come here. When my pain was bad. It would help me focus on something else when all I could think about was how much I hurt.”
Wei WuXian blinked once, and then snorted. “Guess more people knew about it than I thought. That’s amazing though, how both of us found this place. Maybe it’s some kind of sign.”
Lan WangJi hummed in thought. “I remember also thinking when I was here that maybe I was being counterproductive and the sun was just making things worse. Some of my meds caused sensitivity to light.”
His partner laughed, huddling in close and squeezing his hand. “Oh you poor thing. Want me to shoot down the sun for you?”
A soft, small smile spread across Lan WangJi’s face, and he shook his head fondly. Just then, he turned and pulled something out of his pocket, saying, “Interesting you should say that.”
Wei WuXian watched with sparkling eyes as the other man handed him a box, before retracting his hand and placing it back in his lap. He cooed, “Oh Lan Zhan, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Wrong. I did,” Lan WangJi replied.
“Lan Zhan! No, why are you so cute?”
He barely recovered from that before he opened the box and just about died all over again, clutching his chest with one hand when he saw that a pair of sun stud earrings was inside. Wei WuXian gaped at them, and then exclaimed, “Lan WangJi, you are awful, the worst. I don’t think you could have planned this better and you are absolutely going to kill me! Oh my God, they’re so pretty.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up pink and yellow one after the other in pleasure, before it suddenly burst into embarrassed, dark green flames when Wei WuXian pulled a pouch out of one of his pockets as well. He thrust it under Lan WangJi’s nose, saying, “Here, take it! Take it you ridiculous man, I can’t even bear to look at you.”
He did as he was told, taking the pouch bemusedly. When he opened it, he pulled out a pair of earrings as well, and if he had less control over himself, he probably would have burst out laughing. These earrings were drop moons with crystals dangling underneath them, so long that it looked like they would drape on his shoulders.
“Do you like them?” Wei WuXian asked. “I know, I’m sorry I keep getting you moon themed things, but…I can’t explain it, you remind me of the moon, somehow. Just how calm and…serene you are? And your overall aesthetic? If that makes sense? Ugh, I’m so weird, I know, I’m sorry.”
“Wei Ying.”
Wei WuXian clamped his mouth shut. However, before he could look up at him, Lan WangJi had leaned in and kissed him, short and sweet. Wei WuXian’s eyes were wide, gilded with the orange light of the sun. Lan WangJi couldn’t look away from them.
“Not weird,” he insisted. “I love everything you give me. Never apologize for such a thing. If I am your moon, then you will be my sun.”
Well, that certainly did it. Wei WuXian’s chin began to quiver and his eyes almost instantly filled with tears, before he flopped face first into Lan WangJi’s shoulder with a loud, “Waaaaah, Lan Zhan! You brute! Beating up my heart like that! How dare you! Why are you like this?”
Lan WangJi huffed a laugh, before he patted his back indulgently. “Ridiculous.”
By the time they got home, Wei WuXian deposited their bags in Lan WangJi’s room before saying, “I’ll come to bed in a bit. But first I’m just going to get a tiny bit of work done. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I promise if I’m not done in an hour, I give you permission to come out and drag me away from my work bench.”
Lan WangJi, who’s expression had turned disbelieving and critical the second he mentioned he was going to do some work, softened the tiniest bit, before nodding with an, “Mn.”
He kept an ear on the lab and an eye on the clock as he got ready for bed. By the time he climbed in, forty-five minutes had gone by. Alright. No problem. If Wei WuXian wasn’t in here in fifteen, he would most definitely take him up on his offer.
He laid there, staring at the door, musing about how, despite the fact that the radio was playing, he didn’t feel as relaxed as he used to. Why…? Oh. Then it hit him. Was it because he no longer felt calm unless Wei WuXian was in bed with him? Could…Could he no longer sleep without his presence?
Ironic, Lan WangJi thought sardonically, for someone who prided himself on being able to live on his own no problem. Now here was this ridiculous scientist who had wormed his way into his life and turned him into this mushy, sticky thing who was devoted to his happiness. Disgusting.
Disgustingly wonderful.
Lan WangJi stared out his open door, which had a great view of Wei WuXian at his work bench, and watched as the other man glanced back at him, before he grinned impishly and reached up to fiddle with the radio.
And then Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up the brightest shade of pink imaginable when he heard, “I Knew I Loved You,” start filtering out of the speakers. Was that…was that a confession? Via song?
He heard the other man burst out laughing when Lan WangJi groaned and buried his face in his pillow, muttering low enough so that Wei WuXian couldn’t hear, “Silly.”
Notes:
Song title mentioned in the chapter is a Savage Garden song!! And thank you so much Joshua for indulging me and showing the part where WWX pulls his hair back, ugh the weird stuff I find hot. But isn't he gorgeous as hell?
Btw, if you guys want to know what Lan WangJi's new earrings look like: https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0417/4061/products/ll2_cc1d7cdc-bc42-4fc6-b393-74c5e77f3e91.jpg?v=1469303567
Joshua says: " I like seeing my boys healing and just enjoying life after so much insecurities. These adorable dorks in love deserves several treats. Also I'm gonna be ominous as hell and tell ya'll that you aren't ready for chapter 21. Because I can be evil like that. :' D"
Chapter 21: Violet
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sometimes Lan WangJi decided that since he didn’t eat, getting up and being productive might be a good way to spend his hour-long breaks. Though, he had to admit, the moment he opened the door to his boyfriend’s office with the intention of organizing it and laid eyes on the utter devastation that lay within, he had to admit he might have bitten off more than he could chew. It looked like a bomb and a tornado fucked on the desk and then ejaculated in every corner of the room.
Lan WangJi heaved a sigh. He was a good boyfriend. It frustrated him seeing Wei WuXian struggling to find things in here. That was what he told himself so that he didn’t shut the door to the office again and go take a nap on the couch instead.
He figured he could start with the desk. He wondered when the polished wood surface of it had last seen daylight. And…did Wei WuXian legit have files on his seat? And under the desk? Where did this man sit?
Out of curiosity, he moseyed on over to the filing cabinet, which was covered in a suspicious layer of dust. Upon opening a drawer, he saw to no one’s surprise that it was empty. And opening every other drawer revealed the same thing.
Gods above, he was dating a caveman.
Well, at least the answer to how he was going to organize this office just became a lot more obvious. He figured he could start by alphabetizing these files, most of which Wei WuXian had the good sense to label, though since he had the handwriting of a doctor, several of them were hardly legible. Some of them were even in English, which definitely threw Lan WangJi for a loop. He set those ones aside, deciding he could ask Wei WuXian about them later.
He was rather proud of himself when a half hour later, he had finally made it to the bottom of one stack. However, he realized with a jolt that the label was his own name, written there plain as day. He froze in place, blinking several times to make sure he was really seeing what he was seeing, and when the characters for his name didn’t change, he decided that the only natural course of action was to open the file and see what Wei-Yisheng was writing about him.
After flicking through a few pages, he quickly came to the realization that he didn’t understand most of what he was looking at, or found it boring. There were documents detailing parts of his body, ones about his overall anatomy, copies of performance tests and output, etc. Stuff he was sure Wei WuXian had already explained to him in layman’s terms. However, near the middle, he came across something that looked a little more interesting. It looked like it had been copied several times and had the signatures of people that he had been told here the higher ups in Lanling Jin, including Jin Guangshan and Jin Zixuan. Above the signatures, the document read:
The three cyborg laws, as stated by the creator of the first cyborg, Wei WuXian:
1. A cyborg must not forget their humanity.
2. Making someone into a cyborg must be born from the needs of the one being converted and not your own.
3. A cyborg has the right to defend themselves as long as it doesn’t conflict with the first law.
Lan WangJi raised an eyebrow, confused that a document that was clearly so important didn’t have more to it. He read it again, then reread it some more, and it was this scene that Wei WuXian happened to walk in on, drawn to his lab after noticing Lan WangJi’s absence at lunch and his office light on.
To say he was shocked by seeing the clean space revealed on his desk was an understatement; Wei WuXian very nearly jumped. But then, surprise was replaced with fondness when he saw one of his cabinet drawers open with a bunch of his files stuffed into labelled folders. He shook his head, sighing, “Aiyah, Lan Zhan, you’re ridiculous. You’re going to work yourself to death in here, it’s such a mess. I appreciate it, but I don’t want you to strain yourself, you’re busy enough with…”
He walked up behind the other man, trailing off when he saw what he was reading. Lan WangJi, still staring at the paper, asked, “What’s this?”
“Well, remember how I mentioned very near the beginning that you’re protected by certain legalities while you’re here?” Wei WuXian said. He nodded towards the paper. “That’s the document proving that.”
Lan WangJi thought he vaguely recalled him mentioning something like that, but at the time he’d been hopped up on so many painkillers that he was sure he hadn’t comprehended what he meant. Not to mention, at the time, he was still in so much shock over his new appearance that he couldn’t have given a whit about that sort of thing. He glanced over at Wei WuXian, his uncomprehending stare enough of an answer for him.
“After Wen Ning was built,” he explained, “I started to worry about whether or not being in a different body would affect the state of his personhood. Like, people might not think of him as human anymore because he wasn’t made completely out of flesh and blood. And if people didn’t see him as human anymore, then they’ll be able to treat him however they want, and heaven knows what that might translate into. So, I worked with Xiao Xingchen and got this document authorized by Jin Guangshan. The rules are there for both me and the two of you. In particular, the second rule, I always have to make sure that whoever I decide to place inside a cybernetic body, my will and desires don’t override theirs and that it’s one hundred percent their decision. The other two laws enable it so that you can fight back physically and legally if someone assaults you or what have you, that you still retain the same right to live as you did when you were in your old body. But also…I worry that because you have different bodies, you might forget that you’re human and…well it doesn’t matter.”
“I would never forget that,” Lan WangJi said firmly. “Not while I’m with you.”
Wei WuXian smiled at him. “That’s sweet of you Lan Zhan, but nonetheless, it’s there just in case. Everyone has the ability to be a monster, and even if you’re not one of those people, I don’t know if someone down the line who I perform this surgery on will be. We’re just trying to cover all our bases here.”
Lan WangJi went silent for a moment, slipping deep into thought as he tried to decipher exactly what he was talking about. Sure, he understood the surface implications, but he had a feeling that there was more to it than that. However, the more he thought about it, the more his mind began to fall down that slippery slope of scenarios where he might need that kind of legal protection, and it made his chest tight with unease. He prayed that nothing like that would come to pass.
Wei WuXian patted his shoulder, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Don’t worry about it now. I’d say you have something a lot more horrifying in front of you at the moment. Seriously, you don’t have to clean this up if you don’t want, I’ll get to it at some point.”
Lan WangJi gave him a deadpan stare, and Wei WuXian insisted in a whiny voice, "I will! I promise! Stop looking at me like that!"
The other man just wordlessly bent down and began picking up where he left off, started on the next corner of the desk, saying, “The fact that you haven't gotten to it in three years makes me doubt the truth of your words."
"Ahh, Lan Zhan, you’re spending too much time with Jiang Cheng!" Wei WuXian cried. "Don’t tell me you’re going to become as mean to me as he is!”
His partner put down his stack again and purposefully strode over to him, before he placed a heavy hand on the back of Wei WuXian's neck and pulled him in for a brief but deep kiss. But still, Wei WuXian kept grumbling and whining, even when Lan WangJi separated their lips.
"No," he said in a low voice, keeping their faces close together.
Wei WuXian crossed his arms and continued to pout. However, it was undermined greatly by how red his face was.
Finally, after months and months of fine tuning, blood sweat, and cussing on Wei WuXian's part, Lan WangJi's first prototype dick had been completed. And oh boy had that been an interesting process, namely when it came to working with Nie Mingjue. Everyone else had been fascinated by the science and mechanics of it all, as well as what the future results might be.
However, when Wei WuXian relayed the story to Lan WangJi later, he revealed that poor Nie Mingjue's one and only comment throughout the whole venture had been, "This is way more of my boyfriend’s brother than I ever wanted to see.”
Completely ignoring how brown Lan WangJi's forehead had turned, Wei WuXian added nonchalantly, “I just told him ‘Well if this works out, get used to seeing me in here again because I have loads of ideas for more dicks.’ Then I had a hammer thrown at my head and it stuck in the wall behind me. I don’t know if he’s missing me on purpose or if he’s that bad at throwing.”
That wasn't it at all, Lan WangJi was certain. Most likely the only reason Wei WuXian was still alive and walking around the halls of Lanling Jin was because it was illegal to kill him.
Naturally, when the Jins heard about the completion of it, they were down in the lab in a couple of days demanding tests as soon as possible. And because Wei WuXian and Jin Zixun both had hair-trigger tempers, it didn't take long for them to start snapping at each other like rabid wolverines. Once more, just like all the times previous, Lan WangJi and Jin Zixuan were standing behind them, acting as their impulse control.
Jin Zixun said, “Don’t start with us Wei WuXian, you know they want the results from us.”
Wei WuXian snorted, leaning back on his heels and folding his arms before he replied, “Oh it’s not me you should be worried about. Lan WangJi has already made it clear to me that he doesn’t want anyone in the room during these tests, and can you blame him? Would you want an audience while you jerked off? I don’t know why I keep having to remind you that”-
“-he’s a person, we fucking know, do you think our investors give a shit? At the current moment, they only see him as a metal dick that they’re waiting for results on. They don’t care about his feelings, or ours. Those results are all that’s going to give you money to keep making this shit.”
“That’s nice, but unfortunately my field of fucks to give is barren. You either do it his way or you can look forward to another broken nose.”
His assistants behind him shifted uncomfortably at the memory. Even Jin Zixuan grimaced.
Wei WuXian narrowed his eyes, unfolding his arms and taking a step towards him, taking great pride in the fact that Jin Zixun flinched. In a low, even voice, he said, “You may have it in my contract that these performance reviews occur at Lanling Jin’s discretion, but I have a contract that states my former patient is human, and he deserves to be treated like one. You’ll get your results in a way that’s most comfortable for him, or not at all. Got it?”
Jin Zixun made a sound of frustration and ground out through gritted teeth, “Wei WuXian”-
Jin Zixuan suddenly placed a hand on his cousin’s shoulder, effectively cutting him off and forcing him to look at him. Then, to everyone’s surprise, he said, “Very well.”
Jin Zixun sputtered in disbelief, shrugging his shoulder off and staring at him with his jaw dropping. “You’re seriously going along with this?”
“He said he’d give us our results. Besides, if we push, Lan WangJi could have grounds to sue us.”
Jin Zixun sighed in exasperation and rolled his eyes to the heavens, but nonetheless didn’t argue further.
Lan WangJi’s expression shifted very subtly into one of unadulterated smugness, pleased by Wei WuXian’s victory. And then, because he couldn’t resist, he took a step towards Jin Zixun, looking him dead in the eye. The other man retreated behind his cousin, and Wei WuXian snorted in amusement.
As another testament to how confident he’d become, Lan WangJi said, “I only want Wei Ying in the lab.”
The Jins all glanced at each other unsurely. This had certainly never been done before. Eventually, Jin Zixuan sighed and decided, “Fine. I suppose given the sensitive nature of this test, we can make an exception.”
There were murmurs of disagreement among the assistants, but all it took was one look from him to get them to shut their mouths. Wei WuXian eyed him suspiciously, wondering what was making him agree to their demands so easily. Sure, even he could admit that Jin Zixuan wasn’t as bad as some of the other Jins, but he was still an irredeemable bastard in his eyes, and he never did anything for anyone unless there was something in it for him. But what could angering Jin Guangshan possibly do for him?
Well, he’d confront him on it later. At the moment, he would accept the leniency.
For now, he nodded at Jin Zixuan, begrudgingly thanking him. The other man nodded back, a temporary truce silently called between them. He led his assistants out of the lab, and Wei WuXian shut the door behind them.
He glanced out the glass window beside the door, seeing that they had all congregated next to the door in the hallway, and though he would have preferred it if they all fucked off back to their departments, he supposed this would have to do. So instead, he turned back to Lan WangJi, saying quietly, “Alright then, that takes care of that. I’ll stay here by the door if you’d like? Your dick is on your dresser. You remember what I told you about attaching it properly?”
How could Lan WangJi have forgotten? Wei WuXian’s hands hovering so close to his crotch had nearly made his entire body burst into flames, and the worst part was, the other man was too focused on his demonstration to notice. He replied, “Mn.”
“Great! Okay, I’ll let you…get to it.” He waved awkwardly in the direction of Lan WangJi’s room. “Yell if you need anything.”
“….Mn.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead was dark green, the poor thing, and yet the expression he was fixing Wei WuXian with was…the only way the doctor could interpret it was that he seemed disappointed. But why? Didn’t he ask to be left alone in his room? Was there something Wei WuXian had missed? Hesitantly, he asked, “Did you…need anything else?”
Lan WangJi just shook his head, but even that was done forlornly. For some reason he reminded Wei WuXian of a bunny begging for banana at the table, his eyes huge and sad. But of course Lan WangJi wouldn’t tell him what he wanted outright. That just wasn’t the Lan way. Instead, he slowly walked back to his room, tossing one more look over his shoulder at Wei WuXian, before closing the door shut behind him with a final click, leaving a ringing silence in his wake.
Wei WuXian chewed on his lip, feeling frustrated, wondering what he wasn’t understanding, what Lan WangJi was trying to tell him. If only he was more experienced with relationships! Then maybe he’d be able to read the mood of his partner more easily based on past experience.
He sighed heavily, figuring it couldn’t hurt to at least turn on some music. It might even help Lan WangJi relax, because he was sure the other man was nervous enough having one person in the room. In fact, Wei WuXian was amazed he’d let him stay in here at all. He played around with the radio, settling on something soft and slow, and then laughing to himself about how cheesy it all was. But he knew from experience that listening to soft music while jerking off was a cliché for a reason; it helped. He stood there for a moment at his work bench, tapping his foot nervously, glancing back at Lan WangJi’s door every few minutes, before deciding there was no way he would be able to get any work done knowing what was happening on the other side of that door, so he returned to his post by the entrance to the lab.
He was absently singing along to the radio when, about ten minutes later, Lan WangJi opened the door to his room again and poked his head out, his forehead green with distress. Wei WuXian snuck a glance behind him to make sure the Jins weren’t watching, before trotting over to him, asking, “What’s wrong?”
Lan WangJi backed up, allowing him room to pass, and Wei WuXian took the hint. Lan WangJi shut the door behind him, before finally admitting in a quiet voice, “I’m not sure it’s attached right. I don’t feel anything when I…”
He trailed off, lowering his gaze to the ground. Immediately, Wei WuXian went into scientist mode, quickly formulating a logical plan. He nodded over towards Lan WangJi’s bed and said, “Alright, let me take a look. Go sit over there for me please?”
Lan WangJi did as he asked, backing up and plopping himself on the edge of said bed, feeling more like he was at the doctor’s office than in his room. And yet, he certainly didn’t feel like this when he went to the doctor. He couldn’t explain it. He felt nervous and awkward, but a whole different kind of nervous and awkward. Instead of being frightened, like he just wanted to jump out the window, it was as if there was a building tension in the room. Something was filling his chest, something hot and prickly, but he liked it. When Wei WuXian kneeled between his legs and methodically pushed his knees apart so he could get a closer look at the connection between his cock and the genital port, the feeling swelled tenfold, washing down his limbs in soft waves. This was…
This was not good, because…he didn’t know why. If he had a heart, it would have been pounding in his ears, in his nose, and all of his fingertips. If he could blush, he was sure every inch of skin would be flushed and covered in goosebumps.
Wei WuXian leaned in, and he was saying something, but Lan WangJi barely had the presence of mind to come back to Earth and listen to him. “I see what the problem is. You just attached it slightly off center. See this line here at the top? You want it to line up with your pelvis like this.”
Some flyaway hairs were tickling Lan WangJi’s inner thigh, causing it to jerk right at the exact moment Wei WuXian tilted the dick so that it lined up properly and then popped it in place. He lifted head to look at Lan WangJi, explaining, “It’s gotta follow the grain, like wood. Heh, get it? I know I know, I’m ridiculous, the most ridiculous there is. But I assume you have it from”-
The rest of his sentence shriveled up and died in his brain when he processed exactly what he was looking at. Lan WangJi was gazing down at him, his forehead bright fuchsia in the dim room, his golden eyes heavy-lidded and his lips parted. His chest was rising and falling a touch more rapidly than normal. But gods above, his expression…
He looked like he wanted to eat Wei WuXian, to draw him up to his lips and swallow him whole. Like he was trying his hardest to stare right through his chest so he could see his heart throbbing. And from his position on the floor, with Lan WangJi looking down on him, unconsciously pinning him there with his gaze alone-
Wei WuXian was motionless. He didn’t even dare to breathe.
He could feel a blush creeping into his cheeks, and that was finally what snapped him out of his stupor. He cleared his throat, before hastily pushing himself to his feet and stuttering, “O-Okay, on that note, I’ll let you get back to”-
“Wait.”
“Ah?” Wei WuXian froze. His heart jumped into his throat.
Lan WangJi bowed his head bashfully, some of his hair falling into his face. “…I’m not sure how…”
The other man blinked at him once. Twice. And then he cracked, snorting behind a hand. Lan WangJi looked up at him, tilting his head. Wei WuXian came back over to him, shaking his head, his voice gentle when he said, “Oh Lan Zhan please, surely you can take it from here.” He bent over and leaned into Lan WangJi’s space, a suggestive smirk on his face. “Even someone as pure and wholesome as you must have had more than a few dates with their right hand, yeah?”
Lan WangJi’s forehead turned dark green, and Wei WuXian knew if he had the ability, his face would be as red as his boyfriend’s shirt. Wei WuXian’s smirk only grew.
“That’s not…” Lan WangJi tried, and then stopped. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts, and his forehead turned to soft fuchsia again. He could see the glow reflected in Wei WuXian’s eyes, against his face. Quietly, he said, “You said you know where all the most sensitive places in my new body were. Show me? I…do not want to keep the Jins waiting.”
He waited with bated breath for Wei WuXian’s answer, every muscle in his body tense. The proposal hung heavily in the air between them, the feeling that had been swelling in his body before finally given words, an emotion. Want. Want like he’d never felt before. It was as strong as his need for food, for air, and as frightening as it was, it was also exhilarating. He parted his legs the tiniest bit more, leaning back on his hands. Wei WuXian watched his every move.
One thought began to filter into the other man’s head after the other, like the first few raindrops of a storm. Lan WangJi’s body language was fascinating. The scientist in him couldn’t help but analyze it, and what he saw was encouraging. The other man was baring his midline, his muscles relaxing. Parting his knees meant that he was offering him more space to stand or kneel there. All were signs of trust. People that were uncomfortable or afraid were tense and tried to hide the most vulnerable places on their bodies. It was…it was alright. Lan WangJi wanted him there. He wanted him to come closer. Wei WuXian took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly.
If this was what Lan WangJi needed to get through this, then he would be happy to assist him. He shrugged and said, “Alright, sure. You’re right, we have to be as efficient as possible, otherwise they might get suspicious as to what’s taking so long.”
Lan WangJi’s face fell slightly. Did he not…? Probably. Oh Wei WuXian, how could he not understand the full implications of what Lan WangJi was asking? Was he really that dense? That wasn’t the reason he wanted him to do this! Really, this man was so exasperating.
Without much thought, Wei WuXian slid into that offered gap and gently took him in hand. Heat washed down Wei WuXian’s back and he could feel his face bursting into flames. That was strange. This had never happened during any of the other tests they’d done. His thoughts were suddenly scrambling for cover, trying to hide from each other, as if ashamed of their very existence, and he had to wrestle with them for a minute or two so that he could get them back into a proper order. Then, he started doing what he did best, and rambled a mile a minute, trying to fill the awkward silence with sound. As he stroked, he kept his gaze firmly locked onto a point on the wall over Lan WangJi’s shoulder, feeling too jittery to look him in the eye.
“I made it so your dick would be waterproof,” he said, his words coming out fast and rapid, more of a waterfall of word vomit than a stream of consciousness, “so you should be able to put lube on it no problem. Figured that would be the most important thing. Now, this is a prototype, so just a standard, basic model where we’re testing to see if it responds to stimulation and goes through all the normal motions a regular dick would. So like, does it get erect when the right pressure is applied, does it read your brain’s signals when the oxytocin and your other endorphins reaches their peak, and does your body respond appropriately by orgasming, that sort of stuff. I didn’t give you any testicles but that’s because they’re on the inside of your pelvis. It’s actually kinda rad, you’re like an elephant now! But I mean, if you really want them for show, I suppose I could design some”-
Lan WangJi cut him off by wrapping an arm around the back of his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. However, this kiss was unlike anything Wei WuXian had experienced with him so far. This kiss was heated and demanding; he could feel an underlying tension in his partner’s muscles, hear an unsteadiness in his breathing, sense a gentle desperation in how his hand spasmodically gripped and released Wei WuXian’s hair at the nape of his neck. If his eyes weren’t closed, he would have seen how Lan WangJi’s face had pinched with quiet passion, and how his free hand was grasping at the blankets beneath him.
When they finally pulled apart with a gasp and Wei WuXian’s eyes opened again, he was forced to take in the state of his boyfriend. And oh heavens, what a sight it was. His forehead was of course still bright fuchsia. However, his brows were still drawn together, and his lips, shining with Wei WuXian’s saliva, were still parted as he panted, his breaths soft and shaky. And...was it just his imagination, or were Lan WangJi’s eyes glowing?
“…Oh,” Wei WuXian finally said faintly.
“Indeed,” Lan WangJi replied.
They stared at each for a few moments, their elevated breathing the only sound in the room for a moment, because Wei WuXian’s hand had stilled and there wasn’t nearly enough blood going to his brain to fuel any sort of thoughts. His head completely empty, he could only say stupidly, “Well uh, good to see everything seems to be working. You’re doing a good job.”
Now that had an interesting and completely unexpected affect on Lan WangJi. He inhaled sharply and pulled Wei WuXian ever so slightly closer, his grip feeling heavier than ever, more like a heated, iron bar that was holding him prisoner. His LED flared brighter with a soft hum.
Again, Wei WuXian’s inner scientist popped into the forefront of his mind, posing the question, Hmm…I wonder…
He leaned in a little closer so that his nose was almost touching Lan WangJi’s ear, and said in a low voice, “Seriously Lan Zhan, you don’t know how proud I am of you that you’re taking all this in stride, and you’re responding very nicely. That’s what I like, someone who’s nice and receptive, you know?”
Lan WangJi’s hips shifted, pushing themselves further into his grip, and out of the corner of his eye, Wei WuXian could see him biting his lower lip for the briefest of seconds before he released it, and then turned his face away as if trying to hide that he did it. The shit eating grin returned on Wei WuXian’s face, and he said, “Oh ho, you like when I tell you you’re doing well? Is that what you’re into? Being praised? Of course you are, it’s so wholesome, that would definitely be one of your kinks.”
Hoarsely, Lan WangJi growled, “So then get back to it. You want your results, don’t you?”
Wei WuXian laughed. “Oooh, look at you ordering me around and being mean. Hmm…I kinda like it. Have I ever told you that, Lan Zhan? That you’re hot when you’re mad?”
He started working him again, his hand building up a torturous, teasing rhythm of a few fast pumps before slowing down to let Lan WangJi cool off for a beat or two, and then stroking fast again. He leaned in further as well, allowing his partner to set his chin on his shoulder and pant over it. Lan WangJi appreciated this greatly. As his pleasure grew, he was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed, and being able to hold Wei WuXian close made him feel safe and grounded. For good measure, he wrapped his legs around his waist, further trapping him.
Wei WuXian traced his tongue around the rim of one of Lan WangJi’s ears, before whispering affectionately, “Lan Zhan, my Lan Zhan. You’re always so handsome anyway, but I wish you could see yourself now. The arch in your back is so pretty, and you’re making such a lovely expression, like you’ve never felt this good in your life.”
“Wei Ying.”
He froze, breath stuttering in his ear, because holy shit, no one had ever said his name like that before, and right in his fucking ear no less. Part of him wished he could see the other man’s expression, but he supposed he didn’t need to. Feeling him squirm restlessly against his body, hearing him breathe heavily and suppress little grunts, was more than enough to make heat pool low in Wei WuXian’s stomach. He started pressing kisses to Lan WangJi’s jaw, mumbling against his skin, “I’ve never met anyone as wonderful and kind as you, you know. Do you have any idea how special that makes you to me? You’re so special, so good. I wish I could hold you like this for hours and listen to you make these pretty sounds. But I suppose we’ll just have to do this again, yeah? Next time would you like me on my knees in front of you?”
That did it. Lan WangJi’s back arched harder, his thighs quivered, and his breath did a soft, double hitch. His LED began flashing white, and a second later, Wei WuXian felt warm fluid spill over his hand.
All that buildup, and Lan WangJi’s orgasm was quick, over in a few seconds. However, it must have been strong, because even when his LED stopped flashing, he still clung to Wei WuXian, his breathing ragged and loud. His whole body was trembling, and his legs fell limp and useless from his waist back to their prior positions. The doctor laughed softly when Lan WangJi started nuzzling his face, kissing him absently and mumbling half-coherent words that might have been praise based on the tone, something like, “So good, you’re so wonderful, the best,” but he couldn’t be sure.
Wei WuXian took his affection in stride, nuzzling him back and cooing, “Oh you precious thing, drugged out on dopamine. You’re adorable. But hey, good news, looks like everything worked! I was curious whether or not your forehead was going to read your orgasm, and it did it like a charm. Lots of good things happening today. I think everyone will be happy with the results.”
Lan WangJi grunted his understanding and let his forehead drop against Wei WuXian’s shoulder before saying, “No one more than me.”
Wei WuXian snorted and squeezed him tight. “Of course.”
Notes:
Here we are at long last, I hope Joshua being a little shit in the last author's note didn't scare everyone too much, he was just excited about the handjob in this one xDD And so was I, although I can never make the smut I write as good as I want it to be.
Chapter title is a Savage Garden song that most definitely matches the tone of this chapter ehehe.
Joshua says: "I can safely say that the kind of smut that focus on feelings and sensation is chef kiss smut. Also wei wuxian being wei wuxian: him takling this in such a peculiar way was only fitting! It's going to be interesting to see how differently both tackle intimacy and you'll see what I mean when we get there ; D. Lwj is pretty open with his needs toward Wwx while keeping his good sassy comebacks ohoho. Hope you guys enjoy both the art and the chapter! Caro did a fantastic job with this and you should all shower her with compliments about it! "
Also I posted my foxxian fic!! If anyone wants to check it out, you can find it here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/32517202/chapters/80652421
Chapter 22: All That You Need Will Surely Come
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Wen Qing always had to pop into Wei WuXian’s lab just when he had gotten in the zone, and by that he meant either when he was fully concentrated on whatever practice surgery he was doing, whatever parts he was working with were finally behaving and practically putting themselves together, or there was a sick beat blasting from his radio and he could swear his hips were moving with the same fluidity as Shakira’s. This time it was the last scenario, and unfortunately for him, just as he was finishing belting out the chorus of “Whenever, Wherever,” he happened to glance over his shoulder and see that she had brought someone with her. Worse still, it was a young man Wei WuXian had never seen before. He practically fell over backwards on his desk, caught completely off guard. Wen Qing rolled her eyes.
“And this is Wei-Yisheng’s lab,” she stated flatly, gesturing vaguely around the room. “We consult with him from time to time, and work with him occasionally as well. For example, with Jin Guangshan wanting to create more cyborg bodies, I’ve spent a lot of time in here, so you’ll probably be unfortunate enough to be doing the same. Just don’t make eye contact with the resident goblin king and you should be fine.”
Wei WuXian scrambled upright on his work bench and gasped, slapping a hand dramatically on his chest. “Wen Qing! Why must you be so mean to poor, poor me? I’m as innocent as a baby bunny!”
“Definitely not a baby bunny. A baby rattlesnake maybe.”
“Wen Qiiiiiing!” he whined.
“Anyway, Wei WuXian, this is Mo Xuanyu. He’s an archivist, a transfer from Qishan General. Jin Guangshan hopes to keep him here permanently.”
The man next to her bowed his head, keeping his eyes on the ground and not saying a word. Wei WuXian brightened up, a gleam coming into his eyes at the prospect of meeting someone new, and he immediately zipped away from his work bench to come stand in front of him. He too bowed his head before reaching forward and taking Mo Xuanyu’s hand, shaking it eagerly.
“It’s nice to meet you!” he said. Then, he paused, leaning forward a bit and scrutinizing the other man’s face. Mo Xuanyu leaned back unsurely, before Wei WuXian said, “Have we met before? You look familiar.”
“No,” Mo Xuanyu answered, “but Jin Guangshan is my father. I guess I do look a bit like him.”
Wei WuXian straightened up, trying not to let the surprise show on his face. Jin Zixuan was Guangshan’s only legitimate kid. It was a well-known secret by the entirety of Lanling Jin and Madam Jin that his boss had numerous affairs, but he’d never met a product of one of those affairs before. It made the whole business more real, and he felt an immediate sense of pity for this guy. Being illegitimate isn’t easy; he’d had a front row seat to what happened to that with Jin Ling. And he knew Jin Guangshan wasn’t a kind man, so he felt an immediate sense of pity for this man.
However, that wasn’t the only reason he felt sympathy for Mo Xuanyu. The longer he looked at him, the more he realized that he was far too thin to be healthy, and his skin was more grey than it probably should be. He reminded Wei WuXian of himself before Lan WangJi had come into his life, and it took everything in him to keep himself from wincing. The sad, downcast, kicked puppy eyes and hunched shoulders reminded him very much of Wen Ning, and his heart went out to him. Maybe it was the result of spending many years around this sort of thing, but Wei WuXian felt an immediate and strong urge to protect this man. He smiled gently at him.
“Ah, is that so?” he said, clasping his hands in front of him. “Well then, how nice of him to offer you a position here in his business!”
Mo Xuanyu returned his smile, though Wei WuXian could see from a mile away that it didn’t reach his eyes. He replied in a stiff voice, “I’m happy to be here. My father was kind enough to offer double the salary to what I was earning at my last job. That will certainly help me out.”
God this man was killing him. Why did he have such a hunted look in his eye, like he expected something bad to happen at any second? And was Wei WuXian mistaken, or was there a sarcastic edge to his words as well? He stared at him for a moment longer, trying to discern what he should ask next that might reveal more about why Mo Xuanyu was really here, and what was wrong.
He was about to open his mouth, only for Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and Jin Ling to appear in the doorway. They looked like they had a question, or rather, the two Lans looked like they had a question, while Jin Ling as usual looked like he was smelling something sour. In Wei WuXian’s lab, that was quite possible. However, whatever question they might have had died on their lips when they noticed the newcomer. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi looked like they were about to say hello, but Jin Ling, if it were possible, soured even further, and he cut off whatever they were about to say with, “You? How dare show your face here? After what you’ve done?”
Mo Xuanyu flinched and Wei WuXian’s eyes widened along with Wen Qings, both of them turning to look at him. He’d never seen his nephew look so angry before, outside of talking to his dad. Mo Xuanyu looked like he was going to be sick, whether that be from Jin Ling’s furious tone or the meaning behind his words, the doctor wasn’t sure, and he was so shocked he wasn’t sure how to respond.
After a moment, Mo Xuanyu said slowly, “Jin Guangshan hired me. He said he’s forgiven me.”
Jin Ling raised an eyebrow, extremely confused, before folding his arms heavily and scoffing. The other two juniors, as well as Wei WuXian also appeared confused, but for entirely different reasons. All three of them shared a glance, before looking back over at Mo Xuanyu. The man just bit his lip and lowered his head, though a line had appeared between his brows and he clenched his teeth. Hold on…so was he nervous?
Or…angry?
However, Wen Qing seemed to know exactly what was going on, because she showed no reaction at all, confusion or otherwise. Instead, she placed a hand on Mo Xuanyu’s shoulder and took a step closer to him, glaring subtly at Jin Ling. In that moment, Wei WuXian saw the sister that was so quick to defend Wen Ning whenever he had been mercilessly picked on when he had been attending the university, or when he had to endure the judgmental whispers of the staff here at Lanling Jin that they thought he couldn’t hear. Immediately, all of them averted their gazes.
“It’s true,” she affirmed. “He’s here because Jin Guangshan wants him to be.”
At that, Wei WuXian turned his head towards Jin Ling and glared, saying, “Yeah, so hold your tongue, you brat. Whatever this is about, you don’t need to discuss it in front of other people. From the sound of it, you don’t need to discuss it at all. If our boss has let it go, then you should as well.”
Jin Ling’s mouth fell open in shock, as if he couldn’t believe that his uncle was reprimanding him in front of all these strangers. He opened his mouth to retort, and as if Wei WuXian could tell what he was thinking, he added, “Don’t think I wouldn’t smack you in front of your peers either.”
“Hmph,” Jin Ling sniffed. “As if Lan WangJi would let you.”
“You’re kidding, right? Not only does he let me get away with pretty much anything, but he’d be right here smacking you as well if I told him you deserved it.”
At that, Lan Jingyi snorted loudly with amusement. Even Lan Sizhui only just barely hid a smile behind his hand. And being embarrassed like that in front of the other boys was what finally made Jin Ling shut his mouth, his cheeks turning pink and a pout forming on his lips. Wei WuXian rolled his eyes and then turned back to Mo Xuanyu, who was watching the whole thing. His shoulders seemed less heavy now, and for that, Wei WuXian was glad.
As if to make up for Jin Ling’s rudeness, Lan Sizhui, ever the empathetic child he was, took a couple steps towards the newcomer and offered, “Mo Xuanyu, if you’d like, later you can have lunch with us? Maybe we could even show around some other parts of Lanling Jin?”
Mo Xuanyu tilted his head. “Really?”
“Sure!” Lan Jingyi chimed in, coming up to stand next to Lan Sizhui. “Like places where Wei-Yisheng says are good to hang out if you want to avoid the security cameras.”
Wei WuXian jolted as if he’d been shot with an electric current, pulled completely out of his calm, confident stupor. He shushed the boy and waved his arms, hissing, “Oi you little shit, what do you think you’re doing, outing me like that? Don’t go corrupting the innocent.”
To their delight, they heard a soft laugh, and when they turned to look at the source, they saw it was Mo Xuanyu. Though his skin was still unhealthily grey, at least some color seemed to have returned to his cheeks and lips, the warmth from his enjoyment of the whole business heating up his face. Wei WuXian just barely held back a sigh of relief, the ache in his chest disappearing.
“Do you care about no one other than yourself?” Madam Yu sneered. “We raised you better than that. You’re so selfish and ungrateful. Family is all you have, Wei WuXian. Without it, no one else will care about you.”
He shook his head, hating that those memories popped into his head again, especially when he had worked so hard for so many years and pushing them down. He used to worry about that sort of thing for years, about whether or not he was a bad person because he seemed to care about everyone but his family. So, he told himself the same things now as he did then. See Madam Yu? I’m not selfish or ungrateful. I just know where my loyalties lie, and they’re not with people that have said hurtful things to me all my life. I’m capable of being kind and caring about others. You were wrong.
After all, he doubted someone that was only concerned with themselves would be able to leave a whole room warm and full of easy smiles like this.
The next few days were…interesting.
Now, they certainly weren’t interesting in a bad way, for which Wei WuXian was grateful. For one thing, He was relieved to hear that Lan WangJi had passed his latest test with his, ah, newest attachment with flying colors. It was just another step towards improving the other man’s quality of life and making him feel more human. And while he knew he didn’t technically need such a thing, nor would have Lan WangJi asked for it himself, he was still happy to provide.
And well, it appeared that the other man had very thoroughly enjoyed his newest upgrade.
Oh who was Wei WuXian kidding? He had enjoyed it too, especially if the content of his latest dreams were anything to go by.
It was strange. Naturally, Wei WuXian was no stranger to such dreams, but they normally occurred so rarely for him. However, now that he was with Lan WangJi, they popped up at a more rapid pace, waking him in the morning, leaving him feeling hot, unfulfilled and embarrassed, even when he woke up alone in his apartment. Worse still, he hardly remembered most of them, leaving him to wonder exactly had happened to put him in such a state.
Despite that, he was sure most of them were him replaying the way Lan WangJi had moaned his name into his ear.
God, what a mess. When Wei WuXian was younger, sometimes he thought about what it might be like to have someone say his name in ecstasy, and for some reason the idea didn’t arouse him like he thought it might. Rather, it just sounded strange. Perhaps because he could never imagine himself bringing someone enough pleasure that they’d want to do that. However, now that Lan WangJi had done it…
This was ridiculous. It was like he was going through puberty for the second time.
And speaking of odd things, ever since that day, he noticed a definite change in Lan WangJi’s behavior. The changes were probably only obvious to someone like Wei WuXian, but as he was still getting to know this man’s little quirks, he was proud of himself for having noticed at all.
For example, Lan WangJi definitely treasured his alone time, and Wei WuXian knew that and respected that. But while he had gotten into a rhythm for expecting when Lan WangJi wanted to be left alone, now suddenly that rhythm was being disrupted. There might be random times during the evening when they would normally sit and talk that Lan WangJi be zooming out of the bathroom, far too often just to be changing his nutrient capsules (which he most definitely did not have to change in the bathroom considering there were a lot cleaner places to do so) with his forehead flashing a myriad of colors. Whenever Wei WuXian asked him if everything was okay or what he’d been doing in there, he would receive one-word answers along the lines of, “Nothing,” every single time.
Yeah, it certainly seemed like a whole lot of nothing.
Not only that, but Lan WangJi, when he wasn’t sneaking around like he was trying to hide where he’d hid the body, had become extremely affectionate. Not that he wasn’t before, but now, ever since they had broken down that new barrier, whenever Wei WuXian was still and Lan WangJi had a spare minute to spend with him, his hands were on him and he was nuzzling him like lovelorn cat. Even worse was when he would languidly kiss whatever bare skin was available, not necessarily for the purposes of arousal, but just because it was there, he could and because Wei WuXian was too intrigued by this new game he was playing to push him away. Said game seemed to be finding the places that made Wei WuXian blush the hardest and jump the highest when he brushed over them with his lips.
So far the winners were his nape and ears. However, sometimes Lan WangJi liked to cheat and gently scrape his teeth over his skin, which always made Wei WuXian yelp in surprise. Surprise because…well, the feeling was certainly not one he hated, and he wondered if that made him a deviant, if he liked the idea of the other man biting him. In fact, the idea of anything inciting his own arousal was…
Well, it didn’t matter. Back to the subject of Lan WangJi.
The other man had grown much bolder about asking for the things that he wanted, the two of them making out much more often. However, as if their session in his room had been a trigger of some kind, Lan WangJi liked to pull Wei WuXian on top of him and let him take control instead of the other way around.
That was how Wei WuXian learned where the most sensitive places on his neck were.
“Tilt your head to the side,” Wei WuXian said.
The two of them were in Lan WangJi’s room on his bed one evening after work, and really it had started as retaliation. Because why should the other man get to tease him so much and make Wei WuXian look like a fool? Of course, he didn’t hesitate to obey, even pulling his hair out of the way, leaving his neck delightfully bare and vulnerable. Wei WuXian’s lips curled up into a fox-like grin, before he leaned in.
However, he didn’t kiss Lan WangJi right away, deciding two could play at this game. Instead, he just allowed his lips to brush over the skin as he spoke, “So right here should feel nice. I designed it to feel like normal skin, so it should feel exactly like if you were human when someone touches you here.”
Lan WangJi didn’t reply, but he could feel him stiffen up in anticipation, holding perfectly still, as if Wei WuXian was holding a knife to his throat and one wrong move would spell the end for him. Rather, he was afraid that if he moved, it would break whatever spell had fallen over his boyfriend to put him in this mood, and that was certainly the last thing he wanted to do. However, he couldn’t quite hold back the little gasp he let out when Wei WuXian at last began to firmly kiss down his neck, and oh Lan WangJi had to be the luckiest man alive, because he wasn’t just doing light, nervous kisses. He was using his tongue and teeth, nibbling the skin and sucking very lightly, even scraping it with his teeth to add a little jolt at the end. Lan WangJi was enraptured, letting his head fall more to the side to give him more access and letting his eyes fall shut. It took everything in Wei WuXian not to laugh when he let out a little sigh as well.
He trailed kisses all the way from his jaw down to his shoulder, holding Lan WangJi’s other shoulder to keep him in place. But once he made it to the edge of the artificial skin, he teased his way back up again, until he was nosing underneath Lan WangJi’s jaw.
“Lan Zhan, you’re so cute, I swear, it’s like anything I do to you just makes you go all limp and pliant,” Wei WuXian snorted. “Did someone spritz me with paralytics and now I’m wearing them like a cologne and I didn’t even realize it?”
He didn’t make him answer that, though Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up green with embarrassment. There was no way the other man could admit that in a way, he was right, except it was just Wei WuXian himself that took him out and made him yield so willingly. He was head over heels and that was that.
“Well, if you think that feels nice, just wait until I touch you here,” Wei WuXian teased. He moved down to the ridge of raised, artificial muscle that ran down from the other man’s neck before disappearing into his collarbone, but he didn’t actually make any moves to touch him. He just held his lips over it, waiting to see how Lan WangJi would react.
He didn’t have to wait long. Lan WangJi, who had gone completely still in anticipation, keeping his head tilted back, finally frowned and grumbled, “Wei Ying. Don’t tease.”
“You’re so fun to tease though!” the other man said.
However, finally, he showed him mercy and leaned in before licking a long stripe up the muscle, flattening his tongue to cover as much surface area as possible. It was interesting though. The muscle had the texture of squishy rope, and he could feel each individual strand yielding under his tongue. So unlike how a normal human neck would react, and yet he had built this with his own two hands. And he must have done something very right, because the second Lan WangJi registered the sensation, he let out a sighing moan, and he felt his hands come up to grip his shoulders. His hands were heavy, firmly holding him in place. Silent permission to keep doing what he was doing.
The further up his tongue dragged, the more that moan began to transform into a whimper, and to Wei WuXian’s shock, he felt more than saw the other man’s hips twitch. He wasn’t sure if they were searching for friction, or if it was just an involuntary reaction to the pleasant sensation. Either way, for Lan WangJi, it was a huge reaction. He laughed, beyond pleased with himself, and switched to the other side of his neck.
“This is called your Sternocleidomastoid muscle,” he said between kisses.
“Bless you,” Lan WangJi gasped.
Wei WuXian snorted and wheezed with silent laughter, unable to believe that response had just come out of his mouth and now of all times. He made a valiant effort to going back to the task at hand, but he just couldn’t, and it was only made worse when Lan WangJi filled the silence with, “If you are not careful, I’m going to start becoming aroused when I read the new medical textbooks at work.”
“Lan Zhan oh my God.”
That was the first but definitely not the last time one of their make-out sessions ended because Wei WuXian had been laughing too hard to continue. And the frequency of these sessions only increased as they got more comfortable with each other.
But that wasn’t his only sign that something was up.
During when they made out, Lan WangJi became quicker to start undressing, which Wei WuXian supposed wasn’t that unusual considering he had been naked when he had jerked him off. But now, it looked like he wanted to explore more of Wei WuXian’s skin. He’d push his hands under his clothes, untucking his shirt and setting his hands on his waist. Wei WuXian would try to say something like, “How sensitive are your hands? Can you feel how warm I am?” But unfortunately, he only managed to get a few of the words out before Lan WangJi was kissing him again and shutting him up. But that was alright. Based on how enthusiastic the other man was, it was pretty safe to say that his hands were working just fine.
However, Wei WuXian never let him get past unbuttoning a few buttons before he made him stop.
Lan WangJi listened every time and never complained. Of course he didn’t, he was too good for that. He never questioned why he wanted to stop, though he did ask if Wei WuXian was okay. And like the coward he felt he was, Wei WuXian didn’t answer beyond smiling nervously and asking if they could cuddle instead. It was just…
He felt so guilty, not just because of that, but because he knew something was up with Lan WangJi and he wasn’t sure what. Normally, when he wanted advice, he’d talk to his sister, but at the moment she didn’t even know he had a boyfriend. Jiang Cheng was also clearly out of the picture, considering the subject matter. Really his only option was…
“Please, my lord Nie Huaisang,” he found himself saying upon letting himself into his friend’s private office. He shut the door discretely behind him before finding a spare office chair, wheeling himself over beside the other man, who was ignoring him in favor of staring at his computer screen, and clasping his hands together in front of him in a gesture of begging, plopping his elbows heavily down on the desk. “I need your help figuring some sex things out and you’re the biggest slut I know.”
Without missing a beat, Nie Huaisang began typing something and replied flatly, “Flattery will get you nowhere, Wei WuXian.”
Said doctor let out a mournful sound of frustration. “Why are you being so difficult? I can’t go to my brother for more than a few reasons, and I don’t know who else to ask!” He slid from the chair until he was on his knees, trying not to wince at how painful the hard tile floor was on them. He gave his clasped hands a shake for emphasis, holding them up higher while he bowed his head. “Please! I’m a fucking mess here, I’ll do anything you ask!”
Nie Huaisang took his time finishing typing his sentence, leaning back in his chair, and humming to himself as he considered his words. If Wei WuXian wasn’t so desperate, he would have leapt up and punched him; it was as if he was enjoying his suffering, relishing the power he had at the moment. It was only made worse since he knew his friend’s sexual preferences; he liked being in charge, and evidently that extended to the work place, considering all the times Wei WuXian had walked in on him bossing around his coworkers. Finally though, he swung around in his swivel chair to face him and said, “Alright. Get your boyfriend to make me some deep friend durian and you have yourself a deal.”
Wei WuXian blinked up at him slowly, his face a flat mask. “Really? You- ugh, fine. Of course you like durian. God, we won’t be able to get that smell out of that kitchen for weeks.”
“Yeah, had a date who turned me onto it a few years ago,” he explained. "But honestly the smell wasn’t even my biggest worry. I was afraid my partners afterwards would make me stop eating it because it might make my cum taste weird.”
Naturally. Of course that was his biggest worry. Well no one could say he hadn’t chosen the best man to speak to. Wei WuXian rolled his eyes. “Cum always tastes bad no matter what you eat.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know. Can we please move on?”
“Sure, sure.” Nie Huaisang slumped down in his chair, getting comfortable. “So what’s going on with your boo?”
Wei WuXian scooted back into the chair, wringing his hands. He couldn’t believe he was really going to have this conversation, but he supposed there was no backing out now. He sighed nervously, before he launched into his explanation. “Well I don’t know if I’m reading too much into this. I’m bad with the relationship stuff, you know that. I just want to make sure I’m not going to fuck this up. Lan WangJi, he…for one thing, he seems to be dropping things a lot in front of me. For another, he’s gotten a lot more handsy when we make out. And I know he’s trying to be subtle but he’s really not, not with the way he keeps trying to pull my clothes off when we make out. There’s other instances where we’re just hanging out and I keep finding his ass in my lap. Either he’s very emphatically insisting that he wants to be the little spoon, or he’ll pass by me subtly rub it against me. I mean, I certainly don’t mind, that’s not the issue. I just....is it what I think it is? I never thought anyone could feel this way about me considering…everything about me.”
Again, his friend took a long time to think about what he had said, tapping his chin and humming to himself, building the suspense, before at last he couldn’t contain his mirth. He snorted, before answering, “Well, you came to the right place. This lab coat means I’m a health care professional. And in my professional opinion, I’d say it’s exactly what you think it is, and I diagnose your boyfriend with a bad case of horny.”
“…What,” Wei WuXian said flatly.
Nie Huaisang told him, “You heard me. He wants the D. He’s acting like a cat in heat. What, do you want a prescription or something? I can write one out for consensual intercourse, taken daily for a severe case of Horny-itis, if you’d like."
If it were possible, Wei WuXian’s expression only grew flatter, Nie Huaisang could swear he saw him age ten years in just as many seconds. He hastily added, "I was just kidding about the daily part, please don't contact the Board of Health."
Wei WuXian shook himself, and then slowly mulled seriously over the other man’s words. That was….oh. How could he have been so stupid? “That’s...I guess that sort of makes sense. He’s probably ready for the next step.”
“And how do you feel about that?” his friend wanted to know.
“Well…I want to at some point of course. My only reservation is…myself.”
“Yourself?”
“Yeah I-I mean…” Wei WuXian gave a little frustrated whine, and upon hearing that, Nie Huaisang leaned in and placed a hand on his upper arm, nodding encouragingly. It took another moment, but after that, it was as if the pressure valve had been open and all of Wei WuXian’s fears bubbled to the surface in a great, rushing torrent. “I’m not good at getting into the proper mood. My mind is always going, and even when Lan Zhan and I are, well, you know, I still can’t shut up. It’s a combination of nerves and my brain just being stupid. And no matter what, I can’t fix it. Never have been able to, not even when I’m by myself and trying to jerk off. I want to have sex, but I think I’ll be terrible at it. I don’t want to disappoint Lan Zhan. He deserves someone better than me. Someone who can rock his world, not my anxious, virgin ass that hasn’t been able to relax enough to come in years.”
“Oh you poor doll,” Nie Huaisang clucked. He reached out for him, cooing, “Come here.”
Wei WuXian didn’t hesitate to fall into his arms and hide his face in his shoulder, groaning miserably. His friend patted his back sympathetically; the poor thing looked like he was genuinely upset. Well, this couldn't stand. So, slowly, he explained, “I know it can be frustrating. But don’t worry, I know how to help. First of all, let me assure that Lan WangJi does not give a single shit whether or not you’re good at sex. Seriously, not one. Any sex with you, in his opinion, will be fun, because it’s you. Second of all, believe it or not, I totally understand being too nervous to orgasm properly. That was me for years and years.”
Wei WuXian backed out of his embrace and gave him the most deadpan stare he had ever seen. So Nie Huaisang insisted, “No seriously! I was so insecure that a guy could do anything at all to my dick or fuck me for hours and I still wouldn’t come. It was embarrassing. But here’s what I found works for me. First of all, long foreplay. You can always try a massage, or heavy petting that lasts for like, thirty minutes, an hour, whichever. Light some scented candles or incense or whatever too. Sometimes a certain smell can relax you or help ground you. Biggest thing though, put on slow, soft music. It gives you something to focus on so your mind isn’t going in a million directions. Proper sex should take a long time. It’s not supposed to be a quick and dirty affair.”
His friend looked like he was genuinely trying to believe what he was saying. However, his forehead was wrinkling with stress and a little line had appeared between his brows, indicating further anxiety. So, he placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezed it, and added, “And as cliché as this sounds, you gotta talk to your partner. I do it with mine. Yes, all of them. Tell them what you want, what you don’t want and what you’d be willing to try. Tell Lan WangJi everything you just told me. Dude has the patience of a monk. Trust me, he’s going to be cool with this. He may want to fuck you through the floor, but he’ll want you to be enjoying yourself too while he does it. Use that yappy mouth of yours to tell him what’ll make the experience fun.”
Wei WuXian still looked hesitant, but finally he said, “Okay…I think I can do that.”
“Good.” Nie Huaisang gave his shoulder a firm pat and retracted his hand, before telling him firmly, “And when you do, please let me know what day it is so that I can take that day off. I don’t want to have to listen to you horny fuckers.”
The irony of those words punched Wei WuXian so hard that they left him reeling.
Notes:
Hey guys! Sorry for the wait for this chapter, ugh trying to write between RA flareups. No new art this time, but isn't that older art so cute? :3 But hey, Joshua is making a comic for chapter 12, one of his lovely followers commissioned it, so I'll link it when it's done! Just so as you guys know, in between updates for this fic, I'm updating my foxxian fic, and the second chapter for it is up! So if you find yourself missing this one, I've got something to tide you over between updates lol. You can find chapter 2 here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/32517202/chapters/81105298#workskin And fyi when I asked Joshua what the name of that one muscle was and he told me the name, I also replied with "bless you" xD
Also with the way things are proceeding...I think ya'll are going to like chapter 24 xD
Joshua says: "The " a tad crass" friendship NHS and WWX have is one based on honesty and savage level of sass that I have first-hand experience with to be quite honest. Also what are we seeing? Mo Xuanyu? ohhh where could all this lead to I WONNNDDDDEERRRRRR...."
Chapter 23: Given the Fucshia Light
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Wei WuXian left his friend’s lab soon after, feeling better than he had when he walked in, though anxiety still squirmed in his stomach. Sure, it was easy for Nie Huaisang to tell him that’s what he needed to say to Lan WangJi, but he wouldn’t be the one saying it. He wouldn’t be the one that could possibly be rejected. He’d heard of couples breaking up over different sexual interests, and though some forced themselves to adapt to what their partners wanted to keep them happy, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that for his, nor would Lan WangJi want him too. Ugh, this was just all so frustrating, why couldn’t he just grow a pair and-
His thoughts were interrupted when he saw Mo Xuanyu coming down the hallway, his steps quick and his shoulders hunched. Wei WuXian was about to call out to him, but stopped himself when he saw the anxious expression on the other man’s face. More curious was the room he disappeared into, a room Wei WuXian knew very well, as he’d been in here more than once arguing for Lan WangJi and Wen Ning’s human rights.
He stopped in front of Jin Guangshan’s office, trying to keep his steps light so that no one could hear them stop outside the door. He eyed it, knowing he should just mind his own business and keep heading back to his lab, but Wei WuXian just couldn’t help himself. Usually the only people that weren’t related to Jin Guangshan that went into his office were there to be yelled at, and the thought of his power drunk boss yelling at a nervous waif like Mo Xuanyu when he most likely didn’t deserve it…well, Wei WuXian couldn’t just leave. The guilt would eat at him if he did.
So, he stuck around, pressing his ear to the door.
It wasn’t just guilt that kept him routed in place. Wei WuXian strongly suspected that their newest hire was sick, but with what, he didn’t know, and if Mo Xuanyu didn’t want to share, then it would be rude to ask. So this might be his only chance to find out more about him. And maybe, just maybe, there might be a way Wei WuXian could help him.
At first, their voices were too low for him to hear. But then, his ears adjusted, and he began to pick up their words. First came Mo Xuanyu’s voice, hesitant, but with a hard undercurrent that Wei WuXian didn’t know he was capable of.
"I knew the only reason that I'm here is because you liked my mom but..." he said, and Wei WuXian could practically see him fiddling with his sleeves out of nerves.
“I owed her a favor,” Jin Guangshan answered, simply and coldly.
Mo Xuanyu snorted humorlessly. “Favor? That’s a funny way of saying ‘blackmail.”
"Watch your mouth, boy,” he said, his voice turning low and dangerous. “Just remember, while you're here, you're under my jurisdiction. You follow my rules. I can either make your life here tolerable or a living hell. You understand?"
By contrast, when Mo Xuanyu spoke again, his voice was meek and trembling. He stammered, "I didn't mean it like that. Please, you wouldn't- I'm..."
"Listen. I want to make something very clear. Just because I helped pay for your mother's cancer treatments doesn't mean I have to pay for yours."
“But”-
"You accept my method of treatment or get nothing at all. Understand?"
“…Yes sir.”
When Mo Xuanyu answered, Wei WuXian could hear how bitter and defeated he sounded, could hear how he was gritting his teeth against all the insults he most likely wanted to unleash, and it took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to burst into the room, reach across the desk, grab Jin Guangshan by the collar and spit in his face. The words weren’t the same, but the energy behind it reminded him of…
“This isn’t acceptable. You either work in this field by the parameters we set, or you can go ruin your life.”
“Do you think we should send him to therapy? Why can’t he just be normal?”
He clenched his fists at his sides, anger and hurt he’d thought he’d long since buried rising to the surface again. He wanted to protect, he didn’t want Mo Xuanyu to have the same words hurled at him that he had years ago, didn’t want him to experience that pain. Then again, from the sound of him, it was already too late.
And that just made Wei WuXian angrier.
The sound of footsteps coming toward the door jerked him out of his thoughts, and he leapt away from the door. He tried to make it look like he had been walking down the hallway, jumping in surprise when Mo Xuanyu opened the office door and exited the room. When the other man met his eyes, Wei WuXian noted how exhausted he looked, and how tense, his eyes rimmed in red while he unconsciously ground his teeth. He looked like if someone so much as breathed on him wrong, he would either explode in anger, burst into tears, or faint, or maybe all three one after the other.
To Wei WuXian’s shock, when he saw him, he smiled. He then nodded his head in the direction of an empty room further down the hall, and the doctor followed him without a word. The room was an unused office, and when they got inside, Mo Xuanyu plopped down tiredly on the desk while Wei WuXian stood a few feet away awkwardly, wondering if he was supposed to say something or keep silent. Thankfully, it was the other man who spoke first, his voice small and quiet, as if he was afraid Wei WuXian might say ugly things to him as well.
For what? For just existing? God, this man broke his heart.
"You heard that,” he said. “I saw your feet under the door. I tried standing in front of it so he wouldn't see you. I don't think he did. He was too busy bitching at me.”
Wei WuXian’s eyes widened and a hot wave of shame washed down his back. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean- I know I wasn’t supposed to”-
Mo Xuanyu held up a hand and once more, offered him a smile, though this one was empty, looking as cold and lifeless as the tile floor beneath them. It looked more like he was trying to hold back tears. Or vomit. Or both. "It's alright. The more people that know about what a piece of shit he is the better. No one seems to believe me when I say so. All they see is how rich and successful he is. But just because someone is rich doesn't mean they can't be an abusive bigot. Actually, most of the time, the two things are synonymous."
The doctor’s thoughts screeched to a halt. “Bigot?” he asked haltingly. “He never…”
Mo Xuanyu shook his head, and Wei WuXian could have sworn he saw tears lining his waterline, see his throat working as he tried to hold them back. He could practically see memory after memory racing through the other man’s head, each one competing to be the worst, to see if they could be the one to crack his façade and make his tears spill. Wei WuXian had to clench his hands into fists at his side to prevent himself from reaching out and pulling him into a hug. God, he knew that pain. He had seen it in the mirror hundreds of times, or in his brother’s face as he struggled to hide who he was from their parents. He wondered what horrible things Jin Guangshan might have said to Mo Xuanyu in the past, and then realized he probably already knew.
Bigots tended to be cut from the same cloth, after all. Rich or poor. They all knew how to hit their children where it hurt.
"That's...no,” he eventually answered. “I know exactly how awful one's own parents can be when it comes to things like that. If you need someplace to like, hide out, you can always come to my lab. Almost everyone is too afraid of me to bother me. And the only people who aren’t are all queer as hell. I should add a subtitle under my lab’s official title, something like ‘the rainbow lounge."
To his relief, he heard a sharp exhalation from the other man that sounded like a laugh, and his smile lost some of its eerie coldness, gaining genuine warmth. He looked up at Wei WuXian, and said, “That sounds…nice. I might take you up on that.”
A brief silence settled over them, filled only by Wei WuXian rocking on the balls of his feet and Mo Xuanyu taking a shuddering breath before scrubbing at his eyes. The doctor knew what he wanted to ask next, but he was terribly scared of frightening the other man away or making him uncomfortable after he had just worked so hard to make him feel better. But he just…had to know if there was a way he could help. He just hoped Mo Xuanyu would understand asking these sorts of things was just in his nature.
“So,” Wei WuXian asked carefully, “I know it's not my place to ask, and you totally don't have to answer if you don't want but...is it terminal? What you have?"
Mo Xuanyu paused, and answered, “The attraction to men? Nah. The lung cancer though? Yeah, that often is. But I came to terms with it long ago. Yet...Jin Guangshan, he said he might have a way to help me. I'm not sure if I'll"-
He shook his head, and his smile turned bitter and cold again. "It doesn't matter."
The other man slid off the desk and began to leave the room, Wei WuXian once again following him, though he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. Had he overstepped? Did Mo Xuanyu hate him now? He knew he talked big and acted like he didn’t care if other people hated him, but really, Wei WuXian was terrified of that possibility. He liked this new guy, the last thing he wanted him to do was hate him, especially since it so clearly looked like he needed someplace safe to go and relax so he didn’t explode from the stress his father was putting him under. However, when they got out into the hall again, Mo Xuanyu didn’t look angry at him. If anything, he looked less tired and hopeless than he had been when they first walked in here. More at ease, like Jin Guangshan’s words didn’t quite hold the weight they did before. He gave Wei WuXian a small bow.
“Thank you again,” he said. “I’m sure I’ll see you around soon, one way or another.”
And with that, he turned around and left, leaving Wei WuXian rooted to the spot. Not from what Mo Xuanyu had said, or even the realization that his suspicions were right. Wei WuXian couldn’t take his eyes off him because the way the light slanted through the window and hit him, contrasting heavily with the shadows on the other side of the hall, how they seemed to carry him forward and blur any distinct outlines he had, it was eerie. As if he were already a ghost haunting the place.
As if this was a glimpse into the future.
Poor Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian thought. Why did he have to be stuck with a boyfriend like him?
He felt like the world’s worst tease, constantly leading the other man on unintentionally. Acting like they were going to go further than just making out and then stopping what was going on in their tracks. And Lan WangJi was too decent, too good and kind, to complain. He always just took Wei WuXian’s moods in stride and always gave him what he wanted. He knew the other man had to be frustrated with him.
Because Wei WuXian was frustrated with himself.
It wasn’t just because he wanted to slap himself every time he shut Lan WangJi down whenever his hands traveled to Wei WuXian’s belt. No, now the problems followed him even when the other man wasn’t with him. When he was working, when he was eating, thoughts of how awful and unfair he was being followed him. His talk with Nie Huaisang seemed to have just made things worse, because now he knew what he should be doing. The problem was that he couldn’t seem to grow the balls to do it.
Even when he dared to go home to try and distract himself, he couldn’t escape. At night, he would be plagued with erotic dreams of all sorts. Some he remembered, some he didn’t, but even the ones he didn’t, he knew Lan WangJi had featured in them. More than once, he’d woken partially, rubbing his thighs together, his boyfriend’s deep, smooth voice caressing his whole body. It would take a minute to remind himself that he was home, not back at the lab, and that he sadly wasn’t reliving them testing out his new attachment.
He had no idea that day affected him so. Whenever it was quiet and the mood hit him just right, he was reminded of every sound Lan WangJi had made, every sensation of that afternoon. At first, he felt guilty for being so affected by it. But then he reminded himself that it was okay. This was normal and natural, and it was only natural to want to experience it again. Both his mind and body were making that clear, so why couldn’t he just get over himself and listen? Why did he insist on depriving himself to the point that he seemed to be reverting back to his adolescent days and waking to wet dream after wet dream?
Either way, it was getting ridiculous, and for his own sanity, Wei WuXian decided it was time to fluff up his courage and confront Lan WangJi about it. The only problem was, the instant he saw him that morning, he chickened out and immediately holed himself up in his operating room, closing the door behind him, scream singing along to his radio.
Naturally this did nothing to solve the problem and everything to make him even more anxious. It got to the point that by the end of the day, Wei WuXian had whipped himself up into a frenzy anxiety and self-doubt. He’d also convinced himself once again that Lan WangJi was going to hate him when he found out about his weird quirks when it came to sex and decide he wasn’t worth the effort, that he would want to find someone else that was easier to get into bed and oh God Wei WuXian couldn’t do this, he just couldn’t.
Well, no matter. Whether by dumb luck or once again, Wei WuXian’s body deciding it knew what he needed better than his mind did, by the end of the day, he was craving a break from his anxiety, and the only place that made him relax was Lan WangJi’s room. So, his feet took him there before he was even consciously aware he was going in that direction, and by the time he poked his head into the room it was too late to pretend he hadn’t meant to go that way. Lan WangJi had already caught sight of him.
The man in question was in the process of changing out of his work clothes, so when he saw Wei WuXian bust into his room without so much as a precursory knock, he nearly jumped straight in the air. Even more odd, the other man bypassed him completely without a greeting, not even looking in his direction. He just took off his lab coat, belt and shoes, before lifting up the blankets on the bed and crawling into them, grumbling something that sounded like, “Sorry, I know I’m covered in lab germs, I’ll wash your sheets later,” but he couldn’t be sure.
He watched as Wei WuXian pulled the blankets up over his head, before shifting around and finally stilling, successfully turning himself into an amorphous blanket lump. Even worse, he still wasn’t saying anything, and that more than anything made Lan WangJi realize there was something wrong. So, after he finished tugging a sweatshirt over his head, he walked around to the other side of the bed. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, wondering how he should approach this. He was still getting used to how to handle Wei WuXian when he was upset. It was such a rarity because the other man was so bent on hiding all of his negative feelings from everyone, always trying to portray constant happiness.
He’d told him once this was because he didn’t handle conflict well. Clearly, since based on past results, when he did get upset with someone his idea of resolving the issue was to punch it in the face. That, and he’d seen how anxious he became whenever something did upset him, how he’d panic, and if this was one of those situations, well, he most certainly didn’t want to leave him there to stew in it alone.
It was an odd sensation, to be hesitant to get into his own bed. But after a minute, Lan WangJi gathered up the courage to lift the blankets and slide in next to him. He scooted over as close as he dared, not quite touching Wei WuXian, and propped himself up on one elbow, watching the lump, waiting for him to make the first move. However, all that came out of the pile of blankets was a long, dramatic whine, before it went silent again.
“Wei Ying?” Lan WangJi said unsurely.
Another whine was his answer, softer and more pitiful than the one before.
“May I touch you?”
There was a pause, before the lump made an aborted, jerking motion that resembled a nod, followed by more whimpering. Lan WangJi slowly reached over and placed a gentle hand on what he assumed was Wei WuXian’s head, giving it a couple pats. The whining increased in volume again before giving way to dramatic blubbering, and Lan Wangji couldn’t help but smile softly in fondness, his forehead turning pink.
When he wasn’t pushed away, he scooted a little closer and draped an arm around the other man’s waist. Wei WuXian in turn inched over towards him and Lan WangJi felt him place his head against his chest, nuzzling his face into it. He wondered how the other man could breathe.
The two of them lay there quietly for a few minutes, the only sounds being Lan WangJi’s body humming and people passing by the lab, chattering to one another as they left for the day. However, the sounds outside were slightly muffled behind the closed door. There was only a lamp on beside the bed, plunging the room into low, soft, yellow light. Despite the circumstances, this was nice. Lan WangJi liked when the rest of the world was shut out, leaving only the two of them alone in this sacred space. Having Wei WuXian so close to him, having it be so quiet, it was so nice after a long day at work. He could feel his pulse slowing and calm settling over him. He just hoped Wei WuXian was experiencing the same thing. Hopefully, after he calmed down and gathered his thoughts, he would feel like talking.
It took a few minutes of rubbing the other man’s back and assuring him with his silent presence that Lan WangJi was here, that Wei WuXian could act as pathetic and ridiculous as he wanted and he would still be right here, before his boyfriend finally managed to get his thoughts in order and dared to speak.
"I'm sorry,” he said hoarsely, causing Lan WangJi’s forehead to turn green with worry. Had he been holding back tears under there this whole time? He squeezed him a little closer. “I've just been a mess all day, and your bed is my favorite place. It smells like you."
The LED switched from green to pink so quickly Lan WangJi would have been embarrassed if he could see it, and he was thankful that Wei WuXian could not. Heavens, this man knew what to say to turn him into a pile of mush without even realizing it. All he could find within himself to say without sounding like a fool was, “I am glad it helps you.”
“A lot,” Wei WuXian insisted, his voice muffled by all the blankets. “I don’t know what I did before you and this room were here. Go insane I guess and be eaten alive by all the anxiety.”
“I won’t let that happen anymore,” Lan WangJi told him firmly.
Wei WuXian, if it was possible, managed to squish himself even closer to him with a happy little whine as an answer. Wow, he must have been feeling awful indeed, if there was no playful rebuke about how silly Lan WangJi was being.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as gently as he could manage.
"Nothing,” the doctor answered. “Everything? I don’t fucking know anymore. If nothing is wrong, then why do I feel like such shit? Why am I like this? Ugh, I meant to talk to you about some things, then I made myself all nervous over it for no reason because I'm fucking stupid and”-
“You’re not stupid,” Lan WangJi interrupted. “Unsure, but never stupid.”
Wei WuXian let out a pained groan and squeezed his eyes shut, balling one of his hands into a fist. He couldn’t take how good this man was to him sometimes, especially when he felt he didn’t deserve it.
Over the months since he had come to know him, he had also begun to interpret different tones of his voice. Though he didn’t say it outright, Wei WuXian knew by the softness of his words and the way he kept stroking his back that Lan WangJi was encouraging to him to explain himself, to tell him what was troubling him. Part of him didn’t want to and thought just falling asleep here huddled against the other man’s chest sounded more appealing. But napping wouldn’t make his problems disappear. Stupid logic. He hated it. So instead, he began shifting around, trying to pull the blankets down and away from his face, figuring Lan WangJi deserved him looking him in the eye when he said this.
Except he couldn’t move the blankets.
Wei WuXian tugged fruitlessly at them for a few moments, his elbows poking out from under them every which way, thoroughly amusing Lan WangJi. After a few moments, Wei WuXian slumped and stopped moving with a groan of defeat and what Lan WangJi could only imagine was an adorable pout. He shook his head fondly, and backed up slightly, before carefully starting to extricate him from his blanket prison.
“Your plan to turn yourself into a blanket burrito worked a little too well,” Lan WangJi observed.
“Shush, or I’ll remove one of your wires in your sleep,” Wei WuXian threatened half-heartedly. “You won’t know which one it is until you try to open a door and your thumb falls off or go to take a step and your ankle gets stuck in place.”
Lan WangJi kept untangling the blankets, biting his lip to try and cover up another amused smile. Eventually, he got everything straightened out, and when he at last pulled his comforter down to expose Wei WuXian’s face, he couldn’t help it; he wasn’t strong enough to hold in his smile. The other man’s eyes were narrowed and his nose was adorably red and scrunched up. His lower lip was pushed out in the mother of all pouts, and to make things even better, his hair was standing on end thanks to the static electricity created by the blankets. He looked like an angry cat, and his eyes only narrowed further when he saw how bright a yellow Lan WangJi’s forehead was turning and how hard he was biting his lip to keep from smiling.
“You’re awful,” he declared, and then leaned forward to peck at that smiling mouth.
“Mn,” Lan WangJi agreed.
Wei WuXian smoothed down his hair, propping himself up on one elbow, mirroring the man across from him. He stared down at his hands, watching as they absently tugged at a loose string on one of the blankets. His heart was hammering in his throat, and his stomach felt like a cold ball of ice. Why couldn’t he just say it? Why did he have to make this more awkward than it needed to be? Couples talked about this sort of stuff all the time! Nie Huaisang had said so, and if he was saying so, then it had to be true.
Finally, he took a deep breath, and said in a rush, “It’s…we both- I think it’s both pretty clear that we want to take our relationship further. Yes?”
Lan WangJi blinked. That both had and hadn’t been what he expected Wei WuXian to say. He nodded though and replied, “I do. Do you?”
“Oh yes, definitely,” he assured him. Then, he seemed to shrink in on himself slightly, and he began plucking at that loose thread even more enthusiastically. “But I- and I know we’re both in the same boat on this, so I don’t know why I’m freaking out about. I guess I’m just scared you’re going to hate sex with me because I don’t think I’d be an easy person to have sex with.”
“…What do you mean?”
To his credit, Lan WangJi didn’t sound annoyed; he appeared to be genuinely curious. That had to be a good sign, right? At least he wasn’t kicking him out of bed or becoming annoyed with him. Yet. Wei WuXian took another deep breath, keeping his gaze locked firmly on his hands, feeling his face heat up as he launched into a summary of everything he and Nie Huaisang had discussed. He hoped Lan WangJi wouldn’t hate him for going to his friend to talk about their sex life, or rather, lack of, before him. He nearly dove back under the blankets again by the time he finished up with, “I just don’t want to make it bad for you. I don’t want you to think you’re bad at sex just because I don’t make much noise or it takes a lot to arouse me. And I could understand how you might be hesitant to want to fuck a ball of tension. It’s…I’ve even been to doctors for this, and I can’t tell you how many of them have told me in not so many words that there’s something wrong with me. I guess the implication is that because I’m a man I should always be ready to stick my dick in something at a moment’s notice. So, the idea of me having a hard time relaxing enough to have sex? Not even a possibility in their minds. Logically I know it’s stupid, and yet I haven’t been able to stop internalizing it, worrying my future sexual partners are going to find fault with me. That they’re going to confirm all the bad stuff those doctors said.”
He could feel tears pricking at his eyes, and the arm holding him began trembling. He squeezed his eyes shut. Nausea rose in his stomach, and he convulsively swallowed, trying to tamp down the bile he could feel rising. Why was he so stupid? Why did something so simple affect him so much? This was ridiculous! He shouldn’t be feeling so embarrassed! And yet, he was filled with the urge to run out of this room so he didn’t have to hear how Lan WangJi was going to reply. He could see the other man’s LED flickering different colors against the pillows, but he was too scared to look and see what those colors were. Panic began to set in; his self-deprecating thoughts were right, Lan WangJi was never going to want to touch him again after this, never going to want to look at him, he was a failure, he was-
“Oh Wei Ying.”
Wei WuXian’s eyes popped open, going wide in shock. They only widened further when Lan WangJi did not push him away and instead pulled him into a gentle embrace. His chin set itself on the other man’s hard, metallic shoulder, and he stared at the opposite wall in disbelief. He felt Lan WangJi’s hand splay across his back, warm and large, and he didn’t dare to move or breathe.
And suddenly, Wei WuXian felt completely foolish for worrying the way he did when Lan WangJi told him, “There is nothing wrong with you. If there is, then there’s something wrong with me too. I…am also worried. That you would find me overbearing because I am so…eager about this. I’ve never- my uncle encouraged us not to think about such things, saying that our faith and family was more important. And now that I have the chance- I too am nervous about how I will react.”
The doctor’s mouth felt dry. What was he even saying? That he had been having doubts as well as to whether or not Wei WuXuan would want such things with him? The idea was so far fetched to him, so ridiculous, because Lan WangJi was so- and Wei WuXian was the one with the problem, how could he even- this just made no sense. He didn’t know if he wanted to burst into tears or laughter.
Lan WangJi slowly pulled out of the embrace so that he could look him in the eye, but he kept his hands on Wei WuXian’s. His forehead was pink and his eyes were sincere as he told him, “Everyone is different. Everyone feels good in different ways. And even if it takes years, I plan on spending all that time figuring out what brings you pleasure, in every way you can experience it.”
His forehead suddenly turned deep green once he finished speaking, as if he had just realized what he said. He lowered his eyes towards the bed and their joined hands, looking as unsure as Wei WuXian still felt, and to his surprise, he hid his face in his shoulder, as if he knew what color his forehead was blaring and thought he could cover it up before Wei WuXian could see it. Suddenly, all of the uncertainty and self-doubt that had been eating him up melted away, leaving nothing but unbearable fondness towards this ridiculously precious man. He breathed a laugh through his nose and leaned his head against his.
“Lan Zhan,” he said, almost as an afterthought. And then, more firmly, “Alright. I’ll trust you. After all, how can I not trust the man I love almost as much as I love science?”
Lan WangJi pulled away from him, and when Wei WuXian could see his face again, he snorted at his expression. His forehead was green with displeasure, and his lower lip was well on its way to being pushed out in a pout, though good manners were keeping it in place for now. With an easy smile, Wei WuXian reached up and pushed some errant hair behind his partner’s ears, before saying suggestively, “I mean, the man who I can’t wait to see just how ‘overbearing’ he can be.”
And with that, Lan WangJi’s forehead burned fuchsia so quickly that Wei WuXian nearly laughed himself off the bed.
Notes:
Welp, safe to say I think you guys are going to enjoy the next chapter xD Actually, the next few if we're being honest, there's a lot of smut Joshua has drawn for this AU we need to catch up on xD The idea for WWX becoming a blanket lump came from a Laurie Halse Anderson book I had to read for school ages ago, except I made it cute, if you know how her books usually go, well...xD But omg the sound I made when Joshua presented that art to me for this chapter was so loud and visceral my dog legit came over to me to make sure I was okay xD
Joshua says: "Mo Xuanyu needs a protection squad 2021. The pain cheerios bowl will keep pilling up from now on, ouch. Some may think Wwx's anxious behaviour seems OOC ( well this universe is an AU so obvious there's some major differences. in how he deal with things.), but well considering we're dealing with someone with ADHD, anxiety and insecurities AND it's his first real relationship experience : I say it's way more likely to have doubts and anxiety over it than hit it off with the confidence of 100 men and extremel level of suave. Of course fanfic is fanfic and sometime it's sexier to just ignore all that, but this isn't a PWP so to hit it with a little more realistic approach gives it another flavor. Some may like, some may don't. Lemme know what ya'll think~ "
Chapter 24: Insatiable
Notes:
And all I have to do is hold you
There's a racing within my heart
And I am barely touching youTurn the lights down low
Take it off, let me show
My love for you insatiable
Turn me on, never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you insatiable _ Insatiable, Darren Hayes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
They set a date. Wei WuXian even wrote it on the calendar to make it official in bright red pen. Lan WangJi gave him a deadpan look when he saw it and asked in an equally flat voice, “C Day?”
“Yeah, Cherry Day,” Wei WuXian explained. “Because we’re getting that shit popped.”
Lan WangJi just sighed in a way that said, You’re unholy amounts of ridiculous and I love you with all my heart.
Really, the humor was to cover up how dreadfully nervous he still was. The two of them may have had an intense heart to heart about how what they expected from the other person regarding this, but talking about it and actually doing it were two completely different animals. And at the moment, Wei WuXian felt like a shivering little bunny at the thought of transforming into the famed beast with two backs.
No. It was going to be okay. Of course it was. He knew logically that their first time was not going to be perfect. After all, practical experience and theoretical knowledge were two very different things. They would go through the learning process, trying to figure out what made the other person tick, together. In fact, technically speaking, he was going into this with an advantage because he knew where the good spots on Lan WangJi’s body were. His partner on the other hand was going into this blind, so really, shouldn’t he be the nervous one?
And yet Lan WangJi, the utterly impossible, insane fool, insisted that he be the one to take care of Wei WuXian during their first time. His reasoning? “For as long as I’ve been here, you’ve been the one to take care of me, to make sure I’m happy, that I have what I need, and now lately, that I’m feeling good. Let me do this.”
How was Wei WuXian supposed to refute something as sincere as that?
Wei WuXian felt that Lan WangJi wanted to prove to him that he wasn’t apprehensive about having sex with someone as difficult as him, and Wei WuXian knew that deep down. But his internalized fear had him freaking out about it, because of course he was, and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
C Day, which fell on a Friday because that was when the fewest people would be in Lanling Jin, arrived much sooner than either of them expected. Part of Wei WuXian wanted to push it off to the next day, but he also knew today would be the most logical choice. There were usually hardly any people in Lanling Jin on Fridays because everyone was so desperate to get out and start their weekends. And Wei WuXian knew that if he kept putting it off, he'd never work up the nerve.
After they had dinner and everything had been cleaned up, Lan WangJi told him, "Why don't you work in your lab for a while? I'll call you when everything is ready."
Wei WuXian snorted. “What, do you need time to assemble your sex swing?”
The other man blinked once. "Yes."
Wei WuXian nearly doubled over laughing, and then a minute later, stopped and asked, "Wait, are you serious?"
Lan WangJi gave him a shove towards his work bench and repeated, "Go."
It was crazy, he thought as he attempted to work, although all the stuff on his bench began to blur as he fought not to disassociate. A week had seemed so long to him, and now he was sitting here, hunched over his bench, leg bouncing. Was this how virgins on their wedding nights felt? God, how horrific. How did Nie Huaisang do this with strangers? This was ridiculous; he'd had teenagers in his school getting pregnant all the time. His own sister had even been willing to ruin her reputation over it. It must be just that incredible. Was he going to feel like this before every time he and Lan WangJi had sex? If so, he couldn't imagine he'd want to do it very often. Oh God, if that happened, there was no question Lan WangJi would go back on his word; he would get bored of him and then-
"There is nothing wrong with you. If there is, then there's something wrong with me too."
He paused, taking a deep breath. Lan Wangji had said that. Those words had come out of his own mouth, and he had meant them sincerely. Even when Wei WuXian had borne all of his insecurities to him, he still hadn't back away. In fact, he had pulled him closer. No, it was going to be okay. And if it wasn't, he knew if he wanted to back out, all he’d have to do is say the word and Lan WangJi would be fine with that. They could just cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, and Lan WangJi wouldn’t think less of him for it.
But…Wei WuXian shook himself. No, he definitely still wanted this. He wanted to take this next step. He wanted to become even closer to Lan WangJi, wanted to experience lots of different things with him, and sex just happened to be one of those things. He could do this. In fact, knowing he had the option to back out made him more confident, and he knows for a fact that Lan WangJi wouldn’t plan anything that Wei WuXian wouldn't like.
Like always, he was worrying for nothing, and his head knew it. So why did he have such a hard time convincing his heart?
Before he knew it, his name was being called. Wei WuXian took a deep, shuddering breath, his heart in his throat. Slowly, one finger at a time, he pulled off his gloves, tossed them on his work bench, removed his goggles and hung up his lab coat. It was time.
He tried not to drag his feet as he walked over to Lan WangJi's room. The door seemed larger and more intimidating than usual, probably because when it was just the two of them, his boyfriend almost never kept it closed. Wei WuXian took another deep breath, shook out his hands, and whispered to himself, "It's okay, you got this. He doesn't really have a sex swing."
And then, he opened the door.
He froze in the doorway almost immediately, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. No, there was no sex swing, but the overwhelming smell of sandalwood rapidly settled into his lungs like a warm, heavy weight. He scanned the room; the lamp was on but turned down low, supplemented by a few candles sitting on the nightstand and dressers. There was an extra comforter on top of the bed now too, as well as a thinner blanket on top of that, already pulled back. Gentle music played from a small stereo, soft and low that encouraged his pulse to slow down.
"Lan Zhan?" he questioned.
“I thought…I could give you a massage," the other man explained, his forehead turning deep green. He lowered his eyes to the floor unsurely. "To relax you. To get you used to being touched so that I don’t…overwhelm you. But I thought it might help if you have music playing, since you always listen to it.”
Before he could say another word, his arms were suddenly full of mushy scientist who was gushing, “Oh my God, you sweet pea, you remembered! I can’t, Lan Zhan, you’re so- Lan Zhaaaaan.”
He trailed off into dramatic whining and Lan WangJi sighed, patting his back indulgently, before he said, “Alright, get undressed then? If you want? I’ll…turn around.”
“You are so fucking cute, what the hell," Wei WuXian continued to rant. When he pulled away from him, he made a twirling motion with his finger and said, "Alright, turn around then. Let it be a surprise.”
Lan WangJi complied, facing the opposite wall of his room, watching the shadow of Wei WuXian as it moved around and listening to the sounds of his clothes rustling. His forehead faded to fuchsia, and though he didn't technically have a heart, he could swear he felt it hammering. Steady, he told himself. This is about him, not you. Control yourself. His comfort is the top priority.
When Wei WuXian told him he was ready and Lan WangJi turned around, the hammering sensation only became worse, and he was almost afraid he was going to have to ask Wei WuXian if there was something wrong with him. But deep down, he knew it was all due to nerves. After all, how could he not be taken aback by the beautiful sight of his boyfriend laying on his stomach, arms pillowing his head, and that thin blanket covering the lower half of his body while his upper half remained bare and highlighted by soft, yellow lamplight? His eyes roamed without his consent down his form, taking in the rise of his shoulder blades and the dip of the small of his back, before they stopped on the upward slope of his rear, hidden by the blanket.
He prayed Wei WuXian didn't hear the soft hitch of his breath.
Lan WangJi walked around to the head of the bed, finding that he was unable to help himself. He reached out and began to pet Wei WuXian’s hair, figuring the familiar motion would help to calm the both of him. Wei WuXian hummed in approval and leaned into his hand like a spoiled cat. Lan WangJi even scratched behind his ear, and oh dear it shouldn’t have felt as nice as it did. As he petted him, he explained, “I’ve been…doing some research. On how to do a massage on- well, I thought I could try it. It looked like it would feel good.”
Eyes closed contentedly, Wei WuXian replied, “I trust you.”
And oh, if that simple phrase wasn’t enough to send an arrow straight through his heart. It was no wonder he stammered out, “A-Alright.”
At the moment, he was glad Wei WuXian wasn’t looking at him, because he could see the reflection of his light green stress light on the opposite wall, and he in no way wanted to give away any hints that he wasn’t as confident as he looked. God forbid any of his nervous energy rubbed off on the other man. He took a deep breath, centering himself. If he put this off for any longer, it wouldn’t do either of them any good.
So, as gently as he could manage, he began his massage, carefully pushing Wei WuXian’s hair aside, before he started rubbing his shoulders. He felt badly about not using massage oil, but he knew if he got any of that into his joints and started short circuiting, it’d be at the very least, a huge damper on the sexy mood he was trying to set up. But he figured if he kept his touch light and careful, he shouldn’t hurt him.
As he started to work, Lan WangJi couldn’t help but be transfixed by the bare nape of the other man’s neck. Maybe it was because he didn’t often get to see it, but it looked oddly vulnerable. Pale as well, since he didn’t think it saw the sun often. Soft, so much so that he couldn’t help but lean down and brush his lips against it. He nuzzled his nose against his hair, pushing it further out of the way, breathing in his warmth and enjoying his clean, musky scent.
Wei WuXian smiled to himself.
It continued like that for a little while. Lan WangJi worked his way over his upper body, massaging a group of muscles before leaning in and kissing the bare skin afterwards. However, it was when Lan WangJi went back up and pressed a kiss against the side of Wei WuXian’s neck that the other man jumped and laughed softly, “That tickles! Are the kisses part of the complimentary massage then?”
“Yes,” Lan WangJi told him. His tone became a little sterner when he added, “You’re supposed to be relaxing. Focus on the music and take deep breaths.”
Wei WuXian quickly got his giggles out, before forcing himself to sober up. “Yes, okay. Sorry.”
Naturally, that last for all of about a minute, and then Lan WangJi was forced to pause in his ministrations again as the other man babbled, “Aren’t massages weird? Stroking the skin like that releases the same kind of pain killing chemicals you feel during sex. Like who knew we had this superpower just under our skin? It’s”-
“Wei Ying…” Lan WangJi sighed patiently.
The doctor quickly apologized, “Ugh I know, I’m sorry, quiet, right.”
“Just close your eyes. Focus on my hands. Let them ground you. Take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
Lan WangJi could hear the smirk in his voice when he replied, “Ordering me around again?”
“Yes.”
“Ooooh Lan Zhan, you’re so”-
“Wei Ying. Focus.”
Wei WuXian groaned and hid his face in his arms. This was harder than he thought.
However, let no one say that he was a quitter. He tried again, breathing the way Lan WangJi said he should. In, and out. Slow breaths that he kept low in his stomach, so deep he could feel them forcing his body to rise and fall in time with his inhalations and exhalations. He focused on the music. It was simple and peaceful. Mediation music. Definitely not what he was used to, but it allowed it to serve its purpose. Lan WangJi even gave him a little extra help, reaching up and stroking his hair again, and the familiar motion made him smile.
“Did you do meditation a lot?” Wei WuXian couldn’t help but ask, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Is that why you’re so…efficient? At this?”
“Mn,” Lan WangJi answered. “Helped me relax when all I could focus on was the pain.”
His partner breathed a laugh. “Well, it’s certainly doing that to me. If I fall asleep, I apologize. I know that’s terribly unsexy.”
“If you fall asleep, then I’ll put you to bed,” Lan WangJi said. “I will consider it a compliment.”
Again, Wei WuXian laughed, but after that, to his masseuse’s delight, he actually took his advice and quieted down, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing. Gradually, one by one, his muscles started to relax, and he allowed himself to sink into the bed. To say Lan WangJi was proud of him was an understatement; he felt like a parent that had finally gotten their unruly child to settle down for a nap.
However, pride certainly wasn’t the only thing he was feeling in that moment. Because now that Wei WuXian was quiet, he could focus on…other matters. Such as not blowing out a few wires as more and more of Wei WuXian’s body was bared to him. His marveled at his back, how the other man’s bones and muscles shifted as he moved to get more comfortable. How he could feel them twitch and shift under his fingers. And how terribly hard they were. The poor thing. He needed this massage years ago.
Lan WangJi continued along happily like that until he came to the edge of the blanket. His hands paused in their ministrations, resting on Wei WuXian’s lower back. Oh, he was being ridiculous. This wasn’t nearly as big a deal as his stupid, panicking brain was making it out to be. So what if he had fantasized about what Wei WuXian’s butt looked like as he stared at it while the scientist flitted down across his lab and he got those few, rare glimpses of his lab coat billowing like a cape behind him? If he treated it like a big deal, then things might get weird, and he didn’t need that. So, he steadied himself, cleared his throat, and pulled the sheet down to the other man’s ankles. He carefully watched his partner for any signs of discomfort. Wei WuXian tensed for a moment, but he couldn’t be sure if that was out of surprise, the chill, or because he didn’t like where this was going.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
Wei WuXian, despite how hard his heart was pounding from the knowledge that this was the most naked he’d ever been in front of someone in his adult life, answered without hesitation. “Yes, I’m fine.”
Perhaps it was the affirmation that everything was okay, or perhaps it was how low and quiet Wei WuXian’s voice had become. Either way, Lan WangJi couldn’t quite cover up the hitch in his breathing that time. Wei WuXian smirked and asked cheekily, “Like what you see?”
That was an understatement. Lan WangJi was happy to say that his suspicions were confirmed. Wei WuXian was very blessed in the ass department. His forehead blared between fuchsia and deep green, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t look away. Was he really allowed to touch something so lovely? Wei WuXian was really going to let him put his greedy hands all over it and even more shockingly, he might actually enjoy it? The idea was too much for Lan WangJi to bear.
On Wei WuXian’s end, he was quite happy that when Lan WangJi finally did gather up the nerve to touch him, not only was he not scared, but it actually felt…nice. The other man’s hands were careful and deft, kneading the plump flesh into a state of utter relaxation. He found himself getting pleasant chills from the action and without even much thought, he settled into it, subtly pressing himself against those warm hands.
All too soon though, Lan WangJi had to move onto his legs, much to Wei WuXian’s disappointment, but it turned out having the back of his thighs and calves done was just as pleasurable too, especially when Lan WangJi chanced dragging his fingers lightly over his skin, causing more goosebumps to rise. However, this seemed to be the goal, because he let out a little satisfied hum, and then moved on to his ankles and feet.
Once he had finished tending to that area, he said somewhat hesitantly, "Alright, you can...roll onto your back."
"Mmph," Wei WuXian replied, beginning to feel dopey and slow from all the endorphins the massage was making. He did as he was told, keeping his eyes shut and the blanket firmly in his lap, although it did slip a bit as he shifted, revealing a sliver of his hipbones and a large portion of a happy trail that Lan WangJi had only caught teasing glimpses of before. He swore he stopped breathing for a few seconds, and it took a herculean effort to tear his eyes away.
As he gently began to press his fingers against the other man's neck and drag them up along his jawline, he forced himself to think about something else. His gaze drifted down along Wei WuXian's torso, and he found himself marveling at how healthy his partner looked now. It had to have been only a few months ago that he fainted in front of his work bench, his cheekbones too prominent and his neck too thin for Lan WangJi's comfort. But now, his bones had disappeared for the most part, softened by more fat and muscle. His forehead glowed yellow, displaying his pride in himself for helping the other man along. However, more than anything, he was proud of Wei WuXian for taking his advice, given how stubborn he could be. He didn't think he had to worry about him fainting again any time soon.
Slowly, he worked his way down, caressing the other man's shoulders, chest, and down his sides, trying and failing to hold back a smile at how he made goosebumps rise on Wei WuXian's skin, especially when he kept his touch light. However, his smile disappeared when he finally reached his partner's lap. He stroked the edge of the blanket for a moment, his forehead flashing light green with uncertainty, before he took a deep, steadying breath, and saw his forehead fade into a soft fuchsia against the wall by the head of the bed. In a low voice laced with nervous excitement, he asked, "Are you ready?"
Still half dead, Wei WuXian mumbled, "Yeah...go for it."
However, he didn't pull the blanket down right away. Wei WuXian didn't know if he was stalling for time, or because now he thought it was appropriate, but he heard the rustling of clothes being shed. He smiled to himself; had Lan WangJi been so caught up in what they were doing that he'd forgotten to get undressed as well? Or had he just wanted to wait so he didn't make him uncomfortable? Either way, it took more strength than Wei WuXian possessed not to smile. Lan WangJi was just too cute for his own good.
When he finished, he heard the other man let out a shaky breath before he pulled the blanket off of him entirely, leaving him completely bare. He wasn't brave enough to open his eyes and see the expression Lan WangJi was wearing, or the color of his LED. He knew deep down that Nie Huasiang was right, that no matter what, Lan WangJi would desire him, but those negative inner voices kept whispering but what if in his ear. What if after all this, the other man was having second thoughts? After all, Wei WuXian had put on quite a bit of weight recently. Was that enough for Lan WangJi to be repulsed by him? If it wasn't, then surely the further they went, the more he-
Lan WangJi crawled onto the bed without a word, positioning himself between his legs, carefully nudging them out of the way. He watched Wei WuXian's face the entire time. A little line had appeared between his brows, but he wasn't sure if that was a response to the cold or something else. He had told him he could touch him...was he changing his mind?
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"M'fine," Wei WuXian mumbled. "I just need to settle into it."
Right, of course. He just had to have patience. And he could help by keeping his touches light and slow to start with, to ease him into the experience. He took another deep breath, and let it out slowly. Wei WuXian felt the warm air brush over his body, and had to resist the urge to shiver. This was real. They were really doing this. He wasn't entirely sure what this at this very moment was, but he trusted Lan WangJi.
When he touched him, Wei WuXian didn't jump out of his skin, and for that, he felt like he deserved a medal. However, his pulse did skyrocket, but only because this...wasn't what he was expecting. Lan WangJi wasn't trying to jerk him off. It seemed like this was just a continuation of the massage he'd been doing. He could tell he was nervous by the tremble in his hands, the uncertainty in which he touched him, as if even now, he was scared of hurting him. He started off by gripping him lightly with his thumb and forefinger, moving his fingers up one over the other from the base to the tip. Then, he carefully moved his fingers in a screwing motion just under the head, fingers gliding easily through the tiny amount of lube Lan WangJi chanced using on the tips of his fingers. He even gently pressed Wei WuXian's member against his stomach with both large, warm palms and rubbed in upward motions.
It was...strange. Not because it felt bad, that's for sure. But Lan WangJi had told him before that this massage in particular wasn't meant to make him come, or even necessarily arouse him, though if either happened, he knew the other man wouldn't mind. At the same time, there was something very freeing about this. There was no pressure for him to perform; his only job was to feel good. Wei WuXian stretched, arching his back and raising his arms up over his head, baring his midline more prominently in a show of trust.
Lan WangJi's mouth may or may not have gone as dry as a desert at the sight.
Even more interestingly, as time went on and Wei WuXian relaxed into the sensations even more, his reactions to them became more and more...intriguing. It was clear that he was feeling pleasure, based on how his thighs would twitch every once in a while, how his belly would suck in as his breathing hitched, and how his brows would draw further and further together. All very subtle signs that he might have missed if he wasn’t paying attention. However, Lan WangJi couldn’t help but feel that he was holding back, trying to conceal that he felt good. He understood; he was probably embarrassed. Lan WangJi shook his head fondly at him, his forehead lighting up pink. This man…well, he had said he’d be a challenge. And that was just fine with Lan WangJi. If Wei WuXian was too easy to figure out, then this wouldn’t be nearly as fun.
Time to step things up a notch.
“Wei Ying,” he said. “Do you mind if I…?”
He slid his hands over the inside of Wei WuXian’s thighs in long, slow circles, deliberately being a tease, before his fingers reached their goal, brushing up against his perineum. Wei WuXian turned his head and smiled into his shoulder, his eyes still closed.
“What, give me a prostate massage? Sure, go for it,” he answered. “Always wanted to try one of those. Just know…I’ve tried anal stuff before. It didn’t feel bad, but it wasn’t as amazing as I thought it’d be. I certainly wouldn’t be able to get off on it alone.”
Lan WangJi nodded. “That’s alright. As long as it feels good.”
That’s what he said, and yet…he wasn’t exactly sure how to make it feel good.
Yes, he’d done research. However, this was a bit more intense than some light touches meant to warm up Wei WuXian’s dick and get him used to being touched there. The goal there wasn’t necessarily to make him come. But this…Lan WangJi had given himself prostate massages. He knew how ferociously ecstatic they could make one feel. And despite Wei WuXian’s warning, he was scared of disappointing him, of not being the exception to the other man’s rule. Of not being the special person that could make Wei WuXian come when all other things had failed. If he couldn’t do that, what sort of boyfriend, no, what sort of man was he?
Well, only one way to find out.
Again, he coated his fingers in the tiniest amount of lube, praying that it wouldn’t leak into his joints, before he very carefully slid his pointer and middle finger inside of Wei WuXian’s body while he rested his thumb against his perineum.
“Okay?” he asked.
"Fine, don’t worry,” Wei WuXian assured him. “You got me all relaxed beforehand, so I’m not tense at all. I promise it doesn’t hurt. Just feels funny.”
Lan WangJi smiled, oddly endeared by how Wei WuXian continued to keep his eyes closed. That was okay, whatever he needed to do to be comfortable. He answered, “I promise I’ll make it so it feels more than ‘funny’ in a bit.”
“Oh Lan Zhan, be easy on my poor heart.”
“…No.”
Wei WuXian ugly laughed at his blunt response, and then laughed even harder at the fact that he was laughing while someone had their fingers in his ass like it was no big deal. He couldn’t help but observe, “Lan Zhan, I feel like a bowling ball. You going to roll me down the hall and get a strike?”
Lan WangJi rolled his eyes nearly to the heavens. If he didn’t love this man with all his heart, honestly, he might kill him. Instead of replying, he squeezed his fingers inside him, before he started rhythmically stroking the other man’s walls.
And this was….oh. Oh.
Quite honestly, Lan WangJi had been completely focused on his partner’s pleasure during this whole endeavor. And, so, he hadn’t stopped to think about how sticking his fingers inside of Wei WuXian might feel for him. And it was incredible, to put it mildly. His insides were hot and tight, but also gave way easily for his fingers, stretching to accommodate him. That was his first observation. But his second was if it feels this good now, how would it feel when he stuck another part of himself inside him?
It was enough to knock the breath out of Lan WangJi.
Slowly, he worked the other man, softening his outsides and insides in tandem, eventually finding his goal and stroking the areas in firm, mellow circles. He couldn’t help but close his eyes for a brief moment, focusing on how Wei WuXian’s flesh yielded so easily for him, how there was so little tension in his body. He trusted Lan WangJi wholeheartedly, trusted him with this most sensitive part of him. It was overwhelming.
His eyes opened and his ears pricked when he heard Wei WuXian sigh, long and deep. His face was still relaxed, his breathing soft. His legs widened the tiniest amount. With his free hand, Lan WangJi rewarded him with a stroke and a kiss to the inside of his knee and murmured in a low voice against his skin, “Good job. Keep your breath low in your diaphragm. You’re doing well, keeping your lower body relaxed.”
“Mmmglad,” Wei WuXian mumbled, and Lan WangJi shook his head in amusement at his reply.
His partner was feeling…well, the sensation wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t blowing his mind either. At least, not yet. The slow, repetitive motions were like the beginnings of a warm wave, and Lan WangJi’s fingers were the force that was pushing those waves towards the shore. The more enthusiastic he became, the larger and more heated the waves became, building and building. They were being pushed up and outwards, spreading into his hips, his lower belly, and down further into his cock.
On one particular stroke, several things happened at once. Firstly, the stroke was so precisely firm in exactly the right spot, that, to the wonder of a fascinated Lan WangJi, it forced a soft gush of pre-come to dribble from the tip of his partner’s length onto his lower belly. The thin strand of fluid remained suspended for a moment, glistening in the low, yellow light, before it snapped. Secondly, even more mesmerizing, he heard Wei WuXian let loose a quiet, sharp whimper that he abruptly cut off by slapping a hand against his mouth. He froze, his eyes wide with shock, as if he couldn’t believe he’d just done that, and Lan WangJi was suddenly so concerned that he’d hurt him that he nearly yanked his fingers out of him and asked if he was okay.
But thankfully, Wei WuXian put his worries to rest by babbling, “Shit I’m sorry, that was- I mean, I’ve been feeling strange, I didn’t mean to…”
Lan WangJi sighed fondly, and patted the outside of his partner’s thigh soothingly. “No, don’t apologize. If it feels good, you should vocalize it.”
“But it’s embarrassing,” he whined, throwing an arm across his eyes dramatically, and oh shit Lan WangJi shouldn’t have found that as cute as he did. His forehead blared pink.
“I’m the only one that will hear you,” he assured him. And then, he admitted. “And…I want to.”
Wei WuXian’s breath stuttered in his chest, and beneath his arm, Lan WangJi could see that a blush was beginning to creep down his face, neck and even towards his chest. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, before suggesting, “T-Then…maybe if you want to hear me more, you should- I don’t know, fuck me or something. I’d, well, I know it’s more psychological than physical, but the idea of you being above me and plowing into me has- most definitely- been what’s gotten me off more than once. I just like imagining feeling the strength of your body against mine, how focused your eyes would be, how bright your fuchsia light would shine and- mmf!”
Suddenly, Lan WangJi’s fingers left him and the other man had slid up his body to kiss the living daylights out of him. His lips weren’t soft though; they were hungry, full of a want Wei WuXian hadn’t experienced before. He was sure his boyfriend wasn’t aware of it either when his hips jerked twice in a thrusting motion, allowing his cock to slide next to Wei WuXian’s. They only felt the briefest sensation of the two of them touching, but it was enough to make them both gasp heatedly, and for Lan WangJi to wheeze, “Y-Yes. Yes, Wei Ying. I would be…honored. If you would- inside, please…”
Hearing how excited he suddenly sounded, Wei WuXian couldn’t help but laugh, and the combination with his red face only made Lan WangJi kiss him again. Between kisses, Wei WuXian managed to breathe, “You gotta- you gotta let me roll over.”
“Mmm,” Lan WangJi hummed, moving down from his lips to his neck, and then his chest, completely ignoring what he said. Wei WuXian rolled his eyes.
“Uh oh, am I going to have to rewire your dick so you stop thinking with it after this is over?”
To his surprise, Lan WangJi gripped him by the hips and began making little tugging motions, encouraging him to roll onto his stomach, and Wei WuXian hated himself for finding that as attractive as he did. What if he just laid here? Would Lan WangJi get impatient and manhandle him into the position he wanted?
Another night. Another night, he’d be more willing to find out. As it was, he was becoming as impatient as his partner.
After Lan WangJi sat back on his knees and allowed him some room, Wei WuXian got onto his hands and knees, placing his hands on the headboard, letting his head hang down between his shoulders. Lan WangJi took a moment to marvel at him, watching as his silky hair spilled as easily as water over his shoulders to bare his nape once more. As he bent his neck, the top most vertebrae of his spine became more prominent, and unable to resist, he leaned up and gently bit it, before nosing his way into his hair.
Wei WuXian was about to make a comment about how his partner just seemed to be obsessed with his hair, but he was stopped by the feeling of Lan WangJi sliding into him in one, smooth motion. His breath left him in a rush, and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, his hands balling into fists against the headboard so tightly that his knuckles whitened, his nails scraping the wood.
“Are you okay?” Lan WangJi asked, concerned. “Do you need me to stop?”
“No,” Wei WuXian rasped, keeping his head low and his breaths even. His sides rose and fell heavily as he fought to control himself. “Just- hold still for a minute. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just…a lot.”
It was quiet for several moments as he allowed him to adjust, and, feeling helpless as to what he should do, Lan WangJi stroked his sides, massaging his muscles reflexively. He kissed where he could reach on his shoulders, observing, “It’s…really warm.”
It took Wei WuXian a bit to realize what he meant, and when he did, he snorted, before cracking up into laughter. He glanced over his shoulder and said, “Well, I’d hope so. Lan Zhan you’re so cute, I can’t with you.”
The other man felt like he should be embarrassed, but he was too relieved by the fact that the tension had left Wei WuXian’s shoulders. He instead nuzzled the back of his boyfriend’s neck, dropping more kisses there, hoping the affection would cancel out the discomfort he had made him feel.
It took a minute or two more before Wei WuXian finally pressed himself more firmly against his partner’s pelvis, and said, “Okay. I’m okay now. You can go ahead,” and with a final kiss to the base of his neck, he finally started moving.
It wasn’t…bad. It certainly felt familiar given how he’d used to go to town with his sex toys back when he was young and horny, but it was also completely different. Perhaps that was why he felt a little uneasy at first, because it was the same and yet not. Wei WuXian kept gripping the headboard, clenching his jaw, trying to keep himself steady against the soft, rocking motion Lan WangJi was building up. It took a few thrusts before it started feeling…well, the pleasure wasn’t coming from the act itself, but rather how Wei WuXian was at his partner’s mercy. His breathing grew a little heavier at the knowledge. He was willingly submitting, allowing himself to be used for his pleasure, and that was more than a little bit of a turn on. He arched more into Lan WangJi, making an effort to press back into him and meet him as he thrusted forward. The resulting smack of their hips was ridiculous, and yet…and yet, it was also kind of…
Lan WangJi was slowly getting into it as well, squeezing his hips more tightly, gradually picking up speed, his breathing growing more unsteady. He bent further over Wei WuXian, practically covering him with his body, his moist breath fanning over his skin. Again, he mouthed at the back of Wei WuXian’s shoulder, as if he was debating whether or not to bite him. The idea was so primal, so base, that it pushed a little whine out of Wei WuXian against his will. And of course, that just encouraged Lan WangJi even more.
And so they continued like that, Wei WuXian’s body being jostled and his bones being tenderly rattled as his partner’s hips smacked into the meat of his rear over and over. Lan WangJi was letting out little gasps and moans, eventually reaching around Wei WuXian’s body to grab at his neglected erection. Before he could process that fully, Lan WangJi started jerking him off, slow and then fast, in tandem with his thrusts. And oh, that was so much better. Wei WuXian bit his bottom lip; he knew Lan WangJi wanted to hear him. He did. But it was still so- it was too strange. He didn’t want to hear his voice echoing in the room around him. Yet…oh, his nerves were alive and he was so warm all over, so relaxed and pliable. The more Lan WangJi washed away reality with pleasure, the less it seemed to matter. The more he replaced all of Wei WuXian’s senses with him, his smell, his voice, his warmth, the easier it was for him to disappear completely into the world he was trying to create for them in this room. And this was a world just made up of the two of them, where there was no judgement; only love, passion, and a distinct desire for Lan WangJi to hear Wei WuXian scream.
So…would it really be so bad to give that to him?
What they were doing though, it wasn't enough, not nearly enough. And so, breathlessly, he begged Lan WangJi, “On your back. Lan Zhan let me- here, I’ll ride you, and you can hold onto me.”
“Yes,” Lan WangJi groaned right next to his ear, and holy shit, Wei WuXian would never get over how good that sounded. “Yes, please, please. Want you on top of me. I want to see your face as I- Wei Ying.”
After some hasty, clumsy fumbling, they righted themselves, and Lan WangJi leaned back against his pillows while Wei WuXian straddled him before sinking down on his cock again. The difference was immediate, and he wheezed, “Holy hell,” before resuming the pace they had before. Gods above, this position was so much better. Lan WangJi was reaching so much deeper, scraping places Wei WuXian didn’t even know he had and making the nerves sing his praises. This was exactly what he needed, and finally, Wei WuXian allowed himself to disappear into the pleasure. It was like Lan WangJi had miraculously found that magical switch that turned his partner’s brain off so that he could just allow himself to feel without overthinking how ridiculous he must look. Lan WangJi felt the change, felt Wei WuXian speed up his thrusts, and held him more firmly guide his movements, but Wei WuXian was not having it. He took charge, easily overpowering him and controlling their speed. He was the one moving Lan WangJi’s hands, and all Lan WangJi could do was gasp and hang on for dear life.
And suddenly, it was as if time had slowed down and become suspended in one perfect, golden moment characterized by Wei WuXian letting go of his tightly held anxiety. For that brief moment, he cast it aside and was free. He let his head tilt back, baring the long line of his glistening throat, sweat flying off his forehead and shining in the lamplight before it vanished. His lips were parted on a cry that was raw and yet sweet, low enough in timbre that it vibrated in the air around them. His face was a mask of ecstasy so divine that Lan WangJi was drawn helplessly in by it, a willing prisoner. Thanks to the glow behind them, Wei WuXian looked like a god come to the mortal realm.
And there was no force in the world that could have made Lan WangJi look away from him.
Wei WuXian finished himself off soon after that, breaking them out of their reverie, the pleasure almost becoming so painful that he felt he needed to end it quickly, and of course, when he felt Wei WuXian contract around him, Lan WangJi followed soon after. So overwhelmed where they that there was no other choice for them but to cling to each other like their lives depended on it, Wei WuXian reaching down for Lan WangJi pleadingly. And as always, Lan WangJi caught him, and held him close.
The two of them laid in bed, curled around each other like two halves of one whole, like the cycle of the moon as it chased after the sun in its never-ending circle. He buried his nose in Wei WuXian’s hair, while his partner panted and pressed frantic kisses to his neck, whispering hoarsely over and over, “I love you, I love you,” like they were the only words he knew. Like they were a prayer to soothe them both.
Like they were the words the sun whispered to make the moon chase it, to make it insatiable.
Notes:
I pray you guys like this :'D Please forgive all the weird humor, it's there to cover up the fact that Caro is not confident when it comes to writing smut, but I had some fun writing it :3 Couldn't resist throwing a bit of lingam massage in there because I'm garbage, but those that have read my other fics are going to see I have a type when it comes to smut scenes xD But goooooddd Joshua's art, can you take it, it's too beautiful for my impure eyes. Enjoy!
Joshua says: " Softness, communication, trust, hilarious LWJ one-liners, wwx being a smartass.... seriously: What's there not to like? I am a total slut for massage scenes and you can bet it would have found it's way in this fic one war or another. Hope everyone enjoyed it and please offer kind words to caro for working hard on this chapter despite dealing with a LOT right now. Shower her with good vibes!"
Edit: Just got a Twitter account ya'll, finally pulled my head outta my ass, you can find me here :3 https://twitter.com/CorgisFairy
Chapter 25: Weapon of Choice
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was as if a barrier had been broken down that they hadn’t even known was up between them. But now that it had, the two of them became closer than ever. Which, they supposed that was only natural after having seen each other at their most vulnerable, but Wei WuXian was still very surprised at just how much of a shift their relationship seemed to have taken, as if now, they knew for sure they had nothing to hide from each other. It was as if a whole new world had opened up for them, one that allowed them to exist together as easy as breathing.
Even more surprisingly, not only had Lan WangJi told Wei WuXian that he’d had a great time that night (impossible, really? With his anxious ass? He could hardly believe it, even hearing it from his own mouth), but it looked like he might even want more.
No, not might. He definitely wanted more. He didn’t even say anything; it was all in the looks he gave Wei WuXian, in the way he kissed him and then glanced longingly at his room. Those sad puppy eyes absolutely cracked Wei WuXian up. Nie Huaisang was right. His partner had a hidden horny side that it seemed only he was privy to. It was interesting though, because though Lan WangJi told him with his body what he wanted, he seemed far too nervous to verbalize it. However, this didn’t surprise Wei WuXian, given the other man’s nature. Thankfully, not only was he getting better at reading his expressions, but it was impossible for him to hide his fuchsia light when it would appear at the most inopportune times; during lunch, when Wei WuXian would happen upon him at work, or even during his physical therapy sometimes. It took everything in the doctor not to laugh, and finally he took mercy on the poor man.
"You know, you won't scare me if you ask to have sex,” he told him one day, placing his hands on his chest. “The worst I can say is no. I won't think less of you."
Lan WangJi tilted his head at him as he processed what he said, before he leaned forward and hid his face in his shoulder before nuzzling against it, cute and kitten like. Wei WuXian snorted, unable to stand how adorable he was. He mumbled into his lab coat, "Then can we please...? This weekend?"
This weekend was only a few short days away. For some reason, the idea of Lan WangJi being so eager that he couldn’t wait to hop into bed with him again filled Wei WuXian with glee. It made him feel desired, and that more than anything made him say, “Sure, why not? I just can’t resist your cute little face.”
Then, he slid his hands further down, slapped Lan WangJi’s ass with both hands and said, “Or this.”
He fully expected the other man to become flustered, but instead, Lan WangJi only leaned in further, his forehead flickering from green to fuchsia. His eyes seemed to glow with intensity, making heat spontaneously wash down Wei WuXian’s back. He laughed nervously, suddenly feeling like ripping off his pants in the middle of the lab in plain view of anyone passing by in the hallway seemed very viable. But of course, he knew better, and so he settled for a playful growl, pressing their foreheads together and saying, “I know that look. You are so bad. Save it for the weekend.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up both fuchsia and yellow, and his eyes narrowed in pleasure. He said in a low voice that only made Wei WuXian feel even warmer, "If it's alright, there's something I've always wanted to try..."
And that was how they found themselves in Lan WangJi’s room come Saturday, Wei WuXian wearing nothing but his lab coat while the two of them went at it.
He was holding his partner in his lap, once again laying back against the pillows. Wei WuXian was taking a brief breather from the effort of pushing himself up and down on the other man’s lap, deciding he could act as a cock warmer for a bit. He felt like he should be worried about stains, but in reality, this lab coat had seen worse. He leaned back a bit, arching his neck and pushing out his chest with a proud grin on his face as he told him in a falsely scandalized voice, "Lan WangJi, I would have never taken you for someone that has a doctor kink."
Lan WangJi gently kneaded his thighs, causing goosebumps to appear on Wei WuXian’s skin. He replied, “I think it’s just you.”
The doctor laughed with delight. "Ah, so I eroticized the lab coats for you? Oh dear, does that mean you'll pop boners when you catch sight of the other staff in their lab coats?"
He gave his hips a couple of teasing rolls, causing Lan WangJi to narrow his eyes and thrust up into him in the way he remembered setting him off before, and after a couple of tries, success. Wei WuXian’s smile was knocked right off his face. His brows drew together, and his mouth dropped open, his head slowly tilting back.
"These hands you built, how do they feel on you?" Lan WangJi asked in a soft, low voice, his lips curling into a smug smile.
He considered it a huge compliment when Wei WuXian couldn’t even speak, except to gasp out his name. Lan WangJi began thrusting more enthusiastically, building up a stronger rhythm. He reached down to grab Wei WuXian’s rear, squeezing it and using his grip as leverage to help lift and lower his partner on his cock. Wei WuXian let out another pleased moan, leaning back into those hands. He was very proud of himself for how quickly he calmed down this time, getting into that peaceful headspace he had achieved before much more quickly. Now that the pressure to perform perfectly was gone, as well as knowing that Lan WangJi really didn’t care how good or bad he was at it, he could relax, and he started feeling good a lot sooner.
However, his favorite thing was seeing Lan WangJi’s face when he started making those little pleasured sounds. His gaze became heavy, almost a physical weight as he watched his face. His lips were parted in awe, and his eyes were practically glowing in the dim light. Wei WuXian had no doubt that if Lan WangJi were able, he’d be flushed from his cheeks to his chest, and though he was a little sad he wouldn’t be able to witness such a thing, his bright fuchsia light gilding their bodies more than made up for it.
Lan WangJi took that opportunity to wrap his fingers around Wei WuXian’s cock and slowly start jerking him off, causing his partner to swear softly and push his hips closer into his hand. His brain whited out for a moment as he absorbed this new stimulus, but when it cleared again, an idea suddenly occurred to him, and his lips curled into a devious smile. He leaned back, putting his hands on Lan WangJi’s knees, pushing his pelvis even closer towards him and spreading his legs.
However, he was only able to manage a couple of thrusts before his back started to ache and his arms burned warningly. He paused, fixed his eyes on the ceiling, groaning, “Oh no…mistakes were made.”
Lan WangJi tore his eyes away from his hips with great difficulty to meet his eyes again. Wei WuXian laughed, "Sorry, I feel like I might have been able to do this ten years ago. Fuck, thirty-one hit me hard."
Wei WuXian glanced down from the ceiling to look at Lan WangJi, and it took everything in him not to laugh harder at the other man’s expression. He just looked so cutely disappointed at the prospect of Wei WuXian changing positions, and yet he was trying so hard to hide that fact, as if he was afraid of making his partner do something that he didn’t want to do. When was he was going to learn to ask for things that he wanted? He sighed, shaking his head fondly at him, and said, “I think I can hang on for a little while longer though.”
Turns out, that decision was worth it. Lan WangJi gave him a look that said, You’re sure? Alright then, before he…well, he didn’t exactly turn his gaze back to Wei WuXian’s hips. Rather, he would look for a moment, and then hastily looked away again, his forehead flashing deep green. His LED would only become brighter when Wei WuXian gave his hips a few experimental thrusts, interspersed with some flashes of fuchsia, his eyes utterly captivated. It shouldn’t have been adorable, given the circumstances, and yet it was. Wei WuXian bit his lip against a smile.
"You're allowed to look, silly,” he insisted, lifting his hips for emphasis. “That's why I'm shoving it in your face."
Once he heard that, Lan WangJi seemed reassured. He let loose a small, shuddering sigh, and Wei WuXian could feel his warm breath against his skin. The other man was mesmerized as he watched the slow, dreamlike way his hips moved, watched his muscles work, felt how the ends of his hair tickled his thighs. He seemed to be drawn in by how his hipbones stood out against his skin, looking very biteable, and how he could feel his thighs flexing against his waist. This close, he could smell Wei WuXian’s intimate scent, and it sat heavily in his lungs, making him feel dizzy. The primal part of his brain hoped he’d smell like Wei WuXian for hours after they were done making love so that others would know who claimed him.
Well then…Wei WuXian would certainly be lying if he said that gaze didn’t turn him on like nothing else.
As if Lan WangJi could sense this, he said with reverence, “Wei Ying looks beautiful and healthy. I’m so proud of you.”
It took Wei WuXian a minute to understand what he meant by that, but when he did, his face turned bright red, a pleased smile curving his lips. “Is that right? You’re happy I put on all that weight? That you encouraged me to turn into this mushy lump?”
“Absolutely,” Lan WangJi said without hesitation.
Wei WuXian felt absolutely pathetic when that response pushed a whine out of him, and again he bit his lip, and oh heavens if that sight didn’t drive Lan WangJi out of his skin. It looked like he wasn’t the only one with a praise kink.
Naturally, this just spurned Lan WangJi on even more. He stroked Wei WuXian in just the right places when he needed it, offered a pleasant brush against his prostate when he needed that as well, alternating between the two. He murmured in a low voice deep in his chest, things like, “You make the prettiest sounds, Wei Ying,” and, “You feel so good, the best.” Not to mention little murmurs of, “Wei Ying, Wei Ying,” as well as, “Good boy, you’re so good for me.” And Wei WuXian would feel embarrassed that such things were what ultimately made him come, except for the fact that the orgasm it pushed out of him was so intense that any thoughts of embarrassment were well and truly far away.
And perhaps that’s where Lan WangJi’s true magic was; making him not care about insecurities he'd had for years.
It was some time later that Lan WangJi approached Wei WuXian with some rather unusual requests. Well, not unusual in and of themselves, but rather, they were unusual because Lan WangJi was the one asking.
Request number one: "I want you to design something that allows you to be the one to penetrate me."
Wei WuXian froze, the tool he was holding clattering to the ground without him even attempting to catch it. He wheezed audibly, and though Lan WangJi couldn’t see his face with him turned towards his work bench, his expression was easy enough to imagine. He smirked when he heard Wei WuXian’s punched out reply, "I think...I can manage that."
His forehead turned yellow, and he came up behind Wei WuXian, squeezing him tightly around the waist, nuzzling his face into the back of his neck. His partner laughed, pulled out of his surprised stupor, placing his hands on top of his.
It was with his face buried in his hair that Lan WangJi made his second request. “I want to go on another date.”
Wei WuXian answered after a moment, “Sure, where to?”
He was expecting him to suggest another park or perhaps somewhere else more exciting. But the other man surprised him thoroughly by answering, “Your place.”
The doctor gave him a confused look. "You sure? I mean, a bunch of my stuff is in your room now at this point, so your room is more ‘my place’ now than my actual home."
Still, Lan WangJi insisted, “I want to see,” and Wei WuXian knew better than to argue with his stubborn self.
So, he snuck his boyfriend home one evening during the weekend, and by the time they walked through the doorway and were taking their shoes off, the sun was beginning to set. After shedding his coat, Wei WuXian walked away from the entryway and held his hands out, saying grandly, “Here we go! My mansion. I’m sorry, there’s not too much to see. Like I said, I’m hardly here. This is only where I go when work kicks me out and so I’m not homeless.”
Lan WangJi huffed a laugh and walked away from the entrance to join him, his forehead bright yellow. Wei WuXian backed up a step, watching as he lifted his head and scanned the walls. Contrary to what he said, there was in fact plenty to look at. First and foremost, alongside a few framed pictures, Wei WuXian had a lot of neon signs on his walls that, as the light grew dimmer, were beginning to turn on automatically. They were all as bright as the lights on Lan WangJi’s body, nearly blinding to the eye, and easily capable of lighting up each room. There were at least a dozen of them, and every single one of them were the colors of pride flags. There was text on many of them, but all of it was in English.
Curious, he nodded towards the one colored like the gay pride flag and asked, “What does that one say?”
Wei WuXian snorted. It figured that would be the first one he asked about. “Live, Laugh, Eat ass.”
Lan WangJi raised an eyebrow, his expression as flat as ever. Wei WuXian explained, “I had online friends when I was younger who showed me it. Said it was a joke based on how all their old, homophobic grandparents had signs in their houses that said ‘Live, Laugh, Love.’ I thought it was funny.”
He couldn’t quite resist rolling his eyes. Of course. He looked around at more of the signs, before pointing up at another one. This one was colored like the bisexual pride flag. “And that one?”
Wei WuXian folded his arms and leaned his weight back on his heels, puffing up his chest proudly. He followed Lan WangJi’s finger, and for some reason, the other man really liked seeing him awash in the colors that represented his orientation. His grin became all teeth as he answered cheekily, “Bitch,’ but see, the bi part is colored like the pride flag, so it’s ‘bi bitch.’ I liked it so much that I found a shirt that says that too. Wen Qing keeps daring me to wear it under my lab coat, and I told her I will if she wears hers that says ‘Vagitarian.”
Lan WangJi blinked a couple times at him, and Wei WuXian thoroughly expected to have the shit judged out of him. However, once again, his boyfriend thoroughly surprised him by saying, “XiChen got me something similar years ago. A shirt that says, ‘be gay, do crimes.' I wear it to family gatherings. Uncle hates it.”
Wei WuXian just about died laughing hearing that, wheezing. He couldn’t believe he was hearing this: upstanding Lan WangJi who always strove to be polite a gentleman, who adhered so strictly to tradition, going out of his way to piss off his relatives. And his brother being in on the whole thing, it was too much. He patted his shoulder, practically bent over double. Lan WangJi watched him with a smile, his forehead still yellow with matching mirth.
“Oh my god, yes,” he gasped, finally standing up after a moment. “I bought Jiang Cheng a shirt that says ‘don’t fuck around and find out.’ I think he still has it. But now all I’m hearing is we need to plan a day where we all wear our beacons of non-straightness and hit Lanling Jin. Give Jin Guangshan a stroke.”
“Mn. All I’m hearing is a good idea.”
Wei WuXian’s wheezing kicked back into high gear again, and once more he was rendered useless by it.
When he recovered after another minute or two, Lan WangJi found himself asking, “Why do you have so many signs in English?”
That question definitely gave Wei WuXian pause. He stood up straight, sobering up quickly, clearing his throat. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, avoiding the other man’s eyes, choosing to stare at the signs instead. His skin seemed paler somehow, frosted in all the different colors. It was like being in a silent club, the only sound being the cars roaring outside. The doctor rubbed the back of his head, smiling uneasily as he admitted, “Eh, it’s embarrassing. When I was younger, I really wanted to move away from here. Like, pack up all my shit and get as far away from this place as I could. I couldn’t stand my family, couldn’t stand the people around me. I was determined to go to college in another country. So, I started learning English with this crazy zeal. Taught myself, had friends online who helped too. I got pretty good at it. But then, well, Jie had Jin Ling, so I had to stay. But I still rebelled in other ways. When I came out, I bought these and hung them all over my room. My parents didn’t know what they said of course, so it just made it funnier. Jiang Cheng and I had a good laugh about them. And…I couldn’t find it in myself to get rid of them."
He reached up and tapped at one of his earlobes, looking at Lan WangJi. His smile was a little easier now as he added, “That’s why I got these too. I saw lots of queer guys on Twitter that had their ears pierced, and I thought it looked cool. Plus, my parents absolutely hated guys with pierced ears, said they didn’t respect themselves and had low self-esteem, that they were trying to be girls, all that shit. So the second I turned eighteen I was fucking off to the nearest piercing parlor. I actually planned on getting more, but eh I’ve been so busy, and my job doesn’t allow us to wear earrings, so…”
He shrugged awkwardly as he finished. It was strange telling that story; only his family knew the full situation, but he figured at this stage, Lan WangJi was privy to it too. The other man’s forehead turned a few different colors, mostly light green as he soaked in what he said. Lan WangJi meanwhile was turning over and over the thought of a young, angry Wei WuXian trying to express himself and being shot down by his family for doing so. It made his chest feel heavy, and he suddenly impossibly wished that they could have known each other back then. After all, he too was angry at his own set of circumstances. Though his uncle wasn’t as openly hostile, he did tend to be passive aggressive about the fact that he wasn’t going to get any “biological” great nieces or nephews, or that some of their extended family were on his case about how he must have made a mistake in raising him and his brother. Perhaps if he and Wei WuXian had known each other when they were kids, they could have helped each other.
Instead, all he could say was, “Being angry at everything is part of being young.”
Thankfully, those words of validation seemed to help, putting a true smile back on the other man’s face. Wei WuXian sighed heavily, swinging his hands at his sides, before saying after an awkward pause, “Ugh I’m sorry, I’m such a terrible host. I feel like I should offer you tea or something. But I mean, I can’t technically and....”
He trailed off, and again, a strange silence settled between them, as if even after all this time, he was afraid of offending Lan WangJi somehow. The other man sighed fondly, placing a hand on his shoulder and leaning in close, so close that his lips almost brushed against his ear before he said lowly, “It’s alright. I had a different meal in mind anyway.”
Wei WuXian pulled away from him and slapped his shoulder teasingly, telling him loudly, “You are awful! But hey, funny you should mention that, I actually have a surprise for you. Well, for me, but for you to use on me.”
The speed at which Lan WangJi’s eyes widened and his forehead lit up fuchsia was comical, nearly making the other man lose it all over again. Instead, he contained his excitement to a huge grin, grabbing Lan WangJi by the hand and practically bounding to his room. On their way there, Wei WuXian grabbed a bag he had brought home from work, before the two of them arrived and he shut the door behind them. He turned on a light, before he reached into the bag, digging around in it for a moment before he pulled out not one but two new attachments with a cheery, “Tah-dah!”
Lan WangJi very nearly fell backwards in shock, unable to believe what he was looking at. The shit eating grin on his partner’s face in contrast with the two dicks framing said grin was just too much for him to take in. Where did this man even come from? Then, it dawned on him that sneaking new Lanling Jin tech out of the building was probably very illegal, and yet here Wei WuXian was, not giving a shit about something so trivial. God, all the stories Lan WangJi had heard growing up were right: people did stupid things when they were horny. Maybe his dick wasn’t the only one that needed to be rewired. He’d corrupted his poor boyfriend.
Wei WuXian handed both of them to him, explaining as he pointed to each one, “See, that one is like a prostate massager, and this one is more ribbed. And yes, I did make Mingjue age fifty years by asking him to give me the parts for these. Totally worth it.”
Soon, questions about legalities were the furthest thing from Lan WangJi’s mind when, with a teasing giggle, the other man began pulling his clothes off, tossing them in his laundry basket in the corner before sashaying over to the bed and plopping himself on top of it. He folded his legs in front of him, looking far too innocent given the current circumstances. However, it was more than enough encouragement for Lan WangJi, who put the attachments on the bed next to him before pulling off his clothes as well. Wei WuXian snorted at his eagerness, and he could have sworn he heard him clapping in victory. When he wriggled free of his clothes, Lan WangJi joined him on the bed, unsure of where he should be looking. At Wei WuXian? At his gift? What was the appropriate protocol here?
Wei WuXian leaned in, telling him suggestively with heavy lidded eyes, “I’ve thought about us christening my bed a whole lot lately. I hope you’re okay with that?”
Like Lan WangJi was going to be stupid enough to say no. “Very okay.”
He took a deep breath, hearing his own eagerness in his voice and trying to regain control of himself. He tore his eyes away from Wei WuXian and instead picked up the attachments, looking between one and the other, trying very hard to concentrate on studying them like Wei WuXian most likely expected him to be doing. However, it was horrendously difficult to keep his eyes off his boyfriend, who was laid out for him like a buffet, and so all he could do was stare at him like a fool, a dick in each hand, his forehead blaring his horniness for the world to see. Noticing this, Wei WuXian turned more towards him, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head smugly, asking, “So, what’s gonna be tonight’s weapon of choice?”
But of course, Lan WangJi wasn’t looking at his face, caught in some kind of trance. Wei WuXian snapped his fingers in front of him, saying, “Eyes up here,” causing the other man to snap out of it.
Lan WangJi sucked in a breath. Right, of course. He had a task at hand. He shook himself and, trying to buy himself time- because there was exactly zero blood flowing to his brain at the moment- he instead asked, “Which one would Wei Ying like to try?”
“Hmmm…” Wei WuXian hummed, tapping his knee as he mulled it over. After a moment, he decided, “Well, I haven’t used a prostate massager in a long time, but I remember liking them. Let’s give that a shot.”
Lan WangJi nodded, put on his attachment, and pulled his giggling partner down onto the bed with him. And he would say judging by how loud he was later on, how hard he arched his back and pulled at the sheets, Wei WuXian still liked them as much as he remembered.
Notes:
Btw all those shirts are available on etsy xDD Joshua gave me the don't fuck around and find out shirt idea and he says he'd love to draw all of them in these shirts sometime when he has time, which I think is brilliant of him xD But I put way too much thought into WWX's explanation as to why he bought those signs, idk I hold it near and dear to my heart for no reason xD Queer kid rebellion for the win.
Joshua says: " I think this specific chapter is in my top 5 , there's just something very sweet, domestic and endearing about it! Also the flirty teasing is chef kiss just wonderful! Hope everyone enjoys the chapter and please leave reviews if you did!"
Chapter 26: Tears of Joy For All the Praise
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Some people went on drug benders, but Wei WuXian went on invention benders. He would work along slow and steady for a while, before all of a sudden being struck by a sudden bout of inspiration and working for three days straight without sleep with a terrifying zeal no one dared to pull him out of, not even Lan WangJi. He tried once, and was met with wide, possessed, bloodshot eyes that scared him enough that he just decided to leave him alone to his fate. He loved him, but he also loved having his head attached to his shoulders.
He also certainly didn’t mind that all the inventions Wei WuXian was churning out were new upgrades for him, namely, things he’d been working on for months, but now all of a sudden he seemed to have reached enlightenment on how to make them work. Though Wei WuXian wasn’t really speaking to him as he worked, Lan WangJi did manage to get out of him that he was inspired by all the intimacy they were sharing for…whatever reason. Lan WangJi had no idea that the sex they’d been having was that good, but he wasn’t going to question things.
Shockingly, his first upgrade wasn’t sex based, and he wasn’t told about it in the privacy of Wei WuXian’s lab. Instead, one day during work, as Lan WangJi was steadily doing research for an upcoming library program, Wei WuXian burst into the library, hair askew, goggles glowing bright red, and his grin more feral than the other man had ever seen it. If the slamming of the door against the wall didn’t alert the entire staff of his arrival, then Wei WuXian’s booming, ecstatic voice certainly did.
Looking right at Lan WangJi, he yelled, “I DID IT, I GOT THEM ALL DONE! HALF A YEAR AND I HAVE LACRIMAL GLANDS THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU CRY LIKE A CONTESTANT ON THE BACHELOR, COME ON LET’S GO SHOVE THESE BABIES IN YOUR EYES.”
He strode purposefully over to him and grabbed him by the wrist before pulling him out of his chair. Lan WangJi had no choice but to let himself be dragged along, looking around, noticing that all of his coworkers were either staring, snickering, or giving him a thumbs up. They were well used to Wei WuXian’s behavior, so they made no moves to stop them either. Lan WangJi sighed in acceptance.
Once they were through the doors in the library, he asked, “And how many Red Bulls have you had?”
“ENOUGH SO THAT I CAN SEE EVERY MOLECULE OF THE FLOOR AND WHEN I PEED THIS MORNING I’M SURE MOST OF IT WAS BLOOD.”
Lan WangJi was just thankful that there were going to be other people on the surgical team.
And so, one surgery later, he now had the ability to cry. However, the downside was that they wouldn’t know for a very long time whether or not it was truly successful because it took a lot to make Lan WangJi cry, and even if Wei WuXian asked him to cry on command, he still wouldn’t be able to do it. Besides, Lan WangJi himself wasn’t sure what his triggers for crying were.
When Wei WuXian expressed his concerns to Lan XiChen about this, the other man just laughed and assured him, “WangJi has always been like this. Even when he was a child, he didn’t cry much. I guess it’ll be a waiting game for you both. Let me know what his triggers are when you find them so I know what kinds of movies I’ll have to watch with him. I’ve always wanted to see what he looks like when he cries.”
Wei WuXian couldn’t help but snort in response because he completely understood. Jiang Cheng had only cried a handful of times in his life, so when Wei WuXian witnessed it, he felt like he was looking at a unicorn.
Shortly after installing the lacrimal glands, he presented something else to Lan WangJi, thankfully this time in the lab. It looked like an asshole that had been cut from someone’s body with laser position, which made it all the more surreal when Wei WuXian held it up all proudly and declared with a huge smile, “Ta-dah! I made you your very own bussy!”
Lan WangJi blinked, his expression perfectly flat. “What.”
Wei WuXian flipped it so that it sat upright and stretched it apart slightly. In a way, it also resembled a fleshlight insert, though it looked a lot softer and more natural. Lan WangJi nodded, impressed. “Ah, I see.”
“Yeah, all it’s going to need is some adjustment so it fits,” Wei WuXian said brightly. “And we’re going to have to carve out a space for it in your ass. This baby is made up completely of little nerve pads that we can adjust the sensitivity to. I already can’t wait to test this out.”
Neither could Lan WangJi, but for now, he kept those thoughts to himself. Instead, he asked out loud, “So what did Nie Mingjue have to say about this?”
The doctor’s grin only grew wider, more disconcerting. “Nothing. He just handed me the silicon and begged me not to share anymore details with him.”
“…So that’s why XiChen is telling me that they’re spending more of their nights than usual getting drunk.”
Wei WuXian placed his new invention down on his work bench. “Wait, your brother drinks?”
Lan WangJi shrugged. “It’s a new development. Nie Mingjue texted me the other night asking, ‘Are you aware that your brother only gets drunk after one cup?’ I’m surprised he lets him.”
“Why?”
“Our family doesn’t drink as a rule because according to those around us, we’re terrible drunks.”
“Oh God what do you mean?” Wei WuXian asked eagerly.
“Well,” Lan WangJi explained, “my uncle gets grouchier than usual and can’t walk in a straight line to save his life. My father used to get really loud and tended to try and fight anyone that breathed in his direction. XiChen gets ridiculously excited over everything no matter how small it is, and in one instance I remember him getting on the roof and saying he was going to bring me the moon.”
“Oh dear lord,” Wei WuXian wheezed, his shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. “Dare I ask what you’re like?”
“Honest drunk,” Lan WangJi told him, his forehead turning dark green. He averted his eyes, much to Wei WuXian’s delight. “And possessive. My brother couldn’t get my rabbit plushie away from me for anything one time. Another time I suddenly felt the need to confess every sin I ever committed when I was a kid. Lan XiChen spent an hour trying to convince me that forgetting to do my homework that one time and scrambling to do it before homeroom did not in fact make me an irredeemable sinner.”
“My God, Wei WuXian laughed, doubling over and slapping his hand on his thigh in mirth. When he stood up straight again, tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. “I need to figure out how I can get you drunk sometime. I have to see this for myself.”
His boyfriend rolled his eyes. “Alright. Just be prepared for me to keep you in my lap all night.”
Wei WuXian just laughed even harder. “I can certainly think of worse ways to spend an evening!”
The day to test out Lan WangJi’s newest upgrade couldn’t come fast enough for him, and he may or may not have been waiting with the eagerness of a puppy as it watched its owner get out its leash for it in preparation for a walk. It was difficult to sit still as Wei WuXian kneeled behind him, humming to himself as he finished attaching it. With one final click, he stood up, wiping his brow and sliding his goggles back on top of his head, declaring, “And done!”
“Yeah?” Lan WangJi asked, looking over his shoulder.
“Yup!” Wei WuXian moved past him and began putting all of his tools away, explaining, “Now remember, this is going to be interesting for sure, because this thing is kinda like your dick. It has no real purpose outside of the bedroom, and it's just there to make you feel more..."
“Normal?” he supplied helpfully.
"Yes, exactly. I mean, I know there’s only so much I can do in this area, since I can’t make it so that you can use this to shit, at least not yet. I’m still working on a digestive system though, I promise! But hey, I could see us marketing these to people with bodies like yours in the future."
Lan WangJi watched him finish taking off his lab coat and gloves, laying both on his work bench like a slob, before glancing up at his radio clock. His forehead was flickering all sorts of colors he was glad the other man couldn’t see Wei WuXian mumbled to himself, “Huh, that time already? The day sure flew by fast.”
“Wei Ying, are you hungry?” his boyfriend asked.
“I…not really? I had a late lunch, I’m okay. Why, do you”-
That was all he got out before Lan WangJi gripped his waist and turned him around, before pressing their lips together in a deep kiss. Wei WuXian went, “Mmph!” in surprise, his hands flying up as he fought to maintain his balance, his eyes going wide. Then, he registered what was happening and began laughing against Lan WangJi’s lips, kissing him back.
When they finally pulled back, Wei WuXian placed his hands on his chest and said, “What, you want to test it now?”
Lan WangJi leaned in, placing kisses down his neck, causing Wei WuXian to sigh, tilting his head to allow him better access. Between kisses, he said, somewhat petulantly, “You said it’s five.”
For whatever reason, this made Wei WuXian laugh all over again. “Yes I did, didn’t I?”
His partner began nibbling on his skin. “Do you not want to?”
"I do! I'm just surprised by how eager you are. You've gotten so bold. Are you going to give me the overbearing Lan WangJi I was promised?"
His tone made Lan WangJi pull away and look him in the face. When he did, he saw that Wei WuXian was grinning daringly. He trailed a finger down Lan WangJi’s cheek, neck and chest, casually playing with the buttons on his shirt there, unbuttoning the topmost one halfway and then buttoning again. His eyes were narrowed and heavy lidded and he was chuckling low in his throat, leaning closer and closer towards his partner’s face.
Now this was certainly new; Wei WuXian was getting bolder. He was learning slowly but surely that he didn’t have to be a sex god for Lan WangJi to desire him, or be anything but himself. And that included being a teasing gremlin beast. He should find it irritating beyond belief, but instead, Lan WangJi loved it.
And that teasing, coupled with that very Wei WuXian style grin was enough to get Lan WangJi hot all over, hot enough to drag him in for more eager kisses.
Wei WuXian laughed through the whole ordeal, delighted by Lan WangJi’s eagerness. He held the back of his head as his partner kissed him and kissed him, pecking every inch of bare skin he could reach, his whole body vibrating with excitement. How long had he been waiting for this, Wei WuXian wondered? He knew Lan WangJi enjoyed sex with him, but perhaps he had secretly been wanting them to have sex like this all along?
The very idea was ludicrous, and yet it punched the breath out of Wei WuXian.
Soon after that, his partner dragged him into his room and locked the door, barely taking the time to turn on the lamp before he began fumbling, trying to strip both himself and Wei WuXian with shaking hands. Again, Wei WuXian laughed and said, “Easy you, I’m a big boy, I can take off my own clothes.”
After that, the process went smoothly, and Lan WangJi didn’t hesitate to once again pull Wei WuXian in for a kiss, this time dragging him forward by his rear, squishing it playfully. Wei WuXian snorted against his lips. “Your fascination with my ass will never stop being cute. Seriously, it’s just a bit of muscle and some squish, it’s nothing special.”
“Is so,” Lan WangJi mumbled against his lips.
“Does that mean I’m never going to go without bite marks on it again?”
“Mn.”
He gave Wei WuXian’s butt some playful pats, before walking into him, pushing him gently back towards the bed. When the back of his knees touched it, Lan WangJi whispered, “On your back.”
Wei WuXian obeyed, sinking down onto the bed and laying back on the pillows, saying, “Ooh, are you going to ride me?”
Lan WangJi walked over to his jar of boba bubbles sitting on his night stand and fished one out, answering, “Maybe, but not yet.”
Wei WuXian watched as he popped one in his mouth and let it settle, before crawling onto the bed. He kneeled between Wei WuXian’s legs, carefully pushing them apart and scooting forward, saying, "You've taken care of me so much. But I've never done the same to you. Not in this way.”
When it dawned on him, Wei WuXian’s eyes widened and he softly said, “Oh. Oh Lan Zhan, don't feel like you"-
“I know,” he assured him, leaning over his lap so that his long hair fell over his shoulder and tickled Wei WuXian’s thighs. Slowly, gently, he began kneading his thighs, skimming his hands over the corded muscle, before reaching his goal and taking his partner in hand. “I want to.”
Wei WuXian stared at him intently, his breath slowly leaking out of his chest in a quiet, nearly imperceptible rush. His dark eyes reflected the gold light of the lamp. After a moment, he finally said, "Well, alright then. I mean, I'm certainly not going to turn you away.” Then, he lowered his voice, and admitted, “I've gotten off to the thought of you blowing me more than a few times."
He trailed off, as if he felt what he was saying was too dirty or embarrassing, and he couldn’t believe he’d just said such a thing out loud. He bit his lip, worried about how Lan WangJi would react. Would he think he was a pervert, imagining using his partner like that for his own gratification? He didn’t dare admit that those fantasies usually involved Lan WangJi moaning around his cock as if he were the one being sucked off and squirming in pure delight. His face already felt so hot he thought it would burst into flames.
However, when he dared to glance up at him, not only was Lan WangJi’s forehead blaring bright fuchsia, but he had gone stock still, a soft breath wheezing its way out of him. His pupils were blown wide, and he was staring at Wei WuXian the way he had when the scientist had sat between his knees when they had first tested out his new dick, like he wanted to swallow him whole.
He would pay all the money in the world for Lan WangJi to look at him like that all the time.
Unable to believe his silly, dirty fantasies actually somehow turned his partner on, he hoarsely said, “Alright well, you can um, go ahead if you want.”
Wei WuXian felt like he shouldn’t have been as aroused as he was by the sight of Lan WangJi’s tongue flicking out to lick at his lips, all the while keeping his eyes on Wei WuXian’s cock. Slowly, he bent over, before taking it in his mouth, his cool, silky hair tickling Wei WuXian’s lap, only adding extra stimulation. The doctor sucked in a breath through his nose, the sensation catching him off guard. He was completely unprepared for how good it would feel, and because he suddenly felt very out of control, he did what he did best: word vomited. He just started going on and on about his day since he hadn’t had a chance to relay it to Lan WangJi today yet, and hey, they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon, right?
"And it's crazy the symptoms they ended up getting,” he babbled, clenching his hands in the sheets and staring resolutely at the ceiling, because if he dared to look down at his partner, he knew he’d lose it completely. "Lots of burning, itching, oozing, and that's not a place that you want oozing pus and stuff, not cool at all. But I mean if we didn't do these tests, we wouldn't be able to help people as much. Still, I feel bad for the mice, do you think we should start a program to free them from the lab? Maybe we could"-
Lan WangJi pulled off him and stared at him flatly, sighing, "Wei Ying, as much as I love hearing you talk about work, this is not the time for you to be telling me what happens to the lab mice when you give them syphilis."
Wei WuXian smacked himself in the forehead. He hadn’t even realized…only he’d be stupid enough to talk about syphilis when his partner had his dick in his mouth. He suddenly wanted to crawl under the blankets and cocoon himself into a blanket burrito of shame while telling Lan WangJi to forget it, he deserved someone less stupid to have sex with.
But of course, Lan WangJi, the saint that he was, didn’t get angry with him. He just started massaging his thighs soothingly and said, “Relax. It’s just me. I just want to make you feel good. You deserve it.”
Wei WuXian sighed, long and heavy, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Right, sorry. I don’t know why I get like this, like the minute I start feeling good, I feel like I’m being a pervert and I need to cover that up.”
Lan WangJi’s eyebrows raised while the rest of his expression remained hilariously stoic. “Is there any other situation where being a pervert is more acceptable?”
The doctor snorted, and let his arms flop at his sides as he finally relented, “You’re right, as usual. Alright, I’m okay now. I promise I’ll get more comfortable with being as perverted as you want me to be.”
Lan WangJi rolled his eyes. Nevertheless, he continued, dipping his head and picking up where he left off. And this time, Wei WuXian kept his mouth shut, closed his eyes and willed his mind to go blank.
Thankfully, after a minute or two, he was able to relax, and he gave himself a mental pat on the back. Closing his eyes and forcing his breathing to slow down helped center him, forced his thoughts to stop spinning and to focus on what was happening here and now. It was okay, he told himself. Lan WangJi didn’t mind if he enjoyed himself. Someday, he would figure this out and would stop being so embarrassed every time he felt a zing of pleasure.
When the adrenaline stopped flowing so hard and he swallowed down the word vomit that was trying to fight its way out of his mouth, he finally dared to open his eyes. And once he registered what he was looking at, he couldn’t quite stop a breathless, “Oh God,” from escaping him. For he didn’t think he’d ever be able to close his eyes again without seeing Lan WangJi with all of his hair pulled over one shoulder, his shoulder blades pushing up against his back, his dark head bobbing steadily, his lips stretched over his length while he stroked the base. At the sound of Wei WuXian’s exhalation, his eyes flicked up to meet his partner’s.
Wei WuXian felt as if he’d been punched in the gut; those eyes held his gaze steadily, glittering with intensity, never wavering. It was as if they were saying, Keep looking at me. Keep wanting me. See what I’m doing to you? See how easily I can take you apart? He let out a whimper and allowed his head to tilt back, a grimace forming on his lips the same instant he squeezed his eyes shut. He gripped the sheets tightly in his fists and felt his thighs twitch.
"You look really good, Lan Zhan,” he whispered frantically. “Better than my fantasies for sure. And you feel"-
Again, he was cut off by a sweet, nasal whine that parted his lips and made his whole body tighten as Lan WangJi grew more enthusiastic, driven by his words of praise no doubt. After that, no intelligent words left Wei WuXian. He began a steady stream of swearing interspersed with guttural groans low in his throat. When he dared to look down at Lan WangJi again, he could see that the other man’s hand was frantically stripping at his own erection, and he was moaning softly. The vibrations were exquisite, travelling right up into Wei WuXian’s hips. He squirmed in delight, letting go of the sheets in favor of gripping at his own hair, tugging at the long strands.
“Good boy Lan Zhan, you’re so fucking good, oh my God,” he whispered rapidly, “So good, so good. Ah~! Shit, oh shit, I can’t, Lan Zhan- fuck, oh goddammit- I’m gonna, hold on, I’m”-
And with that, just as the heat began to pool and coil tightly in his groin and his head began to feel light, Lan WangJi pulled off of him.
Wei WuXian cried out in dismay, and before he was even fully aware of it, he was sitting up, his hair sticking up in every direction. He was glaring at Lan WangJi, about to give him an earful, because how dare he stop when Wei WuXian was that close? However, his glare vanished and any words of rebuke died in his throat when he registered the sight that met his eyes. For Lan WangJi had moved from between his legs to the edge of the bed. He was now on his hands and knees, his upper body lowered and his rear high in the air, as if he was trying to appease him. He was looking over his shoulder at him, his forehead still bright fuchsia, his eyes heavy lidded, lips parted and wet. Even his chin was shining with dampness.
“Wei Ying,” he whispered, his voice husky and low. He lifted his hips higher, more enticingly. He looked…desperate. More so than Wei WuXian had ever seen him. Had he really wanted him to fuck him this badly all this time? The thought was a heady one, and it made Wei WuXian shaky with want.
He nearly tripped over himself scrambling to his knees, so much so that Lan WangJi couldn’t help but huff with laughter. However, he wasn’t laughing after Wei WuXian lubed himself up and then positioned himself behind Lan WangJi, before slipping easily into his partner. In fact, the instant Wei WuXian gripped his hips and began moving, he shouted, causing Wei WuXian to halt immediately.
“Holy shit, are you okay?” he asked, leaning forward, trying to look at the other man’s face. “Did I hurt you? Shit, sorry. I might have made your sensors a bit too sensitive to stimulation. If you want, I can turn it down”-
He started to pull out, but to his shock, Lan WangJi’s hand flashed out and grabbed his wrist, firmly holding it in its place against his hip. His eyes were narrowed, and were almost glowing in the low light. His breathing was heavy, but his forehead hadn’t changed colors at all. It was bright fuchsia. His partner growled, “Don’t you dare,” and oh shit that shouldn’t have made heat throb through Wei WuXian as hard as it did.
The scientist swallowed audibly, his throat bobbing with the motion, and he stared down at Lan WangJi for several moments, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, couldn’t believe that the other man in fact enjoyed the high level of sensitivity and wanted him to keep going. Finally, he nodded slowly, and stammered, “A-Alright. If that’s what you want. Just let me know if it gets to be too much.”
Lan WangJi didn’t respond; he just kept panting, his heavy, trembling breaths the loudest thing in the silent room. And so, Wei WuXian continued where he left off, moving his hips slowly at first, allowing both of them to become acclimated to the new sensation, before Lan WangJi’s groans encouraged him to pick up the pace.
However, Wei WuXian was hardly paying attention to his own pleasure. He was far more interested in watching his partner, how the vibrations travelled up his body every time his hips smacked into his rear, how his upper body was pushed up and down, and how Lan WangJi’s eyes gradually closed from pleasure. He pillowed his head on his arms, his hair spilling over them, several strands falling in front of his face. Wei WuXian couldn’t help but reach down and push some of them out of his face, and his chest warmed when Lan WangJi nuzzled against his hand, before kissing his palm.
The faster he moved though, the more Lan WangJi’s moans increased in volume, so much so that Wei WuXian couldn’t help but laugh, “Gods above, you are loud. Louder than I usually am! I did a good job, didn’t I? You feel really good, Lan Zhan. So, so fucking good oh my God…wait shit, my knees, can we change positions? Like, can we spoon or something?”
Lan WangJi nodded against the mattress, and the two of them shifted around until he was laying on his side with Wei WuXian behind him. Now, his partner was much more enthusiastic, thrusting into him hard, throwing caution to the wind. He felt Wei WuXian’s hands skim his thighs until he was gently pulling them apart, causing Lan WangJi to gasp with delight. He half heartedly tried to close his legs, but his partner’s grip was very firm. Oh, how wonderful. Realistically, he knew if he wanted to, he could always force it and Wei WuXian would let go, but he liked the illusion of being unable to close his legs, of being forced to show his partner’s greedy eyes everything. It was delicious. He arched his back and let his head tip to the side. Wei WuXian took the opportunity to press his face into the crook of his neck, nibbling at his artificial muscles and licking his way up towards his ear, nosing his way past his heavy curtain of hair.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei WuXian gasped. “You’re so- so”-
“You too,” Lan WangJi panted.
He didn’t know how much more he could take. It wasn’t even just because of the physical stimulation that he was moaning so loudly it echoed in the room around them. He just loved how he couldn’t get away from his partner, that all of his senses were being filled with him. He felt pliant, forced to take everything Wei WuXian had to give, forced to feel his strength at every point their bodies connected. His thrusts were sharp and precise, his midsection contracting tightly against his back, his hands squeezing under his knees. Lan WangJi had been carved open, completely vulnerable, and it was such a relief that he could cry.
By now, their breathing was almost painful, shredding their throats and burning their lungs. Lan WangJi babbled praise a mile a minute, telling the other man how lucky he was to have him, how amazing Wei WuXian was and, “I love you, Wei Ying. I love you so much that it hurts, and I can’t…it’s like I’m drowning, I could burst, it’s too much.”
And oddly enough it was being told he was loved that did it for Wei WuXian. He finished with a harsh groan, burying his face in the back of Lan WangJi’s shoulder, while at the same time, Lan WangJi frantically jerked himself off until warm fluid spilled over his hands.
He felt Wei WuXian go boneless, panting hard against him, all but dropping his leg. It took all of Lan WangJi’s strength to roll over to face him, and when he did, Wei WuXian held his head firmly against his chest, hiding his face in his hair. They stroked each other’s bodies absently, trying to soothe the aftershocks and tremors that ran through them.
And again, Lan WangJi kept murmuring, “I love you, I love you,” over and over again. It was an exact role reversal of the first time they had made love, and Wei WuXian couldn’t help it. Overwhelmed, tears pricked at his eyes, and his chest hitched with sobs. It was too much hearing his own words being reflected back at him.
He had gone his whole life thinking no one would ever love him the way he wanted to be loved, and now he had such a person in the flesh right here in his arms. It was a miracle beyond imagining, for he thought it would have been easier to hop up into the night sky and lasso the moon. But even more incredibly he discovered he was worthy in Lan WangJi’s eyes, and he couldn’t believe he was only now seeing it.
Notes:
I realized I never showed this older art in a previous chapter and I feel like it fits very nicely here! Look how cute, gah :'D Also I feel like it's important to mention that during the entire smut scene I kept listening to Ashley Serena's cover of My Jolly Sailor Bold, idk, LWJ giving off siren vibes here ehehe. But we both hope you like our loud, enthusiastic bottom LWJ :D Also thank you Joshua for the chapter title!
Joshua says: "This chapter is so incredibly self-indulgent that I nearly named it " indulgence" but refrained at the last minute. I hope everyone who enjoy Bottomji enjoyed this chapter! We sure did! Also far too much research has been put into what option would be best for a plug in butthole...... My search history well make a couple FBI agent's eyebrows raise."
Chapter 27: I Want You
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Wei-Yisheng, I’m in serious trouble.”
Wei WuXian, who was taking a rare minute out of his day to sprawl on the couch, hands folded behind his head, opened his eyes and looked up at Lan Sizhui, who was standing at the end of said couch. He replied dubiously, “Impossible, your name and trouble don’t belong in the same sentence, they repel each other like magnets.”
“I’m serious!” the boy groaned, wringing his hands.
Hearing the genuine worry in Lan Sizhui’s voice, he sat up with a sigh and leaned back against the couch, throwing an arm over the back of it. “Alright, alright. Here, come tell me all about it.”
He expected him to sit down next to him, but instead, Lan Sizhui opted to start pacing in front of him, pulling the end of his ponytail over his shoulder and playing with it as he explained, “Our final project for the internship is coming up.”
“Ah yes, the thing that proves that you’ve been paying attention and haven’t been just sitting around with your thumb up your ass all summer,” Wei WuXian said sagely.
“And I mean, I have an idea for what to do, but it’s stupid,” Lan Sizhui babbled. “I’ve tried coming up with other ones, but none of them inspire me like that one, but I can’t use that one because it’s dumb and no one will take it seriously! I need to present something groundbreaking and grand or I’ll be a laughingstock before I even begin university, oh God Wei-Yisheng I’m going to cry, what if this is what my whole career will be like!?”
Wei WuXian’s brows drew upward in concern, before he got up and stood in his way, stopping him from pacing. He then pulled him into a hug, saying, “Hey, hey, hey it’s okay! Chill, no stressing allowed!”
The boy kept squirming, making little distressed sounds, which only made Wei WuXian hold him tighter. “Oh Sizhui, hey, look at me, come on.”
Lan Sizhui did so, slowly raising his eyes, and Wei WuXian felt his chest ache when he saw that they were shining with the threat of tears. The doctor patted him on the shoulders and assured him, “I don’t know if you noticed, but my shelves are full of robotic dicks at the moment. Ideas that seem stupid are the backbone of scientific advancement. Now, lay it on me. I promise whatever your idea is, I can name you one that I’ve had that was ten times stupider.”
The boy bit his lip, taking several deep breaths as he wrestled his emotions back under control, taking comfort from the grounding touch. It was warm and gentle, reminding him very much of his dad. Once he felt the panic subside, he backed up and stood up straighter. He then sighed nervously, clenched his fists, and then finally blurted out, “I have an old Furby that hasn’t worked in years! Um, I was thinking of bringing it back to life and…I keep seeing people that make long Furbies on Weibo and I…I really want to turn it into one of those!”
He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable laughter. After a few beats of silence, and opened them and he was stunned to see that Wei WuXian was not in fact biting his lip fighting to keep from laughing, but instead was wearing this starry-eyed look of wonder, and almost immediately, his eyes filled with tears. He covered his mouth with his hands and yanked Lan Sizhui back into a bone crushing hug, smushing his head against his chest, wailing, “You are my protégé! Oh my god, I’m so proud of you, that is brilliant! My legacy of creating amazing but terrifying things will carry on!”
Lan Sizhui’s cheek was squished against him, and his arms windmilled for a moment as he fought to regain his balance. After he did so, he said in a muffled voice, “Really? You don’t think it’s stupid?”
“WHAT THE HELL NO THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF STUPID!?” Wei WuXian burst out, pulling the boy away from his chest so quickly it nearly gave him whiplash. “Oh Sizhui! I’m so proud of you! Here, I’ll let you in on a secret.” He leaned in close, all conspiratorially, Lan Sizhui’s eyes wide with excitement as he drank in every word. “Weird shit like this is what’s going to help you make it far in this field. Absolutely, you should do it.”
Lan Sizhui lit right up, easily outshining the sun. However, he sobered up a second later, and cast his eyes towards the ground, rubbing one of his forearms and asking meekly, “Um, if I do this, do you think you could help me? I mean, I could do it by myself, but it might take a while, and I’d like your advice”-
Wei WuXian gasped, teared up even more, and replied in a watery voice, “I-I would be honored if you let me help.”
“You sure that’s not cheating?”
“Oh please,” Wei WuXian waved him off. “You’ll be the one calling all the shots, and honestly, any time you work on a big project as a scientist, you usually have a whole team behind you. The idea of ‘you have to complete this project without help’ is rubbish and unrealistic. Whatever you need, you got it.”
And that was how Lan Sizhui took over Wei WuXian’s lab space, by Wei WuXian’s insistence of course, tools spread all over while his Furby sat square in the middle of the floor, its dead-eyed, shiny stare fixed on them, one eyelid half shut only adding to its unsettling appearance. But the two of them were too focused on their plans for it to bother them, pacing around the Furby in circles, Lan Sizhui tossing out ideas while Wei WuXian made notes on a clipboard.
“I want it to have robotic, working arms,” he said, gesturing vaguely, as if the constant movement would help bring more blood to his brain. “Maybe we could give it a posable spine? And a working tail? Ooh, maybe we could give it a tail like a dragon. I know lots of them have feet at the end, but I like the idea of a tail, like maybe we could make it so that it can wag. I want to get the eyes blinking too, and ooooh maybe I can make it so its forehead lights up too…”
“Mmm, yes, I like it,” Wei WuXian mumbled, his pen scratching frantically. “And maybe we could replace its voice box too, I have a whole drawer of them. You’ll have to figure out what kind of voice you want it to have though…”
“Oh! Yes, I actually drew up some rough plans for that while I was eating breakfast this morning, here, let me show you…”
It took everything in the doctor not to crack a smile at his enthusiasm, for all he could think was that he was looking into a mirror, and he was so happy that mirror was the son of the man he loved.
Over the next few days, they both bled and sweated over this mad creation, slowly giving it shape. And of course, during the entire process, in between listening to Lan Sizhui’s instructions, Wei WuXian talked a mile a minute. It was nice to have this opportunity to bond with the boy, and as such, he couldn’t help but share all sorts of stories from when he was his age. For example, he babbled, “I haven’t had this much fun since high school when I’d rig my sister’s busted dolls so that they’d move their heads or start talking remotely. Oh God the number of times I’d scare the shit out of my siblings, it was incredible.”
Lan Sizhui threw back his head, dying with laughter. “Wei-Yisheng, you’re awful.”
“Well, what else was I supposed to do? If I don’t torment my siblings, who will?”
On one of those days, when their Furby creation was more than halfway finished, they were working on the arms, both of them with their goggles down over their eyes. And it was a good thing too, because out of nowhere, the arms twitched as the mechanical nerves misfired, causing Lan Sizhui to shriek and leap out of his skin. Wei WuXian, who was more used to this sort of thing happening but remembered feeling that same rush of fear at his age, laughed so loudly it practically shook the walls.
That was when Lan WangJi walked in, hearing the commotion from a couple rooms down. However, he paused at the entrance to the lab when he heard Wei WuXian laughing and Lan Sizhui playfully scolding him, before he knocked on the door and asked, “Wei Ying, what was that noise?”
Once he walked inside, they both stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him in unison. At that moment, they both realize that they never told Lan WangJi about this whole project.
Oops.
There was a moment where all they did was stare at him, one party afraid to ask any questions and the others afraid to answer them. Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up red, cursed energy radiating from this Furby, who stared at him as well. He scrunched up his nose in disgust and the only thought that entered his head was a horrified, Oh sweet gods no, I thought we got rid of that thing years ago.
Lan Sizhui was the one to break the silence, saying tentatively, “Uh…this is actually good timing. While you’re here, do you think you could help us screw in one of the super tiny screws? My hands keep shaking every time I try.”
He didn’t answer; he just kept staring at the Furby, like if he glared hard enough at it, it would submit. Or at least look away. But he was sure if it did that, he would probably metaphorically shit himself and then leave the room. He had to resist reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. This thing was proof of how much he loved his son, because if he’d had his way, he would have never brought it into the house. And it was as if it knew that. Is that why it looked so smug? As if it was saying with those dead, glassy eyes, The fuck you gonna do? I’m here to stay and you can’t get rid of me.
Lan WangJi sighed in resignation.
In the next beat, he was down on his knees, fiddling around with the screwdriver. Both Lan Sizhui and Wei WuXian lit up, Lan Sizhui grinning as bright as a thousand suns and Wei WuXian smiling fondly. It was enough to make being in such close proximity to the Furby worth it.
And it may or may not have made Wei WuXian fall a little more in love with him.
The next day, Wei WuXian happened to be washing his hands in the bathroom, and after turning the water off, he thought he heard the sound of sniffling coming from one of the stalls. He tilted his head, absently wiping his hands dry, staring intently. Another cry, this one sounding more muffled, as if the person was trying to hide the fact that they were crying. At first, he told himself that he had no business poking his nose into something that didn’t concern him. After all, he knew if it were him, he wouldn’t have taken kindly to a stranger asking him if he was alright.
Except, he recognized the voice.
His heart tugged in his chest, and he froze. Without his consent, his feet took him over to the stall, and he chanced peeking underneath it. However, he didn’t see any feet, which led him to believe they were tucked up on the toilet. He lifted a hand, hesitating for a moment, before rapping his knuckles on the back of the door, saying, “Mo Xuanyu? Hey, what’s the matter?”
He heard a creak, presumably the result of Mo Xuanyu jolting in surprise. The reply that came was far too fake and cheerful, and did nothing to cover up the slight shake of his voice. “Oh nothing! I’m just…I’m just being ridiculous. I’m okay, don’t worry.”
Wei WuXian felt like he was in college with one of his drunk friends again, trying to coax them out of the bathroom stall as they blubbered nonsense. Thankfully, the technique for how to do so hadn’t left him. Patience, he told himself. He had to pretend he was talking to a child. Gently, he said, “Now, I’m sure it’s not nothing, not if it’s making you cry. Come on, I won’t judge. How can I? You’ve walked in on me standing on my work desk screaming in falsetto because my nephew’s dog had gotten into the lab again.”
It took a minute or two, as Mo Xuanyu mulled it over. He didn’t want anyone to see how awful he must have looked, but at the same time, no one had ever asked him what was wrong before, not since his mother. He had been isolated for most of his life, save for contact with the Jins, and all of them had been so, so cruel. There were days where he felt like he was being driven closer and closer to the precipice, and if he lost his footing he would fall into a pit of madness. There were already days where he could feel himself slipping, and those instances were made worse by his illness. The only thing that kept him sane sometimes was something his mother had said before she died.
“What they’re doing to you is not normal. Don’t ever let them fool you into thinking it is.”
It was both the best and worst thing she could have told him, because now the awful things his father said to him just hurt worse. Because even though he knew they were wrong, he couldn’t escape them.
Furiously, he wiped at his eyes, and Wei WuXian could hear the sound of skin scrubbing against skin, before the other man said through a stuffy nose, “Just Jin Guangshan being a bigot. That I’m disgusting, and if he finds out how to cure my cancer, he’ll still manage to make my life a living hell. That if I won’t change, he’ll give me what I deserve. But like I said, it’s nothing I’m not used to. He’s just back on his usual bullshit. I’ll be okay.”
There was a pause, before Wei WuXian said levelly, “Mo Xuanyu…open the door for me?”
There was the click of a lock being undone, before the door slowly squeaked open, and when he at last laid eyes on him, Mo Xuanyu looked just as pitiful as he sounded. He was all red nose, red eyes and red cheeks, dried tears shining on them. He resembled a sad, crying rabbit, all hunched up on the toilet, hugging his knees to his chest, keeping his head lowered, as if he was anticipating being yelled at. The sight tugged on Wei WuXian’s heartstrings, and without hesitation, he grabbed his wrist and pulled him off the toilet, saying, “Come on, I was just about to sit down and have dinner with my friends. You’re joining us. I’ll buy you something sweet.”
“But I”- Mo Xuanyu stammered, “I mean, you don’t have to”-
“This isn’t open for discussion,” Wei WuXian said firmly. “You’re sad. Sweets and company cure sadness. Trust me I’m a scientist.”
So Mo Xuanyu allowed himself to be dragged along to the cafeteria, and when they got there, he was gently thrown at the table where he could see Jiang Cheng, Nie Mingjue, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and Lan WangJi were sitting. He froze like a deer in the headlights when they all stopped talking and turned their eyes towards him, feeling very much like this had been a mistake. However, before he could protest, Wei WuXian was already leaving, saying something about how he would be right back and to hang tight.
Great. Like Mo Xuanyu didn’t already want the ground to open up and swallow him.
He sat there awkwardly, playing with the bottom buttons of his shirt and trying not to move, hoping they would just ignore him. Though he knew he was being ridiculous; he was acting like they were going to eat him. He trembled like an idiot, feeling a cold wash of fear running down his back, and his own bitter thoughts began whispering that they hated him. Wei WuXian was wrong. How could they accept him when he couldn’t even speak without the risk of vomiting all over himself from the nerves?
Wei WuXian soon came back with some small donuts, a whole basket of them in fact, and he placed them on the table in front of him, ordering, “There. You’re going to eat these until you feel better, and if this isn’t enough, I’ll get more.”
Wei WuXian then sat down heavily in the chair between Mo Xuanyu and Lan WangJi, and said to everyone at the table “So, he says his father is being a piece of shit bigot.”
Mo Xuanyu expected them to ask questions, to want to know in what way he was being a bigot, because that was what he used to. Then, after he would tell them what happened, they would usually wave him off and tell him he was overreacting, that wasn’t what bigotry looks like. “Bigotry leaves bruises, and no one called you a slur,” that’s what his mother’s extended family would say. But to his astonishment, that didn’t happen.
In fact, Nie Mingjue immediately replied, “Cool, I’ll kill him. Been looking for an excuse anyway.”
Jiang Cheng added, “Good, for once we agree on something. You have like a million hammers in that lab of yours, we’re all set.”
Wen Qing said while sipping her coffee, “I’m on my period. I’ll bleed on everything he loves.”
Lan WangJi and Wen Ning’s foreheads both flickered red, and to both Mo Xuanyu and Wei WuXian’s surprise, Jiang Cheng, Nie Mingjue, and Wen Qing kept going on and on about the creative ways they were going to get back at Jin Guangshan. Wei WuXian could tell they weren’t serious, that they were just trying to cheer Mo Xuanyu up. Not only that, but they then turned towards him and told him things like how they felt him, that they’d all been there, and he wasn’t alone.
“You’ve got a pack behind you now,” Nie Mingjue said with a nod. “There’s nothing that makes queer folks band together like a bigot being dropped in our midst. It’s like we turn into piranhas.”
Their words were enough to get Mo Xuanyu to smile, and then to laugh, first a small, “Heh,” and then a full-bodied laughed. The more time went on, the more he loosened up, because the things they said, he related to. He didn’t have to go along with what they were saying for the sake of fitting in; they were like him. He…wasn’t a freak like his father said he was.
The sheer relief at such a concept was so overwhelming that it took all of his energy to make sure his laughing didn’t turn into crying.
Yet, he had just gotten ahold of himself when he heard a new voice say over his head, “Here I am! The king has arrived, sorry I’m late.”
Mo Xuanyu instinctively glanced up, and when he laid eyes on Nie Huaisang, his head emptied of all thoughts except one: Holy shit isn’t that the pharmacist!? He didn’t even hear everyone’s responses, and he only barely processed Nie Huaisang sitting down in the empty seat next to him. And… maybe it was the fact that he was surrounded by a bunch of queer people validating him, but he felt a bit more confident.
Perhaps that was why he scooped some of the powder off his donut with his pointer finger and, once he had caught Nie Huaisang’s eye, stuck it in his mouth and sucked it off.
Nie Huaisang froze in his tracks, and Wei WuXian watched as he gave Mo Xuanyu a once over before raising his brows and biting his lip. He rolled his eyes and groaned; he knew that look. It was his, “I’m going to take him home with me tonight and eat him alive,” look. He braced himself.
True to form, his friend ignored the rest of them and plopped down in the seat next to Mo Xuanyu, saying suggestively, “Well now, where has Wei WuXian been hiding you?”
“Oh Huaisang, stop it,” Wei WuXian snipped, “He isn’t interested in your brand of ‘romance.”
Mo Xuanyu refuted, “Yeah I am.”
Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing to stare at them in utter surprise. Food even fell from Wen Qing’s mouth to land on the table. Even Nie Huaisang seemed shocked; quite a few people were put off by his lifestyle, and that scared away more than half of his potential partners. So, he felt it only fair to warn him by telling him, “I mean, Wei WuXian is right. I mostly specialize in one-night stands and brief flings.”
However, Mo Xuanyu just shrugged. “That sounds fine with me. Fling me anywhere you want as long as I land on your bed.”
Nie Huaisang blinked at him a couple times, before he burst out laughing. “Oooh, I like this one! I’m keeping him!”
And he pulled Mo Xuanyu close with one arm, holding him against his side. He glanced up at the other man, searching for any signs of discomfort, but Mo Xuanyu was smiling blindingly and his body felt relaxed, every muscle loose. He couldn’t help but smile back.
Oh yes, he definitely couldn’t wait to get this man back home.
Mo Xuanyu was a beauty, there was no doubt about that. Perhaps the most beautiful man Nie Huaisang had ever gotten to go home with him. But the more they talked, the more he realized that Mo Xuanyu was different from the other men he’d been with in other ways. The cancer, for one thing. The cancer above everything else. He’d been with many that had chronic illnesses, but never someone that had something terminal. However, Mo Xuanyu seemed to have come to terms with it a long time ago, and was even comfortable joking about it with him.
The other thing that made him unique was that he was…well, it wasn’t that he hadn’t been with a man before. Nie Huaisang had slept with plenty of those. He’d seen it all; men who were coming to terms with the fact they were gay, men who were experimenting, and even those who were cheating on their significant others and were looking to get something from him that they couldn’t get from them. Wei WuXian was right when he said his standards and even his morals were pretty low. There wasn’t a lot he wouldn’t do in the name of having a good time. However, what made Mo Xuanyu different was that his father was Nie Huaisang’s boss, and if word of this got out, it wouldn’t just be Mo Xuanyu who could be in a mountain of trouble.
However…despite that, it was hard to deny someone who had terminal lung cancer a good dicking down when they asked so nicely for it.
They were fortunate enough to have the apartment to themselves that evening, as Jiang Cheng had wisely decided to spend the night with Wei WuXian that night for some much-needed brotherly bonding. And it was a good thing too, because the instant they shut the door behind them, Mo Xuanyu asked timidly, “Um, sorry I didn’t want to before, but now that we’re alone…can I kiss you? I just, I get paranoid that my father’s friends are out and about and they can see what I’m doing, and they’ll tell him”-
“Shh, hey, it’s alright,” Nie Huaisang soothed, cupping his cheek. “You don’t need to explain why to me. No is a complete sentence. We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. I may be a slut, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my partners or don’t want them to have as much fun as I’m having.”
Mo Xuanyu finished taking off his shoes as he worked out the last of his nerves, before he checked one last time to make sure the door was locked and the shades were drawn. He stood up straight, his heart hammering. Nie Huaisang had taken him to a lovely dinner and had been nothing but kind all night. There was no reason for him to be nervous.
“Okay,” he exhaled heavily. “I’m ready. I’m okay. I’m just…sorry, I’ve never- but you knew that. I’ve only been with women because”-
“It’s not that different, I promise,” Nie Huaisang assured him, brushing the back of his hand over his cheek again. His voice dropped low and he turned down the lights in the entryway. He brought his face close to Mo Xuanyu’s, watching the other man’s face color. “Women have erogenous zones just like men. Maybe in different places, but that can be applied to everyone. We are all different. Hell, even I can’t assume one lover is going to love the same thing as the next one. Variety is the spice of life and part of the fun is figuring it out! And men like to be touched just as gently in those places, just as slowly.”
He leaned forward and kissed Xuanyu’s forehead, hearing the other man sigh and feeling his eyelashes flutter as his eyes closed. When he pulled back, he lightly ran his thumbs over his forehead, his eyebrows, and down his temples, before stroking his cheeks and finally rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip. He heard Mo Xuanyu’s breath tremble and then felt his warm tongue give his thumb a kitten lick as he pulled it away. Nie Huaisang laughed, low and dark in his chest.
“Oof, you saucy little gem,” he said, leaning towards him again. “I’m going to fuck you so well you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
To his surprise, the words made Mo Xuanyu whimper, his lips parting. That line wasn’t even one of his good ones! Perhaps it just spoke to how eager his partner was, how happy he was to finally be with someone he was attracted to. Well, who was he to keep him waiting?
He grabbed the back of Mo Xuanyu’s head and pulled him forward, before their lips met. Nie Huaisang couldn’t help but laugh against them when the other man immediately wrapped his arms around his shoulders, trying to pull him impossibly closer. He was kissing Nie Huaisang like his life depended on it, his hands trying to touch him everywhere at once. He smiled at the enthusiasm, a teasing comment on the tip of his tongue.
And yet, he couldn’t release it, because underneath all the enthusiasm was desperate relief so palpable that it was saddening. He was trembling, and still insisting on pulling Nie Huaisang as close as possible, as if he was afraid he was going to disappear. As if he was going to wake up and find out this was all a dream. When he began fumbling with Nie Huaisang’s belt buckle with shaky hands, he had to take them in his own and squeeze them gently, separating their lips and saying, “Shh, it’s alright. We have all night. I want to take my time with you, okay? You deserve to be spoiled.”
“But…Huaisang,” Mo Xuanyu whimpered.
“What? Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“I just...I’m sorry, I know I need to calm down, I just want everything at once- I need it, need you, and I feel like I’m going to crawl out of my own skin at any moment. I want you to treat me gently and to wreck me all at once. I want you to use me and I want to use you. I want you to fuck me until I lose my voice. I’ll do anything for it, anything, anything-
Nie Huaisang crushed their lips back together again so hard he dug his nose into the other man’s cheek, for if he had to hear one more word come out of his mouth, he was going to lose all semblance of control. This man was so perfect, so sweet in his strength and vulnerability. He wanted to swallow him whole.
He gave Mo Xuanyu exactly what he wanted, taking him apart a little bit at a time. He showed the other man where all of his erogenous zones were (he really seemed to enjoy having those licked and bitten) and encouraged him to tell him what he wanted and didn’t want. He squirmed and whined on the bed while Nie Huaisang ate him out and happily let the other man fuck his mouth while he knelt on the carpet in nothing but his knee-high socks. He seemed to enjoy being submissive, but perhaps that was because he hadn’t gotten ahold of his confidence yet. Still, Nie Huaisang wasn’t going to complain. His reddened face, heady expression and slick lips were absolutely divine.
And the noises he made…
Normally he disliked men that were too loud. To him, it came across as obnoxious, as if they were trying too hard to show him that they were enjoying themselves. But with Mo Xuanyu, he could tell that all the noises were genuine. It sounded like he was filled with passion and desire that was too big for his body to contain, and he didn’t know how else to release it or convey his thanks to Nie Huaisang for making him feel so good other than moaning loud enough for those in Tibet to hear him. So, he liked them, and encouraged them as much as he was able.
“Huaisang- ah~! Oh fuck, please, why must you be such a tease?” Mo Xuanyu whined.
He was still kneeling on the floor, knees parted while Nie Huaisang sat on the bed and stroked his cock with his foot, biting his lip at all the erotic expressions his partner was making. Even his annoyed face was erotic to him. He pressed his cock up against his belly, giving it a long, firm stroke, causing Mo Xuanyu to keen, high and nasal and sweet. He tilted his head and his long, dark hair fell over his shoulder with the ease of silk.
Nie Huaisang hummed in consideration before saying, “I suppose I can show you some mercy. You’ve been very good for me. How do you want it?”
He took his foot away, crossing his legs, looking down at Mo Xuanyu with glittering eyes in a way that made him feel very small, and he loved it. He soaked in that expression like it was rainwater on his dry skin, and said, “Well…I’ve always loved the thought of being in someone’s lap when they fucked me. Just something about the closeness and the warmth. It sounds very cozy.”
Nie Huaisang’s heart tugged in his chest. He wouldn’t think about that too hard, because otherwise he’d imagine this poor man all alone with no one to hold him in the past when he’d needed it most. So instead he straightened up and replied, “Of course. Come on up here, I’ll prep you.”
And if he thought Mo Xuanyu was a delight before, it was nothing compared to when the other man was bouncing desperately in his lap and throwing his head back, screaming his name like it was the only word left in his mind.
However, Mo Xuanyu had to admit his favorite part about the whole endeavor was the cuddling afterwards. Nie Huaisang held him as long as he wanted, letting him lay his head on his chest and keep his arms wrapped around his waist. Nie Huaisang stroked over his side and back as best he could while nosing his forehead, feeling the sweat drying there. They laid there catching their breath for a while, before Mo Xuanyu laughed to himself.
“What?” Nie Huaisang asked.
“Nothing,” his partner replied. “I’m just very happy. I had a great time, and it’s good to know that despite Jin Guangshan’s best efforts, I still got dicked down to within an inch of my life.”
That also had Nie Huaisang laughing, and he pulled him a little closer.
Another silence followed, before Mo Xuanyu said timidly, “So, I know Wei-Yisheng said you don’t date. And that’s fine with me but…I mean, I’d like to see you again. We don’t have to become a thing. In fact, that might be for the better. I’d be cool doing a friends with benefits thing with you or something.”
Nie Huaisang found himself nodding, staring up at the ceiling as he told him, “Yeah, that works for me. But…what do you mean that might be for the better?”
Mo Xuanyu’s voice grew small when he answered, “Well, I don’t know how long I’m going to live…I mean, I’ve been feeling okay for a few years, but that could change tomorrow for all I know. I just…don’t want you to get in too deep.”
The other man froze. That’s right. Mo Xuanyu was…he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. No, this would be no problem. He could deal with this. He didn’t get attached to his partners. Sure, when the time came, he would probably be sad, but it would be nothing he couldn’t handle. He hadn’t even cried much when his father died. He pulled back a little so that he could look Mo Xuanyu in the eye and smiled down at him.
“You got yourself a deal,” he said. “In the meantime, you can’t stop me from spoiling you. I’ve noticed your wardrobe needs an update. Maybe you’d like to take a trip to the mall with me this weekend?”
Mo Xuanyu laughed. “Well you’re in luck, I love being spoiled. And hell yeah we can. I’ve always thought my store brand pants clashed with my name brand tops.”
“Oh my God, you just earned yourself another round,” Nie Huaisang wheezed, pulling the laughing man closer and kissing him before rolling them both over.
However, their fun was interrupted by a cold slap of reality when Mo Xuanyu began coughing so hard Nie Huaisang wondered whether or not he was going to have to take him to the emergency room. He was only stopped from putting his clothes on by Mo Xuanyu, who insisted he was fine, this happened all the time, he just needed to catch his breath. But even when he did so, even when the coughing stopped and they picked up where they left off, a trace of ice remained in Nie Huaisang’s veins that couldn’t be melted away by the heat of his partner’s body.
Notes:
Joshua says: "A New ship entered the battlefield! With yet another dynamic portrayed! A painful one may I add; but we had to level the fluff with some angst now, did we? The cursed Furby was a commissionned idea by Rika that we just...had to include because it was so golden, yet so cursed. and its all about having fun regarding this story. No one is taking themselves too seriously; ohoh "
Yes thank you so much Rika, I wanted to write a scene where WWX and Sizhui bond, and was at a loss as to what to put in there. Then you dropped this cursed gem into your laps, and we appreciate it xD Also yes I know I went on and on for a while there with NHS and MXY's relationship, but I couldn't help it :'D Chapter title is a Savage Garden song!
Also just as an fyi you can blame Joshua for that last paragraph. I was going to let it end on a happy note xD But I always love sad fuckery so I wasn't going to turn it down xD
Chapter 28: You're the Center of Adrenaline
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I can’t take this anymore,” Jiang Cheng complained one afternoon at lunch, fighting the urge to slam his head on the table. “This is crazy, this has never happened before. I don’t know what the protocol is, Wei WuXian.”
“Protocol to what?” Wei WuXian wanted to know as he took another bite of his lunch.
“This!”
He flung his arm out towards Nie Huaisang, who had Mo Xuanyu practically in his lap, feeding him. Wei WuXian took one look at them and shrugged. “So? It’s been a few weeks now. Are you saying it’s too soon for them to be at this point?”
“No you don’t get it,” Jiang Cheng insisted. “I feel like I’m in the twilight zone or something. Nie Huaisang has never stayed with a partner this long. Is he sick? Is this his body double? Should I alert the government? What the fuck is going on?”
Nie Huaisang laughed, wrapping his arm around Mo Xuanyu’s waist. Mo Xuanyu’s shoulders jerked as he tried to avoid joining in; he certainly didn’t want to choke on his food. When he calmed down, he told his roommate, “It’s like I said, I really like this one! He’s much more fun than the other partners I’ve had.” He poked Mo Xuanyu’s cheek. “He’s just so cute, so fun to spoil. And he makes the cutest noises when I”-
Nie Mingjue, who was sitting across from them, choked on his tea, cutting him off. At the same time, Jiang Cheng’s face was turning green, and he said, “Must you?” at the same time Nie Mingjue sputtered, “I’m sitting right here!”
Mo Xuanyu pouted and leaned against Nie Huaisang, nuzzling his temple as he said coyly, “Er-gege, not in front of everyone…”
Wei WuXian snorted into his thermos. His tone, as well as the teasing gleam in his eyes, revealed he was playing it up in order to get a reaction out of everyone, and he was certainly getting a kick out of them. He supposed he couldn’t blame him for wanting to flaunt his relationship in front of them. He was finally living the life he’d always wanted to; he had a beautiful man on his arm, and Wei WuXian knew there was no one better to help him figure himself out, and he didn’t just mean in the bedroom. There was so much more to Nie Huaisang than that.
Though, from the looks of things, his friend was certainly satisfying him very much in that respect, and others as well. Mo Xuanyu was sporting a pretty new necklace that looked like it was made of real gold that Wei WuXian didn’t remember him having a few weeks ago.
He shook his head fondly. Mo Xuanyu was certainly not Nie Huaisang’s first sugar baby, and wouldn’t be the last, but he was probably the most deserving person Wei WuXian could think of to receive Nie Huaisang’s generosity.
Nie Huaisang tapped on Mo Xuanyu’s nose and cooed, “Aw, but I just want to make everyone jealous. You went from a nervous little thing who jumped when I mentioned holding hands to my cute little sex kitten. You want to tell them how I taught you how to beg just the way I like it? And then you begged me to push you against a wall and fuck you until you forgot everything but my name?”
Jiang Cheng groaned emphatically, “I know, none of this is news to me.”
Nie Mingjue on the other hand slammed his hands on the table and stood up, grumbling, “I can’t fucking do this. I put up with this shit for twenty years, I did my time.”
He left with a traumatized expression on his face, leaving Wei WuXian to wheeze in amusement. He leaned over towards Lan WangJi, who was sitting next to him, and asks, “I hope we don’t come across like this.”
Lan WangJi huffed an amused breath, his forehead lighting up yellow.
Nie Huaisang was absolutely dying laughing at everyone’s discomfort, and so was Mo Xuanyu, burying his face in his partner’s shoulder. This was nice, Mo Xuanyu thought. This was…fun. It was okay like this, he told himself. After all, he was the one who told Nie Huaisang that he didn’t want anything serious, considering his illness. He wondered if this would all be worth it, if when he’s on his deathbed someday, he would look back on this and have any regrets.
He sighed and glanced up at Nie Huaisang, smiling contentedly. He didn’t know what the future would bring, but in this moment, he felt that yes, it was all worth it.
The other man kissed his forehead, hugging him close. He set his chin on top of his head, trying to hide his expression from him. He was praying Mo Xuanyu didn’t see the hope on his face, hope that at some point, they could figure out something they could do for Mo Xuanyu so that he didn’t have to die. He hated to admit it, or maybe he didn’t, and that option was even scarier, but he was fonder of him than any other man he’d been with so far. He was already in deeper than he told himself he’d allow himself to be.
Later that evening, just as Wei WuXian was cleaning up, right on cue, he heard Lan WangJi’s familiar footsteps. He could feel a huge smile growing on his face, and when Wei WuXian turned around to greet him, his breath left him in an undignified wheeze and his knees grew weak so quickly that he nearly fell straight down onto the tile. He gripped the table for support and whipped off his goggles, wondering if this was how he was going to die.
Lan WangJi was wearing glasses. Oh God. Oh fuck. No, he couldn’t be doing this to him. Wei WuXian was going to call the cops because this had to be illegal in some province. But instead of voicing any of this aloud, he simply squeaked, “You don’t need glasses.”
His boyfriend shrugged. “My coworkers found them buried at the bottom of a drawer. They don’t have any lenses in them.”
He pulled them off and put his fingers through the empty lenses to show him. But Wei WuXian was hardly paying attention. He just wanted the other man to put the glasses back on his face and- yes, there it was, perfect. Lan WangJi slid them back on his face, taking in how Wei WuXian’s mouth dropped open, and how his grip had tightened on the table hard enough that Lan WangJi could hear it creak. His eyes narrowed smugly.
“My coworkers had the same reaction,” he said. “Some of them screamed. They said for once, I actually looked like a librarian.”
Wei WuXian stuttered hoarsely, “Y-You do.”
Hmm…Lan WangJi stared at him intensely, contemplating. What an interesting development. Did this mean Wei WuXian had a librarian kink? He tilted his head, tapping his chin as a plan formed in his mind. There was only one way to know for sure.
He slowly approached Wei WuXian, lowering his head, and then caged him against the table. A blush bloomed slowly across the bridge of Wei WuXian’s nose, and Lan WangJi watched his throat bob as he swallowed audibly in the quiet room. He seemed like he was barely breathing, his gaze locked on him. Perfect. Lan WangJi had him right where he wanted him. Now it was time to go in for the kill.
So, he lowered his glasses and, looking at him over the frames, said in a low, smooth voice, “Sir, are you aware you have fines on your library card?”
Lan WangJi had to resist flinching. That was the furthest thing away from sexy, but it was the first thing he could think of, considering he said it all day. But before he could apologize and try again, he watched in amazement as Wei WuXian’s blush deepened. Not only that, but he squeezed his thighs together, and sucked in a breath so quiet that he wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t so close.
There was a moment of tension so thick Lan WangJi could practically taste it, before Wei WuXian grabbed his hand and dragged him off towards his boyfriend’s room. Lan WangJi went without resistance, though he did question, “Wei Ying?”
“Come with me,” the other man said tightly, voice edged with a desperation that amused Lan WangJi greatly. Especially when he added, “You’re going to punish me for the fines I have on my card.”
“I am?”
“Yes. And I’m going to take everything off but those glasses.”
Well, that settled it. Guess the glasses were staying.
“This just heats things up with little shots of electricity, and if I touch it to some of the wires in your body, I should be able to stimulate the artificial nerves that convey pleasure. Basically, I can make it feel like you’re being jerked off without actually touching you. In a way.”
Lan WangJi had certainly not expected to have this kind of conversation with Wei WuXian today. Though honestly that was on him; it was stranger if at least one weird thing didn’t occur in this lab daily. Yet even in his wildest daydreams of all the new, dirty things he imagined doing with his boyfriend, he had to admit, he hadn’t thought of wireplay.
So here he was, sitting like a child in school on the couch, glancing over at the locked lab door, noting that the shades were drawn as well. Oh boy, Wei WuXian was serious. He must have put a lot of thought into…whatever this was. He hated to admit it, but the idea of Wei WuXian having daydreams of how he could ravish Lan WangJi was kind of hot.
Okay not kind of, it was really hot.
Regardless, he wasn’t going to discourage him, and instead listened intently, his forehead equal parts pink and yellow. He tilted his head, “Electricity?”
“Yeah,” the other man answered. He grabbed one of his tiny welders, pressing on it so that it sparked.
That gave Lan WangJi pause, his forehead flickering red for the briefest moment. “So…you would reach inside me and use that to stimulate that certain nerve directly?”
“That’s the idea!” A huge grin slowly grew over his face, and it somehow managed to look both terrifying and arousing. However, upon seeing his partner’s forehead turning red, the grin disappeared. “Um, we don’t have to if you don’t want to though?”
Lan WangJi clenched his hands into fists, and he glanced off to the side, mulling it over. It wasn’t that he was afraid per say to try something new with Wei WuXian. The problem was that his first instinct was telling him that such a thing would hurt. However, his rational mind reminded him his body was different now. And besides, didn’t he know from experience that things that would have definitely harmed his other body didn’t bother him now? And he knew Wei WuXian would never suggest something if he thought he wouldn’t like it, or if he thought it would hurt him.
Besides, when his eyes slid back up to the other man, still holding up that tiny welder, he noticed that he looked way too smug for someone who wasn’t sure whether or not Lan WangJi would enjoy this.
He sighed, long suffering. Wei WuXian was lucky he loved and trusted him so much. He stood up and moved so that he was directly in front of the other man, finally relenting. “Are you sure this is going to work?”
Wei WuXian laughed, his eyes narrowing as his smile became even more smug. With his free hand, he took Lan WangJi’s hands and guided them to his shoulders, closing them over them, wordlessly telling him that it would probably be wiser to hold onto him. Lan WangJi’s breath quickened, even more so when Wei WuXian leaned in so close he could feel his breath on his lips when he said, “Hey, you’ve forgotten something very important.”
Lan WangJi watched intently as he reached around and clicked his back panel open and, very carefully, slid the welder inside. The sensation should have disturbed him, but maybe it was because he was used to Wei WuXian popping different areas of his body open like the hood of a car and just feeling around inside that it didn’t. Besides, thankfully, most of his internal, artificial organs didn’t have any feeling in them. However, he did feel Wei WuXian’s fingers brush against his lower spine as he felt the nerves blindly. It didn’t hurt of course; it was just an odd sensation that made him start and raise an eyebrow at his partner. Yet, all he got in response was another smug smile, and that was his only warning before Wei WuXian poked his nerve with the welder.
Lan WangJi went stock still, his spine stiffening, his head falling back without his consent. He stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, the whites completely eclipsing his gold irises. His hands jerked over Wei WuXian’s shoulders, hovering in the air, fingers curling and stiffening. His forehead blared fuchsia with an audible hum, and his body suddenly felt so hot, he thought he was going to burst into flames. Vaguely, he heard Wei WuXian say, “I built this body. See?”
Fire raced from his lower back to his pelvis, settling heavily between his legs. His head tilted back even further, and almost immediately, he started trembling, the metal parts of his body clinking subtly together as a result. His mouth dropped open, so he had no hope of stopping the little cries that escaped him. They were soft and breathy, delectable in how it sounded like Lan WangJi was trying to tamp them down and failing. Oh heavens, Wei WuXian was right. He felt like his cock was being touched even though it so clearly wasn’t. It was dizzying and made him feel like he was going to float away on a hazy cloud. He regained his grip on Wei WuXian’s shoulders with a vulnerable moan, as if the other man was the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground. And yet, he was the cause of this confusing ecstasy, oh gods Lan WangJi couldn’t take it-
Then Wei WuXian started stroking the welder up and down the wire group.
Lan WangJi’s moans grew louder, and his spine jolted again. He squeezed his eyes shut, the top half of his face tight with tension while the bottom half was lax. He could actually feel the stroking between his legs, as if phantom fingers were trailing all over his cock at once, from the root to the tip. Not only that, but he could feel Wei WuXian adding a few pulses right where it felt the best. He held onto Wei WuXian for dear life, his legs quaking, suddenly on the verge of giving out, and he knew if that happened, he would take his partner down with him, and he very much didn’t want to risk that happening. His back arched and his eyebrows drew upward, his cries growing higher and sweeter.
Wei WuXian laughed low and dark in his chest as he glanced down between them. Lan WangJi was as hard as a rock, and pre-come was dripping steadily down the underside of his length. His shoulders were aching, and even so, he couldn’t help but be delighted. His partner was practically writhing, and it would take a stronger man than Wei WuXian not to be turned on by it.
“Now those are the sounds I like to hear!” Wei WuXian said, his eyes heavy lidded. “Not like the uneven whirring sound you were making the other day.”
“Wei Ying! Ah-Wei Ying!”
Wei WuXian sucked in a breath, feeling heat pool low in his belly. His heart was pounding, and energy was beginning to thrum beneath his skin, making him feel twitchy, as he often did when he started feeling good. And so, true to form, out came the word vomit. “I set it to 0,1V. That’s the barest minimum that will elicit a reaction and not cause any damage. But you can recalibrate regular nerves into ones that can be sexually stimulated through lots of practice. The brain actually eventually does it on its own, you know. So, what I’m essentially doing is trying to figure out the electrical pattern for these signals and trick the brain into thinking the nerve in your arm is the nerve in your dick. It sounds weird, I know, but some paralyzed patients who have no sensation in their lower bodies tricked their thumbs into thinking it was their dick and found a way to climax that way. Isn’t that cool?”
Lan WangJi nodded placatingly, and found that his thighs were shaking even more than before. God what was wrong with him? Was he actually to the point where he was finding Wei WuXian’s techno babble hot? Had he really heard it so much during sex that he was now beginning to associate it with it? This was absolutely insane. And yet, he couldn’t control his body’s reaction, nor the high keening cry he let out.
“I can feel it,” he wheezed. “Y-You’re finding- the pattern, you’re doing so well.”
Wei WuXian leaned in closer and kissed his neck, wet and messy, sucking at his artificial skin, scraping his teeth against the areas he knew would drive Lan WangJi up a wall with need. Then, he moved his lips up further to whisper into the other man’s ear, “That’s a good boy, Lan Zhan. Go on, you can let your voice out more. You sound so lovely. Look at you, so hard and I don’t even have to touch you. Shall we do this again sometime?”
Lan WangJi nodded desperately, his eyes still squeezed shut. Wei WuXian grinned, feeling his muscles flexing under his lips. He was so close, he could tell. He just needed one more little push, and Wei WuXian was more than happy to give it to him. Nuzzling under his jaw, he murmured, “Go ahead love, let go. I want to watch you. You’re so pretty when you come.”
Lan WangJi’s spine grew taut and he froze, a perfect picture of ecstasy, before his forehead flashed white, and Wei WuXian could hear the sound of his release pattering against his lab coat. However, his trembling didn’t cease or slow down in the slightest, and in fact had grown so intense that his legs could no longer hold him up. He only stayed on his feet long enough for Wei WuXian to remove the welder and snap his back panel shut because he sank gently to his knees. Wei WuXian fell carefully with him, still holding onto him, setting the welder aside so he could pull the other man against him, pulling his head down against his shoulder. He murmured reassurances into his hair, squeezing him tight, feeling his back heave as Lan WangJi panted.
They stayed like that on the floor for several minutes in a comfortable silence that were filled with the loud humming that was slowly growing quieter of Lan WangJi’s body as his systems gradually returned to normal. Once he cooled down and his breathing grew easier, Wei WuXian said cheekily, “You better be careful, Lan Zhan. You’re going to make my head bigger than it already is if you keep acting like that every time we mess around.”
Lan WangJi bit him in retaliation and hid his pout in his shoulder.
Plenty of weird thoughts always popped into Wei WuXian’s head when he was drunk, and Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang had become experts in dealing with them over the years they’d known him. However, this had to be one of the stranger things he’d asked them. They were at their usual watering hole, a bar that catered mostly to the queer crowd, as evidenced by all the neon pride flag colored signs that blared behind the counter. And as it neared midnight, the three of them were well into their drinks to the point that Wei WuXian’s face was flushed and it was getting difficult for him to keep his chin off the counter. He hiccupped, having only the vaguest idea that he was more drunk than he remembered being in a while. Had it really been that long since he’d been here?
“God, Lan Zhan has me more whipped than I thought,” Wei WuXian mumbled to himself.
“What was that?” Jiang Cheng asked, leaning in.
“If I’ve got the hots for a cyborg, does that make me a mechanophile?” his brother said, ignoring his question.
Jiang Cheng’s eyes rolled into the heavens and he leaned away again, grumbling, “God save me, I can’t deal with this tonight,” at the same time Nie Huaisang broke into wheezy laughter, slapping a hand on the counter. Wei WuXian felt like he should be offended, considering that had been a sincere question, but his brain was drowning in brandy and whisky and he couldn’t bring himself to get mad at them. He grumbled, “I swear I’m not one, okay? He’s still human. Technically. He’s just got a bigass prosthetic. That I find hot. And I fuck. And all it takes is his forehead turning fuchsia to get me horny- oh shit I am a mechanophile.”
For some reason, that just made Nie Huaisang laugh even harder, his forehead pressed against the counter, his shoulders heaving with it. He was gasping something like, “Oh my God Wei WuXian, you are so fucking stupid. We could have told you that. Even before Lan WangJi, I’m honestly surprised you hadn’t made a sex machine or something. No one at Lanling Jin would have been shocked if you told them you were walking it down the aisle.”
Wei WuXian’s eyes narrowed again and he leaned across the counter, jabbing a finger in his face before saying, “Joke’s on you, because Lan Zhan is my sex machine. And no I’m not sharing him with you. Or anyone else. He’s mine. You keep your greasy paws off him, Huaisang. I worked too hard on his bussy for anyone else to be sticking their dicks in it.”
Nie Huaisang, the idiot, started laughing even harder, and Jiang Cheng gagged, snapping, “Seriously? Right in front of my mojito? Is dealing with one horny idiot not enough, now I gotta deal with two of you?”
He was ignored, namely because Nie Huaisang was recovering from his laughing fit and wiping tears away from his eyes while Wei WuXian kicked his shin and then allowed his face to drop into his folded arms, one hand still gripping his drink possessively. He sighed heavily and shook his head, ready to get up and leave both of them here to fend for themselves.
Interestingly enough, a little further into the night, he saw Nie Huaisang’s gaze drift to the dance floor. There were at least a dozen couples bumping and grinding under the changing neon lights, and the song that was playing was some overly sexual beat that was drilling into Jiang Cheng’s skull. He nodded towards the floor, asking his friends, “You got your eyes on someone?”
At first, he didn’t think Nie Huaisang had heard him. The other man squinted at the dancers, before he shook his head and knocked back the rest of his drink. He exhaled heavily when he set it down, and confessed mournfully, “None of them are as pretty as Mo Xuanyu.”
He then joined Wei WuXian in somberly placing his chin on his folded arms, staring sadly off into space. Jiang Cheng’s jaw dropped open. This was- he couldn’t…
He scrubbed at his face, groaning into his palms. He wanted to go home. He was way too drunk to deal with this.
That same night, Lan XiChen was sighing heavily and padding around Nie Mingjue’s cabin, which they had once again retreated to the for the weekend, lamenting, “What am I going to do with you? You’re going to make me grey before I’m forty.”
Nie Mingjue, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, laughed and replied, “Ooh, silver fox Lan XiChen…now that’s a nice thought.”
“Oh shut up. You’re lucky you’re in pain, I’d smack you. And you know how I have trouble controlling my strength. I’m worried people are going to think I’m abusing you with the bruises I leave.”
He returned by his side a moment later, Nie Mingjue grinning impishly up at him, saying suggestively, “But I love how strong you are. No one has been able to manhandle me the way you can. It’s hot.”
Lan XiChen rolled his eyes. “Turn around, or I’ll do just that.”
“Oh really?”
“Mingjue. Now.”
The other man did as he was told, pulling his shirt off. Lan XiChen squirted a dollop of cortisone onto the tips of his fingers and began rubbing it into his shoulders. His partner flinched, but when Lan XiChen apologized, he insisted, “No, it’s not you. You were right. I was the dumbass who shouldn’t have been deadlifting very heavy equipment.”
Lan XiChen huffed, “You’re not as young as you used to be. You have to be careful, otherwise next time you’re going to walk away with more than torn muscles.”
Just then, his partner snorted and started laughing again to himself again, causing Lan XiChen to exclaim indignantly, “Well it’s true! And don’t say I shouldn’t worry about you, it’s literally my job to do that.”
“No, it’s not that,” Nie Mingjue replied, his shoulders still shaking as he calmed down. “Just, listen to us. We sound like an old married couple. I love it.”
Lan XiChen paused in his ministrations, a warmth starting in his chest before spreading to his extremities. Unbidden, a smile appeared on his face, and he said, “You do?”
“Absolutely. It’s been easier being with you than it has anyone else for me. I’m always amazed at how easily we clicked and how much I still love you, you know?” His tone became dryer when he added, “And who would have thought it’d all be thanks to that fucking troll.”
Now, it was time for his boyfriend to laugh. “That’s right. We’ll always been in his debt, won’t we?”
Nie Mingjue shuddered, as if the very idea disgusted him. Lan XiChen snorted and pulled his hands away before putting the cap on the cortisone. “You know, I think as much as you complain about Wei WuXian, deep down, you really do like him.”
The other man stuck out his tongue at him, causing Lan XiChen to roll his eyes.
After that, they began to settle into bed, and in the process of pulling the blankets back, he asked, “Mingjue? I was thinking, and I want you to be honest. When Lan Wangji’s existence is revealed to the outside world and Wei WuXian's other projects come to light, do you think there is a chance they would be in danger? And if so, do you think Wei WuXian can protect him?”
Once they were both laying down, Nie Mingjue sighed heavily, processing his words. The atmosphere suddenly felt very heavy, despite the cheery fire crackling in the fireplace and the warm light being thrown on the walls. Lan XiChen was staring at him with genuine concern, a hand placed on his upper arm. Eventually, he solemnly answered, "I don’t know. I mean, I want to believe people will understand the intention behind his work, but past experience has taught me that’s not always the case."
Lan XiChen squeezed his arm, hard enough that Nie Mingjue pulled it out from his grasp and repositioned them so that he was gripping his hand. His partner let out a slow, shuddering breath, his gaze fixed on their hands, and said, “I see. I appreciate your honesty.”
“Hey,” he told him, causing Lan XiChen to look up at him. “Just remember, they’re both going to have us. And anyone trying to get through us to them is going to wish they were never born.”
Lan XiChen’s eyes widened, and then crinkled as he huffed a laugh. “I was right. You do like Wei WuXian.”
Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes and his entire body over so that his boyfriend with faced with his back, though it only made him laugh harder.
Notes:
The wireplay is finally here :'D Thank you sooooo much Joshua for you extensive help with this chapter, I was having such a hard time with it, and he put up with all my pestering and I appreciate that a ton :3 He wrote the technobabble of course because we all know I can't xDD And he came up with the Nielan scene, because we can always use more of them ehehe.
Joshua says, "Hope everyone enjoyed all the softness with subtle angst this chapter proposed! I just want to mention to not look -too closely- at the technobabble of the wireplay. its all in good fun and that sometimes include putting aside logic for a moment. ( Though the thumb story is actually a real story, having your life partner work in a hospital makes for some interesting anecdotes.) We all greatly welcome reviews and always appreciate the input, don't be shy to leave them and enormous thank you to ya'll for keeping on reading! You rock!"
Chapter 29: Supernova
Notes:
Just as a little warning, this chapter contains a depiction of perfectly consensual and enthusiastic inebriated sex :3
Drowning in a haze, and I just wanna get in deeper
Purple skies with a million stars, I'm falling ground
These days when I'm losing track of time, these days when I'm burning up inside
These days when I'm lost, I search the skiesLike thunder screaming out for a flash of lightning
Stars are falling down for God's applause
I'm waiting for the light of your supernova - Supernova, Within Temptation
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wei WuXian was more than a little terrified when he heard screaming the next day. Not because the screaming sounded particularly scared, oh no, on the contrary. It carried a sort of feral joy that was so intense it paralyzed him. However, the disturbing part was that the happy screaming was coming from Wen Qing.
It started off faint before growing louder until she burst into his lab, his door slamming against the wall with a loud bang. He was forced to stop his work due to the fact that he jumped so high in the air that he nearly cracked his head on the ceiling, causing his tools to clatter all over his work bench. Lan WangJi, alarmed by the noise, came flying out of his room over to his side, his forehead red with alarm, just in time to see Wen Qing race into the room in with Wen Ning trailing behind her, his forehead a bright yellow and an equally bright smile on his face.
Spinning around, Wei WuXian exclaimed in exasperation, “Good God, what’s the matter, where’s the fire!?”
Instead of answering, she leapt forward and glomped him, fucking glomped him, squeezing him so hard he heard his spine crack and pulling him with her body as she wiggled back and forth, only for her to let go of him and trot over to Lan WangJi to give him the same treatment. He watched, bewildered, Lan WangJi’s forehead turn light green and the other man’s eyes widen with trepidation. When she pulled away, she thrusted her hand under their noses. Both of them reeled back, confused as to what they should be looking for at first, until…
Wei WuXian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Holy shit, is that an engagement ring?”
Wen Qing crowed, “Fuck yeah it is, my queen proposed to me and asked if I’d like to rule our apartment with her forever and I said yes! I said yes!”
She squealed, honest to death squealed, nearly dancing in place. The two men glanced over at each other, Wei WuXian breaking into a smile while Lan WangJi shrugged helplessly. Thankfully, Wen Ning was there to save the day. He approached and told them, “Luo Qingyang proposed to her last night. I got the text and a picture of the ring at like midnight.”
“Ohhhh,” Wei WuXian said. He turned to face her. “Well congrats, Wen Qing. You’ll have to let us know when the wedding is when you figure things out. I’m already envisioning that everything is going to be witch themed? Are your little familiars going to be your ring bearer and flower girl?”
“You bet it is. And if my in-laws don’t like it, they can suck it. My ferrets are way cuter than any of their ugly ass grandchildren.”
“We’re happy for you,” Lan WangJi said.
“OF COURSE YOU ARE, I’M GOING TO BE A WIFE MOTHERFUCKER, HELL YEAH.”
She double-fisted the air, leaping up again and whooping for joy, before she left as quickly and loudly as she’d arrived, no doubt off to find someone else she could tell the good news to. Wen Ning gazed after her in fond amusement, his forehead still yellow.
“You know,” he said, “for the amount that she yells at you, underneath she really does like you, Wei-Yisheng.”
“All the permanent bruises I have on the back of my head would say otherwise,” Wei WuXian refuted.
Wen Ning chuckled, “Trust me, she does. You’re the first of her coworkers she’s told the news to.” He sighed wistfully, and then began heading over to the door. “Well, I better go after her and make sure she doesn’t cause any more property damage. I’ll see you soon?”
After he disappeared around the doorframe, and Wei WuXian sighed and shook his head. “Well, this will be interesting. I haven’t been to a wedding since I was a kid. Normally I can’t stand them, but this should be fun, considering I’ll know more of the people there. Maybe we can find a way to sneak you in there too.”
He looked up at Lan WangJi, a teasing grin on his face. However, the grin slowly fell from his face when he saw his expression. The other man appeared contemplative his mouth pressed into a thin line, and he was staring at Wei WuXian in a peculiar way, his forehead the lightest shade of pink, and his eyes were heavy lidded. The doctor raised an eyebrow at him. “Lan Zhan? Are you okay?”
Lan WangJi blinked, snapping himself out of his daze. “Mn? Yes.”
Wei WuXian eyed him suspiciously for a moment, before he shrugged, and then went back to work, picking up all his scattered tools, turning his back on him. Lan WangJi sighed in relief, thankful that he couldn’t tell what he was thinking, couldn’t see the want that swelled up in him when he saw that ring. However, his gaze lingered on Wei WuXian’s back for a moment longer, warmth once again swelling up in his chest, before a smile twitched its way onto his lips and he made his way back into his room.
Wei WuXian loved summer, loved the heat, loved the fact that it was as wild and bright as he was. Loved the fact it often made Lan WangJi take his shirt off within a few minutes of stepping outside of the lab especially. However, just as always, summer had to come to an end, but this year was far more morose than usual, because this year marked the end of the interns’ time at Lanling Jin, which meant that now Wei WuXian was tearfully shaking hands and telling all the interns goodbye. He saved Lan Sizhui for last, hugging him and saying, “Keep coming and visiting when you have time, but only if you want. You’re an adult now, you can go off and explore and do whatever you want. But if you need help with your studies, let me know. Don’t leave me here with no one to talk to but your dad.”
Lan Sizhui snorted and hugged him back. “Certainly not.”
Once he backed away, Wei WuXian happened to glance to the side and noticed Jin Ling was speaking to Jin Zixuan. His nephew’s eyes were narrowed and his lips were thin with irritation, and then all of a sudden, Jin Zixuan said something Wei WuXian couldn’t hear that made Jin Ling start shouting at him, drawing everyone’s attention to them. The chatter among the interns and other employees of Lanling Jin died down as they all stared.
Jin Zixuan looked taken aback as he said, “But we were getting along this summer…I thought you’d be supportive.”
“Yes, but I’m not ready for this!” Jin Ling yelled. “I might never be! Not after you- No, I won’t accept this. Stay away from me and my mother!”
He stomped off, pushing past Wei WuXian. However, the doctor tried to stop him with a concerned, “Jin Ling! What’s wrong, what did”- but he was unsuccessful; Jin Ling ignored him and kept going until he turned the corner down the hall.
Wei WuXian’s eyes narrowed, and without thinking, he rounded on Jin Zixuan, getting up in his face and spitting, “What the fuck did you do!?”
He shoved at his chest so hard that Jin Zixuan was knocked back a couple of steps, and everyone around them gasped. However, to everyone’s surprise, the Lanling heir said nothing in reply; he didn’t even look at Wei WuXian, staring at the floor instead. If he was trying to diffuse the situation by attempting to appear less threatening, it wasn’t working, because his lack of response only made Wei WuXian angrier. He postured up, approaching Jin Zixuan again, his mouth twisted in a snarl.
Lan Sizhui, who was one of those individuals watching, read the signs, and didn’t hesitate to run off, knowing when Wei WuXian was this angry, there was only one person who might be able to get through to him.
“Answer me!” Wei WuXian demanded. “What did you say to him?”
“It’s none of your business,” Jin Zixuan said.
“Absolutely it’s my business! Anything to do with that kid is my business! How dare you spout bullshit like that?”
Some people around them dared to say things like, “Wei-Yisheng, calm down,” “It’s not worth it, just let it go,” and, “Leave well enough alone, come on now,” but of course, he ignored all of them. He was too focused on Jin Zixuan, who to his surprise, finally cracked and admitted, “You want to know? Fine. I asked your sister to marry me.”
Well, that was absolutely not what Wei WuXian had been expecting. And it was most certainly not what he wanted to hear. He didn’t even bother to reply, completely blinded by rage to the point no one would have been able to get any intelligent responses out of him. He leapt at Jin Zixuan and proceeded to tear into him like a wild animal, roaring and trying to get him down to the ground, swinging his fists like crazy. But Jin Zixuan held firm, remaining on his feet, and trying to grapple with the other man, holding his wrists. However, fury gave Wei WuXian strength, and he managed to free one of his hands, using it to whale on Jin Zixuan’s face and stomach, really anywhere he could reach. No one dared to intervene beyond shouting for them to stop, because anyone that tried, Wei WuXian swung at or tried to bite.
Thankfully, at that moment, Lan Sizhui returned, Lan WangJi jogging behind him, and just in time. Wei WuXian had already managed to land a couple of punches on Jin Zixuan’s face, and just before his fist could land a third time, he wrapped his arms around Wei WuXian’s middle and picked him up easily, as if he weighed no more than a doll. Wei WuXian struggled and shouted, pounding his fists against Lan WangJi’s arms and trying to pry his hands off. But the other man held firm, his grip literally as strong as iron. It would have taken a force much larger than even an angry Wei WuXian was capable of to make him let go.
“Wei Ying, shhh, easy,” he tried to soothe, pushing his face next to his ear to make sure he heard him.
But Wei WuXian was still incapable of hearing reason, and yelled, “Let me go, dammit! I’m going to rip his face off and make him eat it! The fucking bastard, I’ll kill him!”
“Wei Ying”-
“Let me go, let me go!!”
Slowly, Jin Zixuan at last dared to raise his head, though he still warily eyed Wei WuXian. His cheek was bruised, and his lip was split. Still, after wiping the blood from it, he managed to get out “Your sister didn’t tell you…”
Wei WuXian hardly heard him, as he was still preoccupied with foaming at the mouth and trying to make good on his threat. Jin Zixuan looked like he wanted to say something else, his lips parting, but in the end, he decided against it, people in the crowd coming to stand by his side and gently guide him away from the situation telling him that he needed to get to the infirmary. Once he turned and started walking away, Lan WangJi did the same, tossing Wei WuXian over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Wei WuXian distantly heard Lan WangJi tell his son that he could go home, thank you for getting him and that he would handle things from here, but he was far too focused on thrashing around, still uselessly trying to get at Jin Zixuan.
It was only when Lan WangJi carried him a long way away that Wei WuXian finally started to calm down. Once they arrived in an empty hallway on the other end of Lanling Jin, he finally said, “Put me down. I need to text JieJie.”
Lan WangJi did so, warily keeping an eye on him and blocking the hallway so he couldn’t dart around him. However, Wei WuXian wasn’t even looking at Lan WangJi; his nose was buried in his phone and his fingers were furiously flying across his keyboard, the light illuminating his drawn brows. When he was done, he pocketed his phone with a frustrated sigh, before he began pacing back and forth.
Yet, far sooner than he expected, his phone buzzed a reply, and he was pulling it back out again. Lan WangJi watched his face carefully as he read the text out loud.
“Zixuan is the one who recommended you to Jin Guangshan when you were looking for work,” he said, his voice growing shakier with every word, “after you cut ties with our parents. A-Xian, he’s the reason you have your job there.”
Wei WuXian slowly lowered his phone and put it back in his pocket, looking like he had just seen a ghost. He felt completely numb, a million sensations inside of him fighting for dominance all at once, and he didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or throw up. But after a moment, he slowly looked up at Lan WangJi, noting that his forehead was green with worry, and he sighed, before approaching him.
“Wei Ying?” his partner asked.
He didn’t reply; he just let his forehead thunk against his chest, and stood there completely still. Lan WangJi placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling his own relax when he realized that all the fight had gone out of the other man, and at the moment, he just needed him to be there for him.
“Carry me back to the lab,” he said softly. And then, more vulnerably, “Please. If you’re not holding onto me, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Lan WangJi lifted his hand and placed it on the back of his head, gently threading his fingers through his hair while minding his red ribbon, and murmuring, “Mn,” before doing as he asked, one arm under his upper back and the other under his knees. He carried him back to the lab, before locking the door behind them at Wei WuXian’s request.
Now, there wasn’t much to do but wait; wait to see what Jin Zixuan would do as a result of the assault. However, to his surprise, when Jiang Cheng eventually texted him, he told him that the Jin heir didn’t want any disciplinary action carried out towards Wei WuXian.
“He says that he feels he deserves it,” Jiang Cheng’s text read. “I think it’s only because he’s the heir to the company that he’s being taken seriously.”
No sooner had he closed out of that text that Yanli texted him again, saying, “I haven’t said yes to Zixuan’s offer. I’m not sure what I want yet.”
In the silence of the lab, the clock ticked past five, and Wei WuXian put down his phone again, scrubbing down his face. Lan WangJi, who had been sitting by him on the couch the whole time, finally questioned, “Wei Ying?”
“I’m okay,” the other man assured him. “I just…ugh, I need a drink. I need lots of drinks. Actually, I just want to get fucking drunk. How about it, Lan Zhan, want to get fucking drunk with me?”
Lan WangJi tilted his head, hesitating before answering, “Well, if it’s just us…maybe in my room?”
Wei WuXian shrugged. “Sure, works for me. Let me make a booze run, I’ll be back in a bit.”
He made said run and returned not too long later, holding up his bag and smiling victoriously. It crinkled with every excited step he took, and he declared, “Alright, got the good stuff. Emperor’s Smile never fails me.”
He put the bag on the table, fishing out one of the bottles. “Now, obviously you can’t slam these back like a regular person. But thankfully, I’ve fantasized way too much about what it’d be like to get drunk with you, so I think I know a way.”
Lan WangJi watched in fascination as he set the bottle down, before popping him open and reaching inside. Wei WuXian then took said capsule and before poured a tiny, carefully measured bit of alcohol in it, squinting at it critically the entire time, explaining, “Since you say your tolerance is shit, and you don’t have a liver to process this, that means this is going straight to your brain, so we’re going to just give you a tiny amount and we’re going to dilute the hell out of it.”
After diluting the solution, he declared, “There, that should be good,” and then stuck the capsule back in before closing him up. He then decided now was a good time to start in on his booze, knocking it back like he’d been born with it in his hand.
“Give it a minute to kick in,” he said, and Lan WangJi had no idea if he was talking about him or his own bottle. “You might want to go sit down on the couch just in case.”
He tried to ignore the sense of trepidation those words filled him with, but he figured Wei WuXian knew best, so he did as he asked, sitting on the couch and bouncing his leg, not sure where he should look or what he should be expecting to feel. Wei WuXian looked him up and down and snorted.
“You look like a virgin waiting for marriage,” he said. He grinned teasingly. “Shall I ask Wen Qing where she got her ring from? I’d hate to make you wait any longer.”
Lan WangJi wanted to reply, but to both his surprise and Wei WuXian’s he began to sway where he sat, his eyes growing heavier and heavier. He then gently fell to the side, his head landing perfectly on a pillow. Wei WuXian jumped in panic, ready to race over to him to see if anything was wrong, but then he noticed his forehead was deep blue and not orange. Ah, so he was asleep. Well, alright then. A shame. He would have loved to see Lan WangJi’s drunk antics for himself.
However, to his utter shock, just ten minutes later, right when WWX had managed to tip back most of his bottle, Lan WangJi was rising up from the couch, looking dazed and his hair slightly mussed, and more importantly, clearly drunk by how unfocused his eyes were. Wei WuXian set his bottle on the table with a clink, finally beginning to feel the effects himself. His stomach was warm and his brain felt floaty, but not in a frightening way. His limbs were heavy and relaxed, and he smiled crookedly, sauntering over to Lan WangJi slowly, savoring the moment.
“Morning, sunshine,” he drawled. “You should have warned me that you fall asleep after you slam one back. You scared me. The Emperor’s Smile is beginning to kick in, and trust me I’m very useless when I’m- hey!”
Once Wei WuXian was close enough, the other man reached out and wrapped an arm around his waist, before he pulled him onto his lap. He squeezed him tight to his chest and nosed the back of his neck like an affectionate puppy, snuffling his way into his hair. Wei WuXian snorted.
“What are you doing?” he asked, settling his hands on top of Lan WangJi’s.
“Hiding,” Lan WangJi said. “Your hair is safe. It smells nice.”
“Aw, Lan Zhan. Well, that may be, but I’m not done with my drink. Will you let me get up and grab it?”
“Mmph…no. You’re staying right here.”
“In your lap?”
“Yes. Whole night.”
“Oh my God this was the best idea I’ve ever had. Alright, then can you get it for me?”
Lan WangJi hesitated, trying to figure out a solution that would please both of them. Finally, he stood up, still holding Wei WuXian around the waist like a kid that refused to let go of his favorite toy, tottering over to the table and grabbing his alcohol for him, before sitting back down, Wei WuXian wheezing with laughter the entire time. He then tipped back the rest of the Emperor’s Smile, Lan WangJi watching his throat bob as he swallowed it down with a heavy-lidded gaze. Once Wei WuXian finished, Lan WangJi hummed in satisfaction and began kissing all the bare skin he could reach, his movements lazy and slow.
Wei WuXian let out a hiccup and, after setting the now empty bottle aside, twisted around in his partner’s lap, nuzzling him back.
“Wasn’t Wen Qing’s ring so nice?” he said. “Ugh, I’d like a ring like that someday. Heh, wouldn’t it be crazy if I asked you to marry me sometime? We’ve only been dating for a half a year…way too soon, but you’d make a hell of a husband. And I could be your trophy husband. I’m hot enough, I could do it.”
Lan WangJi’s forehead lit up the brightest pink imaginable. “I could do that…ask you to marry me.”
Wei WuXian laughed and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Another time.”
“Mn. For now…could you…” he paused, his forehead flushing a flustered dark green, before he leaned forward and whispered in Wei WuXian’s ear. The doctor laughed uproariously, louder than he should. Really, what Lan WangJi said wasn’t that funny, but the way he said it…
“Oh Lan Zhan,” he said with a fond shake of his head, “are you asking me to fuck you? You’re so cute, so shy. You can just say it straight out. But alright, we can do that.”
They headed off into the bedroom, Wei WuXian leading Lan WangJi by the hand, and they didn’t hesitate to undress when the door was shut, before Wei WuXian all but fell on his knees and pulled Lan WangJi forward by his hips. Okay, he was a bit sloppy, and he kept missing where his dick was, but he laughed his ass off about it and remained on his knees, happy as a clam while he sucks his partner’s dick. He’d managed to pin Lan WangJi against the wall, the other man’s head thunking against it as it fell back. He tried not to slide down as the stimulation grew more intense, placing his hands on Wei WuXian’s shoulders to brace himself. His lips parted around his stupidly loud moans. If Wei WuXian could have, he would have laughed; his partner was so cute, cuter than anyone had the right to be. He had found yet another version of Lan WangJi that he loved, one who had no inhibitions and wanted to let Wei WuXian know he was feeling good.
Lan WangJi chanced looking down and whimpered. Wei WuXian had no right to look as good as he did like that, with his glowing cock disappearing in and out of his mouth, the blue light visible even under the thin skin of his throat when he swallowed it down.
Wei WuXian had to keep taking breaks because he was laughing at how over the top Lan WangJi sounded, and when Lan WangJi glared down at him, he said, “I’m sorry! You just sound so…I love it, I can’t deal with you- mmph!”
Lan WangJi dragged him up so that he could smother his lips with his own, super uncoordinated, but he didn’t care. He succeeded in shutting him up.
When they separated, Wei WuXian still giggled breathlessly, and in spite of his, Lan WangJi found himself asking, “Are you hard yet?”
“Not quite. Not enough to fuck you.”
To his delight, Lan WangJi frowned in disappointment, looking so sad that Wei WuXian reached up and stroked his cheek, as if he could wipe the expression off his face. Then, he backed away, holding his head higher and saying with the slightest amount of haughtiness, “Well, I think you know what you need to do to make that happen.”
When he felt the back of his knees hit the mattress, he sat down, before crossing his legs, slow and purposeful, looking down his nose at him expectantly. “Come on, Lan Zhan. Don’t keep me waiting.”
His voice was so low and commanding, and the look he was flashing Lan WangJi made him feel small and insignificant.
He loved it.
Lan WangJi felt heat wash down his back, and without a word, he practically stumbled forward, dropping to his knees in front of Wei WuXian. He lowered his head so fast that Wei WuXian caught it with a shocked laugh. But of course, he was fine. This uncoordinated Lan WangJi was adorable, but if he wasn’t careful, he was going to give him a heart attack.
However, when his partner took him in his mouth and blew him so hard, he nearly sucked the soul out of him, he didn’t care about things like that anymore.
“I love you so fucking much,” Wei WuXian groaned, his back arching slowly. “Oh gods Lan Zhan, I can’t, you’re- shitshitshit, Lan Zhan!”
He didn’t know what was better, the actual blowjob itself, or the fact that Lan WangJi was still moaning enthusiastically as he gave it to him, as if the mere fact Wei WuXian was feeling so good made him feel good too. Maybe it was the praise that was making him moan. He wondered if he kept praising him, could he come from that alone?
“Ah- Lan Zhan, hold on, stop,” he gasped, tugging lightly at the other man’s hair. “I’m- you wanted me to fuck you, yeah? If you keep going, I won’t be able to.”
It took Lan WangJi’s brain, swimming in alcohol and hormones, a moment or two to process what he was saying, but when he did, he lifted his head comically fast, artificial saliva a silver trail from his bottom lip to the tip of Wei WuXian’s length. It shone in the low light for a second before it snapped, but Lan WangJi’s lips remained parted. He nodded frantically, breathing hard, trembling with want.
“Please,” he begged hoarsely. “I’ve been good, haven’t I? Please? Don’t I deserve this?”
He gave Wei WuXian’s cock a light tug, not enough to hurt, but enough to make Wei WuXian jolt. Squeezing his eyes shut, he babbled, “Fuck, yeah you have been good, you’ve been super good. Turbo good, the goodest, oh fuck it just get on your back so I can plow you.”
Lan WangJi didn’t hesitate to obey, crawling on the bed and laying up by the pillows, and Wei WuXian didn’t hesitate to prep them both and slide into him. Right from the beginning, he was merciless, pushing Lan WangJi’s legs up until the other man’s knees were by his ears, holding them there while he pounded into him. Lan WangJi’s neck arched, the back of his head digging into the pillows, mouth agape on a yell so loud it startled Wei WuXian.
“Wei Ying, please,” his partner whined. “Please…pl-ease!”
Fire traveled through Wei WuXian’s veins; whenever Lan WangJi started feeling especially good, it seemed like all words would flee from his mind and he would just say “please” over and over again. And even better, his voice broke and pitched upward at the end because Wei WuXian had sat upright and pulled Lan WangJi closer towards him by his waist. Evidently, he had enjoyed the manhandling far more than Wei WuXian thought he would.
He was so perfect like this, so sweet and vulnerable…Wei WuXian almost felt guilty for turning him into this. Almost. To make things even better, he had left Lan WangJi’s earrings on, and when he looked down, he saw that they were swaying in time with his thrusts, catching the light from his partner’s forehead and flashing periodically. The motion was hypnotic, and Wei WuXian felt dazed. Softly, he soothed Lan WangJi, stroking his partner’s thigh. “You poor thing. You’re just feeling so good you don’t know what you want, do you? That’s okay. I do. You just lay there and don’t worry about thinking, yeah? All you have to worry about is taking whatever I give you.”
Lan WangJi keened from his words, the sound far more defenseless than it had any right to be, and even worse, he bared his throat to him, the sensitive wires glistening in the low light, as if saying, Be as cruel or gentle as you want. I trust you. You can have all of me and do whatever you want with it.
Through the alcohol, Wei WuXian could slowly feel himself going insane.
Needless to say, when he made his partner come, he very nearly blew out Lan WangJi’s back, and had no doubt he was going to have to make repairs on him in the morning.
They barely had the strength to clean themselves up before Wei WuXian crawled over to his side of the bed, wrapped himself around him, and passed out. Lan WangJi, deeply relaxed but not enough to fall asleep yet, remained sitting up, observing his partner. The other man hadn’t bothered to put on clothes, or pull the blankets up around himself for that matter, and they pooled down by his thighs. Lan WangJi’s eyes traveled slowly over him, going from his dark, relaxed brows, to the curve of his ear and neck up to the rise of his shoulder, down his arm and the slope of his waist, down around to the bumps of his hipbones that framed his by now flaccid length, and then back up towards his full thighs. Awash in the yellow light of the lamp and the blue glow from Lan WangJi’s body, he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and somehow, he’d picked Lan WangJi’s bed out of all the beds in the world.
The thought still took his breath away.
He sighed, watching Wei WuXian’s ribs expand and contract as he breathed, mind drifting back to his words about marriage. Sure, they were spoken in drunken jest, and yet…
And yet.
And yet he couldn’t help but imagine a ring on the other man’s finger like Wen Qing’s, a ring that Lan WangJi had picked out especially for him. Well, maybe not just like hers. Maybe a different kind of ring. Maybe….
Maybe these were not the types of things he should be thinking about seriously while he was still drunk. But when he was sober, perhaps in the morning, that was a different story. He leaned over, turned off the lamp and kissed Wei WuXian’s forehead, before pulling the blanket up over both of them, and settling down so that the other man’s face was tucked against his throat, before he fell asleep the rhythmic sound of his breathing in the dark, silent room.
Notes:
Hey all! As you can see, the rest of the fic is all planned out, and we can't wait for you to see it! Please marvel at all the beautiful art we have for this chapter, it's too gorgeous for our eyes <3
Joshua says: "This chapter went from a bit angsty to horny pretty quick. isn't it? Wwx's life is a rollercoaster ohoh. This chapter is a direct result from wanting to see a more positive depiction of inhebriated sex ( not that I encourage drinking,obviously) but lowered inhibition when done with someone you are 100% comfortable with can lead to endearing, relaxed moment or very very silly "unfiltered" sex aha. Lan Wangji loosened up a bit this chapter....in more ways than one. -badadum tsss-"
Chapter 30: Partners in Stupidity Forever
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Wei WuXian didn’t consider himself a coward, especially not when it came to confronting the Jins, and especially not a gutless piece of shit like Jin Zixuan. And yet…
And yet.
He would not admit that it took him time to accept that he should confront the man, and that confrontation should not include decking him in the face again. Rather he should probably…begrudgingly, be mature and hold an actual conversation with him. He reasoned that he wasn’t going to do it for the spoiled Jin’s sake, though. No, he was doing this for his sister. She had seemed so upset when she heard he’d punched Jin Zixuan in the face, fussing over him and wishing he didn’t get in so many fights. Not only that, but he wanted to set a good example for his nephew, that if Wei WuXian could be civil to Jin Zixuan, then so could he.
No matter how much he’d rather shit glass than hold a conversation with this man.
So, he resigned himself to hunting Jin Zixuan down one day, and after he’d done that, he tapped him on the shoulder (not too hard even, Wei WuXian was very proud of himself) and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?”
Jin Zixuan, who was speaking to two other doctors, raised an eyebrow at him. Wei WuXian rolled his eyes, insisting, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to punch you.”
The other man only raised his eyebrow further, before sighing and telling the doctors, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
He then followed Wei WuXian into an empty office, wherein the other man closed the door and turned around to face him. Jin Zixuan backed away and leaned against the desk in the room, crossing his arms and side-eyeing him distrustfully before asking, “Alright, what do you want? This better not take too long, otherwise they’re going to come in after me. And since you’re the last person they saw with me, you won’t be able to get away with murder.”
“I’m not going to”- Wei WuXian burst out, and then caught himself, taking a deep breath and clenching his hands into fists by his side. Getting angry wasn’t the answer. The truth was. “I just-Jie told me. About how you recommended me for this position. How…you’re the reason I’m not a bum living on the streets.”
“And how much effort is it taking you to say that without vomiting?” Jin Zixuan wondered.
Breathe, Wei WuXian, breathe. He pretended he didn’t hear that, concentrating instead on remembering how he was disgraced after he cut ties with his parents, how they were going to make sure no one hired him because they feared for the future of the medical field, given his interests. It hurt knowing how his sister was so scared for him that she turned to a person that had hurt her in the past to secure his future.
You’re doing this for Jie and Jin Ling. And maybe…maybe, yourself. Just a little. There’s no way you’ll be able to go to your grave knowing you didn’t at least acknowledge this bastard.
After he got ahold of himself, Wei WuXian ground out, “I guess…I just wanted to say thank you. I…mean it, even if I don’t sound sincere. I’m sorry, it’s just…”
He trailed off. Jin Zixuan was right, this was difficult to say without throwing up. He could already feel his bile rising. Thankfully, the other man seemed to sense this and scratched the back of his head awkwardly, before saying, “I get it. We’ve both done some fucked up things in the past.”
“To put it lightly. But you can’t tell me you recommended me to your old man purely out of the goodness of your heart.”
Jin Zixuan flinched, and had the decency to lower his gaze as he admitted, “I…don’t know how else to win Yanli and my son back.”
Wei WuXian narrowed his eyes, hating how sincere he sounded. Because that meant he was really torn up over this fact, and that meant he had to take him seriously. Had to be sincere in return. Ew. “I’ll be honest, it may be too late, and at the very least, they’re not going to come back to you if you don’t want them back for any other reason than you love them and can’t bear the thought of being without them.”
“I do!” Jin Zixuan exclaimed, uncrossing his arms, his eyes widening with desperation. “I don’t care what my parents want. I just…I’ve missed out on so many years…I don’t know what was wrong with me when I was younger. Slowly but surely, I’m breaking free of my parents’ control. I’m getting better. I just wish they could see that.”
Wei WuXian rubbed his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. Irritation still simmered under the surface, but he supposed that was better than hate. Irritation, because he related on some level to what this asshole was going through. He knew what it was like to be extremely toxic when you were younger only to see the light when you matured. Still, he’d rather walk in on his brother jerking off than admit he sympathized with Jin Zixuan.
Instead, he said, “Telling the person you want to marry she should abort a child she wants to keep isn’t really something you can forgive. It might take years before they can even stand to be in the same room as you.”
“I know,” Jin Zixuan replied, hanging his head. “The fact that you’re telling me this instead of beating the shit out of me is already progress, in my mind.”
Wei WuXian shrugged jerkily, before mumbling, “How about as a sign of my thanks for getting me this job, when you try to get back in my sister’s good graces and Jin Ling’s, I won’t try to stop it.”
The other man offered him a small, half smile and raised his eyes to finally look at him. “I suppose that’s more than I could have hoped for.”
“But if you hurt them,” Wei WuXian warned, jabbing a finger at him, “I’m impaling your corpse on a wooden stake and leaving it outside on the front lawn of Lanling Jin.”
Jin Zixuan rolled his eyes and took that as his cue to leave, brushing past him. Wei WuXian made no move to stop him, not even sparing him a look as he opened the door.
However, to his surprise, he halted in the doorway and glanced at him over his shoulder, saying softly, “I have many regrets, Wei WuXian. But I don’t regret asking my dad to hire you.”
The doctor did a double take, completely blind-sided. His mouth dropped open, but he could force any words out. What could he possibly say in response to that anyway?
But when Jin Zixuan did leave, he found himself slamming his fist against the wall in frustration, mumbling, “Fucking Jin Zixuan. Even when I come in here trying to be the bigger man, he somehow manages to be better than me.”
All too soon, summer was a distant memory, and the hands of winter held Lanling Jin in a vise grip, which meant Wei WuXian was constantly going to be looking for various ways of staying warm, no matter how strange they were. Sometimes that involved pressing himself up against the heater for hours. Sometimes that involved hanging out in Nie Mingjue’s lab where there always seemed to be a heat source going full blast and just sitting in front of it while the other man tripped over him and cursed his very existence.
However, this year, he had Lan WangJi, and thanks to Wei WuXian’s genius, his reactor core was always burning warmly, so much so that now he had his own, personal, mobile heater that never got angry when he pressed himself against it, or crawled under its sweater and stood there until he could feel his face again. In fact, his new heater quite seemed to enjoy this new form of closeness, if the constant pink of his forehead was any indication.
And that got Wei WuXian thinking…
Lan WangJi’s birthday was coming up, and he remembered the man saying many months ago that he missed being able to take baths. Full baths, where he could lounge in the tub with a bath bomb and everything, and the words broke Wei WuXian’s heart. So ever since then, he’d been hatching a plan to make it possible for him to experience such a thing again.
Which was why on the evening of his boyfriend’s birthday, without explanation, he handed him a blob of moldable silicone. Of course, Lan WangJi just stared at him flatly, his forehead a funny, annoyed green. Wei WuXian only offered him a teasing grin, before leaning in all conspiratorially and saying, “I have a surprise for you. But in order for you to get it, you’re going to need to strip and use that to plug up all the little cracks and crevices on your body. I’ll help if you need it.”
Lan WangJi raised an eyebrow, keeping the rest of his face completely still. Of course, this wasn’t the strangest thing Wei WuXian had asked him to do, so he just took the blob and did as he was told with a tolerant sigh.
After plugging up said crevices, the other man led him into one of the bathrooms where he was greeted by a tub had been filled with steaming water. Lan WangJi froze in the doorway, unsure what to make of such a thing, though deep down, he hoped it was what he thought it was. He turned his head to look at his partner, who was still standing next to him and beaming, and that was all the confirmation he needed.
Oh, what had he done to deserve such a wonderful man?
“I remember you told me ages ago that one of the things you miss about your old body is being able to take baths,” Wei WuXian explained, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. “So, I had that silicone put together for you, and I figured we can keep a supply of it so you can take a bath whenever you’d like. I know the cleaning cloth soaked in polish for metal isn’t nearly as fun or relaxing, is it?”
Lan WangJi stared at the tub, at a loss for words, his forehead flickering between aqua and yellow. Oh, the poor thing. Wei WuXian had to resist cooing at him. Things only got better when Wei WuXian pulled a bath bomb out from the pocket of his lab coat and held it up for him to see. Lo and behold, it was in the shape of a bunny.
“And I remember you said you loved these too!” he added cheerily. “There’s more where that came from! Just let me know what ones you’d like, they gave me a catalog when I bought a whole basket of these.”
Lan WangJi pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his nose into his shoulder, and Wei WuXian laughed, patting his shoulder, cooing, “Aw, Lan Zhan, you’re welcome. Anything for you. Hey, how about I let you have the honor of dropping it in?”
The other man did so, taking the bath bomb from him and dropping it into the tub, watching in fascination as it rainbow colors bled from it. He shook his head in wonder, saying, “I said I liked bath bombs once many months ago. I can’t believe you remembered…”
Wei WuXian laughed. “I know I seem really scatterbrained and like I’m not paying attention. But I always pay attention when it comes to you.” He leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Well, I’ll let you enjoy your bath.”
He saluted him, and turned around, starting to leave the bathroom, before Lan WangJi grabbed his arm and held him back, pleading, “No. Stay. You put the bath together. You bought the bath bombs. It’s only fair you share it with me.”
Wei WuXian pursed his lips, thinking it over for a moment, before he shrugged and turned back towards him. Really, he’d much rather spend the evening in a tub with his boyfriend than do more work anyway. “Alright, let me grab some wine.”
And that was how they ended up squished together in the tub, their hair tied up in loose buns with flyaway strands wisping around their temples. Wei WuXian sat between Lan WangJi’s legs, leaning against his chest, eyes closed. He held a glass of wine loosely, sipping at it lazily, before letting his arm hang over the rim of the tub. He tilted his head to the side, exposing the long line of his white neck, a clear invitation if Lan WangJi had ever seen one. He wrapped his arms around Wei WuXian’s waist and nuzzled his neck, delighting in how his loose strands of hair tickled his nose.
Wei WuXian observed in a low, even voice, “If I keep my eyes closed, I can pretend I’m a rich, middle-aged heiress instead of a dirty scientist in the middle of a lab where I know there’s jars of human organs lining this wall just on the other side.”
His partner hummed and kissed his neck, replied in a besotted tone, “You look like the most beautiful of heiresses.”
The other man snorted and sipped more of his wine. “You gonna be my trophy husband then?”
“I can if you want me to be.”
“Definitely doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I’d be hard pressed to find anyone else as amazing as you.”
His words gave Lan WangJi pause, before he slowly said, “You…wouldn’t mind being like this? For the rest of our lives?”
Wei WuXian shrugged nonchalantly and replied easily, “I’ve already gotten used to it. Besides, who knows? In time, things could change. We’ll have to come forward about you and Wen Ning to the public eventually. Someday…I hope you can live a normal life outside of this place.”
“But for now?”
“Yes, for now, I’m very happy.”
Lan WangJi mulled it over, pressing his lips against his skin, slow and unhurried. He certainly sounded like he meant what he was saying. He wouldn’t lie about something this important just for his comfort, would he? No, certainly not.
And well…he was sober now, so that had to mean…he meant what he was saying?
In that case, he had some work to do.
After their bath was over and they were in his room, dressing for bed, Lan WangJi tried to covertly text his brother, hunching over his phone as inconspicuously as he could manage. I have a favor to ask of you. It’s going to seem strange…
Less than a minute later, Lan XiChen responded, You once asked me to drive you to an animal shelter in the middle of the night because you found a litter of kittens in a public bathroom stall. I’ve learned not to question things when it comes to you.
Lan WangJi rolled his eyes. I promise you this is weirder than that.
How so?
It’s going to involve my old body.
It took a couple months for Lan XiChen to carry out Lan WangJi’s instructions, partially because, according to him, not many people requested things like this. And yes, Lan XiChen thought it was more than a bit strange, but he didn’t judge him, saying he understood the sentiment behind it. All he did was drop the box in his brother’s hands, wink at him and say, “Good luck. You’re going to have him eating out of your hands with this.”
He wanted this whole thing to be a surprise, and yet, he wanted a record of it. Hence why he also spoke to Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng, convincing them to sit in front of the security camera monitors that looked over Wei WuXian’s lab and record the event. Jiang Cheng had required a bribe made of sweets made by Lan WangJi, but Nie Huaisang on the other hand, required no such bribe, always happy to have front row seats to anything involving romance.
Now, the stage was set. No backing out. Lan WangJi entered the lab during one of Wei WuXian’s late nights of work, pausing at the threshold. He glanced up at the security camera one last time, seeing it shift so that it was focused more on him, and smiled to himself, before at last approaching him, taking a deep, nervous breath. The camera followed his movements with a mechanical whir.
“Wei Ying,” he said.
Wei WuXian put down what he was working at his bench and looked up before turning partway around in his seat, a smile already on his face as he greeted cheerily, “Hey there, handsome. Already done replacing your capsules?”
He could see the stressed green from his forehead glowing on the tiled floor. It was incredible; though he had no stomach, his brain was still telling him he felt nauseous, and he was so nervous he felt like he was going to jump out of his own skin. Still, he stayed committed, pressing on with, “Mn. However, it feels like something’s wrong with my left arm.”
“Oh really?” The other man pushed his goggles up on top of his head, swiveling fully around. “Alright, let’s check it out. Wrong like ‘connection issue’ or ‘something’s jammed’?”
“Something’s jammed,” Lan WangJi answered, pulling up a seat and sitting down in front of him. He held out his arm for him, and Wei WuXian took hold of his wrist, scooching forward and turning his desk lamp towards them so that it was illuminated. He then watched as he picked up a tiny screwdriver and used it to pop open the panel on his forearm, exposing the mess of wires that only made sense to his boyfriend.
After putting the screwdriver down, Wei WuXian picked up a pair of tweezers and began pushing the wires aside, saying, “I used to have this same problem with Wen Ning’s body. There was always this very specific bolt that would either break or come loose. Maybe that’s what this is. There must be a pressure point I forgot about…I’ll need to put in a request for a stronger material for the bolts maybe.”
The tension was unbearable. In the absence of a heart, Lan WangJi instead felt his chest tighten, and yet he could see his forehead throwing yellow light on Wei WuXian’s chest, the reflection moving up his neck as he tilted his head.
His excitement reached a crescendo, the artificial blood and fluid rushing through his head nearly deafening when Wei WuXian declared, “Aha! I see something! Let me just…pull it out”-
And the instant he lifted up his tweezers and held that delicate silver ring up between them, everything went blessedly quiet, and Lan WangJi felt like he could finally breathe for the first time all day.
Wei WuXian went stock still, his eyes very nearly popping out of his skull as he gaped at what exactly he was holding, as if he was waiting for it to disappear into mist, or for Lan WangJi to start laughing and say he was just kidding. But neither of those things happened, not even when he glanced stupidly between his boyfriend and the ring several times. Instead, Lan WangJi’s expression became fonder, his forehead glowing pink and he tilted his head further and rested it against his thumb, pointer and middle fingers.
Oh…Oh!
Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been dropping hints for quite a while now.
And up in the surveillance room, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, who didn’t know any specific details regarding Lan WangJi’s plan, reacted accordingly. Jiang Cheng facepalmed and shook his head, grumbling, “This is so fucking gross, I can’t. I will never understand you fucking romantic types. Huaisang, I’m going to need your bowl to vomit in.”
And Nie Huaisang, who was eating a hasty dinner, ignored him completely and paused with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, exclaiming, “Holy shit! Now that’s certainly something I didn’t see coming!”
He elbowed his friend. “Even you have to admit, that was pretty smooth, wasn’t it?”
“Of course it was!” Jiang Cheng burst out, throwing his hands up in the air. “As smooth as a baby’s ass! God, I can’t deal with this shit. Please stab me in the neck with those things, won’t you? It would hurt less.”
Nie Huaisang pinched his nose with his chopsticks before he went back to eating, focusing on the screen with rapt attention.
By now, Wei WuXian had come back to himself, and when he did, his face colored softly, and he felt a surge of affection rise up in him so swiftly he almost couldn’t breathe under the weight of it. He sighed and closed his eyes, not knowing if he was going to laugh or cry. Laugh, because this was so ridiculous and he knew he didn’t deserve someone like Lan WangJi wanting to tie themselves to him forever. Cry, because the stupid man was here sincerely popping the question anyway.
His heart wasn’t strong enough to handle something like the person he loved more than anything else in the world loving him back this much.
“Ah Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he muttered.
And then, without missing a beat, Wei WuXian leaned forward in his chair and murmured, “Yes,” before kissing the dumbest, most wonderful man on the planet.
When they pulled apart, Lan WangJi explained, “That ring is made out of the ashes of my old body.”
Wei WuXian ripped his gaze away from it, staring at the other man dazedly. “Seriously?”
“Yes. We had it cremated long ago. It felt wrong to bury it. My brother had my ashes, and I know it made him uncomfortable to keep them. I had been meaning to do something special with them, and figured…I know it seems strange, but hear me out. You gave me this new life, in this new body. I want you to have every part of me. So, I figured I would give you this. Proof that you saved my life to look at every day. Proof of how happy I am to be with you.”
At that, Wei WuXian, like the fool that he was, teared up and threw his arms around him, crying, “It probably speaks to how fucked up I am that I find this to be so sweet. Oh my God, Lan Zhaaaan I can’t, I just can’t, you’re going to make my heart give out.”
Lan WangJi just patted his back and kissed the side of his head.
Partners in stupidity forever now, he supposed.
Later that night, when they were lying in bed together, after Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang had congratulated them (the latter ecstatic over how beautiful the ring was and the former ecstatic over the fact that Wei WuXian wasn’t going to be his problem anymore), Wei WuXian couldn’t stop staring at his hand, holding it up and watching it glitter in the light of Lan WangJi’s body. He was still laughing like a fool, and Lan WangJi was sure his forehead was going to be permanently pink from here on out, his eyes fixed on his boyfriend’s delighted face.
“I hope you don’t expect me to sleep tonight,” Wei WuXian warned. “My God I’m going to be so tired tomorrow, but it’ll be worth it. I can’t believe it. I’m going to be a husband. Your husband. It’s a good thing I’m laying down because there’s still a real possibility of me fainting.”
Lan WangJi breathed a laugh through his nose and reached up to pushing his bangs out of his partner’s face. He felt the same; his body was humming with giddiness, and he knew he’d be lucky to calm down enough to sleep at all tonight too. He never thought in all his years he would ever be this happy, especially when he’d known nothing but pain and depression. And Wei WuXian had made this all possible.
Wei WuXian…
He could feel the smile slowly fading from his face. No, he could never stay too happy for long, could he? Because at that moment, a sobering thought that had been pricking the back of his mind for months made its way to the forefront. He didn’t want to worry about this right now, not when it brought down the mood so harshly. But he also knew it wouldn’t be fair to his partner to let things go any further without discussing this.
So, tentatively, Lan WangJi said, “Wei Ying…I’m sorry, but we need to talk about something. Something very important.”
Wei WuXian’s face grew serious when he heard how somber he sounded, and he put his hand down, giving him his full attention. “Okay? I’m listening.”
Lan WangJi took a deep breath, unable to decide which was harder: him proposing to the other man, or talking about this with him. “If we’re going to get married, we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.”
“Well, yes. That’s what I’m planning on,” Wei WuXian replied lightly.
“But for you and I, that’ll mean something different than it will for others.”
“How so?”
“I know I will die at some point. You told me as much that because I still have a human brain, eventually, that will happen. But you will die before I will.”
“Oh…well, yes. But that happens with many couples. It’s rarely like the Notebook.”
Lan WangJi scooted a little closer to him, before taking his hand. Wei WuXian squeezed it, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles, watching as his forehead flickered green and red. “I’ve been doing some research, and I saw that with the human body, it’s often the heart that gives out first. If left on its own, the brain can go on living for two hundred years. Even if you make it to a hundred, I would still have another hundred years without you.”
…Oh. So that’s where this was going. Wei WuXian didn’t like it, didn’t like how distressed he sounded, or how his eyebrows had furrowed, or how tightly he was squeezing his hand, as if he could already feel Wei WuXian drifting away from him. Heart pounding uncomfortably hard, Wei WuXian hastily assured him, “But you would have Sizhui, and whatever family he has. You would have their grandchildren, Jin Ling’s grandchildren…you’d have lots of people to keep you company after I go.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan WangJi murmured. He slowly lifted his gaze so that he was looking the other man straight in the eye, and Wei WuXian nearly cried at how desperately anguished he looked when he whispered, “I’m not strong enough to survive in a world without you in it. Not for that long.”
Wei WuXian averted his eyes, feeling shaky and weak in the wake of his words. He wanted to scream, wanted to keep reassuring the other man that everything would work out somehow, that he didn’t…didn’t deserve that kind of devotion. But he also knew he couldn’t control his partner’s heart. All he could do was sit there, listen, and try to keep his eyes from stinging.
“I’ve thought long and hard about this. When you die, I’m going to ask to have my brain stem severed and my body shut down.”
Wei WuXian flinched, and when he spoke again, his voice shook. “Lan Zhan…”
Lan WangJi didn’t hesitate to pull him into an embrace, placing a hand on the back of his head. Wei WuXian nuzzled his way into his shoulder, the two of them holding each other like a storm was a raging around them and they were each other’s rock. Wei WuXian gulped down several trembling breaths, squeezing his eyes shut and keeping his face firmly hidden from his partner. Lan WangJi also shut his eyes, his brows pinching with pain, and he turned his head, burying his nose in Wei WuXian’s hair.
“You’re my everything,” the other man said hoarsely. “You’re the reason I’m alive. It’s only fair that I follow you into death, whenever that day comes.”
It took Wei WuXian several minutes to regain control of his emotions, several minutes of holding onto the other man in a vise grip to reassure himself that he wasn’t going to slip through his fingers. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn’t have the strength to care. Because the sad part was there was nothing he could say to talk Lan WangJi out of this decision, not with how stubborn as he was. So, once he felt he had enough of a grasp on his sanity to speak, he finally said slowly, “Okay. I’ll have to make sure to live as long as I can then.”
Lan WangJi sighed in relief, and kissed his temple, before just sitting there with him for several more moments, breathing him in and listening to the blood rushing through his veins. His heartbeat. All signs that he was healthy and alive and not going anywhere right now.
Finally, when he felt calm enough, Wei WuXian pulled out of the embrace and forced a smile on his face, clearing his throat and saying happily, “Well, now that’s out of the way, how about we start planning the wedding? We should be more focused on the start of the rest of our lives! Death is a long way away for both of us for now.”
Lan WangJi really liked the sound of that. The yellow and pink returned to his forehead as if it had never left in the first place, and he offered Wei WuXian the warmest of smiles in response.
“Mn.”
Notes:
And here it is guys, the last chapter before a nice big timeskip, and our final arc for this fic! I hope you guys are ready! Get some tissues ehehehe.
You can find the full comic for the proposal scene here! https://joshua-beeking.tumblr.com/post/641728579739287552/cyborglwj-may-be-all-hard-edges-in-his-new-body
Chapter 31: Progression
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ten Years Later
“Lan Sizhui.”
Cheers rose up from the auditorium, both from his friends but mostly his family, as he walked across the stage to receive his doctorate in biological robotic engineering. He snuck a quick glance at them. Lan XiChen was sitting next to Jiang Yanli, the former holding up his phone in a way that indicated he was recording. She was patting Jiang Cheng’s forearm, encouraging him to clap even harder. He did so with a roll of his eyes. Lan Jingyi was on Lan XiChen’s other side, and the loudest cheering was coming from him, his cousin, now a fully licensed physiotherapist, practically leaping out of his seat. Nie Huaisang tugged him down by the back of his shirt, and Mo Xuanyu, who watched the both of them, snorted in amusement.
The doctorate program had been through Lanling Jin. So, Jin Zixuan was there, acting on his father’s behalf. He held Lan Sizhui’s doctorate, and after a nod of acknowledgement, he handed it to Wei WuXian. The scientist positively beamed, all but hopping around in place. When Lan Sizhui approached, he handed the degree over, and then held out his hand for him to shake. But the younger man bypassed that and pulled him into a tight hug. Wei WuXian laughed and wheezed, “My God, look at you, you do have your dad’s arm strength.”
Lan Sizhui was practically crying, unwilling to let go. “Thank you. I know you were busy, and I know I asked you to be here last minute, but…”
“Of course I had to be here,” Wei WuXian told him, patting his back. “Nothing I have to do in that lab is more important than handing you your diploma tonight.”
After him, Jin Ling’s name was called, and once again, Wei WuXian handed him his degree, though this time, he burst into tears, blubbering, “I can’t believe it, you’re all grown up, the little toddler who used to shove cereal in his nose is getting his doctorate in pharmaceuticals and business, I can’t believe this.”
Jin Ling hissed, “Uncle! Not here!”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Jin Zixuan added, giving Wei WuXian’s rear a tap with his foot just hard enough for him to yip and focus his attention on him so Jin Ling could scurry away.
“That’s my boy!” Nie Huaisang whooped from the audience. Needless to say, he had done more than his fair share of turning Wei WuXian’s nephew into a civilized human being while he studied under him. Jin Ling just ran away faster, hating how many uncles and honorary uncles he had in that moment.
Once the ceremony was over, the two young men were rushed by their families in the front foyer of Lanling Jin, each of them being kissed and fussed over by their loved ones. Jin Ling was practically squeezed to death by his mother, the former only tolerating it because it was his mother. She let him go after a minute, only for him to be pulled into Wei WuXian’s arms. Except, he was already holding Lan Sizhui in his other arm, so the two of them practically had their faces pressed together as he squeezed them, shouting, “I’m so proud of both of you! My boys, my beautiful boys, I can’t believe this day has finally come!”
Lan Sizhui teased, “You’re just happy you’re going to have more people to boss around all day.”
Jin Ling said indignantly, “He can’t boss us around! We’re adults with doctorates now!”
Wei WuXian pinched his cheek, causing his nephew to yelp as he told him, “Hey, hey, even when you’re thirty, I’ll still be able to drag you out by your ears and throw you out in the dumpster out back.”
“Yeah and if he doesn’t I will,” Jiang Cheng added, coming up behind them and tugging on the boy’s ear.
“Fuck both of you!”
When he was finally released, Lan Jingyi took his turn to hug Lan Sizhui and said, “This is so exciting! Now we’ll really be able to work together. Your dad is going to be so happy!”
Lan XiChen popped up behind him, waving his phone. “I recorded you walking across the stage to show him.”
“Oh my God, dad!” he gasped, leaping away from both of them. He held up his hands in apology, and backed up. “I gotta go back! Uncle, come with me, we have to show him, come on!”
Wei WuXian, who was watching them, shook his head fondly as they raced off into the depths of the building. But for the moment, he didn’t follow, deciding to stay with his nephew a bit longer and to give them time to be alone.
It was probably an hour later before Jin Ling was whining about being tired and wanting to go home, and Wei WuXian bid him and the rest of his family goodbye, waving to them from the foyer and watching them disappear through front doors. Once they were gone, he made his way back towards Lan WangJi’s room. He arrived in his lab in time to see Lan Sizhui hugging his dad on the couch while Lan XiChen sat on the arm of it, watching them fondly. When they heard his footsteps, they all looked up.
Lan XiChen offered him an understanding smile, glancing between him and Lan WangJi, before patting his nephew’s shoulder and saying, “Well, shall we get going? It’s getting late.”
Lan Sizhui pulled out of his dad’s arms. “Ahhh, yes! Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was! Alright, we’ll get going and leave you two.” He got up from the couch and passed Wei WuXian, practically squealing, “I’ll see you Monday, bright and early!”
“You better be ready to work,” Wei WuXian said with mock seriousness, folding his arms. “I won’t go easy on you, you know.”
Lan Sizhui gave him a meaningful smile, coming over to stand in front of him, before he said with gentle intensity, “I know. I won’t let you down. Thank you again, dad.”
The scientist’s eyes immediately filled with tears, and he covered his mouth with his hand. Lan Sizhui said that last part so quietly only he could hear it. This wasn’t the first time he had called Wei WuXian “dad,” but he didn’t think he would ever get used to it. The first time it happened, Lan Sizhui felt embarrassed, as if it had been a slip of the tongue, but Wei WuXian immediately reassured him it was okay, that he didn’t mind being called such a thing, but he didn’t want him to feel like he had to. But to Wei WuXian’s absolute delight, Lan Sizhui said that he wanted to.
“It feels right,” the boy had told him. “I don’t know. I like saying it. You’ve done nothing that wouldn’t warrant me calling you dad. You act like one.”
It was a miracle his heart didn’t give out from such words.
Once they left, Wei WuXian turned around, saying to the man on the couch, “I can’t believe he’s already all grown up. I’m so proud of him.”
Lan WangJi offered him a small, warm smile, before disappearing into his room and shutting the door behind him, presumably to get changed for bed, considering it was already long past his usual bed time. Though his voice still carried from the other side as he replied, “Me too. More than words can say. It’s thanks to you he’s where he is today.”
Wei WuXian sputtered, “Lan Zhan! That’s- but”-
“It’s true. I’m very grateful. Perhaps… there’s a way I can thank you? If you’re not too tired?”
Sensing he was teasing, he replied back, “Oh? What if I am? More importantly, what about you being too tired? You’re not as young as you used to be anymore.”
A few moments later, the door opened back up, but Lan WangJi wasn’t in his sleeping pants. No, instead he seemed bent on giving his husband a heart attack, deciding to shock him with lingerie that was equal parts lace and straps with a few white flowers woven into them. It looked like something a bride might wear on her wedding night. He looked slowly up at Wei WuXian before saying demurely, “Then I put all this on for nothing.”
Wei WuXian wheezed, slapping a hand to his chest. However, he began to feel lightheaded when the other man leaned against the doorframe, cocking his hip, before extending one of his legs and stroking his thigh, revealing the garter belt he was wearing. His eyes were heavy lidded, and his movements were very slow and purposeful, his golden eyes practically searing everywhere they fell on Wei WuXian.
He played along, giving Lan WangJi a look, before he started stripping off his lab coat and unbuttoning his shirt all over the top and flamboyant, flipping his hair dramatically before he said, “Oh Lan WangJi, you know I’m not as young as I used to be either.”
“With the way you blow out my back, I’d never know.”
“Listen to you! Alright then, let’s see if we can make some of your screws in your lower back pop loose again. That’s how I know I’ve done a good job.”
Lan WangJi laughed and when Wei WuXian trotted over to him, he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his room, his husband shutting the door behind them with a maniacal laugh.
After he felt he had thanked him properly, the two of them laid together side by side, panting, sweat glistening on Wei WuXian’s skin, the two of them holding hands to ground each other. Wei WuXian let his eyes slide shut, and slowly, coherent thought began to filter in through again. And strangely, the only thoughts that were entering his mind were musings over his married life with Lan WangJi.
Overall, the marriage had been lovely, but not in the way Wei WuXian expected. It didn’t cure all of his life’s problems. It didn’t change his life. But it enhanced it in a way that made it all worthwhile. Their wedding itself had been held here at Lanling Jin. It wasn’t that big, didn’t have that many people. Their immediate family and friends were there, even Lan Qiren graced the wedding with his presence.
Lan WangJi was the one who had called him to tell him. All this time, the uncle who raised him had just been told by Lan XiChen that his brother was alive and doing well, but for legal reasons, Lan Qiren couldn’t see him. It frustrated their uncle, he knew. And he could hear him choking up on the phone when he heard his voice.
Lan XiChen had kept him updated on Lan WangJi’s life, or at least, the parts he could disclose. Namely, the developing relationship between him and Wei WuXian. So, when he was told that his nephew was getting married, he wasn’t surprised. He just kind of sighed and said, “I’m just happy you settled down with a doctor. Now you have a solid retirement plan.”
Sadly, other than that, he could tell his uncle wasn’t very fond of Wei WuXian, considering the work he did. He always lectured Lan WangJi that it was going to come back and bite him someday. But all it took to shut him up was to remind him that he made six figures, and Lan Qiren would dissolve into grumbling.
Of course, for their first dance, Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian gently swayed to Then You Look At Me, and though overall it was very sweet and romantic, Wei WuXian had to be Wei WuXian, and he couldn’t stop laughing through most of it because of the butterflies in his stomach. In order to hide it, he smushed his face in his shoulder, trying as hard as he could to keep his shoulders from shaking. Lan WangJi helped by joining in the laughter, though his was much quieter, and he set his chin on his partner’s shoulder, singing softly in his ear. However, that only succeeded in turning the laughter into tears.
Meanwhile, when everyone turned their backs, Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi got into the alcohol and a couple hours later, they were found arguing while trying to escape the building with the chocolate fountain, Lan Sizhui following behind trying desperately to get it back from them. However, that was only the start of the bad decisions that were caused by alcohol that day. Jiang Cheng also got drunk and got into a very enthusiastic dance off with Nie Mingjue and Lan XiChen that ended with Nie Mingjue and Lan XiChen trying to pole dance with more and more clothes gradually coming off. Jiang Cheng at one point had fallen off said pole and just laid there on the ground, unable to find the energy to do anything but sit there and complain about the fact that he couldn’t get up.
When Wei WuXian visited the bathroom later in the night, he ended up freezing in the middle of the floor when he saw only one set of feet under the stall door despite hearing two voices and a whisper of, “Huaisang, no, not there, ah~! He’ll hear!” before he noped the fuck out of there.
Overall, nothing had occurred that Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian didn’t expect, and he was happy to spend the day with all these friends they both had made. Mo Xuanyu especially seemed to be happy to be included in such an event, and Wei WuXian’s heart nearly melted when he heard him murmur to Nie Huaisang at one point, “I’ve never had enough friends to be invited to many things like this.”
Most of all, now, Wei WuXian had to say his favorite part of being married was having someone to come home to and someone to take care of. Home had long since ceased being his apartment, though he still had it. Instead, he spent most of his time here in the lab, having moved practically all of his stuff in Lan WangJi’s room. Truly, he was happy, and he knew Lan WangJi was too.
Though he also knew, deep down, that his husband could be happier.
Sneaking him out of Lanling Jin on dates with disguises could only placate him for so long. And though Lan WangJi would smile and his forehead would be yellow when they’d go out, Wei WuXian would see the light leave his eyes for the briefest of moments, or his forehead flash blue when he thought he wasn’t looking. And that just couldn’t stand. For years, Wei WuXian had been promising him they would take steps integrate him and Wen Ning back into the world. And the first step to that process was trying to convince Jin Guangshan to hold a conference. But of course, Jin Guangshan had a million excuses as to why the conference couldn’t happen this year or the next, and Wei WuXian was beginning to get sick of it.
While he worked on that, he also busied himself by working on upgrades for Lan WangJi and Wen Ning. Slowly but surely, he was giving them both a working digestive system from start to finish. None of it had been installed yet, but it was getting there. A possible beating heart. Other organs to make them feel more…human. Baby steps, Wei WuXian told himself. He was going to take care of them both.
He had also worked on a couple of military projects. Though he hadn’t really wanted to, as he wanted to use his technology to be used for help and not harm, but they had lured him in with the promise that his artificial limbs would be used to help those that had lost theirs in combat. However, the moment the idea of bullet proof soldiers and limbs allowing one to be much stronger became apparent, he left with more than a few choice words to those that had manipulated him. And so far, he’d been trying to dodge them to avoid making anymore. He didn’t want to drop any hints as to what Lanling Jin had been getting up to yet.
However, Lanling Jin was doing everything it could to keep all of his work under wraps. And the harder they worked to do so, the more curious local media outlets seemed to become, all of them bent on pulling back the curtain. It started off slow, one or two reporters trying to sneak in through the front doors. However, as time went on, they became bolder, going from one or two tries a year to one or two a month, as well as more stories on the news speculating on what could possibly be happening behind those closed shades in the windows.
The other dog biting at Wei WuXian’s ass due to the media frenzy was their investors. It made things even more complicated and the data compiled from the upgrades took a long while to be analyzed. Not only that, but the upgraded new bodies they were working on also took a lot of improvement from all the data they collected from both Wen Ning and Lan WangJi. So since investors wanted a fool proof project, they made damn sure no errors were going to crop up. Needless to say, he felt like he was going to go nuts just keeping people away from his classified files.
Thankfully, everything else was still status quo. Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue were still at Lanling Jin, deciding as long as they were needed, they would stay. Mo Xuanyu was still rollicking through life as best as he was able. Oh, he had his ups and downs to be sure, with good years and not so good ones. Realistically, he felt like he shouldn’t have lasted this long, considering.
Soon after Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi got married, the cancer had started to act up again, bad enough to scare Mo Xuanyu into trying one final experimental drug to see if it would shrink the tumor to be operable. And for a while, it seemed to work. He’d been feeling healthier than he could remember being. Enough for him to become complacent and think the worst of his troubles were over.
Enough for him to start thinking of dangerous things, especially when he looked at Nie Huaisang for too long.
However, lately, the drug hadn’t been doing the job. It started off gradually. A slight increase in size there, a few more bad days there. Nothing that couldn’t be chalked up to the pitfalls of a normal day with cancer. However, over time those bad days began to increase, and it became harder to count how many good days he would have in a week. He knew it was especially bad when Nie Huaisang’s smiles became faker and harder to force. One time he even heard him talking to Wei WuXian, whispering something like, “I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t- he’s- this can’t happen, we’ve been so happy.”
And oh, if that didn’t shatter Mo Xuanyu’s heart and make him regret every decision he’d ever made to bring him to this point. Especially when it was through Nie Huaisang’s insurance that this was all possible in the first place. It made him feel like he’d failed his lover when he should have been the one to take care of him, to make all of Mo Xuanyu’s problems go away. It just…it wasn’t-
This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go. Everyone else was getting their happy ending. Why couldn’t they?
Mo Xuanyu didn’t want to lose hope. But he didn’t see how he had a choice. Yet, when he tried to draw away from his friends to spare them the pain, they just drew him back in. Nie Huaisang held him against him while Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng shook their heads in disbelief, the former going, “What, you think we’d abandon you now when you need it the most? If anything, we’re going to double down harder.”
“We’re not letting it end like this,” Jiang Cheng insisted.
Oh, damn the both of them. They stoked that dangerous, hopeful flame in Mo Xuanyu again, and it wasn’t fair. He hid his face in Nie Huaisang’s chest, hating them.
But Wei WuXian meant what he said. Granted, it was Jin Guangshan’s idea, but finally, it was one he was eager to jump on.
“Another cyborg body?” Lan WangJi echoed as Wei WuXian explained it to him. “For Mo Xuanyu?”
Wei WuXian nodded, shuffling closer to him on the couch. He shook his head, exhaling on a trembling breath. Lan WangJi knew that look. He pulled him closer with one arm around his shoulder, letting him lean against him.
“It’s his last hope,” Wei WuXian added. “But…I don’t”-
“You don’t what?”
“Lan Zhan…do you think I can do it again?”
“Do what?”
“Work another miracle?”
“You know I think you can,” Lan WangJi answered without hesitation, adding a smile that just about melted Wei WuXian’s heart. “But now, you’ll have Sizhui with you. There’s no way you can fail. And with the two of you working on it together, I don’t think there’s any worry that you two will finish the project on time.”
Wei WuXian smiled back, asking even though he already knew the answer, “And you and Wen Ning will be there for him to help him adjust after?”
He nodded. “The same way you were there for me.”
Wei WuXian pressed tightly against him, hiding his face in his neck and wrapping his arms around him, feeling better about himself. It was incredible. Lan WangJi’s uncanny ability to make him feel better no matter what had not diminished in the slightest. If anything, he’d gotten better at it. He considered it one of his greatest superpowers, and though Lan WangJi denied it, Wei WuXian insisted. After all, it was no small feat getting someone as scatterbrained or with such low self esteem to admit that they had even a shred of talent.
And now, whenever he doubted himself, all he had to do was look at the ring on his finger and be reminded that there was someone who believed he could accomplish anything, and loved him even when there were days he couldn’t.
No one was paying him any attention. He had made sure of that, making himself as inconspicuous as possible. He was in a tour group in the middle of the day. There was less security as a result.
That was the part that interested him the most. It was the reason he was here, out of any other day.
When they passed a certain hallway, he saw his opportunity, drifting to the back of the group and slipping away down it when no one was paying attention. He kept tight to the walls, to the shadowy corners where he wouldn’t be noticed.
Waiting.
A tiny camera slipped down his sleeve, the lens poking out, and he pressed the record button at the top.
At first, nothing passed by him, except for a scientist or two. He thought about following them for a moment, hoping they could lead him to something interesting, something worth bringing back. But he decided against it.
And when he walked down the hallway, he was glad he had.
For there he was. The rumors circulating around his workplace were true. There was the glowing light on his forehead, the LEDs in the shape of clouds on his chest glowing even through his shirt. He walked steadily, as if he had nothing to fear, as if he had walked down this hallway many times without incident before. He didn’t even pay him any mind, staring straight ahead before turning down the end of the hallway and disappearing.
Oh yes. This was exactly what his boss wanted. It was more than he could have ever hoped for.
He clicked the camera off.
Notes:
So....the easy happy times are over with now xDDD But enjoy pinup LWJ to help ease the pain? :'D
Joshua says: " I GOT MARRIED THIS WEEKEND FOLKS, I think Caro got definitely influenced by the marriage energy coming from my side ohohohoh. Hope you enjoy the progress and the absolutely nerve-wrecking ending, because we enjoy feeding on your tears and stress. Also if you are interested to buy what LWJ is wearing, There is a twitter account for them where you can order them, custom made. I found them lovely and of course LWJ is a fantastic muse :'D "
Chapter 32: Mad World
Notes:
We wanna scream our pain
And break away from the dark
Caught in this wicked game
We know that nothing stays the same
'Cause we're living in a mad world
We're living in a mad world - Mad World, Within Temptation
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Three days later, as Wei WuXian arrived to work, he immediately knew something was up. Maybe the air felt more oppressive, or maybe the sky seemed darker. But more than likely, it was the fact that as he made the journey towards his lab, he felt like everyone was giving him strange, suspicious looks. Some were outright glaring at him, leaving him bewildered.
He didn’t even make it to his lab before he came across Wen Qing. He called her over, and she immediately approached looking at him like she knew what he was going to ask before he even asked it.
“Do you know why everyone is looking at me like I committed a murder?”
She blinked. Apparently, that had not in fact been what she was expecting. “Oh my God, have you not seen the news?”
“No? I mean, I don’t tend to watch it?”
She eyed him critically, gauging whether or not he was being genuine. However, her suspicions were cleared when he asked in a voice that seemed too confused to be faked, “Wen Qing? What’s going on?”
She opened her mouth, but before she could answer, they heard footsteps coming down the hall. When they turned their heads in their direction, they saw it was Jin Zixun, and he looked furious. However, the minute he saw Wei WuXian narrow his eyes at him, he wisely halted a few feet away, demanding, “Wei WuXian! Jin Guangshan wants you in his office. Now.”
Stunned, he glanced at Wen Qing, who sighed and patted his shoulder, saying, “Just do what he says."
Oh boy. Now Wei WuXian was really nervous. He took a deep breath, and followed him. With every step, he could feel his heart hammering a little harder. He hated that the whole situation reminded him of when he was a child and he was in trouble with his mother but never had any idea what he was in trouble for because she refused to explain it. He had to fight the rising panic and the desire to start defending himself, knowing both would be useless, especially since he had no idea what he even did. However, that control snapped when he arrived in Jin Guangshan’s office, the door was shut behind him, and he saw several other higher ups in the Jin family, people he had only met a couple times, sitting around his desk, their expressions stern. Jin Zixuan, of course, was among them, and he his eyes were averted, fixed pointedly on the floor.
Jin Guangshan gestured towards an empty chair in front of his desk and said to Wei WuXian, “Sit down.”
Wei WuXian didn’t hesitate; he all but scurried to the chair and did as he was told, nausea rising in his stomach. It was so quiet that all he could hear was the ticking of the clock on the wall. Jin Guangshan didn’t say a word. He just turned his computer around, revealing a paused news clip titled The Inside of Lanling Jin Exposed: Is the Famous Robotics Institute Creating a New Race of Artificial Humans? Then, with a deep frown, he pressed play.
Wei WuXian’s stomach nearly dropped down through the floor when he registered what he was watching. The segment featured Lan WangJi walking down the hallway from the point of view of someone who was clearly hiding, while the reporter speculated what this could mean for Lanling Jin. They were asking questions such as why were they hiding this technology, what did this mean for the rest of the world, are they creating a new race of humans and is the general public safe.
“Needless to say,” the reporter finished, “the world is going to be keeping a close eye on how Lanling Jin plans to respond to these accusations.”
The clip ended and the screen went black. Wei WuXian didn’t have to look into a mirror to know he was as white as a sheet; he could feel all the blood draining from his face. He didn’t realize he was gripping the chair so hard he could feel his nails aching from how far back they were being pushed into his fingers.
Jin Guangshan folded his hands on the desk in front of him and demanded, “You’re going to tell me everything you know about this.”
It took everything in Wei WuXian to make sure that a sob wasn’t the first thing out of his mouth when he replied to him. Still, he couldn’t hide the horror in his voice when he exclaimed, “Nothing, I swear! I didn't see anything about this until just now! What do you know about it? What’s going on?”
“Don’t play dumb!” Jin Zixun snapped. “You took this footage and then sold it to the news, didn’t you? We were taking too long to reveal your projects to the world, so you wanted to take the initiative and get all the glory for yourself!"
Wei WuXian’s head jerked over in his direction, his eyes rimmed in red, before he leapt to his feet so abruptly, his chair nearly toppled over. “What the fuck!? No I didn’t! How can you even say that? I’ve been loyal to Lanling Jin for over a decade, I would never do such a thing!”
“Loyalties can change at any time,” Jin Guangshan said. “Money is the most persuasive of negotiators.”
“Are you kidding me? Do you even hear yourselves? I”-
Jin Zixuan interrupted him by hissing, “Wei WuXian! Don’t say something you’ll regret!”
“You shut your mouth!” Wei WuXian yelled, rounding on him. “I don’t want to hear a single thing out of you!”
“Are you sure? Because I was about to defend you.”
Well, now that certainly took him aback. Wei WuXian shut right up, his teeth clacking from how abruptly he clamped his lips shut just in time for all the Jins to turn their heads towards Jin Zixuan.
“Zixuan…” Jin Guangshan warned.
But Jin Zixuan was done bending the knee to him. He plowed on with, “You’re right, father. People can find reasons to change their loyalties, but Wei WuXian isn’t one of those people. In the past, he gave up his own goals out of loyalty to his sister. Despite the bad blood between him and his parents, he swore he’d always remain loyal to Jiang Wanyin, and so he has. When I saw that loyalty, I knew we could use it here at our company. I wouldn’t have suggested him to you if I didn't think he'd be a valuable asset. Besides, why would he wait ten years to leak this information instead of doing so the minute Wen Ning and Lan WangJi were given life? How would it benefit him? There would be the money, yes, but why risk his reputation like that? Not to mention, anyone can see he has a close bond with both Wen Ning and Lan WangJi. Not only would he be putting them in danger, but he had to know we might separate them. The risks outweigh the benefits by far.”
Everyone was stunned into silence by his passionate defense, Wei WuXian included. However, he couldn’t be sure that he could trust what Jin Zixuan was saying. But since the other man was the only one sticking up for him, he wasn’t not going to argue. He pressed his lips into a thin line and let out a slow breath through his nose, trying not to show how awkward he felt.
Off to the side, Jin Guangshan sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He took several deep breaths, getting ahold of himself, before he finally said, “Well, either way, we’re going to have to hold a press conference to do damage control. The sooner the better. I’ll get in contact with the media to arrange something.” He looked up at Wei WuXian. “Be ready at a moment’s notice. And I’m thinking we’re going to want Lan WangJi there too.”
Wei WuXian swallowed hard, a sinking feeling developing in the pit of his stomach. In spite of that, he knew they didn’t have a choice. So, he bowed, offered a nod to Jin Zixuan, and left the office.
He hardly realized he was clenching his jaw so hard that it ached, or that his eyes were stinging with the threat of tears.
Despite his trepidation, Lan WangJi took the news better than he thought when he revealed it to him later that morning. He was nervous, of course, his forehead lighting up green and his hands balling into fists, but not for himself. Especially when Wei WuXian told him, “You don’t need to worry. You probably won’t receive any backlash. Everyone will see you as the victim. I’ll be the one they go after."
He narrowed his eyes, his forehead flickering red, his voice growing serious as he added, “I’m not letting anything happen to you. I don’t care if I have to fight my way through the lot of them. I’ll flatten them all if they try hurting you.”
Wei WuXian laughed, “Okay, okay, if you say so, Lan Zhan. But I wouldn’t recommend it. We want you to put forth a good public image. It’s vital if you want to live in the outside world someday. You have to show people that you’re not a threat.”
Lan WangJi pressed his mouth into a thin line. He didn’t like the sound of that at all, but at the moment he had no choice but to concede.
The day of the conference arrived far sooner than anyone wanted, and naturally, everyone was nervous as hell. Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi in particular stuck very close together, almost no space between their bodies as they sat together, Wie WuXian bouncing his leg and keeping his eyes locked firmly on the floor between his feet. Lan WangJi kept a comforting arm around his partner’s waist, a firm anchor that kept them both grounded. Jin Guangshan was there too of course, pacing back and forth while they waited to be called out on stage, as well as other members of the Jin family, like Jin Zixuan. Wen Qing was there, and so was Nie Mingjue, the two of them keeping an eye on the two of them. Wei WuXian knew that they were inviting all of the main people that had worked on developing Lan WangJi, but it was still surreal to see them there.
When someone came out from the front and said, “Lanling Jin? It’s time,” Wei WuXian nearly fainted. He let out a quiet whimper that only Lan WangJi heard.
His husband gave his waist a squeeze, and said, “I’ll be with you the entire time. No matter what they say, you know the truth.”
Wei WuXian didn’t reply, and that more than anything told him how stressed he was. Lan WangJi sighed, and helped him to his feet, keeping a firm grip on his hand.
They remained like that when they walked out on stage and sat in seats next to each other. They hardly heard Jin Guangshan as he called the conference to start. All they could concentrate on was that the room was full of reporters, all of them with cameras shining in their faces. Wei Wuxian was trembling, the chair practically rattling underneath him, despite the intense heat radiating from his face. Under the table where no one could see, Lan WangJi squeezed his hand, keeping it on top of his thigh.
Through the haze, Wei WuXian got the vague sense that Jin Guangshan was explaining Lanling Jin’s mission of giving people a second chance at life by bringing them back from the brink of death and making this sort of technology available for the public someday so they could save as many lives as possible. He only tuned in when one of the reporters asked their first question.
“Then why wait so long to make the technology public?” the man asked.
“To perfect it,” Jin Guangshan answered automatically. “We would hate to give people hope only to snatch it away again.”
“How does the technology work?” another reporter wanted to know.
Jin Guangshan gestured to Wei WuXian, and again, the scientist had the vague idea that he was being introduced, but he was once again blinded and deafened by fear, his senses replaced by whiteness and a ringing in his ears. When it went silent, he realized that he had been given the floor to speak, and his throat dried up, his shaking increasing immensely. But again, Lan WangJi saved him by squeezing his hand and offering him an encouraging nod. Wei WuXian let out a shaky sigh, and somehow found the courage to speak.
“What Lan WangJi has is essentially a large prosthetic,” he explained, keeping his eyes firmly on the other man. “It protects a human brain, and a few major nerves. But everything else is artificial. It’s fashioned to function the exact same way as a normal human body. At least, to within our capabilities. We’re in the process of making upgrades. Figuring out how to replicate digestive systems, hearts, and other organs. Every upgrade we come up with test on Lan WangJi, and every upgrade is another step towards helping the public someday.”
One woman asked, “What qualified Lan WangJi for the surgery?”
“He suffered from severe RA, and his condition was compounded when he got into a car accident. Without it, he would have died.”
“Have you stopped to think that might have been best?” the same woman wanted to know.
Wei WuXian did a double take. “I’m sorry?”
“Sometimes it’s just best to let nature take its course. Not everyone can be saved. Do you think there will be ethical issues with you essentially playing God?”
“I-I’m sure there will be some who feel that way. But I know there will be others like LWJ who weren’t ready to die. He had a family, a son, to take care of. They weren’t ready to lose him, and they were happy to have him back. And that’s not to say that having this kind of body makes one immortal, because that’s not the case.”
“But you would be playing God by deciding who lives and who dies?”
“Hopefully we’ll have the technology available in large enough quantities that that won’t be the case.”
“But until then?”
“I suppose that would be the case.”
There were some shocked murmurs in the crowd, and the cameras all went off in a large cacophony. Wei WuXian flinched, blinking against the bright lights, resisting the urge to hide his face.
A different reporter asked. “What do you believe gives you the right to do that?”
“Well”-
“How would you decide who’s worthy of saving and who isn’t?” someone else interrupted. “Do you not see all human life as equal?”
“Wei WuXian, we have heard of the difficult familial situation with the Jiang family. What are their thoughts on this matter?"
“Watch your mouth,” Nie Mingjue snapped, glaring down at the reporter who asked that question. Said reporter flinched and cowered, rightfully so, considering he was less than half the size of the engineer.
Wen Qing added more diplomatically, “Let’s stay on track, shall we? Those sorts of questions are irrelevant and inappropriate.”
There was a pause as the reporters regrouped and gathered themselves, before one was brave enough to ask, “Alright, what made Lan WangJi so special? What made you decide to save him and not someone else?”
“Well,” Wei WuXian said, “We felt he was the most qualified based on his history and what his family told us about him. We have to be very careful in who we select as a candidate considering we only get one shot at the surgery and the actual bodies we build are very expensive.”
“Lan WangJi, are they holding you against your will? Tell us what other unethical, questionable things this doctor has done to you or anyone else?”
Wei WuXian stared at the reporter, his mouth agape in shock. “I- what? He’s not”-
“I wasn’t speaking to you,” the reporter insisted, turning his gaze back onto Lan WangJi, face a mask of fake sympathy.
Lan WangJi glanced beside him to see that his partner was shrinking further into his seat, looking like it was taking everything in him not to get up out of his seat and flee backstage. But what really got him was the fact that Wei WuXian’s face was flushed red and upon looking closer, he could see there were tears lining his waterline.
And that was the last straw.
Lan WangJi slammed his hands on the table and stood up so abruptly, his chair tipped over, all semblance of decorum gone. His forehead was red, blaring with fury, and his eyes were two chips of blazing amber as he glared at the crowd. He growled, “Wei Ying has never done anything to me against my will. He never would.”
The reporters jumped, taken completely off guard. However, one was brave enough to stand her ground and query, “How can you be sure? Do you need someone here to call the police for you?”
“I trust him with my life,” Lan WangJi said with utter seriousness. “He’s the most important person in the world to me.”
Then, with everyone’s attention fixed on him, he held up his hand, revealing his wedding ring. There were gasps and murmurs, several people saying, “He married him? The doctor married his patient?” and the clicks of dozens of cameras as they all took pictures. He kept his hard gaze on all of them, completely unapologetic.
Wei WuXian was staring at him with wide eyes, and he swore his heart nearly jumped out of his throat. Briefly, he looked down the table, and saw that the Jins were all white with shock. Jin Guangshan in particular was turning both white and red with rage and horror. Jin Zixun had just about leapt onto the table, and Jin Zixuan interestingly enough didn’t really look surprised, but very concerned.
This admission of course kicked off a whole new round of questioning and a veritable frenzy of reporters trying to rush the stage. Jin Guangshan cried out, “Order! Everyone back away!” but of course, it didn’t work. Wei WuXian couldn’t keep himself from getting out of his chair this time and backing away from them, Lan WangJi immediately following him, putting himself between him and the reporters.
Nie Mingjue appeared by their sides in an instant and put an arm over Lan WangJi’s shoulder, wordlessly leading them both out of the conference room. He shielded them from more reporters with his large body, flashing a glare at anyone who looked their way.
It was only when they left the stage that Wei WuXian fell to his knees, shaking so badly that he couldn’t remain upright. Lan WangJi sank to his knees as well, whispering his name in concern, placing his hands on his shoulders.
“I’m okay,” Wei WuXian insisted. But his words sounded hollow, more like he was trying to convince himself of this fact than those around him. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay…”
“Wei Ying.”
“I’m okay. Is it hot in here? I think it’s too hot in here. Tell them they need to turn down the heat.”
“There is no heat on back here.”
“There has to be. Why else would I feel so dizzy? Fuck, I'm so dizzy, Lan Zhan.”
Nie Mingjue swore, and said, “I’m going to bring the car around. Meet me out back in two minutes."
Lan WangJi gathered Wei WuXian in his arms, nodding up at him in thanks, before he turned back to his partner, his forehead humming bright red.
A few hours after they had returned to Lanling Jin, Lan WangJi was cleaning up after dinner in the kitchen. Wei WuXian was sitting silently behind him on the couch, holding his knees up to his chest, a blanket draped over his shoulders. His chin was on his knees, and his eyes were fixed, unseeing, on his feet. He was no longer trembling, and thankfully had managed to choke down some dinner, but his face still hadn’t regained all of his color.
And he still wasn’t speaking much.
That more than anything made Lan WangJi’s chest clench, and he hardly felt the hot water he was elbow deep in as he washed dishes. Neither of them said much during the entirety of dinner, both of them being too afraid to. But he knew he couldn’t avoid the elephant in the room forever. So, eventually, he grabbed it by the tusks, saying, “I’m sorry that I told them about us. I just…didn’t know how else to make them stop, and I was so angry…”
He trailed off with a heavy sigh, scrubbing the plate harder, so hard in fact that it put a crack in it. Quickly, he put it down, moving onto another plate, grumbling under his breath.
To his surprise though, Wei WuXian responded, saying in a low voice, “Don't worry. They would have found out eventually anyway if they dug deep enough into your social security files and saw the marital status change. They know your name and mine. I just thought I would have had more time, especially with Jin Guangshan. He’s probably busting several blood vessels right about now.”
Lan WangJi paused, soaking in his words. Then, “He wants to hold another conference.”
“It’s not because of you. We would have had to hold another one anyway. There’s no way we could have explained everything in onw go. Besides, now everyone is going to want to get a look at Wen Ning, since they know you’re not the only one. I guess it just worries me that we’re not getting as much support as I thought. More people seem to be angry by what we’re doing than in favor. I’ve already gotten death threats in my email.”
Lan WangJi froze, his hands stilling on the dish. Hastily, his partner tried to reassure him, sitting up more and saying, “Don't worry, okay? I’ve been prepared for this day ever since I took this assignment from Lanling Jin."
The resignation in his voice made inexplicable rage well up in the other man. He shook his head, taking his hands out of the sink as he ground out, “You know what I find amusing?”
Wei WuXian didn’t answer. He just watched his back intently, feeling the tension in the air rising.
“Before I got this body, back when I could barely move without pain, I was looked upon as a ‘disposable’ member of society. The way I saw it, there were two categories of people.” He began pulling off his gloves angrily. “People that would tell me, ‘Oh I can't imagine going through what you go through, I would kill myself,’ but then act annoyed as soon as I would show symptoms at inconvenient times, and people that think this is all in my head, and that if I just tried hard enough, I would be able to cure it.”
Wei WuXian could feel his heart pounding uncomfortably hard in his chest. This was the most words Lan WangJi had spoken in a long time, and the angriest he had ever heard him sound.
“But you…you knew,” he continued, his tone softening. “You understood that sometimes, external factors or your own genetics... it just screws you over and there’s not enough time to fix it, or there’s no way to fix it at all. And you decided dealing with my pain was worth the endeavor. No matter the cost. You’ve decided to give back the quality of life to people society has deemed to be ‘lost causes’ and ‘mandatory casualties.’ With illnesses like mine, there is no poetic ending to it to mediatize. With terminal illnesses, you get sympathy, understanding and support. But with invisible illnesses that can only be understood by the people that live with them, it’s impossible to get the general public to comprehend what you’re going through, that there’s no end to it. Either you are strong enough to withstand it, or you aren't and people will label you as weak, subconsciously or not.”
He began angrily putting dishes on the drying rack, all of them clanking loudly together as he continued to rant, “It's even worse when you can't be a ‘useful member of society’ because of it. Then you are just deadweight to them. And now that you’re working on a possible solution that could save countless lives, some people are going to accuse you of playing God? And for what!? Not giving up on us? For thinking our lives are worth saving just as much as theirs? That we’re worth helping even though we won’t have that sympathetic Hollywood ending that people love so much!?”
The plate in his hands broke with a loud crash.
Wei WuXian tossed the blanket aside and got up, rushing over to his side and pulling his clenched hands into his, inspecting them to make sure no shards had gotten into his joints. When he could find none, he squeezed them, holding them between them. After a moment, he said softly, “All major, positive changes in the world have been met with defiance. It comes with the territory. I promise it’s not enough to scare me away from doing what I love.”
He moved closer, winding his arms around the other man’s waist and hiding his face in his neck before he murmured close to his ear, “I won't give up on you, Wen Ning, or anyone else. No matter what they say or do. Even if I end up penniless in a dirty cave, or walking a single log bridge into the dark.”
Lan WangJi kept his arms raised in the air for a moment, before returning the embrace, putting a hand on the back of Wei WuXian’s head.
“I will walk that road with you.”
At that moment in the front foyer of Lanling Jin, Mo Xuanyu was on his way home, about to reach into his pocket to take out his keys, but was stopped by an all too familiar tickle in his throat. He started coughing, but the tickle wasn’t soothed in a few seconds like usual. It just kept persisting, getting worse and worse, his coughs becoming deeper and harder, sounding horrible and desperate even to his own ears. He was paralyzed, tears forming in his eyes, panic rising in him the longer he went without being able to draw in a breath.
And then he felt something loosen and splat wetly into his hand.
When he pulled it away from his face, he felt faint when he saw that blood was coating his palm, dark against his pale skin. Not only that, there was a dark chunk of something amongst it all. Was that…a piece of his lung?
Mo Xuanyu began wheezing, the room spinning, everything spinning, control and awareness rapidly slipping through his fingers. His clean hand was fumbling for his phone before he was consciously aware, frantically dialing the number of the one person he knew who might help him.
Thankfully, the other person picked up after a couple rings, and he hardly let him get a word in before Mo Xuanyu was whimpering, begging, “Huaisang? Hospital, I need to go-help me! Please!”
Notes:
I may or may not have been waiting to use this chapter title since the beginning of the fic, from Resist, the Within Temptation album that's helped me write this fic and I associate heavily with the borgji AU :D
Joshua says: " Things are going Down, down ,dowwwwwnnnn. Where is it going I wonder? Stay tuned!"
Chapter 33: The Reckoning
Chapter Text
Mo Xuanyu was taken to Qishan General and admitted straight away, Wen Qing being the one who, when she took one look at him and saw how sick he looked, pushed him through and appointed herself to oversee his care. Mo Xuanyu was just thankful that through his terror, there was at least one familiar face who he knew would give him the best care possible. He wasn’t ashamed that he begged her to stay with him that night since his other friends couldn’t be there, and Wen Qing obliged, the fear in his eyes tugging at her heart. She remained by his bed, holding his hand, keeping Wei WuXian and Nie Huaisang updated on his condition throughout the night.
They were sitting in Wei WuXian’s lab at two in the morning when Nie Huaisang received these texts, the man sighing and his forehead wrinkling with worry as he read out loud, “He’s not doing well. Wen-Yisheng doesn’t think he has long. His lungs are essentially turning into one big tumor. He’ll be lucky to make it the rest of the month, and she says even that’s being very generous.”
Wei WuXian’s brows turned upward with concern, watching as his friend drooped in front of his eyes, wilting like a flower. It just wasn’t fair. He’d dealt with his fair share of cancer in his own family and friends’ families. It was an awful thing where the person who had it was fine until they weren’t, and when they weren’t, they went downhill very quickly. He rose from his seat, saying, “I’ll step up my work on his new body, especially after the conference is over. I can even ask Lan Sizhui to work on it when I can’t.”
Nie Huaisang ran a hand through his hair, taking deep breath after deep breath. His eyes were bloodshot. Slowly, he answered, “I’ll tell him.”
“We’re going to get this sorted out, okay? We’re not going to lose him.”
“I know.”
He said that, and yet the moment Wei WuXian left the room and shut the door to the surgery room behind him, he leaned against the wall and wrapped his arms around himself, allowing a couple of shivers to work their way through him. This was just what he needed, one more problem. He didn’t blame Mo Xuanyu, of course. Sometimes these things just happened. But he didn’t know how many more of these problems he could deal with.
Things were not improving for Lanling Jin in the media. When he made the mistake of reading responses to the conference on the local news station’s website, he saw that they were getting more and more negative. Even those who dared to show him support were being attacked, and he could only imagine it was going to spill over into real life at some point. It made him nervous to go outside alone, often asking Jiang Cheng or Nie Huasiang to accompany him. The last thing he thought Lanling Jin needed was more exposure.
And yet, despite this, he refused to give up. Not when someone like Mo Xuanyu’s life was on the line.
One afternoon he was busying himself with working on the artificial body some more. It was already not a good day, as he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and Lan WangJi had to convince him to choke down breakfast that he threw up twenty minutes later. He felt weak and shaky, his nausea still lingering. And then the day became worse and his nausea even stronger when Jin Zixun poked his head into his lab. Wei WuXian almost puked again when he lifted his head and looked up at him, snapping, “What do you want?”
Jin Zixun huffed, narrowing his eyes as he replied, “Just a message from Jin Guangshan. He doesn’t want you to build a genital port.”
Wei WuXian blinked. “…Okay? Why the hell not? Did Mo Xuanyu say this was what he wanted?”
“That’s none of your business. Just do as you’re told.”
“Uh yeah it is? He’s going to be stuck in this body for the rest of his life. I want him to be happy in it. Now you either tell me or if you’d like, I can see if Lan WangJi is on his break yet and he can ask you.”
“….yes, the order came from Jin Guangshan.”
“And pray tell what’s his reasoning behind this decision?”
“That I don’t know. That’s all I have for you.”
“Are you sure? Because really, my husband is just a phone call away.”
Jin Zixun scurried out of the room, mumbling curses all the while, leaving Wei WuXian to roll his eyes, before he went back to his work. He shook his head, grumbling under his breath. This didn’t sit well with him, to say the least, and not just because Jin Guangshan was going behind his son’s back to make a decision for him. He could only imagine what would happen if he didn’t do as he was told, especially considering his tenuous predicament right now. He didn’t want things to get any worse.
But he would be damned if he betrayed a dear friend in this matter.
So, when he got a chance, he texted Nie Huaisang, telling him to relay this information to Mo Xuanyu.
To his surprise, he received not a text, but a call later that same evening. Nie Huaisang’s number and name was on the screen, and so he picked up immediately, saying, “What did he say?”
However, it wasn’t Nie Huaisang who answered, but the frail, hoarse voice of Mo Xuanyu. “Hi, Wei-Yisheng. You were right. It wasn’t my choice. Jin Guangshan told me this would be the condition for getting this new body. He said I owed him.”
Wei WuXian paused as his words sunk in, his face screwing up in annoyance. “Owe him? You don’t owe him jack shit. And why the fuck would he even…?”
However, as he said the words, realization suddenly dawned on him. No, it couldn’t be. That was too horrible, too dehumanizing, too low, even for Jin Guangshan. Right?
Apparently not.
Wei WuXian could hear the sad smile in Mo Xuanyu’s voice as he answered, “He’s not just giving me this new body out of the goodness of his heart. He wants to remove that aspect of me entirely so I can’t embarrass him anymore. Leaving me in his debt forever is just a bonus.”
The doctor nearly dropped the phone in shock, all the blood draining from his face. “Mo Xuanyu…he- no…I wouldn’t, I would never agree to…”
“Wei-Yisheng, don’t,” the other man said gently. “You’re already on thin ice with him. I wouldn’t push it any further.”
“But you don’t want this!”
“Wei-Yisheng…you’re more valuable in the long run than I am. I’m willing to accept the consequences if it means you can remain in Lanling Jin. I can live the life my father wants me to if it means I can remain with all of you. He may be able to control my body but he can’t control my heart, right?”
His throat grew tight, especially when he could also hear Nie Huaisang in the background pleading, “Mo Xuanyu, no, please don’t. We’ll think of another way.” He held a hand to his mouth, gritting his teeth hard against the little cries he could feel climbing up his throat.
For some reason, he couldn’t help but think of his adopted mother and how she always used to say that he would be a failure in the medical field because he was too empathetic, how the best doctors had to harden themselves so that they didn’t make rash, emotional decisions. Maybe that was true. Maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation if he didn’t always think with his heart instead of his head. Maybe…
Maybe she was wrong, and it was the fact that he had such a big heart and cared so much that made him so good at his job. For if he didn’t, he didn’t want to think about where Mo Xuanyu would be today.
He clenched his free hand into a fist, and said determinedly, “I’ll do what I can. Don’t worry, I got my job because I’m good at coming up with solutions to what they tell me are impossible problems. I’ll take care of you, Mo Xuanyu. I promise.”
He heard the man on the other end of the phone draw in a shuddering breath, and it sounded like he too was on the verge of tears when he said, “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
And with that, he hung up, leaving Wei WuXian drained and on the verge of collapsing to the floor.
It took several minutes for him to pull himself together long enough to grab his phone again and text Lan Sizhui a brief summary of what just happened, with an additional statement that read, I don’t care what Jin Guangshan says. They can replace me. With you. I’d never be able to live with myself if I contributed to such a thing. After this, it might be better if I quit anyway. It would be safer if I laid low. Maybe me and your dad could find someplace safe, away from all this. Don’t worry. We’ll let you know where we are when we settle. It’s all going to work out, Sizhui. One way or another.
After he finished typing, he quickly put his phone away, too afraid to see his answer.
The day of the conference dawned much sooner than anyone would have liked, and to say Wei WuXian was nervous was an understatement. He hadn’t even bothered trying to sleep or eat for the entire previous day, and at the moment was running on fumes and an ungodly amount of caffeine. He seemed more anxious even than even Wen Ning, which terrified Wen Ning, because he had never seen his friend like this before. Wei WuXian couldn’t sit still backstage, pacing back and forth in front of both him and Lan WangJi, deep shadows under his eyes advertising his lack of sleep and his shaking hands his extreme nerves.
“God I can’t do this,” he whined, tugging at his own hair. “This is the last time. After this, I’m telling Jin Guangshan he can just have Nie Mingjue or Wen Qing come in my place. Well, maybe not Wen Qing since she needs to take care of Mo Xuanyu. Holy shit, holy shit, why is my heart beating so fast? Why did I drink all that espresso? I hate myself, I hate everything.”
Lan WangJi rose from his chair and walked over, intercepting him, before pulling him into his arms and squeezing him tight. Wei WuXian squirmed for a moment, before he whined and buried his face in his neck, his arms coming up to wrap around him as well.
“I just want to go home,” he whimpered. “Lan Zhan, I want to go home and hide in our bed. Pull the covers up over my head and just stay there all day.”
“We can do that when we get home,” Lan WangJi promised.
“…Can you make me something sweet tonight?”
“Whatever you’d like.”
“And can we watch Titanic?”
Lan WangJi huffed a laugh. “We both know you’ll fall asleep during it.”
“No I won’t! Not with how wired I am from all this caffeine. I’ll stay awake this time, you’ll see.”
Lan WangJi nipped his ear in response, and in retaliation, Wei WuXian blew a raspberry in his. Wen Ning averted his eyes, his forehead lighting up dark green with embarrassment. It amazed him how even after this time, the two of them still acted as stupidly in love as they did when they got married. He himself didn’t feel the need to seek out a partner, but he still couldn’t help but admire the easy intimacy between them.
Who would have thought that the awkward, mischievous idiot he had met in college that had filled his dorm director’s room with horse shit on move out day would marry someone so steady, upstanding, and who clearly loved him very much?
When they got the call to come out, Wei WuXian remained in between him and Lan WangJi, keeping his head low and his eyes on the ground, afraid of the expressions he would see out in the crowd. He knew he should feel safe with two cyborgs sitting on either side of him, but that was far from the case. Panic had already well and truly taken over, squeezing his lungs and making him feel like death was imminent. Eyes were staring at him from all sides, and the reporters looked more like an angry mob than a group of professionals trying to do their jobs.
To his right, Lan WangJi gave him a knowing look, and once again knew the cure, reaching over to squeeze his hand under the table. Wei WuXian chanced glancing up and meeting his eyes, his own awash with trepidation, but he thought he could see the tiniest hint of hope underneath it all. Hope for this all to be over soon. Hope for their future. Hope that there would be a future for them.
Lan WangJi’s forehead turned soft pink, a silent I love you, and that was all it took for Wei WuXian’s chest to loosen. His expression told him everything would be okay, that he wouldn’t let anything happen to him.
And well, Lan WangJi had never been wrong before.
So, Wei WuXian took a deep breath, and turned his eyes back on the crowd.
The questions started the minute Jin Guangshan called the conference to start and opened the floor for them, but this time, most of them were directed at the new face on the podium: Wen Ning. People were asking him about his experience as Wei WuXian’s first experiment, and the doctor tuned in, listening intently.
“If you knew then what you do now, would you still agree to having this procedure done?” one reporter asked.
Wen Ning gave the reporter a steely glare, the bravest expression Wei WuXian had ever seen him wear, before he answered, “Wei-Yisheng is one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. Yes, I would have it done again. Contrary to popular opinion, he has people’s best interests in mind when making these bodies. The laws he wrote protecting people like Lan WangJi and me prevent that.”
“What laws?” another reporter asked.
Wen Ning glanced over at Wei WuXian helplessly, his forehead light green, and his friend swiftly took over for him, leaning into the mic and reciting the laws. “I wrote them very soon after Wen Ning was given his new body. They’re written in an official documented recognized by Jin Guangshan and notarized so they can be used in a court of law if necessary. They are as follows. One, a cyborg must not forget their humanity. It’s exactly as it sounds. Above all else, though their bodies are mostly made of metal now, a cyborg must never forget that they are still have parts made of flesh, nor must they forget what it was like to be limited by a flesh body. Two, making someone into a cyborg must be born from the needs of the one being converted and not your own. Cyborgs must not be created out of a selfish desire of the scientist, the family, or anyone besides the patient. Full stop.”
He paused to look pointedly over at Jin Guangshan, who averted his eyes, choosing to look down at the table. Then, he slowly looked back over to the crowd before finishing with, “And finally, a cyborg has the right to defend themselves as long as it doesn’t conflict with the first law. This means Lan WangJi and Wen Ning can act in self defense as they see fit as long as they don’t lose control and forget to have empathy for their fellow humans. They can act in self defense and not be vilified by the legal system or the public for doing so. Just because they have different bodies doesn’t mean that they should lose the rights they had before. Now, the three laws are actually just a sample of the many actual laws that are in the files, like ones stating a cyborg body belongs to its owner first and foremost and deserve the same treatment, legality and respect as a real body and the disposal of it should be made following the usual rites and rules.”
Wei WuXian stood up, before gesturing towards the two men on either side of him, gazing down at them with affection. “I chose these two because I knew they wouldn’t violate these laws any more than I would. No matter what, they’ll never forget their own humanity.” And in a lower, contemplative voice, “And neither will I.”
Wen Ning’s forehead was alight with yellow light, a warmth filling his chest as he looked up at Wei WuXian with shining eyes. Lan WangJi did the same, though his face practically glowed with pride, for his husband and his faith in him, but mostly for how he had conquered his fear and pushed it aside long enough to proclaim his undying faith in his work and the people next to him who had made it all possible. That he essentially looked everyone straight in the eye and told them in not so many words that he wouldn’t be silenced. With him standing like this, his and Lan WangJi’s joined hands were visible to everyone, as well as their glittering wedding rings. And if those weren’t a solid enough testimony to his faith in his cyborgs, then nothing was.
To Lan WangJi, he looked like a god among men.
BAM! BAM!
It all happened so quickly. There was a flash of movement at the edge of the crowed, and suddenly two pops rang out. People gasped and screamed as Wei WuXian’s knees buckled and he slowly fell backwards, two spots of red blooming on his white lab coat. His hand slid out of Lan WangJi’s, his fingers going limp, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. People in the crowd dropped to their knees, covering their head, while some others began running around in a panic, desperately searching for a way out.
Lan WangJi’s eyes widened as everything seemed to move in slow motion, his forehead blaring red. Without a second thought, he leapt to his feet, catching Wei WuXian before he hit the floor, one hand cradling the back of his head. He knelt on the floor with him, holding him close, everyone else at the podium leaping out of their seats to hide under the table. He vaguely heard Nie Mingjue and Wen Ning calling out his and Wei WuXian’s names, but he didn’t pay them any mind. His world had narrowed completely down to his husband, who was staring hazily up at Lan WangJi in confusion, as if he had no idea what had hit him or how he’d gotten on the floor.
“Lan Zhan,” he wheezed, his voice no more than a breath with some inflection. A trickle of blood welled up from between his lips to drip down his chin. “I don’t feel good. Can we go home?”
But before Lan WangJi had the chance to answer, his eyes fluttered shut and his head fell limply to the side, the blood spreading further across his chest.
And Lan WangJi’s world came crashing down.
It was now nearing close to eleven at night, around the time on any other night that he and Wei WuXian would be curled up in bed with a laptop watching a movie. Lan WangJi would be watching him try to keep his eyes open while the other man mumbled something like, “I’m awake, Lan Zhan, never been more awake in my life. You on the other hand must be close to passing out, old man.”
But instead, he was slumped over in a chair at Qishan General, elbows on his knees, feeling exhausted and sick with adrenaline, his forehead flickering between green and red. He had been sequestered into a room away from the front foyer where curious onlookers wouldn’t be able to disturb him, but even if he hadn’t, he would have hardly noticed them. He was far too focused on the panic attack he’d been having for the entire afternoon and into the evening, his senses only peeled for anyone walking anywhere near the door that signaled they might come in and update them on what was going on. All he knew was that Wei WuXian had been wrenched out of his arms when the ambulance had showed up and he had been rushed into emergency surgery. Other than that, he was stumbling around in the dark, and he wanted to scream in sheer frustration.
However, he wasn’t alone. Lan Sizhui was sitting in the chair right next to him, leaning against him and slowly falling asleep. Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli were standing and leaning against the wall, Jiang Cheng text furiously with a scowl while his sister looked like she was trying and failing to distract herself by watching something on her phone. Jin Ling was sitting on the floor, still holding Fairy’s leash while his dog laid there with his head in his lap, looking lost, as if he couldn’t believe that this was all happening.
Lan WangJi felt like their presence was the only thing keeping him sane, although just barely.
Finally, a few minutes later, they heard the door click open and shut, Wen Qing appearing in the room, looking grey in the face and exhausted beyond belief. Her presence seemed to wake everyone up, and they were all on their feet, scrambling towards her. She held up a hand, and they all went silent, before she said, “He did about as well as can be expected during the surgery. We got him stabilized, though at the moment, he’s still on a knife edge. I’m not relaxing any time soon, and I’ll show you why.”
At that moment, Lan WangJi glanced down to see she had a few x-rays in her hand. She walked over to the backlight mounted on the opposite wall in the room, everyone watching as she turned it on and inserted the x-rays. Lan WangJi felt faint when he processed that he was face to face with his husband’s chest cavity, even more so when he caught sight of the two, bright white bullets as clear as day blaring out at him.
“The bullets ended up in his chest cavity, as I’m sure you’re aware,” Wen Qing explained. She circled two areas with her pointer finger as she said, “One in his heart, and one in his lung. Both were critically damaged. We were lucky to salvage what we did, but I know it’s not going to hold for long.” She turned towards them, her expression grim. “I thought about our options, and I don’t want to sugar coat it. You guys don’t deserve that. I know he’s made artificial lungs and hearts, but the double surgery, the type of damage he received and the fact he may not even survive has me thinking it would be impossible to attempt. Biomechanical parts and transplants may look alike but I promise you they’re very different. So, his only hope is a double organ transplant. We put him on cardiopulmonary bypass for now, but we can’t maintain his vitals on that for too long. Bottom line is either we find a him a donor or he’s going to die.”
Lan WangJi made a sound like he’d been punched, and he staggered back a step, the movement frightening Lan Sizhui so much that he jumped to wrap an arm around his shoulders to hold him up. Jiang Yanli covered her hands with her mouth, and Jiang Cheng swore. Jin Ling looked as white as a sheet, and Fairy started whining anxiously, licking his hand.
“I’ll do my best, I promise,” Wen Qing assured them. “But fair warning. Securing just one of these organs is usually a tricky process. Our chances of getting two of them at once is, well…”
The fact that she couldn’t finish her sentence was answer enough.
“Wen-Yisheng,” Lan Sizhui said. “If there’s anything I can do to help…”
She shook her head. “No, not at the moment. Just be there for him and your dad. But anyway, you can all go see him now.”
The journey to Wei WuXian’s room was a blur. Lan WangJi was only vaguely aware of sensations and colors. He couldn’t feel heat nor cold, couldn’t tell exactly where his head was in space, or whether he was on the verge of passing out or not. But when the door was finally opened to reveal his husband looking as white and still as a corpse, he knew he couldn’t be anywhere but in the middle of a nightmare. Color drained from the walls, leaving everything gray and black, and a high pitching ringing began in his ears.
Slowly, with the resignation of one walking towards a noose swinging from the branches of a hanging tree, Lan WangJi approached the hospital bed and sat down beside it. He gazed upon the ugly branches of tubes winding around his arms, passing over his neck and surrounding his head. The crowd baying for death became the rhythmic sound of a heart monitor and ventilator echoing in the stillness of the night, the sound of the lever being cranked was nothing less than Lan WangJi’s own pounding heart, the tightening of the noose felt clearly around his own tight, strangled throat. But there was no quick snapping of his spine to make the awful image swimming in front of his eyes go away. Wei WuXian was still there, his forever chattering mouth unmoving, covered by a clear mask that pushed air in and out of his tattered lungs. His expressive hands heavy and limp by his sides. His red ribbon gone from his hair, taking the fire away from it.
Lan WangJi shook his head. “He doesn’t sleep on his back.”
Lan Sizhui approached him slowly, hardly daring to breathe. “Dad?”
The other man ignored him, held captive by shadows, smelling colors and feeling sounds. He took Wei WuXian’s hand in his, shivered, and began rubbing it between his own. “He’s cold.”
Wen Qing glanced up at the monitor. “His vitals look normal to me.”
Lan WangJi shivered harder, the metal in his hands rattling subtly as he squeezed Wei WuXian’s hand tighter, and he repeated, “His hands are cold. It’s too quiet in here. He hates the quiet. He can’t sleep unless there’s noise. This isn’t- isn’t…”
His throat was working and he squeezed his eyes shut, his voice growing thick near the end of his sentence, and without a word, both Lan Sizhui and Jiang Yanli came up to sit next to him, each wrapping an arm around his shoulders, holding him tight.
Chapter 34: Lazarus
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was such a strange sensation, to have time be meaningless, and yet every single second that passed by without change felt like a blow to everyone who entered that room in the hospital. When one passed through the doorway, the air became thicker, the bright colors on the walls duller, and everyone’s thoughts heavier. Even for someone like Lan Sizhui, who was used to the calm quiet of his father’s home growing up, this was too much. Every sign of cheer and life, things that were always present in his home, were completely sucked out of the atmosphere.
And worst of all, he had never seen his father like this before, and he had no idea how to help.
He paused by the doorway, poking his head into the hospital room and holding the nutrient capsules close to his chest, gripping them harder than was necessary. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly; Lan WangJi was dozing, as indicated by the dark blue of his LED. He was slumped over the side of the bed, but even from here he could see was holding Wei WuXian’s hand. As far as he knew, he’d only let go of his hand long enough to do quick tasks like changing out his waste capsules, or accidentally in his sleep. Other than that, they had remained joined.
Just like always.
Lan Sizhui swallowed hard and entered the threshold, crossing the room, before he nudged him awake. He felt guilty for doing so. After all, his dad hadn’t slept more than a couple hours a day since Wei WuXian was admitted. But he had no choice. Still, his guilt didn’t lessen when Lan WangJi sucked in a breath and snapped awake, seemingly horrified at himself for falling asleep.
“Sorry,” the young man apologized when he looked blearily up at him, “but you need to change your capsules.”
Lan WangJi rubbed at one of his eyes, replying after a moment, “Right…”
Lan Sizhui held them out to him, and the older man just stared at them like he had no idea what to do with them. He blinked several times, his gaze going right through his hand, and after many moments of inactivity, Lan Sizhui sighed and popped open his midsection, deciding to do it himself.
It just spoke to how tired Lan WangJi was that he didn’t try to stop him.
Once that was done, Lan Sizhui’s hands hovered, and he briefly looked up at him. His eyes were heavy, so he suggested, “I’ll change out the waste ones too, shall I?”
Lan WangJi nodded belatedly.
Lan Sizhui fought the clenching of his stomach when he observed that his nutrition capsules were bone dry and his waste ones were full, especially in someone who was normally so on top of changing them. He was amazed he was still functioning. But beyond that, his metal body looked dull, his hair was a disheveled mess, and he had been in the same wrinkled clothes for days.
“I brought some pajamas for you,” Lan Sizhui added as he took in said clothes.
Lan WangJi turned his head away, his expression still flat, though a stubborn glint had entered his eyes. The younger man narrowed his eyes, insisting, “You need to sleep.”
“I’m fine,” his dad said, and oh dear, his voice was so hoarse, crackling with disuse. “The new capsules should wake me up.”
“Dad, even though you don’t have a flesh body anymore, Wei WuXian still programmed it so it has all the same needs as one. If you don’t sleep, you’re going to start hallucinating.”
Lan WangJi didn’t reply, his eyes going glassy again. But Lan Sizhui wasn’t deterred. He may have been stubborn, but he knew what made the other man tick. And while he was this tired, it wouldn’t take much to nudge him towards what he wanted.
Besides, he had a lifetime of experience in taking care of Lan WangJi.
So, he ducked out of the room for a bit, and when he returned, he was dragging a cot. He maneuvered it into place right beside the bed, as close as he could manage while Lan WangJi was in the way. Then, he stood up straight, placed his hands on his hips, and said in an authoritative tone Lan WangJi recognized, “I’m not leaving this room until you change into those pajamas and lay down.”
To his relief, for the first time in days, Lan WangJi’s forehead flickered yellow with a soft hum. A small, amused smile curled his lips as he said, “Is this my punishment for all the times I forced you to go to bed when you didn’t want to?”
“Absolutely,” Lan Sizhui replied.
He glared down at him for a few moments more, before the older man finally sighed and relented, standing up. Lan Sizhui nodded towards the bag on the bed he had tossed there earlier that day, and Lan WangJi moved over towards it, though he kept glancing over his shoulder every few seconds at the bed. As he opened it, Lan Sizhui turned around, assuring him, “Don’t worry. I’m going to be in and out of here all night. So’s Wen Qing. She has an alarm with her in case his vitals change even slightly. Other staff is going to be passing in and out of here every few minutes.”
Lan WangJi nodded absently, standing there stiffly. “I just feel like something bad will happen if I sleep.”
The boy’s heart clenched in his chest. “I know. But nothing much has changed in the entire time you’ve been here, right?”
Again, Lan WangJi kept silent as he pulled the curtain aside to block him off from his view while he changed. He was right, and he knew he was. Still, his panicked self couldn’t help but fear the worst. He even thought that if he took his eyes off him for more than a second, something bad would happen.
He just hated being so uncertain.
Once he was done, he pulled the curtain back again and finished moving the cot, before he laid down on it. He curled up into a pitiful ball, scooting as close to Wei WuXian as possible. He took his hand again, holding it between them, before he tucked his face against his neck, nuzzling the skin there. It was so warm there…
…and yet it smelled like antiseptic. Like medicine.
Lan WangJi shivered and glanced over at Lan Sizhui. “Can you stay? I’ll just feel better if someone is watching over him while I sleep.”
The boy felt nauseous hearing him sound so vulnerable. This wasn’t right. Not his dad…Lan WangJi was a pillar of strength, of unflappable confidence. He clenched his hands into fists by his sides, glad his back was to him so he couldn’t see. He made sure his voice was very gentle when he replied, “Sure.”
He took the blankets off the bed next to them and draped them over him, pulling them up to Lan WangJi’s shoulders, before he sat down on the cot next to him. He laid a hand on his arm so that the other man would know he was there, and Lan WangJi laid his hand over his gratefully.
However, even with his presence, it took a long time before Lan WangJi relaxed enough to fall back asleep, though his forehead stayed dark blue. Lan Sizhui’s heart felt heavy as he watched them. There was a waxy look to both of them. He supposed the hospital had that effect on everyone.
Things weren’t looking good for Wei WuXian. The boy was scared that if they waited too long, the bypass would weaken him too much to make the transplant possible. And though the idea of Wei WuXian’s death was more than enough to take Lan Sizhui’s breath away, he knew what else was at stake. If Wei WuXian didn’t make it, his dad wanted to…
Lan Sizhui had to breathe through the sudden wave of pain. More than likely, Lan Sizhui would have to be the one to sever his dad’s brain stem since he was now the robotics expert at Lanling Jin. To say doing such a thing would traumatize him for the rest of his life would be putting it mildly.
He gritted his teeth, feeling a fire rise in him. He wasn’t a child just starting med school anymore. He had the power to make a difference, and he wasn’t going to let it come to that. Even if he had to give Wei WuXian his own heart, he wouldn’t let him die. His dad sacrificed his own happiness and health for Lan Sizhui for years, and he did it all selflessly, without complaint. He didn’t deserve this kind of ending.
He sat there in the quiet of the hospital for at least an hour, with nothing but the sounds of Wei WuXian’s heart monitor and respirator for company, before a chime on his phone nearly made him jump out of his skin. He pulled it out of his pocket, only to see that Nie Huaisang had texted him.
How’s Wei WuXian?
Lan Sizhui typed out a response almost robotically. Not good. If his heart gives out one more time, I’m pretty sure they’re not going to be able to start it again. He might not even make it the next couple days.
Nie Huaisang’s reply came quickly, and Lan Sizhui’s heart sank as he read it. Its doesn’t look like Mo Xuanyu will be either. He’s awake now, but he stays asleep longer and longer. I’m sorry Lan Sizhui, I hate to put you in this position, but this surgery needs to happen now, and there’s literally no one else who can perform it.
He had to resist groaning out loud. He almost forgot. That’s right…as much as it pained him. At least Wei WuXian wouldn’t be alone, though. Wen Qing could handle things here.
He glanced back at his dad, who was twitching in his sleep, his breathing coming in odd, rapid bursts. Clearly, whatever dream he was having was not a pleasant one. He didn’t blame him though. Wei WuXian’s heart stopped twice today, and it had taken a while to revive him both times. Seeing that would traumatize anyone. But more than that, as the days passed, when he looked in his dad’s eyes, Lan Sizhui could see him losing hope as their options grew fewer and fewer. At one point, Lan WangJi wondered if they could use Mo Xuanyu’s heart, but Lan Sizhui had to tell him that wouldn’t be possible. Yes, they would have been compatible, but with the cancer, it just wasn’t a good idea.
Lan WangJi squeezed Wei WuXian’s hand a little tighter, whimpered his name, and Lan Sizhui swallowed hard, trying to force down his tears.
In a different part of the hospital, Mo Xuanyu blinked his heavy eyes open, and they hazily took in his surroundings. The ceiling was still there, blurrier than usual. The blankets still smelled like musty closet and antiseptic. And when his eyes slid to his right, he saw that Nie Huaisang was right there, awake and worried. He leaned forward when he noticed the glimmer of Mo Xuanyu’s eyes on him, brushing the hair out of his face. Mo Xuanyu’s eyes slid shut in bliss.
“Hey,” he greeted softly. “Good news. Lan Sizhui just texted me saying that he’s prepping for your surgery. By this time tomorrow, you’ll be pain free and awake in your new body. And you’ll never have to worry about cancer again.”
In his opinion, that text came none too soon. Mo Xuanyu’s eyes were glassy as he stared up at him, and he looked so thin and sick, like he might break if touched without care. He was the picture of someone that would give anything to shed this horrible body and have another one. The perfect candidate for the surgery. Nie Huaisang could feel his chest loosening in relief at the thought of him finally being free from his pain, at being able to take a breath after he felt like he’d been holding it in for the months since his cancer got bad. It was almost over. Tomorrow…
Mo Xuanyu’s gaze grew distant, drifting over to the other wall. For a moment, Nie Huaisang thought he was going to fall asleep again, so he surprised him when he spoke, his voice barely higher than a whisper. “I felt like I was stuck in a really long dream. I was taking a walk in the woods…it was so warm, so peaceful. I didn’t want to leave. My mother was there too. I told her I hurt and I didn’t know what to do. You know what she told me?”
Nie Huaisang didn’t answer, a strange chill crawling up his spine at hearing him say such things. He only felt colder when the other man continued, “Yes you do. You always have.’ And…she’s right.”
His eyes flickered up towards him. “I can’t let Lan Sizhui go through with this.”
An icy needle shot through Nie Huaisang’s heart, and he squeezed his hand extra tightly, his voice coming out in a horrified wheeze. “Mo Xuanyu…don’t.”
“I know you don’t want your friend to die.”
“Please don’t…you’re just as important to me as he is. I just”-
“I know. I’m not going to make you choose. I’m doing this for myself. All my life, I’ve been told by my relatives that I’m good for nothing, that there’s something wrong with me. And then I met all of you, and you all helped show me that wasn’t the case. I've been thinking this over all week. And I promise I’m not doing it out of gratitude, or because I feel I owe you guys anything. Tell Lan Sizhui to perform the operation on Wei-Yisheng instead.”
Nie Huaisang couldn’t move, could hardly breathe. He felt like every word out of his mouth was tightening a vise around his throat, and he desperately wished he’d stop talking. He shook his head in disbelief, reaching up to hold his hand between both of his. His voice was trembling with the threat of tears when he pleaded, “Mo Xuanyu…no, it doesn’t- if you held on long enough, I’m sure they could build another body…”
But even as the words leave his mouth, he knew how impossible it sounded. Still, it hurt when Mo Xuanyu smiled sadly and said, “You know as well as I do there’s no way that can happen.”
Nie Huaisang’s chin sank to his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut, but it didn’t stop the tears. They glimmered on his eyelashes, and the choked sounds he made as he tried to swallow down his sobs broke Mo Xuanyu’s heart. He weakly reached up and brushed some of the other man’s bangs aside, murmuring, “It’s okay, Huaisang. I’m not afraid. I’ve actually never felt more in control. I’m not letting Jin Guangshan use me to prove a point. I’m doing what I want and there’s nothing he can do about it. Wei-Yisheng is more important to the world than I am. There’s more people that will miss him than me.”
The other man lifted his head, and tears spilled down his cheeks in silver trails. The agony splintering his face made Mo Xuanyu’s eyes sting as well, and he moved his hand to cup the side of his face, thumbing his tears away. “I know,” he soothed. “Oh Huaisang, I’m so sorry. It’s not fair that this is how our story has to end. I almost feel like over all these years, that I might have grown to”-
“Don’t.”
“-to love you.”
The dam broke, and Nie Huaisang couldn’t hold back his sobs anymore. His tears fell huge and fast, landing in his lap, and where he held the other man’s hand, clinging to it like it would keep him here with him. Slowly, he fell forward, and Mo Xuanyu pulled him down the rest of the way, holding his head against his chest, and that only made Nie Huasiang cry harder. He should be the one comforting him, not the other way around, and yet, he was paralyzed, unable to do a thing. Helpless.
But of course, Mo Xuanyu didn’t hold it against him. He simply laid there, closing his eyes, absorbing the sensation of having the man he tried not to fall in love with but stupidly did anyway in his arms for what would most likely be the last time. And slowly, as if in a dream, he said, “When Wei-Yisheng wakes up, I want you to tell him something. Can you do that for me?”
A sob shuddered through Nie Huaisang, but after a moment, he nodded. Mo Xuanyu laid a hand on the back of his head, weakly stroking through his hair. “Tell him thank you for everything and that I don’t want him to feel guilty for my decision. If he hadn’t reached out to me that day in his lab, I don’t know where I’d be. I was never happier than when I was with all of you.”
His heart shattered irreparably inside his chest.
Lan Sizhui never thought he would experience the sensation of “everything in my life has boiled down to this moment.” And if by some miracle he did, he always thought he would be older when it happened. But now, as he shoved his phone back in his pocket and raced off to find Wen Qing, adrenaline coursing though him, he could say with certainty that this might have been the purpose as to why he survived the car accident that claimed his parents’ lives. The way Lan WangJi- who before Lan Sizhui had disturbed him was staring lifelessly ahead while singing a low, mournful version of the song he and Wei WuXian had danced to on their wedding day- had slowly returned back to life when he told him about Mo Xuanyu’s decision, had made every tragedy in his life that had brought him to this point worth going through.
It had been a blur after that. A flurry of activity erupted as Wei WuXian was rushed into emergency surgery, Lan Sizhui and Wen Qing trying to pull a surgical team together out of thin air and gather the tools they needed. Lan Sizhui trying to get himself in the headspace he needed to forever alter his new father’s future while also trying to block out how destroyed Nie Huaisang had sounded when he relayed Mo Xuanyu’s request to him on the phone. He had no idea how he was going to be able to repeat the other man’s final message to Wei WuXian without breaking down himself. That is, if they succeeded.
Right. He also needed to block out the part of his mind that kept telling him there was a chance he would fail, because that simply wasn’t an option.
The surgery lights went on. The operating table was prepped. And before he knew it, Wei WuXian was laying in front of him, the first of a long line of miracles Lan Sizhui would need to perform.
Death and hope warred over Wei WuXian’s weakly beating heart, fighting for supremacy using the tools Lan Sizhui wielded. The spectators to the battle sat outside the surgery room; Lan WangJi with his nose practically pressed against the glass, wondering if this was how his brother had felt when he had been the one on that table, Jiang Cheng holding Jiang Yanli, Lan XiChen solid support at his brother’s side while Nie Mingjue sat not far away, and Jin Ling hiding his face in Fairy’s fur so no one could see his tears. Wen Ning sat beside him, hand on his shoulder, forehead green with worry. All of them watching with bated breath, all of them brought together over the course of their lives by Wei WuXian.
By contrast, at the other end of the hospital, Nie Huaisang sat alone in a dark hospital room, a grieving sentinel, clutching Mo Xuanyu’s hand between his own. The other man had fallen into a coma not long after he had made his declaration, as if he knew his job was done and there was no reason to fight anymore. More tears were squeezed out of Nie Huaisang’s eyes as the last words he spoke to him repeated over and over again in his mind.
“Looks like it wasn’t just you. Thank you for letting me experience what it’s like to be in love.”
The night crawled by, becoming deeper and darker, latching its claws into everyone at Qishan General. It paused, before it began pulling.
A heart monitor sputtered to life, slow at first, and then a beautiful, rhythmic melody, made only more precious by Lan Sizhui crying out, “He’s stable, I’ve got brain activity!”
Another heart monitor flatlined, and a cry of despair filled the blackened space, the silent body on the bed the only bright point in the room.
In the surgery room, Lan WangJi pushed his way in, and no one dared to stop him. He leaned over the table, his forehead flickering green and red, his brows drawn together. He looked to be on the verge of a breakdown, but no one knew what kind yet. His expression told everyone that one word could send him either careening over a cliff or pull him back from the edge of it as he watched his husband’s new face intently.
He held his breath.
There was a hum, soft at first, and then louder. The LED on Wei WuXian’s forehead flickered, from dull grey to a brighter grey, and then to blue. His eyes moved back and forth beneath his closed lids, which fluttered, before finally sliding open.
They were bleary at first, the pupils shrinking and growing as they tried to focus. However, Lan WangJi filled his entire vision, and for the moment, that was all that mattered. Wei WuXian took in that precious, worried face, that forehead light humming between aqua and yellow, and a joy filled him that was powerful enough to lift the corners of his mouth, despite how weak he was. It was small, but blinding as always, and the fact that Lan WangJi thought he would never see it again…it was too much.
Plip. Plip plip.
Warm droplets landed on Wei WuXian’s cheeks, before sliding down them. A hitched breath escaped Lan WangJi, and his husband’s smile melted into one of profound gentleness. Uncaring of who was watching, Lan WangJi buried his face in his neck and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him tight to his body, his back shuddering on more sobs. Wei WuXian huffed tolerantly, and then uttered something Lan WangJi would never forget.
“Oh my poor Lan Zhan…I finally found out what makes you cry.”
Notes:
Joshua says: " I am sorry for the lack of artworks at such a crucial moment! I am kneedeep in commissions right now but rest assured there's gonna be one for next chapter! I also want to say I will be distributing chocolate, ice cream and hot tea for those that needs it after this chapter. I wish I could say we are both sorry............but.... 😈"
Yeah I'm not sorry, he's correct, I love me some grief porn. But oh my god I can't believe we only have one chapter left, Imma go cry :'D
Chapter 35: Epilogue: If Time Will Set You Free
Notes:
Laugh and cry
Live and die
Life is a dream we're dreamingDay by day
I find my way
Look for the soul and the meaningThen you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore - Then You Look At Me, from Bicentennial Man
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
One Year Later
Even on sunny days, the cemetery managed to look bleak and grim. The headstones were sad reminders of all those that had been lost. Wei WuXian had many relatives buried here, but he’d stopped coming when he cut ties with the Jiangs, and never in a million years did he think he’d be back.
Especially not like this.
He and Lan WangJi pulled up in the driveway before getting out the car and walking the rest of the way, flowers in their hands. White, for the pure soul they were coming to visit. It certainly wasn’t the first time, and Wei WuXian thought this trip would have gotten easier by now. But the joke was on him, because just seeing Mo Xuanyu’s name written there in stone was enough to make his eyes sting.
He stopped in front of the headstone, before taking a shuddering breath and laying the flowers at the base. When he stood up, he tried to laugh it off, saying, “Oh boy, I made these lacrimal glands a little too well didn’t I?”
Lan WangJi placed his flowers next to Wei WuXian’s, and when he stood up, he eyed him critically. Thankfully, it was easy to see what Wei WuXian was thinking now, in a way. He could no longer pretend he wasn’t upset by something when he really was. His forehead was aqua, though he was smiling. He came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, setting his chin on top of his head. It had been strange at first, getting used to the fact that Wei WuXian was now a head shorter than him, but even if he was only a foot tall or a hundred feet tall, he would still want to do this.
So, they stood like that, time losing all meaning, and everything in the world going quiet save for the wind blowing. Their hair fluttered up around them, the long, dark strands dancing slowly as they tried to catch the air. Wei WuXian placed his hands over Lan WangJi’s, a silent acceptance of his presence, but he didn’t break eye contact with Mo Xuanyu’s grave, as if he was afraid he’d disrespect him if he did.
After a moment, Wei WuXian spoke, and when he did, his voice was somber and contemplative. “I know he told me not to feel guilty. I know he made this decision himself and no one put him up to it. But…”
Lan WangJi kissed the top of his head in comfort. “I know. You can’t help it. It wouldn’t be you otherwise.”
“Not even really for myself. Just for Nie Huaisang. I’ll never forget how he looked at me the first time he saw me after I woke up. Like I had betrayed him in the worst way. And I know he said he didn’t blame me either but…”
He trailed off, Nie Huaisang’s hollow voice echoing in his head, “You didn’t do anything wrong. My head knows that. Mo Xuanyu told me that himself. But my heart says I need to be alone for a while.”
A while turned into almost an entire year in which he left Lanling Jin, and dropped off the radar, cutting them all off. No one could get in touch with him, not even when they showed up at his door. And though Wei WuXian understood, it was still strange to not talk to someone he’d spoken to almost every day since they were kids.
And now…
“I meant to tell you,” he said, finally breaking the silence, “Nie Huaisang finally texted me this morning.”
Lan WangJi lifted his head, looking down at him. “What did he say?”
Wei WuXian turned around in his arms, keeping his hands on his chest. He absently smoothed his shirt and said, “That he was sorry. And he had missed me. And could we go out drinking?” He laughed and shook his head fondly. “Almost like the past year didn't happen. I appreciate it. And...”
His husband’s eyes grew warmer and he placed a hand on top of his head, before letting it slide down the back of his head.
“It’s…I’m not an idiot. I know he’s going to have a hard time looking at my face. It’s almost cruel to go around wearing it. I wonder if Lan Sizhui can change it someday.”
“Only if you want. No matter what face you wear, you know I’ll always love you.”
Wei WuXian’s forehead flickered yellow and aqua, before his head flopped forward and his forehead thunked onto his shoulder. He nuzzled into it and whined pathetically, leaving Lan WangJi to pat his back indulgently, practically covering him with his large body.
Wei WuXian had to admit, there were some perks to being shorter than Lan WangJi.
After a moment, Wei WuXian lifted his head from his shoulder and patted his chest, asking, “Go back to the car please? There’s just something I want to tell him really quick.”
Lan WangJi nodded and obliged, and he watched him make his way back down the path towards their car. Once he had disappeared, he turned back to Mo Xuanyu’s headstone, took a deep breath and said, “I know you thanked me just before you died, but really I have far more to thank you for. So I’ll say it now. Thank you, Mo Xuanyu, for allowing me to stay with Lan Zhan for as long as our bodies will allow. Thank you for the opportunity to help many more people. Just…thank you for this extraordinary life. I promise I’ll take good care of the people we care about for as long as they’re around.”
He felt warmth trickle down his cheeks, and he quickly wiped at them, worried the liquid would get somewhere it shouldn’t. Then, with a shuddering sigh, he offered Mo Xuanyu a bow and left.
When he got in the car, he looked back at the headstone again, just in time for the breeze to blow a gentle shower of white flower petals from a nearby tree towards the car. They floated back and forth, swirling around each other, before drifting into the open window. He watched them land in the windowsill, on his lap, and the biggest, most complete flower, right on top of his head. Wei WuXian flinched, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Lan WangJi was looking at him fondly from the driver’s seat.
“What?” he wanted to know.
“Nothing,” Lan WangJi said. “It seems whatever you said, Mo Xuanyu sends you his blessing.”
Wei WuXian blew his bangs out of his face and pulled the flower off his head, leaning back in his seat as he drove off.
He kept the flower in his lap for the entire trip, deciding he could use all the blessings he could get. After all, today was his first day back to work in a year.
On the car ride over to Lanling Jin, Wei WuXian couldn’t help but lean his head against the window, stare at the scenery passing by, and muse about said past year. To begin with, his rehabilitation had been hard and brutal. He pushed himself to get better as fast as possible, not wanting to be beat out by Lan WangJi or Wen Ning, and sometimes he ended up hurting himself. But no matter what, of course Lan WangJi had been there for him every step of the way. Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning helped of course, and Wei WuXian finally understood what it was like to be on the other side of the therapy.
The shooter and person who stole the data from Lanling Jin was apprehended and revealed to be a man named Wen Chao, the son of the man owned Qishan Wen, Lanling Jin’s biggest competitor. When he was questioned, he admitted his father wanted to cast Wei WuXian in a negative light so that it would give them an excuse to off him, and in doing so, would be seen as doing everyone a favor. He also admitted Qishan Wen was involved in fraud, tax evasion, sabotage under…rougher interrogation techniques, and well, those things sure didn’t help him when he went to trial. It all just proved how much of a coward he really was.
Xiao Xingchen of course got involved while he was recovering and took up legal battle after legal battle for his case. He even hired the help of another lawyer from another firm, a long time friend of his named Song Lan to help him. It was settled for the moment, but they would still need to attend several hearings once his recovery was fully complete. Needless to say, they would be kept busy for a while.
Thankfully, based on the looks they kept giving each other during their meetings and all the times Song Lan kept showing up with lunch for them while pretending he didn’t notice Xiao Xingchen’s delighted smiles, Wei WuXian didn’t think all the work they were putting in was too much of a hardship.
Lan XiChen and Nie Mingjue got married during the winter, and the moment Wei WuXian could sit up, he attended the wedding in a wheelchair, and he decided that he needed to come up with a way to get Lan WangJi to wear a suit more often. It certainly made going to a social function while sober worthwhile.
The two of them moved into Nie Mingjue’s cabin, where they got a new bearskin rug, as they had worn out the other one.
Speaking of moving, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi moved into their own place near Lanling Jin, figuring they were tired of hiding, and that it was time to live in the outside world now that people knew they existed. The reaction from people in the surrounding neighborhood when they heard the news was mixed. Some avoided them while they walked down the street, but thankfully, even more people showed up at their doorstep with something to eat and a story about how they had a relative with a prosthetic whose life had been changed by the work Wei WuXian had done. And so, the doctor couldn’t help but hope that this was a sign of things to come, that as time went on, as more people like them became commonplace, people’s perception of them would change.
Besides, not having to hide their relationship anymore was definitely worth the change, and Lan WangJi was happy that he got to love Wei WuXian in every corner of their new home. In more ways than one.
Jiang Yanli thought it over for a good long time, and taking her son’s feelings into consideration, she decided against marrying Jin Zixuan. She cared for him, sure, and said she would keep him in her life for their son’s sake, but if they got married, and that was a very big if, it would be on her terms and not because his parents wanted it for them.
“I don’t know how you can entertain the idea of marrying him at all someday,” Jin Ling had said to her one day. “Considering…”
He trailed off, and she just shook her head, placed a hand on his shoulder, and said, “I forgave him long ago. Holding onto that anger would just hurt me. You don’t have to do the same. I won’t put that kind of pressure on you, and you have every right to be angry at him. But I will say you’re doing a good job at accepting him into your life, and that’s already a huge victory. In time, maybe you’ll heal even more. Not for his sake. For yours. You deserve it. All we can do from here on out is move forward.”
Taken aback, Jin Ling paused, before he pulled her into a hug, hiding his stinging eyes into her shoulder. Yes, she was right. After all, his father was making strides to prove he was worthy of his son and Jiang Yanli’s love. Perhaps someday, the three of them could come to an understanding and all heal together.
Wen Qing and Luo Qingyang had gotten married, moved into an even bigger place, and adopted several more ferrets, and became even more insufferable with how in love they were. Wen Ning was very tolerant of it, but maybe that was because he now lived in a separate section of their home that he maintained all by himself, and he was appreciative of the offer. He even loved playing babysitter to the ferrets, something Wei WuXian was banned from doing.
Jiang Cheng was still the hugest ace tsundere the world had ever seen and no one ever pressured him to get married under pain of death.
Everyone else had remained status quo at Lanling Jin, and considering the wild year everyone had, Wei WuXian was beyond grateful.
At last, they reached their destination, Lan WangJi pulling into a park spot and stopping the car. The large, white letters on the outside of Lanling Jin rose up welcomingly, putting a smile on Wei WuXian’s face.
As Lan WangJi unbuckled his seatbelt, he asked, “You ready?”
Wei WuXian mirrored his actions, and replied, “Oh yeah. I missed this. But more importantly, I know what’s going to get me through the day. The promise of your hot pot.”
“You’re just happy you’ll actually be able to eat it.”
Wei WuXian’s smile grew. “I promise I’ll leave some for you.”
They hopped out of the car and made their way up the sidewalk, the very same one Lan WangJi had been wheeled inside as an emergency patient all those years ago. But before they made to the front doors, Lan WangJi placed a hand on Wei WuXian’s shoulder, causing the other man to stop and face him, before he said, his forehead glowing a soft mix of yellow and pink, “Wei Ying. I know I’ve said this before, but…thank you. For everything.”
Wei WuXian’s forehead shifted into a soft pink as well, and he looked up at him fondly. He then took his husband’s face in his hands, leaned up, and pressed their foreheads together, feeling their LEDs touch with a soft click. Fitting together, as if made for each other. He murmured, “There’s no need for that between us. Instead, how about this? I used to be lost, and ever since you opened your eyes on that surgery table and looked at me, I wasn’t lost anymore.”
Lan WangJi had no response for him. What could he even say? So instead, he closed the distance between their lips in a gentle, sweet, meaningful kiss, trying to get across everything that was in his heart.
And judging by the blinding smile and equally as blinding LED Wei WuXian flashed him when they separated, he succeeded with flying colors.
They held hands as they walked into Lanling Jin, only separating when it was time to go to their respective areas of work. Lan WangJi’s soft, lingering smile and pink forehead light, both full of love, would both be more than enough to get him through to lunch, when they would see each other again. In the meantime, Wei WuXian passed first Wen Qing, then Wen Ning and then Lan Sizhui as he walked into his lab, greeting all of them with a smile and a yellow LED. He then disappeared into his surgery room, put on his lab coat, popped on his goggles, and turned on his radio. An insane smile worked its way onto his face when he found a heavy metal version of Milkshake playing on his station, and without hesitation, he turned up the volume all the way, waiting for the inevitable.
...
...
....
“Wei WuXian, turn that shit off or so help me!”
And now he could officially declare with his whole, artificial heart, that he was home.
Notes:
Good lord I can't believe it's done, I feel so empty now lol. I started this fic nearly a year ago as a fan of Joshua's work that was dying to see this AU turned into a fic, and then decided no one else would write it the way I wanted to see it, so I better do it myself. And now?? What the heck??
I cannot even begin to thank you all for the lovely support this story has gotten. I can easily see it being my most popular fanfic for a long time to come, and if it weren't for all of you, we wouldn't have made it this far. I've made so many new friends just from this fic alone, and you all are lovely and irreplaceable, and gaaaah I wish I could pull you all in for a group hug.
Thank you again, from the bottom of our hearts. I'm still working on another fic for this fandom at the moment, so keep a watch out for that if you'd like, and I hope to write even more after that one is finished. So until next time, goodbye, and thank you <3
Joshua says: " I gotta say I have far too many feel knowing this is the last chapter and the fic is now complete. One part of me is serene and another is a bit choked up! I sincerely hope everyone enjoying the fic and had a good time reading it! It has been so fun to construct and now I'll be working very hard on taking the original concept and turning it into a webcomic. If you ever get curious, do follow me on my Twitter to see more! A big thank you to Caro for putting in all this incredible effort and doing such a fantastic job with writing this fic! I hope working with the ideas I was throwing at you was a fun time! It sure was for me!"
Edit: Now with super sweet fanart from the lovely Ceci Dee- https://twitter.com/ceci_demo/status/1484406022391353348
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