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There was a storm raging outside, Tony deducts as he lays on his sofa staring emptily at his livingrooms roof. His brain buzzed with alcohol unsuccessfully trying to stop the aching in his chest. Gibbs was dead. Dead. Gone. No more head slaps and angry barks. No more nights spent sitting in silence watching Gibbs work on his boat. No more home-cooked steaks in the fireplace. No more Gibbs.
No more.
The pain in his chest spiked again with pain, his eyes stung but he refused to start crying. Gibbs wouldn’t like that. Gibbs can’t know anymore now, can he? He’s dead.
”Shut up, ” Tony growls as he takes another swing of beer. Reveling in the burn as the liquid went down his throat.
God, it was hard to believe he was gone. Gibbs wasn’t supposed to die. He wasn’t supposed to die ever. He was always the one who seemed indestructible. He wasn’t supposed to leave Him them. Leave Tony alone to be strong for everyone again. To be there for Abby when she cried, to help Ducky to talk about their memories, to lead Probie and Ziva. To be alone again. No mentor to turn to when he needed a good slap to get out of his head.
Another swing from the bottle. It wasn’t fair. If Tony had been a little faster to get to his car and driving to the scene. if it had been him who ran into the burning building instead of Gibbs. It should have been him. It should have been him who died. If he hadn’t been on a monthly check-up for his lungs Gibbs wouldn’t have gone into that building but he would have. It should have been HIM!
”It should have been me…” Tony whimpers as tears finally fell from his eyes. Silent tears fell from his eyes as he finally let his grief show in the safety of his empty apartment. It hurt so much, his chest ached like it ached when Kate died. The thunder rolled outside, the rain hitting the window as if it knew.
Damn him for getting attached. Damn Gibbs for bringing him here to get attached. Damn it all.
”Now Tony you don’t mean that,” a sudden voice says above him. Tony Shouts as he jumps up immediately swiping his gun from the coffee table and pointing it at the intruder with surprisingly steady hands for someone as drunk as he was.
There in front of him stood a woman with red hair and soft eyes as she gazed at him. Pretty nice if it weren’t for the fact she was in his house at gunpoint. A small giggle snaps Tony out of his thoughts drawing his attention to a little girl behind the woman.
”Wha-” he grumbles confused at what he was seeing. The girl was levitating and her body looked see-through. But that can’t be possible. With a closer look, he could see that the woman looked see-through as well. What in God's name was going on?
”Don’t you recognize us, Tony? I know you’ve seen me when you did background checks on Jethro,” The woman said pleasantly her eyes sparkling with amusement. It took a while for his brain to start working.
”Shanon? But… how? Am I dead? Oh my God, this is like that movie from…” Tony’s rambling was cut off by an amused chuckles Shanon- Shannon's ghost emitted. ”No Tony you are not dead… Jethro though…” she trailed off looking sad.
A bang of pain once again introduced itself in Tony’s chest. ”Shannon… Kelly, I’m so sorry… It- it should have been me,” he murmurs keeping his eyes down. Gently a warm hand landed on his cheek making him lookup.
”No Tony, It was his time all though unfortunate as it was” She murmurs looking kindly at him. Then her eyes steeled for a moment as she looked down at him with determination. ”All though it was his time it seems my beloved is not ready to leave… he is stuck here, bound by anger and grief. But this world is not meant for a ghost to stay in. It is too corruptive for a soul,” she sighs, ”You cared about him right. I know you did as he cared about you so very much Anthony.”
Tony did not know what to say so he remained quiet and nodded. ”Daddy is already starting to feel strange, mommy says we can’t go to him yet or he’ll corrupt us too” Kelly murmurs sitting next to Tony. Her eyes turned up to him with pleading puppy eyes. ”You’ll help daddy right? You’ll help him to rest as daddy did to us?” She asked.
”I- how do I help?” Tony asks, it all felt so surreal.
”You need to catch his killer Tony, only then can his soul move on. Here, wear this, it will help him know who's his friend.” Sharon extended her hand giving him dog tags. More precisely Gibbs’s tags.
”You’ll do this? Won’t you?” She asks hopefully. Tony nods he knew the moment he understood. He would do his all to help Gibbs. To get him to his family.
”I’m glad. Thank you, Tony. Good luck…” With that, she disappeared along with Kelly. Tony’s head hurt and then everything went dark. For a moment he was sure he saw Gibbs towering over him before everything went dark.
-ω-
Tony shot up from his couch his eyes flickering around the room. His gun laid on the table and his beer had fallen to the floor. Was it all a dream? Shannon? Kelly? Gibbs? Had he dreamt it all? A Small weight in his hand drew his attention. There in his fist laid Gibbs’ military dog tags.
There was a small silence as Tony stared at them before slipping them around his neck. No, it was not a dream. The storm outside raged as Tony vowed to fill his promise to Gibbs’ family. He will catch that bastard who killed his boss. He will save Gibbs.