Chapter Text
Chapter 1
“I bet this isn’t exactly what Amy imagined when she offered to throw you an engagement party, Knux,” Sonic said, grinning slyly at the red echidna at his side. The Guardian of the Master Emerald leaned back against the pink hedgehog’s once immaculate kitchen counter, now cluttered with red plastic cups and pizza boxes, and shrugged. “Probably not. It did take some convincing to get her to let us use her dining room table for beer pong, but… so worth it.”
Sonic sipped from his drink, some fruity red punch Knuckles had instructed Amy to make, and grinned as he watched the party’s hostess flitter from group to group, picking up empty beverages with the promise of bringing more. “Do you think she enjoys these things?,” he said, gesturing with his head toward the pink hedgehog. “Seems like all she does is work.”
Knuckles tipped back the rest of his drink and moved to the punch bowl that sat in the middle of the kitchen island for more. “She must, for some weird Amy reason. I’m just glad for the free booze, and so is Rouge.”
The hero shook his head in exasperation but held out his nearly empty cup when the echidna offered him more of the sweet concoction. “So…. you think you’ll ever do anything about that?” Knuckles asked, tilting his head toward Amy.
“‘Bout what?”
“You know. About your so-called girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Try telling her that.”
“I have. Several times,” Sonic grumbled as he blinked heavily and felt the alcohol really start to take effect. His high levels of chaos energy made it hard for him to get drunk, but he’d had a lot in a very short amount of time, and whatever Amy had used was… potent.
Knuckles elbowed his friend. “You could do worse, you know?”
Exasperated, Sonic downed his entire drink in one go and tossed the empty cup in the garbage. “I’m gonna grab some air.”
Knuckles nodded, not noticing the subtle shift in Sonic’s mood, and went off into the crowd of their closest friends to find his fiancée. Sonic watched him go and sighed, turning for the back door.
He loved the parties, loved the music, spending time with his friends, the overall atmosphere of celebration. He loved these moments when they could take a break from the constant cycle of warfare and rebuilding, but sometimes…. Sometimes he just needed a minute away from it all, especially when there was yet another person telling him he should pursue Amy.
But he didn’t want her. He wanted--
“This spot’s occupied. Find your own, hedgehog.”
Shadow.
Sonic jumped in surprise at the agent’s voice, moving a little more than he intended, thanks to the fog overtaking his brain. Shadow was sitting on Amy’s little garden bench, arms outstretched along the back, head tilted up toward the stars, a motionless statue blending in perfectly with the surrounding darkness.
Glaring, Sonic ignored him and sat down anyway, fully expecting the hybrid to leave, or at least move his arm, or scoot over. But he didn’t, and Sonic swallowed heavily against the rising butterflies in his stomach as his quills and arm brushed black fur.
Shadow said nothing, just continued staring upwards, only the slight rise and fall of the white fluff on his chest giving any indication that he was alive. Sonic knew he should look up, too. This moment, this barest of touches, was a gift. He was so close he could shut his eyes and feel the warmth emanating from Shadow’s body. He could lose himself in that delicious mixture of spices that was the agent’s natural scent. He breathed deeply. Cinnamon and cloves.
He shouldn’t push it, shouldn’t push his luck, shouldn’t say a thing, but… Shadow just looked so… beautiful. He’d had feelings for the other for… years. Truly, it had been years. But what could he do? There was no way Shadow felt the same. The ebony hedgehog barely tolerated him, let alone lov--
It didn’t matter. Sonic was alone in his feelings, he was sure of it.
His heart beat erratically and jumped into his throat anyway as his alcohol-addled brain slowly ran over the hybrid’s features. Those upturned crimson-striped quills that Sonic had never, and would never, see on another hedgehog, eyes so intense in their focus it was some strange combination of intimidating and endearing, and that mouth that was more often than not molded into some degree of frown. And then there was that white fluff of fur on Shadow’s chest. The blue hedgehog tilted his head slightly, wondering to himself what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. Was it soft? It looked soft.
“Why aren’t you with the others?” Shadow asked quietly, breaking through Sonic’s thoughts.
Sonic leaned his head back against the cushion of Shadow’s arm and stared up at the stars. They weren’t as clear as they could be during a cold winter’s night, but given the humid haze of mid-summer, they were exceptionally bright. “I needed a minute.”
The agent nodded slightly and said nothing else. He understood needing a minute. He needed several. Parties, celebrations, and social situations in general were not his… scene. But Rouge would never have forgiven him if he’d missed her engagement party, and while he would only live with the bat a short while longer, he didn’t wish those months to be even more torturous than they already were. So he’d made his appearance, drank some of the nauseatingly sweet punch in cheers to the happy couple, and even awkwardly interacted with a few people outside of Team Dark.
It was exhausting.
So, he’d crept away at the earliest opportunity, seeking peace and solitude, but naturally the most obnoxious thing alive had to find him. Though… it wasn’t the first time, or even the second. There’d been many times over the past year, the past several months especially, where they wouldn’t part ways quite as readily as they used to. Sometimes they would stargaze, sometimes they would grab a bite to eat, even though technically Shadow didn’t require food, and sometimes they would just sit and talk. Well. Sonic would talk. Shadow listened. There was something about the moron’s voice that settled him, calmed the part of him that was forever remembering and regretting. Took him out of his own head. He would never admit it out loud to anyone, could barely admit it to himself, but… he’d started to look forward to their time together.
“So you give Knux the talk yet?”
Shadow glanced away from the stars for a moment to give Sonic a questioning look. “What talk?”
“You know, the one where you threaten all sorts of vicious, painful endings for him if he ever hurts Rouge.”
“Is that not inherently understood?”
The blue hedgehog shrugged, leaning back and into Shadow just a little more as he crossed a leg over his knee. “I don’t know if Knuckles knows that you care that much, but for all their constant fighting, he’d never actually hurt her.”
“Hmpf.”
“It’s sweet though. That you do care about her. And Omega.”
“I never said--”
“You didn’t have to.”
Shadow wanted to argue, but…. The hedgehog was right. He hated it, but he’d become accustomed to Rouge and Omega’s partnership and would be… regretful, should something happen to them. He didn’t like that. Not at all. Having those connections…. Everything just made him think of Maria, and the bleeding, gaping wound in his heart that used to hold her love. He couldn’t go through that again. He wouldn’t survive it. If anything would kill his immortal body, it would be another loss like that….
His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden weight against his side and shoulder. Startled, he looked over to see that the Hero of Mobius had fallen fast asleep against him. It was strange to see the normally animated creature so still and quiet, but it was also… intriguing. The blue male was so infrequently calm, always babbling and moving, restless and intense, bouncing from one thing to the next without pause or care. This was truly a rare moment, and suddenly the warm body nestled against him became far more interesting than the stars.
Shadow watched Sonic’s chest rise and fall with deep, even breaths and smiled softly as blue eyelids fluttered with some unknown dream. It was a mistake to allow himself this tiny reprieve of contentment, but for the moment, he allowed himself to be the selfish creature he knew himself to be at heart…. He imagined what it would be like to let his guard down again. His heart flooded with warmth, and he unconsciously brought his arm to rest around the hedgehog at his side, bringing him even closer. The way he felt around Sonic…. What had started as rivalry at its friendliest had blossomed into something else, a steadfast alliance, and occasionally, perhaps, something more. It was different from his feelings for Rouge and Omega, different from his reluctant acquaintanceship with most of the other members of the resistance. It was different even from what he’d felt for Maria, the human girl he’d loved with his whole heart.
The same heart that had shattered with her sacrifice.
Feeling the sting of pain, loss, and guilt returning, overwhelming him again, he pulled back and away from the hero, closing the tiny window he’d opened in the impenetrable walls around himself.
“Mmmm… Shadow…” Sonic sighed, eyes still closed as he turned into Shadow and nuzzled the white fluff of fur on his chest.
The ebony male stiffened and moved his hands up to push the blue hedgehog back, but then peach lips pressed against the base of his neck, and he felt something else entirely, something that sent a searing hot ache rushing straight to his lower belly. Shadow’s hands stilled first out of surprise, but then out of… want.
“Sonic--”
“I love you.”
Shadow froze, his heart seizing in terror. No. No one could feel that way about him, it wasn’t true, it wasn’t allowable, he couldn’t afford emotional attachments. Muscles tensing, chest heavy with panic, the agent darted away from his rival, away from those… feelings and sensations.
Sonic barely caught himself in time as he fell forward into the empty space left by Shadow’s quick departure. Emerald eyes blinked open in confusion. “What the hell?”
“Y-you said--you said you love me. You kissed me!” Shadow accused.
The hero’s eyes opened wide, a blush creeping across his muzzle as he eyed the hybrid who stood a few feet away. He had a choice. He could make something up, some sort of lie about a dream involving someone else, or being tipsy, or he could tell the truth.
He chose the truth.
“I-I do. I... love you….”
“You can’t!” Shadow snapped.
“Of course you would say I can’t, but too bad, I do!”
“Well, don’t!”
“I tried!” Sonic snapped, standing and moving toward the other. “Don’t you think I tried?! Chaos, Shadow!” he growled pulling at his quills mere inches from Shadow’s baffled face.
“Shadow--you--you’re so… frustrating! You’re always defensive, and grumpy and broody and so fucking full of yourself and,” his voice grew soft and he sagged slightly. “You’re also incredibly brave and self-sacrificing. You're smart, but kinda gullible, which is just… it’s cute. You’re strong and kind when you want to be, and even though I know you try to hide it, you care. A lot. And I love it. I love you. The whole package.”
Shadow closed his eyes tightly and shook his head in disbelief. “You can’t--”
“Stop saying that! Why would you--”
“Because I don’t fucking deserve it!” Shadow shouted, pushing back against the blue hedgehog and knocking him backwards.
“Shadow….”
“Don’t! Just stay away from me!”
“Shadow, just wait a--”
“Sonic! Are you out here?”
Sonic glanced toward the house where Amy stood calling for him, irritation rolling through him as he turned back to Shadow, but….
It was too late.
The agent was gone.
“Shadow!!!” Sonic called out into the night. There was no response, just crickets singing for their mates and Amy’s continued chattering as she approached him from behind.