A Different Type of Hunger

by karategal

Summary:

Being married to the King of the Pirates had its upsides and its downsides. If you wanted to know which particular side was winning on that particular day, then Law would tell you that it usually depended on whether or not Luffy had caused any type of international incident or migraine-inducing disaster in the last couple hours. It was also entirely possible for him to do both in one day, but Law preferred not to think about that if he didn't have to.

If he was being honest, he needed more coffee. A lot more coffee.

Notes:

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or actors from One Piece. Everything belongs to the great and powerful Eiichiro Oda.

Chapter 1

Being married to the King of the Pirates had its upsides and its downsides. If you wanted to know which particular side was winning on that particular day, then Law would tell you that it depended on whether or not Luffy had caused some type of international incident or migraine-inducing disaster in the last couple hours. It was also entirely possible for him to do both in one day, but Law preferred not to think about that if he didn't have to.

"You are looking quite exhausted this evening, Torao."

Law didn't even bother to look up, attention focused on his rapidly cooling coffee as Nico Robin settled herself into the empty seat beside him. It'd been a long day and the doctor didn't feel much like social interaction right now.

"This is how I always look."

"Allow me to rephrase that: more exhausted than usual, then."

"Yeah, well, I'd like to see you try to corral your lunatic captain's fanclub while also trying to stop said captain from picking a fight with yet another admiral," grumbled Law around a mouthful of rice and tuna. "I have far better ways to spend my afternoons than patching up their self-inflicted gunshot and stab wounds."

Robin hummed in response before saying, "I thought it all went rather well."

"You would."

"No wars were officially declared."

"That's a pretty fucking low standard, if you don't mind my saying so."

"But quite successful by Luffy standards."

"I suppose that's true."

Not even two seconds after he said that, a small baguette went whizzing by Law's head, narrowly missing his own rice ball by a scant few centimeters. Law just tilted his head instinctively to the left, easily predicting the rubbery hand that followed the bread's path moments later. Once it had its prize, the hand whipped back to float right in front of Law's face, fingers wiggling just under his nose in macabre greeting.

Unable to hold back a quiet huff of amusement, Law reached out and touched the fingers with his own, very lightly tracing the calloused digits with his fingernails. The bread and fingers seemed to wriggle in happiness, floating back and forth for a couple moments before retracting backwards like a bungee cord to their rightful owner. If possible, Robin's smile stretched even wider, blue eyes alight with laughter and a mutual understanding.

"It would appear our captain isn't quite as distracted by food as he once was."

Law raised a speculative eyebrow at this, pointedly looking towards the head of the table where his husband had just shoved an entire plate of spiced meat and one of Bartolomeo's arms into his gaping mouth. He sincerely hoped that Luffy would just bite off the annoying bastard's whole arm this time. That way, Law could chop the green-haired troglodyte into several more pieces and then leave him floating in a Room on the bottom of his submarine.

"That's a disturbingly optimistic statement."

"He only chewed on our swordsman twice this week," said Robin. They both watched as another member of the Barto Club nearly lost an arm to Luffy's gluttony. "And it looks like he hasn't accidentally swallowed anyone whole tonight."

"I feel the need to tack a yet onto that sentence."

Robin shrugged. "Still an improvement over how he was before your arrival. Do not sell yourself short, Torao."

"He just wants to satisfy another part of his gullet, Nico-ya. Of that, I can assure you." Law went to grab another rice ball, nose crinkling in dismay when he saw that there were none left. "And of fucking course they'd eat all the shit that doesn't have gluten in it."

"Meals can be quite dangerous when there are so many different appetites to satisfy." Robin sprouted several of her flower arms, scouring nearby tables for any food that would be agreeable to Law's finicky stomach. "I'm sure our dear cook would have no issue with making you a separate dish if we're not able to find anything else that won't cause an allergic reaction."

"Don't worry about it. I've already eaten enough for the evening."

Robin looked unimpressed. "Unlike the rest of us, even basic use of your Devil Fruit drains large amounts of energy from your body. That's not healthy for anyone, let alone a valuable doctor like yourself. You really need to eat more, Torao."

"Are you calling me scrawny again?"

"No, I'm saying that our captain will be most upset if you ingest more than four whole pots of coffee on an empty stomach and then refuse to go to sleep for more than two days straight again. He was quite displeased by that series of events, as our crew will loudly remind you."

"Yeah, well, it would've been nice if he'd actually left some—"

The hand reappeared before Law could even finish those words, five rice balls being placed on his now empty plate with a finality that he had long ago learned not to argue with. And then it just hovered there, equal parts ridiculous and menacing as the fingers gestured pointedly back and forth between Law's face and the proffered food. When he didn't move quickly enough, the hand reached over and tried to pinch his cheeks.

"Okay, okay, I'm eating, see, it's going into my mouth," said Law while scarfing down two rice balls like an angry chipmunk. "Are you happy now?"

If it was possible for a hand to do a happy dance, then Luffy's figured out how to do it. And then it tried to shove yet another rice ball into his mouth. Ugh, why the hell did Law agree to marry this idiot again?

"What the—no! Some of us need to actually chew first, you moron!"

The hand continued to poke him.

"I never said I wasn't going to eat all of them!" snapped Law. "Just give me a damned minute, okay? Not everyone has a rubber stomach like you."

Another poke to his left cheek resulted in Law biting the offending finger. As expected, it stretched and flailed all over the place, Luffy's other four fingers pointing at him with extreme offense. Served him right.

"Stop being such a worrywart."

Hell, just the fact that Luffy was willing to share food with Law had caused the Straw Hats' jaws to quite literally drop open in shock, Chopper almost having a heart attack while hurrying to take Luffy's temperature the first time it had happened. All the rubber man had done was laugh, smiling wide as he said that Torao needed lots of food to power that gigantic brain of his.

With that said, Luffy had placed four rice balls, two sizable slabs of Sea King meat, and a large salad bowl in front of Law, before going back to his food without so much as an aside glance. The entire Straw Hat crew had watched Law with bated breath, noodles dangling out of Usopp and Zoro's mouths as they looked back and forth between Luffy and their most uptight ally.

"Hey, why aren't you eating, Torao?" Luffy had asked after almost two minutes of silence. "That stuff won't upset your cardiac disease, will it?"

"It's celiac disease, Straw Hat-ya."

"Yeah, whatever, but none of that has glue-y stuff in it, right?"

As the rubber man said this, an entire bowl of tomato soup had been swiped from Franky's plate, the shipwright's spoon pausing in mid-air before he'd turned around to shout and curse at his captain in response. When Luffy's other hand had tried to steal some pumpkin bread pudding from Nami and Ikkaku's plates, Sanji had promptly kicked him into the nearest wall.

Law hadn't even tried to hide his surprise when he said, "No, there's no gluten in any of it."

"Shishishi, then eat up!" Luffy had bounced back to his own monstrous meal in barely ten seconds. "Hey, Bepo, do you gotta get fat and herberate like those bears in the Sakura Kingdom have to do?"

"It's hibernate, Luffy. And would you get the hell away from Ikkaku's plate! I'm so sorry, Ikkaku, my sweet, but our captain's a complete moron. Would you like a second serving of bread pudding to go with your ice cream?"

"Ugh, yeah, that's what I said. And oh, oh, I want seconds!"

"You don't get any!"

For the rest of their meal, the Straw Hats had continued to look between their captain and Law's plate of food in disbelief. Chopper had even wandered over to take Luffy's temperature a second time when the rubber man hadn't made a single move to steal any of Law's food. Sanji had even made several comments about this having to be a fluke, feet ready to kick Luffy if he tried to raid whatever was left in the fridge. Zoro had simply stared at his giant mug of beer and eventually said that he must've been drunker than he'd thought, because there was simply no way their piggish captain would ever be willing to share food unless the other person was dying.

It was impossible.

But then it'd happened again, and again, and again.

And now, a little over seven years after their first meeting, Luffy actually appeared to enjoy providing the doctor with some of the few foods his sensitive stomach could handle, even stealing from other people's plates if it was necessary. Trying to explain celiac disease to Luffy had been frustrating at first, but it'd only taken one accident with Goan pancakes and the following three-day intestinal flare-up for Luffy to take it dead seriously at every meal after that.

Sanji now had a detailed list and more than a dozen cookbooks on what celiac sufferers could eat, often consulting and comparing the recipes before trying out a new ingredient when Law was aboard the Thousand Sunny. And although he'd never be willing to admit it out loud, Law did find it rather heartening that Luffy's crew were willing to go through so much trouble and effort for him.

Outside of his crew and deceased family members, Law wasn't used to anyone being particularly nice or considerate of him, especially in regards to his strange dietary requirements. Even the Donquixote Family had made nasty remarks about his extreme dislike of bread, often throwing some onto Law's plate when he wasn't looking. Such meticulous care would've been an affront against Law's stubborn pride just a few years ago, but he'd gotten a little better about not biting or chopping off every single hand that tried to reach out and help him now.

"Oh dear, I think our king's about to make an announcement."

Law shrugged and took a big bite out of his rice ball. "Or ask for more meat. I think Black Leg-ya cut him off about ten minutes ago."

"My mistake. It appears he just needed to burp."

The sound of Luffy's signature explosive belch echoed across the field, at least a dozen or so other pirates following him in quick succession. After beating the snot out of an arrogant World Noble and his horde of pet Marines, the Grand Fleet of the Pirate King had been welcomed with applause and an enormous feast by the nearest island's inhabitants. Apparently, this particular Noble had seen fit to bully and terrorize a large stretch of territory along the West Blue's Calm Belt for almost an entire decade, taking full advantage of the Red Line's recent political chaos and instability to do whatever he wanted to the local populace.

Oh yes, chopping that son of a bitch into little pieces for Luffy and Sanji to kick around and torment had been one of the highlights of Law's week. Plus, Jean Bart's happy little smirk had been worth whatever trouble came of it.

"Torao! Torao!"

Law didn't even attempt to hold back a genuine smile this time, immediately turning in his seat to face the Straw Hat's tiny doctor. And as usual, Chopper was all but vibrating with excitement, a thick textbook that was nearly as large as he was held high in both hands.

"Good evening, Tony-ya. What is that you've got there?"

"A new book on acute and chronic infectious diseases from the West Blue! It was only published a few weeks ago, but the local doctor had two copies and offered to give one of them to me!"

"Oh, that is quite exciting," Law agreed. "Would you mind sharing a few—"

With a high-pitched squeak of happiness, Chopper threw the book onto Law's now empty plate before he could even finish that sentence, almost falling over his own hooves as he scrambled up onto the older doctor's lap. It eventually took a helpful push to the bum from Robin, but once Chopper was able to settle himself on Law's lap, a couple of bright pens and sticky notes were whipped out and it was nothing except horrible infectious diseases, equally brutal-sounding treatments, and medical jargon from then on.

"There's a whole chapter just on Western Konoan encephalitis! And a small but pretty extensive table on a whole new genus of highly pathogenic Agaricius mushrooms that are only native to the lowland swamps of Toroa Island. Apparently, if it's not treated within a three week time frame, it'll hijack the nervous system and eventually take over the brain by creating a kind of hyper-parasitic relationship that's favorable to the fungus."

"Does it have drawings of the fruiting bodies and pustules?"

"Yes!"

"Now that does sound interesting," said Robin as she moved her chair closer to the two doctors. "Is there any historical or cultural context on how the native Toroans have lived with or used these particular fungi?"

"Oh, yes, there's an entire description on page 327 about how the locals have used the fungus to subdue other tribes that encroached onto their hunting grounds. It allowed them to control most of the main island and its surrounding islets for centuries."

"Then I'd say that's where we should start. Shall we?"

Law wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when he next looked up it wasn't because yet another load of food had been dumped onto the table or because a stupidly loud drinking contest was now taking place several yards behind them. Hell, not even the sound of Eustass Kid's obnoxious and hellishly grating voice three tables over was enough to pull Law away from such fascinatingly detailed and graphic depictions of glandular tromatitus, Eastern Valley sleeping sickness, and Bavari hemorrhagic fever.

Nope.

The only reason Law had looked up was because something had wrapped around his left ankle. Normally, this would've been a cause for concern, but since the Straw Hat Grand Fleet was partying it up and Law was not even one hundred feet from the likely culprit, he instead decided to ignore the offending appendage for the time being and pretend that he had no idea what was going on.

It wouldn't be a viable option in the long-run, but he'd hopefully be able to get through another chapter or so before Luffy decided that he really wanted his husband's undivided attention, and wasn't willing to share it with a stupid book or their own crews, either.

Shivers ran down Law's spine when a finger rubbed back and forth over his pulse point, the finger's owner more than aware of just how sensitive Law's ankles could be. He pointedly didn't look towards the head of the table, already knowing that there would be a smug tilt to Luffy's signature smile. Nobody besides Law would even notice the difference in their King's smile, all of them completely oblivious to the second type of hunger that Pirate King Luffy liked to indulge in after a good battle and even sweeter victory.

Ugh, why did he ever marry such an insatiable, attention-hungry fool again? Because if that damned idiot didn't stop rubbing his ankle like that this very minute, then Law was going to do something very—

"Who wants more Sea King kebabs?"

Law's hand was less than three seconds away from Rooming and Shambling his husband when a bubbly server appeared with several more trays of food, smile wide and bright when she saw the Pirate King waving her down like an overstuffed beacon.

"Oh, me, me, over here! Over here!"

"Coming right up! Would you like any of our island's signature coconut cream pie with—"

"Meat, meat! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

The poor girl obviously didn't know who or what she was dealing with, because if she'd been smart, she would've just thrown the trays onto the table and made a mad dash away from the bottomless pit that was Monkey D. Luffy. But nope, the poor thing wasn't too bright and probably would've lost a whole hand if Law hadn't raised a Room and teleported her fifty feet away from him.

"Oh my goodness!"

A leaf floated where the girl had once stood, fluttering on the evening breeze for a short moment before it was sucked into Luffy's mouth along with everything else on the food trays. Not even the wooden kebab spears were spared, although Luffy did have enough sense to spit them out after they got stuck in his throat. The hacking that was required to cough them up was disgustingly gross, but Law had dealt with far grosser things from his husband over the last seven years.

"I wouldn't recommend getting too close to the King when he's eating," said Law. "It's an easy way to lose a hand. Or your life."

Robin grinned at the poor girl's shocked face, her sense of humor just as dark and morbid as Law's own. In contrast, Chopper was flailing about and trying to reassure the server that Law was exaggerating and Luffy would never actually eat an actual person.

"He's not a cannibal!" Chopper shouted in alarm. "Luffy doesn't eat people!"

"I don't know," drawled Law with an evil smirk, "I've seen him bite and gnaw on the hands that feed him more times than I can count. Sounds quite cannibalistic to me."

"Our captain does have difficulty telling hand from food at times. I feel like rabies shots are an essential part to being on our crew."

"You know, there's a theory out there that Devil Fruit users have the potential to carry rabies," Law said while smirking at his shrieking and freaked out audience, "But are totally immune to its progression and usual effects. Some degree of insanity and hunger for flesh sets in, but that's about it... from what I've heard."

"Hmm, that would certainly explain a lot about our captain."

"Oh, for god's sake, you two are terrible," said Nami as she walked past and lightly flicked Law and Robin on the head. "And stop trying to traumatize the locals. They are the ones who are feeding us after all."

"I'm just a doctor trying to ensure the safety of potential patients."

Nami raised an eyebrow in response and said, "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Dr. Surgeon of Death."

"I resemble that remark."

"Uh huh, I'm sure you do." Nami snatched up a couple sandwich slices before Luffy could grab them. "Oh, is that the new medical book you were talking about earlier, Chopper?"

"Yes, and it's so incredible!"

The little reindeer was now standing and leaning over Law's shoulder, happily holding the book up for Nami to look at some diagrams about Bavari hemorrhagic fever. She gave him a slightly queasy smile in response, eyes widening when Chopper pointed at a picture of ricey, bloody diarrhea and then started to explain how the virus attacked multiple parts of the digestive tract at once.

"Oh, yes, and I'm the morbid one," drawled Law, voice thick with sarcasm. "Perhaps my next project should be researching ways to replicate and grow a fluffy pelt of fur and antlers? Then I'd get yelled and glared at, probably, about eighty percent less often."

"Those pictures Baby-5 sent us of you as a child looked quite fluffy."

If Law didn't have a rubbery hand wrapped around his ankles—and yes, three of Luffy's fingers had somehow stretched to wrap around his other ankle as well—he would've kicked Robin on her elegantly crossed shins right that very second. But no, he had a damned rubber man for a husband and traitors for crewmates-in-laws, so life was fucking cruel and had allowed Baby-5 to have childhood pictures of him.

"Fluffy hat, fluffy father-figure, fluffy navigator, fluffy apprentice. There's a lot of fluff in your life."

Law just continued to glare at her.

"Of course, our captain's about as unfluffy as a person can get, so I suppose there's some areas where you prefer things of the more angular variety."

"I've officially lost all respect for you, Nico-ya."

"Duly noted."

A loud crash from the head of the table signaled that Luffy had likely broken yet another platter after shoveling everything on it into his mouth. Normally, Law would've looked to confirm his suspicions, but he was still ignoring his husband's presence like he would a particularly moldy piece of bread stuck under the back cabinet of the refrigerator. The mere thought of such a putrid scenario made his nose wrinkle with disgust.

So, to prove that he could be just as stubborn as the stupidest members of the Straw Hats, Law grabbed the book from Chopper and set it back on the table, turning the pages at random until he landed on something that looked both interesting and distracting. It took a little bit of willpower to ignore the fingers that had stretched up his left pants' leg, but Law managed it and eventually found what he wanted. Yes, this one would definitely serve as a good distraction, for both himself and everyone else around the table.

"Have any of you poor souls ever heard of a little disease called pus-eye pox?"

"Oh God, here we go..."

To Law's surprise, this distraction actually worked for quite some time, Luffy's hand going still and just gently holding the doctor's ankle as he continued to flip through the medical book and discuss new antiviral treatments with Chopper and Robin. Bepo and Uni joined them a good while after Law had acquired his loyal ankle-holder, the latter showing an almost disturbing level of interest in a new method of extracting parasitic foot fleas. It was kinda nice and relaxing, to simply be able to sit down and enjoy a good meal and intellectual discussion about new diseases while his crew and husband stuffed themselves to their hearts' content, temporarily free of all worries about the Marines or rival Emperors or any other new kind of threat.

It was something Law wasn't used to, being at peace. His whole life had been marked by one struggle and tragedy after another, always eyeball-deep in a vicious fight or subterfuge to save either his own life or those close to him.

Of course, just because Law wasn't stuck in that constant struggle between life and death didn't mean that other, sometimes even more stressful or upsetting things didn't still happen, either. For instance, the little problem he was now having with the hand on his ankle, which had apparently decided that massaging Law's sensitive Achilles tendon and extensor retinaculum was its new favorite pastime.

Law gritted his teeth, purposely ignoring the pleasant feel of those fingers moving back and forth over the tendons, rhythmic and familiar and everything he didn't need when they were in public and Chopper was sitting right there on his fucking lap!

"Something wrong, Captain?"

"Nah, just a little tired," said Law with a thin smile. "It's been a long week and I'm not exactly looking forward to fixing the Tang's torpedo cannons. Ikakku and Clione have already bitten my head off twice for not pulling away from the shoreline sooner."

Chopper leaned back to stare up at him and said, "Clogged with seaweed again?"

"And an especially clever and obnoxious Bilker crab that Ikkaku swears she's going to boil alive when she gets her hands on it."

"I've heard that Bilker crabs are quite chewy."

"Yeah, well, Ikkaku won't care about how it tastes so long as it's dead," said Law, left leg twitching as his husband's hand very, very lightly ghosted over the hairs on his lower calf. "She's vindictive like that."

"I'd eat it."

"We know, Bepo. Trust me, we know."

"Sorry."

After another few minutes of torture, Law finally gave in and kicked at Luffy's hand with his right foot, inwardly growling when the damned wrist and fingers stretched and flattened like, well, rubber. It was equal parts infuriating and amusing, and Law was definitely going to bash Luffy's head in for being such an inappropriate, stupid asshole.

"Ahhhhhh! That was soooooo good!"

Law didn't even have to look up to know that his husband was doing a full-body stretch, the hand that wasn't holding Law's ankle hostage probably patting his over-stuffed stomach in gluttonous satisfaction. The gross burp that followed was a little less endearing, but at some point in their relationship, Law had also acquired the dubious ability of not being affected by his husband's bodily gas expulsions.

It wasn't exactly a skill he was proud of.

The Straw Hats' cook, on the other hand, didn't find it endearing at all and wasted no time in kicking his captain upside the head while yelling about how many beatings Luffy needed before good table manners were rammed into his thick skull.

"But burping's a compliment to the chef, Sanji!"

"No, it's not, you disgusting swine! It's terrible manners and you know it!" Sanji had a pouting but shameless Luffy held by the ear now. "Do it again and I'll make sure you won't be able to eat anything else for the rest of the night!"

"I don't care, I don't want any of your cooking right now, anyways."

Sanji literally growled in response, shaking Luffy back and forth several times to get his point across. Not that it would work, but Law was willing to give him extra beris and credit for effort.

"Good, because you've already eaten almost everything this damned island has to offer, including the stale bread and moldy cheese. Not to mention that entire crate of rotten penguin meat, too." Sanji visibly shuddered at this bit of information. "To be honest, I don't know how you aren't shitting your guts out from that last one, but I really should be past the point of surprise by now."

"But I am still hungry—"

"Yes, I know, I know, you're always fuckin' hungry, dumbass!"

"For Torao!"

Everything and everyone within hearing vicinity of the table seemed to freeze in mid-motion. Food fell off of people's forks, water sprayed out of people's mouths, and pirates tripped over local people's bemused forms. Even the nearby drinking contest came to a grinding and dead-silent halt. Eustass Kid, the fucking asshole that he was, cackled like he'd just heard the best joke in the world.

"What's a Torao?" asked one of the servers. "Is it some type of dessert?"

Those questions seemed to reverberate through the evening air like a goddamned bell, the heads of every single pirate who knew anything about the Straw Hats crew turning to stare directly at the grumpy-looking man they'd heard their King call Torao thousands of times before. If possible, Law would've Roomed and Shambled Luffy into another dimension right then and there.

Whispers started to spread among the confused locals and food servers, all of them asking if anyone knew what a torao was and how they could make or retrieve it for the Pirate King. Law turned to glare right at his husband, eyes narrowed and ears pink as Luffy smiled wide, not a care in the world for the crushing embarrassment he had just rained down on Law's head. And Kid was still cackling like the obnoxious son of a bitch that he was.

"Oh dear," said Robin. "It looks like our captain has spoken."

Law didn't even deign her with a verbal response, instead releasing an exasperated sigh while picking Chopper up and handing him off to Robin, who was waiting with open arms and a knowing smile. The reindeer only gave a few short protests, head whipping back and forth between Law and his captain before realization seemed to smack him over the antlers. On a normal day, Law might've felt a little bad for traumatizing the tiny doctor with his and Luffy's marital... exploits, but right now, he was kinda preoccupied with heading his husband off at the proverbial curve.

"We can finish our discussion tomorrow, Tony-ya."

"Good luck and make sure to have fun," said Robin, her smile stretching wider when Law glared again. "It's always nice to see our captain being forced to think about a chase instead of just crashing straight through it."

"Your vote of confidence is much appreciated, Nico-ya."

Fingers tightened around Law's ankles, the doctor inwardly rolling his eyes at what always proved to be a useless attempt at pinning him down before their customary adrenaline-fueled, post-victory, pre-coital game of Devil Fruit-laden pursuit. Law was indifferent to it for the most part, but Luffy really seemed to enjoy the lead-up and chase, so Law was willing to put up with a little bit of embarrassment for his husband's sake.

"Hahahaha, looks like we've got some kinda nasty fucking public foreplay going on over here, folks!" Scratch that, he was going to kill Eustass-ya first. "Who wants to bet that stupid monkey can't even figure out where he's supposed to put his own fucking—"

"Room."

And then there was blessed silence... for about five seconds.

"Hey! Don't you even—"

"Shambles."

"You goddamned son of a fucking bitch! I'm gonna bite your face off when I get over there, you bastard!"

Law watched as a toothy smile spread across Luffy's face, the rubber man busting out into laughter when Kid's head floated past him ranting and raving about what he was going to do to Law's pansy ass once he was whole again. It would've been nice to see Luffy and their belligerent ally's head bicker with each other, but Law knew that he needed to take advantage of every little distraction he could if he wanted to outrun the Pirate King.

"Shambles."

Notes:

This story has pretty much written itself. I guess this is what I get for re-watching One Piece for the first time since I was twelve-years-old. Hint: that was more than fifteen years ago now. And holy crap, did that take forever! Nearly 1000 episodes now! Good on you, Oda.

I gotta admit, I never in my life thought I'd ever pair Luffy off with anyone, be it romantically or sexually. I just didn't think it was possible in my mind given how his character is written. But then Trafalgar D. Water Law just had to make his grand debut and turn that 15+ year headcanon of mine on its head. And so, we've got some pirate husbands here. And Luffy isn't in the slightest bit shy about showing everyone and their one-legged grandmother how much he loves his grumpy husband.

Chapter 2

The familiar feeling of teleportation took over Law's body, easily switching him to the far side of his Room. If anybody bothered to look, all they would see sitting in his place at the table was a bright green garden gnome from one of the local's backyards. Law took a few seconds to admire the well-kept garden before collapsing and raising another Room, warping himself to yet another location and hoping that the garden owners didn't mind the small boulder that had now officially replaced their grinning gnome.

It was just after his fourth warp when Law heard something come crashing through the trees, body instinctively angling itself to the right as Luffy came careening off a neighboring hillside. Law chuckled at his husband's indignant squawk as he went flying by, opening up another Room and easily warping away before Luffy had time to reorient and swing himself around for a second attempt.

Staying two steps ahead of his husband was fairly easy after that, Law puttering around and then warping to another location once he heard that distinctive crashing sound coming through the trees. If Luffy was actually serious about catching Law, the chase would've ended fairly quickly and with a massive amount of destruction to the island, but the two pirates had long ago settled on a list of rules when it came to their carnal games of cat and mouse.

Minimal damage to local property. No permanently traumatizing the locals. All hot sauce projectiles were strictly forbidden. And no picking fights with a gang of territorial pigeons.

Oh, and absolutely no Gear Five. Too much collateral damage with that one.

Pretty straightforward and sensible, at least to the average person, but one had to plan for almost every eventuality when Luffy and the Straw Hats were involved. It was ridiculous how much trouble they could get themselves into, and although Law hated admitting it, familiarity had bred an instinct of prediction when it came to his husband and his band of merry lunatics.

"TORAO!"

Law jumped several paces back and watched as Luffy slammed right into the poor tree he'd just been standing next to, an outstretched hand tangling around several of the oak's lichen-covered branches. A mix of laughter and curses signaled that the rubber man wasn't too upset by his chaotic collision, or the swarm of birds pecking at him in scornful anger. One particularly large parrot even managed to sink its beak deep into Luffy's left ear, pulling the rubbery flesh about fourteen feet into the air before realizing that something wasn't quite right with this strange, noisy human.

"Your aim leaves quite a bit to be desired, Luffy."

"Stop! That tickles!"

"Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised," muttered Law as he watched his husband get into a full-blown argument with a fucking parrot, "It takes a birdbrain to know one, after all."

"You're so mean, Torao! I wasn't even really trying to—ahhhhhhh!"

Luffy yelled in surprise when another bird pecked at his eyes, rolling all over the ground like some kind of demented ball of twisty and flailing limbs. The birds were quite persistent though, and Law had to move out of the way several times when Luffy nearly rolled straight into him.

"Normally, I'd ask if you'd need assistance," drawled Law, "But this is just too entertaining to pass up."

"Stupid birds! Stop pecking me!"

"Maybe if you'd stop pulling on their tail feathers and rolling all over what's left of their nests, they wouldn't want to disembowel you so much."

"Toraoooooooo! Why are you so mean? Can't you see I need help here?!"

"You know, I think just this once, I'll stay out of it and just sit back and enjoy the show." Law had little trouble evading his husband's flailing arms and two particularly cranky parrots that were attacking them. "Hmm, I think you may have something in your hair there, Luffy."

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

Law stuck around for five more minutes of this ridiculous dustup, eventually just letting out a long-suffering sigh before teleporting himself back to where the feast was still taking place. Of course, Luffy had figured out what the doctor was going to do when that familiar blue bubble appeared, dark eyes narrowing as he released a hard wave of Haki and then tried to grab the already-disappearing Law with an outstretched hand.

The Pirate King's rebound was fast and determined enough that it would've caught pretty much anybody else in it, but Law was used to dodging those rubbery limbs and easily sidestepped the fingers that made a grab for his waist. He gave his husband a saucy wink as the familiar pull of a Room washed over his bones, Law's own smile growing wider when he heard Luffy release a snarl of frustration.

"Just a little too slow there, sweetheart. Not enough meat to get your motor running tonight, eh?"

Luffy had rolled out of the busted tree and was crouched low by that point, meeting Law's condescending snark with a toothy smile that held a spine-tingling amount of promises. "Oh, when I get my hands on you, I'm gonna—"

Law winked out of existence just as Luffy launched himself forward like a meteor, no doubt destroying several more trees and part of a hillside in the renewed pursuit of his wayward spouse. Fortunately for Law, his Room had been large enough to transport him all the way back to the party tables, Ikkaku's familiar voice catching his attention once he was whole again.

"Okay, whatever spice they used on this meat really needs to be..."

The engineer trailed off when she spotted her captain about ten feet to her right, eyes darting back and forth between him and the nearby woods. With a grumble of irritation, Ikkaku wasted no time in letting her opinion be known on her captain's sudden appearance and close proximity. To be honest, Law was a little disappointed that the only thing she threw at him was a wooden serving spoon.

"Nope, nope, no way am I getting involved in you and Luffy's nasty-ass sex games," said Ikkaku while picking up her food and looking around for another table or chair that was apparently a safe distance away. "I signed up for a lot of stuff when I joined your crew, but this," she gestured at Law's whole form, "Was most definitely not in the job description."

"The measure of your loyalty is astounding, Ikkaku."

She poked him in the shoulder as she walked by and said, "You can retrieve my loyalty card in the morning when your lunatic of a husband isn't rampaging all over the island after your scrawny ass. Until then, I'll be a couple hundred feet over that way, and hopefully outside of the splash zone, too."

At least five other members of Law's crew were beating an equally swift escape, all of them looking towards the woods with ominous frowns. The locals seemed to pick up on their skittish behavior, several grabbing their own plates and retreating to wherever the Heart Pirates had run off to. Several other crews from the Grand Fleet did the same thing, although Law could've done without the lewd thumbs-ups and wolf-whistles that accompanied their departures.

Apparently, Luffy's reputation for chasing his husband around like a rabid animal had preceded him. How bothersome...

Rather than turn a bunch of civilians into unwitting targets, Law decided to situate himself in a slightly more... well-prepared location. Following the sound of a familiar violin, it only took the doctor a few moments to find a nice waiting spot next to a ridiculously large oak tree, Brook waltzing around like the demented soul that he was. A large chunk of Luffy's fleet members were gathered nearby, all of them more than capable of handling their King's inevitable arrival with only a couple dozen bruises and hairline fractures to show for it.

Ah, yes, this would be the perfect location to—

"—pretty normal behavior for them. I wouldn't worry too much about it."

"Are you sure?"

"I mean, I'm not saying that they won't destroy a piece of property or twelve, but you don't need to worry about them hurting each other. It's all done in good, gross fun. Or whatever it is that gets their rocks off. I stopped trying to figure that particular part out right after they first got together, if I'm being honest."

"Well, I guess they do say that opposites attract."

Law heard the Straw Hats' navigator let out a long hum before saying, "I don't know if that's quite the best way to describe them. Personally, I've never seen either of those two knuckleheads show even the slightest bit of interest in anybody except each other. And everybody on our crew just says that Luffy is strictly Law-sexual. We didn't even think he had a deal before Law showed up. It was quite the surprise."

"Same goes for our captain."

Law could literally hear the smirk in Ikkaku's voice as she set her plate down and pulled out a chair, happily joining the small group of women that were gossiping about their captains' love lives. The traitor.

"I honestly didn't even think our captain was physically capable of flirting before I saw it with my own eyes on Zou. We'd never seen him show even the slightest trace of interest in anyone before that, and that was not for lack of trying from people in the bars. It was kinda creepy when it did actually happen, though. We all wondered if he'd tried out a new technique with his Devil Fruit and somehow switched personalities with someone else."

Hey, he wasn't that bad.

"And as I said, that's not saying that women and men didn't try to flirt with him, either. I know our captain has that whole homicidal doctor of death aura thing going on, but you'd be surprised by how many people find that kinda thing attractive," said Ikkaku around a mouthful of food. "So, yeah, death tattooed onto your hand and fingers, attractive. Telling the person flirting with you to buzz off and suck on a spiked sea cucumber, not so attractive."

Okay, maybe he was that bad. Whatever.

"It's always a mixed bag with our captain, but that's why we love him. He's a walking surprise and you never know when you're gonna get the fluffy teddy bear or the convulsing porcupine. Oh, is that apple crumble? Pass it over here!"

Law wasn't quite sure if he should be offended by Ikkaku's character assessment of him or not; Corazon had used a similar analogy to describe him once and Law was loathe to argue with it because of that.

"They're not going to destroy too much of the island, are they?"

Ah, yes, Law recognized that voice now. It was the silversmith's oldest daughter, the one who'd stood up to the World Noble's Marine lackeys when they'd threatened to burn down her mother's store. The girl had gumption, he'd give her that.

"Don't worry, they'll keep their chase out of the city and towns. Or at least Law will, and Luffy will be gunning for him, so any path of destruction should be well outside of residential areas. Those two know what'll happen if I have to pay for their reckless, lust-filled property damages again."

Nami punctuated this statement by slamming her fork into the table, or at least that's what it sounded like to Law. He'd managed to stay in the redhead's good books over the last few months, and if there was one thing that Law could agree with Zoro and Usopp about, it was that Nami could be an evil witch when it came to money. The last thing he wanted was for her to be harping down his neck about compounding interest rates again.

"I wouldn't be surprised if Law's already back and just hiding out somewhere nearby," said Ikkaku around another mouthful. Her table manners truly were atrocious. "He seems to get some level of joy out of letting Straw Hat run all over creation looking for him when he's actually right back where they started. You'd think the guy would learn after the first twenty or so times."

"Well, that's Luffy for you. Thick as an Adam tree and with only twice as many brain cells to boot."

Even from his hiding place behind the oak tree, Law could easily picture Nami snickering and rolling her eyes. It was such an ingrained and common reaction among the Straw Hats to just shrug and roll their eyes at Luffy's ridiculous antics that it had started rubbing off onto Law's own crew in recent years. He'd already lectured them at least a dozen times about how unwise it was to emulate the Straw Hats' chaotic lunacy, but his crew had become decidedly shrewd and cheeky as of late.

Not even decapitating them worked anymore. It was quite distressing.

"Hell, the boss probably has a gigantic Room raised all around us right now," said Ikkaku while slurping her drink like an obnoxious delinquent. "That way he can stay at least one or two steps ahead of Straw Hat and teleport back to the Sunny or the Tang without being noticed and grabbed by him."

"But wouldn't Luffy see the Room on his way here?"

"Not at night," said Nami. "The bluish color of Law's Rooms makes them almost impossible to see once it gets dark out."

"Sneaky."

"That's practically Law's middle name."

Ikkaku snickered before saying, "It's certainly better than his actual one. I mean, Law has a goddamned Devil Fruit. He can't even swim."

"The irony is kinda funny."

Okay, Law was feeling very attacked right now. And he was also feeling very tempted to switch Nami and Ikkaku's minds with one of their male crewmate's, specifically one of the perverts like Sanji or Penguin. It would serve them right for being such busybody gossips.

"Yeah, he's definitely got a Room raised," said Ikkaku. "See that very slight shimmer over there? That's it."

"I heard one of his crew members say that Captain Trafalgar controls everything that's in that blue bubble of his. Like an operating table." Law couldn't tell whether the girl was creeped out by his Ope-Ope abilities or not. "So, does that mean that he could cut us up into pieces and then shuffle us around right now? Like he did with all of those Marines?"

"Pretty much," said Nami. "If you're in his bubble, then you're in his range of control."

"That's kinda cool."

"I know, right! That's why most of our crew likes getting chopped up by him. It's our captain's way of showing his love."

Okay, Law was officially going to strangle Ikkaku when he got the first chance. There was no need to go around spouting crew secrets to random strangers. Especially the extra stupid ones. He was the Surgeon of Death, not the Surgeon of Circus Acts.

"I'm still not quite sure I buy that particular explanation," said Nami. "Don't you think it feels weird when you split into pieces?"

"A little bit," admitted Ikkaku, "But you do get used to it after a while. I mean, I prefer to stay in one piece myself, but Penguin and Shachi swear that they can feel the love whenever he decapitates them. Honestly, I think they just like the power that comes with being floating heads who can bite people at random, but it makes them happy, so whatever floats their demented little boats."

"Kinda reminds me of a jigsaw puzzle."

Huh, maybe these islanders weren't so bad after all. Law didn't come across many people who didn't find his Ope-Ope powers to be either creepy or terrifying. It was more than a little surp—

"Yohohohohohohohohoho!"

The sight of a cackling skeleton being launched across several tables and then getting stuck in a tree really should've caused Law to reconsider his life choices, or to at least ponder how the hell he'd managed to fall in with such a bizarre, amoeba-brained group of people. Instead, he decided to focus on something more important, like whether or not he could Shamble a couple bowls of candied walnuts and pecans off a nearby table without being seen by Ikkaku and her little gaggle of nosy-nellies. It would be annoying if they spotted him now.

Law was just about to make his candy-stealing move when an arm almost clobbered him in the head from above. He probably would've chopped it up with Kikoku if he didn't already know who it belonged to.

"Oh, hello there, good doctor."

"Bone-ya."

"Quite the strange place to be sitting. You're hiding out from Luffy, I'd suppose?"

"Mmhmm."

Thankfully, unlike most of the other Straw Hats, Brook had some degree of tact and common sense. The skeleton spoke in a low voice and appeared to have one foot stuck in the narrow juncture between two branches, dangling just out of sight of the table where Nami and Ikkaku were eating. Thanks to his abnormal height, Brook's afro was quite thoroughly stuck in the scraggly sticker bush that Law had chosen to sit beside, top hat and the little puff-puff balls he'd decorated it with rolling on the ground a few feet away from them.

"Does he have any chance of seeing your panties tonight?"

Law wasn't able to fully fight back a laugh before saying, "Well, that's kinda the plan. Or it will be if he ever decides to show up."

"Are they the ones with little hearts on them?"

"Bears."

"Oh, you've gotten quite adventurous then! It's always good to spice things up in the bedroom," said Brook with a solemn nod, "Keeps the relationship lively! Not that I'd know, what with me not being alive and all, yohohohoho!"

"I'll keep that in mind."

He didn't bother to point out the difference between boxer briefs and panties because that had never made much difference to Brook, who seemed to genuinely enjoy extolling the benefits of varied underwear to a happy marriage and healthy sex life. And unlike his female counterparts, Law didn't really give a shit if the perverted bag of bones got an eyeless peek at his undies; he'd already seen and treated the genitals and asses of almost every single member of the Straw Hat and Heart crews, so what was the big deal if they all knew that he liked print boxer briefs?

Plus, unlike certain other members of their pirate crews, Law had never gotten his dick stuck in the zipper of his own pants before. Honestly, it was downright amazing how guys who'd somehow—and by whatever gods were out there, he couldn't figure out how—managed to survive to adulthood couldn't even figure out how to safely protect their own genitals from a tiny strip of metal. He'd stopped counting how many times he had to treat someone for—

Crash!

Law Shambled himself about fifteen feet to the right, wholly expecting a bag of flailing and shrieking bones to crash down on his head if he didn't. But, to the doctor's surprise, Brook was still very much stuck in the tree. Hell, this seemed to surprise the skeleton too, who looked around in all directions before finally declaring, "Well, that most certainly wasn't me."

"Obviously."

"I'm still quite stuck. And getting attacked by a horde of fire ants. How rude."

"You have your own sword, don't you?"

"Of course, but then I might shred my pants or shoes!" said Brook. "And these are my favorite pair of pants and shoes. They're limited-edition Soul King memorabilia!"

"You've found yourself in quite the pickle then, Bone-ya."

The sound of another loud thunk immediately drew Law's attention, his eyes zeroing in on the large pile of crates that had been dumped several yards in front of them. A half-dozen empty kegs had been broken open and were now scattered about, their last dregs of alcohol disappearing into the parched soil. One had obviously been cut open with a sword.

Ah, yes, another drunken swordsman. Those were a beri-a-dozen in this part of the world.

"Ugh, I'm not nearly drunk enough for this kinda bullshit," grumbled a distressingly familiar voice. "Where'd that fuckin' barrel of whiskey go? I swear, I'm gonna nut-punch that fuckin' green-headed testicle if he drank all of it again."

Law and Brook just stared as Kid stomped on by like an alcohol-seeking zombie, the other captain angrily muttering to himself about idiotic alliances and rose-eating, pretty boy morons and the merits of chopping off his so-called allies' heads for drinking all of his favorite beers. He didn't even try to hold back a snicker when Kid ran straight into a bush, cussing loudly when the stickers got caught in his stupidly bright pants.

"What the hell do you want, monkey-fucker?"

Little bits of metal were floating all around Kid's head, one particularly large lug-nut just barely obscuring the distant figure that had burst out of the treeline. Luffy just stood there for a minute, stance spread wide and ready to pounce as he pivoted back and forth to scan the field for his wayward husband. A shiver went down Law's spine when the other man's dark eyes seemed to pass cluelessly over him for one—two—three—four seconds before shooting back to stare straight at Law's position beneath the towering oak.

"Nothing that you could ever hope to give me," said Law, eyes covertly watching his husband over Kid's left shoulder. "Or maybe I just enjoy feeding off of your misery, Eustass-ya."

If possible, Kid's nose scrunched up even further in disgust and irritation. It was a pretty standard response, largely because Law loved annoying the absolute shit out of the egotistical jackass whenever he was given the chance. To be honest, Law was surprised that Kid hadn't tried to throw several dozen knives, forks, and spoons at him yet.

It was bound to happen eventually.

Of course, there was also the little issue of Luffy and his absurdly destructive plans to capture Law. And those plans were obviously about to go sideways, if what Law was seeing came to fruition. With his husband sighted, Luffy apparently thought it was a good idea to wrap his arms around two tree limbs and then pull himself backwards about one hundred or so feet, essentially turning himself into a human slingshot.

Kid started ranting about the gigantic stick that was shoved all the way up Law's snooty little ass, but the doctor just tuned him out, instead focusing on the now rapidly approaching projectile that was his husband. If it had been anybody else, Law likely would've warned them about the rubber missile that was coming straight for them, but this was Eustass Kid, so...

"—and if you think for one fuckin' minute that I'm gonna just—"

"Shambles!"

"TORAO!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Law watched from a safe distance of about fifty feet as Luffy collided with Kid mid-sentence, effectively smashing both of them into the oak tree before bouncing into a pair of nearby tables that Law had previously been standing across from. Shrieks erupted from all around, locals tripping over pirates as they tried to avoid the bouncy ball of doom that was the Pirate King and his pissed off rival.

"Oh my goodness, that was downright devious of you, doctor!" said Brook from where he was still dangling upside down. "So very, very devious. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I likely wouldn't have believed it—not that I have eyes, of course! Yohohohohoho!"

All the skeleton received in response was a raised eyebrow.

"Then again," drawled Brook, now flailing about in another futile attempt to escape the tree, "I suspect that you had that planned all along, didn't you?"

"Luffy can be predictable at times."

And if there was one thing that was predictable, it was Luffy and Kid's unfailing ability to pick a verbal and/or physical fight with each other over pretty much anything. While Law had gradually slotted himself into Luffy's world as both long-suffering ally and much-loved husband, Kid had remained quite firmly at the rival stage, always embroiled neck-deep in some form of competition with the outrageous Pirate King.

Hence, why Law always used said rivalry as a great diversionary tactic. It never failed to work like an Alabastan charm.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Hey, don't blame me!" yelled Luffy from where he was trapped underneath Kid's bulk. "I was aiming for Torao, not you, Jaggy! You just got in my way!"

"Don't try pinnin' this on me, you brain-eatin' moron! That fuckin' husband of yours switched places with me like he always does!" Kid tried to free himself from Luffy's elongated limbs, but it was obviously a futile attempt as they just got more tangled instead. "But do you ever learn? No! You jus' charge right in like the asinine jackass that you are!"

"Hey, don't talk about Torao like that, you shitty-haired rust-bucket!"

A punch to said shitty-haired pirate's head was all it took for total war to break out, Luffy and Kid wrestling like a pair of frenzied gerbils as everyone else just tried to avoid them. Law didn't even try to hide his smirk of approval, silently drifting back into the crowd as their respective crews attempted to pry Luffy and Kid apart without causing too much damage. Or taking too much damage, as poor Usopp learned the hard way.

"Should I assume that you're responsible for this?"

"Of course."

"And should I also assume that you don't feel even the slightest bit of guilt about it?"

"Nope."

Jimbei pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was in physical pain, one large hand reaching out to pat Law on the shoulder before he went over to disentangle the tussling captains. While everybody else was busy and distracted, Law helped himself to the bowl of salted pecans and chocolate-covered raisins he'd been eyeing earlier, contentedly munching on them while also enjoying the show his husband was putting on.

After getting pulled apart by Jimbei and Killer, the two captains were now standing about twenty feet across from each other, both sporting matching snarls as steam periodically came out of their noses. And considering how much their behavior could be like a raging bull's, Law found the comparison to be a pretty apt description. It also helped that Luffy and Kid were now of comparable height and build, with the younger having gone through an immense growth spurt over the last few years. Apparently, men in the Monkey family tended not to bulk up until their mid-twenties, as Garp had proudly pointed out when the newspapers first started commenting on how much the Pirate King was resembling his legendary grandfather.

"That damned Devil Fruit of his might've slowed it down a bit, but the brat was bound to catch up eventually," Garp had said. "Don't know if he's gonna get quite as tall as me or his dad, though. Maybe a head or so shorter? Just gonna have to wait and see, I guess."

As it turned out, Garp hadn't been too far off with his estimate since Luffy now stood eye-to-eye with Kid, putting him several inches taller than Zoro, Sanji, and his own husband. The Pirate King had gotten much broader too, which Law and Chopper both believed was thanks to a combination of genetics and the semi-regular training with seastone cuffs that Luffy had taken up after Wano. Suppressing his Devil Fruit for short periods of time had not only immensely improved Luffy's Haki control, but it'd also allowed his body to catch up with several growth spurts and develop in a more natural manner.

So, yeah, Law was quite a bit shorter and thinner than his husband nowadays. It'd irritated him somewhat at first, but he'd grown accustomed to the change over the last few years.

"Captain..."

Law glanced to his left, spotting a rather unamused looking Hakugan only a couple feet away. As one of the quieter and more level-headed members of his crew, Hakugan often served as a voice of reason, and Law valued his advice on a whole host of subjects. Unfortunately, he also tended to be a major buzz-kill when it came to Law's more impulsive behaviors, as was happening right now.

"Hmmm, I suppose I could help hurry things along a bit. After all, we wouldn't want to ruin the party for everyone else, now would we?"

Hakugan didn't dignify that with an answer.

"You've been practicing that glare with Ikkaku, haven't you?" Hakugan just continued to stare. "Okay, alright, I'm getting to it."

Law walked in the general direction of their docked ships and then turned around to survey everyone's current positions around the field. Most of the Kid and Straw Hat pirates were busy trying to keep their captains from tackling each other into any more tables, the Barto Club were all cheering Luffy on from the sidelines, most other members of the Grand Fleet and many of the locals were just trying to eat their meals in peace, and the Heart Pirates were all watching Law with expressions that ranged from entertained to exasperated. The drinking contests were still raging on as if nothing had happened, and Law was pretty sure that was Zoro passed out atop several empty kegs, Cavendish and Sai both looking like they were less than half a pint away from joining him.

Ah, yes, he could work with this.

"Shambles!"

The party field erupted into shrieks and shouts as several dozen pirates from various crews were suddenly chopped up into pieces, heads and arms and lower body parts floating around in the air like some kind of macabre snow-globe. Law made sure not to involve any civilians in their mayhem, but anyone who was a pirate was fair game. Two of Law's own crew members whooped as their upper bodies went whirling past, one even giving his captain a thumbs up before nearly colliding with a flailing Happo Navy crewmen.

"Laaaaaaw!"

Baby-5 waved at him from a nearby table, happily observing her husband's crew as they zoomed around like angry pigeons. And as usual, she gave him a conspiring wink, unfailingly convinced that marriage gave them a new connection that few others understood.

So, also in typical fashion, Law headed in the opposite direction and pretended that he didn't see her.

A thin layer of sweat broke out on Law's brow when he felt two particularly large waves of Haki push back against his telekinesis, eyes scrunching shut when it took all of his mental strength and discipline to keep them both under control. Law knew that he needed to move fast, having maybe forty seconds or so before the worst of the Worst Generation broke loose and barreled down on him like a pair of ferocious hyenas, albeit with very different purposes in mind. So, with a flick of his fingers, Law sent one flying into the furthest treeline while drawing the other towards himself.

If nothing else, Law could at least use the metal-headed idiot's aggression to his advantage. For the second time that night. It might only buy him a few minutes at most, but Kid's ability to continuously pick a fight with Luffy—even when nothing more than a disembodied head—was something that Law would be willing to bet good money on. There was simply no way that Kid would allow his rival to dash past without getting one last bite in.

Ah, and there he was...

"You Big Mom-fuckin' piece of shit!" snarled Kid's head from where it was floating over a bowl of potato omelets. "I hope that bastard fucks you over so hard that you won't be able to walk for a week!"

Law winked at him and said, very quietly, "That's the idea, Eustass-ya."

The other pirate looked like he'd just swallowed a plateful of dead cockroaches, making loud gagging noises and bitching about demented rubber men and psychotic doctors as Law raised what would hopefully be his last Room of the night. The Thousand Sunny and rebuilt Polar Tang were docked just offshore from the fields and beaches that had been used to host the Straw Hats' victory party, so it would be easy for him to teleport directly onto either of them.

And teleporting was definitely looking more and more like a good idea, if only because Luffy had finally managed to escape Law's spatial manipulations by unleashing a sharp burst of Conqueror's Haki, and Law could physically feel his husband's intense gaze when it fell upon him.

"Shambles!"

Notes:

And the story continues to write itself. In case anyone was wondering, I've based Luffy's adult appearance and build (25-years-old here) almost entirely on Oda's own canon depictions in SBS Volume 89, where Luffy looks more and more like a combination of Shanks and Garp as he gets older. By the time he's 40, Luffy is almost identical to his grandpa at the same age. And I like my Luffy to be badass and crazy like his canon self, so don't be expecting any type of wimpy Luffy here.

Also, poor Law, his husband's idea of foreplay is both bizarre and exhausting. Dude just can't catch a break.

Chapter 3

The Thousand Sunny was empty when Law teleported aboard its upper decks. With several of Orlumbus' crew rotating through lookout shifts for the Grand Fleet, all of the Straw Hats and Heart pirates had been able to attend the island party without concern of upcoming duties, so Law wasn't surprised to find himself all alone on the happily bopping flagship.

Well, aside from Laboon, but the giant whale was too busy snoozing in the warm, gentle waters to notice Law's arrival.

A pair of lantern sconces were all that illuminated the deck, giving off just enough light to show a small pile of rocks lying next to the Sunny's main mast, purposely left there to serve as a teleportation base for the captain's husband. Seven more piles were located strategically around the ship, allowing Law to warp from one position to another with ease in the event of an attack. Or due to Luffy annoying the shit out of him. To be truthful, the latter was far more likely to happen than the former, as Law pointed out on a semi-regular basis.

Before disappearing into the bowels of the ship, Law rummaged through his pockets and added a couple new rocks to the outdoor piles, replenishing his supply just in case the Marines or enemy pirates caught up to them. One could never be too careful when the Straw Hats were involved.

It took Law less than a minute to reach his and Luffy's shared bedroom, and he wasn't even two steps through the door before he tripped over something and nearly broke his neck on that godforsaken, ugly-ass hatstand that Luffy loved so much. With a foul-mouthed curse, Law fumbled around for their bedside table like a complete idiot, hands and eyes desperately searching for the polar bear-shaped lamp that he knew was only a few feet away. Apparently, in Luffy's infinite wisdom, he'd seen fit to not open the curtains this morning, effectively leaving whoever returned first to stumble around in the dark. Typical...

"I'm gonna kick his goddamned rubbery ass," snarled Law when his foot got caught on a bedpost. "Just once—once!—is it too much to ask for him to pick up his fucking clothes?!"

It took two clumsy attempts for Law to find the switch, but once the lamp was turned on and the room bathed in a soft golden light, he was finally able to observe the giant mess of dirty clothes that his husband had left strewn all over their bedroom floor. There was even a pair of pants dangling from the ceiling fan, swinging forlornly in the humid nighttime air. With a sigh of frustration, Law gathered up the mess and just tossed it into their hamper, far too wound up to concern himself with laundry right now.

"We're gonna need to hire a fucking maid service if he gets any grosser," grumbled Law as he took off his shoes. "You'd think asking him to put away his own damned underwear and socks was the worst thing in—ugh..."

A pair of boxer briefs hung from one corner of the curtain rod, adorned with cartoony straw hats and little swords that were a well-known staple of Bart's merchandise empire. They even had a little charm of the Sunny's figurehead sewn onto the front.

Law was sorely tempted to burn them.

However, instead of taking retribution out on his husband's underwear, Law decided to focus on getting everything ready for the incoming hurricane that would surely arrive in mere minutes. He opened the curtains and window to let some damned natural light and air into the room before Shambling several fragile medical tools and journals to safer positions away from the bed and nightstands.

Once he'd hung up his coat in their shared wardrobe, Law quickly straightened up the disaster that was their bed, a strange lump on the bottom left corner turning out to be one of Luffy's mangled sandals. How it'd ended up there was anyone's guess, but Law added it to his mental list of 'Unsanitary Things to Discuss with his Stupid, Disgusting Husband When He was Least Expecting It.'

That list was getting ridiculously long as the months went by.

With a wary sniff, Law threw several more pieces of clothing into the hamper, making sure to keep the questionable socks well away from his body. An array of photos and portraits stared down at him from the wall beside their wardrobe, silently judging him for marrying such a tremendous slob. One of said photos was a hand-drawn portrait of Law's parents and sister, lovingly detailed and colored by Franky and Robin's hands for his and Luffy's first wedding anniversary. The archaeologist and shipwright had apparently been approached by Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin about re-creating the old, torn photo that was the only visual reminder their captain had of his birth family.

Robin, in her usual wisdom and tact, had made sure to give Law and Luffy the gift well after their anniversary party was over and the Straw Hat's guests had returned to their own ships. Which had proven to be a good choice on her part, because Law had never come so close to crying as he had when she and Franky had presented him with the beautiful portrait.

For once, Luffy hadn't said anything, instead just hugging the other man and excusing them from what had remained of their respective crews. Shockingly, his husband could be tactful when the situation called for it. Well, sometimes, at least.

And then there were the two picture frames on either side of the Trafalgar family portrait, both gifts from Sengoku for Law's twenty-eighth birthday. More than a dozen photos of Corazon—or Rosinante, as Law always needed to remind himself—were organized into an age-progression collage on each frame, the left showing Corazon from about age seven to fifteen while the right showed pictures of him when he was older, mostly after he joined the Marines.

No goofy-ass make-up, no stupid clown outfit, no fake facial expressions, just genuine smiles and open-mouthed laughter and dopey finger signs. Typical Rosinante, Sengoku had said.

And right below Law's family and crew photos were Luffy's, scattered about and stuck to the wall in a much more haphazard fashion compared to his husband's. Aside from the obvious choice of the Straw Hats themselves, Luffy's section was filled to bursting with a bunch of old pictures he'd received from Makino during their visit to Foosha Village last year, with pride of place going to one that showed Luffy, Sabo, and Ace sitting atop a gigantic, beat-up tiger-thing. All three were missing several teeth and looked like they'd just been run over by a lawn mower, but their smiling faces showed just how happy Luffy had been with his brothers on that quiet little island in the East Blue.

Law pointedly ignored the big picture of Garp with his pants pulled down around his ankles, locked in battle with some type of gigantic bear over a half-eaten fish while also mooning a good chunk of the village with his hairy ass cheeks. How that situation had come to be, Law hadn't a clue, but he did know that he didn't plan on asking Luffy any time soon.

There were some secrets just better left to the dustbin of Monkey family history.

And yes, that was a wise bit of advice Sengoku had given Law when he'd married into that insane bulldozer of a so-called family. Not that Law's adoptive grandfather had much of a pedestal to stand on himself; after all, he was best friends with Garp and sometimes joined in the other man's antics, as evidenced by the photo of them competitively eating several dozen stacks of crackers, crumbs all over the table and fancy carpet and cheeks puffed out like a pair of irritable old chipmunks.

The fact that they'd apparently done this in Akainu's office when he'd been away from Marineford was pretty damned funny, though.

After giving their stupid grandfathers the middle finger, Law finished removing his socks, threw them in the laundry basket like any reasonable person would, and then deposited his hat atop that godawful hatstand. For perhaps the hundredth time, Law was tempted to Shamble the damned thing straight into the ocean, but Luffy had stolen it from the Red Haired Pirates' ship, so it was a Shanks-special and therefore safe—for the time being, at least—from Law's resentful wrath.

Of course, if it accidentally fell into the path of Zoro's swords one of these days, then there would be nothing for it and the monstrosity would just have to be scrapped with the weekly garbage. Oh, what a horrid, horrid tragedy that would be.

No longer able or willing to look at the ugly thing, Law wandered over to their nightstand and picked up some of the repair notes that Bepo and Ikkaku had left for him earlier in the day. The clock was ticking and Law knew better than to have anything important or dangerous in his hands when he inevitably ended up being tackled by Hurricane Luffy. He'd learned that lesson the hard way on multiple occasions, including one that involved an oxygen tank, a medical gurney, and one of Nami's tangerine trees.

Luffy was lucky to still be among the living after that particular incident.

Then again, Law might just solve that little among-the-living problem himself if that rubber-brained glutton of a Pirate King didn't get his thrice-damned ass onto this ridiculous hunk of wood and finish the maniacal little game that he'd started. The surgeon had better things to do than twiddle his thumbs and clean up the younger man's disaster of a bedroom.

"I should just Shamble myself to one of those caves we passed by on the north coast and spend the rest of the night catching up on my sleep," grumbled Law when he checked the clock. "Let him treat his own blue balls. It'd serve him right."

As it turned out, Law had exactly seven minutes to himself before he heard a loud thud come from the Sunny's upper decks, an anxious shiver running down his spine when he realized that their childish game of chase was finally over.

"Torao..."

It was astounding how fast and stealthy Luffy could be when he actually put his mind to it. After all these years, you'd think Law would've been used to it by now, considering their deeply intertwined personal and professional relationships. However, it appeared that even the ever-paranoid Trafalgar Law could still be taken by surprise from time to time, as was clear when he jumped at the sound of Luffy's voice right next to his ear.

"I caught you, Torao."

He didn't even have time to snark or raise a Room before Luffy's hands were tightly gripping his hips, easily pulling him towards the half-open window that Luffy had very quickly and quietly climbed through without him noticing. Law's desk was positioned right below it, piles of neatly organized papers and utensils scattering as the Pirate King flopped down and pulled Law straight into his waiting lap.

"No, you di—"

Law would've gladly argued on his own behalf if Luffy hadn't decided to shove his tongue down his throat mid-sentence, one hand coming to support Law's lower back while the other gripped the nape of his neck. More eager than he was willing to admit, Law couldn't hold back a moan when Luffy pulled him flush against his front, an ankle hooking around the back of his knee to hold him in place.

"You taste like sugar and pecans!" declared Luffy with a wide smile when he finally broke the kiss. "And rice and tuna." He licked his lips and gave Law a sloppy kiss on the nose. "I like it!"

"And you taste like meat."

Luffy licked at a sensitive spot behind Law's left ear and said, "But that's the best thing to taste like! And Sanji's Sea King burgers are sooooooo good. Even you have to admit that, Mr. Picky-Eater."

"It would be nice if you'd eat less of that awful hot sauce with them, though."

"But I like how it tickles..."

With a grimace, Law ran his tongue over the interior of his cheeks and gums, just now beginning to feel the telltale tingle that always came from Luffy's post-hot sauce kisses. It was the main reason why Law tended to avoid the Pirate King after large feasts or parties; Luffy had absolutely no qualms about displaying his very loud and very loving affection towards Law for all the world to see, often grabbing the doctor in a running, kiss-filled tackle once his monstrous stomach was full of his first meaty meal of the evening.

"And I know that you like how it tastes, too."

Before Law could retort with another smartass remark, Luffy's arm tightened around his waist, tugging him in further and kissing him deeply while also lifting a hand to press against the doctor's stubbly cheek. Law didn't even try to hold back a moan of approval, all complaints flying out of his head when Luffy reached down to grab a handful of his ass, roughly grinding their clothed erections together as he tried to devour Law's very soul through their mouths. It was messy and drooly and probably would've sounded obscene to anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby, but Law was more than used to his husband's ravenous over-enthusiasm when it came to kissing or licking every part of his body.

"Torao's so pretty," said Luffy as he kissed down Law's neck, biting small pieces of skin here and there while also shoving a hand down the back of his pants. "It's not fair, how pretty Torao always is."

A pair of fingers immediately sought out Law's hole, lightly teasing the puckered flesh as the rest of Luffy's hand kneaded his asscheeks like a pile of fresh dough. And yes, Luffy had word-for-word compared Law's ass to a delicious pile of Sanji's sweet roll dough on multiple occasions, so it was a painfully apt description for what the Pirate King thought of his husband's posterior assets.

"I'm hungry, Torao."

Teeth scraped along his collarbone before turning into wet-tongued kisses that followed his tattoos down, and down, and finally ended at his left nipple. Luffy latched onto it with gusto, free hand reaching around to support Law's arched back while also grinding their clothed erections together to create some much needed friction. Law didn't even try to hold back his moans, hips rotating forward hard as Luffy switched from one nipple to the next, seemingly unable to decide which he wanted to lavish the most attention on.

And then the bastard had the gall to fucking bite him, teeth clamping down on the sensitive skin like it was some kind of candy. Law would've smacked him upside the head if Luffy hadn't surged forward at the exact same moment, nearly tipping the poor doctor backwards as the finger he had been teasingly rubbing over Law's hole pushed in to the first knuckle.

"Luffy!"

"You taste so good, Torao." The other pirate nipped at Law's collarbone, tongue following the black line to his left shoulder before moving up to suck at a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear. "And you have too many clothes on. It's not fair."

"Then take them off, you dolt."

Normally, Law would've laughed at the plaintive whine in Luffy's voice, if only because of how ridiculous the very idea was after Luffy had consumed several metric-tons of food at the feast. However, now was definitely not the time for laughing, as Law learned when he was picked up and unceremoniously tossed onto their bed like a sack of potatoes.

The collar of Law's lightweight shirt had already been stretched to the point of sagging, so Law didn't bother to complain when Luffy impatiently pulled it over his head and then chucked it over his shoulder without a second thought. However, he did smack Luffy upside the head when he pulled a little too hard on his earrings. Contrary to what many people probably assumed, Law didn't much enjoy pain either in bed or his marriage; he'd had more than enough pain, both of the physical and emotional variety, throughout his life and had no desire to replicate those past experiences with Luffy.

Besides, unlike almost everyone else on either of their crews, Law's parents had had a long and happy marriage that involved frequent displays of affection both with each other and towards their children. Law and Lami had never wonted for love, and Law had no problem admitting to himself that he often tried to mirror some of his parents' habits in his own marriage.

Such as when his father would lightly run his nails up and down his mother's arms after a long shift at the hospital or just because he thought she'd like it. Law hadn't understood it at the time, but now, with Luffy looming over him and smiling that hungry yet soft smile of his, Law could definitely see the merits of a little nail massage.

"Shishishishi, you know I'm ticklish, Torao!"

"And your point is?" said Law, smugly admiring the goosebumps that had risen up all over his husband's skin. "I thought you liked it when I did this?"

"I do."

Luffy surged forward after that, hands grabbing at the zipper of Law's jeans while his mouth latched onto the bottom point of his heart tattoo. A deep groan ripped its way out of the doctor's throat, both legs flying up into the air as Luffy pulled his pants off and then buried his nose and entire face into Law's crotch with an obscenely satisfied sniff.

"Nice undies."

"You're the one who bought them for—ah!"

What could only be described as a shit-eating leer spread across Luffy's face, dark eyes locked with Law's as he mouthed and sucked at the other man's clothed cock. A finger brushed along the inner band of Law's underwear, purposely teasing along his sensitive perineum before moving further back, Luffy's other hand holding down the doctor's hips whenever they tried to push further into his touch.

"I know I did."

Luffy pulled down the waistband of the polar bear-themed briefs and engulfed his husband's leaking cock all in one go, left hand bracing across Law's stomach to keep him in place while his right hand finished removing the last stitch of clothing from Law's person. A deep groan of relief ripped itself from the doctor's throat, eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head when he felt Luffy pull off with a loud pop before immediately moving lower to his exposed hole. To say that Luffy had an oral fixation with Law's body would've been a vast understatement, if only because Luffy tended to spend at least two-thirds of any sexual encounter with his mouth sucking and biting and licking at every inch of Law he could reach.

"You're all sweaty and salty, Torao," said Luffy, breath molten hot against Law's most sensitive of areas. "Tastes so good."

Before Law could get any kind of retort out of his mouth, Luffy dove forward, tongue licking straight up inside Law's ass, right hand gripping his cheeks and spreading him wide. Within only a few seconds, Luffy's face was just buried in there, licking and probing with hot wet enthusiasm and no small amount of skill. And then that god-damned rubber tongue started to stretch, pushing deeper and deeper until it inevitably hit that sweet spot inside of him that always—

Law screamed.

He arched his back and screamed, head tilted back at an almost demonic angle. His hands scrabbled at the sheets, instinctively trying to both push towards and away from the warmth and pressure of Luffy's absolutely ludicrous tongue. "Stop—stop! Not yet—shit, not yet!"

Luffy only heeded Law's warning to the extent that he stopped probing at the other man's prostate, tongue barely retreating more than an inch or so as he continued to devour his husband alive. The other man squirmed in response, one hand gripping the sheets while the other came down to grip the back of Luffy's head, which was moving this way and that as the Pirate King enjoyed his second feast of the night.

Not for the first time, Law wondered where the bones in his body had gone. He felt like his limbs had melted straight off, breaths coming in frantic puffs as Luffy licked and nipped at Law's ass cheeks before moving back to continue torturing his hole. It was always obscene, how good this felt. Luffy was as aggressive in the bedroom as he was in every other aspect of his life, but Law's comfort and pleasure was also always at the forefront of the Pirate King's mind, which would probably come as a surprise to most people.

"Goddamnit, Luffy..."

He gasped as the tongue ran up his hole and along his perineum again, the next "Luffy" nearly incoherent thanks to the slick heat that seemed to settle deep within in place of his bones. Law tried to focus on that, the sensation, not the final outcome. Not yet.

Sharp teeth grazed his inner thigh and Law barely managed to choke out a pathetic, "Shit, you know not to—shit, don't even—ugh, fuck—"

Eyes hooded with pleasure, Law could just picture Luffy grinning down there, hips twitching at the mental image. He always did this, the torturous teasing. It usually ended in Law clawing at the other man's head, threatening his manhood if Luffy didn't move things along right now.

Panting as if he'd just ran several miles, Law clawed at the other pirate's hair when his tongue pushed in deep once again, assaulting Law's prostate for a few seconds before pulling back and then returning a half-minute later. The hand that'd previously been tearing at the sheets now came up to cover Law's eyes, a small trail of drool escaping his mouth as Luffy drove him closer and closer to orgasm. The bastard brought a whole new meaning to the definition of tongue-fucking, and no matter how much he tried to resist, Law could never stop the act from turning him into a puddle of grumpy goo at the Pirate King's feet.

"Do you want me to stop?" Luffy's voice was a low purr, sending vibrations through Law's tingling skin. "I'll stop, if you tell me to, Torao."

The sanctimonious bastard licked Law's hole again, a broad sweep of tongue while his fingers gently massaged the muscles of Law's cheeks. But then Luffy dragged his mouth down again, and Law shivered as he felt him nuzzle and then lick at Law's balls, pushing Law's thighs even wider as he kneaded them. Ignoring the sharp burn in his thighs was easier than it should be, Law well aware that his overwhelmed nerve cells weren't firing correctly thanks to the absurd levels of dopamine and serotonin that his brain was pumping out.

"Fuck—aah!"

By Doflamingo's STD-ridden balls, Law could literally feel Luffy grinning against him now. The goddamned bastard was literally chewing on a piece of his sensitive inner thigh and smirking like a sadistic maniac.

"Too much?"

"If you stop... I'll kill you."

"Well, that's an overreaction." Luffy lightly traced along his balls before reaching up to nip and kiss at the inside of Law's left knee. "Maybe I should stop if that's your attitude. I am your king, after all."

"That's bullshit and you fucking know it."

Luffy shrugged and then said with an irreverent smile, "I know, and I like you like that."

And there came The Blush—as Nami oh so kindly called it—that always cropped up whenever Luffy said something ridiculously sentimental or sweet without a second thought. The crazy man had almost no brain-to-mouth filter when it came to proclaiming his affections, and sometimes he just popped out with something that made Law feel like self-combusting on the spot.

It was more than a little ironic, that Law still found it more embarrassing for Luffy to profess how much he loved him than to, you know, have said man between his legs doing all types of terrible, debauched things to his person. And in his usual cheeky manner, Luffy spared his husband one last upward glance, grinned at what he saw, and tugged Law's narrow hips right where he wanted them and then swallowed him whole.

"Augh!"

Law threw his head back. The sensation, the sight, nearly did him in right then and there. Luffy's head between his legs, Law's hands clinging to his soft hair, stubble scratching the sensitive skin of his pelvis, and dear God, that wet heat of Luffy's mouth. Law wished he could have thrust up, wanted to more than anything, but Luffy had him quite securely pinned, so he just gripped at his husband's hair instead, urging him to keep moving. One of Luffy's hands stroked over Law's hip and circled the base of his cock to hold him in place. It left Law whining and writhing beneath him.

"Oh God—Luffy..."

Thankfully, sucking wasn't the only thing on Luffy's mind, because right when Law thought he might just strangle his husband for moving at a mushi's pace, he felt a firm and damp pressure against his asshole. Hips twitching with anticipation, the older pirate didn't even try to hold back an impatient groan when Luffy continued to merely press against his ass, fingers teasing in a way that Law wasn't willing to tolerate tonight.

"For the love of God, get inside me or I will use my Devil Fruit and pin you down and ride you myself."

If he'd wanted to encourage Luffy, he succeeded. Luffy's middle finger pushed in to the second knuckle and his mouth started moving even faster, one arm snaking underneath Law's hips to bring him closer and trap him in place. Law could feel the sharp pressure of nails digging into his skin and a relentless longing behind the heat and wet glide of tongue.

"C'mon, Torao, I want you to look at me." Luffy smirked and gave a grand show of taking his lips and tongue up to Law's tip, making sure to get his full attention. His hand slid upward along Law's belly as well, holding the doctor steady while his tongue dipped in between the head of Law's cock and the foreskin. "You always taste so good. You're my favorite meat!"

Law's face was practically on fire by this point, cheeks so flushed that he was a little worried that he'd have an aneurysm from so much blood going to only two specific places. But unlike the early days of their marriage, Law was able to meet Luffy's eyes without too much embarrassment or hesitation, stomach dipping and churning at the sight of the hunger that lay within them.

Content now that he had his husband's undivided attention, Luffy tucked his fingers together and started steadily rocking into Law's hole, always mindful of the width and depth that was required to properly stretch him out. It had been more than a month since the Sunny and Polar Tang had last ran into each other, and neither man had much of a sex drive when living without the other, so it was an easy conclusion for Luffy to make that Law would need more time to stretch and adjust tonight. He may have been hungry for Law, and they both liked it rough and intense most of the time, but if Luffy were to cause his husband the slightest bit of discomfort or pain, he'd never forgive himself.

"Please tell me..." Law gasped when Luffy teased his prostate, "You're not using that awful lube... from Jelly Island."

"But it tastes like piña colada!"

Law didn't even try to hold back an eye-roll as he said, "You don't even like piña coladas."

"I do when I can eat them off of you," said Luffy, purposely placing a warm, wet kiss on Law's cock before moving down to mouth at where his fingers were thrusting into Law's hole. "They taste a hundred times better this way."

"That doesn't even... make any sense."

"It does to me."

The impossibility of eating a cocktail drink off of a human body didn't seem to cause any dissonance in Luffy's mind, and Law really wasn't in a position to have any type of argument with him, so he decided to just give up while the giving up was good. The fact that Luffy had added both a third finger and his tongue to stretching Law's hole might've had something to do with it as well.

Arguing really wasn't possible when you couldn't even string two words together.

"Luffy." It hadn't been half a minute of that shallow teasing, and Law was close to tears. His knees were shaking. The pink flush reached down his neck to his chest, and his toes were curling in the air. "Luffy, that's— that's enough. I want you."

"Nope. Not ready yet."

The other pirate's hand arched after that, and his fingertips rubbed slow and hard against Law's prostate without ever pulling away from it. A retort caught in Law's throat, black blotches dancing across his vision when Luffy sharply twisted his fingers in a way that nearly made him scream. And then Luffy pulled back, deliberate and decisive, wholly aware that he was driving Law out of his mind.

It wasn't long before Law couldn't even speak anymore. He was just gasping, overwhelmed by Luffy's fingers and mouth. His whole body flushed, tingles running down his neck and back and shoulders, settling somewhere at the base of his stomach. And damn, Law wasn't going to last long at this rate. Already, he could feel the rising climax building with every bob of Luffy's head, every stroke of his hand and swipe of his tongue. The suction of his mouth was incredible and the press of his fingers deep and mind-numbing.

Fucking hell, it was so unfair how Luffy could torture him like this. The Straw Hat captain had always had a fascination with sticking his tongue into weird places, and it wasn't unusual for Law to threaten to never kiss him again if he licked this cave wall or bit that treasure chest. It was an age-old argument in their marriage that could be heard by any unfortunate soul that wandered by and—

And—

Luffy swallowed his husband's cock down to the root at the exact same moment he pushed a fourth finger inside, twisting and scissoring and thrusting in the exact way that Law's body always craved. The other pirate's tongue wrapped around his cock like a molten-hot coil, Devil Fruit in full effect as he tried to short-circuit Law's brain from both ends.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Law knew that he was definitely going to be feeling this in the morning. Luffy's hunger was almost frantic, a beast that needed to be tamed before he could pass out into a blissful sleep. And Law was his evening meal, a five-course banquet that he would pick clean of every morsel before patting his gluttonous belly with a happy belch and declaring that he'd be back for seconds and maybe even thirds sometime tomorrow.

Law gripped his hands tight in Luffy's hair, probably too tight, but he felt no trace of irritation or reluctance from Luffy. If anything, it seemed to spur the other man on, fingers moving at a relentless pace that left Law desperate for some type, any type, of release.

"Goddamnit," Law whined before it was too late. "Luffy, I'm gonna—argh!"

Luffy's head moved underneath Law's fingers, but not away. He tilted until he could see Law's face and their eyes met. Law could literally feel his determination in the same instance, Luffy's monstrous Haki leaking out as he watched Law fall apart, intent to feel and taste it. The Pirate King wasn't going to release him and he wasn't going to slow down, either.

Everything in Law tightened all at once. He could feel the blood rush south. Every muscle in his body felt paralyzed. He couldn't let go even though he had to be hurting Luffy. And then he was coming with a cry and a whimper. Heat flowed from his body and into Luffy's, and Law was drowning with nothing to pull him up except the crazy man beneath him.

But it was good this time. So good.

A flare of Haki washed over Law, soothing him with its familiarity and protective power. It almost had a triumphant feel to it, as if Luffy was sending out a signal to show that there was no longer any line that separated them. With one last coherent thought, Law pushed back with his own substantial Haki, trying to convey everything he felt before the sensations completely overwhelmed him.

Luffy shuddered in response.

Even with the orgasm rocketing through him, Law knew that his hands were gripping Luffy's hair tight enough to hurt, but the Pirate King didn't seem to care. Not with the way Law looked, or the bitter taste of him on his tongue, or with the projection of Law's Haki flowing over him, and Luffy making sure that Law could feel every bit of his own in return.

Breath coming in gasping pants, Law slowly returned to the living world once the worst of his orgasm receded. Both of his arms and legs flopped down onto the bed, completely boneless and vulnerable as Luffy finished sucking him clean, only releasing Law when he began to flinch from over-sensitivity. And per usual, Luffy took his good ol' time kissing and licking and biting at every inch of Law's body as he crawled up the bed, paying special attention to the other pirate's nipples and tattoos as he fought to get his breath back.

Once he was finished sucking a deep bruise into Law's neck, Luffy pulled up to just stare down at Law for a moment in abject fondness and lust, before finally bowing his head low to kiss him. His tongue immediately invaded Law's mouth—he wanted the doctor to taste himself, to feel the evidence that Luffy had caused him, the self-admitted king of all control freaks, to unravel. Law couldn't hold back a whimper, nipping plaintively at Luffy's lips as he shifted them around to a better position on the bed.

"You were a lot tighter than usual, Torao," Luffy whispered to him, fitting his waist between Law's thighs, "But I think you're ready now."

The two fingers that Luffy had kept motionless in Law's hole slowly retreated, leaving the doctor feeling empty and cold. Luffy swallowed Law's groan with a soothing kiss, quickly hooking his legs around Luffy's back as he still struggled to catch his breath. Luffy worked with one hand while the other steadied himself on the mattress, and after he slicked himself with a generous amount of lube from their nightstand jar, he pressed the head of his cock between his husband's thighs.

"I think... the whole island might've... felt that one."

"Shishishishi, then they know why I'm really the King of the Pirates!" cackled Luffy, face split by a wide and proud grin that Law would've normally smacked right off of it. "C'mon, stop holding your breath, Torao. I need you to breathe for me."

With that said, Luffy leaned down to bite at the base of Law's neck while also rocking forward, easily pushing the first few inches of his cock into Law's loosened hole. Luffy continued to kiss and bite the curve of his neck and shoulders before eventually burying his face in Law's sweaty hair as his hips continued forward, meeting no signs of resistance or tension the entire way.

Law didn't put up any type of fight as his knees were pulled almost parallel to his shoulders, leaving him completely open to Luffy's mercies. Thankfully, those mercies were exactly what Law wanted, a familiar ache settling low in his belly as Luffy pulled back and then pressed in a little further each time, encouraging Law to meet his slow thrusts and welcome him even deeper. When Luffy's hips finally made full contact with Law's, buried completely inside him, Law released the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding and allowed his heels to rest against the middle of Luffy's back.

"I love you, Law."

Drunk with pleasure and anticipation, Law opened his eyes to find Luffy staring right down at him, un-lubed hand resting gently just under Law's chin. The other man's face was so unbearably soft that it was almost painful to look at. You could say a lot of things about Monkey D. Luffy, both good and bad, but his capacity to love was something that still astounded Law to this very day. Luffy's love was so warm and all-encompassing at times that Law almost felt burned by it, just like in that old story his grandmother used to tell him and Lami about the boy who flew too close to the sun.

When Luffy loved someone, be it familial, platonic, or romantic, he always did it with his whole heart. From the moment they'd met at the Sabaody Archipelago to their rather traumatic reunion at Marineford to the shaky beginning of their lifelong alliance at Punk Hazard, Law had felt the power behind Luffy's affectionate friendship and eventual passionate love, even if he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it until Luffy quite literally threw that budding love right into his scowling face.

But now, with several years of determined yet patient love between them, Law didn't have any trouble or hesitation in saying, "I love you, too," right back to Luffy. It was more breathless than he'd prefer, but Luffy would just have to deal with it.

After all, it was Law who currently had a dick shoved up his ass, so sue him for being a little out of his head at the moment.

"Shishishi, you're blushing, Torao!"

Okay, scratch that, Luffy 100% deserved to be punched in the nose for his tactless stupidity. And Law himself really should've known better when it came to Luffy and his inability to think before speaking. Disappointment was the only thing he had a right to after behaving like such a, ugh, optimist.

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do when I've got you shoved up—argh!"

Luffy had stroked Law's thigh with his thumb, leaned down to steal a deeper kiss, and then snapped his hips forward. It only took a few thrusts for them to find a hard, steady pace, their bodies falling into the familiar rhythm that they usually preferred when tensions were running high. To say that there wasn't a touch of impatience behind their coupling would've been a lie; it'd been more than a month since they'd last spent any time together and Luffy had made his intentions clear earlier in the day when he'd very specifically told Law that he was hungry... and had then proceeded to lick the other pirate's ear.

If Law had Shambled him directly into the path of an already bad-tempered Eustass Kid, then, well, Luffy deserved it. The idiot knew how much Law didn't like PDA, and he'd broken their no-PDA rule when he'd licked him in front of the entire fleet.

"I missed you, Torao," Luffy whispered in his ear. "Always miss you so much."

A strong hand cupped Law's head in it, fingers curling in the sweaty strands as Luffy buried his entire length on every thrust. To the Pirate King, Law was impossibly warm, stretched soft and wonderfully slick from their preparation, and it was enough to make his arms shake under him. When one particularly deep thrust ripped a strangled cry from Law's throat, Luffy growled in triumph and shifted a bit to change the angle, purposely aiming for the spot that he knew would make his husband see stars.

"That feel... good, Torao?"

Law just groaned in response, fingers digging deep into Luffy's upper back and shoulders as the other pirate started grinding their hips together. It had been terribly embarrassing at first, seeing the reddened marks that he'd left all over the rubber man's back the morning after one of Luffy's more intense hunger spells. It was two years ago when the worst—or perhaps the best, if hindsight was to be trusted—incident had happened, with at least eight different pirate crews getting to see their King covered in love marks.

And yes, Luffy had insisted on calling them love marks.

Per usual, Law had thought this nickname was downright ridiculous at the time, but he was also well-aware of just how little Luffy cared about anything deemed foolish or ridiculous by the world at large. So, if Luffy wanted to call the angry, bright red claw marks that Law left all over his back love marks, then there was nothing anyone could do to convince him otherwise.

And just to be clear, all Law had been doing was minding his own business, quietly eating his breakfast of scrambled eggs and coffee at the large table that had been left out on the Sunny's main deck after the previous night's huge party. He'd spent at least fifteen minutes pointedly ignoring the fact that his usual chair had already had a cushion sitting on it, likely left there by Robin or Sanji in sympathy for Law's poor abused ass.

There was no way that anybody onboard the Thousand Sunny hadn't overheard the Pirate King quenching his hunger that night, although there was also no way that any of them could've claimed to be ignorant about what that night was going to entail, either.

After partying and feasting for several hours after Luffy's fleet had claimed yet another victory over the Marines, Luffy had slammed back his last gigantic slab of Sea King meat, announced to everyone present that he was hungry for Torao, and had then literally carried off his protesting husband like a sack of potatoes thrown over his shoulder.

None of the Straw Hats or Heart Pirates had blinked an eyeball at this, simply continuing on with their own partying like Luffy's strange hunger pangs were the normal-est thing in the world.

Then again, considering the sheer number of times Luffy had run off with Law tossed over his shoulder, this probably was the new normal for both their crews. Shachi and Robin had even been kind enough to give the pair a little goodbye wave, the latter telling them to have fun while the former bluntly warned Luffy to only treat their captain with the utmost care, just like the king-consort he deserved to be.

"Don't worry, Shachi, I'll take extra good care of him! Promise!"

To show his level of care and devotion, Luffy had then removed his straw hat and placed it on Law's own head. Somewhere in the distance, Law could've sworn he'd heard twin screams of despair.

"Ugh, do I get any say in this?"

"Nope!"

With an overexcited giggle and pat on Law's prone bum, Luffy had sprinted off like the lunatic he was and had spent the rest of the night slobbering all over Law's poor body before finally fucking him into the mattress. And yes, they'd already had a mattress by that point. Law had made it abundantly clear well before their wedding that if Luffy wanted him to stay on the Thousand Sunny for any extended period of time, then he needed to trade in the shared quarters for a single bedroom and retire the hammock for an actual bed.

Unlike Luffy, Law had standards, and he wasn't about to give them up for something as insignificant and contrived as marriage.

"You know, this new mattress was a great idea, Torao! You're so smart."

Law had been two thrusts away from incoherent by that point, pinned to their new king-sized bed by a combination of Luffy's weight and the cock that had finally been shoved up his ass. He hadn't even protested when Luffy had leaned down to lick along his collarbone and tattoos for what must've been the fiftieth time that night, eyes all but rolling into his head when his husband had reached down to feel where they were connected.

"It's much better than my old hammock," Luffy had admitted. "Shishishi, I can actually fuck and eat you at the same time now!"

The rubber man had then gone on to demonstrate this little feat by lengthening his neck and swallowing Law's cock while also still fucking him like their lives depended on it. And to be honest, Law's life really had felt like it depended on Luffy's cock at that moment, fingers digging deep into the Pirate King's shoulders as pleasure shot through him like a Buster Call.

"You're a—ah!—menace, Luffy."

"I know!"

The vibrations from Luffy trying to speak around Law's cock were what had thrown him into orgasm, back and hips arching against the ridiculous rubber man that was both fucking and sucking him at the same time. It was outrageous and impossible and Law was pretty sure he had passed out about four seconds into it, but who the fuck cared, anyways.

They had been in the privacy of their own bedroom, so it was really nobody's business what their sex life involved.

Or so Law had thought until the next morning when he'd woken up with slobber all over his body, copious amounts of cum still deep in his ass, and a particular pirate captain wrapped around him like an extra-clingy Fishman octopus. It had been both disgusting and endearing at the same time... or at least it had been until his ass had started throbbing and itching in time with his own heartbeat.

If Luffy had ended up kicked into a nearby wall, then that was his problem. The idiot barely understood the concept of personal hygiene most days, so Law's level of sympathy was decidedly low when Luffy had refused to unwind and allow Law to go take a much-needed bath.

"Torao! Why don't you loooooove me?"

The victim of Luffy's stubbornness wasn't confined to his husband with this particular incident, either. The first person to actually notice and comment on Luffy's marked up back had been none other than Boa Hancock herself, shrieks of outrage echoing through every ship that had been docked near the Thousand Sunny on that fateful morning.

And to this very day, Law was pretty sure that Hancock was still trying to figure out a way to assassinate him. Not that he cared too much either way—after all, Law had been evading all types of assassinations since he was ten-years-old—but it would be nice if she'd stop throwing bread at him whenever Luffy wasn't around to catch and eat the gluten-filled missiles himself.

"Luffy, holy fuck, yes—"

Every thrust was now punching whimpers and groans from Law's throat, legs wrapped tightly around Luffy's waist as the pace of his thrusts became sharper and more frantic. It didn't help that Law's cock was trapped between them, firmly caught in the friction that their abs created and just this side of painful thanks to his earlier orgasm.

"I'm gettin' close, Torao. So close."

Law was nearly folded double at this point, pinned down and held open and holy fucking god, there was no way he should've been ready to come so soon after that first time. His back was bowed under Luffy's weight, the angle of the other man's cock nothing short of mind-blowing as he fucked Law faster and harder, all restraint thrown to the wind as they both chased down their release. Law couldn't help but squirm under Luffy's pounding thrusts, left hand clutching the sheets while the other clawed at Luffy's back, emotion swelling in his chest when Luffy reached up to interlace their fingers together.

The intimacy of that simple act was almost enough to undue him.

"Oh, God, Luffy, please—"

That familiar ball of tension settled deep in Law's belly, growing hotter and hotter with every snap of Luffy's hips. He knew what was coming, had been craving it all day since they'd rendezvoused with the Straw Hats, but that didn't mean he was totally prepared for the burning hot pleasure that slammed through him when Luffy angled one of his thrusts just right and finally sent Law crashing over into the abyss.

Law's eyes locked with Luffy's as he came untouched, thick pulses of heat burning from his belly to his cock, nervous system sending out signals that Law's battered, pleasure-ridden body couldn't even hope to process. And Luffy just kept driving into him through it all, barrelling towards his own finish line as Law's hole shuddered and clenched and did everything it could to drag Luffy into the white hot inferno with him.

"Fuck, I'm gonna—ugh, I can't—"

Hair bleeding into a fiery white around the edges, Luffy barely managed to choke out a grunt as Law's muscles clamped down around him, an orgasm of almost painful proportions being ripped straight from his cock as everything seemed to white out for several seconds. While one hand was held tight on his husband's hips, Luffy used the other to turn Law's head towards his, mouth swallowing every little gasp and moan that escaped the other man.

Almost on instinct, Luffy wrapped his arms around Law's waist and shoulders, easily supporting his own weight while also allowing his husband's overstimulated body to go tense and then limp with bliss. Growling with exertion, he fucked Law through his high, reveling in his satisfied mewls and happily mouthing at his quivering lips. Fierce tremors ripped through Luffy's body as he spilled deep inside, Law's actual name falling from his mouth over and over as he showered him in gentle praise and loving kisses.

For the first time in days, Luffy's hunger—both for food and his husband—retreated back into the darkness. Quenched. Sated. At least, for now.

As Luffy finished inside of him as deeply as he would fit, Law reached up to run a gentle hand through his flaming hair and down to his stubbly cheek, giving one last moan as the larger pirate struggled not to collapse on top of him. Everything felt good and warm and Law just wanted to pass out at this point, body seemingly unable to move even if he'd asked it to. Above and within him, he could feel Luffy's whole body being wracked with tremors, breaths coming heavy and fast as he gradually slipped into a post-orgasmic haze.

It was about another minute before Luffy slumped forward, burying his face into Law's sweaty neck while also keeping their lower halves firmly connected. Neither of them were ready to separate yet, and Law just hummed in understanding when Luffy's limbs went all rubbery and wrapped themselves around him like a protective coil. You could almost call this a tradition, the way Luffy tried to make sure every possible inch of them was touching after having sex. And yes, it was a little too hot and just a little bit stifling considering what they'd just put their bodies through, but Law always welcomed the action either way.

When Luffy did finally start to pull away, it was slow and careful, his lips kissing whatever piece of Law that was closest while his fingers quickly replaced his cock when he pulled out. Law had admitted once, after they'd spent several months apart thanks to the capricious nature of the Grand Line, that he hated the physically cold and empty feeling that came right after Luffy pulled out. You could even go so far as to say that he dreaded it after their more affectionate couplings. So, in response to his husband's discomfort, Luffy always made sure to slowly work him through the process, kissing and praising and just enjoying the aftercare that made everything feel even more intimate.

"That's gross, Luffy."

"You say that every time," said Luffy as he licked come off of Law's stomach, "And yet I never actually hear you complain about it."

Law just grumbled instead of saying anything, hips wriggling when Luffy snuffled against his happy trail and then moved further down to lick up anything he could find near his own sheathed fingers. And all of this was done while one rubbery arm was still wrapped around Law's upper half, the doctor taking all of the bizarre absurdity in stride because, well, this was Monkey D. Luffy he was dealing with here.

"Hey, Torao, guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm not hungry anymore!"

"Well, isn't that a relief."

Notes:

Apologies for the long wait; real life always gets super-busy this time of the year for me. So, this chapter kinda turned into a behemoth of smutty proportions. It just kinda happened. However, I hope Luffy and Law come across as mostly in-character here. I'm trying to stay as close to canon as possible, so that's why any details referencing stuff that might happen post-Wano are purposely vague.

The last chapter is likely going to be much shorter and deal with the morning (or should we say afternoon) after. Oh, the poor, poor Straw Hat and Heart pirates. And what they have to put up with out of their beloved captains.

Chapter 4

It was well past noon when Law finally rolled out of bed the following day. He was alone by that point, Luffy having flounced out of the room several hours earlier when he'd smelled Sanji and Clione cooking what was likely a scrumptious breakfast. Of course, the sadistic glutton had also made sure to dive under the sheets and suck Law dry one last time before running off with a satisfied cackle, his poor husband left behind to regain what little dignity and composure he had left. Since he honestly didn't have any of either left by now, Law instead just went back to sleep because, quite frankly, he was way past giving a damn after last night.

Unfortunately, this extra sleep time also meant that Law felt positively disgusting and inhuman when he finally did make a half-assed attempt to get out of bed. And it was truly half-assed, because all he really did was roll over and cuss out Luffy for being such a disastrous swine. It only took a half-minute of wiggling his limbs around to decide that Luffy wouldn't be getting any type of sex from him for at least a week. With an exhausted sigh, Law rolled over a fourth time to find the driest section of their soiled sheets and then started a quick mental catalogue of the aftermath.

And just as he'd expected, the list wasn't pretty.

It wasn't an exaggeration to say that Law's hair could pass for being electrocuted. He could feel at least a dozen hickies all over his body, including several annoying ones behind his knees and right armpit. Almost every part of his body was covered to some degree in Luffy-slobber. There was a particularly large bite on his left ass cheek. More areas had beard-burn than not, especially between his legs and along his thighs. He preferred not to even contemplate the state of his crotch, which was itchy, achy, and probably looked like he'd been mauled. And the Level-6-on-a-Scale-of-10 ache in his ass meant that he'd definitely be walking and sitting funny for at least the next two days.

So, overall, Law was a mess.

In response to this assessment, Law decided that continuing to just laze around in bed was no longer an option. And the itching in his ass and thighs was becoming almost intolerable, so yes, it was time to get up. With a melodramatic groan, Law rolled himself straight off the bed and onto the floor, taking a few seconds to enjoy the coolness of the wood before Shambling himself across the room and next to their wardrobe. It only took him a few moments to grab the necessary toiletries and fresh clothes, hands immediately finding the new yellow and black shirt that Ikkaku had picked up for him several weeks ago.

It had their jolly roger stitched into it, courtesy of Wharf's precise needlework. No one would ever guess that it hadn't been done by a master seamstress; Law's crew were just that good at their specialties, and no one except Law himself was as good at stitching and suturing as Wharf was.

After grabbing his favorite jeans and a pair of shoes, Law used his Room to assess where everyone was on the Sunny, feeling no little relief when he discovered that the washroom and bath were unoccupied. Instead of venturing out into the hallway, he instead just Shambled himself right into the bathroom, using one of Nami's hair-clips to switch places with. Well aware that a Straw Hat could randomly wander in at any moment, Law wasted no time in showering the sweat, slobber, and come off of himself, scrubbing so hard in some areas that he was pretty sure he took off the top layer of skin.

Law had just lowered himself into the steamy bath when he heard the door open, a familiar flash of blonde hair and black clothes alerting him to Sanji's arrival in the small entry room. Thankfully, the Straw Hat chef had manners and was kind enough to knock, wait several moments for a response, and then poke his head inside to check on whoever was in there.

"Oh, you're still alive," said the chef with a sardonic smile. "We were all beginning to wonder if Luffy had finally resorted to cannibalism this time around. Chopper and Bepo even threatened to come and break down your bedroom door."

Submerged up to his nose in steaming hot water and bubbles, Law just stared at the Straw Hat with unblinking eyes, muscles slowly relaxing thanks to a combination of heat and the lavender oils that Nami always left in a hidden nook behind the bath. Sanji was one of the brighter Straw Hats, so it wouldn't take him long to realize how anti-social Law was feeling right now.

"Ah, it's one of those kinda days," Sanji eventually said. "Well, I have a plate set aside for you in the warmer, so just grab it whenever you're ready, okay?"

Law gave him a tiny nod in response.

"Don't take too long, though. I can't guarantee that the captain won't come looking for you."

More staring.

"And try not to drown, either. You know how much I hate ruining a good suit thanks to you Devil Fruit-users being suicidal idiots in the bathtub."

Then a bit of scooching to show that he was safely seated on the underwater bench. The bathtub wasn't truly deep enough to pose any problems, but if it made Sanji feel a little better, then Law was willing to concede the point.

"Okay, well, at least you have some common sense. Unlike certain other people on this ship."

The chef walked over to the shower, popped his shoes and socks off, then used the extendable shower-head to run water over his feet. Law watched all of this with a raised eyebrow, more than a little curious about what had happened to cause this bizarre behavior. Thankfully, Sanji must've felt Law's eyes on his back, because he answered without even turning around.

"Luffy got into a fight with Usopp over the last tray of sandwiches. I was, of course, in the middle of delivering some delicious afternoon refreshments to our most lovely goddesses and the fucking morons ran straight into me and ruined, well, everything."

Sanji picked up one of his shoes and gave it a tentative sniff. The resulting grimace was all the answer Law needed to know about the fate of those shoes.

"I suppose there's no saving these ones."

A small bar of soap warped from the far side of the bathtub and into Law's outstretched hand, the other man too busy cussing out his crewmates to notice the gravity-defying projectile that flew right behind his head. Thankfully, Sanji knew when to keep his mouth shut and just go about his business, which Law was thankful for since he really didn't feel like talking right now.

"Your plate's got a red sticky note on top of it," said Sanji before he left, "I'll know if you don't eat it."

And with that finger-point of doom, Law was left alone in the bathroom once more, happily ensconced in the little mountain of bubbles he'd made for himself. Law was a pretty asocial person at heart, so getting any private time without his husband or crew sniffing around was something that he'd come to cherish on the rare occasions when it was available. And despite loving his husband dearly, Law would also be the first person to admit that he often needed a break from Luffy's exuberant, bouncy, and sometimes just annoyingly high-energy personality.

To the surprise of both their crews, Luffy seemed to understand this particular character quirk better than Law had anticipated. The Pirate King could certainly be clingy and possessive at times, and often wanted to have his cranky husband nearby for even the most minor and silly of things, but Luffy also seemed to have developed an impressive sixth sense for knowing when to back off and just leave Law alone to decompress for several hours or days, depending on the situation. It was a trait that neither Law nor the Heart Pirates had been expecting, but were pleasantly surprised every time it appeared from the goofy captain.

And that's why Law didn't feel even a tiny bit guilty for spending thirty-two minutes more in the bath.

Two other crew members came and went during his long soak, Robin peeking her head in to wave a quick hello while Clione ventured further inside to make sure that Law was still in one piece. It was only when Law had shriveled to the point of looking like a prune that he emerged from the now lukewarm water, feet wobbling a bit as he climbed out and grabbed what he knew was the fluffiest towel onboard.

It only took him a few minutes to dry off and dress, well-worn jeans and a yellow shirt with fluffy neck and wrist trim feeling more bearable than he'd expected against his still-sensitive skin. A couple seconds of flexing his toes led him to decide against shoes, too.

A bit of fresh air was good for the flesh, from time to time. Or so his mother had always said.

So, fully dressed and with shoes in hand, Law moseyed on down to the kitchen like the sunshine zombie that he was, familiar enough with the Sunny to find his way without a second thought. Getting to the refrigerator and warmers with all his fingers and toes intact was a piece of cake, too. Sanji had no issues sharing his booby-trap secrets with a picky eater like Law, so the doctor was always on the up-and-up when it came to giant mousetraps, trip wires, and landmines.

"Oh, good, you've finally emerged," said Sanji from his place at the sink. "I've got a new set of trip wires I want to try out, so grab your food and skedaddle over to the table, okay?"

Law gave a small nod of thanks when he was handed a tray with freshly heated gluten-free pancakes, blueberry maple syrup, two sausage links, glasses of milk and orange juice, and a big mug of coffee on it. With a slight push, Sanji shooed him across the kitchen while grabbing a big bag of... something from underneath the bar.

"I'm sick of that damned idiot trying to break my lock with his Haki-infused teeth," said Sanji as he pulled several thin wires out of the bag, "So, I'm gonna try something out of Usopp's book here."

The chef worked while Law ate, nimble fingers twisting small pieces of Boan viper peppers around the combination lock and almost invisible trip wires that were now connected to it. Apparently, Luffy always tried to bite through both the lock and traps, so it was pretty much guaranteed that he'd get a couple peppers in the mouth during his next gluttonous raid.

A cruel and ingenious booby-trap from the looks of it. Law approved.

Watching Sanji's desperate attempts to defend his culinary property proved to be better entertainment than he'd anticipated, the blond cussing worse than Kid when a pair of pepper seeds flew up towards his exposed eyeball. It appeared that Boan vipers and their extreme, tear-inducing, tongue-boiling heat were even a bit much for a chef of Sanji's caliber.

"You know, none of this would even be necessary if you just Shambled our captain's damned stomach like I've been asking you to do for years now."

Law just took another bite of his pancake.

"Being chopped in half certainly kept Kin'emon from getting into anything for a little while. It doesn't even have to be long, just a couple weeks. That'd be more than enough time for me to reinforce the hinges that he bit off last month."

A large gulp of orange juice was all Sanji got in response.

"Yeah, I thought that'd be your thoughts on the matter." Sanji grimaced and rubbed at his irritated eyes and reddening cheeks with an elbow. "Guess I gotta give you points for marital loyalty or whatever."

And then a seed popped up into Sanji's face and the man was instantly scrambling towards the sink, curses drowned out by the stream of water he dunked his head into. Law decided to be nice for once in his miserable life and used his Devil Fruit powers to finish attaching the peppers to more than a dozen spots that he figured Luffy was mostly likely to bite and gnaw at.

Never let it be said that Trafalgar Law didn't at least attempt to keep his husband from causing unholy destruction and mayhem everywhere he went.

With his good deed for the day complete, Law deposited his dishes next to the sink and left Sanji to finish laying whatever booby-traps he could, the chef strangely desperate to protect his latest haul of groceries. Luffy must've actually figured out how to break into the fridge this time around. That also explained why Sanji had been so irritable last night, too.

Law wandered out to the second floor deck after that, eyes dilating painfully against the mid-day sun. It was bright and beautiful outside, nary a cloud in the cerulean blue sky as hordes of seagulls flew overhead. The ship was surprisingly quiet and tranquil, snatches of conversation filtering up from the lawn deck and helm. All of the voices were familiar, which meant that the only people onboard right now were members of his and Luffy's crews.

A hard knot in Law's stomach untwisted with this knowledge. He really was feeling unsociable today, and it was a relief to know that he could trust everybody onboard to leave him be. Well, all except for one person in particular, but Law was okay as long as he didn't get too handsy.

The warm ocean breeze and harsh sun gave a big clue as to where Law wanted to go, his feet and Devil Fruit powers instinctively taking him to the upper deck where Usopp's gardens and Nami's tangerine orchard were located. And just as he expected, laying down in the latter's shaded middle was Bepo, furry body naked save for the neon orange swim trunks he always favored in hot weather.

Law wasted no time in crawling up onto his best friend's belly and making himself right at home.

"Captain?"

"Shhhhhh, nap time."

"Oh, okay."

The mink's snoring resumed almost immediately, one large paw coming up to make sure Law was properly balanced before dropping down to the ground again. It only took a little bit of shimmying for Law to get into a comfortable position, body sinking down into the luxurious fluff of Bepo's belly. Even the somewhat musty smell of the polar bear's fur was soothing, and Law allowed himself to drift off into a doze as the afternoon sun rose to its highest point.

It was the sound of soft murmurs and something combing through his hair that eventually woke Law up, although he couldn't see anything thanks to a combination of eyeball goop and his face being buried several inches deep in Bepo's voluminous fluff. By all accounts, Law should've suffocated to death long ago, what with all that fur blocking his airways, but he'd somehow managed to survive semi-frequently sleeping like this for over two decades.

Poor Chopper still had a heart attack whenever he saw them sleeping like that, though.

"...touching him... might wake up... idiot..."

"...sleeps really... don't have to... whenever ready or..."

"...let me know... over here..."

Law grumbled when the fingers—because it had to be a bunch of fingers, nobody would have a comb out here—moved down to gently massage the back of his neck. He could hear the faint sounds of rustling nearby, and didn't even have to open his eyes to know that it was Nami tending to her tangerine trees. Unlike her reaction with most others who dared come too close to her precious trees, Nami had always been okay with Bepo lounging in the shaded orchard whenever the weather got too hot, mostly because of his distaste for anything citrusy.

"Seriously, Luffy, let him sleep," came Nami's voice from somewhere to his right. She kept her cadence quiet and slow, mindful of the two sleeping men in their midst. "The poor guy obviously needs it after what you did to him last night."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're touching him, that counts as doing something."

"But he's doing that little grumbly thing he always does whenever he's happy," said Luffy, nails lightly scratching at Law's scalp. "I love that sound. He doesn't make it enough."

Nami let out a defeated sigh. "Fine, whatever, it's your grave. But seriously, if you get Shambled into the ocean, don't expect me to jump in after you."

The feel of hot, damp breath against Law's left ear signaled that Luffy had leaned in close, calloused fingers moving at a slow, attentive pace back and forth between his scalp and neck. And despite how much Law didn't want to admit it, the soft scratches and presses felt fantastic, especially since his joints tended to stiffen up the day after their more athletic sexual escapades.

"Nah, he likes it."

As if his body had decided to take those blasphemous words as fact, a contented grumble pulled itself out of Law's throat and he couldn't hold back a shiver when his husband's fingers pressed into his upper trapezius. That particular spot had been bothering him for weeks now, so the sudden release of tension was enough to make every other stiff muscle follow suit.

"See, it feels good, huh?"

The smugness in Luffy's voice was clearer than a sunny day on the Calm Belt, warm breath puffing against Law's ear as he took full advantage of this rare opportunity to show some public affection towards his husband. It had taken a long time, but Law was somewhat comfortable with the Straw Hats and his own crew seeing Luffy be extra-loving and sometimes even flirtatious with him. The latter still came as a shock to much of Luffy's crew, but they'd managed to tone down their reactions in recent years since, you know, their captain was actually married now.

Outside of their crews was a completely different story, though.

Law preferred to make himself scarce whenever the Straw Hats threw a big party or congregated together with the Grand Fleet. He knew that Luffy would've liked to have him at his side for these boisterous gatherings, but the other man also understood that his husband just wasn't a very social person at the best of times. Law often felt drained when in large crowds, and there were quite a few members of the Pirate King's extended entourage that he just plain didn't get along with nor like, and that wasn't likely to change in the near future, either.

"Torao, my pretty, pretty Torao," Luffy whispered in a sing-song voice, fingers tracing very gently along his nose and eyebrows. "Always so grumpy and cute. I love my pretty, pretty Torao. My grumpy, cutey Torao." "

Luffy punctuated this statement with a quick kiss to Law's nose.

The gesture was enough to put a small smile on the doctor's face, which Luffy returned by grinning widely in triumph. Being separated for weeks or months on end was trying at times, and despite what certain people said, Law did miss his husband when they were apart for too long. And Boa Hancock could call him a husband-stealing hussy to her heart's content, but sex was only a side-perk of being married to Luffy, not the focal point like she seemed to think.

Hell, neither Luffy nor Law were even remotely interested in sex unless it was with each other and even then, only when the mood really struck them. Of course, that didn't mean that the Pirate King didn't have a voracious appetite when that particular mood decided to present itself. Hence, why Law was going to bite Luffy's hand off if he didn't get his goddamned finger out of his ear right this second.

"Oh, for the love of—Luffy! Leave him alone!"

Bless Nami and her pinpoint accuracy, Law thought while watching his husband take a tangerine peel to the left eye. Luffy squawked in response, flailing about like an electrocuted animal before apparently deciding that a tangerine peel was likely as good as he was going to get—and promptly ate it.

"Oh, I give up," huffed Nami before turning around to finish her pruning. "He's your husband, Law, deal with him on your own."

"Mmmmmm."

Luffy giggled like the scheming loon that he was before eventually settling down against Bepo's side, his face only a few inches away from Law's own. Everything went quiet for a few minutes after that, Nami's humming, Bepo's snores, and Luffy's steady breaths acting as a familiar lullaby to the tired doctor. If it wasn't for the distant sound of other ships docked nearby, Law would've described it as being an almost perfect moment.

But unfortunately for him, silence never lasted long when Monkey D. Luffy was around.

"How're you feeling, Torao?"

Law's only response was flipping his husband the bird. After all, he was the reason why Law felt like a limp noodle, so why shouldn't Law let him know exactly how he felt on the matter.

"That good, huh? Sorry I was so rough and bitey. I just missed you so much."

"Mmmmmm."

"Yeah, I know, Nami already told me off for that, too."

"Mmmm."

"Hey, I can't help it that you taste so good! Just like a rack of Sea King meat marinaded in that honey barbecue sauce that Sanji always makes! Do you think he'd make that for dinner if I asked really nicely?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm."

"When you put it like that, maybe not. See, this is why I missed you, Torao. You're always so smart."

The Pirate King released a gusty sigh and laid his head back down on the fluffy spot right next to Law's head. A calloused hand settled itself in his hair, lightly brushing back and forth in time with the ocean waves. Law just grumbled a bit when Luffy snuggled closer and buried his nose in his hair, unashamedly taking several deep breaths of whatever scent Law was sporting at the moment. It was a very primal behavior, but also pretty standard for someone who often ran on pure adrenaline and instinct like Luffy tended to do.

"Torao always smells so good, too."

A wet, sloppy kiss was laid on Law's exposed cheek, followed by a series of giggles as Luffy decided that one, two, three more were needed in short order. The goofy idiot probably would've continued his bizarre little game if it wasn't for Bepo's sudden need to scratch his nose, which conveniently whacked Luffy off to the side with a startled yelp.

"Owwwww, Bepo, that hurt!"

"Sorry."

And just like that, the mink went right back to his snoring, one large paw coming up to settle on Law's lower back. Despite Bepo's bad habit of apologizing for even the tiniest offense, he was unrepentantly loyal and protective of his captain, and probably wasn't as sorry about walloping Luffy as he tried to make it seem. Most people didn't pick up on the mink's vengeful streak until it was literally raining down upon them, and Luffy tended to be one of those people.

However, today looked like it wasn't one of those days, because Luffy seemed to think twice before invading the polar bear's personal bubble again. Law could literally see the gears grinding in his husband's head as he weighed the pros and cons, brows furrowed in deep concentration while Nami inspected a tree directly behind him. Although he would never admit it out loud, Law found that particular facial expression to be uncomfortably adorable.

It even gave him indigestion at times, seeing that stupid face. He didn't like it.

However, to Law's grumpy relief, this deep thought process ended in Luffy releasing another gusty sigh before flopping down to sprawl in the grass, limbs thrown wide and semi-rubbery as the afternoon sun shone down in rivulets through the tangerine trees. Law watched through half-lidded eyes as the other man let out a monstrous yawn, sharp incisors on full display as his jaw stretched several feet wide before snapping closed with a painful sounding clack.

"Hey, Torao, we ran into that icy old Admiral the other week," said Luffy after several minutes of peaceful silence. "He wanted me to give you this."

Despite giving a grumble of dissatisfaction at having his nap interrupted again, Law was still polite enough to hold out his left hand for whatever it was that Luffy had received from that slovenly blockhead Aokiji. The older man had taken to giving Law little mementos over the last couple years, always accompanied by a short note about what that particular gift would've meant to Rosinante. At first, Law had been downright livid about the brazen overture from his once-enemy, all but spitting nails before throwing the original tiny black bird carving into the trash.

It was only two months later, when another memento in the shape of a bowtie-wearing penguin showed up alongside the daily News Coo and Sengoku's weekly letter on what the Marines or—and this was more likely nowadays—he and Garp were getting up to. This one had clearly been carved from walnut and was holding a heart in one flipper and a tiny snow leopard in another. Just like before, Law had thrown it in the trash.

When the third memento—another carved penguin with a tiny black bird perched atop its head and a snow leopard sleeping on its fins—had arrived amongst Ikkaku's latest order of engineering supplies, Law had went straight for his den-den mushi and proceeded to ask Sengoku what the fucking hell was going on with this creepy weirdo. Law didn't appreciate being stalked by a hobo-wannabe who was easily old enough to be his father and also had to know that Law was engaged to the more-than-slightly possessive King of the Pirates.

"Ah, I figured that that's what that stupid boy was doing," Sengoku had said. "I know you're aware that Rosi and Kuzan were very close friends, and that Kuzan didn't take Rosi's undercover assignment or death very well at all."

"Yes, you've told me about it."

"And that of his own volition and eventually at my own personal request, he kept a close eye on you and your three friends while you lived with that crazy old inventor on Swallow Island. And then continued to do so when you decided to form the Heart Pirates and gallivant off into the horizon. You know full well that the ice sheets in the North Blue aren't that thick in the summer months. Damned idiot never was very good at covering his tracks when he had an assignment in that particular region."

Law had gritted his teeth at this reminder before finally saying, "Yes, and your point?"

"My point is that you might want to ponder the motivations behind someone as lazy and apathetic as Kuzan giving up large chunks of his precious sleep schedule to follow a wayward child halfway around the planet. That's not something any sane—or at least remotely sane—person would do unless they were very, very close to the person they were committing the act for."

"I assume you're referring to Corazon as being that person."

"Kuzan is an indolent bastard at the absolute best of times," said Sengoku, "And it's not an exaggeration to say that Rosi was pretty much the only person besides a superior officer who could get him to actually do anything without being given an official order."

Sengoku had sounded a mix of exasperated and annoyed by this apparent betrayal from his former subordinate. Then again, the old man was annoyed by a whole lot of things nowadays. It must've been the bad joints and having to listen to Luffy's grandpa pick fights with Sea Kings every morning.

"Uh huh. So, how close are we really talking about here?"

"You and Garp's grandson close."

It had taken Law a long moment to process that little tidbit of information. And then another moment to decide whether or not he should just hang up the mushi while his sanity and blood pressure were still intact. Unfortunately for Law, he was also a naturally curious person, and his need for any and all information relating to Cora had won out.

However, that constant thirst for information hadn't meant that Law wasn't going to be an absolute little shit about the situation, too.

"So they had an alliance?"

"You know damned well what I meant, you little brat."

"No, I don't."

Sengoku had snarled as if in physical pain, which had, of course, made Law smirk like the evil little gremlin that he was. Cora would've been so proud. And besides, if he had to suffer through the abject humiliation of discussing Cora's past... liaisons, then the old man did, too.

"Ugh, you're just as much of a manipulative smartass as he said you were," Sengoku had grumbled. "But if it's going to be like that, then don't say I didn't warn you."

That had sounded kinda—

"I caught those two little shits together," Law had been able to hear the finger-quotes in Sengoku's voice loud and clear, "In Kuzan's office the morning of Rosi's 20th birthday. Bare asses and all."

Law hadn't even tried to hide a sound of disgust. Sengoku had grunted in agreement.

"I gotta admit though, I've never seen Kuzan move as fast as he did that day, at least not outside of battle. Damned fool took one look at me and Garp in the doorway and went crashing straight out of the nearest window. Froze the whole goddamned harbor for nearly a week and you know what else? Rosi had the gall to claim that they'd just been talking. Talking! Pants down around his ankles and the arrogant little bastard tried to say that they were just talking! I've experienced many insulting things as a parent—being vomited on before a meeting with the Fleet Admiral is never fun—but never had I been subjected to such a load of bullshit as when my little Rosi tried to explain why he and Kuzan were sprawled across the—"

Law had hung up at that part, stomach feeling more than a little queasy at the images he now had stuck in his head.

It had been later that evening when Bepo had finally deemed it safe to approach him, left paw pulling a pair of discarded figurines out of his back pocket. The mink had overheard his conversation with Sengoku, which wasn't too surprising considering Law hadn't even tried to keep it quiet or private. He'd been too pissed off to care at the time. However, none of that had explained why Bepo had the two previously discarded figurines in his possession.

When asked why, Bepo had just said, "I don't know, Captain. Something about them being thrown away just didn't feel right."

And so, Law had grudgingly accepted the proffered figurines from his friend, observing the wooden carvings in a new light now that he knew part of the story behind them. Sengoku had eventually called back later in the week, voice serious and more than a little sad as he had explained just how devastated Kuzan had been when they'd found Rosinante's mangled corpse on Minion Island. The Vice-Admiral's grief had also explained the conveniently thick ice sheets that Law used to cross from Minion to Swallow Island, something that Law had always found a little strange considering the late season. So, yeah, Aokiji's Devil Fruit powers going haywire and freezing everything in all directions had actually made a lot of sense, when he looked back on it.

"Wow, that one's really detailed."

Nami had wandered over while Law was assessing Aokiji's latest gift, her fingers gently poking at the spiny feathers. The figurine appeared to be a particularly fluffy black bird, its feathers all puffed out as if a cold breeze had just blown past it. A small head could be seen peeking out from underneath the feathers, positioned right between where the bird's feet would normally be.

It looked suspiciously like a tiny snow leopard.

"Hey, I really like this one," said Luffy, neck stretching several feet so he could get a closer look. "It's even got spots on the cat, just like your favorite hat!"

Law couldn't help but agree, even if he didn't bother to voice it. Once Nami and Luffy had gotten their fill of looking at his latest gift, Law Shambled it safely away into his room on the Polar Tang. He had a small pile of stones on his desk just for this purpose, since carrying around a new coin or comic book was an accident waiting to happen. He'd carefully store it in a locked cupboard with all of his other valuables once he returned to the Tang later today.

For now, he preferred not to think about too much about the reasons why Aokiji continued to send him the anthropomorphic figurines. He understood now that it was likely a way of reaching out to the child that his best friend and longtime lover had sacrificed his life to save, but Law himself just wasn't ready to face the implications that came with the two older men's relationship.

Maybe if he had a chance to meet him face-to-face, it would be a little easier to recognize and accept everything. Maybe...

"Hey, Nami, can I have an orange?"

"No."

"What about half of one?"

"No."

"Boo, that's not fair! You always give one to Torao when he asks."

"That's because Law asks nicely and doesn't try to raid my orchard every other week."

"...can I please have an orange?"

"No!"

This denial resulted in Luffy pouting like a toddler while also scooching back over to Law, every movement dramatic and ridiculous as he gently settled his head back down onto Bepo's fluffy tummy.

"Nami's so mean, Torao."

"Hmmmm."

"Make her be nice to me. Like you did last time."

"Mmmmmmmm."

"Awww, c'mon, it wasn't that bad. And besides, switching her and Sanji is always hilarious!"

It didn't take a genius to anticipate the all-too familiar fist that connected with Luffy's head, the Straw Hat navigator practically steaming as she attempted for perhaps the thousandth time to beat some common sense into her own captain.

"You grub-sucking moron! Stop giving him ideas!"

With a tired yawn, Law simply rolled over and left his moronic husband to his fate.

Notes:

We're gonna blame how long this took to update on my shitty work schedule. Medicine has not been a fun field to be in these last few years. The burn-out is real, folks.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of The Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life of a Pirate King's Husband