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Merlin took a sip of his beer trying not to laugh as Gwaine, who was sitting on the floor next to him, started singing a sea shanty he saw on TikTok very off-key.
They had all just finished their midterms and in a surprising move, Lance, not Gwaine for once had suggested they get shitfaced. They were now all sitting on the floor of Lance & Gwen’s living room drinking cheap beer enjoying a short break from weeks of studying.
Merlin looked up across from him and locked eyes with Arthur who pointedly rolled his eyes. His face clearly saying, ‘Why are we friends with him again?’ A small, barely-there smile gracing his face betraying his amusement.
Merlin shook his head in amusement at Arthur, wanting to retort that he still couldn’t believe they were friends. After all, when they had first met in their first year at uni, they hadn’t gotten along one bit. Oh, how time and shared friends change things, now they were thick as thieves.
Merlin was shaken out of his thoughts by Elyan. “For the love of God, someone shut him up.”
Percy wiggled his eyebrows at Elyan before pulling Gwaine into a rather heated kiss.
“Be careful what you wish for little brother,” Gwen teased.
Elyan threw his hands up. “Ten minutes! You are literally older than me by ten minutes!”
Gwen shrugged, a cheeky smile plastered on her face as she leaned back onto her boyfriend.
Leon, always the peacekeeper, spoke up. “Alright, alright let’s play another game. What are you lot thinking?”
Several drinking games were suggested but after all the shots and drinks they were all feeling rather loose and lazy.
“What about Hot Seat?” Lance suggested.
Everyone agreed, after all, it was essential truth or dare without the dares and everyone knew truth was by far the more dangerous and fun option.
The questions ranged from silly to serious, from ‘Did you sleep with a stuffed animal as a child?’ to ‘When was the moment you realized that your parents were flawed?’
It was what should have been an easy question that ultimately shook Merlin’s world.
“Arthur, tell us about your first kiss,” Gwen asked, drunkenly pinching his cheek before he laughed and swatted her hands away from his face.
“Alright alright,” Arthur said a coy smile on his face as he looked around the group. “I was ten and my father had decided to take me to our summer house for the summer.”
Merlin groaned and mockingly teased, “Ugh of course your family has a summer house you prat!”
Arthur smirked at him, his ridiculously and unfairly blue eyes almost dancing in amusement. “Yes, yes I’m a rich entitled snob. Now can I get back to my story Merlin?”
Merlin sighed in a way that clearly expressed, ‘ugh fine I guess.’
Arthur chuckled, “Now as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.” He then mockingly glared at Merlin who shrugged to everyone’s bemusement. “I was nine and my father decided to take me to our summer house for the whole summer. Morgana, lucky banshee that she is, convinced her mum to send her to summer camp so she wouldn’t have to go that year because the summer house was in the middle of nowhere.”
He made a face and Merlin rolled his eyes as if having a summer house was so hard.
Leon chuckled, "You're lucky Gana had a date tonight or else she kick your arse for that banshee comment."
Arthur rolled his eyes, it wasn't uncommon for the pendragon siblings to throw insults at each other. “Anyways, there was a small town, but it was almost an hour away by bike and my father spent the whole summer shut in his office so he couldn’t drive me into town. It was boring as shit. All there was to do was play in the surrounding forest and the lake, but that summer was a bit more fun because I had the gardener’s son to play with.”
Merlin frowned. Wait gardener’s son?
“Gardener’s son, eh Arthur?” Gwaine teased as he winked at Arthur.
Merlin was shocked to see a light blush on Arthur’s cheeks as he shrugged. “We had a new gardener that summer. Our old one, Geoffrey had retired, and my father had hired this really nice single mum.”
Merlin nearly dropped his beer because no, there was absolutely no way. It couldn’t be. Arthur couldn’t be.
Because when Merlin was nine his mum had worked as a gardener for a posh family, and he had spent the summer playing with the blond and blue-eyed son.
Arthur kept talking, completely unaware of his dark-haired friend’s slow-growing meltdown. “Her son and I were in the same year and even though we were complete opposites we got on well. We would have sword fights with sticks in the woods, go swimming in the lake, and ride our bikes into town to buy candy.”
Except Merlin didn’t have a bike, or at least he and his mum hadn’t thought to bring his, so he was forced to use the bike that belonged to the boy’s sister.
Arthur, definitely a little bit drunk giggled. “He didn’t bring his bike so whenever we went to town, he had to use Morgana’s my little pony bike. Which I teased him endlessly about.”
Elyan rolled his eyes. “Of course, you did. This is why Merlin’s always calling you a prat.”
“What happened next?” Gwen asked eagerly.
Arthur shrugged, “Not much we just played together for the whole summer until it was the day before I was set to head back to London.”
Merlin bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything. He remembered that day well.
They were lying in the grass next to the lake looking up at the clouds, tired from swimming all morning long.
“We had been lying on the grass. I don’t even remember why, I think we had been swimming, and then suddenly he kissed me.”
Merlin turned his head towards the other boy, to point out a cloud that was shaped like a giraffe when he was stuck still. He had been complaining about the sun beating down on them all day but as he looked over at the other boy suddenly he didn't mind . In that moment the sun had cast the blond in a golden light, it looked as if he was glowing. Merlin couldn't look away. Almost as if he was in a trance Merlin had leaned over and press a brief kiss on the boy’s lips.
Elyan whistled. “Alright, gardener’s son! Making the first move!”
Arthur laughed at that. “Yup. I haven’t seen it coming. When I asked why he did it. He just shrugged and said, ‘Just felt like it.’”
When Merlin pulled away the boy looked at him in surprise but didn’t move. “What was that for?”
He pursed his lips. Why did he do it? He was still leaning slightly above the other boy. He looked at his clear blue eyes. They made him think of the sky on a light day, an endless sort of blue. It gave him a strange fluttery feeling in his belly.
He shrugged, as he lied back down. “Don’t know, just felt like it.”
“Cheeky, I like it,” Gwaine said.
A bashful smile crawled onto Arthur’s face. “I did too actually. I spend that night and the next few months at home thinking about him and what he meant by just felt like it.”
Merlin felt like a bolt of lightning struck him. He had as well. He had thought about it, obsessed about that kiss for months. On why he had done it, and if the boy was thinking about him too or had he forgotten about him already.
Arthur grinned, “I do have to thank him though, for making me realise that I was bi. I had only seen boys kiss girls on the tele, so it was rather thrilling to realise boys with an option too.”
“Did you ever see him again?” Lance asked.
“My father had a big business deal the next summer, so we stayed in London,” Arthur said with a rueful smile. “Of course, the one year I was dying to go to the summer house.”
Merlin bit his lip to stop himself from talking, from telling Arthur it wouldn’t have changed anything because he hadn’t been there either. His mum had finally gotten her nursing degree by then and was no longer the gardener.
“I didn’t end up going back into I was fifteen and by then we had a new gardener. That and I was in my first proper relationship by then, with a girl named Daisy.”
Everyone began teasing about the girlfriend and bemoaning the loss of the gardener’s son when Merlin finally spoke.
“What was his name? The gardener’s son?” Merlin said casually as if he didn’t know that it was him.
His heart was thundering, and it felt like an eternally went by, but it was barely a second.
“Can’t remember,” Arthur said, looking down at his drink. He shrugged before taking a sip then adding, “I remember it was something unusual though, an uncommon name but it had suited him.”
As they continued the drinking game Merlin kept wondering if he should have told Arthur right then it had been his first kiss too.
Once again Merlin found himself staring at Arthur with a growing feeling of annoyance.
They were at their favorite café. Him and Arthur, doing coursework in the same booth as they did every Tuesday.
Arthur’s face was scrunched up in a frown as he looked at his laptop. He was working on his paper for his marketing class.
Merlin was working on a paper for his art history course, or at least he was supposed to be. But he couldn’t get over the fact that not only had his first kiss been with Arthur but his annoyance that the bloody prick had apparently forgotten his name.
Now in all fairness, Merlin couldn’t exactly blame Arthur for forgetting his name when he hadn't realized it was Arthur either, but still! It was the principal of the thing! After all, who forgets the name of their first kiss!
It had been a few days since he found out that Arthur, obnoxious pig-headed aggravating Arthur was the same boy he had shared his first kiss with when he was nine.
In hindsight, it did make some sense. Young Arthur had been a bit of a snob and would always throw a fit when he didn’t get his way. It had led to them wrestling on the dirt a many of times that summer.
And yet, there was a reason Merlin had wanted to kiss him back then. Despite Arthur’s more annoying qualities, he had been a surprisingly sweet kid. He remembered with fondness the time they had gone to the ice cream shop in the village and Merlin agonized over two flavors, chocolate banana and mint because his mum had only given him enough for one scoop.
Merlin pressed his face against the cool glass of the ice cream counter. His face set in a deep frown as he gazed at the ice creams. Chocolate banana or mint. Chocolate banana or mint! He was utterly torn.
“Would you hurry up Merlin!” Young Arthur had groaned. He crossed his arms over his red t-shirt. “This is why I wanted to go first!”
“Well then just go!” He then turned and glared at Arthur. “I only got enough money for one scoop and I don’t want to choose wrong.” He then turned back to the display case.
The other boy stepped closer, so he was right beside him. “Which are you stuck on?”
Merlin sighed, “Chocolate banana and mint.”
Young him could see Arthur nodded from the corner of his eye. Suddenly Arthur grabbed at the hand that was holding Merlin's money and plucking it out of his hand.
“HEY! THAT’S MY MONEY!” Little Merlin shouted angrily.
Arthur wasn’t listening though he was talking to the shopkeeper. The lady was smiling sweetly at Arthur like he had done something adorable.
Merlin huffed and started hitting Arthur. “Give it back you cabbage-head!”
Arthur swapped his hands away. “Ow! Stop it! Or I’m not sharing!”
Merlin frowned, “Sharing what?”
That was when the ice cream lady came back to the cash register with an ice cream sundae with loads of chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and cherries!
Merlin was about to yell at Arthur for stealing his money so he could have a sundae when he saw it. Out of the three flavors, two were chocolate banana and mint.
The dark-haired man smiled at the memory. Arthur had claimed that he just happened to want those flavors too, even though he knew Arthur hated mint, and could only afford the toppings with Merlin’s help. It had been a bald-faced lie but Merlin had been too happy to care at that moment.
Arthur had always been like that, hiding his sweetness behind an obnoxious front. No doubt because of his father, Merlin thought. He had barely seen the man that whole summer and now every time Arthur talked to him on his mobile, he was tense for hours after.
Merlin couldn't help but wonder how Uther had taken Arthur being bi when he came out. He supposed mostly okay seeing as they were still on speaking terms.
“Spit it out Merlin, I can hear you thinking from over here.” The other man said tiredly.
Arthur was still looking at his laptop screen, but his frown was now replaced by a small fond smile. It made Merlin’s toes curl. It took him a moment to remember what Arthur had said. “The other night when you were talking about your first kiss…” Merlin paused not sure if he was sticking his nose into something he shouldn’t.
The blond looked up at him, a curious and almost guarded look on his face. “Yes?”
“When you were talking about it, you mentioned that that was when you realised you were bi. I was just wondering how your da took it. If… that’s why you and your father seem so…” He waved his hand at Arthur not sure what word to use.
Arthur chuckled. “Estranged?”
“I was going to say distant,” he said wincing. Then added, “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”
Arthur moved his laptop to the side so that he could rest his elbows on the table. “No, it’s fine I don’t mind. Surprisingly my father took it rather well. Well, as good as he takes anything.” Arthur rolled his eyes playfully. “We were eating dinner and he was asking me about my studies. He was telling me that I needed to do better in chem lab that semester if I wanted to go to any university worth a damn and I blurted it out. He merely looked at me, went alright, and then went back to tell me that if I didn’t ace all my courses that semester, he was taking away my car.”
Merlin couldn’t help it, he snorted, quickly throwing his hands over his face after.
Arthur was grinning. “Exactly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he loves the idea that I might end up with a man, but I think it’s more like he’s willing to tolerate it. So better than him kicking me out.”
Merlin nodded. His mum had been very supportive of him being coming out as bi. Though at the time he hadn’t known that was what he had done.
It had been a few months after he kissed Arthur actually. He had been confused over that kiss for months and then finally asked his mum if it was weird that he sometimes thought about kissing boys as well as girls. She had pulled him into her lap and held him and told him that it wasn’t weird at all, and anyone who said otherwise could come and talk to her about it. That she would set them straight.
She then laughed at her own accidental joke.
“What brought it up?”
Arthur’s question pulled him out of his thoughts. “What?”
“My father. What made you wonder?”
Merlin shrugged, “Nothing just something I had been wondering since the other night.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie, he just left out it was because he had been trying to connect the dots. Of the Arthur from now with the one in his memories.
Arthur gave him a look, like he wanted to say something but shook his head slightly, deciding against it. “Do you want to share a slice of strawberry shortcake?”
Merlin grinned. “As if you have to ask.” Arthur was on the school’s rugby team, putting him on a strict diet but he had a bit of a sweet tooth, so they often shared desserts.
When their cake arrived Arthur immediately swooped in and grabbed the strawberry on top. It made Merlin chuckle, Arthur had always liked anything strawberry. It had been the third flavor in their sundae after all.
“Who moved the flour?” Merlin asked, frowning. He could have sworn he left it on the counter next to the stove.
“I got it, here,” Gwen replied before passing over the flour.
Merlin carefully measured out his flour. “Does anyone know where Morgana is? I thought we were just supposed to be helping her.”
Arthur grumbled from behind him, “Why bake when she can trick us into doing it for her.”
Merlin sighed, he really needed to learn how to say no to Morgana.
Trying to impress a cute girl in one of her clubs she had offered to bake all the sweets for their bake sale. It wasn’t until after she volunteered, she learned she was expected to actually make them instead of buying them.
That was when she used her big doe eyes on Merlin and Gwen to get them to help. Arthur, she had threatened to out embarrassing photos from their childhood.
Gwen rolled her eyes at the boys. “She’s on her way her last class ran late.”
“Yeah, that’s what she wants us to believe,” Arthur said glaring at the batter he was mixing.
The door swung open revealing Morgana carrying more grocery bags of supplies.
Arthur smirked, “Speaking of the devil.”
Morgana rolled her eyes as she gently laid the bags on one of the counters. “Actually, I prefer High Mistress of Hell and Torment.”
Gwen shook her head in amusement at her friends. “Right, Morgana? Merlin's doing the scones, Arthur’s doing the biscuits, and I’m almost done with the earl grey cookies. What would you like to do?”
Morgana frowned. “What’s left?”
“Macarons, the bread puddings, drizzle cake, and the Chelsea buns.”
Arthur from his spot on the rolling kitchen island told his sister, “Do the drizzle cake it’s the easiest.”
Morgana stubborn as ever declared, “No I’ll make the macarons.”
Arthur groaned. “Of course, you want to make the most difficult one.”
Merlin, sliding the scones into the oven turned to Morgana. “Gana those are really tricky to do, and didn’t you say you could barely cook an egg?”
She huffed, “If Arthur can do it, surely I am can.”
Gwen whipped her head away from her work. “Arthur can make macarons?”
Arthur turned around and gave Gwen a mocking smile. “Gee thanks, Guinevere.”
Gwen gave him a pointed look with no real heat. “Sorry for assuming you were as baking challenged as Morgana.”
“A friend’s mum taught me when I was little,” Arthur said with a shrug.
Merlin smiled softly down at the scones.
Hunith had taught Merlin from a young age that if he wanted yummy baked goodies, he would have to help make them, a concept that was clearly a surprise to Arthur. And yet there was Arthur, sitting on his knees on the chair face deep in concentration as he beat the buttercream by hand.
It was pouring outside and rather than let them go off and play videogames in Arthur’s room Hunith had decided to have the boys help bake something instead.
They only had one hand mixer and after Arthur's hilarious failure earlier, Hunith decided that it would be wiser for the boys to take turns beating it by hand while she worked on the macaron batter.
Merlin’s wooden chair was jammed right next to Arthur’s allowing him to sit half on Arthur’s chair and half on his, their left elbows pressed together.
The dark-haired boy looked into the bowl and nodded to himself. “Alright, I think it’s time to add in the powdered sugar.”
Arthur sighed in relief and let go of the whisp.
Merlin tried not to giggle at Arthur’s overdramatic arm flop instead he called out for his mum. “Mum! Can we have the powdered sugar please?”
“Sure, one second loves.” She called from the counter as she finished up with the electric mixer.
Arthur smiled shyly at the affectionate nickname and it made Merlin oddly happy.
The first time his mum had used a pet name in front of Arthur he had looked so surprised. Later when they were out in the woods, he had confessed that he had thought parents only did that on the tele.
“Look here loves,” Hunith said with a gleeful smile as she lifted the bowl upside down over her head.
Merlin had seen this trick before but giggled at Arthur’s look of wonder.
“WOW! How are you doing that Ms. Emrys?!” The blond asked.
She grinned, “Magic.”
Merlin shook his head as he moved over to give Morgana his space on the countertop.
Arthur had really enjoyed the baking lessons back then and by the end of the summer had gotten his mum's approval to not only use the electric mixer again but to also help with the macaron batter.
Merlin smiled at the memory of Arthur’s pure look of joy when he turned the bowl over and the batter hadn’t fallen on his head.
As he stepped away Arthur tilted his head, motioning him over. “There’s space over here if you want to start on the macarons.”
He felt his heart flutter as he grabbed the ingredients for the dessert and brought them over to Arthur’s side.
Arthur glanced up at him, “I’m almost done with the biscuits I can do the filling if you like.”
Merlin nodded, he kept his eyes on the recipe on his phone. It had been a while since he’d made macarons and he had looked up his mum’s recipe on his mobile. He had saved it in his note’s app like most of her recipes.
The two worked in silence, the girls chatting behind them as Gwen worked on her dessert and helped Morgana.
Merlin tried to focus solely on his task, he really did but as he slowly poured and whisp ingredients in his eyes kept drifting to Arthur’s hands as he started on the filing.
It was strange, he had never really looked at Arthur’s hands before but there was something unfairly sensual about them as they worked. His fingers weren’t particularly long, in fact, he was pretty sure his fingers were longer than Arthur's but not by much. And while he would have assumed they would be soft, looking at them it seemed the opposite was true.
Must be from all that rugby, Merlin thought to himself. Arthur had mentioned once he’d been playing since he was little.
There was a firmness to them, to how Arthur touched things. How he held the mixing bowl, the whisp, a power to them. He wondered if it was because of his fingers or his palms. There was a wideness in his palms, in the look of them and it made Merlin want to press their hands together to compare. To know what they felt like against his own. Not a brush of hands like when he passed Arthur a book or a beer but to properly feel the touch of his skin against his own. A thrill ran up his spine at the thought.
“No need to watch me, Merlin, honestly all of you, your lack of faith in my baking skills is heartwarming,” Arthur said with a huff.
Merlin tore his eyes away and felt his face warm. “Yeah well, this wouldn’t be the first time you lied about being good at something.” He was pleased at his somewhat good comeback, and even more so that Arthur hadn’t caught on with the real reason he had been staring.
Arthur spurted, probably remembering the incident at the fair while Morgana and Gwen laughed.
“That’s NOT fair!” Merlin shouted. His fists curled up by his side as he glared at Arthur.
They had been playing in the woods, Arthur a Knight King while Merlin was the Most Powerful Sorcerer in all the lands.
“Is too!” Arthur shouted glaring back.
The two were having a duel to see who was more powerful when Arthur had ordered Merlin to fight without magic.
“It’s not fair that you get to use your sword,” Merlin pointed at the stick Arthur had been using, “when I can’t use magic!”
“Is too! And I’m the king so you have to do what I say!” Arthur declared looking all smug.
Merlin glared. Arthur was better at fighting with the sticks and they both knew it. “Fine! Then I don’t want to play with you anyway!”
He stomped off as Arthur shouted from behind him. “FINE! I DON’T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU EITHER!”
“Hello earth to Merrrliiiin,” Gwaine teased.
Merlin's head snapped up. “What?” His friends laughed.
It was Friday night and they had decided to grab a drink at the pub near uni to relax after a stressful week of classes.
“I think all that maths are finally getting to him,” Arthur teased from beside him. His hand pressed against Merlin’s forehead in joke.
Merlin somehow stopped himself from shivering at the feel of Arthur’s firm palm against his skin and instead rolled his eyes.
Arthur always liked to tease him for wanting to be a maths teacher. “Actually, I was wondering how you got into uni when you can barely count to three.”
Percy nearly choked on his beer. Merlin counted that as a success.
“Well, obviously I wrote them down on my palm so I wouldn’t forget Merlin.” The blond replied as he rolled his eyes in a clear obviously.
Leon had chosen the wrong moment to drink his beer and was actually choking. They all laughed.
Once again Merlin felt his eyes fell on Arthur, as he grinned smugly, pleased by everyone’s reactions to his joke.
Merlin kicked up the dirt around him muttering insults as he went. Stupid cabbage-head Arthur! He was a bugger and a real twat! He knew his mum would be mad if she heard him say that, but she wasn’t around so yeah!
He huffed. Why did he play with Arthur in the first place?
The sound of ruffling leaves came from behind him. Merlin turned, his arms crossed, and glared as Arthur came out of the bushes. “What do you want?”
Arthur looked down at his feet and muttered something so quietly he could only hear sounds, not words.
Merlin frowned, “What?”
Arthur sighed angrily and glared at him. “I SAID you can use magic in our stupid duel.”
Merlin grinned in triumph! Yes! He got Arthur to cave!
But he couldn’t help but wonder why Arthur had caved so quickly though. He hadn’t thought he would. “I thought you didn’t want to play with me anymore.”
Arthur looked away and pouted. “I only said that because you said it first.”
He looked so sad, his blue eyes somehow a shade darker, like when the sky was readying for the day to end. He went his belly twist at the thought.“I didn’t mean it. I was just mad because you always win when we swordfight.”
“Well, you always win when you use magic!”
Merlin frowned. He hadn’t thought of that, but he supposed it was true. He did always win when he used magic. It made him feel a little guilty. An idea popped into his head. “As the Most Powerful Sorcerer and the Knight King, it’s kinda stupid to fight each other.”
Arthur frowned, “Then who should we fight?”
“We should team up and fight other baddies!” Merlin replied excitedly. “Like bandits! Or crown thieves! Or evil sorcerers! With your sword and my magic, we’d be unstoppable!”
A small smile began to tug on Arthur’s face. “Alliance then?”
Merlin nodded.
The boys then shook at it. Then Arthur leaned in and whispered, “Did you hear that, Merlin?”
Merlin frowned. “What?” He whispered back.
Arthur grinned, “I think I heard something moving in the bushes.” He then winked.
Merlin giggled. “I heard it too! I think it’s bandits!”
He then grabbed Arthur’s hand and they ran further into the woods giggling as they fought imaginary bandits along the way. His eyes finding Arthur’s over and over again and a giddy feeling filling his chest at the cheerful shade of blue was back in Arthur’s eyes.
Merlin spent the rest of the night joking with his friends, waiting until everyone was not paying attention or too drunk to notice as Merlin once again studied Arthur’s eyes.
They were still the same blue that made him think of an endless sky. He had once been sure that there was no end to them, that just like if he walked across the world looking up the entire time he would never find an end to the sky, if he looked into Arthur's eyes he would get lost in their endlessness.
It made him wonder how he hadn’t realised it earlier. Who Arthur was. He could never forget those eyes and yet it had been three years since they met again and he hadn’t made the connection. The only thing he could come up with is that all this time he had been looking at Arthur but not truly seeing him. Not properly.
The idea annoyed him. But not nearly as much as Arthur not truly seeing him either.
“Alright,” Leon groaned. “It’s getting late and some of us have things to do tomorrow. I suggest we all head out.”
Gwaine clapped his hands around his mouth, “Booooo!”
Percy shook his head. “Aren’t you having brunch with your mum tomorrow?”
“She knows what kind of kid she raised.”
Merlin cracked up at that, “And on that note, I’m heading off. Ta!”
The others called out their goodbyes.
He had just wormed his way out of the booth when Arthur called out behind him. “Wait up I’ll head out with you.”
He turned his head back and nodded. Pulling on his light jacket as he waited. It took only a moment for Arthur to join him.
“Ready?”
Arthur nodded and waved goodbye to the others as they strolled out the front door.
Merlin enjoyed the warm breeze as they stepped outside. The night was dark, well, except for all the light coming from the streetlamps and neon signs.
They walked in silence as they left the pub. It was not unusual for the two to walk or even hang out silently, normally they were so at ease with each other, but this silence felt different. Loaded. Merlin was unsure why though. Finally, the silence was broken.
Arthur sighed in annoyance. “Just say it.”
Merlin frowned, “Say what?”
Arthur shrugged, “Whatever has been bothering you all week.” Merlin opened his mouth, but Arthur cut him off. “Don’t lie you’ve been lost in thought all week. Well, more than normal, and your face has been rather pensive.”
The dark-haired man bit his lip. Should he tell Arthur? A thousand thoughts seemed to run through his head.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but you know you can tell me anything right?” Arthur looked straight ahead as he spoke. His voice trying to be light and friendly, so as to not pressure Merlin.
“Let’s play Hot Seat.” Merlin blurted out.
Arthur stopped walking and stared at him. A clear question on his face but he sighed and started walking again. “Alright. What… was the biggest lie you told your mum?”
While that was a good one, and he would definitely save that one for later, it was not the question he wanted to hear. “No don’t ask me that.”
Arthur huffed. “Well, what do you want me to ask Merlin?”
Merlin licked his lips before looking Arthur in the eye and said, “Ask me about my first kiss.”
He hadn’t known what he was expecting but it wasn’t a pleased smile as Arthur tucked his hands into his pocket and replied, “So, you do remember.”
Merlin froze, his mouth wide open as he spluttered out, “Wait-! You! But you! You said you didn’t remember my name!”
Arthur threw his head back and laughed. “Like I could really forget the name of my first kiss! Especially when the name is such an odd one.”
Merlin glared, grumbling. “Better than having a name every fifth kid has.”
Arthur refused to respond simply rolled his eyes.
“Hang on if you knew it was me the whole time why didn’t you say anything?”
Arthur shrugged, a playful look on his face as he said, “I was annoyed that you didn’t remember me.”
“What are-?” Merlin started only to stop walking once again. Oh.
“Did I just hear your name was Merlin?”
It was his second week at Uni and Merlin and his friends decided to go to a house party not far from campus. He turned to his left to see a rather posh-looking blond smirking at him. “Yeah?”
He didn’t think it was possible but somehow the blond looked even more smug as he introduced himself. “Arthur Pendragon.” The words rolling off his tongue as if Merlin should know who he was.
Merlin pushed his lips together and gave him a polite smile as he held up his beer in greeting. “Right,” He then turned back to the bloke he had been talking to.
Arthur put his hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention back. Merlin sighed, “What?”
Arthur frowned, “I’m Arthur. Arthur Pendragon?” Once again saying the name like he should know who he is.
“You keep saying that like I’m supposed to know who that is? I’m sorry but I don’t keep up with trust fund monthly.” He probably shouldn’t have said the second bit, but the bloke was just so smug it was nice to see his face fall in anger. As if to say how dare this lowly commoner not know who I am?
Arthur glared furiously at Merlin before looking him up and down and laughed. Laughed! “Yeah, I can see that mate, no one in trust fund monthly would be caught dead wearing that watch.”
He frowned. His Uncle Gaius had given him that watch! It wasn’t fancy but he was quite fond of it. “Better than wearing designer clothes to a kegger.”
Merlin remembered them going at each other for a bit longer before they both sneered at each other and left. He had always wondered why Arthur had picked him out of the crowd that day to be a pompous arse to, only now he knew why.
“Oh god, you weren’t trying to be a rich wanker were you?” Merlin said in horror.
Arthur chuckled, “No. No, I wasn’t.”
Merlin swore. “Why didn’t you say anything!”
“I tried to, but then you make the trust fund comment, and I was…” He said looking sheepish, “Embarrassed.”
“What why?” Merlin was the one who should be embarrassed for being such an arse!
Arthur shrugged, “Because you didn’t remember me.”
Merlin grabbed his arm. “Hey, I didn’t forget you I just didn’t recognize you. To me you were always just Arthur, I think I forgot your last name like the second I met you.”
Arthur laughed. “I eventually gathered that.”
Arthur’s face was soft and at ease, like it didn’t bother him but the fact that it once did stung. After all, he had been feeling rather put out when he thought Arthur hadn’t known and that had only been for a week!
“I’m sorry.” Merlin said, “For being a prat back then.”
“It's fine, I can see why you thought that, and my treatment of you after certainly didn’t help.”
Merlin laughed. It was true, Arthur had been an utter pillock after that night. Things had eventually calmed down between them months later when their group of friends started spending more time together. “To be fair, I had met a fair amount of Arthurs, it didn’t even occur to me to hope it was you anymore.”
Merlin cursed himself as soon as he saw Arthur smirking gleefully. “You hoped?”
He groaned, “Oh fuck off.”
That did not stop Arthur from throwing his arm around Merlin’s shoulder and grinning ear to ear. “Did you pine over me, Merlin?”
He scoffed, “Absolutely not!” He then grinned when he remembered Arthur’s words from the other night. “But apparently you did.”
Now it was Arthur’s turn to groan. His arm slinging off Merlin’s shoulder.
Merlin’s smile grew wider as he saw Arthur’s face turn a rather lovely shade of pink.
“I knew that bit would come to haunt me.” The blond muttered.
Merlin swung his arm around Arthur’s lower back, crowding into his space as they continued to walk. They were only a few blocks away from Merlin’s flat but he planned to milk this for as long as possible. “You pined for me! Oh! I bet you compared that kiss with every other person you kissed!” He teased.
Arthur smirked at that, and oh that can’t be good, Merlin thought.
“As it so happens I did, but only to reflect on how much better those other kisses were.”
Merlin knew he was being baited but he couldn’t resist. “That was a great kiss! You were all dreamy eye talking about it!”
Arthur scoffed, “I was not. If anything, I was amused, because it’s an entertaining first kiss story but the kiss itself was, well eh.”
Merlin glared, “It was NOT!”
Arthur smirked, “It was barely a kiss. Your lips touched mine for barely a second before you pulled away. Honestly, I feel bad for all your exes if kissing you was anything like it was for me.”
With his arm still around Arthur, he pinched him.
“OW!”
“Oh, I’ll show you a bloody kiss!” He muttered.
Smugly Arthur said, “I like to see you try.”
Merlin continued to glare at the blond when he saw Arthur glance down at Merlin’s lips. A look of anticipation in his eyes.
He felt his blood rushing and he could feel himself grinning like a bloody loon.
Arthur frowned. “Why are you smiling.”
“You want me to kiss you.” Merlin said gleefully, “You said all that because you want me to kiss you again.”
He scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous Merlin.” But the damage was already done, Arthur’s face was no more a light pink but a bright red that could be seen even in the fading light of the streetlamps.
Merlin chuckled, “Honestly if you wanted me to kiss you again all you needed to do was ask.”
Arthur spurted clearly about to make an argument about how that was complete rubbish, but Merlin had had enough. He used the arm that was still around Arthur to turn him towards him and used his other hand to cup Arthur’s face in his hand before finally, finally leaning forward and pressing his lips against Arthur’s.
Even though it had been more than ten years since their last kiss the feeling of Arthur’s lips against him was almost achingly familiar. It was slightly bitter from the beer Arthur had been drinking earlier, and yet familiar.
Young Merlin at the time had barely registered anything other than Arthur’s chapped lips against his own equally chapped ones. But now he smiled, not caring how awkward it made the kiss, but chuffed over the fact that Arthur’s lips were still somehow chapped like when they were kids. So focused on the wonderful feeling of familiarity of Arthur’s chapped lips against his own it took him a minute to realise another way it was different.
This time Arthur was kissing him back. Rather enthusiastically.
Arthur’s hands were firmly on his hips pulling him closer. The realisation made a thrill go through him, as he moved his hand that was on Arthur’s back up so that it was pressing between his shoulder blades. He tilted his face deepening the kiss and nearly dying at Arthur’s little groan of approval.
He’s not sure how long they stood there, snogging in the middle of an empty sidewalk late at night but long enough for both of them to be breathless when they finally pulled apart.
With his eyes closed, Merlin pressed his forehead against Arthur’s as he tried to catch his breath. “So what’s the verdict cabbage-head?”
Arthur chuckled, “I suppose it wasn’t terrible.”
“Prat.”
“Idiot.”
Merlin opened his eyes and felt his heart flutter as he looked into Arthur’s eyes. “You know I always had a thing for your eyes.” He whispered.
Arthur grinned, “I liked your hair. I was always itching to play with it.” He then reached up and started playing with one of his curls.
Merlin smiled softly at the admission. “I spent hours trying to figure out the exact shade of blue they were.” Remembering it made him laugh.
“What’s so funny about that Merlin?” Arthur asked, his face full of amusement.
He shook his head, enjoying the way Arthur’s forehead brushed against his own. “It’s just- in retrospective it’s funny how I didn’t realise I had a crush on you back then until after I kissed you.”
Arthur laughed, “If it helps, I didn’t realise it either. Not until after you kissed me.”
Merlin licked his lips, he felt his heart thunder anxiously as he asked, “And what about now?”
“Now?”
“Yeah, how do you feel after me kissing you now?” Merlin asked, his entire body tensing as he waited.
Arthur smiled, that small pleased smile that made him ache in want. Arthur pressed his nose against Merlin’s and took his hands in his. “Like I’m ten again, and the most surprising and wonderous thing just happened to me. You?”
“Same except better because this time I know you're not going to disappear tomorrow.” He then pulled his head away from Arthur. “You aren’t going anywhere, right?”
Arthur chuckled and pressed a swift kiss against Merlin’s lips, causing around thrill to go through him. “No Merlin, I’m not going anywhere.”
And he didn’t. Instead, Arthur stayed over that night, and the one after that, and the one after that. Only for them to switch to Arthur’s the next night after because his bed was bigger.