Chapter Text
When ArcLight Cinemas in LA announced its upcoming closure, Shayne was crushed. Going to Arclight was item #1 on his post-COVID to-do list. There was something so comforting about the place: the enchanting smells of cheap popcorn and nacho cheese, the teenagers awkwardly holding hands in the back row, the occasional selfies with flustered fans. Shayne could always count on that place for a good time. Plus, it was one of the few social situations where he felt totally at ease. All you had to do was show up, watch a movie someone else made, and crack some funny jokes about it on the way back home. It was his comfort hangout spot for sure, and the sudden revelation that it might never come back to him was more devastating than Shayne was willing to admit.
Naturally, Damien took the bad news as an opportunity. Since everyone in the Smosh cast had finally been fully vaccinated, he was itching to pour some extra love on his best friends, and the closure of the beloved theater provided a perfect opportunity for him to do so. He developed a new routine with Shayne: every day after work for a few weeks, he would drive over to Shayne’s apartment, drown a giant bowl of popcorn in salty butter, pour some cartoonishly large sodas, and sit down with his best friend to watch one of the many movies they had missed over the past year. Shayne told him not to worry about it at first, but he couldn’t deny that he had been having more fun during those nights than he had throughout most of the previous year combined. There was something so comforting about his best friend’s presence in private. He acted authentically in front of the cameras, but it would never be quite the same as these moments when it was just the two of them. Shayne had almost forgotten the way Damien’s laugh bubbled over quicker than a machine gun when he wasn’t paranoid about sounding annoying in front of his coworkers, the way he would sit shoulder to shoulder with Shayne when he wasn’t worried about fueling any more fan edits, the way his voice sounded so buttery and warm when he dropped it low enough for only Shayne to hear. He had missed his friend so much, and these nights were reminding him all over again why they had become such close friends in the first place all those years ago.
They were about an hour into the live action Mulan film one night when Courtney’s icon lit up Shayne’s phone. He paused the movie and accepted the Facetime request, leaning in closer to his friend so they would both fit on screen.
To the surprise of both boys, it was Olivia’s face that showed up first. She appeared to be lying on her stomach in bed.
“Shayne! I have a very important question for you! How are you doing this evening? That isn’t the question.”
Shayne quirked an eyebrow. “I take it you’re with Courtney?”
“Nooooo,” Olivia answered, tilting the screen so Courtney’s pink hair was visible in the bottom corner. “I’m alone. Now answer the question. The first one that isn’t THE question.”
“Riiiiight. Uh, I’m good. Hanging out with Damien.”
Damien half-waved at the screen and said, “Yo!”
Olivia cooed, “Oh hello Damien how are you! I love you!”
“Good?” he replied, giggling. “I love you too, only-Olivia-and-definitely-not-Courtney. What’s your burning question?”
“Right! Shania: does Aunt Carolyn enjoy smoking marijuana?”
Shayne made a bewildered face. “What?”
“Does she ever smoke up on a Saturday night? You know, watching Toddlers and Tiaras or a murder documentary or whatever?”
“Uhhh, no? She drinks wine, but that’s about it.”
“Umm,” Damien interjected, “incorrect. She definitely pops a Xanny every now and then.”
Shayne laughed. “You know what, yeah, she absolutely does pop a Xanny every now and then. But to answer your question, Olivia, no, she doesn’t smoke weed.”
“FUCK!” Courtney’s voice cut through the phone like a knife. Damien flinched, the sound clearly hurting his ears. “DAMMIT SHAYNE, WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?”
“Okay okay, I’m sorry!” he replied, “I’m just going with my gut! What are you guys even doing?”
“Talking about our favorite Smosh cineverse characters and cuddling because we love each other,” Olivia answered, giving Courtney an overly dramatic kiss on the top of her head. “What are you guys doing?”
“We’re watching a movie,” Damien responded, “and not cuddling because we don’t love each other.”
Courtney chimed in, “How can you not be cuddling right now? We’re finally allowed to hug each other again after over a year of being completely touch starved.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Damien deadpanned, “I cannot possibly be touch starved because I have not felt human touch in so long that I can no longer remember what it feels like. Can’t crave something you can’t imagine!”
Courtney was undeterred. “Seriously, you guys should try it. Don’t you have that whole anti-toxic masculinity thing going on anyway? Now’s the perfect time!”
She was referring to an agreement Shayne and Damien had made after they filmed the 47th episode of the Smoshcast in early January. In it, Ian had mentioned that being emotionally open with your bros can still be difficult even in the 21st century and Damien initially disagreed. He argued that things are different nowadays and all his male friends were totally chill with him talking about his feelings every now and then. Shayne had pointed out that even when the men in their circle of friends did talk about their feelings, they tended to do so by funneling those feelings into professional little phrases like “I’ve been feeling really down,” “I’m working through it,” etc., but they would never quite be fully emotionally open. The realization had caught Damien completely off guard. “Yeah,” he had conceded, “my version of being emotional about it is just being like, ‘yeah, I mean, I won’t lie, it sucks, but y’know!’ and then capping it off with something else.” Damien laughed it off on screen, but Shayne could tell it was weighing on his mind for the rest of the episode.
After the shoot, Shayne and Damien mentioned the subject to Courtney, asking her what the opposite of toxic masculinity was. Shayne had heard the term “wholesome masculinity” before, so he had been expecting to hear that, but her actual response caught him off guard. “Vulnerability,” she had said. “The opposite of toxic masculinity is vulnerability. Telling the vulnerable truth.” That night Shayne and Damien made a commitment to be “accountability bros” for the coming year, helping each other transform their “but y’know” moments into vulnerable truth whenever they could.
Looking at Courtney’s bubbly face smooshed against her friend’s on the screen, Shayne felt a pang of jealousy in his chest. Courtney had always been so open, so willing to wear her heart on her sleeve. What must it be like to show that much affection to everyone around you without worrying about how it’ll come off? Shayne could barely hug his own older brothers without overthinking it. He was suddenly very aware of the place where his arm rested against his friend’s, and he wondered if Damien had noticed it as well.
Courtney’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “All we’re sayin’ is you guys have a lot of toxic masculinity unlearning to do, and you know what’s reeeeally non-toxic?” She grinned. “Fat tip markers, bay-bee!! But also cuddling.”
“Yo,” Olivia responded, “do you wanna fucking color with some markers right now?”
Courtney squealed. “Bro, I literally have an adult coloring book in my closet that I’ve been waiting to use since like before quarantine started.”
“Okay, we’re coloring now,” Olivia announced. “Bye, Damien! Bye, Shaney! You guys better cuddle! We expect pics!”
The call ended, leaving Damien and Shayne staring awkwardly at a blank screen. Damien turned to his friend, making forced eye contact.
“You know, we could cuddle right now, or we could finish this movie and not do that.”
“Agreed,” Shayne replied.
They did turn the movie back on, but they stayed close enough for their arms to touch the whole time. Shayne found his thoughts drifting, overly conscious of what his arm felt like. Was it too tough because of all the working out he did? Was it sweaty? Was it bothering Damien and he was just too polite to pull away? He doubted that last one, though. Damien seemed completely comfortable, just as relaxed as he had been before the Facetime call. Shayne was probably just overthinking things again. He forced his attention back onto the plot of the film.
When the movie ended and Shayne shut the door behind his friend, he found himself letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He blew out his candles and got ready for bed, hoping to wake up in the morning with a clearer mind.