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When Benrey first moved in with Gordon one of the many things he noticed about their now shared house was all the nightlights scattered throughout, there was one for every room. And the nighttime rituals of watching Gordon use his phone light before laying down to make sure nothing was there in the room with them.
How Gordon's body would tense up most nights out of fear even with the knowledge that nothing was there.
There were even other things he noticed like the hall light always being on once it became dark and same with the stovelight. They never said anything about it, instead just watching silently and wondering if it was because of what happened or if he was always like this.
They found the answer to that question later on one day when a storm hit knockin the power out he remembers the way Gordon looked at him sheepishly wrapped in a blanket standing in the hallway asking if they’d mind being his personal nightlight at least until he fell asleep. They teased him a bit at first asking if he was really afraid of the dark.
He wasn’t expecting Gordon to say yes and to continue on explaining he always has been but his fear has been even worse since the events of black mesa. They didn’t tease him about being scared of the dark again after that.
He remembers the look of happiness on Gordons face when they went shopping and Benrey pointed out the nightlight that was sea themed. It was blue with a sea floor background and had a turtle and starfish in it.
He remembers Gordon's happiness quickly turning to nervousness when he asked if it was simply too childish to get so happy over something so un-adult- like. And for a second time Benrey didn’t tease him for it instead re-assuring the other that only the coolest of people got the sea themed night light and it’d be pretty uncool of Gordon not too.
They bought the nightlight after that it took its rightful place in their bedroom, Gordon still asked Benrey sometimes to give off a faint glow embarrassingly admitting he found the soft hum of static, dimness of the light, and warmth comforting.
They weren’t often warm; he often got a high pitched yelp whenever he stuck his hands under the back of Gordons shirt or when his own foot would press against the other's leg or something when trying to cuddle in bed. Always resulting in Gordon pulling away and complaining about how cold he was like a living ice pack.
There of course was always a few jokes that came with this like saying what’s the point of needing an ice pack when he could just simply place his hand on whatever it may be. Or if emitting off a light for long enough you could probably even cook eggs on him.
They both did try to test out the latter, Gordon’s curiosity too powerful to ignore and with the promise of something in return though that experiment was quickly abandoned after sometime because of safety and it’d take too long to get that hot and whatever else it was Gordon said.
Something about lights and them bright too bright, they both did make eggs in the end but it was on the stove instead.
Over time Benrey noticed how Gordon was slowly becoming able to take some of the night lights out of the other rooms of the house. It took awhile to finally be able to leave the hall light off and no longer have any night lights in every room though. Gordon still had to flash around his little phone light every night and the sea themed night light stayed in the bedroom where it belonged, giving off its soft blue glow.
On bad nights they’d leave the hall light on and sometimes Gordon would wake Benrey to have him come to the bathroom with him and wait by the door so they could walk back to the bedroom together hand in hand finding comfort and safety in his presence. And Benrey was always the first to walk into pitch black rooms making sure it was safe and turn on the lights before Gordon would follow.
It was their own little rituals they shared and Benrey wouldn’t change any of them so now in their shared house Benrey noticed a lot of little things about it like how there were no longer as many nightlights. The nighttime rituals are still the same but different at the same time they felt less out of anxiety and more of just old habits.
The way Gordon’s body was relaxed at night and instead no longer tense with fear how he’d melt in the others touch and easily wake him if needed.
How now it felt like home.