i liked it better when you were on my side

by WICKEDP0WERS

Summary:

“I need to know if you still love me,” Ty said. “I hate not knowing things, Kit. And for three years you have remained an unsolvable mystery to me.”

***
When Kit gets an invitation to host a three day Shadowhunter conference at the Scholomance, he immediately expects the worst out of it. Running would be a fool's game, he knows that; which is why he needs to put his chin up and face the past that keeps haunting his dreams.

Notes:

special thanks to noor who listened to me ramble about my plot and gave me the most amazing prompts and inspiration for this fic.

big thank you to zq whose dms i have yelled in numerous times. thanks for the sparring idea and for being the best first reader in history.

folow me on twt (@WICKEDP0WERS)

In the haze of Kit’s dreams, he saw everything with a wave of disorienting clarity. Some nights he saw his father, standing motionless as the mantid demons made their way to him. Other nights he saw his mother, beaten down and tortured at the hands of the fair folk. But most nights, Kit saw a pair of grey eyes filled with tears in a body beaten down with grief. 

 

In these dreams, he couldn’t do anything but watch. He stands motionless as everything takes place. Johnny Rook gets torn apart by demons, Rosemary Herondale gets tortured by the fae, and Kit Herondale leaves Ty Blackthorn in the darkness of it all; these were all truths that he could never change. 

 

It happens over and over again, as if it’s on a never ending loop of scenes Kit wanted to cut out from his life. They’d come to him in the night and leave as a wispy blur come morning. 

 

He’d see the same grey eyes and feel the cold steel of a knife against his throat while he marvels at the sensation of teetering off the edge of a cliff. 

 

And in the haze of Kit’s dreams, he keeps on falling. 

 

***

Kit awoke with a start, a heavy weight settling on his chest. Of course, his nightmares were a plague that usually followed him even as the daylight seeped through his windows. But this morning was different seeing as the pressure on top of him was a welcome one in the form of his sleeping sister. 

 

Mina was curled up on his chest with drool lining her chin, hitting the cotton of Kit’s shirt. His past self would have blanched at the idea of having to cater to a drooling, walking, talking child but when he first laid eyes on Mina, he knew that that would all change. Even at the age of three years old, she already knew what to get what she wanted from Kit. Which would explain why Kit was serving as Mina’s personal mattress for the night. 

 

He turned his head slowly at the sound of a camera clicking, making sure that Mina didn’t stir in her sleep. “Put down the camera, Simon.” 

 

“Come over here and make me. Oh, that’s right. You can’t.” Being Jace’s cousin warranted mandatory trips to the New York Institute pretty much every month. Said trips usually include training with Jace and avoiding training with Jace by talking to Simon. It was an easy task considering their shared love for a lot of mundane things. Talking to Simon felt like reconnecting with a past that seemed so far away from where he is now. Sometimes, when he sees the look in Simon’s eyes as he discusses his Marvel theories, he could wager that the older man feels the same way. 

 

Kit shook his head softly. “I can’t stand, I can’t move, I can’t speak too loud, and I can’t breathe too hard. Please, Simon. Have mercy.”

 

Simon snorted and padded softly across the carpet. “Why are you even on the floor?” He knelt beside Kit as he slowly ushered him into a sitting position. 

 

“Because Mina wanted to try it,” he mumbled. Truthfully, he wasn’t ashamed of doing every single thing his sister asked him to. With the childhood he grew up with, he knew it was important to be able to create a good environment for children. But at times like these when his back is aching, his shirt is covered in drool, and his friend has to assist him in getting up, he really wished he had more resistance. 

 

“I’ll put her in her crib and you go shower. We’re gonna be leaving soon so make sure you’re all set.” Kit nodded as Simon took Mina in his arms, gazing at her with the kind of fondness one has when in the company of the young girl. With one last glance at the pair, he stumbled out of the room and headed for the bathroom. 

 

Of course he wasn’t foolish enough to forget about the very trip that he claims would be the downfall of life as he knew it. The simple thought of the conference sent chills down his spine; whether in anticipation or fear, he didn’t know. 

 

He’s spent weeks trying to get himself out of this situation but it seems that fate has already decided to punish him. He even went as far as to plead to the Consul himself over a dinner of Thai take-out at a small get-together but he was only met with thinly veiled amusement and a wish of good luck. 

 

The Clave’s decision to hold a Shadowhunter conference for the students of the Academy and the Scholomance seemed to interfere with his decision to avoid certain students at both institutions. 

 

He remembered the day that he got the fire message from Jace and the accompanying drop of his heart at each word he read. Don’t make any plans for the first three days of September , it read. Kit remembered rolling his eyes at the blatant order. 

 

The Clave has decided to hold a conference for students of the Scholomance and the Academy. Something about teaching fighting techniques and weaponry skills, I think. Alec told me to invite you to be a guest speaker and demonstrator along with the New York Institute. Don’t ask me why. I think he thinks that you’ve improved much on your training. Personally, your landing needs more work and your fighting stance is off balance but that’s neither here nor there. Stick to the training schedule I gave you and you might stand a chance. 

 

There’s no getting out of this, so don’t even try. Pack your best jacket, I hear it’s cold up in the Carpathian mountains. 

 

The best cousin ever, 

J.H.

 

He knew Jace said that there was no chance of getting out of this particular commitment that he didn’t even commit to, but what were Herondales if not persistent?

 

His desperation has led him to believe that there was a possibility that he would get out unscathed. He volunteered to be part of the organization committee, he bribed them with a large chunk of his remaining money, and he even went as far as to butcher every training session he had with Jace to get taken off the event’s lineup. Yet every deal he tried to strike fell flat as fate laughed in his face once again. What good were his negotiation skills if he can’t even use them to get out of an event he doesn’t want to go to?

 

He wasn’t as obtuse as some people may think he is. He knows that Ty would be there in the thick of it all. Some part of Kit knew that it was always bound to happen, their lives ran in the same circles and the inevitability of them facing each other again was nearing. His heartbeat was loud in his chest at the thought of Ty and he couldn’t think of anything else. 

 

A knock sounded through the bathroom door as Kit stepped out of the shower. “Kit, Magnus will be opening a portal in ten minutes. He wanted me to tell you to quit moping and get this over with.” Despite himself, Kit smiled at Magnus’ words in Jem’s gentle voice. “Of course, I omitted some choice words from his sentence. I was sure you wouldn’t appreciate it at a time like this.”

 

Pulling a shirt over his head, Kit swung the door open and was met with the sight of Jem standing idly a few steps away. “I’ll be down in a few minutes, I just need to double check my bags first.” 

 

Jem nodded but didn’t move. “You’re very brave, do you know that?”

 

Kit snorted and looked away from Jem’s kind and open face. There was something about the man that made him want to let down all his defenses, and at a time like this, he thinks it’s best to keep his guard up. “I’m really not. I tried everything I could to get out of this stupid conference; like a coward.”

 

“Just because you have your fears does not mean that you are a coward,” Jem said. “It just means that you’re human.”

 

“Then I guess that makes me a very fearful human, then.” Kit sat down on the foot of his bed and Jem followed suit. “Part of me guesses that that’s the reason why Jace insisted on sleeping over and going through the portal with me. He thought I’d run”

 

“Why would you say that?”

 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Jem, but I kind of have an affinity for running away from my problems.” He tried to lighten up the mood yet Jem was still looking at him with an intent expression. He remembered a time when that look made him antsy, as if Jem was peering into the contents of his soul. Now, he just feels recognized. 

 

“Did you think about running away from this?”

 

“I told you, I tried to get out of this thing about a million times.”

 

“We both know you could have tried harder. You could have packed your bags and walked away; hid yourself before all of this happened and come back when it was done.”

 

Kit shook his head. None of the solutions Jem gave sounded appealing to him. The thought of running away again seemed to be an impossible thought when it once seemed like the only solution he could ever take. He supposes that he’s planted his roots enough to know when not to let go anymore. 

 

“I blame this on you and your good influences,” Kit settled for saying. He wanted to say that having him and Tessa take him in was the best thing they could have done for him; that it made him grow into a better person who doesn’t retreat in fear. He never seemed to find the proper words but he knew that Jem understood. 

 

With an upward quirk of his lips and a pat on the shoulder, Jem stood up and hauled Kit to his feet. “I take full credit for your actions then.” Kit returned his smile, then. “Now, let’s get downstairs. Tessa made waffles for everyone.”

 

He knew without a doubt that Jem would always understand him. 

 

***

The Scholomance was every bit as challenging as Ty imagined it but it was the exact sort of knowledge he craved to keep him constantly on his toes. A lot of his fellow classmates were as dedicated to their craft as he was, all of them poised for solving crimes and had a knack for sniffing out clues. So it was no surprise that they were able to link the Herondale necklace that seemed to be permanently hanging around his neck to a certain blue eyed blonde. 

 

From there, people have made their assumptions. People who looked up to the Herondale line came up to him and asked if they could ever meet Kit or Jace — to solidify family relations, he supposes— and every time, he would give a non-committal answer. He couldn’t tell them that Kit didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and would most likely not appreciate the fact that he was leading strangers to his door. 

 

Sometimes he felt as if he was going mad with the way he held onto Kit. He knew he was selfish, he was told as much three years ago. But if this charade was the only way to keep Kit in his life, then he would play the game willingly. 

 

He always knew that Kit would follow in the footsteps of his famous ancestors. He’d heard the whispers in the Scholomance corridors about the so-called Lost Herondale as he fought to keep his mouth shut. You don’t know him like I do! He wanted to scream at them as they traded gossip like it was any of their business. 

 

But the bone jarring reality of it all was that Ty may as well just know Kit the same way that everyone else does. With the three years they’ve spent apart, he wonders if Kit is still the same person that occupies his every thought. All he knew of Kit now was the scraps of gossip that he hears every now and then like he’s some sort of stranger. It felt as if he was fighting for some piece of Kit that may not even exist anymore. 

 

So when the Conference was announced on a bright morning in August, Ty took it as his sign that things were about to change. He knew that his next decisions were going to lead to his destruction or his redemption. Which is why he spent days thinking over it, planning and re-planning, trying to construct different scenarios and outcomes. 

 

Would Kit even want him to be there? If Ty doesn’t show up, will Kit think he never wants to see him again? Is this Kit’s way of saying that he wants to see Ty? What if this is his last chance of ever seeing Kit? What if they see each other again and it isn’t like what it used to be? Is Kit still mad at him? 

 

Does Kit still love him? 

 

Thoughts ran over his head in a constant state of anxiety and worries that his friend, Anush began to worry over him. “Why are you so stressed out, anyway?” Anush asked him one day after a furious bout of pacing on Ty’s end. “Aren’t you two, like, best buds or something?”

 

“Or something,” Ty mumbled, continuing to wear out the carpet with his footsteps. 

 

He heard Anush sigh. “Can you please sit down? You’re making me dizzy.” Ty stopped his pacing and slowly sat down on one of the desk chairs. Anush nodded and continued, “And what do you mean by ‘or something’?”

 

“I mean, I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t know?”

 

Ty nodded. “I don’t know.”

 

Anush scrunched his eyebrows. “But you know everything.”

 

Ty cracked a smile at the boy’s proclamation. “Not everything, I suppose.” It wasn’t like him to be so vague but there was something about the topic of Kit that made him want to crawl out of his skin and his heart beat faster than it should have. Anush must have seen a sliver of this emotion on his face as he dropped the subject. 

 

Unfortunately for him the subject still had some semblance of a relation to Kit. “So, have you decided if you’re going to the conference?”

 

“It would be a great learning experience, to get to hear about the experiences and training styles of the most famed Shadowhunters. You know I wouldn’t miss it.”

 

“That settles it, then. We’re going.”

 

It should have been that easy. Ty wanted to go, so he should go. “But what if I realize I don’t want to go?”

 

“Then we skip it.”

 

Ty was always shocked whenever anyone outside of his family — save for Kit— gave him an act of kindness. He was so shaken by Anush’s kindness and friendship that he once feared that he would leave the same way Kit did. But he proved time and time again that he was a loyal friend. 

 

He wasn’t quite the Watson to his Sherlock Holmes. Nothing could ever fill that role for him anymore, and he supposes he has Kit to blame for that. 

 

“We could get in trouble for that.”

 

“Do you care about getting in trouble for that, Mr. Best Scholomance Student?”

 

Ty wrinkled his nose and Anush laughed. “No.”

 

Anush nodded with approval and grinned. “Besides, rumor has it that they’re letting the Academy sit in on this conference too. With that many people, I doubt they’ll even miss us.”

 

He perked up at the piece of information. “The Academy is going to be here?”

 

“Yeah. I heard Crystal Featherheart talking about it to a bunch of her friends yesterday. Apparently that’s what her dad told her,” he said. “Hey, isn’t your sister at the Academy? Drusilla?”

 

Ty nodded, a smile forming at his face. Even though Livvy still appeared to him on a regular basis, she still encouraged Ty to get out there and form bonds with other people. He was reluctant at first, given what happened with Kit, so he decided to take baby steps and approach Dru first. Turns out, with Dru’s love for horror and Ty’s love for mystery, they made a pretty great team. 

 

“That’s great!” Anush exclaimed. “If she’s there, and I’m there, then you have us to lean on with whatever you’ve been pacing about all week.”

 

And Livvy , his mind cimed in. He knew Livvy would be there with him, especially since Kit seems to be the only other person who can see her. With these people by his side, maybe he could do this after all; face Kit and finally get some well needed closure. Find out exactly what happened three years ago that led to them falling apart. 

 

“Okay,” Ty agreed, determination crossing his features in a fierce wave. “We’ll go.”

 

It was settled. Kit Herondale was Ty’s mystery to solve. 

 

***

 

Kit tore his eyes away from the double doors of the auditorium as a pair of fingers came near enough to his face to make him cross eyed. Jace snapped his fingers in quick succession as Kit looked at his cousin with annoyance. “Get your filthy hands away from me, Jace,” Kit said, shoving the older man’s hands with a force worthy of his title as Shadowhunter. 

 

Jace snorted with amusement from beside him. “Well sorry for being the concerned family member, I guess,” Jace mumbled. “It’s just that when someone beside you has gone catatonic, the best response would be to  see if they’re still alive.”

 

Kit sighed and leaned against the wall behind him. He noticed Jace was doing the same and quickly straightened up instead. Best not to invite any more comparisons to his legendary relative and their heroic lineage. “Why would I not be alive? Don’t I look as vibrant as ever?”

 

“That’s up for debate.” Kit slapped him on the shoulder, all Jace did was grin. “Besides, you’ve been looking at those doors for, like, thirty minutes now.”

 

“I haven’t.”

 

“You have.”

 

“I haven’t.”

 

“You totally have.”

 

“I really haven’t.” Kit knew that Jace was just riling him up but it was still a welcome distraction from thinking about a past colliding with his future in a matter of a few short minutes. He didn’t know if his cousin was doing it on purpose or if he really was just this annoying. Knowing Jace, it was most likely a mixture of both

 

Jace looked in on him with a curious expression on his face and Kit fought hard not to change the subject abruptly. “Is this because you’re nervous for the conference?”

 

“Yes,” Kit replied shortly. From his early childhood, he was always taught that the best lies were derived from truths. And in a way, he truly was nervous for the conference. His stomach fluttered with nerves at the thought of presenting his Shadowhunter skills to a bunch of Scholomance and Academy students who have been training longer than he has. But something else lay beneath the simple guise of stage fright. 

 

And that reason had just walked through the auditorium doors, looking even more beautiful than anything Kit’s dreams could ever conjure up. 

 

He had a subtle air about him that radiated confidence and assurance, he strode across the room with his head high up and his face revealing nothing. The inches of height he’d gained over the years certainly helped with that image as well. Every bit of him was a warrior yet Kit knew that the same hands that were wrapped around the cord of his headphones were the same hands that gently took hold of butterflies. 

 

Ty looked like a Greek god walking among the common men and Kit didn’t know why none of them were grovelling at his feet. 

 

The ground seemed to be swept up from under him and the air in his lungs suddenly vanished. This is real. All of this is happening right now. Sherlock and Watson in the same room again after three years of radio silence. 

 

He heard a low whistle from beside him and turned his head sharply. “What?” he asked Jace defensively.

 

“So that’s who all this angst was about.”

 

Kit rolled his eyes, trying to conceal the loud beating of his heart that was giving him away. He knew he didn’t have a chance; he was certain that if he looked into a mirror right this second, he’d recognize the sheer longing on his face. “You’re way off base.”

 

“No I’m not. It makes sense,” he said as if it was such a simple fact of life. “I mean, that must have been why you left L.A., right?”

 

He’d told Jem and Tessa everything about what went down between him and Ty — save for the necromancy— in the Los Angeles institute about a year into his stay. It was hard to hide it from them seeing as they saw right through his “Lovesick Herondale act”. He spilled his guts, and maybe even a few tears, and a weight was lifted off his shoulders knowing that he doesn’t have to hide part of his heart anymore. Maybe it would be alright to bear some of that weight on Jace’s shoulders as well. 

 

“So maybe you’re right,” he mumbled and Jace gave a victorious grin. “But didn’t you make a promise to Clary not to dig into the details of why I left?”

 

His cousin’s grin slackened just a fraction before recovering. “I did make such a promise. But,” he wagged his finger once again in front of Kit's face. “I did not partake in any digging whatsoever. The truth just came to me.”

 

“Bullshit. There was totally some digging involved,” Kit said. “I’m telling Clary.”

 

“No you’re not.”

 

He wanted to laugh and run backstage to tell Clary that Jace was being insufferable, like he usually did back in the New York Institute. He wanted to just let loose and enjoy this relationship with Jace he has now. He wanted to be back home with Jem, Tessa, and Mina. He wanted the safety of being on level ground instead of free falling in the air with nothing to catch him. 

 

Even  in Kit’s harshest realities, he keeps on falling. 

 

***

When Ty first walked through the doors of the auditorium, he noticed three things: the empty seat beside Anush, the overly warm overhead lights, and a head of golden blonde hair standing idly by the side of the stage. 

 

His face was slightly turned away from him in an angle that made it impossible to see him clearly but he knew every single line and curve that made the man a few feet away from. It seemed like the exact same shape that left an imprint in his heart long before either of them even knew it. It was the same tousled blonde hair, angular features, and lazy stance that plagued him for years. 

 

It was Kit. His Kit. 

 

No, not his Kit , he tried to remind himself. For the man by the stage was nothing but a glimmer of hope, a projection for a lost boy that Ty wishes to return to. 

 

He was not above saying that his heart hastened its pace while his hands fluttered by his sides, because who could blame him? He has obsessed over what happened three years ago, turning it over and over in his head until the memory burnt beneath his eyelids. He became so consumed with guilt and longing for the longest time that being near Kit felt like being set on fire. 

 

In another reality, he supposes he would be able to just walk right up to Kit and strike up a conversation. By the Angel, that’s all Ty wanted to do right now. But he knew that there were invisible walls between him and Kit that he could no longer breach. 

 

“Ty, I’m really sorry to say this but Kit got hot,” he heard Livvy say from beside him and almost jumped in surprise. She was staring at Kit as if she was doing a mental check of changes that Ty can’t bear to keep track of. “He’s every bit of a Herondale as everyone says.”

 

He didn’t want to agree with her statement so he just remained silent and trudged up to the seat beside Anush. There was no point in denying the obvious anyway. But even as he was walking, Livvy kept on rambling. 

 

“I mean, he looks really good. I’m sorry if that’s a betrayal on your part, Ty. I’m 100% on your side in this whole thing,” she said, and Ty sighed. 

 

“There are no sides, Livvy. We just fell out of touch.” He fought to keep his voice low and his lips from moving too much. He didn’t want to be branded as insane in the middle of an important conference. Besides, there was no legal way to explain why his sister’s ghost is talking to him about his ex-best friend. 

 

It was Livvy’s turn to sigh. “I know. I just wish you two were still … friends.” Ty didn’t have time to ask what his twin’s pause was all about as he reached the front row and sat beside Anush. “Maybe I should go talk to him.” He heard her mumble and he tried not to show the alarm on his face as Livvy left for the direction of Kit. 

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Anush asked. 

 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” He doubted that his friend believed his transparent lie but he was glad that he was going along with it. “Where’s Dru?”

 

“They split up the Academy students from the Scholomance students. But don’t worry, she’s only a few rows down.”

 

Ty craned his neck around looking for his younger sister and brightened when he spotted her talking animatedly to a bunch of her classmates. She spotted him looking in her direction and waved, her hand high in the air. 

 

It was glad to see Dru gain so much confidence over the years. As he got to know her, she began to open up about how much she struggled with being herself around other people and all the anxieties of being a teenager. He confessed that he didn;t know much about boosting self esteem but he knew that she just had to find the right people that won’t dim her light. 

 

Before Ty got the chance to swivel back around in his seat Dru pointed at something over on the far left of the auditorium. He didn’t need to look to know that she was referring to Kit. But he had no idea what exactly Dru was trying to tell him so he made a look of confusion. 

 

Her answer of repeated punching motions and points at Kit were answer enough as he shook his head fervently. “No,” he mouthed at her, sternly.  She pouted in response and gave a weak thumbs up, prompting him to turn back around in his seat and shove his headphones over his ears. 

 

***

 

Livvy was walking towards him with a dangerous glint in her eye that made him want to shrink back and hide behind Jace. It’s been a while since he’s last seen Livvy but he recognized the protective look in her eye enough to know that she was coming to talk to him about Ty. 

 

“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jace asked. He wanted to laugh at his accurate statement but he knew that would blow his cover so he just shook his head. 

 

“I’m just nervous, that’s all.” Livvy was getting closer and gesturing at the exit that led to one of the gardens he saw earlier. Before Jace could answer him with some faux sage advice he smiled and said, “I’m just gonna get some fresh air alright. Don’t look too sad without me.” 

 

He jogged lightly to the exit, Livvy at his heels, and swung the door open with an unnecessary force. 

 

He breathed in the fresh air and sagged in relief. Now that he knew he was out of Ty’s vicinity, he felt as if a part of him had been ripped out again but he was glad for it. He couldn’t stand Ty’s gaze on him for any longer. 

 

“Christopher.” He heard Livvy say. He refrained from rolling his eyes, knowing that it would gain him an earful. 

 

“Livia,” he responded. The girl had no qualms with rolling her eyes. “So, how is everything?”

 

“Don’t ‘how is everything’ me, Herondale,” She said. “I’m dead. What do you think I’m doing in my spare time?”

 

He flinched at the mention of her death but didn’t stumble as he replied. He knew the least he could do is not walk on eggshells around her. “I don’t know. I’ve never been a ghost”

 

“That makes one of us,” she mumbled. Livvy really didn’t seem to pull back her punches with the dead girl jokes did she? “Besides, we need to talk.”

 

“Did you miss my company?” he teased. 

 

She snorted. “As if.” She softened suddenly, a faraway look in her eye. “But someone else does.”

 

He didn’t like the implications of what Livvy said. He didn’t like the burst of hope blooming in his chest. “Uh huh. Yeah right.” He was losing his nerve, the air suddenly seemed stifling once again as he sat down on a nearby stone bench, trying to slow down his heart rate. 

 

“Don’t spend the whole conference avoiding Ty,” she said, voice more commanding than he remembered it to be. “You owe him an explanation for leaving. You can’t just walk away from him like that without saying anything! That was totally a dick move!” Her eyes were bright with a spark of annoyance and he fought down an ill timed smile at the thought of a fifteen year old Livvy that had him and Ty trailing along a path she forged. 

 

Well, he supposes she is still like fifteen year old Livvy in some ways. 

 

It hurt to see her stuck in the past as they all grew up around her. Seeing her again felt like he was the same angry and confused boy that he was three years ago. He knew that the three years must have changed him too but he couldn’t imagine the loneliness of having only one person to talk to, even if that person is your favorite person in the world. Livvy was such a lively soul and he felt a pang of guilt for depriving her of one more person to interact with. 

 

“Kit, Raziel, are you even listening to me right now?” Livvy’s shrill question brought him back down to earth in high alert as he nodded. 

 

“Yeah, I will.” Looking into her eyes, they both knew what he was saying was a lie. 

 

She sighed. “Please?”

 

He didn’t know how that one work broke his resolve but he felt something inside him change. Maybe it was his desire to reconnect with people from his past. Maybe it was to finally explain himself to Ty. Maybe it was to finally air his feelings out and close this chapter of the book that’s been weighing down his never ending fall. 

 

“Okay. I promise.” Her responding smile was as bright as he remembered it to be. 

 

“Good,” she clapped her hands together while Kit stood up and made for the door. “I expect all of this to be fixed by Wednesday!”

 

He doubted it would go the way Livvy planned but he humored her with a mock salute. “Sure thing, Livia.”

 

And as he opened the door and stepped back inside, he heard her giggle and call out, “Oh, and good luck dealing with Dru!”

 

He shuddered. Angel give him strength, it seems he’s got a lot of loose ends to tie up.

 

***

Ty was glad he decided not to skip the conference. It was certainly a fascinating experience. So far, Clary Fairchild had given a lesson on the importance of different runes and gave introductions to the newest ones she has created over the years. 

 

Her parabatai , Simon Lovelace, followed up with a presentation that seemed more geared towards the Academy students and Ascendant Hopefuls. Considering that he graduated there, it didn’t seem as much of a surprise to him. What did come as a surprise was the amount of times Simon mentioned the terrible food, the amount of rats, and subtle jabs at the Mortal Cup. 

 

After Simon came his wife, Isabelle Lightwood with an almost theatrical show of the importance of different weapons when it comes to combat. Everyone knew that Isabelle preferred to use her whip but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t skilled in every weapon she picked up. More than once during the duration of Isabelle’s presentation, the auditorium echoed with loud whoops and cheers from Simon who took a seat in the front row. Ty had to crack a smile. 

 

What came after them was a blur of past Centurions and Academy graduates speaking on a variety of topics that were certainly of importance for all of them. His hands were numb from the notes he had taken over the hours and he flexed his fingers as he waited for the next speaker. 

 

“This is fun, right?” Anush whispered from next to him. 

 

Ty nodded. “Who’s the next speaker?” He spotted Livvy sitting at an empty chair a few rows up. He wondered if it was a mistake, bringing Livvy here knowing that she would never get to apply any of the things she’s heard today. Not for the first time, his heart ached for the lives Livvy never got to live. 

 

He was still looking at his twin when Anush spoke. “We’re at the last one already.”

 

Ty furrowed his brows. It couldn’t have been that quick, had it? Time seemed to have flown by over his head without him even taking notice. And if they were at the last speaker, that only meant one thing, “The Herondales are next?”

 

The Herondales . It seemed odd to Ty to group the two of them together like that. He always heard people talking about the similarities the two shared, yet to Ty, they couldn’t seem more different. Seeing as they’re family, he could see why people drew the comparison but he didn’t quite understand the people that call Kit a ‘mini Jace’. It seemed unfair that they didn’t get to see Kit glow because they were too focused on somebody else’s shine. 

 

Anush didn’t have to answer the question as the lights dimmed for the final time as Kit and Jace walked to center stage. 

 

The auditorium fell into a hush as Jace gave a disarming smile. He heard a few giggles a few seats away and resisted the urge to laugh. He got why the Shadow World was so obsessed with Jace; with his talent for slaying demons and good looks that even Ty could admit to seeing, it was no wonder why they all clamored over him. 

 

But why look over at Jace when Kit was right behind him? He was a golden beam of light with a mouth quirked upwards in a slanted smile that said he knew what effect he had on these people and he had no qualms using it against them. 

 

He was as bright as the sun and Ty could do nothing but stare even as he ached to look away. 

 

“Good afternoon, Shadowhunters!” Jace boomed, energy palpable. Ty could have sworn he saw Kit roll his eyes as he plopped himself down on the desk where Isabelle’s weapons from earlier lay. “I’m sure I need no further introduction but you may be wondering, ‘who is this Jace knockoff with me today on the stage?’”

 

He heard huffs of soft laughter as he took his turn to roll his eyes. He sneaked a look at Kit and was startled to see that he was looking back at him, or rather at the Herondale necklace that rested above Ty’s chest. He resisted the urge to grab the pendant and shove it out of sight, but he held his ground and turned his attention back on stage. 

 

“Hey, everyone. I’m Kit.” He gave a wave and Ty could have sworn that someone in the room swooned. “And don’t listen to anything Jace says, he’s an ass.”

 

Raziel, at the rate that they’re going, they’re about to turn this conference into the Herondale Show. 

 

“Well, too bad because you all have to listen to a presentation that Kit and I prepared about the importance of training and how you can set a proper training schedule.” With a flourish of his hand, Jace gave another charming grin. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

 

Their presentation was interesting, to say the least. It may have been filled with a load of familial bickering from both ends but Ty wasn’t about to admit that that took away from the overall meaning of the lecture. 

 

Jace wove tales of the trial and error process of setting a proper training regimen and gave tips for figuring out the different styles, schedules, and intensity that one should take into consideration. And while Jace was firm and authoritative with his portion, Kit tackled it with an approachable air that made you feel like you were talking to a friend. He spoke of with a flurry of anecdotes about his three year journey of Shadowhunter training. He painted scenes of Jace waking him up at the crack of dawn for a sparring session, of jumping down high rafters over and over again until he was satisfied, and of the fatigue that came after the adrenaline high of training. 

 

Ty was so captivated that his pen hung limp in his grasp as his notebook lay forgotten in his lap. 

When their lecture finally ended and the lights were back up once more, Ty took a deep breath before standing up and facing Anush. “Do you want to grab dinner with me and Dru?” he asked. “The Academy leaves in an hour and I thought it would be nice to grab a bite.”

 

Anush smiled. “No, it’s alright. I don’t want to intrude on your sibling bonding time, I know you two need to catch up,” he said. “I’ll join you tomorrow, though.”

 

Ty nodded and started to head to the direction he saw Dru go to. He was glad that Anush was giving him time to talk to his sister alone. He didn’t realize it sooner, but he was looking forward to spending time with her one on one. He put his headphones over his ears and weaved through the crowd, his heart pounding with a sick discomfort at the sight of so many people at once. His hands fluttered by his sides and his breaths came in short puffs. 

 

He should have asked Anush to walk with him. He should have called Dru over to him instead. He should have stayed by his seat and waited for the crowd to tone down. His mind was racing as he brought one foot after another. 

 

“Hey! Jace and I will be answering questions about our presentation. Swing by if you need to talk about anything!” Ty heard the familiar voice through his headphones and felt the crowd slowly disperse to head to the direction Kit was walking towards. They were flocking around him like a moth to a flame and Ty gave a grateful nod as Kit looked in his direction. 

 

He noticed. 

 

His breathing slowly eased as he made his way through a clear path directly to Dru who was waiting with a worried glance. “Ty, I’m so sorry. I should have made my way to you instead,” she said as soon as he reached her. “Are you alright?”

 

He nodded, waving off her concern. “I’m fine now, Dru. Don’t worry.”

 

She exhaled in relief. “Thank Raziel that Kit —”

 

“I’ll take you to the cafeteria,” he cut her off, not wanting to hear the rest of the sentence. “You must be starving.”

 

Dru raised her eyebrows in question before regaining her composure. “Yeah, okay. Show me what you Scholomance folks got up here in the mountains. Can’t be worse than what they have at the Academy,” she snorted and looped her arm around Ty’s as they walked. 

 

“So I’m guessing Simon wasn’t exaggerating with his complaints.”

 

“He definitely wasn’t”

 

And as Ty led the way, he looked back once more to find Livvy floating behind Kit, whispering to him as the blonde struggled not to laugh in front of the students asking him questions. It looked like a tableau from the depths of Ty’s heart. 

 

***

“Ty likes to come up here a lot,” Livvy said after a beat of silence. The two of them were up on the roof with stars scattered high above their heads. He pulled his jacket closer to him and sat down, letting his legs dangle near the edge knowing that Livvy would follow suit. 

 

He could see why Ty loves it up here. From where they stood, he could see the infinite sky stretching far above him as the trees swayed with a light breeze. He could spot a few wayward animals in the forest below and struggled to find a name for each one. It seemed like something that was so heart-achingly Ty that made him screw his eyes shut and take a deep breath.

 

“What you did for him in the auditorium was nice, Kit.” He heard Livvy say from beside him. It was eerie, the way that she could silently creep up on him. “It shows that you care.”

 

“It was just basic human decency.”

 

“You were looking out for him.”

 

“It’s a dog-eat-dog world.”

 

“You put all the attention on you and Jace instead.”

 

“We Herondales love being clamored over.”

 

“By the Angel, you’ve gotten more annoying, Christopher,” she said. He thought he could detect a trace of fondness in her tone but he didn’t dwell on that too much. “I missed this.”

 

“I missed you.”

 

“You miss Ty.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Then how come you haven’t reached out in three years?” He saw it coming. As soon as she asked to talk to him, he knew that the conversation would steer toward his direction. There was no way that Livvy would ever let something as big as that slide past without notice. 

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

“It really isn’t.”

 

“Oh, really?” He raised an eyebrow at Livvy. “Okay, so help me out. What do I say to someone who I committed necromancy with, confessed my love for only to be met with rejection, and left alone in Los Angeles without saying goodbye?”

 

Livvy looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “A simple ‘hello’ would have covered it.”

 

He snorted. “No it wouldn’t”

 

“It would have,” she insisted more firmly. “What? Did you expect that one sentence from you is all it takes to forgive you for leaving?”

 

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said, his voice defeated and tired. 

 

“You don’t think making amends is a good idea?” she said with a slight laugh. He chuckled along with her and shook his head. “Things would take time, Kit. You need this to heal.”

 

He sighed and looked up at the stars winking in the distance, the same view that Ty saw every time he came up here. He could imagine Ty in great clarity, naming the constellations and their origins and recognizing every speck of beauty in the universe. “How’s he doing, by the way?” he asked, eyes still trained on the sky. 

 

“ How are you, Livia? I hope you’re doing well. What have you been up to these past few years? ” she mumbled under her breath mockingly. “Really, Kit. How classy.”

 

Kit had the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry.”

 

“You are so whipped,” Livvy groaned, heading for the door that led back down to the halls of the Scholomance. 

 

“Wait, Livs. I’m sorry. Come back,” he begged in panic. It was nice, being able to talk with Livvy and attempt to get his shit together. He would hate to have ruined the moment just because he didn’t have the balls to talk to Ty. “Please? I’ll even ask about your day-to-day routine.”

 

“God, Herondale. You’re so dramatic.” Kit stuck his tongue out at Livvy and she didn’t hesitate to do the same. “Now get your ass up, be a gentleman and walk me to my room.”

 

Despite himself, he moved away from the edge of the roof and walked toward Livvy. “I hate to break it to you, but we’re at the Scholomance,” he said, eyebrows betraying his confusion. “You don’t have a room here.”

 

She looked at him the way she used to when she was still alive; like she couldn’t believe that he was capable of such stupidity. “Kit, I meant Ty’s room” she said, like she was talking to a toddler that was slow on the uptake. 

 

He didn’t want to say that up until that moment, even with her blurry edges, he thought Livvy was alive. He plastered on a fake smile instead and wrinkled his nose. “Oh, duh.”

 

She shook her head at him and headed back inside, Kit in tow. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight, actually.” They rounded a corner and descended a set of stairs, every corner was eerily deserted. “You know, considering that you don’t want to come anywhere near my brother.”

 

“Which brother?” he joked absently and grimaced at Livvy’s withering look. “I’m kidding. It;s alright, Livvy. I’ll just drop you off by the door and you can just … pass through it?”

 

She sighed as they reached the landing of the stairwell. “Why did I even bother?” 

 

He didn’t know what else to say, he felt as if he'd disappointed someone again with his cowardice. So he settled for a mumbled “sorry” as they walked the padded corridors in contemplative silence. 

 

These were the same steps that Ty took everyday. His feet carry him with a steady confidence to wherever he wants to go. Seeing him here in the Scholomance today made Kit feel a burst of pride settle into his chest. Ty was here, making a difference in a way that he’s always dreamed of. 

 

Before Kit knew it, they stopped in front of what he supposes is Ty’s door. He locked eyes with Livvy to stop the sudden rush of anxiety thrumming through his veins. “Promise me you’ll try to talk to him,” she whispered, a sad smile forming on her lips. 

 

“Who knows? Maybe tomorrow will be the lucky day,” his voice sounded strained but he fought through it with a smile. 

 

“He really misses you, Kit,” she said, eyes looking into him as if she were willing him to understand. 

 

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak in fear of what might spill out. He turned to make his leave but before he could even utter a goodbye, the door swung wide open. 

 

Dru Blackthorn stood at a height just below Kit’s nose. He found it wasn’t hard to separate the girl he knew three years ago to the girl scowling at him now. Much like her brother, she stood with a calm assurance in her stance that wasn’t there before. Kit didn’t doubt that she had no qualms beating him to a pulp. 

 

“Christopher,” she said, eyes narrowed. Behind her, Ty spun around so quickly that Kit feared for his safety. Ty’s eyes were wide in shock and he was looking at Livvy with a betrayed expression, as if she delivered the enemy right on his doorstep.

 

He gave a small wave. “Hey, Dru.”

 

Her eyes only narrowed further. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

He tried not to look at either of the twins lest he reveal something he really isn’t supposed to. He quickly gulped and put on the Herondale facade. “I don’t know if you’ve heard but there’s this Shadowhunter conference in the Scholomance that—”

 

“Okay, smartass,” she said, rolling her eyes. She took one step near him and he tried not to step back. She seemed to notice Kit’s resistance and smirked. Behind her, Ty was fiddling nonstop with the cord of his headphones, hands wringing over and over. “Look, I don’t have time for this. I have to portal back to the Academy in the next five minutes.”

 

“Have a safe trip.” 

 

She gave him an unimpressed look. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Don’t think you’re off the hook.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

She gave him one last once over and turned around to look at Ty who merely nodded at her questioning gaze. Dru sighed and nodded. “Okay. I’m leaving.”

 

“Bye,” Kit said while Dru ignored him. 

 

“See you tomorrow,” Ty said to her. It was the first time Kit had heard Ty speak in three years. It was no longer the squeak of puberty that he once knew. He formed his words with careful precision and a rich timber, making Kit weak in the knees. 

 

He was down bad. He needed to leave this room before he did anything stupid. 

 

“Hi,” he breathed out. So much for not doing anything stupid.  

 

Before Ty could answer him, a flash of fur invaded his vision and knocked him off his feet. He hit the floor with an unceremonious grace that would make Jace want to disown him. He took out the Herondale dagger from his jacket and prepared to face down the enemy. 

 

***

“Irene!” Ty gasped in surprise. “Down, girl.”

 

“Jesus fuck!” Kit cried out. “It’s on me! The demon is on me!”

 

“Kit, that isn’t a demon,” Ty explained, walking over to extract Irene from Kit’s torso. “That’s Irene.”

 

“You named the damn thing?” Kit shrieked as Irene growled at him, teeth glinting dangerously. “Please get her off of me!”

 

Ty sighed. “You need to calm down first,” Kit blew out a breath and thumped his head on the floor. “Or else she’ll panic when I touch her. She gets scratchy when she panics”

 

Kit’s head whipped up in panic. “Scratchy?”

 

“You’re a Shadowhunter. Calm down.”

 

“That doesn’t mean that I want to get clawed by your demon cat.”

 

“Carpathian Lynx,” he corrected. “Keep squirming around and you’ll find yourself with a lot of scratch marks.”

 

Kit didn’t reply, he shut his eyes and focused on breathing evenly. It gave Ty the chance to study the boy in great detail. He was golden, he was bright, he was everything Kit resembled in Ty’s life. “Am I calm now?” Kit said after a few moments of silence, finally opening his eyes.

 

“You are,” Ty said. “But Irene still isn’t.”

 

Kit rolled his eyes. “Reminds me of Church.”

 

At the mention of the L.A Institute’s former cat, Ty smiled. “How is he, by the way.”

 

“Hates my guts.”

 

“No he doesn’t,” Ty said. “That’s just Church being Church. He was kinda nice to us.”

 

“That’s because there were so many of you at one place that he didn’t know what to do with himself,” he chuckled. Ty gave a soft huff of laughter too, proud to have caught on to the fact that Kit was joking. “How is everyone?” 

 

If possible, Ty’s smile widened at the thought of his family. “Everyone’s doing great. Jules and Emma went on their travel year a while back. They sent us postcards and everything. It was nice to see them enjoy something for once.”

 

“They dropped by Cirenworth a few times. They seem happy.”

 

Ty nodded. He remembered Jules telling him that they’ll be visiting the Carstairs in Devon. He briefly considered tagging along but thought better of it. “Emma was supposed to be at the conference but she declined the offer once she realized she’d have to teach people instead of just fighting them.”

 

Kit laughed, a light sound that filled the air. “I was wondering why she wasn’t in the lineup anymore.” He was smiling now even if Irene was still narrowing her eyes at him with suspicion. “What else?”

 

“Mark, Kieran, and Cristina split a lot of their time in between faerie and the Institute. They’re making big changes, it’s amazing how much they’ve achieved.”

 

Kit smiled, urging him to continue. 

 

“Helen and Aline adopted a baby girl last year. Her name’s Bea. Tavvy got jealous of the attention when the baby first arrived,” he chuckled at the memory of the subtle silent treatments Tavvy enacted. “But Bea became his favorite person in the family after a month of avoiding her.”

 

“She must be adorable,” Kit said. It was the fondness in his tone that made Ty remember that he was a big brother now. “I remember when Mina was still a little baby, she used to grab my finger with her tiny little hand.”

 

Ty’s heart gave a painful clench at the image. “Emma tells me Mina’s quite the talker.”

 

“She is. God, you should listen to her babble on and on again when you’re trying to get her to sleep.”

 

“Kind of reminds me of someone.” At that, Kit gave him a slow unguarded smile that made Ty’s insides warm with a feeling he couldn’t describe. 

 

“I hope she doesn’t take after me, I’m a train wreck.” Kit didn’t have to elaborate for Ty to know that he was alluding to the elephant in the room. Neither of them were prepared to breach that subject so Ty decided to keep it at that. 

 

“I can take Irene off you now,” Ty said, gently grabbing Irene by her middle and setting her down on his bed. “Sorry about that. She isn’t good around strangers.”

 

Kit stood up, pocketing the Herondale dagger and running his fingers through his hair. “It’s all good. It’s nice to know that there’s someone else looking out for you.” 

 

He didn’t quite know what to say to that so he stuck his hand out for a handshake instead. What the hell am I doing?  “I’ll see you tomorrow for the demonstration sessions, Kit.”

 

Kit raised his eyebrows at the extended hand and took it. His hand was hot where Kit’s touch landed. “See you tomorrow, Ty.” 

 

He looked over Ty’s shoulder to wave at Livvy who only smiled in return. He gave Irene a short glare and looked at Ty with an unreadable look in his eyes. Before Ty knew it, Kit disappeared past the doors without a trace. 

 

***

True to her word, Dru came to find Kit the next morning with two cups of coffee in her hand. He didn’t know how she found her way to his guest room at the Scholomance but he’s willing to wager that Jace opened his big mouth. 

 

She was standing on the other side of the door with her eyebrow raised, foot tapping in a steady rhythm. “Are you going to let me in or not?”

 

Kit sighed. “Come in,” he said, opening the door enough for her to step in. “Make yourself at home.”

 

She obliged, sitting comfortably on one of the desk chairs, setting one cup of coffee on the table and offering the other up to Kit. “Here, take it.”

 

“Thanks,” Kit took a sip and shuddered at the warmth of the drink. He cupped his hands on the sides of the cup and sat down on the edge of the bed, facing Dru. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

 

“We shall,” she said, before delivering a swift kick to Kit’s shin. 

 

“Ow!” he exclaimed, wincing in pain. Dru was certainly shaping up to be a great Shadowhunter up at the Academy with a kick like that. 

 

“How could you be so selfish?” she cried out. “You left L.A without a backward glance. Ty just lost his twin and you decide to up and leave him? You were the only person he clung to when he was grieving for Livvy.”

 

Kit grimaced and took another sip of the coffee. He thought it would be best if he let Dru air out her grievances before he started explaining himself. 

 

“And it’s not that I’m unhappy that you’re with Jem and Tessa now, because I am. You deserve a family like that, Kit.” The mention of his adoptive parents sent a sliver of warmth down his spine. It reminded him of Tessa’s request to call her daily. “But you just left and Ty was so lost without you.”

 

“I’m sorry.” He couldn’t help it. He needed to at least say something. “I’m sorry that I—”

 

“I’m not done,” she said firmly, stopping his sentence in its tracks. “Did you even care, Kit? Did you even think about what would happen to Ty if you left?”

 

“I wasn’t thinking. I was hurt and I just,” he trailed off, looking anywhere but at Dru. This whole confrontation has been harder than he expected it would be. But this was something that Dru has harbored for years, she deserved to be able to say it to his face. “I left because I was a coward. I couldn’t handle the thought of—”

 

“Of what?” her voice was considerably softer now, coaxing the truth out of him. 

 

He took a deep breath and looked Dru straight in the eye. “I couldn’t handle the thought of your brother not loving me back.”

 

She inhaled sharply, Kit didn’t look away. “I told him I love him, you know?” he laughed mirthlessly, a familiar pain inching its way into his heart. “And he doesn’t love me back. He won’t ever love me back, especially now that I left him.”

 

“You could have told me.” The coffee was growing steadily colder in Kit’s hands as he set it down on the floor. “I thought we were friends.”

 

Of course, Kit was aware that Ty wasn’t the only one he left behind in L.A. He remembered Dru as this thirteen year old girl, not old enough to go on missions and not young enough to be babysat. She stood on the precipice of middle ground where she shielded herself from anything that could cause her pain. Kit was one of the first people who recognized her for who she is and he’d be stupid if he didn’t know how big of a deal that was to Dru. 

 

“We were,” he insisted. “And if you’d give me permission, I’d still like to be your friend.”

 

“I have a lot of those now.”

 

“You deserve it.”

 

“None of them have fucked off to another continent yet.”

 

Kit winced. “Believe it or not, I’ll be sorry for that for the rest of my life.”

 

Dru groaned. “Why are you Herondales so dramatic?” Kit only gave her a grin. “I’ll tell you what; I’ll forgive you on one condition.”

 

Kit perked up. He may be known as Kit Herondale now but he grew up as Kit Rook, a boy that was taught the language of deals and debts. If there was anything he knew how to do, it was fulfilling his end of the bargain one way or another. “Hit me with it.”

 

Dru gave a wicked grin, an expression he catalogued as entirely hers out of the whole Blackthorn family. “Tell me everything that what went down with Ty.”

 

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re cruel.”

 

“I’m creative.”

 

He thought he’d be quick to shut down the idea of reliving that fateful night three years ago. Opening his heart and letting it bleed out in front of someone didn’t feel like a fun activity to him. But there was something about being able to finally explain what happened three years ago from his perspective that felt a bit close to the closure he needed. 

 

“I really would, Dru,” he said. “But there are things from that night that I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.” As much as he wanted to bear his soul, he couldn’t forget that a big part of what happened relied on the raising of Dru’s own sister from the dead. 

 

Dru sighed and stood up. “I know about Livvy.”

 

His heart stopped in its tracks as he stared at Dru. He tried not to reveal too much in his expression. Maybe she was talking about something else entirely. “What about her?”

 

She rolled her eyes and sat next to Kit on the bed. “That you and Ty tried to raise her.”

 

He sighed, giving up his innocent act. “So he told you, huh?”

 

Dru winced and Kit’s alarm spiked. “Not exactly.”

 

“What do you mean by that, Drusilla?”

 

“I may have overheard Magnus and Ty talking about the whole necromancy thing when you left,” she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world that her brother and his best friend decided to raise the dead. “I didn’t mean to.”

 

Kit felt a headache coming on. “So, Ty doesn’t know that you know?”

 

“He doesn’t.”

 

“Well I guess this makes everything even more complicated,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Are you going to tell me how you feel about it?”

 

She scrunched her nose. “Talk about how you and Ty broke about a bajillion laws? No thank you,” she said. Kit understood that she might not even be ready to talk about the death of Livvy and how it impacted the family. Maybe one day, they could breach the topic when they’re somewhat healed. “Besided, I’m here so you can dish about you and Ty.”

 

He snorted, standing up from the bed. “There is no ‘ me and Ty ’.”

 

“But you would want there to be.”

 

“Of course I do.” Dru giggled at him and he shared her smile. He grabbed his jacket from the closet and whipped around to face her. “Now come on, I’ll tell you all about it on the way to the training rooms. We’re gonna be late for the demonstrations.”

 

***

Kit addressed the crowd with a cool and languid air. He remembered a time when Kit thought that he wasn’t a Shadowhunter, much less a Herondale, but looking at him now, he seemed at peace with himself. 

 

He spoke of the training he went through as a fifteen year old beginner, how hard it was for him to adjust to being a skinny gamer kid to a Shadowhunter. He went through the basics and the foundations of the techniques that he used to improve.  

 

The words tumbled out of his mouth, dancing around the crowd and lingering in the air. He looked at his peers to see that he wasn’t the only one captivated by the blonde. 

 

“He’s pretty good isn’t he?” Anush whispered beside him. 

 

Ty nodded, not allowing his cotton mouth to speak for him at a time like this. 

 

In the middle of the circle that the students have created, Kit smiled. “Alright!” he said, jolting numerous people into focus. “Now that that’s done, I’m sure a lot of you want to get into action. We’re going to do a quick sparring session. Does anyone want—”

 

Before Kit could even finish his sentence, two hands shot up in the air. Drusilla’s and his. He hadn’t even noticed that he had moved his arm but there it was, high above him like a beacon. 

 

“To volunteer,” he continued his sentence under his breath. “Okay it looks like we have two volunteers here today but we only have time for one.” He eyed Ty and Dru with a small smile on his face, as if deciding who to take on. 

 

“Actually,” a voice piped in from the edge of their makeshift circle. “Jace finished his demonstration quite early so you have time to take on two volunteers, Kit.”

 

Ty saw that it was Simon speaking, looking at Kit with mirth in his eyes. “Of course he finished his session early,” Kit said. “I guess I’m sparring both of you, then.”

 

From across Ty, Dru cheered, pumping her fists and Kit gave her a fond smile. They must have patched things up between them earlier. He felt his heart twist at the thought that Kit was avoiding talking to him about why he left. 

 

“I’ll fight Dru first and then after that, if all the parts of my body are still intact, I’ll fight Ty.”

 

Ty’s hands went into a flurry of motion, tangling and untangling on the cords of his headphones. He was thrumming with the energy that only a Shadowhunter before battle had. It didn’t help his case that the person he was going up against was Kit. 

 

Kit with his angular face, developed biceps, and deadly smile. Ty needed to get his head in the right place or he’ll end up losing before he even gets the chance to step on the training mat. 

 

The students scattered all around the training room to watch as Dru took her place in front of Kit. Ty remained in his place and stared at the spot where the two of them were whispering to each other, smiles on their faces. 

 

“This is so unfair,” Anush said from beside him. Ty furrowed his brows and looked at his friend. “You and Dru used to train with Kit in L.A, right?”

 

“I guess so,” Ty said, slowly. “But that was three years ago when he couldn’t even fathom the thought of jumping down the rafters.”

 

Anush laughed beside him, Ty was too enraptured with Kit taking the fighting stance to laugh with him. 

 

With a quick flourish, Kit and Dru began. 

 

Dru has had years of training ahead of Kit and a few years in the Academy under her belt. It should have been an easy fight but Kit was unrelenting, blocking each blow and returning it with his own harsh ones. 

 

He was lightning quick, a blur of golden light on the training mat. Ty has only ever seen that type of grace with Emma and Jace. Considering Kit’s family name, it shouldn’t have been so hard to reconcile with the fact that he was a skilled fighter. But all he could think about was the fifteen year old boy that had no idea what he was even capable of. 

 

The crowd was leaning on the edge of their seats, enraptured with the display in front of them. It was a hypnotizing routine of punches and kicks that none of them could even bear to look away from. 

 

Sweat was forming on Dru’s brow but she wore a determined expression on her face. She delivered a punch to Kit’s stomach, making him groan and double over. She didn’t have time to move before Kit rammed his shoulder into her legs, making her lose balance and topple backwards into the mat with Kit pinning her down. Dru scrambled with Kit’s torso but he remained an immovable force. With a sigh, she dropped her hands to the mat and whispered a low “You win.” 

 

With a whoop of triumph Kit swung off Dru, clasping his hand in hers to help her up. The training room went into scattered applause as Kit gave a tiny bow. Ty shook his head but was shocked to realize that his face stretched into a smile without his notice. 

 

“Nice to know that you support me, dear brother,” Dru grumbled as she made her way to him. Anush gave her a sympathetic smile and patted the ground beside him. Dru obliged and looked at Ty with a small smile of her own. “Can’t believe I just lost to Kit Herondale of all people.”

 

“He’s a great fighter,” Ty replied simply. 

 

“You’re gonna have to do a number on him to restore the Blackthorn name.”

 

Ty looked at her, unamused. “This isn’t about revenge. It’s a learning experience.”

 

Dru giggled. “Sure it is.”

 

He didn’t have time to ask his sister what that was all about when Kit was suddenly back on the training mat, wiping the sweat off his face with the bottom of his tank top. Ty flushed and looked away, noting the way Dru was failing to hold in a laugh. 

 

“I think it’s my turn now,” said Ty, leaping to his feet and heading to face Kit. He left Dru’s unrestrained guffaws and Anush’s bewildered expression behind him, walking with what he hoped was confidence. 

 

“Go, Ty-Ty!” he heard Livvy cheer from one of the rafters above. Not wanting to draw attention to her, he only hid a smile. “Hit him on his left shoulder, that’s his weakness!”

 

“Did she forget that I can hear her?” Kit said to Ty, amused. 

 

Livvy, as if realizing the same thing, gasped. “Oops! Sorry about that.”

 

This time, Ty did smile at his twins’ shenanigans. 

 

Kit only rolled his eyes. “My left arm isn’t my weakness by the way.”

 

Ty raised his eyebrow. “If you say so.”

 

It was easy to talk to Kit like this; as if they were only two boys about to spar and not people who shared an interconnected web of heartbreak. 

 

Before he knew it, Kit was dropping down and sweeping his legs underneath Ty. He was quick to jump but not quick enough to dodge the succeeding kick aimed at his chest. He stumbled back, grasping for breath and ran at Kit, twisting his arm as he did so. 

 

And so the vicious dance began, their motions fluid and built over years of training. Where Kit was quick and light, Ty was deliberate and forceful. This is what you could have had if you didn’t make him leave you. A harsh voice in his mind whispered. It was enough to make him stop in his tracks and stumble as Kit advanced on him. 

 

He recalibrated his plan for attack and started hitting with a hostility that wasn’t there before. Each blow screamed with pain and fury aimed at himself and at Kit. Why did you leave me? Did you ever really love me? Is this what I get for being too selfish? 

 

I love you.

 

I love you.

 

I love you.

 

And you haven’t even known it.

 

If Kit noticed Ty’s newfound animosity in his plan of attack, he didn’t show it. He kept an infuriating blank face as he blocked every hit that Ty swung. It was as if he didn’t even care that Ty’s heart was practically breaking inside his chest. 

 

“Ty,” Livvy warned, she was closer to them now, a grounding presence. “Calm down, please.”

 

He wanted to heed to Livvy’s warning. Wanted to tamp down the raging fire in his chest, but he couldn’t. He was so blinded by anger that he didn’t even notice that Kit was flinging himself at him, nimble and determined. 

 

In a flash, he was on the ground, Kit’s knees bracketing his hips with his forearm pressing down lightly on Ty’s throat. At that, he saw something in Kit’s stance break, the familiarity of the situation. A knife in a dark basement, long ago when things weren’t as complicated. 

 

Even with the unfamiliar taste of defeat, all Ty could do was look up at Kit and think, You’re the one my heart longs for, Christopher. 

 

His golden blonde hair haloed around him and before Ty could stop and think, he whispered, “You weren’t supposed to leave me.” His voice was ragged, from the fight or from the sight of Kit burning like the sun, he hadn’t a clue. 

 

At his words, Kit’s eyes widened, different emotions passing through his face. Ty couldn’t register all of them but the expression of pure agony was one that stood out the most. Kit scrambled off Ty and cleared his throat before standing. “Good match, Tiberius.”

 

Ty took it as a dismissal, walking away from Kit and the sight of his haunted expression. He sat down in between Dru and Anush, as bewildered with the whole situation as they were. 

 

***

Kit trudged through the day with barely concealed anxiety. Ty’s words were a mantra in his head as he mechanically went through the instructions Clary gave him. After the sparring demonstration, let the students pair up for a hand to hand combat session of their own. Once they’ve used up that time, proceed with a weapons demonstration and then let them pair up again right after. At five o’clock, you should be done with everything, so you should administer a cool down with Isabelle and Jace. 

 

He went through the motions, hiding his pain behind a mask of charm and arrogance, waiting for a moment to just collapse and let everything wash over him. 

 

He spoke to students and ate his dinner, did everything like everyone expected him to when all he wanted to do was just run. He saw Ty at the dining hall, sat with Dru, Livvy, and his Scholomance friend — who Kit came to know as Anush—, like they were guarding him from some evil force. 

 

Like they were guarding them from Kit. 

 

In reality, they were doing nothing harmless. They were eating their dinner and pausing to make conversation. But Kit couldn’t help the twisted paths his mind went through at times like these. 

 

“Kit, are you good?” he heard Simon ask from across him. All the playfulness had left Simon’s eyes and in its place was pure concern. 

 

God, Kit wanted to puke.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” he tried smiling but it slipped out of his grasp at every attempt. “It’s nothing, I’m just tired.”

 

Jace snorted. “No you’re not,” he said. Clary was looking at him with sharp eyes as if signalling him to stop. But he didn’t. “We train harder than that when you visit the New York Institute.”

 

“Just let it go, Jace.” Kit dug into his meatloaf with a bit more force than necessary. “I’m fine.”

 

Being well acquainted with Herondale angst, Clary raised her eyebrows. “We’ll be here if you need us, Kit.”

 

He did nothing but nod at her before looking back down at his sad plate of food. It was nothing but disgusting mush at that point and the sight of it almost made him want to burst into tears. He wanted to get out of this godforsaken nightmare, he felt like he was choking with every breath he took. 

 

Distantly, he registered Isabelle sighing before standing abruptly. “Let’s go,” she said, her voice an odd mix between a command and an offer. Her words sang in Kit’s ears and he nodded furiously. 

 

“Where are we going?” asked Clary, a confused furrow appearing between her brows. 

 

She dumped the contents of her tray in the bin and walked past them with a haughty expression. “All of you,” she levelled the four of them with a look. “Meet me in my room as soon as you’re done. I’ve got something packed that I’m sure will help the little Herondale here.”

 

Her boots clacked on the marble floor as she walked away from them, dark ponytail swinging in the wind. Confused as ever, Clary, Jace, and Kit looked at Simon with a questioning expression. 

 

Simon sighed. “Booze,” he said simply. “Izzy packed some vodka.”

 

Jace whooped, Clary’s expression tightened, and Simon just looked amused. 

 

“This is gonna end badly,” Clary lamented. Kit thought she was right but that didn’t stop the longing in his heart for some escape. “If any of you have forgotten, we’re in the middle of a Clave sanctioned event. Getting caught drunk won’t look good for any of us.”

 

“Then we just won’t get caught,” Jace said. “Besides, Alec is going to be here tomorrow morning to discuss the latest events in the Shadow World. We don’t have to make an appearance until the Dinner Banquet.” 

 

Clary narrowed her eyes at Jace. “Why do you want to get drunk so bad?”

 

Jace put his hands up in surrender. “You heard Izzy! It’s for the little Herondale.”

 

“Stop calling me that,” Kit chimed. “And don’t act like it’s all for my sake either. You just want to get drunk because you’re bored out of your mind here.”

 

“So what if I am,” said Jace. Clary hit his arm at that. “There’s nothing to do up here except talk to students who just want to suck up to you.”

 

“How humble,” Simon mused. “Look, let’s just ask Kit if he wants to do this. If he does, then we’re doing it.”

 

“And if he doesn’t, I’ll be severely disappointed in him,” Jace mumbled. Everyone shot him a glare and he pouted. “I’m just kidding.”

 

They looked at Kit with varying expressions and he looked back at them, at his mutilated meatloaf, and across the hall at Ty. He had made up his decision as soon as his heart twisted painfully inside his chest. 

 

Standing up like Izzy did, he looked at them with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Let’s go,” he said. 

 

With different levels of excitement, they began to follow Simon’s lead to his and Isabelle’s room. Clary and Simon stood shoulder to shoulder a few feet ahead, whispering in low tones and looking back at Kit from time to time. 

 

“They’re talking about me aren’t they?” he asked Jace who was striding through the hallway beside him. 

 

Jace didn’t even hesitate. “Obviously.”

 

“I’m gonna have to tell them about Ty, aren’t I?”

 

Jace sighed. “Look, you don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready. You could just get drunk with us and babble about your favorite ice cream flavor, for all I care.”

 

“Cookie dough,” Kit whispered under his breath, Jace ignored him as they turned the corner. 

 

“All I’m saying is that we’d like to be a part of your life, Kit. We want to know the good and the bad, all your heartaches and failures, every success and happiness.” Kit didn’t look away from Jace’s intent eyes even as his feet moved on autopilot on the carpeted floors. “And if getting drunk is the way to get to that point in our relationship, then so be it.”

 

Not knowing what to say, he just looked at Jace and hoped that his expression said enough. “I’m not that good at expressing my emotions but get me drunk enough and I just might be.”

 

Jace laughed as the pair of parabatai stopped in front of Izzy’s door. “Do the honors,” Simon said to Kit, stepping aside and allowing him to pass through first. 

 

“Nerd,” Kit said as he passed Simon, shouldering the door open and marching inside. They followed closely behind them and shut the door, leaving them in a room with Isabelle who was holding a shot out to Kit like an offering. 

 

She arched an eyebrow. “Take it, Christopher. You look like you need it.”

 

With a flash of grey eyes haunting his mind, he walked over to Isabelle and grabbed the shot with her hand, downing it with his eyes screwed shut. 

 

The vodka burned its way down Kit’s throat as he opened his eyes to see everyone grinning at him. Jace’s words rang in his ears as he inhaled sharply. “I’m in love with Tiberius Blackthorn.” It felt both freeing and damning to say a sentence weighted with such meaning. Even saying Ty’s name gave him a rush that he’d never felt before.

 

No one in the room moved. He was expecting some sort of dramatic reaction, but the knowing looks that the New York Institute residents shared made him think that they knew all along. 

 

“Wow, Kit. That’s—” Clary attempted to act surprised but Kit waved her off. 

 

“I should have known. I’ve been obvious this whole time,” he said, sitting down on the desk chair and preparing himself for the night ahead. “I mean I wasn’t all that slick yesterday, much less today at the training room.”

 

Still, no one moved. With a sharp jolt of realization, Kit’s eyes widened. 

 

“Listen, we didn’t want to say anything but—” Clary tried to explain once again but Kit just sighed. 

 

“You’ve known for a long time haven’t you?”

 

“Ever since the first time you visited New York,” Jace admitted, reaching for a shot and throwing his head back as he drank. “We just put two and two together when you refused to talk about the Blackthorns and when you got that look on your face when Simon mentioned Tiberius.”

 

Kit scrunched his face. “What look?” he asked, defensive. If he made a look at the mention of Ty, he deserved to know of it so he could be rid of it in no time. 

 

“The look that Jace used to have back when he and Clary still weren’t dating,” Izzy said, gulping down her own shot. 

 

At that, Clary’s face softened and she reached out to touch Kit’s arm. “We just didn’t want to tell you because we didn’t want to scare you off. You obviously still weren’t prepared to talk about it, so we waited.”

 

“You waited three years,” Kit said, dumbly. Behind Clary, Jace was reaching for another shot while Simon and Isabelle poured more liquor in the remaining glasses. 

 

Clary gave him a smile. “Of course we did.” 

 

Kit shook his head, a fond smile gracing his face. “So are any of you going to admit that you know the exact happening of the night that ruined my chances with Ty or am I finally saying something you haven’t heard yet?”

 

Simon perked up and liquid sloshed out of his shot glass and landed with a splat on his jeans. He didn’t seem to notice as he looked at Kit with a glint in his eye. “How drunk do you have to be to relive this story?”

 

He returned Simon’s grin, feeling a bit lighter than before. “Pass me that shot and we’ll see just how many it would take for me to make the big reveal.”

 

Turns out, it only took five shots for Kit to look them in the eye and tell the necromancy-free version of events. Clary, being the smallest, was the most drunk out of them all. So when Kit promptly burst into tears midway, Clary followed suit while the others shared a bewildered look.

 

“So I told him I loved him and he said that I didn’t matter,” Kit said, voice watery as he reached for one more shot. He could hear Clary blowing her nose into a napkin as Jace tried to console her while simultaneously keeping an ear out for Kit’s story. 

 

Izzy’s eyes, though a bit hazed and unfocused, flared in anger. “He said that?”

 

Kit shook his head furiously, making him dizzy. “He wasn’t trying to be mean, Izzy. He was just telling the truth.”

 

“Bullshit. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

 

At that Kit froze, shot glass halfway to his mouth as he stared at Isabelle in shock. “What do you mean?”

 

“What I mean is that he looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters.”

 

Kit sniffed, his pulse racing wildly. “No he doesn’t.”

 

“Yes he does.”

 

“No he doesn’t.”

 

“Yes he does.”

 

“By the Angel, you two are annoying,” Simon muttered and smiled guiltily as Isabelle shot him a glare. “All I’m saying is that I noticed it too.”

 

“You’re all just making this up,” Kit felt as if the room was spinning, and the alcohol certainly didn’t help his case. “There’s no way that he could ever love someone like me.”

 

Suddenly, everything stopped. “What?” Jace said, his voice slightly different than normal but still coherent. 

 

Kit sighed. “I didn’t mean that.”

 

“You mean you didn’t mean for it to slip out?”

 

“No. I mean that was just the alcohol talking.”

 

Jace shrugged, still clinging onto Clary. “Drunk words are sober truths.”

 

“I’m hardly drunk.”

 

Jace didn’t relent and just stared at Kit. “Christopher, you are worthy of love.” Kit wanted to look away but he found that he couldn’t. “You might not believe it, but you’re one damn good kid.”

 

Once again, he was struck speechless so he nodded, eyes stinging once again. What was with Jace and all these inspirational proclamations lately?

 

Jace sighed, relaxing back into his loose demeanor. “So what happened next?”

 

With more tears shed and vodka drank, he told them what happened next. How he fucked up and told Ty that Kit wished he’d never met him. How he was Ty’s only friend and he proceeded to toss that into the dirt like it meant nothing. 

 

How he left without saying goodbye and didn’t speak a word to him for three years. 

 

Simon claimed that his teary eyes and backed up nostrils were a side effect of Clary’s own drunken breakdown over Kit’s story but they all knew better. It made Kit laugh through his tears. 

 

They sat in silence, two bone dry bottles of vodka between them as they drank in the weight of Kit’s story. Isabelle, who was supporting Simon’s weight, was looking at Kit with an odd expression. 

 

“What?” he asked warily. He didn’t know how much he had to drink but it was certainly taking a toll on him in many ways. 

 

“Why didn’t you send him a letter or a text or a fire message or a—”

 

Simon cupped his hand over Isabelle’s mouth clumsily. “I think he gets it, Iz.”

 

Kit only sighed. “At first it was because I was still in so much pain. I couldn’t think of Ty without getting this feeling like I’m being hit by a train.” He shook his head, not wanting to go into that dark pit of time. “But then as time went on and I started to feel some of the weight ease off me, it just felt like it was too late, you know?”

 

When none of them answered, Kit explained further. “He was living his own life at that point. I heard he was finally going to the Scholomance. That’s been his dream since forever. I was happy for him,” said Kit. “It just felt like me being back in the picture so suddenly would just complicate things for him. Throw him off his routine and fuck up his life by entering it again.”

 

“Kit,” Clary said, empathy leaking out of her tone. “Oh, Kit.”

 

“He has his own thing now. And in a way, I kind of have my own thing too with the First Heir shit. Factor that into the equation and I’ll just be dragging him into more trouble.” 

 

“So you did this so he’d be safe?” Izzy asked. 

 

He shook his head. That wasn’t quite right. Ty could take care of himself better than Kit could. He was just making excuses for his cowardice and insecurities. “I hadn’t thought of it that way until much much later. I think it was just a way for me to justify why I haven’t spoken to him.”

 

“When you say you haven’t spoken in three years,” Simon said, words coming out slower than usual. “Did you mean that literally? Like, you haven’t had any words, written or otherwise, with Ty?”

 

“I sent him the Herondale necklace.” He remembered the way it looked, resting on Ty’s chest like it belonged there. 

 

“We know,” Jace said. “We saw.”

 

Kit narrowed his eyes. “I also sent him a first edition of Sherlock Holmes the first Christmas I was away. Bet you didn’t know that.”

 

Clary looked confused. “Why Sherlock Holmes?”

 

Kit’s cheeks flames, he knew better than to blame it on the vodka. “It was our thing.”

 

Izzy snorted, laying down on the carpet without a care. “How adorable.”

 

The heat in Kit’s cheeks didn’t relent. “Shut up, Izzy.”

 

“No, you shut up,” she said, as she slowly curled into Simon’s side, eyes closing. 

 

“No, you.”

 

“No, you.”

 

“Raziel, both of you shut up!” Clary snapped. “I’m trying to get some sleep here, if both of you don’t mind.”

 

“Mhmm. What time is it even?” Simon asked, sprawled out on the floor next to Izzy. 

 

“2AM,” Jace grunted. “It’s only two in the goddamn morning. I used to be up later and drunker than this.”

 

“That’s how life works, old man,” Kit laughed, Jace threw a pillow at him. 

 

“That’s it. Lights out. Everyone go the fuck to bed.”

 

“Good night,” Clary mumbled, already half asleep on top of Jace. 

 

Jace, unable to move as he was stuck between the wall and his girlfriend, just slumped further into his corner of the floor. “Good night,”

 

“Good night,” Simon and Izzy mumbled simultaneously. 

 

As Kit stood up to head to the unoccupied Queen sized bed, he looked at the people he calls his friends and smiled. “Good night,” he said, even though he knew he’d stay awake until the sun came. 

 

***

When the knock came in Ty’s bedroom window, he took his dagger from his bedside table and looked at the door cautiously. 

 

Livvy was in between worlds, unreachable to Ty and unable to assist him in finding out who was at the other side of the door. He supposes he had to rely on the old fashioned Shadowhunter way, then. 

 

He reached for his stele and drew a quick soundless and sure-strike rune on his left arm. He knew it was unlikely that the person behind the door was here to attack him but he couldn’t take any chances. 

 

He padded through the carpets with Irene alert and walking in step with him. When he reached the door, he took the time to feel for the shape of the Herondale pendant around his neck for luck before swinging the door open and aiming his knife at the stranger. 

 

“Hey, there,” said Kit. There was something off about him. Ty spotted the slight tilt to his stance, and the tight grip he had on the doorframe. He spotted no sign of blood or injury so he ruled that out as the cause for Kit’s aloofness. There was a splash of color on Kit’s cheeks and a looseness to his smile that Ty has never seen before. He caught a whiff of Kit’s scent and wrinkled his nose. 

 

“Have you been drinking?”

 

Kit put a finger to his own lips. “Shhhh.” His shushing was loud, disruptive and sure to get himself caught, so Ty grasped Kit’s wrist and pulled him into his room. “It’s supposed to be a secret.”

 

“Where did you even get the alcohol?”

 

Kit grinned, free and unrestrained as he leaned his head onto the wall. “I’ll never tell.”

 

Ty sighed, shaking his head. It would be no use talking to Kit when he was drunk. “Why are you even here?”

 

At that, Kit’s smile disappeared out of his face completely and something in Ty’s chest shattered. He wanted nothing more than to put it back onto Kit’s face. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice small. “God, what was I even thinking? Of course, you don’t want me here.”

 

If possible, the pieces of Ty’s heart pierced painfully into his chest, making the pain unbearable. “Kit, no—”

 

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I’ll leave. I won’t bother you ever again, Ty.” Irene purred by Ty’s side and nestled herself on Ty’s foot, sensing his distress. 

 

Kit wrenched himself out of his place in front of Ty and started for the door. The image of Kit leaving him again was too much for him to handle so he called out a quick, “Wait!” before he even knew what he was going to say. 

 

Kit faced him, eyes shiny with tears and one hand on the doorknob. He clearly was in no state to be by himself right now. And besides, Ty was selfish, he wanted to have Kit near him even if he knew that losing Kit again would destroy him completely. “What is it?” Kit asked, his voice so soft and filled with hope that Ty’s hands shook by his sides. 

 

“What if I want you to bother me?”

 

“What?”

 

Ty gulped, closing his eyes briefly and asking for courage. “You said you would never bother me again,” Ty said, eyes darting everywhere around the room but never settling on Kit. “But what if I wanted you to bother me?”

 

Kit shook his head furiously. “You can’t mean that.”

 

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Christopher.”

 

Kit looked like an inferno, blazing in the glory of the night and all Ty wanted to do was burn in his warmth. Even drunk and stumbling, he was still beautiful. “Tell me to stay,” he said.

 

It was Ty’s turn to be caught off guard. “What?”

 

“Please, Ty.” His voice was a wreck, his hands were shaking as well, mirroring Ty’s own. “I need to hear you say it.”

 

It was barely a whisper but Ty heard it. Anything Kit needed, Ty would give it to him, if only it would make him happy. The bone deep ache of wanting to give more was jarring and overwhelming. “Stay,” he said, voice firm. “Stay with me, Kit. I need you here.”

 

I need you .

 

They were the same words he uttered a long time ago, desperate for something to hold on to. It wasn’t the same now but his words still held the same weight. 

 

“You need me?” Tears were going down Kit’s cheeks now, like crystal droplets shining in the moonlight. 

 

Ty nodded, feeling his own throat close up with emotion. 

 

Kit smiled, not the arrogant one he wore out in public and not the devious one that was born in the Shadow Market. It was one that spoke of soft waves meeting the sand, of days spent in the Institute library, of inside jokes, and late night conversations. It was one that was purely Kit that Ty could do nothing but smile back. 

 

“So,” Kit said. “Where am I supposed to sleep if I’m staying here?”

 

Ty scrunched his nose. “On the bed?”

 

“Then where will you sleep?”

 

“It’s fine. Julian sent me twelve different comforters when I left,” said Ty, remembering his exasperation at the unnecessary amount of bedding his brother had given him. “I think I’ll be fine.”

 

Kit nodded. “I really want to argue but I’m just about ready to collapse on my feet,” Kit groaned. And true to his word, he tripped over Irene and landed on the floor with a loud thump. Ty winced and held his hand out to Kit who was struggling to get up. 

 

“I am never drinking again.” Ty guided Kit to the bed, his arm wrapped around Kit’s waist for balance. Purely for balance , he told himself. When Kit was able to flop down comfortably amongst the pillows, he mourned the loss of contact. “I’m gonna have such a hangover when I wake up.”

 

Ty went to his closet and pulled out a few comforters and spare pillows. “Do you want me to get you some water?”

 

Kit shook his head, wrapping Ty’s blankets around him snugly. “No thank you.” 

 

Ty left the conversation at that, thinking it best to leave Kit to rest. He built his makeshift bed in silence and with the tune of Kit’s breathing filling the air. 

 

He sighed as he laid down, feeling the bone deep relief of just having Kit close. He began to shut his eyes when Kit stirred restlessly. 

 

“Kit?” 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Are you still mad at me?” At that, Kit’s movement stilled and Ty’s heart paused in his chest. “Never mind. You’re probably tired—”

 

“I was never mad at you, Ty.”

 

“What?” Shock colored his tone. Everything he was led to believe in three years came crashing under him. “But you said—”

 

“I know,” said Kit. “And maybe in that moment I did mean what I said. But you have to understand that I was angry, and sad, and heartbroken.”

 

Ty sighed. “I mean, maybe I do get it. You weren’t the only one going through stuff back then.”

 

“But it wasn’t an excuse to lash out on you.”

 

“It wasn’t,” he agreed. “And it wasn’t an excuse for you to avoid me for three years either.”

 

Kit gave a chuckle devoid of humor. “God, I kept on fucking up.”

 

Ty felt Irene curling up next to him. He clung on to her, running his hands through her fur to calm him down. As much as this conversation was daunting, it was something that he needed to do. “But it wasn’t just your fault.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Ty couldn’t just lay there and make Kit think that everything was on his shoulders. He needed to take the blame for his own feelings getting in the way as well. “Communication is a two way street. I could have said something.”

 

“You sent that thank you note,” Kit said as if he were trying to convince Ty that he was free of fault when Ty knew he wasn’t. “I didn’t even respond.”

 

“Yeah, well you sent the Herondale necklace and that first edition Sherlock Holmes.”

 

“I knew you’d figure out that that book was from me,” Kit mumbled but Ty kept on speaking like he didn’t. 

 

“I don’t want you to say that you didn’t make an effort when you clearly did. You just did it in different ways and I didn’t recognize it for what it was.”

 

“Ty.”

 

“So I guess that makes us even.” Unexpectedly, Kit gave a loud laugh. “Why are you laughing?”

 

He was still catching his breath when he spoke, “We’re a pair of idiots.”

 

Ty wrinkled his nose but gave a light laugh nonetheless. “Perhaps we are.”

 

The early morning silence filled the air and Ty began to close his eyes. He supposed Kit had already fallen asleep and thought it would be best to follow suit. But right before he tipped over the edge of consciousness, Kit spoke. 

 

“Ty?” he asked, voice weighed down with grogginess and drunkenness. 

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I don’t want this to end.” Ty didn’t know how much of the alcohol was influencing Kit;s words right now, but he let him speak. “I can’t lose this again.”

 

Ty was glad that Kit couldn’t see him. It made this all the more easier on the both of them. “You won’t,” Ty reassured him. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the words that he was about to say. “I’ll always be your friend, Kit.”

 

Kit didn’t answer. He must have fallen asleep. Ty breathed out and turned to face the wall, knowing that what he said would haunt him in his dreams. He knew that friendship wasn’t what he wanted out of Kit. He knew that his heart longed for something more than that. But friendship was all Kit wanted out of him, and Ty would do anything to keep Kit in his life. 

 

He couldn’t lose him again. 

 

What was he supposed to do? Scare Kit off with a profession of a love harbored over the years just right after he’d gotten him back? There was no chance of that ever happening. 

 

No, it was better this way , Ty told himself. 

 

And before Ty drifted off to a dreamless sleep, he thought he heard Kit mumble a low, “Just your friend?”

 

***

Alec was looking at them with disappointment written across his features. “I can’t believe you,” he said, exasperated and tired as if it wasn’t the first time this had occurred. 

 

“I have a hard time believing that,” Jace piped in while Clary slapped him weakly, both of them — much like the rest — still nursing the remnants of their hangover that the iratze couldn’t cover. 

 

“If you ask me, it’s Kit’s fault,” Simon said, shoulders hunched. 

 

“I’m not the one that brought the booze!” Kit protested loudly and the others winced at the loud volume. 

 

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” Isabelle chimed. Even hungover she was still infuriatingly put together, it made Kit’s blood boil as he looked down at his own sweatpants and sweatshirt ensemble. 

 

“In not so many words: yes.”

 

“Listen here, you little shit,” she said. Alec rolled his eyes but maintained his stern facade. “We were drinking because you needed it.”

 

“Can someone explain what is happening?” Alec asked. 

 

Clary was the one that spoke up. “Kit was heartbroken over that Blackthorn boy so we made a night out of getting drunk and letting Kit talk about the whole story.”

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll fill you in on the details later. I know you’ve been wanting to hear about that for so long,” Jace whispered to Alec while Alec nodded. “You wouldn’t believe how much he fucked up. Kinda reminds me of me.”

 

Kit looked at Jace, offense written on his features. “You suck,” he said, eloquently. “And I’ll have you know that we patched things up last night. Er, well, technically it was early morning, but still.”

 

The whole table stilled to look at Kit. “What do you mean by that?” Simon asked. 

 

“It means that I went to his room, drunk and stumbling like an idiot and we talked stuff out,” he said simply as if he wasn’t about to burst with happiness at the thought that he was back on good terms with Ty. “We’re cool.”

 

“‘ We’re cool ’?” Isabelle shrieked, Kit winced along with everyone. “Last night, you could barely even breathe from talking about him and now you’re going to say that you’re cool ?”

 

“Wait, hold on a minute.” Alec held his arm out as if to ward off Isabelle from Kit’s vicinity. “What do you mean you went to his room?”

 

Kit blinked. “I mean, I went to his room?”

 

Alec sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Christopher, are you aware that for the three days that you’ll be staying in the Scholomance, you are registered as a mentor?” Alec asked, Kit shook his head. “Staying at a student's room would be completely inappropriate. If this ever gets out —”

“It won’t,” Kit replied firmly even though his cheeks were flaming at the implications of what Alec was saying. “Besides, we’re just friends.”

 

Isabelle gave a goran of frustration before dropping her head down on the table. “You have got to be kidding me.”

 

Kit ignored her. “Like I said, we talked it out and he asked me to be his friend again. End of story.”

 

Clary was looking at him with concern. “Are you sure that’s the right decision? Becoming friends with him again?”

 

Kit ignored the aching of his heart. “I lived three years without Ty by my side and those three years were torture. I don’t want to live through that again,” he explained, everyone looked at him with sad expressions. “I’d rather be his friend than nothing at all.”

 

Simon gave his shoulder a small pat. “If you ever need to cry and get drunk again, you know where to find us.”

 

“Simon, he’s underage,” Clary whispered, as if just realizing that fact right then. At Clary’s statement. Simon retracted his hand off of Kit’s shoulder. 

 

“Just don’t tell your parents,” he said hastily. 

 

Kit snorted. “Way ahead of you, Simon.”

 

Alec sighed. “Just promise me you’ll all be on your best behavior tonight at the banquet. It’s the last night of the conference, the least you could do is be sober for it”

 

They all gave a chorus of yeses but Alec still looked disgruntled. 

 

“You act like we’re all such a mess,” Simon said. “Kit’s the only mess here.” Kit slapped Simon hard on the shoulder and slumped in his seat. 

 

“You think you’re not a mess?” Alec challenged. “You are having breakfast at 2:00PM, in an empty Scholomance cafeteria, blaming each other for getting drunk while being totally hungover.”

 

“Nailed that one right on the head, Alec.” Izzy mumbled. 

 

“Now if you excuse me, I have to return to the auditorium before Magnus finishes his speech on Downworld events.” Without a backward glance, he stalked out of the auditorium leaving the five of them in silence. 

 

“Being Consul has changed him,” Jace said jokingly while the others laughed, Kit however was too preoccupied with the ghost behind them waving her hands at him and pointing to the double doors of the dining hall. 

 

“Uh,” Kit said, eyes still locked on Livvy. “I’ll be right back.”

 

At that, Clary gave him a kind smile and patted his hand on his way out. “You’ll be okay,” she said. He didn’t want to doubt Clary but at that moment, he did. 

 

He followed Livvy out of the room and raised his eyebrows at her as she whirled on him as soon as they were out of earshot. “Friends?” she said, voice shrill. “You have got to be kidding me!”

 

“Ah, so Ty told you, then,” Kit said, calmly. In reality, he just didn’t have the energy to upkeep this conversation. 

 

“He had no choice but to tell me because I saw you in his bed!”

 

Kit gave a short laugh. “I think I heard you, actually,” he said, still smiling. “I thought it was a rooster crowing.”

 

Livvy glared at him. “If I could hit you, Christopher, I would.”

 

“Oh, I’m so scared,” he said flatly and Livvy huffed. 

 

“You and Ty will be the death of me.”

 

“But Livvy, you’re already dead.”

 

“A second death, then!” she said indignantly. “We both know you want to be more than friends, Kit.”

 

Kit inhaled sharply. “Livvy, please.” 

 

“It’s just that—”

“It was a love confession that broke our friendship the first time. I just got him back, I’m not going to fuck up this second chance, okay?”

 

Livvy seemed to contemplate something before nodding. “Hold out hope, Kit.”

 

He didn’t see the point in seeing the light where there was none so he decided to let it go rather than drag down the conversation. “I’ll see you later Livvy. I have four more hours before the banquet and I think it’s best if I sleep off this hangover.”

 

Livvy looked at him with a considering stare. “Boys,” she grumbled before disappearing, leaving Kit alone in the hallway. 

 

“You got that right,” he mumbled. 

 

***

For some reason, Jace and Simon insisted that Ty sit at their table during the dinner banquet. It was slightly embarrassing, especially once he heard the speculations of why he was the only outsider allowed in. Kit, bless his heart, tried to make things better for Ty by inviting Anush and Dru — who in turn insisted that she bring along her date — which made the table cramped and awkward, forcing Magnus to create a scene by using his magic to lengthen the table. 

 

“So,” Kit started, without a trace of awkwardness in his tone. It seemed practiced and charming to Ty’s ears. “How is everyone enjoying the lobster?” 

 

With that, the pleasant conversation began. With a table as big as theirs, there was a never ending stream of chatter from all ends. It wasn’t like the everyday chaos of the Los Angeles Institute but it was enough for Ty’s fingers to start drumming an even beat on the armrest of his chair. 

 

“Where are your headphones?” Kit asked, brow furrowed. It wasn’t an accusation, just a mere thought spurred on by the fact that Ty was experiencing a bit of discomfort beside Kit. 

 

It was a simple observation to make. The red headphones that usually hung around Ty’s neck were nowhere to be found. He didn’t know what triggered the idea, but at the moment, it seemed foolish for him to leave it at his dorm. There was no safety net to catch him now. “I left it in my room.”

 

“Do you want me to get it for you? I’m sure Irene would attempt to tear me to shreds but that’s fine.” Kit said it with such sincerity that it made Ty want to just hold on to Kit and never let go. 

 

A spark of a distant memory flashed in Ty’s mind; Kit’s arms around him, tight and secure, a reassuring presence that grounded him when he threatened to fall apart. The gears in his head turned and he looked at Kit with a tilted head. “Can I try something?” he asked. 

 

Kit didn’t hesitate before nodding. “Sure. What is it?”

 

Ty’s heart was thudding fast in his chest as he fought hard to avoid Kit’s gaze. “Give me your hand.”

 

The blonde’s eyes widened as he gulped hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. Ty wasn’t about to back down on his offer until he heard Kit say a clear no, but he could admit that the prolonged silence made him quite nervous. “Yeah,” Kit said, after a long pause, putting his hand in the space between their chairs. His voice was ragged and his cheeks were tinted with pink but Ty chose to ignore that as he placed his hand in Kit’s. 

 

He resisted a shiver as he tightened his hold, lacing their fingers together underneath the table. Ty’s face was warm and judging by the redness in Kit’s cheeks, he was too. 

 

He felt lighter, the longer he had Kit’s hand in his grasp. Although it was inconvenient to eat their meals one handed, neither boy let go — even when Jace started to choke on his own water once he realized what was going on. 

 

The clock kept ticking and laughter and anecdotes were exchanged like currency. The New York Institute residents had no problem detailing to Ty the different failures and embarrassments that Kit has had in their tutelage. Ty tried not to laugh too hard at their stories, lest Kit felt too betrayed, but the blonde seemed too intent on teasing Drusilla and her girlfriend, Aira. 

 

“Did you know that your girlfriend used to have this massive obsession for D—”

 

“That’s enough, Christopher,” Dru said, a warning lining her tone as Aira giggled beside her. “Don’t forget. I have dirt on you too.” With a quick glance at Ty, she gave a taunting grin. 

 

Ty had no idea how he had gotten involved in the situation but he was silently enjoying Kit spluttering his response. “It’s okay, Kit.” Ty smiled, trying to console him. He squeezed Kit’s hand twice in reassurance. In a lower voice he added, “We’ll get her back for this, Watson”

 

The old nickname just came out at the moment and Ty was horrified at the prospect of Kit finding it odd that Ty hadn't outgrown that phase yet. To Ty’s relief, Kit’s face softened as he answered, “I might just take you up on that offer, Sherlock.” They shared a conspiratorial grin and the rest of the world melted away.

 

Ty was high on the feeling of having Kit back in his life again but something kept niggling in his brain chanting there’s something missing, there’s something missing, there’s something missing. He and Kit were friends again but he knew deep down that he wanted more . 

 

“God, Jace and Clary are so sappy,” Kit mumbled to Ty, before directing his next statement to the couple in question. “Get a room, you two! Don’t defile the table.” 

 

Jace looked away from Clary to glare at Kit. “You’re just jealous.”

 

Kit rolled his eyes. “Sure, Jace.”

 

Simon sighed. “Just let him have this, Kit. You don’t know what it’s like to have lived with this for so many years.”

 

Jace gave Simon a betrayed look. “Yeah, we'll get used to it. Herondales only love once, so this public display of affection isn’t going anywhere.”

 

From beside Ty, Kit stiffened, his hand growing clammy in his grasp. 

 

Anush, not sensing the tension, laughed. “I thought that was a myth. You know, something to make Herondales seem better than all of us”

 

It was Magnus who answered him. “Oh, it’s very real,” he said. “I have seen generations upon generations of Herondales and all of them have stayed true to the desires of their heart.”

 

Kit was unbelievably pale now. Clary glanced at them with an expression Ty couldn’t decipher. “So, Ty, how does it feel to be the Scholomance’s top student?” Clary asked. But the tension was already in the air. 

 

Ty’s head spun, trying to connect the dots that were right there in front of him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he was hearing and what that meant but he didn’t want to give in to a twisted version of false hope. 

 

I love you, Ty. I love you.

 

Those were the words that Kit told him so long ago. If what Jace and Magnus were saying was fact, then that statement was still the truth of Kit’s heart. 

 

Maybe Kit had meant it in another way. Like the way Julian loved Ty or the way that Emma loved Cristina. But he knew deep down in his heart that that wasn’t it. It was annoying considering that Ty really wasn’t one for relying on gut feeling rather than the cold hard facts. 

 

From beside him, a loud buzz sounded from the pocket of Kit’s jacket. Kit furrowed his brows and fished out his phone, looking at the caller ID. 

 

“It’s Tessa,” he said. It was only a mumble but it was clearly meant for the whole table. “I gotta take this.” With that he stood up, and unlinked his hand from Ty’s.

 

As Kit walked away, he felt as confused and empty as he had three years ago.

 

“Ty?” Clary asked, bringing him back to the present. It was then that Ty realized that he was so caught up in his own thoughts that he failed to answer Clary’s previous question. 

 

Ty shook his head, as if it would erase the thoughts racing through his head. “I’m sorry, Clary. What was your question?”

 

“Just go to him.” It was Magnus that spoke, addressing Ty with kindness. Magnus was there when Ty felt his heart break over Kit the first time, Ty suspects that Magnus doesn’t want to witness it shatter again. “I’ve had enough of both of you dancing around one another.”

 

Alec kicked him under the table. “Stop meddling,” he hissed. 

 

“That’s the only thing I know how to do,” Magnus hissed back. 

 

Ty looked at them warily and turned to Clary instead. “I’m following Kit out. Excuse me,” he said as he stood up and followed the path that Kit took. 

 

He swore he could hear distant cheering from their table right before the door closed behind him. He had no time to make sense of it as he hastened his pace towards where he thought he would find Kit. 

 

The million thoughts rushing through his head vanished the longer he walked. His brain was filled with the same clarity of knowing where the last piece of the puzzle would fit. 

 

Ty could hear the faint echoes of Kit’s voice leading up to the front steps of the Scholomance. He slowed his footsteps, stopping behind a pillar, not wanting to intrude on his call. 

 

“Don’t worry, Min-Min.” He heard Kit saying with a gentle voice. “When you wake up tomorrow, I’ll be back home with you!” There was a beat of silence before Kit laughed. “Of course. I’ll even buy you that chocolate muffin you love so much, how does that sound?”

 

Ty really didn’t want to eavesdrop on a family conversation so he rested his eyes on the stars above them instead. His lips formed the name of each constellation with precision. He really did wish that he had brought his headphones, because as hard as he’s trying, he couldn’t block out Kit’s voice. 

 

He stepped away from the pillar and stood on the upper step of the entrance instead, catching Kit’s eyes. Kit didn’t look all too surprised to see Ty and just gave him a small wave. 

 

“Yeah, Tessa, I’m fine,” Kit said over the phone reassuringly. His sister must have passed the phone while Ty was busying himself. “I’m just with Ty right now.”

 

Ty raised his eyebrows. He didn’t know why, but he certainly didn’t expect Kit to say those words to his mother. 

 

“Yes, Ty Blackthorn. Who else?” Kit’s cheeks were starting to turn redder the longer that he spoke to Tessa. “Oh my God, mom!”

 

As much as Ty was intrigued, he didn’t want to add on to Kit’s very obvious embarrassment. He gestured to Kit that he was going back inside but the other man just shook his head and signalled for him to stay put. 

 

“Okay, please stop talking. I’ll text you and dad when I’m about to open the portal, alright? I love you, see you soon.” With that, Kit hung up the phone and gave Ty a weak smile. “Sorry for leaving you behind. Tessa was just calling because Mina refused to sleep without having talked to me first.” Even in that moment, Ty cursed the absolutely adorable imagery of Kit and his sister that popped in his mind. “But you didn’t have to follow me out. I promise I was gonna go back in right after the call.”

 

“Kit.” Ty couldn’t handle all the small talk, he walked briskly down the steps to Kit. He wanted to get everything off his chest or he fears he may never get the courage again. 

 

“What is it? Are you oka—”

 

“Do you really want to go back to being my friend?” Ty asked, not pausing his stride towards Kit. “Answer honestly, Christopher.”

 

Kit furrowed his brows and avoided Ty’s searching gaze. “Of course, I do. I missed you.”

 

“But you want to be something more.” It was an educated guess on Ty’s part but it still sent his heart reeling. He stopped right in front of Kit now, so close that he could smell the faint scent of his cologne.

 

“Ty,” Kit said, tired and weary. Ty wasn’t sure if it was resignation or a plea.

 

“Tell me I’m wrong.” He needed to get it out of his system now. There was no going back, the words were pouring out of his mouth as if they were being squeezed out of him. “Tell me I’m wrong and we could get this whole thing over and done with. We’ll get on with our lives. You’ll be my Watson and I’ll be your Sherlock but I’ll never stop this ache in my heart telling me that you’ll never truly be mine.”

 

Kit didn’t move, but his eyes were now fixed on Ty, utterly captivated. “Ty,” he said again as if Ty’s name was the only word he needed to convey what he felt. 

 

“I need to know if you still love me,” Ty said. “I hate not knowing things, Kit. And for three years you have remained an unsolvable mystery to me.”

 

Kit breathed out, eyes never leaving Ty’s frame. Finally, he spoke. “I could never not love you, Tiberius Blackthorn.” His voice was soft yet it carried so much weight to it. “The stars could go out and the world could collapse in on itself but my heart would still keep beating for you.”

 

Ty exhaled shakily, reaching up to cup Kit’s face in his hand. Kit leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

 

Kit hummed, his eyes still closed. “For what?”

 

“For not realizing sooner.” With Kit’s eyes closed, it was easier to examine his face up close. He looked more at peace than Ty had ever seen. His lips were set in a relaxed line and his cheeks were tinted pink from the cold. Ty’s thumb danced on the edges of Kit’s cheekbones, taking in the feeling of having Kit with him. Kit was here and he was the most beautiful person Ty had ever seen. 

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s not.” Ty’s tone became more stern and Kit’s eyes snapped open at that. He didn’t move his cheek from where it rested on Ty’s hand. “For three years I led you to believe that I didn’t love you back. But I do. Raziel, I love you so much that I don’t even know what to do with all the space you take up in my heart.”

 

“I can’t believe us.” Kit gave a weak chuckle. “We spent three years dancing around our feelings. How dumb does that sound?”

 

Ty smiled at him, the smile that was reserved only for Kit. “Well, I think it made for a pretty awesome reunion.”

 

Kit laughed, brightening the night sky with the sound. “It’ll be a story for the ages.”

 

“But you leave soon,” Ty said, his heart sinking. 

 

Kit’s smile faded. “Yeah. I leave in an hour.”

 

The sight of Kit’s smile vanishing from Ty’s view created a dull ache in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to put it back on his face. He looked at Kit and another idea sparked in his head. “Then I suggest,” Ty said, slowly inching closer, his eyes trained on Kit’s lips. “That we make the most of our time.”

 

Kit was silent for a moment before letting out a bout of soft laughter. “What are you suggesting, Tiberius?” he asked cheekily, an eyebrow raised. 

 

For the first time in three years, ocean blue met steely gray as Ty looked into Kit’s eyes. “Kiss me,” Ty said without preamble.

 

He heard Kit’s breath hitch right before he reached up and brought Ty’s lips to his own. 

 

Ty remembered Julian telling him fairy tales when he was a child. Livvy absolutely adored them while Ty was always confused. 

 

Why do they have to kiss? That’s kind of gross. You’ll just be exchanging saliva , he asked Jules one time. 

 

Julian, with the grace of both a trained Shadowhunter and an older brother, bent down and looked at Ty without any judgement. There are different ways that you can show someone you love them. Kissing is just one of those ways. 

 

Ty remembered nodding even though he didn’t understand. It was such a foreign concept to him that the act of kissing didn’t really register to Ty as something monumental. 

 

That was all until Kit came in and crashed all his walls. 

 

Kissing Kit was like being consumed by fire. It spoke the words I love you , against Ty’s lips with passion and reverence. Ty’s hand glided along Kit’s jaw while the other rested firmly on Kit’s hip. If Ty thought that sparring with Kit was thrilling, it was nothing compared to Kit’s soft lips on his. 

 

Kit’s hand ran through Ty’s hair, and he couldn’t even bring it in himself to care that they’d be walking back into the banquet looking utterly undone. All he could think about was Kit .

 

When they parted, Ty rested his forehead upon Kit’s. Their chests rose and fell in a syncopated beat as the air came back into their lungs. Ty’s brain scrambled for something, anything , to say but he was at a blank. Judging by the awed look on Kit’s face, he was feeling the same thing. “Stay in touch, Watson,” he decided on saying. His voice was rough as he whispered the words against Kit’s lips. 

 

Kit’s reply came not a moment later. “You’re a fool if you think I’m ever letting you go again.” 

 

***

My Dearest Tiberius,

 

I got home through the portal unscathed but the unexpected force of Mina jumping onto me was enough to make me wish I didn’t. She’s growing too fast, I wish she’d stop and just stay this little forever. One day, she’s gonna grow old and everyone is going to teach her how to bully me, I am not ready for that. 

 

Anyway, it hasn’t even been two hours yet, but I already miss your stupidly good looking face. How you manage to make me this undone will always remain a mystery to me. Send me a picture, will you? It would certainly make your boyfriend’s day better. (That was partly a joke but if you feel so inclined to fulfill my request, just know that you would be making one heart less lonely.)

 

Jem and Tessa keep shooting me knowing smiles every time I walk into a room. When I told them about us, they, I kid you not, jumped for joy. I suppose it has something to do with not putting up with my Herondale angst anymore. 

 

Tessa keeps subtly dropping hints that she wants to meet you, so I guess a visit to the L.A. Institute during the winter holidays is due. I wish she’d stop teasing me, though. My cheeks cannot handle all that heat and pinching.

 

Jem on the other hand is more subdued with his approach to coaxing the details of our relationship out of me. I know he’ll just parrot everything I say back to Tessa but I kind of like talking to Jem about how you make me feel. It makes me miss you a little bit less. 

 

This was just supposed to be a short fire message, it isn’t anything I couldn’t have sent in a text; but please consider this as one of the many letters I owe you for the three years I’ve been gone. Expect more of these to come your way, Tiberius, I’ve been told I’m a very chatty person. 

 

Don’t miss me too much, you’ll be seeing me before you know it. 

 

I’ll love you forever, 

Watson

 

P.S. You have some competition. Mina doesn’t take too kindly on having to win my affections. Settle your score with her during the holidays.

 

***

Dearest Christopher, 

 

Did you receive the photo in the text I gave you? Livvy and I wondered since we could see her ghost, would you or I be able to see her in a photograph. So far, on my end, it was a bust. But I don’t have your legendary lineage so I was hoping for positive feedback from you. Plus, you asked for a picture in your last letter, so I like to think I’m killing two birds with one stone. (Judging by the slew of heart emojis you sent, I am guessing you were only able to see me. However, I couldn’t be too sure, so please confirm ASAP.)

 

Jules says that you and your family are all welcome to stay at the Institute in the winter, on the grounds that you take the room farthest from mine. (Does he believe that we’re sticking to that rule? Sherlock and Watson definitely don’t abide by such bounds, do they?). He seemed pretty okay about our relationship when I called him, but judging from your rapid fire, caps lock, fear filled texts, he gave you some sort of ‘shovel talk’. 

 

Everyone is excited to see you again, Kit. You fear that they have forgotten you but they are really happy that you’re joining us again. 

 

Anush would like me to tell you that he says ‘hi’. That’s all he told me to say, so consult with him on what that’s about. 

 

I would love to detail more about the Scholomance and my family but my hand has been cramping from all the notes I’ve been taking today. Also, I know you’d end up calling me right after receiving this letter, so what’s the point?

 

Stay safe. I want you to come back to me, okay?

 

I love you,

Sherlock

 

P.S. Thank Jem and Tessa for the cookies! They were absolutely delicious. And can you ask if Mina liked the stuffed puppy I sent her? I promise I’m not trying to woo her with gifts but there’s more where that came from!

Notes:

sometimes simon gets that look in his eye when he talks to kit because it reminds him of george el-oh-el.