Work Text:
'Eliot, Eliot,'
Blood is running down his hands. The cold corpse of his beloved teacher feels like a stone.
'Eliot, Eliot,'
A child who didn't have to survive. His body must have faded to pieces.
'Eliot, Eliot,'
He doesn't understand why he is still alive. A blurred existence, his-but-not-his, a person without any home or place to return. Just a stranger, just a passerby. All that he was, just it.
'Eliot, Eliot,'
'Passenger!'
He sees an unclear picture. Maybe he was crying while he was asleep. For how long couldn't he even do that? How long were his eyes dry? Is the ruthless and cruel Sand Pawn crying? Impossible. But tears are slowly streaming down his face, proving otherwise.
'Here, here,' strong hands embraced him like he was a child, gently but tightly.
'Sesa?' He tries to speak, but words stick in his throat.
'I felt something cold, so I woke up. Your hands were very cold. Too cold. I was afraid that you were dead,' Sesa answered him with a sad voice. He was a person who had to hold the dead body of somebody he cared for too, after all. He placed his hands over Passenger's ones, trying to give warmth.
'Sometimes I wish I were. I couldn't let myself die before I finished my revenge. But I didn't feel even a bit of happiness after. What an idiot. I should have died in those flames,' he curled his lips in a self-mocking smile.
Get angry at me, I am the only one to blame for my mistakes. I don't deserve you. Never did.
'No, you're not an idiot,' Sesa said it strongly, looking right in his eyes which still weren't dry, 'I love you. All sides of you, good or bad. Sand Pawn, Passenger, Eliot. I'll say this as many times as you want.
Your face when you make coffee or care for the plants.
Just being with you.
Your quiet pleasant voice.
Blue eyes with light pink hues, prettier than the evening sky.
You're a part of my family, my partner and my lover, and I'm glad I met you. I'm glad you are alive. I care about you. So don't you dare to think you don't deserve me. I am here, with you. I'm not going to leave you alone.'
'...You are sometimes more impossible than me, do you know this?' Passenger wiped his eyes with a weak smile, 'I'm trying to make you angry at me, but you only show kindness. Sesa, I thought that I buried my heart in that goddamn desert long ago. But you make me feel alive, you care about me, but I'm still scared. I don't want to carry another corpse of somebody I love again. I don't want to outlive you.'
'I'm not gonna leave you alone, I said it, right? What a stubborn head,' Sesa pulled close the slender body of his lover without any troubles, lay on the bed and laid Passenger's head on his chest so Passenger could hear his heart beating. Then he started singing with a slightly quiet, but clear, low voice.
'I've never heard this song. Also it's not the language I know.'
'It's old Sargonian. Something like "My love, the sun always rises even after a long night, so don't lose hope." Probably in some of my previous lives I was a singer from there, who knows.
Wait, I shouldn't say thi-'
Passenger pressed his finger to Sesa's nose, interrupting him.
'Was I such an awful person who couldn't even thank their lover for trying to calm them? I still feel only hatred and repulsion to that sand land, but it gave me a chance to meet you. So thank you, Bridge. Thank you, Sesa. For everything you have done for me.'
'You face looks better. Do you want to sleep more? It's only morning, after all,' Sesa smiled at him.
'We don't have work today, so why won't we spend this time together?'
'Okay, okay, got it, ' Sesa delicately placed his lips at Passenger's forehead.
They continued kissing each other, slowly, steadily. Both were touch-starved, both had visible and invisible scars. Two geniuses with a tragic past.
Sesa didn't want to see Passenger's sad face like this anymore. He undressed them both, placing clothes on the table. His body wanted Passenger, and only him. So he was going to take care of Passenger, tell him the things he would like to hear, assure him he wouldn't disappear and leave him. They spent a few hours like this, just enjoying each other.
Ride me or just lay down if you're too tired.
Touch my horns if you want. I'll touch your head feathers then.
Your face looks cute when you smile like that.
Say immediately if you feel uncomfortable or hurt.
I want you to feel good and safe.
Want me to bite you?
Faster or slower? How exactly do you want?
I love you.
When Sesa woke up in the evening, Passenger's hands were still hugging him. He tried to remove them without waking his lover.
'I love you so much, do you know?' a sleepy voice sounded, and Passenger's eyes opened a bit.
'Yes, I know. I love you too.'