Chapter Text
Part I: The Story Without a Protagonist
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
#1 came freshman year.
Presented to her with orange leaves floating around her, #1 was given to her by her friend and neighbor Kiba Inuzuka.
"Can you give this to Ino for me?"
Well, just because it was presented to her didn't necessarily mean that it was meant for her.
...
Come to my car real quick. -Kiba
Zipping up her peach backpack, Hinata felt like her heart would get stuck in her throat upon reading the text. His car? she thought, tilting her head slightly to let her bangs sweep along her forehead and out of her eyes, allowing her to have a clear view of the nearly empty classroom. Did he run out of gas again?
She rubbed her thumb against the screen of her phone, pondered, worried like she often did, and then marched out of the classroom just as the final bell of school rang. The hallways were full of students who sprung to life upon the end of school, and she had to hug the wall to avoid bumping into anyone. Scrolling through her contacts, she hoped that Kiba didn't need immediate help. It would take her a bit to get to the parking lot at this rate.
But five minutes and still no call or text from her friend, Hinata stumbled out of the building. She adjusted her backpack, made sure her purse was securely hung over her shoulder, and made her way to the freshman parking area. The entire place was swarming as students raced against the clock to avoid the after-school traffic. Hinata zagged through the cars, thumb finally finding Neji's number, and she would have called it if she had not come upon Kiba's obnoxiously red Jeep Wrangler.
He was there, leaning against the door with his hands stuffed into the front pocket of his hoodie. A bit of a somber frown was on his lips. Hinata felt her nerves spike. "O-Oh, Kiba!" she called, rushing over. Her friend looked up and saw her, frown disappearing behind a wide grin. But she was not fooled. His usual, enthusiastic greetings were nowhere to be found — something must have happened. "Are y-you l-low on gas again? Sh-Should I-I call N-Neji? I have h-his number right h-here if —"
"Actually, Hinata." He leaned forward a bit to scratch the back of his head. "I have something to give you."
Give? That's it?
She pushed her phone in her pocket, confused.
Then what was with the . . .
Squinting slightly, Hinata looked closely at her friend. Wait. Was . . .
Was he blushing?
Suddenly, she became very aware of everything. The rush was gone, leaving the freshman area relatively empty. In other words, they were alone — together. And he was blushing and he was a boy and she was a girl and they were friends and she had seen this a million times before! This is how it was in mangas, right before the childhood best friend confessed his love to . . . to . . .
Oh dear.
And the fact that he refused to look at her didn't help.
Clearing his throat, Kiba pulled out his remaining hand from his pocket, revealing a white envelope. Hinata felt the sun beat down on her and the asphalt pull her in, and she was nervous and confused and unsure, and this — this couldn't be happening! He was Kiba! Kiba didn't . . . he never saw her as . . .
Feeling faint, Hinata wanted nothing more than to disappear, but then —
He said something about Ino.
"H-Huh?" She blinked up at him, trying to meet his gaze, which he stubbornly avoided. Wait. She eyed the envelope and the red, glittery heart stickers that were plastered randomly on its back. What? "Y-You want me . . . t-to give this . . . to I-Ino?"
Kiba gave a strained smile. "Can't you?" His dark, sharp eyes swam until they finally — finally — met hers. "Do I really have to spell it out, Hinata?"
No, he didn't.
She just . . . didn't understand.
Not about him liking Ino — because who wouldn't? She was beautiful and bright, friendly to everyone, and totally single. And the Inuzuka and Yamanakas had vacation cabins right next to one another (Hinata knew — she'd been to both of them), so Kiba and Ino knew one another relatively well. The answer to Why Ino? was clear.
But what confused Hinata was . . . why couldn't he give the letter to her himself? If she knew anything about Kiba (and she ought to, seeing that they've been friends for a good seven years), she knew that Kiba wasn't the sort to back down from a challenge or sulk away with his tail between his legs. He was fearless, loud, brash; it wasn't normal for him to act so awkward and shy.
Why was he so nervous?
Is it, she thought, looking down at the envelope, that important to him?
"Okay, K-Kiba," she said, taking the confession letter with two hands. "Y-You can count on m-me!"
The grin he sent her was blinding. "Thanks, Hinata!" He ruffled a hand through her pixie cut, messing it up and getting her bangs in her eyes again. There was the enthusiasm she knew and loved! With a half-wave, Kiba hopped into his Jeep and raced off. Hinata watched the taillights zoom off, fingers gripping the ends of the envelope. Biting her bottom lip, she slipped the letter into her purse before going off to find her cousin's car.
...
The next day, in the girls' locker room, Hinata realized why Kiba had given her such a task. Giving confession letters was so nerve-wracking — and heck, she wasn't the one confessing!
After pulling on the jacket of her gym uniform, Hinata slowly pulled the letter out of her backpack before making her way to the back, where a large mirror over a counter and two sinks hung. There, Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno inspected their reflections and tied their bright, long hair into high ponytails. She stood and watched them for a moment, battling internally with herself. It wasn't her shyness, really. Ino and Sakura were her friends, and she was comfortable with them.
It was just . . . she felt nervous about the letter, and she didn't want to let Kiba down.
And you won't, she reminded herself, trying to boost her own confidence, if you just give it to Ino. And with a sharp nod, she walked to Ino's side and held out the envelope. "H-Here," she said. "It's f-for you."
Ino looked away from the mirror, blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. Sakura leaned closer and peeked over Ino's right shoulder and hummed in wonder.
"Well, look at that," she mused.
Ino flipped over the envelope and smirked at the heart stickers. "Aw, Hinata, you shouldn't have." Gasping, Hinata moved to explain, but Ino was already ripping into the envelope. Inside was a folded piece of notebook paper. Sakura's chin was practically on Ino's shoulder as Ino unfolded it and read the letter, eyes widening with every line they came across. "Kiba . . . wrote this?"
"Holy shit," Sakura whispered.
Hinata played with the cuffs of her jacket's sleeves, not sure if their reactions were good or bad. Secondhand embarrassment overtook her senses, and she feared for Kiba's pride. Her friends were not malicious in any sort of way, but they spat out gossip as much as they ate it up. She was sure that in a few days' time, the content of Kiba's letter would be whispered through the hallways. Oh no. Sweat trickled down her neck. What do I do?
Sakura snatched the letter from Ino's grasp, who hissed in protest, and re-read it. "I can't believe it. Dog Breath has a crush on you!"
"Shut up, Sakura!" Ino blew a piece of hair out of her face before turning to Hinata. "Did he really give you this? To give to me?"
Hinata nodded. Sakura sighed dreamily.
"Aww, he's shy! You're so lucky, Ino. Even meatheads like Kiba are tripping over you!"
"Sakura, lay off!" Ino frowned and pulled the letter away from Sakura. She gave it a tentative glance before putting it back into the envelope. The gentleness in her action gave Hinata a sense of hope she had not known she needed. "Don't talk to me about meatheads when Naruto has been after you since sixth grade!"
Hinata flinched and Sakura paled. They both decided to keep their mouths shut. Though nice, Ino had a sharp tongue when she was boiling up.
Rubbing her temples, Ino attempted a smile at Hinata. "Thanks . . . for giving this to me. I mean, it's flattering, I guess. I just — I mean, well — I don't know. I need to sort things out."
"No way," Sakura said. "You're considering it?"
"No, you clod! But I can't just stomp on his heart!" Looking back at the mirror, Ino fixed her hair and adjusted her gym shorts before marching towards the door that led out of the locker room. Hinata and Sakura followed her. "I need to think and figure out how to — y'know — let him down nicely."
Oh, Kiba, Hinata thought, guilt accumulating in her chest. I'm so sorry.
...
She had been wrong; it didn't take a few days for the gossip about Kiba's confession letter to get leaked and spread. It took a few hours, and by lunchtime, it seemed nearly everyone knew about it.
Cafeteria tray in hand, Hinata walked to the back of the dining area of the school. She found Kiba off in a corner, slumped, shoulders bent to the ground. It didn't take gossip to understand what had happened. I guess Ino figured something out, Hinata thought as she slipped into the bench across from Kiba, who didn't even bother to look up at her. Her heart sunk at the heartbroken look on her friend's face. If only I could have helped, somehow . . .
Wiggling, fumbling, Hinata struggled under the awkward atmosphere. She bit her bottom lip and tried to pull off the plastic wrap from her fork, but her shaky fingers made it a difficult task. It took a minute, then a tan hand stretched out, and she gave it to Kiba, whispering a thank you as he pulled it off with ease and handed her the wrapperless fork.
"So," he began, poking at his lasagna with his own fork, "I'm guessing you heard."
She had. It was hard not to. But even if she hadn't, his face told her everything.
Scooping up some of her canned peaches, she tried to come up with something to say, something to comfort him without making him think she was pitying him, but her thoughts were cut short when two boys plopped down on Kiba's immediate left and right.
"Kiba, bro, you really confessed to Ino!?"
One of those boys happened to be Naruto Uzumaki, energetic blonde and total loudmouth. Hinata blushed and focused her gaze on her food.
Kiba growled, "You wanna tell the whole world, dipshit?"
"Hey, don't get all pissy with me just cuz she rejected your ass!"
Perhaps not the best thing to say. Hinata's head shot up just in time to witness Kiba reel his right arm back, hand curled in a white-knuckled fist. She leaned forward, protests on her tongue, arm stretching out to try and reach him, but she was beaten to it. The other boy, Rock Lee, grabbed the raised arm and gave him a hearty pat on the shoulder. "Worry not, my friend," he said, grin wide and bright. "As the saying goes, there are plenty of seas in the fish!"
Kiba sighed and relaxed his arm. "That's not it at all, Lee."
"Yeah, even I know that," Naruto said.
After that, the conversation somehow steered away from Ino to homework, sports, and gossip. Hinata smiled as Kiba seemed to fall back to his usual self as he teased and laughed with his friends. He'll be okay, she thought. He had always been strong and quick to bounce back, even when he was a kid. It just took time.
Time, and friends by his side.
Thankfully, Kiba had plenty of each.
...
"Wait, so you really gave Ino a card?"
Thirty minutes in, and Naruto seemed to already have broken the silent rule.
Hinata saw Kiba frown and wondered why he was bringing it up again.
"Yeah. What of it?"
"Ain't that a bit, y'know, old school?"
"Says the guy that sang some cheesy-ass song to ask his crush out to Homecoming ."
Lee, through the half-chewed bits of his second serving of pasta, exclaimed, "Oh, I remember that!" His eyes practically sparkled with memory. "What a wonderful performance, full of life and passion. A bit off-key at points, but it was an excellent way to get the message across!"
Naruto, red-faced, rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well — hey! Stop changing the subject!" He turned his glare back on Kiba. "What made you think of a letter?"
"Will you get off it, Naruto?" Kiba growled. "I just wrote a letter, okay? Why are you so up my ass about it? You know how I am — if I start talkin', I can't stop, and that would make a shitty confession. So I wrote what I needed to say down. Big deal!" He stabbed his fork into his lasagna, nearly breaking it, and sneered down at his tray. Then he met Hinata's gaze, and his frustrated expression changing to something more sheepish within seconds. "And, y'know, if I lost courage or anythin', I'd just give it to Hinata. It's still my confession, even if Hinata's the one who gave it to Ino."
"WHAT!?" Suddenly, bright blue eyes were staring at her, and the idea of them was enough to make her feel faint. "Hinata, you gave it to Ino!?"
She gave a shy nod, and Kiba glared at the blond. "Naruto, I fucking swear, if you don't shut the hell up —"
"That's fantastic!" Lee stood, rounded the cafe table, and slid next to Hinata. She blinked, and he grinned. "Hinata, please! Won't you give my confession letter to Sakura?"
"EH?" Kiba yelped as Naruto choked on his milk. "You also wrote one?"
"Well, not yet." Fire came to Lee's eyes and he fisted his hand with determination. "But when I do, it will be full of so much passion and love and life and energy that she'll just have to accept me! Oh, I can feel it all now. I must get these feelings onto paper!"
With that, he stood, flung his camo backpack over his shoulder, and rushed out of the cafeteria. Kiba and Naruto were stunned, jaws hanging. Hinata pushed her tray away; the idea of having to relive the anxiety of watching Ino and Sakura ogle over another boy's confession letter made her lose her appetite. That, and, well . . . it was no secret that Lee was not the only one who had a crush on Sakura. Glancing across the table at the blond, Hinata felt turmoil fire up in her chest.
Naruto tore his eyes away from the spot where Lee had fled to, a strained smile on his lips. "Well," he said, laughing nervously, "you know what they say: the heart flaunts what the heart flaunts."
Kiba elbowed him in the stomach and sighed. "That's not it at all, idiot."
#197.
Handed to her behind the bleachers in the school's gym, Confession Letter #197 was sky blue and wrinkless. It was just like all the ones before; and she knew it shouldn't, but Hinata still felt her heart flutter upon receiving it. The boy who gave it to her murmured a nervous farewell before shuffling off, not once looking back to see her waving. Most of them didn't, but she figured she'd continue to do it; one day, someone would look back, and hopefully she seemed encouraging enough to give them some reassurance. The boy disappeared, and Hinata dropped her hand and slipped the letter into her Louis Vuitton shoulder bag, snapped it shut, and escaped to the hallway behind the gym.
Pulling her phone out from her jean's pocket, she tapped it on, saw it was four minutes before her club would start, and quickly thumbed through her contacts before coming to a familiar name.
Ring . . . ring . . . ring . .
"Hey, Hinata. What's up?"
"H-Hey, Tenten, can you come out for a second?"
"Mmm? You got another one?"
"Yeah."
...
Standing in front of a door surrounded with posters of the various sports teams of Konoha South, Hinata traced her thumb along the cursive name of her friend. He has good penmanship. Her lips turned into a small smile.
The door opened. Tenten stepped out in her wrestling outfit, hair tied up into two buns. Immediately, her eyes fell onto the envelope, and she leaned against the doorframe. "Hey." Hinata knew that tone. Troubled and disappointed. It came often with the letters. "What's the story behind this one?"
Hinata handed her the envelope and said, "We met behind the b-bleachers. H-He, u-um, said something a-about being in Calculus with you."
Tenten hummed, holding it in front of her face. The frown never left. "Bleachers, huh? A lot more secretive than the other ones." The heavy sigh that came from her brought tension to Hinata's shoulders. "When do you think they'll learn, Hinata? These boys — they're cowards! How do they expect me to — to date them — when they can't even confess to me themselves!? Like, I'm not going out with some guy who uses my friends because they can't even — even — UGH!"
She squeezed the envelope, destroying it.
"Tenten, please!" Hinata's eyes widened. "You'll r-ruin it!"
"Like I care. I'm sick and tired of these stupid things!"
The crushed letter was thrown to the ground, and Tenten huffed. Hinata dropped to her knees and picked it up. This was the trouble with being the messenger. She understood Tenten's frustration, and she wanted nothing more but happiness for her friend; but she had also seen the nervousness of the boy and seen the effort he'd put into it, down to the very name on the front. If he had been there and saw Tenten's reaction, he'd be heartbroken! Hinata couldn't get that out of her head, and with a staggering breath, she put the letter on her knee and tried to straighten it out.
"Oh, Hinata." Tenten knelt down, eyes crinkled with regret. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." She took the letter, stood, and helped Hinata to her feet. "I should be thankful, huh? Not every girl has it like I do — or Ino, or Sakura. I shouldn't throw these things around like they're nothing. But — gah! — Hinata, it's so frustrating sometimes. The first few were flattering, but now . . . I dunno. It feels like guys are taking the easy way out. I mean, confessions are supposed to be hard, right?"
"I-I don't know, Tenten."
A bitter smile came to Tenten's lips. "Right." She turned her head and looked over her shoulder. Ruckus could be heard from within the Wrestling Room. "I guess that's our cue, huh?" She waved the envelope between two fingers. "Don't worry, I'll read it. Thanks, Hinata. I'll catch ya later."
She turned on her heels and closed the door behind her. Hinata checked the time on her phone, gasped, and scurried off to club.
...
"Lemme guess — you got another one."
Still catching her breath (why did she have to pick Chess Club, which was on the opposite side of school?), Hinata plopped herself down across from Shikamaru Nara, club president and good friend of hers. He was also a genius, and he probably knew where she had been even before she ran into the room.
"Y-Y-Yeah," she panted, shrugging off her backpack and sitting it on the floor. "S-Sorry."
"Nothin' to apologize about." He looked down at the chessboard, eyes narrow with boredom. She wondered why he chose this club out of all the other ones at school. When he wasn't sleeping in a corner, he was distracted or bored out of mind. Wasn't that the opposite reason to join a club? "But you've seriously got to tell them off. It's a pain in the ass, I'm sure."
She blushed and nodded. Kiba had told her the same thing, but it wasn't in her nature to deny people of her help. And in some ways, it felt nice to be needed, even if for a short period of time. Smiling, grateful, and finally catching her breath, Hinata made the first move.
He went next, moving a pawn forward before leaning back in his chair.
They played in silence for a while, as was the norm.
Neither of them were really talkers.
"So . . . how many?"
Hence why, when the game seemed to get tense (for her, at least, because she was sure Shikamaru already had a million different steps planned out) and he began to start talking, she was swung into confusion.
Pushing her rook forward and taking his knight, she said, "197."
He leaned forward and perched his chin in his left hand, staring at her with lidded eyes. "You're close to the most romantic number in the world."
"Huh?"
"220." He moved his pope and took her queen.
She squinted at the board, trying to focus on the game. "H-How is that —"
"Check."
She eyed her endangered king. That was fast. Usually, she entertained him a bit longer before losing. Maybe she was off her game, or maybe he was successfully distracting her with the small talk. Or maybe both. Probably both.
Tapping her left index finger on her knee, her eyes flew across the board, trying to figure something out. She almost missed the serious glint in Shikamaru's eyes as he dropped his arm. "How many are yours?"
Hinata couldn't, for the life of her, understand why he was asking that. Was he still trying to distract her, or was it simple curiosity? But . . . she knew that he was very aware of the answer.
Sighing, she moved her king to the left, saving it from Shikamaru's rook, queen, and pope. But despite feeling like she had just saved her ass, he smirked like he had just won.
He moved his knight, and he didn't have to say anything to let Hinata know she was totally screwed. "Well?" he asked.
"None."
"You sure?"
She blushed.
He couldn't be trying to embarrass her, right? Sure, at times, Shikamaru could be impatient or brutally honest, but he never sought to push someone down. So why was he asking her such things?
Scratching his cheek, he drawled, "You'll get one eventually."
After making a move, she raised her chin. Is he trying to be . . . encouraging?
"H-How are you so sure?"
He tapped his temple, as if that was all the explanation he needed. She laughed and gestured to the board, awaiting his move. His smirk never left as he moved his queen, trapping her king.
"You're the girl who's gotten nearly 200 confessions. Someone's bound to get the idea." His smile trembled at the corners. "Aside from me, of course." Smoky eyes on her king, he leaned back and folded his arms. "Oh. Checkmate, by the way."
He had only ever asked her a single question since they had entered high school together. Together, as in at the same time, and not together as in together — because he had his world, and she had hers, and that was how life was for three years.
But then, over the pages of her poetry book, she saw him approach her.
And it wasn't the kind of approach where he'd pass by her desk; it was the kind where his stony gaze was set on her — not her desk, not her direction, her — making her feel like she was under a bright spotlight.
And when he was there, in front of her, taking up the majority of her world at the moment, he said the most confusing thing in the world.
"Variation on the Word Sleep, 27 - 30. Do you know it like I do?"
It was the fall of junior year when Sasuke Uchiha brought hell to her life.
...
Hell, because how was she supposed to answer something like that?
Hell, because he was noticeable, and Hinata wasn't used to a room full of eyes staring at her.
Hell, because his heavy, unwavering gaze made her feel like she had done something wrong.
But . . . I'm just sitting!
And so was he. Next to her. And they shared the same table. That alone made her feel dizzy, and Hinata stared down at her book of poems, trying to focus on the words and not on the heat of his gaze as he stared holes into her side. But that attempt was futile, and with every minute, her passion to read dwindled to nothing.
Closing the book, she glanced at the clock wall.
Three minutes until English class started, and she was stuck.
Sasuke Uchiha always knew how to trap his prey.
"Answer my question." There was a poem in her book by Robert Frost — Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. Sasuke's voice reminded her of that poem.
She bit her lips together and folded her hands in her lap. "N-No. I-I don't know it well."
He eyed her book from the corner of his eye, looking like he wanted to say something, but instead kept to himself. That was something Sasuke did often, a move that left other people tiptoeing with anticipation around him, wondering what was on his mind, wondering why he didn't say what he clearly wanted to say. She didn't feel that curiosity, strangely. Probably because, honestly, Hinata only felt cold when he was around.
...
"Bastard!"
But, once upon a time, she had felt that curiosity with someone else.
Naruto's screech gave light to the room, and students who were trying to leave the classroom gave him dirty looks as he rushed past them. The desk she sat at shook when the blond slammed his hands on it, and Sasuke sighed and stood up. "Why weren't you at the front? Your eyes are too bad to sit back here!"
"The hell?" Sasuke pushed past him. "My eyes are fine, dumbass."
Naruto laughed and followed him. "I'm joking! Hey, Sasuke, what's up with you?"
Hinata watched them leave — or, almost leave. But Sasuke stopped at the door before he left. "Hey." His icy voice was quiet, and not just because it was across the room. But Hinata spent her whole life listening to friends and family and rules and critiques and confessions that her ears were just trained to pick up quiet things. "What's her name again?"
Naruto rubbed his head. "Who?"
Sasuke grunted and gestured his shoulder her way. Her back straightened when blue eyes landed on her and widened, as if just noticing her.
"Oh, hey, Hinata!" He waved, and she gave a weak wave back. Naruto grinned before shooting his friend a disapproving glare. "Sasuke, you need to get your head out of your ass every now and then. She's been in the same grade as us since, like, middle school! At least try to remember her name."
"I know her name," Sasuke said. "I just wondered if you did."
"Eh? Why wouldn't I —"
The door slammed shut, cutting Naruto's sentence off. Feeling her shoulders relax, Hinata rubbed her arms, which were dotted with goosebumps.
Because Sasuke was as cold as winter, and so was Naruto.
...
Which stung, because he used to be her summer.
Neji was scary, because he had eyes everywhere.
Behind the bleachers, in Chess Club, and in Honors English III, fourth hour, with Mr. Hatake.
"What did he say to you?"
She had just closed the car door behind her and wasn't even seatbelted in properly when he had honed in on her like a hawk. She shivered upon meeting his frigid gaze.
"Which o-one?"
"Both."
Sitting back in the leather seat, she pressed the passenger window button to let the cool, autumn air in; Neji had a way of making any space suffocating. The engine of the silver Porsche Boxster purred, but it stayed parked and jittery as Neji fixed her with an expectant look. "N-N-Naruto said hello," she said, "a-and S-Sasuke asked a question about my b-book."
Frowning, Neji yanked the stick shift back. The car lunged forward. Hinata felt her stomach get left behind.
Under the roar of the engine, Neji muttered, "When will he learn to just leave you alone?"
...
Let's go to McDonalds! I need to vent. -Sakura
Reading the text, Hinata pulled her earbuds out and stretched her legs across her bed. She was used to the random outings she and her friends would have, and seeing that it was a Thursday night and all her homework was finished, she saw no reason to not join in on this one. She quickly sent an affirming text before hopping to her feet and pulling on a hoodie over her blouse.
Exiting her bedroom, she skipped down the staircase and pulled her boots on by the front door. She heard the TV in the living room and peeked in to see Hanabi watching some cartoon. "I'm going with the g-girls," she told her little sister, who temporarily lowered the volume to hear her. "Tell N-Neji if he asks, please."
"And you know he will." With the roll of her eyes, Hanabi maxed the volume.
Headlights shined in through the front window. Hinata grabbed her bag and left the house, the chill air blasting into her face and nipping at her nose.
...
"I HATE BOYS!" Sakura slammed her large coke on the table. It groaned in protest, and the napkins atop it shifted away from the brute force behind Sakura's arm.
Hinata sank back into the booth while Ino, next to the window, snorted as she chewed on a fry. "What now, Sakura? Sasuke call you a freak for the millionth time, or did Lee try to call you again?"
Sending the blonde a glare, Sakura spat, "Neither, actually. It's fucking Naruto again."
Naruto?
Why did it feel like she just couldn't avoid him today?
Chest throbbing, Hinata took her straw between her lips. Across the table, she saw Tenten watching her.
"He's gotten more annoying," Sakura continued. "Today he totally stole Sasuke's phone and texted me, asking me to meet up at the mall. Do you know how long I spent on my hair, only to go and find out it was Naruto all that time!? Like — can he not get a clue and leave me the hell alone?" She tore into her cheeseburger, barbeque sauce smearing against her glossy lips. "I swear, he's gotten stupider in the last year."
"That's why you need to get a boyfriend," Ino said, smirking. "He'll back off once you're taken."
Tenten rolled her eyes. "This is Naruto we're talking about, Ino. He'll either do what he did with Sasuke and become his best friend — OR he'll scare the bastard off like he did with that one guy — uh, what was it again? Sayori?"
"Sasori." With a heavy sigh, Sakura bowed her head. "It's hopeless. He's hopeless."
"Wait." Ino's head shot up. "What if he gets a girlfriend?"
Hinata knew that look in Ino's eyes — the glittery, sort of far-off look that whispered trouble. Her blood went cold, and she hoped she was wrong — please, God, let me be wrong — but she had a feeling she knew what Ino was thinking. And based off of the fearful grimace on Tenten's face, she must have had an idea, too.
Dabbing her mouth with a napkin, Sakura asked, "And who'd wanna date that dolt?"
"I'm sure there's plenty of people." Ino swung her head Hinata's way. "She's had a crush on him for years."
"Hey, hey." Tenten waved her hands in front of her friends, as if trying to wave away the ideas brewing in their pretty, little minds. "Think rationally, guys. Naruto likes Sakura and has only pursued Sakura. Why would he want to date anyone else?"
"He's delusional, Tenten," Ino said. "He'll like anyone who gives him attention and has a pretty face. Trust me; if he was given the chance, he'd take it."
Despite the heat in her face, Hinata was shivering. "U-Um." She began to slide to the end of the booth. "I-I-I need to use the r-restroom."
But before she could leave, two boys stepped in front of their table. The girls looked up at them, and one of them (a tall guy wearing a college jersey) rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Sorry to bother you ladies, but we were just wondering if you all were free tonight and wanted to come to a club with us." He looked over his shoulder at a table with three more boys at it. "Oh, and with our friends, of course."
Tenten frowned up at them. "We're highschoolers."
The other boy smiled. "There's no alcohol, so they aren't carding."
Sakura stood and downed her coke. "Yes, please! I need to get my mind off of school and shit."
Ino raised a hand in agreement. "Count me in."
The boys looked at Tenten expectantly.
"You coming, Hinata?" she asked.
No. Not because she didn't want to — though, well, it was kind of late and she did have a quiz tomorrow — but because she knew she just couldn't. The slanted, forced smiles the boys gave her was more than enough to tell her that their invitation was not meant for her. So, she squeezed past them, ignored the dull pain in her chest, and said, "I-I have to wake up early tomorrow, s-so I'll get going n-now."
She made her way to the front, and Ino stood from the table. "Wait, Hina!" she called. "Let me drive you."
A few feet away, she heard the table of boys groan and mutter.
Tapping on her phone, she flashed her Uber app before turning around and leaving.
...
The ride home was quiet for a while. Then her phone pinged, and the screen lit up with a text.
You ok? You should have come to the club with us. -Tenten
Smiling, she texted back.
I'm ok. Have fun :D -Hinata
A few moments later, her phone beeped again.
Is it because of what Ino said? About Naruto. -Tenten
Ice went into her hands. They shook, and she could barely text back.
No. -Hinata
Sighing, she turned her phone on silent and looked out at the passing world. In the reflection of the window, her watery eyes stared back at her, reminding her that even after a year of escaping and rethinking, she was still feeble, weird Hinata.
"Stop it," she whispered to herself, curling her sleeves over her fist and rubbing her eyes. "I-I thought y-you got over this."
...
You're a bad liar, Hinata. -Tenten.
Friday morning, twenty minutes before classes started, she found Sasuke sitting in the library, right across from where she usually sat. Not only that, but he was sleeping. Odd, she thought, slowly, quietly taking her place on the cushioned chair across from the snoozing Uchiha, I never took him as the type to fall asleep in school.
She pulled out a black, hard-covered book and skimmed through the worn pages until she got to her bookmark. She'd had the book of poems since sophomore year and must have read it a hundred times since then, but she still found the poems exciting, whimsical, or sad. Sometimes, she felt like the book changed ever-so-slightly every time she reread it — like the love was sweeter, or the memory more bittersweet, or the winters —
"Are you reading it?"
. . Colder.
...
Hair hanging in his face and the corner of his mouth slightly damp with drool, Sasuke looked up at her with an air of drowsiness surrounding him. Still, somehow, he looked dark and brooding, and Hinata figured that was just his style.
Upon her silence, he perched his chin on his arms and said, "Are you?"
"R-Reading what?"
"The one I want you to read."
He said it like it was obvious, but that couldn't be farther off. Lowering her book slightly, she thought back to English class, to his weird question, and wondered if that was what he was talking about. It had to be. They didn't talk enough for there to be anything else.
She shook her head.
He frowned.
"Why the hell not?"
"Ah, u-um, because it's in the back, a-and I'm only a quarter of the way through."
"So you know where it is, but not what it says." Sasuke sat up in his chair, stretched his arms behind his back until it popped, and regarded her nonchalantly. "Just skip to it, then."
"I-I can't." Hinata closed the book and positioned it so that Sasuke had a clear look of the text on the back. "It's, um, m-made to b-be read chronologically. If I-I skipped to the back, then, um, I-I'll ruin it."
He turned his head and sighed. "Weirdo," he muttered.
...
"You sure are weird, Hinata! But that's why I like you!"
...
"Hey." Hinata blinked and refocused on Sasuke, who narrowed his eyes before looking away once again. "This Sunday — you busy?"
What are with these questions? The least he could do is segway into them.
She shook her head.
"Good," Sasuke said. "A few of us — rather, Naruto, Sakura, and some others are going fishing. Ah, and your cousin agreed to it, so they figured to invite you, too."
Neji was going fishing? She couldn't imagine why he would agree to that — especially with a bunch of Juniors around. But that was a question for a different time. If Neji could go, then so could she, right?
"I-I'll come," she said, missing something about Sasuke that shifted as she pushed her book into her backpack. "Thank y-you, um, for inviting m-me."
A bell rang, warning students that classes would start in five minutes. They both stood, Sasuke looking like a marble statue and Hinata feeling like a clay pot. "I didn't," he said. "Everyone did."
Sunday came with three different cars parked in the Hyuuga's large, round driveway and a whole bunch of teenagers exchanging luggage and passengers to make room. Kiba brought his bright Jeep and had Shino in the front and Naruto in the back with a big, plastic cooler. Tenten brought her black Chevy Blazer with fishing poles practically hanging out of the windows. Ino's blue Toyota Supra seemed to be the people car, with Lee, Shikamaru, and Choji all squeezed in. Hanabi gawked out the front window as Hinata finished tying her hiking boots. "Maaah. Sis, look! There's so many people outside!"
Neji clicked his tongue as he leaned on the towering front door. "Stop staring, Hanabi, it's rude."
In turn, she stuck her tongue out. "Hey, hey. Hinata, you better hurry up. One of the pretty ones looks ready to explode."
"Mm? Who?" Tightening her knot, Hinata stood and peered over Hanabi's head. Outside, she saw that Sakura and Naruto were shuffling on top of Kiba's Jeep — and by the looks of it, Sakura was about to nail Naruto and thus send him into the concrete below.
Oh dear, she thought as she and her cousin rushed out of the house.
...
"Sakura, please! Just let me get down!"
"I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS, NARUTO!"
"NO! DON'T KILL ME!"
"Hey!" Neji stormed up to the Jeep and sneered at the fighting teens. "If you keep on acting like fucking morons, the Hyuuga guards are going to kick both of you out!"
Sharp, green eyes shot down at him. "But Naruto started —"
"I don't care, Haruno. I'm ending it."
They slid down, and Kiba smacked Naruto on the back of the head, barking about him nearly denting his car.
The atmosphere seemed to cool down afterwards as everyone began to prepare for the trip. Hinata stood awkwardly to herself as everyone moved around her, getting situated and passing supplies from one car to the other. She honestly hadn't really paid attention to anything aside from the nervous patter of her heart until a light hum came from her left. Feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand straight, she snapped to her side and saw Shikamaru stare up at the sky with an arm shielding his squinting eyes from the sun.
"Barely any clouds," he muttered, "how troublesome."
Hinata smiled. "I didn't know y-you were into fishing."
"I'm not," he said, looking at her, something heavy in his gaze. "You know which car you sittin' in?"
She looked around, noticing Neji was helping Tenten pile the fishing rods in the back while Kiba and Lee helped Sakura and Ino move all the food into the cooler. "I-Is there even room?"
Shikamaru jammed a thumb towards Ino's Supra, saying, "There's a spot in the back, but you'll have to fit 'tween me and Choji. That, or —"
"Sasuke, you lazy ass! Help us out!"
Naruto slammed open the back door of Tenten's car and dragged Sasuke out, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but outside. He snapped his arm out of Naruto's grasp and muttered something that even Hinata's trained ears couldn't pick up. But it was clear by his scowl and stormy eyes that he was pissed, and both she and Shikamaru turned away from the two.
"Yeah," Shikamaru drawled, shoving his hands into his pockets, "I'll just tell Ino you're riding with us."
Smiling, Hinata followed him to the car.
...
But, one squished attempt later, Hinata ended up not between Shikamaru and Choji, but in Tenten's car with Neji and Sasuke. Pressed up against the pile of poles, some of them threatening to fall on her lap with every turn the Blazer made, she felt like she would have been more comfortable in the other car. But Neji also wanted her in the same car as him, and being the people pleaser she was, she had agreed without protest. Sasuke, on the other side of her, tapped a random beat on his knee as he stared out the window, not once acknowledging her. Which, personally, was strange to her due to his recently chatty behavior around her.
Maybe this was a new tactic of his: shower someone with attention, and then completely ignore them. Am I falling for it?
Well, either way, it was cramped and hot in the back of the car, and Hinata felt like she was going to combust.
In between Neji and Tenten's conversation about some sort of boxing game, she stuttered, "U-Um, could you p-please turn up the AC? I-I'm a bit hot."
Tenten grinned at her in the rearview mirror as Neji turned a knob, allowing cool air to blast through the vents. "Really, Hinata? It's, like, fifty outside."
Blushing, Hinata simply sat with her hands between her knees, thankful that a bit of cool air was blowing in her face. Her shoulders jumped when wind suddenly rushed into the car, and she looked over to find Sasuke had lowered the window.
"What?" He gave her a sideways look, nothing escaping him. "It's stuffed back here."
...
Lake Kono was a forty-minute drive from the mansion, and somehow the quaint suburbia turned into wild, beautiful forest life. Boots crunching on leaves the second she hopped out of the car, Hinata popped her knees and sucked in the cool, fresh air. The entire area was nothing but oranges and reds and yellows, and sunlight sparkled on the lake's shifting waters and danced between the trees.
It was beautiful. But anything was beautiful after being stuck in that car for nearly an hour.
It took about twenty minutes for the gang to set everything up. Blankets were laid across the grass, the cooler next to them, and baskets full of bait and hooks were placed on the rocky bank of the lake. A few people took their fishing to the nearby dock while others stayed on the beach. Hinata had unfolded a lawn chair that Ino had brought for her and placed it a bit away from the group, hoping the distance would help her get more fish. With a flashy lure tied on the end of her hook, she flung it out and wedged the pole between two rocks before relaxing into her chair and pulling out her book.
"I thought you were here for fishing."
Sasuke stood there with his own chair perched on his shoulder, dark eyes peering at her closely. Hinata was beginning to suspect that he was purposefully seeking her out. Maybe she was his main target to try his new strategy on. She played with the corner of the page she was on and said, "I-I am."
He didn't say anything, just threw his line into the water and sat down.
Biting the inside of her cheek, she looked out at the water, heart swaying with the waves.
"Don't let me stop you." He shrugged a shoulder at the book in her lap. "Keep reading."
So she did, and for a moment, all that could be heard was distant chatter and the flipping of pages and the lapping water. Then — "Aloud, I meant."
"B-But the fish —"
He huffed. "They won't be scared of your voice."
That's not what I meant. Hesitating for a moment, totally understanding that he gave her no room to protest, Hinata sucked in the cool air and began to read.
"As it
Were tissue of silver
I'll wear, O fate, thy grey,
And go mistily radiant, clad
Like the moon."
...
She stopped halfway through a poem fifteen minutes later. Chattering was in the air — of the teeth sort. And it was coming from Sasuke. Peeking at him over the book pages, she saw him shivering and fold into himself, hands under his arms and neck craned downward so that his chin rested on the valley between his collarbone. Wind blew a bit of hair in her face, and she pushed it behind her ear before standing and shrugging off her jacket.
"H-Here." She laid it on his shoulders, noticing that it looked a bit small on him.
He frowned at it, but didn't remove it.
"Aren't guys supposed to do this?"
"U-Um, I dunno. Are th-they?"
He shot her a bewildered look, then turned away. "Nevermind."
...
Sasuke had caught five fish, and only an hour had passed.
Is he cheating? Hinata looked out at her bobber, lips pursed and brows dipping with confusion. Can you even cheat at fishing?
But it was odd, because they were in the same spot, using the same lures, and she had only caught one thing — and it wasn't even a fish, but a stick that had gotten caught in her line.
The whole reason she had come this far away from everyone else was to avoid the competition. Maybe that's why he's here, she thought, taking a split second to take in his lax posture and empty expression. He's stealing my fish.
Or, a sad thought came, the fish here are like the boys at school and are more interested in other people.
Stupid thought. She frowned and began to reel in her line. There was no point in ruining her trip with depressing thoughts like that. Exhaling through her nose, she watched the bobber skid across the surface, slightly aware of another pair of eyes doing the same thing.
"Hey." Sasuke stood and stepped towards her. "Did you put bait on it?"
She blinked at him. "W-Was I-I supposed to?"
He snorted, the edge of a smirk coming to his lips, and pulled the bait basket closer.
...
Seven minutes later, her bobber snapped under the water, and Hinata never felt so scared and alive at the same time. "What do I-I do?" she asked, voice high-pitched, veins pumping with adrenaline. Her hands had a white-knuckled grip on her pole. "Wh-What do I do?"
Sasuke was immediately at her side, holding the pole, as well. "Reel it in," he said, eyes flying between the lake and her hands. "Not too fast. Not hard either — you'll break the line. Remember to pull. Come on, Hinata, pull!"
She did, over and over again, perhaps a thousand times, before a bass leaped into the air and hung from her line. Her eyes felt like they could pop out, and she grinned, thrilled.
"See?" Sasuke muttered, pulling the hook out of the fish's mouth. "Told you I wasn't stealing them."
...
When lunch was ready, everyone went back to where the cars were parked to eat. People boasted about the fish they caught, sharing pictures and reenacting their catches. Between the bites of his chicken sandwich, Kiba nudged Hinata and asked, "So did you catch any?"
Hinata smiled and nodded, moving her hands apart to show the relative size of the bass she caught. Kiba grinned, and to the side, Naruto whooped. "Nice, Hinata! I knew you'd be good at fishing. It's, like, your calling."
Kiba snorted and barked at Naruto, "You made that sound like an insult!"
"What? No way!"
Hinata stood and excused herself, nearly throwing her half-eaten sandwich away, but decided against it. She figured it could serve as good bait, and she began to return to her fishing spot. Sasuke could be seen there in the distance, having decided to eat in solitude rather than with everyone else. Feeling anxiety bubble up in her stomach as she heard Naruto's howls of laughter boom through the air, she wished she had joined him.
"Hey, Hinata." She looked back and saw Shikamaru walking up to her. Based off of the heaviness in his eyes, Hinata figured that he spent the majority of the trip napping instead of fishing. She smiled and turned to him.
"Y-You catch any f-fish?"
"Nah. Like I said — not really into fishing." His eyes flickered over her shoulder, darkened, and then bowed to the rocks below. "Anyway, I came to ask if you were finished. Some of the others are over fishing and are going to play football at the cleaning we drove past — the one near the entrance. They — well, we wanted to see if you were joining."
Hinata felt like she was split in two. A part of her could hear the hidden desperation behind Shikamaru's request. He didn't want to be left alone with a bunch of rowdy teenagers playing ball, and she felt a bit guilty to have not been able to spend some time with him. But she was also aware — terribly aware — that Naruto was going to be one of those rowdy teenagers, and she wanted nothing more but to avoid that awkwardness. "I'm s-sorry," she said, smiling apologetically, "b-but I'd like to fish a-a bit more."
He sighed and rotated his shoulder. "Sure, Hinata. Just be careful."
He turned and left, and she returned to her walk back to her fishing spot.
Be careful? But it's just fishing.
...
"S-Sasuke." His sharp gaze snapped her way, making her heart jump in surprise. "S-Some of the others are going to p-play football. D-Do y-you, u-um, want to —"
"I'm good."
Oh.
And here she thought he would rather do something more active than fishing.
She moved to sit down, but he stood and stopped her.
"Hey." He slung his pole back, poised and perfect, and gestured to her bobbing bobber. "I bet I can get it farther than you can."
Ah, she thought, smiling, pulling her pole out from between the rocks, so he is bored.
...
The sun was setting by the time everyone decided it was time to go home. Hinata climbed into the car, stifling a yawn. Don't, she told herself. If you fall asleep now, you won't be able to when you get home.
But once the car began to move and sway her along gently, her eyes grew heavy.
"Hey."
Sasuke was facing her completely, no longer leaning towards the window.
"Mmm?" she hummed.
"If you fall asleep . . ." he drifted off for a moment, eyes swimming, lips pursing. She rubbed her eyes and waited. ". . . don't fall into the fishing poles."
...
"Eh? Hinata, what'cha reading?"
"O-O-Oh! U-Um, just poems, N-Naruto."
"Poems, huh? Cool! Are they any good?"
"I-I like them."
"Mm. You'll have to read me some one day. Just make sure they're fun ones!"
"O-Of course! I'd love to."
...
She woke up with sweat crawling down her spine, and she found Sasuke fast asleep beside her with her jacket wrapped around both of their shoulders.
Something bitter came with Confession Letter #211, a heaviness Hinata had hoped to never feel again. Looming over the boy who knelt down and fished through his backpack, watching that blush of his reach the tips of his ears, she gripped the front of her sweater as the bitterness began to bubble in her throat. It hurt. Why was she feeling like this?
"Thanks, Hinata," the teen boy whispered as he pulled out his slightly-crinkled envelope and held it up to her, like a knight presenting a gift to a queen. But she didn't feel like a queen. Not al all.
Pulling her lips up, she nodded and took the letter. "I'll g-give it to h-her tomorrow. Have a n-nice day."
The boy stood, whispered another bashful thank you, and was off. She might have been too distracted by the sudden, weird feeling to hear the gasp, but anxiety flooded through her body, making her highly aware of her surroundings, and her head shot up. The boy staggered near the door of the classroom as it shot open, revealing Sasuke Uchiha in all his glory. His dark eyes narrowed at the boy before he shoved past, startling the boy and making him hurry away. And now, in a classroom full of heaviness, it was just the two of them.
Hinata slipped the letter in her purse before leaning over to pull her backpack off of the floor and place it on the desk she stood next to. She unzipped the front pocket to pull her phone out. Sasuke stood casually (how does one stand casually, exactly?) a few desks away, eyeing something about her. She couldn't tell what he was looking at, but the weight of his gaze made her self-conscious no matter what.
It was like that for a while. Hinata wasn't the kind to complain about moments of silence, but why did all the ones that include Sasuke feel so damn tense?
But then, after a longer while, Sasuke seemed to cave. He marched over with an annoyed huff, pulled a familiar-looking jacket out of his backpack, and shoved it her way. "Here," he said, glowering to the side, "you left it in Tenten's car."
For a moment, Hinata wondered why Tenten hadn't just returned the jacket. She thought back to that evening, when she and Neji were being dropped off. She was too drowsy to remember much, but she did seem to recall something of a distracting look passed between her friend and cousin. That, surely, would be a reason. And, well, Sasuke was the one who had borrowed it, after all.
Gently, she pried it from his fist. "Thank y-you." She unzipped the biggest pouch of her backpack, shoved a few books aside, and pushed it in.
The look Sasuke gave her made her feel like she had an extra pair of arms.
"It's freezing outside."
I know. It's great. "I-I'm wearing a s-sweater."
He looked appalled, and Hinata couldn't help but smile.
"What?" he bit out, obviously startled by her amusement with the situation.
"W-Well . . . ." Was it wise to tell him? Surely, nothing horrible could happen. She was overthinking things again. The past week has given her more perspective on Sasuke's life than the past five years combined; sharing was just a way to connect with him, right? Do I really want a connection with Sasuke? She thought back to the lake, to his twitching smirk when he'd see the bewildered look in her eyes when he'd catch yet another fish, and figured that maybe — probably — a connection wasn't so bad. "Y-You, um, used to remind me of a p-poem. A-Ah, um, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. D-Do you know it?"
He frowned at the title alone and shook his head.
Automatically, without really any instruction, her hand snaked past her stuffed jacket and pulled out the black book. She flipped to her bookmark, then went a few pages backwards until she found the title in name at the top in inky, bold text. She smiled at him, eyeing him from under her lashes. "I-I'll only b-break my rule once, s-so you better pay attention."
His eyes widened (So he has more than just two expressions, huh?), and he said, "Wait. Then skip too —"
His voice was drowned out by her own as she read the poem, feeling the familiar chill of winter in the air, smelling the snow and pine and tasting the ice in the air. A bit ago, that all used to come from Sasuke, from his deep voice that could freeze any poor woman's heart; but now, with her jacket smelling like him in her backpack, all she could imagine was him in the middle of that snowy tundra, freezing and breathing hot smoke.
When she finished, an expression she had never seen was etched into Sasuke's face. Well, actually, she had seen that face before. Millions of times, probably, just never on his face. Usually, it came from the boys who sought her out with letters in hand.
Confession Letter #212. Her eyes met his. Does Sasuke Uchiha have it?
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep." That line, the one she had read a hundred times and never grew old of — he just said it, as if steam was escaping his mouth. "Is that what you think about me?"
The heaviness returned tenfold, pressing against her lungs, making it hard to breathe. What was this? What was that? What was that voice, that expression? What was this feeling, this situation? This wasn't the Sasuke Uchiha she heard about, watched idly from the corners. This wasn't the cruel, conniving boy whose every word, every movement, had some sort of reason behind it, whether it be manipulation or authority. Or . . . maybe it was, and she was so deep into his trap that she didn't realize it herself.
"U-Um, w-w-well, I used to, yes, b-but not anymore." Calm down, Hinata, or you'll forget how to breathe!
"How come?"
"W-Well . . ." She thought of him by the lake, shivering and looking kind of pathetic, and — strangely enough — smiled. "Y-You can't really b-be winter when you get c-cold so easily."
Sasuke's brows dipped, and his lips curled with displeasure. "I guess." His eyes zoned in on her. She felt like she was on stage, in the limelight, on the front page; she felt like the protagonist, the princess, the hero.
That feeling was so foreign, she couldn't describe it as anything more than breathtaking.
"But . . ." he continued, stealing air from her lungs, "you'll keep me warm, right?"
...
She's heard that tone before. Not from him, but from people around her. From boyfriends and husbands and friends when they were feeling brave around a crush; she heard it from Lee with Sakura, Kiba with Ino, and . . .
And Naruto.
Flirting, Hinata thought, face heating up. He's flirting with me.
And that was scary, not because she didn't know what flirting was (because she did, all too well), and not because she didn't know what it entailed (because she was quite familiar with what flirting meant), but because the last time someone had flirted with her, she had grown her hair out.
And that was maybe the worst decision of her life.
...
It was nearly ten at night. In her dark room with only the light of her phone illuminating her face, Hinata felt like if she didn't talk to someone, she'd have a heart attack. Her knee bounced against the mattress, and every so often, when her thoughts faded for a millisecond, she'd hear Sasuke's hot, breathy voice echo in her ears. "You'll keep me warm, right?" It was enough to drive her insane.
I can't do this. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood. I need to talk with someone.
And being that it was late on a Monday night, and that this was Sasuke she'd be talking about, there was only one person she could talk to. Tucking the back of her hair against her skull, Hinata walked over to the two doors that led out to a marble balcony. She walked along the stretch of the balcony and reached the very end, which pointed toward the neighbor's equally large balcony. On the other side, a large, white dog snoozed, nearly blending in with the marble. Hinata leaned against the railing and whistled. The dog's head lifted, beady eyes shining in the moonlight.
"Akamaru," Hinata cooed as the dog stood, tail wagging. "H-Hi, boy! Can you get Kiba?"
Akamaru jumped on his hind legs and barked, tongue out and drool dripping down his bottom lip. She giggled, and after a few more barks, the doors opened and Kiba peeked outside. "Shh, boy! You'll wake up the neighborhood!" He walked over and patted the head of the dog, who nuzzled his leg and quieted down. Kiba rolled his eyes before grinning over at her. "Hey, Hinata. A bit late, ain't it?"
"I-I'm sorry," she said. "I-I just need to talk."
Kiba dropped his hand from Akamaru's head, climbed onto the railing, and jumped over to sit next to her. "I'm here."
She smiled and leaned next to him. "I-It, u-um, might sound a bit weird —"
"Uh oh. What happened?"
She played with the cuff of her blazer, a blush starting to creep up her neck. How was she supposed to go about this without embarrassing herself? "Well, u-u-um, it's about . . . a, um, a b-b-boy."
Immediately, Kiba's eyes narrowed. "What did that bastard Naruto do to you? Ask you for another 'favor'? I swear, that shithead doesn't know what's right in front of him unless it fuckin' smacks him in the head — and, hell, even then he might not remember it!"
"Ah, no, it's not . . . N-Naruto."
Guilt swelled in her throat. Kiba knew about her past with Naruto — of course her vague explanation would make him think that he had done something to her. "A-Actually, um, it's a question." She chewed her lip and dropped her gaze to her white, folded hands. "When . . . when b-boys f-flirt with you, does that m-mean they like you?"
In the corner of her eye, she saw Kiba's eyes widen as he scratched the tattoo on his cheek. Shame flooded her system — I knew I should have waited. Oh, Hinata, why are you so stupid?
"Depends, I guess," he finally said. He shifted on the railing, neck craning back. "What . . . what did, y'know, he say?"
There it was again, that hot voice in the back of her mind that made the hairs on her arms stand. She shivered and shook her head, trying to get it out of her head. "I-I m-make him . . . w-w-warm . . . ?"
"Eh?" And like that, somehow, the tension disappeared. "That's it? That's flirting?"
Hinata pursed her lips, a bit offended. "W-Well, he said it — y-you know, flirtatiously."
Kiba snickered and tousled her hair.
"Okay, okay. Say he did say it . . . flirtatiously. Was there, y'know, anything else, I guess? Winking or something?"
"Well, he k-kind of just . . . looked."
"Looked?"
"Y-Yeah."
"At you?"
" . . . Yeah."
Kiba shook his head, grinning. "I dunno, Hinata. I don't really know what that's supposed to mean." His eyes flickered to the side. "Maybe you should ask the girls. They usually notice things better than I do."
Hinata nodded sadly.
She would . . . if she could. But she knew that if she said anything that hinted at Sasuke to Ino and Sakura, they'd be devastated. "Thanks, K-Kiba. Sorry to bother you."
"No problem." He hopped back to his balcony. "You gonna be alright? Don't let what that guy said get to you if it's makin' you nervous. Just ignore it, kay?"
"R-Right. Okay."
Easier said than done.
...
Returning to her room, Hinata first saw a blue light flashing from her bed. She sat down, scooped up her phone, and saw she had gotten a text. What? Someone else is up? She tapped in her password, clicked the message notification, and nearly dropped her phone.
Hey, this is Sasuke. Naruto gave me your number.
. . . H-How?
How how how? And why? No, mostly WHY!?
Why did he want her number? Why did he text her tonight? Why did he get it from Naruto? And . . .
And . . .
And . . . why did Naruto still have her phone number?
Angry — FURIOUS! — and confused and bewildered and literally trembling from head to toe, Hinata cried out in anger, threw her phone under her pillow, and slammed her head down, battling with the questions, with the memories, with the fatigue, and with that stupid, idiotic, fucking awful, hot, steamy voice.
She hadn't thought she was the luckiest girl in the world. Yes, her family was well off, she went to a good school, had good grades, and had amazing friends; but she also was terribly shy, terribly anxious, and terribly unnoticed.
Especially . . . by him.
That's what she thought for a while, until that day — the day the God of luck smiled down upon her for perhaps the first time ever. And what was she granted more than running — literally running — into Naruto Uzumaki while on her way to third period.
"OOF!"
"SHIT!"
They both fell at the same time. Her books went flying and he nearly bumped his head into the wall. Dizzy and a bit winded, Hinata fell for him all over again.
"Shit, Hinata! I'm so sorry!"
"Watch it, dumbass." Sakura's voice rang through the hallway. Pink, manicured nails landed on Hinata's left shoulder, and she looked up and saw her friend standing over her, glaring at the blonde. "She's, like, half your size. You could have really hurt her!"
"Ehh? But I apologized." He crossed his legs and rubbed his neck. "You okay, Hinata?"
"I-I-I'm f-fine, Naruto," she whispered.
Sakura snorted. "Get up and help her, idiot."
He did so, and it was as if God Himself were stretching his tan, big hand out from heaven. She took it, his hand nearly as warm as her face, and felt her heart leap as he helped her up. "Th-Thank you," she said, bending down to pick up her books, a good distraction from the brilliant, heart throbbing grin he sent her.
"No problem, Hinata! Sorry for running into you. You're so small — I barely saw you."
Her smile wavered, and Sakura snarled.
"NARUTO!"
"What, WHAT!? It wasn't an insult!"
"I'm going to KICK YOUR ASS!"
"WAIT, SAKURA, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"
...
There wasn't a whole bunch Hinata hated about herself. Her timidity was a hindrance, her stutter was annoying at times, and sometimes she wished she had more self-esteem, but Hinata didn't think she was a bad person.
But if she did hate one thing about herself, it was her lack of confidence.
She watched from across the school dining area as Naruto walked from table to table, looking for a spot, a sad smile stretched crookedly along his lips. The empathetic type, she felt that sadness, that shame, and wanted nothing more but to stop it. And she could — there was an empty spot next to her, and she would be thrilled to have him sit next to her. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was getting his attention.
Rubbing her thumbs together, a nervous habit of hers, she watched as he neared her table, a lump getting stuck in her throat. She tried to tell herself that it was no big deal to invite him over; if anything, she was doing him a favor. But there was a spiteful voice in her head. It told her irrational things — he'll reject you, he'll make fun of you, he'll ignore you — and by the time he was there — RIGHT THERE — she was too scared to even look at him, let alone talk to him.
In times like this, she wished she had courage like Sakura.
That would be great, she thought often, to be like Sakura.
"Uh, hey, Hinata."
She yelped, jumping, not expecting to hear Naruto, especially so close. He stood next to her, smiling, eyes squinting slightly.
"O-Oh, Naruto!"
"Yeah. Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean to . . ." He trailed off, looking hopeless, and Hinata felt her heart shatter. "Do you mind if, um, well — Sakura said no, and there isn't anywhere else, so do you think —"
"U-Um!" Her hands squeezed together. "N-Naruto, d-do you want to . . . sit next t-to me?"
She scooted over, and he grinned.
"Really? Wow, thanks, Hinata!"
He sat next to her, knee a few inches away from her. There was no way this could be happening.
Tearing at his fork, he practically inhaled his food. Her stomach was full of butterflies, and she felt full, like she had just eaten ten pounds of food. When he finished, looking starved, and she offered her tray, he looked at her like she was an angel from Heaven.
"Hinata . . ." Why was his voice so broken? Had she done something wrong? "You're . . . really nice, actually." He gave a weak laugh, staring at her tray. "To be honest, my day hasn't been the best. First it was that surprise test in Algebra, then Sasuke was acting pissier than usual — then Sakura . . . well, you get it. And I was so sure I'd be eating alone again. And when you let me sit here — I didn't expect that at all. I kinda thought you didn't like me."
Horrified, Hinata stuttered, "N-No! N-Not at all, N-Naruto!" He stared at her. She blushed, gulped, and restarted. "I-I mean, y-you're a very kind person, N-Naruto. I could . . . never hate you."
Naruto smiled, eyes looking a bit watery, and pulled her tray over to him. "Thanks, Hinata." He shoved her mash potatoes in his mouth as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. "Y'know, I used to think you were kinda weird — not weird weird, but, like quiet weird. And you are a bit quiet weird, but you're pretty amazing, too."
Sitting there, watching him inhale her food, she didn't really think about her growling stomach or shaky hands. She just smiled, beginning to see that even with her flaws, being Hinata wasn't so bad after all.
...
"Woah, Hinata?"
That happy voice that had been stuck in her daydreams for the past few years suddenly sounded behind her, and she turned in the middle of the hallway and found him staring at her — or, maybe, gawking was a better word.
"H-Huh?" She raised a hand to her red face, wondering if something was caught in her hair or stuck to her cheek. "What's wrong, N-N-Naruto?"
He waved his hands in the air and laughed nervously. "Nothing, nothing. It's just, you look different, somehow."
She did?
She looked down at her clothes, at her shoes, at her posture. Nothing. Nothing different. But then, as she raised her head, she felt something tickle her shoulders, and realization hit her. "O-Oh, u-um, I haven't been a-able to get my h-hair cut in a while."
He snapped his fingers. "That's it!" Staying there, staring some more, Naruto seemed to be distracted, and she, with a quiver in her stomach, wondered if it was her who was distracting him. "Well, you should let it grow out. It looks good on ya!"
Smile faltering a bit as pink came to her face, Hinata was stuck between absolute glee and absolute bafflement. Naruto waved farewell before rushing down the hallways, and she had to lean against the wall to keep herself from falling.
No way.
...
"U-Um, hey, Hinata?"
Two months later, her hair was a bit past her shoulder, and Naruto wouldn't stop staring at her. Hinata didn't know how to feel about the attention, but she didn't want it to go away. Turning in her desk's chair, she looked back at him, startled by the pink glow in his face.
"Y-Yes, Naruto?"
"Can I . . . have your number?"
And despite it being January, Hinata smelled summer in the air.
...
Gasping, trembling, and hurting, Hinata sat up in bed, sweat covering her entire body. It's just a dream, she told herself, very aware of the phone beneath her pillow but still trying to ignore it, avoid it. Calm down, Hinata.
But she couldn't. His smile was behind her eyelids and his voice was ringing in her ears, and she nearly screamed when she felt something brush her shoulder, like a lock of hair tickling her skin. Standing, legs nearly giving out beneath her, she rushed to her connected bathroom, turned on the blinding, white light, and glanced at her reflection.
The scared, crying woman that stared back made her stomach churn, and she opened the cabinet beneath the sink and pulled out a pair of scissors. "Fuck you," she hissed between tears, grabbing a chunk of hair and cutting it off, blue hair falling to the floor and into the sink. She cut and cut until she felt like she'd never be able to feel that sickening sweep against her back again. Throwing the scissors on the sink, she glared at that woman, at the uneven hair, and felt like she was sinking.
...
She didn't mind it, though. She'd rather sink than raise up and feel like an angel for even a second.
Part I - End